Off Air... with Jane and Fi - The mistaken identity of the Wote Street Willy (with Jill Scott)

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

Jane's in need of some fresh batteries—please excuse any malfunctions from her in this episode. There's also more postcards, signs from the universe, and doorknobs. Plus, former Lioness Jill Scott discusses the importance of nutrition and exercise as part of an FA campaign with M&S. If you fancy sending us a postcard, the address is: Jane and FiTimes Radio, News UK1 London Bridge StreetLondonSE1 9GFPlease send your suggestions for the next book club pick! If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram! @janeandfiPodcast Producer: Eve SalusburyExecutive Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yes, sometimes our words of wisdom are lost on first hearing and we do urge people to listen again if there's something they haven't quite understood first time round. We are intellectual, we make no bones about it. Yeah, it's so hard to keep up with us. Yes, it must be. So we've got loads of postcards. We have built a postcard wall. So Eve, who really does do the business for us Jane, doesn't she? She's built a postcard wall with all of the new arrivals and she's photographed it to put it up on the Insta and then she took the postcard wall down so we can actually read the postcards. and then she'll put it up. Will it be in

exactly the same order? I hope so. Will it be a bit like before and after? Okay, that's great. But look, thank you because people are spending a blooming fortune on us. Well, we know and we're very grateful so far and there've been some beautiful cards and cards of historical interest and geographical note and perhaps the other way around, but so far this is my favourite. It is a beautiful, beautiful, can you use the powers of radio description please? All I'll tell you is this is from, does it say Nat in Devon? I can't, it's very lovely but rather small writing. Oh, definitely Nat in Devon? I can't, it's very lovely but rather small writing. Oh definitely Nat in Devon.

Nat in Devon, thank you, thank you Devon, Nat, Nat Devon. It's a postcard which has an image on the front of Moot Hall, Alborough and a meeting of the Borough Council. Can you describe the councillors please? Well I'm going to say they're not the most diverse bunch. I have spotted there's a couple of lady chaps, but I think quite literally a couple. And the rest are grizzled gents in tweed and dark suits. I'm guessing this image would have been taken, when do you think, possibly the early 70s? I think maybe. Or maybe last week. Depending on your view of Albritton.

Very much so. I think just by the rims on the glasses, I think it's somewhere around, I'm going to say kind of 79, 78, 79, do you think? And I just want to know what word the photographer asked people to say or said to them to affect the gazes that are being given by all of them. Because, I don't know, look at that one, third in. I mean, he's wanted for questioning, isn't he? A slight hint of Norman Lamont about him, but it's not him. And you've also got to

wonder what was on the agenda. I mean, we've all been to someont about him, but it's not him. And you've also got to wonder what was on the agenda. I mean, we've all been to some dull old meetings, but what was on the agenda of the Alborough Borough Council back in the day? Imagine a scandal now if a local council was spending money producing postcards for sale in the local gift shop. Also, in all honesty, who would look at a selection of postcards and choose this one? Well, somebody does. Somebody has.

No, thanks so much. Honestly, it's a real old treat to get these postcards. If you're interested, by the way, in our address, which you might be, it's Jane O'Feyer, Off Air, Times Radio, 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1, 9GF. Yeah. You're going to put it in the description. Okay, lovely. It'll be in the description.

More work for Eve. can't believe it. And can we just say thank you to Kate for our beautiful cards that she sent us. Oh my word Kate. So we're intrigued by these because they are, they look like a bunch of cards that you would buy in a shop. Yeah. You've got ten, you've got a variety of images and all that kind of stuff but they are definitely personalised to us aren't they? And it's so kind of her, she says, for Fee you have a selection of pets, gardens and outdoor swimming and you've got some beautiful images on the card she selected for you and I have got cats, national trust vibes and European travel, notably Greece. It's absolutely perfect. So Kate thank you so much and next time I send a birthday card

or indeed any kind of card, there'll be ones that you have provided. Peggy and Kate is the name of Kate's company. So I wonder whether you email Peggy and Kate or you get in touch and you say these are the things that I'm interested in and then you can all get personalised stuff. It became, the reason that Kate responded I should say is because I'd been talking about, well we'd both been talking about vulgar birthday cards. Yes we had. We don't like them. And it is a bit of a thing, I just don't want swears on the front of my card. No, but also I don't, I also don't want too clever by half postcards. I really like a postcard, like all of these that we're receiving at the moment, that tells you something about places that they're from, council meetings you've been to.

