Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Best of 2019

Episode Date: December 26, 2019

It's the end of the decade, and the end of the first year of Off Menu. It's time to reminisce and take a look back at the best bits of the podcast so far.We'll be back for series 3 very soon – stay hungry!Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

James, it's the end of 2019. Wow. What a year it's been. It has. It's flown by, mate. It goes so quickly the years. It does indeed. Which means it's the end of off menu for 2019. We'll, of course, be back in 2020.

Absolutely. It's mad, isn't it? 2020. 2020. Who thought? I never thought. Very futuristic sounding year. Oh, it is.

It's a very futuristic sounding year. But that's not why we're here today to look forward. We're here to look back, James. Oh, so many good memories, Ed, this podcast's been going for just over a year now, and I wish we could just reminisce. I wish there was some recorded evidence, you know, some record of this podcast so we could listen back to all the best bits. James, I don't think you know what a podcast is. Something me and you, Benito, do, in a room, and then word of mouth gets around. No, we've been recording these.

That's why, why do you think we've got these things in front of us? For kissing. You've been practicing kissing on that, have you? Yeah. I guess this all the time That's why the edits take so long Because Benito has to edit out All you're kissing

Oh What do you mean? Edit? Yeah, he edits the podcast Because this is all recorded We speak to the guests In a recorded environment And then we put that out to the public

That's how people know about it It's not just Benito Tries to remember what we say And then just goes and spreads it around the town Someone tells someone else I thought that was what it was No this is not Chinese whispers That's why Benito's here

No, no no no He's not the town crier Oh I've been telling everyone you're the town crier So James, today what we're doing is we're doing a best of. We're going to play loads of brilliant clips, our favourite clips from across the whole year and indeed the end of 2018, all the off-menu episodes, and we've got a little compilation of all of our favourite bits.

So we say our best memories and then Benito recites them to us? No, because we've recorded it. Ed, are you sure it's not 2020 already? I feel like I'm in the future. Welcome to the future. I think this episode will be a lovely gift for someone who hasn't heard off-menu before. Perhaps they want to know the flavor of off-menu. What's it all about?

Well, play them this, because this is a mega compilation of all of our favorite bits. Oh, so many favorite bits. Or indeed, if you remember all of these episodes, but just want to have a nice reminisce without scanning through for your favorite bits, bang this on. Here we go. That's what the end of the years for? You want to reminisce a little bit?

Hey, what should we reminisce about first, Ed? What kind of stuff? Well, you know, quite often on off-menu, James, the guests have taken the surroundings of the dream restaurant to the max. They've invented their own foods, right? Or they've eaten very innovative dishes that they remember. Oh, yeah. I remember like Scuba's Pip did that, Keros Matthews, Jordan Banjo, even Dynamo.

He did, and that's a great intro for this package of clips. And I might have to come in the kitchen and make it for you, because when I worked in pizza, I invented... My name in real life is David Meads. I stopped using that name, not for stage, but when I worked in HMV, I was known as Pip, in loads of other places I was known as Pip, but in Pizza, I was still known as David Meads.

and then I invented the Meadsie bass. So I'm going to have a Meadze base A Meadze base. And the way I created that And I'll make it from myself. We will need to tell the kitchen how to make this. Yes, I've written crusts here, right? Yes, sure. Just slap out a thin crust.

Sprinkle it with cheese. Then pop another thin crust on top of it. So we've got this cheese in case base. Now the problem you're probably thinking there is but Pip is the cheese is going to bubble out of the sides. Yeah, I thought so. How do you seal that?

Stuff the crust, fold it over, stuff the crust. So we've got a stuffed crust. So cheese in the crust and in the base. Yeah. And then the toppings, the sauce and the toppings on top.

So you've got a stuffed base pizza. What cheese are you putting in there? Again, I've gone for the four cheese mix because it's, again, a smoother blend. Yeah. It gives a nice smooth melt. So you've had that on the garlic bread.

Yeah. And now that's in the main course as well. That's in the main course. I'm going to be. It's in the main course. Is it going to be cheesecake? What I love the best about cocking is that you can have relatively small amounts of ingredients. This one particular is just three.

But when you put them together, it's more than the sum of its parts. So your three ingredients are tea and Maria, vodka, and half a pint of Guinness. Oh, yes. Right? I'm not being funny. When you get yourself a half pint, you pour in your shot, to Maria, you pour on your shot of vodka and you fill it up with your

Guinness, ideally from the draft or with a widget, you know. We can have, it's the dream restaurant, it's the draft. If you sip it, chocolate. Pure chocolate. And it's called Deaths by Chocolate. Oh, lovely.

I like a sweet, boozy cocktail. Yeah, I'm a peanut cladour man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, yeah, some of it just tastes perfectly like chocolate, but it's actually three types of booze. Pretty great. Yeah, and tell you who gave me that recipe, was Ian Brown from the Stone Roses.

Did he now? Yeah. And it's the best gift you can give somebody. It's a gift of ideas like that. Yeah, absolutely. That's stay with it all your life. And if you don't like a Christmas shopping, you go into an old pub,

you have half a pint of that stuff, or even two, and then you lose it. Then you lose all the history. No, and then it makes Christmas shopping kind of bearable Because you just don't care Have you guys ever been to man versus food In Heathrow? No

Hold on, what, there's a man versus food So like the program Like, is it official? Is it officially things? I don't know if it's official Well, they've got that, I'm probably going to get on closed down now on sued for using that But the restaurant, it's literally called man versus food

And they have like all these different like dishes in there No, no, it's like about 10, 15 minutes from the airport Oh, okay. You know where you're saying P-thro we think of the airport, you know, have you guys ever been to Sky? You know, like the huge... It's like a little city in there where they record all their programs and stuff? Yes, yeah, yeah.

You know, it's opposite that Tesco. It's literally right there. Right, okay. Okay. So in there, we went for a stag dude, everyone had to try a different challenge. So a couple of boys tried this thing. I think it's called Fire in the Hole.

So there's like all... All there's loads of challenges. All food challenges. All food challenges. All food challenges. It's like the actual... So there's like a three-foot hot. dog. There's like

all this crazy stuff you have time limits and their biggest challenge is called the gut buster and it's a burger that weighs I think it's just over half a stone

so people normally people order it as a birthday cake so it comes out and I don't mean like a normal like a little birthday cake it's usually like this and it's like really tall as well and it's got

it's stupid it's got like three packs of cheese in it they have to use two bottles of ketchup it is insane and we all we all try so the burger costs I think it's like 60 quid and if you finish it they give you

250 pound on your whole table eats for free but obviously I think five of us bought the burger and none of them one each one each one each not one of us not one of us got close to finish of it of course you didn't there's three packs of cheese in it literally not one of us got close I have like I think I got about a third

the closest person was one of our friends called Mitch and he's I think he's five he's five foot four and he ate the burgers is as big as he And he pretty much ate the entire thing. It was insane. Hold on so how close did Mitch get? Mitch got,

I'm talking about like, there was probably a normal size burger left. What's he playing out? Oh, 50 quid in the whole meal. Come on much. Everyone has spent 60 quid on a burger. Mitch can't just force down with one burgers.

I know. He couldn't finish it. But that's what I want because the burger itself, you know if you think, if you've got to cook, a patty that big, it's going to be like not very cooked nicely on the inside of a burger. on the outside.

I don't know how they do it, but it is cooked. So good. Imagine a giant five guys burger. Yeah. I love four. Does anyone hear about five guys? I like five guys.

This is a constant debate between me and Ed. Okay. Who are you reping? Well, Shake Shack I enjoyed more when I had it. Shake Shack's good. But I've never had it in England. I only had it in.

Me too. So I'm thinking of eating it in the States and eating five guys in the States. And I've had five guys here and I think it's fine. And I think the chips are nice. Okay. But all about the topic. I heard this to you a million times

Five guys is about choosing the right toppings What you're going to find your right combination of toppings It's this amazing A burger shouldn't be about the toppings It should be about the burger Oh here we go The eternal debate Yeah it should be about the quality of the patty James

The patty's great If you're going on six different toppings on there All you're doing is masking a bad patty No no no no not at all Even though we're talking about It's complimenting the patty It all complements each other And then like, look, I've been in Shake Shack and got their burgers

and they're all right. I think their patties are too thin, personally. He has got a point in LL. I don't mind lots of thin patties. There's places that do like smashed patties that you can, lots of thin patties. In and out's the best, I told you that. Oh, see, I'm, I wasn't a huge,

I was so disappointed within an out burger. Yes. Because it was good, but I was like, this is just a burger. Like, everyone spoke about it. Like, if you go L.A. and you don't get it in and out. There's something wrong with you missing out. It's got cult status. but I prefer a thicker patty anyway.

I'd prefer to go to something like Honest Burger or Patty and Bun. No. Absolutely not. Are you that way? Honest Burger and five and all that stuff. I was like, that's fine. I'm not into him as much.

I thought, for a while I was like, though, okay, but I think they're two filling. And they're not as, like, when Jordan described that flavor of that burger then, yeah, like you say, I imagine like five guys and stuff like that. What, that one's not two filling? Jordan's burger. The 60 quid,

They're cake-sized burgers. Mixed it all right. Mexted it all right. See, I thought it'd be really cool, right? To have like a Sunday roast sandwich where the sandwich is actually the Yorkshire pudding and then you have like some Yorkshire pudding type

is it, it's not dough, is it? It's like... Batter? Batter, yeah. So like Yorkshire pudding batter as a top and bottom and then you have like the roast beef, maybe some roast chicken and then you have the

roast potatoes kind of mushed up in between there with a bit of a gravy drizzled over the top and I think that's like you know that could be like a whole new thing

That'd be a great sandwich I'll eat that Now I've seen somewhere I can't remember where it was what show it was and whereabouts in the country it was but there is a place that does Yorkshire pudding

wraps so what they do is they bake the Yorkshire pudding batter just not in the normal shapes so it's just a sheet of Yorkshire pudding and then they're put in like roast dinner stuff and they think they do like a cook breakfast one as well and roll it up so you've got just like a rap a yorkshire pudding wrap i want to know if anybody in the country

knows where this place is right tweet me or instagram me or whatever all of us hit us all up dynamo magician you can find me you know i'm about let us know uh because i want to go to this restaurant so i'm there like this sounds like like sorry i know i know you you guys are going to dream up my dream meal. Yeah. But I think Ed's already found it. Yeah, yeah. That's it.

That's the one. Whoa, whoa. Whoa. I think, uh, I think the gut buster burger from Jordan Banjo and the revelation of Mitch is one of my favorite things that's ever been on the podcast. You liked it very much when Jordan tweeted a photo of Mitch afterwards. You got to see how short Mitch watch. Yeah, because some, Jordan said my friend Mitch is quite short. Uh, and obviously we all go, we all make fun of our friends sometimes.

And even if they're a little bit short, we'll be like, oh, it's, You're a little short one And Jordan's very tall So a lot of people are short Mitch is real short Imagining him eat a gutbuster burger Is hilarious Very funny

You can go on Twitter You can probably track down that picture But he was the same height As a gutbuster burger was Also shout out to Dynamo for the Yorkshire pudding wraps But I still don't like Yorkshire pudding Sorry

I had a Yorkshire pudding wrap On Dynamo's recommendation It was absolutely delicious I loved it so much Thank you Dynamo I had it in Leeds In a from the Yorkshire Pudding Wrap Company

And I've got to say as well, I don't know if you wouldn't have seen this because you're not on Twitter anymore, James. I was tweeted yesterday by the Yorkshire Pudding Festival, offering us a role as judges at the Yorkshire Pudding Festival. I hope you said yes. I have ignored it. Yes. So quite often, James, guests have revealed amazing things about themselves. That's what this podcast is not credited for. People always think about the food.

But what this podcast actually does is it gets the big celebrity scoops. We've had revelations from so many people, from Rose McGowan to Ashland Beach. from Serge from Cusavian to Doroa Brien, loyal Kana, and even Krishna Guru Murphy. Well, that's good that you've listed those people because that's exactly who features in this tiny package. Coincidence. I'm what they call a supertaster. I have extraordinary taste buds.

But, no, but things that are very mild tasting, other people taste like a lot to me. Oh, is this an actual thing I've never heard of a supertasting? This is a, a actual thing. It's an actual thing. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, so things like tapioca, which tastes like. like nothing to most people, I think, tastes like a lot to me.

Wow. So this kind of explains as well why you don't like... Too many ingredients. Gourmet food, too many ingredients, like that. It's literally too much for me almost, yeah. When did you find out you're a supertaster? About five years ago. I did a series of tests at Harvard, actually, because I lost my smell in a freak accident, my sense of smell. But they were studying me because I could still taste. Right. Oh, wow.

