Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ben Schwartz

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

Actor-comedian – star of ‘Parks and Rec’, ‘The Afterparty’ and voice of Sonic the Hedgehog – Ben Schwartz has a table booked this week. Plus we have a few guest callers.Ben Schwartz soon stars in ‘DNA’ and ‘Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice’.Ben’s improv show ‘Ben Schwartz and Friends’ is currently touring the US. For dates and tickets go to rejectedjokes.comFollow Ben on Instagram @rejectedjokesOff Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcastFollow Off Menu on Instagram and TikTok: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster.Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Video production by Megan McCarthy for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hi James. Have you heard the news? Oh, yeah, go on. You and I are modern boys, because the off-menu podcast is now on YouTube. This is embarrassing. Why is it embarrassing, man? You love YouTube. I love watching clips on YouTube, sure. Now people can watch clips of off-menu on YouTube, but it's embarrassing, man. It's not embarrassing at all. It's really cool. We're on YouTube with the great and good. The coolest people in the world are on YouTube. Me, you, Logan Paul.

Who's Logan Paul, the dad from Succession? At Off Menu podcast, that's what Benito's calling us now. And we're on TikTok. This is embarrassing, man. It's not embarrassing, man, we're cool. We're like Olivia Rodrigo. And Ed, people have been asking us, badgering us, bothering us, actually. They want to watch the Stephen Graham Supercut from the Stephen Graham episodes.

They can see all of his reactions to us, everything that he did. Or Benito has bent to their whims, and he's going to put it on YouTube. He's going to do it. Follow us at Off Menu official on TikTok at Off Menu Podcast on YouTube. Welcome to the Off Menu podcast taking the sweet cream of conversation, sprinkling over the sugar of friendship, and blow-torching it with the flame of humour. That was good That's a gamble

My name is James Acaster Together we own a dream restaurant And every single week We invite in a guest And we ask them their favourite ever Start of Maycourse dessert, side dish and drink Not in that order

And this week Our guest is Ben Schwartz Ben Schwartz A wonderful comedian actor He's been in so many things we love James Iconic Iconic Jean Ralphio

Of course in Parks and Rec Sonic the Hedgehog Anyone heard of Sonic the Hedgehog? Hello Are you living under a Rock. Also, really enjoyed him in After Party. Yes. Don't want to give too much away about that series, but he's very, very good series.

Series 1 of the After Party, co-starring with Jamie Dimitriu. Friend of the Pod. Friend of the Pod, who has been very eager for us to get Ben on. And look, we've always wanted Ben on. Yes. It's a joy we finally made it happen, but Jamie's like, you've got to get Ben on. He's so funny, he'd be so good, he really likes food. So we're very much looking forward to this one.

We know we're in good hands today, very excited. However, if Ben chooses a secret ingredient, an ingredient which we have deemed to be unacceptable, we will still kick him out of the dream restaurant. Yes. And this week, the secret ingredient is pork knuckles. Pork Knuckles, Knuckles, Sonic. Yeah, Knuckles is a character in the Sonic franchise.

Yes. And Ben is Sonic. What a day that must have been. Getting the Sonic job. Getting the call. You're Sonic the Hedgehog. Wow. Wow.

We'll never get that call. We'll never know how that feels. Well, they might reboot it. it again in the future and then I might not want to do it? They're not going to pick either of us, man. Come on. Look, I know you are Lars Pinfield,

but I don't think that it's a natural stepping stone. I think Lars Pinfield is a step. Look, when you think about how much for step forward, Lars Pinfield was from John the Mouse. That's true. Do you take an equal step forward from that? And John the Mouse from a guest role in Josh. Yes.

That was a big jump. I played a character whose name I can't even remember in the sitcom Josh in one episode. Then I was John. the mouse and Amazon Prime film. Yes. Then I was Lars Pinfield in the Ghostbusters franchise. I reckon it's

two more steps till I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. You're a franchise guy? I just do franchises. Yeah. Cinderella? Yeah. Josh? Yeah. Part of the Whittickham Cinematic Universe. It's a huge franchise, Josh Whittaker. Every he appears in.

It just expands the franchise. Ben Schwartz has been in a lot of stuff, though, and has a lot of projects coming up that we're very excited about. Yeah, we normally get like a really detailed sheet of stuff about one project. But with Ben, we've got three lines and it's three different projects. Yeah. DNA. Yes. A comedy that I think Ben created. Yes. With Sam Rockwell. Also, Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice. Yes. Which also features Vince Fawn, James Marsden. And also, of course, Ben Schwartz and Friends's improv show, which is touring US. And they've toured here quite recently. Yeah. And obviously, Ben is Sonic.

Yeah. I mean, how does this guy even fit in, guesting on podcasts with all these projects going on? Madness. I mean, he's really fast, I suppose, so he can just zoom around town. That helps massively. Yeah, yeah. Being able to zoom around town. In his special shoes. I'd like to zoom around town. Would you? Like Sonic. Like Sonic? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Would you like to zoom around town? I think so. I'd like to think I'd take a moment for myself now and again. Sonic can, though. You can slow down.

Yeah. He's not always zooming around town. Yeah. I don't want to be the flash. I know the flash can stop, but the flash tends to zoom around town all the time. Yeah, he's zooming because he's stressed, I think, a lot of the time. Very, very stressed.

But Sonic, maybe not as stressed. He's friends with a nice little fox and a pink hair jog as well. Can I tell you something that happened last night? Because I don't know if I'll get it into the conversation with Ben. Yeah. About 2 o'clock this morning, Charlie, my wife was sort of like tossing and turning around in the bed and it woke me up.

And then she was fast asleep, and we have an Alexa thing next to the bed. and she said in her sleep she said Alexa play fart sounds and that is something you can do yes my nephews have shown me that yeah and it went blue bloop

and started loading up and I went Charlie what are you doing and woke her up she went what I went you just asked Alexa something and she said yeah to play rain sounds because I find it relaxing I went that's not what you did and then as I said that it went and then

Alexa went, Dad was a wet one. So I'm like incapacitated with laughter. And Charlie's got no idea what's going on. It doesn't know what planet. She said, Alexa, stop. And Alexa went,

OK-dokey. Oake-dokey, you know what Lexus is. So there you go. I thought I'd get that off my chest quickly. That's brilliant. I love that. I'm a bit tired today because it was woken up by fart sounds in the middle of the nose. It's hard to get back to sleep after that.

So imagine you're constantly thinking about how funny it was. Is that how you're meant to get back? to bed. Well, there you go. And Alexa knew really that Charlie wanted rain sounds because he gave a wet one. Yeah, yeah, wet one. There you go.

It's as close to rain as I can get with the fart noises. Anyway, should we crack up with us? Yes. This is the off-menu menu of Ben Schwartz. Welcome, Ben, to the Dream Restaurant. Oh, I can't believe I'm here. Whoa!

Welcome Ben Choirs to the Dream Best one. We've been expecting you for some time. Oh, there's so much smoke in the room all of a sudden. Pretty cool, right? That's crazy. Yeah. How are you? Good.

What colors to smoke? The color is blue, of course. Yeah. I watched Aladdin when I was a kid, so of course it's going to be blue. And you're dressed, you have earrings on, but you're also very chic. English, chic, genie flavor is what I'm going to. Thank you very much. Of course.

Can you describe your outfit for me? Yes. Should you start with what's on your head, because I've never seen anybody wear a hat like that. Okay. Well, it's actually, uh, A tiara made of unicorn horns. I wasn't going to say anything. It looks like a Macbeth's, like, crown, but all unicorn horns.

Yeah, yeah. Ed killed them. Yes, I did. Oh, good for you. And harvested the horns for me to give me genie powers. What do you do with, do they just become horses? So you have a bunch of horses around? Yeah, well, they're dead.

So, I mean, their corpses, regardless. Could you bring them back to life? You being a genie? Yeah, yeah, I could have done, but I didn't wish for it. So they all just didn't happen. I used all my wishes. Do you ever, and listen, I haven't listened to enough episodes to understand. Do you ever use wishes for good, like go back in time and, like, save people's lives or anything, or no?

I mean, it's all food-based, really, so you'd have to sort of include a meal within the doing good. What about poisoning someone who's created a lot of harm for people? You can do that. Have you done that as a genie? No one's asked me. I would love to do it. You want to kill. You want destruction. I would love to go back in time and kill someone with poison. Got a lot of smoke, sorry. I mean, who would you, if you had that wish, if I was like... Oh, the big ones. I'd probably just hit off the big ones.

Yeah. I'll just probably hit off the big ones. Yeah. We're talking, uh... Who do you think? The Dolph? Sorry, you call him the Dolph? Well, sometimes. You're talking about Dolf Lundgren?

Would you go back in time to kill Rocky Fourstar Dauldf Lungren? Wow, this genie is fucked up. Can we curse? Are we like to curse? Yeah, yeah. Do you bleep it out? No, we'll leave it all in. People have to deal with it.

Unbelievable. Especially when we talk about killing Dolf Lundgren. Wow. This is the real deal. Yeah. Unbelievable, guys. We'll probably never get Dolph Lungungrin on the podcast now. Let's calm up.

I bet we can get him. Let's get him. I bet we can get him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be interested to hear what his app is, but his first appetizer is in his meal. Duff Lundgren's app. Have you got his number?

Yeah, let's call him real quick, all right? Call Dahl Dahl Dahl Lundgren. Ring ring, ring, ring. It's not, is that Delf's liquid. I can do any, do you guys know that I'm incredible an impression? You can do any impression. Name anybody. It can be English.

It can be anybody you want. Yeah, yeah. I will immediately after you say this. Jay. Jesse Jay, the singer. Yes. You want me to do Jesse the singer? Of course. Here we go. Pretend you're calling Jesse Jay. Bring, bring, bring, bring. Hello. Hello, Jesse Jay. Hey, how are you? I'm good.

