Off Air... with Jane and Fi - Stark naked, starting the 100m (with Prof. Brian Cox)

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

The heat wave has got to Jane and Fi so buckle up for this episode... they cover foxes, naked Olympics and the true history of Kellogg's.Plus, Jane speaks to Prof. Brian Cox in light of his show 'Symphonic Horizons' running at the Royal Opera House.Our next book club pick has been announced! 'Missing, Presumed' is by Susie Steiner.If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] us on Instagram! @janeandfiPodcast Producer: Eve SalusburyExecutive Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's like we had glue dripping off our lips, isn't it? It was so syrupy. It was something. And strawberry. Something that boys couldn't get enough of, according to Jackie magazine. Well, they weren't wrong. They were not wrong. Now, I've been told that people want more chat about bins,

and we'll get on to that in a moment. Well, our producer wants more chat about bins. No, not Eve. No, a more senior individual. Eve has useful tips. Although she's been a bit quiet on the tip front lately. Oh, there is one coming in. Right, put your microphone on.

This is how we bring young people on. I told you about this one earlier. It's quite an obvious one, but I've been really big into cold showers just before bed, getting your hair freezing cold wet, and then getting into bed, and it keeps you cool all the night long. Brilliant.

Golden. Thanks very much. I'll issue an apology to celebrity listener and LBC presenter, whatever that is, Ian Dale, who claims it was raining on the night of the London 2012 Olympic opening ceremony. Because he was there, it was his first ever OB, and to quote him, he ended up sitting in a sort of puddle of water, which he claims was the rain.

OK, so my memory's so different. There you go. We had a big party and everyone was outside. I don't think we were outside. Even I had a party and I don't remember it raining. No, neither do I. Ian's lying. No, perhaps just exaggerating, which neither of us ever does. Ian,

stay with us, love. Don't worry, you will, because I think he's on holiday, so he doesn't have any options. Quite a big accusation. Right, so do you want to do bins now? Should we just do bins? Do you think it's something to do with the heat? Because the foxes in my area are obviously going bonkers.

They did break into the food bin again overnight last night. So I was out on my front path this morning, very, you know, barely dressed, about 6.30. And they'd had another go at the chicken carcass. Well, of course. But they'll just eat. I didn't realise they ate the bones. Of course. I'll tell you what they didn't like, though. Plant-based sausages. Well, of course. But they'll just eat... I didn't realise they ate the bones. Of course.

I'll tell you what they didn't like, though. Plant-based sausages. I'm not surprised. They were strewn all over the path. But can't you just keep your food bin inside until bin morning? That's also been suggested. But just to illustrate that,

I do sometimes listen to you. I couldn't find a heavy rock because we don't have any rocks in our back garden. Or there's a lot of builder's rubble hidden in the soil it's one of those gardens i think that's quite common in london gardens that you can't really grow anything because yeah when they were doing the house they just shoved it in anyway um but i did find uh for the first time ever i found a use for a broken a chipped ornamental frog, which I inherited from the previous owners. Never liked it, but equally never got rid of it,

because what do you do with it? And I've now put it on top of the food bin. Now, if the foxes can get that off... Well, how heavy is it? It's pretty heavy. I mean, I could just about carry it outside. OK. Yeah.

I think Mr Fox might get little foxes to help him. And honestly, if you've got a CCTV camera, I might stay up all night. you can train on that. I'd very much like to see it. So the first time that I saw one of our foxes flipping open the lid, I was mesmerised by it

because he put his little front paw, left front paw, on top of the lid and then with his snout, he reached over and started pulling the handle all the way up and he kind of jiggled it just to the right place where he could then take his left paw off, use his right paw, flip it open. I mean, it was just a work of genius.

