Off Air... with Jane and Fi - Meeting the love of your life in SpudULike

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

Jane² are bringing you an email special and they tackle all the big questions. What's in their everything drawers? Is Jane G related to Pom Boyd? Will a suppository help with homesickness? Listen to find out. And our next book club pick has been announced - A Dutiful Boy by Mohsin Zaidi. If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram! @janeandfi Assistant Producer: Hannah Quinn Times Radio Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And they absolutely have the whiff of capitalism. I mean, quite what Alan Titchmarsh's gardening denim smell of. I wouldn't have thought capitalism was the first thing that springs to mind. VoiceOver describes what's happening on your iPhone screen. VoiceOver on. Settings. So you can navigate it just by listening. Books. Contacts. Calendar, double tap to open. Breakfast with Anna from 10 to 11.

And get on with your day. Accessibility. There's more to iPhone. This is, oh gosh, I sounded terribly authoritative and probably a bit noisy there. This is an off-air email special with Malkerins and Garvey. I don't know that I've done an email special with you before. Well, it's a big... This is a big...

It's a big responsibility. It's a big responsibility. And I don't know whether you're going to rise to the occasion, Jane. I don't know if I'm up for it. Because I suspect you are the kind of person who let the whole school down. Frequently. Quite frequently. And my parents.

And your parents. Which is particularly embarrassing since one of them worked at the school. I know that. And I think that must have been... Well, they do still talk to you, I know. But, gosh, it's been a long old haul, hasn't it? Bringing up Jane Mulkerries. Did I tell you I went to the funeral of my old English teacher last week? I don't know. Ohir. Did I tell you I went to the funeral of my old English teacher last week?

I don't know. Or the week before. I went to the funeral of my old English teacher who was incredibly formative. So she not only taught me A-level English and cast me in the drama productions and taught me debating and all of those things, but also taught me off the ledge for a lot of sixth form

when I was just, you know, there was a lot of rebellion wanting to come out, which needed to be kept in in order to stay in school. But it was lovely to go to her funeral and see her kids, some of whom were in my year, and all my old teachers, who did comment on the fact that mainly it wasn't at all surprising that I had turned talking into part of my job. OK, but it's a very sweet form of revenge, isn't it? It really is. Also a very lazy form of revenge. Oh, this thing you just told me off for doing all the time. Well, now I just do it all the time still. I have always wondered, though, what is it like to be at a school where a parent is a teacher?

That's a very particular dynamic. Yeah. So we were talking about it actually at the funeral and my mum and I have talked about it quite a bit because I felt I had to behave better because I didn't want to embarrass her. So all the smoking on the field that I would have done, I tried to keep a lid on and sort of all that, you know, I still answered back and I was...

It's hard to imagine, Jane, but I was quite truculent. Very hard to imagine, you know, I still answered back. And I was, it's hard to imagine, Jane, but I was quite truculent. Very hard to imagine, I know, being the entirely sunny person I am now. But she said, interestingly, that she also behaved herself better because she didn't want to embarrass me. So we do share some of those quite similarly truculent traits. And, you know, I think she felt that there were situations in which she held her tongue and perhaps didn't stick her neck on the line because she didn't want to be, you know, a teacher

who was maybe causing ructions when the kids were at the school. I get that. I think that's a really interesting aspect of that. My first job was a medical records clerk in a hospital in Liverpool when I just left uni. And my mum was the receptionist at the hospital. That's kind of how I got the job, let's be honest. It was a temporary contract. I didn't excel. But I remember seeing my mother in a whole new light

because I saw her once coming out... Well, I actually met her, by pure chance, coming out of the tuck shop at the hospital with a load of licorice strings. And I just thought, you're a figure of authority, but actually you spend your lunch hour hanging around in the tuck shop buying licorice, eating sweets with your mates.

And you suddenly realise, my God, this woman has a life outside the home. I had no idea. She even seems to have friends. Good Lord. It's funny. We were driving from the funeral to the pub that we were all meeting in afterwards. And there was a pub near the school, near our old school.