Anybody else you want to hear or no? Weirdly, your impression of Jesse Jay was better than James's impression of a phone. I said bring, bring, bring, bring, bring, bring. This is from the 30s. Like on the wall where you have to like turn the little thing to make it work. Yeah. I get it. I'm a genie. You're a genie. All you know is old stuff. Well, thanks for coming down. I appreciate it.

Thank you for coming down. My God. This is very excited to have you on the podcast. I've heard of this podcast so many times from so many people I respect and love in comedy. So I'm very happy to see that the chemistry is unbelievable in this room. It's electric. It's absolutely electric.

You should see the genie's going bananas right. I am. I literally covered in bananas. Do you have a different name when you're a genie? Oh, good. Yeah, good question. No one has genuinely ever asked that. What should I call you?

You're a genie, so you're not yourself. Yeah. Well, I'm a bit like Rumpel's. Stiltskin in that if you guess my name then you have control over me, is that how it works? It's okay that you haven't read Ripple Stil skin, that's fine. I didn't never read it either. If he gets his name you

let you go is he trapped a woman and he's making a spin a wheel. Is this what the show is? He stamps on the floor, yeah? We tried remember we try and guess what happens in Rumpel Stil Skinskin. In different fairy tales, okay, what happens? Let's do three bears. Let's do three bears. Remember what happens in three bears? Remember what happens in

three bears? I'll send it up for you. You tell me what happens. Obviously, a woman goes This little girl goes in. It's not a woman. Sorry, you're right. It's not a woman. You're right. It's red riding hood goes in there and there's three bears.

Yeah. And then what happens? They all, hmm. One of them? Wow. Well, they're not there for a start. Oh, they're not there. That's smart.

That's what free me off. We should start by saying they're not there. They're not there. Which is a bold mood. A huge. She goes in there. She's breaking an entry. So have three of the main characters not be there.

But we're fine with saying it's red riding hood, right? We're going with that. I don't know if that's right. No, it's goldy looks. Is that true? Yeah, yeah. This is true. We don't know any...

We don't know anything? We must know one. Name one. What's the most popular? So, hold on, kids' story. The three bears aren't there, and red riderhood's not there. No, so basically we're in an empty house. This is like the movie Up without the old man.

It's just an old house. It's just hanging out. Even sadden. Yeah. The opening montage is very dull. Very dull. It's just blank. Different rooms.

Red riding hood is the one who goes to visit her grandma. Over the year. What are Red riding can do? Blah, blah. Goes to visit her grandma and a bit. So, it's a wolf. So grandma's not there. No, man, everybody's missing somebody in these things. Why, so his grandma is there because she's in the wolf's stomach?

A lot of fairy tales that include someone not being there. Yeah, we're being eaten. Anyway, Jeannie, lovely to meet you. Lovely to meet you. I can't wait. Thank you for using your powers today. Oh, we're very excited as well. You have a number of projects coming up, Ben, that we're dying to talk about.

Oh, wow. We're excited about all of them. I'm excited that you're doing, about this DNA project with Sam Rockwell. Okay. That's what I'm excited about. It's just announced. Just now. announced so it's the first announcement this is the well it's the second announcement one was two years

ago when i sold it to be wrote to write it kaching do you say kitching oh my god yeah and especially with like yeah please you know how much you get paid for writing not a not a high budget movie and then um it was me and sam and then we attached yorma who's amazing who probably's been on the show if not should be no we've got any lonely island guys or no we've had no lonely island And we'd love it. I'd probably geek out a bit too much about Lonely Island songs. So, probably best it doesn't happen.

James gets really geeky around some people. Really? Are you music people? Yes, I like music people. You didn't give a fuck about me, so it's like... Oh, listen, we're not into the end of the interview properly. You don't care. The amount of things we're holding back on now, but you have no idea.

It seems like nothing. You have to look at a piece of paper. We told our friend Nish yesterday. Is he's a comedian? Who? Nish Kumar. But, like, we told him you were coming on. Yeah, friend of the show, absolutely.

And then we spent the show. like about half an hour, just doing John Ralfi quotes at each other. Oh, that's exciting. So, you know, believe me, we're holding back a lot on geekdom at the minute. Okay, I can't wait. I can't wait for you to explode. Yeah, yeah. If Nish was here, he would be, we can call them up.

I don't know why we'd be threatening to call people. I don't think we've ever been on a podcast where we call people. I'm happily call Nish. We're bringing back pranks. Oh, wow. Is this like the, what was it called? Not the farty boys. What was it called the jerky boys? Did you guys have that? Maybe it was too, I'm too old. We have the farty boys.

How old are you guys? You're younger than me by years. 39? 39. Okay, we're close. You're younger than that. 38? Yeah.

When's your birthday? Let me guess. I do not know either. All right, Ben, I don't know yours. I will guess all three your birthdays separately. Okay. This is a special skill that I do. Yes, yes.

Okay. Is it like the impressions? It's just like my impression. Then it'll be perfect. April 13th. Not far off. What is it? That's correct.

That means I'm within two and a half weeks. Okay. If I get within two and a half weeks, that's unbelievable, Ben. That's the rule. It's crazy you didn't even react. You guys are too British. That's unbelievable. Believe me.

He doesn't react to anything this guy. That's unbelievable. That's true. That's right. Okay. Give me a second. Yeah. Ben doesn't react to anything.

Don't ever take it personally with him. We've been doing this podcast for a long time. He just sits there like he's not coining it in. God. You laughed at the genie part. You laugh every time of the genie part? No, he hates the genie part. I always hear him mutt run his breath going predictable.

July 6th. January 9th. Oh. Jay. You got the Jay. September 10th. No. October 4th.

But hang on, you got the number right. I think in your head you saw for me, it begins with Jay, and you saw the number nine and you flipped upside down. And I was trying to think, I was trying to January 6th are the big thing that happened in America and D.C. I was like, you're definitely born around that time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. On that day. You're the 10th, but it's not of that. Yeah. February 10th. No, much. You're so close, though. To get the 10th straight off.

Is this what the podcast is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's 100% what the podcast is. I love this. I love this. I love how your, You're initiating these games, and then you ask us, is this what the podcast is? We've got two more projects to talk about.

Yeah, sorry. Oh, sorry, DNA. So we just attached Yorma and we're eking towards a green light, which is very exciting. And I'm not allowed to say what it's about yet. It's under wraps. The plot is under wraps. That's cool. But I wrote it.

I've written many drafts of it. The first draft was written years ago for a searchlight. And then we attached party over here, which is Yorma, Andy, and Akiva. and then we attached Jorma as director and now we're fixing the script up to hopefully shoot with me and Sam Rockwell. Who's won an Oscar? And he's doing an Oscar for free billboards.

Oh, yeah. He was the... Here we go. He was great in Green Mile. Remember when I first saw him? But he was in Teenage Mutger Turtles. The original Teenage Mutual Ninja Turtles is lead thug.

Now I'm interested. You've got to see a picture of him. He's amazing. Thug in that? He's wearing a white t-shirt and he has like cigarettes underneath his white shirt. He's like a kid in it. The coolest thing.

God. Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice. Does the name Vince Vaughan mean anything to you? A little bit. Did a little roll in that. Small a roll in that. We just wrapped that. That was very fun.

There's a very, Ben David, who directed it, did Scott Pilgrim, the animated series and is a genius. And he called me and he had this really fun role, and he pitched it to me and showed me with storyboards. And it was so cool. I was like,

got to do it. So I did that. That was really fun. James Marson is in that, who's also in Sonic, one, two, and three. Did you, is this your first time meeting James Marsden face to face? Because in Sonic, your cartoons.

That's true. This is, I met him during publicity, but you're right. Must be weird. It is weird. On set in Sonic, just sort of painted blue, walking around doing the voice. Yeah, that's what I'm just hanging out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't smoke cigarettes, but I imagine I'm smoking cigarettes.

Smoking cigarettes being like, all right, another one. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that could be me. Do you think you could, if you had to be Sonic in real life, you could do it? Tell me what that means. Take me through what that means, and I'll tell you yes or no. Run really fast, running to all the coins, run upside down. Rings, coins is Mario, keep going.

Anything else you want to shit on? Getting hit and dropping rings everywhere. There you go, that's good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Picking up my barrel and throwing it like Donkey Kong. Yeah. And you have to defeat Robotnik at the end, and Robotnik is Jim Carrey.

So could you beat him in a fight? In real life, no. Jim Carrey, I think, can absolutely destroy me 100%. You ever see Truman Show? Yeah, he can do anything. Yeah. In Truman Show, does he beat someone up in Truman Show? No, he probably gets beaten up.

He gets his ass handed to him a lot. He does, by weather and by people. Yeah, Ed Harris is pretty main to it much. Yeah, and it wears very small glasses. Do you remember how small his glasses were? Tony glasses. Yeah, two little monocles tied together. Great movie, though.

That was one of the, him and Robin Williams, you guys are both comedians. Him and Robin Williams doing drama was such a big deal for me to see because growing up, I'd never seen a comedian do drama before. And then I saw Robin Williams do it, and I saw Jim Carrey do it. I was like, oh, we're allowed to do both. And it was a huge eye opener. And so that in Eternal Sunshine was huge to see as a kid. I spoke to David Cross recently on his podcast.

And he would not, I kept saying to him, how often a week do you think to yourself I was in Eternal Sunshine? And he's like, never. Oh, really? And I was like, come on. It has to be all the time. Come on. I would think it all the time.

All the time. Now, I'm trying to quote one of his lines to him, I am building a birdhouse. Very good. And we wouldn't have any of that. No. He didn't. He didn't understand.

