Off Air... with Jane and Fi - The laughter and steaminess was unending

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

Jane and Fi are reunited! They join you in their bikinis for discussions about chickenpox, religion, Wells Cathedral, and men who ask too many questions. If you fancy sending us a postcard, the address is:Jane and FiTimes Radio, News UK1 London Bridge StreetLondonSE1 9GFSend your suggestions for the next book club pick!If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] us on Instagram! @janeandfiPodcast Producer: Eve SalusburyExecutive Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When I made a passing comment whilst drunk about the flavour of Princess Beatrice's wedding cake. Yeah, and it was, you know, an ill-judged, but not offensive remark. Well, it wasn't! for a memorable holiday. You can go from sun soaked tranquil beaches to cycling along the desert dunes. Whether you're looking for a relaxing holiday or an active one, you can find your perfect holiday. With high fashion emporiums, incredible dining experiences and traditional suits and markets, what's not to love about Dubai? Enjoy traditional architecture, modern art or relax at the spa. Discover your dream holiday at visitdubai.com. Dubai, what's not to love? Local, national, global, there's always an election and politicians are

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Book your campaign today by visiting go.acast.com slash ads. Now we're back together. Pick the wrong week off as usual. I'm sorry about that everybody, because I am back. Jane's back. And I'm slightly resentful that I'm not off. Because the sun's cracking the flags. This is the week that if you have taken a little bit of a staycation, you are going to be rewarded with temperatures up to 27 degrees in the south of England, but it is sunny all across the UK and about

blooming time too. It was a really, really, really long grey winter. Felt like it didn't it? Yeah, so this is just gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. We're making the most. We're sitting here in our bikinis. I hope you appreciate the gesture. It's something we'll be able to bring you in technicolour when we start visualising this product. Imagine if we did that. The internet would break. It would just break, Jane.

It would certainly stagger into oblivion. When was the last time that you wore a bikini on a beach? No, now on a beach. I don't think I've ever worn one on a beach. I've worn one in the privacy of a hotel environment and certainly at a gorgeous home in the countryside. Yeah. Okay. Why wouldn't you wear one on a beach though? Well, I don't think...

There'd be other people around in a hotel or at one of your friend's country mansions, which is what you're alluding to. But enough of my very many friends in the aristocracy. Fia's always been a little jealous of this. It's because I'm connected to Irish royalty and yeah, those links persist as they do of course in what we call old families. It's just because for years I've had this barrage of abuse as if I actually grew up on a country estate and just my childhood was entirely dominated by attending gymkhana's and functions which is not the case. I don't think I've ever accused you of being, you were never in

the pony club were you? No I was never in the pony club. Neither of us came from a horse. I'm terrified of horses. Absolutely terrified of horses. We're not horsey people. We're not horsey people. But you were very much a llama person these days. Oh, alpaca.

Oh, alpaca, sorry. There's a difference. Sorry, yeah. I'm, as ever, way behind in the arches and I think there's just been either the death of a llama or an alpaca in the arches where I am. But it's weeks and weeks ago. It was very sad anyway. Both alpaca in the arches where I am but it's weeks and weeks ago. It was very sad anyway. They are both alpacas and llamas are beautiful creatures. Anyway,

back to the bikini. Do you know it's a really good point. I think I must have worn one as a child and I always think it's slightly odd when children wear bikini. You know when really young children wear bikinis that's just strange because they don't need you know they don't quote need to. It's all a bit odd. Yeah but I'm not sure that anybody ever needs to wear a bikini, actually. It is a very strange thing, I think, full stop. I mean, I think a duffle coat is always a better idea, to be perfectly honest. But in most weeks of the year in Britain, you need a duffle coat on our nation's beaches, but probably not this week.

