Off Air... with Jane and Fi - "I've got to throw a bowl of spaghetti over Anne Robinson" (with Lynda La Plante)

Episode Date: September 11, 2024

Following last night's debate Jane and Fi discuss alleged cat chomping from 'the walking wotsit'. They also set a pet embargo to save the pod from becoming furry friend focused. Jane also speaks to author, screenwriter and actor, Lynda La Plante, on her memoir 'Getting Away with Murder' which comes out tomorrow. Our next book club pick has been announced! 'The Trouble with Goats and Sheep' by Joanna Cannon. If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram! @janeandfi Assistant Producer: Hannah Quinn Podcast Producer: Eve Salusbury Executive Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And Paul McCarty goes, what sort of dog is that? I said, it's a Great Dane. The world is getting more dangerous and understanding how helps. I'm Alex Dibble and I present The Times' World in 10 podcast where we hear from military specialists and our renowned foreign correspondents. They're the most likely cause of a world war in the next 10 years. This isn't something you want to get mixed up. President Putin will sow discord in the alliance. The World in 10 is every day and just for 10 minutes. Do join us.

So I'm a bit worried Jane actually because our lead producer has just described this as just them talking. Very hurtful isn't it? Very hurtful. We may never get over that. Anyway, let's jog on with today's proceedings here on Off Air. Now, I did wake up, as I suspected I would, at three minutes past two this morning, just like that. Just in time to hear Springfield is eating cats and dogs. That came a bit later. What I actually heard first off was that, I think I know I've done it. I've done it definitely when I've been doing public speaking and I felt really nervous and Kamala Harris did that, that kind of dry throat gulp. And that was the first thing, if I'm honest, that was the first thing I heard her do and I actually thought, oh no. So I turned off

for a bit and then rejoined at around and that was when I began to question whether I was actually conscious. I think many people. We got to the alleged cat chomping going on. Yeah. So very peculiar. Is it a shame or is it brilliant that Donald Trump has said something just so ridiculous? Because on the one hand, it just spins him even more, doesn't it?

It means that the thing that we're talking about today is exactly that. So he kind of wins on that front. His supporters presumably just believe all that kind of nonsense. So, and it doesn't, does it really put somebody off? Would you have loved Donald Trump up until the moment that he said illegal immigrants in Springfield are eating pets? I don't, it just seems so absurd doesn't it? But then that's a good thing that it is so absurd because when someone shows you their true self, believe it. Yeah, well what I want to witness or hear, because I did listen on Time's Radio feet, how about

that? Onmissagebandi is back with us. I want to hear Kamala Harris debating a normal human being about politics, because although she was clearly, clearly so much better than the alternative, there were a few points where she wasn't properly tested and couldn't fully explain why she's changed some of her opinions. And actually Donald Trump, because he wasn't really listening, didn't challenge her, didn't really, nor did the moderators either. So I think I know they're now complaining, Trump's side are complaining and saying the moderators were very much on her side. Yeah, it was three against one.

But so I don't want to fall into that trap. But I just want people to realize that this crazy low bar has been set for that man Trump. And we are all being coerced into thinking that his way of operating is somehow acceptable. And people, young people, our children need to know that no person like him has ever stood for a role of this nature before. Until he, you know, since the last time he stood for it. He isn't the norm. Yeah, but something truly terrible happened, didn't it? Right at the beginning of Donald Trump emerging into politics where people were so wowed, and that's people like us.

Yeah. So people in the media reported every single fart that that man did and created a Donald Trump sized hole that is now only filled by people as idiotic as him. And you can see the idiots filling up the space all the way through. So I think it is terrible. I personally don't mind Kamala Harris not being ultimately pushed and pushed and pushed, because I feel for her and her team because so much of their time must be spent trying to anticipate how they're going to respond to this great big moral belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong,

belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong,

belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, belong, thoughtful, really high-level intellectual debate. And I'd like to assume that some of the reason why she's there is because along the way she has been tested on that. You'd hope so, wouldn't you? So I just want to stand behind her, Jane, really, and not kind of look for faults in her, because what seems to be important is to close down that Donald Trump sized space. I did love the bit where Donald Trump said that he had the backing certainly of, what's

his name, Victor Orban. I mean you don't necessarily want him as your number one supporter. So for people who might not immediately be able to. And most of us don't know that much about him, I only know bad things about him. So he's built a wall, he's been involved in some... he's a Hungarian... He's quite authoritarian. ...leader, but he's been involved in some very, very right-wing decisions about immigration, hasn't he? Yeah, he's pretty... I mean, shall we just settle for unpleasant? Shall we settle for unpleasant?

