Off Air... with Jane and Fi - Comfortable and cosy, or sexy and scintillating?

Episode Date: February 9, 2024

It's Friday and we're in your feed....it can only mean one thing: a very special, emails only, episode of Off Air.Jane and Fi talk pet cams and late in life friendships; and they answer the nation's burning question: can you still buy beef consommé? Plus, Jane gives some unsolicited ramekin advice, involving nuts.If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram! @janeandfi  Assistant Producer: Megan McElroy Times Radio Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

VoiceOver describes what's happening on your iPhone screen. VoiceOver on. Settings. So you can navigate it just by listening. Books. Contacts. Calendar. Double tap to open. Breakfast with Anna from 10 to 11. And get on with your day. Accessibility. There's more to iPhone. So Nancy goes to stay at the luxury pet hotel out in the kind of borders of Enfield.

When you're away. When I'm away. So you get to sample the delights of some wonderful Mediterranean location. She goes to Enfield when you're away when I'm away so you get to sample the delights of some wonderful Mediterranean location she goes to Enfield she does but it really is luxurious so you can download an app so if I wanted to I could watch her all weekend because there's an individual camera in her individual lodgings and she takes her own bed with her, very much like the king. Yes. And she has her own food and she just runs in now. All the people who run it are so lovely.

So she really loves it up there, but it's ridiculous. Yes, well, I would imagine it is. But you can indulge yourself with a bit of Nance cam if you get bored on your trip. But I think it's a bit unfair that it's not a two-way camera because I think she'd like to see me. Oh, do yourself a favour.

Oh, come on. It should be great. And then she could, you know, she could broaden her horizons. She could effectively come on a little trip with me. I'm trying to think what cat cam would be like. Realistically, it would just show a long image of your cat asleep in a number of different locations. And then a bit of licking.

Yeah. Sleep again. She is having another go at her privates. Oh, and she's so tired, she's having another kip. So where does Dora go when you take one of your sojourns aboard? I have a dear friend and neighbour who usually bribes one of her kids to come in and make sure she's got enough water and

kibble for the duration. She doesn't really mind when we go away. Although, I say that, but then when we got back after Christmas, it was noticeable that she spent a lot of time on my lap the first evening. Oh, I'm sure she misses you. I think she does. Of course they do. Of course they do.

They must do. Yeah. So this is all because I am going away next week. So Jane is doing a show. Looking emotional. On her own. On my own. And the podcast with the other Jane. The other Jane's coming in next week. Okay.

So let's be honest. The other Jane's extraordinarily smutty. On the smutometer I register about three out of ten, Markerins is like a twelve. She is. She's spinal tap. She really is. I'm very much Emma Dale.

So if you've if you want to indulge the other Jane, then you know what you can do. It's still Jane and Fee at times.radio, but the other Jane will see what you come up with. So obviously when you were away last time round, I thought I would entertain her with stories of my aromatherapy yoga. But of course, you know, she's done like my fire orgasm,

primal scream, naked. In a yurt. Yeah. In Nebraska. Yeah. yurt. Yep. In Nebraska. Yep. At dawn. Yeah. Yoga with a lavender spritz means nothing.

It means absolutely nothing to the woman. She did that before she was out of her teens. At primary school. Yeah. Anyway. So, but don't worry. We're continuing to operate at a very pedestrian level here. Certainly suits me.

And Fee is going away next week. But rest assured, there'll be some sort of service provided. So dig in. Right, now this is an email special. You should never call anything special. You should imply, without using the word special, that everything you do is special. Shall I start with this maybe laugh out

loud jane it's from nancy uh spelling it a different way n-a-s-n-a-n-s-i uh i was chuckling away during the week when you mentioned your fear of driving around the arc to triumphant it brought back a lovely memory many years ago my beloved mum and i went to spend christmas with my brother in northern france and decided on an adventure to travel south to paris for the new year i mean that is a bit of an adventure can i say why oh my word i was driving mum's trusty nissan micro oh my god it's always a good start to a story jane she was navigator i agreed to drive strictly on the agreement that she wouldn't navigate me anywhere near said monument to which she agreed these were the days of a scruffy map no sat nav we were pleasantly tootling along the wide streets and came to a junction i asked what is that huge

structure up ahead you're ahead of us here to which he replied oh i'm so sorry love that's the arc to triumph we must have made a wrong turning but isn't it lovely we coped but ye gods the number of lanes all unmarked and we survived but what was funnier was that during our drive home we negotiated the peripherique in the early hours of the morning luckily traffic was light and we made good progress that is a terrifying road as well after some time mum pointed at all the signs at the entrances to each tunnel which said allume vote for and turned to me and said people must waste so many cigarettes driving around the periphery. She thought the sign meant extinguish your cigarettes.