This one comes in from North Berwick, it's from Jane Coyne. Now we are going to nail down the North Berwick issue because I know that a lot of you have looked at the website Fringe by the Sea and you can't yet book tickets but don't worry we are on to that our operatives our people chain our people are across this. They won't sleep until this is sorted. And they'll get it sorted and you'll be able to book ASAP and it would be absolutely lovely to see you there. I also want to congratulate Claire Wood who sent greetings from Bristol I hope this postcard looks great on your wall. I thought it was very on-brand for off-air. And these are a group of, I don't know what the

collective noun would be, for the the gentlemen who wear the bearskins. Is that household cavalry? What is the bearskins? Guardsmen. Guardsmen? Yeah I think it is a household cavalry. They're all certainly guardsmen, you wouldn't be wrong if you said that. Okay, so we'll hedge our bets and just say royal guard people who wear those great big hats and they're all in a cafe having beans on toast. I'm just amazed they're not allowed to take their hats off in order to have their little luncheon. And keep them coming because we are building the wall. Yeah, and just think of the pride. If you saw your postcard on that wall, the off-air postcard wall, off the wall, off-air. Jackie and Cheshire would be laughing.

She says, I'm a long-term fan. Shit, what's happened? Do you want me to get another battery and put it in? Is it just one of the three slightly wearing down? Well, I've got triple A's. want AAAs? Yeah. Fresh AAAs. Fresh AAAs. I've got a lot of AAA batteries in my emergency prep drawer. I bet you have. Yeah. That's because they're suitable for radios. Okay. Can I just give you a handy hint for your emergency prep drawer? Because this is from my experience yesterday. Oh, yes. You better just reveal what happened.

Don't have all of your tools in your emergency drawer in the kitchen. Just in case the kitchen door is the one that slams shut and the knob comes off the other side and nobody could get in but a child is stuck the other side of it. Don't do it, don't do it kids. Yeah, a child on school holiday, really glad to be stuck in a kitchen. She wasn't on her own though because the others were, all the animals were there. And also she's not a child, She's a very, very adult teenager. No, she told me. We don't want to give the impression that she's three and a half. No, she's really not.

Looking for a biscuit. She's perfectly capable. But even so, I think it's an extraordinary aspect of 21st century life that something as simple as a door handling handle malfunctioning can just lead. But door handles, if one falls off the other side... You're stuffed, Jane. You pretty much are. Why? So, do either of us... Oh, either of us up to explaining why that might be?

Well, luckily the stick on the door knob had stayed in. What's that even called? I'm just going to call it a stick. The stick. So it's usually like a golden square end stick. Exactly. And I found a tool upstairs, for some unknown reason, was in the ironing cupboard. I don't know why, but I remembered it was there. Listen, what you do in your private time is up to you.

It's a little kind of, it's like a do-it-yourself portable vice. Make of that what you will. So I managed to clamp it and then turn the handle on it, but it's such a good point, Jane, because if a doorknob does come off and the door is shut, how do you get to the hinges to take the door off? I mean, you can't, can you? I just don't know. What would have happened?

Would someone have had to come round and just force the door out of its casing? Well, on all the cop shows, when somebody needs to force a door open, they just shoulder... They have to have an intruder. Well, no, or they do that, the big ramming thing. Yes. Or they just shoulder charge it. I don't think you could shoulder charge this door. It's a whopper.

Right. I think it used to be an external door. Oh, I see. Side return, Joan. A side return, yes. Indeed. Oh, I wonder if there's a magazine devoted to side returns. Oh I see. Side return, yes indeed. Oh I wonder if there's a magazine devoted to side returns. Oh I bet there is. It'd be better than Pitchcare. Yeah. I hope they're going some. Anyway, okay so that, your understanding, no let me rephrase

this, god I really can't, I do need to have my batteries replaced today. What we've taken from what happened yesterday, let's learn, is that no mother should ever go out to work. That's exactly it. Because I got the text at 2.35. We were on air. Well, you were enjoying yourself at work. The first week that I came back to work here, which was the most full-time work that I've done since having the kids, the cat died on the first day and the boiler broke on the second day and it was like the universe saying, how dare you imagine that your place is outside

the home, Lovie? Staying. Do you know what I did, Jane? I pushed on through. Yes, you're still here. To my delight. Okay, so, but the other learning for you, apart from that lady should never leave the house, I mean, I totally agree there, but is that you don't have your tools, well, you have tools, what, scattered around the house to deal with an incident in a confined space. Well, I think it would be no bad idea to have just something in a different part of the house.

And also, in all seriousness, if you want to be security conscious, then it is quite a good idea to just have something with you in different rooms of the house, just in case. What do you mean? Well, just in case anybody ever broke in. Oh, I see. Or just in case you heard a difficult noise in the night.

That might have been why I had the portable vice-like clamp thing that I can't remember the name of in the ironing cupboard, which is off the night. That might have been why I had the portable vice-like clamp thing that I can't remember the name of in the ironing cupboard which is off the bedroom. I probably did because it's a great big kind of metal, it's huge, huge clamping thing. So maybe I put it there thinking it would be wise to have something. You know most nights I'm the only adult in the house and have been for years. You've been the same. Yeah, no it's's true. It's funny that, isn't it? It's an interesting point that I wonder whether, you see, I do think about that sort of thing and then I just think I could, what's the point? There's no point letting my thoughts go there. So I dismiss them. But I'm sure like you, I have woken in the middle of the night and thought, what was? Yeah. And yes that's that's just part of the human experience isn't it? And did I wake up last night?

