NPR Music - Songs that hit you hard (2023)

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

We asked listeners to tell us about a song they ugly cried to or just couldn't stop playing. On this episode, we share some of their picks and the stories behind them.Note: This episode originally ran on Dec. 26, 2023See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

It's all songs considered from NPR Music. I'm Robin Hilton. You know, we're always on the show. We're always looking for the kind of music that moves you like no other. The songs that you obsess over or you ugly cry to, you know, or you just can't stop listening to. So towards the end of last year, we asked listeners to tell us about that one song, that one song that one song that hits them hard like this. I'm here with NPR Music's Mietra. Hey, Mitra.

Hey, how you doing? Mityra, you're a video producer with Impure Music and Jazz Night in America, and you are the one who got me thinking about this because the NPR music team, we all got together to talk about our favorite music of the year and what should be on our year-in lists and everything. And you told us about an experience that you had with one song in particular. What was it? The song was Wait Till I Get Over by Duran Jones,

and it's from his album that came out this year of the same name. Well, when you talked about it, I was so moved by how moved you were by the piece. We decided to do a whole show about songs that hit us hard this year. We did a call out to listeners asking them to tell us, you know, their own picks and stories. We got thousands of submissions. We're going to share some of those on this episode of All Songs Considered the songs that hit hard in 2023. But I definitely want to start with yours. Yeah, the song, it hit me because it reminded me.

of both of my grandmothers who were no longer on this earthly plane, it reminded me very much of the old country churches that they went to and that were hardwood floors and that's where you got your percussion from everyone clapping and stomping and singers singing in the round and that's really what he does in it and it talks about seeing his mother, seeing his father and being glory-bound and it really hit me thinking about how much I miss my grandmothers. Let's hear a little bit from the song, and then we can talk a little bit more about it. We're going to have a hard time getting through this show. I can tell already.

Absolutely. Oh, my gosh. How are you doing hearing this now? Yeah, it's hard. It's definitely hard, especially the way the song opens up in the end, and you sort of get a sense of being. heading over to the other side of glory. Yeah, it definitely makes me think about my grandmother's, excuse me,

and my father who grew up in those old country churches too. Yeah. I lost both my parents in the last few years, both of them to separate accidents. So they were taken too soon. And, you know, I certainly want to believe that I'll see them again. But yeah, when he says that line, he's going to see his mother in a sudden. father, that's the one that gets me. Yeah.

I think the thing about this song, and we're going to hear this in a lot of the music that we play, is it's not a sad song. No, no, not at all. Not at all. And I think that's sort of a regular thing, and you'll see in music that's tied to the sort of Judeo-Christian sort of ideology of the next life. It's not about being sad that the person is gone. It's being about happy that they're in a better place.

They're happy. They're with in this instance, you know, would be God. Yeah. Have you shared this song with your family then? I spoke to my aunt about the song and played it a little for her. And I could see on her face she thinking about her mother, my grandmother, and seeing my grandmother in our church. Yeah.

Well, I mentioned all of the listeners. listeners stories and we're going to share some of them. But I have one of my own picks. Should I just get it out of the way before we get to the others? This is a song, if anyone's listened to the show at all this past year, they've heard me talk about before. It's called Christine from the seventh grade. It's by Ben Folds. I listen to a tremendous amount of music to host new music Friday. I move through it really, really quickly because I have to. I mean, I listen to the whole albums, but I usually listen through once. I'm making quick notes. I don't have the luxury of being able to camp out on any one album or song for very long. But when this song came up,

I was multitasking, as I always do, but about halfway through, I stopped my, it was one of those, wait a minute, what? Yeah. What is he saying here? And I hit the back button, I listened again, and he just had me sobbing with this story. Are you the same, Christine? I knew from seventh grade. No, it's definitely you. Just with a new last name. Someone who laughed a lot is what I remember the most. But the face in your profile suggests maybe not so much anymore.

I got the emails these last two years every day. And I just don't reply because I'm not really sure what to say Christy. From the 7th, misspellings, they must be on purpose. We went to a good school, Christy. So what would you imagine I might take from this day? Dark Bible quotes. Guns and dead fetuses.

Seriously, Christine, are you okay? Because this world can be, do you ever see it that way? Christine, from the sad. Yeah, so, yeah, I think what crushes me in this song, it is a little sad. It's funny. There are funny moments.

