Off Air... with Jane and Fi - They do hang low at that age... (with Ryan Tubridy)

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

Jane's complaining about the bank holiday weather but she doesn't let it ruin her trade-mark sunny attitude... They also reminisce about old radio games, sat-nav voice overs and films that haven't aged well. Plus, Irish broadcaster Ryan Tubridy joins Jane and Fi to discuss his podcast ‘The Bookshelf’. You can book your tickets to see Jane and Fi live at the new Crossed Wires festival here: https://www.sheffieldtheatres.co.uk/book/instance/663601If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: [e-mail] us on Instagram! @janeandfiAssistant Producer: Eve SalusburyTimes Radio Producer: Rosie Cutler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There was also a fantastic Radio Bristol competition was who's in the cupboard. I don't know if it is. That's my whole shit. Contacts. Calendar. Double tap to open. Breakfast with Anna from 10 to 11. And get on with your day. Accessibility. There's more to iPhone. I've got a recipe involving them actually from Hello magazine, which is surprisingly quick and really tasty.

What's in the recipe? It's prawns, well, a bit of butter and oil, one red chilli and then some sriracha, some soy and a bit of mild curry powder and some chilli flakes and then you lob the prawns in. Okay. It's one of the finest dishes. It's one of the finer things in life.

Hot and spicy, isn't it? Well, if you want it slightly hotter for you, you can add maybe a medium curry powder. Even a hot one. No. I mean, listen, Nigella. Don't be silly. Watch out. I'm coming your way.

Don't be silly. Watch out. I'm coming your way. Don't be ridiculous. So thank you to Eve for pointing out that the studio wasn't broken. I've just been leaning on a button that switches my microphone off. It's a very easy mistake to make. Well, it does. Well, you and I have both had the similarly stupid experience, stupid is on us, of those switches that are at the back of cupboards,

which if you hit them too hard with tins, they turn your whole kitchen off. Call the bloke out. Yep, we've both done that. Oh, God. We've both done that. Thank you for reminding me. That was one of the most mortifying visits by a tradesman I've ever had. No, it was fantastic.

It was just really, really good to know that I wasn't the only idiot to do it. Well, I have to say, so when they put the wire basket trays in, it is a hazard that I think a tradesperson should have foreseen, that if I whack the tray basket thing back too quickly, it does...

You turn off the whole oven. I think I switch most of East London off. Yeah. Some people have never forgiven you. Anyway, look, I'm going to keep this area clean, Eve, so that you don't have to call in an engineer. Right. Now, thank you for all your emails over the course of what was, in London,

an appalling bank holiday weekend. The sun never came out. Not once. Not once. And yesterday was a day of biblically bad weather that could only have meant a bank holiday Monday. I know it was lovely elsewhere in the country. I was getting lots of messages telling me just how lovely it was

in Liverpool, for example. But it wasn't in London, anyway. And I was meant to be going to Kew Gardens for a little ramble. You know when you get to my age, it's like to explore Kew Gardens. If you just drown out the planes for a couple of minutes, it's an absolutely lovely place to be. It's got some new sculptures there. Are you aware of this? Yeah. Anyway, I was going with a friend,

but she sent a message and said, do you think it's easing off? That's one of those, that is the ultimate British conversation about rain. Easing off. It's hope over experience, isn't it? And it wasn't easing off. No.

We didn't ease off all day. But I know you were on your jollies somewhere else, so you probably had a lovely time. Well, it was. We didn't go. We were only an hour and ten minutes out of London and it was really, really hot and sunny. Let's change the subject now.

We had both dinner outside on the Saturday night and breakfast outside on the Sunday morning. But as soon as we got in the car to come back to London, the heavens opened. Now, can I just share with you something really weird that happened in London town over the weekend before we headed out to countryside? So my daughter and I were sitting in a car,

we'd just parked in Islington, and there was a minor, really minor incident, a prang between two delivery drivers or another type of food delivery or whatever one was on a push bike and one was on a moped and anyway they had a tiny prang because one hadn't seen the other one pulling out and they collided with each other yes but nobody was seriously hurt and I don't think anybody actually came off a bike but immediately Jane they went into a fight like a massive great big fist fighting kicking punching I'm gonna kill you two men two men and it came over to our car so they were kind of flung across the bonnet and across our windscreen and and I've not really witnessed very much actual violence I think I've not really witnessed very much actual violence. I think I've been very, very lucky.

