Off Air... with Jane and Fi - Fnarr fnarr at the silver screening... (with Emma B)

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

Jane and Fi are feeling nostalgic today and they’re reminiscing about simpler times: when the landline phone knew its place, the Mini Cooper stayed in its lane, and washing your hair and body was a straight forward with Matey... Plus, Virgin Radio’s Emma B discusses her new podcast 'I Can Run A Marathon'.  Our next book club pick is 'A Town Like Alice' by Nevil Shute. Our most asked about book is called 'The Later Years' by Peter Thornton. You can listen to our 'I'm in the cupboard on Christmas' playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1awQioX5y4fxhTAK8ZPhwQIf you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] us on Instagram! @janeandfiPodcast Producers: Eve SalusburyExecutive Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Where would you go? I'd go to Margate like Madonna. To Margate? She quite clearly spent the whole of January in Margaret. January. Okay. Did you, I mean, she did go to Margate, didn't she? Well, she did, because she was photographed, wasn't she, in the kind of central little square in the old town looking fabulously Madonna-esque.

I've never been, have you? Yes. And? It's got beautiful sounds. It's got amazing. Oh, you had a summer holiday. Yeah, we did a lockdown holiday in Margate. Yeah.

and we had a great time. We made the most of it, and we went to... Is this a slightly rose-tinted spectacles? No, I think lots of people move to Margate and find it invigorating people who've grown up and lived there all their lives, have stayed there. You know, there's obviously something to be said for it. It's not, I wouldn't want to...

Why wouldn't I want to live there myself? I find there's something for me a little bit... I'm not sure that I would make it through the winters in seaside summer... resort if you know what I mean. I do know what you mean. Because it's, I think for me the kind of everybody's left feeling would get to me. I like the paciness of London. It's never not busy. Do you know what to mean? That's certainly true. I'd like to hear from people who live in seaside resorts about how they navigate exactly that. Yes. November and onwards until mid-April

in let's be honest Britain does have some desolate no I mean through no fault of their own quite deprived former seaside resorts but also just places that are neither of those two things but are just a little quiet

when it's off season and yeah and a trifle challenging sometimes stiff breezes but I bet if you like it it's because of the change isn't it that you can look forward to something completely different really in summer.

Get fed up with all of the blowings and have your lovely seaside resort back to yourself. It must be lovely to get rid of the rest of us. I would like to if at all possible. Well, let's start the one I've picked as long. Oh, okay, so this just came in. It's just dreamy, isn't it? It comes in from Fiona who says,

Dear Jane, how wrong you are about sewing calls in the UK. And there is a photograph. If I ever ended up living in a house that had that at the bottom of the garden, I would just have lucked out. Everything in life would have worked out. So would you like to describe the picture that Fiona has sent us? Well, it is a scene of both bucolic idyll, and let's face it, I'm going to say,

colossal personal achievement, because it features, it looks like it's harvest time because you can see in the background all the bales of hay have been brought in and bound up. And then there's a shot in the foreground of a swimming pool and it's not a small one everybody it's an outdoor UK swimming pool with some loungers I have to say facing facing the field not the pool but it is gorgeous

but is it really in the UK yes it is well yes it is well because I don't think I don't think Fiona's a liar and she says it's in Kent and it does look like a Kentish scene she says this is my third pool over a 50 year period I do all of looking at after the pool start the season around the beginning of May. I heat it for three to four days with a heat exchanger, which is like a fridge in reverse. It's then 23 degrees centigrade and I don't heat it again all summer. How does that work? So it just keeps the heat just keeps in. There's a solar cover which comes out of the pool back wall which goes on every night until it gets really warm in the UK. Then I have to leave it off. Otherwise the pool goes through over 30 degrees. I swim till the end of

October. But it is cold water swimming from about the third week of September. I swim first thing every morning and being my own pool no need for a costume so none of the faf of changing. Now Fiona goes on to say that she nearly offered me a swim in lockdown Fiona nearly. Why didn't you? I just would have been down that like a shot.

And Fiona says this is in Kent, we enjoy sharing it and lots of people from our village also use it. So you get a nice person badge but it's so beautiful because the swimming pool's on the same level as the field so it's not making a pretend hence of itself being an infinity pool.

It does have an edge. But it just looks beautiful. Imagine being able to get up every day and just take off your night things if indeed Fiona you're wearing it. Well, she sounds like someone who goes, oh natural. She does, doesn't she?

So you could just go, oh, natural, from your bedroom, straight out to your own pool and dive in. And the only thing watching you would be a couple of magpies. It should always be a couple of magpies. And maybe some insects who've had a nice, evenings rest in the hay bales? Well, what about moles, voles, otters, not otters, foxes, well, maybe. Badgers. It looks like a bucolic idyll and I congratulate you Fiona. Just sensation. It was so nice to look at that picture this morning. Yeah. Well, it's good to hear from the

swimming pool owning community in our, in our listenership. I didn't know how many we'd have and Fiona has been the first to self-identify as someone who is very much in love with her third swimming pool over a 50 year period. But props to you for it not sucking up lots of energy. That's amazing so you only have to eat it for three to four days

and then it stays hot. Yes, I mean, am I jealous? I am a little. I'm well gel. Although I did question quite how often I would use the pool even if it was in my own home and even if I didn't have to even put any clothes on.

I still would have to gird my loins. I have to say my slightly pimply loins if it was the first thing in the morning and I wasn't wearing any clothing. I mean, I mean goosebumps, not actually. I don't have acne on my loins. I'm just going to wait until this is finished, everybody. It's quite funny because Fee met me in a local...

How would you describe it? A local chemist shop close to our office this morning. Super drug. That's it. We were both buying provisions. and it was quite funny. You asked if I was buying anything embarrassing and should you leave?

