Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 167: Rina Sawayama

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

Will this guest be eating to XS? Hyperpop superstar Rina Sawayama orders her dream meal this week. And James is trying to scare people with olive oil. Rina Sawayama's new album 'Hold the Girl' is out now. Rina is on tour. Head to rina.online for dates and tickets.Rina's hot sauce 'This Hell' is out now. Buy it here.Follow Rina on Twitter @rinasawayama and Instagram @rinasonline Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive. Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations). Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial. And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show. Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the chickpeas of conversation, the olive oil of humor, the lemon of chat, and the tahini. There's more ingredients in hummus than I remember. Quite a lot, isn't there? Yeah. It's not as simple as people think. The tahini of friendship, putting it in the blender of the internet and whizzing it up to produce one wonderful podcast. That is it, Gamble. My name is James Acasa. I didn't know tahini was in hummus. And this is the Off Menu podcast. We own a dream restaurant. We invite a guest

in every week and we ask them their favorite ever. Start a main course, dessert, side dish, and drink. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is Rina Sawiyama. I don't think tahini has to be in hummus. I think it can be. Optional. Rina Sawiyama is a fantastic musician. I'm a big fan. Yes. Very excited for this episode. Very excited. It's not often we get musicians on, James. No. And more fool us. More fool us. Also, I just think sometimes musicians don't want to come on our podcast because we're so cool. You know what I think? Go on. Never mind the buzzcocks as really damaged comedians when it comes to getting musicians to approach them. Yes. Because it used to be back in the day, you

go on buzzcocks and they just take the absolute piss out of you. And now, anytime a musician hears, like, I don't want to go on this thing. It's these comedians. They go, nope, because we know what's going to happen on that shit. And, you know, I'm always aware of it when I interview a musician, talk to a musician on TV or podcast or whatever. I'm aware that they see me as some cocky little shit who's strutting into the room, ready to try and make them look silly. And I wholeheartedly am grateful to any musician who comes anywhere near me. Well, bad luck because I'm going to tear a new one. Oh, no. I'm absolutely going to take her apart, mate. Oh, God. I've got a roaster. Well, look, it was good cop, bad

cop, I guess. Listen, I am going to be nice as Peach Pie. However, if Rena says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be gross usually, then we do have to kick her out of the dream restaurant. That's the format. So sorry, Rena. And today, the secret ingredient is banana yop. Banana yop. Banana yop. No, thank you. Now, this is your suggestion. This is from you, from your heart. Yes. You don't like banana yop? I don't like banana yop. Never really a fan of banana flavoured things, as we've discussed before. I love banana flavoured things. Yes, but yop, especially like that, sort of like milkshake you can buy from a news agent, always hated it. Is yop made of yoghurt? It is, isn't it? Is it?

I think yop is a yoghurt milkshake. Oh, God. So that is why it's a yog shake. It's a yog shake. And, you know, I had some yop, maybe when I was an open spot, open spot comedian, I used to drink yop every now and again. Yeah, of course. Imagine walking around town really early in a town because you had to get the early train ticket because it's cheaper. Big backpack on, strutting around with not a normal size bottle of yop, a 1.5 litre bottle of yop. Yeah. Just swigging it from the bottle. Yeah. Like just walking around town. I was once walking around London, drinking a yop. And this is right in my first year being a company. It's 2008. Yeah. Walking down the street, drinking a yop, and a car of youths

slowed down beside me and one of them lent out and said, drinking yop like a tough guy. And then they drove away. Right. Well, so yop should be your suggestion as well. Yeah, I didn't like it when that happened. And I especially didn't like it because I tried to turn it into material at the time. And everyone thought that I'd like made up a inconsequential, silly, weird thing that had been said to me. So I didn't work it. So I was doubly annoyed because I was an open spot desperate for some material, told them that somebody shouted that at me. And now we're all like, yeah, whatever. But then because of course 2008 was the era of people making up things, anecdotes. Also, I did an Edinburgh

show, Peacock and Gamble Heart Throbs in 2013, where we were sponsored by a butter company and we had to plug the butter throughout the show and Ian had to eat some of the butter. But the conceit was that he left it too late. So it was all melted by the end and he had to drink it. And that was always banana yop. So it's supposed to be it's disgusting. He's drinking all this metal butter. But by the end of it, all I smell for the whole show is just this hot banana yop. And then Ian had to drink it. And quite often he would be sick. Yeah. Okay. So I can see why you don't like banana yop banana yop. Yeah. Well, that is it then. Yeah, banana yop comes up. I don't think I ever want to drink it again after hearing that. No.

Don't mean it will be out. But hopefully that won't happen. I'm not sure it will. Rina's also got her new album out. Hold the girl. Hold the girl. Now you should all buy it, listen to it. She's got a hot sauce. A hot sauce called this hell. That's very exciting. You had some for lunch. So it was delicious. Very, very nice. I mean, and it's going on tour soon. So it's all go. You can listen to the album while swigging the hot sauce of watching her live. Yeah. Bit weird to listen to the album while you're watching her live. Listen to the album, the way to the gig. Listen to this podcast during the gig. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And then that's come. I'm sure she'll be fine with that.

For the completists. Yeah. Yeah. We'll ask her. This is the off menu menu of Rina's Soyama. Welcome, Rina, to the dream restaurant. It's beautiful. The ambience is amazing. Who did the design? Welcome, Rina Soyama, to the dream restaurant. We're spending you for some time. I'm so happy to be here. Who did the design was the question, James? Who did the design on the dream restaurant? Me. Was it? Not Laurence Llewellyn-Barn. It was. It was. I always lie and say it was me, but it was Llewellyn-Barn. Yeah, you picked what you could see right through it. Well, it used to be you, right? You designed it and then he came in with the changing rooms team.

Yeah. I didn't know. Yeah. You lot had arranged for me to go out and like do, I thought I was having a nice day out and then I turned up and everyone was like, what do you think of this? Purple velvet on the floor. Yeah. Yeah. Purple velvet everywhere. It's very comfortable. Is that how you're visualising your dream restaurant? Has it got a lot of purple velvet? No, we're in the dream restaurant right now and I can feel the purple velvet between my toes. But you know that the dream restaurant is all from your, it's all conjured up from your brain. Everyone sees a different restaurant. So it's your dream here. And you're in it. Why are you guys in it? Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that.

Can we stay? Yeah. Yeah. I hope we can. Llewellyn-Barn, man. That was not the name I was thinking of like, you know, like manifesting into the universe this morning, but I don't know, it just came out. So it must have been in my mind. You're at the cutting edge of music and the first person you've come up with is Lawrence Llewellyn-Barn. Yeah. But he's quite, you know, I would say he's the TV equivalent of like, you know, hyperpop and stuff like that. Would you? Llewellyn-Barn. Yeah. That is such an incredible statement. Lawrence Llewellyn-Barn is the TV equivalent of hyperpop. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's everything turned up to the max. That is true. We took it for granted in changing rooms, I feel like. Yeah. Yeah. Surely Timmy Mallet is more turned up to the

max than Llewellyn-Barn. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe like Llewellyn-Barn is more like, more sophisticated. The way Llewellyn-Barn is like Sophie and Timmy Mallet is like 100 gecks. Okay. Just loads of things I haven't heard of. Conversation. Just some of the things that he doesn't know. I know Timmy Mallet. Yeah. Yeah. You know Timmy Mallet? Mallet's Mallet. Lawrence Llewellyn-Barn. Yeah. That's where my brain is now. Would you agree with my, I think I've nailed it there. Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Even Rena doesn't know what to say. Yeah. Yeah. Rena doesn't, absolutely doesn't agree with it. No, it's, it's, I just like, I don't, like I'm so careful about like being cancelled by hyperpop

fans. So I feel like any comparison of Lawrence Llewellyn-Barn to any hyperpop girlies is gonna get cancelled today. That could do it. Yeah, maybe. Is that what it takes in the hyperpop community? Oh yeah. And then you're done. It can be anything. Yeah. And then my entire career's shot. Wow. But at least we're in the dream restaurant. So I'm happy. You think you'd be cancelled proof within your own dream restaurant? I know. No. Well, let's see what happens to me, I guess. Just remember. I think most of them would just be quite pleasantly surprised to hear that I know those people. So I think I'm probably okay. Very cultured. Yeah. Yeah. It's a cultured guy.