But it's so horrendously invasive when it happens. My daughter and I were just absolutely stunned into silence. You know, your heart rate goes up immediately, all the rest of it. My daughter was very funny and she's going to take the piss out of me for years to come because my contribution to trying to get the situation to stop was to bang on the windscreen and say stop it right now well done to be honest that's probably more than i'd have managed no so two other guys came along and separated them pulled them apart and all that kind of stuff and everybody eventually went on their own way but the only reason to really mention it, Jane, is just it immediately

went to massively aggressive violence. It was the kind of thing that if that had been your eye on a push bike and, you know, somebody had come along, whatever, I swear to God, we would just go, are you okay? You know, help the other person out, make sure they're all right. The absolute nanosecond it took to go to, I'm going to kill you. Other words were used, other threats were used. And even when they were pulled apart, they were both saying, I'm going to chase you down, you're dead. It was astonishing. Wow.

Really astonishing. And it is alarming and deeply unpleasant to witness, isn't it? Well, it is, and we were fine, so I'm not going to kind of over-egg our part in it. But I do wonder what other people's experience might have been of just that there's no there was no space in between from i'm just going about my business today to i'm going to absolutely knock seven bells out of you and then some and you do think as well thank god we don't live in a country with guns because if that's your immediate reaction

that you want to really really hurt somebody over something trivial. So I just put that out there. I'm not really looking for solutions. And I suppose, am I fishing around to say, is it a very male thing to just go straight into that level of violence? But women fight too. They do. And I said last week, I think it was last week, that I've only ever witnessed fights between women.

And I mean it. And have they been proper? It's not very pleasant to witness. I've only ever witnessed fights between women. And have they been proper? It's not very pleasant to witness. It doesn't actually matter whether they're male or female, I don't think. I've heard ding-dongs between heterosexual couples. I mean, I've been part of those. And they can sometimes be nasty.

But I've never witnessed a physical fight between two blokes. I've got to be totally honest. I haven't. And I wouldn't have liked it any more than you did. So, it's alarming, and as we know in this country we don't have guns, thank God. But we do have knives, and we've got a massive problem. We have a huge problem. Some really, I mean, particularly

over the last week or so, some diabolical incidents, which for various complicated well, not complicated legal reasons, charges brought and arrested, but very young lives lost, and it's absolutely terrible. Well, let us know what you think about that. Jane and Flea at Times.Radio.

Thanks for all the emails we've had. I mean, it's hard to say whether people enjoyed Asma Mir more than Neil Ferguson or the other way around. What would you say? I would say that there was an absolute, you know, a Nat's chuff between them. Yes. Not really.

So people really love Tearing from Azamir. And I'll tell you what, I think you said this in the podcast before, she's a really, really terrific broadcaster, but boy, can she write as well. So the article that had led us to have that conversation about dating, whether or not you would ever want to do it again, you know do go and find it because it's so beautifully it's lovely and and it's about that very specific thing isn't it which is just about um the the fear of returning to

something that once was really exciting but when you grow up and you have an experience of love going wrong it becomes anything anything but. It's really weird. Well, we've had some emails about dating, haven't we, actually? Briefly, this is from... We don't need to mention the name here, but I was interested to hear you talk about dating on a pod. I'm 31 and I've never had a long-term partner. With all my friends getting married and making babies,

I have been trying to give the apps a go. I don't want kids, but a companion would be good. The apps are horrendous, and this is this correspondence experience, we should say. Men are so extremely low effort, though this could be a specifically Australian trait, she says. I find myself asking so many questions and getting nothing back. So many men say they want women who don't take themselves too seriously.

But what does that mean? I do hate to be a woman ranting about men. I know there are good ones. I know lots of them. If any listeners have any tips on navigating this landscape of self-involved and self-interested men, then I am all ears. Also, regarding a recent guest you had, I thought you might enjoy the specifically Australian insult of Mole. It works a charm, covers all bases and describes him perfectly. Right, thank you to our correspondent there and if you have any advice she would be very grateful. She happens to be in Australia where men, would you say the Australian

male's reputation was? Poor? Poor, just poor. Okay, well there's the fellow who had Skippy who I remember being very nice the cardinal and i thought no he wasn't any good wasn't he this is a heartening one from jane who says i listened to your interview with asma in which you talked about the pros and cons of dating later in life and my other half and i want to tell you about our experience we're both in our 60s we live at opposite ends and sides of the country and we're having a whale of a time. I thought this was great and really heartening, genuinely, this. Although they didn't meet on a dating app. No, I don't think they did. IRL.

We've both been very happily married, but ended up caring for our spouses in difficult circumstances and both spent many years unable to live our lives as we wanted to. We met by accident, but quickly discovered we had the same interests, enjoyed the same things and could talk for hours about almost any subject under the sun. We have a seven-hour drive between us, but we talk by video every day and meet up on average every three weeks

just to have fun. Sometimes I drive to him, sometimes he drives to me, and sometimes we meet in the middle. But we always have an adventure planned. Hello, T-Babe. People have asked if or when we're planning to move closer to each other or even we meet in the middle but we always have an adventure planned uh hello t-bay people have asked if or when we're planning to move closer to each other or even in together but we both love this relationship as it is he's got his own life i have mine we have our own friends and enjoy ourselves just as much when we're apart as we do when we're together and see no reason to change

anything in fact by living as we do every time time we meet, it feels new, fun and interesting. What I'd love people to realise is that dating doesn't have to move forwards to an end goal. Life with someone else can be just for fun. And I agree, Jane Susan Garvey. I think that's just so heartening. And it is that thing that when you get to our age, you can choose to do it differently.

