Off Air... with Jane and Fi - I admire his menopausal spirit...

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

It's a new week, and today's revelatory episode explores conflicted feelings towards musicians, school reunions and the mysterious disappearance of Jane's air-con unit... If you want to come and see us at Fringe by the Sea, you can buy tickets here: www.fringebythesea.com/fi-jane-and-judy-murray/And if you fancy sending us a postcard, the address is:Jane and FiTimes Radio, News UK1 London Bridge StreetLondonSE1 9GFIf you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] next book club pick has been announced! We’ll be reading Leonard and Hungry Paul by Rónán Hession.Follow us on Instagram! @janeandfiAssistant Producer: Hannah QuinnPodcast Producer: Eve SalusburyExecutive Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It was octogenarian bottom jiggling. Yes, OK, yeah. And we didn't need it, Rod. I mean, you know, your back catalogue is extraordinary. Your back side. Just leave it at that. I'm Will Kelleher. Join me and Alex Lowe for The Red Lions, a special three part series

on the history of the British and Irish Lions from 1950 to this year's Tour of Australia. With first-hand accounts from the players themselves, it tracks the rancour and revival of rugby's greatest touring team, the Red Lions. Memories, music, match reports and more available wherever you download the Ruck Rugby podcast from the Times. It's Monday and it's hot and everybody's just got a bit of a cob on, haven't they? I mean it's just, and we also should say we're doing it after the radio show so it's four in the afternoon. It is four and I apologize because that is because of my family's needs and I appreciate it very much indeed. We have to go to a thing this morning.

Thank you for appreciating it. Yeah, it's quite alright. Nobody minds. But there will be a different feel to the podcast because as we came to realize actually about six months after we've been doing it here we just don't have very much energy we spent darling, after the live show, absolutely spent. Just give so much. So we thought we'd do it in the morning and it's much better you know we get a nice little bob on in the morning so our apologies but we think that you will completely understand and also if you are in the UK at the moment, particularly in the south of the UK at the moment, then you won't want more babble than about 22 minutes because it's so bloomin' hot, your brain will fuse after about 18.

Yes, I can't wait to plunge into the underground system after this and just get a whiff of it all over again. The Jo Malone scent they'll never make. What's the Jubilee line? The Jubilee line in late June. It's still June, isn't it? It is only just... Flaming June. It's still June.

Right, now look, can you believe that we already had, considering how people complain about Britain's postal service, we've already had a card in from Dastoe. Oh my god! I know, look at that, isn't that lovely? And we must start there. This is not really a, well it kind of is a topical podcast because we touch on topical events. But there has been one email just about Rod Stewart. So shall I read it while you just compose yourself? Absolutely. But shall we say hello

to Becca because she's 33, she's not glamping, she's tired but she's having fun and she says I'm sure Eve will send you a Glaston postcard. I bet she will. She won't. But I thought I would too as I love you both in the pod. Well that is so kind and actually to have taken time out. Do you think they have lots of post boxes on site in Glastonbury? Well it's funny because my daughter also sent me a card from Glastonbury.

Really? So I've never been more surprised to receive a postcard in my life. That's so old school. I know. I was rather touched. So yeah, obviously they do have loads of postboxes. I wasn't even sure she knew where to put a stamp. I thought you were going to say I didn't know your address. She's very cruel. No, I haven't moved just despite them. That's horrible isn't it?

There is some sort of urban myth that people would move house and not tell their children. That's wrong and no one should ever do that. Right, Elizabeth says, it's not even over and I'm emailing you. As a reminder, it's 2025. Can someone please tell Rod Stewart what was it with those girls in the dresses? Can you imagine an 80 year old woman being given the legend slot to be accompanied by a dozen scantily clad young men in their twenties? Well I can because if Madonna does the legend slot that's exactly what she'll bring with her. That is true. They're writhing her dancers. Okay are they

writhing young men? Yes, they're quite frequently on the floor. Get up! Get up! You're on stage, get up! There used to be quite a lot of writhing. I didn't notice much on stage writhing this year. But maybe I missed it. But, I mean, it was an absurdity, wasn't it, in Sir Roderick's