Never thought I would wear a bikini again until the time I did, I think way into my 50s. Yeah, I can't really explain that. I don't think I ever went on beachy holidays where a bikini would be a thing. No, but it's funny looking back on it, isn't it, because we all used to get quite kind of obsessed with having as much of our skin tanned as possible. And that just seems really bonkers now on every single type of level and the support offered by One Piece is very well received. There was a bloke at the Lido this morning and there's a most lovely sound at the Lido when everybody in the morning people aren't really there to chat there aren't

lots of people sunbathing everyone really is there to swim so it's this really lovely rhythmic and quite meditative slap of the water as people you know just do their strokes and whatever it's really lovely. People with rhythm. Yes and there was this one bloke who got out and he was doing his stretches and there's just there's something kind of performative that can go on with some of the stretching afterwards and it's always people who've been in the fast lane and he had his gold budgie smugglers on And he put his phone next to him. Oh my god. I thought you were going to say put his phone down his budgie smugglers for the stretching. Okay, right. No, I mean

I think there may have been some padding but let's not dwell on that But he had to put a bit of music on while he was doing his stretching and I was deeply, deeply resentful of it, Jane. But what was it? Was it the Seekers, New Seekers, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing? No, it was one of those, you know, I've been chilling in Northabetha type vibes. And you just, we talk about sounds a lot, don't we, on the the podcast but increasingly it's just a nuisance You don't need to have that music on while you do your stretches It's entirely designed to kind of push out everybody else around you You're in a public place mate if you want to go and do that then just find a quiet corner of the fields

No, you know where nobody can see you, but you don't want nobody to see you, do you? You want everybody to be looking and listening. If he's wearing gold bodgy smugglers, they were very gold. Yeah, well, and very bodgy and very smugly. There's an indication that attention is exactly what he requires. Yep. I threw him the look of looks. Did you? Yep, the absolute look of looks. But did he recognise that look?

No, because I'm invisible. Oh, I see. absolutely. But did he recognise that look? No, because I'm invisible. As a one-piece wearing middle-aged swimmer getting out of the slow lane, I'm completely invisible to him. But I felt better for having dispensed one of my finest resting bitch face looks, which usually curdles milk and makes small children cry. I was completely lost on the Macowl smuggler. Point off him. That is really annoying because those looks are quality. Yes, and they take a little bit of time. They take something from you. I was spent. It was only 8.30 and I was spent, Jane. I'm exhausted. Well, I won't expect much of you this afternoon then. You have a rest.

It's actually lovely to be back at work. I like going back in the rhythm of a working day. Because sometimes when you've got a week off you think, oh, you feel a bit restless, but I've cleared out the cellar. I finally got that will sorted out, did a couple of lunches. So I'm relatively restored, but I also got... But you were ill. I was also a bit ill. I've got a cold, which is what happens when you take time off. It's very annoying. I'm better now. OK. Did you take your bed? Was it that bad? No, I never take to my chambers unless I'm absolutely beside myself. And I just feel that to take to bed is, no, it's an indication of putting up the white flag.

I'm not prepared to do it. No. I go about my business. I go about my business, V. Oh, it's spreading your germs? Exactly. Making sure that other people feel as shit as I did. It's not a chicken pox party. Chicken pox party, those are the days. Right, nothing

funny at all about chicken pox can be very miserable, particularly in later life. Yes, very much so in later life. I had it in my twenties, it was absolutely terrible. What they don't tell you is you get blebs everywhere. Right. Why did you get it then? And why hadn't you had it before? Well, I think my mum thought that I had had it before because I think she's a very diligent parent. She would have taken me to the chickenpox parties, probably the only parties I was invited to. Oh no, this is making me feel very sorry for little feet. But I haven't had it. So I had it really, really badly in my 20s. It was vicious and it lasted a very long time. And it was deeply unpleasant.

So really, really, really, let your kids have it. I wonder whether that's something that's changed a bit in the modern parenting manual, whether people are still... Because people, I think, are just a little bit more germaphobic around their kids than we were when we were kids. Oh, back in the day when we were giving elaborate funerals to dead birds. Yeah, but also there was quite an encouragement of let's push them out there and get them to meet the world and all of its stuff.

Mud pies. Yeah, so I wonder whether that's changed. People can tell us about it. Let us know. Anyway, look, it's very nice that you are back. Here comes a good male listener and questioner. That is the title of the email. Hello Jane, Jane and Fee.