That's very British, bit of understatement there. But he's backing the Walking What's It. And obviously Taylor Swift's team and Taylor Swift watched the debate last night and thought now's the time on behalf of cats around the world. Let's grab a bit of much needed publicity for Taylor Swift and get her involved. You would have to assume that the Harris team would have known all about this, that she was just waiting and it had all been pre-arranged. Or are you of the view that in fact she has taken some of the excitement away from Kamala Harris by coming up with her endorsement so quickly? Well didn't she do it because of the images that were circulating, the poster of her saying

vote for Trump, which is very believable. But why didn't she do it last week? Because presumably there's a critical mass, a point at which you reach where you go, okay, people really are believing that she's endorsing Trump. And because all of this stuff came out about the people who we don't recognise at all, but are quite big in American football who do support Trump, that she was seen at the US Open with hugging. And that was a big news story, you know, is Taylor actually on the side of Trump and just not telling us about it

because she's hugging a person who sleeps with a person who might once have endorsed Trump? Do we know that she sleeps with him? What is her husband? I asked the question again. So don't you think that those things, I mean I'm sure the camps have talked to each other, but I like to think that Taylor's not completely bought up by the Harris team and can do things on her own. Yeah, well I just wish my camp would do a bit more talking. Get out there. Can we talk buses?

Sorry, no explain that. Have you got a camp? I wish that your camp. I want my camp. I want a camp. You want a camp? I want a camp. You want a team? We've got a lovely team.

Do they come out fighting? The problem is you have to share it. Exactly, exactly. Really briefly on buses. Well done, Alison. Alison sent us some cracking. She has blown it out of the water. Exactly, exactly. Really briefly on buses. Well done, Alison. Alison sent us some tracking. She has blown it out of the water.

Well, yes she has, but other people have now given me the technical answer to the bus dilemma. Thank you very much, Alison, for your pictures of respectively the 476, the 141 and the number 7. I love the 141. I haven't got any of those buses in my life. No because the 476 goes via Stoke Newington which is in northeast London. The 141 is cruising over the bridges to London Bridge. The number seven, I'm not sure about the reason the number seven. No I don't know that at all. I know the number nine. Interesting. I know the number ten. Neither of us are familiar with the number nine. Interesting. I know the number ten.

Neither of us are familiar with the number seven. That's our special bus spotter's voice. We have to bring in a man because men know stuff, Fee. You know this. And Steve says, there are two main kinds of bus destination signs. The old style has a blind and that's wound round to show the destination. It's just white print on a black fabric and you can easily take photographs of them. But the new style is a dot matrix display of tiny white LEDs and they're lit rapidly one row at a time and you can't easily take photos. Your phone takes a very fast photo so it only captures the row currently lit. If you can make your phone take a long exposure image then

you should be able to get a picture. Brilliant, thank you very much. Do you think there's anybody out there called Dot Matrix? I think there is. I'm sure I've mentioned this before but when the internet and email first came in I was, I think I was still in local radio or at least I had friends who were working for a local radio station and one of my mates told me that she would get letters in the post addressed to her name with D.O.T. in the middle because listeners thought her name was Rita dot something else. Brilliant. Yeah, yeah.

Because, you know, it did take quite a while for some people to grasp this. I think we've done buses. If anybody wants any more, just on the whole way that bus signs work, perhaps another podcast might be available. I bet there's, is there a TFL podcast? Oh, I don't know. There's probably a Bus Spotters podcast out there somewhere. There's bound to be. Can I just put in just a little plea, if anybody's ever going to think of redesigning the Route Masters in London, which are the beautiful old-fashioned buses, double

decker buses that kind of reconvened under Boris Johnson and so we've now got new Rootmaster buses. Please could you put a window that opens at the front and opens at the back so you can get a breeze. It just seems to be such a design floor it's just weird. Are they very stuffy? They get so, so hot in a London summer and it just, it would just be really simple, should it be really simple to do? I don't know why they didn't do that. I think because when they were first built, I'm showing off some knowledge here, Che. Yeah, come on. They were going to all be air conditioned and that was the, you know, one of the big kind of reasons for changing all of the buses.