He wasn't biting. No, he didn't want to play with you. I get it. We haven't tried to guess your birthday. Women try to guess my birthday? We haven't... Women, do? Do women try and guess your birthday?

Do you want to try? This is, I think you guys can get it. Yeah. I'll zap it to you. This is the thing you didn't give to me. I will zap it to your head. I was zapping, man. You were not.

You were zapping the number. Yeah, yeah. Zapp it into my head. I'm really doing it. Okay. It's in your head. I can see it. Just say the first thing you're thinking of.

September? This is unbelievable. Is it September? Keep going. I'm not going to say, are you done. Are you fucking with me? It doesn't matter.

Keep going. just whatever you feel. The 15th. Google it. Benito, Google it. 15th of September. No, you are kidding me. You must have looked it up before.

Yeah, I looked up. Yeah, I saw it. But when I said, you call him this, he was looking at it. Yeah, yeah. I left just enough time. I thought you were just on Twitter for some reason. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know where the genie just goes on Twitter for no reason. I'd put a little mark, a little sticker on in my head going like, be horrible to James afterwards and really take him to task for going on his phone during the podcast, because he's never, he's never done that. before. I couldn't believe it. Really? It was really rude. I was like, oh, I guess everybody's chill. Everybody's chill here. It must have felt like a sort of cool American like bro podcast where they're all in their Yeah, yeah. It feels like, yeah, I'm sure their podcasts are based on their phones, right?

But I thought, I'll look at Ben's birthday. You did that so well. You delivered that so well. Then later on all, I'll bring it up. But I thought I'd do it now because I didn't want the whole podcast for you to be sitting there going, I fucking comes on his phone. Yeah, sure. I'm happy to. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. Even though it gave us that moment, I still don't like it. Of course not. Would you take it back in an instant? Of course. Oh, wow. Live and die about the sword. It's worth it for me. Would one of your genie wishes to be go back in time to stop him doing that?

He's one of my three wishes to make you never look at your phone. Poison. Yeah. A food-based poisoning. Are you much for food, Ben? I am. I love food. So the three of us tour comedically.

And I do a improv show called Ben Schwartz and Friends and I tour a liver. I came here a couple times. And one of the things I do is I bring three improvisers with me. And I try to go to a fancy and beautiful restaurant in every city we go to. So I have a Google Doc of all the restaurants I've been to, rating them, my favorite dishes there, and if we love it, we go back. If not, we explore. So I love food, but it's more of like a new thing.

I didn't really have money before to eat the type of meals that we're eating now. And now when we're on tour, I just feel like it's like, I want to show those guys how much I appreciate they're coming out. And so we go out fancy whenever we go on tour. What are the other improvisers who, like, out of all your improv friends that you bring out with you, who's the biggest foodie? You're like, this person's going to love this tour restaurant. It's almost different because the people who love it the most are the people who aren't foodies.

So, like, we went to a restaurant in Toronto, Maddie Matheson, who you should have, who's a chef and hilarious on the bear, he has a restaurant in Toronto. He has many. He has like 20,000 restaurants, but he has one called Prime Seafood Palace. And one of the dishes was, I believe, ice cream with caviar on it. And, like, anytime we go to a place that has, like, something that none of us has tasted before, that's when it's the most exciting. It's almost more exciting when someone never goes out like that. Then we have the most fun ever, because we're tasting things we've never. But also, if you're all improvisers, you can't turn anything down, can you?

No, we have to you said, no matter what. That's right. We can't turn down an idea. Like, Moulton Sparlock. Mattie Madsen's in the back, just being like, put fucking caviar and ice cream. Say, I'll eat that. Yeah, literally, we have to say yes. That's a great line.

You're absolutely correct. We'll eat anything. But it's been one of the most fun things. And because you talk to people, it's like, you know, a bunch of comedy people talking and, like, becoming friends, and it's just great. Prime Seafood is a restaurant. I've not been to, I've never been to Toronto, but it's one of the restaurants I follow on Instagram and just look at the pictures.

Is that true? Yeah, yeah. What other restaurants do you follow? I mean, a lot of Matty Madison stuff, actually. His burger, his burger place as well. Sure. Sure. You got to get him on the show.

Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, he's on the list. He's on the list. Let's get him. Get him on the phone. Get him on the phone. Bring, bring, bring, bring.

Bring, bring. Hello, it's Charlie. Is it always Charlie X X. Oh, no, Jesse J. Sorry. I thought, I'm all the XEX. That's Charlie XXX now. That was Charlie.

You could tell a difference, right? Yeah. We always start with still a sparkling water. Still. Can't do sparkling. Abbles, acid refluck, bubbles up my stomach, makes me feel full before I'm full. Oh, no.

Same with not drinking too much when I eat a real meal. I will only have like one or two beverages and usually save it for the end. Save the beverages for the end. Yeah, because it'll fill me up and then I'm full. By the way, can we talk about a tasting menu thing? Have you guys... I love the idea of a tasting menu,

but it gets me so full by the end that the experience is sometimes ruined because I'm so uncomfortable going home. Is that true, false? Do we agree? Absolutely. I don't get full, really. Really?

Yeah, if I'm honest. I can see you as one of those people can just eat everything. Oh, God, yeah. Plow through it, yeah. What do you eat for breakfast this morning? I didn't have breakfast, actually. Wow, really playing the game well.

I can eat anything. Do you breakfasts? I don't know we were doing improv. I thought we were having an honest show. No, we are having an honest show. You can never tell with these guys. Do you fast? Do you fast or certain time?

Not deliberately, no. I just think, because it's an early morning record, so I wanted to sleep as long as possible before I came. Oh, that's smart. Yeah, yeah. So you're just going to absolutely eat something right now. Yeah, yeah. James is making his own jokes, laughing at his own jokes.

I'm looking at Ben because I'm trying to get reactions out of him after it was like established that you can't get a reaction out of it. Ben is laughing all the time. So I deliberately did a bad joke and looked at Ben and said that you eat for us. You ever get Ben a microphone or no, you never get Ben a microphone. He doesn't want to talk on it ever. He's very reluctant to talk. He doesn't like it when producers talk on podcasts, which is fair enough.

Oh, I understand that. Do you want to say, you want to say someone about it? And actually a lot of people. The microphone is now in Ben's face. he absolutely hates it. Still water, please. Still water. I found out recently my dad,

so I went out for breakfast from my dad yesterday. Okay. Some of what was brought over to the table. I poured my dad a glass. He went, no, no, no, no, thank you. I don't, I don't drink water. I didn't know this about him.

And he went, he said, whenever I have to drink it, I hold my nose. Wait, how do you go your whole life without knowing that about your dad? Well, I didn't know that he doesn't like that. That cannot be the first time your dad has refused water in the 40 years. So you're going back through all your memories,

and going, have I ever seen him drink water? But, like, this is, this is too big. This is too big for you to gloss over. Your entire, you said you're 39, 38, 38, 39. 39 years old, you were, is this the father that raised you and everything? Yeah. Okay, so you've been around the table a hundred times, you've been to a thousand restaurants. Yeah, yeah. You've never seen your dad hold

his nose and drink water and been like, hey, pop. No. Really? No, I'll never say my part. I think if you, I think if you'd met James's dad, this wouldn't seem as big. Get him on the phone. We've got to get him on the phone. Bring, bring, bring. Bring, bring. Hello? Hi, Dad. Hey, it's Katie Perry.

Just a lot of pop icons are gone. But, like, I remember once he was like trying to lose some weight, and he was like, I'm not drinking water because it's a con. It's a con. He says it's a con. Your body just retains it all. You're put on too much weight. I'm not drinking water.

I remember that happening. Wait, so what does he drink? So if he's not drinking water, how is he keeping himself hydrated? Hot chocolate. I mean, definitely, he'll be drinking hot chocolate. Really? And, like, he'll be drinking a whole bunch of. stuff that puts on way more weight than water does.

This is so funny. He'll drink tea, which is water, just hot water. Yeah, he would drink coffees. Don't tell him it's just hot water. He ordered an orange juice at the breakfast. Okay. And here's how he ordered it. He said to the waitress,

there's absolutely no rush on this, but I'd love an orange juice in the next five minutes. So he had an orange juice. He had a coffee. Didn't hold his nose for either. Didn't hold his nose if you loved him. Yeah, yeah. But it has no smell.

Water has no smell. I don't understand whether you're usually. do that when something smells so you don't want to taste the smell. Yeah, he hates it. Or, yeah, maybe it goes up his, maybe it sort of comes out the back of his mouth and down his nose, like you're swimming. Could you get in one of those, could you get in one of those things? Yeah, that's right. Finters? Yeah. It's really smart. It's really smart. Poplubs or bread, Poplubs or bread, Ben Schwartz, Poplums or bread. Poblobs or bread. Yes. What is a Pobloves?

As his tradition, when James screams Popadums or bread. What is a popadum? It's, uh, when you go to an Indian restaurant, that give you those at start at the meal before the food comes out they might bring you a big like big round crisps oh I love those

and you smash them out but I love a bread I love a bread do we get bread do we get to choose you can get whatever bread you want it can be a specific one

that you've had by the way when I come to England the most fun thing is eating bread because you get bread and then you get you have your butter

you have your marmalade you have your rat like it's like a whole when you get bread in America it's just like they throw it on here it's like

a beautiful presentation it's gorgeous but you're going to nice places as well we've already if you're traveling, you're going to nice places. That's true, I'm trying to. Or the hotel, when you get, like, a breakfast at your hotel, they'll give you, like, something.

But I feel like every breakfast here has at least some, like, strawberry jam or marmalade and butter for bread. Yeah, yeah. You know, the other thing I love, anytime we come here, like, if you go to a hotel, the, the, like, places where you put the towels are hot, love that, I mention. Oh, yeah. Love that. I don't know why we don't do that.