And we drove past and my mum just said, oh, and Jane Kirby and Anne Jones, which is the English teacher who'd passed away, and my old history teacher, she said, oh, we used to go there on lunchtimes on a Friday for a jacket potato. And I just thought, I never knew that you went to the pub at lunchtime on a Friday. She said, we didn't drink, obviously, but... Just had a jacket. But I just, the idea of these, there were teachers in thetime on a Friday. We didn't drink, obviously, but... Just had a jacket. But I just, the idea of these, they were teachers in the pub on a Friday,

eating baked carbohydrates. Yeah, exactly. It's that thing of having a life, going out and gossiping with her colleagues on a Friday, which, of course, is perfectly normal and to be encouraged. But I just, we didn't think of teachers like that. It never even occurred to me on a Friday afternoon, when we were sitting in a lesson

that the teachers were as eager for four o'clock as you were. I just thought, I mean, they like it here. They've chosen this. Sometimes coming on a weekend they love it so much. Yeah, I mean, you're so selfish and you're so self-involved at that age. It's just all about your own suffering, isn't it? Perhaps I haven't changed all that much.

Just for anybody listening outside the UK, a jacket potato is simply that. I mean, honestly, it's the height of sophistication, isn't it? I used to be quite... I've slightly gone off them. Do you ever have a jacket? No, I don't really. They make me a bit tired. You can't have them on a whim because they take about an hour and a quarter.

It's true, and a microwave-dunk potato is no sort of a jacket potato. They're disgusting. And we used to have a Spudgy-like in my shopping centre. Spedulicay. Spedulicay. Spedulicay or Spudgy-like is the greatest name for a chain of high street food emporiums. They went some years ago, didn't they?

They did. I wonder what happened. I don't know. And I'm sorry to... Maybe it's when carbs got a bad name. It was Victoria Wood who called them Spicula Cade, wasn't it? The Italian version of... But it is... Only Britain could have, and possibly Ireland,

could have a chain of food outlets just selling large potatoes. Anyway, there you go. If you've got fond memories of Spudgy Like, perhaps you met the love of your life in a branch of Spudgy Like, or you work there. What was your favourite topping? My favourite topping was cheese and beans, isn't it? Cheesy beans. is a spudgy like. Perhaps you met the love of your life in a branch of spudgy like. Or you work there. I would love to. What was your favourite topping? My favourite topping was cheese and beans, isn't it?

Mmm, cheesy beans. Yeah, it's all you ever need, really. I don't mind a tuna sweetcorn with some mayonnaise. No, I don't like that. OK. Well, shall we move on to the actual emails then? Yeah, go on then. And away from the potatoes.

It's been a big day in Britain because as we speak, and I should be honest with you, although you might be hearing this on a Wednesday, it's actually Tuesday still. I can't believe you pulled the curtain back on that one. I was going to pretend it was Wednesday. No, I'm sticking.

I came from the BBC. We try to be accurate. Radical honesty. And there's just a great headline here on the BBC News website, actually, although the Times is covering it too. North Korea TV censors Alan Titchmarsh's trousers. And this is just a slightly mysterious story about... No-one knows how North Korean television has got hold of a 2010 edition

of an Alan Titchmarsh gardening show. They're showing it in the morning on North Korean state television and they don't like denim. So they've had to... they sort of blur out the trousers because they're deemed to be irresponsible. They smack of capitalism. And they absolutely have the whiff of capitalism. I mean, quite what Alan Titchmarsh's gardening denim smell of. I wouldn't have thought capitalism was the first thing that springs to mind.

