Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 125: Ed Sheeran

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

Up-and-coming singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has a table reserved this week. And James is turning his weirdest dial up to 11.Ed Sheeran’s new album ‘=’ (Equals) is released on 29th October 2021 through Asylum/Atlantic. Pre-order it here.Follow Ed on Twitter @edsheeran and Instagram @teddysphotosRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the pumpkin of the internet, scooping out the seeds of good chats and carving in a face of humour. Two faces in fact, Ed Gamble and James Acaster plus a special guest, another little face on the back. I absolutely loved that. Thank you. Absolutely loved it. A wonderful seasonal intro. Yes, a seasonal intro. I did my spooky voice. I loved that podcast. It's a very good thing. So scary. This is the Off Menu podcast. And we invite a guest into the dream restaurant.

I'll be asking their favourite ever. Start a main course, dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran. I sing a songwriter. Hey, he's a global superstar. Yes. We don't need any introduction to Ed Sheeran. He's got a new album coming out. Equals. Equals. Which is out next week. Go and get it. Check it out. Very exciting. Very excited to have Ed on the podcast. I've seen him on Hot Ones. I know he likes food. Yes. So that's... If you want to impress James, all you need to do is get on an episode of Hot Ones. Just get on an episode of Hot Ones. And then you'll immediately go in his big book of respect. Yeah. Big book of respect. I keep it in my house and I'll write everyone a respect in there.

One day I hope I get on Hot Ones. So James respects me. Yeah. Good luck. Because right now, you are definitely not in that big book of respect. No. At all. However, even though Ed Sheeran is in the big book of respect, if he says the secret ingredient, we are kicking him out of the Dream Restaurant. Yes, we are. And the secret ingredient this week is candy corns. Candy corns. Candy corns. Halloween special. In America where Halloween is like huge. Yeah. Massive. And it's not candy corns. And it's... I'd say in the UK, Halloween is about horror. Yes. And in the US, there's this spoopy thing. Huh? Spoopy. Go on. Like fun spooky. Spoopy. Like not like kiddy sort of like. No. Did you absolutely say spoopy and now you're trying to pass it off? No.

Spoopy is a thing. Benito backed me up. Check it out. Spoopy. Spoopy. It's like cute. It's like cute spooky. Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense. Spoopy. My wife loves all the spoopy stuff. Okay. But it's spoopy, you motherfuckers. Okay. It's spoopy. So they do it all spoopy. They do do it fun and it is jolly. And over here, it is a lot more menacing and more about egging someone's house if they don't give you some sweets. Much prefer that. Yeah. It's your kind of thing because you like savory. So you like some eggs on your house. I love it. Scramble them up and fling them at my windows. Yeah. Yeah. It really played into your hands on that one. But candy corns, even a sweet tooth motherfucker like me. Yes. Really does not like candy corns. No. They're

too sweet. I don't like the texture of them in the mouth. Imagine loads of candy corns on a cob. Yeah. Candy corns on the cob. Candy corns on the cob. I'd rather eat the cob. Yeah. That's not often you say that. Yeah. Not often I say that, but I'd rather chop up a cob and eat it. Yes. You'd rather eat the cob. Have all the disgusting candy corns on the candy cob. But hopefully Ed Sheeran will not say candy corns. Hopefully he won't say candy corns, but we'll see. We'll see. I'm quite excited. Quite excited to go into this one and see what more kind of food Ed Sheeran likes. Well, let's go into it before I quickly say that I'm on tour next year, edgamble.co.uk for tickets and I've released a vinyl edgamblestore.com for that.

Pretty cool. Pretty, pretty cool. Pretty cool. Yeah. So now let's see the off menu menu of Dead Sheeran. Yeah. Welcome Ed to the Dream Restaurant. Cool. Welcome Ed Sheeran to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. The entrance of the genie there. Did you enjoy the entrance of the genie? I did. Yeah, I did. You did just say just before we started that you were going to be more strange than you were. Yes, I warned you. I gave you fair warning Ed Sheeran. I said, because I just had a very nice normal chat with you and I thought this guy needs to have given

a heads up that I'm about to do a genie noise and claim that, you know, I've burst out of a laugh. It's the first time we've ever given anyone a heads up as well. Yes, that's nice though. That's like, do people usually come in and then you go straight into the podcast? Pretty much because we've been doing a lot on Zoom, so it's quite difficult to have a pre-chat. Zoom podcasts are difficult, aren't they? Yes. I mean, it's still lovely to be able to talk, but I find in persons much more personable. Yeah, yeah. We love it. Actually, agreed. Also, this is a very exciting episode because I think, correct me if I'm wrong, it's our first time having another Ed on the podcast.

It is. I was thinking about this. Double Ed. Double Ed. So you're going to make the two Eds a bit of the one. Oh, I hadn't even thought of that. Not thought of that. Joe, what? I quit as a comedian. I quit. Again. I quit. If I can't come up with two Eds a bit of the one, Sheeran's now replacing me on the podcast. That's it. You're the new genie. What makes you laugh though? What actually tickles you? What makes me laugh? Two Eds a bit of the one. Two Eds a bit of the one. That's going to make me laugh for quite a while. Christmas cracker jokes.

Christmas cracker jokes. I don't know. I think it's funny when people get bullied. He loves bullying. That's funny. That's always pretty amusing. I need to hook you up with my security guard. Kev. I've never seen anyone take so much joy in the demise of this little bully in security guard. No, no, no. He's just, yeah, he's, he's Kev. He's funny. I love it that you just realized, I can't say any of this on the podcast. You just wait for every single story about Kev in your head. It went, no, all of that's going to end both of our careers. So I'm going to keep all that in mind. Oh, not mine. No, not his. Oh, I mean, he's just, he's who, who he is.

You want a security guy who's a bit of a bully though, right? Yeah. Yeah. But you know what's great about Kev is I've seen, I've seen Kev punched in the face and instead of punching the dude back, he got me in a car and out of there. So that, on that day I was like, oh, you're like, yeah, like there's a difference between someone who is just a alpha male, I guess, and someone who's a professional security guard. But you know, he dropped you off at the hotel, drove back and punched you in the face, right? Probably. Yeah. Probably. Also, in answer to your previous question, definitely one of the things that makes me laugh would be seeing a guy get punched in the face

and then just get in a car and drive away. That's definitely my sense of humor. It just takes the punch and then gets in his car, doesn't even retaliate and drives off. Love that. Yeah. I like that. Do you like meeting other eds? Is this the best edge you've ever met? Yeah. Do you know my, so in primary school, I was called Teddy. Uh-huh. And then another Teddy joined. So then I was just called Ed. I then another Ed joined and then I was just called Ed S. So every time I meet another Ed, it strips me of my identity a bit more. Yeah. Yeah, it's sad, isn't it? Does feel like, yeah, maybe, yeah, you've got the only Ed in the room anymore.

No. And also with you, normally on the podcast, he's swinging it about, he's the only Ed. I'm always saying, I'm the only Ed in this room. Yeah. That's sort of my catchphrase of the podcast, Ed. I talk about how I'm the only Ed. So really like that catchphrase is null and void now. Yeah, gone. I've got to be Ed G for the rest of the pod. Well, I'll be, I'll be Ed S. Okay, cool. Or Teddy. I mean, the other Teddy's not here anymore. Yeah, I think, I like Teddy. Yeah. So do I mate. That was, yeah, that's why I'm Teddy's photos on, on Instagram. My manager's wife still calls me Teddy and, but you know, I'm imagining now, would Teddy Sheeran be doing as well as Ed Sheeran? Yeah. Good question. Do you know, I,

that was quite a weird thing at the start of my career because everyone thought it was a stage name. Cause they were like, oh, it sounds so much like a stage name. And I remember being like, I always thought it was quite an odd thing to see on a poster. Cause it was your, I want to, when I was like 16, 17, I was, well, maybe it was 18. I considered changing it to Redwood and then Jedwood came on X Factor and I was like, I'm so happy. I didn't call yourself Redwood. Yeah. Cause I would have read him. Yeah. But Jedwood has become friends of mine and I love Jedwood and together we, they're like, it's John, it's Edward, it's Ed Sheeran. And together we are Jed Sheeran. So excited. I sent them a, I do, I paint and I sent them a painting and

they sent me a painting back that they did and it was actually really, really good. They're, um, well, so hold on. What was this, this musicians thing where you said each other painted? No, they just saw that I was doing, I painted my album cover and they saw that I did it and they said, would you do us one? And I was like, yeah, why not? And yeah, sent sent them one. And then they sent me one back of, uh, and it was painted for my daughter and it was like a cat with a drum kit and it was to hang in her bedroom. It's really sweet. Yeah, it's really nice. A cat with a drum kit. Are they excitable all of the time? For like 10, 15 minutes, they are Jedwood! And then when I'm like, guys, let's have like a conversation, then they kind of,

and then yeah, I've had really, really deep chats with them, but whenever people meet them with me, they're like, they are just Jedwood, but like they are, when did I first meet them? I think I was driving through Canada, no, Toronto, and I just saw them. They were just walking down the street and I rolled down my window. I was like, Jedwood! And they were like, hey, and then I picked them up and I took them to my hotel room. And then Insany was like, oh, fuck, what have I let myself in court? Because they were going on Google and showing me like signs just in Timberlake CDs, the thing, we're going to order this one, and we're going to order this one too. What do you think about this, Ed? And I was kind of like, guys, I need a sleep, so I just went to my room

and fell asleep and then they left, and I didn't see them again for a while. And then I saw them, I actually, this is like sounds name-droppy, but it's quite funny that I did a Beatles event and Paul McCartney was at it, and I was meant to hang with them afterwards, but I said no to go hang with Jedwood. They kind of like trashed the hotel room, but then put it back together. It was kind of the most Jedwood rock and roll thing, but man, they're really sweet kids. Well, they're not kids, they're my age, fucking hell. I just love the idea of you driving down the street and just seeing them. Jedwood! In my mind, it's in the middle of nowhere in Canada, like it's a completely blank landscape, and just in the distance, you can see Jedwood on the horizon.

