Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 134: Charlotte Church

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

The Voice of an Angel herself, Charlotte Church, gets back to nature in the dream restaurant this week. And James is there, getting embarrassed. ‘Charlotte Church’s Dream Build’ airs at 9pm on Tuesdays on Really, also available to stream on discovery+ Follow Charlotte Church on Twitter @charlottechurch and Instagram @therealcharlottechurch Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, opening up the shell of the internet, plucking out the pearl of conversation and downing the sweet, salty, creamy oyster of humour. It's the Off Menu podcast. How do you do it, Ed Gamble? You come up with a different thing each time. And that one was a very good one. Thank you very much. Yeah, oysters. Oysters, correct. Imagine if that's not what I was trying to do. Yes, my name is James A. Castor. And Ed and I own a dream restaurant, Ed's the major D. I am a genie waiter. We invite

a guest in every week. And we ask them their favourite ever, starter, main course, dessert, side dish and drink. And this week our guest is Charlotte Church. Charlotte Church. A wonderful singer, of course, a wonderful broadcaster. I'm going to say it, James. Is it another national treasure situation? I feel it's going to be a national treasure here. I'm going to say it's personally for me, national treasure, yeah. Look, we've grown up with Charlotte Church. She's grown up with us. Yeah. You know, she's been through many different forms in her life. And now she's finally here in her ultimate form on the Off Menu podcast. Yeah, this is where everyone comes at the end when they're fully formed and they're

ready to do Off Menu. Yes, exactly. And it's very exciting. But as always, if Charlotte Church has a secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be gross, then we will have to with a heavy heart kick her out of the dream restaurant. And this week, the secret ingredient is rosemary. Now, I didn't pick this. I did. I love rosemary. I've got a plant in my garden. I made it very clear in the Tim Key episode that I do not like rosemary at all. Yes. I don't like it. I especially hate it. If I bite into the rosemary itself, I feel like it's a very unpleasant perfume explosion in my mouth. Well, look, that's a tricky thing because, of course, rosemary is quite a hard leaf. But I think when it's

on things that have been fried or roasted, I actually think rosemary, when it's a bit more brittle and a bit more crispy is slightly more delightful. But the flavour it imparts, James, you're not even a fan of the rosemary flavour. No, I don't really care for it. I could live my whole life. I haven't that flavour again. I don't really care about that flavour. It's too, too perfumey. Too perfumey. Yeah, that's what I've decided. Even on sheepie. Even on sheepie. I don't like it. I don't like it in the sheepie. I don't like it in anything. I mean, definitely, you know, I think when I was a kid, there would be more like raw rosemary involved in some things. And then definitely that would have been what I bit into the one time that

it's left me scarred for life. But it was so unpleasant that I can't get over it. They're even fried or roasted. It's repugnant to me. How do you feel about this, James? Sometimes, I've made something recently, a dessert might be infused with a rosemary flavour. Oh, yeah. Well, I've been I'm choosing something else on the menu. Well, what if you come over to my house, say, and I've made a wonderful citrus polenta cake, which is like you pour a syrup over an orange syrup, which has also been infused with rosemary. There's no actual leaves in it. Look, I'd eat it. Yes. I may even enjoy it. But without the rosemary infusion, it would be better. So I would even enjoy that dish. I might even say, whoa, this is like nine out of 10,

but it would have been 10 out of 10 if the rosemary wasn't involved. Charlie won't eat that either. No. I made it once. We took it over to someone's house for a dinner party. I thought it'd be nice to take a dessert over. And we arrived and they'd also made a dessert. It was a lemon tart and Charlie ate loads of the lemon tart. She didn't eat any of the thing I've made. Well, okay. Well, starters, I'm glad that you're over it now. Also, though, I'd say you got unlucky there because a lemon tart is kind of a bit of a trump card. Well, it is for Charlie, especially. She loves lemon tart. When we first started going out, she kept saying she was going to write a lemon tart blog where she went around and only had

lemon tarts all over the world if she could and write about the best lemon tarts. I think at some point, everyone has had that dream about a certain food. A different food for each person. But everyone has thought, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to choose this drink, this food, and I have all the words I can find and I'm going to write a blog about it. In fact, I would like to know what the listeners' food items would be. If they had to go around the world to try and one food, be it a lemon tart. And writing a blog about it. Yeah. Write a blog about it. What would the food item be? Tweet at off menu official and let us know because I'd be very interested. I think it's a dream everyone's had.

One person out there is thinking, well, it's going to be Rosemary, but I'm not going to write in now. Tell you about my Rosemary blog. Because it will block you. Yes. If any of you say a secret ingredient, you get blocked. Yeah. Rosemary's bloggy. That's what I would call my Rosemary blog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Thank you. Well, also what's really exciting is that Charlotte Church is a new TV series. It's already started. It's on really and it's streaming on Discovery Plus and it's Tuesdays at 9 p.m. and it's called Charlotte Church's Dream Build. Yes. And I'm sure she'll tell us a lot more about that as well as telling us her dream menu. Dream menu in the dream build, maybe. I'm on tour. Don't forget that. I'm on tour. Ed Gamble,

Electric, UK tour, edgamble.co.uk for tickets. Check it out. I'm coming to a theater near you. Now it's time for the off menu menu of Charlotte Church. Welcome, Charlotte, to the dream restaurant. Thank you so much. It's exquisite. Welcome, Charlotte Church to the dream restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. Here we are. So you say it's exquisite, Charlotte. That's always a good word to hear when someone walks into a restaurant. Do you have, in your mind, when you walk into your dream restaurant, have you got, do you know what it looks like? Your child's in the dream restaurant. That's lovely. She is. Sorry. That's nice, Charlotte. A bit of atmosphere. Absolutely.

She's always with me, to be fair. And she also thinks that the decor is exquisite. It's, yeah, I think that it's probably loads of beautiful naturalistic materials like bamboo and big, big walls of stone. And yeah, there's an amazing restaurant in Iceland, in Reykjavik, called Grill Market, which is like, oh, it looks sort of like you're inside a volcano. Wow. Wow. So something like that, you know, something that looks like the Earther's birthday. Yeah. What kind of food does Grill Market do? I'm interested in this place now. They do all sorts of really beautiful, amazing food, but they also do things like minky whale. Minky whale? Minky whale. That sounds like something from In the Night Garden.

