Off Air... with Jane and Fi - I think the orgy was in Welsh... (with Andi and Miquita Oliver)

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

Jane and Fi are 'bigging up Britain' and some of their suggestions are a bit of a stretch... Do get in touch if you can do any better! They also cover wild wees, mass risotto and sizzling sausages. Plus, mother-daughter duo Andi and Miquita Oliver discuss the new series of their podcast 'Stirring It Up'. Our next book club pick has been announced! 'Missing, Presumed' is by Susie Steiner. If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] us on Instagram! @janeandfiPodcast Producer: Eve SalusburyExecutive Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I thought, well, is that rather pretentious to travel on the tube with a picture of myself on my tote bag? I think it's daring. And guess what happened? Nothing. Nothing. Yes. We can chat later, will we? I'll just lay the law down there.

That's our leisure. I think we should just warn people, Jane's maybe a little bit testy because she's had to eat her risotto, I think, at a speed that was a little bit... Basically, you've had a 1.5 risotto. Actually, it could have been... Well, it might even have been a 2.

Really? Yeah, but I tell you what, this canteen, I've said it before, they do their winners. It was mushroom risotto today with a rocket salad. That's nice. And, yeah, because it's always, you've got to be just the right side of unctuous with a risotto, haven't you?

I think they succeeded today. Yeah, and I think in canteen terms, when you're making it for hundreds of people. Well, there's a small part of me that would like to see the vat of risotto. Yeah. Because it must have beaten in a massive, massive... And it would be doing that lovely kind of lava bubbling, wouldn't it? It's quite... I wonder how you cook risotto en masse like that. Mass catering of risotto must be really difficult.

They do it sometimes, don't they, on the MasterChef episode where they go out into the world and they have to come up with, it's always the vegetarian alternative. Someone goes, mushroom risotto. And Greg and Jonty Rhodes have to affect surprise and enthusiasm. I think it's season 761. And it's still popping up.

It's still popping up, yeah. But yours look nice, so that's good. That reminds me, the guests on the look nice, so that's good. That reminds me. Yes. The guests on the podcast today talking of food. Nice. Andy Oliver and Makita Oliver, who together do a podcast, and Makita does another one with Lily Allen. In the interview, she did say,

she's not actually that... I think she said she wasn't keen on podcasts, and then it was gently pointed out that she currently hosted two very successful podcasts. She corrected herself. And then she really blotted her copybook towards the end and called me Fee. But I love meeting those two because they just deliver. They're just full of beans.

And so it was lovely to see them and you can hear them a little bit later. Would you ever want to have that kind of front-facing, media-facing relationship with one of your children? No. I mean, it would be no. Absolutely no. And more, if I were them answering that question, it would be no!

So that would give you some idea. You wouldn't do that, would you? No, I wouldn't want to do that to my children at all. But I think they're a very rare mother and daughter combo who can do that. And anything that I've seen them in together is just lovely. It works.

Because they do have a nice little kind of bicker as well, don't they? There's no gloss in that kind of relationship. They're showing all the bits and pieces. So brilliant. That is a lovely, lovely one to look forward to.

This comes from Joe who says, so pleased to hear Jane say how wonderful Lost Boys and Fairies is. Stumbled upon it yesterday, watched all three episodes with a plan to then bore friends and family with how bloody marvellous it is. A beautifully observed, wonderful mix of humour,

fantasy, tragedy and the Welsh language. Yes, it does. Honestly, it's like on paper. Like nothing I've ever seen before. But that's great isn, it does. Honestly, it's like nothing. On paper, it does. Like nothing I've ever seen before. But that's great, isn't it? It is, yeah. Did you chomp your way through a bit more? I finished it.

You finished it? Wow, okay. It's actually a bold attempt to make all of that on the subject of adoption, which you wouldn't necessarily knit all those factors together to make a successful program but i do urge people to have a look i mean as our correspondent goes on to say actually there are some scenes that perhaps are um slightly explicit well they are explicit uh so you probably it's not for the under 18s well joe says was a bit of a shock to my 19 year old to walk into

the kitchen in the late afternoon to catch me apparently watching male orgy but hey ho he'll live I think the orgy was in Welsh Is it a bit damp? That's not Welsh. I don't know what that was It's not Welsh

So Katrina on the subject of TV wants to talk about L'Agence, marketed as the Parisian agency in English. And Katrina has devoured all four series. That is dedication. That is dedication. Hang on, this is the French estate agent? It is, yeah.

And it's dedication because obviously it's a very formulaic programme where they go round a couple of things in every episode and then they go back and you just have these one-on-one shots of all of these very, very easy-on-the-eye French gentlemen talking about property. I don't know if you've reached the part yet, Fi, where the family starts forging a business relationship with Daniel Daggers, who's the, I think, I don't know, strangely likeable twonk who appears in the Netflix London version, which is called Buying London. Daniel appeared a couple of episodes in

and evidently decided that he fancied some Netflix action himself. And Katrina, I wondered whether Daniel Daggers had done his one first. I couldn't work it out, but they're all in cahoots together. If the Parisian agency is a deep-fried camembert of a programme, the recently released Selling London, I think it's Buying London, isn't it, is more of an overheated Dairy Lee triangle. Gone is the warmth of family connections,

gentle flirting with customers and elegant nights out. Instead, affable as Daniel himself appears to be, he is perpetually baffled as to how his completely hands-off management style has created a team rhythm with rivalry and drama. Who, incidentally, also seems slightly unsure whether the dress code is a state agent or escort. I love this. What?