Like, hey, we went to a good school. You must be spelling these words wrong on purpose. But it is a little sad to me because it makes me think of the lost innocence of youth, the way you can get corrupted with age, just, you know, the world, the way the world can break you, as it's clearly done to Christine in this song. But I don't think it really delivers its knockout punch until he says, you know, the world can be wonderful. Do you ever see it that way? Yeah. And, you know, I see there's just so much ugliness in the world if, you know, if you're on social media or wherever it is,

reading the headlines. And I just find myself thinking that often, like, you know, when I see someone going on a rant about something, I just like, you know, the world can be really, really beautiful. He says later on in this song, he talks about going for a walk after the rain and smelling the wet leaves and the warm smiles of your neighbors and saying hello.

And he's like, these things exist, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it's, I think also you can hear the, missing of the nostalgia of who this person was when he knew her. Yeah. And I think, I mean, also just it's such a great bit of storytelling the way he sort of unfolds it. Yeah. And I'm a musical, I'm a musical theater nerd.

So for me, it just, I really could see a person like having this conversation or writing this letter back to Christine and trying to understand. And especially with the orchestrations and stuff, I'm, it definitely spoke to the, the storytelling nerd in myself. Yeah, the music resonated too. It's such a lovely melody, but also he's doing something clever. It's a waltz. Yes.

Which is you think of two people, right? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And the melody goes up and down, so it goes, da-d-da-da-da, which I'm hearing, my side, your side, your side, my side. Yes. You know, they're playing off so perfect.

It's just a brilliant little piece of music. Let's get to some listener picks. So people sent in voice memos that they recorded. They also wrote emails, and they filled out this form that we had. They sent submissions that way. We'll start with one of the audio clips that we got. Our first one comes from Ellen in Ponce, Inlet, Florida. I lost my husband, Steve, a few years back due to cancer.

I have been missing him, and I've been mourning the loss of all the plans that we had made for retirement together. He was a singer and a guitar player. And I miss his sweet voice and the gentle way he played guitar. When I get there by Pink may seem like a sad song, but to me, it brought me hope this year. When I go and watch the sunset, I think he's found a place to watch it too, and we're watching it together. I know he's writing songs up there, and I can't wait to hear them when I get there. And by the way, after hearing this song, I bought tickets to my daughter, my granddaughter, myself to go see her this week. I think of you

when I think about forever I hear a joke and I know you would have told it better I think of you out of the blue when I'm watching a movie that you'd hate you'd say it you would never want to hesitate

you were always first in line so why would it be different for heaven but I got a couple questions is there a bar up there where you've got a favorite chair where you sit with friends and talk about the weather

is there a place you go to watch the sunset and oh is there a song you just can't wait to share yeah I know you'll tell me when I get there do you think of me I think this song is very much in conversation

with the Duran Jones one Absolutely Absolutely And it's such a great sort of remembrance And also just I wanted to say a big thank you to Ellen And to all the people who are

being vulnerable enough to share these stories and these remembrances with us because that's not an easy thing. But this song, it definitely just... You can hear that the sadness, but also the just fondness of those memories. She's not writing things in an abstract. It's very like, you always did not hesitate to tell us,

oh, I don't like that movie or... You know, all those, just those little small bits about the people we have lost. Yeah, I mean, what is life, but all of those little moments all added up together? And I love that Ellen and Ponce Inlet said that she got tickets. Yeah. So, like, awesome. It ends on that great note, right? Exactly.

You go and see pink. And again, you know, it's a song that lifts her up. Yeah. You know, that lifts Ellen up. So that's really wonderful. So we need to take a quick break here. but we'll have more songs that hit hard right after this. We got another one from a listener named Kathy in St. Louis.

She picked one that a ton of people picked. I mean, like I said, we got thousands of submissions. I cannot tell you. I lost track of how many times this song came up. It's what was I made for by Billy Elish from the Barbie soundtrack. And I'm going to read what Kathy wrote us about the song. Kathy says, the first time I heard it was during the Barbie movie. I was completely caught off guard by the storyline and quality of the movie.