Do you just put the towels on there, or do you put other things on there? I put my balls on there, yeah. I'm giving you what you want. That's what you're going for, right? I don't know why you're going for. your balls going. Yeah. And every,

and everything we talk about, you ask where my balls are going. Okay. So I'll put my balls on the popadums, you say? Can we just go back to the water? Of course, yeah.

Are you going to put your balls in there? In the water? Yeah. I'm going to fucking plug my nose and put my balls in the water, yeah. I got to plug my nose before I put my balls in the water.

Yeah, absolutely. But if I'm doing that, I get sparkling. If it's for, if it's for my balls, I'd get sparkling. Oh, yeah. That's true.

Yeah, massage in a little bit. 100%. So we're doing a separate menu today, as well as your dream menu, we're doing, what would you rather put your balls in? And this is the show? I didn't introduce this. This is the show? You didn't talk, actually. I asked you if you put any other else on the heated town back and use their bubbles. I just figured that's what you want. You were like winking at me.

Yeah, yeah. I'm pointing at your own balls. I'm going to say, you're right. I have the S-end everything. Pointing of my balls. I'm fine. You put your balls on the trail. Remember Roger Rabbit when he goes like shave and a hair cut and Roger Rabbit has to finish it? Yeah. That's like me. My friend, Gillo, Z. Dario always uses that as a context. It's like, we have to finish the joke, whatever it is. But you always finish it with your bulls?

Yes. No matter what the joke is. Knock, knock. Who's that? Charlie X-O-X. Yeah, it's a different Charlie X.O.X. Yeah, she's friendly. I'll be always with the balls.

There you go. Ben's almost laughing. Ben's having a great time. I'm going to pop on the mic. Not today, Ben. Not today, Ben. I would do bread. I love bread and butter.

Do you have a specific type of bread that you want? Kala? Yeah. Or? I like a whole wheat in the morning. I'll do that. But a croissant, when I'm here, you guys have the best pastries also,

and I go crazy for that. But bread and butter, I usually always start, always have a little bit. And then we can dunk, if we're in like an Italian restaurant, we can dunk and get some of that sauce in the end. I think we can do this whole thing as a platter for you,

all those different breads. Is that okay? Some oils. Is that okay with the butter? Yeah, yeah. Okay. You can have a bread platter and be dunking them and mopping stuff up and putting your balls in all the dips.

If you got all the different dips, do you put your balls in those? I didn't say the balls and the dips, Do you want me to do that? Well, I guess we have to ask. Okay, I guess then I would slowly lower myself into the series of dips you put in front of me, like a double-der obstacle course,

if you're asking. Work on my quads, really get a good, down, like, get really low. Squat. Balsamic. Yeah, that's good. Balsamic. Yeah, this is, this is the podcast.

Now this is the podcast. This genuinely is closer to what we normally do, yeah. Pugs about bulls. Yeah, that's great. That's great. your dream starter okay dream started there's okay I'm going to name some restaurants that I went to also

yes please I feel like the specificity helps on this podcast because you two are very much into food an appetizer I loved is this place in L.A. called Capo it's Italian restaurant and it's sweet corn ravioli and it's just like a decadent beautiful little way to start and it's one of my favorite dishes ever in the universe it's just sweet corn in there it's sweet corioli sweet corn like an incredible sauce at a very fancy Italian place Yes If we want to go dirty food I can tell you

the very disgusting like fast food places we go to too wherever you want We want to hear about it all But for your dream menu You want to start with this Sweetcorn ravioli

I want like three little pieces of sweet corn ravioli I don't want to close my eyes When I eat them Yeah You know what I mean It's that type of That type of sweet corn raviolio

Yeah You know what I mean? Oh yeah I was just yeah You're there Thinking of all the different types of sweet corn ravioli It's a nice shut one

It's an eyes shut one Yeah yeah When people say like That small portion of ravioli it just makes you think of the first episode of Chef's Table. Okay. With the Italian chef, whose name I now can't remember.

What happened in it? Well, they talk about how, like, one of his big dishes early on was these, like, three pieces, I think of. Great. And how everyone in Italy was, like, absolutely appalled. Right. They might have a full bowl, of course. And be eating that. Do you like having, like, the free, do you savor them more when it's the each one?

I do. I do. And also, because then I just know, because you know it's a baptizer. If you have too many, then you're in a main course. We're already in a main course. And what is the genie done? We're like not even there yet. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. So that would be starter. I think that would be the starter. I love a little thing. I love a little amuse-bush. What does that translate to, do you think? Funny food. Just like livening up the mouth.

Is that true? Yeah. A moose-bush. A-moo-Bush. Great. A-moo-A-Muse? Yeah. Boosh?

Mouth. Wow. Just getting the mouth started. Seems like you're not sure. I just, do you trust? I just still, I trust. But like, I just always amazed at how clever edits. It's unbelievable.

I never really know. But you knew that. Huh? I didn't know that. Do you know what appetizer said that's for? I thought it was like Mighty Boosh. No, Mighty Boosh is a TV show here. Used to be. Now you know that, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know that, right? You know that, right. You didn't know that before. You do that right. But like, all I think of when I hear of Mood's Bush is Mighty Boosh. Yeah, that's all I think of. Okay, that makes sense. Funny surreal comedy. Do you guys, when you eat at home, do you watch TV or do you eat and not do anything?

No, I watch TV. You do? Yeah, yeah. I can't have a moment where I'm just. Is that true? Do nothing. Yeah, yeah. Are you very bad at slowing down? I'm bad at not having something else playing in the background. Why do you think that is?

Same with you? No, no, I can do it. You can be yourself? Yeah, I'll just. James is very Zen. Okay. Do you meditate and stuff. Is that where your Zen comes from?

Do yoga? You do? And try and, like, focus on my breathing during that, sure. I love this. Listen to... Do the listeners know? We'll cut all this. We'll cut all this.

No, I think it's been brought up before. They know, I do yoga and I watch ASMR videos to relax. I get called a purve by him. What type of ASMR? He finds it, like, sexually arousing. I don't find it sexually arousing. He's always... Let's test.

You look at his penis for a quick, ready? Okay. Oh, I'm getting a bunch. Yeah, you don't have to look at his penis. He's telling you. He's literally work for work doing it. That was the sound of James's dick, by the way. That was, yeah, I didn't even show the ASMR yet.

That was literally the sound of him getting hard. It was inflated. Yeah, I'll start now, okay? Yeah. Oh, he's coming. Can I start? Can I start? Can I start?

I haven't even started the ASMR. This is ludicrous. It inflated, all the air came out, and you... I was thinking of ASMA. One final breath, then said the term of ASMR, I jizzed all over the studio. When you're watching TV, do you watch something you've seen in the past, or you're watching something new? It depends. Like, if I've got something that I'm currently watching, yeah, I'll be...

What are you currently watching? Well, I just finished a whole bunch of stuff. What does that mean? Parks and Mac. He watches Pants of Mac on the loop. I just finished loads of episodes that I was watching, so now I don't have anything new on the go. What was the last show he watched? Penguin.

Oh, how was that? Great. I bet. Loved it. I bet. But quite hectic. So, you know, you can't eat and enjoy the food and watch the penguin all at the same time. This is the podcast.

Because every time I look up, I'm going, are you sure that's Colin Farrell? That's what I'm saying. If I'm eating something, I find it hard to, if I'm really in, like, in trance by what I'm watching, I find it that I'm always missing something whenever I go down to eat. Yeah. You know what I mean? Is that the start? I mean, obviously the listener. I eat like Bugs Bunny in the cartoon.

Yeah. Where my, like, the fork goes like this. I'm gnamnamnamnamnam. I have a cookie monster. Like comfort shows are good when you're eating. Yeah, when I was, when we all were watching DVDs instead of having streaming, I had like all the Simpsons seasons and I would go to bed watching them because I knew all the episodes so well that they were relaxing to me

because I knew what all the lines were. And if it was something new that I was watching, I could never go to sleep because I really wanted to know what was going to happen. So I had to watch something that was comfortable. So I used to go to sleep to The Simpsons for years in bed. What is your favorite Simpsons character? Millhouse. Yeah, straight around.

It has to be. You can play Millhouse. voice mail is Millhouse. Huh? My voicemail is Millhouse. I got the person, Pamlin, too. Yeah, as long as it's not you doing an impression. Do you want to hear it?

Yeah. Hi, it's me, Taylor Swift. Wait, I wonder if I could... Can we if your impressions of people are, hi, it's me, and then a different name? Wouldn't they say that? They would say there. Oh, I guess it's a little different. Yeah, I love that your impression of Millhouse is, hi, it's me, Taylor Swift.

Is this it? This would be it, I think. Should we play it? Yeah. Yeah, there we go. God, it would be really funny if it was Taylor Swift. Hey, Ben is in here But guess what?

Everything's coming up in the middle house That's pretty cool For a decade now That's so good Oh my God I got Captain Barnacles to do a A voice note for my nephew Who's Captain Barnacles?

Yeah, good question It was from the Octanauts Oh, okay, that's beautiful Oh my God, I did this thing for I did this thing for a show here in England And I found out what I did was a huge deal for people that grew up with this character. I'm forgetting what it, I'm forgetting,

it's a hugely famous kid show here. Yes. And Sonic got a badge. Blue Peter. There it is. That's what it is. Blue Peter. Sonic got a badge.

And I told, I told people at home that were British that I was like, oh, I did this thing. Have you ever heard of it? I got a badge. And they're like, are you kidding me? You got a badge? I didn't get a badge.