Yes. I was buying E-45 and some paper hankies. So I did. I just felt maybe you needed a private purchase. So I offered to go and wait outside. I think it's all right for everyone to know that I occasionally apply E-45. I think that's okay.

And I was having a... Nothing to see here. Just desperate moments I realized that I'd come to work without any nicotine replacement therapy. Right. So I had to go and buy some lozenges. But they've only... got the fruit ones and as anybody else who is on these things knows, the fruit one's disgusting.

Are they? I don't know no idea about horrible. Who's still buying juicy fruit, chewing gum? Maybe don't, do you? It was an odd flavour that. Very odd. It was absolutely no link to any fruit I recognised. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And it didn't make your mouth feel better. It just made it feel worse. It was just kind of yucky and sweet and plasticy. So the Nicorette gum things are the same. You don't want the fruit. You want the mint. They come in just play. Or, oh, mint. Mint. Okay.

Right. I like the minty-fresh dependency. Should we say hello to Heloise? Go on. Heliz. Yes. Who sent us a very good email. I was interested in your discussion with Eve's input about sleep tracker neuroticism.

Back in December, I wrote an article for Days magazine about the sudden rise of biohacking and the potential obsessive adverse effects. Now, I read your article. I think it's fantastic. Do you tell me more about the article? article. So you can find it on daysdigital.com and then if you type in, Z-E-D-E-D-I-G-I-T-A-L dot C-O-M, is that enough? Thank you. And then you can type in self-care or self-erasure and Heloise's article is in there. It's about all of these fit bits and, you know, the shark masks that you can wear and the strange white light you can be giving yourself in blue light and red light at all times of.

the day, all of the endless tracking devices. It includes period trackers. Yes, and what it's doing to our health to have that kind of dependency. And of course, it's just not a very good thing. But these things are appealing because the technology promises us so much, doesn't it? You know, this is a new form that we haven't investigated yet. It's not an elixir, it's not a powder, you don't have to ingest it. You just lay it across your organs or all your skin.

somehow the technology is going to make you healthier. And of course it sucks you in because when do you get to the day where you go, I don't want to track myself anymore. And the only time you're going to get to that is when you're so fed up because you've disappointed yourself. So what is the journey that you're embarking on? I have that in a very minor way with my steps, my pacer thing. So you were addicted to your steps because I remember you saying quite a lot, oh, I need to do more for my, and didn't you used to walk up and down the stairs to get to 10,000?

If I was agonisingly close, close to 10,000, I would keep going. Which is madness. And anyway, now I do about a steady six and a half thousand, seven thousand a day. For what it's worth. I don't even know what that means. But I do know that you can get far, far too self-involved with this kind of caper. I mean, you know when you've had a good night's sleep, and you know when you've had a slightly broken one.

And you probably also know why your sleep isn't as good on some nights as it is on others. It can be that you've got worries of one sort or another. We absolutely get that. Or it can just be a blind drunk when you go to bed and you fall into one of those delicious alcohol comers only to wake up about three and four hours later feeling very sick. Feeling sick and hot and achy and very, very dehydrated.

Don't do it, kids. But I mean, also it's a bit boring. I've got a friend, just the one. And she will occasionally tell me about the quality of her night's sleep the night before based on what her phone has told her. I don't care. But also I just don't understand how that phone is tracking your REM or whatever it is. So no, I completely agree.

But I think the article just makes you think about how enticing it all is. Because, of course, it's promising you somebody else can regulate you. And that's always dreamy, isn't it? You know, this piece of tech is going to timetable your life. So you can kind of palm it off onto it and it will help you. but then you end up just having such a weird relationship with that piece of tech. So I had a Fitbit once right at the kind of very beginning of it.

And it just drove me mad. I mean, within a month, I just had to put it in the mandrel, which is where it stayed ever since. Because I just checked it too often. It was just like, this is horrible. This is a kind of, this is like being back at school where you have to do games.

I want to do games. I mean, all parts of our life are governed by our gadgets. I mean, my car, I was driving back from, Liverpool to London on the 27th of December. So obviously the traffic was really bad. But I took lots of stops. I'm very, you know, I'm sensible. I would never dream of driving when I was knackard or anything like that.

But the fact that the car, the screen in the car, started asking me if I needed another break. Are you tired? And I thought, no, I've stopped. I've literally stopped twice. I'm fine. I can complete the journey. I mean, you know, your fridge talks to you.

It's got needs. Your car wants to have a get involved. The phone is telling you how good you're sleeping. has been. I mean, remember the old phone in the hall? You never heard from it, did you? It just stood there and you had phone calls on it. But it wouldn't have dreamt of telling you what kind of a night's sleep you'd had the night before. It knew its business and it kept to it. Take a breath. I'm just unangry. I actually think the car thing is the one thing that is good. Oh, do you? Yes, I do. I do. And if there was some way of the car actually tracking your pulse on a steering wheel,

so it could probably tell if you were beginning to drift off. I think that would be an incredibly good thing. Well, that's a bit different. But I was just being slight, I felt I was being nagged by a mini. So it was doing it just on the time that you'd... It's just because, you know, you're driving on the M6 on the 27th December. There's going to be lots of delays.

So why didn't it recognise that you had pulled over? This is what annoyed me. And had some rest. Yeah. Okay, so it was just being a bit daffy. Yes. I felt it was being intrusive and naggy. I'm going to say it. It was like...

Yeah. The other thing that I really don't get about cars, but maybe people can set me straight on this because I don't have an electric car and I don't often travel in one, but people tell me of screens that you can play chess on and stuff like that. Diculous. Why would you build that?

It's a car. It's a car that can do so much damage people. Why would you have anything on the screen that you have to get that involved with? I don't know. Who's our guest today? Our guest is Emma B, and she is a DJ and she's done lots of she done she has done you went to DJ speak there she has done lots of things in the music industry and she's upstairs in this building on Virgin Radio she's coming down to talk about her latest podcast which is called can I run a marathon and I ask this question of you can you run a marathon I can't personally but I do always support those friends of mine who have have done it and are doing it and have, you know, whatever.

