Off Air... with Jane and Fi - A couple of large fries stuck in your cleavage (with Carol Kirkwood)

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

Jane's got trapped wind and Fi's rather upset about it, Fi checked her carbon footprint and the results are revealed AND more animal PR... Plus, everyone’s favourite weather presenter Carol Kirkwood joins them to discuss her new novel ‘Secrets of the Villa Amore’. Follow us on Instagram! @janeandfi If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail].  Assistant Producers: Eve SalusburyTimes Radio Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Come on, you're late. Come on, come on. Jane's got wind. Well, my worry is that maybe some of the lentils weren't quite soaked enough. In which case it might be a long journey home. Just don't go on the north line. Could they clear it, please? Would it be okay if... Could you leave ten minutes after?

I might walk to a different station. Anyway, it's my own fault. I had two drinks as well last night, which is never a good thing. But it's not your fault if the lentils weren't soaked properly. No, I just feel, you know, I've let myself down, Fee. That's what it is. You don't drink during the week, do you? I never drink.

I went out for dinner last night and we sat outside. It was a really lovely evening in London. See, that's the trap I fell into. We were having a pizza and I really, really, really wanted a beer. But I'm very strict with myself. Well, for the same reason. I just can't drink anymore. It just hurts the next day.

And it has hurt all yes day i'm very very sorry to hear that um can i just say thank you to lots of people who suggested we were talking about uh trying to do a personal carbon footprint audit because i wanted somewhere to go where i could find out just how bad a human being i am and lots of people including Tess have pointed me in the direction of GKI zero which is G I K I zero it is a platform that estimates your carbon footprint via a series of questions in which you can give as little or as much information as you want. Well how does it help if you don't give the right information? Well you were right to laugh at me this afternoon when I was doing it because I just got really bored. It took ages.

It did. So boring. But I did discover, after giving quite a lot of information, I am below the global average carbon footprint. Get it right. I'm below the UK. No. No, I am.

I'm well below the UK average, but I'm above the global average. Okay, well congratulations on one level. Yes, but still quite a way to go. So what do you get right? So you have to go through everything. The amount of electrical appliances you've bought this year, the amount of big bulky coats you've bought

this year, how many times you've taken the tube, whether or not you've flown anywhere, have you taken a cruise, how many bags of rubbish do you throw out year how many times to take the tube whether or not you've flown anywhere have you taken a cruise how many bags of rubbish do you throw out how many pets do you have and do they eat pet food that includes red meat oh i know there was one category uh do your pets uh eat insect-based food insect based i know and although it's tempting to lie on those kind of surveys, I cannot pretend that Brian and Barbara are on a solid scorpion diet. A lot of people, I think, will have been sort of upset on Barbara's behalf, really, for the reference last night to her continued incontinence issues. And I think as a way of trying to make it up to Babs, you have posted today... A beautiful picture. A really quite exquisite image of Barbara looking impossibly pompous,

which considering she's often just had a sly pee somewhere she shouldn't, she's taking liberties with her pomposity. But it is a beautiful photograph, actually. It's lovely. Do you remember that look that your little ones, your toddlers used to have? No, when they were having a wee. Because you could clearly see, when they were still in nappies, it's a clear look that a baby has,

which is one of absolute dreamy certainty, isn't it? It's a dream. And then you think, oh, aren't they, oh, oh, having a wee. So it's quite possible that Barbara was having a wee while that picture was taken. It is more than possible. But do like it, because it's a possible that Barbara was having a wee while that picture was taken. It is more than possible. But do like it because it's a very sweet picture. I'll get Eve to pop it up on the What's It, What's It.

But anyway, take the carbon footprint survey because it does make you think, actually. And it's full of really, really useful suggestions. You'll have to take a day off work to do it, but do do it. And you'll be able to bore people with whether you're like Fi or whether you're like me and can't be arsed doing the survey. Millie says, this penny-farthing chat has gone on for some time now and you're right, Millie, and it's going to stop. Yep. It's going to stop. But she does say, I just wanted to write in to tell you that a lady in my village rides a unicycle. Now, I don't want to be judgmental,

says Millie. Millie, you can be judgmental here because, believe me, I'm judgmental all the time. Millie says, I don't want to be judgmental. Well, none of us want to be judgmental, but it sort of slips out, doesn't it? Anyway, I don't want to be judgmental, says Millie, but every time I see her, I just roll my eyes. Mainly because she rides around with a look on her face that says, yes, what you're seeing is correct. Look at my excellent balance not only is riding a unicycle on the street slightly obnoxious but surely it's a hazard there are no brakes how do you stop suddenly anyway that's all says millie who is a woman

after my own heart the judgmental thing i make a judgment in my head i don't usually say it out loud every single time i see a deliveroo going to a house before seven o'clock at night. If I see one at 8.30 in the morning, I just think, and if it's McDonald's, coming to a house at 8.30 in the morning, I'm afraid I do make a judgement in my head and I just think, there in that house, there's a slatter.