Sonic got a badge. That's unbelievable. Yeah. I can't wait to see it. When we were kids, that was the, you know, getting a blue Peter badge.

Yeah. Now we're older, right? Now we're a cool dudes, right? No, no, I don't watch it now. You know what I mean? Yeah, we barely eat breakfast anymore, you know what I mean? We're so cool now. Your dream main course.

This is the problem. I find this to be the hardest part because there's so many different versions. There's a, I love sushi. And there's this place called sushi bar in L.A. That the Omikaze is, like, the most incredible thing in the universe. I also love chicken part. I'm going to tell you the things I didn't pick. Yeah.

Parmesan is like, and I'm my favorite, like, Italian dish. Yeah. Cheeseburger. Anytime I go on the road, I always get a cheese, a barbecue sauce, and a ginger ale. That's my comfort food. Oh, nice. Cheeseburger is my favorite thing to eat? Where, like, is there a particular chain?

It doesn't even matter. There's some, there's a place called Burgers Never Say Dad. That's really good. But I'll eat any city I go to all, that's like my baron. I'll go in the hotel. I'll get that. And it, like, makes me feel happy and home. But what I picked, I'll go back to my email.

Am I allowed to say omikaze? I'll say omikaze. Is that fine? We're going to have to get into it, though. Why are you not allowed to say? Because it's so many different dishes. Is it really a main course? Well, also it takes the decision out of your hands because it's literally a chef's all I want.

It's a chef selection, right? That's all I want. Whenever I go to a restaurant, I ask the waiter, I say, are you cool? Even when I go, my guys, I go, is it cool if we just, we trust you, just give us whatever the best things are? That's my favorite way of going out to eat. Yeah. Always. I don't want to make decisions.

I love not making decisions. But now what you're doing is you're asking for a high-end sushi on McKasas. say from from the genie i'm living it in your hands yeah but i don't like uni if you don't mind huh i don't like uni so what was your first course out of this let's say six six pieces of sushi what are you going to give me oh that's good okay here we go make the genie work he's so like he doesn't do anything get your hell's kitchen from sticks and sushi i don't know what that means there's a chain called sticks and sushi can you translate everything he says absolutely that i have to do that for the majority of our north american guests it's a chain called sticks and sushi

It was actually a Danish chain, I think. Oh, wow. But Hell's Kitchen... And it's bad, I'm assuming? No, I like it. No, I'm not giving you a bad thing. It's not authentic, I would say. It's not authentic.

If you got it in a Japanese restaurant, you'd be like, this is crazy. Right, I've never heard someone getting a Hell's Kitchen. Yeah, yeah. That's not a thing that I've heard. I've been in many sushi restaurants. I've never said, Sir, can I have a Hell's Kitchen. Is that a roll? Yeah, yeah.

It's like... What's in? It's got like... Like a... Tempora prawn in the middle. At help. Tempora prawn. Temporon.

prawn in the middle and then chudo on the top and some little kind of sauce on the top some little kind of sauce on the top like it's very nice rice it is very nice rice okay rice I'll tell you what I would do

thank you if you genuinely so you have a very nice experience so I went to Japan earlier this year for the first time he keeps name dropping all these countries he's been doing this is insane this is unbelievable even the hell's kitchen you're like it's a Danish restaurant Of course, we get it. You've been all over the world.

Okay, yeah, so he went to Japan. I went to Japan too. Oh, my God. See, he doesn't throw it in my face. He gently, so we're going to Japan. I would love to go. I was obsessed with that Giro, dreams of sushi. Oh, my God.

It made me feel like so, it was amazing. Maybe that could be your own, Kassi. We get you, Giro. Yeah. We get you go to Jiro. Get him in here. And Jiro can make your... Call on the phone.

Ring, ring, ring. I'm not falling down that track. I figured it would just be a little woman saying hello. Yeah, yeah. You just do No man, Don't bring me out as an improviser.

I'm constantly worried in improv that people are trying to trap me. Really? No, no, I don't do it. You don't do it. Well, so it's just the Ed's own brain.

So, you know, you wouldn't be worried in that situation, but Ed's own brain goes, be racist. So it's very difficult. So in your head, if you allow yourself

to really go nuts, you don't know what you'll say. I only did improv once, but we were filming a show where I was in character and the other improvisers didn't know it was a character. Oh, like L.A.G.

I'm good at, yes. Yes. Yes, like a gentle version. But what was your character? George Carlton. Oh, excuse me, can I talk with Georgie Carlton? No, no, no, he's not spoken for 10 years. Can I hear one word?

Can I just hear what he sounds like? He just sounds like a posher version of me, really. Can I hear him? Yeah, that's him now. This is Posher? Yeah, yeah. We did it? And let me hear you normal?

Hello? And then you're posh? Hello? Oh, yeah, I hear it. It's a subtle little, it's a subtle little taste. There's a little taste. There's a little taste. Right, it's like the salt bay of like,

Did he did just a little bit of legs. Yeah, okay. God, I love that guy. But I was very good at fucking up an improv show. Okay, saying no and saying that things aren't real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But if we did improv, I bet you would have, I would take care of you and you have a great show.

Thank you very much. There you go. I think you guys would be great together. Yeah. I'd love to do the improv show. Yeah. Great. Benchorts and friends.

Let's do it. So we're going to get you Giro to come down. This is actually great. And he can make your sushi for you. Yeah. You're a macaset. Great. Do you like the sort of fancy rolls

with loads of things in it or do you like the really simple? Okay, so this place called sushi bar in L.A. It's in Encino. It's like in a little speakeasy. By the way, I very rarely get to eat these fancy places. I'm name-dropping a lot of them

just because this seems like what the show is. But it's like a little speakeasy. There's seven of us. It's like so fun. And they give you, there are no utensils. They give you one piece of sushi on rice, but they put like different special sauces on it.

And it's just absolutely fantastic. So I like, a clean piece of fish with a rice on it. But I love when they, I don't need a lot of stuff in a roll. I love when there's different sauces or if they like keyed up something or something like that. I love that stuff. But I don't need like 20 things. Yeah. Let me tell you about this place that you might really like in the UK. I went last week. I need places for tonight and tomorrow. Well, this only happens on Saturdays. Okay. And it's in Notting Hill in, it's a supermarket during the day and then they turn it into a restaurant in the evening. I'm already obsessed with this.

I love this. And you arrive. It's one sitting. There's like 15 of you. or whatever, and they go, welcome, they give you this little miso suit with lobster in it, that's the first thing. Wow. And then they go, well, the tuna's arrived, and you'll go out the front of the restaurant, and there's a van out there.

Oh, I've heard of this. Yeah, and they open the back, and a whole bluefin tuner is... And they've been... I've seen video of this on the internet. It's slid onto a stretcher, and they wheel... It feels very weird. And people eat it fresh right off the thing, right?

Have you done it? Scoop off the thing, and did it last week, yeah. And how was it? He sent me a photo. He sent me a photo of it. It looked like he had gone to some illegal underground. Yes, the videos are insane. It's called Tuna Fight Club.

No, it's not. Yeah, it's called Tuna. Well, that is why it's called that. And was it, was it? Was it, like, incredible? I'd be scared to eat it that. Like, I know that it's uncooked, but the idea of scooping it off of the issue. They scoop it off the thing and just put it straight in a piece of Nauri and then brush some soy sauce over the top and then straight in.

And that's basically your first course. It was just so fresh. It was mad. I mean, look, it feels weird because you're all stood around this. It looks like you're watching an autopsy. I can't see the thing that me like. I can't see the thing that I'm eating I can't see like if you show me a picture of a cow

and then like point to what I'm eating and I'm eating this I can't do it like I went to a fancy restaurant that had like the chicken leg was still like the claw was still there I was like oh I then now I know what this whole thing is it's too much for me you have to I have to remove that part out So what's happening in your head when you're eating the food

when you can't see it then are you like this is different? Oh my god it's from I don't know where it's from it could be from anywhere I don't even know chicken where does this come from this is crazy just appeared on my plate braised Yeah, the photo that Ed sent me of Tuna Fight Club was like they had like, you know, knocked out a cow and just had it on a gurney.

Yeah, too scary. And some absolute thug was walking around it just scooping bits off the cow and giving it to people and going, there's your burger. The thing is it was delicious, but it does make you go, oh, this is fucked. Tough. This whole thing is fucked.

What else do you eat? Or is it now they cut the tuna and you eat different versions of it? It's like a whole, like, tasting menu and you just get loads of different. With that one big, yeah, yeah. And that you get. Loads of, like, the really fatty bits, like the collar. Do people, when you go and eat, and this is a real question, I know that you're humble people and you won't talk about this. But when you go to restaurants, they know you do this podcast, do you get treated a little bit differently at restaurants because they know you'll probably talk about them?

Sometimes. Give me an example of the most crazy version of that. I can always tell a little bit when they ask at the top, if you want still a sparkling water, you see a little glint in their eye. That's every restaurant says that. Yeah, but they'll do it in a certain way. So you can tell if they don't listen to the podcast. Give it to me in the special one. This is, they don't listen to the podcast, right?

And do you want to still a sparkling water at the top? Okay. That's normal. They don't know who you are. Is it if they listen to the podcast? Do you want to still a sparkling water? For a podcast listeners, you can't see. But there was tongues and cheeks.

It was really good. Yeah, yeah. I get it. Okay. Okay, this person knows. And then they might, you know, they sent something for the table. We spoke about it on the podcast before they might send over an extra little dish or something. This was very nice.