But anyway, but this is interesting. The Sunday Times revealed in 2014 that BBC Worldwide, that used to be the name of the corporation's commercial arm, BBC Studios, and the Foreign Office were hoping to open the North Korean people's eyes to the world beyond the closed republic without offending the regime. And the idea was that the BBC would send programmes to North Korea which would be deemed suitable. And what they considered was Mr Bean, EastEnders, wouldn't have thought that would, Miss Marple

or Poirot. An official said, we couldn't have sent Dad's army as that's about war. Well, yes. I mean, sort of. Yes, only sort of. But Teletubbies could have been an option or the good life. I thought Teletubbies was a little bit spooky and sort of

possibly a little bit like the pictures I've seen of North Korea. There was also rather a sweet, quite camp Tubby. So I'm not sure that would have gone down all that well in North Korea. But anyway, as far as I know, and as far as this article in Today, Tuesday, reports, there was no official deal with North Korea to give them BBC programmes. So the mystery remains how did they get hold of Garden Secrets? Who knows?

Spookily enough, I thought I saw Alan Titchmarsh on Sunday in Snape Maltings where I was this lovely little sort of arts centre. Have you gone away back from Norfolk? Where you're visiting gardens? No, well, no. I mean, it was just, it was a nice place to stop off. We all start that way, love. It had, it was just, it was a nice place to stop off.

We all start that way, love. It had, it's beautiful, Snake Martins. It's sort of got a big concert hall and it has got a lot of very fancy. It's in Suffolk. It's on the way back from Southwold. Oh, spooky Southwold. And lovely, like a really fancy deli and cafe and whatnot. But there is like a home a big home garden shop, which I went for a wander in,

and I really thought I saw Alan Titchmarsh, but he looked quite young. So I had to Google, while I was looking at this man, I was Googling Alan Titchmarsh to see how grey he was right now. And this man, unless Alan Titchmarsh has had a recent dye job, wasn't Alan Titchmarsh. And I'm sure this man wondered quite why I was doing so many laps of him with my phone. He's a man so he probably just thought you really fancied it. Yeah. Okay what

have you got? So we have had so many emails about funerals and various aspects of funerals but I wanted to read this one out from she just calls herself a loyal listener doesn't want to her name she doesn't want to offend the Freemasons. But funerals first. I wouldn't worry too much. My parents were Irish and both came from large families. We had no idea how many people would attend their funerals. So we had to do rough calculations regarding relatives and friends.

This was complicated by the fact that sausage rolls and pickled onions, a.k.a. the beige buffet, would not suffice. A roast dinner plus dessert, if not entirely expected, could be replaced by a large gammon and a side of beef and obviously several different varieties of cooked potato.

Our listener says, the absence of either of the above catering options would be considered bad form. We went for the roast dinner i think i always think that's wise but for a funeral a free bar is a must says our listener the bar bill alone for each of her parents funerals was 2500 pounds each do you know my family okay were they all there and i attended a wake recently where a band was in attendance yes they are pricey, she says.

Unfortunately, mum and dad had the money to cover them, but they are wonderful celebrations. And as your other Irish contributor referred to attendees, you really do notice those who don't come and it is considered bad form. Maybe a lot of people come for the roast dinner as well as the paying respects. A roast dinner for an unspecified amount of people

plus a free bar is a fair old outlay, isn't it? It is a considerable outlay. I mean, we're not far off the cost of a wedding there. Yeah. In fact, very similar in lots of ways. But probably a bit less tension in the air at a funeral or at a wake. Well, I love the idea of a roast dinner at an event like that. Susan says, love the podcast.

I've been listening since Radio 4 days. Goodness me. I'm currently enjoying the Dublin-based comedy drama The Dry. Yeah, I've seen that on ITVX. That is very, very good. Great ensemble of funny and appalling characters, she says.

Jane, are you related to Pom Boyd who plays the mother, Bernie? I'm not. I don't know why you think I might be. I can't. It's a while ago since I watched that. Does she look like me or sound like me? Or is she called Garb?

No, she's not. She's called Pom Boyd. So, no, I don't know. Tell me more about that. But I'm not related to her as far as I know. And this is relating back to some emails the week before last couple of weeks ago about exchanges, exchange stories. Emily says in 1981, age 14, I went to Brittany on our school exchange. My friend Alison felt desperately homesick within days of arriving, but we hadn't

at that point been taught the French word for homesickness. Instead, she managed to convey to her host family that she had a bad headache. A doctor was summoned. After a brief examination and very limited communication, he administered the standard French cure for heart headaches. A suppository. Needless to say, she hasn't been back to France since. OK. So they do do that so much more often than we do.