Possibly two. That's what I think. a judgment in my head and i just think there in that house there's a slatter possibly two that's what i think well uh i mean you're perfectly entitled to have your place your bar wherever you like in your life oh i yes i know that yeah but i put it to you sister that what if it was a retired female broadcaster who had just jenny mur Ordering a Maccy D's. Dare you. I was thinking more Sue McGregor. Oh, I don't think either of them would do that. No, but just imagine it might be you in ten years' time. Oh, listen, what I'm actually saying,

I'm owning my own... The fact that I do make these judgements. I don't like myself for doing it. And I certainly am no stranger to a delivery, I can assure you. But there's just something about... I can can't help my little suburban judgmental voice in my head says that's disgusting that's disgusting why don't they just make some toast that's what I think not right that I think that but that's what I think

salted porridge but also I think you could quite cogently argue Jane that McDonald's breakfast menu is its finest part of the day. Do you know, I don't think I've ever had it. Ash Browns? No. The McMuffin? No, never. Oh, okay. Well, give it a go and then see whether or not... They don't do McFlurries before 11, do they? See whether or not you're

absolutely dying for it whilst in your toweling robe at 7.30. The temperature's been so low the last couple of mornings, I'm back in my toweling robe. Are you? Over the wincy at 7.30. The temperature's been so low the last couple of mornings, I'm back in my toweling robe. Are you? Over the wincy at nighty. The wincy at nighty.

A couple of large fries stuck in your cleavage. I'm just... What an image, kids. Wincy at... I mean, it was... Well, it wasn't... It was very dangerous, winiette, wasn't it? It was so flammable.

Yes, so flammable. And if you put that near an open fire, oh, my goodness. But Winsiette, it was the material of our childhood nightwear and certainly our nannies. Yeah, they always wore Winsiette. So you'd have a nylon nightie and then you'd get into nylon sheets under a nylon underdown. That's right.

And by the time you tossed and turned a little bit, the friction was just insane. Hours of fun. Powered the whole house. God, I do remember the debate in our house that raged for weeks about whether my nan was going to try a duvet. And in the end she did. But oh my God. Jane, can I stop you there? In our household, continental quilt.

Sorry, well, I can still hear her saying, oh, I don't know. I don't know, Maureen. I could try it once. Do your parents have a duvet now? Yes, they do. See, my mum doesn't. She doesn't do duvets. So when the kids go and stay with her, she's never done duvet now. Yes, they do. See, my mum doesn't. She doesn't do duvets.

So when the kids go and stay with her, she's never done duvets. They have sheets and blankets. Sheets, blankets. They are bemused. Yes. It's a whole world of bedding. World of bedding.

Do you know what I quite like? When I go and stay with mum, there's something so deliciously old-fashioned about it, actually. I really like it. And a blanket is, a very, very heavy blanket is really, really comforting. Is it? Yes. So there's quite a thing now. Oh, the heavy blankets. Yeah, if you do struggle to sleep, or actually if you have a bit of anxiety, those weighted

blankets. Yes, the weighted blankets. Yeah, they're meant to be really terrific. So, I mean, you can either do a weighted blanket or you could just borrow some of my mum's. If anyone wants to buy or borrow, I'm sure it wouldn't be buy, borrow one of Fee's

blankets. Jane and Fee at Times.Radio. Correction Corner. From a loyal listener in the US, Sarah, hello Sarah. On Monday, you read an email from a listener complaining that Trinity College is the only university in Ireland with which Americans are familiar. While that's probably true,

the listener referred to Berkeley as an Ivy League school in her email. It is not. It is actually part of the public University of California system. We'll get this straight at some point. I mean, it's interesting, Sarah, because a lot of people, and they're wrong, think that the biggest and most prestigious