No I didn't but the night before I thought I heard something. So yeah it's really interesting what do we do? Why do we worry about it? Well we worry about it because it's a fact of life isn't it? So we'd be mad in a way not to worry about it but I think to worry obsessively is a waste of headspace. Yes I completely agree and you don't want to live your life on that kind of anticipating disaster. I also would say that based on the happen to be men that I have lived with, had there been a noise in the night I'd have gone. Let's just be honest about that. Anyway that's taken us away from this important email from Jackie who says,

I'm a long-term fan. If he ever gets a job presenting Crimestoppers, I'm going to write in. Couldn't stop a crime if anyone said hello. Crimestoppers, is it? Can we get back to Jackie? She doesn't even listen anymore. I feel the need to read her email out. I'm a long-term fan, dating back to the old place. However, I've given up listening to AuFaire,

as the steady increase in giggling renders many words incomprehensible. It's a pity. Right, no more laughter. Stop it. Stop it. In all honesty, there's not a lot to laugh about today. So if we can find something, I think we'll be doing quite well. The thing I'm annoyed about, Jane, in the real world, is that we've all fallen for it. And we have used, even though we might be putting it in inverted commas, Donald Trump's term of Liberation Day. And it's not.

It's leaning into lots of days that have been liberating across the world, which are usually about the end of war, mate, and who's it liberation day? Oh God, you're full war. You're completely right. I mean it's facile, nonsensical, but this is what he does. We end up adopting, you're absolutely right, his idiotic terms for things that are usually the exact opposite or a complete exaggeration or just plain

unadulterated cobblers. Yeah. But yesterday you referred to President Trump as a flippity-gibbet. A flippity-gibbet. And I thought, yes, that's good. He needs more of that sort of thing. Or you can put another sibilant in front of that if you want, that's what would usually be the terminology, but we were on air at the time. Well he's basically that silly old man who you see in the bus stop occasionally who shouts at passing balls of fluff as they glide down the road. Right, let's move on. Yes. Do I have to do something now? Okay. Encouragement needed please.

We're more than happy to do this. This is on behalf of Ksenia and I really hope I've pronounced that correctly. If you have time, please could you send a few words of encouragement. I'm almost at the end of my midlife career changing degree in physiotherapy. I'm in the final throes of dissertation writing, it's hard going and not for the faint-hearted as Jane would say at the best of times, but throw in childcare, end of term concerts, husband away for a fortnight on business, no family nearby and it really takes some doing. Anything you can say to encourage me along for

the next couple of weeks would be hugely appreciated. You'll be pleased to hear I am still making time to listen to the podcast, which is providing balance and a reminder that real life will resume in the not too distant future. I can't wait. Well, Cassinia, please do carry on listening if it takes your mind off things, and we wish you the very best of luck. You've got a lot on your plate there. Yeah, a lot going on, but good luck and congratulations as well. Yes.

Because you'll get there, you absolutely will. And then you'll be very, very qualified and you too will be able to go on a business trip at an inopportune moment. Yes, and leave him with all the to-do, to-do. Dear Jane and Fee, I believe you're curious to discover where your dulcet tones are heard. Well yesterday, after an op to remove my fibroids I was woken in the recovery room and then wheeled into a little bay with my bag returned to me. The nurse retrieved my phone and earbuds and I lay there in that peculiar but not unpleasant dazed state. I popped in the buds, pressed play and there you were.

Well I'm really glad that we were available to provide a bit of company. I have to admit that I've just listened to the episode again as I'm now at home, and the blur of rail replacement, heavy lifting and sitting, imagining driving at the front of a double decker does now make a lot more sense. If it ever made sense in the first place. Claire, thank you very much. And yes, sometimes our words of wisdom are lost on first hearing and we do urge people to listen again if there's something they haven't quite understood first time round.

We are intellectual, we make no bones about it. It's so hard to keep up with us. It must be. Our very busy minds. Anne Perry is now resident in Oxfordshire but as a former Basingstoke resident I enjoyed hearing Wendy's description of it. However, she missed several key facts. One, every single person in Basingstoke has a story of meeting Liz Hurley and or her mum. That's disappointing, isn't it?

I myself am one degree of separation from both. A lesser known famous resident though is the former gladiator Falco. Stop giggling. Jackie doesn't listen anymore, doesn't like it. Sorry, but I quite like to hear about meetings with the former gladiator Falcon who once came to inspire us in a PE lesson. Number two amongst its cultural highlights is a giant eight foot phallic structure known locally as the Wote Street Willie. I led an expedition from Oxford to view it when I started university because none of my fellow students believed me about this. I don't know that statue, Jane. Well, we're going to ask young Eve to have a look. Can you find it, please?