Who is this? Who is Katrina? She's brilliant. That's who she is. The properties themselves are so self-consciously super-prime, to coin his favourite phrase, they all have a bland bling uniformity and are probably only bought for investment or money laundering

purposes. I just love this. Katrina, can you review lots of TV programmes for us? Yeah, keep them coming. Because this is just brilliant. And Katrina says, I've still been recommending it to friends as it's enjoyably car crash, but Parisian chic it certainly isn't. And she puts in brackets

from Katrina, who's just realised this mail isn't going to help your big up Britain request oh yes I've forgotten about bigging up Britain come on everybody no emails came in on bigging up Britain not yet but we've got a weekend ahead of us of poor weather so you'll have plenty of time to be inside and to compose your let's big up Britain email I don't know i should run the parliament what would you what would be your top three oh well in at number one is without question the spirit of defiance that i mentioned yesterday on the on the times radio program two till four monday to thursday uh we are the filling in an andrew neill and john p and r butty and what a

way to earn your living that is, by the way. We went to Callum MacDonald, who's on tour, or was on tour yesterday with the Times Radio election bus. And he had gone to Grimsby. Yeah. And there were three groups of people having a day out on the beach behind him. It was grey. There was certainly a suggestion of rain in the air. And I think the temperature was about 11 Celsius. It was windy yesterday. And, yeah, more than bracing. And that's in at number one for me. Because that's what makes Britain.

So what would you call that? The spirit of defiance. Okay. Yeah. So we'll put in at number one defiance in brackets. Beach stoicism. Yeah. Permanently beach ready, whatever the weather.

What's number two? Number two. Well, I'm going to say it for you. It's our sense of humour. Okay, that's good. Yeah, this is good. Because we do, as a nation and as a wonderful potpourri of a country, make fun of ourselves, laugh at ourselves, send ourselves up.

And I think it's a wonderful quality. And in at number three, food. Food. Okay. Just all manner of food. Well, I've, I mean, not just the canteen food here. But the, although I have to say I could make a case for it. But no, the, the range of food. I mean, obviously things have improved during my lifetime because, as Fi is likely to reference over the coming weeks, I will shortly be 195 years of age. She will. But I just don't think you cannot complain about the range of food on offer in most major British cities right now. Excellent.

So you've got defiant sense of humour and food. And these are all very good things. They're probably not going to bring that much extra tax funding into the Treasury, but they're good things. No, because that's not what we do. The politicians are very busy doing economic growth. Not what we do. Oh, we're going to grow the economy here.

I would put in at number one, soup. In at number two, woolens. And in at number three, bitching. Right, OK. Well, bitching is a little bit sexist so we want to include the men in that we don't want them to be neglected or feeling left out okay but you know kind of um i think i think we do sarky meanness quite well i'm not an advocate of it but we do it quite well let's go to australia briefly you can please please pick up britain over the weekend

ping us an email jane and feefee at times.radio. Ruth is no longer in Australia, she says, actually. I was amused, though, she says, by your interest in the Australian sausage sizzle. Tying in with your discussion of compulsory voting in Australia, there's always a democracy sausage sizzle on polling day to make it more rewarding for the voters. It's a good idea, Jane. It's always run by dedicated Jane. It's always run

by dedicated volunteers. It's simply a barbecued sausage wrapped in a slice of cheap white bread. One of my friends always wears her special democracy sausage earrings on polling day. If my local polling station was offering some kind of hot fried snack yeah there would be a queue around the block more people would go simple as that well maybe they ought to think about it i think they should yeah maybe that can be uh your job in retirement you can get the democracy sizzle uk going yes okay you seem very keen for this retirement to have interview i'm here to tell you i've never felt more energetic right uh now i don't want to i don't want to criticize one of our listeners but i'm going to this comes from eleanor who's got one l when she signs off but two l's in her email address i don't know which is right but she says changing voice could you repeat the details of the live show at

the barb, please? Oh, gosh, I suppose we can. Obviously, this comes with praise. Let me know in which form you need it. Well, I mean, just copious form, really. Can you remember when the show's on? It's definitely in February. It is. It's a Tuesday night in February. And I think you'll be able to find the details online.