Your discussions about Jane M's dates always leave me scratching my head about the lack of emotional intelligence of these men and not being able to relate. But then there probably are a couple of big reasons for that. Firstly, I haven't been on a date in over 20 years, and secondly, more importantly, I've been recently diagnosed as on the spectrum. This is something that now makes a lot of sense, but your point about going to dates or parties

where men just talk about themselves and never take an interest in you always sound like narcissistic behavior to me. Best wishes, IB. So I wonder whether you connect those two things, I mean clearly you do now with the benefit of hindsight, but was there something that was preventing you for going out on a date? Did you just feel that you were very very different to the rest of the world or was that just something that kind of you

felt happened to you and now does that mean that you feel more positive about heading out? We'd like to know. And then our correspondent says, I wonder if that old book, Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars, would be equally as mystifying. I wonder whether anyone reads that now. Gosh, that's a good point. That book was phenomenally successful, wasn't it? Yeah. But I can't remember whether it in any way excused men for their oddity or put any blame onto women in speech marks for whatever their attitudes were. I don't remember it. I don't remember. I don't think I did read it, but

I know it had an incredible influence on people. Yes, it really did. It was American, wasn't it? It was, but I suppose, did it come at that time where maybe people had made the assumption that we were all heading towards a more equal world where we could mix up all of our you know determinism and you know we could equally embrace male attributes as men could equally embrace ours and then along came this book that said hang-uh hang on a sec that's simply never going to happen and it was saying you know it was telling us the truth wasn't

it that's why it was so successful but I don't remember coming out of it I do remember reading it I don't remember coming out of it thinking I've been made to feel reading it as a woman that it's kind of on me I think it was quite balanced but I might be wrong because my head was in a different place in the 90s. We all know what you were doing in the 90s. I was optimistic in the 90s. You were optimistic? Oh dear, oh dear, this is the girl who never went to any parties except the one. Oh stop it. But what I'm interested in with that correspondent is now he has understood, has he changed and

let's just put it out there, has any woman ever encountered a man who frankly asked too many questions? Because I think in a way I've got to feel a bit of sympathy for men who don't know, they don't want to come across as too inquisitive, too nosy. So what are the right number of questions to ask somebody you don't know in a conversation in a social setting? Well, I feel an off-air dating special coming on. Well, okay, tell us. What do you think? Tell me about yourself. There aren't very many dating shows around at the moment, so I think that would work. Jane, I think that would work.

The postcards are coming. Yes, they keep coming. We're not going to call a halt, are we? No, we love them. And we do love them very much. Margaret says, I moved to the wonderful little city of Wells in Somerset four years ago, and every time I visit the cathedral I've got a little smile when I see the carving of the guy with toothache. He is high up at the top of one of the... No, I'm going to get this wrong,

tunernal, oh no sorry, the internal pillars in the cathedral and I marvel at the fact that the medieval stone carver had a great sense of humour. I thought you would like it too. Margaret, thank you so much. Wells is a beautiful place in Somerset isn't it and there is this incredible carving of the poor old soul with absolutely what clearly is clearly toothache that's giving him almighty medieval jip and he is right up there in Wells Cathedral which is a beautiful building. There's a wonderful simplicity about one of the arches at Wells Cathedral. I've only been there a couple of times but it's absolutely amazing Wells Cathedral. It's very old but has a curiously modern feel. Hang on, I thought my description very old was good. It was love.

Yes. And by the way, I finished that book about the hard times at the convent in Norfolk in 990 AD, which I think I was telling Jane Marl-Kerrins about the week that you were away. It's a book called Mere and I finished it and gosh, hard times. If you ever do feel the 21st century is presenting a few challenges, by God, we've got a lot to be grateful for. Honestly, 990 was no time to be alive. Right, presumably in 990 you weren't alive for long. Well no you weren't and if you were depending on the infirmary at the convent, that's absolutely no hope because they just had a few sort of weeds they'd boil up to make a poultice and that was as much as you could hope

for. So God alone knows what it was like. Well I'll tell you what, I'll save that for my summer read. On the beach, Jane. Very much looking forward to that. But it's beautifully written, I don't want to be disparaging. I'm sure it is. I don't know about you but I'm definitely going to, I felt like I need to take a swerve away from the ecclesiastical moisturiser that the world is being given at the moment.

You say that but I had a lovely morning on Saturday. I had the old Pope's funeral on my iPad and I made some mints. I think it was quite a good combination in lots of ways. A wonderful, I mean you've got to admire the choreography of the whole shebang was absolutely incredible wasn't it? And it was a beautiful day in Rome as well. But the thing is, the trouble is, and I'm sure you discussed this last week, we've all seen the film. You sort of think, you do wonder. However, I will just say this, I know it will infuriate people whose scouse-glaxons will be going off, but I haven't entirely given up hope of a scouse-pope.