Oh, how we laughed. Long departed and deeply missed, she and I had the most wonderful eccentric adventures together. Thank you for bringing back such lovely memories. Absolutely our pleasure. And I wonder how many other people thought they were being told to extinguish their cigarettes before driving through a tunnel. And good to know that the Nissan Micra was your vehicle of adventure.

Yes. It's quite a small car, isn't it, Melissa? It's a very small car. I've got a feeling that it's a car I've certainly lusted after in my time because it's probably quite parkable, even by those of us who struggle with that particular um how would you describe parking necessary activity if you've passed your driving test yes it is it is uh it's one of the many reasons i don't drive all that much just because sometimes you have to stop you can't just keep on driving you've got to stop somewhere and um i find

that quite challenging keep out of my way! That will now give me nightmares. I will have a dream tonight about finding myself at the Arc de Triomphe. The peripherique. In a very small car.

Yeah, or the peripherique. Peripheriques are, they are bigger than British motorways, aren't they? Well, I think they are, aren't they? And I mean,

I find them, I find driving on the other side of the road really, really terrifying. It's just wrong. Yeah, constantly, constantly have to think, am I on the other side of the road really, really terrifying. Just wrong. Yeah, constantly, constantly have to think, am I on the right side of the road?

I just find the peripheriques really frightening because in France, they just don't seem to have the same length of exit and entrance lanes. So the people coming on, and this is motorways as well, in mainland Europe. The continent. You know, the, what do you call them? You know, the roads.

Slip roads. The slip roads, thank you. The slip roads, they only seem to be about 100 yards long, whereas our slip roads can be delicious. They give you time to build up a bit of speed. Absolutely. You know, put your foot down, change gear three times. I don't want to suddenly arrive on the motorway.

No. I don't know. I think if I ever were to drive in france i would have to be in contact with the french government and just ask them to remove all other road users from the roads for the duration of my stay i think a slow cavalcade a motorcade would be a very good idea for you yeah just take the train love for god's sake yes um actually i quite fancy that it's funny you mentioned that i would love to take the the train down to the south of France

because you can do that now, can't you? You can. All the way. So a colleague of ours told me about an amazing train journey he had done from New York down to Texas in America. Gosh, that's good. And I didn't think that train travel in America was particularly celebrated

because it's quite hard to get from big cities on the trains. Because you hear about the Greyhound buses and obviously the freeway and all the rest of it, but you're right, not so much the trains. So I did try to do a trip myself and I just couldn't make those connections. But he said it was just amazing because for a whole kind of 48 hours of constant train journeying you are just in this desert wilderness which would be astonishing actually no that's a bit frightening isn't it no but also brilliant yeah that's just the vastness i wonder whether if we got a different

wardrobe so maybe some pink jackets and stuff like that we would be able to get a commission doing some train journeys jane do you think anyone would be interested in that? Around Britain? Yeah, around the world. After what I've said about Avanti West, I think the chances of us getting sponsorship from them is a little limited. Oh, I think we should try.

Okay. Well, if anybody wants to follow my adventures as I change platforms, a crew for a delayed train to Liverpool Lime Street. No, you see, we don't want to follow that. Some energising TGVs down to the south of France. Let's welcome a listener in Belgium, which keen fans of geography will know is not that far away from France. Frederick is a 43-year-old Belgian man, and he describes himself, EFV, as completely enamoured with both you and your

audience. Rather nice, isn't it? That's lovely. Welcome aboard. Ever since I discovered your podcast, says Frederick, you have been accompanying me on my daily after-dinner walks around town. I found your delightful podcast by Googling, and this is where I really, really warm to Frederick, by Googling comfortable and cosy podcasts on Reddit. I never really understand Reddit. What's Reddit for?