higher education establishments in the UK are Oxford and Cambridge. And that's just nonsense. It's absolute rubbish. It's the University of Birmingham, closely followed by the University of Kent at Canterbury. Yes. And that's the truth of the matter. So we spread that message loud and clear. Don't be in any way beguiled by this nonsense that you get about Oxford and Cambridge. Utter try. Margaret has said, Hello both, you reminded me of my irritation

at the positive spin one woman put on her successful midlife career change when doing a whole go for it spiel on Twitter. Things have gone very well for her, which is great. But she was disappointingly defensive when someone pointed out that it is much easier to change careers when you've got contacts in the world you want to get into, as she did. More and more, I realised that this is what private school and the middle class system of privilege buys. We need to build old boys networks for those who don't know myriads of publishers and scientists. It's one of the reasons the fabulous charities Arts Emergency and Scene, that's S-C-E-N-E, and Heard exists.

Love the podcast. It's a real lifeline. Lack of positivity, very much a plus. Well, thank you for that, Margaret, and also for pointing that out, because that is so true. You know, if you come from a position of strength and that's where you find yourself in your midlife of course it's much easier to go what would I like to do and you've got enough energy and possibly money in the bank to go and do it so it is a point well worth making and Jill Hammond just on the same kind of tip about changing direction in your early 40s says I achieved my English degree then teaching qualification in my early 40s after bringing up four children and following the death of my elder son, who was only 14 when he died of leukaemia.

Studying, teaching, then specialising in autism has allowed me to create a purpose in my life when grief could so easily have swallowed me up. When life doesn't go to plan, make another one. Well, Jill, that's such a beautifully simple, concise way of saying it. But boy, you know, that must have taken a huge amount of effort to do. So good on you for doing that. And, you know, you say love the chuckles in the podcast. I hope you've got some chuckles in your life too. Yeah, I very much hope so.

But I also am heartened to hear from Margaret, our previous correspondent, that positivity isn't necessary for her to enjoy a podcast. Sometimes just carping a negativity is no bad thing. Very much so. Yeah. I have been galvanised all day by the image of the otter pup having a health check. Oh, it's so sweet.

It's in The Times. And in fact, I cut it out and I left it by my computer. We have computers in our studio. Just don't want to boast, but we do, don't we? Oh. Yeah, we do. We both have. We have one each. We left the BBC abacus behind. We did.

It's now currently being used by both Nick Robinson and Sarah Montagu. And I propped up the image of the otter pup having his or her health check just to cheer me up. Otters don't get anywhere near the publicity of beavers. And it's wonderful to see an otter just occupying a bit of newspaper space here. So why do you think that is? Because only this morning when I wandered past a room in the East Wing and Times Radio was on,

they were discussing, Matt Chorley was discussing some kind of beaver reintroduction. There's always a beaver initiative. You never hear about the stoat. No, you don't. Or the weasel. No. So, come on. Get never hear about the stoat. No, you don't. Or the weasel. No. Come on. Get some

bloody good publicity for yourselves. Do a charity thing. There must be something. Get a better PR person. Just up your game. Because the beavers are all over the news. But also, Jane, how many times can you reintroduce a beaver? I mean, there can't be any part of the British Isles

that hasn't got its own beaver population. I was also heartened to hear and see in all the newspapers today that planking is really good for you. Now, planking is something that I can only do on the machine at my Pilates. But I do, I'm so empowered when I've done a couple of planks. I feel a new woman. You just got to unpack that a little bit for people who may not know very much about the Pilates, as you said, reformer machine-y thingies. What does that mean, Jane? Well, it means that you sort of lie down on a bench type thing.

Your hands go on a bar and your feet go up against something at the end and you put your bum down as low as you can and you go backwards and forwards, you slide backwards and forwards. So it's not, whereas I think planking just on the ground is substantially harder. So I think planking on the ground,

you just stay very, very still, don't you? Yes. So you're moving when you're planking. Yes, I'm going backwards and forwards. I'm not surprised you've got some sharp stomach pains. Wow. And how long do you do that for? Because the article's about if you can do wall squats

and planks for about two minutes at a time, I think, what is it, you're going to live to 150? Well, I wouldn't want to live to be 150, but I can plank up and down about, I don't know, you do about 10 of them. It's all right, it's quite good. Then I move on to the elephant. Oh, yes.

