Off Air... with Jane and Fi - I would've dated a lamppost, happily (with Rob Brydon)

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

If you've ever fallen in love with a lamp post, a bollard, a fire hydrant, or a post box, then welcome! You're in good company. Jane and Fi also chat vasectomies, diaries, and talking cloths. Plus, actor Rob Brydon talks all things Gavin and Stacey and then some... Get your suggestions in for the next book club pick! If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram! @janeandfiPodcast Producer: Eve SalusburyExecutive Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sort of pure written Christmas. Well it's just twigs and fake cranberries. Oh god I'm not surprised it's not been nicked. It doesn't sound camp enough for Christmas. Well not every Christmas has to be camp. I think it does, Vy. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.

Now, you already had your tree, is that right? What? You had your Christmas tree. My Christmas tree? Yeah. It's been delivered? Yes, ours has been delivered. Have you up-righted yours and decorated it?

No, just put the lights on. I mean, it's a terrible shedder already. Is it? Yeah. Well, it shouldn't be shedding already. Well, it has. That's terrible, Jane. I know. Who do I complain to?

Is there a relevant authority? It's yours not... don't tell me yours isn't shedding. Well, it definitely shed a little bit when we took it out of its very, very tight packaging. And also, because ours did arrive, ours was the last on the van to arrive, so it had been crushed by many, many trees above. It was a huge van. So when we took its wrapping off, it did have a little shed then. Yeah, if that tree could talk, it could tell you about that journey. It certainly could. And that would be fascinating.

I always think things that could talk, you know that little bit of cloth that they use on the nozzle of a coffee machine? Oh good god. What stories do you think that could tell? Because it swept up and down that nozzle, isn't it? At high speed. I don't think it's ever been changed. The same bit of cloth.

It's a bit of a jade cloth, isn't it? I think there are lots of waiting rooms, aren't there, in which you could make the most fantastic old-school radio documentaries. So the waiting room of... I did a piece about an egg freezing clinic in New York years ago, and the waiting room in that clinic just could have been the documentary. So you could just leave the tape running? Yes, and just because all of the stories that have brought people there just would, you knew that they would be remarkable because they were, it was just a real panoply of human life. What year was this? God it was a long time ago, 2004. Oh but it was already a thing. Yeah so it was when it was quite kind of pioneering and very

unregulated in America. So and they were, I think the promises that were being made were far more extreme than you're allowed to make now. So there's been a massive gap hasn't there between saying the phrase egg freezing is successful in 96% of cases. What that actually turned out to mean was it was successful if you got through in vitro fertilization after you'd thawed the eggs, but actually if your eggs, you know, if they diminished in their capacity to be eggs during that process, you didn't have to include it in the statistics. So there were just so many people, I think, who were

robbed of their future. Yeah. Sorry, that went off on well. No, no, it's really interesting. I didn't realize it was such a thing 20 years ago. Yes. Gosh. Because I was single when I was in New York and very single. I would have dated a lamppost quite happily, Joan.

And I remember... I mean, nothing wrong with a bit of street furniture. We all have, really. But I remember being very lured in by the adverts because they were definitely targeting me. They were targeting me as a 30-year-old single woman thinking what's happening to my life. So that was the start of the documentary. Well, if you've ever fallen in love with a lamppost, a bollard, or a fire hydrant, or indeed a post box, or an emergency motorway barrier.

We'd love to hear from you. This is the podcast for you. The woman who married a rock, wasn't it? It was. And they're all kind of... Probably very happy. Yeah, and there's a woman in Norfolk who keeps marrying her owls, doesn't she? I don't know about that, but that's Norfolk woman in Norfolk who keeps marrying her owls, doesn't she?

I don't know about that, but that's Norfolk. Welcome, Norfolk. Home of the very good turkey. I've had, you get newspaper delivered, don't you? Do you get the newspaper delivered? Well, we do. We're lucky because we get it courtesy of our job. Yes, that's right. But my paper person has sent me a Christmas card. And you know what that means? Tip. How much are you going to give? I don't know. I think 50p is excellent. There's so much you can do with it. That's

10 shillings. No. But I'm not sure how to get it to them because the paper comes at about four in the morning. Well you just need to leave a little disguised envelope behind a pot plant. Yeah. So it was one morning when one of the girls was coming in from clubbing and they encountered the person. They thought we were being robbed but it was just the person chucking the newspaper onto the step from a car. So it's not, it comes from a moving vehicle.

So I think... Things have changed haven't they? You've got to do it in two stages haven't you? So you've got to leave a card out that doesn't have any money in, saying, I would like to give you a tip but I don't want to leave money out in a card. So could you knock but not at four in the morning? Could you come back during daylight hours or could we arrange a place that I can leave it?