It really was. And I thought, well, I mean, I'm not very fond of the foxes i think they're vermin but i did think okay right yep you got one over on me there mate looks like they've learned a thing or two very much so yeah well if you can bring us any if you are like a bit like what time of night did you witness that by the way well it would have been it would have been during an early morning wake up so it's probably about four it's probably around dawn time okay but for our listeners who are nocturnal and there are many if you do witness any of this sort of activity you maybe could send us a short clip but let's never ever go back to dead foxes because that was dead foxes it was a it was a kind of

theme of the podcast quite a long time and it just got really disturbing. Yeah, we don't want any, no dead foxes. Just lively, frisky foxes. That'll be lovely, especially in the heat. Now, can I just tell you about one of the most heart-wrenching posters I've ever seen in my life, Jane? We were away at the weekend. We went to quite rural Suffolk and there was a village hall. And can I just commend Suffolk for its community

sense because every village that you pass through still has its parish hall and I always love reading all of the notices so we stopped to read lots of notices and lots of different villages. Were there lots of activities available? So many activities Jane, so so many but there was a poster and I won't name the village because I don't want to identify the child who wrote it but there was a poster and i won't name the village because i don't want to identify the child who wrote it but it was a handwritten note that had been put in the glass box of the village hall which just said adult needed to run beavers and then there was an explanation of how beavers had run out of adults to run it so if nobody was going to come along then the beavers group would cease to exist

and there was a really beautiful little picture this was all just done in pencil there was a really beautiful picture of a beaver which just said underneath this is a beaver and then there was just a list of the activities that they'd need to be overseen in order to do what kind of an adult are they looking for well obviously they're looking for a responsible, friendly, amenable and the irresponsible and unfriendly would probably be better than nothing actually and a local adult because otherwise that beavers group is going to shut and I did seriously think I mean I know it's about a two-hour drive but I could do it on a Wednesday evening I could do it. You'd be exhausted on Thursday. But it was so sweet and heart-wrenching. And I really, really, really hope

that some kind and generous person has responded. But it also made me think, Jane, you know, you and I, we've talked a lot about caring on the podcast. And, you know, it is such a hard ask of a life. But also props to people who just do that kind of caring all the way through their lives so all of the adults who tipped out to run our brownies groups and all of that kind of stuff i have to confess i don't really know very many people uh my own age who

are still doing stuff like that do you i have a very good friend who works in a food bank quite frequently. That's a bit different. Yeah, so I know lots of people who do the charity volunteering. But running the youth club and... Well, I think, I mean, I often think back to the woman who took our guide company on, you know, we went as far as the Isle of Man. I mean, if you can imagine taking 17 or 18

quite recalcitrant Scouse girls on a camping trip to the Isle of Man, being in sole charge. Maybe I think there was another adult. Why would you do that? She had to take time off work to do that. Yeah. Incredible. So there are these people doing that kind of invisible and I would imagine hopefully rewarding, but you're probably not thanked enough actually for doing that. No, although I retrospectively thanked that woman quite a lot

because she was making a lot of sacrifices. She didn't have the easiest set of circumstances herself. I didn't know that much. So you're absolutely right. We should draw more attention to those people. And I really hope that that village finds its beaver leader in the shortest possible amount of time. I absolutely do too.

So if that's you and you're doing that kind of stuff and you'd just like a shout-out actually, you'd like a round of applause from the Off-Air community, we'd be delighted to hear from you. I think also I would just realise, I mean I'm not going to apply for the post of beaver leader in rural Suffolk. But I would recognise that it's not my skill set either. I would imagine, because I really want to do that, but I would imagine I probably would end up just mucking around with the kids and not being a particularly

good leadership example. So, you know, you've got to count yourself out of some things. I think you probably have. Well, that was strangely life-affirming and rather pleasant. So let's bring in somebody who's angry, and that's Minnie and Penge, who we can often rely upon to be almost as grumpy as I am. Minnie says, Jane's question about what grinds your gears, I'll tell you what's annoying me. How does everybody else feel about the Olympic athletes who bite their winning medals for a photo opportunity?

I find it irrationally irritating, says Minnie. Sort of wither, but then they are only doing the photographer's bidding, aren't they? The photographers are all shouting, bite it. Who first bit a medal? I don't know. How did it catch on? It can't have been what they anticipated. I mean, back in ancient Greece, did everybody have a good old gnaw on the medal they'd won?

