Off Air... with Jane and Fi - I won't look at my rattan conservatory chair the same way...

Episode Date: October 19, 2026

Jane and Fi are back together! And what’s more, it’s Visualisation Monday. Watch along here to see Fi’s ears getting their moment in the spotlight: https://www.youtube.com/@OffAirWithJaneAndFJane and Fi cover grief and Jane’s dad’s parting gift to her (a rescheduled hair appointment that might just persuade her to embrace the grey), the joyful combination of a roast dinner, Lime bike jousting, inherited knees, lengthy lobes, and the experience of meeting people semi-naked...PLUS, our new playlist 'Hunker Down' is up and running: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5lt3IKncxKGetl1tovCoKz?si=07H_ZQ5mQxqSVAXpmZP3bAOur most asked about book is called 'The Later Years' by Peter Thornton.If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] us on Instagram! @janeandfiPodcast Producer: Eve SalusburyExecutive Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now, can I just say an enormous, enormous, enormous warm welcome to our listeners. To our viewers. Oh, I was just thinking what a lovely thing that was. No, no, mostly to you, Jane. No, you can... Welcome back. Thank you very much. How are you?

I am all right. As people who are regular listeners will know, I've been spending... I've spent time with my dad and he died... Gosh, how many days ago now? He died on October the 8th. So it's nearly 10 days ago. Yeah, 10 days ago. And I know you've lost your dad.

And it's, what can I say about it? He was, let's just be practical. He was 93. He was very, very ill. And I do mean very ill. And I hadn't been specific about what he had had because I'm, as I make very clear, I'm not a doctor. I know I make all kinds of pronouncements.

They're usually utterly wrong. Can I just say that if Jane comes and it costs you on public transport, never take my advice. She's not a doctor. No, always remember that, always remember that. But my dad had neck cancer. Now, the only thing I'd say about that because I'm in no way qualified is that head and neck cancers don't get an enormous amount of publicity or attention.

And when dad had a massive operation earlier in the year, really huge. I mean, he was in the operating theatre for over eight. hours and bear in mind at that time he was 92 we my sister and I were not sure he'd survived the operation and he wasn't sure either and he was incredibly brave to have it and throughout the last year of his life actually he genuinely displayed tremendous courage and I will never forget that honestly it was awe-inspiring he was prepared to put himself through that and then afterwards you know he for various reasons he decided not to have radiotherapy.

And so we did know that it was very unlikely that he'd have much longer. And he didn't. Can I ask you something that might be a little bit difficult to answer? So don't if you don't want to. No, that's right. Do you think he should have had that operation?

Well, we've talked about that. And to be honest, if you get a diagnosis like that at that age, your choices are not, they're not brilliant either way, really. And this, again, I need to make very clear, this is my understanding. There will be people listening to this who know so much more and might very well be able to offer their own expertise and experience and please do. I think he came to the conclusion that it was his best chance.

He knew, obviously, at his age, he didn't, logically speaking, have much longer anyway. And in fairness, it did buy him some time. he actually came through the operation, which was in itself extraordinary. And my sister was with him at that time. And, you know, she just said she couldn't believe it when she went to visit him the next day. He was obviously high as a kite on all kinds of post-operative meds, but eating toast. We just couldn't believe it. He'd had a big tumour removed from his neck.

And he was, so it's just that it's just not possible, I don't think, to survive something as enormous as that for very long. the cancer did come back, which is what he eventually died of. So I just want to say to people that it's not, I mean, I was, I was really glad that thanks to the circumstances, my employers, people like you preparing on Eve and Hannah and Rosie and everybody here plugging along with everything. And the fact that my children are over an age where they didn't require me, I was able to spend that significant chunk of time just sitting. with my dad in his care home. Which we've talked about quite a bit in your absence, actually, because we had this one email from a listener,

and we won't keep mentioning her name actually, because I'm sure if she listened again, well, I would imagine she may have felt thoroughly corrected. You know, on her view that actually our working life was severely disrupted by your personal events, and as we are a public-facing, working combination. Yeah.

That had, I think her word was, that had proved to be insulting to the listener. But so many people, Jane, came to your defence and also have praised exactly, you know, the cohort and our employers, as you've just said, that of course it should be standard

that you can, if possible, spend time with a loved one who needs you for them, but also for you to not be able to be there. And I think it's so difficult for so many people. Oh, it's impossible for a lot of people. They cannot spend that calm time saying goodbye. But what a lovely thing to be able to do

at the end of long life when actually there wasn't anybody else there because your mum had died last year. It would be terrible for your dad to be on his own, James. Well, that was it. Neither my sister nor I could face the prospect of him being on his own at that point in his very, very long life. And look, if he were here now, which obviously he is,

he would be the first to say, what, that was not a bad innings, was it? And for 92 years of his 93, it was pretty bloody good. Did he retain his scow's sense of humour right to the last day? Well, of course he did. Well, actually he did. And that, not possibly for the last 10 days or so.