Yeah, I can't remember it either. But look, we've got a decent run up at this one. So back with more specifics uh another time a little bit like me attempting the long jump in the forthcoming paris olympics we've got a decent run-up we certainly have uh beverly has sent a very lovely email which is called elections ticks and caravans she's got two early election memories one is my labour-supporting grandmother calling the local Conservative office, asking them to pick her up and take her to vote. She'd then spend as much time as possible fiddling around at the polling booth, voting Labour in the hope of at least preventing a couple of elderly Tories from casting their votes before closing

time. My other memory also concerns my grandmother grandmother who was so furious when the Conservatives cut free chiropody, thank you, treatments for the elderly, that she got my dad to help her collect her toenail clippings, put them in an envelope and sent them to Margaret Thatcher. Now Beverly has moved on to Australia and wants to congratulate the... As public as the authorities are after her entire family. The formidable, wonderful women who put people before power and politics. She lives in the constituency of one of six teal independents, high-achieving alpha women who've knocked ex-Prime Ministers and high-profile Cabinet Ministers

out of their previously safe seats. And I'd like to hear a little bit more about that. So is that a party that specifically targets men to get them out of their seats i've not heard that i haven't heard about it we'd like a little bit more info on that if that's okay beverly and also thank you very much indeed well just the other bit was last election lots of young men turned up to vote wearing nothing but very lurid budgie smugglers. It turned out that the brand had promised free budgie smugglers

to anyone providing photographic evidence of the wearer exercising their democratic vote wearing their attire. I'm going to throw that over to Jane Garvey for her retirement plan as well. Well, hang on. By the way, I must stop saying hang on. I say it far too much.

I was going to just make an obvious reference to a sausage sizzle again. Well, you knew that was coming. Yeah, you can combine the two. I wonder if any young man, or indeed older gent, will be bold enough on election day here in the UK to attempt to vote in Barchi Smugglers. You never know. We could be in the midst of a heatwave by then.

We could be, but I think that that is a dangerous... Would you be allowed to vote? ...gauntlet to throw down. I wonder whether they'd let you in, you know. I don't know. I mean... But, of course, people are doing their postal votes all the time. I think now you've got your vote if you've got a postal vote.

So, I mean, you could just... You could do that in your pants. You could stage a protest and do it in your pants. Yeah. So this tiny little bit is important from Beverly. Regarding ticks, the best way to get rid of them is to freeze them. We actually have a tick-off spray in Australia, but the generic product used for freezing warts works as well. And I do love an email that details an important part of the suffrage movement

budgie smugglers and also some very helpful pharmaceutical advice well done you yes well yes bev you've just ticked every box wonderful uh this email uh is from an anonymous correspondent who does say you have to keep me anonymous because i'm already going to have to do a weekly walk of shame. I'm late to the discussion, re-pet pushchairs, and I've only just listened to the episode with people writing in their defence. But I just wanted to share something that happened to me recently. On my morning dog walk, I often run into a little family of two small girls and a dad clearly on their way to school drop off. We always do the nod smile hello

interaction that you do with familiar strangers last week mum was with them and she was waving them off as she took a different path we exchanged pleasantries and then spying what i took to be a cat shifting uneasily behind some mesh in a pet in a pet push chair i I said, we won't. Why is this so funny? I don't know. It's because you know the ending. Some mesh in a pet push chair. I said, we won't disturb your cat

and took my terrier away down the path. Come this morning and I meet them again. Mum also present. As I got closer, I noticed she was pushing what was undoubtedly a baby. She seemed to walk off speedily before I reached her, as in fairness you would under the circumstances. OK, well, sometimes when babies are born,

they can be... You get babies that are covered in more hair, don't you? It's possible that that... No, you're making this so much worse okay forget it it's like when you're trying to defend people with varicose veins i wonder why i defended people with varicose veins they're very painful you don't sound very sympathetic right Right. To that anonymous correspondent, I'm sorry that you mistook a cat or you rather mistook a human baby for a cat.

Oh, dear. I just think sometimes your BBC training comes out. No, it is. It's this wonderful need to put a kind of very sensible and reassuring... Middle England, don't worry. I've got 13 years. I know.

You can't... You don't lose it overnight. It can take another 13 years to get rid of it. I know. In a couple of years' time, you'll just cackle and move on. Here comes Hayley. Hello, Jane and Fee. Love the Pod have been listening to you since lockdown in the old place.

As someone who grew up in Basingstoke, the name of yesterday's pod piqued my interest. But as someone who's also lived in Sydney for a time, I can categorically say you couldn't pay me to live in Canberra, but I would move to Winchester in a heartbeat. Now now we'd like to know a little bit more about because as jane we were talking about this in the office before we came in here as jane so correctly pointed out we don't have adverts in this country saying you know if you're in basing this don't move to winchester um so what what are the ads why what's wrong with canra? How much do they pay you to go and live there?

And do lots of people do it? Is it a successful campaign? Is Canberra so spectacularly dull that nobody wants to live there? It's the capital, isn't it? So is it a kind of administration hub? It's full of folders. And not much more. Yeah, it's all paperclips.

And no one wants to spend time there. Are there no fun times in Canberra? I'm more interested in how much you get paid to move from Sydney to Canberra. You're all over, isn't it? It's all about the money. Yeah. Eve, thank you for what was an audible snort.

It's the other way around. Oh, what a middle-class wanker I am. Can we say that? Yeah, well. It's come in from Andy. A couple of weeks ago, you had a topic about how boring Vancouver was. It spurred me to make a list.

That's because Andy's in Vancouver. Good. Skiing, accessibility of nature in the raw. Helpfully, he's put, or she. Bears, cougars, beavers and coyotes. Stop it. Stop it. Politeness, sobriety and cleanliness.

Under bad, underlined. He could go to Canberra, couldn't he? Yeah, he'd be very happy there. So far from anywhere else. No castles or cathedrals. Weird politics. Housing affordability. Radio.

