Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 172: Stanley Tucci

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

In the final episode of series 8, bonafide foodie and global treasure Stanley Tucci joins us in the Dream Restaurant. But will he raise a toast? Stanley Tucci’s book ‘Taste: My Life in Food’ is available now in paperback. Buy it here. ‘Inside Man’ is available on BBC iPlayer. Follow Stanley on Instagram @StanleyTucci Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking a big, thick slice of chat, toasting that up in the fire of humour, pouring over the beans of good times and tucking in just beans on toast, podcasts of beans on toast. That is the voice of Ed Gamble there. My name is James A. Gaston. We own a dream restaurant, and we invite a guest in every single week. And we ask him their favourite ever start and make cause dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is Stanley Tucci. I mean, what is there left

to say about Stanley Tucci? A wonderful actor, a wonderful food broadcaster. He's found a real niche in food as of late, James. I think we're talking about global treasure here. Glob treasure. Glob treasure, territory here. What an honour. Very exciting. I mean, everyone's talking about Stanley's food shows these days. Yes. Really captured everyone's imagination and reinvigorated people's enthusiasm for food. And that's the sort of person we like to come on the show, James. Yes, we have your comedians who come on here and they're a bit silly and they have a laugh. But what we also really enjoy is people who are genuinely enthusiastic about food. Yes. If you haven't seen Inside Man, it is available on iPlayer

now, by the way. Highly recommend watching it. Stanley's amazing series. And also the paperback of his book, Taste My Life in Food, is out now. Now, Ed, I'm very excited that we've got Stanley Tucci on. But as always, if he says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be gross or unacceptable, then we will kick him out of the dream restaurant. We will. And this week, the secret ingredient is dragon soup. Now, this has been suggested by a listener. Apparently it's an energy drink. Yes, now. It's quite sort of alcoholic, 7.5% very high in caffeine. Yeah. I'll put it as a secret ingredient, but I think it sounds horrible. Yeah. But I'd absolutely smash a dragon soup. Sounds like you would smash

a dragon soup. It does sound horrible. Morgana requested it. Dan Morgan, I think is the name of the person who suggested it. Morgana Robinson. Apologies, I thought it was Morgana. No. No, it was Dan. It was Dan Morgan. I would. I mean, a certain point of an evening. Not me. Okay. I was at a wedding this weekend. I think come 11 o'clock in a wedding, I'd neck a dragon soup or an espresso martini is a posh dragon soup, right? Is it? I have my first ever espresso martini recently. Well, that's bad news. I'd never had one before. Luckily, the person who made it for me gave it to me and went, Oh, I forgot the sugar syrup. It's like some sugary ingredients meant to go in there. I went, Oh, I forgot that. So I had it and it

was nice. Yeah. But I didn't go completely loopy and go, this is all I'm going to drink from now on. So I think I had a narrow escape. I'll make you an espresso martini one. Next time you come over. I don't know. You've got to come over, man. Yeah, I should come over. But you know, I think by the sound of it, because you're going to be high on dragon soup when I get over there. I'll be smashing on a dragon soup, baby. Drinking all the dragon soups, Morgana furious with you. I would be surprised if Stanley Tucci picks a dragon soup. Yeah, I would be surprised. If he does. I mean, that's, that's going to be, that's moment of the year at the British podcast award. Yeah. Very exciting episode. Looking

forward to chatting to Stanley. You know what? And I've got a lot of people in my family, a big fans of Stanley. They're going to be very jealous that I'm doing this and I might buy all my family taste my life in food for Christmas this year. Is it fair to say that your, your fam are fans of Stan, Stan fan. You've got Stan fans in your fam. Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan. Yes. I've got Stan Stan's in my fam. In your fam fams. Look, we've all got Stan Stan's in our fam fams. Yep. It's worth it. It's worth it to hear Ed, Ed sort it out. Ed sort it out for me. It's the last episode of the series, James. Last episode of series eight. What a series

it's been. What a series it's been. Twists and turns. So many wonderful guests. Thank you to all the guests who have come on the podcast this series. Thank you to everyone who's been listening to this series as well. Never thought we'd do eight series. No. Yeah, I did. Also, of course, big, big thanks to everyone at Plosive. Yeah. The great Benito, Naomi, Alice and Toast. Yes. The full team. The dream team. One of them just runs around the office all day, distracting everyone and wiggling their bum around. But then, when he hits record, he really comes down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're coming a mile off the post. I'm still funny. Still funny. Yeah, it was a mile off. It was a mile off. It was

a mile off, but what a wonderful mile. I enjoyed that mile. Worth it. This is the off-menu menu of Stanley Toochie. Welcome, Stanley, to the dream restaurant. Thank you. Welcome, Stanley Toochie, to the dream restaurant. We're expecting you for some time. Here we are. The genie's here, ready to take your order, Stanley. Okay. You're very impressed by the genie. You seem completely unfazed by the presence of a genie. No, it's just because I have a little cold, that's all. Oh, really? Yeah, it's all right. You've seen magical things in films. The genie's not going to, you know, a genie on a podcast isn't going to, you've been the emcee, you.

Yeah, there's nothing really visual here. Just sound. Just sound. That's how we would describe some people who don't know what podcasts are. That's what I say to them. Just sound. Just sound. Yeah. No visuals. I also love the idea of you seeing a genie in real life and the genie going, are you okay? You don't seem, sorry, I have a little cold. I'm under the weather. Yeah. Sorry. Get back in the bottle. Has there been a film that you've done where, you know, you do some, you know, CGI, so you do acting with a tennis ball or whatever, and then you see it on the screen. What's the most amazing when we're gone? Whoa, that looks like. I think those Transformers movies are, you know, they're incredible.

You don't know what you're doing. Yeah. You know, you have no idea what's happening. It's all happening so fast. And they're think guys with tennis balls, you know, on, you know, big sticks, and you go, look over there, look over there, look over there, be afraid, be afraid, be angry, be angry, be sad, be sad, run, run, run. I never quite know what I'm doing, but you know, I just do what they say. Has there ever been one where you've watched it back and gone, oh no. What did they put there? I can't believe they made me run away from that thing. It looks. No, they're all pretty. No, they were all pretty impressive, I have to say. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, because

somebody like Michael Bay, he has those images in his mind. He's been making those movies forever. They are pretty impressive when you just think about it. And a lot of people, he does it so quickly. A lot of people, it'll be quite a laborious process, you know, but he's like, oh, I can just do it like this. Put it in there. Do that. Do that. Don't worry about it. I'll put it in later. Everything is, I'll put it in later. The whole thing. Yeah. Put us in later. You know, that'll happen someday. Yeah. The whole filmmaking process is just three tennis balls all pointed to each other. Eventually, that's what it will be. The only guys working are going to be the tennis ball guys. Yeah. The ones holding

the stick. Yeah. That's what Roger Federer is going to do now. What's the ABBA thing that they. Yeah, they've got holograms. They've got holograms in the venue in Stratford. Yeah. So they just, God knows how much money they're all making every night and they're not even there. I want that job. Yeah. Yeah. But they had to build the venue especially for it. Yeah. Really? As well. Yeah. Yes. I was meant to go to that. I had tickets to go, but it was the day of the Queen's funeral. So. So you had to go to that instead? Yeah. Not a lot of people know this, but that was a hologram too. Yeah. Her entire career. Yeah. Her whole career. She was never. She's had a hologram. She's been

dead for years, hasn't she? Yeah. It's been a long time. It's all been a hologram. A very long time. We've been duped by a hologram. Normally at the start of the podcast, we'd ask if someone is a foodie or not, but we already know that with you, that you're a big time foodie. Yeah. When did that start? Your love affair with food? I think from birth, you know, my family, both sides, very, just in love with food. And the way food was treated in our house was, you know, it was a very precious thing. And that's something that is part of the Italian culture and heritage. My mom was an amazing cook. She's still alive at 86. My dad is 92. He don't get to live that long without a really good diet. And just great food. So it was, it always meant a great deal to me.