But I mean, he still had a sense of, humor, I'm sure, somewhere in there. He was still, what I will always remember about him, and it's something I hope I carry through. He still had his manners. So he did have that kind of muscle memory, which meant that when the carers were looking after him, he would always thank them afterwards. And it's that sort of thing that I think has absolutely will stick in my head. That's such a lovely thing to remember. And actually, do you what my dad was exactly the same? I mean, when he was in intensive care, and his heart attack had been so bad,

you know, his brain wasn't fully functioning. But he had retired to this place where he felt he was in a different part of his life. Yeah. And he was always a very, very generous man, too generous, really. He'd always try and pick up the tab, you know, even when he possibly shouldn't. And he was constantly worried when he was in the ICU

about who was going to pay for everything and was everybody okay. And, you know, he was back in that place. way, you know, he was in a restaurant somewhere, you know, in the heart of London, treating all of his old army mates. But it's an interesting muscle memory, isn't it? Yeah. It's good to hear that Ray Mondo. Yes, no, he kept that.

What I will say, unlike your dad, we discovered after my mum died that my mom had been the generous one. I actually, I think she was a generous one. Perhaps hadn't always been, not that he was mean, but she definitely revealed herself after her passing to have been the one who said, we'll get this, you have this, we'll send money to you. So anyway, look, I'm not, I'm not criticizing my dad, who, as I say, actually, was just properly courageous for the last period. But I bet, Jane, that he was thrilled at you and Alison could have been there. Yeah, I hope so.

I mean, I think there were moments when he definitely realized that we were there. Yeah. So, and, but I really want you to make clear that if your parent or loved one part, you know, partner, sibling, die suddenly, you're not going to have this opportunity. But also, Jane, I think too many people cannot get the time off work. I just can't do it. Yeah. Because they're other commitments. Like you say, they've got much younger children or other dependents or they're in a different part of the world. Yeah. So, you know, I'm not trying to dress up your experience as a positive.

Very, very, very, well, in some ways it was. And obviously there are some images that I've seen that I'd like to unsee. But that goes for anybody who's, and eventually those images will pass and they'll be replaced by, and there have been lots and lots of very positive memories and experiences over the years. But it is a privilege,

and it's something that not everybody will be able to do and because of all their other commitments, and I'm very grateful that by pure fluke, that we were able to do it. Do you want me to be at your bedside when the time comes? Well, actually, I mean, it's, I really want to, I mean, I don't want to, I mean, we sometimes, we knock our previous employer, but I just want to say my dad was a great, great fan of Radio 3. He absolutely loved it.

Now, I don't, you're a musician. I don't know anything about music and I know even less about classical music. My dad genuinely loved classical music. And so his final weeks were largely soundtrack by Radio 3. You didn't put this on. No, I didn't. because he wouldn't have liked it. And he absolutely, I mean, honestly, what that radio station provides,

it's not probably something that I will listen to much in the future. Although, weirdly, you know, I might give it a whirl, because there were some beautiful pieces of music that, particularly in the middle of the nights on, I mean, I thought, my God, there was one evening where, or it was night, where we actually thought my dad was about to die. So we were called back to the care home. And again, I mean, actually, he did.

He didn't die that night. But we spent that time with him. And, you know, Radio 3 at, I think it's about 3 o'clock in the morning, played a 14th century French mass. Now, I'm never going to hear that again. I never knew I'd want to hear it at any point in my life. But for you, there was a sort of magic about it. There really was.

I bet. Yeah. I mean, they really, really was. There were parts of the BBC that should always remain because they are doing, you know, what the commercial broadcasts, world can't do. Can't do. Yeah. And can we just say, you know, we are far enough away from the BBC, I hope to be able to

criticise it with care. Yeah. I think the decision to knock you and yours on the head is madness. It's a programme that's changed legislation. Yeah. It's a programme that's really hard to imagine how that could be done in the commercial sector. And I think that feeling that you've got somewhere to go. if all other avenues seem to be deserting you,

has never been more important. When you're never met with a human when you want to complain about something, where AI is befuddling all of our decisions, I think this is the time when you absolutely need a program that you can get in touch with that will do something on your behalf and that will bring everybody together

so we're all better informed about it. I just couldn't believe it. It's a proper, doughty public service program. What are they thinking? I mean, it is the sound Western McIntosh of Consumer Affairs that program. And, you know, we take it off at our peril. They're about to remove it and I can't believe it. Well, we're backing it.