Which is, you know, it's normally interrelated. And I got hit in the head with a car door in a freak valet accident in Los Angeles. You know how that happens. Yes. And it knocked, if you get hit, I guess, because I know a snowboarder, the same thing, he hit his head in this one same spot. And it just, he could still taste as well. Right.

But he also hit his head again, like a year later and it came back. So I'm hoping that if I just get in the freak car accident again. Just keep looking for clumsy valets. Just keep looking for clumsy valets. Yeah. Wow. So, car door, hit your head. your sense of smell,

but then is that when you became a supertaster, or you were a supertaster before? Quite possibly. I think I might have been before, but you don't notice it as much with a sense of smell. It's a cool origin story if you became a supertaster because of the car door. I think I did because before I never noticed, but afterwards everything became kind of like a taste explosion and too much. Oh, there's a comic book in that as well.

That's crazy as well because I thought the sense of smell would enhance, would make things taste more. They're connected, right? Yeah. Right. But instead losing it made you the supertaster. For me, yes. Wow.

But that's also why they were studying me at Harvard Medical School because, but then my doctor died of a brain tumor and that study ended. Sorry, rest in peace. Wow. Now you know the saga. What a twist. You did not build us up to that in any way. No, I'm sorry.

I just brought Debbie down her right there. Here's an interesting thing, if you want another celebrity fact, because, you know, I'm absolutely being Toad's Hollywood. Yeah, yeah. Arriving 20 minutes late. Yeah. Which you still yet to apologize to me for? so I'm working on this Netflix show at the moment with Paul Rudd

and I don't think he'll mind me telling this because I think it's mad Paul doesn't like sauces what that is very odd what a weird Hollywood doesn't like sauce no mustard no yeah we've gone for food and we're eating together lunches and stuff he doesn't no vinegrets no mustard no ketchupette I'm talking about a man who'll order chips or fries, as we call them. So you just eat them dry? Dry. Chicken dry.

Everything dry. No sauces. Big bowl of sand, please, for Paul Rose. Does he not order dishes that already come in sauce? He orders things, well, he'd order things and can I get no sauce over that? Or like, does it come with mustard or anything? Or he'd have a burger, no ketchup or mustard. Right.

What? The nearest thing to a sauce will be melted cheese. What brings you joy, Paul Rudd? Absolutely nothing. Dryness. like, and I still got this to this day, just a little example of how it bad it was. Like, I couldn't eat if a magician

was on the teller. I'm not even joking. What are you talking about? Still to this day, it freaks me. I'm not often surprised, Serge. I think, you know, working in comedy quite often, you can sort of see where the left turns are going to come in. That took me by surprise.

Honestly, like, it's not even, it's not even like, it's the just a problem. Every night and again, you know, like a Sunday, there'd be like a magician. It was more those dove ones, the 80s ones. Yeah, with the white gloves and stuff. Still now.

You know what? The next level is the unmasked magician. That does me even more. The guy with the white mask on. It's like the peasant. Still, I could go now. Like, it makes me bath, man. So you wouldn't be able to eat

if there was a magician or 10 because it made you feel sick. Yeah, yeah. And I would like, I would gag. Like, I'd be bad, man. Like, I'd be around mates' houses. And they'd bring food and be like, How that? Bad. Once again, they're watching a magic show.

If there was a magician on the telly then, I was... Would they know, would they do it on purpose? They'd like order a pizza room for a David Copperfield video. They were just like, they were just used to take the piss, like a weird kid coming around that don't eat anything. If there's a magician... Just give them a slice of white bread, you'll be fine. But did they all know about the magician thing?

No, that's kind of kept it quiet, just so they wouldn't put Paul Daniels on when they came around. Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't want Paul Daniels on it. David Copperfield. Yeah. Weird, man. That's kind of the level I was out. Oh man, that's, I've never, I mean

It's the props You know, the look of them, I can smell it I think I've got some, like, thing You know, you see, like, colour, like, smell Some weird set over-sensitive things going on Siniseer, is it, is called? It's when you see colours and something, it's not, Yeah, synestager is when you can see,

Yeah, you can see colours Whatever that is, but like, food version, yeah, you've got that, but you can smell a magician. You can smell a magician, you can smell all of his kit. Props. Yeah, it's got, Oh, man, it's just a kit. No, all of it smells like, that's disgusting.

I see what it smells like inside that, like, box they get cutting off, man. Oh, yeah, that's sweaty and normal. Yeah. No, no. You imagine what it smells like in the box when they get that in half. And I've got my writing wine. Right, okay. I've got riding wines, and then I've got, you know,

their writing ones are quite different either to drinkers or to, um, they won't see as wines I don't know if you write with wine No, but I love this I love that you sit I imagine you put some spectacles on and get a glass of wine Well I put spectacles on

Because I need to wear spectacles That is the thing You've not seen them publicly But they only I mean Pretty pretentious We've just We've just increased a font size

On the other queue But eventually that will run out And I will have to unleash my glass I only got glasses in the last year And I have for some reason stumbled on A wireframe glass which are either a Swedish architect

or Nazi bad guy in races in the last dark somewhere really those two looks yeah the and uh but no the uh there's a mirless rubicon which is South African wine which is my choice of writing wine so too expensive you know and buy two glasses in

that stuff is kind of flowing and then on the fourth glass I'm just so happy with how good it was an hour earlier and God I used to be so funny then and the fifth glass is like I really should I've really

got there's nothing good happening here so I find because I don't know if you're like there's only a small window of of useful time when you're writing stuff I think that's yeah yeah creatively you can create for a couple of hours really usefully so I timed that with wine yeah you have a little

little treat alongside it I think that you know because then you have to react off something as well and if you're sitting on your own just to knock yourself slightly off your axis with a little bit of you know get a little bit of a buzz on then I'm going to try that I honestly recommend It's a great thing. I've seen my next show.

You don't perform it drunk. But it just for those... Well, if you write it, if you write it drunk, I think you're going to have to have performing wine as well. Yeah, yeah. I've never thought of performing wine. Performing wine. That is a level of...

Even I didn't think to bring to it. Do you believe in beer than wine feeling fine, wine than beer, oh dear? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that is usually like I have a soup and go, I better save that till later. Yeah.

Have a few beers in them. Yeah. About 10. Because you are a rapper, do you feel like you have to agree with everything that rhymes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much. Because if someone posts you with a rhyme like that, you have to believe it. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Oh, that was just me saying the rhyme, by the way, I wasn't trying to start a battle.

No, no, that's cool, it's cool. If you do want to battle it at any time you can, it's fine. But that's the only rhyme I know. So whatever you say to me, I'll just say wine and then beer. Ed knows other rhymes. Well, you know, you know. Whoever's felt where dealt with it. Yeah.

That's a big one of the few that I don't That's one that only rhymes I don't believe in Yeah yeah that yeah exactly Yeah Because it's rubbish right Yeah yeah well it's just when you No one has ever farted

And then gone Ugh who did that And then drawn attention to it No one's ever done that It's never the move That would be such a stupid move Yeah Yeah that's one of the only

Yeah yeah You obviously did that Yeah But then also what is equally stupid Is whoever did the rhyme Did the crime Because you just did a rhyme Yeah

So what the hell is that? It should be whoever did the rhyme, did a fart. And then it's like, okay, yeah, good point. Because I'm going to, you're not rhyming. But I did rhyme a minute ago when I said, whoever spelt it, dealt it. That would be a great, I'd love to go and do a rap battle one day and just do those rhymes back to what I've said to me.

Do it, yeah. Just point of them. Yeah. I might just go to the rap battle and not even do a, I'd just point in them and say, you've, this guy farting. I'd just say that every time. Beans, beans, beans, the music.

fruit the more you eat the more you two yeah that was true yeah you are like a battle rapper yeah right I don't want to get into it we all feel like we're on edge we're in the cross fight eight mile that would be a better version of eight mile have you done about battles before only with friends I used to be friends before I beat them yeah destroyed them no I did when I was when I was much younger when I was at primary school I used to happen every lunchtime oh cool but that was just obviously

stupid stuff no I haven't Like me and my friend talks about doing it together As a double act But as soon as you start making any sort of noise about what you're doing You have too much to lose But yeah, you know If anyone ever wrote anything from me I'd have to write something back

So that's just Yeah Is there anyone in particular Who you would like to have a mat battle with Do you know I'd actually like to have a rap battle with my old English teacher Yes Because he was a poetry wizard

And I reckon that it would be intense because I got a lot of stuff on him he's also got a lot of stuff on me you know yeah yeah but I probably got more on him do you want to call him out now do you want to use this as a platform to call him out no I don't do you know what no because I think he might actually beat me I don't actually don't this guy yeah Mark grist no oh yeah that did it has happened hasn't it

yeah that was Blizzard blizzard battled Mark grist that was a long time ago Mark grist going around everyone thought it's really great I watch it back now and I'm like Mark grist ain't that tough yeah yeah no he didn't he didn't really have it at the time he did because I was like Oh, God, I'm 14, and there's a teacher of rap better in, but it wasn't. That was pre-Brexit. Yeah, yeah. Do you know how I watch it?

I'm like, fuck it, what's your game? I know who I'd rap battle. Yeah? I think he's out. He's rusty as well. He's been out of practice. And shit. But he thinks he's wicked. I'd annihilate him. Yes. I might text him actually after this and tell him that's on. Yeah. Actually, you text him and telling him that I'm going to give him. You've called him out. With pleasure. Yeah, fuck that guy. I think she tells us about hip-hop. I'm still pro curly fries. Yeah, I love them. You don't see them in a lot of places. I'm trying to think where I've seen curly fries.

They're starting to kind of like, yeah. I can't recall having curly fries. Wow. You've never had them. There's a place in Hammersmith Grove. I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think where I may have had curly fries. I can't think.

I don't know why they're not on every menu that has chips. Should be. Because sweet potato fries are big now. I don't know why curly fries aren't available. I would choose curly fries over sweet potato fries in a heartbeat. In a heartbeat. They've always got like occasion seasoning on them.

Seasoning's great. So great. Oh, mum of me. Are they curly as in, just curly as in a chip that's curved? It's like a spring? No, they're spirals. Coiled like a spring.

Yeah, they're coiled like a spring. Oh, a spiral? Yeah. So you get different textures. I've never seen that. It's crispy on the ends. You never seen it? Hold on. Where do you eat?

Are we telling you about? You've never seen a curly fry? I've never seen a curly fry. Yeah, where do you even know? You even know that was a finish? No. Holy? We're getting, exclusives on this podcast.

Christian and Guru Murphy has never seen a curly fry before the past time. We're telling, we're telling Christian in the news. You must have not been in the news when they got curly fries. He must have been out. Hugh Evans was in that day. He knows all about girly fries.

He's all over curly fries. No, seriously, where did you get a curly fry? Well, this is a good question. I'm going to... You can buy them and take them home. then in supermarkets in batch. Oh, I see, okay. But you can also get them in,

there's some, like, I would say there's a lot of places that are like, you know, like family pub places that have, like, maybe soft play areas and stuff. We'd have it as an item on the menu, like, want to upgrade to curly fries? Why don't you have curly fries? 50p extra or whatever, have some curly fries.

Okay. Do they have, like, peri, peri salt on them or something like that? Kind of a spicy cajan. Papri, here is a sentence I never thought I'd say, I'm about to show Christian and Gruberthi a picture of a curly fries. Okay, here we go.

That's what we're talking about. Oh, that doesn't look nice. The first time I've seen a curly fry. That is a particularly long curly fry. That's a not a big one. That's a really long one. That's the size of a jumbo sausage, yeah. And thank you very much, everyone who has tweeted Christian and Guru Murphy since this episode went out,

saying, what about these ones? What about these ones? And people still do it. It's really funny. I really love seeing that people only. listening to it for the first time and tweeting him out of the blue saying what about these ones and hopefully this will reignite that tweet christina guru murthy with a picture of curly fries say what about these ones yes yes please oh some great great revelations there uh you know what

i love just as much as revelations what is anecdotes i love riveting stories we are the parkinson and jonathan ross of food based podcast that is correct we get out the good anecdotes and graham norton shout out to graham norton yeah benito's graham norton so graham norton jonathan Ross and Michael Parkinson. Yes. All mixed up. So we've got some, we've had some great anecdotes on the off-menu podcast. Not least of all from Jamie Demetri, Tom Allen and Phil Wang.