But as I got older, I realized that it was kind of everything for me. And it always found its way, says somehow into my life and then eventually into my work. And like, how long were you thinking about, like, when you're, you know, acting for years? Was there always a part of you thinking, I want to do like a food show? I want to do like, you know, something that maybe people wouldn't expect from me the way I do, like a food travel show? Well, yeah. I mean, I had the idea that, you know, the CNN series that we're doing, right? Searching for Italy. And I had the idea about 15 years ago or so. But I had already sort of entered into the food world, having made this movie Big Night, which was 27 years ago. It sort of ushered me into the,

into the food world. And I got to know chefs and I would, you know, go on cooking shows or whatever. And I loved that. And I thought, well, I really, really want to do something that nobody has done before with Italy, not just be in a studio and cook recipes from different regions, but to really break those regions down. And while you're there in them, and the original idea was that you'd be creating like a dinner party. Each episode would be one, you'd situate yourself into it in a place. Me and like a chef. And then we would go out and go shopping. We had them wake up, have a cup of coffee. It would be like a documentary or like, like almost like fly on the wall sort of thing. And then we'd have a cup of coffee, go over the menu, go our separate

ways. And we'd get all the whatever you needed for the thing and come back. And I would be the conduit for the audience because the chef would be the one. And then I would just sort of help him or whatever. And then we'd throw a dinner party. And we'd have people arrive and blah, blah, blah. That was sort of, but we do it in every region. It's an idea that could work one day. But anyway, we decided on this format for the show. That was the most incredibly long boring not boring. I would love to see that show. I would love to see the dinner party in different regions and you're in a chef. I think that's tempting. Forget when you listen to that. This is going to go. Okay, cool. I'm looking forward to when that's a real show. I want to do one maybe

in the future where I'm just in my house and people come over, we go shopping, we talk about whatever, we cook and we eat. That's all they want from a food show. Yeah, people love that with food shows as well because it's about comfort a lot of the times, isn't it? So you want to feel like you're at someone's house. You want to feel like you're part of a part of a social gathering. Yeah, that's what it is. I mean, and that's what one of the main reasons for why I love it is because it's about communing with people. It's about sharing with people and getting to know people. And you know, you have wine, you have whatever and everybody gets a little relaxed and that's the way it should be. Yeah, I remember seeing you on a Saturday kitchen making a cocktail,

a whiskey cocktail. Yeah, just yeah, a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, and talking about your dad would always look, if anyone went around, they'd always have, he'd say, what can I get you to drink? Yeah, what can I get you to drink? Yeah, as soon as they have dinner parties on a Friday night, Saturday night or something. No, it was just so cool. You know, everybody got dressed up. Yeah, not like nowadays when people show up in their fucking underwear. You're just like, really? You didn't want to put a pair of pants on, you know? I like that. I like it when, yeah, people put a bit of effort in and then cocktails on arrival. Yeah, love that. Yeah, love that. I was talking to a friend the other day who, he said the most dangerous skill he learned was how

to make good cocktails because now it's the first. Yeah, you do. I went to somebody's birthday party the night and like the friends through the schools, through the kids, you know, really nice couple. And I walked in and her parents were there and other people were there and her mother says, so I hear that you make a very mean cocktail. And I was like, well, yeah, I mean, you know, she goes, I'll make you one. What do you want? She said, have a Negroni. And of course, they didn't have anything for a Negroni. So I don't, I can't make you a Negroni. Do you want a martini? Yes, I'd love a martini. And suddenly there were orders for seven martinis. And so I spent the first, you know, 40 minutes just making, you know, working. I mean, it's not my house. I didn't

bite you over, you know. Yeah, you walk into someone else's house, they go, it's what you can get me to do. Yeah, right. I wanted to sit down and somebody give me a drink. It's so funny that she asked for a Negroni, but she knows what she has in her own house. I'll have a Negroni, please. You have none of those things. Well, you won't be getting a tip with that attitude. Yeah, I went through, I went through making martinis at home during lockdown phase, which I had to end quite quickly because that was sitting in front of the TV with a martini in a proper glass. Yeah. Doesn't feel right. No, it doesn't. No, it's meant to be, it's sort of sad almost. Yeah. Oh, hugely sad. Yeah. If you have a book, it's different. Yeah. No, no, why? A book,

yeah, that's way better. It's the same with anything though, I think a book makes everything feel slightly more, if you're drinking a glass of red wine alone, if you're reading a book. Even if you just keep reading the same page over and over, which inevitably happens. I mean, the one attempt I had at making a cocktail in lockdown was when, I feel like I've talked about some of this on the podcast before, but when someone sent me a load of alcohol free beer, it was unwanted. I didn't want it. So I started adding whiskey to it, and it tasted really delicious. And then I started adding, I like chucking a bit of lime juice in there as well. And I was like, this is such a great cocktail. I'm going to make it a cocktail

shaker. So I did that. And obviously it's beer. So as soon as I shook it, the whole thing exploded. Just all over me, because I didn't even think that far ahead. It was like two shakes and then boom. You didn't think that it was effervescent? No. Yeah. Wow. That's sadder than the Martini thing, right? But that's sadder than the Martini thing. Maybe something in alcohol free beer. First of all, adding alcohol to alcohol free beer is really funny. Did it really taste good though? Tastes great. Because as soon as you add the, it just tastes like a normal boiler maker. Oh yeah, right. As soon as you added it, because like obviously alcohol free beer, you get that half the taste. It's like, oh,

this is a real beer. But as soon as you add alcohol to it, problem solved. Yeah. So it was like, I called it a boiler faker, the cocktail, because it was alcohol free beer. That's funny. That was delicious. And then later on, Guinness sent us some alcohol free Guinnesses. And I added Prosecco to that and made a black velveteen. And that was delicious. Oh, I'd like to try that. I had a black velvet the other night. Yeah. Is that really a drink? Yeah. Black velvet is a drink. Yeah. Black velvet, Guinness and champagne is normal. And I went to rules the other night. And they serve it in pewter tankards and it's ice cold in a pewter tankard, Guinness and champagne. It's fantastic.

That's the only place I've had it as well. Yeah. And I had it because I copied Clang, David Mitchell. Yeah. So he ordered one. And I was like, well, I'm just going to copy him because that sounds great. Never had it before. And it was, it was good. Of course he went to rules with David Mitchell. Yeah, of course. You want me David Mitchell? Yeah. And Victoria. And yeah, just copied the drinks order, loved it. And then in lockdown, when I got the alcohol free Guinness, I was like, I know exactly what I'm doing with this. Black velvet. I do love Guinness. I was talking about it the other day with my son. He's six. No. My older son, who's 22, and we were talking about Guinness and how much we love Guinness and how like,

he said, you got to go to the right place, you know, the certain pubs where they can't pull a pint, you know, he's American, but he's lived here for a long time. So he talks like that. And he said, there's this one place, there's this one bar, I can't remember in London, someplace. He goes, they pour the best Guinness. And I wasn't aware of that. That it changes, if it sits too long in the thing, that it changes the enzymes or something. I don't know what it is. I think there's so many variables and it's like how clean they're keeping the lines and all of that and then how they're pouring it. And even the people are specific about the glass. It has to be like the old school Guinness glass. The one that went like this. Yeah, like that, but not the one

with like the, there's like some that have got like a recessed glass harp in them. Not like that. And then the way the stuff they wash the glass with as well, because what people want is for the foam to stick to the side of the glass on the way down. And if you wash them too, almost too thoroughly, it's just a clean glass all the way down. So you want kind of a dirty glass? Kind of a dirty glass. Yeah. I mean, I, this is another rabbit hole I've gone down. I watch quite a lot of Guinness YouTube videos. You do? I've learned new things about him ever yet. The Guinness Guru shout out to the Guinness Guru who goes around different pubs testing the Guinness. Yeah. Has he found one? I want to discover it's your son.