We are backing it. We're backing it. Much good it'll do them with our record. So maybe we just need to find a way of combining what would be on the best of the BBC. So you'd have Radio 3 on overnight. Yeah. So you'd have a couple of fugue states that you can enter. Very good. Yes.

And then we'll pop some you and yours on. There's nothing else. There's nothing else. We can just settle for those two things. Well, I think Desert Island Discs has still got something in it. I can always see the join there or hear it rather. I'm not as keen. And another record.

Exactly. Yes. I know what you mean. It's not live, is it? No. It's not live. Anyway, we don't want to big up those people, except we will because those two things are worth. So you're absolutely right.

So actually we just want to save you and yours and Radio 3 overnight and the rest of it. Bye-bye. Pretty much. Now, it's lovely to be back. And in order to celebrate my return, I'm going to read out an email that praises Fee. Do you need to have a little drink first? Well, I should have a quick slur. This I could do with a couple of spicy margaritas.

I really hope Eve reads this before Fee. So it has a chance of being read out. out. Okay. I see what Amara this is, who's only 27. I see what she means. I spotted Fee at the Lido a couple of years ago and my friend told me for the amount I bang on about these podcasters, I've just got to go over and say hello. I quite literally cornered Fee in her lane before she was about to push off and she couldn't have been warmer and even kinder than I imagined. I have never met a well-known person who asks and tell me about yourself. It really made my day and then proceeded to make me the talk of the family WhatsApp.

My mum and aunt are also avid listeners. Shout out to my auntie Clover and my mother Carol. Anyways, all's to say, some heroes are great to meet. And Fee remains the celebrity dinner party guest I'd most like to have. Amara, well, I'm really glad that you're meeting with Fee and the Lido a couple of years ago went so well. Do you remember it, don't you? I do remember it, actually. So hello, Amara.

and it's a strange thing when you meet people that you don't know semi-naked and immersed in water. Well, you've got nowhere to turn. You've got nowhere to turn, but I wouldn't have swum hastily away from you. And actually there is something about that that makes it much easier to have a pretty full-on, immediate, deep conversation

that you wouldn't have if you were just... If Amara and I had met at a bus stop after we've both been for a swim, I don't think we would have had a chat. And I do remember the chat that we had, And it was great. And then we went our separate ways and we swam. And it is lovely to know, actually, really lovely to know

that somebody so young enjoys the muddling things that we talk about from our middle-aged shelf on this podcast. So I absolutely remember you, Amara. And it's very kind of you to write in to say that. And Jane now has fulfilled the remit in her contract and never needs to do that again, actually. Not for another two years. Thanks, Amara.

It's all over. Yeah. So obviously we've had a lot of emails of people missing you and wishing you well. Well, that's very kind. Oh, I had a lovely card from Nick, who we met at, very briefly met actually, at Cheltenham at the festival on Thursday. Thank you very much for that card. It was beautifully expressed, Nick. Thank you.

Now, who was Nick? You didn't see her because she gave me a card just as we were leaving this day. Oh, okay. Sorry, I was thinking, no, I can't bless that at all. We had a lovely time at Cheltenham, didn't we? I mean, it sort of sets autumn going, doesn't it for us? It does. It's a beautiful location. It's a lovely festival.

And our guest, Anna Carice, I think she more than delivered. Yeah, she didn't disappoint. No, she didn't disappoint. She can give good anecdote. And actually, there is so much in that book. So her book is called Challenge, with an exclamation mark, after it. It's a memoir about all of the different things, the challenges she's faced in her life. And she really takes you there.

She doesn't spare the horses. So she was a great guest. She wanted us to thank our audience, Jane, because so many people queued to, you know, get a signed copy afterwards. Because it's a good book. Yep. It's a funny, funny book. And said how much they'd enjoyed the session.

So happy days all round. Have you sampled Colleen's preserve? I, Colleen, have got your black current jelly and it's divine. Is it? It's super smooth. It's super, super smooth. Well, Colleen, thank you. Yeah.

So thank you very much. You can dunk that in some cold ambrosia rice pudding. Oh, no, I wouldn't do that. I don't know. I don't like rice bread. I don't really like risotto. I don't really like porridge. There's something about the glute.

I love those. I know some people think it looks like something that might have been pre-enjoyed. Exactly. Something that you see a lot around mainline stations of a morning at the weekend. God, that's so true. I don't like a meal where the first. first mouthful is the same as the same as the last. And that's why I as a child I used to dislike soup. But as an adult, I've learned to love it. Yeah, that's very true. Although I can never drink soup.

It has to be enjoyed with a soup spoon. So you're not a cup of soup fan? No, definitely not. Oh, I love a cup of soup. Absolutely love a cup of soup. And sometimes I like making a cup of soup where I don't put the full amount of water in. So it's just incredible. It's like a cow lick. It's so salty. And it makes it really super thick. Actually, it's a really good point about food that is the same, is a consistent flavour and texture throughout. Whereas that's why people enjoy the classic roast because there's so much going on.