Try and find a radio drama. It's almost impossible. I'm increasingly uncomfortable with being a settler. Well, that's difficult, isn't it? Yeah. I wonder how serious he is there about being increasingly uncomfortable. Yeah, and I tell you what, I mean, Andy could be a she. That's true.

Could be an Andrea, couldn't it? Honestly, you don't know anything these days. Lots of people have been kind enough to point out that New Zealand does indeed make chocolate. And apparently your favourite brand is called Whittaker's. When you go into the supermarket, there are aisles of it. It's delicious, says Claire. Eat your heart out, Switzerland, she says rather boldly.

They do flavours like almond gold, hokey pokey and pear and caramel. Pear and caramel. Can't see that working. Pears are very gentle flavours, aren't they? They're so gentle, they're not worth bothering with. Honestly, don't. Why would you? I don't know why anybody would have a pear.

Claire says they even flew Nigella Lawson over here to make ads for it. They must be minted. That's Whittaker's, the New Zealand chocolate bar manufacturer. Nigella Lawson gets around, though, doesn't she? Yes, she's a global ambassador for many things. Last one from me is from Susie, who is sending us an email from recovery in hospital from a knee replacement operation

and is feeling a little bit stir-crazy and I'm glad that we are keeping you company, Susie. Susie, in paragraph three, Jane, she says, don't send me a tote bag. Don't need one, don't want one. I'm sure your tote bag is a high quality. She just doesn't want one. She's got enough.

She's just got enough. And I like that admission, as I think most people by our age, I don't know how old you are, Susie, I'm sure your tote bags are high quality. She just doesn't want one. She's got enough. She's just got enough. And I like that admission, as I think most people by our age, I don't know how old you are, Susie, I've got enough tote bags. I've probably got about 26. I went home last night because I had a lot of books. Well, that's good. And that's new, by the way. Yeah.

Go on. I went home on the tube last night and I had to take Woman of the people One of It's like getting one of those pools where you have to swim against the currents I got on the tube last night with a tote bag that I'd taken from work I said to Eve, could I have a tote bag? She just couldn't have given one away quick enough

because she's sick of the whole tote bag thing already and I thought, well is that rather pretentious to travel on the tube with a picture of myself on my tote bag I think it's daring and guess what happened um nothing nothing yes you're absolutely right I love the day to day chit chat returning to Susie

and even more that I know you'll make me laugh I'm a similar age to you and your observations about those life essentials like pants glass ramekins and whether you can take your bra off with one hand are a source of genuine joy whether you can take your bra off with one hand are a source of genuine joy. Yes, I can take my bra off with one hand and take it off without taking my shirt off first. Ooh!

What? Was my party trick as an 80s teenager and university student and it's one of the first things I taught my teenage daughter. Along with how to take a wild wee. Both very useful skills for women. Thank you for saying nice things about the podcast, Susie, and I really hope that your knee replacement operation is a success and you start to feel better soon.

If you've got time, could you just tell us a little bit more about how to take a wild wee? Because it can't be more complicated than just a squat and a whittle. I think there's probably a technique. Whether everyone could acquire that technique, I don't know. And a shiwi, I don't know, I've got one.

I'm not sure I've ever actually used it in the wild or, in fairness, anywhere else, I think. Because I have a flushing lavatory at home. I'd be happier for you to use it in the wild than in the office. Do you know what? You always think with performers, there's a degree of eccentricity that would be tolerated. I wonder if that...

But not that. You're probably right, right? A quick mention to Mel, who... I don't know whether this is in reference to our current Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, here in the UK, is having, if we're honest, a very torrid time fighting the election campaign. And whatever you think of him, it's tough.

I think it's fair to say. And he was asked this week whether he'd had to go without anything in his youth and childhood. And it's a really difficult question to answer, isn't it? It's a horrible question. It's a hard, hard one. I don't know what I'd have said

because I wasn't deprived of anything. I desperately wanted, if I'm honest. He came up with a rather daft answer of Sky Television and has been absolutely taken to task for saying it. Anyway, it's a bit of a tough one for any politician, I would wager to suggest. But Mel says, We didn't have a toaster until the early 1980s at home. Toast for breakfast was always cooked slowly under the grill on the cooker.

So childhood toast came in two varieties. One, the very burnt, and therefore requiring the charring to be scraped with a knife into the bin. Remember that sound, she says. The smell lingered for days on your school uniform. Or B, toasted on only one side. Butter was then hastily spread on the non-toasted side. My mum called this French toast, and we thought it was very exotic.

I now realise that we always had French toast if we were late for school. It was just mum's way of hurrying up the breakfast routine. She really should have been a spin doctor and not a hairdresser. Mel, thank you very much for that. That's rather a lovely memory, and I think your mum sounds highly inventive. I mean, I think to call half-cooked toast... French toast is clever. ...is an absolute winner.