I'm a cultured guy. I don't get enough credit for it. So Hold the Girl is your new album out now. What can people expect from excited? Because you've evolved with every album. I think that's fair to say. Yeah. Well, I just, I mean, the first record that came out in 2020 during lockdown, I just did whatever the hell I wanted, basically, like genre wise production and songwriting wise, I just, you know, I didn't have a label at the time. And then I took the record two labels to be like, Hey, do you want this album? So it was kind of like fully fleshed out. So I wanted to continue that spirit with this record. But obviously, like, I'm no longer the person I was back then. For me, as a songwriter, I just want to write bigger pop songs. So it's still got that, like,

heart of exciting production, maximalist sounds, but with pop hooks. Great. And it's a lot of the references like country music, there's some garage, stadium rock, 2000s pop rock, also like Brit Indie, like block party and stuff. So it's like, it's, it's more, it's definitely more rock leaning, but it's still a mishmash. Are you cutting in between the genres on the same song? Because that's what I like about a lot of your stuff is that it kind of goes, you're in one genre, one second, and then bam, there's a burst of another one, and then you're back in the original one again. Or are you blending the genres into a seamless new thing? In my opinion, I think it's a little bit more refined this time, where it is a little bit more of a seamless blend. But I think,

like, songs that hold the girl is just so obvious. Like, you know, the first chorus is very stadium rock. And then like the, the following is like garage. And then the next is like, don't tell me by Madonna, like that kind of pop. So yeah, it's, it's still like, it's still got the essence of experimental production, which is what excites me about the whole process. But what excites me on the songwriting side and the melody and the lyric writing side is writing like the most refined pop song. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I put one of your songs on the friends, there's a friend's birthday that I can't make it at. And they asked me to do some DJing at it, but I can't make it. So I've had to make the playlist remotely and send it to them. I put excess on the playlist. I'm excited to see

how it goes down. Oh my God, I'd be so curious. How in demand you are as a DJ man, you're not even going to be there. You're remotely DJing a party. I'm quite worried about not being there for the DJs, because people can really openly slag it off. Right. This guy, he doesn't know how to do it, put a playlist together. Whereas if I was there, I think there'd probably be a bit more delicate about it, but this could be. But then if they're complaining, you're not there, so you don't know. Yeah. But you'll worry about it. Someone will be thinking about. Be sleepless nights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every single night until it happens. And then I'm seeing the birthday girl the next day, so I can ask her. No, you're not. If she's in tears. No, you're not. I'm not. No, she's going to cancel.

Oh, she should cancel on me. Yeah, that's true. That's how I know. You're going on tour. Yep. Cause your first album came out in 2020 and you had an EP out before that. Yeah. I did, but that was released independently. So my first like studio, like kind of with budget album was 2020. Yeah. But it obviously like fell within peak COVID lockdown. And so back then our expectations were not as high. We were just like, well, you know, like people are going to want new music. So that's just like put it out. And then it kind of, you know, have a life of its own. And it kind of did way better than we expected, but couldn't tour for two years. And the moment that the world opened up, and I could do all

these festivals and these tours, but I could, I still couldn't read. I really haven't performed it more than like 30 times, I want to say the record. And now I've had to move on to the next one and just cut a bunch of the old ones out of the set list because it just won't fit. That must have been so weird, like releasing something in lockdown and seeing it grow with the amount of people listening to it and stuff, but not knowing the fan base was growing in that sense. And then doing the gig, just like landing on your feet and they're all in front of you. Like none of it felt real. None of it felt real because it was all online. And, you know, even though my follower numbers were going up, when you're not actually meeting people

in real life or performing to people and you're not actually seeing the kind of number of people in the venues grow, you don't know. Or like, you know, I never get used to get recognized. And then it was, you know, only after like two and a half years after the record came out that because the world started opening up, that's when I started to get recognized. And it was just, it was so weird because I went from like seeing no one, thinking that nothing was real to then if things were opening up and everything was a bit scary. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think everyone's had a bit of a like shock coming out of lockdowns and having to readjust to, you know, everything being busy and full on. Let alone if before lockdown, you were

anonymous and could just walk around. And now after it all, suddenly people are stopping you in the street. That's a lot to deal with all at once. Yeah. It was very anxiety-inducing. I actually like re-entered therapy for it because I got such serious imposter syndrome and I was just completely, I had such bad anxiety about COVID anyway, because I had to work during COVID. So there were sometimes like, we had to film Jimmy Fallon performance during COVID, but it was this fear of like anyone on set getting COVID because it could get shut down and all this. There's so much COVID related anxiety, but obviously I had to keep working. So then the anxiety definitely still remained as we left COVID. But now, now I feel fine. Yeah.

I did eventually. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Let's say that you were in lockdown and then you came out of lockdown. You had all these extra fans. We did it the other way around. Yeah. Yeah. We went in with loads of fans and just shed them throughout the lockdown. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now no one recognises us. No one recognises us as human beings. Yeah. Yeah. Is this true? No. Oh my God, I was going to say. No, we maintained our exact level. It's grown and grow. Yeah. No. It's grown and can't be modest dead. Yeah. Fucking massive. Strobe your laugh. Oh my God. Absolutely humongous. Strobe your laugh.

Any collapse on the new album? No collapse. Well, there is a collab we want to talk about though. Which one? And that is this hot sauce, This Hell. Yes. This is a collab. Yes. That is the only collab I have. With Luz. Yes. Luz Hot Sauce. I've had Luz Hot Sauce before and I've just tasted this. What do you think? Fantastic. Thank you. Really, really good. My favourite is Luz Yana Hot Sauce. So I really wanted it to be like that spice level, that heat level. But then I was like, yeah, just put some Minasian in there as well and then just call it a day. It tastes really good. I actually don't know what's in it, but it tastes really good. You done hot ones? No. Would you do it? Yes, I would. Where would you?

I think it's a very humbling moment. Oh, that would be like zero, truly. Your one would be the first one. It's very quaffable is what I thought. It's definitely got a spice kick, but I was glugging it. Yeah. Oh, it's meant for glugging. It's really tasty. Yeah, eggs. I'm going to take this bottle home when I have it on eggs in the morning. Yeah, great. Oh my God, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Really good. Have you tried the hot ones thing? Do you have enough hot ones? You've tried the... I've had Dubom. I've tried Dubom a few times. The first time I had it, I was so sparing with it that I thought, this isn't anything. I don't know why people make a big deal of it. And then the next time I had it, I kind of was a bit more liberal. And I had it after a gig I'd done for Benito,

actually. Benito promotes a gig in Hackney. I did that. That gig went to my girlfriend's house nearby. We ordered a pizza. I put loads of Dubom on it and absolutely what had been a triumph an evening very quickly became quite regretful. Oh no. Any hot sauce with a stupid name is going to be bad. Yeah, yeah. Is it even tasty though when it gets that hot? What's the point? No, it tastes very bad. And I think the deliberate figures that it's meant to just be painful. And I've managed to get my nephews so obsessed with Dubom. They've never had it before. They're like both, you know, they're pretty young, but they're so obsessed with Dubom that they threaten each other with it all the time now. So they'll always go, if you don't eat my toys alone,

I'm going to feed you Dubom in your sleep. And it's like that all the time. That's such a peak cultural reference again. Your entire family's so cultured. Your family's so online, man. So online. Yeah. Listen, listen, listen up. If you don't put my Charlie XCX album back in its sleeve, I'm going to put Dubom in your cereal. That's what they say to each other. We always start with still or sparkling water. I'm going to say still, which I know is like boring, but okay, because I'm always like talking, right? I just don't want to be gassy. So like before shows and stuff, I can't have anything gassy because it'll come up in the first song. I'll have to do a really like slick off the mic like hair flick, but it's a

burp. That's what people are doing when they do that. Every time I do a hair flick, it's a burp. That's not something I enjoy doing. It's really stressful because you know that feeling when it's rising in your throat, when it's a bubble, you're like, oh no, and you're singing, you have to keep singing, but then you have like one break in a sentence and then you can just burp and then come back to the show and be a pop star. I love that you've choreographed your burps though. That's great. Oh yeah, but it's on the fly. Yeah, you can't. So that's why I've stopped drinking fizzy stuff before shows. If I was a vocalist to use a lot of, you know, some vocalists now have a lot of effects on their voice and auto tune live. It's got all that sound. If I had a burp

going, I'd be very tempted just to burp it in the mic. In the spirit of experimentation, I think next time you feel a burp coming on stage, you should just let it go. Yes, and also I'll find some sort of auto tune plug-in and like the most extreme distortion and maybe some sort of metal like scream distortion. I'm on board. And then just in the middle of the most beautiful ballad. Crack on it. I think it'd go down well. I think so too. There's got to be a death metal band somewhere where the vocals are just all burps. I always think that about death metal singing. Isn't it the same feeling, the same sensation as burping? It's like a gravelly burp, I guess. You've got to bring it up from somewhere down deep. You've definitely played me some stuff

before that just sounds like someone's burping all the way. I love it. Yeah, you love that kind of stuff. Or someone's doing that, you know, that thing with like Mongolian throat singing. Yeah, but it's for the whole song. It's basically they're doing that. With a bit more like grit. Yeah, a big old burp. Here's a big long burp. It's your favourite genre. My favourite genre, definitely burp metal, burp death, burp core. It would be burp core, wouldn't it? It'd be burp, your belch core, something like that. Yeah, fair. Pop it up to the bed! Oh my god! Pop it up to the bed, Rita, somebody help me. Pop it up to the bed! I knew that was coming, but it's still scary. Okay. You did it well there, man. Thank you.