Pick and mix. Yeah. A bit of soft dish veg, then some challenging meat. And yeah, okay, I get it. Yeah. Which isn't that interesting? But you like it. You like the slop of a slice pudding.

And I like the challenge. of a mix of, so I like everything. I know that's not true. What is it? I don't like to eat. Almost nothing. It caught me out there. It's only gristle and cheese scones are the only thing I don't like. No, hang on, something will come to. Biscuits.

Oh, I don't like biscuits. Yep, you said the other day on the team he didn't like biscuits. I've seen you eat biscuits, though. Okay. Now, this going gray thing. We need to air this a bit because what's... Interesting, things, is that I was due to have a colour appointment next week. And for various logistical arrangements connected to my dad's funeral, which is a week on Friday,

you do have to still wait quite a long time to get a slot. And I think this is a subject. If people can tell us where I know different cultures, you do it really quickly, I think Catholic funerals happen much quicker than we're having a non-religious funeral for my dad because if anything had even less interest in religion than my mother. My mother used to like the idea of keeping up appearances and occasionally popping to church. And would your mother go? Which cathedral in Liverpool would she attend?

Oh, no. She wouldn't go to the cathedral, but she would pop to an Anglican service. Yeah. Yeah. And I think she got a little bit of comfort from that. But I mean, she didn't go very often. I can't remember her going in the last 10 years. But she would occasionally have been known to take a shred of interest in religious affairs.

Whereas my dad was in no way a hypocrite and he just thought it was all copulous. By the way, if you are religious, that's completely all right. That was his way of thinking. So we do have to wait a long time. And it does mean that there is this slight, it is a bit of a strange period in your life that you're waiting for this to be over because you do think you might feel differently afterwards. And I think on the whole you do a bit. So I'm quite looking forward to it being over if I'm honest.

I think a lot of people will understand that. Back to my hair. Yes. I have had to rejiggle an appointment and therefore I can't get my colour done. So is this God's way, although I'm not sure I believe in God, God's way of saying, pack it in? Is my dad intervening from that happens? Well, is it that?

Is it Raimondo's parting shot? Can you see what's happened there? Because Raimondo kept a head of hair. Did he? Oh, yes. He did have a head of hair. Well, I can't see any grey in your party at all. Well, no, I bet you can't at the moment because it's relatively, you know, done up.

Oh, okay. Okay. So you can't get, you can't get in the next appointment. I can't get it. So basically, I'm not having it done this month. Okay. Yeah. So let's, should we see what happens? Well, let's. So the idea, we were talking about going grey and I was just saying, so one of the reasons I've had my hair cut very short now. I think it's lovely. Is because, well, it's a bit too short, actually. I'm not a huge fan of it myself. But what I'm going to...

It's nice to see your ears. It's nice. You're very sweet ears. Some people have got... No, I don't think I do actually, Joan. I think... What's wrong with them? I think they've...

Lengthy lobes? Yeah, I think they're a bit big for my head. Oh my God. Do some people really worry about the length of their ears? Oh, I think they do. Really? I think they do. Do you know what, when I was younger, I absolutely hated my knees and my forearms.

Right. I look back on it now and I just think, how did you have the time of it? day to dislike your forearms so much. And did you really think, and it's so much worse for kids these days, isn't it? Because everything's just being shared around all the place. But did I really think that it was going to hamper my enjoyment of future life that my forearms are just a little bit more musly and a little bit hairier than other people's forearms were? My knees are terrible. I inherited my knees and my reckless optimism from my dad. Did you? Yeah, one of them's great.

them's not so great. But yeah, the knees are always covered out. How do we get on to this? Loeb's hair. Yes, thank you. Let's backtrack. I'm going to go very, very, very short because then actually it would only take me

about six weeks to grow out the grey. But what I'd quite like to try and do, and I don't know whether you would join me in this, it would be great because so many people of our age do want to grow out their grey. Could we not create something like Movember, where for a month, and we call it back to my roots, you give the money that you would have spent on your hair appointment,

on my touch-up appointment, and the root touch-up that I use in between times, the semi-permanent WhatsApp that I use as well, all of that kind of josh. Have you got one of those powdery things? Maybe. You have to powder your parting. I always feel like I've retreated. Oh, I used that in COVID.

Yeah, to the 18th century. I'm just going to go powder my wig. But we could all contribute that money to, Good idea. Okay, to a Christmas appropriate charity? Exactly, something like that. Well, let's think about that seriously. Yeah, and then we could, people could do it every month just as a show of support for a charity. Yeah. But certainly, I'd be very, very happy to donate the first missed hair appointment, you know, that I don't need to have when I finally go grey to a charity in the, in the...