Oh, let's have a listen. I have a question for you about something that I know you've eaten and I've seen you eat. I wanted to know what it was like. What? James has been watching you for many weeks. Yes. What was the marmalade sandwich like in Pattonton 2? Oh, right.

Okay. Well, um... Because you made it look any nice. Do you know what? It was... You've eaten a Padden sandwich sandwich. Amazingly phenomenal. I mean, they were...

Did you actually have marmalade in it? Yeah. So you had a proper marmalade sandwich for you? Yeah. I'll tell you what. It was such a relief as well because, I mean, by the way, for any listeners, you won't know I'm in Paddington because I'm in it for one second.

But I played a prisoner in that and there's a scene where... So the prisoners were livid because they have to eat gruel all the time. Yeah. And I mean, as authentic as they wanted to make the marmalade delicious, they made the gruel disgusting. Right. It was like a key. quinoa, a cold, sludgy quinoa porridge with like bits that you couldn't identify it.

But we had to eat it because there were loads of close-ups where all they wanted to get was like you eating the food. And there's a few scenes where I'm sat next to Paddington. I got a two shot with Paddington. But yeah, so the gruel was like disgusting. And then the scene comes where Paddington makes everyone sandwiches. And they're fucking nice. Can we swear on this? Yeah.

I mean, it was the perfect marmalade. Thanks, I'm really happy to hear this. A certain, like... That the Paddington sandwiches are as nice as they should be. I'm just going... I've got a... I'm calling bullshit on this. I'm in trouble.

Wait, wait. This is such a massive turnaround for you. For years, James refused to watch the Paddington films. Oh, really? Well, the first one. And then, because he thought the bear was weird and creepy. No, shifty and creepy. And I was like, mate, you've got to watch Paddington.

It's a fucking brilliant film. He's like, no, absolutely. Not the bear. Shifty and creepy. I hate that. that bear. Yeah, that's what I said, and I stand, oh, I stand by it. You don't stand by it, because then you went and watched, have you seen the first one yet? Shifty and creepy. Yeah, I watched both of them in one day over Christmas and I loved him, and so magical.

Yeah, because it's funny, near perfect films. It was amazing, yeah, the second one especially, oh, I love it so much. Every single bit of it was amazing, I got over the fact that the bear is the creepiest thing in the world. Where's the shift? Where's the shiftiness? His shifty eyes, his eyes are all shifty. His eyes are all shifty. He is a very magical bear. He looks around all shifty, and he's a very creepy. So I've got to call bullshit on this. You can't come out repping for Paddington suddenly.

Well, I can. Hey, this is a good thing to do in this day and age. So many people now refusing to change their opinions and arguing with each other. I'm just showing people. You can do a turn around. Sure. People will criticise you for changing your opinions, but, you know, I think I'm right now. I think that those Palatinton films are magical and wonderful.

And I also think I was right to initially think the bear was shifty and creepy. I'm 17 years old. I've taken the day of school. because I've told the school I'm going to go and look at university in Exeter. What I'm actually doing is I'm truanting with my next-door neighbours, Jean and Dennis, and my mum and dad.

Hold on. Gene and Dennis? Yes. How old are they? About 90 at the moment. 90? 90. So when you were 17,

Dennis is 90, Jean is pretty much younger. You were truanting with how old were they at the time? Early 70s. You were truanting with a couple in their elderly 70s? 60s 70s, yeah. Gene and Dennis? Jim Dennis from a star.

Yeah. What, I don't see what so very much. I think you've got to know what details in stories need expanded on. And aren't as normal as you think. I was truanting with my neighbours, Jean and Dennis. I don't think that's truiting. What is it? Well, going away with some responsible adults.

Okay, fine. Yeah. I guess if you would, were they like, you know, John of Bunk off school? They came around the school gates. Yeah. No, it was arranged with my mom and dad Who were coming as well

So they were there as well? Yeah, they were also part of this. So why did you lie to the school? Because I was embarrassed to say Please can I have a day off So I can go out to lunch So I said I'm going to go to Exeter University

To have a look round on the open day Knowing full well I had no intention of going all that way To university Didn't even want to go to university by that point But I was prepared to use it I never went to university So the full gang

There's five of us Yeah Gene Dennis, mum dad, me The truets The truants Um The truants.

Absconding Not only from the school But from the country Yeah From the country Because we were going to France We got up very early We got in the car

Um I think my dad may have borrowed a car At this point From his friends Um It's slightly bigger We went down we got the early ferry

on which we had a croissant, which to me at this point was extremely, one might say, impossibly glamorous. Yeah. Then we arrived in Calais, right?

We then went to a supermarche. What a truant's day. The best truant in the most people do truant, they're like, you know, they go down like a car park

and throw rocks at cars and stuff or like they, hang about smoking with their mates. You guys went to France with jean and tennis. You learnt the word supermaché. You did more school work on your truant day than you would have done a school. I wasn't even doing air level French. Do you know what I mean?

Very, very dedicated. We went to the supermache. We stocked up on French produce. Wines. And then we went for lunch at a restaurant, which I, restaurant, which I believe still stands called La Chanel. The channel. Right on the harbour side.

Yes. On France. On Calais. A calais? Don's la Calais. We were truant in. We're truan. Juana, the restaurant.

Jean and Denis. Do you know what? Dennis has only got one end. So he is Denny? He's Denis. He's Denis? And we went in there, right? Dennis speaks a bit of French

because he went motorbiking around France after the end of the Second World War. Of course. Yeah. A little victory lap. A victory lap. on a motorcycle. And so he speaks with French.

And we went in there, and it was a classically formal French restaurant restaurant. Have you ever been to one like that, James? I think you have, because I think your parents went to France. A really formal one. A really formal French restaurant.

Ed Gammon, have you been? I feel like I have been. They're sort of like high back chairs. Yes. Very crisp white linen. A great formality of the service, which is an easy elegance about it. Yeah.

Sit down in the window. I didn't know what to make of it. I was like, I'd never been in a restaurant like this before. Yeah. An upholstered chair like it, I'd never been in. Yeah. And then your teacher stormed in, Tom Allen. I'm not to get a ferry here.

We followed you. Hide your honey with yourself. And I was dragged back. No. Dennis ordered a gervostramina. Gervostramine, because it's an Alsat's wine. And it's French, not Gavostramana. Alcels, of course, very contentious area.

If you know, Second World. Which Dennis did, of course. Which, of course. Dennis did. And Giversrammeni, delicious wine. And I was ordered the foie de mare. Have you ever had the foie de mare? Fruits of the sea.

Fruits of the sea. If you will. Seafood. Seafood. If you want to be unbearably plebeian. I'm just for our listener, who might not have had, C de mare before. Tom had free demer

with Jean and Denis when he was trunting from a call Decoe I sent back my first ever bottle of wine in New York at a restaurant Yeah He sent a bottle back It was

I don't think I've met anyone who sent a bottle back Apart from my dad My scene that was just him being difficult I think I was being difficult Because it was an expensive bottle of wine Yeah Although because it was at a restaurant It might have retailed for like $30

and they pumped up to 150 whatever and it was a hermitage and I tasted it and I thought it'll probably mellow out and I thought yeah that's fine so you didn't do it at that stage you didn't do it at the taste stage

yeah I know which I feel bad about glass mowed away but with each sip it didn't get better it just kept being really sour around the mouth where I guess it would and eventually I said to you are you like are enjoying this and they said I don't love it so I thought I'm going to I'm going to do it I'm going to say this is corked at this point

at this point how are you feeling physically when you decided you were going to do it I couldn't feel my fingers yeah I was terrified because it's quite a fancy restaurant yeah and and so the wait just came back and I said sorry I think this might be corked my heart is like do do do do and she goes oh really okay

I'll just go get our sommelier oh no the big boy the headmaster of wines slice down his fireman's pole into the

that was scary and I was like yeah cool you bring that piece of shit and so she goes off with the bottle and I see

in the corner she gives it to him and he takes a so you can see all this playing out he can't see me he's twidding his mustache this

he gives the bottle of whiff and he makes this sort of wince face and now the wince I can't tell if it's ooh that is bad or this guy doesn't know what he's talking about because that's the same wince it's the same face classically that is exactly the same wince

it is disgust it's the same emotion and so then he comes around and just behind our table he gets himself a glass and he pours a little bit on his drink and he takes a sit and he comes over and he leans to me and I'm just losing my

mind. And he says, this isn't corked. And now I'm in flight to fight to flight. I'm like, either I go, oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'll give you a kiss on the head. I'm real, please don't kill me. Or

double down. And so I double down. Wow. And I go, really? It tastes very acrid. I thought, I'll pick a different word for sour. Yes, mate. It tastes everywhere. Sour. A big addiction with you, some mealy egg twat.

And he goes, that's quite, it's got a brown, that's a syra taste. And then he said, it's actually rather lovely, which I think was his, that was his, that was his, hullabaloo. Yeah, I think. He was trying. Yeah, yeah. His hullabaloo. And I said,

oh, I don't know. And he said, well, if I get you another bottle, it'll probably taste the same. And so I said, we'll get something else then. And so I got a bottle of chateau de pap, because you can't. go wrong really and he said okay lovely great and you got this a shut enough to pub and he tried it

and he was like that okay and it was actually still a bit of sour but i said yeah that'll be fine were you like also eating like sour skittles i was brushing my teeth i was brushing my teeth at the time i don't know if that changes anything still so proud of phil for sending that wine back i still would never do that respect that man so much he's an icon to me he really is that guy's an icon The windback. Well, Ed, I'm having so much fun listening to all of these. Such happy memories for me.

All of these. Well, they may be happy memories, but my favourite part of the off-manue podcast is when you're not happy. Huh? Because people come in here and deliberately wind you up. Oh, no.

I love it, James. I'm pleased, I hope you're not about to play clips from Kevin Goddhlin, Jess Phillips, Daisy May Cooper, Joe Leicester and Victoria, Coren Mitchell. I am indeed. They really, really wound you up and I loved every second of it.

Oh, my God. Let's hear it. I've got a bones pick with you about. There were lots of people. I went to New York recently for a family holiday at New Year. And James, very kindly, among a group of friends, recommended lots of places to eat. So I put them all together.

I was really pleased with my skills because I put them all together in one document and I had a huge list of recommendations. And I felt really organized and I had that with the passport and all the flight details. Get to the airport, go to check in. Hadn't done those ester forms.

So couldn't go to a... Couldn't go to a... America. So I had, I don't know. This is a bone to pick with me. Yes, it is because no one,

everyone recommended, oh, go to this vegan diner, eat these noodles. No one said you can't get into the fucking country to eat the food if you haven't done the basic visa. That's not part of it.

Because of the food recommendations, I think, oh, by the way, you also want to get on this flight. Before you sat noodles, woggles, any of it, you go, you have done your rest of form. Yeah, but you've not, you've not asked them for recommendations

about how to get into America? A footnote of being in the country to eat the food is, can I get into the country? You're not asking me of sort of. I thought they've been patronising of me. Well, that's the problem. Never be scared of patronising me because you're probably pointing out something I've overlooked.

We missed our flight. I've rang you and said, James, we've just missed our flight. So thanks for the diner recommendation. But we've missed our flight. A price and not one... No. One basic...

But what did you ask for? What did you ask for? I did ask for food recommendations? Can I have some food recommendations? Yes. And it's fair to assume that I knew because I had been to America before. I was going to say, oh yeah. I'm going to say you've definitely been to America before.

Little tip as well, don't eat your Esther. I hope you've got fats. Well, if you said that, you'd have done it unpatronisingly with humour and I would have got the information. I'm not going to. I actually assumed you would have done it. Okay, I, yeah, everyone assumed that and I had it. You've got a high opinion of you?

Well, lower it. You've definitely been to America before Yes Worked in America Yes It's worth it But because I worked there I think someone else filled the forms

Well you would have had a visa If you had a working visa Someone else did it A grown up filled in the form Yeah I hate forms Ed But that's an online The Esther thing

It's so easy to do Oh is it It's so easy to do It's so easy to do At the airport Having a panic attack With crying children Oh we're not

It seems not No Because James Akecaste Because James Akecaste Told us where to get The best Nicobock of Glory I mean, I would always have cheese Yes! Yes! Yes!

Fuck! You, Jess! The first person, and I'm so on board with it. No, God! Jesus gross! That came out of nowhere. There were so many warning signs along the way. Breakfast for dinner, sucking a flannel, so much stuff,

but should have tipped me off that the cheese was coming round the bed that I didn't see it coming. I'm annoyed in myself but I didn't see this coming. Oh, God. Is that your official choice? Yeah, we have cheese. Oh, I want to cry.