And she does sound like a lost to politics. But no doubt she did a wonderful cut and dry. Cut and blow? What's it called? Shampoo and set? Cut and blow dry. Cut and blow dry, yes, that's it. The sad thing about the Rishi Sunak What Did You Have To Go Without question is that before he said the sky dish, cut and blow dry the sad thing about the rishi sunak um what did you have to go without question is that before he said the sky dish he did say uh my grandparents came to this country with

absolutely nothing so in our family uh you know over the course of two generations there were lots of things that we went without and he also said my parents went without lots of things in order to send me to the school that I went to. And he was a scholarship student at Winchester College, but he would still, you know, have had to pay quite a bit of money to be there. And all of that is sliced off because he then said, sky dish.

And you do just think we're quite cruel as journalists because you can see the bit that's going to make the headlines and make everybody cower or laugh or whatever it is. And the other bit's just a bit boring, so we'll put that bit in the bin. It is a rufty, tufty old world. It really is. It isn't fair. And this is a rufty, tufty election. And, I mean, it just makes you wonder who on earth in the next generation will want to go into politics.

Well, just to be balanced and going back, you're right, I can't get it out. Do you wonder who on earth in the next generation will want to go into politics, Jane? Well, just to be balanced and going back, you're right, I can't get it out. It's just, I can't, I have to do balance. Keir Starmer, the Labour leader, was mocked last night in a debate on television when he referenced yet again the fact that his dad had been a toolmaker. And I'd be really interested to hear from listeners abroad about whether your uh leading politicians backstory that particularly their

parents jobs are they frequently referenced do they matter and do people care if someone is deemed to have come quotes a long way to attain or to hope to attain power and to get to the so-called top i don't know well i mean I mean, in Canada, no, because Justin Trudeau was part of a dynasty, wasn't he? Yeah, America's had quite a few dynasties. Huge dynasties, yep. So it's a good question. Yeah, we'll chuck it out there.

Yeah. And be as, you know, political as you like and Jane will balance it out. Putin, of course, is just so wildly popular. He just keeps winning elections. Well, yep, he was... What was that terrible anecdote about him and a rat? Oh, he's supposed to have killed a super rat

on the stairs of his tenement building. Because he saw in the rat's eyes something that he recognised in himself. And it was either the rat or him. You see, it's not so bad in Britain, is it? Which is why we're bigging up Britain. Get in touch. Now, they are the most successful mother and daughter showbiz combo ever.

They're like Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher, only with more laughs. They're British and they've got great food. Andy hosts the Great British Menu, and Makita's TV career started when she was a troubled teen, and she now co-hosts the hit podcast Miss You with her real-life best showbiz pal Lily Allen and together Andy and Makita work on the podcast Stirring It Up.

This is where celebrities get fed and watered at Andy's home and then just can't help spilling all their beans. They both, that's Andy and Makita, have a ferocious work ethic, they're great company and they both talk a lot as you're about to hear. Andy first. I'm a biterocious work ethic. They're a great company and they both talk a lot, as you're about to hear. Andy first. I'm a bit chatty. I'm a bit chatty, a bit too chatty, probably. You know, like deliriously tired chatty. Deliriously going, just waffling on about stuff.

And she's like, stop commenting on everything. I'm like, isn't that what you're supposed to do? I thought that was... What, in life? Yeah, comment on things, have opinions and thoughts, but apparently not all of them are relevant, Jane. And you are... Are you the only person who can keep your mother in control?

She can't keep me in control. I can't do that. I wish that was my role. No, I don't... Who can keep you in control? Nobody. Nanny? Oh, yeah, my mum.

My mum still has the ability to go, and you're all over, and I go, yeah, like that. So you sit up. But, yeah. Nanny lives with my mum still has the ability to go and you're all over and I go yeah like that so you sit up but yeah Nanny lives with my mum now my mum and my stepdad and it's been quite interesting

because there's quite a lot of moments where I see the child in my mother because I've spent a lot of time with my nanny but not really

with my nanny and my mum because I was with my nanny a lot over summers and stuff so yeah I think that's where the child

Andy comes out when Nanny says anything. It doesn't even have to be turning you off. She's like, Andy, what's this? Sorry, mum. Can I just say, I think that's really interesting. So I'm nearly 60 and I'm still a child. My mum and dad are still around, which is great and interesting.

And there's a different dynamic, isn't there? Yeah. Can I ask, how old is your mum? My mum is 87. Right. And you're still her baby. Yes. Yes, apparently. it would appear so

the other day she came up behind me and she was looking at me giving me this look she had her hands she's a ex-school teacher my mum she had her hands behind her back she was looking at me like this and i said why are you looking at me like that and she went i'm trying to compose an answer and i said what to and she went i don't know i can't remember yes i said but i annoyed you she went a little while ago but i can't remember what it was about i'll be back when i've worked it out and then she just stalked off i was like what is going on um now you did mention i know you're both super busy but andy you did say this is a particularly busy time for you and you've chosen it and it's fabulous but so what are you up to so i've been i've just got

back from antigua a couple of weeks ago and I'm leaving again on Sunday. Makita's coming out on Monday. Is this for another documentary? No, it's for a pop-up rum shop project that I've been doing in Antigua. It's a 100-day pop-up rum shop to celebrate Restaurant Week

and it's the Cricket World Cup. The Cricket World Cup, Jane. And they're having some of the matches in Antigua. And different chefs are coming out there to cook with me. Tommy Banks is coming next week, who is a chef that I work with on Great British Menu, who's also a huge cricket fan. So he's beside himself.