And then this song started playing and I almost spiraled into an ugly cry. I've listened to it a few times post-movie and it stirs up all kinds of emotions in my gut. I've often wondered, why am I here on this planet? What was I made for and what my life purpose is? I know I'm not the only one with these questions, but I turned 50 last month and I still don't have the answers. I never thought a song from the Barbie movie would haunt me like this, but it does. Thanks, Billy and Barbie. I used to float.

Now I just fall. Did you see the Barbie movie? I did. Yeah. I did. And I was like Kathy. That song definitely got me in my emotions as well. Yeah.

I think it like the movie itself is tugging at a lot of different strings, right? It's not just the idea of why are we here. What is my purpose? You know, what's the point of anything? I think it's, there's so much nostalgia. I think it's, you know, with people who've, especially someone, you know, who's older and had a, you know, a long life, you know, played with Barbies maybe when they were a kid. You know, it harkens back to their childhood. It's probably conjuring up all kinds of memories of the journey that they've been on to get to this point where they're even asking this question.

Exactly. Yeah. And to that, you know, the person you thought you were going to be when you were that, when you were that kid or the person you. envision you would be. You know, who do I want to be when I grow up? And now you've grown up. And those things aren't the same. And how do you, how do you live?

How do you reconcile that? And how do you figure out what is that person you're going to be? Yeah. Yeah. I think the thing that was amazing about all the submissions and comments and things that people sent in, the people who mentioned this song, how the age range, it just, you know, people, like young kids. to, you know, retirees and, you know, all from all different regions of the country

writing in about this song and how it would a knockout it was. And it's just, it's so just entertaining to me that a song that is essentially about an anatomic object made real is causing so many people to reflect on what the real is for them, what it, they thought it was going to be and what they wanted to be and how to get there. Oh, I love that. Yeah. I mean, that's sort of the brilliance of that movie that, you know, Greta Gerwig teased out of this doll, right? Right. Really, you're going to make a movie about the Barbie doll and she's going to come out. You know, I mean, everything about it on paper seems kind of silly, but she found this depth that just resonated so brilliantly.

Yeah. And the song, too. Oh. Let's do another listening to pick. What do you got? So, Ben from Western Springs, he wrote in about the song, Dumb Luck from the Wool and Treaty, and this is his comment. The song wasn't necessarily a hit single, and the band didn't even included when I heard them live in Chicagoland, but the simple use of a known phrase struck a chord with me.

It's a brave reminder of humility in life's ups and downs, and is resolute in many of the War and Treaty songs, but I heard this one loud and clear during a year when I lost my dear father-in-law and my mother and stumbled through grief and heartache. There is heaven, there is earth, there's a lie to be thankful for like good times, bad times, making up for lost time. If I could stay young and keep rolling them sevens, trading my tomorrows for one more day I'm living up in high times, late nights, staring into story eyes, high heels, big deals,

rock me like a wagon wheel. We show me a sign and I'll be yours forever. I gotta die Lord help me remember He was a dumb luck Every pity, every breath I took Gotta take off those I sure mankind

Jail time Belly full of being cheated roots of a firm feeling woman She stole all my youth But never stop me gun-ass haul Cattle call Do most anything else for her I started to bring it down.

I got to let him go, too. So for people don't know the Warren Shredi, or husband-wife duo, Michael and Tanya Trotter. And so that was Michael coming in there. Oh, God, this song. Yeah. Part of it, again, is just a killer melody.

What a great melody. Oh, great melody. And that guitar coming in strong. Oh, yeah. Just really. And then, I mean, obviously, amazing vocals. I'm a Tanya Trotter fan.

But I just also, this is a perfect compliment sort of to that Barbie song because of the fact that you know, there are so many things that are out of your control. Yeah. Yeah. You can have every plan in the book and some things are just going to be

how they're going to be and some things work out for you and it is dumb luck and there's just nothing you can do sometimes to fix it one way or the other. Yeah. I think one of the reasons why this song touches a nerve in me is, again, it makes me think of my parents. And, you know, they could very, very well still be here, but because they both had accidents, and again, they were separate accidents. It was its own kind of dumb luck or dumb bad luck, you know. Yeah.

It's just like one of the things that I kept telling myself while I was grieving and getting through all that was just like, you know, it just stuff just happens. It just happens. You can drive yourself crazy trying to make sense of it. It is. And I think one of the phrases good, better, otherwise, that I find myself often saying is it is what it is. You can't. I've heard you say that. We'll come out of meetings.