Take us through the cheeses you'd like on your cheeseboard, please, Jess. Right. There's no one ever said that before. No, I'm sorry. Stang's just turned his microphone around. I can't speak into it. I mean, you've got to have

like a blue, a hard cheese, soft cheese. I'd say sheep's cheese and a goat. Lovely. It's what I'd go for. And I would always, you know, I'd really like those crackers

yeah, that have like sort of cherries in them or, oh yeah, or like the fruit that are really like brittle. Yeah. I love that. They're really good. I love those.

So yeah, I'd go for that. James? Well, thanks for coming in, James. Your book is available, Trim of Power. And we'll go and buy that.

Jesus. Oh, Matt. Oh, Jesus. I love that. What do you want for dessert? What's a dessert? It's going to be so cross. A Pizza Hut salad with only croutes, bacon bits.

That's not! No! Let this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Please let Daisy finish. The fuck! This is... This is the best thing that's ever happened on this podcast. What are you doing?

Please let it play out. A pizza hat salad with just the croutons, the bacon bits, the cubes of beetroot and the honey in my suggestion. Lovely, a bit of sweetness from the honey. Fuck you. But 70% croutons. 70% croutons. When did you decide on this?

Do you know all the time when you're waiting here in the car, you're going to say this shit? Lining that up as your dessert. 70% croutons, right? What part of you justifies that as a dessert? How are you even justifying this? I just love a pizza hat salad. Oh, good on you.

Have it as a starter. I don't want it as my starter. No, as my dessert. You can't have it as you dessert. You can, because you get the, go up as many as you tie, as many times as you like salad bowl. Yeah. For my dessert, I'll always go up at the end of my pizza.

You should be banned for pizza. And order the, you get the same. When everybody's having their dessert. A salad is refreshing, isn't it? So it just, you know, you've had. Well, the cretons. He doesn't even believe what he's saying. Bacon bits, yeah, I suppose it's a refreshing

under the honey mustard dressing. Yeah, lovely, and bit of sweetness from the honey. You said that before. You said bit of sweetness from the honey. That is not good enough. That makes it a dessert. It does not make it a dessert. You know it.

You don't even believe what you're saying now. I do. It sounds like a lovely dessert. You do not believe what you're saying. Cleanses the palate. You're like, Pierce Morgan. You're not better than Pierce Morgan right now, Ed. You're just deliberately being controversial and trolling me.

And Davey, oh my God. Well, technically, Daisy's whole meal has been a dessert because she's eating with a spoon. Yeah, you eat it all. A big old china spoon. Oh, I cannot believe this. Oh, that's my favourite dessert ever. It's not your favourite dessert ever.

A bacon salad. A bacon salad that you got for a little... Well, actually, the bacon bits are not even actual bacon. No, they're vegan, aren't they? I don't know. Yeah, they are. They are. Weird, crunchy bits.

Yeah. Lovely. Texture. There's texture there. There's sweetness from the honey of course. Is there not one pudding that you like? That you could have choked. There's not like a pudding that you've had before that you've thought you're flavorless.

You're having a goddamn salad, mate. You're talking about flavor. Oh, that's what jumps to mine as soon as I think of flavor. It's a fucking salad. With mainly croutons in it. Oh. Flavour Town. I just love the idea.

Be still my jumping taste buds at this bread salad I'm eating. I love the idea that guests are now just coming on to troll you, James. Absolutely insane. Absolutely bananas. What a life. This is going to break the internet.

I can't wait. Has this upset you more than the pigs killing themselves? Yeah. I would rather watch a swarm of pigs swimming around in a pool, slit in their own

throat, then you eating your bread salad and called it a dessert. I would rather watch Chuckie have the news of his mum's death broken to him again to watch you go up to the Pizza Hut buffet in plain sight

and claim that you're going to get your pudding. That's what I would rather happen. Okay, James, let's read the order back. I've decided. It's a bowl of special K with Oakley Barista milk What the What in God's

name Special K Oakley Barista milk A bowl of cereal No sugar What What fuck is what matter with you How can you have a crispy cream

burger And then your dessert Is just a bowl of cereal Yeah I fucking love cereal James I've got nothing against cereal whatsoever, but the fact that it's your dream

dessert is a bowl of special... Also... No sugar. No sugar. No sugar. No sugar. Also, even if it was just a cereal round, Special K, I'd be kicking off. That's your favourite cereal. Is it a bowl of special K? Is it even the berries special K? No. It's just

plain special K. And the other two choices were Wheatibix or Brand Flakes. God or Foy. I was really... I was really... I'ming and because currently I'm doing brand flakes of my cereal of choice just because I'm trying to be a bit healthier. Yeah, sure.

But I've actually fallen deeply in love with bran flakes. So, bran flakes was... So you wouldn't want that as you dessert, would you? Get rid of the thing that you're deeply in love with and choose the special K. Well, no, special K feels like a treat. Right, well, that's...

Because it's a bit sweeter. And it pairs very well with agave. It does pair it well with agave. How is that a treat? It's so nice. I love cereal. You've just had a burger donut. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, and now a little treat. Some special K for myself. Yeah. Indulgence. It's rehydrating because it's all of the lovely milk. And that's a key part of it as well. It's the Oatley Barista Edition milk, which is posh.

That's a posh milk. It's hard to find. Sounds delicious. Fine, you've got some posh milk. Yeah. On your appalling cereal choice. Why is Special K appalling? Look, I've gone through Special K faces before,

but not because I like it, just because I'm trying to be a good boy. I should clarify by Special Kaya, do mean Ketamine. Apologies, yes, absolutely fine. But the milk is now an odd choice But like fair enough What does that go better With an almond milk Yeah

Yeah he has really strange I love I honestly think That people are deliberately Trolling James now And I'm here for it I love it No it's not

I'm being honest Has Ben started It started emailing people Before they come on going For a laugh Don't choose to put him No And if you can even tease early on

I mean the fact that you've come on here So you used to eat Melted bowls of chocolate Yeah then put a burger inside a donut. So absolutely you just had me going the whole way. Like, here we go. We're heading the sugar town.

And then you're like, yeah, and a bowl of crappy cereal. Unless you suddenly twist us and you put that whole bowl through the glaze curtain. Yeah, that's the only thing that can save this. Selly up, please. And so I'm losing it even more. Let's hear Victoria's Dream meal, please, James.

You would like tap what... Here's the thing. Tap water didn't annoy me the first time, now. And now it is. Now it's annoying. Because it's like, in the bigger picture, it's very frustrating. Because I'm imagining also it's tap water from your own home as well. And why not?

From my house. You would like, for your dream meal, tap water, bread of lots of butter, warm whole meal roll with raisins. Ah, I'm nostalgic for those days. That was when, that was where. you made me want that. I really want to go home and have that. I'm genuinely going to eat that at some point soon.

Starter, just an avocado with some belligeret. Made, a plowments with cheddar steel and triangles of bread. I'm actually genuinely digging my fingers into my leg. I'm grabbing my leg so hard that I'm causing myself pain to get myself through the sentence because it's so long. I think sounds delicious. Triangles of bread, grapes, apple, pickle, no celery. Side, cuckin my salad.

I'm sounding that very much. Drink, salted can. Martini. I'm going to just stare at that sentence for a bit longer, so I don't have to move on. Dessert, rice pudding with a little bit of cinnamon, mother's homemade rice pudding. Yeah. Lovely. Lovely. I think that sounds nice. That's more of, you know. I mean, maybe I'm just wound up because it's Valentine's date. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe it's not about Victoria. I'm taking it out of it.

No, it's definitely about that menu. Definitely about that menu. isn't it? But you can eat that and you can get on with your day? Yep, you can eat.

It's not gonna... You can have that you know, that's not, you might as it's delicious. If I have that for my Valentine's meal

and I'll be happy. You tonight, as you tuck into your badger-a-ondriette with orange sauce, it'll come back into your mind. How delicious, the simple pleasure

of a plowman's. Of a plowman's. Yeah, maybe, maybe. Oh, great. Love Victoria, Corrin Mitchell.

He is the devil. I remember not enjoying her but the fact it annoyed you so much really made me like it more. I'll tell you what, I can't believe so many people winded me up. Not as many people wind you up. No, that's true. I can come on and they try and wind you up sometimes, but not

I can't think of Jay Rainer and Greg Davis. Can't think of anybody else. Yeah, well, they can't wind me up, mate. I'm the icebox. Oh, they wound you up all right. These guys wound you up. I'm cool as a kuk. You explain the chocolate of Claire and you can talk about the chocolate of Claire, but just know that I disagree with your choice wholly and we can have that argument in a few minutes. Okay.

There is a childhood element. Yes, okay. Okay, so desserts and sweet things were not a big thing in our house because my mother was fully aware that we all had our size issues, but they would be outbreaks of indulgence. So I had this thin friend, and their family had a chocolate drawer in the kitchen. And there was a drawer just full of chocolate. Yeah.

And I would see him, he would go in, and he would open it and take one piece out, and he'd eat it and then close the drawer. And I didn't understand how that works. Because if that drawer had been in my house, it would just be emptied on a daily basis. I had a thin friend who had that drawer, if that drawer had been in my house, there would have been a padlock on it.

Exactly. So anyway, so every now and then... Not thin people playing it. I know. Just one, guys. I've got a chocolate drawer now. Have you? Have you? Have you really? Yeah, but you don't restrain yourself. You just don't put on weight.

That's true. I'm a freak. Is that true? Can you eat literally anything? At the moment, I mean, we'll see how long that lasts. Yeah, I'm coming back in 10 years to laugh and laugh. James and his dad are absolute sweet freaks. Oh, there you, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very funny that it's my dad as well. Yeah.

So sometimes my father would appear with a box of pastries. And he'd gone to someplace in Hampson. There would be a box of pastries. And we're always told that we couldn't have the chocolate Eclare because it was his. however often we said get two two chocolate declare maybe three it wouldn't happen because

his need for an assortment he needed an assorted box so I could never have the chocolate de clare but I bloody love a chocolate de clare shoe pastry is a brilliant thing you know profiteroles are made from shoe pastry it's a cooked out pastry which is then baked it's very hard to make and then it's filled

with cream and then it's got thick layers of chocolate on top and it's tacked is it? And so, you know, it's basically it's me dealing with my father issues. It is a finely calibrated piece of dessert work, pastry work. You've got pastry, got cream, you've got chocolate on top. What I can see in Ed's eyes is he's trying to muster his

arguments to rebut me, but he's feeling on slightly fragile ground. Well, I am now, because you've obviously described it so well, that's your trade and you're convincing you... Listen, Ed, it's no shame of being turned by Rainer. He's been turned on to the ribs I've happened to be earlier I know you're

I've got a present now I I think I want a dinner I want something dense and luxurious and unctuous and I feel like

I'm enough about your personal life I've ever had is I've bitten into it and it's gone like this it's just too much air in it too much air too much air in it

so you don't like chocolate clay's because you've only had shit once cream's boring cream's boring Cream's boring. Airy cream. Too much bubbles. Your podcast, mate.

I'm the same with Profiteroles. I think shoe pastry is like weird and taste. What about a crock-ombouche? No, that's just a sculpture. A sculpture dribbled in caramel. With cream inside. It's that hard caramel.

Listen, any dessert. I knew Rayna was roped open you. It was letting you talk for a while. That was getting you. Any dessert that needs to be made in a Traffic cone is clearly a fine thing. No, it's showing off a crock on bush. It's showing off.

Says a stand-up committee. We come to your starter. Please. And why not? You're not going to like this. I've already thought about this. We're not going to like it. I don't think you're going to like it.

Neither of us are going to like it. And I am firm in my decision. Okay, this is great. I don't think anyone's ever upset both of us at the same time. Oh, maybe we've had some people upset. Oh, yeah. But like no one going in this defiant from the, from the get-go. I might be wrong.

You don't know like this. This might have been done before. Okay. Big sip. Take a big, big swig of his drink, ready to drop it on us. Yeah? Pass. What?

I don't agree with the starter. Oh, man. I absolutely love it. I mean, it is unacceptable. Because, for one, Ed is a starter boy, he loves starters. Why would you be the best bit? This is great. It's a bonus.

is Maine. There you go on a little plate. Trouble in paradise. It's the equivalent to going for a haircut and saying, can I have a trim please? Now can I have a haircut. It's not the equivalent of that at all. Ed,

it's totally serves you right for having other friends besides me. It's nice to put it out there. Whenever I go for a meal with anyone and they go, oh, I think I'll have a starter. I genuinely resent them and it ruins the meal for me. Wow. Because you don't want a starter so you're annoyed that your meal's taking longer, but just have a starter.