Well, you think the Cardinal from Liverpool might be on his way? He's not just from Liverpool, Fie, he's from Crosby. Is he from Crosby? So I really do think that... What's his name? Vincent Nicholls. Vincent Nicholls, okay. You think he's in with a shot?

Well he of course has been very careful, in fact he was on Times Radio saying, you know, don't, nobody, no, please don't vote for me. Well they all say that though, don't they? Of course they do. Yes. Of course they do. And I just think what with the Premier League, and I think if Liverpool then got a Pope, I think that would just might actually cause a sort of, you know, there might be something quite appalling. I might have to go to ground for a very long time.

If for no other reason. Where's the Bishop of Slough when I need him? He's got absolutely, might even be a lady bishop in Slough. Well we did talk about that a little bit last week. Well, I'm glad. Just the stratospherically... Absent. Yep. You know, all of the pictures of the cardinals do really bring it home.

And I do think that there wasn't quite enough questioning of that. And I know when a pope dies, of course it's immensely sad. I don't want to offend anybody who's got faith at all, not interested in doing that. And you know, I admire the warmth that faith gives to decent people. But it doesn't mean that you can't also make a comparison between where that church is at its very top and where its parishioners are at the very bottom. And that gap is just still so wide and it just is the women of the Orthodox Catholicism, particularly of the developing world who

are carrying such a massive massive burden and it just didn't seem to be there in very many interviews about what happens next and who's liberal and who's not and it's an important it's a really important question, Jane. It does seem to be, those of us who aren't religious, and neither of us are religious, but as you say, I've also got great respect for people whose lives are hugely enhanced by their faith, and their faith perhaps enables them to do the kind of good works they might not do without their faith. And also just get through the shit of this world, I completely get it.

Equally, of course, there are many people doing wonderful work who've got no faith at all, so we just need to make that clear as well. But I do agree, I think the absence of women higher up in the church and the fact that it's something they still feel the need to wrestle with, as though this God in whom they believe is a chap. Can we just, God is not a man, if God exists at all, It's not a bloke. Yeah, I mean I really struggle with it. I really do struggle with it. And also the idea that by asking questions about it you might be being insulting. I really don't think that's true anymore. I think we should be able to ask questions about the complete lack of representation.

Oh God, I keep saying oh God, I need to stop this. Maybe the calling is coming. Well, okay. If you are, if you have any inside knowledge, if you're going to the conclave. If you're in the conclave and listening to this, on a little transistor radio. I have a branch of a well-known bookshop, a bookshop, bookies, near my home, I can get there. No, don't start doing that. Don't start doing your insider trading. Liz says, hello, Joan and Fee, greetings from the smoky mountains of Tennessee. I'm originally from the Wirral, right?

Fabulous. Thanks also to... Where is the, such a lovely postcard. It's very beautiful. Yeah, look at that Yeah, but I've called Tennessee home for the past 30 years beautiful part of the world even in these turbulent and scary times Just home for Easter holidays and I've enjoyed Oxford the Cotswolds Chester, Edinburgh and the lakes love listening to your podcast in Tennessee Keeps me smiling and saying cheers my dear Liz Gregor so this is lovely to hear from you and it's an absolutely beautiful picture of great smoky mountains. I'm always so heartened

to see that so many people have writing as appalling as I'm gonna say ours to include you but actually I think your writing is alright isn't it? It's legible. So thank you very much to somebody Muller because you sent a nice picture of Sankt Gallen, Bliq Offdan Santis, views of the Santis Mountains. Mountains are our theme for the day. Yeah they absolutely are and thank you to this listener who is Suzanne who has just come back from an Easter break in Poland. She spent time with her mum who's getting over a bereavement and I'm sorry to hear that your mum's had such a tough time. I'm glad she's, if not completely out of the woods, she's making something of a recovery, that's good to know.

But she just says, what really prompted me to write was the BBC headline today, I've attached this screenshot, why is Virginia Dufray addressed here as an accuser and not as a victim? Why? And this is true, this is a BBC headline from a piece by a correspondent in LA. Virginia Dufray, Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein accuser, dies, said the headline. And of course Susanna correctly points out that she was a victim, not an accuser. And we both, I think, feel the same way about what is just... It's a desperately sad, but important story. And I'm afraid it has ended the way that I half thought it might, in terms of Virginia Jouffre.