It wasn't there in my day. It's called what again? The Wote Street Willie and that's W-O-T-E. Right. W-I-L-L-Y. But that's a kind of local, local affectionate name for it. I think so. I don't think they've actually made a statue of a penis. I hope not. As a teenager I won the Basingstoke Music Festival woodwind category playing the oboe. We might have been up against each other. Anne Perry, now resident in Oxfordshire,

I include this as I know it will be much appreciated by Fee. It certainly is. Congratulations! Oh my word! Right, sorry. Stop giggling and finish the email and then we'll get on to this extraordinary structure. OK, yours, Anne Perry. Oh great, well done, beautifully read. Now, oh Anne, you are so on the money, what on

earth is going on there? It's an ancient structure, it's not something new, is it? No I think it's new, I think it's been especially commissioned. The largest statue of a penis on public display in Britain, this nine foot tall granite stone sculpture has been delighting Basingstoke and I can't find anymore. So it's actually a statue of a penis. Wow, Basingstoke's come a long way. The sculptor of the artwork is a man called Michael Pegler,

originally intended to portray a child being protected by its praying mother. Sorry mate, it hasn't worked. It just looks like a penis. Anyway, oh Anne, that's brilliant. Thank you for that. And I wonder what category you won. Whether it was, you know, under 13s, under 12s, under 8s or whatever.

And what did you get? Did you get a certificate? A little medal? We didn't have medals back in the day. We always had certificates. Didn't, for things? Or little badges you could sew on? Little badges, yes, that your mother would then have to sew on and would be very angry about it. And I always claim that's why I didn't bother trying to get Girl Guide badges, because it would just be work for my mother. You're very thoughtful. Yeah, just so I only got the one. Oh no, two, but I didn't actually do it, I just got one

by mistake. So I got firefighter and hostess. Right. Both useful. Hopefully not on the same night. That's right, stop laughing. Uh, this is from Lowry in Denby in North Wales. Um, I thought you might like to hear after Jane mentioned that she was a little hesitant about going sofa shopping for fear that she would struggle to get up from the sofa she was trying. That whilst on a recent girl's ski trip my friend, and I won't name her for her own sake,

who isn't much of a skier but very much enjoys the social side. Now by the way I love that. I love someone who signs up to a ski trip with no particular interest in skiing but an absolute love for the mountain air and the apres ski and the overpriced croque monsieur or madame. Well that's why you should go. Yeah I think you're right actually. Anyway this lady she had a smashing morning reading her book on the side of the slopes in a deck chair. You can find these deck chairs in the many bars and restaurants on the slopes but when it was time to leave she realized that getting out of the chair was quite

impossible ski boots and late 50s knees etc. So she took a quick look left and right then simply tipped herself out onto her hands and knees before fumbling toddler-like to her feet slash skis. I think that's absolutely fine. And I think in those moments when you you know you probably can take a quick look around, no one's going to see. I mean, this is always assuming CCTV isn't in operation in the locale. But yeah, just do it. If that's the way you need to move, move like that. No shame. And also, I mean, everybody's fearful of a deck chair, suddenly folding on them and engulfing

them or just taking their fingers out. You know if you if you let down to push yourself up from the bits where it's connected. Oh, geagles! I know I'm a bit wary of deck chairs. I have though, you'll be glad to hear, washed the fabric on my deck chairs ready for summer. Well good luck with that. It's a beautiful week actually. The sunshine is with us in the UK but it's still very very chilly at night. Well it's perfect, chilly at night, sunny in the day. I think there was even a little bit of a frost last night. Sleep divorce. Now thank you for all of your very thoughtful emails about snoring which all go in the same direction. This is going to remain anonymous. I don't like the term

sleep divorce, it sounds really negative but me and my husband do sleep in separate rooms. We were fortunate enough to come into some inheritance a couple of years ago that allowed us to buy a house with a spare room, and now I have the incredible luxury of my own little bedroom. For years we struggled to sleep in the same small bedroom, he never used to snore, but then started to, but even before that I'm such a light sleeper that him just turning over would wake me up. Although we are completely compatible in all other ways, we are completely sleep incompatible. He likes to stay up late, get up late, I like to go to bed early, get up early, he likes to be cool at night, etc. etc. When the perimenopause hitter became unbearable with the constantly

having hot flushes and getting up for the loo. It just became impossible. In the smaller house I'd sleep in my daughter's bedroom and sometimes I'd sleep on the sofa. But I always felt that somehow we were failing in our marriage by not being able to sleep in the same bed. And that it was something to be ashamed about. But it was only when on another podcast I listened to... What? about but it was only when on another podcast I listened to what the couple talked openly about having separate rooms in a positive way and I started to feel okay about it it definitely doesn't mean there is less action in the bedroom I can visit him in his bed whenever I fancy our marriage is

definitely the better for it there we are yeah well you've got to do what works for you both but isn't it weird that we have think, been made to feel that there's something wrong if you don't curl up together perfectly every night? That it's something that very few people actually speak openly about. Well, I think... Isn't it easier earlier in life? Oh, I think so, yeah. Definitely. I mean, most of the time you're drunk.