That was really good. You didn't even take a breath. I'm going to say, okay, yeah, right, bread, but Joe and the juice, sandwich, bread. You can't find it anywhere. It's just on the Joe and the juice sandwich. The bread that they use in the sandwich. Yes. You want that without the sandwich? Maybe like a thin slice of prosciutto. Yeah, yeah. But nothing else. And maybe pesto. Yeah, yeah. That's just a sandwich. So they don't sell the bread separately? No. Have you ever found yourself buying a Joe and the juice sandwich scraping out the filling and just taking the bread home? No, but I feel that 100% the best part about that sandwich is the bread. 100%. Taught me through it. I don't think I've ever had a sandwich from Joe and the juice. I've only had

juice and sometimes Joe. Fair enough. But that's it. Oh, is that supposed to be coffee? Yeah. I assumed it was a guy called Joe. No, it's not a guy called Joe. Oh, I thought it was a guy called Joe too. Joe and the juice. They do coffee there. So it's Joe and the juice. So it's the they do coffee and juice. But the UK hasn't really taken on the term Joe to me. No. No one's going around saying I have a cup of Joe. It's also isn't it a Swedish company? Yeah. It's made up. It's an American company. They're everywhere in Copenhagen. The worst one I've ever had was in Copenhagen. Really? Yeah. I thought that's where it's, isn't that where it's from? Yeah. Here's my order currently. It's a green gains all the time. Have a green gains.

Because you're gaining. Yeah, you're gaining, right? I'm putting on muscle. I'm going to be real muscly. Would be funny. Yeah, it'd be pretty funny if I turned into one of those comics. But you know, all the muscly comedians tend to have some pretty, some views that I mean, some dark stuff. Let's just say the hyperpop community wouldn't enjoy them. I didn't know that was a correlation. Oh, it's all muscly comics. Don't trust them. Get very tasty. But green gains is very delicate balance with it. It's like a veggie kind of smoothie and it has dates in it. But the difference between a good green gains and a bad one is how much they blend the dates in there. Right. Some people just you end up with whole dates to

sit at the bottom of the green gains blocking the straw. I'm all chopped up nice all the way through. So it gets that sweetness because there's a lot of avocado goes, it goes into a green gains. I don't just want it to taste like I'm drinking guacamole. So good point. In Copenhagen, that is the worst green gains I've ever had. Why are you throwing the horns? It's because I'm a Belchcore fan. For the listener, James is making a point by putting devil horns up. I love belchcore. I'm talking about drinking the green gains and then singing my favorite song. But it's the worst. And you know what, it varies everywhere you go. I always order the green

gains. Sometimes it's my favorite drink ever. Sometimes it's the worst thing I've had. I'm always happy to roll the dice, but I was stunned that Copenhagen was the worst one. How British are you in that sense that would you go back and say, sorry, this is not good enough? No, no, I would drink it all because I know that I am. We'll have a green gains. I'm rolling. Also, what I know is that if it's a bad green gains, I'm like, well, that's because all the sugary sugary dates all at the bottom. So to be fair, this is now better for me. So I'm just going to drink, drink it, leave the dates at the bottom. And you ain't leaving the dates at the bottom. I'll leave the dates at the bottom. You're not leaving the dates at the bottom.

I'm not eating dates. No, I'm not just eating the dates at the bottom. No, because they're whole dates at the bottom now. I'm not just chewing on them. That's mad. I'd say I've used Joe and the juice for the toilet almost 90% of the time. Love the toilets. Never really investigated the Joe or the juice. When you order sandwich, just in terms of thickness of sandwich versus price, it's shocking. The ratio is a very, very slim sandwich. Right. Okay. So it's the wrong ratio. The wrong ratio. But I mean, everything's very expensive at Joe and the juice,

but their bread is insane. And please try the sandwich just for the bread. Because I'll be honest with you. Not only have I never had a sandwich from Joe and the juice, I don't think I've ever seen anyone order a sandwich from Joe and the juice. I've never seen it. I've seen it on the video screen because they got a video screen behind the counter to advertise all their products. And they show the sandwiches being made. And it's interesting you say about how thin they are because they show the process aerial shot. So you can't see the dimensions of it. So smart. Now I know why that is. But I've never seen anyone have a sandwich before.

And it's interesting to hear that the bread is so good. It's yeah. Give it a go. Honestly. It depends which branch you go to though, because the one in Copenhagen I saw someone and all the filling was just down at the bottom. What the hell? You just Copenhagen. Joe, the juice makes me absolutely sick. I'm furious about this that they got the sandwiches wrong as well. What sort of bread is it? Is it white bread? It's like a... I don't know anything about Nordic rye bread.

But if I knew something about Nordic rye bread, that is what it would be that. So is it like quite a dark bread? Dark, crispy. Not a crisp bread, but very crispy. Got holes in them. Dimpley Joe and the juice bread. And then it's got... I don't think they use butter. They use pesto. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's good. It's really, really good. I actually had one this morning. Do you want pesto on the bread as well?

I just want... I think I just want the Joe and the juice sandwich. You can have that. Can we do that? Can we do that? Yeah, you can do that. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, yeah. So it's a little nice bread product. And you're having the ham on there as well. I think my favorite one is the one that doesn't have any cheese on it.

It was just the Joe's Club sandwich, which is chicken and avocado. Great. Slaps. Can I have that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think absolutely, yes. This is the first time someone's had a sandwich as a bread course.

Shame, innit? Yeah. That should be a nice loophole that everyone should take advantage of. Yeah, oh, there's all the loopholes coming. Great. Oh, yeah. Your starter, your dream starter. Okay. So before we start the starter, we have to get a pill. Okay.

And crush it. And snort it. Yes. Because I'm very, very lactose intolerant. Okay. And so we have to snort some lactase. Lactose, okay. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we have to do. And snorting is the best way. That's the best way? Yeah. Okay, what are you talking about? You just got to take some lactase. It's the enzyme that breaks the lactose, yeah.

We've got friends who take lactose pills before. We've seen it before. Yeah, yeah. I've not seen them crush it and snort it. Wow, that's taking it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're snorting them. Yep.

Get into your system quicker that way, right? Yeah, because if you can't wait half an hour, you've got to wait half an hour before it kicks in. Yeah. When you were talking about pills and snorting, I was like, oh, gosh, it's just another musician on talking about drugs. Oh, yeah, I'm so crazy. We had Mike Skinner on and he just talked about drugs the whole time.

Well, he talked about it once. Do you have to cut that stuff out? No, no, no. Oh, great. No, we're allowed to. We can talk about whatever we want on here. That's good. This is freedom.

True freedom. It's a free country. I thought, yeah, when you just said, first of all, we need a pill, we need to crush it up and snort it. This is going to be some drugs. We're going to have some drugs chat. I noticed, I know, I felt James trying going to Cool James mode. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I do drugs. That doesn't make a sandwich taste nicer.

Yeah. Yeah. Never done drugs in my life. I don't know. No. But I know enough people who do do drugs that, you know, if I'm ever at a drugs party, I can get by with chat, make small talk about it,

and then make my excuses and run away. What sort of small talk you are? Hey, were you doing some drugs there? Oh, you know, in some countries, that's illegal. I don't care. Do you? I don't care myself. Yeah.

I mean, every single party, if you said that, you'd be kicked out for being a narc. No, no, no way. Checking you for a wire if you came up to me and said, you know, in some countries, that's illegal, but I'm cool with it. And you know who I hate, the popo? Say that to them as well.

You hate the pope? I hate the pope. Actually, anyone who does drugs hates the pope. The Catholic Church. We're talking about the film Spotlight. Yeah, big stuff. Yeah, great. I didn't see a drug connection in that movie, but yes.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's there. Right, I was there. It was on the belly of the movie. Talk about the pope enough. So you're having a lactose pill? You're just having one single lactose pill? No, it's not a lactose intolerant pill.

That would be an awful thing to do. No, you don't want to ingest lactose. It's lactase. It's not, it's just lactase. My one has a little cow on it. Really? Yeah, quite from Amazon. Should have a cow with a line through it, I think.

Should have buy pills from Amazon, but I do. With cows on. Sounds like the sort of thing that would be on the news in the 90s. Don't take this pill with a cow on it. Yeah, also don't snort lactase, obviously. My God, goes without saying, but... It feels a bit dangerous to me to call it lactase. It's too similar to lactose.