Yes, but it isn't, unfortunately. It's actually people eating whales. So, but yeah, it's a really beautiful looking restaurant. I am thinking that this is the sort of setting that I'd like to set our scene. It's very rare, Charlotte, that people come in and say they want their dream restaurant to look like the Earther's birthday. That's not a phrase we've had before on the podcast. Great. I like it. I love it very much. It's a very much a phrase that's, I think, even better in a Welsh accent, the Earther's birthday. I'm glad you like it, darling. Good. Thank you, Charlotte. Are you much of a foodie? Would you call yourself a foodie, or how much do you think about food? I am a lover of food. I'm not sure if I'm a foodie necessarily,

because I'm not like, you know, it doesn't sort of take up my every moment of thinking, which I think for foodies, it's like, you know, it's just all so important and, you know, sensory. And my husband's an amazing cook. I'm really lucky to have that, which means that I don't have to do a lot in order to experience really fabulous food. Very spoiled. What's his signature dish? What's your favourite thing that he cooks? Unless it's a spoiler. Have you got anything on your dream menu that your husband has made? No, no, no. Oh, in that case. Sorry, Johnny. In that case, go ahead. Keith has a really, really beautiful vegetarian roast dinner, where it's like, it's jam-packed full of, like, loads of different vegetables, which are really tasty. So, yeah,

his vegetarian roast dinner is absolutely off the chain. Are you a vegetarian household? We're not a vegetarian household, however, we are trying to be mostly veggie, with very occasional ethically-sourced meat. And whale. No, no whale, no whale for us. He does a beautiful minky whale on a Sunday, doesn't he? Oh, no, no, that would be terrible. The one exception is minky whale. Just all vegetables, very vegetarian, but occasionally, we do have a minky whale. Now, you're no stranger to dreams, because your new series, is it all about dreams? I want to know more. It's not about dreams. I mean, it is in a way, I suppose. It's called Charlotte Church's Dream Build, and essentially, I bought this amazing house

in the heart of Wales, and it's Laura Ashley's old house, actually, the designer, and I'm going to turn it into a healing retreat centre. Oh! Yeah, so, I mean, it's a huge renovation, it's a massive project. She hadn't done it up? Yeah, Laura Ashley. You would have thought Laura Ashley might have done it up a little bit. Yeah. Not a fan of the wallpaper. She lived in an absolute dump, is that what you're saying? No, she did it up beautifully, but the last guy who owned it before me, he half did it, ripped out everything, and just left it a shell, basically. So, and to be honest, that's the only reason I can afford it, because he's left it in such a pickle, which is, you know, good for me. What's a healing retreat centre for those who don't know, which includes me?

What I want it to be, it's going to be called The Dreaming, and it's a place that you can go, which helps you to reconnect with nature, and the earth, with yourself, and with other people. So, I think that in the modern world, we're all a bit fried. Everything is going at such a rate, such a pace, that I think we're frying our nervous systems, and capitalism and consumerism doesn't make us happy. And there's a lot of people out there who are searching for a bit of joy and a bit of meaning. And so, I'm hoping to create somewhere which is just chock-a-block full of magic and nature. That sounds great. Do you think that because of, like, you were like a child star, your life was 100 miles an hour away before all of, like, the internet kicked off and stuff like

that, do you think you've had earlier appreciation for this, and how the need and the importance for decompressing? I don't know, that's a great question. It is, and I'll be honest, Charlotte, I'm very surprised. He doesn't normally ask those sorts of questions. He's really pulled that one out of somewhere. We've done over 130 episodes of this. He's never asked a question that good before. I'm surprised myself. Really, and I'm not sure if I've ever been asked that. So, original as well, very well done. Thank you. I don't know. Since I had kids, I just started becoming a bit obsessed with nature. And also, you know, the impending apocalyptic situation with the climate and such, you know, really sort of focuses the mind as to what's important.

And I think that we need to sort of reshape the narrative around instead of it being like, oh my gosh, this is also terrible. And, you know, what are we going to do? And you're responsible for this. And we need to view it like, you know, the Marvel franchise that we're all superheroes. And what are you going to do? Like, what's your superpower going to be in terms of saving humanity? Because that's the size of the task. So, you know, let's do our best to make it fun. And hopefully it works. And if it doesn't, you know, at least we've had a ball trying to fix the mess that's been made. You know where I went recently? I had a similar experience like getting back to nature and just needing everything to slow down. I went to the 100-acre

wood. Deep in the 100-acre wood, like Winnie the Pooh. Yeah, like the place where A.A. Milne and Christopher Robin genuinely, like, lived near and went and played in. Ashdown Forest, it's called. And it is incredible. I went there two days in a row and it is so amazing. That sounds glorious. Where is it? Near Tumbridge Wells. My girlfriend drove, so I wasn't really paying attention. I was in charge of tunes in the car. You were connected with nature already, weren't you? You were looking at a window connected with nature. And Spotify. And Spotify. And I was maybe playing songs in the car. But then when we got there, it looked pretty amazing. And I really recommend it to anyone who wants to, like,

calm down, clear their head a bit. I went, two days, it was so good. First day, I was like, one day is not enough. I'm going to go back again, because I still haven't seen the Heffa Lump tree. And that's the real thing that's there. Have you ever heard of Shirin-yoku or forest bathing? No. It's an idea that started in Japan where scientists started looking into the actual physical benefits of being in the forest. And not just being in the forest, but sort of engaging all of your senses and staying there for much longer than just a walk, like a quick walk. So, you know, whether you're going for half a day or a whole day, really submerging yourself. And they, I mean, what they found that the benefits that it does for the body is insane.

And also, even for mental health, the colour green, something to do with the colour green, really sort of soothes our minds. So, yeah, I'm just like mother nature is where it's at. And I don't think that, you know, saving the world has to be that difficult. I just think that we have to refocus our attention to nature and all of her absolutely glorious spoils and abundance. And as soon as we start connecting with that, then we're going to want to do all of the good stuff that we need to do. I don't like nature. Oh, here we go. There we go. Sorry about this. Our max. I can cope with nature for an hour, max. I don't want to go to the 100-acre wood, mate. I don't want to go to the 100-acre wood.