I do. Yeah, you have a starter and you enjoy it. I don't enjoy it. You don't enjoy it? No, I don't enjoy it. No, I don't enjoy it. I order the starter, I think, will take the least amount of time to prepare so that I can then get onto my meal. But the meal, the meal is a star is part of...

I pass. No, you can't pass. I have passed. You can't. We can't. Fine, then we're bringing you out an empty plate and you have to sit here for as long as it would take you to eat a starter. As often I do when I'm out with rude people. Rude people.

You think people who order starters are rude. It's the same as shattering popatoms for me. It's not... Why? Because I have to sit while. a starter. Do you like eating out? You just want to get home as quick as possible. No, I want to enjoy my main course.

And I'll luxuriate in the time I take to eat my main course. I can't believe this. It's funny. We've never had a pass before. I pass. Right, let's ask the follow-up questions. Is there anywhere in particular that you enjoy not having a starter? At all restaurants.

Name some of the restaurants that you enjoy an empty plate at. You've not even had one starter in your whole life that you were like, that was delicious. and that you would want as your start and now. I find it, I find it, let me think I'd phrase it, unwanted commercialised foreplay. That sounds lovely. I'm hard, let's eat.

Sure. Who passes on a starter? Greg Davis passes on a starter. You're in the dream restaurant. He's passed on a dream. Oh, that kuk seems to have warmed up a little bit. It's like having a dream where you're riding a unicorn and going, well, no, I don't need the horn.

it can just be a regular horse. Watching you and Greg clashes the war at the start. I like a good war, Ed. I love a good war, don't you? It's interesting you say that, James, because we've started our own war right here on the off-menu podcast,

although I think maybe we've extended a pre-existing war. Sure. A war that we were previously unaware of, but it has been raging on. Between two nations over Joloff Rice. In fact, I'm thinking we should probably just change the name of this podcast, the Jolof Menu.

Oh, lovely Ed. Absolutely love. So there's been a war between Nigerian Jolof Rice and Ghanian Jolof Rice and the main generals in this war have been Loliadipi, Salasi Bormita and Sophie Duker. Oh, good-looking battle, faithful soldiers. Is this ball of Nigerian food, has you got a name? Would you always refer to it as something? Was it just waiting there for you?

And was it always the same things in it? Or was it different stuff? Different things. Pounder diam and stew would be one thing, or pounded yam with a goosey is one thing. Or Jolof Rice would be a different thing. So you wouldn't have them together? No. Well, I actually probably would because I'd love to shuffle.

Yeah. But that's not the norm to have rice and yam. And was this stuff already made and left over? In general, yeah. Or was it made for you? Sometimes it was made for me and I felt bad. But my mum would be like, are you hungry? And then I'd say yes.

I think it sort of reminds me of when I graduated and then moved back home again, it was just like going out and then mum would cook some dinner and eat her dinner at a normal time. Yeah. And then I get back and there'd be like a cold thing waiting to warm up in the microwave at like half past midnight or something when I was pissed. And sometimes I would say, okay, no, don't make it for me.

I want pounded jam. And then I would start to make it. And I would be doing such a bad job that she would come in and be like, okay, oh. Yeah. I really want Nigerian food. Yeah, it made me want pounded yam. Yeah. Oh, you'll love it.

You'll love it. You'll love it. You'll love it. You'll love it. Yeah. But I guess before that, I would always, well, you can't get it anywhere. but Jolof rice, which is Ghanaian, not Nigerian. Oh, wow, loving.

Now, we're doing it, cross-podcast beep. Yeah, bring it. Lottie was in. Comedian Loliatov who was here and saying she wanted Nigerian food, and I believe Jolof Rice was brought up. Yeah. So a shot has been fired over the bounds. Jolof rice, if all restaurants served it, definitely.

Would you be thanking Jesus in church if all restaurants served? Cholof rice Yes Yeah Yeah Back to church I'm there three times a day now One for the surf

Once for the turf Yeah Once for the cholof rice Yeah And then a little extra prayer For Peshwari Nant Yeah And then once more

Just to curse Nigerian Jolof Rice Please Please Lord get rid of it I don't like it So what's What's Jolof rice How are you putting together

Jolof rice You first make Well, I'm describing how I make it. So depending on what you're adding, so chicken or lamb or beef or goat or anything, you make a stock from the meat. Then you use the stock to make a stew. So it's a tomato stew.

And then you add your veg, if you want to add veg, then you cook it in basmati rice, not American non-grain. Basmati rice. And it's just a stewed rice from tomato sauce. And then you can add the meat

or you grow the meat separately and then you have you on the side. Nice. And it's everything. Yeah, that sounds very good, actually. I got lost in that. It's like I was listening to a poem. Yeah.

And I think I'd have some Jolla. Jolla fries. We've had some controversy over the... It's the third time. Do you have an Igerian on? We had... We had... It's unrelated to food, but I'm...

Yeah. Here's the thing. Now I'm having to have... So we've had... This is the third mention. Yeah. of us we've had, we've had Salasi and we had Lolly. Yeah.

Now you, and I know now that it is, you've pushed it over the two for, how do you say it? Ganyan. Ganyan. Ganyan. Yeah, Ganyan. Yeah, people say Garnan, but in Gala, they say, like, Ganyan. So, Salasi was also, he was a very quiet, very relaxed guest until it came to talking about Jolof Rice, and then he lent right into the microphone, he went, Jolof Rice is not Nigerian.

Really? Wow. That's dark. That's dark. But it's true. It's, it's bad. I've, like, got into trouble because I've, like, be bad now thing.

Nigeria rice. Like, I was just like, I was with my mum on this thing called Africa and the square where they've got those of African stalls and loads of people queuing up for the Jolof Rice. And I was like, oh, it's not even worth it because it's Nigerian. And these girls come around and was like,

what did you say? And I was like, it's true. And they're like, we had a fight about Jolof Rice. It's not, like, Nigerian food is, is not good. You really took that pause to make sure you were diplomatic And then just completely agree The rice is stupid It's all like fat stupid rice

Also there's like Fat stupid rice They don't make it with long grain rice They make it with like fat stupid rice Also there's a lot of In my like anti- WhatsApp groups There's lots of like myths about what's happening Like with food

There's a lot of it is quite problematic and worrying like a myth of plastic rice that people were making plastic rice and I was like, it's just because someone had Nigerian joll off that they think it's made of plastic. It's terrible. The war rages on, of course, and good luck to anyone out there on the battlefield.

Yes, pick aside and pick it well. Now it comes to the off-menu awards. There is only one award and its best description of food. There is only one nominee and one winner, and that winner is Marcus Samuelson for this description of how to make Nyokki. Mm-mm-mm-mm.

Nocky is something that I've like, probably only got into within the last like, I know, five years. I started eating it and like, so I really like it. But I'd say, I wouldn't know what makes a good one. So you can make, we can go through it. You can very, like, you want to roast the potato first. You want to start there,

right? So they don't get mealy and watery. So you just roast sweet potatoes or potatoes, just roast them until they're soft. And you scrape them out. And then you add it, you don't want them heavy. So that comes down to don't use too much flour, right? So this is your potatoes, a little bit of olive, a little bit of flour, salt, maybe some nutmeg.

You want, same time as you roast the potatoes, maybe you roast two, three pieces of garlic as well. You just mash that up. That's your nocky. So the key thing on, something on nochi gets heavy, it's because they have too much flour in it. And so you just want a little bit of flour to bind it, maybe an egg yolk, just to tie it all together. And that's your nooky. And then you put a pint of water on. and you just blanch them really

because you drop them in once the water is brought to a boil you lift them out and then you just put a hot pan on with olive oil or clarified butter and then you just sear the nocky and then you add in a little bit of butter

in the end, salt pepper, done. Do you know what? I think that description there's going to be our most relistened to section of the entire podcast we've ever done I think a lot of people are going to relisten to that will be pausing it and doing that bit rewined it going to go in it

I want to listen to that again. I'm mad. My stomach's rumming. My mouth is watering. Thank you, Marcus. Thank you so much, Marcus. Now, that was a fairly straight-up choice. We all like a bit of yucky.

But there's been some absolute weirdos on this podcast, James. Oh, absolute weirdos. Tom Carriage, Joel Domit. Does the name Lou Sanders mean anything to you? And let's not forget Mike Skinner. It's very interesting to find out that some of these people we interview who are quite prominent public figures have such odd food habits. But let's hear a little bit of it now.

Don't forget to tear him into Joel Domit forever. Yes, keep tweeting Joel Domit. I've noticed that's dipped down, but keep on going. To drink, sir. Well, also, he's probably half and half again. Half Coke zero, half Diet Coke. Yeah, half wine, half beer. Well, it's very difficult this, because I'm trying to work out.

So I knocked booze on the head six, about nearly six years ago, right? So it would become quite a huge part of my life is the best way of describing it. So I'm like, if this is a one-off thing, like, and it's just one-off, and it will never affect my brain cells again and it won't take me... I might go for 24 cans of stellar. I might go for 24 cans of stellar. Alternatively...

I'd absolutely love that. Alternatively, a can of diet lilt. I love diet lilt with fish and chips. You know, can a lill. Diet lill. I haven't seen it in a... Well, I have had it. Actually, that's what I was going to say.

I haven't seen an agent. I had some yesterday. But it's one of the... So, you know, it depends on how bad we've been. I mean, I've gone for fishing chips. If I'm going, if I'm going all in and it's one day only and it's not going to take me down the route that I went down, maybe a whole slab of Stella.

Yeah. That would, yeah, that might do it. Why Stella? Of all of the beers? Well, I think when you have an issue with alcohol, you look for the ones that hit the spot quicker. Stella certainly does that. Stella was great.

Still, there. Yeah. Specifically 24 cans of it. Yeah, well, like, you load up with 24, and then you see where an evening goes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's free. I think the fact you pick 24 cans of Stella

probably shows that you were right to knock it on their head, Tom. Yeah. If that's your go-to. Do you want them as separate cans? Or, because I can do whatever you want it here, I can do it as one big guzzler can for you. There's like 24 cans with a little straw maybe. Well, actually, well, if we're going for it

and we're in a restaurant and it's like, I wouldn't mind one of those, like, really comedy hats that have cans in. Your beard, like you could sit in it. Yeah, exactly. And then a straw. Do you want one of those that can, fit 24 cans in it. Yeah, 12 each side would be amazing.

Yeah, that would be. Yeah, I'm up for that. Yeah, that would be great. Can you arrange that, Mr. Jeannie? I'll sort that out for you. There we are. No worries. One Stetson beer dome coming right up. 24 cans of Stella. Yeah. What drink are you having to accompany this? Well, I think, genuinely, I'd have a protein shake. I do like protein shakes. I really love them. I have them all the time. I have I have this new one which is absolutely delicious has a little bit of strawberry in it

It's just really just tangy Lovely And then I've It's an optimum nutrition one Not being paid by them Yeah And before I go to bed I have a casein protein which is like

You have a protein shape before you go to bed Yeah Which is because you've got to work out in your drink Yeah Yeah Yeah I really love porridge. Sometimes, sometimes.

I don't think that you like more than anything you've been your starter. Yeah, it could have been your starter. It's not my sort of podcast, Lou. Everything has these days. I'm going to be of woke. Or I like bits of stuff. So I don't want to be, I don't want to be way down by one meal.

So I want a tapas. But I want the tapas to be of my choosing. global tapas baby global so your main course is foods from all over the world global tapas so you're like tapas put them everywhere you've got to stop saying global tapas yeah I don't think I can't know she especially no you told her not to so hang on we've gone through Thai food to vegan roast to global tapas

but what of the first you got in common they can sit in the global Tabas. So two of the little dishes in your global tapas are the red tie curry and the vegan roast. Yeah. Yes. You could put the red Thai curry in a Yorkshire pudding.

How about that? No, thank you. No, why not? That sounds nice. I won't mix the tapas. So there's a pub in my dad's that does, the pub meals are all, you just get a giant Yorkshire pudding

and they fill it full of stuff. It's see if you know your dad. Shut. You can get curry in that. You could get chicken tea. This place in the New Forest. That's lovely, actually. You get a giant Yorkshire and they do all with Chili Konkani

and they do one with... That's a new forest. Hampshire. I would like to go to this place. What's it called? No, it's called the trusty servant. The trusty servant? Yeah.

That is a very... Very trip to the trusty servant. Sure, absolutely. It's a good pub. Any big insight into Ed's family then? I eat it the trusty servant. Oh, yes. I get the subtext there.