Probably could have told who they were from quite a long way off. Yeah, well, they still had the big quiffs then. They don't have the quiffs anymore. That's Jedwood. You got a new album coming out, very exciting. You're wearing the hoodie of it as well. Are you wearing your own merch, Ed Sheeran? Yeah, I am. I never have. I've always worn clothes. We're getting all the exclusives. Interesting stuff. I'll have you know, Ed, a lot of the time the tabloids take stuff out of this podcast and they make big stories out of it, and if they know you've always worn clothes, that's going to go huge. But my record label have always made all-right merch. It's just the album name on a hoodie. And then recently, I don't know who is the new merch guy there,

but they're making really, really good stuff. I just started wearing it, and it's the first time my fan base have actually been like, oh, wow, we like this merch. Usually it's like, okay, we have to buy this t-shirt. But people really seem to like it, so I've started wearing it a bit more. Obviously, this podcast is not filmed, so slightly pointless, but you know it's coming out. We're looking at it. Weeper gets great. Equals. You've got the emblem on the chest. Why all the maps? Quite an aggressive question, James. Well, listen, I can't like explain it though, because people do find it odd, but I had reached a point in my career when I was like 19, where I was like, right, no one's going to sign me. I've got all these songs. I should just start releasing

stuff and see how it goes. So I set out a plan of 15 projects, and five of them were EPs, and I would do five different EPs in five different genres, I guess. So there was one band EP, one like acoustic produced up EP that ended up being like the sound of plus, one sort of duet EP with one girl called Amy, but it was a girl called Ledger that sung on it, then a live EP, and then a collaborations EP with the grime scene. And I was like, I'm just going to get all this music out there and see how it goes. And the first one came out and bombed. Second one came out and it had 18 on it. So it started getting some traction. Third one came out and it had a few of these love acoustic songs. So that started getting some traction. Then I did the live EP and people were

turning up to gigs, and then I did the collaborations EP, and then it all came together and blew up. So from that point, I was like, right, the next set is five albums where plus is the addition onto all the EPs, and it basically continues with the same sound, multiply makes it bigger, so takes it into stadiums, divide as a double album of R&B and acoustic. And then there were two more that were meant to go in a different order, but equals was always the end of the equation with all the sounds in one, which is what equals is, but then there's an acoustic record after equals. I was thought divide was a political thing because you bought it out in 2017 after the Brexit referendum and the country was divided. We actually pushed it back because of that reason.

We actually, it was meant to come in 2016, and it was the Brexit referendum and Trump getting in, and it was meant to come out the week of the election. And I remember being like, we should push this back to March because people will think that. And he still thought it. I still thought it, but that's because, you know, not everyone's as sharp as me. Shape of you's hardly a political statement though, is it? Sure. I mean, look, I'm not saying it was the play. When it first came out, I saw the title, I was like, whoa, here we go. The country's divided and Sheevan's commenting on it. It's got some stuff to say. I like all the calculator stuff. It's not really calculator

stuff, it's maths stuff. The maths came before the calculator. I like the idea, because all the albums have cut, so equals is red. Divide was blue, multiply was green, plus was orange. And I like the idea of, you see colours and then you see the symbol, and then you know what the album is. So we can do billboards all over London, and it can just be red with an equal sign, and people will be like, oh, it's got a new album coming out, rather than shoving it down people's throat. Do you think you'll ever bring out an album that's called 58,008? No, I've got one more maths one, and then that's the end of it. And I quite like the

tours called the mathematics tour, and because Americans don't say mathematics or maths, they say math, they're kind of like, what's that? Thank you for not changing it to the math tour to suck up to the Americans. Well, I actually love that the fact that it's all symbols, so whoever in press has to write it out, has to find where the divide is, and you have to go on a completely separate keyboard that you have to download, and it's just a ballache. James made a very immature joke there, and huge respect to you for skimming over it, calling the next album 58,008. That's just a meme that goes around. I wouldn't say that that's like an original joke.

Yeah, that's not an original joke. Ed Sheeran's next album is the square root of blah, blah, blah. Oh, so not only was it immature, it was unoriginal. You're saying? Well, what am I meant to do? It's a podcast. Can we come up with original material every week? You kidding me? You know how many episodes we have to be per series, though? How many series have you done? Six. Six, man. With 20 episodes each.

Yeah, so I think it's like we've done a hundred and thirty or so. You had repeat guess. No, never had repeat guess. Well, you turn it upside down and it says boobs. Yes. We know. Oh, that's some meta shit right there. Right, okay.

No one has done that joke. No one has done that joke before. That's, man. See? You are. Do you have the positive? Ed S. I do.

Yeah, I do. You guys are a bit of a positive. I never finished school, though, so I'm a bit of a positive. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone knows me and apology at this table. I mean, it's clever. I wouldn't say it's funny. It's clever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, I am laughing. So it is funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. First of all, the jokes. Clever.

You're not getting an apology off me. You're not getting an apology off me. Well, by the end of this podcast, you will apologize. We always start with still a sparkling water, Teddy. I would always go still, but sometimes when I'm not drinking, sparkling gives you the same. You can go out for a night out, have a squeeze of lemon in sparkling water,

and no one comes up to you and goes, why aren't you drinking? They just assume you're having a gin and tonic. So I would go sparkling if I'm trying to not get too fucked up. If you were just drinking flat water, and someone came up to you and went, why are you not drinking? Would that be how quickly you would be convinced

into drinking? Yeah. Would it be that quickly? Why are you not drinking? I'm sorry. No, it's more the peer pressure of seeing the, I'm not saying you can't have, I've had great nights out sober,

but I've just had more fun nights out glasses. Yeah, yeah. Also, what you're saying is sometimes you'll go out, you'll have a fizzy water with a lemon in it, and you'll act like you're drunk around it when you pretend. No, no, I'll just drink. No, it's less people coming up to you

and forcing you to take shots. Out of all your mates, who's the one who is the most like that? Who's like, why aren't you drinking? Man, come on. Mate, I mean, he's my best friend, a guy called Fred, and he would be, we had a party once, and everyone fell asleep at about two,

and everyone was like, we're fucked. And he used to live in Dubai, and he was over for like the day, and he was like, no, it's not ending. And I just remember being woken up with a Jaeger bomb. He sort of poked me, woke me up, gave me a Jaeger bomb, I downed it, and I went, I'm still going back to sleep.

Fred went back to bed, felt rough in the morning. Mate, he's the best, but he can rally the troops as well. If you're having, like, if everyone's dipping, he can rally the troops. He's like pure uni rugby lad. So he knows all the drinking games. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

Pure uni. Yeah, yeah. Well, in my mind now, Fred's the one who punched your suit security guard in the face. Like, probably, he was the one who did it. That would just never happen. But Fred's the, he's the start and end of a party.

He can just make a party happen. Even if everyone's sort of flagging, he'll make it happen. So if you walked in here now, we'd probably all be partying pretty soon. Not partying, but we'd be playing drinking games. Yeah. Very quickly.

Favorite drinking game? There's one called Sink the Bismarck, where you have a bucket and a pint glass and a bucket, and you all have your drink, and you all pour a little bit of water into the glass, and then there's another pint glass that you pour a bit of your drink into. And the person who sinks the glass,

so you pour tiny, tiny, tiny bits to keep it afloat, and it gets to a point where the glass is literally, like, on a knife's edge of falling. And then when it goes in, someone has to down the pint with everything in it. It works well if everyone's on gin and tonic, because you end up just drinking gin and tonic, but it's bad if, like, someone's on, like, red wine,

someone's on beer, someone's on Baileys. Yeah, yeah. But that's his, uh... You need a bucket for that one as well. That's his one where if we were, we sometimes go, like, en masse as a friendship group to Ibiza and go to one of those day clubs, and that's one that you play with loads of random people there,

and it's just fun. Just fun. Kevin and Perry? Kevin and Perry. That's all I know about Ibiza? That's all you know about Ibiza. Do you know what? My wife has never seen it, and I was like,

how have you never seen Kevin and Perry? So we started watching it, and I think because she's now watching it as a 29-year-old woman and not a 13-year-old kid, she was like, yeah, I don't know if I like this. Yeah. And I was like, but it's cult you have to watch with. It's culture.

It's pure culture. Yeah. It is weird showing someone as an adult something that you loved as a teenager, just as a part of your life. Yeah. And, like, your formative years and everything, and you think it's a classic,

and then you show another adult and you're like, oh, no. Well, like, Ali G in the house. I feel like every single one of my mates had that on VHS, and that was just something that we all watched. And now you meet people that haven't seen it, and you can't explain how, why that film was important, if that makes sense. Yeah.

Martin Freeman was in it. Oh, mate. I met him when I did The Hobbit. I did, like, a song for The Hobbit, and we did a press run. And I remember getting pissed and being like, man, I loved Ali G, and I think he wasn't my biggest fan, I don't think.

I tried to get him to do the Fargo accent all the time, so you're probably OK. Yeah. You probably came off better than I did. No, but I remember telling him it was a seminal role. Because, yeah, now he's Ricky C in it. I remember being like Ricky C, man. That's a seminal role.

Because you're Ed S. Even when you said it then, and I know you meant it, it sounded sarcastic. It wasn't, though. Yeah, I know. It was like that. But saying Ricky C is a seminal role. But that's not like, I didn't say, I only saw The Office

probably like four or five years ago, and I only watched it because I'd seen the David Brent on tour film. I just had never seen it. Right, OK, yeah. So I didn't know. I now watch it, and I'm like, oh, that's like, that's the cultural mark.