A seasonal drop-off. Yeah. Okay. I did show you a picture yesterday. I'm very proud of my seasonal wreath which I've put on the front door. It's very nice. It's lovely. And I do admire that kind of thing. I love, I think floristry is another one of those underrated skills.

I just think to be able to weave a wreath must be incredibly satisfying. Anyway, you said you were surprised it wouldn't be nicked. I know. We live in very different parts of town, Jane. You couldn't put a wreath out. incredibly satisfying. Anyway, you said you were surprised it wouldn't be nicked. We live in very different parts of town. You couldn't put a wreath out. So a lot of stuff has gone missing in our street. I've got a very demure wreath. I mean, some people would say unattractive. Nobody's ever nicked it. Okay. Austere, is it?

It's quite austere. Right. So it's a puritan Christmas. Well, it's just twigs and fake cranberries. Oh, God, I'm not surprised it's not been nicked. Okay, I'll show you a picture of it tomorrow. I'll take a little piccy on the way in. It doesn't sound camp enough for Christmas. Well, not every Christmas has to be camp. Oh, I think it does, V.

Talking about camp, our guest today is Rob Brydon and if you are a fan of his really brilliant camp character Uncle Bryn in Gavin and Stacey, then you've got to listen because actually from what he says about it, and we don't give too much of it away because that would just be ridiculous, there's a Christmas special coming up, but he does tell us some things about Gavin and Stacey and Brinn, so you'll want to be listening to that. All right, well that reminded me, I certainly will be listening, I have no choice actually. I'm so sorry.

But we did get a message on WhatsApp yesterday during the live radio show, Times Radio, Monday to Thursday, 2 till 4, get the Times Radio app, it's free, from a listener called Tansy about the interview that I'd done with Juliet Stevenson, in which we briefly referenced Alan Rickman's diaries, which, and Juliet Stevenson was a good friend of Alan Rickman's, as well as acting alongside him, and she sounded as though she wasn't entirely certain that he'd wanted those diaries published, they were published after he died. Anyway, Tansy WhatsApp yesterday to say that very sadly her mum has died and I'm sorry to hear that, but she has found her mum's diaries and she says they

are absolutely in the nicest possible way mundane, but she cannot bear to part with them. Of course. And you mustn't, you absolutely mustn't because what might seem mundane is actually, it's a social document without being pompous. And that kind of sense of a real life lived is absolutely vital, isn't it? You must keep them. I know she will, judging by the tone of the message.

But the idea of taking somebody's diary is however domestic they might seem and relatively small scale and just binning them, you just couldn't, could you? No, not at all. And it's always those kind of things. If you think about what you see in museums, it's quite often the mundane stories of ordinary lives that are far, far more intriguing than the rather kind of curated life of royals and princes and famous people. So definitely, definitely, almost the more mundane the better. So do you keep, well you have kept a diary, haven't you? Well, I've got my teenage diaries and then I started one, but I've stopped again now. But did you make that mundane or was it just full of showbiz anecdotes?

Um, no, God, it was really mundane. The most recent one was very mundane. I mean, obviously, occasionally, as you know, we are in show business. We are. We meet people, we go places. I think we meet the most extraordinary people. And actually, there's a bit of a funny moment, I don't know whether or not we'll be able to keep it in the interview, where Rob Brydon says we've met before and we were both apparently at a BBC dinner in the days when the BBC used to, you know, invite people to dinners. In the days when I used to work for the BBC. I'm just going to say no longer do. Break it to me gently.

I couldn't remember it, which is no disservice to Rob Brydon, because obviously that is shade being thrown in the wrong direction. I completely, you know, would forgive him for not remembering me. But you know, you and I do meet a phenomenal amount of people and sometimes, Jane, I genuinely can't remember if I've interviewed somebody or just watched somebody else interview them. It's a weird membrane, isn't it? It is weird. That's not to say that we forget everybody. No, but sometimes I think I've forgotten the people that I really should be more capable of remembering. I mean, I love Rob Brydon, absolutely. So I was really embarrassed that

I couldn't remember having met him kind of almost out of school. But it's just because there's too many people in there. Yeah, we've just got too many people in our collective. What did you call it? Membrane? Yes, well, memory. But the membrane, I think, just goes a little bit weird when it's your job to talk to lots and lots and lots of people, which I'm not complaining about at all because it's a magnificent job.

Yeah, some would say it's not even a job, but you and I both know it's very much a job. Very, very much. Nafisa, hello, she just wants to mention the handshake between, I love this, if you watch the handshake between P. William and D. Trump closely, I love that, I'm going to call him P. William from now on, you will see P. W. actually pulling his hand sharply to release Trump's grip and to try to stop the handshake being prolonged. It's a sign if ever I saw one. Well, we've got to put Nafisa on handshake, public handshake scrutiny duty. Yeah, it was also notable that encounter for the absolute cobblers that Trump has come

up with since about how good looking B. William is and about how he's much nicer looking in the flesh. I mean Donald Trump is he makes the most extraordinary observations about other men. Yeah. So to be fair he objectifies women and men fairly consistently. Most peculiar. Do you think it's because he can't really think of anything else to say? I just can't imagine any circumstances in which any other world leader would reference the appearance. Well, hang on sister. Oh, go on.