I mean, I think all of the best places are in Ireland. So you've got to, you've got to get that over there really for the best Guinness. I remember going to the Guinness factory. Yeah. It was always weird to go to a factory. But you know, in Dublin, this is a long, long time ago. It was so much fun. Like the tour, like the weird tour they give you and everything. But then you go down and then you give your chits in, right? Your little, and you get two half pints of Guinness, right? They don't give you a big one. They give you two small ones. I was like, why? It was, to this day, I was like, that's like a, that's a seven course meal. I mean, that's like in a glass. I mean, it was incredible. Yeah. Incredible. It's very different than other

Guinness. Yeah. Well, I was in Belfast last, it was to do Mastermind. And there was a pub that everyone said, you've got to go there and get a Guinness. Yes. And I was like, you've got to go there. And me and Phil Wang, I got, I managed to convince Phil Wang to come out for a seafood chowder with me, but he refused to stay out and have a Guinness because he wanted to go and revise for Mastermind. He's an absolute dweeb. Oh no. That's so good. It's bad stuff, right? Yeah. It's awful. And he won, but at what cost? Yeah. Your paperback, Taste My Life in Food, is out now. So that means like the hardback's already been a roaring success. Yeah, it was, yeah, it did really, really well. Just got a nice royalty check.

Guinness on me. Yeah. What's the book about for people who don't know? It's just basically my life through food, which is the titles or subtitle of the book. And it's from my childhood, and then up to today, and how food has influenced my life and my work. And the fact that I realized having been diagnosed with cancer about five years ago, throat cancer, that, and when you can't eat, when you can't drink, you can't do anything, that I thought, well, I don't really want to live anymore if I can't do those things. Luckily, I can do those things now. But it was really devastating. And so that experience was sort of a key element for me in writing the book, because everything led up to that.

And it's just like food on movie sets or food when you're traveling, stories about my family, and all that sort of stuff. But everything is seen through the prism of food. And there were some people who read the book and said, oh, we want more Hollywood gossip or we want more film stuff. It's like, did you see the title? You know, gossip about what? So-and-so was a whatever onset. You're like, fascinating. Who cares? Who cares? Only if it's connected to food, though, right? You could give a little bit of gossip around the craft service table. Yes, which is usually pretty awful. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I can't really imagine anyone coming out with like, an actor or celebrity coming out of a book that's like, my life in gossip.

It's ridiculous. But it's like, you know, when you go on a press junket, there's a story in there about Meryl Streep and I eating lunch with other cast members. And, you know, we were in France, and we ordered an Andriette. Do you know what that is? Do you know what it is? It does look like he did know. Yeah. It's like a sausage, but with horrid stuff in it, right? Yes, exactly. Yeah, we didn't know that. So we ordered this thing and we thought, we thought, oh, we love Andri sausage. And Andri sausage is in the South in America. You get Andri sausage like New Orleans. It's really delicious. Great. We thought, great. So Andriette must be a smaller version of Andri sausage. Everyone would assume that. Sure. Everyone. Yes. Anyone who has any kind

of something. And so they bring this thing and basically it looks like a horse cock. And I was like, what the fuck is that? What is that? And I look at Meryl and I go, wasn't that what I expected? She goes, no, no, no, no. We had all ordered it. We're like, okay, well, give it a try. We're thinking we're so worldly like, oh, I'm going to do it. Cut it, put it in your mouth. Literally, it didn't even get past my uvula and I spat it out. I was so, I was like, which sounded, that sounds really French. Yeah, it was. Yeah. Yeah. And all I was saying, I was, it was so awful. And I was like, oh, God, what is that? That just tastes like, you know, shit. And Meryl goes, yes, well, it does have a bit of the barnyard. And it was

just awful. And we just couldn't eat it. And felt so bad because people were so nice in the restaurant, which is unusual for France. And the guy came over and he said, are you enjoying the broth? And we were like, oh, yeah, it's fantastic. Yeah, you like the Andriettes? I was like, yeah, no, it's really good. It's just different from other Andriettes we've had. So, you know, and he goes, would you like something else? Yes. Can we have four of them? Let's play, you know, you know, yeah, I'm sure that that happens multiple times a day. I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. And some people, but it's prized by some people in that region. And I think Leon, too, or something, you know, it's like, it's like this thing, they're devoted to it.

But they're probably very proud of the fact that other people don't like it as well, right? Yes. Well, I wrote in the book, I said, it's the reasons the Germans left Normandy, because we were in Normandy. I said, it wasn't the Allies invasion. It was the fucking Andriettes. Yeah, drove them away, you know. That episode of band of brothers. This is awful. Yeah, literally awful. Yeah. We always start with still sparkling water for your dream meal. Do you have a preference? I do like sparkling. I can't drink it as much as I used to simply because of the cancer stuff. But now I can drink it for the most part. But sparkling, let's say.

Yeah. Sparkling would be the go to. How sparkling are you wanting it? When you get a glass of sparkling water, do you want it to be jumping as busy as possible? Do you want it nice and mellow? Mellow. Yeah. Mellow. Sort of settle your stomach and. Yeah. Some of them are too bubbly. Ah, but this is. There are two bubblies. It's not pleasant. Yeah. When you see the bubbles, you see them leaping off the top. When you see the bubbles leaping around like fleas on the top, I'm not interested. Yeah. Like little fleas dancing around. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You're the first person who said a stomach settler. A lot of people, when they come on the pod and they talk about sparkling water, they focus on

how it feels in the mouth, the bubbles in the mouth. No one has ever really said about the actual benefits of it settling in the stomach. It does. Supposedly, that's what it, that's what it does. And that's why so much of the world drinks it. See, it's taken a lot of episodes to get to that. Yeah, it has. But we finally got here. We can finally quit the pod. So many people have come on who choose still water and go, why would people ever drink sparkling water? They hate it. They think it's just a thing to look fancy. That's what a lot of people say is they pick sparkling water because it's like a fancy version of water. No. No. It's good and it helps you digest and everything that has minerals in it.

I mean, they used to drink, I mean, a lot is still in Italy, you know, in certain countries, a lot of that sparkling water is like sulfurous water. You know, I remember, like even in like a gym in a hotel in Italy years and years ago, I had like a big water cooler and I was like, working out and you're like, oh, so thirsty. And it was like sulfur water. It's like, oh, fuck, what is that? You know, it's just. Was it sparkling water in there? Yeah. Yeah. It was sparkling, sulfury water. And I was like, who would do that? You know, but it's really good. The thing is, it's really good for you. Yeah. You know, everyone burping in the gym. Was there a lot of burping going on? Yeah, there was burping and

farting, but the water smelled like farts. Fart water. Fart water. Would you have, for your dream meal, you don't want the fart water? No, I don't want fart water. No, no, you would like. You take a bath in it. That's good for you. Oh, yeah? Yeah, like sulfur springs and no one would know. No one would know. Not even you. Did I fart? Who knows? I don't know what's me or what's not. Surrounded by eggy bubbles already. I don't know where I began and the water ends. So is there a particular brand of water that you would go for if you're? Well, yeah, I have a deal with San Pellegrino. So there you go. Yes, yes.

Oh, let me go. Let's get into the deal with the San Pellegrino. No, I really do. I really do love it. They asked me to, you know, be their sort of ambassador and a couple years ago and I was like, yeah, are you kidding? I love it. It's great stuff. Yeah. What does it entail? Do you have duties as the ambassador for San Pellegrino? I do. I do. I just drink it on camera and then they give me money, you know. No, they, yeah, you're just sort of doing promotional stuff. It's mostly sort of all on the internet. But it's actually really fun to shoot it. We shot up where they bottle the water about a year and a half ago. We filmed there and I'm going to film some stuff this week here.

You know, there's just ads for it and stuff that'll come up, you know, on your browser or whatever that is. You know what I mean? So, but it's actually really fun and it's a product that's so easy to go, I really like this because I actually do really like it. Yeah. But hugely classy that you didn't bring up the deal until we really backed you into a corner of it as well. Did bring up what? The deal until we backed you to the corner about it. Yeah, you could have done it straight away. We could have said still sparkling water. When my first needs quenching, I'd be through a glass of San Pellegrino. It could have been straight away. Yeah. We don't have a deal with any water companies yet, do we?