That's, hold on, hold on. Did you just say that your way into The Office was David Brent life on the road? Yeah, and I got shown it because someone said, this is like your life, because I had a load of mates employed on tour, and I watched it, and I was like, oh, man, this is quite depressing. There were so many different correlations.

Wow. But that's a fine way to get into it. I'm sure Ricky is. He's the first person I've met who has got into The Office by watching David Brent life on the road. But I got into it. This is the thing, the route into something great doesn't matter how you get into it.

It's just like, I'm not having a go. But you are. But is this blowing my mind? But you can't complain. This is the thing with great shows like that, that people are like, very, very protective over. You can't complain how people get into them. It's like, I didn't hear a Michael Jackson song until,

well, I knew that was a Michael Jackson song till I was about 12, and I saw him on top of the Pops to rock my world, and I'm like, who's this guy? And then from there, but I just didn't grow up with it. From that, I was like, I like his music, but you can't rag on me for not knowing something I'm not ragging on you. You know, I'm not ragging.

I knew that I knew that the office existed. I just have never seen it. No ragging going on here. You've got to stop ragging on it, man. Listen, actually, I apologize for the ragging. Pop it up, it's all bread. Pop it up, it's all bread, Ed Sheeran. Pop it up, it's all bread.

Christ, man, it's fucking nine. Oh, no, it's 10. It's 9.55. This is this is my thing in a restaurant. Yes, I would never eat bread on a table because I'd be like, why am I filling myself up for the meal? But I would always have poppy-dums. So I'd probably say poppy-dums,

but in a day-to-day life, I'd have bread every single morning. I just like, if I've gone out for a nice meal, unless it's like a really, really fancy restaurant, you know the bread's going to be warm and cooked and brought out. I'm probably not touching the bread beforehand. That's good. We don't get many people actually thinking about that. Yeah, and I appreciate it.

But you would always, if you go to an Indian restaurant and they put poppy-dums on the table, you would always go for them. Yeah, you've always got to go for them. Just to get the mouth fired up, get it started. But I think sometimes, so I went to like a three-mission in place the other day and the bread came out and it was almost a course

and it was almost the best thing of the meal because it was made into the warm bread and you got the buttery, salty stuff. But I would say if I'm going like to the local Italian around the corner, I'm going to have some nice pasta or a pizza. I wouldn't have bread before that. Yeah, good show. Yeah, so what are you thinking for this meal?

Because I was hoping you'd pick bread so I can call you bread shearing. So just keep that in mind. There's unofficial cards of me, which is just like a loaf of bread with my face on it. And I'm like, someone's getting paid for that, but it ain't me. And I get sent them as birthday cards. There's one with, that says egg shearing as well. That doesn't work as well as bread shearing.

But they're in like marks and spences and stuff and I see them. I'm like, who's sanctioning this? Because it's not us. That's Kev. That's Kev's side lens on it. It's punching the face because I can take that hit to the face. I'm absolutely rolling in the bread shearing money.

Have you ever bought one for anyone? I get sent them a lot. I get sent them a lot. I got sent them as cards for when my daughter was born, being like, congratulations on your daughter being born. And we're hoping one up being like, such a weird card to send someone. Congratulations on your daughter being born. Here's some money that she'll never see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she'll be fine. Also, I'm hoping that you choose brioche so I can call you bread shearing. Bread shearing, yeah. No, brioche, I find to, we got into those, you know, over lockdown, you get those like burger kits that you can send and cook at home. And brioche was always a bit too sweet for me. I think I just like a standard bun with sesame on the top.

I have said this on the podcast a lot, and people always disagree with me. People, it's, but it's not having, like I'm not saying like the shitty white breads that would be like 59. I'm saying like a nice bread roll with some sesame seeds on the top, I think is better than a brioche bun. Yes. The type of rolls that you buy from bakery for the barbecue.

100% on board. Like you don't want them there where they're like fluffy. Patty and bun do a demi brioche, which is slightly sweet, but it's still the patty and bun evangelist as always. It's good stuff, man. It's a demi brioche. It's half sweet. It's perfect.

It's just what you need. I'm up for trying that. I'm up for trying. There we go. Try it. You guys talk about patty and bun all the live long days. Ed, if you get them started on it, you won't stop talking about it. I will.

It's nice. I think patty and bun was one of the places I got the burger kit from. There you go. Did you enjoy it? I did enjoy it. What I enjoyed about it is it was sort of like being, mate, you're just going to, I'm not even going to go into this. It was just interactive eating.

I liked it. I was about to say it was sort of like being in a restaurant, but not. And then I was like, of course, that's the whole point in it. But that's a good point, though. To be fair, though, that's what was nice about those home kits is that even though it sounds like an obvious thing to say, when you are in that situation, we hadn't had that before. Yeah, it was just a nice experience to do.

And it takes at least like half an hour. And so that's half an hour of the day that's used. And you're basically, you're eating like stuff that you could order from Deliveroo, really, but you feel less guilty because you spent a bit of time making it. So this is in Suffolk. There's no, well, actually, there might be an Ipswich, but in Framlingham, where I live, there is no Deliveroo or Uber.

So I have people come visit and they're like, yeah, I'll just Uber home. And I'm like, no, you won't. You'll book a taxi a week in advance and you'll be happy about it. So there's nothing on Deliveroo. No, but there's like two kebab shops nearby that I will drive into. And because they're five minutes away, I'll ring them up just before I get, I'll like, can I have a chicken wrap and then I'll order it. And by the time I get there, it's done.

I'll pick it up and go home. So it's kind of... Do you feel like you made an effort for that as well, really? Yeah. Yeah, but then I'll like, probably eat it before I go home. Did you choose poppadoms or bread? I can't remember. Pop, well, I think you went poppadoms.

I think I chose poppadoms. Who went with poppadoms? Needs a good dip, though. What dip? What dip you think? I just think mango chutney. Even the other ones even getting a look in? Not really, no.

They're always brought out. There's a really fantastic Indian restaurant I go to in London called Gymkhana. And there's always three different... Or maybe even four different things. And I just always smash the mango chutney and then get more of that. We're big, big fans of Gymkhana on this podcast. So this is the life hack that I've found there, that the butter chicken and the rice is way too much for one person.

I always found myself being really full. But if you split it between two people, it's the perfect amount. Is that your order in most Indian restaurants? You go for the butter chicken? No, I'm actually a Vindaloo man. I really like Vindaloo. I know that's crazy. But I'll go veg.

I'll go veg usually. I think in a place like Gymkhana, it's quite good chicken. But if I'm anywhere around the country and I just want to curry, I'll usually go veg just to be on the safe side. Monk Jack Biryani, man. Every time I'm at Gymkhana. Yeah. I say every time as if I'm in there all the time.

But like every time I've been... And that was the best cook at home. That was the best cook at home. That's the best cook at home. Yeah, the Gymkhana one. I've been doing that whenever friends of mine have babies. Because I find that when you have a kid, you lose date night. Because you're suddenly looking after the kid every second of the day.

But sometimes it will get to Friday night and they'll be asleep. And you can't go out. But it's quite nice to... So I send these kits to people, friends of mine have kids. And then on a Friday night, it will be going to Gymkhana, but not. Wow. So when your friends have babies, you send them a Gymkhana cook at home kit? The last few...

We've had a really close friend have babies in Suffolk. And I found the best thing that you can send somewhere... Because everyone sends stuff for the babies, firstly. But they always forget about the mother. And it's a massive change and a massive shift. And a huge birth itself is pretty fucked up. And the best thing to do is send scented candles or a nice bath salt or something. And frozen lasagnas that they can just put in the freezer and not think about.

And they go, what's for dinner tonight? That frozen lasagna. So I usually would send like a stack of 10. So yeah, I think it's thinking ahead. I might have a kid now. Oh, this is... If a friend of yours has a kid, don't send them... Like obviously send them cute clothes or whatever.

Because that is lovely as well. But just maybe send them a frozen meal or a cook at home meal or... Yeah, something for the mum. Man. It's a good shout. Probably the nicest person you've ever had on the podcast. You've ever had anyone this nice or not? I feel like a piece of shit.

What the hell? I'd never think about them ever. My own sister's got kids. I was exactly the same. A friend would have a kid. I'd send him a teddy bear and a onesie and then be done with it. Just yesterday gave a toy monkey to my friend. He's just had a baby.

And that's totally fucked. But I'm saying from having a kid, I realized fuck, like... Sorry, I'm seeing him next week. I'm taking a frozen lasagna with me. And that he will appreciate that so much. I promise. Although he's got to get it home. So it'll probably be defrosted by the time.

Sure. But then even better. Or just send him a patty and bun cook kit. I'm going to send him a patty. He's vegetarian, but I'm still going to do that. What patty and bun don't do veggie. Oh yeah, they probably do. But I'm going to send him a meat one.

So I grew up veggie, right? And the veggie options when you were a kid were shit. And I just remember always... It's probably why I started eating meat. I got to 13. I was at school, sausage rolls were there. There was burgers. And I was like, fuck this.

But now the vegetarian option is now better than the fucking meat option. Linda McCartney was like the top top. But I remember although the corn, like fake chicken burgers, on tour there was our tour chef would make like a fake KFC Zinger burger with that. Oh. And it was banging. When I was doing my B-Tech in music practice course in Norfampton College, for two years, me and my friend Graham every Friday went and got Zinger tower burgers

from KFC and would watch the extreme sports on the TV. Cool. Perhaps CY didn't continue in music because that's what he spent his time doing when he should have been learning about it. Yes, wasn't practicing. We get onto your proper dream meal now, starting with your dream starter.

Is this from a specific place or is it like a general dish? So I fucking love Nagiri. I love, I love, I love Nagiri. And there is a place where me and my wife go for our anniversary, which is the Iraqi in London, which is on my cat. So this is what I love about restaurants is where it's taken out of your hands. And there's no, well, there is a menu, but you rarely wouldn't look at it. And it's like a tasting thing.