Because when Joe Biden attended one of the G7 summits, the one that was down in Cornwall, do you remember when he was introduced to Carrie Johnson? He said, and they were doing that very awkward, we're being filmed saying hello to each other, he said, with reference to Carrie Johnson and his own wife, you're also punching above your weight, aren't you? Well, he was right there. Well, but it's also, it's a massive comment on somebody's appearance. But that's about the opposite sex. Yes, but it's a massive comment that is inappropriate.

It's about people's appearances, about world leaders and their spouses' appearances in a place where that's not why you're there, mate. No, no. Well, Joe Biden won't be there for much longer. Some would say he's not. Anyway, let's say thank you to Claire in Southsea. Regular correspondent, absolutely lovely Christmas card. Isn't that? It's gorgeous one. That one is really nice. What's on the front of it? You're good at describing it. It's a fox. It's a nocturnal fox. We like some foxes and this is the kind of fox we like. One that's drawn. Thank you,

Claire. She just says, I'm working through my Christmas card lists and it can be quite sobering. And she goes on just to say that, I mean, it's just a fact, isn't it? As you get older, your Christmas card list gets a bit shorter. And it's just, it is, it's one of those moments every single year when you think, okay, yeah, cross the name off in the address book. Oh gosh, and do you do that? So you put a line through people? Well, I mean, it's not, you know, metaphorically I suppose. Although yes.

But Claire, thank you and thank you for adding us to your Christmas card list. As she says, she's adding names because some other people have left. Okay, well that's a good policy and thank you. Yes thank you. Hello Jane and Fee and team, it's Lorraine in Loistoft. Lorraine has contacted us before, it's always good value, here we go. I went out to dinner with my husband on Saturday night to celebrate the 19th anniversary of our first date.

It took us 12 years to get married so celebrating our first date became a habit. And the behaviour of nearby diners was so jaw-dropping. My first thought was I must tell Fiann Jane about this. Now we like that. We'd like to be your first port of call for gossip, intrigue, innuendo and anecdote. A kind of fifth emergency service. We were hoping for some rare time to chat and reminisce in relative peace. They sound like they've got a good relationship, don't they? No, they do, because that's lovely.

What a nice thought. But the two couples at a table nearby were really noisy and it became quite difficult to hear ourselves over the increasingly raucous laughter. We were in a country gastropub rather than a white tablecloth sort of place and they seemed to be having a great time so we just shrugged it off and got on with our food, giving up on our own conversation until a conversational lull in theirs occurred. It became harder to ignore them when their chat turned to the topic of each of the two men's vasectomies. There was no attempt to dial down the volume so

whilst I was tucking into my deconstructed fish pie, which was very nice in spite of the pretension of dolloping the elements separately on a plate. How does that work? Well, as Lorraine says, pile them up and put them in a dish, for goodness sake. We were treated to details such as, well, I was in the room with him and the cut was very small, but then they pulled out this thing out of the cut and it looked like a noodle and snipped it. And then I think my... had flopped to the wrong side, so the nurse just kind of battered it over. Lorraine says, I pushed on bravely with my king prawns. King prawns Eve. Eve loves a king prawn. Yeah well, that's a little bit of an in-joke but we do like to reference king prawns quite

regularly. Exchanging raised eyeballs. That reminds me of something to defrost for tonight. Carry on. With my husband as he stoically tackled the beef bourguignon. It's the detail that we love. However, it was when the loudest of the quarter loudly announced when I had our first and you know what I'm not going to read out the rest of this because it's such well it's about episiotomies. It is such a tasteless conversation to have when other people might overhear it if they're

on a nice quiet night out with a loved one, hoping that this is a prelude to romantic fervour. It's just really inappropriate. I hadn't realised it goes on to discuss episiotomy because that's a world away from a vasectomy. Well, it is, isn't it? Just really, and in that kind of detail. But Lorraine says, I did want to say for God's sake, will you put a sock in it we're trying to eat, but instead we just laughed at the absurdity and rushed through our desserts. Thankfully my husband resisted the strong temptation to regale them with details of his ingenual hernia operation, although I'm sure they would have found it fascinating. I'm absolutely fine with listening to discussion of intimate surgical procedures on the podcast,

but it was so jarring to hear over dinner. Context really is everything. Well I agree with you there completely Lorraine and someone who has the experience of PCOSmase, to be honest they came up when I wish that they put socks in it. Somebody had to crack the gag. You rose womanly to the occasion. By the way socks are not a contraceptive, they must not be used in that way. Do you remember the fantastic, I can't remember whether it was here or back at the mothership,

the old place. Do you remember we were talking about people who got things wrong with regards to contraception and the young girl who was working in a French pharmacy, not really speaking the language, and she was asked for something for Le Weekend by a customer and she couldn't quite understand, she thought she knew where the condoms were, she couldn't read the stuff on the packaging and what she actually gave the gentleman was one of those incredibly firm finger holds that you would use if you had broken one of your digits. Oh, well actually, like a splint for a finger.