Yeah, I know. It's just one letter. You know who will know. But anyway, so it's got a cow on it and it's like, there's different strengths of it. So some are like weaker than others, but I get the really strong share from Amazon. Is it a different animal for different strengths?

Or does the cow get bigger? I think the lactase is a mainly cow problem. Like I don't want to discriminate, but it is mainly a cow problem. So that's why. Half cow bull would be good. Half for the weak one. Cow for the regular bull for the super strong one. I don't know what area you're getting out of a bull.

I know that's what I was going to say. Oh, we know. It's not factually accurate. We're not all going to say it, but everyone knows what the standard joke is. I think that's dairy. I don't know. I Google how much calcium is in cup.

He's refusing. He said no. I just need to take my pill before I have this big old cup of bull cum. Disgusting, Ed. Yes. Stay dirty. Thank you. All right.

Sorry. I was going to then talk about a very upmarket establishment. Yeah. Please, please, please. Sorry for where we took some. I don't know. That was rude. Yeah.

No. So you've snorted it. I snorted it. And now you're ready for your starter. I'm ready for all sorts of... Which I guess has milk in it. Cheese. The cheese in it.

Yeah. It's the cheese souffle from Le Gavrache. Oh, lovely. So upmarket. So upmarket. We've gone so posh so quick. Listen, I don't like paying a lot for my food, but when someone else is paying.

Yes. Love it. Yeah. Absolutely love it. I went to Gavrache with my ex-boyfriend, who's like quite rich. And so I think as a graduation present or something, his family took him to Gavrache,

which is like a three Michelin star, isn't it? Is it? Oh, it's insane. It's a big boy place. Oh, it's like, I mean, but they have this cheese souffle. That's they're famous for this cheese souffle. Yeah.

But because I haven't been in like eight years, I don't know if it's still exist, but I'm pretty sure it's still exist. But it's just this amazing, fluffy, just the most refined cheese souffle you've ever tasted. Because souffle is just a bit like, just a bit airy, isn't it? But this one is.

That's often my issue with souffle, is you're like. You wait 10 minutes and it's just air. Just hot air. A good one though. Dessert souffle has changed my life. Changed your life? Yeah, yeah.

The first time I had a raspberry dessert souffle from Greenways in Edinburgh, I was like, I didn't know this could be that good. And I wouldn't have ordered it. I had it because I was doing a cooking competition. He teaches how to make these raspberry souffles. So I had to eat it for that. Absolutely.

I was like, oh, now every time I see it on the dessert menu, any sort of dessert souffle, I'm getting it because incredible. I don't like dessert souffles really, because I can taste the egg. It's very eggy. Egggy. I don't want eggy taste in my,

whereas savoury souffle. Makes sense. Don't mind a bit of egg and cheese. Lovely. Raspberry and egg. No, thank you. Yeah, I like it. You like raspberry and egg?

Well, I did at the time. Yeah. Raspberry souffle. I mean, sand raspberry souffle to the tune of raspberry puree all the time. Is it not white egg? It's white egg. It's white egg.

What is it called? Egg white. Egg white. It's so close. Not white egg. It's a lactase-lactose problem. Like, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I was getting mixed up. White egg. It is white egg. It's white egg. Yeah. Whipped up. Whipped up white egg in raspberry. Yeah.

So your ex-boyfriend's family took you to this place. Yeah. Do you want to, like, give a shout out to him and say thanks for the free food sucker? Free, amazing. Call them a poor, poor sucker. So thanks for giving me that great food, you sucker. You sucker.

He's, we're still friends, so I don't want that. Fair enough. Fair enough. Sorry. Sorry about that. But that was a very memorable meal. I'm sorry to say that about your friend. Sounds good.

But was there anything in particular? Because, like, if beforehand you were thinking, ah, Sioux phase is just airy and boring, what was it that made this one so good? It's like, as with any kind of establishment that just does something really well, it's really hard to say why it's so good, but it's, like, the best version of that thing

that you've ever eaten in your life, and you know that it's never going to get any better. That's what it felt like. Does that mean you feel sad as well, though? Because if you know that it's the best one, you're just going to have to go back to Lagavros to have that experience again. Yeah.

I haven't been back since, so yeah, maybe it makes me a bit nostalgic. But again, I can't, I mean, I can with the help of some lactase, but I can't, I can't really anymore. Did you go to the toilet to snort the lactase, or did you do it at the table? Oh, I didn't need, I wasn't dependent on lactase at the time.

Oh, really? Yeah. This is a relatively new thing. I was a lactase addict at the time. It was just... This is what made it happen. I just had IBS. So you're flying in there.

Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what, I've had a burp just there for the whole thing. Do a hair fallic. What we were talking about. No, I just burped. Oh, okay, fine. Just did it.

Fair enough. Just didn't want to sit until I knew it was out the system. Yeah. Fair enough. Great song, man. Great song. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Going back an auto-tune that bit, believe me.

I wish you had just crushed up the lactose and did it in front of the family. That would have been fun. That would have been amazing. This is three of those times. I think that's what, I mean, I'm sure that the Gavros would just have been totally fine with that as well.

That would have been fine. That would have been a good wrap. I mean, let's just say, those Michelin Star restaurants probably have people snorting a lot of stuff. On the table. Yeah, a lot of big lawyers go in there ordering the best food.

For lunch. Snorting God knows what. For lunch. Off every available surface. You coming over going, hey, it's pretty cool, man. Hey, hey, you're a lawyer. That's cool.

Doing a bit of nose candy. The old Bolivian marching powder. Yeah, yeah. Well, let it snow. That's what I say. Hey, do you know that's still illegal though? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Illegal sometimes.

Oh, yeah, you're a lawyer. You should know that really, but, you know. You know the law better than me. Anyway, I'm going to have a souffle. Did you tell everyone at the table it was good? Did you turn to the parents and the boyfriend and go, this is great. This is amazing.

This is the best start. It was, I mean, it was in my early 20s and I like genuinely didn't have any money. So this was, it was a taste of not only cheese, but wealth. Not only cheese. Those are the flavor notes. Cheese and wealth.

Cheese and wealth. Yeah. That'd be a good answer. I think that's why it tasted good. Yeah. It tasted of wealthy people. It tasted of wealth for the first time. Yes.

Edge doesn't know because you've had it your whole life, wealth. So you don't know what the difference is. What's the notes? Are you just, I don't know. You've always tasted it. I don't know what the difference are between the different cheese souffles.

I only know the wealth, the taste of wealth. You'll just go to the wash and be like, oh, this is average. Yeah, totally. And flip the table. Yeah. This tastes normal. What's the fuss about?

Just to let our listeners know, I'm not an oligarch. No, no. It's not, it's not real. I'm hiding it for comedy. Yeah. Is that what oligarchs say when they're not impressed with everything? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This tastes normal. This tastes normal to me. I, why can't I find anything special in my life anymore? I can only tell the difference between different green gains. Like, that's, that's all I can do. That's all you need. Yeah, yeah.

Your dream main course, are we getting out the lactase again? No, lactase has taken a break. That's it. Yeah. Would you have to, though, is it, it's not a pillar course, is it, if you take it once?

I think it is a pillar course. Is it? But I don't think there's official guidance on it. No, because you buy it from Amazon. Yeah, exactly. You buy it from Amazon with a cow on it. You have to check the little questions at the bottom of the Amazon page.

Yeah, exactly, yeah. It's not got a name, just a picture of a cow. You buy it on Amazon, I mean. Yeah, I know. The risks are there. No, I feel like it's a, because the way I'm just,

I'm just making sure that, but like the way enzymes work, which is completely factually accurate, is that there's the enzyme, and they need to put the food on top of it. And the enzyme gobbles up the lactase. Gobbles up the lactase. Gobbles up the lactase.

I'm making an enzyme fingers right now. Yeah, yeah. And then. So you need to, you then need to do like an enzyme sandwich, really. It's like, yeah, I feel like it's an enzyme smush. A smash burger. Yeah.

And then it gets carried into your digestive tract. So that lactase is now gone. Right. Do you know what I mean? So then you need another one for the next. You need another like, smush. Bottom, like,

you need another bottom bun. Yeah. For the, for the top. Yeah. Lactase bun. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, it makes more sense than any science.

I know. Yeah. Not like I know anything. So we have Brian Cox on this podcast once, and I basically understood what he said. Oh, he doesn't know anything though. No, yeah, that's true. Yeah.

No, no, no. He's a liar. He makes it all up. I think he used the word smush at some point as well. He said smush a lot. Space, space, smush. Everything smushes together. He couldn't tell us, you know,

what was evil in space and what wasn't. So I think he's a liar. Oh, that's all we want to know. Are enzymes evil? No. No. There you go. See, good to get a straight answer.