And I'm just so sorry for her and for her loved ones, because this is... It's dismal in absolutely every respect. And she went through a terrible experience from which through no fault of her own she couldn't recover. Yeah no totally just awful and you know I think what had happened over the last couple of weeks of her life because she had been involved in this crash which had left her injured and she had posted that she was very seriously unwell and there was a bandwagon that was lept on that then really immediately tried to undermine her truth

and what she wanted to tell the world. People couldn't wait, could they? And people were basically saying she is exaggerating and that's the type of person she is, and so if she's exaggerating about this, what else might she be exaggerating about? What she chose to tell the world about her own story was remarkable and undoubtedly made people aware of something that was going on, actually in plain sight for some of the population, but not for most of us.

So I just couldn't feel more sadness for her. And she also said she was really missing her kids. I think, you know, what we really understand now about sexual abuse is that it ruins your past, it dominates your present, and there is no escape from it in your future. And that's a life sentence. And her children will read what we've all read about her her and that's something of a live sentence for her too. So yeah, we're both very sad.

Yeah, I'm really, really sad. And well, yeah, you were 100% right. There is just no, you don't get over something of that nature. I'm afraid it isn't possible. Right, so yes, thoughts and prayers, genuinely, with everybody who cared for Virginia Dufray. This is from Claire in Derbyshire. She has met Bjorn from ABBA. My absolute musical hero, I've met him, she says. My 21-year-old niece from New Zealand was staying with us. She turned out to be a massive ABBA fan like me, and so I took her to the Mamma Mia experience at the O2. Before the show started there was a bit of a kerfuffle with people standing around one of the booths. I couldn't see what was going on so I asked a waitress who told me it was press night and Bjorn was there. I've never done anything like this before but I promised myself after I survived wound

cancer I would grasp every opportunity that came my way. So I asked the waitress if I could borrow her pen and I wrote a note to Bjorn asking if he could sign the napkin for my niece. Well, after the interval, his assistant came over to our table and said, Bjorn wanted to meet us. We went to his booth and he talked to us

and had photos with us. He was absolutely lovely. As you can see from the attached photos, I was very emotional to meet him and my niece will never forget the moments we shared. I've met other stars, says Claire, and I cannot say the same about them. Would I say more? Yes, you can say the same about them.

You can just tell us what really happened, Claire. Do let us know. It's J and V at Times Stop, really. Someone's got to let you know. What a lovely story, Jane. That's great. Let's concentrate on the positive, you're right. Yes. Fantastic that Bjorn properly delivered.

Yeah, very thoughtful. Dubai is the destination for a memorable holiday. You can go from sun-soaked tranquil beaches to cycling along the desert dunes. Whether you're looking for a relaxing holiday or an active one, you can find your perfect holiday. With high fashion emporiums, incredible dining experiences and traditional suits and markets, what's not to love about Dubai? Enjoy traditional architecture, modern art or relax at the spa. Discover your dream holiday at visitdubai.com. Dubai, what's not to love.

visit Dubai.com. Dubai, what's not to love? Now this comes in about Girona. So I went to Girona the week before you were off. And we both thought it was in Italy. Turned out to have moved to Spain. It is in Spain. I think, yes, yeah. I'm, yeah, whatever. Hello, Fia and Jane. As a long time fan of your podcast, I was excited to hear that Fionn visited Girona, the city I've lived in for 25 years. Our listenership is so blooming internationally, Jones. Yeah, it really is. I'm married to a local, says Nikki.

It was interesting you pick up on the tensions between the professional cyclists that come here and the locals. Lance Armstrong lived here for about a year in the noughties and started the trend. I think what annoys the locals most is the city is used by some cyclists who neither learn the language nor engage in local life. There are now quite a few American cafes and restaurants all in English. The attitude of some of the cyclists on the road can be quite upsetting as they ride in big gangs and block

the road. I'm a keen walker and now find driving up small mountain roads near the city impossible because of the danger of overtaking cyclists. I feel things will come to a head soon like many tourist towns. Girona is becoming a Disneyland version of itself where the locals fail to thrive anymore. It's impossible to get a good price menu of the day if you work in the centre and that's not to mention the price of housing. Yes tourism brings in money but now like many tourist spots in the world, it's destroying the very character of the place people want to visit. It's a hard balancing act, I know, but serious thought needs to be put into how locals in