Sometimes, like, whenever I end up sleeping somewhere that's quiet out in nature, I can't deal with it because there's no sirens or anything. And that might reduce my blood pressure, but the panic of my blood pressure reducing then ups my heart rate. It grew up in Wimbledon. But Wimbledon's not that noisy. Wimbledon's rowdy. It's not rowdy. Compared to where me and Charlotte grew up, it is a rowdy place. Right, OK, yeah. I grew up in London today. So you're a proper city mouse. I'm a proper city mouse, yes. Whereas James is a country mouse and was also a mouse in the recent Cinderella film. Yes, thank you.

So we're different mice, but that's why we work well together. Do you feel like wonder and awe when you're in the city then? Do you love culture? No, I prefer to just stay on an even keel and feel no wonder or awe whatsoever. Hey, I would say... I like to feel fine all the time. He said it himself short there. He loves culture. I do. He loves restaurants. He loves going to see shows. Yeah. I think, yeah, you do love that. And then maybe out in the countryside, you're like, why isn't anyone bringing me some food?

Because all the animals are just getting on with their own thing and everyone's ignoring me. Yeah. And then it's really quiet at night and you can just hear a bird now and again, whereas I prefer to hear a shooting, you know. Yeah. Oh, Christ. He's a... We've all assumed our roles would appear at the start of this podcast. Oh, it's great. It's marvellous. He's the baddie. It's the baddie.

Oh, not the baddie. On the city mouse. The baddie. Me and Charlotte saving the world. Well, Charlotte is, and I'm listening to her and going, yes, I should do that. And you're a baddie. Okay, fine. You're a baddie city rat. I'll take it. I'm a mouse. The origins of the word culture, though, when you take it far back, it basically is something to do with protector of nature. So even culture, actually, is essentially, if you go far enough back

and deep enough into the human psyche, it's about being a protector of nature. So she will come for you, I have no doubt. Yeah. All right. She will come for you and you will deserve everything you get when that happens. I'm not going to help you. We always start the dream meal with still or sparkling water, Charlotte. What would you prefer? I'm going to have still water because sparkling water is actually

one of the only things in the entire world that makes me gag. Really? It just makes absolutely no sense to me or my taste buds or my stomach. In fact, it's almost invasive. Do you drink fizzy drinks? Yeah. I mean, you said, okay, you reacted to that like it was a stupid question, Charlotte. But yeah, I think it was fair enough to find out

you could cope with fizzy drinks, but not sparkling water. And to some reason, that's invasive and it makes you gag. It's not the bubbles. I think it's the carbonation and the water together is just like, no, no, no. What is this? And it's been since forever, really. Do you think it's the singers' thing as well? Like singers, you wouldn't drink fizzy water.

No. Asking for trouble. Exactly. It's all a bit burpy. So yes, I will have a nice big glass of still water, please. I'm surprised you're not having like some like fresh water from a spring. Like, you know, like, I would think you would want to go down to like a lovely, like a pure natural water source. I didn't know I was allowed to do that.

Can I do that? Someone has done that. Of course he can. I think Ross Kemp did that on the podcast. Ross Kemp? I think he, I think, I might be wrong, but I think Ross Kemp requested. That's the way everyone reacted when I told them we had Ross Kemp on. Yeah, yeah.

We were all, we were surprised. Actually, if I'm allowed to do that, then what I would love to do is go back to the dreaming in, in mid Wales, in the heart of Wales, to the Healing Retreat Centre. And there are two incredible waterfalls. So I am going to stand with a really fancy looking goblet at the bottom of the waterfall. And I am going to take this pristine, cool water right from the waterfall. Thank you very much. And when you're there, are you out of the way of the waterfall and you're holding the

goblet into the waterfall? Or are you just standing under the waterfall with a goblet? And it's all just going all over you. Okay. You clearly have a little fantasy going on there, my darling. This isn't a wet t-shirt competition, I'm standing next to the waterfall. James looks absolutely gutted. Absolutely gutted that you've called him out for that.

Oh, I've never been called a grubby little perv before on the podcast, but I feel like a grubby little perv right now. Sorry about that, Charlotte. I do apologise for James. Don't apologise at all, but no. He'll have an edder rat. I am dry and I am holding my goblet under the waterfall. Yeah, yeah.

Oh my gosh. James, Charlotte just wants to get on with her dream meal. She doesn't need you peeking out of bushes, hoping she's going to get into the waterfall. I swear I'm not peeking out of any bushes. I was just, I just thought of what the logistics of holding the goblet into the waterfall. That's all, but like, it's nice and clear now. Versus getting completely submerged.

Yeah, that's the two options. I thought that was the two options. Pop it up, absorb bread. Pop it up, absorb bread, Charlotte Church. Pop it up, absorb bread. Most certainly I want a really diverse bread basket. To be honest, I'm absolutely obsessed with bread. So what I would really love is, you know, like that,

when you go to posh restaurants, they do like flavoured bread. It might have like, caraway seeds in or like, roasted dill bread or, and also they do like, there's sometimes like, different flavoured butters as well. So I want quite an involved basket of bread, please. That sounds good. That sounds really good. That's not your street, isn't it?

Oh, I love it. Absolutely love it. The selection of bread's fantastic. James, do you want to ask Charlotte if she'll be eating the bread in the waterfall, maybe? Not gonna ask that, actually. I was gonna ask, do you want us to just hand you the bread in the basket or do you want us to tip the bread rolls over you? As you shower amongst the flowery.

On the caraway seeds. So do you have specific breads that are going to go in this basket? Do you have like, your top hit breads, a bread chart? Okay, I would love some sort of focaccia with like, some sundried tomato and olive potentially within the bread. I'd love a bit of sourdough. I'm gonna have something like quite seeded and I'm gonna have it with a butter with like, that black volcanic salt.

What's another fabulous butter that either of you have had? I like whipped butters. Butters that have like, uh... What? Oh, there we go, there we go. Oh, I can't believe it. I'm the... You tried to make me the baddie.

And now you're the perv, but it wasn't even me who called you the perv. Just for you, I'll have the whipped butter, which I will whip myself. Oh, no. And then would you like any spanked butter as well, Charlotte? No, that does sound absolutely delicious. I think that was a good addition of butters, James. Well done. I think so.

I think, well done, James, that was really, really wonderfully suggested. Let's get into your dream meal proper now and start with your starter, of course. Ed's a starter boy. I love starters. I'm a dessert boy. Are you leaning more towards Ed's way of thinking? Is this an exciting course for you? It's very difficult because, I mean, sometimes in restaurants,

I don't even order a main course, I just order starters. Yes, Charlotte. Because they're so tasty. Correct. But I also love a dessert. So I often have both. Great. I mean, happy for mains to be the one that gets up.