I don't really know either. I think it's like the bandit country of searches, is it? No? What would you usually be on Reddit for? Let's ask a young person. What do you go to Reddit for, Kate? There's a bit of everything on there. That doesn't help. No.

I mean, that makes it sound like little. It's like a forum. OK, so you can have... There's different channels. So there might be a podcast recommendation channel. Oh, so it's people chatting to each other? Yeah. Right, good to know.

Okay, so we came up on comfortable and cosy. I think I'm pleased about that. It's okay. It's okay, but... Did you want to be on sexy and scintillating? Yeah, challenging and... Erudite. That's it, yes.

Anyway, it actually turns out it was our previous podcast that came highly recommended on Reddit. Oh, OK, Frederick. Oh, that old cushion. Yeah, you can imagine my... Yeah, a bit of soft furnishing meant nothing to either of us. You can imagine my disappointment, says Frederick, after realising the first episode I'd ever listened to

was going to be your last. That's funny the way La Vie turns out, isn't it? Anyway, he says he's now discovered this new one and he really enjoys it and particularly admires the brilliance of the listeners. Thank you for being so lovely and British. And if you ever have a bad day, remember you're entirely responsible

for this grinning idiot dressed in reflective safety gear walking around his hometown every night. Pardon any grammatical errors, says Frederick. English is not my first language. First of all, never ever apologise to either of us

for grammatical errors in something that isn't your first language. Anyway, I didn't spot any. No, it sounded very good. Why are you walking around in reflective gear in your hometown? Are you going... He's safety conscious. Yeah, but are you going for a walk as a form of exercise?

Well, you're not suggesting he's a late-night prowler. No, I thought maybe his job is to do with, you know... Maybe he's a caretaker of a town or something like that. Maybe he's a policemantaker of a town or something like that maybe he's a policeman he could be well we don't know and we'd like more from you Frederick so you're very welcome

thank you very much it doesn't matter how you found us we're just glad you have and let us know more about what you're doing but please don't apologise for the grammatical errors now quite a few of you have been in touch about hair removal at unfortunate and difficult kind of times in life.

And it's something that an awful lot of people have thought about, Jane, but not realised that other people are thinking about it too. And sometimes that is the magic of the podcast world, isn't it? That you'll say something out loud. And when you hear it, you go, yeah, that's me, that's me. This one is just an example of lots that we've had and it comes from alice and it is very sad but i want to read it because i think it's very uh it's very moving as well so i'm not usually one to have the confidence to

email him but your conversation yesterday about hair removal in one's final days was very close to my heart and that's a sentence i never thought I'd say. So Alice goes on to say, in 2016, my 31-year-old sister Sarah died from bowel cancer. I was 29 and we were as close as two sisters can be, even though she lived in Sydney and I lived in London. After my parents and I received the horrendous call from her husband that we were in the very final stages of her illness, the three of us jumped on the next

flight i found it particularly amusing that only the day before this i'd received a picture message from sarah from her hospital room of her in a face mask with one of our best friends who also lived in sydney as the days went by and she gradually became more weak one day she softly requested that someone bring her some tweezers. Apparently, her ever-dutiful husband had bought some from the hospital shop a few days before, and she proceeded to pluck her eyebrows with a little help from me while I held up a mirror. I hadn't really thought much of this at the time, other than it was completely unsurprising of Sarah, as she was always immaculately beautiful and incredibly dignified. But since she died, it's always been a moment i've cherished and

smiled at sorry i'm having a little moment there let's carry on it's lovely this actually to be able to hold the hand of the person and walk them to the end of life with their pride and dignity protected is a true honor and it's often helped me in my grief to hold these moments of true love and care close we We always joke that under no circumstances would we want dry lips if we were incapacitated, and the other must be on hand with the lip balm if required. But in reality, it was always the stray hairs that were really important. Alice says, thank you for all you do in keeping the sisterhood alive.

You've given me a lot of comfort over the years in providing the types of conversation that Sarah and and i would always have thank you for that i think that's it's lovely and why i mean it's it's far from insignificant isn't it that it's a very touching thing to do for somebody at an incredibly vulnerable time and you can completely understand i've never i've you know i know but it's just a truth i've never been seriously ill in my life. And how fortunate am I? That's absolutely fantastic. We're touching wood, kids.