That's true. Not everybody, Fi. Sometimes I think we're both inclined to judge other people by our own low standards. I'm so sorry. We mustn't. No, but people do start snoring more when they're older. But don't be ashamed. Get out of the bed, go somewhere else, have a good night's sleep, get back in if you need a little bit of love action. Or just move abroad. On your own.

love action or just move abroad on your own. Right, this is about, this email is entitled The Full Life Cycle and it's from Nikki. Hello Nikki. She says she emailed last year about the lambs that they'd taken on and the ambition of taking them to the abattoir. Now I read this because I'm not a vegetarian, I eat meat. So we need to acknowledge, as Nikki says in this email, this is what happens. Are you ready? I am ready. We started off with five lambs. One was teeny weeny and lived in the kitchen for two weeks. One of the stronger ones sadly died at a few months old, but we ended up with four very strong lambs. Two girls, two boys. A friend of mine who has a small flock offered to buy the two ewe lambs to join his flock, which included

the kitchen lamb, and they went off in February. The two boy lambs went to the abattoir last Monday and we collected them from the butcher yesterday. Last Thursday we picked up four new orphan lambs and so it goes on. We love it. It's hard work for six weeks when they get fed four times a day. Both of my children understood that they were going to the abattoir and what that meant. We've got 21 people for lunch on Easter Sunday, 21! But I'm going to be doing a shepherd's pie and peas. Attached our images from the beginning to the end. I feel very comfortable eating them as I know they had a superb life with us. Lots of lovely grass. I know every paddock they grazed and what they were fed. We looked after them really well

You can't get better than that. Many thanks Nikki. And she sent eight images of absolutely everything from the first little titchy witchy gambling little things You can see why I didn't go into commentary of today's occasions. I just wasn't suited to it. To, frankly, I'll be absolutely honest, the joints of lamb in the freezer. And, like I say, you can't criticise if you eat meat. No, you absolutely can't. And I do.

But I'd be really interested if there were any farmers listening who actually, sometime in their life, have turned vegetarian because it has become too much for them. Yeah. I don't know whether that might happen. Can I recommend that if anybody wants just one of the sweetest pictures to emerge ever from the world of animal husbandry, if you just type in lambs on a donkey it'll come up and it's this one. Would you like to describe that or you could just read out the legend on it?

Each year in Italy animals are moved to the higher ground to graze but the lambs, being too young, are carried in special pouches worn by donkeys. It's so sweet. Unimaginably cute. So it's a lovely, lovely donkey who's got a kind of coat like you'd put on any horse in the cold and the coat has got three pockets and there are three tiny lambs with their little floppy ears. Floppy ears. Pick it out.

Poking out and they get carried up to the higher ground. They'll be dead now. Right, okay. Okay. Well, it's just the fact. Okay. I can't get over 21 for lunch. That is a lot, isn't it? Yeah. Right, okay. Okay! I can't get over 21 for lunch.

That is a lot, isn't it? But good idea to just do a great big pie and peas. You say just do a great big pie. It's still quite a big ask. But it's an ask beforehand, isn't it? Which is so much easier. Yeah, you're right. We went to a lovely friend's birthday party on Saturday night

and the host had cooked for his wife and guests just the most... Rather than just cooking something for himself. Delicious lasagna. It was so lovely and everybody just went, oh, that's fantastic. Because it was just no bother. It was absolutely brilliant. And you know, it was just a guaranteed banger.

I thought, yeah, good on you. Because I think for birthday parties, people often pull out all the stops, it becomes complicatedados. Well, no, darling, I know. But other people might feel the need to be more complicatedados. Can I just say that, it's a wonderful tip. Plan ahead. Cook the day before.

Do a pie or a lasagna for no panic. Yeah. Yeah. Because then you can focus on your guests because it's the job of you, the host or hostess, to keep the evening going. Flowing, magically flowing. Flowing. Maybe write down some topics that you might want to talk about. House prices in your area. Whether Brexit has had a backlash, are there any good schools

where you are? Are you having to pay VAT? And what you really want to talk about is do you know that she's knocking off the blue down the road? And that's been for years. Yeah, but don't forget the university offers that young Satsuma has had already and what their predicted grades are. Yes.

Because if you could manage to insert, well of course, I mean we'd never even consider Cambridge, I mean it's just too complicated isn't it? Terrible, terrible pastoral care at that university so we turned it down. She's thinking of America. Right, Andrew in Bristol, my mother is a boomer. Listen, watch it Andrew, because I'm a boomer. Only just. Only just? Six months a boomer. Six months. I was a boomer for six months, but in fairness to me I was six months old when I stopped being a boomer and I can't really have known much about it.