Why should men have all of the fun with them, Movember? Why should they? Why should they? And have you been influenced... I don't mean that, by the way, because it's a great charity. It's done an amazing thing. Have you been influenced by Olivia Coleman? Well, so it's funny. She's a famous thespian. She is a famous thespian.

By the way, I've seen a trail for Wicker. Have you seen the film? Is it out yet? Do you what? I am not going to be able to look at my Ratton Conservatory chair. Exactly. In the same way. So you're comfortably there.

Or perhaps you will. Because the noises that it makes when I sit on it seem to be quite similar to the noises that the is that the wicker man played by one of the scars guards. Scars guards. Is it Alexander? Yes, it is. I mean, he's lovely. What have I said that?

He's lovely. He's an actor. I would have said out of many of the current actors, he's the least likely to need to be woven in wood. But that seems to have. I actually did, I did see the trail and I thought, oh, that does look most unusual. So I'm inclined to give it a world. But I don't think it's out yet. No, I think it's out next third.

Because I went to the cinema. I was off last week until we went to Cheltenham. And it was like a little bit of an experiment. I was kind of, I didn't. I wasn't quite ready to come back to work. So it was good that I didn't. But it was a kind of taste of retirement fee.

I know, which you're dreading. And I can't worry. It was, I kept bumping into my very dear, but already retired friend. I tried everything to avoid it, but I kept popping into her. Where was the strangers? place at the strangest time of day. It wasn't strange at all really, but I met her on our, well, it was, it's a street in, in W. West London, which is for many, many years was spoken of as up and coming. And now it's properly come and upped. Up and come. I mean, it's just astonishing. So what have you got on the parade? Oh, we've got, that's really expensive overpriced but with nice meat. Yeah. There's, there's a gales. There's any number of. We've seen you coming, but why not buy these earring shops?

Okay, so you've got cards and candles. I always think cards and candles. You are 100% right. And it's a place to see and be seen. Yes. But it never used to be. I used to live not far from there. And with the friend I met the other day, in fact.

And, you know, you took your life in your hands when you went down that road back in the late 90s. Not anymore. Anyway, I bumped into it and we were both examining, I think it was overpriced condiments in a semi-health shop. You know the kind of place I mean. I know exactly what you mean. Yes. And anyway, I kept bumping into her in other locations and it just became, I realized that's what retirement looked like. So, I love her, obviously, it needs to be said.

I went to the cinema one afternoon and I thought I'll play cinema roulette and I'll just go and see the next thing starting. Now, I'm not a risk taker normally. But I ended up going to see the uprising. Which is about the peasant's revolt. It's about the peasants revolt. Now, I hesitate to give it a hard recommend, although it. is interesting. It's very violent. And I thought of you because it was...

Thanks. The trail for Wicca was shown before the film, by the way, which is why that was in my head. I'm definitely going to see Wicca. It was set in the sort of Fenlands of Essex. For some reason I thought of you. Are you not familiar with that part of the world? Because you live close to.

Yes. I'm quite familiar, not as far up as the fence, because Cambridgeshire is the... Oh, well, I suppose, Marshlands then. Marshlands, not Furnlands, yeah. So this is about walking to London, the protest that came to London. They walk. I mean, it's directed by Paul Greengrass.

He's done so amazing stuff. And it stars Andrew Garfield as the plowman, who takes on the might of Richard II and the mayor of London. And the mayor of London, it did make me laugh, because obviously I think Saddik Khan, and I can't imagine Saddik Khan on horseback, alongside the king, taking on a bunch of revolting peasants. But, I mean, look, anything could happen.

Well, it could. The way things are going on other parts. Yeah, absolutely. I think he's more likely to be on a line bike. That's actually right. That would be the one. So you're on London fields this weekend, so in the East East London.

Yeah. There was a jousting on line bikes tour. There wasn't, not really. Well, I tried to access the Instagram feed that I've been sent, but it's been taken down. So I don't know whether something. So it wasn't properly organized. No, I think it was properly organized.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's such a funny part of town to live in now. That is extraordinary. There is some, there's a crowd of young people who live there. You just have vast, vast imaginations displayed in the type of things that they eat, the type of things that they wear. Yeah.

And now the type of things that they do on London Fields. Well, that's a new one on me. Jousting on line bikes. Semi seriously. I don't actually know. It's more than semi-seriously. Seriously. If you're a French listener or if you're listening in France, we live there.

Oh, my goodness. We would so love to hear from you. We would love to hear from you because it's all very well me watching the uprising. But things in France did sound over the weekend to be getting really hairy. So numbers of people protesting, Jane. I don't think we have really taken on board. what they mean. I'm not sure we have.