They didn't even have any clothes on, did they, at the original Olympics? Were they running knackered? Yes. Oh, yeah, well, because they used to... No women were, obviously, no women were allowed to participate. And they were absolutely... Yes, it was only males and totally naked. And in that heat. Gosh.

But maybe they were very sensible and had the Greek original Olympics in the cooler part of the year. They wouldn't have had Factor 50, would they? Well, that's what I mean. Let's have a retrospective shout out to them and wonder how they coped. I tell you what, I wouldn't want to be behind the starting line for the 100 metres at the original Olympics. Have they finally abandoned Greco-Roman wrestling? Or is that still in the Olympics?

I think that's still in the Olympics. Is it? OK. As well as some just, you know, extraordinary stuff. And I do wish, actually, that I was at home for these two weeks because I would just be glued to the strange antics. You know those funny things? I mean, they're not funny if you win a gold medal, I understand that,

but even the hammer throwing and stuff like that, you just think that's so bizarre. What six-year-old grows up and says, like, really? Mummy, I want you to throw a hammer. Well, you're obviously sort of pre-selected. I suspect they, I think they do, don't they? They take a very sort of long, cold look

at somebody's athletic potential. And Britain has now got pretty ruthless at this, which is why we've got so much better at winning medals. And they just funnel people into the sport appropriate to them. So when you were younger, let's say you're not fee, no. Let's say when you were eight or nine years old, what do you think your potential, which funnel would that have put you in

well i did do ballet because obviously well both you and i had we either of us been any good at dance would have been the ideal i imagine the ideal proportions for a ballerina well back in the day i mean obviously less so now they don't do olympic ballet though do they so no that might have been what i was what I was fit for. No, I mean, I think the pole vault used to be men only, but now women do the pole vault. In fact, I think Britain's got rather a good female pole vaulter. I'm excited for the athletics.

I mean, I like the rest of it, but the athletics is when it really gets going for me. OK. So I'm very excited about that. And I wanted to mention Kellogg's and cereal. This is from Louise, because you've been mining quite a rich seam with your unwanted bags and boxes of cereal bought on a whim or for guests 17 years ago.

I'm scared now to take mine down, because I think there's some kind of lucky charm. I Can't believe says history nerd from hampshire that you mentioned the origins of kellogg's i just can't believe i'm emailing the times with this you'll understand when i explain that john harvey kellogg originally created cornflakes as a way of preventing masturbation he was very concerned about the activity believing it was bad for your health. It wasn't that he thought people would be distracted by a tasty breakfast, arguably something like Cocoa Pops would be better for that,

but rather that cornflakes were bland, and he theorised that a diet free of stimulants was both good for your digestion and for preventing private personal activities. Who knows whether you'll be able to read this, but I thought you might find it interesting. Don't blacklist me from emailing in again. So had you got masturbation and constipation muddled up?

It does explain a lot about me. So thank you, history nerd from Hampshire, for that. I don't know where that muddle has taken you. But wasn't there quite a major feature film? Eve's Poluxed. We'll teach you, Devin. She needs a cold shower now. Just to explain that, if people are coming new to this topic,

you did think that The Corn Flake was about what had been invented to keep you regular. Regular, yeah, I did. And because there was quite a major feature film about the Kellogg man not that long ago and I haven't seen it but I thought I knew about it.

Well, I don't think you should watch it now. It just shows you, doesn't it? I think it's got a lot of parental guidance on it. Oh, whoever this minion is, just stop phoning. They've phoned twice, excuse me. Okay. Hello? Oh, okay. Could you just leave it outside, please? Lovely, thank you. Bye. Leave it outside. Bye. Whatever it is, leave it outside. What is it? Come on, let us into your life. It's three 100 litre bags of bark chippings. We need to know more about the bark chippings. Where are they going?