tourist cities can live and thrive alongside the visitors. It's an email for the ages, this one, isn't it? Difficult though, isn't it? It is very difficult. And do you genuinely think about your impact on a place when you're booking one of your five-star luxury breaks in a European destination? Probably not hard enough, Fee. I'm really being put on the spot. No, I tell you why. I'm only going to phrase it like that because I think actually that I mean Spain has got the most

terrible housing crisis at the moment, hasn't it? And quite a few cities, particularly Barcelona. Because of Airbnb? Yeah, but have been decimated by the tourist industry. And apart from anything else, if you're in a port these days and you get these massive cruise ships decanting thousands and thousands and thousands of tourists every day. They've all got norovirus as well. It's disgusting. Then you know it's proving incredibly problematic.

But you always go and stay in hotels and actually after we got back from Girona because there's quite a lot of really actually very beautiful graffiti around. Saying what? Saying... Push off. Yes, saying cyclists welcome but gentrification not, basically. And then there was most fantastic and I'll pop it up on the Instagram. How would that impact a sort of gentleman cyclist such as Jeremy Vine?

You missed Jeremy Vine. A friend alerted me, she said, oh, he's on, Jeremy Vine's on. In fact, it was the friend who had spotted Jeremy on his Penny Farthing when we were out together. We talked Penny Farthing. Oh did you? And? How is he? Is he off it? On it? What's happening? You should watch the clip, it's quite funny. If you watch the clip on Instagram because Roya Neika was doing the show with me last

week and she was really lovely to work with and her face, no, not you. That felt a bit pointed. No, she's not you, but she was very lovely to work with. I'd like to say that because Her face during the interview about the Penny Farthing is just adorable. It is priceless. Is she thinking of getting one? I don't think so. I think not. But we did discuss plenty of other things. But then I did see that Jeremy Vine's come

off Twitter because he's fallen off. He took Twitter too quickly. Yes. Well, went round a corner. That's what happens. He's no longer going to post anything about cycling because it's become so hateful and divisive. He's just going to stop. Blimey. He's going to become silent on the cycling. Okay, right. But he'll post on other subjects. Well I think so, yes. I think he was just saying that actually the vitriol about cycling has just become too much and I read through some of the stuff that he put up there

and I mean it is vile. It's absolutely vile. You wouldn't want to talk to anybody who's trying to just make a point. Yeah. In that way. You shouldn't be allowed to. No, of course you shouldn't. But some of the... So I read an article, I don't think I'll mention which article, in the Sunday Times over the weekend and I went to look at the comments underneath the article. It was an interview with a famous woman and honestly some of the comments and this is from... I know I shouldn't... This is from's readers and I'm going to say I expect better. Some of the comments were vile.

Like what? They were misogyny, they were really misogynist and frankly racist as well. There was an edge, there was a definite suggestion that racism might have been. There were also other people calling exactly that out I should say. But you do wonder why do people feel the need to post such hatred? If you don't like somebody don't read an interview with them. I mean the opportunity, I know there's a certain amount of hate listening and hate watching and even hate reading that goes on quite clearly but I don't think it's a very pleasant side of human nature is it? And I think maybe we should all have a little

word with ourselves. Don't engage with the kind of material that you know is going to bring out your worst side. I think it might be something that we could, you know, think about going forward. I think it would be lovely if we could. But it's become the staple of those companies' balance sheets, hasn't it? Of the staple of those companies' balance sheets. Of course, of course, and that's what's so bloody grim about it all. So you need to be provocative in order to get eyes on it. Yeah, I mean it's always just worth mentioning that, like Jeremy, I absolutely loved Twitter

when it was in its pre-Musk Hay Day. I really did. I loved engaging with people. I loved the endorphin rush of getting a reaction to something you'd said. And mine was very sort of small scale. Nothing compared to Jeremy Vine's presence. But it's just worth saying that the most notifications, the biggest amount of interactivity I got on Twitter, was when I made a passing comment whilst drunk about the flavour of Princess Beatrice's wedding cake. Was it Beatrice's or Meghan's? No, it wasn't Meghan's. It was one of those daughters. Okay.