performance yesterday afternoon. So I didn't see it live, I saw it when it went out again, about 7 o'clock, eight o'clock last night. Were you watching it live? Yes. And? Because you were a big admirer of Rod. You've always spoken very positively about him. Well, Rod gave an interview the day before Glastonbury. Yes he did. I wondered about Rod, I'm a bit disappointed love, actually. He revealed a political largesse that I didn't think that he currently held. He wanted us to be forgiving of a certain politician in this country who I'm just dubious about. I understand that lots of people are finding reform an attractive political destination. I think they've yet

to prove themselves and I think sometimes the way that they do prove themselves is in a way that I don't approve of. Have I been kind of balanced enough in saying that? So I was really annoyed with Rod because I thought look you've got your back catalogue which I like. I quite admire his eight-year-old spirit. I like his dedication to the menopause. I think actually Jane, to be serious for a moment, I know he likes a lot of women and he has liked a lot of women. But actually his ex-wives seem to get on and his children from his multiple marriages seem to get on and he seems to have managed to do something or within the family and let's give credit to the women in the family

here they seem to have managed to create something that not everybody manages to do and and he's given lots of money to scanners in the local his local NHS authority because they can't afford it so I I like the Rod Stewart. The twerking he did. I had to have a moment, I really did. It wasn't so much twerking as... what was it? It was kind of... It was octogenarian bottom jiggling. Yes, okay, yeah. Yeah. And we didn't need it Rod. I mean, you know, your back catalogue is extraordinary, your backside is. Just leave it at that. Back catalogue, tick, backside.

Also, actually, some of the songs don't really work in 2025. So I was listening quite attentively to Maggie Mae, for instance, which is essentially the story of a young man being abused by an older woman. He's still a bloody school and you know, it starts with him saying, oh I should have, it's late September and I really should be back at school. I mean you think, oh, hello, there's a 20, 25 klaxon has just gone off here. Is that alright anymore? Was it ever alright? Apparently it was. No but I think if you're going to throw that dart at him you can equally throw it at that entire generation of singers. Oh yeah of course I suppose that's true. You know, lay lady

lay lay across my big brass bed. It's probably not the finest lyric of all time. It's one of your favorites from Bob. Bob, Bob. Really can't stand Bob. Yeah, but you haven't, I mean, do you think I'm sexy? I've asked you this on a number of occasions and I've always been cruelly rebuffed. But I'm asking it now in the context of Sir Rod. Yeah, but isn't that a song in the third person, not the first person? So he's not saying, do you think I'm sexy? It's a story about a woman saying, do you think I'm sexy? It's a story about a woman saying, do you think I'm sexy? You're being so balanced, you're now going through a positive phase. Yeah, I just found it a little bit difficult actually, if I can be honest, but I'm sure

if I give it time, you know, a little bit like a chicken pox, a little bit like a chicken pox bleb, then it won't scar. Elizabeth, actually, she's on a roll she hasn't finished. Can you imagine if they then brought out another 60 something woman to murder a song they brought out Mick Hucknall the audacity of these people taking up the space. I'm so glad the girls were allowed to look after the crowd while Rod was getting his saline drip and changing his outfit. Of course the girls sang

Vule Vucuxe Avocmour, didn't they? Yeah. Which wasn't exactly a feminist moment. I didn't feel they did sing that. They sang Proud Mary, didn't they? I thought they sang Vule Vucuxe Avocmour. Crikey, well one of us is wrong. All right. We've looked at poor Hannah who's in charge of the podcast today and she's like don't involve me in this. I just want to say she's got to get to the theatre so she needs us to be quick. This is like the old Mauve whistle test. Then Elizabeth says Ronnie Wood comes on. Great! Because we need some more old white men. Yeah you are forgetting Lulu also came on. Now she is ageless. She's certainly got energy hasn't she? Do you know what upset me actually is that everybody else on stage had dressed up and it was quite a

dressed-up set so Rod's band you know were wearing white ties, Lulu had this amazing shimmering thing on. She did look great. And Rod's backing singers, much more than backing singers actually because obviously they're very talented playing instruments and everything. They look absolutely beautiful. Mick Hucknall came on and I'm sorry you're going to have to laugh at this because I've already said this I'd apologize I'm going to say it again. You know when you wet yourself at school and then you have to wear the school clothes that come out of the cupboard. That's what Mick Hucknall looked like. Just wearing some misshapen jeans and a t-shirt with a weird lightning bolt on it. Just like love. But did you not read the memo? He's in a suit. Yeah. And they look beautiful. He's Mick Harknall, okay. He's keeping it real. He's got a good head of hair.