No, lucky on me. But I can absolutely imagine that if I were in that state, you would still care. You would absolutely care about your bloody eyebrows. Why shouldn't you? Of course you would. Of course you would. And also because you probably are thinking about so many other enormous things. You know, I think those thoughts would become big as well. And when you're in a state where you wouldn't be able to keep your dignity any longer, of course your appearance is part of that.

of course your appearance is part of that so what a really amazing memory Alice to share with us and you know Jane and I are sorry that you've lost your sister but also I think in just sometimes in telling other people about those special moments of closeness you do the world a bit of a favour because you know we all understand and it makes us think how we'd like to be with the people we love too. And we haven't mentioned this, have we, but cancer is obviously very much at the heart of the national conversation in Britain at the moment because of the King's very public diagnosis of cancer. And so you don't have to be a fanatical royalist of any kind

to be thinking about it and about what it must be like to be diagnosed with cancer and indeed to be close to somebody who's been diagnosed with it so um there is a there is more openness now in britain isn't there than there was certainly back i'm thinking oh gosh yes and so the comparison's been made to queen elizabeth's father who died of lung cancer and the nation wasn't told so even when he was being operated on and he was operated on at buckingham palace or windsor castle they didn't even take him to hospital the surgeons came to him but people were told that he was having some structural operations done you know

there was a really odd shame about cancer oh they're really well this is long before even you and i were born so this is back in me not you yeah you're right it was just before i was born bloody hell um in nine in the 1950s i think early 1950s but even during the course of my own lifetime it is true to say that um we are much more open about cancer and um discussing it and i you know i think i've mentioned before but by far the cleverest girl in my class at school died of cancer when we were 14 and although it was I can't say it wasn't discussed but it wasn't discussed properly and openly with a group of quite vulnerable teenage girls I wish

they had been I don't know more I'm not blaming anybody for this because I think it was a different time but um you know I am glad that we are now much more likely to, it doesn't make having cancer any easier, by the way, but at least it's right up there and it's open and there's no, well, there certainly shouldn't be any shame attached to having it. No, although I do think something a bit weird has happened, though, I think in the way that cancer is discussed with young people. I know that

the statistic one in two of us will get cancer in our lifetime is very important to know but i think that's quite scary to tell kids and i know that that's in some feelings classes as your kids call them um you know the official phse yeah uh you know, I don't know whether that is actually, you know, something that the national curriculum is advising teachers to talk about. And it's all about informing kids about making good choices about what you eat and what you do and all that kind of stuff. But I think it is frightening to be told that cancer, you know, will get, you know, there are three of us in this room,

it'll get one and a half of us. We're okay knowing that. But I think when you're much younger, that's frightening. So maybe the pendulum could swing a tiny bit back. We just need to be careful how we frame it all, don't we? And also, it's just worth saying, you can take all the precautions you like. You can be as fit and as healthy as you like. But age, old age, is actually the biggest risk factor.

And I'm sure that, you know, Sarah, Alice's sister, was 31. Exactly, yeah. So she was exceptionally unlucky. So young people do not need to be too troubled about their own chances of getting cancer. Just a final one from us on the

subject of chin hair, facial hair, all that kind of stuff. This one comes from Gemma, who says, Fee's innovative idea of having a moustache-taming beautician at the dentist, that's never going to happen, as it reminded me of a funny story about my dad. He was visiting me in London, and we popped into the Richmond branch of Debenhams to use the loos.

As we were leaving, we passed the threading bar where a couple of women in reclined chairs were having their upper lips tamed. My dad glanced from them to me, looking a bit confused. He said, what are they doing getting their teeth flossed in Debenhams? This made me laugh and love him even more. That's great. And we need to clear up whether or not you can still buy beef consomme soup.

Oh, let's clear up the nation weights. And the relief is unimaginable because you'll never guess. Waitrose are still flogging it at the relatively reasonable price of £1.40 per tin. But it's very thin, isn't it? And is that condensed, though? Is it condensed? It's got to be undiluted. So it's got to be condensed to work in the recipe.