And someone just goes, hey, here's something you'll like and you eat it. And you go, yeah, I like that. And here's something else you like. And I find Omakase sushi is so much of that because sushi is a minefield sometimes. You go, I don't fucking know. And having a chef go, hey, try that. Hey, try that.

And it's such a quick thing. You don't use any cutlery. It's just with your hands. And I love that. So I would say Nagiri and I would say medium fatty tuna, Nagiri. Very nice. I love it. Tuna's the way to go.

Tuna. Yeah. Although it, we probably should slow down a bit. Yes. With tuna. Sure. To be fair, absolutely we should all slow down on tuna. They're massive.

Have you seen a tuna? They're huge. That's the problem though, right? We should all get one big tuna at the beginning of the year. Yes. And we've got a portion, portion ourselves. This is what the like top, top sushi restaurants in Japan do. You know, they'll sell tunas for like a million pounds.

Yeah. One sushi restaurant will buy that tuna for a million pounds and then that will just be them for a long time. Wow. I didn't know that. And it's good publicity because people go, oh, they bought the million pound tuna. They bought the million pound tuna.

If that had hurt though, wouldn't it? Spending a million pounds on a tuna. I imagine so. Yeah. Imagine so. Imagine not refrigerating it properly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be really good if people didn't say they bought the million pound tuna.

If I bought a million pound tuna and no one talked about it, I'd be like, what the fuck did I do that for? Bought a million pounds. I spent a million put on that tuna. Yeah. You at least want people to say, I want to hear people saying when I walk past, he bought the million pound tuna.

I feel like they wouldn't be saying it in a nice way though about you. They'd be like, oh man. Especially if I just bought a million pound tuna. You didn't have a restaurant or a fridge that could fill it. You just had this thing rotting in your house. What have you done that for? It's like, I sent it to a new mum. I just sent it home.

There's a million pound tuna for you. I know it can be tricky, can be hard. It can be tricky being a new mum. People don't often think about the mum. Very, very good. Thank you. Thank you. I'll put that shame in there.

Very, very good. This is where I see the professional comedian come out. Here he comes out. I mean, we're about half an hour into the podcast though. I'll be throwing them out left, right and centre. But finally, you ain't got a fist bump over there. No, no, I'm not looking for one. I'm not looking for one.

No, well, you're not going to get it with that attitude. Tuna nigiri, fatty tuna nigiri as well. You want a proper... Medium fatty specifically. Yeah, well, the Iraqi do, they do three tuners. One's like normal, one's medium fatty, one's really fatty. And they're all, they're all great. It's a great spot.

It's one of these places where, because it's quite, it's a weight to get into. So when you're there, you really, really appreciate it. Feels like a special night out. Yeah. Well, there's only like 10 seats, I think. Oh, wow. So, yeah, and it's just great.

It's just great. Probably, that's probably my favourite restaurant in the world, I'd say. My mum refuses to eat sushi. She just doesn't like the thought of raw fish. She eats fish, but she just thinks it's... She's actually very open-minded with food. But with this, she's always like,

no, I'll never touch it. Doesn't want to eat it. Do you have a message for her? For her? Do you know what I used to be a pizza and chips man? And that was all I ate. And then when I started travelling the world, my thing of it was if a whole culture goes,

this is our thing and we love it, then I'm going to give it a go. I'm going to give it a go. Because when you go into any restaurant and there's a chef there and they specialise in something, it has to be good. It has to be. It's probably a way of like easing into it.

If she went to more of a Californian-Japanese restaurant, she could probably ease into it a bit more because it's more westernised, I guess. And then she'll be like, oh, I quite like this. And then she could start trying stuff. I think if she goes straight into Nagiri, maybe she wouldn't like it. But I think maybe try like a soft shell crab tempura roll first.

You know? Yeah, I wonder if I could get that pasta. My dad's a soft shell crab. Yeah, of course he does. Yeah, yeah. It's the thing he loves now. He didn't used to love it. And now he takes me the other day saying,

just take a soft shell crab and then you write, oh yeah. Well, I never really loved Nagiri. It was always the part of that I would go just pure Californian rolls with fried stuff in the middle with mayonnaise on top. But I think going to Japan and I think having a menu taken away from you is the key. Where someone just goes, you'll like this. And you just try new things.

I went to my friend. I had a pop-up at Quality Wines. And he runs like actually a good food delivery thing called Dekota that do like shrimp oils and stuff. And I went to that the other night. And he went, do you want to order stuff or shall I just bring you stuff out? I went, just bring me stuff out.

That's brilliant. Take the decision out of my hands. What I didn't realize was he brought us everything on the menu. I mean, literally everything on the menu. So you're just trying little bits. Not trying little bits. No, eating the whole thing of every dish that came out. Right.

And we rolled out of that place. It felt awful. The really horrible end to the night. Well, you've sent me photos of food from that place. And it's massive. Yes. Humongous. Well, this is the key with trying stuff on the menu.

It has to be, so I didn't, I always went to Jim Connor and I just ordered a butt chicken and rice. And then the other night I was like, oh, there's a tasting menu. And I've been going there for like seven or eight years. But the tasting menu is more bite-sized stuff. Yeah. So I think if you're going to do that, it needs to be, like if there's like a burger on the menu of this place

that you go to, it should be a little bit of it. And then you try that. I can't do it, Ed. I can't do it. If I've got to finish it, I've got to clean the plate. No, no. I mean, they should be offering you a little bit rather than- I think he was doing it to test me.

I think he was doing it to test me. Do you have a strict dad when you were younger? No, not really. But actually he's very, my dad is very like- Clean the plate. You're like, I'm a child of the 50s. You've got to eat everything. You can't waste anything.

And to tell you the truth, we never wasted anything. And that's the most difficult thing about trying to eat in America is the portion size is huge. And I always feel now, I used to always finish them, but then I turned into a fat cunt. And then now when I go back, I have to just ask, can you just half or quarter it? Um, yeah.

Ed's dad's crazy. Yeah. He's a mad, he's a mad man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Elaborate him. Well, I'm just a weird guy. He's not. I mean, you're the, you're the weirdest guy I know.

If that- I don't think you are. I think you put this on weird. We hung, we hung before the podcast. And I was like, I wouldn't have guessed. And then suddenly you switched it on. What's really interesting is, uh, you're having a lovely chat before the podcast.

You said, and you've never said this to a guest before, I'm quite weird on the podcast. And now you are being weirder than you have ever been on the podcast. And I really respect you. Yeah, I really, I love, I love, I love being weird. But also it's because Ed Sheeran is such a nice and normal man that I feel like in order to address the balance, I have to go even weirder.

Because you're a very nice normal. I'm sure you've heard that before. You can go weirder if you want. Thank you. You can do. Do you remember when, uh, Chris Ramsey got you to sing a song on the toilet? That was my, my toilet.

It was your toilet? Yeah, yeah. I just bought that house and he came for, like just before New Year or something. And, uh, yeah, I can't remember why. Oh, it was Christmas. And I was singing a Christmas song. Yeah, yeah.

It was like 2012. I just, I bought my house in February of that, of that year. And I was very proud of it. But it was, it was, it didn't really turn into a house until my wife moved in, because it was just mattresses on the floor and like one television with a PlayStation kind of thing. But that was, was Chris's idea,

because he did a, it was a, he filmed, because he had his Nando's jumper on, his Nando's Christmas jumper. He wanted to get a black card. He wanted to get a black card. And who knows, we, I guess we can't legally say if he's succeeded. I think he did, I think he did get one.

But Nando's, it's, uh, It didn't exist. The black card doesn't exist. May I show you? Oh, well, fair enough. There we go. Ed, you're not supposed to say they exist. Have you got one?

Have you just slapped them? No, because they don't exist. You've got one, haven't you? No, because they don't exist. I'll tell you this, Ed. Make example showed one on camera. That's example. Examples.

Do you know why, do you know why, do you know why example got one, um, got one originally? He was the first ever person to get one. And he got one originally because he put them on the front cover of his mixtape. If you look at, we didn't invent the remix. There's a Nando's on the cover.

And they were just like, yeah, I guess. Here's the black card. Genuinely, I have Nando. When I'm, because I'm not in London all the time, but I genuinely, genuinely have it every single lunch. I mean, Claire will tell you, if, like, if I'm doing promo, it's always an extra hot chicken wrap and a coleslaw every time.

And, uh, and, and it's like every single day because it's, I'm a, I'm a creature of habit. And I just want some, sometimes you just want the same thing every, every time. Like I'll try, I'll have like a different dinner, but I just like the same lunch. Nando's is good for that as well, because it's consistent across the country.

But not across the world. Different, different tastes and flavors in South Africa where it's created different tastes and flavors in Canada, really different tastes and flavors in Australia. And I sat with the, I went to South Africa and I got invited to a Shabbat at the owner's house and he had all his family around big, big Jewish party. It was amazing.

And I was talking to him and I was like, why did it taste different here? And why does it taste in Australia? And he's like, because the taste buds around the world and the trends of what people like actually changed. So England quite like a zesty spice. And our extra hot here is like really, really spicy because that's what we dig.

If you go to any fast food restaurant now, there's always something on the menu that will blow your head off. Whereas it was quite plain 20 years ago. And he said it's just different in Canada and different in Australia and different in South Africa. So they just shift it. Just to let you know,

I imagine that entire conversation being conducted with a giant cockerel. Yes. He's, you know, as a company, he does amazing things as a company. I mean, what they do in the community over there and all the stuff in the restaurants here, all the art is all local artists from there.