He did. And Rod's hair was absolutely magnificent. Anyway, I think we've dwelled on Rod Loggins. Okay, well that was, that's our Glastonbury up some. I thought it was brilliant. I mean, other things went on at Glastonbury, but we're not talking about any of them. And if you did go, I'm genuinely interested in hearing what it was like. From a more mature perspective, apparently the average age of an attendee is very late 30s.

So it isn't a particularly youthful event. No, that doesn't surprise me at all. You couldn't afford it, could you, to be fair? Because when they pan across the crowd, you do think actually the delicatessens of North London are emptied. I think they were. You'd know more about that than me. Libby is not alone in taking me to task. Well done for having a crack at pronouncing the word eustachian. It's a tube in your ear. Here's a phonetic way to say it, eustachian. Looking forward to seeing you at Fringe by the Sea in North Berwick. It's a lovely wee

town North Berwick, even if it rains. Take care, says Libby, who adds, a strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink. Yeah, I think you're absolutely right there. Quite a few of you have emailed in to say strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink. Yeah I think you're absolutely right there. Quite a few of you have emailed in to say what an amazing young woman Jess is. Well she was just so impressive wasn't she? This is from Sue, do you want to read that one? No you go for that one. Jane and Fee, how moving it was to hear the appalling stories of children leaving the care system

mid-exam period. I mean you're very right to draw our attention again to that Sue, I was really shocked by that. I listened and I sobbed for them all, how can this happen? In the year school transfers are so difficult, different stages of the syllabus, different courses, who can put the brakes on this happening now? Surely somebody can. I know you have both like me done the parent thing of attending taster days with kids, loading up the car with belongings term after term. I have such lovely memories those days and now I'm sitting here feeling so heartbroken for these children. I want to ring my children and remind them how lucky they are. I hope they know. Congratulations to your amazing guest on

surviving and succeeding. I feel I may not be the only one crying listening to her. Jess was really impressive and if you are still mystified as to who Jess is, listen to Friday's bonus edition of Off Air because you can hear Jess talking about her experience of leaving care and trying to fend for herself at an age when so many of us couldn't even have begun to and I just thought it was a really really impressive story of life. She was a really eloquent woman. We really wish her well and quite a few of you did email in the program and text the program when we talked to her live on air to say well you know come off it you work in a news organisation. She had done broadcast journalism at university and achieved a first-class degree and quite a lot of listeners said, well, you know, you should be able to find something for her there and we are going to keep in touch with Jess because as Carol

simply says, what a woman and she certainly is. Now, do you remember saying this? What we can't do is assume that there aren't washing machines in the spirit world. No, I don't but I tell you what I do have my moments. But then so do you. So this is from Max who is keeping track of things that they like when we say them which is just quite a funny and it's a very complimentary thing to do as well. I hope you're keeping track of all the absolutely rubbish things that we say too. One of mine is here, Plutarch, well he can go and do one. I don't remember saying that either,

but it's the kind of thing that I would say. But I often like to conjure up the greats in my average conversation. Keep up the terrific work says Charlotte Odair, who had to write in on the subject of names. I've always loved my name, Charlotte, but had I been born male, I think things would have been rather different. My parents thought that Benedict would have been an acceptable choice. No, not a typo for Benedict, but Benedict. Of course, some men of a certain age are comfortable being called Dick. I'm now a therapist, but I used to be an arts producer

and regularly took musicians into schools. One of these was a Richard who called himself Dick. Before our music session with a class of 30 15 year olds, I was writing our names out on sticky labels. Shall I put Richard? I asked him meaningfully. No, no, Dick is fine, he replied. He then, seemingly obliviously, tried to engage with the aforementioned 15 year olds while wearing the big label saying dick. You can imagine the hysteria. Keep up the terrific work. And that's just stupid, isn't it?