Yeah, snaffles mousse. So you can't actually make snaffles mousse with beef consomme soup. But if you want beef consomme soup, waitrose are selling it £1.40. Have you ever tried to make consomme? You have to put an egg in it or something, don't you? What? And swish it around and it picks up all of the bits and pieces and that's what makes it clear.

I've learnt that from MasterChef. Really? I know nothing of this. No? No. So, gosh, I mean, every day is a school day. It certainly is. I didn't know that eggs were involved. Oh, anyway.

Aren't you interviewing somebody from MasterChef? I'm interviewing John Tirode, or as he's always been known in our house, Jonty Rhodes. So I'll be calling him Jonty. I think there was a cricketer called Jonty Rhodes. Maybe. The kids just always thought he was,

they just, they couldn't get to road as a surname. Hello, lovely ladies. This one's from Pat. The ginger nut concoction was a Dougal pudding. This is your mum's pudding. Well, no, it's lots of people's puddings. I think everybody's doing it. This one comes from Carla, who says,

the mystery starter reminded me of my nan's famous crunchy chicken this was chicken leg dipped in beaten egg then coated in bachelor's chicken noodle soup powder and deep fried in smelly old oil it was delicious in 1983 and about the same time I worked in a small flock papered restaurant where the chef had a slight variation of the ginger roll on the menu. The ginger nuts were dipped in brandy, smeared with chunky marmalade, stuck together in a log,

then covered in cream and grated chocolate. Hashtag 1984. That's a solid no, I'm afraid. I absolutely don't want that. No. So mum doesn't really call it anything. It wasn't a thing. It was just, you know, mum's cherry pudding.

Right. I had a slight hankering for it last night after talking about it. Yeah, well, I'm sure you have had a hankering. It just reminded me I've got one of those GU puddings in the fridge. And it's eat by date is tonight, I think. It'll be okay. Is it the chocolate one? It's honey and something.

Oh. And do you keep the ramekins? Well, do I? This is a very, very good question. I have a collection of ramekins, which I... Do you know what I do with them, Fiona? What do you do with your ramekins, Jane? I fill them with nuts and put them on my occasional table

when I'm having people round for drinks. Just a hashtag serving suggestion there, if anybody wants to. Well, pretty like me. Put your nuts in a bowl and eat them. There we go. Serving suggestions are hysterical. I mean, when you see images of things, I bloody know that's what you do.

The best ones were always things like those crispy pancakes. Finder's crispy pancakes. Their serving suggestion was just a little piece of lettuce. Put them on a plate. Just behind the crispy pancake. Oh, wonderful. A bit of garnish. Does it still say serving suggestion on boxes?

Oh yeah, you quite often see it Okay, I didn't know that I've got time on my hands to read boxes When I'm not scattering ramekins filled with nuts all over my occasional tables VoiceOver describes what's happening on your iPhonehone screen voiceover on settings so you can navigate it just by listening books contacts calendar double tap to open breakfast with from 10 to 11 and get on with your day accessibility there's more to iPhone. What have you got next?

I've got... This is actually started quite a conversation about making friends in later life. Yes. I just want to acknowledge, first of all, Sam is in Illinois. And honestly, it's always just frankly exciting to get emails from outside the UK. So keep them coming to janeandfeeattimes.radio because you don't

need a stamp for any of this, do you? That's very true. So we've got Frederick in Belgium. Who's in Illinois? Sam. Sam's in Illinois. And, you know, it's not like sending one of those blue airmail letters that we used to get back in the day. You can just do it in an instant. Email.

It's been around for a while. I'm really getting into it. Anyway, Sam says, I've got a slightly different take on this idea of making new friends at an older time in your life, an older age. I moved to a small rural town in the Chicago area four years ago. I'm not sure I arrived here thinking that I didn't want to make new friends. But then the pandemic kicked in and I had to have some surgeries. And before I knew it, I'd been here for three years and I hadn't really made any local friends. It was at that moment, at the age of 55, I decided I was OK with it. The thought of having to start over and figure out who I could connect with just sounds exhausting.