But I've yet to sit on an air conditioned, Routemaster bus. Have you? Not to my knowledge. No. By Routemaster, do you mean the ones you can hop on the back of? Yes. Yeah, but you can't do that anymore, health and safety, so all the doors are closed. What is happening to this once plucky nation? Well, Jackie and Cheshire would like to join in our conversation about canoodling. She describes herself as an octogenarian public canoodler.

I've never heard such a perfect example of no sex please with British nonsense. Nonsense Jane. As your comments on an age limit on public displays of affection. Taylor Swift and her chap canoodling in public. Good grief. She's only 36 years old. Come on ladies, loosen up. There's life out there. Best regards. I'm never going to loosen up. How old is our correspondent?

Well, she's in her 80s. Good for her. Well done, you. Alexa, Alexa says, oh gosh, we can't say that name. I've said it twice. Alexa says that she realizes she was in the same position as our recent correspondent. My maternal grandmother, widowed, and my paternal grandfather, divorced, married each other before I was born, back in the early 60s, and so I didn't get to go to their wedding. I grew up thinking everybody's grandparents were married in this way. That's not as niche as we thought it was.

No, and it would keep things nice and tidy. I mean, it would keep all the money in the family to start. I tell you what, that's golden advice. I mean, this is how royal families keep it all together, isn't it? I never wrote to Blue Peter about it, says Alexa. It must be a nightmare being called that. But anyway, I never wrote to Blue Peter about it, though I now feel a bit miffed as I've clearly missed out on a potential Blue Peter badge.

Oh. Yeah. It did seem an odd reason to give somebody a Blue Peter badge but remind us how you got one but you'd done a project, hadn't you? No, there was a competition to write limericks. Oh yeah. I wrote a limerick about our dog. I can't remember which dog.

No. A few dogs. Right. Yeah. I tell you what, I don't think I've ever mentioned pets as much as I have in the last 24 hours. Might have to have a pet embargo. Shall we just lay off for a while? Well there was a very funny one from Glyn, who is one of our favourite listeners.

Judith and Fai, that's an in-joke on the programme. My thoughts and prayers are with Dora and Nancy and all on this very difficult day. Keep safe. Cats dog chompers of the world are on the prowl. So be alert. Yep and yeah. Can I just say we have had similar stories in this country. Do you remember the stuff about swans? Yeah well there was a thing that illegal immigrants in London were so hungry that they were eating swans. That's it, I remember. Do you know, that was a couple of years ago, wasn't it?

It was a couple of years ago and it was debunked. There was some truth in the fact that some other smaller forms of poultry were going missing. But I mean, that's been happening as long as there have been ducks on the ponds. Yeah. But yes, it was flammed up into the queen swans are being eaten. That's right. Yes.

Our dear late queen would have been very upset. This one comes from Cheryl and it is a criticism. Yes. Can you cope? Mm-hmm. I was so distressed to hear you criticizing the latest video of The Prince and Princess of Wales that I paused the cast and you've got that right because lots of people say the pod but it's not, it is the cast, to write this email.

Why was that criticism necessary for millions of viewers around the world? It was brilliant to see Kate's progress and to see this family just being a family, having fun, treating each other with affection, being silly and having a laugh. The loving care between them was beautiful to witness. Why could you not just acknowledge and celebrate that? Instead you talked about the video being over-produced, what even is that, in the context of what Kate's been through and didn't say anything positive about it, yet you claim to wish her well. I'd love to have heard you being supportive, but I heard you doing the opposite. If it had

been under produced you would have criticised that. She's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. In my humble opinion Kate is the best thing that's ever happened to the royal family next to Queen Elizabeth and Prince William and I don't understand your need to pull her down instead of acknowledging what a great asset she is to the UK. We live in such a fractious and difficult world at the moment with terrible things happening all around us. I'm not asking for fantasy or dishonesty, but I hated you adding to the misery.