All the music is local artists. And they give back, really give back to the community. And it was, I went to go and do some stuff for them there. I went to do a chat and see the studio and stuff like that. But yeah, I liked it. And I liked him. But you did not give a straight yes or no answer to, is he a giant cockerel?

Yeah. So that makes me think he is a giant cockerel. And you were avoided the question. Well, there's two people that created it. So he is not. But the other guy might be. Right. So you haven't met the other guy.

He might be a giant cockerel. OK. Will you join me in saying that New Zealand Nandos can suck it forever because it's the worst Nandos have ever been to? There was a lot wrong with my visit to New Zealand. Oh, they had it in New Zealand. I've never been in New Zealand. They've only been to New Zealand.

New Zealand Nandos went very badly. No one joined. No one greeted me at the door and asked me if I've been to Nandos before. I had to take a seat myself. You had to just get a bottle of drink. They didn't have the bottomless soft drinks. Oh, mate.

But that's half the thing with the crushed ice. Is that clear? Oh, and listen to this, Ed. I went the other night and I think they've got new drinks machines and they've got Cherry Pepsi Max available. There you go, man. So when I was on the circuit, and I was, I know we said, but I did like Camden Head and stuff,

when I was on that circuit, they didn't sell Nando sauce in the supermarket. So the only way you could get it is steal it. And I remember going into Nandos and I remember bumping into my cousin straight afterwards. And I was really, it was the only thing I've ever stolen in my life. And I was really shaky afterwards.

I was like, why are you so shaky? I was like, I've just stolen a bottle of Nando sauce. A whole bottle. And this is how the universe got me back. I went on a tube to a gig. I arrived at a gig and the bottle had smashed in my bag. Yeah. All over my loop, had all my equipment, everything.

How spicy was it? It was, I think it was a medium. I think it was a medium, yeah. Could have been worse. So Nandos, I'm sorry. I took a sauce from Dulston Nandos in 2008. You deserved that. Instant karma.

Instant karma. And for like a year, my loop station smelled of Nandos. Just like a constant reminder. So is your dream main course, Nandos, or are we going somewhere else? I'd probably go curry. I'd probably go curry with some naan. That'd be interesting.

I've sushi as a starter for that, wouldn't it? Yeah. Or it would be a vodka rigatoni pasta. One of those, but really spicy. Let's hear about that. I've not heard of a vodka rigatoni before. So the first time I had it was in this restaurant in America called Carbone.

And I've never really found it in Italy. I think it's like an Italian-American creation, but it's like spicy, creamy, tomato pasta. And it's really great. I actually put it on the menu at my bar in Notting Hill just to have it somewhere where you could eat it in London. So if you ever want to try it, it's a... I'm not going to plug my...

Don't do. No, absolutely plug your bar. Please do. I'd love to hear about this. On Portobello Road, it's called Bertie Blossoms. Do you know what I hate about lots of... You go to a pub and there's like a huge menu. And you go, you can't do all of these things amazingly.

So we tried to do... There's three mains that are spot on. And there's lots and lots of little starters that you can go to. But the mains are... You have a steak and chips, fish and chips, and this vodka rigatoni. But the rigatoni's just banging. See, I mean, you say you don't want to plug it,

but as soon as you said that, I'm like, I'm going to go Bertie Blossoms and get a vodka rigatoni. I'd say it's my favorite pasta in London. I'm not just saying that because it's my place, but I'd go there if I've got a free afternoon. Like I would go there later today just to get that pasta and then I'd go elsewhere. Who is Bertie Blossoms?

So it's owned by me and my manager. And Bertie is his wife, Lib Bertie. And Blossoms is my wife, Cherry Blossom. So Bertie Blossoms. We were trying to think of a name and that just fit. Because Lib runs the bar as well. Right, okay. Yeah, it just fit.

Sort of sounds like a really wanky posh boy place. Well, we should go to Bertie's, you know? But it's actually a really nice home cook bar with great... There's good beers on tap. There's like a great wine selection that my mate... My mate's a sort of wine merchant sommelier guy. So he's picked a great wine selection. And then Lib's a fiend for champagne.

So if you like champagne, she's got you covered. I like the thought of a man called Bertie Blossoms. So I don't really think of like a posh boy. I think of like a... No, no, I'm not saying the man. An eccentric man. I'm saying the bar. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Shall we go to Bertie's? Yes. Bertie, you know, I think Bertie Blossoms would be posh. I think no. I think you'd be on the team... On the rugby team with your friend, Fred. The big mad hat, a top hat. I'd be walking around and it would like open and close at the top,

the top hat. Where did he would be all over the place? And Pasta would come out the top of the hat. The big bow tie. Yeah. Bertie Blossoms is here. If you guys want to go, let me know. I'll make sure they take care.

We will. We'll take you up on that. I'm ordering the vodka rigatoni. What are you ordering, Ed? Well, I did want the vodka rigatoni, but as you know, I can't order the same as anyone else. What do you think about that? See, I would actually always order the same as someone

because I would never want to feel like their meal was... I never want to look across the plate and get meal and... Well, then if we went out for a meal, we'd be stuck in an infinite ordering loop. Because every time I chose what I wanted, you'd order the same and I'd have to change... No, we'd just go, you bring out what you want and they'd just... Because then...

Yeah, then we're sorted, actually. Choice is taken out of our hands. Yeah, and as we know, this guy will finish every single morsel. Every single morsel, even if I feel like I'm about to explode. I won an ice cream eating competition in America because of that. Tell us every single detail. Yes, please tell us this. How old were you? When was it? Where was it?

I was 22. How many other people in the competition? I was 22 and I was on tour with Taylor Swift and she had invited my family to go and stay with her. How did she do in the ice cream eating competition? She played Eye of the Tiger over and over and over and was going, you can do it, you can do it. Let me tell you the story.

Taylor Swift put the ice cream in a blender and had it as a drink, a shake. My brother, so she can shake it in the front, yeah, there you go. Shake it half-head. How do you like that? No fist bump? No fist bump for that one? No. Both of them are here.

No, that's just taking... I'll put them out there if you want a bump up. That's just taking a bit of pop... If you want a bump up, they're right there. A bit of pop culture and a thing that people eat. And if you want a bump up... Oh, go on. Yeah.

So she had invited us to her place in Rhode Island, so we got there and she said, this is great little ice cream place in the town. We went there and they had this ice cream eating competition called the Big Kahuna Challenge. And at this point, I'm, as you said, like you finish everything on your plate. And I was like, I can do this.

Like, I know I can do this. And it was something crazy, like two liters of ice cream. And I was like, I can do that. So I said, we'll do it, I'm there with Taylor and my brother and they bring this ice cream out, but you have to add toppings. And I stupidly said, gummy bears. Which are, you know, they're gonna fill you up. So I start eating this thing and I get maybe a halfway through

and I go, man, I'm killing this. And then because it's Taylor, lots of fans started turning up. So in the end, there's like 20 or 30 young girls going, you can do it, Ed, you can do it. So I'm eating this thing. I get to sort of three quarters and I start shivering. And I'm like, oh man, this is actually really, really fucked up. And I'm there and I'm shivering.

I've got like one and a half liters of ice cream in me with these gummy bears. And I'm shivering, but then I've got the pressure of all these kids watching me and Taylor's playing Eye of the Tiger and my brother, like, my brother still says to this, to this, to this day, like, and I've had a lot of achievements in my life. My brother still says the proudest he's ever been of me

is when I finished the big kahuna challenge. So, so I finish it. Everyone's like, yay. And I go, I have to go to the toilet and I go to the toilet. And when I say I projectile vomits out of my nose ice cream and it's chocolate ice cream. It goes all over the floor of the toilet. And I'm like, there's 20 kids in here.

They're going to come in here and think that I've shat all over the floor. So then I had to clean it up. So I'm there wiping all this like melted ice cream. But like, I was in there for probably like half an hour. Anyway, clean, clean it all up, went, went outside. Everyone's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, I got a t-shirt.

They took my picture and they put it on the wall. And I felt very proud to be on the wall. I think lots of people have done the challenge now, but at the time my stomach could take a lot. And now it's, imagine being one of those gummy bears. What a wild ride those guys went on. If you ever, but if you ever going to do it. Ed Sheeran, where am I going?

I have the time. Coming out of a Blake's nose. Was one of the people who finished the challenge before you named Mitch? No. Why have you checked? There's a bloke on YouTube called Matt Stoney. The, I've seen Matt Stoney.

He eats like 25 Big Macs in 25 minutes. Yeah. It's insane. And he's tiny as well. It's insane. What is it? He ate a 20,000 calorie burger that I watched. I watched him do it.

It was something like eight kilograms. Sorry. Is that his YouTube channel? There's just Matt Stoney eating all the big food. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to watch that. Yeah.

It's, mate. It's insane what he does. His shits must be insane. Do you know what I wonder? When I did a separate YouTube channel. When I did the, the hot ones, what I said afterwards, I was like the, the hot one should not be a half an hour interview. It should be a day documentary about, because I had to fly,

I had to fly home after that with like, I had a six or seven month old baby. And just my piss stung, my face stung. I was still crying. Don't know what was going on the other end, but like the documentary should be that, but that bloke does it five days a week. It's crazy.

He must have, he must have some issues down. I don't think he leaves that chair. No. Your dream side dish. Do you know it's always good to have a side salad? Just, just so it makes you feel a little bit better. Sure. A little bit better.

So I would say a green salad with cucumber. Just to cut through, just to cut through everything else. I'm saying this, but I don't actually want that. I'm just, that's, that's just a mental thing to make me feel. I think, mate, a bowl of chips, just a bowl of chips. Now we're talking. Just a bowl of chips. And then if it's the vodka rigatoni,

you soak it up with the chip. What kind of chips are we talking? Chunky. Chipshop chips. So we're talking the triple fried. No, no, I don't like the triple. I don't, I don't really like french fries. I love chip shop chips, but they wouldn't fit, you know,

if we, if we were doing it, but it's the, do you know, like the kind of fat rectangular ones, like McCain oven chips, but not McCain oven. Like actually like cut potato ones that are fried. Those, those ones. So not like too chunky and not sure. I find the triple fried ones are just a bit too messed up. Did you find that the pandemic ruined chips for you?