What does that mean? Well, it doesn't prevent wind, I'll tell you that now. God. I'm going to complain to the canteen about those levels. It's like a ferment is going on in my digestive system okay now who is our guest today we have got to call a relatively early end to today's proceedings okay i've been very good i've battled on but okay who is our big guest who's our big guest today our guest today was fantastic carol kirk, who I think everybody

who's ever watched The Weather after a new... Have you ever watched The Weather? After a news bulletin in the United Kingdom will probably have seen Carol delivering a weather bulletin at some stage. Although she's been very much the queen of the early morning

forecast on BBC Breakfast now. i couldn't believe this since 1997. wow and if you're wondering what time does a breakfast weather lady get up rest assured journalist of the year garvey was absolutely on her game in spite of the digestive issue and i asked her exactly what time her alarm went off probably my moment of the year so far she was in to talk about a book that she's written. So she's also a best-selling author. She is.

And this is her third book. It's called Secrets of Villa Amore. Yes, and I should say that Carol appears, to all intents and purposes, on the telly to be a lovely, lovely human being. And I think we both say that we hadn't met her before, before today, had we? No.

And she genuinely appeared to be that person. Yeah, she didn't disappoint at all. She was really delightful. Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed. And also what was so lovely, Jane, because sometimes you do think famous people who get book deals, because it's not their first career, it's, you know... An adjunct.

It's an adjunct, it's a luxurious add-on, that sometimes it's not that they're not dedicated to their writing or they don't discover that they love writing but it's definitely not the place where they are absolutely effervescent about the joy of doing it but but carol is she clearly adores writing yes has come to it relatively late in life and absolutely bloody aced it yeah she has completely aced it and it clearly means a lot to her. You'll hear in the interview that she puts a lot of work into these books. So she has written three and you'll find out about the third one in this interview and much else besides.

So where do we begin? We begin with the all-important question. Carol Kirkwood, BBC Breakfast weather host. What time do you get up? Quarter to three in the morning. Yeah, that's very early. The look on your face told everything I needed to know. So 2.45am, you are getting up. And is it always with a song in your heart?

No. I usually crash into the wardrobe when I get out of bed. Who put that there? Of course, it's been there for donkey's years. So no, I hate my alarm clock going off. But as soon as I've had a shower and I'm out, I'm fine. Okay. Now, I think the cutometer was absolutely raging this morning

because you were sent... I mean, they all crawl to you. They don't even let you just go to the studio. Today, you were sent to Leamington Spa with the OB truck, presumably, to look at what? Guide dog puppies. Now there was a reason for that because a couple of years ago I was at the Chelsea Flowers show

and there was a guide dog there. She was nine months old at the time, absolutely perfect. She lay beside me, I stroked her whilst I presented the weather and then she saw her handler and so she took off at the rate of knots. And the reason I didn't let go of the lead was because it was the first day of the Chelsea Flower Show. It was press day, it was a Monday, and some of the gardens hadn't been judged. They're pristine, aren't they? Absolutely. Could you imagine if the dog had gone and started digging one of them up?

I'd have been in such hot water. But this dog was called Flash, and she's just had a litter of nine puppies oh my goodness they were adorable hopefully little guide dogs in the future they were leaving today right from the guide dog centre just outside Leamington Spa and they were heading off to their puppy raisers for a year that's where they'll be socialised you know taught to to go into cafes and sit down or restaurants or go on buses that kind of thing and then they come back they leave the family and they have further training to see if there'll be a mum or if there'll be a guide dog yeah i honestly think um that when you see a guide dog at work

they are an everyday miracle aren't they i'm absolutely captivated by what they're able to do it's extraordinary it really is when you see them even just sitting at the side of the road, you may be driving past in a car, you slow down to let them cross. They don't. They wait until all danger has passed and then they cross. They're amazing. And they really can change and do change people's lives.

Yeah. Now, you are known, of course, for your work on the BBC Breakfast Show, which you have done for, is it 1997 you started? 25 years ago. Yeah, OK, 25 years ago. Is it fair to say, and let's just cut to the chase here, you are something of a sex symbol for the over 80s?

No, and I mean that in a really nice way. My ex-father-in-law, still fond of him, he was a big fan of yours, Carol. Well, he still is. Is he married? Oh, very much so, yes. But you were a constant theme. You know, what you were wearing, where you'd gone.