Oh gosh, so they're going all across the flower beds to neaten them up and also to try and persuade pooping Barbara from pooping just right next to the place where we like to sit out of an evening. Well, she can't possibly be doing it deliberately, can she? pooping just right next to the place where we like to sit out of an evening. She can't possibly be doing it deliberately, can she? The little shit. Literally the little shit.

So that's my fun time later on this evening. Anyway, sorry, you finished with the Kelloggs? I've completely finished with Kelloggs and I'm never eating their products again. Right, we'll check in with that. Natalie says, I emailed in a few months ago letting you know about my choir's trip to New Zealand and the fundraising we were doing to be able to represent Great Britain at the World Choir Games alongside my connection with Fi as I go to St Swithin's.

I'm pleased to update you and let you know that we were able to go and have the most amazing experience and won two gold medals. Yay! Congratulations, that's great. It is great. And thank you for keeping us updated. That is the Farnham Youth Choir winning gold.

So we're looking for a leader for some beavers and we offer congratulations to the Farnham Choir there. No, to go abroad and win a medal, I think it's fabulous. We did mention yesterday on the Times Radio programme, 2 till 4, Monday to Thursday, about broad churches and we wonder whether anyone listening might possibly

be in a position to measure the width of a church. And what is so wonderful about radio really, and although I love podcasts, I'll never not love live radio. And it's a shame that we're now reading out these emails on a podcast rather than live radio. But anyway, we might include them in the radio show as well.

I think we should. Because the Reverend Elizabeth Spence has emailed to say, I haven't got time to measure my church, but it is pretty broad. Certainly broad enough for all the Tory MPs and a good few hundred of their members. They'd be made very welcome, particularly if they put a tenner in the offering plate. That's from the Reverend Elizabeth Spence.

And Susie emailed to say, I was cleaning out the church while I was listening to you. Our St Lambert church in Burnstone is 16 metres wide, but the one in Beedale is even wider. North Yorkshire has a very wide church or minster in York, which reflects the population. I suppose, yes, York Minster is very wide church or minster in York which reflects the population. I suppose, yes, York Minster is very wide. 16 metres, that would be...

That's huge. That is huge. Susie, thank you for that. So, you see, you just never know who's listening or what they're up to. No, we've got a very high quality of listenership, I do believe. Marie loved the nocturnal oral hygiene story and also wanted to share her repeat offender joke. When putting a clean white duvet cover on the duvet,

my lovely husband Will knows this always cracks me up. He puts his hands in the corners and holds them above his head so he's looking a bit like a ghostbuster. And he says, oh, I'm a ghostie. You really need to be there to get the full comedy effect, says Marie, with a very clever little ghost emoji. We've been together 43 years. What, and she's still laughing?

Yep, it still has me in stitches. I think because it's so bloody silly, and let's face it, who doesn't need a bit of a laugh? Keep it light. Love the show. Yes. Thank you, Marie. Shout out to Kelly, who describes herself as a long-time listener.

Hope your air con is working, if anything. It's a bit breezy in the office today, isn't it? Well, Eve was complaining about it earlier. I know, look, she's clutching at her goose-bumped arms. I totally agree about the 7am temperature at the moment. I said it was perfection, and it really is. Kelly is enjoying it because she takes her dog on a beach walk at that time, which I imagine is just idyllic.

Last September, I took a big deep breath and I opened a bookshop in Shoreham-by-Sea. It's taking off really well and the support I've had from the community has been incredible. We've got two book clubs and a waiting list and customers are ordering through us more and more in support of the high street. Lovely. Fabulous. Congratulations, Kelly. and more in support of the high street. Lovely. Fabulous.

Congratulations, Kelly. I really do admire people who take a leap like that and open particularly a bookshop, because there's just something, I just think it adds so much to a community when you've got a bookshop, and two book clubs as well. One of the Suffolk villages had a post office and a bookshop, and that was it.