It is what it is, man. Because for me, it helps me sort of reset and figure out, you know, I can't change anything about this. So now I've got to figure out how I'm going to respond to that. And in the case of this song, you know, some of it is, some of it's good things and some of it's not good things and you could have good luck or you could have bad luck. Yeah. That's the other thing I get out of this is just, you know, they so clearly shine a light on the fact that, you know what? Life is full of a lot of good and a lot of bad. And together they make life.

That is what life is, right? And you, the only way you're going to truly enjoy life and what a, a one. wonder at all is, is if you also embrace the fact that there are bad things. Yeah. Yeah. And embrace that just as you couldn't always make the good, you can't always make the bad. Yeah. So I mentioned how a lot of people flagged the Billy Eilish song. There was another one that when it first started showing up in the replies that we got from people, I thought, okay, okay. I mean, of course, it's on people's mind. Right. I never thought that we'd end up playing it, but we got overwhelmed by so many submissions. It's from Jimmy Buffett, who did just pass away in September, you know, so I think that's part of it.

But on his posthumous album called Equal Strain on All Parts, he had a song called Bubbles Up. And Sharon from Denver is just one of the people who left us a voicemail about it. The song was released posthumously, but it came out at a time for me after a year of complete turmoil and chaos. and a lot of loss. I had a major surgery. While I was recovering, my mom died, and I had to make several trips, well, seven trips in six months back and forth to Florida. I got COVID. My cat died, and then I lost my job of 27 years. When I first heard Bubbles Up, the message felt like it was written just for me. And it has such a positive, uplifting, encouraging message. And knowing that it was written by somebody who knew his own death was imminent, just really hit me very hard

that no matter how bad I've been feeling, maybe keeping some optimism in place is a exactly what I need, but I really needed the encouraging words more than anything. And I still can't listen to it without crying. When this world starts the reeling from that pressure drop feeling, we're just treading water each day. There's a way to feel better. Be well set to weather. The storms till the sun shons again. When your compass is spinning And you're lost on the way Like a leaf in the wind, friend

Hear me when I say Bubbles up, they will point you towards home No matter how deep or how far you roam They will show you the surface The plot and the purpose So when the journey gets long, just know that you are loved, there is light up above, and the joy is always enough, bubbles up. So I want to thank all of the Jimmy Buffett fans who overwhelmed us to get us the playlist because what a perfect sort of goodbye from him.

Right? I mean, it is so overwhelming in my sort of emotions about how, as the listener said, as he's approaching sort of his final time, that he's still able to keep this sense of optimism and hope, but also be able to impart it with others and leave that for others. I think it's such a powerful thing. And obviously, with all the people who sent it to us, they feel very thankful to them as well for that. Very dedicated fan base. Yeah, they have a very, very dedicated fan base. I know this personally.

I have a personal connection to his fan base. Oh, okay. Yeah, when I was in high school for a short period of time, I worked at a Jimmy Buffett-themed restaurant. A Jimmy Buffett-themed restaurant? Yes. I didn't even know such things existed. Yes. It wasn't a Margaritaville.

But it was a gentleman just was a very passionate fan of Jimmy Buffett. And so... So this wasn't a chain or this was just like some local thing. Exactly. And he had a mural on the wall of Cheeseburger in Paradise. And it only played Jimmy Buffett music. And so I got to know his catalog very well over those months. Oh, my gosh.

That's amazing. Did it just drive you crazy or did you like start thinking, you know what? I'm hearing something. I mean, well, how did you feel when you've heard that? he passed away. It made me think of that time. Yeah. Um, very fondly. Um, because after, after a certain point, I really, you know, you learn the words to the songs and you start to really enjoy it. And so it did feel, you know, it did, you know, have a bit of sadness when he passed away. So, yeah. Wow. Um, Jimmy Buffett's bubbles up, uh, from his, uh, final album, posthumous

album, Equestrain on All Parts. So many people picked that. Um, yeah. Let's get to another one of the voice memos that we got. This one's from Fran and also. She shared with us a reflection on got me started by Troy Savan from something to give each other. This was the year when I finally came out and embraced my queerness, but the journey hasn't always been easy. It's been filled with a lot of grief for lost experiences and the things that I never got to do because I've come out so late in my life. And Troy's song was just an injection of joy, pure, queer, gloating. joy. And it celebrates so much about what it means to me to have found such a vibrant community and a new happy sense of self this year. So yeah, Troy Sivon's newest album, I recommend

anyone who's in the same boat listen to it. This song just feels so good. It does. Right? I mean, it just makes you feel like, You know what? Everything's amazing. And I love it. I loved hearing it because of the joy. First of all, it's such a very different tone than the only other. Right, exactly.