No, no, it's just, but I don't think he was alone because you are a very important part of a lot of people's lives, aren't you? I know you're aware of this. I can honestly say I have never, ever thought of myself in those terms. But I'm in a privileged position and I love my job which is what makes it easy getting up at that time of day yeah it's good fun yes and is it tv that you were passionate about or was it weather or was it the combination of the two combination of the two but I've had to select one it would be the weather the weather changes all

the time I mean just look at what's happening around the world at the moment and it's fascinating we live in an island so our weather is very contrary for want of a better word and i just love it i just love it yeah okay well we'll talk more about weather in a minute you are here officially to talk about the book so we do need to get on to that because your publicist will not be a happy woman uh this is called secrets of the villa amore your previous books under Under a Greek Moon and The Hotel on the Riviera. There's a theme developing here. Why haven't you written a nice book set in Britain, or more specifically, Scotland? Because the first one, I didn't want to set it in Scotland or any of my characters to be Scottish because I didn't want anybody to think

this was my story. So my first one started in Ireland and then it moved to Hollywood and then to Greece. But I tend to write about places that I have visited. So it's escapism. And I tend to go to these places in the summer on holiday myself. So Greece to the south of France and more recently the Amalfi Coast, which is what the secrets of the Villa Amore is about and where it's set. So writing about where I've been is important because then I can really visualise what it's like. I can smell the flowers. For example, the Amalfi Coast is famous for lemons, for example. So you know what it's like.

You know how bright it is. You know how the sun sparkles on the sea, just like diamonds twinkling. And you know what the houses look like, what the foliage and the scenery looks like. So if I can write that and make my readers feel like they can see it, they can imagine it because it's been clearly written, then I've succeeded. And then I'll start working on my characters. Okay, so your books are about transporting people to a place that you've loved.

Yes. And that you've known. Yeah, pure escapism. And I read this book from top to bottom. Start to finish. That's it. Thank you very much. Happy to help. And she is a help from start to finish. And you've got quite a lot of, you've got some brooding, handsome men.

You have got, there are some secrets lurking, it turns out. And best of all, there's an approaching wedding. And you sense right from the beginning that the groom, perhaps not me, might be as fully committed to the nuptials as his bride. And there's all that excitement generated by it. So it's a hubbub. It's in a beautiful place. And I can imagine somebody taking it with them on holiday and thinking, oh, great, this is a place I can just sink into. Jane, will you be my agent? Well, I could be,

but I'm relatively occupied. Although Fia would be quite happy to get rid of me for a bit. You can have her on Wednesdays and Thursdays, Carol. Is this the book, the sort of, you write the sort of, I get the feeling that you write the sort of books that you'd read. Absolutely. That's the kind of book I would read on holidays. So it's something that won't challenge me, but it will interest me. It's not straightforward. I like jeopardy in my books as well. So you may get to page 10 and think, oh, I know how this is going to end. They will end up with that person and they're going to get there through this means.

But that's not necessarily the case. So the wedding in this book might not be whom you think it's going to be. It's married. It might be, but it might not be. There's a long and winding road to quote a song before we actually get there. And there is a lot of jeopardy. There are some red herrings in it as well. And in this particular book, there's a little bit of darkness. So there's the mafia in it, in part of it as well. I've really enjoyed doing that.

Yeah, I could tell. The villains in it, whoa, bring them on. I just love that kind of thing. It's so liberating when you write because you create characters that just don't exist. You give them a life, a personality, a voice, a look and a career or otherwise. You take them where you want them to go. And when you finish the book, you're saying goodbye to friends.

And it's quite sad. Do you think that you might go even darker in subsequent books if you've enjoyed creating the villain? No, I think you should i think you should have carol kirkwood the sunshine books and then you should have carol kirkwood the dark menace oh you never know you never know fee i might go that way i've already done the skeleton if you like of book four and it not dark, but it does have a lot of secrets and twists and turns. Is it set in Scotland? No. It's set in Venice.

Oh, Carol, come on. But it's escapism. You know, if you're not going on summer holidays somewhere, you want to be taken, you want to be transported somewhere glamorous. And what's wrong with a bothy up a glen, for goodness sake? It's a little burnt chili. You grew up in a beautiful

part of scotland i didn't you certainly did oh my goodness i love where i come from it's a little village in the northwest highlands called motor yeah and it's famous for various things such as it's monster who's a relation of nessie she's called morag i'm really glad you mentioned morag because i was sort of doing a little bit of research, we'll be surprised, first thing this morning about you. And this cropped up and several people online have written some relatively learned bits of material suggesting it's far more likely that there is a monster in that loch than in Loch Ness.