I mean, I've cheered them on, I've supported, I've looked on in awe. I've been bored senseless by their talk of training. But it requires a set of guts that I'm afraid I'm not in possession of. What about you? What's the matter, Eve? Oh, it's okay, so thank you. That's very important. It's very, very important.

I can run a marathon. Is the name of the podcast. The questionable one. that I've put in there is what Jane would do. And the answer would be no. It would be very short podcast. So she is detailing her journey to running a marathon. She talks to lots of other people who have thought,

oh, I'm not sure that I can and have then managed to accomplish it. So we will talk about that. But she's got a very interesting life as well, which has had its fair share of drama. But I will just leave that within the body of the interview. If that's okay. Can I just mention another thing? because Heloise is probably thinking,

I wrote this email ages ago, you started talking about it ages ago, are you going to get to any other part of it? And the answer is yes. Aside from freelance journalism, I work for an everyman cinema to make ends meet. We do silver screenings for people aged over 60.

Oh, I could go to that. Oh, God, I now qualify for silver screens. You do. So what do you get in an older person's screening? Well, I'll tell you. And baby club for parents and newborns, and with both, you get a coffee and cake with your cinema ticket.

Isn't that nice? Yes. Now that is a class above my local cinema, which has exactly the same silver surfers club, but you only get tea and a biscuit. Look at the every man, you're getting coffee and cake. As part of the baby club ticket, you get two seats, one for you, one for the baby.

They turn the volume down and keep the lights on and have subtitles. It's actually really nice seeing new parents strike up conversations with each other. I'd definitely recommend it for someone feeling lonely during maternity leave. it is a very good recommendation. I wonder whether with the silver screenings they leave the seat next to you empty just in case you want a little bit of fa-na-fana and they turn it up

because everybody's very deaf. The one thing which is always a bit scary is carrying so many hot coffees around and trying not to drop them on the baby's heads but so far so good. Oh God. Actually that is one of the things I... It's one of those things you forget about

but a hot drink and a baby's head very, very dicey. Gotta be so careful. Do you know what? Just serving food in the cinema, we go to an every man sometimes to see our movies, our film, as a... Surely, every person.

Every person. Good call, lady. We go to the every person cinema and we go because we love having food while we're watching a film. You know, it's, you know, doing two things at once. It's absolutely marvellous. But they come and serve you in the dark.

And there are these... They do these plates, you know, with burgers that have a very sharp knife stuck in the top of them. You just think that's... One day... asking for trouble. That is going to literally trip you up, mate. But the poor people who are serving,

and they have to clamber across, you know, the people who've brought the seats right in the middle because they want the very best visuals. And, you know, the ones who've ordered a couple of hot soups. Gosh. Very difficult. Eating soup in the dark.

I'm not sure I can. He wouldn't be able to. No. So it's best, it's big kind of, it's not soup. It's big finger food. It's great. Oh, is it? Yeah.

So once you get it. So once you get it. across your burger, just don't put it down. Just keep eating until it's over. I think eating soup in the dark could be an Olympic sport if I were in charge of the International Olympic Committee. Do you know what?

It's a very good reason in this building for not eating soup during the day because they do a very good turnaround in the canteen and they are obviously using leftovers in the soups. What are you saying? Yes. You are right. You need to keep an eye on the menu during the course.

There was one soup which was Haik, Pollock and kale. Soup. It's one of the great classics. Right, all right. Maggie says, great to hear about your singing day. I'm a little bit disappointed

that no one has asked for me to reprise. There was only one email about it. I'd be able to move on. No, no, I'm not moving on. I joined a local choir about three years ago, says Maggie. All women, there are 52 of us. me every week. It's honestly the best thing. A great friendship and singing and definitely lifts my

spirits. Our choir just sang in our local Fife festival of music. It was a night of 10 different local choirs, all shapes and sizes and was great fun. Now that is the kingdom of Fife, isn't it? It is. It's up there in the Scotland. Yeah, that's right. Well, I'm glad to know that you had, and that's amazing to have 10 different local choirs. Wow, it's just that people in Fife are getting out there and testing their vocal chords on a regular basis. She also says she bought a Pyrex butter dish and Maggie says that is perfect for hot summer and cold winter and she also wants to vote for Irish butter. She does say I am a Northern Irish exile. Okay. Well Maggie, glad you're enjoying your singing in Fife and carry on with it. It really is a lovely thing to do.

Thank you very much indeed for sending in a recommendation of alcohol-free wine which comes from the Dillans. This is Diven, alcohol-free Pino Noir, all the character of Pino Noir without the alcohol. Expect right red berries, smooth tannins and a beautifully balanced lingering finish. I'm going to dig into that see whether it works. How much is it?

No, it doesn't say. I would imagine quite a lot. It's from Marks and Spence. But when I'm popping in for my disinfectant, I'll pick up a bottle of that too. Yes. Don't get the two. confused.

Rachel says, last week, I unexpectedly had a couple of nights in hospital and I didn't have any personal possessions or toiletries with me. Now, I was in a four-bedded bay and I was surrounded by a changing cast of elderly women. I was the youngest at 75, always the youngest, she says. They were really good companions, actually, despite some being very seriously ill.