Give us an example. If we give you five little dishes that you can have from across the globe, your main course. That will allow that. Okay, go. No, you need to pick them. We're going to read out a load of different things from all over the water. You choose five of them.

This is your choice. We'll read out every dish in the world. We'll start with a. Your face was so serious when you said, okay, go. You're really composing yourself. And you're like, okay, I'm ready. I'm ready to do this. I didn't want to hear the menu. Didn't want to fuck you up.

That's really ready. Okay. Okay, so you've got your Thai dish, yeah? Oh, so that's on the top of the red tie cone. With the brown rice, it's all in one little. It's in my little dish. Okay, well, let you have that. I might start with that.

Then you've got your roast with the trimmings. But hold on. So what's that? It's a little dish. It's a little dish. It's a little dish. Yorkshire pudding. But it's as big as one Yorkshire pudding this dish.

Vegan Yorkshire pudding. Okay, and it's got stuff inside it. So what's inside the Yorkshire pudding? How do you make vegan Yorkshire puddings? Oh, they've done it before. They'll do it again. Okay. Um, stuffing.

Stuffing. Stuffing inside the... Inside the ultra pudding. Don't check your phone when I'm going into a dream of dinner. My sister's text me about a flap check. Carry on. You're always on, James. Yeah.

Broccoli. It's made an appearance again and I can't help that. Okay. But it is the food. Or maybe spinach. Spinach in a roast. Well, throughout some other ideas then. I'm on the spot here.

Roast pastonips? Roast potatoes. Carrots. Potatoes. Roast potato, little ones, and some mash, and then some gravy, and then we're done. Okay, so two types of potato potatoes and a Yorkshire pudding. What would you like for your starter? Cushy Punch.

What? So Cushy Punch is a very famous Californian weed edible. Ah. I'm not into weed. Yes. It makes me think that I left the eye. on. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, sure. What? It makes you paranoid? Huh? Makes you paranoid? Yeah, it makes me think... I know.

Something. Yeah, yeah. I know that exact feeling. You know? Yeah. Don't like that feeling. You don't like weed, however. So, however, I don't like weed, but cushy punch.

Yes. Do a indica only one. So there's like, apparently there's like two things. is sativa and indica is like in weed. Yes. And it's sativa that makes you think you left the iron on. Uh-huh. Okay.

Someone in California has very generously removed the did I leave the iron on factor from weed. Yeah. And put it into a edible, a jelly. Uh-huh. And just left the indica bit, which is the sort of like bodily sort of thing where you just go, I don't care about the iron Yeah It might be on

You know Fuck it You know And so yeah And it also as well Just makes you really enjoy food Oh we like to really gears you up For the rest of the meal as well

That's clever You'll be unsurprised to learn That you're the first person To pick a weed edible as their starter Yep Even though no one's picked it yet It is 100% What all the listeners thought you're going to pick

So it's fun So that's good No one's surprised Well Well, well, well Bizarre choices, absolutely bizarre They're wackadoo those guys I'll tell you what though

At least it didn't make me feel sick You know? No, no I mean Joel Domit's maybe made me feel a little bit sick But with rage Nowhere near as sick As these people made me feel With these moments from their episodes

We're talking Desiree Birch Sean Clifford Evelyn Mock Catherine Boehawk Kima Bob and Grace Dent So, okay There are honourable mentions to every cheesecake that's ever existed.

However, I will say that I have to take a lactose enzyme to enjoy any of them because I'm lactose-a-dollerant. It sucks. It makes, I mean, you know, cake is fine, butter's okay, you know, if it's baked in whatever, but it makes every sort of dessert that comes with the side of ice cream just like a slap in the face. And especially in this country, because it's full of people who historically can process dairy well.

And so everything is ice cream at the interval. and like, you know, scoop of whatever or like in a, you know, a custard. And it's beautiful. But like, I have to take one to two of those things. And if I time it poorly, I'm just like, I gotta go. Yeah. I gotta go have a horrible crap somewhere.

It was so tasty. And it was like, whoop, there goes all of dinner that I was hoping to enjoy. I've never seen Edith as happy. Oh, so funny. Any episode so far. Oh, so funny. Also, because she made all the contact with her,

you said horrible stuff. Also, I think my favorite sort of humor is when you've suggested what, we all knew what you were heading for it. But now I'm going to go for it. Just to make sure that we're all clear it is vomiting out of the other end. That is what I'm talking about.

All the oysters and the scallops going, well, we're all in this together. It's good things she didn't chew us because now we've got to go out into the world and fit for ourselves. We went out as we came in. hole. And alone.

Maybe I'll say my shell again. She grabbed it. It's in her purse. Here you go. Good luck. Just try desperately ruining plumbing. Desmond, right, by land on the sill.

Desmond, before you flush, can you mind chucking the guy's shell? I know you got it. Yeah. Okay, but just definitely... when I was a kid I went to this like circus not circus I don't know like a performance thing for kids and there was a guy on stage and one of his tricks

was to invite four kids up on stage and to give them whatever drink they wanted but out but wait for it out of the same teapot and um and you out Foxton with cereal milk I was too scared to go up, but I've never

forgotten, and the genie reminds me a little bit of that guy, and I'm telling you, one of the kids picked carrot juice. Oh my God. What's wrong with that kid? I'm trying to throw the magician off, I guess. And he had it. And he did it. I don't know how they did it,

but they did it. He actually made carrot juice come out of their teapot. But do you know what? He probably just had, you know, those things in pubs with the buttons, with the different... But then you can't have... You can't have... No. It's like whatever the kid's name is in there.

Oh, God. If I was a little kid, and they got me up to do that trick. And, uh, you get to me, I'll go, piss. James's little faces right now. It's like he's the little kid who's going to send it to the petition. Oh, if I'm really happy. And he's, he's, foxed him. So they're really happy.

And then when he made the carriage he's come out, I'll be like, what's what's wrong with this guy's piss? There's a food-based Instagram account, which is why she's quite an exciting guest for me. What they called? Or whatever? Things I pooped out. Which I love.

But I show all the things before I poop them up. That's nice of you. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever thought of setting up a different account where you post it after you've pooped it out? That's on you porn. And that's something else. I'm making a lot of money from that.

I once actually had a friend who put up like a photo of his poop. on, I think it was like Facebook. Right. And it got taken down. Yeah. Right. But it was, I applauded his daring. Why did he put a picture of his poop?

I think he had like some kind of stomach issue. What, so it was like, guys, does anyone know what's up with me? So it was like a genuine question to, hive mind. Exactly. Anyone experienced this? Why is it this color? Yeah, I think he was just like a, he was just like a very provocative kind of guy. So he just wanted to be a bit, like, daring, I think.

Look at this, I'm really ill. Please send help. But, yeah. On your Instagram account, what have been some of the most liked and successful images you've posted that people have really responded to and loved? I think it's been people really like desserts. Oh, yeah. So people really like ice cream and, like, um, Any type of, anything with cream on, which I love, I love cream.

So anything that looks really spectacular. I think people really like that. And then also meat. People really like meat on Instagram. Meat and cream. Yeah. That's the thing. I think there's certain, since Instagram has become a thing,

there's places that you go to buy a thing that you then put on Instagram. Like there's, I don't know if you've been to that. There's an ice cream place where it's like an ice cream cone, but then it's got like a huge collar of candy floss around. it? I've been there, yeah. Yeah, and that seems to have been created simply for people to put it on Instagram because it's probably a pain in the ass to eat. Yeah.

But it's no way that's, it's nice. It's for likes. There's no way that's worth it. It was very ordinary. Oh, you had that? I had it. If there's anywhere that's been on Instagram, I've probably been there if I've been able to access it.

It's the same with like freak shakes, you know freak shakes? Yeah, sure, sure. Where they've just got like all manner of shit in there and then all the sources dribbling down the side of the glass. That gets on my nerve. That's like a heart attack. It's a heart attack and you can't drink it because it's just a dirty cup. Sympatical, yeah, because the sauce on the outside of the glass is very annoying.

It's just for the picture. Just for the pick. How did you go about eating the ice cream with the collar of candy floss around it? So you have to get through the candy floss first. And so you just stand there kind of like a child trying to eat it. And it's really unexciting to eat candy floss. It's like fun for the first. like maybe bite, but then it's kind of like a chore, I think.

And then you just eat it regularly, like the ice cream. Not very exciting. Not is it? Candy floss I find, yeah, just, ugh. It's that instant guilt of it. You just go, I'm just eating goddamn sugar. And you could feel it like dissolving your gums. Yeah.

It's not good. I've never liked candy floss. Luckily, I mean, like I say, I always say this. I'm type one diabetic. I could eat candy floss if I wanted, but it's just, it's pointless. It's pure sugar. Yeah. And they made it blue as if that makes it more enticing.

Have you had blue candy floss? That is so much worse. It doesn't look like it exists in real life. I've seen... It looks like a cloud. Yeah. Looks like a Smurf's hair. I've seen blue, pink, white, and yellow candy floss.

Yellow? Yellow seems not... That gives me... Just like yellow snow. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I didn't want to be... Things I peed out.

Things I peed out. Yeah. Exactly. new Instagram account for just drinks. That's not how it works, is it? Yes. What? Yeah.

That's how it works, right? Drinks just go into pee. Yeah, you pee into the drink. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I second guess myself there. What were you second guessing yourself about? I thought that, oh no, it's not that drinks go into pee and food goes into poo.

They both go into both. That's what I convinced myself of. I just convinced myself of that. And then instantly would like, no, that's not the case. I was right. What, you think you'd be like weeing out some chicken wings or something? Yeah. Yeah, I thought it just all gets sorted into different stuff.

But I suppose asparagus makes you wee stink, so... Well, I think isn't pee like all the poison or something extracted from your body? It's a waste product. They're all waste products. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I mean, what we're doing now is the opposite of a food podcast. Kind of, but like, you know.

But Benito is desperately trying to get us off this topic. No, she did a Halloween cheeseboard. A Halloween cheeseboard. Because she would do like a barbecue for the whole road. That's a whole other story. Do we have time for it, my way? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she'd do like a cheeseboard, and then she would do like a barbecue

where she'd do like burgers and hot dogs at the front. The whole road? Yeah. Invite them over and go. Yeah, and she'd make a huge tie. Do you know anything about fistick? Who ever got a 609? She didn't even know about it then, no.

It's only since she started watching Orange is the New Black. I also wish she didn't watch. But anyway. You can have onions if you let me know about Feltri. I hope she doesn't listen to this and now ask me about Fulch. Please help yourself to the Leaf Cheeseborn. Do you know what a dirty Sanchez is? How dare you?

Oh God, I genuinely feel, I'm like anxious so I'm going to be asked these questions. Yeah, yeah, we ask all these questions. But she'd like bake a pumpkin. and then serve a tie pumpkin soup out of it. It was amazing. Yeah. That's really good. That's delicious.

That sounds very good. It was nobody minded what she asked because the spread was excellent. So, Manchego. Manchego. Brie. Maybe the truffle one. I don't know. I quite like a Comte.

Yes. Yes. That's in my top five as well. Is it? Yeah. Huh? Did you say a fly? A fly for flu in my face.

Well, then how could you possibly be expected to listen? I'm sorry I'm sorry famously if a fly flies in Jones's face he can't listen to cheese A compte did you say Yeah comtee yeah Yes

And oh I quite like some strawberries To go with my brie What? Yeah Uh-oh Rewind What the hell are you talking about But if they're macerated in balsamic

That's too much for me Is it too much It's your menu By all means you have that Or maybe just some apple Even just some apple I believe strawberries and brie is just known as strawberry. I think that is the official name of it.

You are so happy with yourself. Would you like some strawberry? He looks so pleased with that. James is obviously one of the finest comedians in the world. He's hugely inventive. But when he comes up with a dad joke, that level, that's the happiest he is. I'm having a roller coaster ride today. I was battling flies and stuff.

I'm trying to remember a Manchester restaurant. and then I thought of a pie. Strawberry. Perfect. I want some crawfish. Yeah. I want boiled crawfish with potatoes and corn

and the boil and we'll call those my vegetables. And this is aside now. Yeah. Yeah, you can flip it like that. That's fine. Have you had that? I've never had that.

I'm obsessed with having it. I really want to have it. You see videos of them like emptying it on a table just on some like on some, on some newspaper and everyone just go in a town, right? Yeah. It's fucking madness.

It's delicious. It's so great. Are the crawfish in shells? They're in shells. They're in their whole little red bodies. I think you boil them like alive or something? I don't know. My dad, when he preps them, he puts like a lot of salt on them.