Well, Loch Morag is actually the deepest freshwater loch in the UK and it runs into the shortest freshwater river in the UK as well, River Moorer. So it is quite possible. It's very deep. It's very dark. It's very black. How deep is very deep? I should have this at the tip of my fingers and I don't. No, don't worry. I'll look it up. But that's fascinating. If it's, I mean, what would it be? Kind of probably below a thousand. Yes.

Yeah, I would have thought so. Yes, definitely below 1,000. Although we've disgraced ourselves already once today. I'm going to check a fact. Yeah, we carry on. We got some facts very badly wrong earlier on, Carol. So, yeah, I mean, it must have been. I think your mum and dad ran a hotel.

That's right. You've got a lot of siblings as well. So it suggests to me that you had a high old time. Was it like that? Yes. And I didn't appreciate it at the time as you don't when you're a child so i would go to school primary school come home uh get into my swimming costume pair of shorts t-shirt join my wee sister and some of our friends and we'd

cycle off to the beach or to lochmorer we then go for a swim come back watch blue peter homework supper bath bed and we took it for granted and there were lots of woods and are still lots of woods in that part of the world as well so we'd go out in the autumn with dad when the hotel closed down it was seasonal and we go collecting nuts and things i mean how idyllic it does it does sound incredible but at the time it was just what we did we didn't think anything more of it and having been back up more regularly, more recently, oh my goodness, it's beautiful. The beaches, again, that's something else that Mordor is famous for. It's silver sands. And if you know the movie Local Hero with Burt Lancaster, the beach scenes are actually filmed in that area. And they're gorgeous when you have a handful of sand it just trickles through your fingers it's that soft it's beautiful it sparkles in the sunshine and we do get sunshine it's like barbados when it's sunny and yet carol you've never set a book there's still time there is

absolutely wonderful uh 1020 feet that is the depth the depth of the lock. Okay. Well, that's good. That's very, very deep. That is deep. So when do you write, bearing in mind your alarm goes off 2.45? What's your schedule? It's not regimented by any stretch. So if I have an idea, I dictate it into my phone, and the phone is brilliant, or iPad, because you don't have to laboriously write things out. And you know that expression, if you want something done, give it to a busy person and they will fit it into their schedule. That's what I do. I definitely work better under pressure. I constantly work to a collapsing timeframe anyway with my television job.

What is that? Sorry, what do you mean? You're against the clock? Yes, totally. I've always got deadlines. I'm on at a specific time and I've got a specific duration and I'm being counted out all the time. So I may be told I've got three minutes, I've got two minutes, I've got one minute, five, four, and so on, finish and zero. So I'm always working to some form of deadline. And when I was a student, I would cram at the end. I wasn't one of these people that could plan to study for months before an exam. I'd be out doing something else. So maybe two days before an exam, I'd be thinking,

holy smoke, I've got an exam in economics in two days and I've done nothing. So cram, cram, cram, cram, night and day. And then I'd be fine, just get on with it. So I like working under pressure so to answer your question Jane I do it all over the place I will do it when I'm out walking um I'll come home and then maybe on a Friday when I'm not working at the BBC I will then construct something or a Saturday or a Sunday or maybe all three if I've got a deadline looming right okay so you are your it does sound as though you have your way of doing it

and you're going to keep on because it really suits you. Yes. And did anybody try to dissuade you from writing? Not at all. No, they didn't. I mean, there has been, I think it's fair to say, a spate of celebrity authors. And I have to say, on the whole,

they have been tremendously successful. Is there much competition? Oh, there is lots of competition. What about Judge Rinder, for example? Yes, yes. Is he much competition? Oh, there is lots of competition. What about Judge Rinder, for example? Yes, yes. Is he a friend of yours? I've met him and he's a really lovely gent. Yeah. But I don't look at it like that. I'm not writing for that reason. I'm not writing to be the best. I would love to be the best, but that's not my aim. I'm writing because I love it and I really enjoy writing. And I'm so grateful to everyone.

And this is a brilliant opportunity to say thank you to anybody that has spent their hard-earned cash buying and reading one of my books. Yeah, just coming along with you on that trip. Yes. But people will be wondering, how do you become a TV weather presenter? So you went to something I've not heard of, the BBC's Secretarial Reserve. That's because I'm a lot older than you, Jane. You're about two years older than me. I came along with Mary and Joseph, I think,

but I wasn't Jesus. It used to be a thing in the BBC where it was like a temporary agency with secretarial skills and production assistant skills so that you could slot into any programme and cover leave because, as you both know, the BBC has different sort of things that are specific to the BBC. So it might be departments or words that we use

or abbreviations that we use. And if you've got somebody that can just slot into that job tomorrow and pick up and not have to have it all explained, then you're more productive immediately. And that's what you were. You were a member of that reserve. Yes. So can you put that down on your CV under languages?

