NYC NOW - October 9, 2023: Headlines

Episode Date: October 9, 2023

When it comes to the issues facing New York, Governor Kathy Hochul says it’s personal. Plus, WNYC’s David Furst and Giulia Heyward discuss a new dating service called “We Met In Real Life” for another installment of our series “I Tried It.”

Welcome to NYC Now, your source for local news in and around New York City from WNYC. I'm Jene Pierre. Thanks for joining us on this holiday. Before we get started, a quick reminder about our special episode from this past weekend. Every Saturday morning for the next five weeks, we'll share an episode of imminent danger, one doctor and a trail of injured women. It's really worth the listen, so check it out if you haven't already. All right, now to Albany. Any good politician draws from their life experiences when they speak to an audience.

But New York Governor Kathy Hokel has a particular way of making things personal. WNYC's John Campbell has that story after the break. On MSNBC's morning jail last month, a panelist asked Governor Hokel about the wave of migrants coming to New York City with their children. I'm a mother. This is personal to me. In August, she cut the ribbon on a child care facility. This is personal to me as a brand new governor. Then there was the time she announced funding to spruce up downtown areas in upstate cities. This is personal to me.

Hockel is New York's first female governor and the first governor from upstate in more than a century. With that comes a unique set of experiences that makes some topics more personal. Since she took office two years ago, Hockel has sprinkled variations of that phrase into her speeches more than two dozen times. according to transcripts from her office. It's often accompanied by an anecdote, drawing from her experience as a working mother or growing up in the Buffalo area, like this one when she was discussing environmental funding.

This is personal to me. I grew up near a steel plant. I saw what happened when Bethlehem Steel or my dad and grandpa worked. They're good paying jobs, but you could see the orange clouds. But then there are times when it's a little less serious, like when she declared war on potholes. This is personal to me.

Or when she cut the wrist. ribbon on a baseball stadium. This is personal to me. Sarada Perry is a former speechwriter for President Obama. She says drawing on personal experience is a way for leaders to connect with their audience. When you're talking about policies and programs, what you're talking about is people. And maybe you are as a leader or as the person speaking, one of those people. And so that can absolutely give you some credibility.

Most elected officials have their go-to lines to connect with voters. President Biden says, What folks. Look, folks. Former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio would often say, Brothers and sisters, brothers and sisters. But for female leaders, crafting a public persona is a tougher needle to thread. That's according to Christina Greer, a political science professor at Fordham University.

She says, Hockel and other women in power face sexism. So they're held to a higher standard. She has to sort of create a larger vision where she's tough, but not too tough, where she intimidates people. She has to be soft, but not too soft, where people don't think that she's a leader. These are all the things that women have to go through when they're running for office. Hokel's office says the governor's work is informed by her personal experience. In a statement, a spokesperson said, quote, New Yorkers know Governor Hokel is one of them,

and she'll continue sharing her story with them every chance she gets. That's WNYC's John Campbell. Dating apps might get all of the attention these days, but you can still meet romantic partners. in real life, and a new speed dating service is looking to take advantage of a renewed interest in face-to-face interaction. A dating service called We Met in Real Life run speed dating events in New York City and recently added new sessions for queer singles. For more, my colleague David first talked with WNYC reporter Julia Hayward for another installment of our series, I Tried It.

On I tried it, you check out new and novel events in the city and report back. So tell us about this new speed dating event. What makes it new and novel? Well, I think during the pandemic, the only way you really could date was on a dating app, right? I mean, people were scared to meet in person for obvious reasons, worried that they were going to contract this virus that we were just learning about at the time. And so what's really interesting about we met IRA. is it kind of feels like it symbolizes us sort of leaving the pandemic or at least the height of

the pandemic because it's people willingly going to a bar and meeting somebody for the first time in person. And let's talk about their new event for queer singles. Why do you think it's selling out so quickly? Did the pandemic and our endless Zoom meetings do something to change the calculation of how we meet people or how we want to meet people? I think that there are two main things happening here. I do think that people got lonely and felt isolated over these past couple years.

And also, I think dating apps get so monotonous. I think people sometimes just want to try something new. And it can be such a struggle to meet somebody on an app and go from talking on this interface on your phone to meeting in real life. Why not get rid of it all together and just skip straight to that step? So start in real life. start in real life, right? Just like our parents did. But also, I think there really aren't a lot of speed dating events that are specifically targeting queer women as well as those who are non-binary and trans mask. And so a lot of speed dating is, you know, very white, very straight. And this was an

opportunity to do something that felt a bit different. What we met IRL queer does is they also reserve a certain amount of tickets for BIPAC individuals. It's just ensuring that it's not a super homogenous space as well. So I think people really feel as if this event is like catering to them. So who is invited to this particular event? Oh gosh. Okay. So before you can even go to the event, you have to sort of apply to go for lack of a better way to say it. There's this Google form that you have to submit. You have to answer all these questions, everything from your name, your pronouns, your gender identity, to what you're looking for, whether that's something casual, friends, a long-term relationship. You have to give a social media handle so they can verify who you are.

And I guess if you pass, you get added to this list of people who will get a link when the tickets drop at a specified time once a month. You pretty much have a couple hours, sometimes less, to get your ticket as soon as they drop. That's how fast it sells out? It really does sell out quickly. Well, the series is called, I Tried It, and Julia, you tried it. So tell us how it works. The premise of each event is pretty simple, right? 40 people show up at a bar and go on dates that last four and a half minutes. Yes.

So you know all the anxiety you feel before you go on a date with a complete stranger, you know, like the stomach churning, you're sweating, you're trying to think of every excuse you can to cancel. That sounds great. Take that and multiply it by however many dates you're going on that night. That's what it felt like. The event took place in Bushwick, which is about 40 minutes from where I live in Brooklyn by train. And so I have a really good friend who's straight who lives near the bar where the speed dating was going to take place. So I went to her place first and she's just sort of like coaching me, giving me a pep talk as I'm like frantically getting ready in her bathroom prepared to go on like multiple first dates.

So how did it go? you know, after, let's say, five, 10, 15 dates, does it get less stressful? Okay, so this is where I think the appeal of speed dating is at. And I'm so happy that you asked me that question. In the same way that I think a really nervous driver feels much more comfortable the more years that they spend on the road, when you're going on date after date after date, I think somewhere between date five and 10, I realize that dating actually isn't that scary. You're really just taking the time to get to know a complete stranger, ask them questions, see if it's the right vibe or not, but it's essentially low stakes. You're just talking to someone. And if it goes great, it's great. But if it goes bad, I mean, that's fine. A lot of dating is just a numbers game. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend about a year ago and pretty much hadn't gone on any date since then. And the idea of jumping back in was really scary. And I think having gone to this event and, you know, sort of forcing myself to go on date after.

date after date made dating itself a lot less scary for me, which was really helpful. It definitely felt like you were sort of exercising that muscle again and again. I did end up going on a couple more dates after I went to the speed dating thing, and I think I was so much more comfortable than had I not had that experience. Was it fun? It was fun in like a jumping off a cliff, blindfolded kind of way. Wow. The adrenaline rush, and I can't believe I did that, and then also getting to

tell your friends about it the next day. That was really fun. But, oh, gosh, I was so nervous. That's WNYC reporter Julia Hayward, talking with my colleague, David First. Thanks for listening to NYC now from WMYC. Catch us every weekday three times a day. I'm Jenae Pierre.

We'll be back tomorrow.