You don't have to be on the same path you don't have to introduce your entire family you don't have to get a wedding list and you don't have to you're right as our correspondent says you don't have to have an end goal it can just be that I want to thank Tracey for this new way

of heckling an irritating individual in your life. Could be female, might well be male. How about this, says Tracey? It's an excellent Scottish riposte. May your next shite be a hedgehog. That I do. Excellent. Take note. And I just want to shout out to Susan, who's been going through some very old editions of our previous podcast incarnation. She just wants everyone to know that she's really glad she isn't alone in thinking right from the age of 13 that Sandy, Olivia Newton-John, looked so much nicer before she transformed herself into the horror at the finale of that film, where she wows the dim-witted Danny where they drive off into the sunset. Odd how we evolve, she says.

Well, actually, Susan, you've stuck to your belief at the age of 13 that Olivia looked better before. Sandy, wasn't it? Yeah, Sandy in the film. And I just looked at that final bit of that stupid film and just thought, oh, I thought you looked all right before. Yeah. Oh, no no it's

dreadful it's so dreadful so my kids i thought you know would this was years ago i thought we'd have a lovely you know family movie session sit down and watch greece which i'd loved at the time had never returned to it and they were just like you've got to be kidding me that you think this is good it's a dreadful message she takes up smoking she dresses like a whatever well we know what she dresses like free and that line tell me about it stud yeah did she put up a fight oh god yeah all of it all of it uh does not stand the test of time and i think was such a pervasive influence on our generation. It was. And actually there's another email, isn't there, about Pretty Woman

about how... Yeah, actually it's the same email. This correspondent says, Susan says, you also mentioned Pretty Woman that gave me the creeps as well. It didn't then to me though because I was awed by the five star hotel but it definitely does now. Yeah, there was that astonishing hotel and those

of us who'd only ever stayed in and i don't mean this you know i've never been in a five-star hotel but i did see one in pretty woman and it did look nice yeah yeah i think the only thing that you can take from pretty woman it's got a very good message about flossing hasn't it but apart from that i think it's pointless i know it's really weird it's really weird. It's really weird. And that notion, you know, that kind of glamorous life of a sex worker. I mean, do me a favour. No, it's just terrible, isn't it? It's terrible.

I don't think they'd make it now. No, I would hope not. It was Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. I mean, Julia Roberts is... No, she wouldn't make that now. Well, she wouldn't. No, go near it. No.

How interesting would it be to be able to have a proper conversation with Julia Roberts? Sit down and watch Pretty Woman with her. Yeah, and what she thinks of it now. Because it must be very difficult for actors and directors and writers who've got something in their canon of work that hasn't aged particularly well. I mean, there are far worse examples than that,

but I dare say she's a clever woman, isn't she, and invests her time in really good stuff. She seems to, yeah. I don't know for you. It's only you and I who are perfect. We are so far from perfect. No blemish. No blemish at all.

So far. No stains on our record. Would you like just a quick Swift update? Well, I am loving the correspondence about birds. Yeah, it's good, isn't it? Because this is just healthy, it's invigorating, there's no smut. It's just a celebration of the natural world. Bring it on. Swifts and other birdies comes from Margaret.

The banded godwit migrates nearly 12,000 kilometres from Alaska to Christchurch, New Zealand, every September, flying non-stop for eight days. The cathedral bells are rung when the first bird arrives. That's fabulous. Isn't that glorious? And just to let you know, I'll be interrupting my circumnavigation of the globe, taking a side

trip to Sheffield. Well done, Margaret, to see your special show. And this is what her itinerary looks like now. Christchurch, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, London, Sheffield, London, Singapore and home. That's absolutely where you want to be. I've absolutely no other

reason to go to Sheffield. Oh my God, the pressure! But I'm looking forward to it very much indeed. Kind regards, Margaret. Margaret, you've got to come and say hello. Just come over and use the code word BANDEDGODWIT and we'll have a very nice chat together. We are in Sheffield on May the 31st. May the 31st.

Appearing at? Crossed Wires, the podcast festival. Some cracking other acts, but don't bother with them. Come and see us on the Friday evening. Starts at? Somewhere after the 7 o'clock I think it's perilously close to 7.30 7.15

I think it's 7.15 and the venue the venue the venue is the Crucible where they've just done the snooker they have yeah and I couldn't watch

because it made me nervous about going to Crossed Wires okay and also because I think snooker's really boring but I know it has lots of fans and I don't want to knock them because I'm in love with everybody.