No, because they always arrived soggy. Right. Yeah. I just found it just stopped eating chips. Yes, I definitely did stop eating chips in the past. I wasn't even ordering them for that reason. Because they would just arrive soggy. Yeah.

I mean, you're not having them in a restaurant. I wouldn't really order chips on delivery anyway. I don't think. No, you sort of learn, learn your lesson. Yeah. And I wouldn't do like oven chips ever. Oven chips in an air fryer. That's, that's where it's at.

You got an air fryer? Got, my mom got me an air fryer for Christmas here. Lovely. It's banging. I only do oven, I do oven chips and birds eye chicken dippers in it. I get a wrap and I put loads of salad in it. I put some birds eye chicken dippers in it and I put Nando sauce on it.

That was, you basically do a Nando's wrap. Yeah. Crispy Nando's. Yeah. It was really early when you said that you favor the Nando's wrap extra hot. That is also my order. My man. But thank you, fist bump again.

Yeah. Ed, you got no fist bump over there. I'm fine. That is sad. I did fist bump you when you came in. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. But also, I don't want a fist bump from a couple of wrap boys.

Thank you. Oh. Oh, no. So if I'm trying to be healthy, I go butterfly chicken, corn and the cob match and peas. But when I sometimes you're on the move and you're like, I've got like two minutes to eat lunch, get a wrap, smash a coleslaw. I have received a lot of grief on this podcast

for not only getting the wrap. Well, strap in for this, Ed. Because in the wrap, I also always put cheese and pineapple. What do you think about that, Ed Sheeran? I wouldn't personally do it. But I love a just normal margarita pizza. But if I ever go Domino's or Pizza Hut or Papa John's, Hawaiian is great.

Oh, my gosh. Yes. It is great. I'm not saying traditional pizza restaurant. I'm not going to go to- Take your fist bump back, Ed Sheeran. I'm not going to go to Napoli and ask for a fucking- But if you're going Pizza Hut, that is,

I feel like that is acceptable. It's technically cake anyway. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It is a big old cake. I had my 29th birthday at Pizza Hut in Belo Horizonte in Brazil. They were like, what do you want to do for your birthday? In Brazil?

In Brazil? You went to Pizza Hut for your birthday? Yeah. I was just like, I used to go to Pizza Hut parties as a kid and I was like, fuck it, let's rent a Pizza Hut, bring in some, we had some fucking nice wine as well. So we got these like, we got these like Jeroboams of really, really good wine with pizza.

And everyone had a great time. Yeah. We ate pizza, we had the garlic bread, we drank some fucking water. We stood at the ice cream factory for an hour and a half with Taylor Swift. No, they didn't have, so that was one thing they didn't have. They didn't have an ice cream factory or a drinks.

It was sort of like a takeaway Pizza Hut, but they had tables in it, but they sort of blacked off all the windows. So no one could see in and we just, it was really fun. It was really fun. We had a little birthday hat. Amazing. Yeah, it was great.

Who was there? Who was there at the 29th? There's an artist called Passenger, who's a singer-songwriter that was touring with me. There was my, I had a few of my school friends there. My friend Fred actually, the guy that we sort of, his birthday is the day before mine, so it's kind of like a joint thing.

And then some of my tour crew, and then there was a guy who had a house that threw us a party afterwards. So we went there, but I left and my friends carried on to like midday the next day. I remember getting up, I woke up at like 8 a.m. I went to the gym, watched half a movie, blah, blah, blah. And I went in my friend's room in the hotel.

I was like, fucking hell, you're still going? Jesus Christ. And they're just there in silence, staring at a computer screen, listening to Bonnevue. Your dream drink then, that segues quite nicely into your dream drink. Now, we just talk a bit about drinks. Yeah.

Even before the podcast, you go an alcoholic drink or you go- Yeah, I'd say so. One of the fancy pizza hot wines? Yeah, probably. I gave up spirits. I will have spirits like every now and then, but I find spirits, they just don't suit me.

And I love beer and I love wine. And I would never want to give up alcohol, but I feel like if I went down the spirits route anymore, it would, I would probably have to at some point. And I do feel that the key to beer is one and a half beers. I don't think it ever gets better. Nothing gets better than the first pint. And once you finish the first pint,

you go buy one another one. But if you get to the end of the second, it's... So I'm always like one and a half pints. And then I'll move on to wine. And wine really, I'm sort of open to whatever. I'll usually go like regional if I'm in a country. I really like some of the new world wines. I really like Australian wine.

I really like Californian. But I do go French a lot, French and Italian. Are you leaning more towards a red French wine then for your dream drink? Yes. And I think if I'm having a vodka rigatoni, I would go burgundy. Well, maybe something heavier actually.

Yeah, I'd start off with a bottle of burgundy and move to a bottle of bordeaux, I think. He's a big wine guy. I'm not a big wine. I mean, I like wine. But I think to claim to be a big wine guy is really wading into deeper waters than I can handle. My wife got me a sommelier course for my birthday.

Amazing. So I could actually... I've really, really liked it. I never really liked wine until I was like 24. I think because I had just always drunk box wine as a kid. So you just have the goon bag and you have... And I still don't like white wine. I still can't do...

All white wine just tastes like medicine to me. But reds I really delved into. And I really like a good red. The white wine red wine thing is so hard because I was like that for a long time. I just wouldn't drink white wine because the bad white wines you have when you start drinking will put you off for life.

I think that's it. And I think I'll probably from this sommelier course learn how to appreciate white. But it just all... I just don't like it. And I like basing a meal around a bottle of red. So my... If I've had an achievement of something,

my way to market is I will like... So for the end of the tour, I'll be saying, okay, well, this is the end of the tour. And for that day, I'm going to get this bottle of wine and I'm going to have this meal around it. And then at the end of the meal, I have a shelf in my house that is just full of wine bottles that are all signed and dated.

And this restaurant and this date and then all the people that are there sign it. And then you're left with all these memories, basically. Every achievement that I have had for the last maybe four or five years is marked with a bottle of wine that is on a shelf now. That I remember the date and the memory. And that I don't spunk money on wine and just go, I'm just going to drink this because it's a Tuesday night.

But I'll buy a really, really nice bottle of wine and then have it in my cellar and look forward to drinking it on a specific day, if that makes sense. It does make sense. And also like I'm sitting here quite regretful now that I've not marked any of the achievements of my life with anything. That's not right.

I don't think I've got anything in my flat that kind of represents anything I've done. Start doing it. Start doing it with wine bottles. Because you look back at these amazing nights. I had a friend who passed away in March and I actually got the idea from him because every time we go over to his house,

we'd sign a bottle and his house is just full of these things. And he was a music promoter. So he's got like Bruce Springsteen, Frank Sinatra. He did like all these amazing people and these amazing meals on bottles. So I just started, I adopted it from him. I guess a nice thing as well is when he had passed away,

I had all these memories on my wall as well of nights that we'd had together. I bought like a half bottle of Chateau Margot and that was the first meal that we'd had back in the house with our daughter. But it was a tiny bottle so my wife could like have a sip of it. And so we've got Lyra's first meal

and that's on the shelf. I've got my 30th birthday. I've got my dad's 64th. My mum's 60th. It's just nice memories. I'd recommend doing it. I'm going to copy that idea, I think. It's also, have you got all the wine bottles

of all your achievements and amongst that is a nice cream bottle covered in six. No, actually. No. Well, my brother thinks that's my biggest achievement. Yeah. Yeah, my brother's very, very proud of that.

Did you go half a year ago got to buy the wine because we've got to mark this achievement even though I feel like I'm going to puke again. No, I only started. My first wine marking was 2016, I think. That was 2013. It was a good year.

My favorite year of wine to get is 2011 because that's the first year I actually had success. So, oh, mate. So, there's this one, the wine that I proposed to my wife with, I was like, I want to drink that wine every year, once a year for the rest of my life. And I ordered what I thought was 60 bottles

but it was 60 cases of six. So, I've just... Oh, my God. It arrived. 60 cases. Bro. And it wasn't like... Man, I hope that managed last.

So do I. Yeah, yeah. So do I. And if it doesn't, I've got enough to drown myself in. Yeah, he always goes straight to the cellar. Well, here we go. Another day, another case. We arrive at your dream dessert,

my favorite course. And I'm quite optimistic here that it's going to be a good one because you've won an ice cream eating competition. I can tell that, you know, you like sweet things. We're not going to go down the awful cheeseboard route or anything like that. Ed, if you do feel like you want to get a cheeseboard,

you should get a cheeseboard. I would never... I see. I think cheeseboard at the end is a mistake. I think cheeseboard would for starters. I think that's what you need for starters. Just to, you know, excite the palette with a bit of fucking mold.

Don't end on mold. Start on mold. Well, it depends. It depends where you are. If it's a fancy restaurant, they're like Apple... I want to just say Apple tart, but it's Apple tart... Tart tartan.

Yeah, tart tartan. They're always done really well in a great restaurant. But I think if you're in like a... My security guard, Kevin, and my manager, Stuart, fucking love Hard Rock Cafe, so we'll be... We were in Japan, and we shot the I Don't Care video, and my mate, Emil, had flown over for the day, like literally a day.

And he was like, right, going out for sushi. And I'm like, no, sorry, we're going out to Hard Rock. This is amazing. Pizza Hut in Brazil, Hard Rock Cafe in Japan. I went to Hard Rock Cafe in... Me and my wife went to Antarctica with my manager, Stuart, and my security guard. And in Oshawa, which is the last place in Argentina

that you're at before you go to Antarctica, there's a Hard Rock. And they're sort of like... It's not like Michael Jackson's glove, but it's like Kylie Minogue's sock or something like that. It's really bottom of the barrel stuff. And I think they were quite freaked out that I was there, because I don't think anyone well-known has ever...