And in the bookshop it said, a Kindle will dwindle, but books will never die. Oh yeah, 100%. I am it said a kindle will dwindle but books will never die oh yeah i a hundred percent i am never trusting a kindle today i couldn't take a kindle on holiday i've never i've just never got used to it cat in hell no no i don't want to do it i don't want to do it and also i just might break down i felt i'd lose lots of books within it and i i won't be able to see how far i've got through them i wouldn't be able to see because quite often at night do you do that when you just go okay i've got i'll read a centimeter of the book a centimeter yes i've not gone metric there have you not maybe just a third of an inch

yeah maybe more more like that i did try to read last night i'm reading a book at the moment i wonder if anyone else has read it have you heard of of Sandwich by Catherine Newman? No. I think it's out now. It's an American novel about basically about the menopause and about a woman who's just had an absolute belly full of everything. And it's set, I think it's set in Long Island. No, not an American seaside, upmarket seaside place. And it's been a big hit in America. I just wonder if anyone else has read it and what they think of it i am enjoying it i just seem to have been taking a very long time to complete it okay well it's hot isn't it yeah well it's just as eve's indicates at the end of the day i'm simply spent yeah yeah uh just to update you we've got our book club podcast dropping

on friday uh jane and i will record that thursday so you've got 24 hours to get your thoughts in about suzy steiner's book missing presumed and then we'll discuss it and suzy's husband has come in to talk about her work because as many of you have already discovered suzy very sadly died far too young. But Tom, her husband, agreed to do the interview and it was really lovely to chat to him, actually. So I hope that you all enjoy that. I had to write on my hand, spray,

because I forgot to bring in the funny perfume found in the pharmacy that sells the three products. But later's babes is the sign-off from Carla. I love that. Smitty and Charlie were daytime perfumes. Of course. Whereas Sophisticat, a little bottle of morning wee-coloured scent being hugged by a pearl-adorned black velvet cat, photo-attached,

was definitely for evening wear and to be sprayed liberally on top of a layer of body glitter, an elmet firm hold they were heady times carla they were indeed i think those are from the same times as and french cleansing milk and do you remember when the first um flavored lip glosses came in oh we went mad for those so mad yeah yeah It's like we had glue dripping off our lips, wasn't it? It was so syrupy. It was something

that boys couldn't get enough of according to Jackie magazine. Well, they weren't wrong. They were not wrong. And girls. Oh, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Everybody join in.

Now, we did briefly refer, perhaps not so briefly actually, to the opening ceremony of the Games yesterday. Claire says, I've just finished watching Celine Dion's new documentary on Prime about her illness, stiff person syndrome, and how it's affected her life. It's quite an extraordinary watch about her dealing with this horrendous condition. The scene at the very end of the film made me cry and wince. It makes you realise how thoroughly human we all are, even mega celebrities with all the privileges of personal medical care and staff. I thoroughly recommend you watch it. It made her performance at the opening ceremony all the more remarkable. Claire, I didn't know that existed, so thank you very much for that tip.

I might well have a look at that. And, yeah, I mean, she is absolutely phenomenal, Celine Dion. Like I say, I think I said yesterday, I'm not a mega fan of hers or anything, but, wow. She has got through a lot. Well, she blew me away on Friday night. I really found that moving because it was sort of an example of a triumph over adversity and I'm still standing and all the rest of it,

but just done with such, is it bravura? Bravura, yeah. And a real dignity about it. I thought it was fabulous. I'll tell you what's worth watching as well, two other documentaries, because there's just such a thing at the moment, isn't there, of telling your personal story uh hopefully honestly and there's a lot available certainly on the

netflix but on the bbc at the moment there's a documentary about linford christie told in his own words which is uh if you're our age i recommend it to you because his story now he's able to retell it uh i was a bit heartbroken for him by the end of it actually um you know there is a dignified man who was at times treated in a very undignified way is he a coach now does he still so he is a coach um but he's you know he had the doping um allegations allegations chucked at him. I mean, proven in a test, but you need to watch the documentary because the one thing that stayed with me was his argument that why would he have started taking drugs in retirement?