Also, with technology, I'm able to be in touch with my lifelong friends all over the world. I chat with my cousin in Surrey in England every day almost. I text with my cousin in Barbados and chat weekly with my auntie in New Jersey. I visit friends in Michigan and back in Chicago pretty regularly so in all fairness being able to do that probably makes my chosen life of solitude more bearable. The town I've moved to is welcoming, people are friendly. I go to dance classes, go out to the wine bar and the shops but I'm satisfied with having a nice chat but not following through. I promise you I'm not a curmudgeon. I just can't be bothered starting over when I have wonderful,

rich and full friendships in my life already. I've got three words I try to follow every day. friendships in my life already. I've got three words I try to follow every day. Purpose, health and connection. There you go. Good words. Sam, thank you for that. On another topic, I loved Boy Swallows Universe. Recommended to everyone. I've even loved the Netflix series. Okay. But Sam doesn't like the new book. Okay, fair enough. Well, thank you for that, Sam. That's just, I mean, that's one version of doing what you want to do. I suppose if I was going to quibble with Sam's life choices, I might say that it's all absolutely fine as long as Sam remains in good health.

But you never know when you might need somebody, IRL, who could pop round and really help you out. Yeah, but I guess you can't really make friends with people on the basis that one day you might need to ask them for something. This is news to me. Sam does say, of course, that they've had some surgeries already. So I don't know. Anyway, but look, I totally get it that I don't know what sex Sam is,

so I'm being careful here, but I don't know what connections they feel they need. Well, they obviously don't. They're obviously quite satisfied with the connections they have got. I thought it was a really interesting email because you just very rarely hear discussions about friendship or loneliness that say that, you know, I'm not lonely. Yeah, I might be alone.

And I'm not in need of many more friends. But also, isn't that just a lovely statement about being content? Yeah. Just about feeling that your needs are being met, that you don't want for company, you don't feel that you need to be heard by somebody and, you know, you're not being driven mad by people who you expect more from.

So that's a good take. But there is another side to this, and this is a listener who is in... Oh, she's 68, been widowed for three years and moved from Devon to the Wirral to be nearer an adult son. Now, and this is something that a lot of people do, and I understand why they do it, but when you've lost your partner,

it's quite possible that your children might put a bit of pressure on you to move nearer them. And what can happen, of course, is that whilst it might make the adult child's life a little easier, it is probably quite challenging for the older person because they do have to up sticks, move to a different part of the country, and their adult child or children will be quite busy

and may not have as much time for them as either of the two parties might have imagined. Anyway, our correspondent goes on to say, people in the north are generally warm and welcoming, but I haven't made any new friends since I moved here in 2022. And I have joined loads of groups. I'm currently in a book club, a tai chi group, a choir, a knitting group, a dance class and the University of the Third Age. While we chat away while doing the activities we don't ever meet up outside the

group times. So while I do keep busy for much of the week I do find myself alone. I have got used to this now and I will go to the cinema, the theatre and galleries by myself but weekends can be long and often I don't actually speak out loud for two or three days at a time. People in their 60s and 70s don't seem to be too interested in making new friends. They are in established networks and it can be hard to break into them as a newcomer. I'd be interested to hear if

anybody my age has had any success in finding new chums after moving um thank you for that because i do think that's another important perspective and i'll just go back to my earlier point that it's it's terrific for the adult children when mum or dad moves nearer them but it may not be that easier for them no and i think I think that pull back to the valleys is just borne out by so many people as being really strong. So to go kind of in the opposite direction, to be asked to set up a new life in a new valley, could be a little bit tricksy.

I do know people for whom that really hasn't worked out, actually, as well. What, moving to be their children? Yes, just because, to your point really you know the the kids are busy yeah and the grandchildren don't need you as much a bit further down the line actually and head off out that is true i think that that relationship between grandparent and grandchild can be incredibly touching and very important but but having said that jane i'd just i intend to follow my children at a maybe i don't know, 10km distance for the rest of their lives. Hello!

Just one town behind you. This is actually a really tricky area and I wonder if people have got... They're not getting away. No, I wonder if you have got views on this, do contribute. I mean, certainly my sister and I, we did have conversations with our parents about them moving nearer one of us at one time

and they just didn't want to do it. Now, has that made it slightly challenging at this point in their lives? Well, it has because of Avanti West. It has. It has. If you had a nice train line, you'd be laughing. But I do understand... I understand that their commitment to being in the North West was... You know, they just couldn't move.