Carry on, Fi. Back to Swifts. Well, this one is from Maria and it is joyful but also sad too. I share Fi's excitement at the arrival of the Swifts. We've had them nesting in our eaves for many years with occasional misses and one disaster when one of our cats, Daisy, a. satan spawn of satan spawn of satan dinner time managed to climb the loft ladder and kill one of the parents they usually arrive in the first week of way of may around my husband's birthday and it is truly joyous to see their

return but this year is more bittersweet because my husband died of cancer a few weeks ago. I think there may be tears of sorrow as well as joy when I spot them. Maria, we send you our very best and we hope you're doing okay. And it's a strange thing, nature, isn't it? Because I think the turning of the seasons and those little things that you associate with somebody because they come round every year, it's both poignant sometimes I think it's really wonderful but it jogs you it will always jog you but I suppose in a sense you know you you need to be jogged will want to be jogged and uh you know I hope that it does just as you

say uh provide a little bit of joy along the way and but mostly Jane I hope you're doing all right yeah we really do. And thank you for that. It's a very, very sweet email. But I don't mean that in a dismissive way at all because I'm completely with Fi. And I imagine this next couple of years are going to be tough with all those sorts of memories

coming back to you as the years jog on. But without him. So lots of love to you. And we're so grateful to you for taking an interest in the podcast. Karina wants to know how things are going with my Alexa. Well... Oh, my God.

Do you know what? I sometimes find myself thinking of you and the Alexa when I'm just shouting randomly at the speaker in our kitchen. I do think, maybe Jane's trapped in her house. Alexa's shut down. How will we get to her? What will happen by the way I lied there

she isn't actually interested in how I'm getting on with the election it's just my slick podcast way of moving on to her email oh okay but how is the Alexa I just had to be honest I always used to get told off as a kid for making things up you just can't do it can you you shouldn't

but before you get to the email how is Alexa it's got slight I don't trust her to do the alarm You just can't do it, can you? You shouldn't. No, you shouldn't. But before you get to the email, how is Alexa? It's got slight... I don't trust her to do the alarm. Oh, good God, no. No. But she offers it as a service. And when you go on the app, it says... It really depressed the life out of me.

It said, I can say to you at nine o'clock, it's time to go to bed. And I thought, well, even I'm not going to bed at nine o'clock. It's going to be something when you've, you know, it's just depressing. So you can programme Alexa to just randomly just shout out time for bed. Jane! Wow. But anyway, like Karina, I like manners.

So I don't shout at Alexa, nor would I. She says, I'm not sure if this is genius or geriatric, so I thought I'd get your thoughts. I can't help but say please when asking Alexa a question and thank you when she replies. This has got me thinking are we teaching children to think it's okay to bark orders without the manners my mother drilled into me? Should there be optional parental stroke petulant control that withholds any commands until the magic words are spoken. I'm such a stickler for politeness

that my niece genuinely thought my name was Manners, and I'm OK with that. Right. I remember on Woman's Hour doing a very... Actually, I now realise, a rather sensible item about why it was that all these devices are female and why well it's because uh women are the servants we are compliant we are people to whom other people are quite happy giving orders but can't you program it to have a different voice that's a

that's a good question and i don't know and i wish because i would like to have a burn it or something like that and then i would actually have no qualms at all about shouting at it. But I'm quite polite to mine. That's very interesting because you can programme your sat-nav to have any different voice, can't you? Yeah, I really want that gig. Yeah, well, you can record as a celebrity. Well, I could do my own.

Because for a while we were misguided around France by Joanna Lumley. I'm pretty sure of it. Yeah, she wasn't very good. That's why we kept on ending up in the disused wartime airfield instead of the Dordogne airport from which we were trying to leave. Was it the real Joanna Lumley? Well, I'm pretty sure it was Joanna... Or AI Lumley?

No, am I getting this right? It was definitely a very, very famous female actress. Maybe I just wished it was Joanna, but it was a recognisable famous female actress maybe i just wished it was jenna but it was a recognizable voice and recognizable voices are available but eventually we did settle on uh fiona uh the new zealand woman not because she was called fiona just because it was a lovely accent to be directed around would you like to bring us a flavor of that now no i'm very good i'm i'm very more like theotswoman, made several appearances last week. I feel that I'm on safer ground because I can claim my Scottish roots, but I don't want to offend the whole of New Zealand. I mean, I've not ruled it out as a place of retirement.