And it was, you know, an ill-judged but not offensive remark. Well, you say that. It really wasn't remotely offensive because nobody, no. But you take yourself so seriously as an individual. People want to hear what I've got to say about this. No, they won't. People are managing absolutely fine without knowing what my hot take is on any of the big issues of the day. But I think the sad thing about X now, and this isn't an original thought, is that you just can't find that kind of, you know, light-hearted, witty, acerbic comment at all.

Oh, can't you? Okay, well. So I left it for a while and then went back at the time of the coronation, because I just really wanted to see what everybody would say, because you just knew that it would be so funny and lovely some of the commentary and it was there then yeah but there is nothing like that now it's just been swamped by this kind of nasty sticky residue of hatred you cannot get past it. Well Jeremy's well off out there then. Yes yeah so I think he absolutely is

because you just I don't personally think you you are ever gonna change anybody's mind now No on that platform. He's um, he's written a thriller hasn't he he has he's written murder online one Which is crime fiction set around a radio station Featuring Edward Temis as his protagonist a late-night radio presenter Who has lost his job. But in very sad circumstances actually, there's tragedy running through the core of the book. Because I was expecting it to be, you know, kind of quite jaunty, cosy crime actually. And it's got some real bits of tragedy in it.

Gosh. Yeah, I know. Right, okay, well that's put me in mind. I am now reading a book that everybody's been raving about. Chris Whitaker, All the Colours of the Dark. Okay, good for you. Have you heard of that? No, I haven't, sorry. Well, I'd be interested to hear what other people think about. I'm there, but I don't know. Anyway, it's been highly, highly recommended. And here's another one from Glyn. Yes. Now Glyn last week. What did he think I was doing? He thought that you were in celebrity traitors. Yeah, but also Glyn was very engaged with the Jeremy Vine interview

And and I would just like to tell Glyn that I think Jeremy Vine is a giant of broadcasting This is code being issued here and I'll just leave it at that code being issued here and I'll just leave it at that. But in the heat of the moment, and basically Glyn, because Roy and I were laughing too much about not wanting to see Jeremy Vine's belly farting, that I did forget to issue that message to you and it bugged me all the way through the weekend actually, so I'm sorry Glyn, there you go. Continue. Well that felt a little bit niche but Glyn will have appreciated it and we're sticking with him because he says, Your recent conversations about VE Day memories coincided with me rereading Jonathan Coe's great novel, Bournville. And honestly, I can't recommend that highly enough, Glyn. It's great, isn't it?

It begins on VE Day and then charts the story of one family and a nation over the subsequent 80 years. Honestly, if you're looking for an absolute, it's not cozy, that's the wrong word, but it's deeply companionable and insightful and it's about Britain and about community and everyone should read it. I reconcur. And also wouldn't you say that it's, and this is where I think some writers become geniuses because it's such easy to read writing. It's pleasure. It's not dense or overly tense. Or arty. Arty or complicated and I love his writing for that.

Or we need to choose another book club, don't we? Yes we do. Let's put the hive mind to work. We've had quite a few suggestions but we should get that out because I think that'll end up being, maybe we could do one now and then do a fantastic bonkbuster for August. My suggestion for the August one, and you can shout me down everybody, would be Valley of the Dolls. Oh yeah, well I never read it at the time.

No, I haven't read it. It's meant to be an absolute classic. I'd just quite like to read something that's that back in the 1980s steamy. I think it was 70s. 70s. Yeah, gosh, I mean I was very much with the Pyrex dish of the 1970s. It was steamy. Yes. Lazy Susans. I tell you what, the laughter and the steaminess was simply unending. Longtime listener here making a bit of a plea says Rod and this is sorry it came to my attention because it's also a reference to VE Day. There's going to be a lot of volume of reporting on the anniversary of VE Day says Rod and this year it'll be even more because of the 80th

anniversary and of course the loss of people who actually remember it. My plea is for the Channel Islands to be mentioned on the following day, that's May the 9th, because this is celebrated as our liberation day. The bit everyone seems unaware of is that the Channel Islands of Jersey, Guernsey, Alderney and Sark were occupied for the Germans for the best part of five years and they suffered greatly and along with the Germans were saved from starvation by the arrival of a Red Cross ship, the SS Vega, carrying food parcels. I didn't know that, did you? I didn't know. Rod says that the Princess Royal is going to visit Guernsey and Sark on Friday the