Yeah, that's fine. But that's what I like to hear. I don't think I've ever really been brave enough to just go in and just order starters. Also, I'm too greedy. I'd have to get a main as well. Yeah, but I'm going to go for a French onion soup, which is served with croyer cheese and a massive crouton in the middle. Yeah.

And I'm going to have this sort of with a smattering of freshly picked herbs from the garden. I'm really getting into growing vegetables and permaculture. So the idea of, like, going outside and literally harvesting something super fresh and then putting it straight in your meal is very appealing to me. What is permaculture? Permaculture is one of the best ways to grow vegetables, to grow food, basically. It's a whole system which is about being rather than a sort of trying to control nature and growing things in neat little rows, which a lot of the time depletes the soil and

you're growing a lot of things together. So you're sort of really taking into account the interconnected nature of things. So you know that if you've got chickens by fruit trees when the fruit season's over, then they're going to sort of peck the remainder of the fruit and break the pest cycle. But also that if you grow tomatoes and strawberries together because of the color, the strawberries will grow bigger and sweeter to compete with the tomatoes. But there are all sorts of different plants which create different chemicals, which then will aid something else growing.

So you're just sort of growing things in a way that's really great for the entire ecosystem rather than just, like, for human food. So yeah, permaculture's awesome. Wow, that's like me and you, Ed. Is it? Strawberries and tomatoes competing with each other and we both end up big and juicy. Well, we definitely end up bigger, I'll tell you that. Well, we get together.

But what about sweeter? Do you end up sweeter? I think so. Well, it turns out I'm very sweet and James is a bitter old perv. Oh, dear. This is the side of you. I didn't know existed, Charlotte, this interest in growing things and nature and all of that. And this new show, I think it's great. It's wonderful.

Yeah, we haven't had anyone talk about this sort of stuff on the podcast before. It's very exciting. Oh, really? I am happy to be rapping for nature and the earth. I suppose for like, for me, this interest is like, as soon as you do get interested in it, and, you know, whether that's, you know, you love going to the beach, you love climbing mountains, you know, it can be in an extreme sports or two way, or it could be in like a, I just love hanging out in forests or I love animals or whatever.

There's so much variation, like there's endless diversity and complexity within nature that as soon as you actually start looking and your interest is peaked in one area, oh my God, it becomes such a soul nourishing interest and hobby because it's never ending. I absolutely love it. There is something satisfying as well, like you were saying about getting the herbs from your garden and putting them on your food. They do taste better because of that, right? Oh, absolutely.

With that shadow of a doubt, when you grow and harvest your own vegetables, I think, you know, in part because you've been a part of the growing process, you know, you know what the efforts that's been put into making these things grow. But also, so many commercially grown crops and stuff nowadays are like, they've got about 20% of the nutrients that they should do. So even in terms of like, for nutrition, for health, it's really brilliant to grow your own vegetables. Never mind, you know, all of the stuff it does for your mental health.

Now, if I may steer us back to our usual fare. Of course. This big crouton, is this big crouton the size of the whole bowl of soup? And you lift it up like a lid? Ooh. Sounds like it's going to be. Oh, that's nice. I think it's a circle within a circle.

So like, the bowl is one of those like French ones with a lid, absolutely. But I think the crouton is like a little circle within the bowl covered in coyotes. And what's the technique? What's the tactics when you eat it? Are you seeing that crouton and the whole croutons going in straight away? Or are you having a bit of the crouton letting it soak into the soup? Or is it crouton first then soup? Are you going down in layers or are you mixing it all up?

Ah, that's so, that's difficult. I'm just going to eat it bit by bit. I don't want it too soggy, you know? I don't want it too soggy. So it is going to be one of the first things I have, but also I don't, I want to have a little bit of that cheese with every mouthful. So, you know, I don't want to blow my load with eating all of the cheese straight away. No, James, stop it.

I'll take this. Oh, I knew that was going to happen. Even when Charlotte said it, I saw a little grin to her eyes. I'll just teed up for that and get ready for this. Well, what we could do. I have a genuine question now and because you said that, my question that I genuinely want to ask sounds pervy off the back of what you said. Go on.

Charlotte said she likes a bit of cheese with each thing. And I was going to ask if you are someone who you have things like element by element, or if you like, like an ultimate mouthful. So you have all the little elements together. So you get some of the onion soup, some of the cheese, and some of the crouton in each mouthful. That was what I was going to ask. That's fine.

Yeah. Well, I've had to really think about how I worded that. What was, what were you originally going to say? Do you like to have a bit of everything in each mouthful? I didn't want it to be flipped on me. I am an ultimate mouthful sort of woman, James. Yes. Yes. Bit of everything.

A little bit of everything with every bite, absolutely. Yes. Fair enough. Yes. But what we could do, because it's the dream restaurant. Yes. And you obviously don't want to run out of cheese. Yeah.

We could put you a little bowl of cheese or a little bowl of melted cheese on the side so you can keep replenishing. This is hilarious because actually, the way in which I was brought up, right, was in a very nutritionally deficient way. I was raised on like turkey dinosaurs and microchips and spam and my family are obsessed with cheese on a plate. Love it.

So there's nothing else happened apart from it being melted cheese on a plate. That's it. So, I mean, I've never heard of melted cheese on a plate as a side dish. I absolutely love this. How are they melting the cheese separately and then pouring it onto the plate? Or is it on the plate? You stick the whole plate under the grill? The cheese is on the plate and it just goes straight under the grill.

The cheese melts on the plate. That is considered a bit of tea. So the plate must be like boiling hot so you can't touch the plate. You're going to burn yourself. Yeah. So have you all got a fork and you're getting yourself a bit of cheese and eating it? Or what's going on? I can't even picture.

In my head, it's this flat bit of cheese. Yeah. Are you grating it on? I'm imagining the cheese is getting grated onto the plate then grilled. Or is it there's a block of cheese on the plate and then that melts? It's just a block of cheese on the plate. A block. And then it gets melted.

You often will just like put a tea towel into the plate. So it's variable and then crack on with the melted cheese. Just eat that. It's just Welsh fondue, basically, isn't it? Yeah, totally. Cheese on a plate, babes. Working class Welsh fair. Cheddar? Is it cheddar?

Is that what we were talking here? It's probably been a cathedral city. It's nothing partial, you know? Yeah, yeah. Love that. Wow. Right. So would you like, you can have some working class Welsh cheese on a plate, babes, on the side.