So, you know, it's across France, it is estimated to be 800,000 people out on the streets. France doesn't have an enormous population. It's smaller than ours, isn't it? Yeah, it's geographical size. And some of the buildings that have been burnt down, I mean, they really are the, you know, the town hall in the Moge. Yeah, that's awful. The tourist office in Lyon, I mean, there's, you know, real looting and rage going on. And it's funny, isn't it?

Because I think at first there was quite a dismissive. tone of the French, don't they love their protests? And now it's like France is burning. And what might come afterwards, I think, will be quite sobering in terms of politics. Because they've got an election coming up. And the promises that will be made to try and keep a lid on that anger, I think we should really, really have a look at those. But yes, we would love to hear. We know that we've got lots of listeners in France. We hope you're okay. Well, we do. And also we should bear in mind that because France is a big country with a bigger than ours, but with a smaller population than ours, there will be some people who say, actually, you don't, you know, it's over-egged. We've seen nothing. I've heard nothing. Because that will be true of some parts of France, won't it? But equally, if you do live in a big city, it must be really quite frightening. Very much so. But the instigation for this protest came from students, didn't it, who were absolutely sick of really, really poor.

schooling and you know some of the stories that they told you know of just never having a proper teacher in the class a lack of supplied teachers you know complete lack of equipment and oversight and many of them were asking for a better education so although it then becomes easy i think for some commentators to you know dismiss this as kids out of control looting and you know kind of taking something for themselves. I've got a lot of sympathy for young kids who look around and go, this isn't fair. You know, I want to

enter the adult world with more equipment, please. So do something about it. It doesn't seem an unreasonable demand really to get a decent teacher. And whether Macron's wise to go and see Celine Dion over the weekend. I mean, remarkable though she is.

On what level? Well, many levels. On every level. Was it wise? to go in grey. Yes, let's do that. So yes, let us know your thoughts. On everything. On everything. On all of those things we've talked about. And actually, if we could start just a little campaign with a worthwhile cause at the end of it, then I think, because for some people, it would mean only donating £6.99 for, you know, a root touch-up

to be missed. And for other people, I know that my going to a hairdresser to have my roots done is a lot more than £6.99. And I'm very happy. to donate that too and I'm also quite looking forward to going grey now I'm absolutely sick of it you aren't as grey as I am that's the irony because you're much much older yes I am yes um yes I am what could I say well I don't know I mean is it that whole of business that's totally genetic is it I would imagine so it must be yeah yeah can't be diet related can it no my mum was when started going grey in her 20s and I only really remember her as being grey and I mean she's got beautiful white hair now

and also my mother has never ever blow-dried her hair well I've got that in common with her she's never put a thing on it hasn't she no product and it looks good looks good I don't think my dad had ever used shampoo that was something we discovered quite late in his life was he grey white white but thick thick hair yeah yeah he did go snowy white but I mean his generation of men they didn't care about that sort of thing did they? No. I mean they genuinely

and they didn't have to care. I would say that my dad was probably a member of the last brigade of men who had never had to berate themselves for their appearance or uphold any kind of beauty or handsome standard. Not that he was an unattractive chap I mean I'm sure he wasn't but you know what I mean

He hadn't got any of that self-consciousness or self-doubt that is just heaped on women all their lives and increasingly now is heaped on men of all ages too. He was pre-FHM. Yes, no. You were, Ray. He just were. He most emphatically was. Good for him.

Should we just run through? Yes. Some very quick. Oh, sorry, the Olivia Coleman thing I was going to say. I went to see the preview of Hamnet, the movie, ahead of interviewing Maggie O'Farrell. Right. And Olivia Coleman, she gave the little kind of speech beforehand.

And she was very, very funny and very lovely. And she definitely had a pixie haircut. Because I remember thinking she just looked wonderful. I remember saying it on the podcast. She was wearing a blue blazer, cul-ts. Yeah. And, I mean, this was November 2025 before cul-ots were everywhere. But so a year ago.

Yeah, so she got very, very fast-growing, yeah. What are you saying? I'm not saying anything. I actually had to look it up because I thought this is, I'm sure she had a pixie cut at the preview of Hamnet. And if she has had extensions put in, which lots of women do in order to aid the growing-out process, absolute props to her,

because they look absolutely brilliant, she looks brilliant. And, or maybe I've just got it wrong and she just had it all tied back or whatever. but I've always very much admired her pixie cut. Well, she can get in touch. She could, couldn't she? What's going on? Olivia, don't be shy.

Tim in York, I heard your presenters tonight. That's us. Tim, you can address us properly. Reading out further contributions to the item about the name used by CESPIC contractors. And I felt compelled to enlighten your audiences to where the Aussies have taken the promotion or naming of these businesses. It's a very, very formal email. from Tim in York.