What had us all in hysterics of frustration was that not one of us could open any packets. Now this included breakfast marmalade to sweeten the wet flannely toast and shampoo and shower gel sachets to use in the lukewarm shower. There were also those teeny weeny toothpaste tubes and yoghob pots, etc. Sometimes in the shower, for instance, we simply couldn't see where they were supposed to be opened. After all, you don't wear your glasses in the shower, do you? Sometimes the little tabs were too fiddly to get hold of or just came off without taking the lid with them.

and sometimes we just weren't strong enough to pull plastic sachets apart we were always having to apologise to the staff for having to ask them to open things for us I should say that Rachel does write relatively regularly and you're always welcome to do so Rachel and she does have cancer and this is an issue I think for a lot of people

at various particularly at later stages of their life or if you're just not well opening things it sounds really trivial but it's not is it it's actually really important Well, that grip that you've got in your hand and your wrists is often one of the first things to go, isn't it? It's a really key indicator of your basic level of health and fitness.

I think that's right, yeah. And hospitals, I know, will supply basic toiletries if you have, as Rachel just had, an unexpected couple of nights in hospital. But they do seem even more fiddly than the ones you can buy yourself. She just says at home, I despair of childproof bottle tops that I'm just not strong enough to press down on or squeeze. I routinely have to open those thick vacuum-packed fish fillets with my secateurs. And recently I had to take an electric toothbrush back to the shop

because I couldn't get through the plastic casing. And I was actually pleased to find that it took the much younger shop assistant more than 10 minutes to get into it herself. Please, please will someone consider our ageing population and devise some user-friendly solutions that will work for us? It's a long rant, she says, but sometimes you just have to. This is the place to come for a rant. And, no, I feel for you, Rachel.

I think you've actually highlighted something that is actually quite significant. And I hope people do have a look at that and see if they can do something about it. I completely agree. And I think that the packaging problem is getting worse, isn't it? Not better? Yeah, because we were meant to have dispensed with packaging, weren't we? But there are quite often kind of three layers of packaging to get involved with. Sometimes for me, it's that very simple.

It's the plastic covering that's on top of the bottle top or the lid. where you've got to try and find the tiny serrated bit and actually if your eyesight's not great it is really difficult to find the tiny serrated bit that you've got to pull off in order to release the plastic wrapping and then you've got the screw top to try and deal with two the most helpful utensil that I have in my kitchen is a jar opener it's a massive thing

it looks like a great big kind of angry flat set of pliers and it goes to about probably four inch diameter in width and it goes to tiny, tiny, tiny. And I think I use it nearly every day, Jane, just to open things. Yeah. And where does one acquire one of these guys? Well, I would have acquired it from probably from the John Lewis or the Argos or somewhere like that.

I've never heard of a jar. But I've always found it difficult to open jars because I've got tiny, tiny hands, like kids' hands. So quite often I just can't do it. So I thought, well, I'll buy this thing. And it's brilliant, absolutely brilliant. But it wouldn't help with the tiny plastic. ripping things.

No, and I really feel for Rachel, particularly because I think we've all been there in the shower, those of us who are not blessed with the greatest sight, always been short-sighted. And you go in the shower and you actually can't, you're holding the bottle up. And you think, what is this? Do I put this here or there?

I mean, no wonder, I'm sometimes in quite a state because I've been putting the wrong substance into various. Anyway. Let's not think too much about that. People might be listening in the daytime or might just have consumed food, Jane. but I wear my glasses in the shower for exactly that reason in hotels

because they'll have things stuck on the wall, won't they? And I won't know the difference and that, well, there is no differences. There between shampoo and body wash. Fee, what are you suggesting? They're specially made. I don't think there is.

Stig Abel, our colleague on breakfast, was having this conversation the other day and revealed to the nation that he shampoos his face just with whatever's available. So he doesn't use a face wash or anything like that. So he just, whatever shampoo

is available in his family bathroom, he'll just wash his beard and his face in that. Really? He's very manly. Oh gosh, no he is. But then Adam Bolton came on and said, I have facials all the time. I wouldn't dream of doing that. And he's also manly. Very manly. I thought there are two

completely different specimens of masculinity. I mean, we're blessed, aren't we in this building? Tell me what. We certainly are, we don't know where to turn. Go on. I was just going to say that my sister has very bad eyesight as well. Right. And she went away for a weekend and she came back and she said,

oh my God, I've got the most beautiful skin at the moment. You know, being away for the weekend must have been incredibly good for me, all that kind of stuff. And she did. She looked really, really well. And then she told me back a week later, it was because she hadn't had her contact lenses in when she had been doing her ablutions.

And she'd spent the whole weekend putting the hotel conditioner on her face as moisturiser. But it had actually really worked. She did look really good. Listen, let's bottle that tip. If in doubt, grab some conditioner. Well, I think, because it's got quite a lot of silicon slimy stuff in it, hasn't it? I do. I know what it is.

I mean, I'll use it. I don't know. I don't know what it is. No, we never had it in our day, did we? Not really, no. You ever have a bottle of conditioner by the bath when you were five years old? No way. It was just matey, and you got on with it.

I love matey. Little bottle, cheery little sailor. And just a... Do they still sell it? I'll try and find some. I don't know. Do you remember the motto for Baddy Dust? Things happen after a baddy dust bath.

When I was young, I just thought, God, the adult world's so, so fascinating. What's going to happen? What happens? Because I have a bath and I have to go to bed. But as we all know, they make love all night. every single nut.

I better not ever use that. Not till I'm at least 24. I'd forgotten about things happen after. Oh, that's good. Beck is somebody who examines. She's an examiner for both GCSE and A-Level history. Sorry, she has been, she says. I found marking A-levels particularly challenging

because of the handwriting. I would say that about 30% of scripts were difficult to read. There are tricks you can use to help you, magnifying the script can be really helpful. Scripts are scanned in and accessed electronically, she says. And once you've marked the first hundred scripts, you do get much quicker at knowing what students are likely to write.

You can reject scripts that are too difficult to read, although that's not encouraged, and you can ask your team leader to have a look, although this is very time-consuming for everybody involved and only done occasionally. I would like to introduce a rule that students could have only one of the following, poor handwriting, poor spelling, or a ponchant for making up words, as a combination of these makes marking exceptionally tricky, says Beck.