You can do BBC speak. Loving your work. I mean, how long did you last there before thinking I think I'd like to be a bit more front of house quite a long time I wanted in my childhood remember I said that I used to love watching Blue Peter my mother was a school teacher and our education was of paramount importance to my parents, as was our television viewing. So we weren't allowed to watch just anything. It was Blue Peter and Newsround and that was it. You didn't watch Magpie?

No. No, I didn't either. We didn't even have ITV when I was growing up. Oh good, I am glad to hear that, Carol. It's very common. It's all the channel. So carry on. We were hearing about your career, Carol.

Yes, so that was really important, education was. And I wanted to be a Blue Peter presenter because they looked like they were having a ball. All the expeditions they went on, the elephant, famous elephant in the studio, the Christmas specials, the things that they made. I thought this is glorious. So I wrote to Biddy Baxter when I was 12 and asked, how do I become a Blue Peter presenter? And she basically said, get yourself a degree and then get back in touch. But then in my class at school, there were only eight of us.

That was a total class. In my whole school, there were about 30 pupils from primaries one to seven. So it was small. So I was a big fish in a small pool. By the time I graduated, I was a minnow in an ocean. So my confidence wasn't as it had been as a child. So I wasn't confident enough to go in front of a camera in those days. But eventually, the BBC also has a training department where they train floor managers,

presenters, sometimes directors, production assistants, and so on. So I ended up being a stooge presenter on that. When things were happening all around me, things were going wrong and we were doing record as live programmes. So it was pretend again. It wasn't going out live, but you would record it as if it was. Yes. And I learnt screeds from that, like talking to time,

not laughing at somebody tripping over something in the studio or dropping something, you know, that kind of thing. And it was a really good training ground to later on in life become a presenter. And the meteorological training came in when exactly? So I joined the American Weather Channel, first of all, and had meteorological training. I'm not sure I said it, so don't worry. No, you said. There with them and then when they pulled out of Europe I then joined the Met Office because the BBC were advertising

for weather presenters on the news channel. It used to be called News 24 in the olden days and as a result I had to have four auditions and then before you were allowed on television you had to study meteorology at the Met College and pass exams and then when you started you weren't allowed loose in television even then you were online so everything you did was monitored until the BBC felt you were good

enough and new enough to actually go on with conviction. So where do you stand on I mean the real extreme weather that we're seeing all over Europe at the moment and in other parts of the world as well, I should say? And Fi mentioned earlier the incredible, it's the highest water temperature ever in the Mediterranean. There's one in Florida today, which is over 100 degrees. And also the Mediterranean. The Mediterranean is roughly five degrees warmer than we'd expect it to be. So at its top temperature, it's 32 degrees.

Right. That's pretty warm. degrees warmer than we'd expect it to be so at its top temperature it's 32 degrees right that's that's pretty warm and the temperatures around the med as well if we talk about the med first of all um have been phenomenal and the wildfires fanned by the wind as well over the next few days the temperatures are going to come back down lastly in greece um to where they should be at this time of year and although we might get another period of heat, we don't expect it to be as intense as this one. And this one was fairly extensive as well. Even temperatures like on the coast of Algeria, on the coast,

bear in mind sea breezes will keep things that bit cooler, were 50 degrees this week, inland 55. You can't actually imagine that. Now, some countries are geared up with air conditioning. We're not. So but nonetheless, you go out, that is hot. And if it's a dry heat, it's really debilitating and wildfires are a real risk. When do you think we, the audience, might change our attitude to our weather here because this summer we are still saying oh god it's a bit miserable isn't it and and actually quite possibly we should be saying

thank goodness it is like this here because we can actually carry on living yes that's very true um i think personally i like the four seasons excuse me but we're seeing less and less of the four seasons they're all kind of blending one seeing less and less of the four seasons. They're all kind of blending one into the other these days. We have milder winters and we are definitely seeing more extreme weather. And it's a really good question for you as to when we'll change our attitude, because still now we still, I see from the correspondence that I get, we want a summer. I get lots of people writing in saying, when are we going to have a summer? We don't want the extreme heat that they've got on the continent at the

moment. And I absolutely adhere to that. We don't for a whole host of reasons. But we want something more representative of what we would expect as our average summer. So we would want temperatures on an average summer or expect them between about 25, 28, maybe a little bit higher than that. But we're not getting that at the moment. The best we're going to get in the next couple of days is 24, maybe 25. And that will be in the southeast. It won't be everywhere. No, it's so difficult.