Not yet, which is like, you think you're still sparkling. We say it every episode. Lots of British water companies. Yeah. Good spring water. Oh, I think I hate Harrogate Spring water though. Yeah. This has come up before. He has a real thing against the Harrogate Spring. Why? What is it? Why? To me, it tastes like they filled it up from the tap. Oh. Yeah. But that doesn't go down well if you tell people of Harrogate that. They're very proud of their water. Imagine. Yeah. A lot of things I don't like. They don't like it if you slug off tea rooms in Harrogate, Eva, so don't do that. The tea rooms are objectively nice, but if you do stand-up comedy there for your own amusement, you tell them

that the tea rooms are shit. They really don't like it. No. Yeah. Yeah. Because they use no water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you expect? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to blame myself for my bad gigs. This is James' entire stand-up comedy career is saying things on stage that will deliberately anger the audience. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just petty things. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Not actual upsetting things. Yeah. I've got a Sheffield. I know they're like Henderson's where they should sort of go on and say Hendo's is shit. Yeah. They react like I've just like committed a crime. Yeah. This is a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. I want to know more about where it's bottled before we could continue on. Please. If I may. Is it in Italy? It's in Italy.

Yeah. Like around Bergamo. So this is like. Northern Italy. And did you get to like go through the whole factory? No. I didn't really get to go through the factory. I was really sad. We were just up in that town. But no, I didn't get to go in the factory. It's not like the Guinness Factory. No. No. But I give you the little tokens at the end. You have two tiny glasses. Yeah. Two half-pipes. Yeah. It's that Bella Guido. Those guys. It's a seven-course meal. Pop it up, it's all bread. Pop it up, it's all bread. Stanley Tucci. Pop it up, it's all bread. Did you? I'm sorry? Pop it up, it's all bread. Bread. I do like a pop it down. Yeah. I actually love them. But bread, I think, is more versatile. Sure. Yeah. With Indian food, it makes perfect

sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Delicious. Is there any specific type of bread that is your go-to or the best bread you've ever had? See, it's really weird because in Italy, you don't necessarily have great bread. I mean, particularly up north, you have, like, there's no salt in it, mostly, in Umbria and in Tuscany. You'll get better bread as the farther south you go. But then it also starts to become a little sweeter. Right. So it's, it's kind of odd. The best bread is probably like the bread that people bake at home. You know, like the bread my grandmother would make or my mom would make. It's just, like, incredible. Because I think from, like, the Italian foods that makes it to the UK, like what everyone would describe as Italian food, the bread feels like quite an

important part of that because people would always be able to say for catcher or for batter or oil. Yeah. My kids love that. It's good stuff. Yeah. But no, you're right. Focaccia, that's where, yeah, there are so many different iterations of it, right? So focaccia, yes, ciabatta, yeah. I think ciabatta is a relatively new thing. I don't think that's like an old thing. Right, interesting. I mean, like a real, just simple country bread is what you want. But personally, I mean, when you're in France, it just eclipses everything. Yeah. France and Germany. Germany are the biggest bread eaters in the world. You don't hear a lot about the German breads though. No, there's a huge number of breads. Variety of breads. That's what I would think. If someone says German bread to me, I just

think of a pretzel immediately. In the book I wrote about shooting in Germany and they would serve this breakfast in the morning. It was the most incredible breakfast I'd ever seen. It was huge. Just all different kinds of meats and cheeses and 18,000 different kinds of bread, like amazing breads. A lot of sort of dark, like dark reds. Yeah, dark, rice, pomegranicles, you know, black bread, all that good stuff. And then beautiful white rolls. How do you deal with that breakfast though? Because like, I would just go crazy if it's like meats and cheeses and breads. Next thing you know, I've had eight lunches and it's not even lunch yet. You kind of have to be careful because you know, because then you got to go film. Yeah, so yeah. But like filming here

on one movie, like I wrote, I wrote about it, that there was a really good caterer and they would do a, again, like a huge breakfast with sausages and eggs and all that sort of stuff. And I had never had like a sausage and egg bap. I literally, I thought it was a long shoot. It was a five-month shoot. Yeah. And by like the sixth week, I was like, I've got, I'm going to have a stroke by the time I finish this movie. I mean, it's like, I can't do this every day. It was so delicious. Was it a sausage and egg bap every morning? Yeah, every morning. And I thought, I'm not going to do it today. It was literally like that. It was like, I'm not going to drink before 12. It was like, I'm not getting, like you'd work out, you know, in the morning before you go to work. So you're

all sort of like starving and everything. And you're like, no, I'll just like egg whites or something. And then you're like, just give me the sausage bap, egg thing, or a guv, you know. And you're like, oh, it is mad, though, isn't it? Like, especially with, with English breakfasts, you just think, how is this breakfast? Because this just ruins a day, some of those breakfasts. But it's obviously like, it comes from a tradition where people were eating that and then doing heavy manual labor for the rest of the day. Exactly. But now that's massively changed. Like, most people aren't working right now. We're doing what we're doing right now, sitting down. But the breakfast, that's the same. Yeah, and then like hash browns or something. That's like,

how do you stop? How do you not eat it? Yeah. Now, I've had the experience of going to America, ordering hash browns and discovering they're different totally to here. Yeah. Unless you go to McDonald's. Yeah. Right. And then they're like more like they're a crispy thing in a little shape. Sort of encased. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, hash browns in America, this is potatoes chopped up with peppers and onions. So I think I still, I would say that I prefer hash browns here. But maybe it's because I grew up here. What's your favorite hash browns of the two? The ones here. The ones here. Oh, yeah. Oh, great. You know, they're like, you can make them. Like, it's a chef I knew who taught me how to make them. And the key thing is like you take, you grate the

potato and you grate some onion. And then you squeeze all the water. Like you let it, you salt it and let it just, and then squeeze it, squeeze it. So there's no water left. Then cook it in a pan with clarified butter, not regular butter, because it'll burn. You just cook it in clarified butter slowly. And they get that beautiful, crunchy, crispy. Oh my God. Yeah. My son goes, he goes completely crazy. I made him for him on his birthday. I'm picturing him there with just like hash browns and Guinness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Before we move on to your menu proper, feel like we need to get more specific with the bread, because there's a bunch of different breads. Your grandmother makes your mother, the bread in France, bread in Germany at the

big breakfast. For your dream meal, is there a specific bread from one of those that you would want to start the meal off? I think probably like a really, really good focaccia or schiacciata, which is what they make in Florence. Yeah. How is that different to focaccia as we might know? Focaccia here is a little bit fluffier, right? Which to me doesn't really work. In Florence, they have, it's a focaccia, but it's really called a schiacciata, and it's thinner, and it's pressed down quite a bit. But also in Liguria, they have a focaccia that is similar to that with lots of salt. You know, they all have lots of salt and oil, and it's just like the greatest thing. When you see the salt, yeah. So you don't really need anything else. Yeah. So you don't even need

the oil around. You can just have it, have it as that. Just the bread with olive oil and tons of salt. Because again, if it's thinner as well, the oil is distributed more evenly. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. And it just has that nice crunch to it. Right. Great start. Amazing choice. Yeah. So your dream starter? It's a hard one. I almost just want to say oysters. Like really, really good oysters. Yeah. But kind of oysters like with nothing. And then maybe like a couple oysters, Rockefeller, which I only recently had, I hadn't had them for a long time, and they were really good. Yeah. Because oysters are just, they kind of give you energy, they give you like life, you know. And they don't spoil the main menu. No, exactly. They don't

fill you up. They're just getting the mouth ready. Yeah. Yeah. I went to a restaurant recently in Stockholm. Oh, wow. You know, I won't name it because I'm about to slag it off. All right. But it would be pretty easy to figure it out based on what I'm about to say. But the whole thing was, oh, yeah, this is, we're not adding anything to anything. So it's like, we're just giving you it like one ingredient dishes and all this. And me and my friend were quite excited about this. On the menu, it's like, we knew that there was the menu changes a lot, but there's like dishes that are just one ingredient, dishes that are two ingredients and dishes that are three ingredients. And you're like, right, so this is going to be a place where we're assuming

they get the best produce. So they just show you how good something can taste if you just like, if you, you know, cultivate it properly and you, and it's stored in a certain way. And here's this, the one thing, but it tastes incredible. Instead, it was just stuff that you would normally have as well. So oysters, for example, was one of the things where you're like, yeah, well, that's anywhere I go, that's what an oyster is. And then you have it and go, well, that's not the best oyster I've had. And they're like, yeah, one ingredient though, we're sticking to the rules. Okay. And then everything was that everything was just smoked salmon might as well be out of a packet from Mark. So weird. And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I like smoked salmon, sure.