But my question is, and medical people will be able to answer this, perhaps even you will, Jane, with your, I'm going to say, expansive life experience. Does pain relief work quicker? Yeah. Administered that way? No.

Just as simple as that, is it? It gets into your bloodstream quicker. Oh, so it's that simple? Mm. Okay. Right. Mm. I don't know what to say. Yeah, I think,, so it's that simple. Okay. Right. I don't know what to say. I think, yeah, let's not get too medical.

It's about to do with the membrane walls. Okay, because this is not, as you may have noticed, it's not a medical podcast. But I'm grateful for the information and I'll carry it with me through life. Sharon says, I was listening to your interview with Jeff Norcott and this is interesting

because it's about being a medical student at university. Geoff Norcott's documentary about whether it was worth it going to university these days, bearing in mind the loans and just the tough time that a lot of students have had lately, is on the BBC iPlayer, and we talked to Geoff last week. Sharon says, I started uni in the early noughties. I was doing medicine. My parents were not in a situation to help me financially, so I was allowed the maximum student loan and my fees, which were at

the time around three grand a year, were paid by the state. I worked full-time in a clothes shop back home during my holidays for the first couple of years and that gave me enough. I would have struggled to work term time as the course was pretty full on no humanity style nine hours a week for us i would say my finances were meager but sufficient i didn't have to think twice about going on nights out at student clubs where you can get a shot for 50p but i did have to turn down outings to football matches and ski trips i only felt hard done by when i compared myself to my peers. I didn't know this, but she says lots had their student loans in an ISA while their parents gave them an allowance and paid their rent. I suppose that is an option. I never thought of that. Many frequently spent their holidays skiing

and travelling for many weeks at a time, not picking up hangers from the floor of a changing room. Some had never had a job in any capacity, which I struggled to fathom as all my school friends had Saturday jobs. Things did get tight towards the end of my degree. From memory, our final year was 48 weeks, so no time to work outside it and earn any money. We were also on rotations and attachments with the expectation of being able to get ourselves there. So we're often expected to have cars.

I applied for a hardship loan for 500 quid, which was initially rejected. I broke down in tears when I learned that my very rich but useless with money housemate had got one. Her father was an expert at moving money around efficiently. Oh, dear. Sharon, I mean, I really appreciate that insight. And I know that things have obviously, this is some time ago, but she says now,

working crazy hours meant I didn't have the chance to spend much. And those credit cards and bank loans were cleared within six months. Oh, well done. Juniors these days don't get their accommodation paid for and their wages adjusted for inflation are around 30% less. In fact, the truth is their pay slips look similar to mine

from 20 years ago, although the cost of living is obviously so much higher. That is true. I mean, I know you can look at it and it doesn't look as though doctors are poorly paid, but actually it's not all that easy at all. Sharon, thank you for that. I know. And I think that's probably the same with many professions.

When you look at what people are paid at entry level jobs now, probably exactly the same as they were 20 years ago. Certainly in the media, I would say that's true as well. Yeah, I think it is true. You look at young people starting out now and unless they have people helping them or somewhere to live where they can live cheaply or rent-free, it's really difficult. I think starting in the media now is almost... I mean, I was only able to do it because I got housing benefit

and I was living in a bedsit in the Midlands, so my costs were not that high. How I'd get into the media now if I were me back then, if that makes any sense. I haven't got a clue. No. No. I mean, it's prohibitive.

Yeah. Because starting salaries are so low. You don't even have a salary. Shift work, whatever. No. Internships. Internships where you don't get paid. I mean, that's a fast thing.