That's why we had to get it in the mix here. It's not the tearjerker that a lot of these are. Exactly. But it's such a happy moment. Because I think, you know, that we all have that moment when you see that person who kind of catches your attention. And you're kind of like, mm. It's been very, very long for me times since that has happened.

But yes, I do recall that. Yeah, and just that excitement of like that first encounter of someone who has got you kind of like got your attention. You start to think about, ooh, okay. Yeah, yeah. And I love that. And I love that. It is such a beautiful celebration of queerness. Mm-hmm.

So. Well, Fran's story, you know, we got a lot of stories like that from listeners who talked about, There were other stories from listeners who talked about transitioning this past year, but also stories from listeners just kind of figuring out who they are and who they want to be and finding music as a great companion through whatever it is they're going through. Right. And I think what's great about this song and about music having that ability, that ability, is that you don't really realize until you hear a song.

Sometimes the emotions that you're kind of dealing with and you're swimming through, and this song is such a great sort of way of expressing that excitement. Yeah. Because especially that process of figuring out who you are, your identity and your sexuality, and as she said, she's had some ups and downs with it. This is just a moment to enjoy it and to be happy in this new part of who she is. Yeah, yeah, I love that. I want to play a song from another listener that we got and a story,

and this one is from a musician that, most people probably haven't heard of. The musician is named Sidney Lau. And this was sent to us from Sammy and Sammy's Infernly, Nevada. And this is what Sammy had to say about Sidney Lau's song, In Between. Sammy says, forgive the ride-in. I tried the voice message method, but I couldn't make it intelligible through stupid tears. The song that hit me hardest in 2023 is In Between by Sidney Lau.

the artist is my sister. She passed away unexpectedly in August of this year. Writing and recording music was a hobby of hers. She recorded in between years ago, and in a twist of fate, it's the song we played during her hero walk leading up to her organ donation at the hospital. Listening to the lyrics, it's as if she wrote it for that moment.

She created her own outro, which is so badass and on-brand for her. We published her music posthumously. listening to her keeps her close. We're months beyond the shift. Her name is now referred to in the past, but she remains so present in our memories, her music and the lives she saved.

And then Sammy goes on to say, We love you, Sid. Also, here's my shameless plug to be a registered organ donor, Sidney saved three lives, and we're so proud of her. I come from a place, a place in between, a place nobody.

ever seen overhead a place half awake and half asleep place for life a place to cry where suns don't set and sons don't right place not wrong place not here no there not dark and I don't come along you know the the really incredible powerful story aside beautiful song. It is. And the words really, really hit home to because, you know, she is talking about basically a lot of the things that we've been talking about on the show, which are, you know, nobody really knows anything. I don't know. There's so much uncertainty in life. But this is all about letting go and embracing the journey. and just letting it lift you and take you wherever it's going.

Yeah, and just the idea that she had no way of knowing that this song was going to be so prophetic in many ways, that she is, her presence is quite literally in the in-between. Yeah. Of parts of her still here living on through that donation. Oh, yeah. Even if she, her spirit is no longer on this earthly plane, but still does exist in many ways.

in those memories that her family has and in this song here that we're talking about. Yeah. I think something else that she does really beautifully in this song. Her sister Sammy noted, you know, like, well, we've got her music and we're carrying that with it. But Sidney says in this song, you know, I'm taking you with me. Yeah. And that really, oh, that really hit me hard too. Yeah, same.

Same. Yeah. Wow. Well, I'm so glad that Sammy shared that and that we were able to play that for everyone. And the album that's from is called Space Daddy. There's a whole lot of other music online from Sydney Loud that her family has put up so wonderful that they've done that. Yes, thank you for sharing that with us. Thank you so much, absolutely.