Oh, he's going to lose it. He was going to be a cricketer. And then he got ill and became a chef instead. So he's beside himself with excitement. And we've been celebrating caribbean food and culture and it's in a point of quite um historical significance on the island called fort james which is where all of the different colonials sort of protected what they thought was their land um they used to call it the gateway to the caribbean because from that point it's the it's the first point you hit in the Caribbean

when you come from Europe, is that spot in Antigua. So it's this high point and there's still the old ruined fort and the cannons are there and stuff. So I think it's quite important that African diasporic Caribbean people stand in that space and take it up and speak our name and do loud, brilliant things there. It feels really good to kind of claim the space. It's powerful, Mummy.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I mean, the reason I mentioned the documentary is because I thought the stuff you did in the Caribbean, the documentary there, was just fantastic. Surely, Makita, you're going to do more of those. Travel is really something we want to do more of. And we're kind of doing it and thinking about different ways to do it.

But I've also been really busy with the stuff that I'm doing and mum I mean we we are just getting by with the stuff that we're doing we're just managing

to do all that to do it all at the moment but I think probably after the summer we'll be doing travel again yeah okay there are plans afoot definitely

I'm really glad to hear it and also we love it yeah we are busy sorry going on about being busy, but we do actually love being this busy and there are a lot of things that we've been building for a long time that are sort of blooming and in fruition now and it feels

really beautiful. You know, hard work really does pay off and the reason we work hard is because there are a lot of things we want to do in this big world, in this, you know, sometimes shorter than you think life. Well, yeah, absolutely. So you've got to take every chance you get. Can I just ask you, Makita, is there an element of competition? So you do the. Well, yeah, absolutely. So you've got to take every chance you get. Can I just ask you, Makita, is there an element of competition?

So you do the podcast with your mum, stirring it up, very enjoyable. You lull people into a false sense of security, get them round. With food and booze, correct. Yeah, and then it all starts coming out. And then you do your podcast with your mate, Lily Allen. Now, which one's your favourite?

Which one do you enjoy doing the most? Oh, no. What a question. I know, I think it's just very strange Now, which one's your favourite? Which one do you enjoy doing the most? Oh, no. No, James. I know, I think it's just very strange to have two of the most personal relationships of my life so public. Yes, well. But, I don't know, I love them for different reasons. I mean, I really love staring up because of our team

and a lot of the people we work with in all the things we do come together to make Staring It Up. I love the idea of like throwing these dinner parties of and giving people we feel like we give a lot to people when they come to our house a lot of love food energy safety warmth and that is sort of they respond in a particular way because they don't feel like they're on the interview trail and they're just at your house are they literally at mom's yard um so that has all its beauty on its own but miss me is a whole different kettle of fish because it's just become

this thing this huge beat him off of a podcast which i don't even really like love podcasts but now i'm doing two that uh sorry did you say you don't really love them but now you're doing two that are both really successful she said she said that Romesh. And then he went, looks like you do. Looks like you do. But I didn't understand the power of them. And now I've really begun to understand that. Podcasts insert themselves into people's lives in a really particular way, which actually is quite different to people

sitting down and watching on the telly. And I'm old school because I've been doing this for 25 years. So I just believe that on screen is where power lies. But actually, I've really learned the power of a podcast podcast and i love how much it's sort of threaded through everyone's lives especially with miss me a bit like you i've had to learn about podcasts and the power of them and and the the intimate nature of them means that you do find yourself saying things that you would never dream of saying jay you don't even know well i this episode have you even listened to well I was about to say

I mean I kind of do know no no no I'm talking about an episode we just did yesterday and I was like am I actually going to talk about this

but I just look up and I see Lil and I go yeah sure I'll just talk about it and then you just go and then they send you the edit back you're like no that's an episode

that's an episode but do you remove stuff quite routinely do you know what not really more like as a producer I want it to sound better and I want it to move quicker or at the better pace. But no, I don't take out anything because it's too truthful.

I think that's the good stuff. How is Lily doing? Because I've always thought of her as someone who was, in a way, deliberately misunderstood by some parts of the British media because she's a very clever, very clever woman. I think she has written some of the best songs of the last 20 years and I really do mean that. What's the one about London, LDL?

You see, I can listen to that on a loop. And then there's another beautiful song she wrote about having a little child and then leaving them to go on tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's called Three, is it? Yeah, I think that's on her fourth album. Yeah, so you know i i but then she was a wild child she was the daughter of celebrities um and it all went a bit pear-shaped for it how does she feel about all that now i think lily was a real product of her time i think why she was so successful was

a product of the time because she was this observational smart thinker who could write about what she saw and what we all saw, but she wrote it down and she knows how to write a hook. And she's funny. She's funny. And what's been beautiful about,

but also a product of the time where the press were... And hard on women. Allowed to tear you apart. Young women, particularly. Young women, especially young successful women, especially young successful women who are good at what they do.

And smart ones that have opinions. Nah. I mean, that would never have rolled. But the podcast has given her this beautiful new opportunity to take her narrative back. And not just the narrative of her story, but just the narrative of who she is, actually.