Interestingly, we were talking about this university question with my friends at the weekend. All of us did go to university because we sort of came from families where education was very much, university question um with my friends at the weekend all of us did go to university um because we sort of came from families where education was very much you know uh encouraged and our parents had been the first in their families to go to university so it was sort of seen as a thing you did and we were talking about whether we would go now and actually this is um an interesting email

from a listener who didn't go to university um it's a long email and i forgive me for not reading all of it out because it's quite detailed about her own very specific experiences but she went to a very academic school but chose not to go to university um and has now got a very successful job in pr in fact um is global head of pr a big marketing agency um and our listener says while I've had a lot of positive experience from not going to university, growing up faster, no student debt, quicker career progression,

there is a flip side, and I'm certainly not anti-university. The older I get, the more I regret missing out on some of the formative social experiences that university brings. When I'm in a group of people reminiscing about university days, which to be fair happens far less frequently when you're hurtling towards 40, she says,

I feel sad to have nothing to contribute. And honestly, when an item of small talk, an acquaintance or colleague, asks where I went to university, I long to say notting more leads and move on, rather than trotting out my well-rehearsed anecdote about the US not working out. So she did go to university briefly in the US, but didn't enjoy it. However, with the cost of university being what it is nowadays, it's a large price to pay for a social experience and an easy question to answer I don't wish to be glib as I know there are many professions a lot more important to the world than PR which require a degree but I just think we need some nuance in how we approach the subject

and I think I think that it's so true it is a social experience but it's a very expensive one and I think there are, you know, there should be other social experiences that you can have. That are broadly similar. Yeah. But don't, yeah, I mean, it doesn't seem, I don't know. My children, the youngest one is just about to finish at university, which, by the way, we can't discuss,

because when that topic comes up, everybody gets emotional, so we can't go there. But she has got to confront her future. And I think in some ways, it can it can just extend your childhood a little bit if you're fortunate. Yeah, you are very fortunate than it can. And you can explore issues and topics that you might otherwise not have bumped up against. I know I certainly did do that, although university wasn't a particular highlight for me. I was certainly a bit socially out of my depth at times, I think. But I was made to think about things that I wouldn't otherwise have thought about. And I was also with a lot of people who were a lot cleverer than me and a lot more able in the subject. And that can also be chastening and useful, can't it? Absolutely. Absolutely. But sometimes I just think it does mean that the actual real life,

because it does have to start at some point, it just puts it off a bit. Yeah, there's a bit of a rusting development that goes with it. I have to say, I had an incredible three years and learnt a lot academically, learnt how to think, learnt how to deal with a lot of things, edited a newspaper, played football, made great friends. I loved it.

Did you edit the student newspaper? I did. What was it called? Varsity. Which university was this? Cambridge. Varsity. Varsity.

Why didn't they call it university? Because they don't speak like that. That's why they called it Varsity. University. Okay. I obviously don't speak like that. That's what they called it. You would have asked me. Okay. Do you know what? I obviously don't speak like that. No, but this is interesting

because I have known you for a fair time now. You have never mentioned that you went to Cambridge until now. So that, I think, makes you unique amongst people

who went to Oxford or Cambridge. The old joke, isn't it? Well, I bet it's an old joke because it's a cliché and clichés are clichés because they're true. People normally

can't wait to tell you. Why have you held back um i don't think you ever asked and it's not something i feel it's it's necessary to tell people unless they ask but most generally people don't ask and you still get um well i do think it's been incredibly helpful to my career because i think when particularly when you're starting out trying to get things like work experience I think it's it's very easy for them to look at an application or a letter and just say okay that person is possibly you know competent and academically able doesn't mean you're any good at journalism but it helped me get onto a postgraduate degree and then it helped me get work experience so it helped me get a foot in the door but interestingly also nobody asked me where I went to university for about the first 10 years of my

career that must have been frustrating you'll be dying I tell them in my pocket can't I show you my degree certificate no because I don't think it's important it doesn't make any difference how good you are as a journalist um and I think I love the fact that nobody ever asked because yeah one of my editors knew me for three years before he realized that I went to he went to Cambridge too. We just never talked about it. But I thought that was really nice because, you know, it should be on how good you are at doing the job and, you know.