Because well-known people aren't really going to go into a Hard Rock Cafe, because you are going to get trouble, but we love it so much that we just end up there. So I'm saying if we're in a Hard Rock, something like a profiterole, or one of those massive chocolate... Is there anything of yours in a Hard Rock Cafe displayed somewhere? Yeah, I get asked to... I just don't... And they're all the time, so...

Well, I get asked to donate stuff to loads of things. I don't know if it's in Hard Rock, or if it's in a museum, or if there's loads of my stuff's out there, and I just don't know where it is. But I'm sure there's probably something in Hard Rock Hyde Park. But I'm not really Hard Rock, am I? Sort of like medium... There are a lot of the stuff in Hard Rock Cafe, though, really, is it? They just mean like music.

That and TGI Fridays. TGI Fridays... I used to live in Guilford, and there was a TGI Fridays there. Actually, the weather spoons in Guilford. That was real. That was real. A burger and a pint for £3. I mean, firstly, how would you do that? So you're immediately suspicious when you're eating it? I know, but mate, I was like 18. You're not suspicious when you're 18,

and you can get a burger and a pint for £8. I find the worst people are with me when they're like blitzed, like really, really drunk, because I'd just kind of get picked up and handed around like a rag doll. Oh, my God. And spoons. I'd love to go to a Spoons again, though. I was saying on Halloween, I should just dress up as one of the guards from Squid Game

and go to like a tiger-tiger, because I haven't been... Imagine that twist in Squid Game. Fucking Ed Sheeran's been doing this to us. You shot my friend. You're your nice guys. You sent lasagnas to mums and stuff. What's bonkers about? We made it fair for all of you.

You had the choice and you could have left. The only clue is you're the only guard with an equal sign on your helmet. Even in Squid Game, I'm promoting my album. Yeah, yeah. He's on brand. Ed Sheeran's got a new album. But he's in the mood. Red cover, green cover. There you go.

I just... I feel like I should fist bump you, but I'm not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just deserve it, really. The good thing about Paul Hollywood on Bake Off is he really holds his handshakes back and you've gone in too hard with the fist bumping. Yeah, he holds it. Oh, what? Is he a weak handshake? No, no, no. He's like...

If you get the handshake on Paul Hollywood, it's the best thing. It's the best thing. That would be so funny if Paul Hollywood had a weak handshake and the Hollywood handshake is this big thing. Mate, I'll tell you off. Here we go. I'll tell you off, Mike. But there was a Hollywood actor I met who is the most...

You would think that he had a hard handshake and I met him and it just... It was the most flimsy, flimsy handshake. And I just remember being like, how? How is this possible? And it really made me start questioning. Yeah. I'll tell you off, Mike, but it is quite...

Yeah, it's Dwayne the Mock Johnson. And we all know it's not... We all know it's Dwayne the Mock Johnson. There's no way he's got a weak handshake. I'm actually the movie with him. And I said, yeah, I got a thing being like, do you want to do this cameo? It's in this movie with the rock.

And I said, yes. And I arrived and I was a pickup shot and they'd shot his bits. He'd shot his bits interacting with me elsewhere. And so I was kind of like, oh, I thought I was going to meet the rock today. That's it now, isn't it? Yeah, no one's in the same room for these things. People don't know, but like, you know,

we're not even in the same room with you now. No, we've recorded all our bits beforehand. Yeah. We've got you to do your choices first and then we've put our bits in post. Yeah. Which is... You'd think we'd give ourselves more fist bumps.

The benefit if we're doing that. So sorry, third dessert. Have we gone for profiteroles at Hard Rock Cafe or Apple Tart de Tatana or whatever it's called? Yeah, I'll go for the Apple... Can I just say strudel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apple strudel.

Would you like it at the Hard Rock Cafe? They probably do it well. Yeah, they probably do it well. So, unpopular opinion. Yes. I sometimes would love a cheeseboard as a meal. I don't... Like, at Christmas when I go to a cheese and wine night

and then a meal comes out, I'm like, but I'm already full. Yeah. I've already eaten my body weight in cheese. I do love a good cheeseboard. Me and my friends... It's kind of gone by the wayside now because we have a night called Sendy Wine Club. What?

We have a night called Sendy Wine Club and once a month we'll all meet up. There's like six of us. We'll bring one bottle of wine each and the first one we all brought a cheese but then that's kind of like fallen by the wayside. We'll bring one bottle of wine. We'll order a curry in or a Chinese

and everyone will have one glass of everyone's wine and then we'll... Because we never really see each other anymore because everyone's got jobs and I'm off here and here and there so we get back and it's essentially a grown-up lads night. Although we did have one of mine once where I have a friend called Doug

that has this game called... Well, he has two games. He's got Gin Till You Sleep which basically... He just drinks gin until he falls asleep and there's another one. There's another game called Pisco Till You Naked. So you just drink Pisco till you get naked.

He is always the first one to take his shirt off and then whenever I see Doug with his shirt off I'm like, oh, it's that kind of night. Yeah. Would you ever play Pisco till you're naked and Gin Till You Sleep back to back? Yeah, we've definitely done that. Have you ever drunk Chartreuse?

I have a friend in Sweden that I write songs with and every Wednesday he drinks one shot of Chartreuse and the first time you have it you go, oh, my God, that's the worst thing I've ever tasted in my life and then suddenly you're like, oh, but I'm there. And it really gets you there and it's come to be... Because all my schoolmates have sort of met him along the way. He's come to stay in England and stuff like that.

And now Chartreuse is like... Instead of starting the night with a Jägerbomb or a shot of Tequila, it's a shot of Chartreuse. Try it. The first time you taste it you're like, Ed's wrong. And then five minutes later you'll be like, Ed's right. One last question before I read your menu back to you and I'm not ragging on you here.

Is that a Harry Potter book? It's Hong Kong Disneyland. This is the Great Benito's book. Amazing. He loves Disneyland. He loves Roller Coasters. He's obsessed with it. And this is clearly a book that he's got from Hong Kong, Disneyland.

Do you know 40 million people visit Disneyland or Orlando every year? Most of those are the Great Benito though. Yeah, most of those are him going on his own, like he did when we went to America. What's your favorite Disneyland, Great Benito? Ah, the Japanese do... My security guard would always joke with us when we were in Japan because I'd always say everything is the best in Japan.

I think Asahi beer is the best beer. I think Sushi's obviously best in Japan. The McDonald's at Tokyo Airport was so perfectly made. It looked like a picture. Like everything was spot on in Japan. So I'm not surprised that there Disneyland is proper. Was the McDonald's in the Tokyo Airport where you had your 30th birthday?

Do you know we actually... When I was playing my Ipswich, my final shows of my tour, we were trying to rent out a McDonald's and do a tasting menu there. Oh, wow. And get them to chop up a, like, Big Mac into little, like, bite-sized bite. We never ended up doing it, but we wanted to get, like, a McDonald's on the side of a road

and, like, you know, a service station, rent it out, black out all the windows and do a tasting menu. Because I've never done... Working in that McDonald's been like a bit of a weird day today. But I've never done the whole menu at McDonald's. And you don't want to go in and have a whole burger, so it would be quite cool to go in and have... Also, any fast food restaurant,

like anyone who's like, you know, running a KFC or whatever, listening to this, now knows if they ever want to completely fill their restaurant one day. All they need to do is black out the windows, and everyone will go, Ed Sheeran's in there. Ed Sheeran's out having his birthday. Let's see if we can get in there. So my vibe with food...

I'm not a food snob. Like, I will eat... And, like, I love a fancy restaurant. I love a nice bottle of wine, but I also... I do make it very clear in this interview that you're not a food snob. Hard Rock Cafe, McDonald's, we've been at KFC. But I also love...

Like, there's a restaurant in West called Core that I go to a lot that has three stars that is... Is that why you were the other night? Yes. Yeah. And if I want a really nice evening with someone, I'll take them. But it's so fantastic. But I'll have Nando's for lunch and go to Core.

So I tried to keep it balanced, I guess. But, yeah, I like it. I think it's good, the full gamut, the full range. Got to do it. I was going to ask why it's called Sendy Wine Club and not Bringing Wine Club. So they... My friends are all...

They all ski. So I never skied. And then I married a girl who loves skiing. And so I was 26 when I first learned to ski, which I wouldn't recommend. It's not a fun experience. I'm still at the point where I don't enjoy it, but I have to pretend that I do.

Yeah. But I'm getting that. I can now ski without feeling like my legs are broken. But there's an Instagram, I think, or a Twitter called Jerry of the Day, which is people skiing and then crashing into a snow pile. And they'll say sending. So Sendy has turned into a word

that my friends use for things that are really nice or expensive. So if you have a pair of shoes that cost you a bit, you'd say they're a Sendy pair of shoes, or I've got a full send on that pair of shoes. So they... Because my friend, basically the person that runs Sendy Wine Club is my mate Jack,

who is a wine merchant, and he's got his simulated badges and all that stuff. And we'll say, Jack, can you choose a wine for us? And then he'll choose us each a Sendy bottle that we'll buy, and then we'll turn up and do that. See, starters, I'm glad I asked that question. Yeah. Because that's an interesting answer.

But also, if I hadn't asked that, everyone would have just thought that you guys called it Sendy Wine Club as in, you're saying, like, send a bottle of wine, and yet you bring it together, and that you're saying Sendy. So sometimes, if you have a pint, and you'll say to your mate...

So my friend Fred, obviously, went to university and has all these drinking games. He has... Do you have ever played How's That? Where someone hands you a pint, and if you don't say Not Out, and they say How's That, you have to down it? We had similar things, yeah.