And then they like eat the salt and then they like vomit and shit everything inside of them. And now they're like clean enough to eat. Yeah. What? Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's deep.

It sounds like the most unappetitized meal ever. You make an animal vomit and shit everything else. You don't eat those liquids? No, but still, I mean... You're getting rid of the liquids? Yeah. You're like purging them. We call it purging.

And now they're like clean or whatever. So if you boil them, then you don't end up with shit in that water? Yep. Because you've already de-shitted them. Yeah, you've already de-shitted them beforehand. Yeah. So like when you get a prorn and there's the poop line. Yeah.

If they gave them some salt, then there wouldn't be a poop line because they would have done a poop, yeah. Yeah. I hate the poop line. I hate when you're eating something and then you get really into it or like comfortable eating it

and then you remember like, oh man, I wonder if they took the poop out and they didn't. You've already eaten so much shrimp shit. Yeah. It's so sad. How much shrimp shit do you think you've eaten if you were to like estimate?

Like one and two ounces? Yeah, but in your whole life? Yeah, I'd say. Like a shot glass full. Yeah. Yeah. Because I've been pretty good about cleaning it myself. Yeah.

Yeah. If you were given the option, like at the start of your life, to like either you're just going to eat it every now and again. Yeah. Or you can get it all out the way one go. Yeah. At the start, in the shop glass, if you want to. What are you going to choose?

I think I'm just going to take it as it comes, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, bit by bit. Yeah. Unless someone's offering me Some kind of monetary reward For drinking a shot glass Full of shrimp shit

I'm just gonna let it happen as it happens One of the most expensive dinners I ever had was A place exactly like him It's called Alvin Lung And he used to call himself He's gonna hear this, I don't care Alvin Lung

The Demon Chef And Alvin will listen to our podcast And Alvin's, all the photos of him were these are going to be cock swinging photos of him, like holding knives and like saying the journey he was going to take you on. Smashing popadums. Smashing popadams. Yeah. And he, um, uh, so I went for dinner there and that was one of those where every so often they'd bring like one tiny little dim sum in like with some kind of incredibly expensive caviar on it. And at the end, at the end, it cost, it was about £600 for two.

and it sent me into this spiral of actual genuine depression, right? Like for days I just kept thinking about like how many shoes that would, that would, you know, pay for for inner city children in Tower Hamlets kind of thing. But one of the courses of that, you're talking about being playful.

And he said, the pudding was called sex on the beach. Right. And what he'd done was he'd got a pile of kind of sugar and made it into sand, so it looked like sand and then he'd got he'd sugar spons

and it looked like a condom and he'd injected sugar syrup semen into it and then just draped it over the sand and it was a playful take on when he used to live

beside a beach and people used to have sex that's playful it's gross and how he got around it before they asked before they served it they said

it's a little bit risque. I hope you're not going to be offended. Of course, I'm not going to be offended it from Carlisle. You know, I've seen it all. And I should apologise to Sean. I made it sound like she made me feel sick with that moment. Yes. That was you, James.

Yeah, guilty is charged, and I'd say it again in a second. You were the one who wanted to turn the magician's liquid into piss. Piss. A lovely moment, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what, Ed? It's been such nice time looking back on all the men. memories of the podcast, but you know what?

You know what? And I'm going to read this exactly as Benito has written it on the paper. Please. Largely, the podcast is about having a fun time. That's what he's written. That's what Benito like. That's what you've written.

That's our link. Largely, the podcast is about having a fun time. And I think the people who best illustrate the podcast be in a fun time. Thank you, Benito. Susie Ruffle, Sindhu V, Jack McBrhea, Nish Kumar, Kamal Nangiani, Richard Osman, Osman, Jim McKernie,

and Josie Long. So, in the words of the great Benito, largely the podcast is about having a fun time. Like now, this is the funest time I've ever had. His little face. I would find it very hard to say to people, I want to go to sushi samba in the shard. It's quite a tongue twister, isn't it?

Yeah, it is a little bit. I like the shashimi from the sushi shams. I would like the shashimi from the sushi samba in the shard. Suzy like shishimi from the sushi. Oh, okay. Here we go. Here we go. Do you know what?

I also think that I might change the restaurant, but carry on with this. Yeah, but there's another restaurant that I really do. We might have to change the restaurant. We'll all try and say this. We'll all try and say this. So, tuna. So it's Susie likes Shishimi from the sushi

samba in the shard is the full sentence. And that was not perfect. Okay. But like, Susie likes shishimi from the, oh fuck. Susie likes shisimi from the sushi, from sushi samba in the shard. Oh, that's hard, isn't it?

It is hard. Susie like shishimi from the sushi samba in the shard. It's also in Heron Tower, so... Oh, okay. Yeah, but still... I'm also... ...that nostalgia, but all food. I mean, as my mother says,

Bhokeko, to... ...you know, which means I should translate. That, to the hungry person, even the doorway looks like crisps. You're so hungry. Sounded wiser, but beforehand, before you translated a lot wiser. It sounded a lot wiser.

I thought, what is this wise old parable that we were about to be told? And it's literally, it's fun. Even the doorway looks like crisps. Well, if you're so hungry, you'll eat anything. Sure. Even the door. To the hungry person. But when you said it initially, we both nodded.

We were like very respectfully nodded. That sounds so wise. It sounds so well. It sounds just the thought of me, you know. The tiger has not eaten a kill No It's literally the equivalent of in a cartoon Wes up was hungry

And they see their friend as a big roast chicken There you go, it's exactly Because when you're... We got called on the cop What else you got on now again? What did he say? Call on the cop Oh, corn on the cup

I thought you said we're calling the cops I'm like, why? Jack, we're calling it the cops. Bad luck. What have I done? Thought about the almonds? Actually, do you know what? Whole arborers is about as flaked arvens.

We're calling the cops. That's the new thing on the podcast now. We're going to call the cops on people. That is going to be a new thing, actually. We should be on the corner cops on the way we like during the meal. Also, we've got, have we got, if we've got the audio of Jack saying we're called the cops isolated, we can pull that out every time a guest steps out of line.

We can just play Jackson and we call it in such a... I'm going to make a mint after this. In between Christmas and New Year's, I had a peach cobbler at a place called Jackson and Rye. Yes. And they don't do it anymore. Yes. And it's my favourite dessert,

and I've stopped going to that restaurant. Yeah. I refused to eat there until they reintroduced the cobbler. It was a peach cobbler, and they used to have vanilla custard with it. Yeah. And it was so... God damn delicious.

Yep. I'll see you eat that cobbler. Yeah. I absolutely love that cobbler. He loves it. I see him eat that cobbler. He was so happy about it. He's talking about,

you know when someone is on their way to a place to eat? Yeah. And instead of just like, they're so excited about what they're going to have that they can't just talk about normal everyday things. Yeah.

All they can talk about is the cobbler. So all he was doing was walking through London talking about the cobbler. And how much he loves the cobbler. Yeah. And then he sat down and ate it and there was, in no way, was it an anti-climate?

It was exactly It's just good as he always remembered it Yeah Yeah But the saddest day Was when it Because it was close to refurbishment Yeah

And then it opened again And then he was like Let's go Yeah It's back I remember going in with you And they didn't have the cobbler anymore

And instead we just sat at a table And had some drinks And there was a table near us I think It were quite loud Yeah So like the whole vibe of the

Yeah Yeah And it was a sad day It was a sad day Did you ask them about the cobblower Oh yeah Oh yeah Yeah

immediately. They said, oh, we've changed the menu around and I was like, well, why don't you change this menu to say, go fuck yourselves? Yeah.

But it was, yeah, because like one year... A strong reaction. When you say you don't go there anymore, is it because you're bad? I'm allowed there. And they started doing the cobblower again. I love it.

It's really good. But yeah, one Christmas, we, I'd come back from spending the time of my family between Christmas and New Year's, and New Year's Eve,

we had dinner at Jackson and Mariah. before we went to some New Year's Eve parties and I ate the cobbler and I was like, this is the greatest New Year's ever I love the cobbler. It's dynamite cobbler, dynamite. What set it apart from other,

like, is there something that, have you had other coblers before? I've had a couple of other coblers, but not in America. I think this is the problem is that I haven't had a cobbler in America. Cobbler's like a sort of deep south dessert. Yeah, it's a very, like, yeah.

It's a very American. of dessert. Yeah. But so I think I need to, I think it's, I've not had the real stuff. Cobbler is like, how would you describe it? It's like a dessert. It's like a crumble, but with a different topping, right? It's less crumbly.

Yeah. So imagine like a crumble that is just like, that topping as like more of a rock face than a sandy beach. But it's like, it's sort of like a soft cake. It's kind of somewhere between a cake and a crumble. A cake pastry crumble. That's right, yeah. That's what it is, yeah.

And then the piece of fruit, underneath it. Stewed fruit. Peach. Delicious peach. Delicious peach. Absolutely amazing. And then the vanilla custard is the like,

that's an example where it's like the equivalent of putting panchetta on. Brouser. No, no, no. Because it's like putting panchetta on bacon. It's like bacon fried panchetta. It's delicious. Everything is delicious. It's like bacon fried panchetta.

Custard on peach cobbler is like bacon. fried panchetta. Yeah. It's the most, it's, everything is delicious. Made with the real been in the pots

that's been in the custard? I didn't ask in the kitchen. Yes, there were black bits in it? Yes, there's made it over wouldn't it? Always got to use the real pods. Absolutely delicious.

What a dessert. Oh man. Because, I mean, it's a, you know, because it is good to have a Christmas

dessert, but I, Christmas pudding is like, I cannot get on board with it. The thing is, it's too fun to not do. And so every year that we did it,

my parents, like my aunt and uncle were like let's stop doing it and then everyone's like yeah but at the beginning it's like woo I mean you could just set a plate on fire but there's something really satisfying about the way it's like it's like woo it's on fire but it's not on fire

it is on fire but it's not not in a bad way you could do something you could replace it with a different you could set fire talking effigier Pierce Morgan yeah Merry Christmas and all

just eat that bundle of sticks rejoice in it It's pretty cruel, Nish, for your dessert. You've described it so eloquently, and you've painted a real picture, and I can almost feel like I can taste it, but it's been discontinued. Discontinued.

Well, now you know how my, now you understand my pain. You've given everyone your curse of the peach cobbler. Yeah, exactly. And Jackson and I have not had the courtesy to put the recipe online. Some places do that. Right.

There's a place called a honey trap in New Zealand and Auckland, and they did the best beef brisket sandwich. Oh, yeah. I remember you telling you about this. Yeah. With this red cabbage coal sloth. and these amazing pickles in them and then they stop, they're all shut

but then they put the recipe online. So me and my girlfriend at the time were able to have a go at properly making it at New Year's Eve. Well, I think Nish needs this peach cobbler. So, listeners, I want you to tweet Jackson and Rye.

Yes, let's make this happen. Hashtag bring back the cobbler. Bring back the cobbler. But not the Adam Sandler film. No, oh, not the other than... Oh, okay. bring back Kumar's cobbler Bring back Kumas Cobbler

And petition to rename it Kumars Cobbler Yeah So bring it back and put it on the menu They've got to name it Kumas Cobbler We know you're listening out there And we know you like to get involved tweet Jackson and Rye

Jackson the traditional way And the traditional way R-Y-E Jackson and Rye Bring back Kumars Cobbler It's based in London Soho Bring back Kumas Cobbler Bring back Kumas Cobbler

Bring back Kumas Cobbler So this biryani, so Briani has been my favorite food my whole life. This is true. My parents have called me Kamel Biriani instead of Kamal Njiani for many, many years. They said when I was two years old,

this is my two years old, apparently my grandmother cooked some biryani and it was a big, big dinner party, and they found me sitting. in the pot of biryani, eating it with my hands. They told me this. I found out decades later, it was a lie. That did not happen.

My dad just said it to make my mom laugh, which I'm like, you guys have been married for decades. I think you don't need to flirt anymore. The deal is sealed. It's in the bag, dad. And so, but that was my origin story. I was like, oh, this is why I like it. A superhero origin story.

You fell into a pound of biry. ate at all? I just love the flavor of it. So there's like, it's layers, right? Yeah. I know I'm regressing because that's the best I could come up with. I like the flavor of it. Yeah.