Will they ever pay for your meal? Sometimes they'll try to And you'll Like sometimes they're a restaurant That we have shouted out on the podcast Yes We'll invite us And then you might go in

And then have to kind of You know wrestle with them to let you pay Right Because we like to I'm sure you're the same He means it as well He wrestles with them

Yeah I'll be like I'll be like Get on the floor We're wrestling Wow so ASMR and wrestling With random waiters Are like your two things But it's ASMR wrestling

Asrrs very quiet wrestling You vote sit on the floor And just whisper What you would do To each other if you're wrestling Oh, that's great. I got you to headlock. That's great.

I got you to headloaf. That's really cute. I like that a lot, actually. It's a stone cold stunner. Wow, you went from a regular headlock to a full WWF move. Yeah. That's a short match as well. Yeah, by the way, we're done.

Because no one's kicking out the stunner. No, that's it. What happens after the stunner? That's a protected move. Yeah, that's true. That's it. That's your finishing move. That's your finish him in Mortal Kombat, the stunt.

Would you like to do a stone called stunner on Stone Cold Steve Austin? Is this what the show is? Yeah. That's a valid question because James asked that question. You know what? I wouldn't, I wouldn't. But I would love to, I would love to perform a finishing move in a wrestling match. I feel like that, and have it and be able to name it and, like, establish it as.

There is something when, one of the things that, you know, like how wrestlers, when they come out, they come out to the same song. And so you'll hear it like, did you guys watch wrestling when you were younger? Yes. Okay. So like when the under, and now, of course. Of course. I did a movie of John Cena and I got to ask him all these questions about wrestling, which was so fun. But so like when The Undertaker comes out, the first thing is,

and like if you watch one of those matches the second that first the first note of the bell comes out the crowd goes fucking crazy and so I love the idea of training you know people's brains to be like when you hear the song whatever so for improv we always pick the same intro song to come out to I don't know if you do that when you guys come out so I have like the same song and different groups have different songs because I love the idea like when you hear this song oh we're gonna get these people are about to come out nice and I got that from wrestling I was like oh how cool

do you have the sound effects and then the song kicks it No, just the song starts Because the sound effects Like the Undertaker, obviously Stone called Steve Wilson has glass smashing Oh yeah, that's true So they go wild for it

You can have the sound What is the rock? If you smell what the rock is cooking It's just him shouting it Right? That'll offer you a SMAR Yeah But it's a different

It's different music How many other ones can we think of? What did it? Jake DiBiassi? No, that's not his name Ted DiBi Biasi Didthia Yeah

What do you have? It's just music But it's just recognisable music Yeah There's no noise exciting. What's the theme song to this? Can you sing it? Off menu. Get ready to eat some food. Ben Schwartz is coming on one day. Oh, it's this day. So your theme song always talks about me and today's the day that it pays off. So we're going to have to change it now. Oh my God. Now you got to change it to remember when Ben's

Ben Schwartz was out of here. Yeah, that's great for any. I love that. Yeah. Pretty good. Did you guys sing the theme song or that's yeah. Wow. It's spare no expense. Yeah, I'll sing it. I didn't want to sing it because he's afraid that if you had to, improvised lyrics, it'd be racist. I heard the first take of Ed's version was very un-PC. We would get cancelled in a hurry. In a hurry, you would get cancelled. By me.

Yeah, of course. I try to cancel Ed many times. You want to be solo. We know. You've been trying to get solo for years. Imagine this solo. Yeah, yeah. Imagine this without the translator here.

It'd be tough. Yeah. It would just be a genie. It'd just be mayhem. Yeah. Imagine the UN without translators. Yeah, it'd be impossible. People yelling at different languages.

The world would have been on fire. within seconds. People are making points, but nobody can understand each other. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I got it. Thank God you're here. Yeah.

You're welcome. Your dream side dish. That's where Khan comes in. I wrote it down. Okay, so side dish is crispy okra from Khan in Portland. That's where, okay, so Khan is, I think it's a Haitian menu,

but it was like one of those other things also where when we ate there, After we ate there, we're like, oh my God, this is, we'll say, I'll say, top five meal, but I have like 100 places I say for it. But I'll say top five meal. This is one of my favorite meals of every at my life. But I also think part of the fun is like the people you're around and stuff like that. But that, especially that side dish was amazing. And I never really had okra before. I love it. Especially that crispy, Jim Kana here for a while did a crispy okra. And I was so, yeah, so addicted to it. And then went once and it wasn't on the menu anymore. And I very did the kind of like sad, do you not do it anymore? And then? They brought it out. Wow. That's the sort of privilege this podcast gets here.

You invent a demand. They didn't know who I was. I was with someone more famous. Who were the person you were? Jevo. Was he dreaming of sushi? He was. Are you serious?

They brought him some sushi out. Oh, that's smart. He went, excuse me, I'm dreaming of sushi. I was also with Jesse Jay, Taylor Swift. And it sounded a little something like this. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Hi, hi. Hi, Jiro.

Hey. that's kind of how it went right all of the Spice Girls All the Spice Girls are there do you want to hear him Yeah tell me which one I am ready Sporty sorry That was right tell you what I've got away you've got away You've got away you got away you got away you got away All right already

I'm going to say hi is each spice girl Tell me which one I am ready Hi baby correct Ready hi hi posh Correct correct ready Hi Jerry Howley well Correct last one hey Scary there you go yeah

Are we missing any Sporty Hi hey God, they're all here. Big bicycles fans? Were you growing up? Yeah. Were you?

Were you? Were boy bands big here? Yeah, yeah. Where were your boy bands? I mean... We had all the American ones, obviously. We had EnSink and people like that, but there's also Boyzone here.

Boyzone, I've heard of Boys on. Boyzone West Life. A lot of Irish boy bands here. Oh, wow. Yeah. Are both you from? Where do you grow up? I'm from a town called Ketman in the middle of the country, England.

Okay. London. Wow. London. London, born and bread. Yeah. Wow. Wow.

But Wimbledon. Is that a fancy part of London? Fancy part of London, I'd say. Did you go to Wimbledon quite a bit? No, never went to the tennis tournament. Really? Yeah, we should get them over there. We should get him over there.

We should get him over there. Yeah. I can't believe you've not been. You'd love the strawberries and cream. You're a foodie. Yeah, that's true. You'd probably be racist on the court, though. Yeah, that would be a shame.

That would be game over for you. No, I'd fit in. Is that true? Yeah. Have you seen that place? No, is it bad. They make it look like a commoner. Okay.

Well, now you can't go to Wimbledon. You just screw that up for yourself. I'm not shitting on it. I want to go to Wimbledon. Mimbledo is like full of people from Saltburn. I haven't seen saltburn. I just know he drinks bath water. Is that the whole thing?

Well, the bath water is the least of his issue. That's not the headline? No. I'd say in that mouthful, the bathwater is the thing that most people would be okay with. What happens in the bath? He drinks the guy's jizz out of the bath. Is that true? Yeah, that's why it's, the bath water is like, oh, that's a bit weird.

This is so different. But he sucks all the jizz out of the plug-o. So someone just told you This is 100% the show This is 100% the show You just said sucking the jizz out of the bath water Yeah, the plug-all Yeah

So that means it's floating? You kind of don't see it floating You don't know it's more inferred, it's classic You know it's in there It's classy? Oh, okay, okay So we add in on the podcast You want to give me a call

Bring bring bring bring Bring Sorry that wasn't even be doing anything That was you were getting hard again I mean, we haven't asked you your dream drink yet and there's time to change it if you want.

You know, it's funny when I go out in England, I really, if I have a chance to, I try to have some Jiz bath water. I usually get a gin and tonic when I'm here because it feels like when I'm supposed to get a refresh. Dishintin Tonic.

I don't know why, yeah. Jiz and tonic. Or an old, old fashion. I like an old fashion. But what I usually do is, I look at old fashioned Jiz, of course. This is what the show is I can't believe how old-fashioned bathwater giz.

Out of a jug where you go, who-hoo. Bathroom. You know, like you make bathroom whiskey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I also oftentimes like to look at a cocktail list and find, like, I like a fruity beverage with a lot of fruit and stuff like that. We both decided to leave cocktails too easy. Yeah, you don't want to do it. I know.

I try to help you guys out. So you are a cocktail guy. I like a cocktail, but I don't drink very much. Yeah. Yeah. So, but I'll have a, last night we had a cocktail after dinner. What's great? I don't even know it was something, it had charcoal in it.

I don't know. It was like some, it had like, I like, it had ginger beer. It had some, like, two spirits in it. I like a little beverage that tastes sweet. Nice. I know. You got sweet tooth? Yeah, love dessert.

Great. Can't wait. We're not there yet. No, but I'm a big dessert fan. Oh, really? It's nice for me to know that. I love a dessert. That we're heading to a good place.

Oh, my God. James likes, he likes to feel safe to know that the guest is going to pick something sweet for dessert. I don't trust people who don't eat dessert. Yeah, me too. Do you dessert, Ed? No. I do eat dessert. Sometimes he gets cheese and biscuits instead of a pop of dessert. Yeah, exactly.

I don't think that's true. It's in the space where dessert would be. No, it's a fake to make you feel good about yourself because I agree that it's not dessert. I never feel good about myself afterwards. Is that true? Then why do you get it? Well, it's delicious. If you're going to be naughty, what are you going to get?

I mean, cheese is not well behaved. Oh, my God. That's you being crazy? Cheese is not well behaved, Ben. How sharp is that cheddar? It gets pretty sharp and you can get creamy. Do you like a smelly cheese? I love a smelly cheese.

You've got to try this bathwater stuff. You're going to love it. Shot that. No, I get dessert as well. Barely. You know. He's not involved in, right? He's barely around for this.

Are you embarrassed when everybody gets dessert? This is a real question. No, you're fine. What, if I get cheese and everyone gets dessert? Or, like, everybody's going to get dessert. You're like, oh, now I've got to tell everybody they don't get dessert. No. Because sometimes I do get dessert.

