Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 183: Motsi Mabuse

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

This episode gets a 10(!) from us. Strictly Come Dancing judge Motsi Mabuse is this week’s guest diner. Motsi’s book ‘Finding My Own Rhythm: My Story’ is out now, published by Ebury. Buy it here. Follow Motsi on Instagram @motsimabuse Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy, now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the burger of great chat, squirting in the catch-up of humour, but not before removing the gherkins of evil. Ed Gamble there. I'm putting the podcast in quite a controversial way, I'd say. I'd say that would be the earliest that some listeners have gone, what? The gherkins are the best I agree with the listener. But I know some people don't like gherkins. Some people don't like them, so it's very nicely done.

I love gherkins. I love them. I'm a gherkin boy. This is where we both agree. We're both gherkin gherkins. We're gherkin gherkins, mate, no, we're sterkin. That is Ed Gamble. My name is James A. Caster. This is the Off Menu podcast. We invite a guest into our dream restaurant and we ask them their favourite ever, starter, main course, dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week our guest is Mozi Mabusi. Mozi Mabusi, a professional dancer.

A professional dancer. A judge on Strictly. An incredible judge on Strictly. My favourite judge on Strictly. No shade to the others. No shade to the others. Because it's a very close to your own contest. A lot of the time the judges have to say to the celebrities, this is such a tough decision. It's so close. And that's what you're saying as a judge of the judges. Yeah, I'm splitting hairs here, but Mozi, I'm afraid the other two judges, she is my favourite.

Yes, yes, she's brilliant. Can't wait to chat to her. So author. Yes, Finding My Own Rhythm by Mozi Mabusi is out now. It's her story. It's her life story. There's so much in there from like winning dance competitions all around the world, becoming a Strictly judge, living in South Africa, Germany. What a life. Such a life. Such a life.

Such a life. And you know what, we can't wait to have a little bit of insight into that life through food. That's the show. Yes, that's the show sometimes. Sometimes that, you know, on our good days the show is a tour through people's life via food. Yeah. On the bad days, it's stories about poo and wee. It's nonsense as well.

Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. So we'll see where this one goes. We love Mozi Mabusi, but if Mozi says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will have to throw Mozi Mabusi out the dream restaurant. You're right, mate. I just burped. You better keep that in when Mozi's on. Oh, listen, by the time Mozi comes in here, I'll keep it on top of it. Okay.

You're a fan. You're actively a fan of Mozi. I'm a massive fan. I'm not burping in front of Mozi Mabusi. Yeah. And you better take that stomach as well. Oh, God, I don't know. I better eat something. Yeah, eat something, man.

But this week, the secret ingredient is microwave vegetables. Now, this has been suggested by a listener. No. No. Me. That's a good suggestion. Well done. Thanks.

I was going to give full props to the listener for that. Probably some sort of versions of it that work fine, but every microwave vegetable I've had in the past, so sad. You've got to put a hole in the bag. Put it in the microwave. Soggy. Soggy. Horrid.

No flavor. Soggy. Sad. I would rather have any other type of prepared vegetable. How are you doing your veg at home, James? Well, that's a good question. The other day, I fried up some asparagus. Sure.

You know, if I'm going to do some broccoli, I'd roast it. Yeah. Very rarely do I boil veg now. Yes. It used to be my go-to when I first moved out of the Acaster. Half? Yes. But now I will roast or fry my vegetables.

I'll griddle. I'll regularly griddle. Wow. You came over recently and I did some charred broccoli. Beautiful. Beautifully charred broccoli. Just in a dry griddle pan and put another heavy pan on top of it for like five minutes, flip them, five minutes again.

Beautiful. I went on a Claudia Winkerman's Radio 2 show and she said, and she bought this up, I think, expecting a rise out of me. She said a gamble came on this podcast. He said he's a much better chef than you. What do you say about that? I was like, yes. I think she backed me into that corner.

I said yes, he is. But I don't think that's true. And when I was there, well, for example, I said I was there last time, he griddled some broccoli, did polenta for the first time and it was delicious and he slowed cooked some beef cheeks and they were delicious. There's no way I'm doing any of that. Ever. Look, you've got to have me over and I want some of the classics.

Look, if you don't have me over for Dorito and fucking broccoli pasta at some point, I'm going to kick the hell off. Do you know what? Yesterday, I did. So I hadn't made treats for broccoli pasta in ages. And I was really hungry in the evening and so all we had was the ingredients for that because my girlfriend said I'd buy some ingredients for it. That is mad that we'd have got nothing in the house apart from all the ingredients for

Dorito broccoli pasta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, one of the only ingredients you've got in the house is a broccoli stump without their head. What's going on? But I didn't have the pasta. Ah. All I had was some noodles.

So I made chorizo broccoli pasta with noodles. Chorizo broccoli noodles. Yeah. And it did not work. It did not work. It didn't not work or it did not work. It didn't not work. It worked.

Well, it didn't work either. But it was a departure. I won't be doing it again. Had noodles broccoli. Surely he has some other things to maybe make it like a East Asian style dish. This is the thing. This is why you were right to say to Claudia, you're a better cook, man. Yeah.