Yes. I'll probably do the job. Well, I don't know. I've forgotten that. That was a very, very good anecdote. What is it about people who want to discuss that? I mean, people do love, and look, I'm guilty as charged, do love to tell other people about their bodily suffering, don't they? Men sometimes, look, I don't know,

I'm never going to have a vasectomy. It doesn't strike me, I do know men who've had vasectomies and by the way, more power to them. It's obviously quite invasive, but it's nothing like having an episiotomy, giving birth, having a smear test frankly, is it? It can't be. I wouldn't have thought so. I mean, I would hope it's very well anesthetized. Yes, of course I wouldn't. I mean, no, I wouldn't suggest you do without an anesthetic. But birth, quite often elements of birth aren't anesthetized. That's what I'm saying. Exactly. I mean, I know it's difficult, isn't it, to try to balance male and female suffering? You can't do it.

But there's kind of no point. You know, they go through their own sense of turmoil. Turmoil? Yes. They do. I think a lot, well, I mean, look, let's invite our male listeners to get in touch. I think some of them are really unwilling to engage with having a vasectomy. Yeah. It's not easy always. Completely agree with you. All hail the men who do.

Quite. Quite. Isabelle says, I heard you discussing the letter from a listener called Katrina about her family's reluctance to throw away wrapping paper, a frugal habit they never lost from the war, despite being quite well off. It did make me think about a term I recently came across and I've written about as a journalist. Isabelle is a freelance journalist and producer and it's called money dysmorphia. Never heard of this but I think it rings true for me. She says money dysmorphia is defined as a profound anxiety about wealth that goes beyond rational concerns.

This stress is distorted from reality, insidious and obsessive, and experts say it comes from our childhoods where we learn our money scripts and those scripts stay with us even if we later accrue wealth. Now that makes sense to me because I do think that we all have a very particular relationship with money and worrying about money or not as the case may be and I think it starts very very early depending on how the conversation about money is approached in your early life and in your childhood home and you remember that we had a couple of kids at school who and I always think about this they just wouldn't share their crisps. And there was one girl in particular who would eat her crisps with the lid of her desk open, secreting the bag within the lid. So the rest of them, although we all knew what she was doing, you got the very firm impression that she wasn't sharing her crisps. Yeah, so she was going to end up in the never a borrower or a lender B category.

That would be my assumption but I moved very swiftly there from a very sensible email from a freelance journalist to a really weird memory that is lodged in my head of something that must be realistic happened almost 50 years ago. It's good to get these things out. Thank you. But I agree with your point about the template of money is written very, very early. And I think it's so interesting if you come from a scarcity background and you end up in a plethora background, I wonder whether or not that changes how you enjoy your money, if you can enjoy your money, if you have guilt attached to making your money. I think that

must be hard, you know, because if you've always wanted to provide better for yourself and your family, and then you end up in a position where you can but actually you're constantly thinking you know but I didn't have this when I was a child I think that's probably quite complicated in your relationship with your kids and also maybe it's just it doesn't give you the contentment that you imagine that it might do. I think that's yeah that's true also let's just be honest we all know people who are really well often really tight. So tight, it's a really I, we all know people who are really well off and really tight. Tight, so tight. It's a really, I think...

Such a boring place to be. Lack of generosity, when you can afford to be generous, is a dreadful, dreadful thing. I mean, it's just got to spread to everything. If you have that thing in your head going, yes, I could do that, but I just won't. The kind of, you know, why bother? It's quite... That noise. Do that again. Yes, I might have that as my, what do you call it on the phone?

What's your ringtone? What's my ringtone? I tell you what, why don't you put it on your ring doorbell? Someone comes knocking and they just get... I need 24 hour security to protect my wreath. I've said there's no way anyone on our street is going to finch it. What if they do, V? You do. So we've had a real spate of people nicking parcels from doorsteps around us.