It is very, very, very silly, yes. Just very silly. So I, at the weekend, had my school reunion. Oh, how did it go? Well, I'm going to use the adjective poignant and that's I think probably I'll leave it there. But it did. Have you done? Have you done one of those? No, see I'm just hopeless of going back to things Jane, hopeless. Well, I think I can understand your reluctance because it does, it churns things up. There's just no doubt about that. It really did and I should say the people I met and you know in some

cases I really hadn't seen or spoken to them since a summer's day in 1982 so it was quite something to see some of them again. It really was and but of course the people who turned up for this event at the weekend were kind of self-selecting so there were people who were in good health were able to get there and know, it's not a given by the time you stagger to my kind of vintage. And there were some women there well into their 80s who'd been to the school as well, so it's closing as well, and I think that was what made it sad because, you know, we walked around the building and I could hear some of the lessons. Strange, because I wasn't really listening when they were taking place in the 1970s and 80s but I was right back there and yeah it was it was fascinating and quite strange and also rather

touching. So there you go if you were there as well you can you can let me know Jane Envy at Times.Radio how you felt about it and if you've been to a school reunion as well let us know whether you felt it worked for you. Because, yes, I do understand why some people might just not want to confront, is confront the right word. I think it is. And I think, you know, there's comparison is the killer of joy. That's the expression, isn't it?

That as soon as you start to look at other people's lives and go, oh, I don't have that, they have that, or I, you know, the other way around, then your ability to just really enjoy your own experience can be diminished. And A, I'm wary of that. And also, you know, I'm not saying this in a self-pitying way but not everybody's childhood hasn't had bumps in it. Let's put it that way. Let's just throw it out there. Is nostalgia overrated? Should you always feel that you need to revisit that kind of experience or is it perfectly reasonable to just think,

been there, done that, would prefer not to go back for a string of quite positive reasons yes things entirely reasonable yeah and like you say it's a self-selecting mindset isn't it to go back and I think if you haven't thought it through and there's some stuff that you've quite purposefully left in in your childhood then I mean it's a bit bio-aware that one. I just want to say actually one of the people I did meet on Saturday was a woman called Julia, she won't mind me mentioning her name, whose mom had been my Girl Guide captain and I just thought the world of this woman because she was so plucky she used to take us on these incredible

to be a Girl Guide reunion, and I was just so chuffed to discover that she was so plucky. She used to take us on these incredible It's got to be a Girl Guide reunion, hasn't it? camping trips. And I was just so chuffed to discover that she was all right. And so, Julia, lovely to see you. And I know I did say to you, but do give my love to your mom, because she was a great woman. Couldn't you have,

couldn't you organise the Girl Guide reunion and have your second cigarette as a tribute to it? I know. And she took her first drag on the Isle of Man. She took her first drag on the Isle of Man. She took her last drag on the Isle of Man. Never revisited that experience. Never wanted to. Well, OK.

But that's also, that's the other thing about reunions is Sombug has got to organise them and that person's never going to be me. I'm not an organiser. OK, noted. This one is a serious one and it's from Claire who says, on Wednesday's episode of the podcast, Fee mentioned the idea of using a different word instead of sectioned because it sounds scary

and evokes strong associations. And I just wanted to share that, in my experience, it really is that scary. I've been sectioned three times, each time it was terrifying. I was placed in a lock building with no freedom and the experience left me feeling stripped of control and incredibly vulnerable. Even now just thinking about it makes me physically shake. I don't think there could be another word." I completely and utterly take that on board, your experiences, the valid one there, and I hope that things are better for you now. And I'm sorry if some of the conversations actually on the podcast have brought back some stuff for you.