And because I'm her best friend and she sees me as a place of complete safety, even I am surprised by how just little she's been on this week. Also, you both, like, you just turned 40. Lily's turning 40 next year. Next year. We're still 2024. Lily turns 40 next year.

So, you know, you've both grown up with people watching you grow up. I think that's quite a hard thing to do because they both became successful when they were really very young yeah and did you have qualms about makita's early career because she was really really young well yeah she was 15 makita was 15 when she um started doing uh pop world so it was a bit well the thing is school had gone a bit pear-shaped yeah so it wasn't working and i didn I didn't know, she was on her like fifth school or something. And I was just like, I don't know what we're going to do.

It's just upside down, all sidey ways. And then we got a call saying, will Makita come and audition for this show that we're doing? And they've been trying to audition loads of stage school kids up and down the country and they couldn't get anyone to be natural.

And this woman had met Makita at a dinner party or something. Oh, in 192, this restaurant we used to go to. You know 192? A few years before. I couldn't say. Go on. Yeah, just this place.

And then we'll draw a veil over that. And she'd remember, she said, that kid must be about 15 or something by now. Why don't we try her? And she got my number and called me and Makita went and did the audition and got the job so showbiz saved her showbiz saved her love literally actually and lily's too yeah because we didn't know what we were gonna do with her either completely unemployable it's so true actually alison lily's mum and my mum a lot of the other

parents would be like what are you two going to do about Lily and McGee? Because we would just have been in so many schools. And we weren't naughty, but we were just not, we couldn't settle. Let's say they got into a few scrapes. Scrapes. Well, Jolly Japes. Jolly Japes. It was tomfoolery all round.

Tomfoolery, an expression we don't hear enough. Look, it's a very interesting time in this country right now. I know that for various reasons, contractual reasons, you can't talk too deeply about politics. But how are you feeling, Andy, just about... I don't know, I happened to be in Redcar earlier this week in the north-east of England, and what I sensed there was just that everyone that I met,

and I really do mean this, apart from a couple of the candidates, just felt that politicians weren't worth a lot. I think everybody is fed up of everybody. I think everybody is fed up a couple of the candidates, just felt that politicians weren't worth a lot. They just felt disenchanted. I think everybody's fed up of everybody at the moment. It's a little bit of a rock and a hard place for most people. I think we need

to be inspired as a country. We want some great orator. We want Tony Benn back. JFK. We want somebody charismatic and energised and exciting and thrilling, and it's not really happening, is it? From any kind of corner of the political spectrum.

It's interesting, because me and Lil were talking about the Call Britannia campaign on Miss Me and sort of that moment where everything met at the same time. British music was powerful with Oasis and Blair and Tony Blair was just one labourer in power. Change. Change was afoot. Well, change is the word now.

But it doesn't feel the same, does it? I think, as we said before, the truth just sounds different. Right, OK, so you will both vote. I'm not going to push it any further. You'll definitely vote. Oh, I'm glad, yeah. Do you worry about people who don't, Andy? I worry about people who don both vote. I'm not going to push it any further. You'll definitely vote. Oh, I'm glad, yeah. Do you worry about people who don't, Andy? I worry about people who don't vote.

Because what happens is the people that make the loudest noise, I think, are the ones that worry me the most in the world generally, in America, here, all over the world, in France, Italy, in Sweden, all those scary people. All the people that terrify me make the loudest noise and they seem to be very galvanized so i think there is a there is a whole swathe of people that are sort of in the middle right across the world who are a bit apathetic and that's how we got uh some people in power in america for instance in the first place yeah so because people just went ah

what's the point and it's like there's And it's like, there's a point. And I think there's a huge... You must vote. We must vote. You must take that power. People have died for the right to vote. People have literally laid their lives down for us. We owe it to them to make a decision

and make a choice and vote. You don't have to agree with everybody else. You know, I think that one of the things that worries me in the world is that we've lost the power to have just discourse. Just civilised discourse. It's like someone disagrees with you, it's like, get rid of them! So, oh my god,

they literally just think something other than you. Yeah. You know, and sometimes it's lovely to be proven wrong. You have a discussion with someone, you think, you know what, I'd never thought about it like that before. So Makita can change your mind. Well, I was going to say, obviously I'm not very reasonable like that. But there isita can change your mind. Well, I was going to say, obviously I am very reasonable like that. But there is also a huge sector, Jane,

in this country that don't think that voting is for them or open to them or that it will change anything or create any power. And I think that's something that needs to change. There are some people

who don't even know how to vote or where to vote or what it means because they don't feel like they're spoken to in these conversations and they're usually not yeah well that's the truth

isn't it yeah can we just end with first of all Andy I just think as a woman I don't think I know anyone else in Britain

who owns their look like you do thank you but I've met you a couple of times and you look different but always amazing

I've got my Formula 1 racing thing on too have you? is that a Formula 1? no it's not but that's what I've got my Formula One racing thing on today. Have you? Is that Formula One? No, it's not, but that's what I call it. No, it is. It's an all-in-one driver's jumpsuit.

Like Adidas driver's suit. She gets a little bit like... I'm like, okay. Do you drive? Yes, very well. What have you got? Black car. I don't know anything about cars.