I bet it does. I mean, if you can't, yeah, I mean, decent handwriting. I honestly don't know how they mark these papers, and I don't know how, it must be very difficult to mark a history or an English lit A-level paper, presumably harder than marking maths. I mean, just because it's either right or wrong, presumably at the end of the day. I don't know. Harder than market.

Well, I don't know, because if you've got very bad handwriting. Do you then do numbers badly? Yeah, so you can't quite see the difference between a seven or a four. Yeah, okay. That would be very wrong. But, Jane, I certainly don't understand why kids are still having to write out essays. They're all having their lessons on a keyboard. So why do they go into exams and have to do three hours of essay writing?

I mean, you do now get a lot of pupils who do do their exams on a laptop. But I think they have to get permission, don't they? Okay, so it's not the norm. No, it's not the norm. But, yeah, let us start. I mean, there must be somebody listening. You can tell us why. And it's got to change in future.

It can't be a sustainable thing, can't it? Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't have thought so. No. No. Can we just talk about this because I'm, this is something that you see in every single, police cop show when they

arrest a suspect and they put them in the car and they press the head down on the way now I've always been concerned I've often fantasised about being a detective but one of my, there are many issues that would make that unlikely but one of the bigger ones would be that I couldn't

reach to put my hand on a big lad unless I was arresting somebody less than five foot one which is you know probably won't happen all that often unless the miscreant, alleged miscreant, is young. Yeah. I mean, just out of interest for me and the listener, what other things do you think are precluding you for a career in the police service?

Yes. Lack of common sense. Not very fit. Too old. Okay. I mean, I think the fact that you think badly of everybody could help. But I start on a level playing fit. Yeah, I think that's a plus. So I wouldn't rule it out. as a later life career change. Thank you. Anyway, let's go back to Ros. In a recent episode, you mentioned the difficulty

of getting an older person in and out of a car. Yes, that was me talking about trying to get my dad into my mini. And it reminded me of an occasion last Christmas when it happened in my new car.

Now, listen to this fee. Ross's husband had bought the car without any consultation. I think that's okay. So not okay. I don't think Ross thinks it's okay. Our first experience

of an electric, sporty, shaped car. Oh, yes, no, that's gone wrong, has it? Yes, a lot to get used to, and on my first nighttime drive, I offered to pick up a friend to take to our book club Christmas party. Sounds innocent enough, doesn't it? She was standing on the pavement with a platter in her hand. Now, this is back to the cinema in the dark. I took the platter to put it on the back seat and got into the car, only to find that she had her right leg and bottom in the car, but couldn't bend low enough to get her head in Yeah, that's uncomfortable. So what to do?

Well, she says, I've seen enough TV shows to know that you put your hand on the head and with a gentle push you get them in. My reaction was to laugh, but the laugh was on me when at the end of the evening, we left to find neighbours admiring my brightly lit car. It was still in park and had been quietly purring happily. All those hours I was at my book club Christmas party.

I'm not the only one who's done this, am I? She says, I don't know. I don't know, Ross. That means, yeah, if you've got an EV, you really must be very careful to turn it off properly, not to leave it in park. Definitely. But we assume that you did get home okay,

that you had enough puff to get you back, enough charge. I mean, honestly, it's, I've been around my sister a lot lately, and, yeah, there are a lot of conversations about that bloody EV. And whether or not it's got to be charged, whether they'll, where they'll go to charge,

where the one charge point is more efficient. Don't feel the need to share it in real time. No, I mean, it's... With all of us. Look, obviously, EVs are the future. But bloody hell. Yeah, it is complex at the moment. It's quite a challenge to have what I think.

But I really... I do understand your friends struggle to get in one of these low-seaters. They are quite... Especially if you're holding a platter of food. Yeah, that'd be too much in it. I can't understand how you do it. Anyway, let us know.

It was one of the... for young ladies, wasn't it, back in the day when they went to posh secretarial college or finishing school, that you'd have a lesson on how to get out of a sports car without showing your pens. Valuable, valuable, valuable lessons in life. Now, can I just say a very quick hello and thank you to Kay, who's listening to us in Hamilton, New Zealand. No accent is available for that. You've sent us a delightful link to a photo shoot that's Simon Cowell's new project band, called December the 10th has done

and Kay says, does the theme remind you of a certain fashion shoot? And this is because you're all on line bikes. Now, if you are finding that you are having to experience a really dismal January that's now lurched into February

and there's no sunshine in your life and you just need a little bit of a pick-me-up, a little bit of a tonic, something that'll make you laugh. If you search Jane and Fee on line bikes, then a picture comes up that is so hideous. I justify you not to be jolted out of your reality for a couple of moments

and you feel free to laugh at us because when we saw that picture, the only thing that we could do was laugh at ourselves too. Kay says, I may be a 62-year-old woman, but as a musician myself, bass and cello and sometime harmony singer, I think these young men sound great. So this is the band that Simon Cowell has put together. You know, I wish in the best of luck. There are seven of them.

I watched a tiny bit of the Netflix documentary. that Simon Cowell did about putting them together. And like I say, I wish them luck. Simon Cowell, I'm just not so sure about him, Jane. Really, really, really, really not so sure about him. I think that's a reasonable position. Yes, I mean, I don't think he's ever going to listen to this podcast. But he does open his documentary saying one of the motivations,

the main motivation of him going back into the boy band business was because his son Eric is too young to have known him in his pomp and heyday. And I just thought... Poor Eric. I just thought, what? What? I mean, you know, just let...

What's that got to do with the price of fish, love? I mean, you've had a... You know, you've had a child when you're 768. Take the flag. And poor Eric, if he's going to be expected, you know, one thing that's expected of him is that he's got to applaud his dad all the way through his life.