Or sometimes I'll get an espresso martini instead of dessert. That's not dessert. That's a beverage. Yeah, but it's sweet. It's thick. It's bathful. He loves it when everyone's got dessert and he's there with a cheese board. Right, you feel better.

Of course. He hates the king. Oh, yeah. And then you feel like you didn't gain as much weight as everybody else. No, no, no, it's not. Cheese, have you eaten cheese? Come on. I guess there's a bunch of fat in there.

It's luxurious. Are you afraid that big cheese is going to take you down? You're really defending cheese. Shout out to cheese. Shout out to cheese. See if you got some free samples or something. Shout out to cheese. I'd love some free samples of cheese.

Yeah, no. Your dream drink will come at the end of the meal. Probably. Or I get a drink to the beginning and then I'll finish near the end. So what would you like at the beginning? What would you like at the end? I'd probably take an old-fashioned than a genitonic tank.

But I usually like to look at other people's cocktailists and the funny names, and I'll pick like a fun cocktail. Or a tequila drink. I love a little margarita right now. Margarita, come on. Salt on the room, come on. Oh, yeah.

Are we not having fun? When you're... Are you not entertained? I'm entertained. Yeah, too. Great. Does he say it in Gladiator 2 as well? I don't know.

I hope. Maybe they are entertained. Surely not. They don't have to. They don't say it. Does say any other catchphrases? Smoking. I think he says smoking.

I'm almost certain that Pedro Pascal says, somebody stop me. I think. I'm not 100% sure. I mean, would truly be my favorite if that happened. Great. If they're all just saying like Jim Carrey catchphrases,

it'd be great. Denzel's like, all right then. That'd be great out of his asshole. Yeah, yeah. I'm just too great. I must want to do it if you know why the Gladiator's a fire. It'd be great.

It'd be fantastic. Because there's like animals in Gladiator too. right big wild animals you can't I don't know I've seen it is a great I can't wait to see it apparently

crawling out of the rhinos butthole at the beginning kind of hot these rhinos one of my favorite lines the other one of my favorite lines

also Jim Carrey who's in Sonic one of my favorite lines in any movie is in dumb and dumber the beat when he's still the limo driver

and he's just dropped off the was the Swanson no what's her name in it Mary Swanson yeah and drops on

and he's driving and he looks and he goes, Goodbye, my love! And then he gets her an accident. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Goodbye my love, then he gets her an accident to me. The Goodbye My Love is one of my favorite, like not famous Jim Carrey lines.

I love so much. And also the other one in Dumb and Dumber is our pets. Heds are falling on. We were talking before you got here about... Oh, two guns. He threw out two guns. James threw out two guns. You can see that in this camera, two guns, James.

Gun per camera. All right, let's see what happened. We were all saying that we... So Benito was on a... a flight recently. This is Benito. Ben is Ben. And he watched Demme and Dema

with the sound off. Was it so amazing? And could, because he knows it off by heart. Ben's got the sound off. So he was able to just like, that's watched it so many times. Yeah.

And we were saying that we think we could do that as well. I used to be able to, I don't think I could do it now, but me and my friend could do the whole film to each other. It's a tough five movie for me of all time. It's a real stunt. I think it might be my favorite comedy

and one of my favorite movies all. Back to the Future is my favorite. favorite movie, and I think Dumb and Dumbra would be right after it. I think we might have a similar top five. Those two are certainly in there. Okay, ready? Oh, my, now I'm under pressure, because I want to get it right. Yours is probably American History X.

Oh, no. Never seen the end. I was going to ask all that stuff to build up, but that was a really good callback. Never seen the last 10 minutes. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Mine is Back to the Future. I think Back to the Future, for me is the best movie ever made for me. It hit me at the time where I was like, this is what movies are, and I got so excited.

Shawshank Redemption is in my top five. I'm not going to throw you any kerball. I feel like, you know when people do letterbox? They're like, there's a French film that you've never heard about a tiny tack inside a young woman's shoe. And it's filmed just in black and white. It's the POV of the tack. And I'm like, I literally, if we have to do that for Sonic,

mine is going to be back to the future, Shawshank Redemption, dumb and dumber. Is that going to meet you in the Criterion closet, desperately searching the shelves? I was going, fucking a one of dumb and darling. Do you guys have big daddy? I'm looking through the bees. Big trouble, a little china, I see. What are the other one? I would do an animated movie, either upper Aladdin probably.

One of those two. And then what will be my fifth? There has to be a great one. I'll figure it out. There's a lot of movies now that, like, I'll rewatch now that I look. Like, Jurassic Park, I still think is one of the best movies. Big, one of the best movies ever made. That is an honest, top five.

That is just like straight down the line. I'm not trying to impress you with that I've seen a French movie. film. Yeah. I've seen a few of them. But yeah. What are your top? Or give me the top three then. Five is too hard. I think I did. I did the Letterbox thing once. Oh, great. I said Spinal Tap. A great movie. You know they made a sequel? Yes. The mega, yeah. Yeah. I'm looking forward to seeing that. Can't wait. I said Eternal Sunshine. Oh, unbelievable movie. You definitely did one that you're ashamed of.

School of Rock. I know, I would have done. Oh, fuck. I should have said School of Rock. Yeah. School of Rock's in my top. It's a perfect film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's a perfect film. Rob Reiner, by the way, I think has one of the best directing movies in a streaks ever and eclectic it was like spinal tap then it was princess bride then it was like harry sally a few good men american president misery all different genres all incredible film i don't think any other filmmaker has done in a row such an eclectic although i guess spielberg did like shindler's list and drastic park in the same year that's crazy isn't it can you imagine that and your dad can't even drink water isn't that insane spilberg did schindler's list and drastic park in the same year and your dad

can't drink water without plugging up his nose. Isn't that insane? A two very different men. Spielberg and my dad. They both have different strengths. No, who knows? Do you think Spielberg ever, like, got it mixed up in his head, which film he was directed? Yeah, I think, I think, yeah, I think there must be moments, of course.

Yeah. Yeah. Was Dolnger and in Chinler's list? Yeah, yeah. It was the, like, off screen. They talked about him a lot, I think. The Dolph, you said? The Dolph, you said a lot about the Dolm.

Okay. Wait, what's your three? So you said one in the three? I think, I think if we're going, yeah, back to. the future Dumb and Duma and School of Rock would be a very sensible top three for me to say right now, yeah. Why would my dad survive quite long

in Jurassic Park though? Oh, good question. Okay, why would James's father survive quite long in Jurassic Park? Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, okay. Not a lot of drinking water, I guess. Yes, exactly. Oh, because the water shakes. Is that weird?

So if he's not drinking the water, he can see whenever the dinosaurs. Everyone else is drinking. Everyone else is drinking the water So he constantly has It's like signs, the movie signs Where there's like they're constantly full glasses of water Everywhere

So we can always even the dinosaurs It's a great line Everyone else Man that's a slow burn But when you get it That's unbelievable Have you considered he might be one of the aliens From signs

That's why he's so Afrode He can't drink the water Yeah yeah Also he must not be able to watch saltburn There's too much water in that fucking He would be like Get me that water

Just give me the jizz Yeah Cut the chin No chaser, no chaser. Just give me that creamy white. I can't wait for the chat after this episode where you're going to have to cut that bit about that. No, we're leaving it all the end.

I'm looking forward to the text messages from my mother who listens to every episode. I haven't met either one of your parents, but I'm assuming they're wonderful people. They are, yeah. Do you want to call you down on the phone real quick? Yeah. Big, bring, big, big, hello.

It's been there. We arrive at your dream dessert, Ben. Oh, this is easy. I love a classic Sunday. I want either cookies and cream ice cream or vanilla ice cream. I want chocolate syrup. I want marshmallow syrupy thing. I want a cherry on top. I want nuts. I'm lactose intolerant and it is one of my favorite things to eat even then. Yeah. Do you take a little pill? I don't. I just get punished. I'm punished. I'm destroyed afterwards. Are you like eating it on the toilet? Yes. There's

no middleman. It goes down. It's like an x-ray of watching the food. No middleman would just be tipping the whole thing down the toilet. That's correct. Yeah. Just throwing it in there, I guess. You're right. You are the middleman. I am the middleman. Aren't we all middlemen? Do you know what I mean? We're all vessels. We're all vessels for, you know.

But I think that would, that would probably be it. That's delicious. I mean, I always feel quite nostalgic ice cream Sundays. Same. Yeah. Remember when you're a kid? I love it. Same.

A lot of dishes, it's almost like a ratatoo. You know, when he eats the ratatoo and he's like, that's what cheeseburgers are to me. That's what all those, a lot of those dishes just bring me back. Because when I was younger, we didn't go out to eat very often. And now that I'm able to do it a little bit more. It's like me having new experience. experiences, these tasting menus or anything like, is such a new thing. I didn't try sushi

until I was like almost graduated college. And I was like, what is this? And then slowly, you know, when you start off as comedians, you have no money. So I'm eating fast food all the time or pizza from New York all the time. And then slowly when I was able to afford real meals that, whatever, then I, that's why it's like still new and exciting anytime we go to these restaurants and stuff like that. That's why I want to try them out why I can. How do you feel about like crazy Sundays? You know, when they like go completely over the top, there's like the freak shakes and all of that stuff where it's all like spilling over the sides

yeah yeah first of all like I don't love a mess I don't need I don't need to be a mess yeah but I love having a sip of that but can't do it if it's too too much going on I feel like I'm not tasting it that's why with Sunday I get to choose I put my spoon and I'm really choosing how much of each ingredient I want heaven

are you a banana split fan not really I love bananas don't love a banana split what do we think about that it's curious you just like the purity of the banana I guess oh yeah I just don't want anybody to hurt that banana I love banana but a little treat that we do when we're filming is banana with peanut butter and honey. That's one of my little treats when we're filming.