Well, of course it should be. Yeah. So maybe, yeah, I'm proud of it. I'm really proud of it. Because you should be. I'm really proud of it and I had a wonderful time. But I think it's a very specific experience and it is incredibly well funded and very well resourced. And, you know, I got there for no money.

I mean, it was still no fees when I was there. And I feel so fortunate to have had that experience for no money. If I had to pay a lot of money for it, well, I don't know that I'd have done it because my parents would have been able to afford it. I wouldn't have wanted to sadden myself with that much debt.

But it was an incredibly unique and wonderful environment. I've only been to Cambridge a few times. I mean, it is astonishingly beautiful. It's really pretty, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, it's a bit more than pretty. It depends when you're seeing it. I mean, times a year, times a day. But, I mean, just astonishing.

Not quite the real world. No, well, that's also why I quite enjoyed it, because it's not the real world for three years. And when did you get the opportunity to live sort of out of time for three years? I just thought it was, I was very grudging about going because I wanted to go to a big northern university and go to lots of nightclubs. But anyway, I actually do, after a long time of not going back, I go back quite a lot now because Dorothy Byrne, who you may know,

who's the head of Channel 4 News and Current Affairs, is now the president of my former college and has basically corralled me into doing all sorts of alumni things because and basically I would do anything she tells me because she's a very formidable woman. She is a woman who's said some quite important things about the media

and how it operates, isn't she? Yeah. I think she's probably put probably the right noses out of joint. Absolutely. Yeah, she's mischievous. More power to her. She's incredibly mischievous. And I quite like to be her when I grow up. OK.

VoiceOver describes what's happening on your iPhone screen. VoiceOver on. Settings. So you can navigate it just by listening. Books. Contacts. Calendar. Double tap to open. Breakfast with Anna from 10 to 11.

And get on with your day. Accessibility. There's more to iPhone. We've been perhaps not hard on the Freemasons exactly. I think they're going to be OK. I think they'll be fine. But Caroline writes to say, they are a society of like-minded people with secrets. They are not a secret society.

Ooh, interesting. OK. My husband has attended meetings for over 30 years and in that time I have accompanied him to ladies' nights and several other social events. At one of these ladies' nights I had to speak on behalf of the wives as my husband Tom was in the chair. He was the master of the lodge that year. The Masons silently raise a lot of money for local and worldwide charities. Teddies for Love and Care is a commonly known one on children's wards.

Also Masonic Widows, not windows not windows masonic widows and countless medical fundraisers they are there are ladies lodges they're popular and contribute in the same way as their male counterparts hope this is of help says caroline and caroline it is and thank you very much for that um i yeah i mean i get i like that like-minded people with secrets not a secret society like minded people with secrets maybe that's a title for a book we were going to talk about pensions weren't we

I was also aware that we were talking about waspy women with a presumption that people might know what we were talking about which lots of our international listeners may not. Can I have a quick chat? Is a brief explainer coming up? Brief explainer. Well, just because I also, it was helpful to me to go and read exactly what we were talking about.

So WASPI women are women whose state pension age, women whose state pension age, the age that they can draw their state pension, was raised over a specific time between 2010 and 2020, supposedly, but then it was brought forward a bit by successive governments, and it meant that some women had to work for longer or live on less for several years, and there has been this proposal to compensate them

to the tune of, she says, turning her pages, trying to find the number. Well, potentially. It was up to 10 grand, I think. But I think that would be just about unaffordable. Yeah. So obviously there's a campaign for the WASP. The Women Against State Pension Inequality have been lobbying the government for many years about this and they reckon 2.6 million women were affected by it.

Do you know, I was out with a friend last night who said that she thought one of the problems with WASPI women, because I mentioned earlier in the week that so many people are so unpleasant about them, is actually the name WASPI. WASPI women. And perhaps something could be done about that. By the way, I also, I don't know if you know,

I've no idea what kind of provision there is for state pensions in the United States um no what do you get when do you get it to women and men retire at the same age i don't know okay there's a you pay into your 401k which is a private pension i don't know what you get from the state uh i basically because i didn't earn american money for very long while i was there and i sort of knew that I probably wouldn't stay for the rest of my life. Pensions was something I just didn't get involved in. I mean, I didn't have health care for most of the time I lived there, so I definitely wasn't getting a pension.