We lived on Sydney's northern beaches for 10 years and laughed every time we saw the tankers from one contractor bearing the strap line number one in number two's. It's not bad.

I mean, why couldn't that work? I really like that. That's absolutely brilliant. Sorry, I was looking for oh yes, looking for it,

because we need to lighten the mood. Marita says, I've just spotted this. It's a Titty Bottle Park. I was wandering along the banks of the river Wharf in Otley. Beautiful sunny Yorkshire. Yeah, I think silly names are always welcome. Oh, they are.

Titty bottle park, though. Why? Why is it called that? And another one from Sarah who's in Shrewsbury. Just catching up on some podcasts after a lovely fortnight in Norway. So I don't know if you're still talking about place names. I will always talk about them. And you went to Norway and you gave it a very big thumbs up to you.

Oh, massive hard recommend. Sarah, tell us more about where you went in Norway. Wanted to say, every time I pass a sign for the Shropshire village of Knocking, I automatically ask myself, I wonder if it has a shop. And you're, yeah, that's good. Why wouldn't you? It's a very good, you wonder. Yeah, and actually, wouldn't you love to run the knocking shop?

The knockin shop. I would. I would, actually. Seven types of turmeric. And I think when you've got more than one type of turmeric in a powdered turmeric in a jar, in a health food shop, that's the sign that your neighbourhood has come up, isn't it? I would think so, but hasn't it been debunked? Turmeric?

Yeah. As a health aid. I've got no idea and I'm not confident enough to say yay or nay on any of those things. I'm not medically qualified. And we're still not. The last 40 minutes, we've not got any wiser at all. Maggie says has this thread expired. I'll tell you what, no thread ever really expires on this podcast.

you can return to them as often as you like. I've got a bit behind, what with Life Admin and a first grandchild, the delight of which knows no bounds. Yes, that's lovely, lovely. Disappointed as I was to be put off a visit, as said grandchild, just four weeks old, had the sniffles. I felt I was sure I had the answer and dug my pot of snuffle babe out of the medicine cabinet

only to find the expiry date 1994. And it's called The Product Isle. called snuffle babe yeah and maggie uh basically says yes carry on carried on using it oh really yes i i think if you if you mean one of those vapor-rub things yeah then i think that would be fine wouldn't it could that it's hard to see how that could expire but if it's still smet smelt all vapoury and mentfully yeah it'd be okay yes because i mean the smell is what you're paying for isn't it and that's the impact of the smell that you're after.

Anyway, let's not start something. No, no, let's absolutely not. Helen says, I was thrilled to see you for the first time, IRL in Cheltenham. Annika was a great guest, but really, I was just there to see you. And I'm so excited. You're going on tour next year.

Yes, I've read this out just because... Corporate coffee is back. I'm back with a... Not quite a bang, but almost a bang. What date did tickets still go on sale? And will we get to meet Eve? Very disappointed. She didn't make an appearance today.

Well, Eve was in Cheltenham. But she didn't come on stage. Well, we could actually shire than you might think. Yeah, and also we could only have one extremely attractive blonde woman on stage with the two of us. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So, Eve's just going to have to wait a turn. There's a limit.

There is a limit. It was, and this is another one on similar vein from Wendy. Good to see you back together. Watching on YouTube, looking forward to your session with Anika and also the podcast. I've just won a gold medal in today's pickle. Well, I mean, honestly, if you're not into pickle, P-I-C-L-E, you can find it on The Times.com. I'm really on message today.

So I don't know what's going to happen next. I got diamond today, actually, Wendy. Did you? Or did I? Was that yesterday? So today's is not in this country. Then I didn't get it. Perhaps I haven't even done it.

Oh, my word. Is it a tough one? I'll do it. No, it's not a tough one. If you know it, you know it. But yeah, I got the year very wrong. Anyway, Wendy, congratulations. She was only 59 miles out.

A friend of mine was 450 yards out or something yesterday. I mean, people get so pedantic about this. If you don't know what we're talking about, you're missing out on a treat. It is one of those puzzles. It takes a nanosecond to do real sense of achievement if you get it right. But also really interesting. And it's properly educational. The photograph is always accompanied by an explanation of why it was taken,

what the significance is. And actually, I've learned so much. I've had to think about things. The one that has really stayed with me, weirdly, was a photograph just taken in minehead during the foot and mouth crisis and it was just a deserted street. And I just thought, God, I could play.

Actually, because I'm such a townie, Jane, I'd forgotten about foot and mouth. I mean, it was a massive thing. 2007. Oh, I mean, I can't remember now, I'm sorry. I do remember it being a huge story. Gordon Brown was Prime Minister. I remember that.