Just remind people outside of the United Kingdom what a boomer means. I think a boomer is an international term isn't it for those of us born post-war but before the end of 1964. Okay well if you're listening to us in a far-flung destination and that rings true do get in touch. My mother a boomer is excellent at buying stamps says Andrew. She recently bought 40 books instead of 40 stamps costing her 300. Now I wonder whether and I've done this by the way so no no shade on Andrew's mother you know when you think you you think you've ordered what you want but they've misheard

you slightly or just misinterpreted what you asked for and they give you something and you're just too plain shy and embarrassed to actually contradict them. So I wonder whether Andrew's mom just wanted 40 stamps. She's obviously got a lot of people she wants to write to but they handed over 40 books and she just thought oh god I better pay for them. Oh my gosh that's so much. I'm assuming that's what happened but maybe it didn't maybe she wants to spend I mean I don't know I mean that's that would carry you through fair few it didn't, maybe she wants to spend. I mean, I don't know. I mean, that would carry you through a fair few years, wouldn't it? Do you know, I did completely the opposite today at the travel money exchange. So I think

I bought a million Vietnamese currency things. Yeah, a dong. Yes, thank you. Vietnamese dongs. And I was frantically trying to, you know, you can now flip money from account to account on your phone. I said okay well I've really got to bump something up because it's not going to go through. And it did. It is actually a million Vietnamese Dong is still a relatively small amount of money here. And I wonder in those currencies where inflation has made everything so preposterously high has made everything so preposterously high in terms of the amount of zeros on a note, does it ever get easier actually working out the cost? It just would seem to me to be so difficult to work out whether or not you were being overcharged for a pint of milk.

Presumably you do get used to it, but in countries where inflation has zoomed, that must just make your daily life such a bane. No inflation makes it a bane anyway. Well it does, yeah. I agree with you. Was it post-war Germany? Oh, the Weimar Republic? No, when was it where people were wheeling along wheelbarrows of cash? I should know when that was. Because everything cost. They're just super zoomed. Yeah, I mean, you know, to buy a loaf of bread, you need a wheelbarrow of notes. Grim times.

Let's cheer ourselves up with more on stamps. My daughter is 32 and a graduate. Not that long ago, she had to use a stamp for what must have been the first time in her life. She did live in the family home until she was 28, says Angela. And she asked me, where do I get one of those sticky things? She does have some quite interesting turns of phrases. She refers to the post office as the Powie. Expensive is Spenny, a girlfriend is a camel. For some context we are from Liverpool and do have

a tendency to abbreviate words or add E to the end. We named our youngest son Miles and thought it couldn't possibly get abbreviated, but unfortunately everyone calls him Milesy. There we are. Thank you from Angela. Were you ever Janesy? No. No. Okay, here's the guest. Right, let's bring in our guest, Jill Scott. Now, England's women, of course, won the

Euros at Wembley back in July of 2022. You might recall that incredible first goal from Ella Toon, then Chloe Kelly got the slightly scrambled winner, and then there were really delirious celebrations at the end. But a lot of people also fondly remember Jill Scott when she responded to a German tackle with a pretty impassioned attack of the traditional English football verbals. Now you didn't need to be the most gifted lip reader on earth to understand that Jill was rather angry about what had just happened. She retired from the game shortly after the final and has since established herself as a top reality television star, podcast host and a female ex-footballer who more than holds her own with the most grizzled of the male pundits. She's now busy working to educate young people about properly fuelling themselves

and she's working alongside the FA and M&S. We're doing this greater game initiative with the FA. Basically it's trying to get messages across to 12 to 16 year olds just about diet in general. Really trying to get across the message that you need to take some carbohydrates on board, which could be pasta or something like that. And then straight after exercise, can you get some protein on board, which could be a smoothie.

Just things that kids could kind of easily take on, but it's so important because when we think about physical health, it also helps with mental health, thinking and concentrating in school and it's so important especially to me. Yeah I mean I remember back in the 70s the kind of traditional pre-match meal for men I should say because it was only men back in those days would be like a T-bone steak and they'd have it at about 12 o'clock. T-bone steak, chips, maybe some peas, if they were really experimental.

And then they'd go out and run around for 90 minutes. It's not like that anymore, is it? No, and I don't know how people did that. When I was kind of grown up, I would say that my diet was quite good because my mum was very healthy. But I think I learned through football as well. When I first started playing, my diet probably wasn't great. I was travelling a lot. I was getting poorly a lot because

I wasn't taking on the right nutrition. But then as I learned more about it, then small changes really do help. And I think when we're looking at that generation of 12 to 16 year olds, you kind of look at everything and sleep is so important as well. Like I've always been a good sleeper, but I think now kids kind of get stuck on the mobile phones till quite late and that screen time just means that they then can't relax. And of course it's not just that they're looking at screens, it's what they're looking at on the screens. Some of those messages, particularly to young girls actually, can be pretty dangerous and if they're around food and diet

they've got the potential to be really dangerous. if they're around food and diet they've got the potential to be really dangerous. Are you concerned about that? I think when I was growing up kind of the beauty of not having social media and stuff like that was a good thing, like it meant that you could do what you wanted and kind of you weren't getting judged for it. I think now there is a lot about how you look and stuff like that. But for me, I think the message to the next generation is to be strong. It's not about losing weight and stuff like that. It's about being strong in your mind and your body and being healthy.