But I thought this was going to be the best smoked salmon in my life. But instead, you're just going, here's another raw thing, an apple. That was one of them. Come on. It's so pretentious. Yeah, yeah. It was annoying. An apple. I'm angry. Yeah. No, really. Yeah. I remember going to this restaurant. I had been to it a few times and it was, I'm not going to name it. Yeah. And it really heralded amazing. And we're with my kids when they were younger, and they came over and the kids were like, fucking starving, you know, and we go like, can we, maybe some bread, just like a little bread, just to get, you know, because the kids are, you know, no, I'm sorry. The chef does not like to

serve bread for the meal because then you won't eat your meal properly. I was like, what is he, my mother? Okay, fine. All right. So, and then they were like, we have a little, we have a little appetizer coming. And we were like, okay. And little was really the right word because it came, they brought it out on a slate, which is annoying. And you're like, we ran out of plates. You just got the, from the roof, you just got like a tile. So they bring it out. And it was little radishes, little carrots, little cute, but tiny, like, but almost like you're like, is that an experiment? Like, what is that? And the kids, and the kids are like, I'm starving myself. And they bring this thing. And it's just these little tiny things. It was very beautiful. And I was like, so is that,

that's it? And they were like, yes, yes, yes. And then they said, now, today, the chef, this is a vegetable based day, our mains are vegetables today. And he's treating carrots as though they were meat. And I was like, what? What was it? Was he milking them? What is he doing? I don't get it. Like, I don't get it. And they were like, so they brought out like, a big fucking carrot, you know, like sliced and grilled or whatever. And you're like, okay. And you know, for eighth, thousand dollars, you know, we walked out of there starving, went home and made dinner. You know, it was just so pretentious. Yeah, all the bread you could be. I've spoken about this on the podcast before in a positive light, though, actually, it was very tasty. I went to a restaurant,

it was a vegan restaurant, and they did carrot tartar and they do it table side with like an old school mincer. Oh, that's cool. So like they're doing the carrot through there. So they're treating carrots like meat, but it was a bit more fun. It was a bit more fun. That's playful. Yeah, it's playful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See what you think about this about the same restaurant as well. In the corner of the room is the toilet. And you walk in there. Is this the one ingredient place? Yeah, this is the one ingredient place. And you walk into the toilet. And there is a massive mirror that fills the wall, but it's only a mirror their side. So that the diners are there, they've got a big mirror there. They can see their reflections. You in the toilet can see through

to the whole of the dark of where people are eating. And and as someone who stands up to urinate, I felt like I was just getting it out in front of everyone. No, no way. That's so disconcerting. I don't think I could, if you had to poo. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? I couldn't do it. No, yeah. Oh, there's no one. That is just weird. Yeah, but they're weird people. No, shuffling out of one ingredient poo in that place. You don't need to poo off with that meal. Yeah, you don't. Yeah. But what's worse, though, is I bet there's people who go in there and go, Oh, I like this. Yeah. There's people who enjoy doing that. Yeah, but there are people who don't know food, right?

When my friend Henry went in there for a week, when he came out, I told them that when you went in there, they flipped the switch and everyone could see you. Yeah. Everyone saw your dick. It was really fun for me to tell them that. That is insane, though. Yeah, yeah. It was a mad place. Also, he's a vegetarian but eats fish, and he told them before, because we said just like, bring us out whatever, just whatever you would recommend, just bring it out. And he said, Oh, but I'm a vegetarian, but I do eat fish. And they bought the oysters out, and he wasn't expecting that. And he was like, I've never had an oyster before. I was like, they'd really have one. And he literally,

similar to you in the sausage earlier, it went in. And then while still maintaining eye contact with me, he spat it back into the shell. And I was like, thanks for that. That's like the start of our meal. Yeah. And he left his oyster. So he left that there. I ate all the other oysters. And when they came to collect the plates, they went, no one's eating this oyster. And he went, Oh, I don't really like oysters. And she went, Okay, well, just so you know, oysters count as fish. So next time, next time you might want to not, not, not, not tell people you eat fish. What? And then walked away with that. He got properly towed off. Oh man. Oh my God, what an awesome place. Yeah. It's like hell. Yeah. Also, but the way that he kind of like consoled himself

was that they seem very, you know, as it should be, very anti-waste there. So I was like, if it's any consolation Henry, I'm pretty sure she's gone into that kitchen and in the oyster that you spat out. So if it makes you feel better, I think you just, you know, did what we all worried that waitresses do the worst. Yeah. But you reversed it. And it's not even your fault. And then went for a piss and everyone saw his dick. So not oysters from that place. No, not oysters from Lockerfellers. Yeah. Yeah. With a couple of, a couple of Rockerfellers because I was always quite, I was like weird about cooked oysters because yeah, like the raw are so nice. I know. I know. But then I've had them recently where they've

been amazing. Even on, we did our dream menus for our 100th episode and I buy like these meal kits from a place called Decatur who do New Orleans Boils and also these oysters that you do. They send this amazing Pacarino garlic butter that you put on them and then do them on the barbecue. And that is just the best. And they're cooked just enough to still have a bite to them. Yeah, right. And the butter is just insane. Oh, that's amazing. But it's like even like a fried oyster, you know, there's a place, I remember this place in Vancouver. I can't remember the name of it now, but I used to go all the time when I was working there. So much stuff shoots there. And I would just sit at the bar and they had these really cool things. They have been grants

up to the oyster bar. So they have the big soup things that sit on a bar. Do you know what I mean? And they heat the soup up in it. Do you know what I'm talking about? And then they tip it like that and they serve your soup from it. It's really cool. Like they're right in front of you. And so they have those and then they do raw oysters and then they do fried oysters. They were literally the best fried oysters I've ever had in my life. Like you could not stop eating them. Do you want those as well in your oyster starter? Yeah, we can have a bunch of oysters. Thank you. I was on honeymoon in May in California. We're driving Pacific Coast Highway and stopped at a couple of places. Congratulations. Thank you very much. And had like a big bowl of

just fried seafood and oysters and clams in there and just by the sea it just feels it's amazing. Like up in Maine and again I wrote about it in the book. I'm really pushing this book. Sorry. My late wife, her mother and her husband lived up in Maine and we would go up there in the summer and we would get mussels like just from the shore. You know, just gazillions of them and they were the most delicious mussels I've ever had, ever, ever. And you just, you know, you get them, you clean them, eat them right there overlooking the water. He used to go get lobster, just from a lobster nearby. We should go out to an island, cook the lobster and he cooked it so perfectly. He'd just take the sea water, cook it, put it in a pot, put over a fire that we built and

then put the seaweed on top of the lobster and then corn on top of that and then seaweed and then six minutes, seven minutes, done and you're eating that with butter on the shore of this island. It's like the beautiful Maine water. It's always like a little, actually the water's always freezing, just like magnificent. Wow. Oh, that's it. Oh man. My stomach was already going crazy and I could, as you were telling that story, I could feel it just going, I'm about to make some crazy noises. Yeah, yeah. It was that lobster. Is that what that was? People might think that that's the great beneath, getting some sound effects there for the podcast in Gurgle. Good food description. I'll put a little stomach there. They should hire me at a restaurant

to be like a DJ. Yeah, yeah. Does everyone enjoy the startup? Your dream Maine course. Again, such a hard, there's so many things that I love. I want to say a pasta. I want to say a pasta, but I also kind of want to say veal mullinese with chopped tomato and arugula and like a squeeze of lemon. Yeah. Like some of it is basically a venous schnitzel, right? It's the same thing, but when it's made properly and it's really thin and the veal is really good, that is just one of the greatest things in the world. Wow. Or lasagna mullinese is probably maybe the most delicious pasta that's ever been made. Yeah. That's amazing. Properly. Yeah. That's the thing, isn't it? I think we, you know, we ask people their favorite