You know, cattle being burnt on pires across the countryside, devastated farmers. Really, really difficult circumstances. So it's little pinpricks like that through a photograph that make you think again about points in history. It's absolutely brilliant. On Thursday on the afternoon show, we are going to embrace Pickle, explain the week's Pickles and set a little bit of an audio tickle ourselves.

So Pickle comes to the airwaves in the afternoon show. When's the afternoon show on, Jane? It's on Times Radio, and it's easy to listen to Times Radio, on digital radio, but also on the Times Radio app. It's so easy to install, and it's completely free. And we're on Monday to Thursday between 2 o'clock and 4. Get involved. Be there, be part of everything we do and just learn stuff like we do every single day.

Yes, we do learn stuff every day. But back to the, I mean, God, we've meandered, even by our standard. We have. Anyway, keep an ear out for when tickets go on sale. We are doing a tour around the country. There just will be places that people are annoyed. that we're not visiting. Well, there'll be plenty of places relieved. But we're not visiting.

Probably more of those. But we've absolutely... We've tried to come out of London and as far away as humanly possible for us. But, you know, hopefully you'll be able to get somewhere if you want to come and see us for the evening. Do you know what's so lovely? When we looked out in Times Square,

we were doing the afternoon show from Times Square in Cheltenham, which is the kind of wine bar come meet people from the times whatever you know you can sit down on a stool and do some day drinking and we looked out from our little desk of news and actually it was just a sea of fantastic women of a certain age most of them having a rosé wine good for them all talking to each other uh all actually talking quite loudly not listening to our show that's the way that we like it's fine meeting new people having a laugh pointing at us whatever and i'm I just thought this is wonderful.

And this is absolutely wonderful. It's a little taste of what the live tour will be like. Yes. But do come along. And it doesn't matter, you can come on your own because you're almost bound to meet someone that you can have a little chat with. It's that kind of atmosphere.

You'll be all right. Totally, totally, totally, totally. Can I just say as well, there was a lady who popped into Times Square. I didn't mean to be kind of overly staring at you, but she had a fantastic, very short trench coat. It was like a half cut off trench coat. I'd just quite like to know where it's from.

I'd quite like to buy one. Could you tell us where you got? that piece. Yeah, so a tall slender lady with short dark hair and you had a kind of trench coat with a slight funnel neck on it too. I just thought it was absolutely divine. Trench coat with a funnel neck. Are you watching traitors? I am, but I find the tasks really boring.

Oh, the missions. Well, that's when you just go make a cup of tea. Yeah, I go for a bath. Yes. And then I come back down and join the round table. Yeah. Yeah. The missions are pointless. Does anybody watch them?

No, I think that's when everybody goes online. and has a chat and does love of stuff. I shouldn't say it's really, but I'm a bit baffled by the, they're raising money for charity and they have to whoop when they realize they've made another two. And you think, well,

you're whooping, but you've probably been paid 55, 60, 70, 80, 100 grand to go on this show. Well, Maya Jammer's first trench coat that she wore was worth more than what they want in the task. So there is that. However, that's not to say

that I'm not enjoying it. No, and they've got to have a reason, haven't they for them, you know, all getting together as celebrities. They've got to channel goodness somehow. Yeah, I just think James Blunt's outfits. So when he goes to do the task, he's like the 1-1-8 ad, isn't he? He makes me laugh. I mean, he's, no, he's, he's always, he's been known as someone who can laugh at himself

and he's not letting that one go. I just think when you see him next to Ross Kemp, you just think that is a spectrum of manhood going on there. I like them both. I like them both very much. It's possible to like them both, isn't it? Yeah. It really is.

I'm possible by some of the others. I'm quite like them to end up together by the end of the series. As a couple. Yes. Would you? Okay. A blunt kemp. Right.

Some people will find out funnier than others. Okay. Are we back tomorrow? I think we are back tomorrow. Yes. With more insightful stuff and more rambling. And it buried, I admitted it all. some conversational nuggets.

What? Some conversational nuggets. I mean, I'll not forget the lime bike jousting, that's for sure. So thank you for bringing that to my attention. It's Jane and Fee at times. Radio. It is well remembered. Thank you. So we will speak again tomorrow and debunk some emails in.

All of our previous threads are very much available to be used and well-worn. Have a nice evening. Goodbye. Congratulations. You've staggered somehow to the end of another off-air with Jane and Thank you. If you'd like to hear us do this live, and we do do it live every day, Monday to Thursday, two till four on Times Radio.

The jeopardy is off the scale. And if you listen to this, you'll understand exactly why that's the case. So you can get the radio online, on DAB, or on the free Times Radio app. Offair is produced by Eve Salisbury, and the executive producer is Rosie Cutler.