We want to prevent children getting poorly, having low energy levels. So yeah, obviously growing up with social media now, that definitely is a challenge. And that's why I still like to be running around a football pitch looking a bit scruffy and stuff like that, because it is okay for young girls to look like that. Yeah, okay, we all want to maybe look nice when we go out and stuff like that. But I think it's trying to ease the pressure on them thinking that they always have to look perfect because life isn't perfect at the end of the day. No, I mean, how much exercise did the young Jill do? Were you just like running around 24 7?

Oh all the time. My mum said that I'd literally just be running around. I was like a dog and then she'd just find us like asleep in the kitchen or something like that. I just I've always been a good sleeper but exercise. Literally, you just be like either 100% or 0% but yeah I think exercise was a big part of my life. You have really broken through since the euros and people they know you and you've also I think really importantly broken through into that male dominated football banter world I mean mean, you hold your own. Ian writes one thing, Roy Keane's another. I mean, how do they treat you and how is it to be sometimes the only woman in those rooms?

The lads are great, to be honest. They are really good. And I think at first when I started doing the podcast, there was a lot of comments around why is there a girl there and stuff like that But I think one thing that the podcast does is it really uses humor and to try and get key messages across and I think by Just having banter. I think sometimes people think oh do women have banter? I'm like our changing rooms the banter would have been so much worse than their changing rooms But can you give us any kind of broadcastable example? What time does this go out?

But yeah, we would just have banter obviously there was innuendos and stuff like that probably like what you see on the podcast really. Yeah, well that's the thing, I mean as a woman, well we're both women, we're not gonna know what goes on in all male spaces but they're not gonna know what goes on in all female spaces either are they? Exactly and I think the more that we work together with the guys it was like we've got so much in common, we all love football, we're highly passionate about football, we've got similar football and experiences and then once you get kind of at ease with each other I think the band kind of does roll in. Can we talk more seriously about what it's like to be a Sunderland fan right now. I mean this ridiculously

huge celebration. I mean is it okay to slightly mock because it's only the Carabao Cup. I mean what were they doing in Newcastle? I'll get in trouble if I mock it. The thing is I'm from a split household so half of our family in Newcastle and half Sunderland and if I take my Sunderland hat off it was great for the North East I think it was Newcastle's first trophy in in 70 years and I remember when I can't mock it because when I won my first League Cup with Everton when I was 19 years old I went and got a tattoo of the date on my foot

so when you get when you get that trophy after such a long wait obviously taking off my Sunderland hat, it is a really big achievement for the club, it really is. And do you know what? I think we've gone away a little bit from celebrating these great wins. And you've got to think these players were just young boys who fell in love with the game of football.

Did they ever imagine they were going to be at Wembley with 90,000 people lifting a trophy? And I think them celebrations for family and friends who's helped them along the way, I think it's nice to see. Oh well that's such a diplomatic answer. I know. Alright, what does your tattoo say exactly? So it says 28th of the 2nd 2008 so I'll never forget the date but it's woman numerals and

it's all merged together so it's basically just a smudge of ink but it meant a lot at the time and I went first all the girls were like yeah we'll all get it I went first nobody else has got it. So it's on the sole of your foot? It's like on the inside of my foot apparently the sole of your foot is the most painful place to get a tattoo. Yeah exactly yeah I mean because I've got loads of tattoos all over my feet obviously you're a brave woman. The Newcastle thing, the money they've got and where it comes from,

shouldn't we be concerned about that? I think it's always difficult isn't it? I think there's a few clubs now where we know that they're kind of doing well in terms of financially. I think for me when you're being a pundit and commenting on the games you kind of you just want to focus on the football that goes on on the pitch and do you know what I think we'll look at the game now the men's women and the men's game and the women's game and the games at such a high level there's an influx of high international players which obviously for the women's game just means that the quality on the pitch is of such a high standard. And we should say in case people don't know it's the Saudi Investment Fund who ploughed their money into Newcastle and they're also doing a lot of work around women's tennis I think in Saudi Arabia.

If the Saudi people expressed an interest in funding women's football would that be all right? You'd have to speak to the people that are probably more qualified than me. I think what I like about the women's game is we've really built a good foundation. I think the women's game never grew too quick, which at the time was a little bit frustrating because you'd look at the money on the men's side and it was completely different. But I think we stuck to try and do the right things. I always say if you build a house too quick, it's gonna fall down very fast.

But I think with the women's game, we've put structures in place where it's built on wins and success. And now I think that the game's at a point where nobody can just take them back down. So for me, in my opinion, I think we need to just keep on doing what we're doing. Yeah, I mean, I appreciate that.

That's a question that's hard for you to answer in lots of ways. The concerns that I think Ian Wright expressed recently about the state of pitches, this was this game between Real Madrid and Arsenal, wasn't it? And the pitch really did look dreadful. Yeah. Why do women get fobbed off with conditions like that? Just doesn't seem fair.