They'd never known anywhere else. And frankly, they weren't prepared to get to know anywhere else. Difficult. So this comes from Pamela, and it's about Colette, just to kind of round up where we started, actually, with meeting friends later on in life. And this is just delightful. So Colette was our original listener

who had moved to North Staffordshire, hadn't she? In her 50s, I think, and was just struggling to find really good kind of deep friendships to make. And Pamela, because you are just a lovely listener, as so many listeners to Off Air are, has offered, because she's in Staffordshire too, moved there in her 50s with her husband, offered because she's in Staffordshire too, moved there in her 50s with her husband. She would very much like to pass on contact details to Colette and would be very happy to pop along, meet up and see what happens from there.

So Pamela, you're lovely. What a generous thing to suggest and keep us posted. So we'll do the due diligence and GDPR and all of that kind of stuff and hopefully you can meet IRL. Do you know what? So there are acronyms in that sentence that would have meant nothing to me four years, five years ago.

Oh, you're so... But it flowed, didn't it? I wasn't even going to comment. Yeah, it's wonderful. The museum... We're just so very fashionable. Actually, have we mentioned that we're on the syllabus of an institution? You mentioned that because I did say to our producer today

that we needed to publicise that, actually, because that doesn't happen very often. I don't think it does. Well, one of our colleagues, Megan, has a sibling at a... I won't mention it, but at a drama school. Very reputable drama school. Very, very prestigious. And I speak as a regular theatre girl, of course.

I was at Metamorphosis only last night. I speak as a regular theatre girl of course I was at Metamorphosis only last night I speak as a speaker yes and um our colleague's brother was recommended a bit of homework and it was off air to listen to off air but we couldn't really work out why no and we're still mulling it over um but uh whether it's because they think at this particular institution that we're very good at acting like complete bellends, I don't know. Or do you think there could be something else? It will be interesting. We need to ask again. But for the moment, we're going to assume it's a good thing,

and so we're going to tell lots of people about it. And if you never hear us mention it again... Yeah, it'll be because... It's because it was embarrassing, and they were being told to go and listen to these two absolute twaddling idiots and learn how not to speak. There was a programme that I did for the World Service, Jane, that ended up on the curriculum of the University of Massachusetts

and quite honestly, I could die happy now. Just as a kind of lasting thing. Retrospectively, congratulations on that. It was really weird. We went to meet the students. It was called My Perfect Country. So it was just a show about if you were going to build a country from start,

which bits of the world would you take where things have actually worked. So they used this as part of their master's curriculum. And it was just one of those really weird things. It was just like this is, you know, the professor had heard it on the World Service late at night and just thought that's quite a good kind of and course cutting straight to them did you get any money out of it i think the bbc did not sure i saw a lot from it but it was a nice purposeful thing because the weird thing about what we do for a living is

it goes out into the ether doesn't it radio? Radio. I mean, I love radio for that. But there's nothing permanent about radio. Oh, I won't have you say that. No, that's it now. But you probably are a cause somewhere. Don't you think, at the University of Liverpool? It was her defilling

Garvey. Why not? Why not? Let's check in with Linda in Cheltenham. Do you remember buying cheese and it was always cut with a cheese wire on a block? Yes, I do. Oh, why not? Why not? Let's check in with Linda in Cheltenham. Do you remember buying cheese and it was always cut with a cheese wire on a block? Yes, I do. Oh, that's a lovely memory. That is a wonderful memory. And then it was beautifully wrapped in a neat parcel with greaseproof paper.

Also, the daily loaf, equally beautifully wrapped in tissue paper with the ends tucked in. Oh, this was so much nicer and better for the environment than vacuum packed cheese and plastic bags Linda thank you very much for that do you still go anywhere where they have a juddering where they have a juddering bread slicer I don't I haven't felt the judder of a bread slicer

in quite some time well I tell you what darling you need to get your white sliced loaf down to a juddering bread slicer this weekend and just remember the pleasure. Right, get on with it. Museum of Lost Experiences is the title of probably my final email.