Well, I mean, our correspondent, what's her name? Cheryl. Cheryl makes her point very passionately. And I can't pretend she's changed my mind, but I hope not too many people were upset by what was said about that. We talked about it on the live programme too, didn't we? And would it be fair to say opinion was divided? I actually think most people agreed, especially those of our listeners who've been through cancer,

felt that it was somewhat dappled sunshine and too saccharine for their tastes. I'm not misinterpreting what we said, am I? No, not at all. So I would say about 80% of the messages that we had were from people who – Cheryl, you should know this – they all started their messages saying, we really do wish her well, but it's been uncomfortable for me to watch something that I just really can't feel myself. And, you know, we asked for people's opinions, and that did seem to be the prevailing wind. But I would also say that it's always a bit self-selecting that because you're asking people to join a debate

and very few people feel that just the opinion, I loved it, it was great, it's enough to warrant a text or a WhatsApp message or contacting a program. So I always think we're slightly skewed. Oh yeah, of course we are. When we use that kind of metric. But do you know what, Shell goes on to say that the other thing that has been bugging her is that she isn't sure she's ever heard either of us refer to the BBC without sarcasm and criticism. You don't have to praise them, but nor do you have to constantly be rude about them. Like Kate, the BBC is another one of the UK's great assets and hugely loved around the world. Don't you think it's past time to move on?

So, Cheryl, we did. We did. And I do, I really understand your point, actually, because in the past, when I was at the BBC and people had left the BBC, had these really, really, you know, loud voices and powerful platforms to chuck stuff back at the BBC, I used to feel rather personally woeful and upset about that. I mean, especially actually when people went into politics and slung stuff back at the BBC from there.

So I do take that on board. And I suppose what is that about? Some of it is about the freedom to actually reveal some of the things that did happen in our combined 368 years of broadcasting, which you can and you shouldn't do when you're taking the public buck. But I do hear that it may just sound a little bit too vinegary and stuff, so I'm going to make a concerted effort. Because the world without the BBC would be a terrible place and I think it is a soft power that when you go abroad people cannot believe that there is a lot of knocking of the BBC because so many countries would absolutely love it. So, Cheryl, thank you.

Yeah, no thank you. And would I want to live without the BBC? Absolutely not. Not a hell's chance. Is that, is not a cat in a, oh I don't want to mention it, I've done it again. Oh Lord. Oh by the way, I'm on the All About the Archers podcast this weekend. Now, no, no, but they've asked if you would like a mug. No, of course I want to mug. I said that and I thought you'd want to be mean, but I just thought I'd check in with you so you don't a mug. No, of course I would want a mug. I said that and I thought you'd want to be mean but I just thought I'd check in with you so you don't want it. No.

Well they're sending me two so I'm going to have to give it to someone. You'll have it Hannah. Okay, great. If it ever comes on I've reached the radio and switched it off. It just gives me the giggles. I know, I know, I remember. It really does. Well I just thought I'd offer.

And sometimes at the moment, what's the thing? Is there a car being in a Ford? Oh, you have, do not underplay this tumultuous event. It's extraordinary. Because poor old Alice, who's an alcoholic, she's getting blamed for something she didn't do, V. Okay, well that's terrible. But is there a car in a Ford? There has been, yes. Sometimes I just see these images, they come up on my news feed and for a moment I think oh god I don't want to know about Hollyoaks but it appears to be the Arches. This is such a long running saga on the Arches but anyway we're talking about the BBC now

in glowing, well at least I am in glowing terms. Oh no don't you start pretending that you've been a BBC backer all the while. All the time, no I've never swerved. Don't you start pretending that you've been a BBC backer all the while. All the time, no, I've never swerved. Don't you dare. Wendy alerts us to, well, where is Nantucket? Oh god, yes. I've now moved on, I've done the second episode of The Perfect Couple. Fee's finished the whole thing.

Yes, I'm on the third episode, says Wendy, originally from Stranraer, and it's chick-lit and trashy, but it's certainly keeping me entertained. It's set in Nantucket, she says, which is an island off the coast of Cape Cod in Massachusetts. It's the smaller of the two islands off the Cape, the other one being Martha's Vineyard. Nantucket is the more exclusive and expensive and very similar in its exclusivity to the Hamptons. Long Island is in New York State, home to the Hamptons, where many wealthy New Yorkers go for the summer. Filming though actually took place in Chatham in Cape Cod. That only adds to the confusion, says Wendy. It certainly does.