Because I wouldn't have thought of that. I just thought, well, I know how to make that. Do you have garlic? Do you have ginger? Do you have soy? No, no, no, ginger. No. Soy, yeah.

Garlic, yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chili, any chili? Yeah, yeah, chili. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Lots of stuff.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, Teresa Broccoli Noodles it is. Yeah, had to be. We're very excited to have Mozi in the Dream Restaurant to chat about food and a little chat about her book as well. This is the off-menu menu of Mozi Mabusi. Mozi Mabusi.

Welcome, Mozi, to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you. Welcome to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. What do you think of the genie? I mean the explosion, that was a welcome. Usually when I get somewhere, there's always music, you know, that jingle that follows me. Something coming up now. It was perfect. We should enter like that, like the judges and be like, yeah, do a little shimmy, then sit down. Can you show me? I can do a little shimmy. The listeners can't appreciate it. Or I do what Anton does. Anton does a very classy, just like blows a kiss,

kind of stands there and just does a classic, elegant. You three have to come up with a different move each time. I mean, when the music plays, you have to move. What else is there left to do, you know? And I can do that, you know? Anton is probably not allowing himself that freedom. No, no, he's too rigid. He's too rigid, serious. Yeah, he can only blow a kiss that guy. Shame. Do you have a go-to move that you would do in that situation when you hear your name? I never plan anything. I just kind of whatever happens happens. And mostly it's the same kind of, okay, hey, everyone. Actually, you know what? I scream, but thank God, I mean, everybody knows I scream, but thank God at that certain moment, the mic is off because it always feels like,

you know, that, come on, let's get ready in time. And then I have to wake myself up. So if the mic was off, we'd all be in trouble. I'm terrified. Live TV having to come up with a little shimmy to do. I don't know what I'd do. I'd fall over my trousers and come down with it. Well, it's the thing as well. I mean, yeah, live TV and you're all having to, as the judges, give your thoughts on something you've just seen. And one of the things that, I don't know, this is probably quite a boring thing to say. But I can't believe how none of you ever really ever say or anything like that. You just go straight. It's like you're reading straight off a script. You just do it. Bam. And it's like, these are so well thought out observations and opinions about the dances.

They're not faltering at any point. You're not going all over the shop. Not at all. You know, I speak English and I speak German mostly, like I would say 80% German and then 20% English. But then I communicated with my daughter in English. So I'm always translating everything. And I'm always stressed out because my tongue has become so German. So it feels like my tongue is a leather belt. And I'm just softening it up. And I'm thinking, do not make a mistake. And the worst part is that my South African brain still corrects me when I have done a mistake. And I'm just like, it's too late. I can't change it. It's live TV. So I'm always fighting that. And in times of pressure, I have slipped. I have spoken German,

but I'm just like, come on, it's a continent. You're all here. Everybody understands a bit of German. So it's happened quite a few times. And I hear like what's going on with my tongue. And I have that South African accent. So it's a mess. It's a complete mess. As someone who only speaks English, that is such an even a weird idea to imagine that you're talking about your South African brain and German tongue and having an internal dialogue about the languages. And I'm just sat here. Sometimes I can't even think in English. No, I'll speak in English. You can't do any of it. Well, the thing is, you all speak differently. Every time I'm in the country, I really have

to concentrate. Some people I just don't know. I'm just like, Oh, he's speaking the same language. I mean, there's a lot of accents here, like different types of I struggle with mostly like on strictly, I really struggle with people that come from the North. Like I just like I'm like, can you please translate at this point? Because I it's so strong. And I just don't understand really. I'm being honest. It's like, hello. And then it's over. But the language of dance is universal. Yes. Yeah. When AJ, your duty was on it, was that quite difficult for you? Yeah, okay. Yes, yes, yes. But there've been quite a few people from the North. So I'm always asking Craig and stuff. And I'm just trying to, you know, understand and positive. But it's not

easy. You're so clearly talented at sort of picking up new languages. But you know, in a couple of years time, you'll probably be speaking like you're from Leeds. I don't know. Well, I always with my team in my room, I always put on then my, what I hear is the English accent. And I'll be just like, hello, everybody. How's everybody doing? And they all love it. Because they're just like, what is going on? I was like, this is how it sounds to me, how everybody's speaking. Yeah. Well, you mean you're sitting next to Craig for a lot of it? Who's a very posh English voice? Darling. Yes, I know. Your new book, Finding My Own Rhythm. Which is it too late to call it South African brain German

tongue? We can change the title. You know, exciting. What was it like writing it? Because I mean, this is like, this is like a fair to say, it's like a life story. Yeah. Well, it was, it was interesting because I had to go, I had to look back again. Obviously, some things I had forgotten and while you're writing, you remember certain things. I feel like it's a diluted version of the truth, kind of just making it readable. Because I think some of this stuff would really went on in South Africa and the dancing world. It's a little bit harsh and people, you don't want people to be scared, but it's a kind of leading, giving a way for people to see how it was back then. Yeah. Because was it in South Africa, you did the dance competitions as well? Yes, as well.