Oh, haven't you? Well, I mean, I'm slightly going off it because Noel Edmonds has got there first. And we're sorry about that, actually. Can we just say really sorry about that? Sorry, New Zealand? Yes. What's wrong with Noel? You'll have to remind me what he's done. first and we're sorry about that actually can we just say really sorry sorry new zealand yes what's wrong with noel well you have to remind me what he's done oh no i don't think he's gone down terribly well in all parts of new zealand okay right no because i think there's he's taken you know crinkly bottom with him and sometimes you know that that should just that should be in the box pretty woman what about the merry band of chaos always created by Mr Blobby?

I think Mr Blobby's emerged in New Zealand too. But that's also where all the techies are going to see out the apocalypse, isn't it? Because they've all got land there and bunkers. Yes. Did you read the unbelievable story from NASA this weekend? How could I have missed this? Oh, OK. Well, hopefully we'll cover it in the actual Times Radio show this

week. When's the show on, Jane? What show? Oh! Sorry. It's on at three o'clock this afternoon, Fi. Three till five. That's better. Sorry. I was really enjoying myself. I was genuinely interested in what you

had to say. Bring it on! Okay, right. It's been a long back holiday weekend for Jane. Just me and the Alexa. Where am I? You're at work, love. So NASA released a story this weekend saying that pathogens that are resistant

to any kind of human intervention have been found in the space station. What do you mean? Sorry. New pathogens that have developed beyond our capacity to actually take them apart on this planet. What is a pathogen? I don't know. That's why we need to do it as a story.

Okay. But it was implying, Jane, that these things might come back down to this planet. Carried by people who've been on the eye. Yes, or just bits and pieces that come from the International Space Station that go beyond our understanding of disease and stuff. Yes, I know, I know.

Is it worth it? I mean, we're going to a function tonight uh or is it is it worth it you just go home i was just saying i mean i've got high-heeled shoes to wear and a pair of tights and i'm wearing control pants has this effort been a complete waste of time yes because we're just doomed well we're not gonna win that's for damn sure but no and we're doomed anyway okay win, that's for damn sure. And we're doomed anyway. Okay, God. It's normally me who brings these really depressing bits of information,

but we do need to know more. We do need to know more, and let's find out more. That's my catch-all. But it is stuff like that. You just think, you know, this should be bumping Liz Truss off the news agenda. Come on. Oh, leave my Liz alone. Oh, okay.

She's not to blame for everything. Can we just do one quick naked one before we head into the guest, who is... Ryan Tuberty. I've been practising this. I'm really not helpful today. Extra day off just does for me. Ryan Tuberty.

Thank you. Who is Virgin Radio's latest signing. Irish legend. Yep, big in the audio world over in the Ireland. This one comes from Vicky, who said, all of the talk of nudists reminded me of a story about my mum. I'm a scouser who left the pool for the mountains of Vancouver almost 11 years ago.

My parents first visited us within a year of us moving here, so we were still exploring the city and surrounding areas. I'd heard great things about the beautiful sunsets at Wreck Beach. So decided to head back. Which beach? Wreck. So as in a shipwreck. Oh, okay.

There was a 40-minute uneventful car journey to get there. On arrival, we found parking easily, all off to a great start. That was until I discovered that to get down to the beach, there were 490 steps. My mum is not the fittest and chooses to combine her lack of exercise with 20 cigarettes a day. After what felt like an hour, multiple stops and the full catalogue of scouse swear words, we reached the bottom of the beach.

My mum was spent and proclaimed she needed to rest on the last step. There she sat with her head in her hands gasping for air as I took in the sights to my horror. I discovered we'd arrived at Vancouver's premium nudist beach. And we were surrounded by naked men. Before I could say anything, my mum lifted her head only to be greeted exactly in her eyeline by a man bending down, presenting his bare bum to her. He was an elderly bloke and due to his stance,

I can confirm that, yes, they do hang low at that age. Needless to say, the sunset was not as expected. My mum seemed far more eager to climb the stairs as soon as possible It still makes me howl laughing now Well, Vicky, it's made us laugh too What a terrible thing to have lived through I hope your mum's alright

It's truly terrible And I'm sorry to have to say but that does remind me of another email that I've had from Moira. Thanks for this, Moira, because I didn't know this news. And there is a link. It's from Moira who says she met me in Budley a couple of months ago and talked to me briefly about Liverpool. And she said, I don't know whether you know about this unhappy news

from the Merseyside area, and it's that a broadcaster, a very famous guy called Wally Scott, has died. And he was a very well-known figure, Moira, and I didn't know and that's very sad news, so thank you for telling me. But Wally was best known as the sidekick of the absolute legend Billy Butler and together they did the world's best phone-in quiz on a Sunday morning which was called Hold Your Plum.

Oh, I love this. So there is a link. It was the Fruit Machine show and it was once heard, never forgotten. So Moira, that is sad news. Thank you for telling me, but Wally's genius, his radio genius, absolutely lives on.