Oh, I think it's happening as well. Yeah, it is. It's really hard done by. But I tell you what, the neighbourhood WhatsApp is very busy with the ring doorbells. Is it? We are all our individual DCIs at the moment. Your little veeras. Tracking parcels, sharing images. Has everybody got a her? I don't

have a ring doorbell. I haven't got a ring doorbell either, I'm relying on other people. Right, that's just as good isn't it? You see why splash out? Why bother Jane? Someone else will. Right, quick one from me and then shall we hear from the delightful, delightful Rob Brydon. Yes please. A dangerous time of year, the solution comes in from Elizabeth Fitzpatrick, following your empathetic tale of the toddler parents resisting Percy Pig. I thought you might Rob Brydon. A dangerous time of year the solution comes in from Elizabeth Fitzpatrick following your empathetic tale of the toddler parents resisting Percy Pig. I thought you might enjoy my similar experience this weekend. I was buying pants and tights after a potty training blip at the till with an unsympathetic looking cue. My 2.5 year old picked up a toy I was

absolutely not going to buy and handed it to me with a heart-wrenchingly hopeful face. Just as I braced myself the shop assistant gave me a knowing look, took the toy and handed me a very small chocolate coin. She even managed it without my daughter seeing so it was my choice whether to use sugar to buy a small child's compliance. I did. Perhaps all shops should offer this service in December, although dentists may not agree. And Elizabeth, we are delighted to offer you an audio refuge and emotional recharge after fun-filled but draining days. It's lovely to know that you're on board. And what a clever and thoughtful thing to do. And also just give into one chocolate

coin. Oh, for God's sake, yes, it's only could win. Yes, it won't matter. Absolutely fine. You don't need all your molars. Teeth are overrated anyway, aren't they? Let's face it. And also good luck with the potty training. That can go on a while. And if the person being potty trained is two and a half, then you're doing well to have even started it. Absolutely. Yeah, there are lots of kids out there turning up in reception, not yet potty trained.

I just think that's so difficult for teachers, they've got enough on their plate. Yeah, oh god, it really doesn't. Yeah, that was the only, I remember when my kids went to nursery three, the only thing that the school insisted on was that you were potty trained. And that was the only entry requirement which I just thought was really... I mean, but I totally understand why it would be because they're not there to train your kids to use the loo. No, and it just takes so much time to endlessly be cleaning kids up. Of course you can always have an accident. Crikey, anyone can have an accident.

It still could happen. At any time. I want to say hello to Julie who is in Adelaide in South Australia. Now a couple of weeks ago we were getting lots of emails from Australia about how hot it already was. Is it still really, really hot? That's what I'd like to know. But she goes on to say, your listener who decided to go to a concert alone has brought me to tell you about my trip to Italy in May and June of this year.

It had long been my dream to see Italy and particularly Venice. Well, life happens and although I have travelled extensively in my own country and in New Zealand and some Pacific Islands, I'd never made it to Europe. So here I am, 69, a retired nurse and caring for my husband with advancing Parkinson's. Our two daughters said, go now mum, and they stepped up to help their dad and they urged me to go. My friends had all been or had partners to travel with. I couldn't wait for somebody else to be able to come with me so I found a small tour online for eight women from all over Australia,

three weeks all in Italy. Although it was a group tour, I had to make my own way to Rome, which is 15,000 kilometres from Adelaide. Now that's a trip, isn't it? It was just the best and bravest thing I've ever done, from Rome to Pompeii to Capri to Florence to Sanctaire. I don't think I know. Is it Sanctaire? Is it C-I-N-Q? Q-U-E. Yeah, Sanctaire.

Yes, it's the. Sancta. Yes, it's the five little towns perched on the Ligurian coast. Oh gosh, okay, I didn't know, sorry. Well, that sounds lovely. To Lucca, to Orvieto, Lake Como and ending in Venice and travelling then in a water taxi up the Grand Canal and being lost in Venice. It was my dream come true. It wasn't how I thought my retirement would be.

I thought we'd be travelling as a couple and I did have my dream come true. It wasn't how I thought my retirement would be, I thought we'd be travelling as a couple and I did have my teary moments, but I now realise I'm capable of long distance travel on my own. Please everybody, just go and do it, whatever your dream is. Prepare and be safe, but it's not that scary, even at my age. I'm not sure if I'll have travel opportunities again anytime soon, but I would love to one day see my father's birthplace Scotland and maybe France or Spain. Well Julie, best of luck, but you've made a fantastic start. Happy Christmas to you and your husband and the rest of your family and your daughters. And I'm just so glad you did

that. It does take guts. I mean, it absolutely does. It does. And well done you. And if you do come this way and you are visiting Scotland then be in touch with us because you never know we might be doing a show or something like that, we could meet up. Yeah and as you know we both have Scottish blood. We certainly do, it turns out Jay's got more than me and that's just really weird. So the 4th and the 8th of February dates for your diary if you'd like to come along. Well not the 4th anymore because there's no ticket. Oh there's one. I think there's one ticket left for solo traveller can come.

There's no ticket? None? Did you buy the last ticket Eve? Did you? Oh that's nice. She is a legend. Okay so it's just the 8th of February and we're doing some kind of items aren't we? Within the show. Oh items. I mean, honestly... We've got stuff this time. We've got stuff. We've got content. We've got content.