So this actually happened, that we went to Sendy Wine Club last week, and I actually got Fred for the first time, which I've never done, but then you would say Send it. So he would have to send the pint as in down it. So to send sort of... There's lots of words that me and my friends use

that actually mean everything. So when we were on tour, we had a Glaswegian chef who just called everyone Jimmy, because so if he didn't know anyone's name, he would just call him Jimmy. So now my security guard calls people that he doesn't know or like, by the way. So he'll just be like,

who's this fucking Jimmy over here? Actually, we were in Hong Kong, Disneyland, and he met a waiter who was called Jimmy, and he was like, Jimmy! He gets very, very excited about anyone called Jimmy. But yeah, we have lots of... In Hong Kong, Disneyland, didn't Mickey punch you or security guard in the face,

and then you just all left. No, Hong Kong, Disneyland, all of my touring crew stayed there. And I think for the first... We were there for like a week, and I think for the first day, my touring crew were like, oh, this is fun.

Goofy's serving us breakfast. And then by the end of it, when they've all been out like long nights out, of course, sort of going in, and you've got... Oh, man. It's very cheap. Absolutely.

You're the last person you want to see. Live it. Live it, Goofy. If you're a fucking all, leave me alone, Goofy. Absolutely. Don't want Goofy anywhere near me, if I'm hugged over.

Fuck off. I'm going to read your menu back to you, see how you feel about it. Water, you would like. Still water. Pop it on some bread. You want pop it on some mango chutney. Starter, a medium fatty tuna nigiri

from Iraqi. Main course, vodka rigatoni from Bertie Blossoms. Side dish, fat chips. Drink, bottle of burgundy, a bordeaux as well, lined up out with it. Burgundy, then bordeaux.

I'm not going to drink two bottles to myself, but if I'm with someone, I could polish two bottles. Can I have a pint before then, though? One solitary pint of... Before the whole meal. Yes, one solitary pint of lager. A sahi from Japan.

Sahi from Japan. But it has to be... It's fucked. It's got one in the glass. It has to be on... It does. It has to be on tap. It has to be on tap.

Yeah, it has to be. Delicious. With a frosted glass. Okay, I can get you a frosted glass. I built a pub in my garden, and I have a freezer in there that's just full of frosted glasses. And I just think it's important.

I feel like we could quite easily do a two-part and have you back on, because now you've just mentioned that the very last minute, frosted glasses, which we haven't talked about in the podcast much before, and I'm interested in that.

But also, you built a pub in your garden, and we've only just found that out as we've got to wrap it up. So we're going to have to have you back on. It has a tunnel from the house as well. Oh, my God. Which actually is complete. It's actually completely pointless,

because it just... You could just walk to it across the grass, but I went to someone's house, and they had a tunnel, and I was like, the pub needs a tunnel. Like, it needs a tunnel.

That's great. That means you can always escape your house if anyone ever, like, but not only into the pub. Only into the pub. Yeah, and then we have a perfect... On it, there's like a dark room downstairs with a really, really comfy sofa,

and sometimes if, like, I just want to escape an argument, I'll just go down there, just lie and have a nap. Get through the tunnel. And dessert, you would like apple strudel. Would you rather have me or Goofy serve you? Good question.

You were hungover. I think you. I think you. I think you would keep me more on my toes, because you'd say something sarcastic, and I'd have to think of something to reply to it. I think it's always good having a friend like you, because you would never be agreeable about anything.

You would just... You would say, back on! Back on! You would say something, and you'd actually get me to think. It would never just be like, yeah, this is this.

But you don't complain in restaurants, right? I don't complain. No, no, no. I'm too scared to complain. I don't want... Mate, sometimes that usually happens with like... Not so much industry people as artists, but usually managers of artists,

and they'll send stuff back, and I'm like, I know someone's putting that on their balls now. You fucked up. Yeah, yeah. The only time I've ever, and it wasn't even complaining, so I phrased it as like,

sorry, I'm just gonna... I'm just letting you know, it's fine, I'm just letting you know that there was glass in my meal. Also, good luck putting your balls in there. A friend of mine's a comedian, and on the first date with his wife, this is 100% sure I'll tell you

who the comedian is after. So he's on the first date with his wife, and he's being a bit smarmy with the weight, and he's kind of joking and joking and joking. And the weight is obviously not finding it funny, and his wife goes when he leaves, she's like, he's gonna do something to your food,

and he's like, don't be stupid. Anyway, the meal comes, he eats it, and he catches a disease. The next date they had was in the hospital, and he caught a disease that you can only catch from human feces.

So be careful, be careful, always be nice to people. The next date was in the hospital, yeah, no, it was. It was. Don't want to get a second date, hello, remember you told me

he was gonna do something, I think I've eaten his shit. I trust a third date is on the cards, and you'll marry me one day. Do you think we'll kiss at the end of this date? They are married now, though. That's great. Oh, dear.

Anyway. Ed, thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. It has been a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you. And then the mic goes off and you turn back to normal, right?

Yeah, I know. Well, there we are, James. Teddy Sheeran. Teddy Sheeran, I tell you what, Ed. I might have to go to the doctors and have my fist looked at, because it got bumped quite a lot there. It did get bumped quite a lot, yeah.

I mean, a lot of them I would call pity bumps. That is my nickname. Yeah. Here he comes, all pity bumps. Pity bumps in the house. You used to sing that in your Black Eyed Peas tribute band, didn't you? Yeah, yeah.

My lovely pity bump. Check him out. Thank you very much to Ed slash Teddy for coming into the Dream Restaurant. Thank you so much. A lovely menu and lovely to hear about some of his birthday events. What a nice man.

Also, he didn't say candy corns. No, candy corns. So, thank you. We didn't have to kick him out because I would have felt bad because he was a very nice boy. Yes, very nice boy indeed. And his album Equals is coming out.

29th of October on asylum slash Atlantic. So, go and check it out. Go and buy that. My plugs. Yes. My lovely lady plugs. Oh, yes. Yes.

I am on tour with a show called Electric. EdGamble.co.uk for tickets to that. I am going, I say all over the UK, but then people get angry with me. I'm going to some places in the UK. Yes. So, do come and see that show. And also, I've released a live vinyl,

none of which will appear in the show, Electric. It's mainly crowd work. A lot of fun. Recording the Black Heart in Camden. It's called You May Struggle to Hear Me Above the Crunch of My Enemy Skulls. And that's available from EdGambleStore.com. Love it.

I've got nothing to plug. No. JamesACaster.com. You're plugging your website. Yes. And call the sign. I hate myself. 1999 is on there.

You can buy my... Yeah, why aren't you plugging that every week? Yeah, I should be plugging it every week, really. That's on there. It's such a good show. Yeah, yeah. Best show ever. That's on there.

And what else? I do a music podcast called Perfect Sounds. During that interview, when Ed was talking about the concepts for his albums, I was thinking it's like a musical version of JamesACaster. Yeah, with repertoire. Yeah, different colors. Yeah, always different colors.

Yeah, I could have said that, couldn't I? Instead, I had to go and be all weird. Yeah, very weird. Constantly being weird. I think you need to stop now telling guests that you're going to be weird, because then you worry about the expectation that you've put on them that you're going to be weird,

and then you go like full James. Yeah, yeah, I really dialed it up a lot for Ed Sheeran. I mean, basically, I only tell the guests who I think I need to tell them. Like, there were some people... You didn't need to tell them. Most of the time, I don't tell people, but I'd had such a nice normal chat with him

before we started that I just felt like, this is going to be really jarring. And he'll think I'm being rude to... He'll feel like I've tricked him. Yeah. You know, like, I've gone, oh, I've softened him up with a normal chat, and now I'm going to absolutely punk his ass.

Because you went so weird at times, and this is a compliment. Yes. It felt like two friends having a chat, but one of them had to look after their little brother at the same time. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. You know, it was like, our mum had said to me,

James is going to come and sit with you. I've gone, mum, for God's sake. I'm having Teddy over. I want to hang out with Teddy and talk about wine. Yes. And then you've come along like, what? Yeah, absolutely. There were times during that interview

where I just felt like I'd gone mad. I just felt like I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm just firing out anything, left, right and central. Still some very good questions, though. Still some good questions in there. But yeah, that was out of all the episodes we've done, it's the one where I've come away from it, thinking, what did I do?

What was I doing? What was that? Really all over the place. Yeah. So I'm looking forward to hearing that back. I'm looking forward to hearing what you said, because quite often I'd just be suddenly aware that you've been talking for 10 minutes.

Into my microphone, just to myself. Regardless of whatever conversation was happening. Yep, I started doing that quite a few times. So I just talking to the mic really quiet, talking to myself about stuff, looking over at Benito, because he's got headphones on. I knew he could hear it all directly into his ears. So there's that.

I don't know why I was doing any of it. Really gone bonkers. I mean, you know, for the listener, it's like half nine in the morning we started doing this. Yeah. It's not that early, but apparently, for me, I haven't eaten today. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Yeah, this just went mad. Well, thanks for listening. Yes. Goodbye. Goodbye. Ever wondered about the world's greatest mysteries? Who built the pyramids? Where is Bigfoot?

Is time travel possible? Oh, no, Mark. From invisibility to whether aliens are living amongst us. It's Microscope, the improvised comedy show from the award-winning John Kearns and me, Matt Ewing, an all-round nice guy. Where's it available? I'll tell you.

iChemes, Spotify, Acast, and all the other places you get podcasts from. It's Microscope. Hello, it's me, Amy Glentill. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato, and our relationship's never been the same since.

And I am joined by me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case. Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here, sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the news stories

that we've missed out from the North, because, look, we're two Northerners. Sure. But we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News.

We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glentill's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening.

There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.