Also, I hate Formula One. It's the most boring thing in the world. I don't understand it. They just go round in circles. That noise is so awful. I don't know anything about cars. Also, I hate Formula One. It's the most boring thing in the world. They don't understand it. They just go round in circles. That noise is so awful. I don't like it either. And I love sport, but I don't like it. I love sport.

What sport do you like, Jaden? Oh, football. So I'm excited for the Euros. Me too. Euros. And the Olympics coming up. I think Britain's going to do well. I'm really excited for that.

We just had Emily Campbell. On Staring Up. On Staring Up. Well, I met her because she was a guest judge on Great British Money. She's incredible. She's the only person, only woman, to ever have won a medal in weightlifting for this country. And she's going to get the gold.

She's going to get the gold. She got silver last time. She's going to get the gold. We fed her. We took a picture of what we fed her so that when she wins the gold, we can say, we fed her gold-winning athlete. We say, fueled by Staring Up.

What did you give Emily Campbell? Oh, I made fresh salted wild sea trout. Oh, yes. I made a saltfish radish avocado like buljol, which is like a Caribbean saltfish salad with little pickled radishes. And I made... And then you threw on a steak, a Wagyu steak. Oh, because I'm worried there wasn't enough food.

She's going, we should cook something else because you know she's a weight lifter she just kept adding parts to the menu she needs protein and I had Wagyu so I made her a Wagyu steak

and then I made these lovely like sweet white sweet potato pakoras and fresh turmeric mayonnaise I tell you what if she doesn't win gold now

on that sorry lumping the pressure on Emily come on Emily she's also can I say one of the most she now she I'd vote for her old now. Yeah, right? Sorry, lumping the pressure on Emily. Yeah, come on, Emily. We've done our job. She's also, can I say, one of the most,

now she, I'd vote for her. Oh my goodness. She's so charismatic, so clever, so funny. So after she's finished with this sport business,

please give her all of the sports commentating jobs. Yeah, we're pushing for her to be the new sports commentator. We are going to represent Emily. She's hilarious, smart,

and just quick, quick, quick. You know earlier, V, you were talking, sorry, you know earlier, Jane, you're going to represent Emily. She's hilarious, smart and just quick, quick, quick. And you know earlier you were talking, sorry, you know earlier Jane, you were talking about I'm so sorry. This interview is over. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. We tried to start it out. No, because I came in and I said, I came in and I said, hello, Jane. No, you were very deliberate. I know who you are.

Unbelievable. I'm so sorry. Just finish your point. And I hate when people get my name wrong. Never mind that. But when we came in, you said that... I can't remember now. Well, that was a good note to end on.

No, I was going to say... Oh, yes. You said you get to sit on this side of the desk and you get to hear all these incredible stories. And that's very much how stirring it up is. I feel like these people come to our table and they tell us these stories and we learn from them and this this series in particular we have such beautiful pillars of um sort of british life and the industry like sandy

toxvig and davina mccall and tom carriage and i felt like i learned a lot and that's when you really feel like you're very lucky to have this job yeah don't you agree jane no i do god i do lc absolutely thank you both very much that's a very good name for all of that from now on good afternoon i'm off makita and andy oliver with makita they're falling at the final fence and calling me fee we'd got on so well we We'd had a real laugh. I loved being with them. And then it all ended so badly. Well, I think the first time that I went to do... Was it Andrew Neill? No, I think actually Andrew Neill has got us

both every time in our trails that we do. But it was Ayesha. She called me Fee Garvey. So we're just portmanteauing in a way that's obviously deeply offensive to both of us yes right we're horrified uh totes a go-go we're going to put the tote winners from this

week up on the instagram as a way of luring you over to look at some social media we will also do a little bit of instering on the book club on monday but if you're thinking of purchasing or you need to put in an order at the library it is suzy steiner's missing presumed and of course people are wondering what about the football what does mystic garth predict what does mystic garth predict thank you for putting me on the spot here so i just you know what i'm going to stick my neck out here i think the scots might get a surprise draw in the opening game on friday night wolf okay playing germany uh and then on sunday uh england and serbia and i'm sorry i think this is nil nil wow okay uh we will check in on monday see whether or not mystic garb has

got a slightly blurry ball or whether she's got a very clear vision uh who've you got in the office sweepstake uh I haven't joined. Oh, no, you have. You've been allotted something. Oh, have I? OK. I was getting ready to come to work and I heard Matt Chorley just say on air the sweepstake. And, I mean, obviously, my ear's only pricked up at my own name.

I've got Germany. Good night. Right. Well, you win. There's no justice. You did it. Elite listener status for you for getting through another half hour or so of our whimsical ramblings, otherwise known as the hugely successful podcast Off Air with Jane Garvey and Fee Glover. We missed the modesty class.

Our Times Radio producer is Rosie Cutler, the podcast executive producer. It's a man, it's Henry Tribe. Yeah, he's an executive. Now, if you want even more, and let's face it, who wouldn't, then stick Times Radio on at three o'clock Monday until Thursday every week and you can hear our take on the big news stories of the day,

as well as a genuinely interesting mix of brilliant and entertaining guests on all sorts of subjects. Thank you for bearing with us. And we hope you can join us again on Off Air very soon.