So just explain what would happen on air in Hold My Plums. Hold Your Plums. Well, it was a general knowledge quiz with Fruit Machine sound effects. I mean, there's not much to it, but because you add in the scouse wit and all the personalities, Fee, and you've got an incredible show. I mean, the prizes were, you know, I don't think there were any prizes,

or if there were, they weren't worth anything. It was, you got to a stage where, obviously, playing the fruit machine game, you could hold your plums. Yeah. Do you see what I plums yeah do you see i do i do absolutely who was the local radio presenter who used to do the quiz uh what's in my hand tony that was tony butler that's a totally the butler family are responsible for much radio content i don't think they were related though okay there was also there's a fantastic radio

bristol uh competition was who's in the cupboard i don't know if it is i wouldn't get through the new political correctness i suspect what have i got in my hand probably wouldn't i know i don't think okay so who is our guest it's i think say the name again ryan shubrady well done voiceover describes what's happening on your iphone screen voiceover on settings so you can navigate it just by listening books contacts calendar double tap to open breakfast with from 10 to 11 and get on with your day. Accessibility. There's more to iPhone.

Brian Timberdy is one of Ireland's biggest media figures, presenting The Late Late Show for 14 years, interviewing Tony Blair, Russell Crowe, Hillary Clinton and Ed Sheeran, amongst hundreds of others. Very much the star of RTE. He had a wee bit of a ding-dong about how the station had obfuscated his salary. Ryan was not part of the decision to do that. And it led to a parting of the ways.

But RTE's loss has been Virgin Radio's gain. Oh, very good, Viv. Very delicate, I must say. Brilliant. I was watching that. Can you watch something with bated breath? Because that's what I was doing. Of course you can.

And you can find Ryan from 10am on the station. But if you're too tied to Matt Chorley, we're contractually obliged to say that. Do you know what? You can hear Ryan on his podcast, The Bookshelf 2. Right, I've covered everything. Well, you really have. What a beautifully put in.

I think the UN is calling you, lady. Aren't they? And the rest. I mean, there's a sidebar job there for you. Anyway, lovely to meet you both. Thank you for having me in your studio. Great pleasure. Yeah, thanks for having me.

Call me Bootross Bootross Glover now. Actually, it should be Bootross Bootross Garvey, shouldn't it? Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Move on. Bankey. Whatever. Anyway, as we are.

Yes, now let's talk about books. Can we talk about books? So we've been chucking this out to our listeners this afternoon as well because they are three very good categories of books. So just talk us through the shtick of the podcast. The shtick of the podcast is the guest comes, it's called the bookshelf so the guest comes on with three books from their bookshelf and the dream is if they bring

the actual books and often times they do because they're the ones that are beaten and loved and spoiled and yet appreciated and the three books come from one, the childhood that is the one that was read to them or that they read to their own kids. Two, the books that changed their life. And three, the book that made them cry.

The podcast then ends with the final question is, what is the name of the autobiography you haven't written yet? Which also throws up quite interesting responses. So we've had four so far, four guests so far. There's another eight in the series. And that is my first foray into that world formally.

And I've loved it. That's my thing is books. Yes. So you are a bookworm, aren't you? So you must have well rehearsed the answer to all of those questions. As in my own thoughts on these things. So what are they? Well, I'm loathe to tell you, but I will, of course,

because it says it can say more about me than maybe any answer i give to any other question but here we are the the first the childhood book is roald dahl's george's marvelous medicine and i say that because i always felt roald dahl as a kid understood what it was like to be a child then when i became an adult so-called that you understood then that well i felt he understood that children were beautiful and innocent and kind and unfettered by the shackles of growing up and adults were just angular and and irritating and pointy and demanding and I think he's right and and I think that those books capture a lot of the darkness of childhood as well and yeah so I went with George's Marvelous as really as an example of his writing. Will I keep going?

Yes please do. Then for the book that made me cry, and I'm not really a big crier, to be honest with you, especially at books, but the one that did make me cry close to it, it was Ishiguro Never Let Me Go, which I just thought was just the most beautiful. I like near-future dystopia,

like the film Civil War at the moment or things like that. So I just thought that was a gorgeous book. It felt like almost Ina Blyton meets Margaret Atwood, if you can have such a thing. It stayed with me, got under my skin and I've loved it ever since. The book that changed my life, I don't know if this will

resonate with anyone listening here today, but there was a book years ago called The Chronicle of the 20th Century. This was like a telephone book-sized book. There's nothing shaking here. So if you saw a picture of it, you might go, oh, yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. And it was a book that covered the 20th century from 1900 up until when I was young,

which was about 1987 or 8 or something like that. And every year is written and treated like a newspaper. So it wasn't just a history book. So you'd have World War I, World War II, obviously, in Vietnam. But then you'd have The Beatles in Sinatra and Elvis Presley, which is all these things that became my interest in life. Sounds a really good book, though. What I've always felt is accessibility to everything.