And we've got guests to be announced. Yes, guest TBA. But no, it'll be worth your while. Also, it's a February Saturday night. I mean, look, there's nothing going on in February. It's not Valentine's, because that's the following week. It is, yeah. Perhaps we could mark Valentine's somehow on the... Let's not. Let's not. Oh, you're right. Okay. Anyway, that's at the Barbican

Theatre in London. London is the... it's a big city in the south of England and it's relatively accessible from pretty much most of the UK. I mean, not on a Venti West unless you're prepared to pray. But I shouldn't say that. I'm using their services. Be very careful. It's been a tough old year, hasn't it? So come Christmas day, what we all need is to settle down, sink into the sofa, pour another glass of something

you'd never drink on a civilian day, and pop something on the TV that is funny, heartwarming, clever, and occasionally dark enough to really make you think. Gavin and Stacey has been doing that for years and it's back. A Christmas Day special comes our way. I think it's five years, isn't it, after the last one. So will Ness and Smithy have got married? Will Gavin and Stacey still be in love?

Will Uncle Bryn have changed his status? Bryn being a man who can put the camp in Christmas any time of year. Rob Brydon plays Bryn. He was at Times Towers today. We had to seek refuge in the Torque Sports studio because ours was full. It's just a small detail in case you think we're both sounding testosterone fuelled. More on that later. I started by asking Rob about what he thinks the magic of Gavin and Stacey really is. It's the writing. You know, that's the first thing. The script, because that's the beginning of everything, isn't it? You know, you could have the best actors in the world

and if the script isn't up to much, they'll add to it, but it won't be enough. So the first thing is the brilliance of Ruth and James's writing. You know, they create such multi-dimensional characters. A lot of comedy people can do that, but then they also have the ability to write such economic, tightly paced scripts with almost a soap opera sensibility in terms of keeping the viewer interested and moving the story on. Then on top of that, it's a heck of a cast from Alison Steadman and then Alison Steadman down, is that fair to say to everybody else? I don't know but and then the peripheral characters who I always say are Dawn and Pete and Dave Coaches,

are also brilliant, you know. And could all stand their own show. You know, they're well realised enough that they've got fully realised lives. So I think that's why. Do you think it's also quite rare for two writers who then are writing their own parts to actually be generous enough to quite often be writing much bigger parts, much more of the storyline for other actors? I'm not sure how true that is because I think although Gavid and Stacey are the title characters,

I think they write, James and Ruth write themselves, plenty of great stuff. I think their names aren't in the title, but I think their characters have, you know... It's them. Oh yeah, they have plenty of great stuff. But it's also very smart, you know, surrounding. And like I said, all of the characters, I would say, I was just so beautifully realised. So let's talk Bryn, let's do a deep dive on Bryn. So many people will watch what's coming on their screens at Christmas and hope that there's some kind of a revelation. Do you think so? Do you think people really want to know or isn't it better? Isn't it the tension that we love?

I think we need tension but with even more of a tease. I do think we need... Yeah, but a tease is not a resolving of the tension, is it? As you well know. That's true. Now you say that as is it? No. As you well know. That's true. Now you say that as if you know something. Do you know that about me? But are we going to get just a little bit more of that storyline, do you think? And I don't think we should talk about it too much either, because that's the magic,

isn't it? Are you not just not going to say anything at all? That's right. No, I was just waiting for you to stop talking. So on a scale of 1 to 10? Six. Six? That's quite high. Thank you. I wish Mrs Brydon shared your views.

Okay. Is this then going to be the start of even more, do you think, or is this the completion of the whole thing? Because we've been told quite often that Gavin and Stacey is done. It's done. You don't survive a chemical explosion. No, it's finished. Okay, absolutely. Right. Well, let's talk about some more of your world, if that's okay. Does being in Hollywood change people? And I suppose there is a link to Gavin and Stacey in this question as well. And I know that you've been asked it before, so I hope it's okay to ask it again. James Corden has had a right old ride in Hollywood. When somebody goes there, does a little bit of you think,

oh, you know, we've kind of, we've lost the nice bit. Oh, I think that's such a cliched approach. It all depends on the person. James is such a talent and such a great guy. I came away from this special, is such a talent and such a great guy. I came away from this special like I did in the last special, so impressed by him. He has a wonderful clarity of thought. I think he's underrated.

I don't think he gets the praise. Did you ever see him when he hosted the Tony Awards? I think it was the Tony's. And it opened with a with a song and dance routine, okay. I mean that in itself was, as a performer I looked at that and I went my god how did he pull that off, you know, and you look at him in One Man Two Governors and you look at him co-creating Gavin and Stacey, hosting that talk show, you know, and what have you. The James that I know is not the one that I sometimes read about.