Yeah, why not? Let's go onto your main course then. More natural ingredients, more permaculture. And a word that I've learned today. Get involved. Now I'm going for experience. Because as I've said, like I often get a bit bored of main course. Like I love the variation and the tastiness of like the starters and sort of little plates.

So actually for my main, I need a little bit of entertainment. And I don't think anything's as entertaining food wise as a Japanese teppanyaki grill. Yes. Have you been to one of these places? No, I've never been to one of these places. But I've seen it on so many different TV shows and it looks so fun where the chef's doing all tricks and stuff. Benihana.

Exactly, like Benihana. And there aren't many of them in the UK. So basically you all sit round. So there's lots of, it can like seats maybe 15 people, let's say. So you're all sat around this massive hot plate. And there's a chef in front of you who is like making this incredibly tasty Japanese food, but he's doing loads of tricks and chucking eggs about and doing all sorts of fast cutting. And it's just really entertaining.

Sometimes like there's one thing that they do in Benihana at least, which is they make like this onion volcano. Another volcano. And then they pour some liquid or some oil in it and set fire to it. And it's like, wow, it's this big volcano. It's loads of fun. And just to be clear, when you say hot plate, you don't mean the kind of hot plate that you would put cheese on under the grill

and then you'd put it back and it would be on a tea towel. Absolutely not. No, it's not cheese on the plate hot plate, but a big massive stainless steel hot plate. And so the sort of things that you might have at a teppanyaki grill is, you know, if you had different meat to be like teriyaki chicken or sort of different Japanese flavors with a meat. And then your rice, your sort of garlic fried rice or egg fried rice.

And then they do loads of vegetables, but just sort of really tasty fried lush. It's a very clever selection for the often many dream restaurant as well, because you've essentially picked one main course that is loads of different foods. Absolutely. So I can have like a little bit of all sorts of tasty dreamy morsels, but but I'm also being really entertained. I am titillated at the dinner table. Who would you most like to be your chef?

If they if anyone could could cook this, who would entertain you the most while doing the cooking? Oh, that's interesting. I think Stuart Lee would be really fuming to be cooking for me. But that might be really funny. I mean, I think you absolutely picked the best person you could have picked there. Either Stuart Lee or Mariah Carey.

Always. Two sides of the same coin. People are always having to choose between the two of them quite hard. I just think that I think she's be so mad and fun. She's just amazing. So yeah, I mean, if Stuart Lee and Mariah Carey could come and, yeah, you know, do a sort of back to back teppanyaki. I feel like they'd get on really well.

Yeah. Much made in heaven. He's in the pod. I'm not sure. Stuart Lee, necessarily and deliberately so, has the sort of zingy energy needed to be a teppanyaki chef? Yeah. He takes his time over things, doesn't he?

He likes to take his time. He teases things out over a long period of time. You'd basically be looking at a man cook the same piece of steak over and over again to make a point. Yes. He likes repetition. Iteration. Yes.

But mind you, I mean, if you're a chef at a teppanyaki grill for an evening, that's what it is. It's iteration. It's over and over again. So maybe he's perfect. Maybe I'll suggest it to him. But also, he would be so withering towards the idea of being entertained whilst you ate would probably be like he would find infuriating,

which I sort of agree with. The food itself should be entertainment enough, but alas. But also, I think that Mariah would really balance him out. I love Stuart Lee's comedy. I think that it's so purposeful. I think him and Mariah would just be delightful together. Maybe they should tour together. Oh, yeah.

I'd love that. There's no one that wouldn't go. That's something for everyone, right? That's so funny. I'm just trying to imagine the poster. I'm trying to think about how that would actually work. Especially if there's teppanyaki grill involved. Yeah.

That's the holy trinity. First half, you have Stuart Lee doing comedy. Mariah does a few songs. Second half, they're both on stage doing teppanyaki grill. Yeah, yeah. And tricks, and amazing tricks. It's nice to speak to someone who's really using the dream restaurant to the full potential.

So, you know, we're in a restaurant that's been birthed by the earth. You're having water out of a spring, and you're having Japanese grill cooked by Stuart Lee and Mariah Carey. The water's from the waterfall. Yes. And it's very civilized. Yes, just normal. Just the cup straight under, and everyone's normal.

Yes, everyone's normal. Thank you. So normal, so very normal. Don't panic. Everything's fine. It's all right. Let's go on to the dream side, then, because this is like, you've got loads of little bits

for that main course there. I'm going to have some really delicious leaves, just because, I mean, we're going to go with just like a bowl of steamed vegetables, because a lot of the time, we don't eat enough vegetables, you know, and actually just some like al dente, nice, steamed vegetables is absolutely what's required. But one of the best things that you can eat is green leaves, because like the energy that they sort of draw in from the sun,

it's basically just one of the best things that humans can eat is green leaves. But you want chips, right? I mean, that's the other thing I was thinking. Yeah, come on, I'll have some chips. That's so funny. Look, you've sold nature to us already. We love the idea of the Healing Retreat Centre. We've had all of that.

We should get closer to nature, but come on. Chips is nature. But really salty chips as well. Right, yeah, yeah, obviously, yeah. They're like, it's like, as you're eating them, you're just like, this isn't, this is not okay. The amount of salt on these chips, but I'm having such a lovely time.

Salt is part of nature as well. So salt and potatoes, you can't get much more natural, Charlotte. Exactly, quite right, I totally agree. Yeah, so I mean, I have had quite a variation of things at this juncture. This is a crazy meal. Well, the green, I want to know more about these green leaves though. So what leaves, they're not like from trees, right? They're not like from a sycamore tree or anything like that, are they?

What are you talking about? Well, there's loads of different leaves in the world. Well no, some of those would be very poisonous, I imagine. You know, things like all sorts of different, like lettuce leaves. It isn't just iceberg lettuce, you can out, there's so many edible leaves that we can eat, spinach. There's loads. It's sort of the foundation, the basis for all life on earth,

that process of photosynthesis and that the actual matter that green, green leaves are made up of is exceptionally good for human beings. So yeah, it's really great. If you can change one thing about your diet, add loads of green leaves. Are you not eating green leaves on the reg, James? Not on the reg enough, no, definitely not. You know, I make sure I have some veggies and stuff, but green leaves, I find them quite boring.