I just don't like that. Why have children other than to let them appreciate your greatness? Well, yeah, I mean, it's not the moan motivation. It's not the main motivation, really, for coming to work, is it? To make yourself look great in front of your children. Or maybe it is, I don't know. Not normally, no, no. Let's bring in our guest.

We should take it to MAB today and tomorrow, by way of contrast, very, very brilliant journalist called Steve Croshaw, talking about prosecuting the powerful. Essentially, it's about war crimes. It's fascinating stuff. Shall we introduce today's guest? to wait till tomorrow for that. Okay, here we go.

Emma B has had a tough time of it. Breast cancer surgery, the pressures of aging parents and kids. So at what point did she get up of a morning and think, I'll tell you what will help all of this. I'll start training to run the London Marathon. It's a question at the start of her podcast, where she talks to other people who have run or are planning to run the race. And Emma B has made the long journey down from three floors above us at Times Towers,

where she DJs for Virgin Radio. She has quite the music pedigree, originally working for creation records alongside Oasis and primal scream. And for years, Emma presented Sunday surgery on Radio One. So you are a proper radio lady. Welcome to our studio. Thank you. Proper radio ladies. It's lovely to be here. Thank you for having me.

Quite often we see you on the little screen as we come in because we've got screens of all the other studios available in the building. So it's very, very nice to see you here in person. Well, thank you very much. Shall we start with that question? And when was the morning when you got up and he thought, yeah, 26.2 miles, that's going to be me. That was never anything that I got up and thought at all. I've never got up and thought that. I've never, I've always been one of those people that stood by the sides, like many of us,

cheering from the sides and cheering for people, fans, friendly, you know, friends and family and colleagues. And just gone, off you trot. Fabulous. Good for you. You're going to feel great at the end of this. That's magnificent work. And I can't remember once every go. kind of going, it's for me. And then, and then I got sick. And then I got sick. And I had what could only be described as a breakdown and my life unraveled. It just unraveled. Everything, personal life,

career, health, friendships, everything just unraveled. And I spent the best part of three years on the sofa watching telly, drinking too much red wine. And, and, and, and slow, slowly by slowly with a lot of help and a lot of support and a lot of very kind people. I kind of managed to get my, you know, up off the sofa and out the front door. And it was offered to me as a challenge. And I, you know, and I'm a bit, I'm precocious at the best of times. But, you know, I kind of, I really normally would have just gone, yeah, totally. Why not?

Let's, let's do it. And instantly regretted it. And on this occasion, I'm just the person who said, do you run? and I said no and they said, have you ever thought about it? And I said, there's this opportunity. And I was starting to feel, for the sort of six months, I had felt more like myself than I had in 10 years.

And I felt stronger and better. And I'd lost a bit of weight. And I was, you know, doing a bit of just getting up and doing things. And I went away and I thought about it. And I thought about it really, really, really long and hard because it's, it's, you know, it's just disrespectful to all the people

that, you know, try and get places in the ballot and train religiously for it and, you know, want to do it to not take something like that seriously. So I did, I went away and I thought about it and I thought, if now, when, if not now, when? I think one of the things that happens when you unravel and things go really badly is that structure and challenges, structure and something to focus on is always super, super helpful. I am appalling without structure around me. And certainly when I'm, you know, in the depths of when I was in the pits and really super depressed. And I wasn't working, not having a structure compounded that massively.

Yeah. What do you think it is about running? Because you're by no means the only person who has found a real salvation in running. You know, it goes from the very simple bits which are being outside, you know, literally being outside in the elements, whether that's fresh air. you know there's that's the simple bit of it right through to um finding time carving out time for yourself um carving out time for yourself and saying no this is what i'm going to do at this stage in the day and that's not for because i need to because i need to do anything there's not it's not attached to anything do you know i mean you go shopping because you want to look nice because there's something that you're going to or you go to everything has strings and there's no strings to it's not

you're not doing it for anybody else but yourself right through to the obvious health benefits right through to those buzz words like you know mindfulness and being in touch with your breath and and you know focusing thinking not being stimulated by anything else other than you know what's going on around you and so it's a it's a it's a raft of things but i am starting to when i get a bit stressed or anxious, kind of going, you know what? I'll put my shoes on and go for a run, which is extraordinary for anyone who knows me.

And that's taken. So I started in October and that's so it's taken until how many months to kind of start feeling like that, which is interesting. Do you run, I was going to say naked, but I meant actually without listening to anything. Yes. So, you know, because I couldn't do that.

No, well, I'm, I didn't think I could either. And then I didn't think, and I've always run with music. I'm a music person. I've always run with music. And then we did a 10K race the other day and I got a medal. And I didn't run with any music then and it was lovely. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was, it was

really nice. I think sometimes when the going has got tough, I've definitely turned the music on, but, you know, I'm trying lots of things. And that's the lovely thing about the podcast as well. It's sort of this gathering information exercise to kind of go, what do you

do? What helps you? And we've been asking all these questions about it, whether people run with music or not, whether they run with their specs on, whether they run with, you know, contact lenses in. And it's a very unexpected surprise of mine as well that it's a very welcoming environment. People want to share. And you don't spare the horses. I mean, you're quite honest about having two bigger Chinese and then going for a run the next day. And that haven't worked out before you ever at all.

Honestly, it was a dreadful idea. Don't have the Chinese in a beer the night before. No, let's not do that. Let's not do that. But I wonder about that pressure because, I mean, there is a huge amount of pressure on you to run in the London Marathon. Whereas, you know, an awful lot of people will completely hear what you're saying about what running can bring to you. But they haven't got that thing at the end that is saying, and you've got to show the world that you can do it. Yeah, and I'll be honest with you as well.