We've got to take another quick break here, but we'll have more music for you when we come back. Let's get to another listener pick. Another song that a lot of people picked is Call Your Mom by Noah Khan and Lizzie McAlpine. I'm going to share a reflection from Amanda in Salem, Massachusetts. The idea of driving through the night to make sure someone is all right and hasn't been overtaken by their depression made me cry my eyes out. You would do whatever you can to make this person know that you love them and are there for them.

And Noah Khan does such a beautiful job, making it feel raw and real in the moment. But then again, the moment bright before it ends, you're most afraid of. Don't you can. any plans I won't let you get the chance They never make them

They're on the line with you the entire night Till you let it out and let it in Miss In the loudest silence If you could see yourself like this If you could see yourself like this You'd never try to You'd never try to.

This song is just incredible. I think they're clearly at a hospital there in the second part of the song. Yeah. You know, hoping for the best. And I think of all the people who wish they could call their mom still, you know. Yeah. And I also think about, I think, with all the people who've either lost people to depression or who've gone through it themselves and been in that other.

side of it, wanting someone to, or needing someone to be that person who'll stay on the phone with him. Yeah. There were lots of other people who, in mentioning this song, talked about the times they stayed up with their friends or they did have to call somebody's mom, you know. But when, in this song, when they keep trying to reassure their friend, there is light at the end of this tunnel. Yeah.

There is hope. You can do this. know, it can feel so impossible at times, you know, when you're going through it. Especially, I love there, you know, the line of don't let this darkness fool you. Yes, that's it. And I think that's such a powerful sort of way to sort of phrase how what's happening in there is not what's happening outside. And it's lying to you. Yeah.

So glad to be able to share this one. And again, our thanks to the people who shared all of these stories. We have, as you can imagine, you got thousands of submissions, way more songs and stories than we could ever share. What we're going to do is take a whole bunch of those songs that we've got. We'll put them in an expanded playlist. So if people want to go to our website or search for it in Apple Music or Spotify, they'll find it songs that hit hard in 2023. We'll put a whole bunch of the other songs that we got. We'll put all these songs, full versions of these songs.

along with a whole bunch of others. And you can cry with us. And you can cry. You can cry with us. And also just celebrate and celebrate life and just how beautiful. It can be. It absolutely can be. It can be a wonderful world too, you know.

Yes. I hope you can all see it that way. Absolutely impossible to pick a song to go out on any one song. You know, but of course we have to. and we could have gone any number of ways, but we've got one that, you know, I don't know, it might not seem like an obvious pick. It's from an artist named Lorraine

and from an album called I Killed Your Dog, which is just an awful album title, but an incredible album too, sounding album. And there's a song called Five to Eight Hours a Day that was picked by a listener named Tomaso in Harlem. I've listened to Tomaso, So describe why they picked this song. And it's hard to exactly know entirely what they're saying because there's a lot that's not being said.

I think. But I think what clicked for me is I was struck by their observations about sort of the rhythms of life. Right. And how music can score the simple pleasure of just being. Yeah. No, I think that this song is such a really interesting. in musically beautiful way of sort of just reflecting on these things. As we've sort of talked about all day,

about what you come upon and you don't have any sort of ability to sort of control one way or the other. Such a great song of just reflecting on life. And letting go, sort of like Sydney Lau was saying in their song, just letting go and embracing this mystery. So we'll go out on this. I'm going to let Tomaso introduce the song, and then we're going to hear it Lorraine's five to eight hours a day. Thanks so much for doing this, Mitra.

Thank you for having me. Yeah, absolutely loved it. This is Tamazo in Harlem. The song for me is five to eight hours a day by Lorraine. And it hit me especially this year because I tried to set myself up for success by making sensible choices in my current transition, which has me reaching for stability. and I get caught up toasting myself sometimes though

and maybe it's because of this fact that I do it but life always reminds you that real change is capital H hard one so I get this album as the summer's ending and the earth tilts and the surface is approaching this inertia has me launching out of the salty water and into the wild open sky It's the churn of everyone picking up pace for the school year to start or Q4 or coming out of the spending phase of party days and into the money-making phase or something. And that's what this song helps me with.

It allows me to pause and feel the churning all around me in this warm sonic bath of weaving, swirling notes and stunning chord changes. like we're in the crefts of some loom.