You know, which is when the doping test was taken and the results of which he's had to live with for the rest of his life. But that's a very, very good documentary. And the Simone Biles one is incredible, absolutely incredible. And maybe it's a conversation for another podcast, but the triumph over adversity in sport.

We're learning more and more about the dark places that sports people go to in order to come back for us to clap them up onto a podium and i'd love your thoughts on that the address in case you don't know and by the way i've had six attempts at saying the address this is not live and it's not the original take it's jane and fee at times dot radio uh that's where we want to hear from you thank you very much now how about this if you're looking for a proper night out, something truly mind-expanding,

you could do a lot worse than this. Professor Brian Cox is a professor of particle physics, as you might know, at the University of Manchester. And the other thing you'll almost certainly know about him is that he used to play the keyboards in Dream, who topped the UK charts, as nobody ever says, really, in in real life in 1994. Brian Cox has teamed up with the conductor Daniel Harding to unite his love of music and his love of science

putting together a show called Symphonic Horizons. It's at the Royal Opera House. It starts tonight. Now the aim of the performance is to take the audience on a kind of cosmic ride exploring the secrets and possibilities of the universe. So I talked to Brian about the show and just asked, how is this going to work? Well, the idea came from, I suppose it's an obvious observation in a sense. But if you think about cosmology and astronomy in particular, which is what the show is about, it's terrifying. which is what the show is about. It's terrifying. I could give you if I just say that there are 400 billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy and the Milky Way galaxy itself is one of two trillion galaxies in the observable universe.

And the observable universe is a very small patch of what we think is out there. It may be infinite in extent. So those are the things we've discovered about our place in the universe. And it's clearly it's impossible to internalize. What does 400 billion suns mean or trillions of planets in our galaxy? And so what you realize if you think about it for a while is, of course, science is not going to deliver any answers in terms of what does it all mean? What are we to make of our place in the universe as human beings? But some of the great artists of the past, and we're talking about classical music here in this collaboration.

So Mahler, for example, we have a beautiful piece, Mahler's Fifth Symphony, the Adagietto, which a lot of people know, a beautiful piece of music. Mahler thought for a very long time indeed about what it means to live a fragile and finite life. And he gave, to my mind, an eloquent answer in his music. And he was once asked, by the way, what does your music mean? And he said, if I could say that in words, I wouldn't have written the music.

So music is one of the languages that we use to try and understand and interpret and think about our place in the universe. that we use to try and understand and interpret and think about our place in the universe. Right. And so the idea came to put them together. So to put these, the most spectacular images of the cosmos, the size and scale of the cosmos, against this music and see what happens. Okay. So let's say I'm in the audience.

I will have some words from you and then the orchestra will strike up? Yeah. So it was written, it was performed once before actually at the Sydney Opera House with the Sydney Symphony Orchestra just before Christmas last year. And so it was written as almost a debate, a dialogue between the science and the music. So yeah, so I'll talk, for example, about why we guess, it's a reasonable guess,

that there are very few intelligent civilizations in a galaxy. So I lay out the idea. And then we have an answer from one of the, or at least a feeling of an answer from one of these great composers. And so we've got Mahler. Who else is featured? We have Sibelius at the start, Sibelius' Fifth Symphony and actually Daniel Harding who's the conductor, he's a very famous conductor who

I'm collaborating with at Royal Opera House. I asked him once because we've been friends for a while, what should Stanley Kubrick have used in 2001 as a kind of a joke? But he immediately said Sibelius, Fifth Symphony, Third Movement. And it's this magnificent piece of music written in 1915, the middle of the First World War in Europe. And yet it's this beautiful celebration of nature. So that's in there. And then the whole second act is, talking of Stanley Kubrick,

is Richard Strauss's Zarathustra, of which everyone knows the first minute, which is Sunrise, the dramatic theme at the start of 2001. But there's another 20-odd minutes of that music, which is based on Nietzsche's book from back in the 19th century, exploring all these ideas. So the second act is essentially a narrative wander through Strauss's Zarathustra. And are contemporary composers still inspired by this stuff? Yeah, and actually you mentioned that. So one of the highlights of the London performance is that Hans Zimmer,

one of the great contemporary composers, many people were known for his film work, Interstellar and other things. So he's written a piece for this, which we're premiering at the concert, which is a piece about eternity and what eternity meant to him. Oh, crikey. My mind has just been quite boggled now by all this, which I guess is the intention.