Oh, my God. Yeah, I know, reckless. You are quite reckless. Carry on. So, interestingly, we were talking about there being pushback against the WASPI women, and some of that pushback today comes from one of my esteemed Times colleagues. Is that Mr. William Hague? Lord William Hague.

Lord William Hague, who was basically the Prime Minister who brought in... Well, he wasn't the Prime Minister, was he? No, he was the... Sorry, no, he was the... He wasn't ever the Prime Minister, which is part of the point. He was responsible for being in Parliament when the Pensions Act was enacted. Yeah, because of what his role was. Don't worry, Jane, because I've read that article too and I can't remember. Anyway, he says that he doesn't think that this merits compensation

adding up to the amount that people are claiming it should. He says many MPs want to please constituents who complain to them, so they campaign for large compensation while often arguing for lower taxes at the same time. He can't help both. And as he does rightly say, it's easy for me, one who's long since stopped running for election, to blurt out the truth as I see it.

He basically is saying that the compensation would have to be paid by current taxpayers, you know, those of us who are never going to get to retire there's a chart on that bbc news story i just couldn't look at it because when are you going to retire 105 exactly um but i think it is an interesting point that current taxpayers who are going to have a much later retirement age would be playing into the pot of But I also think that... Yeah, I'm really conflicted on this one. I do have sympathy for these women.

I think some of them, you could have argued, should have known. I think some of the publicity around the change was really poor. It wasn't properly targeted. And then also the change was changed. Yes, and then the change was changed. And that's when the marketing around it got even worse, as far as I understand. Also, some of these women were just so preoccupied with the kind of responsibilities that do always, it seems, fall to women, i.e. caring for older relatives, etc. And also, it's not a level playing field because the women never earned as much as the men in the first place.

So their pensions were never... I mean, we all know this. Well, this is the thing. You're looking at women who were born in the 1950s and they were never paid as much as men. They probably would have taken quite a few years out of their working lives, if not big chunks of their working lives, to raise their children. For other kinds of care. Yeah, and then you think...

And actually you don't want to give them a few extra grand at the end for all of those years of missing out on salaries. But then as you say, should the young people in their 20s who will, let's be honest, never get a state pension, I don't think they can, I don't think they can, should they have to fork out for this? As well as never being able to buy a house or any of the other things. Never buy a house, no, you can forget that.

I mean, that's the problem. So answers on a postcard, please, to Jane and Fee at Times.Radio. What about American pension arrangements? Well, I'm going to throw that one over to Rina, who has emailed from the States. I moved from London to Phoenix, Arizona 25 years ago, she says. I do have friendships here, but they lack depth. I mean, this is Rina talking, not me. My American friends tend to overshare about their lives. Is that your experience? We'll come on to that. OK.

And are not interested in anything out of their direct sight. They are lovely, but I can't talk to them about books or films that I enjoy. We can't talk about the weather or the news. Is that because the weather is just always the same in Phoenix? It probably is, actually. I don't know why you can't talk about the news. I am terrified, says Rina, of another Trump presidency. Oh, I see. But they don't care, as it really has no effect on their daily life. So our interactions are superficial, but necessary. She has said she's stayed friends with the girls she met at 16 doing A-levels at Greenhill College in Harrow.

So a shout-out to them, Rina. I'm sure they'll know who they are. We've remained firm ever since. Pop culture, music, bad telly, books, films, crushes and family. The friends that share your history are the ones that truly know you. It's a connection I didn't appreciate until I came over here. Well, again, thank you for that, Rina. I think that's... And she did say she came over here. Well, yeah, thank you for that, Reena. I think that's...