So reading is one of the most democratic things you can have in a society because the libraries, they're free. So you can get access to books and then DVDs if you still have one, this kind of thing, and the freedom of it, even warmth for some people, latterly. And so that's why I love all that. And this book is accessible history, and I think good history teachers allow for that.

And did you read it chronologically? No, no, no, no. You picked out the bits. Like I say, it's a telephone book. So you'd go in and say, you'd hear somebody would say, well, that happened in 1963. And you go, oh, He picked out the bits. Like I say, it's a telephone book. So you'd go in and say, you'd hear somebody would say, well, that happened in 1963. And you go, oh, right, quick,

let's go into 63 and it's Kennedy's assassination or it's the Profumo affair or, you know, it's Margaret Thatcher then into the 80s. So you're bouncing on. If you remember the programme,

The Rock and Roll Years, where they had the black and white. Yeah. And they had, it was just, there was no one presenting it, which would be bad news for us, but it just was black and white archive, beautiful archive,

and just text underneath. And just subtitles. Remember that? And then the music would come out of your dusty Springfield. Didn't they bring that back? Oh, they should. Yeah, there is a version of that. There isn't a...

A version in Ireland called Reeling in the Ears. Yeah. And it is one of the most popular programmes you will ever see broadcast on national television because they keep playing it, you know, for filler and bank holidays and so on and it keeps topping the polls because they love it. So the BBC Too Late at Night

is still doing exactly that kind of anthology without the presenter. No, it's all right. I mean, who cares? Well, I mean... We don't have to care anymore. Wonderful.

We're not there now. Shall we talk about that? No, no, let's not. No, so you see where I'm coming from. Yes, you have written books yourself and it's... Well, you've written about JFK. Yeah. Yes. So John F. Kennedy came And it's, well, you've written about JFK. Yeah.

Yes. So John F. Kennedy came to Ireland in 1963. He came in June 1963. And to be honest with you, the book is out of print, so I'm not flogging anything. But just to say, it was one of these books, there are stories that I always thought was so fascinating.

Because we were a country that had come out of, obviously, Civil War. We were neutral in World War II. We didn't have World War II. We had the emergency. It was called that nationally, obviously. And then we got into somebody like Sean LaMasse became our prime minister at Taoiseach. And suddenly the sun came out a little bit. And in America, you had a man whose family had left Irish shores in 1848.

So just in the middle of the famine, one of the Kennedys left there, went straight to Boston, and went from barman, you know, cooper to barman to politician to president. So within a few generations, the most powerful family in the world had come from a potato-blighted nation, the size of a postage stamp. And I always thought that was fascinating. So when he came back in 63, he landed on a very grey, drizzly June evening. And he came out of the sky. And it was like Oz landed in Kansas.

And our president was De Valera, so you had this civil warrior, if you like, Kennedy, cold warrior, arriving down, and the two meeting, and generations, and the famine circle closed, arguably, in that. Anyway, I thought it was very interesting. Yeah, and JFK described that visit as being, what was it, the best five days of his life?

He said something really un-American. He said, this is not the land of my origin, if you like, but it is the place for which I hold the most affection. So yeah, for some reason he came into it going, this should be a bit of a jolly, but actually then it became an emotional visceral. Yeah, I believe that. So how do you feel when you hear Joe Biden

make reference to his Irish ancestry in not such a, I mean, it just isn't that kind of close connection. It's a very different thing. But yet, if you take the Kennedy domino falling, now we can talk about all of the Kennedy stories and they're complicated, let's face it. But if the domino fall, watch it fall. So you have Bobby who didn't really care that much about the situation.

He died in 68, as you know. And then Ted was the interesting one because he never made president, clearly. But as a senator, he was really interested in the Irish story, sometimes in a misguided fashion, but ultimately he kept an eye on it. But actually, the one that people don't talk about is Jean Kennedy Smith. She was the ambassador. She was the ambassador. And she had a very gentle but very important

soft power, you could argue either, when Bill Clinton appointed her the American ambassador to Ireland. So when things were happening there, you know, it was very interesting because suddenly she had to help make decisions that we can talk about or not. But she became much more important than that title

would have suggested. But it all comes back to the Kennedy story. So, you know, arguably, and actually the current economic envoy for America to Ireland is the former Congressman Joe Kennedy, who's a young man in his 40s. So the story continues. Well, he'll run for president eventually. No question.

And the connection still bedazzles. Ryan, it's lovely to meet you. Thank you very much indeed for popping down. So the podcast is called The Bookshelf. With Ryan Tover, yeah. Yep, it is available now. Just one big name that you've got coming up and we'll list all the ones you've already had.