I think it's really interesting in these days of, you know, social media, which can be a blessing. It can be a curse as well. And the last week I've really struggled because you get bombarded. instantly by running content, 80% of which involves girls who are perfect and are 25, and that's what they do for a living. And, you know, one of the things that we wanted to do with the podcast is, you know, it is a big sweaty mess of a podcast. It's a big sweaty mess of a race. And I, you know, I don't want to be around people who will walk a bit and who will run a bit. and I want to be around people who are not chasing PBs

and trying to do it in certain times because what it's brought to me is, you know, I don't know about you guys, but sport was always presented to me in two ways. Firstly, at school as something competitive. And I was never picked. We did a bit of netball, and did a bit of tennis messed around because you had to.

I hated athletics day. I hated Sports Day because I couldn't run and I was always beaten. I never got picked for first teams. and then as a way to lose weight. So there are the two ways, the two ways that sport has always been presented to me is this way that you kind of, you either better yourself, which means look better, improve the way you look or win.

And that is ludicrous. And that's a ludicrous way to view something that is really, really enjoyable and really good for you, no matter how good you are at it, you know. And is there a danger, though, in entering something that is above your ability? Do you worry at all about that? I mean, look, Fee, I can walk it in eight hours, so I'm relying on that. Okay. Do they let you finish the course?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can. I think there is, you know, and that's why I really, I did really, really think about it. And, you know, I'm training a lot. I went to the GPs, anybody who's starting something like this, go and get yourself checked out. Please don't start trying to run marathons if you've got, you know, high blood pressure and heart issues and stuff like that. You must, you know, go and get all those.

And you're doing this with British Heart Foundation. Yeah, and we're doing it with British Heart Foundation. And, you know, there are, there are obvious benefits that are talked about a lot about physical exercise for people going through, whether you're recovering from cancer and a diagnosis and treatment. I think the thinking on that is changing quite. rapidly as well is that you know there was a time when rest rest rest rest was was the advice and now actually an amount of movement is being encouraged and the same with the same with heart

disease as long as you it's all under the guidance of medical professionals and you know what you're doing um you know the the event itself means to me that it is something that i have committed to and taken seriously consistently for a certain amount of time that makes me feel so much better. I can't even tell you. And I can't remember the last time I did that. If you are running to have time to yourself, does it worry you that you're entering a race where that is the last thing that's going to happen to you? And I'll tell you for work. I've only ever done one kind of long distance thing and it was a swimathon. And it was a very, very long swimathon. I think it was 100 lengths or something. And I'd enjoyed, I'd enjoyed the build-up to it and

the training for it so much because like you it was a place that I could go to where nobody could phone me. I went without the kids. You know, it was just lovely, lovely me time. And then I remember turning up in the pool on the day and thinking, I could not have got this more wrong. This is hundreds of people. Did somebody keep your goggles off? Up somebody's feet with somebody up my feet. It was such a different environment. And I thought, how stupid am I not to have thought that through? Do you think that. Do you know what? I think there are two different things.

There's the training which means one thing to you. The day is a celebration, isn't it? The day is a celebration. I've swam amongst lots of people in a race before it's hideous. It's scary and hideous. And I think you kind of just, what, so Chris Evans from the breakfast

show on Virgin Radio. And him and... Just don't give them any more published. Yeah, I know. But you know what? Consistently everybody who says that they run the marathon just so the day itself is life-changing. And whether that is because you are for one day

part of this massive community of people that have all done the same thing, whether that's because you're raising money for friends and family who've been through stuff, whether that's being in London and just celebrating this great city and pounding the streets doing something really difficult. I don't know, but absolutely,

absolutely everybody has said it's life- changing and who wouldn't want to kind of dip you toe into that a little bit. Well, we wish you the very, very best of luck for that. And obviously the podcast is taking you all the way up to the London Marathon. So for people who are involved in it or you want to maybe think about entering it in future, that it's absolutely the place to go. Can we talk about music, please? Yes.

Because I wonder what your thoughts are about the changing nature of the female voice in music, whether it's doing this in a studio, playing other people's music, whether it's being the talent themselves. Because you started your music career in a very, very blokey place. Oh my God. Creation records, that kind of time, that kind of 90 sound, the boys in the band, big hairy guitar bands. I wonder how it seems to you now.

I mean, how good was the Grammys with Olivia Dean and Loli Yard. I think Lady Gaga got up and spoke very passionately about female musicians and writers really working hard and being brave to hold on to their ideas to not be swayed in studios to try really hard to do that, to surround yourself with people who are going to enable you to hold on to your ideas, to learn how to produce, to write, to really dig down and lean into ownership. of your music and i think that's happening a lot more i mean it's fabulous that not you know the the lights of olivia dina she is so prolific and smart um and i can't wait to see what happens with her um you know i think the i think also with you know there was a very sort of standard way of being perceived as a female musician in the 90s early 90s um and everybody you know then before Britpop happened. And if you were going to be a female musician, you were going to be a pop star and you would be dressed and media trained and you would end up looking and sounding like Britney Spears

and you would read the script and that would and that would be it. And I love the fact that you can have women who look like Chapel Rowan who turned up to the Grammys with her fantastic nipple dress that she was wearing and covered in tattoos and she's an absolute powerhouse of a writing animal. She's incredible. And so clearly it's working. I think it's going to be interesting to see where Glastonbury goes next year. In terms of a female headline. In terms of a female headline. They've got to have to, haven't they? Well, we all thought it was going to happen

last year. Potentially it could have been three and it wasn't. So, but I think it's time. I think it's going to be, you know, you could quite happily have three across the Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I think so you know, it's going to happen at some point. but I think the I think if you it's been lovely to see and it will happen at the Brit Awards as well

in February that the women will do really well I think it's such an opportunity to celebrate what's happened isn't it? I completely agree and Jane and I have been watching the take that documentary not together separately we're not married

we're just an on air couple it's all nods and she spins this line does she? Yes, it's really leave her alone me of one of the things one of the things that I've really noticed is when they pan to the crowd, you know, when they were huge, huge boy bands back in the day, back in the day, you know, it is just wall-to-wall screaming young girls.