Do you know if it upsets him that people may feel differently? Oh, he's pretty strong. He's a pretty tough cookie. You don't get to achieve his success without being strong. I'll take him off my worry list. Yes you you've no need to worry about James. Good to know Rob, good to know. Your body of work is extraordinary which thing looking back and let's take Gavin and Stacey out of it if it's okay would you say to someone who has never ever met you before this is me this is the bit that I did that's absolutely gorgeous and wonderful gosh

yeah yeah yeah well you know early stuff like Marion and Jeff and human remains there was a sort of purity to both of those because I was trying to get noticed. So there were no other concerns other than the work, the project. Then as you go on, other factors come into play. I was probably more laser focused on those than anything since. But I've done all sorts of things that don't get noticed, that I've liked.

So, you know, I did a thing years ago on the BBC called Heroes and Villains Napoleon. I played a character called Stanislav Freron, what you might consider to be a baddie for want of a better word. And it was well received and you think as an actor, oh well maybe now I'll get to do something like that, but you know it didn't happen. I like that. I love a lot of the stuff I've done with music over the years. Recently I've been touring with a live band, you know, around Britain and we've gone to Australia and New Zealand. And in some ways that perhaps is very close to essentially what I am because I get to do a bit of everything.

You know, there are funny songs, there are serious songs, there's talking to the audience. So that is a, I see that once I settled into it and got past the feeling of, oh my gosh, can I be doing this you know once that went that felt like a good fit. I read something which I thought was a very wise thing to say it was a piece of advice that you would want to give out to other people in your profession to just really work incredibly hard on the thing that you're on at the time no matter what it is because actually was it Mary and Jeff or Human Remains that Margot Robbie had seen

that then led her to know who you were in Gavin and Stacey and you did a message as well? No, that was, it was, I think she liked Gavin and Stacey and Greta Gerwig who directed Barbie. Lest we forget, I'm in Barbie for six seconds and, but they are six incredible seconds. They're incredible. They are, Sugar Daddy Ken, thank seconds. They are Sugar Daddy Ken. Thank you. I was mesmerized by them. Thank you, thank you.

I always say with Barbie that if you were at the cinema and let's say you bought some Maltesers, it wouldn't have to be, they could be anything, it could be popcorn, but let's say Maltesers. And you just happened, now there aren't many Maltesers left, so you're not able to just reach your hand down and get one. You've got to slightly, because they can, if you've got a slightly because they can if you've got three left they can often rattle around the box so you look down to try and get the Malteser and then you look back up

there is a chance that the Malteser you could be blissfully unaware I would I literally I could I could be gone like that so Greta Gerwig had seen human remains and liked it Margot Robbie I had sent a Birthday video a message came to me saying oh, but she's a big fan. It's a birthday Would you send her a message as uncle Brynn? She go okay, and you do lots of these messages and even sometimes for you know well-known people But there's a part of you that thinks She ever see this?

And is the friend saying, I mean, sometimes people, I always remember once, I had to go and meet a director who remained nameless for a huge film. And the message came to me, oh, this guy adores you, this director, he thinks you're a genius, genius was the word, he loves you and he would love to meet with you at the Groucho Club. Okay, great, well yeah okay, he's a big director. So I go there and the guy's assistant who's with me goes, this is the guy I was telling you about. This bloke had never ever seen anything I'd done. Oh dear. And I was, it was when I was promoting one of the trips and I was meeting up with Steve

later that day and I said, oh, I had a terrible morning. I said, I just had to go to the groucho and he went, oh God god not you as well. Who is the strangest person who you've had to record a message for? Can you tell us about those important people? Oh. And also do they pay Rob? Oh no they don't pay. Oh sports people often you know it's so-and-so's birthday would you do a message? Margot Robbie is undoubtedly the most celebrated. You were absolutely legendary amongst the radio loving fraternity back at the BBC for your ability to impersonate one of the greatest presenters of all time, Lord Ken Bruce. Is it the same now he's gone commercial? Yeah, I mean, Ken's magnificence has not diminished.

Commercial radio shall not wither him. I believe he's added... He's taken millions, Rob. ...bazillions, hasn't he, over to greatest hits radio, playing hits from the 70s, the 80s and the 90s, Beverly Craven, woman to woman, three from one at ten. Who had hits in 1980 and 81 with this old house? You drive me crazy and it's raining, shaking Stevens. It's superb. I know it's just such an easy fit for me that voice. That's effortless. Although, you know, and I run into Ken

you know, and I used to say, you know, his quiz, Popmaster, I used to go, Popmaster, Popmaster, like that. And then one day, I listen, I don't know, he says, Master, Popmaster, Popmaster. And I would have naturally thought with that voice, it would be Popmaster. So I was wrong. Oh gosh. You did a whole show, didn you? Yeah. As the back-turner in the audience. I know and again you see I did the whole thing on it was on Red and April, April Fool's Day. It was April Fool's Day some years ago and I went in and did the whole show as Ken and you know I don't say this with any sense of oh look at me I

find that effortless. I could do that standing on my head. That's just something easy. I started out in radio, Radio Wales, and I sort of know the things of Ken's voice. I think it was so right. Marjorie Wallace, she says, dear Ken, my husband finds it very hard getting up in the morning. I know how he feels.