Yeah, there we go. Brian Cox just, yeah, I'm dead hard. I'd rather get an unscientific straight answer. Yeah, no. Right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's where we're living in.

You'll sell more records if you say stuff like that. Huh? You'll sell more records if you say stuff like that. Really? But you hate science. Okay. He's a science. He's a guy who would back it up all the way.

Yeah, he'd get a lot of people backing you up on that. Yeah. If you talk about enzymes, do you get further up the charts, do you think? I think if you... I think you basically need to say that you don't believe in experts. And then, because at the moment,

with all this sensible stuff you're saying, you're really cutting off quite a large part of society. That's so true. And you need to... The non-believers. It's all about broadening the audience, right? Yeah. Flattening.

Regardless of the quality of the audience. So yeah, you need to start denying science and then look at some really cool new listeners. Weirdly, I think the unre-searched enzyme chat will get you audiences just across the board. Okay, great. People who like science, they're like, oh, she heard of enzymes?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When people who hate science go, well, that clearly bullshit. So we like her. So everyone will come and buy your records. So I think that alone, that whole breakdown you did, it's going to like... That's like five times as many album sales, like instantly.

Wow, that's amazing. So that's quite good. You know, we're not asking for a percentage, but... No, it's implied. Yeah. We'll chat about it. This dream main course, no lactase happening. No lactase.

There's no dairy in it. Okay, so like I said before, I don't like to pay a lot of money for food because I'm Asian. I'm just saying shit again. In my mind, if you're Asian, like because in Asia, food is cheap, that I don't like paying a lot for what's actually not,

doesn't cost that much. You know what I mean? Like if I'm dining, I get it. But I don't like going to restaurants where I just only just, you know, shouldn't be this expensive. Anyway, there's this place just outside of LA in Pasadena called Mr. Dragon's Noodle House.

And it's literally the best Chinese food I've ever had in my whole life. And it was such a random stop because we were meant to go to a hot pot place nearby, but it was closed. So then we went to this Mr. Dragon's Noodle House, which is just the best name ever. Yeah.

Mr. Dragon's Noodle House. I mean, it sounds like the name of the restaurant in a film. Yes. It sounds like someone's made that up. Oh yeah. Mr. Dragon's Noodle House. I mean, if someone has made it up. Oh, it has.

Mr. Dragon did. Mr. Dragon. Yeah. The Dragon Dynasty did. What are you talking about? Just that made up. Yeah. So sorry.

It was completely empty, this restaurant. And it was just the most, they have these beef rolls where it's like, I think it's like layers of pancake, the very, very thin pancakes and like be like very, very thin beef and egg, I think. And then it's rolled up and it's very, like it's like crisp and the bottom and the top.

Oh, nice. And it's got loads of herbs in it. Oh my God. I've had a couple of like beef rolls before, but this was like the best. And they also do, I think, do they do handful noodles? But it was like, there's like a noodle soup huge. And all the portions because America is fucking huge.

Ridiculous. And they have, I ordered an iced tea and they brought an ice cream tea that I kid you not was like three, four pints per portion. Yeah. What is it called when you like go to Germany and go to like a beer?

Like a stein. Is that a stein? Stein, yeah. What is it? You know, when you, there's like a, it looks like a mug, but big. A massive boot. Yeah, like that.

Put on it. A stein is correct. Yeah, yeah. I felt like, I felt like. I'm not a beer connoisseur. Yeah, yeah. Big cup. Big cup.

I'm not a beer connoisseur even, but I've learnt the terms so I can blend in with them when I turn up a beer festivals. What's that, a stein? You know, that's legal in some countries. Toodle-oo. Yeah, I kid, you know, it has like a cup of sugar in it. Which is again, very American.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just hide a lot of sugar. Just dump a lot of sugar and stuff. You know, it's insane. Thank you. Tastes nice. These beef rolls sound great. It was just emotional and they do these dumplings.

You know, you get a lot of like dim sum that is steamed or pan fried, but this is kind of like both. Oh, wow. And it's got a very crispy bottom, but it's kind of like slightly more doughy at the top. It's just the best. And it's, you crack it open,

it's got so much juice in it. Oh, I love it. Just anything there. So again, I have kind of cheated a bit. So you want all, everything that you had. Everything that I had that day. Mr. Dragon's Noodle Shop or whatever. Yeah, Noodle House.

Yes. This is House. This is House. This is House, not shop. Is it his house or is it his Noodle's house? Does he live somewhere else and his Noodles live in the house? Or is it the Dragon's Noodles?

Or is it the Dragon's Noodles? Well, it's Mr. Dragon, right? Mr. Dragon. It's 100% Mr. Dragon. What do you think his first name is? I don't know why I thought Donnie straight away. Donnie Dragon. Oh, Donnie Dragon.

Mr. Donnie Dragon. Mr. Donnie Dragon. I love the name Don, Donnie. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to make my manager adopt the name Don. That's a real power play to try and get your manager to change his name. Yeah.

His name is Will. Yeah, that's not. It's also not. It's not Don. But his middle name is Donald. And I've been telling him that it's way more showbiz if it's Don Frost. Doesn't that sound like a manager?

Doesn't that sound like a manager? Don Frost, yeah. He doesn't sound like a good manager's name. No, but it sounds like in 25 years, there's going to be a court case with Don Frost. And no one will be surprised. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, well, it's Don Frost. I mean, when you've got a name like Don Frost, it's what the headlines will say. Don Frost has been creeping a lot off the top, I think. Yeah. Don Frost isn't to be trusted. No, the accountant's found something bad in Don Frost. Yeah.

Will Frost. Great. Very trustworthy. Yeah. William Frost, lovely, lovely person. Billy Frost, awesome. Billy Frost, what a nice guy. But I'm trying to get him to migrate over to Don Frost

by firstly doing in his email signature, saying William, and then in inverted commas, the Don. The Don. The Don. The Don. Frost. Yeah, yeah. So.

William the Don Frost sounds like a wrestler. Yeah. He can't. People are going to start thinking you're managed by a wrestler. Yeah, but that's showbiz. That's not showbiz. That's showbiz, baby. I mean, unless the comedy world has completely removed from the rest of showbiz.

Which I think it is. Often is. Whenever we talk to anyone, it's like, oh, we put it pretty easy in the comedy world. Yeah. William the Don Frost. Yeah. He's literally next door. He's probably listening to this.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's, I mean, we're going to have, I guess we'll get sued by him after this. Yeah, I'd imagine so. The Don taking us to court. Yeah, the Don's very litigious, I think. Again, showbiz. Yeah, we're getting taken to court by the Don. Yeah.

Get She-Hulk to defend us. Yeah. Sometimes I can tell when James has been watching something or listening to something because he'll try and get into conversation immediately. That's my favourite lawyer. She's at the front of his brain. That's the best lawyer in town. Because She-Hulk to defend us.

Is it good? It's brilliant. Is it? I love it. I just watch it. She would defend us in court. I think she was a lawyer. She-Hulk?

Yeah. She was a little hulk, a lawyer. No. Her? The original hulk? Yeah. Bruce Banner is a doctor, but in the comic books, She-Hulk is a lawyer. She was a lawyer all the time.

And then she became a hulk and she carried on being a lawyer. What kind of lawyer is She-Hulk? She is in the superhuman law division. Yes. So it's all those kinds of cases. She talks down the camera a lot. I don't know if I've told you this. I've been calling it Flea-Hulk.

That's funny. That is, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Are people doing that? Because I'm not on social media anymore. I don't know. Have people done that, Joe?

No, as far as I'm aware, it's just me. You're going to put that right now. Because we're just going to do that after. If you're not careful, you're not careful. Someone's got an album to promote. I've been calling it Flea-Hulk. That's good. I can connect anything to my album promo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I will connect that to my album promo. Flea-Hulk says by my album. Yeah, exactly. So you want the beef rolls, the dumplings, the noodle soup. Noodle soup. And there was a green bean side dish. Everything was perfect.

Everything was perfect. Like the best version of where I've had it. And it was so cheap. And there was so much to take home. Yeah, I think that's fine as a format. It sounds absolutely delicious. Yeah. Talk to me about a hot pot though.

Yep. Because I'm slightly obsessed with hot pot. Love hot pot. We've recorded some other episodes today. And in the previous one, hot pot came up as well. I really tried to reach out to our guest about hot pot. And she was like, no, I don't like hot pot. Yeah, so Ed's like really wants to bond with someone over hot pot.

I love hot pot. It's so good. Hot pot. Okay. This is what I feel the Asians have that the Westerns don't have. Do you say Westerns? I don't think that's the name. I call myself a Western.

Yeah, a Westerner. A Westerner. Let's go with the Westons. A Westerner. The Westons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just making sure up today. Sorry guys.