And now if you pan to a crowd with Chapel Rhone, it is the same young, young screaming girls. And you just think, what a fantastic thing has happened within a generation that that kind of influence has been recognised and is commercially viable. It is what headlines reading. You know, it really is a place to be. isn't it a comfortable place to be

for young independent women in the crowd or on the stage? Yeah and also I mean you know the nature of big record companies now has changed significantly and you know what's also really lovely to see is that so many young artists are

releasing on their own labels you know that's how they're starting off and you know there's a sheet everybody talks about the big record deal it's a massive pressure if you're signed by a huge record label for hundreds of thousands of pounds on the three album deal to try and keep that going

and they're so savvy now about how you kind of introduce yourself and whilst I think you know people of our generation kind of go what do you mean they launched a record on TikTok it is so organic you have to work for that that those are the you know those those are the stages of the small music venues

that don't necessarily exist and are profitable anymore they work for that and it's a fantastic way to get their way up there can we talk about one of the downsides of being a woman you had a horrendous encounter with Wayne Cousins, the man who murdered Sarah Everard. He exposed himself to you. I think it was back in 2008, wasn't it?

You reported it to the police. What happened when you reported it? On the day. Yeah, and subsequently. So I was coming home from dropping my eldest off. I had my baby in the buggy. I came past. It happened.

I went into the nearest shop. I could go into and they laughed a bit and I said can I stay here until they until he's gone and I just stayed there and then I got home and I called the police immediately and they came over and took a statement and and they they we went into some great detail the detail of which was what carried it forward to be investigating again further and all the way to CPS and they thought it was quite funny and they thought it was awkward and embarrassing and what do you mean funny they laughed so they thought it was an amusing incident that had happened yeah yeah yeah I mean

you know if for anybody who's been in the in a similar situation when somebody exposes himself to you and you report it you you describe what happened. And they, I don't know whether they felt awkward or, or what, but they laughed. And at that point, I said to them and my husband remember saying to them, I hope that's all he needs to do. What subsequently happened? When did you realize who it was that had indecently exposed himself to you? I saw it on the telly like everybody else that, you know, that shocking, horrendous. those news reports. And I said to Damien, I said to my husband, I said, that's him.

And I recognised him immediately. And we worked out who to speak to, we spoke to them. Eventually the police came over. We spoke again. I was interviewed a number of times. And it formed part of their investigation. It was a really long time ago. and they took it all the way to CPS.

But I think by that point, it had sort of run its course a little bit. But the reaction that the police officers had to you initially when you were reporting that, that is such a dangerous place, isn't it, to be in where you think that something like that is funny and whether or not it is because you're embarrassed that you don't want to have to describe something you've seen,

whatever it is. It's not Benny Hill in the bushes. It's not that. No, he was, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And if, if, if, and, you know, I feel, I, I, that's why I, you know, it was, it was dangerous. Yeah. It was dangerous. It was dangerous and it was aggressive and it was purposeful.

It was intentional. It was designed to scare me. And, and it did. And it is often behaviour shown by men who then progress to far, far worse. That was, I mean, I, you know, and I've said it before, I've not saying anything that I haven't. said before, but, you know, he was, he was a dangerous man. And I remember very clearly saying to the police officers, I really hope that's all he needs to do. Because it very, it was very clear to me that that was not going, that was not a man that was in any shape of form finished. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry

we had to go there, but thank you very much indeed, Emma. And lovely to talk to you ahead of the marathon Keep us posted. And you'll be with this next year then. Yes, of course. Almost certainly. Of course, definitely. Excellent. I've got both fingers crossed, but I'm back. But lovely to see you in the studio.

Thank you very much for coming in. What is the name of the podcast? The podcast is called I Can Run a Marathon and you can watch on Virgin Radio YouTube and you can get it on Spotify and Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And Jamie, he's listening. Yes.

Emma B put up with me for a day when I came in to do work experience at Radio One. She won't remember, but she was very kind. Oh, Jamie. Oh, gosh, thank goodness. Yeah, well, exactly. He wouldn't have written if you've been an. absolute moom. I'm sure you wouldn't have been. Emma B, I can run the marathon. I can run a marathon. Can I run a marathon?

Bloody Elphy! Is a marathon available to me? Can I go for a small jog? This podcast is available if you simply type Emma B into any podcast provider. And best of luck to anybody who does sign up for a marathon. It's not in my skill set to ever be able to do it, nor to really feel great about myself for having done it. But I'm... I hugely admire people who do manage to do it. And the site of the London Marathon, Jane, is a joyful thing. Oh, it is. It's really wonderful to watch.

So all hail to you if you're doing it this year. Running across those cobbles, there's a bit where it's all cobbled, isn't there? Yeah, I just think the stamina of the people who do it, the people who do it for charity and those daft outfits. I mean, it's just mind-boggling. It's completely an utterly different world. So well done if you're part of it. Yeah.

I would equate it to watching Marty Supreme, actually, and getting to the end. Which you didn't. Right. No, see, that's the problem. I would, you know, I'd be very, very tempted to just stop for a couple of buns halfway around the course on a marathon. Bye-bye now. Congratulations.

You've staggered somehow to the end of another off-air with Jane and Fee. Thank you. If you'd like to hear us do this live, and we do it live, every day, Monday to Thursday, two till four on Times Radio. The jeopardy is off the scale. And if you listen to this, you'll understand exactly why that's the case. So you can get the radio online, on DAB, or on the free Times Radio app. Offair is produced by Eve Salisbury, and the executive producer is Rosie Cutler.