I mean, I don't know what you think, but I, so I travelled to work today on the Tube, every single person locked in their own little universe, gawping at their phone. Do you think we've lost a sense of wonder a little bit in the 21st century? Yeah, to an extent. I mean, if you talk about London, so those of us that live in cities, we don't really see the night sky at all. Certainly in our everyday lives in the city, you might see the moon, but maybe the odd bright star. But I think it's so easy to think that we are completely separate from the universe, the infinite universe beyond. When actually, of course, to really truly understand what it means to be human and try to make any sense of our place at all in our short fragile lives i think the argument of this

concept is we need to know something about the the power of nature rich strouse actually the premiere of the music that we're going to hear the zarathustra as i said based on nietzsche's work said said what is this music about it's how can we justify our existence when faced with the unlimited power of nature? Now, most of us, I think, you're right, in our everyday lives, we don't think about the unlimited power of nature or how remarkable it is that we exist. And so I think that part of the aim of the concert is just to maybe encourage us to look up a little bit, look outwards a little bit. But what impact do you think it will have on the average,

if there is such a thing, concert goer? Will they change their way of life or the way they think? Will the following day just be a little bit different for them? Is that your intention? I hope a little bit different for them is that your intention i hope a little bit and of course that was the intention of these great composers as well um so just i think i mean i think yeah if people go away with this beautiful some of the greatest symphonic music ever written ringing in their their ears. And some of just these ideas, they're not science fiction. Everything I talk about is, as far as we can tell,

they're observations of the universe, the size and scale and power. We talk a lot about black holes as well, and our idea that time ends inside them, which is based on Einstein's theory published back in 1915. So all these strange things we've discovered. But I wouldn't aim or dare or presume to tell people what to think. I mean, in a sense, I don't know. Because the idea of this concert is to mix all these different lights, if you like, all these different angles on this question of what it means to be human together

in a concert environment, this beautiful concert hall, the Royal Opera House. And it's a 90-piece symphony orchestra, by the way. So I hope that the emotional experience is something that, I mean, I'm not prepared for it, right? I don't really know what it will feel like. And so therefore, no one else, I don't know what to say. it, right? I don't really know what it will feel like, and so therefore no one else.

I don't know what to say. You would hope, though, wouldn't you, that people will be moved to tears, not of despair, exactly, but just at the, well, I'm not quite sure whether I've got the words to describe how it might impact on people. You say yourself you don't know how you're going to feel. No, I mean, you know, those of us that have been, you know, I came to this kind of music actually quite late in life. And I think those of us that have been exposed, fortunate enough to hear a

symphony orchestra in full flow, know that the experience is like no other. And if you mix that with looking at these, we have huge LED screens. It's as much as we can fit into the Royal Opera House. These images, again, you look at these images of the deep universe, some of the images from the James Webb Space Telescope with thousands and thousands of galaxies in a single photograph. And again, when you're faced with that on that scale, I think many of us don't feel something powerful.

And I suppose part of this show, this concert, is to try and explore what that thing is that we're feeling. Is it awe? Is it terror? Are we overwhelmed by beauty or are we frightened about it? All those things, I think, are mixed together. And yet, based on everything you've said, isn't it just incredible that there are still people who walk this earth with such a sense of entitlement, truly believing that they are of significance?

It's cobblers, isn't it, Brian? Well, I mean, there are two ideas in this show that kind of appear contradictory at first sight, and those are always the most interesting ideas. And one is, as you say, that we are physically insignificant. I mean, there's no doubt about it. Even in our single galaxy, our little island of stars, as I said, 400 billion suns takes light 100,000 years to cross our little island. So, yes, we're physically insignificant, but I do make the argument through the piece

that complex life, civilizations, things like us, think about what we are, you and me, everybody that's listening now. We're just a collection of atoms, the same building blocks that make up the rocks and the mountains and the planets that we see in the sky, just those things. And yet in this pattern, this temporary pattern of atoms emerges everything we feel, right?