The Westes. The Westos. The Westos. You guys don't have an occasion around making the food together. Whereas in Japan, it's normal to make gyoza together. And then you pan fry the gyoza together in a grill at the table. And hot pot is one of those things where it's an occasion and you come together and you make the meal together.

And that's like, it gives you something to do. And in case you don't need to talk about and discuss. Just, it's just great. Same with like any like Korean barbecue place. Like actually having the grill in the middle of the table. And you can like chat as you do it. It's fantastic. Oh yeah.

What's your favorite thing to put in hot pot? I mean, I'm a meaty, I'm a meaty boy. Yep. But actually when we went to Haidilao a couple of months ago, unless the square and the shrimp, like the shrimp balls, like this is shrimp paste, like the little balls of that. Put that in there and just watch that cook away. Absolutely delicious.

The unidentified shrimp balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good into the really spicy tallow broth. That when some drips on the thing and it dries, you see how much fat's in it. Oh, it's just pure fat on top. Pure fat. Yeah.

Asians aren't scared of fat at all. And why would you be? Yeah. I've tried many a time to scare an Asian person with some fat. It never works. Never scared. Yeah, I remember. Yeah.

Yeah. Try all the time. Chased after Mr. Dragon with a pot of peanut butter, didn't you? Hey, Mr. Dragon, good to meet you. How's the fat? He didn't bat an eyelid that guy. He was fine. What, a seat or what?

Do you want some noodles? Yeah. Get down. You're scaring me with that. They kind of had a jar of fat with you. You've got to stop doing that, man. Yeah, yeah, I should stop. But like, you know, one day I'll get someone.

I'll get someone. Just need to tweak the fat. Yeah, yeah. How I'm presenting it, there's something going on and I'll find the right way. Yeah. They're definitely not scared of sesame oil. No.

No. Tell me about it. You're vegetable oil. Tell me about it. I've been down that road. You remember that one time? Yeah, yeah, I've been down that road. Yeah, through a bottle at Phil Wang.

Didn't even duck. Yeah. Take this, Phil Wang. Discourt it. Bam. Drank it. Thanks to the sesame oil. Oh, shit.

Phil, that was quite expensive. So, is your dream side dish part of this? Or have you got a different dream side dish? The side dish was the green beans. How are the green beans prepared? The green beans are definitely wok fried, which I believe is the most superior way of cooking vegetables. But it has to be a proper wok with like a jet engine underneath.

Right. Normal, like you can't do wok meals on an electric stove or an induction, which is not hot enough. Fair enough. You need to put an actual jet engine, bowing, flame underneath. Otherwise, it's not wok. You don't get the wok hei,

which is the smokiness you get from the wok. Oh, like the sort of hazy, proper actual heat. Yeah. So, that remains on the food and it's called wok hei. And that's what gives it that natural smoky flavour. This isn't more made up science, is it? Not that good. Am I falling for it again like the enzymes?

No, I'm joking. It's a real... She's trying to confuse the Westerns. She's got us. Yeah. I can say anything to you guys. That's all I've never heard about that before. That's great.

Yeah. And then I think it had like some minced meat around it. Yeah. But basically like what cooking should be like everything's under a minute. You know, it's just like super quick and it makes sure that like it's very crisp, like it's all very well cooked, but the inside's still crispy, you know, like perfect.

My worst nightmare is overcooked vegetables, like worst nightmare. I think we've all... I really think it's like if you're born prior to 1990, I feel like your entire childhood is just overboiled vegetables. You know the pain of overboiled vegetables here. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, sure.

And then I think nowadays people know how to cook it a bit better and you shouldn't boil broccoli for like 10 minutes. Do you know what I mean? But like before, I think we all grew up with overboiled vegetables. School dinners. Just wet. Yeah. Wet.

Overboiled veg. Still to this day, the most amped up I've ever seen my mother is when she got a steamer and we started having steamed. And we were too young to appreciate that it was a big deal and she would really hype it up to us every minute. Like I steamed these. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's nutritionally superior. What's a pudding mum? Yeah. You know what the question is at the A-Castor table. Unless you're steaming a sticky toffee pudding right now, we don't care what the steamer is. I don't care that you steamed the broccoli. But now do you appreciate?

Yeah, yeah, I get why she was excited about it now. And I apologize to her. I'd like to formally apologize on the podcast to my mother for not being excited. Have you got a steamer? No, no, because I hated having to wash that up. It's a nightmare. As a kid, we were taking it in terms of washing up, drying up.

And every time she's that steamer, I was like, I've got like three stories of plastic here that I'm ready to wash up for you. When you saw her using it on your wash up night, is it annoying on dry up night as well? Yeah, yeah, you still got to do that. I still didn't enjoy drying it. I was like, that's so much more work

than if you just boiled it in a little saucepan. Now I've got to do all these layers of stuff disgusting. I hated it. That's the thing about gadgets, isn't it, though? Convenient until you have to wash it up. And then I have a mini chopper, which is my favorite gadget. Told me through it. Mini chopper.

Mini chopper is like 10 pounds. My one's from Tiffel and it's got a white lid and a green pulley. It's got a string and it's got two blades inside. So it's not electrical that you don't have to plug in. It's like tiny. And then you just like pull loads. Like a motorboat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then and then it chops up everything really fine. And does it do it? Does it look sort of uniform the way it chops it out? Absolutely not. Oh no, it's a disaster. No, it's a disaster, but does it save time? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then you end up making something with like loads of different sized cubes in it and stuff. Yeah, yeah, everything's big. She puts them in there. Well, you've just got to do it so much that it's pulverised, you know, and then it's consistent finally. Yeah, but then it's just a paste, right? Then it's just a paste.

Yeah, it sounds awful, Rina, to be honest. Yeah, yeah, your favourite gadget. It's my favourite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My favourite. It's my favourite. Also, you know, like if you have to wash the lid, which contains the string in it.

Yeah. Think about it. Think about the wet string. Yeah, yeah, forget it. I'm never getting that. No. The thought of washing it up alone would make me never want to buy that. Yeah.

Doesn't go in the dishwasher? No, hell no. No, of course not. You can't put string in the dishwasher, what am I thinking? Oh, no. The amount of times I've tried to wash a load of string. Yeah. Yeah.

Nightmare. Try and wash them a string of vests in the dishwasher. In the dishwasher. Yeah. It's all tangled. Yeah, all tangled up. Got to buy a new string of vests. Yeah, I'd like this to carry on, please.

I've just learnt how to load a dishwasher, though. OK, what are you talking about? No, like properly. I bet no one knows how to actually load. We don't usually ask guests their age, but earlier you said people born before 1990. And I was like, as if. Yeah.

I didn't believe that you were born. I'm born in 1990. You're born dead on. Dead on, 1990. But you only just learnt how to load a dishwasher. Properly. Properly. So you've been doing it wrong your whole life.

Yes. OK. So do you think we're not going to know this? You're not going to know this. Let's hear it. I just know. Let's hear it. Yeah.

The direction of the plates, which like, do you do it against the angle? Do you know what I'm talking about? You know, the little spikes at the bottom. You're meant to do it with the angle of the spikes. Just visualise it. So you've got to flip them round. Got to flip them round.

So they're really tilted. Now, I think we're talking about different dishwashers here, because I've got like a little half-sized one. Yeah. And there's no angle on one line. So they sit quite straight up. OK, OK, OK. For the plate.

And my plates are quite thick, not showing off. So you've got a rim. So they've got big old rims. So I've got to leave a space in between each one. And that's actually perfect for that one. But the others are slanted, and I've been doing it the wrong way, I think, for the little plates and bowls.

Because you're not standing it up in a cupboard. That's not the way it should be really slanted, because that is how the water shoots up and properly cleans it. What are you putting on the top shelf of the dishwasher? Glass and bowls. Glass and bowls. Yeah, glass and little bowls. I never know what to put up there.

Yeah, I'll put in a plate's east facing, bowls south facing. And then I just, like, dump the cutlery in when it's mid-cycle. That's what the manufacturers would want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to do it as you go. Top shelf, mainly just, you know, lemon juices. Yeah. Yeah, just all my lemon juices on the top there.

Things that you're not really meant to put in the dishwasher you should put on top. Yeah, naughty things. Like knives. Yeah. Microplanes. Microplanes. Yeah, yeah.

There's no point in putting a microplane in the dishwasher, is there? It's not doing the job. It's not. Especially if you've taken a microplane to a bit of ginger, you're not getting those hairs out. No, it's true. It comes out looking hairier. Yeah, it's true.

If anything. You're a beard. Yeah. And you pull it out and it's a string best. Yeah. Yeah. It's perfectly woven. Your dream drink.