Maine course and their favorite foods on here, but in my mind, they're always thinking, but lasagna is the best food. So we've just got to sort of, obviously everyone thinks that. Yeah. It is amazing lasagna. I mean, it's a pain in the ass to make, but when it's made properly, like my mom's lasagna mullinese is just one of the greatest things ever. It takes a long time, obviously, to get the sauce ready, right? Yeah. You make the sauce, you're going to slow cook the sauce and then you bash them all up. And ideally, you're using two different kinds of pasta, using a spinach pasta and then just a regular wheat pasta. And you're cooking that pasta, then layering it, layer, layer after layer after layer after layer after layer. And then in the

oven, it's, you know, it's a substance and people just devour it. Yeah. You know, it's like eggplant parmigiana. Yeah. You know, you make it and then you're like, it takes you forever to make it. You know, you put it down and it's gone in like three minutes. Yeah. My son made it a little while ago when he was at university. He goes, dad, make an eggplant. I was like, oh, great, fantastic, great. He called me the next day, he goes, Jesus Christ. I had no idea. I go, I know. I remember I told you. That's why I'd get some apples. God damn it, who ate it all? Yeah. You've almost got it every time you make that, make a little extra one. Yes. Just to keep to the side for yourself. That's true.

You were showing me a photo of a schnitzel before Stanley arrived. I was. Yeah. That was no schnitzel. I was in Copenhagen yesterday. I was in Copenhagen this weekend. I loved Copenhagen. I was there for a half an hour once, but yeah, I loved it. It is amazing. It's an amazing place. We were there for a wedding on Saturday and then hung out there yesterday as well and I had a fantastic schnitzel at a restaurant called Bar, but they do it with, it's like a brown butter sauce with capers in it and then these mushrooms on and then lingonberries on top as well. It's absolutely phenomenal.

Although I was wearing a new shirt because I thought I'd dress up and then one of the lingonberries exploded. Oh no. So that was a bit of a drama. There's a lawsuit. Yeah, exactly. The classic head gamble story and lingonberry exploded on his shirt. And that upset me. My wife had to go and tell me to how to get the stain out to google it, but it was worth it. They're bringing this little pan of brown butter with the, I think they're capers, but they're like quite like dried capers almost. Oh. And you put the brown butter or they put the brown butter on for you and then leave you

with the pan of butter, which is a mistake because as soon as she turned her back, I was, yeah, the pan went over. Yeah, exactly. Were they dehydrated capers? I think they might have been dehydrated capers, yeah, but it was good. We were hung over as well, so it was great hangover food. Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, that's perfect. Really good. And sometimes you get schnitzel or veal myelinitis and it's too, because they cook it in clarified butter, right? But it's just too, to me, too buttery. It's sometimes too thick, too bready, too buttery. When I do it, I try to do it. I don't use flour, which I think is probably a sin, but I only use egg and breadcrumbs. Right.

Have it pound it really super thin and then do half olive oil and half clarified butter. So you're still getting the butter taste, but it's a lighter, it's a lighter, it's lighter. I sort of feel the same about the way a lot of steak is cooked in restaurants. Like just, they hit it with so much butter at the end, especially the butter and the rosemary and the garlic and stuff. Right. When I do it at home, I'll just, I'll use oil, like use rapeseed oil or something. Yeah. Just, you still get the same char, but it's just, you're not just, yeah, and you can eat the whole thing without feeling sick. Yes, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, a little butter, but not, you don't need, yeah. The taste, the taste is good, but you don't need it soaked.

Yeah. What do they do in, so I watched a video the other day. Yeah. Good for you. On YouTube. Yeah. Of, uh, this is my version of your Guinness guy or whatever. There's a guy who goes to, he lives in Disney World and goes to Disney World every day. Um, he lives in Disney World. Yeah, he lives in Florida, but like it just on the outskirts of Disney World and spends every day in Disney World. And recently he went to New York for the first time and made a video of that. And he went to Peter Luger because he wanted to go to Peter, his whole life, he's wanted to go there. Yeah. So it's a video of him going to Peter Luger and having this steak and absolutely having his mind blown by it. Everything that he eats anyway. I mean, this guy goes around Disney

World eating food and it blows his mind and going, every time he eats from food, he goes, oh, wow. That is phenomenal. So he always says that, oh, wow. That is phenomenal. And about Disney love. About Disney World food. Yeah. He'll like, uh, Mickey Benye and go, oh, wow. That is phenomenal. So he loves it. Obviously insane. Come on. This is life. Um, he went to New York. Obviously he went to Times Square because that was where the Disney shop is. Yeah. So he went there. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Uh, but like, he went to Peter Lucas and he was like, I've been dreaming about this steak my entire life. And he loved it. But he said that they, like, broil it before they bring it out. Like they, they broil everything or something before

they bring it out. They cut the steak and then they broil it and then they send it out. Does that make any sense? Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. That's the secret there for all the Peter Luger stuff. Yeah. They broiled the strudel as well. Can you boil everything? Yeah. Everything gets put through the broiler. That's what you guys call grill. Right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. American, right. So. Well, that makes sense now. What did you think it was in your mind? Wait, when you say it was put in a bain marie or something, I thought it was boiling it. No, not boiling it. No. They were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were zapping up and everything and boiling water. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, a broiler is what you call a grill.

Oh, right. So it's the heat's coming, intense heats coming from above and there are a lot of steakhouses that do that. They just go under like that. And it actually can, if you know how to do it, like it makes an amazing, amazing steak. Well, he said it was the best steak of his life. He said he was going to be dreaming about that steak. Really? Yeah. I never, I never went to Peter Luger. I don't think I ever went there. You can't book. Is that, is that what it is? That's instantly a hurdle. Yeah. And you have, I think you have to pay in cash. It's like one of those proper old school places. And they're really mean to you. They're really mean to you. Right. That's what I've heard. Like they're just horrible. I think if you're a vlogger and you're

filming everything, they're nice to you. But there are lots of things because that would be nice to him, but probably because he was documented. If you're taking a sip of the water and going, Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That is phenomenal. Give him everything he's going to promote us. So what of all those main courses? What are you settling on for the main? I would go, let's go for the lasagna bolognese. Made by your mother? Without question. Your dream side dish. I think honestly, charred spinach or something like that, really simple olive oil with a little bit of garlic, but the guy, you cook it with the garlic, right? And then you just salt it, drizzle olive oil and a squeeze of lemon. That's it.

Now, when Stanley said boiled there, James, yeah, stupidly simple, but yeah, it's all you need sometimes, especially if there's like a lasagna floating around. It's a popular side that actually not probably the first shout out for charred we've had, but the spinach and garlic and that's a popular side on the pot. And it goes with the, because if you have lasagna bolognese, you're not really going to have a side dish because it is, it has everything in it, right? So you don't really have one, but if you have one, it should be like a leafy green vegetable. Has that been something that like you've got into more as an adult? Because I don't ever see, I mean, if I saw a kid and

their side dish of choice was some spinach with garlic, I'd be like, this is a sophisticated kid. Yeah. So as you get older, it changes. I remember my kids not eating any of that stuff. And now in their 20s, and they, you know, they do like they love all that stuff. Is that a fun thing? Cause like, I don't have kids. I don't plan on having kids, but I think that must be a pretty fun part of being a parent is like food and like getting them into different things as they're growing up, introducing them to new dishes. That must be quite nice. It is nice. It's, it's hard when they're like the age that my little ones are now seven, seven and a half, four and a half, you know, every day, like you just don't know what

you're going to get. You know, okay, there's going to be some sausages for dinner. I don't like sausages. And you're like, I wouldn't do that. You don't like sausages. No, you're like, they're like 50 of them. You know, it's like it's ever changing. Like you just never know what's going to happen. So you're constantly having those arguments, two more bites, one more bite, one more, no, big bite, big bite, big bite. That's not a big bite. Why is it on the floor now? You know, it's that. So it is really hard. But then once they start to really love something, then it starts to open their minds. And as they get older now, I love watching my older kids eat my son, Nico, Nico is going to go to culinary school. He is going to