I know we've got to let you go, which is a real shame. But do you actually now think about expressions like a nice day? Do you actually consider what that means? Yes. Yes first of all it's subjective yeah as you mentioned fee what's a nice day to me might not be a nice day to you somebody might hate the heat and like this cool weather but yes absolutely you try just to deliver the facts but we're human too and if i'm only looking it's sunny you hear yourself saying it's a beautiful start to the day because when it's sunny you feel more positive but you don't want to be roasted at the same time that was Carol Kirkwood her book is called Secrets of the Villa

Amore and if you're thinking will there be too much smut um is there not enough smut well that there isn't really smart there's a suggestion of raunch on more than one occasion that's all i can take these days there's a lot of longing you know simple innocent longing so i think a lot of people will really love this book and it would be perfecto on an italian holiday yeah and i like what she said jane about our perceptions changing about weather. I don't speak Italian, but I thought that... You've given it a very good shot.

...advanced me. Yeah. I think we knew that. I liked what she said about the weather, Jane, because it's important that we change our perceptions, you know, from just, let's just hope for a perfect English summer. I can't ever remember a perfect English summer.

It's either too hot, too cold, too dreary, too glum, too something. And that's our climate and we should be grateful for it. We have got an exciting extra podcast this week because we are doing the inaugural Book Club podcast where we're going to talk about Valerie Perrin's Freshwater for Flowers. Thank you so much to everybody who's emailed in. Yes, I'm really delighted that people have taken the time to email

and a variety of views, I gather, and also some voice notes as well and your comments on Insta. Everything is hugely appreciated, so thank you. And actually, it's just made us think, well, we're doing the right thing, this is what people want. Yeah, and it's really good as well because Jane didn't really enjoy the book and I really enjoyed the book, so there is a wide gap between us

and I think lots and lots of people are in each camp, so we've got a lot to talk about. So we'll look forward to doing that. We're going to record it tomorrow and then will it drop on the Friday, Eve? Yeah, lovely. Friday bonus. Gosh, that's your weekend made, isn't it? And then the

excitement will continue because the whole shtick of the book club is that you're going to suggest the books. You and I aren't going to suggest the book club is that you're going to suggest the books. You and I aren't going to suggest them. You, listener, are going to suggest them. So after we've talked about Fresh Water for Flowers, it's all up to you. You can all suggest the next one. You want a thriller, don't you?

I want Ken Follett. No, you can't ask people to deliver you what you want. No, can't have that, actually, because apart from anything else, his books are about 700 pages long. Well, they are, and also we've booked him as a guest in September anyway. Yes, I can't be sure. You must have a new book out. No, can't have that actually because apart from anything else, his books are about 700 pages long. Well, and also we've booked him as a guest in September anyway. Yes, I can't be so, you must have a new book out. Yeah, exciting times. For me, that's the year made.

You can take it on to your sun lounger. Yes, wow. Will I be able to have it? It's in the drawer. It's in the drawer? You're joking, Eve. Right, I'm going. Bye! Okay, so can we just make sure that you're all right to travel? Do you think you'll make it home?

I literally want to get into the fetal position. No, that's bad. It's quite savage wind. I was trying to sort of lean to one side and crunch myself up. It's savage wind, the follow-on band from Savage Garden? Yes, that would be it. I think that's another... That's a Carol Kirkwood book.

The book she will set in Scotland she can call Savage Wind. You can have that one, Carol. No, she was lovely. Thank you very much for bearing with. Jane and Fia at Times.Radio. OK, good luck. No, actually, I say good luck to everyone else.Radio. Okay, good luck. No, actually I say good luck to everyone else

on the network. Oh, shut up! Bye! Well done for getting to the end of another episode of Off Air with Jane Garvey and Fee Glover. Our Times Radio producer is Rosie Cutler and the podcast executive producer is Henry Tribe. And don't forget, there is even more of us every afternoon on Times Radio. It's Monday to Thursday, three till five. You can pop us on when you're pottering around the house or heading out in the car on the school run or running a bank thank you for joining us and we hope you can join us again

on off air very soon don't be so silly running a bank i know lady listener sorry