This is a Japanese drink and it's called a Sudachi Sour. And Sudachi is a type of citrus fruit that is again, I'm making shit up. Native to Japan. Wow. I don't think that's true. No, so this is the... Well...

But you can tell us that and we'll believe it. Yeah, okay, fine. It's Native to Japan. But then you tear them up with... The thing is, is that before you say your lies, you tear it up with, I'm making this up. Yeah.

Which makes it hard to fall with a lie. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I have all of that on this. Yeah, if you like flag it up with, this is bullshit. Yeah. And then you tell the lie.

And then people think it's bullshit. Then people will not believe it, I guess. It's like, I think we find in comedy sometimes is, for a long time, I'd start my jokes by saying, this is really funny. Yeah, yeah. People don't believe it. Yeah, great, okay.

It makes it very difficult. You've got to sneak up on them with it, otherwise. If we say here's the funny bit. Yeah. That's true, okay. So Sudachi is a Japanese citrus that is Native totally to Japan. It doesn't exist anywhere else. Believe it, I believe it.

What's it like? It's a much more bitter version of a lime. Okay. It's kind of close to yuzu, but it's more limey. And then you mix vodka, and then it's just sparkling water. But that is my favorite. There's a lot of different variations of sours.

And there's also one of my other favorites, which is the Japanese plum sour. We've tried a Japanese plum. Like umeboshi. Umeboshi, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very, very sour. But you like squash it at the bottom. And then you just pour vodka and then pour fizzy water.

And I think that that, you know, just the vodka and fizzy water is really taboo. You have to add another like actual fruit in it. And I think that's when it tastes good. See, when I think of sours, I think of whiskey sours or like whatever. And they've always got egg in them to froth them up. Yep.

And I like that. But yeah, again, I guess we're coming back to, is that too eggy for you? You know, is it? Because like you guys don't like eggy. And you're eating egg in your desserts. Raw egg white. Egg in your cocktails.

Doesn't taste as eggy as cooked egg white for me. White egg. Oh, that's so true. White egg, sorry. White egg. White egg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're eating white egg cooked, it tastes eggy.

The raw stuff whips up. No, it's not eggy. So you're both okay with that? Yeah, totally fine. Is there egg white in these drinks you're talking about now? No, it's very refreshing. So it's just a refreshing sour. So refreshing.

Yep. I really don't drink that much. In fact, I had two drinks yesterday. And I have a hangover this morning. Do you? It's very sad. I used to drink like a bottle at pre-drinks at university

and then go out and then drink another bottle of wine. And now I just want glass. What's gone wrong? I think I actually don't possess the enzyme to break down alcohol. Is it time to get on Amazon? Maybe there is something for that. A little pill with a pint on it.

Oh, great. There we go. If there isn't, then I'm making one. Yeah, yeah. For sure. So dangerous. They did. They do have pills that are supposed to prevent hangovers.

Does it work though? No, I'm almost certain they don't work. No. I've always started drinking dub bi-dynamic wines because I've heard... Yeah, that's bullshit. Is it? All my pop girl friends

tell me that it's real. People love saying that. The pop girl friends? No, like the pop girls, who are my friends, they all say bi-dynamic wine. It's amazing. It doesn't give you a hangover. Yeah.

It's because I think people think that because it's often lower alcohol. Oh, is that? Oh, OK. So it's like compared to like... You might get a bottle of red wine that's like 13.5% or something. And then a lot of natural and bi-dynamic wines

are like 10%, 9% some of them. And you feel like I'm having a bottle of wine, but you're not. You're having like a half a bottle of wine. And that's why it doesn't give you as much of a hangover. Yeah, I think so. But also I've managed to get some pretty horrible hangovers on bi-dynamic wines.

Oh, he's up for a challenge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it. Let's take some shots right now. Yeah, yeah. All in the name. I'll disprove it. Let's do the experiment.

Yeah, let's do it. That's what I want. I want to know if that's true or not, honestly, because I mean, I can't drink normal wine anymore. That's devastating. I know. And I... But the thing is I couldn't even tell the difference

between like any of the different... You know when people are like, this is the best wine you've ever had, you know? Or they'll, I don't know, it's like a celebration moment and they're bringing out this incredibly old wine or whatever. Can't taste it. Yeah.

Can't taste different, sorry. And coffee as well for me, I can't. I'm just like Starbucks or the artisan coffee, I can't taste it. So that's interesting that you can taste wealth in food, but not drinks. Oh, yeah. Absolutely not. Yeah.

No wealth there. No. Interesting. So I guess that's a challenge that one day you might have a drink and you can taste the wealth. Yeah. You know what I do?

I take a sip of expensive wine and I go, this is normal to me. Yeah. You just spit it. I spit it. Yeah, across the table. Normal. Yeah.

Who are your best friends in... Who are also musicians? I don't have a lot of like best friends in the industry, but like, I mean, I speak to Charlie, XCX a lot. I referenced her earlier. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Queen of hyperpop.

Yeah. Queen of everything. But she can drink. Tell you what, that playlist I made. What was I got in it? I run you into Charlie, XCX. Which song? Clause.

Love it. Bam, bam. You need the ultimate test is Vroom Vroom by Charlie, XCX. Yeah. That's Charlie and Sophie. Yeah. Was that an EP? What album's that from?

I think it's an EP. But I might be wrong. I might be wrong there and that's it now. All my credentials that I built up on this episode are gone. I think it was an EP, yeah. Feel like a pretty old man right now. I should know. I'm with it again.

Yeah. But you like Belchcore. I like Belchcore, that's true. I like Luz old band. Luz to be in a band. Lou from the Hot Sauce Company was in a band. He's in a band called Pine. He's not in Pine anymore, but they are an excellent metal band.

Oh, cool. Yeah. It was an EP. Yes. It was an EP. Dream dessert. Okay, here again, snorting time. Okay, snort away.

Snort away. Oh, different snorting sound. Different snort. Sorry, that wasn't the right sound. No, that. Teals again? Yeah, that's not. That's awesome.

Want to go to the drug parties? Let me have some of that. The drug parties. Hey, guys, when people, you know, when people snort cocaine, they don't do it like pigs. I want to do a bump of that cocaine. I hate this. That's how I snort the cocaine.

But I waddle away. You trying to like, you trying to fit in, people all crowded around. Hey, guys, what's that? Oh, do you want to snort a line, James? Yeah, cool. Yeah, I've done loads tonight. But yeah, here we go.

What the fuck are you doing? Oh, thanks, guys. Hey, you know, for years, I didn't do cocaine for five years, and then started doing dye cocaine. They taste just like normal cocaine. So the lactase is back out? Lactase is back out, because honestly, desserts without lactose is hell.

Sure. Are we off to Creamy Town? What's going on? Oh, on Creamy Town. Yeah. This is again another unrelatable Japanese food that we're going to introduce. I love Japanese convenience stores.

I don't know if you've been to a convenience store in Japan. Not in Japan. They just have. I mean, I think across Asia, it's just a different. Ben finds certain things quite funny, and he find it funny that when you said I don't need to be in a Japanese convenience store, I was about to say yes,

because I'm a bit up into one in London. And when he said in Japan, I went, not in Japan. Which made me look like it was a stupid thing I was about to. Ah, OK. Oh, yeah. And he likes those moments a lot. He's done so many of these episodes that the things he finds funny and stuff

that even if someone had listened to every single episode off-menu, they wouldn't get the tiny things that Ben notices. He's a weird guy as well. So his favorite thing is me going to go, yep. Oh, no. Oh, no. If I look stupid, he enjoys it.

Oh, OK, fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The 7-Elevens in Japan are insane. But all of them, Lawson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they have like the natural version. So there's like natural Lawson, which is like the more organic one.

Right. It's very direct. Lawson or natural Lawson. And they have a family mart. But just the food is just insane. Anyway, so in natural Lawson, I was staying at this hotel in Akasaka, which is where I wrote one of my songs

on my old album called Akasaka Saad. There was this natural Lawson across the road. And they have this, do you know what mochi is? Yeah. Yeah. Imagine like the mochi skin, but very, very thin. Inside that is a layer of cream. And inside that is a very, very thin, but soft layer of sponge.

And then inside that is more cream. And then in the middle of that, is a strawberry. Oh, wow. Yeah. What? It's fucked. Wow.

How big is this thing? Palm of your hand size. It's like a tennis ball. Yeah. Yeah. But it's got the texture of a cake, but it's got the pull of the mochi. Oh.

I wouldn't know how to go about eating that in a dignified way. If you know, because it has lots of powder. And then like, like... Yeah, yeah. So there's the powder and then the cream. Then the cream. And you've got to get to the strawberry.

Then they've got the sponge. Yeah. And then you've got the cream and then the strawberry in the middle. I'm going to eat that alone in the toilet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it was amazing.