And she did say she came over at Christmas and it was just wonderful. She met up with them all again and they were just back to where they started. But, OK, let's get the Malkeran's take on Americans and friendships and oversharing. I do think they are culturally different and I think the oversharing thing,

particularly amongst women, is a particular trait. Well, can you give me an example? People are just much quicker to tell you about their feelings. Even people in England will say, I think, whereas in America people say, I feel. It's a lot about feelings. People will talk about their feelings and will go pretty deep into their own personal experiences

quite early on with you. But I will say I was very fortunate. I did have a group of people that I could talk to about books. Books in particular, I was in the most amazing book club in New York with incredibly dynamic intelligent um kind inspiring women who I'm still in a whatsapp group with and I still talk to all the time and I did make very deep friendships but I think the difference is we do have a different sense of humor um And so you do, it takes you a while to find the people who are really on your wavelength and get your sense of humour.

And I will say, and this is a terrible generalisation, they don't banter as well in America. So that sort of very British thing where you show affection by being a bit savage and sort of tossing it... Have you worked long with my producing team? Bloody hell. Tossing it backwards and forwards. It's just a different sort of tossing it... Have you worked long with my producing team? Bloody hell. Tossing it backwards and forwards. It's just a different sort of sense of humour. So you do have to seek out those people

and when you find them, lasso them and hold on to them. Yeah. Yes, because... So what Reena's saying and what you're saying is that they're not unfriendly. That's really unfair. Incredibly friendly. Incredibly friendly.

Very kind. Yes. But slightly baffled by our approach to life yeah you know with they don't really understand self-deprecation a lot of people would say why would you say those things about yourself oh really yeah i don't think i'd last long there right i'm going to allow you one more oh gosh can you pick one i'm just again looking at the time the pressure young hannah's got to get home she's got a life life. Oh, can I read this one? Yeah.

Whatever it is. This is from Sarah, who says, I had to delve into that drawer in an attempt to find the superglue, which ended in getting the whole drawer out in a vain attempt to close it again. Okay, I love this. And Sarah's list of discoveries in that drawer. 18 hairbands, 8 hand creams, 12 batteries, dead batteries dead or alive no idea a gang of badges and pins from various trips 23 keys seven unidentifiable five lighters in a non-smoking

household a kazoo everyone's got one of those everyone's got one an energy saving gizmo a false moustache various amusing passport photos, three packets of wildflower seed mix and the super glue that had dried out. Right. I think that's brilliant. Perhaps people could tell us what's in their drawers. I call it a dad drawer

because it is just one of those things that has all of your dad's bits in it. And it doesn't matter. I haven't lived with my parents for many, many years. That's good to know. But I, whenever, and I've not lived places for very long

and then suddenly six months later you've got a drawer full of old coins and lighters, kazoos, moustaches and super glue and you don't know where it's come from.

Have you got a drawer with string in it? Yeah. Yeah, I've got string. I've got string, but why I've got string? And some rubber bands, I don't know where they came from. And then many

many Christmases ago, my mum sent me 200 metres of cling film. I think I've finished it and now she's sent me another two. I got it for Christmas this year. Thank goodness. In fact, I think I posed for a merry photograph on Christmas morning. Oh, it's quite hard to know what face to pull when you

open up your jumbo Lakeland cling film offering. But, hey, it's what Christmas is all about. I don't know why I'm talking about it. You're buying in bulk. We're in March. Let's just forget I ever mentioned it. You've got how many?

Nine months to get through this one for the next year. OK, thank you very much. And thank you, Jane. Thank you. Lovely to see you. And thanks for your emails. Keep them coming. Jane and Fi at times.radio. Fi is back next week, but Jane and I are back tomorrow.

Your time, which will be Thursday in the real world. Well done for getting to the end of another episode of Off Air with Jane Garvey and Fee Glover. Our Times Radio producer is Rosie Cutler and the podcast executive producer is Henry Tribe. And don't forget, there is even more of us every afternoon on Times Radio. It's Monday to Thursday, three till five. You can pop us on when you're pottering around the house or heading out in the car on the school run or running a bank thank you for joining us and we hope you can join us again

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