I think that it's about changing your perspective towards them, because if you actually, next time you look at some spinach, or some lettuce, or whatever that you think, oh gosh, whatever, just think about the process of what that's taken to grow and stuff, and the amount of sunlight it's taken in, and as soon as you start thinking in those terms, then all of a sudden you're just like, oh yes, it feels so like nourishing and vital

that you're just like absolutely put it in my face. As if you think about the process of making chips, it kind of puts you off and I imagine them going into the fryer. Oh, no, thank you actually. Yeah, especially like if it's the good shit that, you know, that oil's been used for months. Like my nana used to do it. She'd leave the chip oil just, I don't know how long.

Get a plate with a bunch of chips, lob it in the oil, bring the plate out deep fried. She might not change the chip oil, but she was washing the cheese plate, right? Yeah, come on. Absolutely washing the cheese plate. She also used to cut the potatoes into chips, and then leave them in water, and all the starch would come out,

but it's something that I never really see people doing that, and then as a kid, I think I was so vegetable deficient that I just used to eat the raw potatoes. The raw chipped potatoes. Do you think that's why now you're so into vegetables is you're just trying to make up for the fact you never had any as a kid? Potentially.

Potentially, I'm making up for lost nutrition. How about for your dream meal as your side, would you have like a bowl of green leaves, a bowl of chips, and just alternate between the two? So I find that would probably balance my guilt out for having all the chips. It would just be all balanced. I feel quite normal by the end.

To be honest, at this juncture, considering that I've had this incredibly rich French onion soup, I've had loads of Japanese foods cooked by Stuart Lee and Mariah Carey. Why not add some salty chips and some green leaves? Yeah. Totally, it makes total sense. Yeah. James, when you asked about the leaves,

you said they're not just leaves off trees. Did you mean that? Were you worried that Charlotte was eating leaves directly off trees? And do you think that when you walk past trees, you could eat the leaves out? And follow-up question, have you been eating any leaves off trees? Okay, I'll answer the last question first.

No. I wasn't worried because I'm so ignorant about the subject that I didn't know if it would be bad for you or not. Charlotte is really interconnected with nature. And I thought, maybe Charlotte has found some leaves off trees that are edible that you're allowed to eat, and is really enjoying them. Yeah.

I mean, I hate to say, it was a genuine question. It wasn't, I genuinely was sitting there thinking, well, I'm not sure here green leaves could mean anything. Let's make sure we were all, yeah, I was thinking about nature so much. That's what my head went to first was leaves off the trees. So I think broadly, don't eat any leaves even off the bush that you're hiding behind.

I'm not going to be hiding in a bush. I'm not a little perv. You just keep telling yourself that, James. Hide it in the waterfall. That's what I'm hiding. Let them come to me. Are you having any dressing on these leaves, or are they just the green leaves in their pure natural state?

I think they're just the green leaves, to be honest. I've already got so many flavours going on. I can't possibly add a dressing. I don't like dressing. I've told you this before. No, you like everything undressed, don't you? Oh, I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

I saw it. As soon as I said it, I realised, oh no. Here we go. Can't believe this has gone this way. Oh, sweetheart. Let's get on to your dream drink. I think I'm going to have a glass of cloudy bay. Sauvignon Blanc.

Is that right? Yeah, it's a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. And I think it was really popular, probably back in the 90s. And I don't drink it very often because it's expensive, but it's lush. I never used to really like white wine, but I've had some New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc before that is just really good. Yeah, wine comes up a lot on the pod for a dream drink, but I think reds are heavily outweighing the whites in the midst.

It was nice to see someone repping the white wines. Yeah, repping the white wine and destroying the stomach lining. Yeah. I had to train myself to drink wine, though. When I started drinking as a teenager, all I could drink was vodka in a mixer, you know? It was like, I didn't really like the taste of alcohol, and particularly wine, like it was just baffling to me

how anybody would drink wine. You're one of our only guests who's been responsible for introducing a new drink to the public consciousness as well, Charlotte. What drink was that? Do you not remember? Cheeky Vimto? The Cheeky Vimto. Oh, was that you? No.

I mean, I know I've heard of a Cheeky Vimto. I didn't know you were the origin of that. Did you invent that? I didn't invent it. I learnt it off a builder. A builder. He was staying at my mum and dad's hotel, and he taught me about the Cheeky Vimto.

I was just enamoured for a good few years with the Cheeky Vimto, mainly because I've got the palate of a four-year-old who doesn't eat very well. Essentially, the Cheeky Vimto was all about if you were hungover and you had to do a second day of drinking at a festival or something like that, then a few Cheeky Vimtoes is just life-changing. Remind me of the ingredients.

So it's ruby port, not tawny port, none of that bullshit. It's ruby port and a WKD blue. And it actually tastes like Vimto, and it's like rocket fuel, but it gets you into like a phase of drunkenness where you're like, yeah, let's go! From being like, oh, I can't do it. I feel a bit sick, and I really want to go home now. I think people graduate from that sort of stuff

from when they're teenagers, right? Because that's a property. I used to drink turbo chandies and things like that. You know, the Smirnoff ice in the lager. And then we go, we convince ourselves we're much more grown up now. And you see people in their 30s drinking Espresso Martinez. And it's just the same thing.

Yeah, absolutely. I totally agree. It's nonsense, really. We all just want to go back to the turbo chandy, cheeky Vimto days. That follow you around for a bit, the cheeky Vimto. Would you turn up at bars sometimes and they'll just make you one without you asking?

No, no. Everybody was like, she's got loads of money. I'm not giving her any free drinks. I didn't used to get drinks bought for me. I mean, I would. I was ridiculous. I used to buy everybody drinks all the time, like whole bars full of people drinks.

But I mean, it was loads of fun. Oh, there was a moment there. You said, I used to buy people drinks all the time, whole bars full of people drinks. And then your eyes just suddenly, you had a far away look in your eyes and you weren't looking at us anymore. And I could tell you were somewhere else.

And then you returned to, yeah, but it was a lot of fun. It was, it was loads of fun. I loved that sort of carefree party, I suppose. And then for me, as I've gotten older, I've got three kids now. And so, you know, your life becomes, you know, just more responsibility laden. And that doesn't mean like I can still party.