9th and Saturday the 10th so they haven't been forgotten in terms of royal visits and proper commemorations in a couple of weeks time but I think it's fair to say that there's a lot we don't quite know about what happened on the Channel Islands during the Second World War and some things are sort of slightly left to, you know, left to sort of let's not go there kind of territory. So yes, I understand what you're saying, Rod, and we will make sure that we try to remember to mention the important anniversary on the 9th of May. Well, we're always on a steep learning curve. Well, Eve's just mentioned, and she's right too, because I sort of had forgotten, but only just remembered, that we are talking about mass observation, which we have mentioned

before on the podcast, in terms of EE Day on the day itself, the 8th of May, not the 9th of May, Rod, but we are going to bring in the Channel Islands to the conversation, I promise. And I've just read that book, I read it last week, and honestly it's brilliant, by a historian called Lucy Noakes, and it's a fantastic insight into, first of all, I didn't know that the mood in the country in the build-up to VE Day was actually, people were not exuberant. The notion that people were going around pissed as farts, absolutely delighted and couldn't wait. It just wasn't like that.

There was a lot of fear and trepidation about what peace might entail, about what life would be like without the war. There were people who'd obviously lost sons and husbands and fathers and all other sorts of relatives. And it was miserable, they'd lost their homes. There was hardly any food. There was no clothes were still being rationed. I mean and it was miserable, they'd lost their homes, there was hardly any food, there was no clothes, we're still being rationed, I mean it was shit. And also the day to VE day kept being put back and nobody knew when it was actually going to

happen. And was there a worry that the peace wouldn't be certain as well? Oh, I think there was already a mood of well when are we going to start fighting the Russians then? Yes, yeah. You know, it was really, yes, I learned a great deal from this book and mass observation such a good idea I thought it was an official government project but it wasn't. It was sort of taken up by the authorities but it was actually two

blokes who decided that the experiences of real people were worth recording. They always are. Of course they are. So that's gonna be something that we talk about on May the 8th. Fantastic. Have you read The Salt Path? Do you know, I have and my mum was talking about it yesterday. She absolutely loves it and is very excited to learn that there's a film and I believe we're talking to one of the stars.

Well, yes, just in an attempt to tease another guest on the programme. Gillian Anderson, who stars in The Saltpath with Jason Isaacs, is going to be our guest. We'll pop that out next week, I think, won't we? So that's something to look forward to as well, if you've enjoyed The Boog. Yes. Well, what a podcast this has been. What a podcast.

We've been everywhere. Rome, Girona, Liverpool. The mountains of Tennessee. The Smoky Mountains. And now we've come back to SE1. What's our snail mail address, Jane? Feetlover and Jane Garvey can be found at Times Radio Offair, 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1, 9GF, Great Britain, or as this continental postcard has described it, Gross Britannia.

Gross Britonia. That's from Switzerland. Here's a postcard of one of the oldest towns in Switzerland founded by an Irish monk. By God, they get about, don't they? I mean, how did he get about to Switzerland? I think he just walked on a pilgrimage. St Gallus. The Abbey has a spectacular library, C-Stamp. Oh yes, God, it looks absolutely...

Will I please stop saying God? What a library it looks. Thank you very much indeed. It's Gillian Muller. Gillian, thank you very much. What a lovely part of the world you live in and all thanks to that Irish monk. We will reconvene at the same time tomorrow but it'll be Jane More Carons because I've got to go

and do a thingy midgety what's it tomorrow. Right okay goodbye everybody I think we need to end this session very very very abruptly goodbye goodbye. Congratulations, you've staggered somehow to the end of another Off Air with Jane and Fee. Thank you. If you'd like to hear us do this live, and we do do it live, every day Monday to Thursday, 2 till 4 on Times Radio. The jeopardy is off the scale and if you listen to this you'll understand exactly why that's the case. So you can get the radio online on DAB or on the free Times Radio app. Off Air is produced by Eve Salisbury and the executive producer is Rosie Cutler. Dubai is the destination for a memorable holiday. You can go from sun soaked tranquil beaches to cycling along the desert dunes. Whether you're looking for a relaxing holiday or an active one, you can find your perfect

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