I'm trying not to eat too much and get too bloated. When we say we, it sounds like someone's making that for you. Just like me, The Rock, your dad, Charlie X-O-X, Jesse Jay, Katie Perry, Charlie X-C-X, Taylor. Taylor Swift. Yeah, she's there. You want to end by doing an improv scene? Yeah.

Yeah. That's the right thing to say, isn't it? You have to say, yes. Well, is there more before? I know you asked a question. The two of you were in an ice cream. parlor? Well, this is, you can't set it up. What? Isn't that how you do it? That's short form.

Give me a suggestion, any word, and I'll start off. Hang on, are we not doing short form? We're doing... No, we only do long form. I only do long form. Yeah, okay. But we'll do a scene. We used to do an improv thing when we do the off-menu tour where it's Shrek prov, where James tends to the Shrek, and then I get suggestions from the audience and he has the improv scene of Shrek. Yes. Okay. But that was normally ended with Shrek Wanking, right? Yeah, every time. Ed would say to them, what kind of a mood is Shrek in

and they would say horny. Okay, but can't you say, well, we want a, give me a different one? No, because that's not like improv, is it? I'm in control. So you always make a jerk off. Yeah. Yeah, I've always got to be Shrek. Yeah.

Yeah. Unbelievable. Sorry, you guys are doing an improv scene? We don't have to. I'm up for it, Ben. Okay, so what I do in my shows for, we do improv for an hour and a half on stage, me and three people, we won't do it here. But basically what happens is I interview an audience member.

I just ask someone, what's the most exciting day or night of your life? And they tell me a story about the most, exciting day or another life. And we use that as inspiration to make an hour and a half show. Wow. But anyway, so we wouldn't ask for like, give me a place, whatever. We just wanted to talk to you, learn about that person or learning about that story and go. So for you and I, if you want to do a scene for real, do you want to do a scene? Oh, you're saying for real. I was deliberately going to ruin it immediately. Do you can't move it? Do you want to try one? Yeah, yeah. Don't try to say no to it. Like when we're in it, don't make it bad on purpose. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So James, give us,

I guess, or just like, tell me us to tell me something. Tell me a, tell me a something interesting that's happened to you in the past couple days. Anything that felt a little unique in the past few days. Unique. Yeah. Or interesting or fun or anything. Because this is just one scene. I went to see a band last night play A great gig. Super Milk.

Super Milk. And then are you big fans? What type of music of Super Milk? They're a rock band, like a punk rock band. And I've only just bought their album. Very catchy punk music. Ed's wife is in the band. Is that true? That's true. Wait, hold up. Your wife is in the best. So you were at that concert as well?

I was. Okay. Is that going to make the improv scene harder? No, it's going to make it easier. That's going to be incredible. And there's the security guy. There's a problem at the gigs.

Oh, shit. Here we go. Keep going. Never mind, James, keep going. The security guard kept on ID and everyone, even though everyone was clearly over 40. I was trying to get it about something else, but we can just make about that instead of putting your wife in this improv,

which is probably weird for you. Yeah, yeah. Can I see your ID, please? Sorry, I don't carry. You don't carry it? No, I suppose I know you're 21 years old. Well, I've never really been asked that before because I look awful. What are you talking about?

You look awful. You look beaten up and ruined, but I don't know how old you could be. I had this like 10-year-old kid trying to come in the other day. There was two 10-year-olds in a trench coat tried to come in here. They looked awful. Let me see your ID. Well, I'm not too, I'm not to 10-year-olds. Can I just leap in here now?

Is Ed constantly refusing to show you his idea a problem? No, he's saying yes to the game. Is he saying yes to the game? In my head, he's saying yes to the game. Okay, carry on. In my head, he's saying yes. Because if I just show the idea, then that's the end of the game, right? Could be?

I'd find a way to keep you there. Either way, I'd keep you in the scene. Absolutely. But this is great. Now, the game of the scene, in my head, the game of the scene is that he can't show me identification. He's going to keep trying to get in any way he can, and I'm going to keep trying to get it. So we can play this game for maybe 20 minutes.

Ben's saying there's four minutes. Oh, we only have four minutes. Oh, I can't throw this in there. Don't you guys have to ask a question at the end? Do the audience members normally get involved and say, is this going to be a problem for the scene? Especially when you were doing something well James just wanted to be involved in the scene

Both of you feel horny by the way Sorry, your idea The picture in your ID looks really fucking hot My God, it says likes, dislikes, water, bat water with giz in it Is that what you want James? Yeah We just start fucking Carry on, ASMR ASM improv is a good idea

Asm Improv is great You can do a couple of hours of that Can we get a suggestion please Good I heard I heard church Hello priest How are you

That's very well How are you Oh my God I'm doing so fucking well That's good I think that works really well Just Only four minutes

What do we do In the last three minutes I'll reach about your menu You're going to tell me How you feel about it Is there a question that you ask? No I think I've asked a few

There's the whole menu stuff Yep You would like still water James You would like a bread platter James Your starter You want sweet corn

Ravioli from Capo There you go You can't believe on yourself Amokate made by Gero Yes

Yeah noone Side dish Crispi Okra From Kahn in Portland KAAN Great place Drink An old fashioned

At the beginning A gin and tonic at the end Great There's a classic Ice Cream Sunday Yes That sounds very nice And very clean menu

Thanks guys Yeah I think you're Because you're worried Before that With big meals You're coming out Feeling bloated and full

I think you've saved yourself for dessert there and you've given yourself the option to go like that after. Exactly. I gave myself the gift of feeling comfortable. I love a walk after a meal too. Oh, yes. Love a walk after a meal.

One time I was in Vancouver and I was with a chef and I was going to eat at his restaurant. He was a lovely guy and he said, meet me 40 minutes before I want to talk to you about stuff. I was like, okay. And we walked for 40 minutes around the, we were in Vancouver, around this huge seawall

and then we walked to his restaurant and we were like tired and he's like the food's going to taste better and I go what do you mean? He goes because we just walked for that long and you're thirsty and you're hungry the food's going to taste even better and he was right

food tasted so good so he's like purposely made me walk a bunch beforehand to get ready for the meal but I always love after a meal to walk and it always makes me feel better whenever I walk after me was he like so sit down and enjoy the meal

I've got like eight more tables booked in so I'm going to have to go on like I'm walking all day I'm getting my steps in today yeah yeah he's not cooking nothing Yeah, he never cooked. I didn't need anything. Yeah.

He's on an empty plate. The most ripped calves you've ever seen that day. Yeah, it was incredible. It was like Popeye calves. It's crazy. Shout out Popeye. Hey, shout out Popeye. By the way, while we're here, shout out Pluto, shout out of oil, shout out of Plopi.

You can shout out. Plopi is a type of shitting Popeye. You know what I mean? He's allergic to spinach. He's allergic to spinach. It's crazy. Thank you so much for coming on, Ben. A pleasure.

Delicious menu. Very, very good. Delicious conversation? Oh, Beyond Delicious It tastes even better because we walked here You've not noticed every time we said anything to each other I was whispering yummy under my breath Oh yeah, you kept saying

I didn't understand what we were doing It was really yummy Yeah, yeah Okay, that was really good All right great And this is the podcast This is the podcast It's the podcast

Well there we are What a brilliant episode James Oh thank you Ben for coming on the podcast And making us feel I mean I think it was early in the morning and I just feel much more rejuvenated. He's got a wonderful energy. He does.

He's got a fantastic energy. Couldn't keep up. Oh, you were floundering, man. You're going to get a lot of tweets. But how you couldn't keep up? Yeah, I don't really go on Twitter, so that's fine. Well, yeah. Instagram him.

Yeah. Is that what people do? Yeah. Instagram, Ed, and tell him how much you floundered. Just say, you didn't keep up, man. Papa James. Please don't do that. Even though I know it's set up, it'll still make me feel bad.

Yeah, I still ruin his day. So don't do that. Yeah, don't do that. He's a person. person with feelings. He's a person with feelings. Thanks so much to Ben. Keep an eye out for DNA. Keep an eye out for Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice. And if you get a chance to go and see Ben Schwartz and Friends, you must. Go to the cinema, watch Sonic 3. Yeah. And you know what? Just treat yourself to Ben's entire back catalogue. There's plenty of stuff out there.

You can become a Ben Schwartz Stan. Yes, of course. If you're not already, of course. Yes. I think you might be, especially after that episode. Yeah. Great menu. Great chat, very funny. Great impressions. Great impressions. Such good impressions. Really good. And he didn't say port knuckle either.

Do you really appreciate? Yeah. We would have had to kick him out and that would have been a shame. Thanks for that, Ben. And thank you for trying to get Benito to speak. And we apologize that it didn't pan out. Yeah, it's the first time a guest has ever held the mic up to Benito. Repeatedly.

Multiple times. Three or four times. Like a reporter at press conference. Moving it over to him. Yeah. And sadly, because of the way. Benito is set up the few cameras in this room. None of them are pointed at himself.

So, yeah, there will be footage of that, but you all just see the mic go out of frame and then come back in again. And it never works. Never works. You will never speak. Thank you for listening to the Off Menu podcast. We'll be back next week.

Bye-bye. My name is Ryan. This is my best friend, Tony, and together we do the Tony and Ryan podcast, and people right across Canada, they listen to our show. Now, Stacey and Marley, you guys are sisters and pretty competitive. Can you tell us who listens more? Oh, it's definitely me. No.

We will text each other through the day saying, hey, have you listened to the pod yet? So it's something that even we talk about as sisters, what was talked about on the pod. So when you're finished listening to this legendary podcast, check out us, Tony and Ryan.