And if I, if I choose to go for it, then I can party hard. But it's just so much less now than it used to be, which is great, obviously. But I did, I did absolutely love those days of just like, just dancing with wild abandon whilst having like one shoe on. And somebody, it was just wild chaos and loads of fun. Do you think when, when your kids start turning 18,

will you sit them down and there'll be the ceremonial handing down of the cheeky Vimtai recipe? Yeah. You'll be needing this. I mean, it's sort of, yes, absolutely. I think it's sort of, you know, it's sort of terrifying when you think about it

in terms of your own kids and and all of that, but undoubtedly, they're definitely going to be a chip off the old block. Yeah, these are all phases we have to go through, I think, but you come out the other side and you end up with a lovely glass of cloudy bay. Exactly. And you've got a treatment centre now.

So like, you know, all the people, all the people, do you ever stand there at the doors and you're watching people come in and go, I think I bought this entire room people of drinks one night on the reason they're here. So we arrive at your dream dessert. I'm excited you said you have a sweet tooth as well as like and starters.

So I know I'm in good hands here. I mean, again, I changed this because firstly, I thought I was going to go for a chocolate fondant with a pistachio ice cream because, you know, a well-made fondant. I mean, you really can't beat it. But then again, I went on the experiential side and I thought about,

I've set up a learning community in Cardiff called The Owen Project and they do a lot of outdoor cooking and stuff and we will often roast marshmallows on the fire. And so there's just something so delightful and communal and comforting. I think there's something deeply comforting about roasting marshmallows on a fire

with potentially like some chocolate, some melted chocolate to dip those into with some really well-made hot chocolate. Potentially some other bits and bobs of fruit. Obviously fruit that we've grown ourselves. Berries and, you know, nice things to be grown ourselves that we can also dip in the chocolate. But again, I've gone for something that's less of just sort of solid

what food I would go for and something more that like has a feeling to it that's experiential. So roasted marshmallows around an open fire with hot chocolate, melted chocolate dipping sauce with berries that we've grown ourselves. Yes, 100% behind every single bit of that. I absolutely love it.

I was delighted with everything you were saying. I could have listened to that forever. I love it. I love toasting marshmallows. It was the highlight of every Acaster Family barbecue as we knew that at the end that we're going to get the marshmallows out. We've got the big jumbo-sized marshmallows, obviously.

I mean, put them on a fork each and just roast them over. I really took my time with it. I toast them for a long time. Me too. I even toasted all the way around. Your dad just eating raw marshmallows and putting his head over the fire? Yeah, my dad just putting it over his head like a feed bag

and making the undignified noises as he eats all the marshmallows out the back. But like, you know, I love it when you get that really crisp skin of the marshmallow and you can sometimes just pull it off of the whole marshmallow and underneath it, it's this really almost liquid marshmallow that you've got on its own and really gooey.

And then, oh, yes, I love this. You take that skin off and you can go for it again. But there's also, I think, a sense of achievement that comes with it because if you've taken your time, it's not caught fire. You've not been, you know, impatient enough that you've put it in the open flame. It's beautifully golden.

I mean, it's incomparable. Yeah, it sounds lovely and it sounds like a lovely social interaction and hangout. The only reason why it's not my sort of thing is because my wife went through a phase of doing marshmallows over a candle in our sitting room. Wow. That's great. No, it stinks.

It absolutely stinks. It's horrible doing individual marshmallows over a scented candle. That's very weird. I've definitely done it on the gas hob. But I think that's sort of brilliant. Did it work over a candle? Yeah, you've got to take your time.

So if you're OK with taking your time with it, you've got to really to get every single bit covered. You can do it. I think that's genius. And I wonder if it is a scented candle, then, would it have? Would you infuse the marshmallow a little bit? That's like, that's excellent. She's a wise woman.

She's, no, she's a disgusting animal. A chocolate scented candle, maybe. Yeah. Infuse it with the smell of the candle. Well, you two, feel free to move into my house and you can all do marshmallows over candles and I'll go out to a city restaurant. When you say it was a phase, how long did it last for?

A couple of months. That's great. Yeah. Regularly doing that. Brilliant. I love hot chocolate as well. That's very exciting. I've got a velvetizer at home.

Regularly have hot chocolates. What is that? What's a velvetizer? It's like a pot that you put milk in it and then a hot chocolate sachet, but it's basically just ground up chocolate. And then you put that on an element of some sort, put a lid on it, press the on button,

and then it just basically heats the whole thing and churns it. So that you get a really velvety hot chocolate. It's a smooth pristine. That was the worst thing anyone could have ever bought you. Yeah. To have hot chocolates that regularly. Oh, I think that's amazing.

You've just changed my life, James. That's like, I'm getting a velvetizer. And put booze in there if you like, because I have yourself a boozy hot chocolate. Oh, wow. Wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing. You're welcome.

I love that you've got the chocolate dipping as well with the fruits. I love to put grapes, banana, and strawberries into chocolate. That would be my top three. What sort of chocolate though? Because I'm just a bit of a cabrile girl. It's basic. It's not big.

It's not clever. It's just some cabries, which should probably be their new slogan. Yeah. Well, I think, yeah, brand-wise, I'm not picky. But I reckon melting a mixture of, like, I'd say, 70% of the chocolate you're putting in is milk chocolate. And the other 30% is dark chocolate.

Makes it really nice if it's melted chocolate. So what about this? I like it. Yeah, that's my tip. But you actually can't mess with dairy milk, though. Really, like, it sounds basic, but dairy milk melted or otherwise, it's pretty much up there, isn't it? But I also do, like, the proper dark stuff as well.

Yeah, I really like dark chocolate. Actually, Joe, I like them all. I'm not going to pretend like. But also, like, there's crazy health benefits, isn't it, when you get, like, 70% cacao and up? It's, like, super good for your health. But I think that's always predicated on people say, and if you have, like, an 80% dark chocolate,

you won't want a lot of it. You can just have a couple of squares, and then you can just leave it. Nope, not true. It's the whole bar down, just as bad as milk chocolate. Yeah, just chomp it all down. Yeah. It's chocolate.

Are those the fruits that you're going to have that you're going to dip in the chocolate, by the way? Yeah, absolutely. Why not? Well, don't get me swaying. I'm just saying, I really want to shout out. Also, I have one other question about this dessert, but I'll let you do the fruits first.

I just quickly say, Charlotte did say that she wanted to have fruits that they'd grown themselves, and I'm not sure however good their land is there. I'm not sure they're growing bananas. We could grow bananas. Uh-huh. Yeah, absolutely. Just a few, Ed.