It really does, Wendy. But Jenny has said your Sligo correspondent corrected you on the fact that Nantucket is part of Massachusetts, but up until 1691 it was part of New York. So you're also kind of right. Not even I was alive then. So in fairness. Thank you Jenny. That's a lovely one to get. Liz says I meant to write last night but I fell asleep. Never apologise. We like being a sleep aid. It's very easy to have three duvet weights. Now this is the kind of tip that Eve would have given us. Here's the

high tog. There's the high tog and the low tog. Put them together and you've got an even higher tog. Isn't that brilliant you've got an even higher tog. Isn't that brilliant? Well, too many togs, isn't it? No, but you could go for a low tog and a medium tog. Put them together and you've got a big tog. I want to bring in Margaret. She's in Hoy Lake. It's an extremely, very, very affluent and posh part of the Wirral. We haven't yet got our summer duvets out of the loft, she says. I'm still snuggling under ten and a half togs. How could you have done that on the very, very hot days? I was going to say, Margaret, you must have been sweating your cobblers off there, I would

have thought, because I think the Mersey Rivieres had quite a good summer. Ten and a half is way too... Briefly, we veer into nuns cardigans and we're helped here by Anne who says, I used to be a member of an enclosed Benedictine community. We made our own habits, our veils and wimples and our work clothes. The cardigans though came from M&S. The other stuff though was beautifully made to measure by a really skilled sister. We also printed our own office books using letterpress type and manual printing

presses. They were hand bound and all done in silence with incredible skill and precision. I'm vertically challenged at 4 foot 11 says Anna. I used to be 5 foot 1. Well, we're both heading to probably about 4 foot 11, aren't we? Well, I'm already in my dotage. I mean, I'm quite honestly worried that I will be invisible to the naked eye by the time I reach my 10th decade. Well, we can but hope. That you'll still be able to hear me. Yes.

And thank you. We can but hope. I like the casual way Anne just sort of misses out quite a large chunk of her life story then and just says, oh, I used to be in an enclosed Benedictine community. It's quite a thing. And now I'm listening to this Tosh. Anne, what's happened? We could do with a bit more, couldn't we?

We could do with a little bit more. But thank you, Anne, for what you've given us so far. Hi, I'm Adam Vaughan, Environment Editor for The Times. At the 2024 Times Earth Summit, our discussion on the essential steps for a net zero transition will be set against a backdrop of the biggest election year in history. The governments voted in this year will face a crucial period for the sustainability agenda. This transition will be theirs to accelerate and all our futures will be affected by whether or not they do so. To book your ticket to this year's summit, head to timesliffsummit.com forward slash virtual.

There are memoirs that tell you a little bit and memoirs that tell you a few little things. And then there are memoirs that actually do say quite a bit and tell you more than in some cases you really needed to know. Let me draw your attention to Linda La Plante's book, Getting Away With Murder, My Unexpected Life on Page, Stage and Screen. The subtitle there drawing attention to her incredible career actually as an actress initially and then as somebody who's come up and created TV shows and has gone on to be a best-selling novelist as well. She is now 81, she was born Linda Titchmarsh and says she's very grateful to her former husband for the gift of his surname which she intends to keep. Now Linda was an actress and she will exhibit some of her impersonation abilities in this interview. Then she was a hugely successful

novelist and created hit tv shows like Widows, Trial and Retribution and Prime Suspect. She says herself she's a workaholic and she has another Jane Tennyson novel, A Taste of Blood, out now. Now she became a mother when she adopted in her 50s, something which led to quite the feud with her fellow Scouser Anne Robinson after Anne Robinson was rude about Linda in her newspaper column. But that's all in the future. Let's join Linda as she grows up in a household where her dad never ever spoke directly to his mother-in-law Linda's granny who also lived in the house she just never spoke to my father and

Because there was a tragedy with my sister being killed at a very Important she was six years old Something went on between My grandmother and my father. I don't know what it was. Nothing's ever discussed at my family. It was just the way it was. Nobody said, don't you two ever speak. It was just, she moved through the house like, I mean, she was a very strong willed woman and, you know, it would be passed, tell your grandmother to pass the salt. Is your grandmother got the radio on, tell her to turn it down. That was, and we'd just say, all right, turn it down granny, whatever. And she used to live at the end of a long corridor. And again, it was very, very strange, the whole set up,

because it didn't appear odd, because that's the way it was. And one night, I was always a night wanderer, and we had a loo in this house that was one old old Victorian toilet, wooden seat, it was quite high up, with a very long chain, high up, but you had to stand on tiptoe to pull on. I'm on the lo scratching and I am terrified. So I run along the corridor to my granny and burst in and I said there's a ghost and she said no it was Wuthering Heights on the radio and it was Catherine scratching at the window to be let in. Well, your depiction of what unfolded there does illustrate what a good actress you are.

You've still got it, Linda. And I think people will be familiar with your books and with your TV stuff, but I'm not sure some readers will have known about your acting career. And were you always destined for a theatrical career at one point? I wasn't destined. Nobody in my family had anything to do with the theatre. I think they took me to a circus once but no theatre.