It's the experience of being human, which is surely a valuable thing. And you can make an argument that the number of civilizations in an average galaxy like the Milky Way might be one on average. So you can make the argument that we're it as far as this galaxy is concerned. And so that turns this sense of insignificance on its head. And suddenly, then we may be responsible. I say at the end of the concert, if we mess this up through deliberate action or inaction, then we may be responsible for destroying meaning in a galaxy of 400 billion suns, potentially forever. So that responsibility

also may rest upon our shoulders. And so there's a complex mix of emotions and thoughts, I think. What is the last piece of music played? of emotions and thoughts, I think. What is the last piece of music played? It's the end of Strauss's Zarathustra, and it's so beautiful because, as I said, everyone will know Sunrise, the big theme from 2001. But at the end, what Strauss did, following Nietzsche, is he, there's basically an argument, not an argument,

a debate between nature and humanity. And you end up with this fading away of two musical themes. For the musically minded who are listening, nature's key is C major and humanity's key is a semitone down, B minor and B major. So it clashes. And so there's this sort of fade away and it's unresolved. So Strauss, all those years ago had the confidence

as an artist to put all these ideas and thoughts and feelings together and then ultimately leave it to the audience in an unresolved sort of fade and so that's what happens at the end so it's over to you as you go out as you you said, into the London night. No answers have been given, but hopefully some intellectual ammunition and emotional ammunition has been delivered. Intellectual and emotional ammunition provided there by Professor Brian Cox and Symphonic Horizons runs at the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden in London all this week. Well, it sounds amazing. Will you go?

Well, are you available? Let's go. Are you asking me out? She's asking me out. I was going to go home and make spaghetti bolognese, but I think I'll go with you to the Royal Opera House tonight. A few scoops. It'll be a very nice night out.

Okay. Well, that conversation certainly made me, it made me think, and there is something about, I mean, it sounds laughable for you, but it's just about space and infinity and why we're here, where are we, can we really be the only people

clinging to a lump of rock in an infinite universe? Surely not. No? No. No. No. No. I don't think that we are, but I don't think we're ever going to meet them.

No. And in a way, I think that's good. Because they'll have three eyes, won't they? Four thumbs. Right. And they probably will have very well-disciplined food caddies. Can we just end with a thanks for the show email from Arthur regarding repetitive but still funny partner jokes.

Years ago, I lived in Lyon in France and every morning I'd walk my chic French girlfriend to the metro for her to go to work and for me to get a baguette and return home to write my book. And that is in inverted commas. Every time I'd watch her go down the stairs as she'd look up to blow a kiss and i'd lean over the street side metro balcony and pretend to spit on her i knew she pretended to hate it as she was all about outward appearances but secretly

she laughed this lasted for a full 18 months and i miss doing it even now 15 years later well arthur thank you for that uh did you ever get the book published? What happened? Are they still together? Yeah. Well, I don't know, because he says he misses doing it 15 years later. Maybe they just don't have a balcony anymore.

That's possible. Maybe they're on a ground floor. It is. The possibilities are endless, aren't they? I love the idea of waving her off and getting her baggage. Incredibly sophisticated. He should be eating cereal if you've got a whole day to yourself. It's very, very true.

Right. Okay. Many thanks indeed for listening, if you have. And if you haven't, well, that's just appalling. Congratulations. You've staggered somehow to the end of another Off Air with Jane and Fi. Thank you. If you'd like to hear us do this live, and we do do it live every day, Monday to Thursday, two till four on times radio

the jeopardy is off the scale and if you listen to this you'll understand exactly why that's the case so you can get the radio online on dab or on the free times radio app offer is produced by eve salisbury and the executive producer is Rosie Cutler.