It comes from Glyn. I'm totally with you on the pleasure of a library stamp. Everybody has loved the fact that this is called a dicker. Yeah, it's brilliant. It must be called dickers from now on. And would like to add one of those Dymo label thingies to your virtual Museum of Lost Experiences picture attached. After lots of pestering, I remember getting one for my ninth birthday.

So this is the thing where it's got the alphabet going round it in a circle. You put a piece of plastic tape through it. You turn the letters, stamp it. Turn the letters, stamp it. It's not the slickest, is it? It's not the slickest. It took absolutely forever, and if you made a mistake... Oh, God.

Go right back to the beginning. Glyn remembers getting one for her, his, ninth birthday. Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a skateboard from the muse parents and subsequently labelling everything in my bedroom? Book, pencils, door, etc. The whole process of threading the strip of tape into place, turning the dial to the correct letter, pulling the trigger

only to find you'd chosen the wrong letter was a sensory overload. Simpler times, says Glyn. And you're right, actually. And do you know what? One of my kids had one of those when they were younger and i came downstairs in the morning and she'd done the same thing so there was a sticker waiting for me to wear all day just said mum and then uh there was one on the kettle and then there was one on the plant that just said plant it's on a leaf who was that helping I loved it um let's end with this just because it just made me smile it's from uh Judith who's

actually talking about caring for a grandchild uh my husband had severe dementia and needed 24 hour care but I visited every afternoon even when he didn't know me or occasionally accused me of outrageous behaviour. But four afternoons a week, I left early to collect my granddaughter from primary school, and her happiness and sheer joy of life saved my sanity. Sitting on the floor, playing hospital or school or holiday with a battered collection of toys was restorative and calming. My husband is dead and my granddaughter is a teenager,

but I honestly thank her from the bottom of my heart for her love and her laughter in such bleak times. I'm now her taxi driver and she still makes me laugh. Judith, I'm really glad to hear about that. And I absolutely understand that those afternoons after being with your husband, I know you love very much, but after being with him in trying times and circumstances, what a wonderful contrast to be able to then go and collect a bundle of joy from school and just spend a bit of happy time with her, doing those imagination games I was just crap at.

And I do hope that I somehow gain a new ability to play them at some point in the next decade, should I get the chance. Do you think you will? Do you think that... No, I think you might surprise yourself. I'll just say to Jude, no, let's just play radio stations. I'm the presenter and you're the record librarian, OK? I know you've never seen a record because you were born in 2031,

but that's neither here nor there. That's what I'll be doing. I you're gonna love being a grandparent oh my god well we're a long way off it yeah as far as i can make out but honestly all of those shopping trips you can do i mean you could go to little four times a day there'll be different breaded products available all the time the middle of little it's going to be transformed in the next decade isn't it isn't it yeah wonderful no i think the opportunities will be endless right well i've got to go because i've got to interview somebody in a cult and fee's got to interview john to road and i haven't had my lunch oh my word you've done well uh thank you for all of your emails keep them coming uh we read every single

one of them and we're so grateful to you for basically providing the content. That doesn't go amiss. Jane and Fee at times.radio is our email address and we're back with you on Monday. Well, I'm not actually. Jane's back with you. It's the Janes for a week in joy. I think people will. And if anyone is interested in more

lifestyle tips from me, please ask. I've got loads. Not just the ramekins. Absolutely loads. Bye. We're bringing the shutters down on another episode of the internationally acclaimed podcast Off Air with Jane Garvey and Fee Glover.

Our Times Radio producer is Rosie Cutler and the podcast executive producer is Henry Tribe. But don't forget that you can get another two hours of us every Monday to Thursday afternoon here on Times Radio. We start at 3pm and you can listen for free on your smart speaker. Just shout Play Times Radio at it. You can also get us on DAB Radio in the car or on the Times Radio app whilst you're out and about being extremely busy.

And you can follow all our tosh behind the mic and elsewhere on our Instagram account. Just go onto Insta and search for Jane and Fi and give us a follow. So in other words, we're everywhere, aren't we, Jane? Thank you for joining us. And we hope you can join us again on Off Air very soon. VoiceOver describes what's happening on your iphone screen voiceover on settings so you can navigate it just by listening books contacts calendar double tap to open breakfast with from 10 to 11 and get on with your day accessibility there's more to iphone