And I first off was doing ballet and then that fell apart and I got the fortune to have a teacher, an elocution teacher. And I loved poetry which I learned via this teacher. And when you're doing all these poetry readings, you don't move. You have to be very, very still and the voice has to be very cultured around the words of the poetry. Can you still recall some of those lines? Yes, the lotus blooms below the barren peak, the lotus blows by every winding creek. There you go. Fabulous. Creek. There you go. And you know, she one day said, would you like to be an actress? And I said, all right, yes, yes. I'd not even been in the school nativity play. I was

the one at the end and told, just keep your mouth opening and closing, but don't sing. I was one of those, you know, the bellow at the end of the line. And she said, there's a place called Radha. You will need help. And there was a Mrs. Aitken in Liverpool who taught acting. And she was 80 odd. And I remember saying to my father, I think I'm going to go and try to go to Rada. He had no idea what it was. I think he asked if it was a bar or something, but no notion that it was the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. Well, you did terribly well.

And I love some of the references in the book are to names that I did know, but I'd forgotten. Max Wall appears, for example. And please, please Linda, tell a story about Linda Baker's cigarette dispenser. Oh yes, Hilda Baker. Sorry, see. Hilda Baker. Hilda Baker. I went up for a job at the BBC and when I walked in, it's strange, this is when you're writing

your memoir, names disappear but names still can come flooding back. The director was called Michael Ferguson and when I went in he said, oh, you're not actually right. We need somebody a bit younger than you. But anyway, I've heard you've got a very good northern accent. So I said yes. So he said, well, the part is actually playing Hilda Baker's daughter. I had been obsessed by Hilda Baker. People might not know who was she. Hildebaker was a very short woman who had a stooge who she called Cynthia. And she used to say, oh Cynthia, where have you been? And she was just very, very funny about Cynthia. And she also had a huge TV series called Nelly.

And she also worked with Jimmy Jewell, another very famous stand-up comic. And so he said, would you mind reading? So I said, okay. So I read Marlene, Hilda Baker's daughter as Hilda Baker. You know, I said, I'm not going there, I'm not going to do that. And so they then said, well, look, I tell you what, I think she should play the part. So they said to me, listen, don't mimic her when you meet her, as if I would, you know, I'd show the woman respect because she was an iconic, clever, clever comedian and I adored her.

And it was hard not to laugh when she was telling you her stories, but even in line at the cafeteria at the BBC, she said to the woman serving, are you counting the fees? Because she'd given her so few. And then I got to adore her so much she took me home to her flat. And on the table was an enormous chateau, carved in wood and painted with shutters and chimneys and she said, do you like that? Isn't it beautiful? So I said, yes, it's very special. Oh, it's very, very... She said, and she twisted a knob and I'd advise her, I'd advise her, and out of every window and chimney pop cigarettes. This is fantastic.

I have never seen so many cigarettes zooming out of every single hole in this shadow. And she kept on saying, isn't that beautiful? Oh, it's beautiful. And she meant it. Yes. Yes. Honestly, this memoir is full of anecdotage of that quality. I just want to tell people that.

But can we move on because people are going to be thinking, how has this woman, Little Plant, developed all these hit TV shows and written all these books? So when did you first come up with, for example, Prime Suspect, which is the show that was so dear to so many? Well, it's a strange thing in reality is, I think you can probably look through every writer, crime writer, novel.

You kind of allowed one hit, and I had a hit with Widows, big hit, my first TV drama. And this was in the 1980s? Mid-80s. Yeah. And it was a kind of phenomenon because it starred four unknown actors that were brilliant. And then in between, what happened was people kept saying, oh, you know, can you do another robbery with a bank?

And everything was similar to Widows, widows, widows, widows. And I kept turning down everything. And then I began to write a TV series for the BBC called Civvies about paratroopers coming out of the Falkland War. That was shelved. So I was getting to a point where I knew I wasn't handling interviews in the right way because pitching an idea is quite hard. You have to learn that pitch every time you go in for an interview for a job. And I gave myself a talking to and said, look, don't go in full of ideas. Listen to what they want. Because you could go in with, you know, the most modern Hedda Gabler and you're talking to somebody that's never heard of her. So I thought, right, that's what I'm going to do. And so the producer

was a lady called Sally Head, a very, very professional and renowned producer at Granada TV. And I went in quietly and she said, oh, we love, we don't, da-da-da. So actually, we're sort of looking for ideas. So I said, well, what are you looking for? And she said, well, we're kind of interested in putting a new television drama together with a leading female detective. A plane clothes, probably somebody in the murder squad. And that's when I completely lied. And I said, that's what I've been working on.