Well, there's another email here from Liz, who actually I think began our conversation about being sectioned. She said, if you know somebody, and I do think this is an important point actually, who is currently an inpatient on a psychiatric ward, they will really appreciate a visit if that's at all possible, or maybe just send something nice in the post. It's no fun being in hospital, whatever the reason is, and psychiatric wards in my experience can be even bleaker. Although maybe don't do what my lovely mum did when I was once an inpatient in a London hospital and she came in and she brought me a copy of Time Out to read. did when I was once an inpatient in a London hospital and she came in

and she brought me a copy of Time Out to read. Now when I pointed out that I wasn't going anywhere she said cheerily, well it'll give you something to look forward to. I really do think she meant well but a copy of Cosmo would have been even better at the time and if you know someone who's struggling at home with their mental health then ping them a card or a message or ring them up just to keep in touch it really would be appreciated. And finally, may I throw down a festival gauntlet, she says, maybe a pack of metaphorical wet wipes to the hive mind. Has anyone heard anything more middle class than a friend of my husband's who was at latitude and overheard the following words drift over the tents one morning.

No India, that's daddy's yakult. That's brilliant. I think that's a winner. So on the subject of eavesdropping, we read this one out on the programme today, Catherine, but we're going to read it out on the podcast too. Catherine says hello from Kendall. Booths are a small chain of supermarkets in the north of England which they say is the northern version of Waitrose. A few weeks ago I watched a couple

park up in my local booze car park. The man hurriedly got out of the car and started dashing towards the supermarket entrance. His partner stayed in the car but then she obviously remembered something so she quickly opened the car door and shouted after him, chocolate! He stopped, turned round and shouted back across the car park, percentage! Just priceless. By the way, Booze removed self-service checkouts from most of its stores prioritising staff checkouts. I love that they listen to their customers. We were talking about that on the programme this afternoon as well, Catherine.

We were trying to stop being quite so perturbed about AI, because there was a story today, wasn't there, about the number of entry-level jobs that simply don't exist anymore, because they are being done by AI. But we were trying to look across the horizon of hope by saying that actually, you know, booths realised that they were not pleasing their customers

by doing the self-service checkouts, put the humans back in. Maybe customer service will have more humans in it than the chat bots currently trying to help me mend my barbecue. Well, on that fascinating note, my air conditioning unit, what I talked about last week, never came because we had one of those, I'm going to say mix-ups, where according to the well-known app, it had been delivered and signed for by me, only it hadn't. So where is it? Where is it? Now do you think that that's human error or do you think the air conditioning unit has been taken hostage by an AI bot? Well I then of course fell into conversation with somebody I assume was a bot in the early

hours of Saturday morning when I couldn't sleep. This often happens, darling. Quite often, yeah. Increasingly in the heat I find myself chatting to bots. About 10 to 4 usually. Anyway, this bot, if it indeed was a bot, has promised me a refund. So look, who knows? Actually, we did have a very spirited email just saying, stop using this service. You know, you shouldn't be using it. You shouldn't be ordering things online. To which I say, well,

especially in the light of the phenomenally romantic Venice wedding, It's difficult isn't it? My modern life has evolved to the degree that I do find myself appallingly dependent on exactly that service. Not proud of it, just being honest. I find that quite funny about you actually because I would have thought that you were exactly the kind of person who would really like the interaction of Robert, your local Robert Dias, who would be able to point you in the right direction, into the right aisle, have a little chat with you, help you with your bags. I would have thought that you would be drawn to that. I am drawn to it and I always talk to people at the checkout, but if you want something like a Fox repellent spray, there's no doubt it's useful. I'm just saying.

Yeah. Although I think Robert Dias would probably have that. Matt says, no Mari says, my choice for the playlist we're gonna have to get this done would be One Day Like This by Elbow a great sing-along and it reminds me of the 2012 Olympics I definitely have that as well that's a brilliant brilliant song and the guy Garvey he was a he's a proper glass dough figure isn isn't he? Now he is good at festivals, don't you think? I would believe so. I thought Jarvis Cocker was amazing. Did you see his set?