I'll eat that alone in the toilet. Crying. I'll eat that with you in the toilet, Ed, if you have me. Yeah. I never got over... I never had one, but I could, because I couldn't bring myself to get over the weirdness of it,

was the, like a sando with cream and strawberry. Oh, yeah. Fruit sando. And I would love it, but it just feels so strange. I'll do it straight away. I didn't even know it existed until you just said... Yeah.

But yeah, I saw one of them. Oh, they... I want to go to Japan so much. I've never been... Yeah, oh, man. I'm so cheap. I'd pack... I just...

One suitcase, but full of fat. Yeah. And then I'd go to Japan, and then I'd be like... And if you did declare, yeah. Fat party! How do you like this? And then it'll all be...

Yeah. I'll see if I scare them, finally. And they'll arrest you. They wouldn't be scared. Well, we'll see. We'll see how scared they are. Japan's not great from jail. Oh, yeah.

Pretty bad in jail. Still, though, that would really help me put my, you know, my scaring skills to the test. If I can scare prisoners, then I can scare anyone. So, if I go to prison, smuggle some fat in up my ass.

Yeah. And then scare everyone. Yeah. I mean, your fingers are being chopped off straight away. You're getting absolutely yakuza, as soon as you bring in a bottle of olive oil to a Japanese prison. They might be quite novel, you know.

Like, that's a new thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've never heard anyone do that. They might like that. That's a tactic. They might like you. Honestly, though. I like this guy.

Yeah. He's weird. He's weird. What have you got there? What have you got there? You've got the Westie? Honestly, there's gonna be a script writer who's listening to this podcast.

That's just like, whoa, wait a minute. That's a great superhero trick. It's Western. It goes to Japan and tries to scare people with fat. I think so. And he's up in prison, smuggling olive oil up his ass. What's this dessert called? I don't know.

Mochi cake. Mochi cake with a strawberry in the middle. Mochi cake with a strawberry in the middle. It is very... Their desserts in, like, natural lawson and lawson convenience stores are very descriptive, so it probably could be

mochi cake with cake in the middle. Mochi cake with cake in the middle. I think mochi was the last food that I had that genuinely surprised me and I'd never had anything like it before. Texturally. Oh, yeah. There's nothing like it.

It's crazy. It's pounded rice. Yeah, the way they make it as well, like... Insane. The hammer lads just going for it. Yeah. It's great. It's dangerous, though.

Yeah. People die. Yeah, because they have to have the exact right rhythm, right? Oh, not that. I mean, people die eating it. Oh, really? Yeah, because if you're, like, a kid or an old person and you eat, like, a bit...

Because the mochi that we have in Japan is like a square of mochi. Yeah. And you put it in the... They call it an oven toaster, which is basically a grill. And then you wait till it kind of, like, explodes and that's when it's, like, when it gets hot,

then it's fully soft and chewy. Right. But you have to be careful. You have to chew it little by little because otherwise it can get blocked in your throat. So some people just choke to death on that. People choke to death. Every year there's casualties.

It's around... Because it's a delicacy that you eat in, like, the New Year's Day, like, celebrations. So people die. Suppose some people on New Year's Day. Yeah, I know. That's how good it is that people are, like,

I'm still going to eat it. Yeah. So they'll think, won't they, like, I hear that certain amount of people die from this every year, but it can't be me. They're likely to do that. But I guess while it's happening,

they must be thinking in their head, it's me this year. I can't believe it's me this year. I was so arrogant. Said it wasn't going to be me. It's me this year. It's a little tiny white square. I'm watching.

I'm watching. That was fantastic. I'm going to read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it. Hang on. Still water. Yeah. Pop it on the bread.

You want Joe and the Juice, Joe's Club. Yes. Your starter, first of all, you want to snore a lactose tablet. Lactase. Lactase tablet. You've got to get this right, man. Every time.

I've got to stop. I mean, if I'm going to blend in at these drugs parties, I've got to learn my terminology. You start at a cheese souffle from Le Gavrache. Am I saying that right? Le Gavrache. Main course. You want to go to Mr. Dragon's Noodle House

and have beef rolls, dumplings, noodle soup, and side dish also from Mr. Dragon's Noodle House at the Wat Fried Green Beans. Drink a Sudachi sour. Yes. Dessert. This mochi cake with strawberry in the middle from Natural Lawson.

Yes. How do you feel about that here in the back? It sounds pretty good to me. Yeah. It tastes, yeah. Sounds really good. Sounds bloaty. Sure.

But that's the best kind of meals. You're having a thin sandwich to start. I'm having a sandwich to start. It's not real. It's not real. Do you want to have more free meal? Do you want to crush up a renny and snort that at the end? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I think at the end we're just going to have to bring you a massive mirror with all sorts of digestive pills just all crushed up into lines. You can go for it. And then just like some Pepto-Bismol, just bits of liquid, so you just got to take it. That's not going to be dignified.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can snort everything on that mirror. And then when the mirror's clear, you'll just see reflection of me standing behind you with a jar of fat. That's the only way you're going to do it. I think that scares people.

Yeah. But that's not the fat. Actually, it's very scary. That is you who's scaring them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's something that's someone behind them. Yeah, yeah. So I won't count that as a win.

Where'd the go, though? Yeah. We'll have to try. Let's end this episode now. With a disclaimer, please do not snort any of digestive pills. Don't order pills off Amazon. Don't snort. No, actually, don't.

Sorry, I don't want to endorse anything. Reena, thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much for having me. Reena. There we are. Lovely chat with Reena. Brilliant, brilliant menu.

Yes. Lovely chat. And no mention of banana yop. No mention of banana yop. But I think I seem to remember I said I put a string vest in a dishwasher. You did say that. You were high as a kite at the time.

I guess you wouldn't remember. You crushed up a load of lactase tablets and snorted them up your butt. So you won't remember that you spoke about that. But you did say you put a string vest in a dishwasher. I don't make one out of ginger string. And you would make one out of the ginger string as well. So yeah, you were kind of a...

You were really buzzing, man. You were really awesome. I'm a crazy guy, man. I'm a crazy guy. Also, that's another good reason why banana yop wasn't in there because that would have required a lot of lactase pills. Oh, my God, that's a whole packet. You'd have to get one of those subscriptions from Amazon for that.

Yeah, you'd have to get a full year's worth subscription and do them all at once. You'd have to take a pill so big it would have a full-sized cow printed on it. That's a scale. Yeah, a scale cow. Not a scaly cow. Not a scaly cow.

That's a fish. I feel like what a scaly cow would be, really. A manatee. Yeah, manatee. But they got the scales. No. Don't forget that Reena's new album is out now. Hold the girl.

Hold the girl. And her hot sauce. This hell. And she's on tour. So many things going on. Absolutely no excuse for you not to have more Reena Sawiyama in your life. Yes, go get it. I'm on tour as well.

Go and see me on tour. Ed Gamble, Electric. EdGamble.co.uk for tickets. I've got a book out. James A. Casas Guide to Quit in Social Media. Be in the best you can be and save in yourself from loneliness. Volume one. I've not read it yet, but it's on.

I put it at the front of my shelf. It's like a lovely ornament. Yeah, yeah. Look, and people don't have to read it. That's for people who bring out books. Don't tell you. I'm happy for you to use it as an ornament. I get paid the same either way.

Yes. Audio book out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I listen to that. Yeah, let's listen to it. Yeah. I mean, you hear my voice a bit too much. I wouldn't really expect you guys to go anywhere near the book or the audio book,

actually, the two of you. That's a shame. You need a break. If I wrote a book and neither of you read it or listened to it, I'd be gutted. Yeah, well, I'd read yours. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, I'd read it in Bonito's voice. So I feel like I've got both of you around.

My name's Ed Campbell, and I was born in Wilburton. I got diabetes, but it's OK. I used to be fat, but now I'm a bit less fat. I do a podcast with my best friend James. He's cooler than me. Slam both of you at once. Yeah. Oh, well, it's boiling in here.

Yeah, I hate it. It's boiling hot. We've got another record to do today. And that guest is going to go away with an opinion that I stink. Oh my god, what am I fuckingp'ing voice? Oh, better, better get it. Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening.

Bye. Buh-bye-bye. I'm the great Bonito. Thanks for listening to the Especially resembling Don't go hungry! A-ba-bar-bar-bar-bar. B-b-b-b-b-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar I'm the rollercoaster.

Farнения. Farclamation If you don't call. Farизнес Hey. a clip from Dooker with a poor voice Hello, it's me, Amy Glendale. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato and our relationship

has never been the same since. And I am joined by... Me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case. Get him on James and Ed, but we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the news stories that we've missed out from the North, because look, we're two Northerners, sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The news stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off, and that's a new podcast called Northern News we'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glendale's mum on every episode.

That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.