culinary school now after graduating with a degree in politics. So I'm really excited. He's a really great, natural cook has always had a sophisticated palate, ate an oyster when he was two. Wow. I know. That's when you know, I think it's illegal. But that's my fault. In olives as well at that point. Yeah. Yeah. He of all of them has the most sophisticated palate. Wow. I think you can tell early, can't you? Yeah. When someone's going to be adventurous with food. Yeah. Yeah. I remember being like that as a kid. You were adventurous. Very adventurous. Yes. I think it was also because I didn't like to be seen as being difficult or right. Well, that's changed. Oh, yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, it's gone. It's gone. I've definitely regressed. Also, I wanted to be like more grown

up than the other kids. And especially if adults are always a bit like, oh, you won't like that. That's quite a grown up taste. We're like, no, I won't have that. That's good. Spinach was the only one they had to trick me to eat by saying it was like Popeye. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Popeye is that he's strong. Yeah. They'd be like, I know. Straight in. That's where you got in the pipes as well. Yeah. Yeah. And tattoos. Speaking out the side of my mouth. Of all of my friends, Ed is the one that if someone said to me, you can hang out with any of your mates as a kid. Yeah. I would choose Ed. Really? Yeah. I'd stay the same age as I am now. Right. But hanging out with Ed when he was a little boy. When he was a kid. Yeah. I think that would be a really fun

day for me. Yeah. I would enjoy it a lot. Yeah. All of my mates. That's nice. It's a pretty creepy hypothetical scenario. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to say anything. Well, I'm going to ask you the question. Yes. Of all of your friends, if you can spend the day with one of them and they, you say the same age and they're five, who would you pick out of all of your mates? Probably. I don't know. That's a really funny question. And it is such a weird question. Probably. Probably my friend, Steve Buscemi. Oh, yeah. I would love to just see what he would look like. Yeah. I think he would look exactly the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, he could say his catchphrase, how do you do fellow kids? And that would actually be true. Have you seen that meme?

That's a huge meme. Yeah. It's a meme of him in the film. In 30 Rock. No, it's in 30 Rock. In 30 Rock. And he's dressed as a teenager with a skateboard and says, how do you do fellow kids? Because he's playing a private investigator and goes undercover in a school, but he's just got a skateboard. Yeah. So you can actually say that as a five-year-old. Yeah. How you doing, fellow kids? I would love to see him as a five-year-old. It'd be funny. It'd be absolutely brilliant. I mean, so many of his characters, which I'd like to see a five-year-old play. That's what I'd like. If it was him, I'd like him to, right now you have to do your character in Fargo, but you're five. Yeah. That would be funny. And just really disturbing. Yeah. Connerby weird one. Yeah. Yeah.

But he is one of the funniest guys ever. He's so funny. Is he a good food friend as well? Do you go and eat together? Yeah. We used to go out. Well, because now I live here. He's in New York. And yeah, we used to go all the time and eat together and we'd visit them in Brooklyn or they'd come up to our house. We'd have weekends and stuff like that. We got our friend Aiden Quinn and his wife, Lizzie. We're the six of us. My late wife, Steve, my wife, this terrible conversation, but my first wife died. Steve's wife died a number of years ago. And the six of us were really all very close. We spent 13 New Year's eaves together. Oh, wow. You know, and we were always cooking and eating and just having the best time. Anyway, that was, I think, killed that story, didn't

I? No, it's nice. I was about to say that my friend named their cat after Steve Buscemi. Really? Yeah. Is it called Steve Buscemi? No, just Buscemi. Just Buscemi. But that's the half that you want to pick to name it after. We didn't know how to pronounce it. So it's just called Buscemi for the whole thing. We said it like that. And I mean, that cat has also died. So no, I'm bringing the conversation. I know a guy who named an actor. What is it? Such a wonderful actor. And Bruce Greenwood, and he told me a long time ago, he goes, look, we named our dog after you. I was like, what do you mean? He goes, Stanley? He goes, no. Stanley Tucci. What's the name of the dog? It's great. That's what you want. You always got to imagine when you name a dog what it's going

to sound like when you call it across a park or something. I know. And Stanley goes, Stanley Tucci. It's so weird. Is that how you met? It's because he shouted that and you were like, yes. For the listener, the great Benito has just said that his friend has a cat named Stanley Tucci and he is finding a photo on his phone. Oh, I'm very flattered. This is lovely. All right, that cat looks insane. All right. That's a scary looking cat. Yeah, that is a scary looking cat. I just caught a glimpse of that. I mean, it's cute. Oh, that's better. Stanley Tucci. Yeah. No, lovely. Thank you. Thank you. It is flattering, I guess, but also I would be asking myself why. Why? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. At no point when you walked in here today did I think you've

he's got the air of a domestic pet. We move on to your dream drink. I think at the beginning, you'd have a martini, right? A vodka martini or a gin martini, you know. What's your preference? I go back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. But with the meal, I think you would have like a really nice, not tanniny. That's just my preference. Soft, red. Italian. Are we going Italian? It could be Italian. It could be French. Whatever. Do you have a sort of a wine that you've had in the past that really stuck out as truly one of the great bottles or one of the great drinking drinks? Well, I think Tinianello is an amazing wine. It has more tannins than I just can't because of the radiation treatments. I can't anything tanniny. I can't drink, which is kind of irritating.

Because it's changed the taste or because it interacts in a weird way? It interacts with your mouth in a different way because your mouth has been so compromised. Yeah. And you don't, I don't have enough saliva to, you can tell even I keep sipping water and I keep, if the lack of saliva, it must do something with tannins. It helps you, you know, swallow them. But for me, if it has very tanniny, it's like someone has taken like a cloth and just wiping your tongue with it or your mouth out, you know, it's like, you're like, painful. Yeah. You know, it's weird. It's almost hurt sometimes. Whereas if it's a really soft red, like a Pinot Noir or something like that, it's like, great, that's fine. But there's a

wonderful wine called Vila Sparina that we had at our wedding. It's a white, white wine. And it's a place that we actually went to and stayed. It's really beautiful vineyard and they have this hotel and it's just, just gorgeous in Piedmont. That white wine, not really crazy expensive or anything, but absolutely delicious. Well, maybe we could have these drinks at different parts of the meal then. I like that idea. Martini at the start. I would do the Martini at the start. And then I would have a glass of the white and then I would have a glass of the red. Oh yeah. A glass of the white with the oysters. Yeah. Definitely. You've got to do that. And then the red with the lasagna. Yeah. Perfect. You've got to do that. Would you raise a toast? Are you a

toast giver when you have a glass of wine? Would you raise a toast? Yeah. Yeah. What would you toast to? This is a new question that James has decided to ask today. Oh, really? Oh, all right. What would I toast to? A happy, long life to everybody. You know, I think, you know, after telling the story about my wife and everything, you know, friends and, you know, it's just after, I think when you start, when you get to my age too, you're like, I know, I'm not ancient. I'm, you know, I'll be 62, but you're like, you start losing people and people start getting, people start falling apart basically. So all you want is for the people that you love to be around. That's a lovely toast. Yeah. See, I think this is a good new question. All right. That's

a good question. That's a good question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Every time someone orders wine, I can ask them if they raise a toast and what to. I think it's a nice one. But Stanley is very thoughtful. We don't normally have such a thoughtful guest on, you know, we have a lot of comedians on who just like toast like the old, to dicks or whatever. So I was going to say. Most of them, most people that's toasting to dicks so far, is he a dicks or a long life for everyone? And it's like, yeah, my friend and I, we, I saw him last night, actually, we, you know, I have a joke, we'll just pick up a glass and go, go fuck yourself. We arrive at your dream dessert. Now, before we started recording,

you did start saying to Ed that you don't really like sweet things very much. And that started scaring me. I'm a big dessert boy. Yeah. All right. So I'm a little bit worried, but also I'm not too worried because, you know, I know you're a massive fan of food, you love food. I would imagine there is a dessert that is sweet that would be. There are definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Blueberry pie. I love blueberry pie. Like with blueberries from like the East coast of the US, like Maine, I love that. Or apple pie, like delicious. I think blueberry pie and like cherry pie, like stuff like that we, because apple pie, we do a lot in the UK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But stuff like, we don't get as many blueberry pies,

cherry pies, you can get a bit, but like, it's not the way it's done in the States. So when we're over there, yeah, I think we talked about before about when we walked ages in New York to get a cherry pie, just following your Google Maps for ages and then the place was shut. Yeah. But like, that's how much bad mood that day standing there. As soon as we thought that's cruel, that's what we want. We just wanted to like a blueberry pie is sounds pretty delicious. Because also the whole pie, we don't have as much of a like a sweet pie culture here. You're a savory pie. Yeah. So it's really the idea of blueberry pie and cherry pie is presented to us through like American films. Yeah. So it's such an American thing to us.