Oh, Linda, that's awful. But it sometimes pays off, doesn't it? Well, it did because she said, have you really? I said, yes, yes, yes, I have. She said, well, that's wonderful. What's it called? And I said, Prime Suspect, Manor from Heaven. It just came. Did it. Wow.

That was it. Was that a message coming through from your granny, do you think? My grandmother, yes. She probably threw a bottle of beer towards me. Yes. So, I mean, that was a huge hit. People know that. There's been trial and retribution as well, which ran for, that ran for well over a decade, didn't it? Yeah, yeah. Of all the things you've done, the books, the acting, the telly, what gives you the most pleasure? It's very difficult to say that to actually watch on screen what you saw in your mind and what you wrote down is quite an extraordinary emotional feeling. and write so many characters, stories.

Each one is exciting. But to me, I can't differentiate and say which is better and which I've loved the most because I'm a workaholic and I have to go on better. Oh, and you've got a new novel coming out, haven't you, very soon? Yes. And that's another Jane Tennyson.

Yeah, that's very interesting to me because it's the Jane Tennyson that I've grown her from a 20-year-old young recruit straight out of training college into her life as a policewoman. So you go through the decades with her, until she reaches the age when the TV series, Prime Suspect, opened, and Dame Helen Mirren walked on the set. And so that was very, very exciting, to go through all those years, forming the character.

And you actually grow with her in a way. You see her foibles and her mistakes and in this book, I know women reading it will go, no, don't do this, please don't do, this is a bad relationship, don't, they know it, know it but she doesn't her private life has always been a bit ramshackle yeah yeah doesn't choose well well you do mention I mean there's so much we could talk about you you were married I mean your name is Titchmarsh we should say Linda Titchmarsh Linda LaPlante let's face it for showbiz purposes it's it better isn't it? Yes. Yeah. And Richard was your husband. I think it's the only decent thing he ever gave me, isn't he?

And he fought to get it back. Did he? And I wouldn't let it go. No, well that's interesting. You all, I just love the bit in the book where you reference his grandfather who in order to save petrol only drove backwards. Yes, in Pennsylvania. Okay, I mean again people have to

get the book if they want to know more about it, but also I just want to shoehorn in Paul McCartney because I think you are a scouser so Paul McCartney is bound to make an appearance and you're quite underwhelmed because he couldn't enunciate. No, I lived in a wonderfully very eccentric apartment in Queensgate. And when Paul McCartney was making his movie, Give My Regards to Broad Street, his company via somebody my husband knew came to the flat. They said, oh, this will be an incredible location. Now, my husband knew nothing about filming. No idea. And he thought this was great karma.

I said, no, they will wreck the place. They say they want to leave it exactly as it is, but I'm telling you, they will wreck the place. And he said, no, no, no, it's the Beatles. And I said, yes, I know, but I also come from Liverpool, you know. Anyway, Paul McCartney and Linda, he was then married to Linda McCartney. And I was looking after a very well-known producer's Great Dane. And it was a Holiquin Great Dane. Very large.

And Paul McCartney goes, what sort of dog is that? I said, it's a Great Dane. I said, it's a Holiquin. Linda says, what does she say? And he said, it's a Holivon Great Dane. He had no idea what it was. This dog would appear beside him all the time and I kept on seeing him looking at this enormous dog going, oh, oh. Well Linda, it has been a delight. Thank you very much for coming on and talking to us. You also, there is a rivalry with Anne Robinson, is that true? There's also a rivalry. She's also from the same Liverpool suburb, but weirdly.

There's no rivalry, I just don't know why. I've never met the woman. Why is she half? You did meet her in a restaurant once. Well I did, I wasn't going to throw that in actually. I thought it was a little bit... In the book, Linda? Well, I mean I don't know why she was so abusive towards me. And she was abusive towards me at a very, very difficult time when I had just adopted my son.

And I don't know why she had it in for me. And so I got so angry, I said, I, next time I see her, I will throw a bowl of spaghetti over her head. Just do that. Anyway, I was at the Ivy restaurant when she walked in and I happened to say to the person I was dining with, oh dear I have a problem, and he was called Ivan Massar, his name, and I said well know, I've got to throw a bowl of spaghetti over Anne Robinson because she's been so awful. You know, listen, I admire this lady. She's a great professional woman.