You could, well, I love Marion Keys. I think she's one of my favourite writers and she's a big enough name for it. You can't stop her talking though, can you? Well, listen. Actually, you probably could. Do you know what? It's in the blood and it's hard to,

I'll just say one thing about your listeners' choice of the song of Achilles, which came up a few minutes ago. That's the book that made them cry. I think that is an exquisite choice. Yes, it's a very good choice. James in London, he will thank you for that. I mean it.

Put that on your audio loop, James. All of the thoughts there from our colleague at the top of the tower, Ryan Tuberty. And don't forget, if you're a book lover, then Book Club will be announced uh probably next week so any thoughts of what we should be reading after the very well received a dutiful boy by mossin zaidi we would love your suggestions just a quick recap what's our criteria well a couple of people have suggested you are here now with that i'm sure that is great i'm so looking forward to reading it but it's top of the charts everyone's got a copy or they're

going to get a copy or they'll try and borrow a copy we don't want that no quite simply so our usp is just something a little bit uh more uh what would the right word be um just something a bit more eclectic something you've loved you think other people might like but might not necessarily have heard of or stumbled across doesn't have to be new certainly doesn't have to be by a man or a woman doesn't have to be British we would like fiction this time I think

yeah I think so just had non-fiction just something that you have just found yourself absolutely loving and wanting to share with others yep and also because it is summertime, we were thinking that maybe something that is a bit of a kind of

a lovely, pacey, galloping holiday read. Thrillery, maybe. Yes, maybe. Because we haven't done a real thriller, have we? We haven't done crime fiction. Well, you call an elderly lady is up to no good, maybe. Not really. Anyway, keep the

emails coming in. We've had some already. We need more, though. Jane and Fee at times.radio. And what was the other thing we needed to say? Oh, email special is coming on Friday. We'll record it on Thursday. It'll come out on Friday. We'll have to work, won't we, on Thursday to do it. It's just

exhausting. We will, but you've managed to abscond from the Friday morning extra session which is an interview in person with Elizabeth Hurley. Yes, but I'm on Avanti West. You're on Avanti West? I'm afraid Liz Hurley just doesn't, she can't repeat. No,

okay, well, it'll just be me and Liz. It'll be very much a meeting of minds and I'm looking forward to it. When Jane laughs there, she's laughing at me, not at the greatness that is Elizabeth Hartley. Absolutely not. I mean, she's made a film. She has made a film.

I'm going to be doing my very, very best not to be photographed with her. Please don't write in and say that you need to say that and all that kind of stuff. I just don't want to be. She's just... Okay, fair enough. Right, we'll bring you tomorrow

all the goss from behind the scenes at the Radio Industry Awards, won't we, Phoebe? Oh, my goodness, we so well. Jane and I are just trying to work out how we can fit in a little bite to eat before we get to the ceremony. What's the matter, Eve? Oh, yeah.

Oh, tomorrow, it's Martin Freeman and Tony Schumacher. Now, they are the writer, Tony Schumacher, and the star of The Responder. I've got to say, I know you've seen a couple of episodes of this series. I've only seen the first one. I think it was on the actual telly. I found it very depressing.

So depressing. Is it? Okay. No, I tried to watch episode two last night and I thought, actually, you know, it's a bank holiday weekend. Is it just too much? It's too much. It's because there's a baby in the storyline.

It's just like, I can't, no. I mean, I'm sure the baby will be fine, but it's just like, I can't watch this. There was a really, I mean, they do that thread thing of twisting, twisting, twisting so well, but I didn't want to partake of it. I think you've got to be in the right mood. And just very briefly, somebody did email to say,

what do we think of Reindeer Baby? Or is it Baby Reindeer? I don't know. It's Baby Reindeer. OK, well, I can say I've now given up on it, and I think you gave up on it too. Yep. So we tried, but didn't like. Nope.

That's it, then. My TV critic career, definitely over. Right, thank you very much. This has gone on for about an hour and a half, and I do apologise. Right. Stop! It's quite fun.

Eve, just take her batteries out. Go on, go for a rest. Bye. Well done for getting to the end of another episode of Off Air with Jane Garvey and Phi Glover. Our Times Radio producer is Rosie Cutler and the podcast executive producer is Henry Tribe. And don't forget, there is even more of us every afternoon on Times Radio. It's Monday to Thursday, three till five. You can pop us on when you're pottering around the house or heading out in the car on the school run. Or running a bank.

Thank you for joining us and we hope you can join us again on Off Air very soon. Don't be so silly. Running a bank? I know ladies don't do that. A lady listener. I'm sorry. Voice Over describes what's happening on your iphone screen voiceover on settings so you can navigate it just by listening books contacts calendar double tap to open breakfast with

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