Yeah. Which is weird because I mean, you have incredible fruit here in the UK. I mean, you have an excess of it now because number one, there are enough people to pick it. Number two, it's like, I just heard recently, there was a friend of mine who has a company that does, they call it rescue fruit. So the fruit that's sort of bruised or looks a little funny. Yeah, there's about that. Yeah, they take it and they make like fruit balls out of it and things for kids and jams and all this really great stuff. But somebody came to them. This guy was a huge fruit grower and seller came to them. He said, I have 200 tons of blueberries that I can't get rid of. Wow. And supermarkets were like, we can't take it. We don't have and he's like, can you take it and

put it in your freezers? They said, we don't have the capacity. They threw it out. Oh, man. Can you imagine? Yeah. There was just an article too about something like that, that these people are just throwing this stuff away because there aren't enough pickers. Yeah. Because after Brexit, people stop. We're like, fuck it. I'm not, you know, what's the point? Man, I wish all those blueberries had gone into a pie. Can you imagine? I know because you have amazing, you have amazing fruit here. Yeah. But you do have incredible savory pies. I mean, a pasty in a sense being like that. I had one the other day. Just like the greatest thing in the world. Yeah. It reminds me of being an open spot to as a comedian to just starting comedy, the pasties, because I'd get the train to

London from Kettering, where I'm from. And then... From where? Where are you from? Kettering in Northamptonshire, little market town in the East Midlands. Okay. About an hour on the train into Kings Cross, get there, do the gig, not have any time to eat anything. And just before I got onto the train, just get a pasty from the place and then immediately sit down and burn my mouth. They stay so hot. Yeah. It's incredible. I know. I know. I was just so hungry too. You want to get at it. Yeah. Yeah. I really wanted to get at it. And I try different one each time to give myself a little... I'm trying this one this time. Beef and Stilt and One was my favourite. Oh, beef and Stilt. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's so good. I had to try and sort of slow myself down with them by just eating

a bit around the edge because that's always not as hot. Yes, it's true. Just wait and maybe buy a little hole in the end to try and get some air into the pasta. And then it's party time. Yeah, we stopped the other day and then I went down to Cornwall and just on the way back, just stopped. You know, like a rest stop, you know, whatever you call it. Yeah. What do you call them here? Like a service place. Service thing. Yeah, yeah. And there's always that company, the Cornish pasty company, whatever it is, Cornwall, whatever it is. So good. Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Classic pasty. Like every food culture, I think a lot of, certainly Western food cultures all have a version of meat in pastry. Absolutely. Like little hand pies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We were at

a wedding on the weekend and the bride is English, but her family, one half of her family's Italian and the groom is Argentinian and it was in Copenhagen. So it was just like a mad guest list and all of the food was a huge sort of mix of everything. Right. So when we're all dancing, like the cheese got cut, there was an incredible cheese platter and then, and then they just brought out empanadas about an hour later. I love it. I was just dancing with like two empanadas in my hands. Just absolutely having the best shirt covered in berry juice. Yeah. What are you putting on the pie? Are you having ice cream with it? Cream? Or are you just having it on its own, the blue? I didn't have it on its own, but maybe like a dollop of vanilla ice cream.

Proper vanilla bean ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Get that heart and the cold mixing together. Yeah. Delicious. Right. Well, I'm going to read your menu back to you now. All right. And see how you feel about it. All right. You would like sparkling water, San Pellegrino, to be precise. Without question. Also a martini with that before the meal begins. Forcaccia and I'm going to try and say, I mean, it looks like Bonito's written sciatica, but I'm pretty sure that you don't want that. You'd like sciatica? Skiacata. Skiacata. Yes. Quite a lot of oil and lots of salt. Yeah. Starter. You would like oysters, plain and Rockefeller with the deep fried Vancouver oysters as well. And the Villas

Burina white wine. Main course. Mother's lasagna bolognese with soft red wine. Side dish of charred and spinach with garlic, olive oil, salt and lemon. The drink is also the red wine there. And there's a blueberry pie with a dollop of vanilla ice cream. That sounds very good. I'm hungry now. Yeah. Gotta be right. Very nicely described. Thank you very much. Well, you know, that's all Bonito's doing. He writes it down as the episodes going along. I think that's what you do. You do that and you find pictures of cats that are named after the guests. They are two jobs. You say that. You show that picture to every guest, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go, this is named after you, and they all go.

Well, look at my friend's cat. His name is Yotamantra. That is a good name for a cat as well. Sturley, thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you guys. It's really been fun. Thank you. What a wonderful way to end the series, James. Delicious. A delicious menu and a wonderful man. So true. Such a nice conversation. Such a nice conversation. Such a nice chat with the brilliant Stanley too. She don't forget it's Christmas coming up. Why not buy Stanley's new book? Well, it's new in paperback. Taste my life in food. It's out now. It's good for presence or a little present to yourself. And make sure you get an iPlayer and watch Inside Man as well.

You got it. I mean, you've got to watch loads of TV over the Christmas season, ain't ya? It's perfect. It's perfect. In it. Last episode of the series, we didn't chuck Stanley out. He didn't say Dragon Soup. Thank you. Sorry, Morgana. Sorry, Morgana. No chuckouts this season. No chuckouts at all. Still, the only person we've chucked out is Jade Adams on Strictly. Straight into the Strictly. No, not on Strictly. Jade Adams who's currently on Strictly. Yeah. We chucked her straight into a ball. Well, she's come on Strictly as of time of recording. This is like, as of time of recording, there's been two episodes of Strictly have gone out and Jade is still in it. Strictly might be over. This is the final episode of this series.

So I think safe to say, Jade has been voted off. By now. Probably hit the dance floor. Choosed to do a dance involving hundreds and thousands. Yeah. Immediately got kicked out. Yeah. At the end, she spins around. There's a big spin at the end. There's a hundreds and thousands fly out of her dress. Yeah. Well, actually, that's what I just saw her do a dance recently on it, where it's based on flash dance. She sits in the chair at the end and pulls this thing and loads of glitter falls on her. How could it would have been? Oh my God. It was like hundreds and thousands. Jade bagged hundreds and thousands straight in her face. How baffled would most people be? Why was there hundreds and thousands at the end?

Because she loves it. You know, I think a lot of the time, end of series chat, you know, it goes on for longer than needs be. People don't want to let go of the series. Well, look, they need them worry because, of course, we always do Christmas specials and this year will be no different. We've got two very exciting Christmas specials coming up for you. And also maybe another little surprise. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Another little surprise. And we will see some of you on December 20th at the Royal Festival Hall that's all sold out now. So apologies if you couldn't get tickets, but I'm sure we'll do more live stuff in the future. Yes. Hopefully we will be able to. Yes. They're great fun and we would like to see more of you.

Yes. But we will not come outside of London unless it's Canada. Yes. Only Canada. Only London and Montreal. Yeah. Only two places we'll ever be. Lon Moe. Lon Moe. That's what it says on our Twitter. We don't know. Location. Yeah. Location. Lon Moe. Thank you very much for listening to this series of off menu. Keep on chomping and we will see you very soon. Keep on stomping. Keep on chomping. Hello. It's me, Amy Gladhill. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu,

where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato and our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case. Get him on James and Ed. But we're here, sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the new stories that we've missed out from the North, because look, we're two Northerners. Sure. But we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News.

We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glill's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy. Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.