Is there something you could recommend? Earth, wind, and fire, September. What are we talking about? It's April. That sort of thing. I can do that till the cows come home. Yeah, it's just absolutely brilliant. Thank you. What's next for you Rob? Well, in the summer, this is an edit isn't it?

So you're going to edit this. When does this go out? This goes out this afternoon. Well, most immediately on Monday the 16th of December, I'm doing a show with my band at the Lyceum Theatre. A festive night of songs and laughter. We've got surprise guests coming on to do some Christmassy stuff. So that's where I'm sort of wrapping my head round at the moment. Then, over the summer, I did something very new for me. I'm fronting this rather big new BBC One game show and I am the Claudia Winkleman figure, but without the fringe. OK.

And I did that and I must say I loved it and I can't wait to see. And then, you know, the usual assortment of bits and bobs. Just bits and bobs, yeah, bumping into Margot Robbie and stuff. It really is a pleasure to meet you and thank you very much indeed for making time in your busy schedule. Have you felt a different kind of testosterone, because we're not in our usual studio, we're in a talk sport studio. We're in a talk sport studio, a station that I, well of course I approve of it. I only ever hear when I'm in a taxi and and and this is gonna sound patronizing. Go for it. I'm always surprised at how much I enjoy it because I'm not one of those people but when I'm in I go this is great in here.

It's all that sort of thing. I mean look he's got to sort mean, look, he's got to sort out his back, isn't he? He's got to sort out the back row, because as it stands, how much are they paying him? I mean, he's on like 35 million, he's not providing. As far as I'm concerned, he's out on it. Look, look, look, we've got to talk about this now, because he's not coming round there, that's a tragedy. If he signs on for another two years, he's out of there now.

It's all that kind of stuff, isn't it? There were two goals up, I mean, there's no way you should give away a lead like that I'm turning into Billy Connolly I don't know why. Clip that, that is their Christmas promo. Never be overshadowed by a Malteser thank you very much indeed for your time it's Rob Brydon everybody. The amazing Rob Brydon he gives such good interview I just enjoy being in his company. His impressions are superb. And if you want to see what may or may not be revealed about Uncle Bryn, then Gavin and Stacey is delighting our television screens on Christmas Day on the BBC One.

Yeah, and I think that will be a gathering around the TV moment. Yeah. It was at the Bishop of London this week who I thought, rather poignantly, and I agree with her, was just saying that she really misses that whole everybody watches the same thing at the same time experience. Yes, she said streaming box sets on your own. I think she's right. Is a way to misery and social decline.

She's absolutely right. She is right. And I lament the passing of the really cringey bits where you'd be watching TV with older people, your parents for example and they'd be snogging or something, it'd be awful, your dad would disappear behind the Liverpool Echo and everybody would, and my nan would ask for it to be turned off. But you know, it was just, it was a collective experience and we just don't have it anymore. Yeah.

And Gavin and Stacey I think just delights everybody. It's so clever, it's so warm-hearted but it's also quite dark and you know so there's something for everybody and I think it's absolutely just wonderful. I'm so glad it's back. Because I love Ruth Jones and I love Rob Brydon so it's got everything. I think Bryn is one of the great, great comedy characters of all time. It's the little touches, like, you know, it's his outfits, isn't it, which is a little bit kind of Boy Scout sometimes.

He's always got those shorts that are the length that nobody ever has. Nobody has those after about year two. And then his kind of man bag, his cross-body man bag and stuff. But, you know, Rob Brydon just absolutely nails it. And I think he does that with so many of his characters. So huge thanks to him. It was a real pleasure to see him. Yeah. OK, well, that will be the big blockbuster

television moment across the UK on Christmas night. Let's hope there isn't a row in our household and we can all sit down. Well, let's hope there's a TV in your household. Well, what's the point? As you know, I... It's not looking good. No, right. We can make... We've just played charades.

Have a very good night, day, afternoon. We'll be back tomorrow. We will. I think. I hope. Congratulations, you've staggered somehow to the end of another Off Air with Jane and Fee. Thank you. If you'd like to hear us do this live, and we do do it live, every day, Monday to Thursday, 2-4, on Times Radio.

The Jeopardy is off the scale, and if you listen to this you'll understand exactly why that's the case. So you can get the radio online, on DAB, or on the free Times Radio app. Off Air is produced by Eve Salisbury and the executive producer is Rosie Cutler.