I didn't see that. He was very good. I didn't see it. I've never been that keen on pulp. Have you not? No. Gosh, this is turning into a revelatory podcast, Jo. Helen is in Austria. I was listening to your Wednesday podcast

while driving home from work in Austria where I live. You talked about the problems of alcohol on flights and how airlines react and I thought I must tell you about our experience recently on an Air France flight home from the Caribbean. We took off from St Martin in heavy winds, I wouldn't fancy that, and had to make an unscheduled stop to refuel on Guadeloupe. Gosh, this is so exotic isn't it? A journey of 20 minutes. After what seemed like an unnecessarily long wait, the pilot calmly broadcasts that unfortunately one passenger would be leaving the plane and we'd all have to wait for his luggage to be located and taken from the hold. A passing stewardess informed me that the said passenger was already so drunk that he'd become aggressive and extremely

unpleasant and was therefore being removed entirely from the flight. Now at this point five burly armed Caribbean policemen marched down the aisle and proceeded to march the guilty party, now quiet and embarrassed, in handcuffs the entire length of the plane and off at the front into custody. We have no idea what happened to him, but I imagine he'll never forget this humiliation and he probably had to pay a huge fine to the airline for all the delays. After two hours we eventually took off. Maybe more airlines should follow suit, says Helen, who is still in Austria. I would expect you would be fine but I don't know.

It's a really good question. I wonder whether you are and it would be very helpful to hear from people within the industry as to whether or not the person who creates the chaos is the person who picks up the tab because you're right those landing fees would be huge. Absolutely colossal. And then you've got to change everything at the other end. And there's some poor souls that get into the roots and toots and hold and find the flaming luggage that corresponded to the bloke who's drunk. Shocking. Absolutely shocking. Lauren Sanchez, well she's now Lauren Bezos, do you think she'll take his name? Very independent woman.

She just needed to put a top on. What was she wearing at the wedding? She just wore a series of underwear, but you know very very couture structured bodices and things. She's got the most amazing body, absolutely amazing body. I have never seen a 55 year old with that kind of body. What are you saying? Just remarkable, absolutely remarkable. But I saw too much of it over the weekend and I hadn't even really gone in search of it. And the thing that I just found really wearisome,

Jane, and because you couldn't escape it this weekend, I don't follow their feeds or any of that type of stuff. I mean, it just came up absolutely everywhere. It's just the way that they were waving to people, like they were elected officials or popes. And that's just bizarre. I mean, he's done very well for himself, Jeff. I'll definitely give him that. And she's done very well for herself.

I'll give her that. But the waving, it's just, would you know how to wave at a crowd like that? We're imbecilic. When we've done our little stage shows and stuff, we're so hopeless at the end, we fall over each other and we don't know whether to bow or just walk off or whatever it is. Or just cry. Where do you learn to do that? Yes! Absolutely marvellous, marvellous, marvellous waves. I don't know. I think somebody very clever just pointed out that they just don't seem

to have any genuine friends, which is why they just... Well they don't, exactly, because where a lovely, you know, Dom and Deirdre, who they shared the school run with, you know, 30 years ago, and they really got on well with, so they had some splendid barbecues on a bank holiday Monday and kept in touch ever since. Is that Orlando Bloom? I don't think so. Well it'd be interesting if they ever had some sort of, I was going to say leak in the night, but you know what I mean, a household event, something that you needed a neighbor to assist you with. Have they got Orlando on speed dial?

Or is it Jared Kushner who comes to that rescue? Jared Kushner, he might do. He looks like the kind of bloke who'd know his way around a wrench. Right, I think due to the heat and the fact that the studio is required by somebody else. And Tehana needs to go to a performance, she's a very cultured young woman. Yes, indeed. Thank you for bearing with. We'll reconvene tomorrow then. Our guest tomorrow is Deborah Haynes, who is defence editor of Sky News, which is quite a serious proposition, but she's brilliant and she has written this not exactly cheery podcast that I have devoured called The War Game. But I'm hoping for some positivity from Deborah tomorrow, because in temperatures like this, none of us are fit for war so it can't happen. Debra bring some joy please if you possibly can. Your thoughts on anything

we've discussed at all. Jane O'Fee at Times. Radio. Good night. Congratulations, you've staggered somehow to the end of another Off Air with Jane and Fee. Thank you. If you'd like to hear us do this live, and we do do it live, every day, Monday to Thursday, 2 till 4 on Times Radio. The jeopardy is off the scale and if you listen to this you'll understand exactly why that's the case. So you can get the radio online on DAB or on the free Times Radio app. Off air is produced by Eve Salisbury and the executive producer is Rosie Cutler. Music