You just need to, yeah, we could grow bananas if we had, like, a polytunnel. Maybe you keep it at a certain temperature. But you can do that. You can grow all sorts of fabulous things. We can definitely grow some lovely wild strawberries. We could probably, if we've got some slightly heated polytunnels, grow some bananas.

We could definitely grow some grapes. I love growing raspberries. Raspberries are super easy to grow, and then if you've planted them in the ground, they spread. They go all over the place, and then you've got an abundance of raspberries, which is always great. Yeah, and I think we'll have some blueberries as well,

because blueberries are so good. So they're all the fruits that would be on offer for dipping. Wonderful. Final question. For toasting the marshmallows, would you like to go back to that volcano with the stream of lava? And toast the marshmallows over the lava?

No, because I've got everything I need right there at the campfire. That's great. One of my favourite things is when James offers up a flight of fancy, and a guest just goes, come on, mate. Not only is there too much sulphur in the air there, I've just left all of my loved ones behind

who are singing songs and storytelling. Well, it's a really long stick, I mean. Yeah, you have to explain to your family that you've got to go to a volcano now, because the waterfall creep wants you to go there. That one, that guy who was encouraging me to get under the waterfall, wasn't going to go near a volcano now, for some reason.

Oh, you're funny, Benny. Thank you. So, this is... I'm going to reach you back to your menu now and see how you feel about it. Water, you wanted a goblet held under a waterfall. Let's say about that the better. Popped on with some bread.

You want a diverse bread basket. Focaccia, sourdough seeded, and butter with black volcanic salt. Also, you agreed to wet butter. Starter, you would like a French onion soup with gruyere and a massive crouton with fresh herbs. And you would like the cheese plate on the side. Mankos, teppanyaki grill, cooked by Stuart Lee and Mariah Carey.

Side dish, green leaves and really salty chips back and forth. Drink a glass of cloudy bay, Sauvignon Blanc and dessert, toasted marshmallows with hot chocolate, melted chocolate dip and homegrown fruit around the campfire with your loved ones. Yeah, I mean, Stuart and Mariah are quite welcome to join us. Yeah. I'm sure they have loads of great stories

and, you know, Mariah will be great for the kumbaya that will inevitably come. Yeah, that'd be good. I'd like to see Mariah Carey sing kumbaya, actually. That'd be great. That'd be lovely. But I'm happy with that. That is actually, even though it's, I mean, it's a real journey, that meal, isn't it?

Yeah, that's what we like, though. You've transported us to so many different places. We're connecting with nature. We've got stuff from your past, stuff from your present. It's lovely. I think it's a beautiful menu. Yeah, characters popping up, little guests. It's a real shame what James did quite early on in the episode. Apart from that, I think...

Yes. I would like to apologise, actually, before you go, Charlotte. I would like to apologise. I'm trying to work on it. I'm a randy little boy, and I sometimes act out on the podcast, or I'm feeling frustrated, and I apologise so much for all the grubby things I said.

I think we pushed them on to you to be fair, sweetly. Yes. Well, you say that. I saw earlier he's got his trunks on under his jeep. I'm not going to put my trunks on! I'm not going to do a waterfall! Charlotte, you've been absolutely brilliant. Thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Oh, it has been absolutely wonderful. Thank you.

Well, there we are. What a wonderful menu. So nice to meet Charlotte Church, what a lot of fun she was, and thank God she's finally exposed your true character, James. I can't believe it. This is the episode that does it, I guess. That's what I've got to be like for more episodes from now on.

I've got to adopt the persona of the grubby perv with anyone that we interview. That was such a fun episode. And she didn't say Rosemary, James. Didn't say Rosemary, so I guess to stay in the Dream Restaurant was good. I was actually a bit worried, because, you know, Rosemary actually is, most people like it.

Yeah. So I was a bit worried that actually, what have I done here? Am I about to have to kick Charlotte Church out? And she did mention getting some fresh herbs from her garden. So we came pretty close there. Yeah, I mean, some people might think, oh, you guys didn't drill down into what the fresh herbs were, but it was going on top of a French onion soup.

You wouldn't put a Rosemary on a French onion soup. Yeah, you couldn't in me. And you wouldn't have, I mean, in green leaves or anything as well. So you wouldn't dip them in chocolate. Chill out. Yeah, and they're not Tabinaki grill. No, they're not Tabinaki grill. Exactly.

Charlotte Church got to stay in the Dream Restaurant, and she got to stay in her Dream Build. Yes, a very exciting TV show. Really, Tuesdays, 9 p.m. Charlotte Church's Dream Build, and you can stream it on Discovery Plus. Yes, you can. Well done, James. Great plug.

Yes. Speaking of plugs, if you are listening to this on a day it came out, tomorrow my tour starts. Ed Gamble, Electric. Ed Gamble.co.uk for tickets. I'm in Leicester tomorrow. Then I go to Birmingham. Then I go to Margate.

Then I go to Bexhill. And then we go everywhere else. He's a funny bunny. I'm a funny bunny. That was my favorite moment of the whole recording, James. Yeah. She said, you two are funny bunnies, and you weren't. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Yeah, I'll be very polite. It was nice of you. Yeah, I've been polite. Anything you want to plug, James? No, well, not really. Not in a minute. No, James doesn't have anything to plug.

Nothing. Thank you very much for listening, and we will see you next week. Bye. Bye. If you enjoyed this podcast, can I interest you in a totally different podcast that's not about food and doesn't have James A. Caster or Ed Gamble, but I would say is quite fun.

No, thank you. Oh, OK, not to worry. If you change your mind at a later date. It's called Nobody Panic. Right. It's hosted by me, Tessa Coates, and my friend, Stevie Martin. Which is weirdly me.

And we tackle all kinds of how-to's from big things to small things. How to stop saying sorry, how to poo, how to break up with someone, how to quit your job, how to relax, how to have a conversation, how to deal with unrequited love. A smorgasbord of things. Absolutely. We have a nice time. People seem to like it.

If you like, you can come and see what all the fuss is about. All that fuss. What's it called? Nobody Panic. You can find it on all of the podcast apps that you would imagine it would be on. Please have a listen. Hello, it's me, Amy Gledhill.

You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato and our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by... Me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case... Get him on, James and Ed,

but we're here sneaking into your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the news stories that we've missed out from the North because, look, we're two Northerners, sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The news stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes.

It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News. We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Gledhill's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy!

Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.