But personally, I don't know why somebody attacks for no reason. Anyway, he said, I think that's rather childish. And besides, the Ivy don't serve spaghetti bolognese. So why don't you be adult and go over and apologize to Anne Robinson? I said, all right, yes. So I walked over and I said, excuse me, you don't know me, but you have hurt me so much. What did she do? She wrote vicious things about my age in the paper and that I was too old to have a son. It was very, very painful.

I should just in case people haven't followed this, you were in your 50s at the time. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so I thought, I mean she stirred it up to the fact that I had press outside my house, I had press searching my dustbins. Anyway, I went over and I said, you don't know me, I've never met you before, I don't know why you've been so vitriolic about me. And I really dislike you intensely." And she said, I said,

Well, I've done it. And I went back to the table and I told Ivan Masau what I'd said. And I thought, well, that's over and done with. And the following day in the Daily Mail Mail front page was a picture of Anne Robinson and a picture of Linda La Plante with very large headlines saying, which of these women would you throw a bowl of spaghetti over? I think we will leave it there. But we should say the sun is the light of your life. And I think, does he live within your property?

Yes, he's now 21. 21, and still living, well my kids are still living at home. Training to be a pilot. Oh well, fair. Good job, well done, I would have thought, Linda. Lovely to meet you, thank you very much. Thank you very much, thank you. Linda La Plante, and obviously, and obviously she is from a part of the northwest of England. In fairness for yesterday's guests, Kenton Cool did come

from Slough. I know but I just wouldn't have wanged on about it. I tell you what, I don't, I just don't, I just don't understand. It is quite a specific thing isn't it? The need for a Liverpoolian to tell you very, very, very early on that they're from Liverpool. And I genuinely don't... Do you think they are... I don't really get that because... The vegans of the British geography world. Well, I honestly haven't... I just haven't come across that with people who are from Newcastle or...

Oh no, Geordies! Geordies, the first thing they say is, I'm a Geordie. I remember once going on holiday and meeting some young lads who said said what do you think of Geordies? I said I've never thought about them. Partly because I'm a scassar and that's what we do is think about ourselves. Okay. Okay. Well let's try, also we're taking a- Did Kenton Call mention Slough a lot? Well he did actually.

Did he? Sorry. He did talk about it. Sorry. Were you not fully alert? He did because he was quite funny because he was a mountaineer and he said well you know there weren't many mountains in Slough. I should have listened to that interview, I've just revealed something terrible. Do you know what, I actually went to the canteen to buy some cookies during the interview for the team yesterday. Heart of gold. Anyway, that was Kenton and that was also Linda and

we're also, we should say, we're in a metaverse here because we're talking, we're up our own fondament verse because we're talking about an interview that's yet to take place. Aren't we clever? So let's hope we're not caught out. Anyway, if you've kept up with Linda, the plot reveals she's not from Liverpool after all. She could be from Slough. That's her deep secret. Let's see if I have unearthed that nugget. I certainly haven't. Right. Thank you for putting up with this. We are back tomorrow. Quick mention to Rachel. Rachel says, I am using the podcast for the exact

opposite reason to those people who use it to fall asleep. I put you on when I'm feeding or trying to settle my colicky five week old. I have done since he was born. It is lovely to have some company at four in the morning. And the fact that you're both so jovial takes the sting out of being awake in the night. It can feel claustrophobic and overwhelming. Rachel, we hear you, we've been there. Sorry, that sounds patronising to say we've been there, although we have, I mean for what it's worth. And sending lots of love and honestly they are special challenging times they don't go on forever they really really don't but in the moment they feel like they do and that's the problem with them yeah we're here to tell you the stuff

on the other side so I hope you've had a relatively good night and to everybody else good morning because you may have left us playing overnight and for God's sake check your pets. Congratulations, you've staggered somehow to the end of another Off Air with Jane and Fee. Thank you. If you'd like to hear us do this live, and we do do it live, every day, Monday to Thursday, 2 till 4 on Times Radio. The jeopardy is off the scale, and if you listen to this you'll understand exactly why that's the case. So you can get the radio online, on DAB, or on the free Times Radio app.

Off Air is produced by Eve Salisbury and the executive producer is Rosie Cutler.