No, as soon as you said, your family call you Kamal Biriani, I was like, James is not going to stop laughing at it. Yeah, I can't be laughing at you. I can't also, when you said about falling into the pot of biryani and being found eating it, and just the fact it was a lie. you were being told it So like

I just imagined the lies like And when we came out And you were sitting in that pot And you'd eaten all the biryani And you were two years old But you looked up at us So you said, More please

Yeah Your first words were Briani more please All lies I love the whole thing And then my dad When I told him When he was like

When he told me it was a lie It wasn't like I have to tell you something He was like It was very dismissing He was like Yeah it was a lie And it was like

What? And he's like, yeah, imagine how hot a pot of Brianna is. You think you crawled in there? And if a pot is full, there's no room for you to crawl in. So he's like, just the physics doesn't work. You know how when you're a little kid, you hear something, and then you don't question the logic of it? And then in your 20s, you look at it again, and you're like,

oh, no, there's no way that could have happened. It's like a pet going to live on a farm. Exactly. Sure. But it's a babysitting in a pot of Varyana. So it's layers. It's layers. Take us through the layers.

And so at the bottom is sort of the potatoes and the curry and the meat. And you cook that first. And then you put raw rice on it. And then you cover it up so that when it cooks, all the fragrance of the curry sort of cooks through the rice. It's very slow-cooked. And so there's rice on top, which is mostly plain rice. Then as you go, I'm having trouble.

As you get closer to the bottom, the rice, because more and more flavor. And you can start seeing the colors of the base in the rice as you get to the bottom. And then at the bottom is the most flavor. So when you're getting biryani, you have to sort of go straight down. Yeah. So you get all the different layers of it. So you want to get some of the plain rice just to mix it up. Then you get the flavorful rice.

And then at the bottom, you get that. And then, oh, God, I'm struggling. And then there's, you get enough potatoes. And I don't know how my grandmother did it. her potatoes had flavors right through the middle, and they would be very orange, like not yellow. So whatever she was doing to it was, like, changing the color of the potatoes, and the potatoes are very, they're very soft, these potatoes.

They melt in your mouth. Has this recipe been passed down your family? So my mother makes it too, and my mother's is very, very, very good. My mother is probably the best cook, I know, other than my grandmother. But there is maybe a... a 5% difference, 3%. Sure. My grandmother's is 3% better.

And I can't tell you what the difference is. But if you blindfold me, I would be able to pick them out. You'd be able to know. Yeah, it's not just a psychological thing. Yeah. There is a very, very small difference. Imagine if we blindfolded you to do the taste test, where you took the blindfolded off, you were sitting in a pot of beer.

We'd done it. Oh, my God. Oh, that would be amazing. And so if you see my plate, as I said, I'm working from least to favorite. I will always have a huge, so I'll get two big pieces of potato. I'll get meat, I'll get all that stuff. One piece of potato to eat with each bite. So each bite is there's some plain rice.

There's some of the flavorful rice. Then there's some of the really good juicy stuff and a piece of the potato. So every bite has sort of everything in it. And then I'm leaving one piece of potato all. the way at the end. So when I finish everything else, all that's left is one piece of potato. That's the headliner. Yes, it's the headliner. It's orange right to the middle. And then I eat that very, very slowly. What do you say before you eat it? I'm not saying much of anything. You're saying, like, here we go. Yeah, I made it. It's all been built into this. Kamal Biryani

strikes again. Yeah, that'd be great if you say that. Kamal Biryani strikes again. absolute, which is a shame, because I like some bread at the start of a meal. So do I. Because when else do you eat bits of bread? Yeah, exactly, you didn't get the big lumb of bread. You never at home just go, I'm hungry, I'm going to eat some bread,

and then I'll have some food. Yeah, and then dinner time. Yeah. Did you dip it in some oil? No, I don't really like that. I'm quite fussy. Yeah, yeah. I don't like it when they bring out things

I don't really know what it is. You know what oil, is that right? I know what, yeah, but... You're nothing I can point at this computer. Don't you know what oil is? I think I do. Although, define oil I've got him here, James

Well, it's impossible just define it. There's many different oils. Olive oil? No, that's name it. I didn't say name some oils. Right. Define oil. Liquid fat.

Yeah? Well, no. Petroleum is a liquid fat, is it? No, but they're not going to bring you out a bit of petroleum, are they? Oh, he's absolutely dodging the question. What was the question? Define oil. Define oil.

Yeah, but why am I defining oil? I can't remember why I'm defining it now. Because you said, you know what? with it's, don't you? Yeah. And I'm asking you. When they present you with some oil, you know what that is?

Well, I suppose so. Anyway, I don't like it. To the next notch. Yeah. Who's arrived at the party? Oh. When the madrasse walks through the door, what human form is it taking?

All right, it's taking the form of Snoop Dog. Snoop Dog is the madras. Snoop Dog's the madras. there comes Snoop Dog That would be a live room Yeah that would be a lot Sure If you're at a party

It's Snoop Dogg Yeah I feel like suddenly I've got a lot more energy But what I would say about Snoop Dog is I'm sure he's great at a party But I would never describe him as a live now I feel like a lot of his public persona

is actually quite relaxed For various reasons Yeah Yeah but he's Snoop Dogg Yeah everyone would definitely be like Oh my God Snoop Dogg It's a night Suddenly the party's now buzzing

Yeah The swag of Snoop Dog is enough. I'm imagining him, because he's a lamb madras walking in with a little lamb under his arm. Snoop Dog with a lamb. Yeah. I wouldn't even be that surprised. I don't know why.

Yeah. He's got a lamb. He's got a bad lamb now. So I just don't yet again. Sure. But I know what you mean. It's still, yeah, it feels like a treat. I wouldn't normally have it.

But now and again, if I do it, I'll always make the dad joke of going like, oh, why not? Let's splash out. I'll have some sparks of water. I do mean that deep down. Ed is going to be such a good dad. Oh, 100%.

Yeah, because I'll make the joke about sparkling water all the time. You need to make your jokes regularly and forever. Yes, absolutely. You know, I'm cool. Hi, cool, I'm dad, you know. I've heard that one before. Genie, you like that was a not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One of my favorites that I do now, and I'll be doing it as a dad as well, is when they bring all the food to the table, I'll say, what's everyone else having? Oh, lovely. Lovely. You've just finished the whole meal. Well, that was the start of done. Yeah, perfect.

Perfect. Oh, oh. You've finished the entire meal. I come to pick up your plate. Couldn't eat a mouthful of it. Absolutely disgusting. Yeah, that's a classic. Oh, no, I hated that.

Hated it. When it's Halloween, if someone's dressed up, they've got a mask on. And I'd have to go, when you put your costume in Martin, yeah. Oh, they take the mask off and they go, take the mask off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or you're on the phone, you have a really long conversation, and you put it down, you go, wrong number. Yeah, long number. I do that all the time. I can't help with him. On that tour, and you did that all the time. Actually, when I was on tour with Greg Davis,

whenever we had a meal, and the waiter came over, his joke would be, oh, mine was delicious, but he hated his. Oh, a bit harsh. Bad boss Evil boss He learned everything he knows from you

He never tried to dunk you in the sea though Did he? Oh there you go What a fun What a fun time So much fun Largely Largely I absolutely loved it

Oh hey I hope you've had fun Listen to the podcast Over the year listeners And I tell you what We couldn't do it without you We really appreciate your support It means a lot to us

It does indeed Thank you Thank you for all your lovely messages about the podcast. We love hearing that you're enjoying it. I hope you've had a lovely 2019. If you haven't, don't worry, it's 2020, Sue. Yeah, yeah, 2020's coming up. I hope you have a lovely 2020 for me, Ed, and the Great Benito.

We all hope you have a lovely and prosperous 2020. And we'll be back very soon for Series 3, so don't worry about that. But to play us out, to say goodbye, here's a little something that the Great Benito has edited together. Pop-a-doms every time. Pop-Benoms off. Yeah. Pop-Dum's off, right? Level of efferves.

Pop-a-doms or bread, James. That depends where you are, James. You're here in the dream restaurant, Jane. Right, so you've got the party started. Pop-a-Dombs or bread. Pop-Nums or bread. Pop-Nums or bread. I'm going with Pop-a-Doms or bread, please.

Yes. I'm big time going sparkly. Yeah. Pop-dums or bread. Christ. Pop-Dum's or bread, Jamie. Now, this is where I'm starting to wish it was, just me. Yes.

Also, I have to ask you. Pop-a-dum's all great, Joel. Angry genie. Oh, Jesus. God, you pick your moment. Even when you know it's happening, even when you know it's happening, even when you was fully aware

that this is gonna happen at some stage. I mean, it's not even an issue, it's Brett, but, uh, but, oh, wow. That is surprisingly aggressive. Oh, uh, Josie. Popper dobs or bread, Josie. Popper dogs or bread. This has come out of nowhere.

Uh, next. Pop it arms or bread. Okay. Um, great. Um, Poplar bread. Popper dogs or bread. I mean... I'm afraid.

Popperin'hob's or bread. Popper d'ams. I do watch why I eat because of that, and I know what, like, pizza's an absolute nightmare. Yeah, yeah. Because, like, the blood sugar goes up and down, bearing in mind the carbs and the fat and all that. It's all boring, scientific stuff. Popper don'ts or bread, Desry. Goodness.

Popper dog's all bread, Jack. Popper dom's all bread. What does he say? Pop it. Popper's all bread. Popper's off the bread? What are he saying? Poppers off the bread? Pop-and-h-h-up-an episode of bread.

Love it when it still scares people. Everything got no scared there. You really got scared there. I got really scared. I had to hold my face. It was very scary. Comes up. Yeah.

Bride on pop-at-hams, Richard. Say again? Bread or pop-and-arms. Oh, bread or popat-oms? Yeah, you'll never taste the devil's jism. You're a lovely lad. Yeah, exactly. Pop-lums or bread, Victoria.

Pop-at-arms or bread. What, I mean, is it? Am I having a curry? I can get you all those. Easy. Pop-a-dums or bread. Pop-dums or bread, Camale. Pop-a-dums or bread!

Pop-a-dums or bread! Pau-a-dum! Pop-dums. Pop-a-dums. Yeah. I like a pop-a-dum, man. Can we just say, I think Loyal goes straight into the top three of people absolutely taking that in his stride? Yeah, absolutely didn't care.

Did not budge one inch when you shouted that. Pop-Dums. Pop-O-Bodoms or bread! Pop-Bodoms or bread, Mike! Pop-podoms or bread! Popad-podoms or bread! or bread. Bubbly, bubbly, so bubbly.

Popplems or bread. Popplems or bread, Sophie. Popatoms or bread? No, Popatoms. I don't like popadoms. What? What? Mm-mm. Fair enough.

Popidoms or bread, send you? Popad. What's the first word? Popad. Oh, Popper. Right. Bobburn. That's what it's called.

Okay, cool. Popadoms or bread, Susie. Propadoms? Yeah. So that's fine. And a... Popidoms or bread. Popidoms or bread, question.

What? Popper domes or bread. That is always shouted. It's a fine line. Popatoms or bread, Cam. Popadoms or bread, cap. Popadoms or bread. Now, Lolly.

Yes. Popadom's or bread. You made Benita jump and he knew it was coming. Come back. Populums or bread. Populbs or bread. Kema. Bread, bread.

Populums or bread, Serge. Popidoms or bread, Serge. Oh, man. Big question now, James Oh yeah, let me ask you this, Phil. Popenoms or bread, Marcus, popenobs or bread. Popper dobs or bread. It's only a small change.

I don't know, that's one that's one that stuck. Shannon, sharnage. That's another extra one. Poppleums or bread, Sean. Popplems or bread. Papadum. Also, Popatoms or bread, Salasi. Ooh.

Again, the only person completely not phased by me shouting. Didn't flinch whatsoever. I mean, for the listener. I think it is so unfair that you did that you that the listener did not get to see that because normally I shouted at people and they're a bit startled they didn't quite expect it

So Lassie not only didn't flinch didn't move muscle He maintained eye contact with me the whole time He looks right at me And then... That's a good answer Popplems off bread Oh bread! Brad! Oh bread! Brad!

Proffa jumped. Really jumped, didn't you? Yeah, it did. That's good, haven't had a jumper in a while. So it's not barrow is not going to be your starter. No, it's not. Pop-O-Doh, Brad!

Yes! Yes! Of course, Liceet would be the one who would have loaded in the cannon almost like you knew I was going to... You obviously knew that I was going to shout it at you, but it's like you knew I was going to do it then. Yeah.

Also, Nish. Pop-at-O-Bred, Nish! Pop-and-Obs or bread! What do you think I'm going to say? I don't know. Pop-in-Oms, mate. Yes, please. Pop-odoms, I'm not an animal.

Because I do love a bread... By the line, I feel like I should put out we ask this to everyone. Yeah.