Yeah, the pitch wasn't great at all. I've seen Wrighty's Instagram post and I totally agreed with him. The thing is, I think the most important thing is you've got to look out for the welfare of the players and that pitch was very, very dangerous. And also the thing is, which is frustrating for me, is when the game isn't played on a good pitch, I know sometimes they say good footballers should be able to play on anything but if you're having to take two touches instead of doing it in one touch it's going to slow the game down. And that would be because what the ground is bobbly?

Yeah because the ground's bobbly so if it comes in and it's on a smooth surface you can just kind of pass it in one touch but if it's bobbly you've then got to take another touch to get it under control and it just slows the game down and obviously the women's game is reaching such a level that the football is so fast-paced and you want these Champions League games you want the League Cup final and the pitch wasn't great neither if we're being completely honest and you want it to be on good grounds and also as well for the players they've earned these moments ago now playing in a final and I looked at the men's League Cup final and it's on Wembley and you've got the crowd and it was amazing. But the girls didn't get that same opportunity and that for me was quite sad. Now there's the other side of the coin where they're trying to put the final around the country so that

people who maybe can't travel to Wembley still get a chance to go and watch it. That does make sense, doesn't it? Yeah, it does make sense, but I think the two can go hand in hand. Surely we can still find a good pitch for the girls to play on. These are top footballers who I think deserve to be on the best surfaces. And then you're going to see a better spectacle of a game, which is going to increase crowds even more so because people are going to enjoy what they're watching. So the Euros are coming off in July, now England are the holders. I mean realistically this

is going to be quite tough isn't it? Yeah it is going to be tough, it is going to be tough. Obviously you look at the group, there's some tough teams in there, Wales I think it's their first tournament, that's going to be a very tasty game. Yeah but it's the French and the Dutch isn't it? Yes, France and Netherlands. So do I believe that, I still say we, but do I believe that we can do it 100%? I think when you look across the board the names just wall off your tongue, Loryn Hem, Alex Greenwood,

Millie Bright, Leah Williamson, Alessia Russo, like the talent is absolutely incredible and with any job, any talent, you need a great leader and in Serena they've definitely got that so I'm excited, do I believe we can do it 100% Yeah, I mean do you think that some of the momentum that's built up behind women's football and girls football in this country, for it to keep going it does require a degree of success in July doesn't it? I'm not heaping pressure on the team but there's an element of truth in that isn't there? I think one thing that I probably didn't realize was the

change in the game kind of when needed the success of the Euros when needed that massive win to push it to the next level. Do I believe that the girls have to go and win in the summer for the momentum to keep going? No, I actually don't. I think, as I said before, it's reached a level now where there's so many, I bumped into this woman the other day and she said their local football team had one girls team since the Euros have now got 12. So I'm like, these things are existing, they're in place.

I don't think they're now going to be taken away from people. And I must say in the lionesses these young girls and young boys have fantastic role models. So I think no matter what happens in the summer I think the girls will obviously be preparing right and they'll be the best prepared team out there I really do believe that especially with the work of the FA and I think the momentum will keep going obviously a win would be fantastic But I don't want to heap too much pressure on them. That's Jill Scott, a footballer, raconteur, podcaster, endorser of a healthy lifestyle.

We could both learn from her. Very much so. Now I did take a picture of, do you remember we were chatting about the amazing new advert, which is up, it's around the Arsenal Stadium in London so it must be around other stadiums and it's a Purcell and Arsenal obviously has got a Crackham Women's football program going on. So this is on massive great big kind of 30 foot walls around the stadium. If blood is on my shirt I'm a, but if I bleed through my shorts, it's a different story.

And that's a quote from Beth Mead. And there's a, I mean, Beth Mead must be about 120 foot high actually on that wall. But it's... Wow, that's a very public recognition of periods. That's brilliant. Really, really brilliant. And it's courtesy of Purcell. Every stain should be part of the game is the slogan. Absolutely great. Yeah, really superb. And absolutely

unthinkable only a decade ago. Yeah. So really, really a lot of progress being made there. I think that's fantastic. And massively down to Jill Scott and all of her crew. Well, we couldn't be prouder. Seriously, I think it's brilliant. And tomorrow we will reconvene. We think we have a guest. But what can I tell you? We're free flowing crazy mavericks. It's fast paced. It's so fast paced.

It's crazy. You don't have to be mad to work here. But it helps. Goodbye. Congratulations, you've staggered somehow to the end of another Off Air with Jane and Fee. Thank you. If you'd like to hear us do this live, and we do do it live, every day, Monday to Thursday, 2 till 4 on Times Radio. The jeopardy is off the scale and if you listen to this you'll understand exactly why that's the case. So you can get the radio online on DAB or on the free Times Radio app.

Off Air is produced by Eve Salisbury and the executive producer is Rosie Cutler.