Among them there. Yes. What's that like entering a dance? Because like, I think, strictly looks stressful for the dancers. An actual dance competition must be even worse. I mean, that must be like crazy. Well, you know, when you're young, I am the one that wanted to dance. So when you're young, you kind of go with it. I just feel like it started go crazy when you start putting pressure on yourself. So the first one, you're like, yeah, I won. I'm the African champion. And then it's all fun. And then you say that like that was your first, the first thing you did, you're like, well, I'm African champion. I've never even danced before. No, like the first comp I won, I won four categories and I had four trophies. I mean, for my little brain at that

time, I'm like, wow, I was between I'll say between nine and 11 and after like three months or something. So you know, like I was quite competitive in school with different things. I did a running, swimming. I did, you know, when you have a like debate and I did all of that stuff. But you got one gold star or something, but four at the same place. I'm like, this is home. So immediately I got stuck. I think it got it got worse later. But in the beginning, it was just lots of fun and discovering every like, you want to wear the pretty dresses, your hair gets made up and all of that as a girl. It was nice. And do you ever see like, when you're judging on Strictly, you ever see a dance and you think, I could have done that when I was nine.

Yeah, well, it depends who's doing it. Some of the dancers, I think I could done that, you know, with a cloth in front of us. No, it depends really some, some, some stuff. Yeah. I mean, they're beginners, right? Yeah, they're people that never dance. So it's, it's okay. But I have to say this year that the standard is high. I'd have to start practicing again this year and last year. Very good. My, my favorite thing about watching Strictly is when they say a less talented celebrity on dance wise and the composure that the professional dancers maintain during the dance when they're, you know, say just dragging someone around the floor basically or dancing around them. Just the absolute composure, like the person they're with is also a professional

dancer. I just think it's incredible. Yeah. Tony and Katya this year, one of my favorite things to watch ever. Yeah. I absolutely loved it. And I mean, it's fun for us to watch as a professional because I did the show in Germany as well. And I had, let's say a kind of Tony Adams. And the people loved it. They thought it was entertaining. And the best part is that he was a great guy. So we could sit and talk. But my dancing brain, I had to just tell, forget it. Like just make this about joy. But all dances, I think most dancers are quite competitive. So the hard part is like telling your own kind of ego and your own kind of a competitive side chill. This is not going to be there. And what you learn later, this is entertainment. So Katya

and Tony never want, but I mean, they were vibing. They gave an energy that we will all never, ever forget. So it's something that, you know, you impress for a while. Some couples were really good, but you've already forgotten them. We won't forget them. I mean, hopefully. We won't forget some of the moves. Are you a big food fan before we get into your dream menu? I love food. I mean, I do look like I love food. I love food. I just think that if you have that opportunity, it's a pleasure of life. So I enjoy. I mean, don't tell us any of your choices yet, but we're going to have some different world cuisines in there from maybe from where you live now, from where you grew up. Yeah, I try a lot, but not too much. Like I've been to Vietnam where I kind of also have to step

out and be like, okay, go ahead, husband, you do that. I'll watch. I'll have chicken. Do we have chicken? What dishes in particular? Oh, man, I've seen it all. I have seen it all on a plate. And my husband's like, come on, try it out. And I'm just like, no. I mean, I'm brave, but not that brave. Like really, honestly, I've seen it all. We've been to markets in Vietnam where you kind of choose what you eat. And yeah, you can imagine. And people have fun. Ed would love it. I would love it. I love all of that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very straight in. Very much similar to your husband. It sounds like, yeah, if there's something new to try, especially if people are being impressed or disgusted that I did it. Absolutely. How are you

doing? I'm a show off. Oh, no. Have you been to Vietnam? Never been to Vietnam. I should go. You do that. Yeah. What are we talking? Like weird animals? Like animals. We've like seen animals also that I haven't ever seen. Like don't know where the orientation. I think they're from the sea. Yeah. Yeah. And sauces and spices that I appreciate. I appreciate, you know, kind of there's something different. Or I appreciate eating something here and then trying out in like China or in Japan and say, Oh, it tastes completely different with Thailand. I love Thai food. So it's just that I kind of have to recognize what I'm eating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something from the sea that you've been counted before. Yeah. But not that literal. Wonderful. No, no, no.

You don't want to recognize and go, Oh, David. Oh, no, it's David. Not that far. That's when I wouldn't eat it. If I was like, I've met that guy. Guys, are we still talking about food? Well, let's start with your dream menu. We always start with still sparkling water. Sparkling. Still water is death, guys. Oh, wow. I'm so sorry. That's fairly contrarian to what a lot of people would say. Yeah, a lot of people have come in. They really hate sparkling water. Sparkling water is the strictly of waters, though, isn't it effervescent? I guess. But then I would imagine that if you were dancing, you would want a still water to quench your thirst. Well,

in the good times when I have a choice, it's always sparkling. Well, if I'm working out or something like that, I have still water, but it's always sparkling. I drink still water all my life, like all my life. And I cannot. It feels like a step back. No, I can't. I have to enjoy it. Come on, let's be honest. Water is nice when you're thirsty. We drink water because we have to. The body needs it. If we had a choice, we would not drink water. I mean, the choices of taste. I don't mind it. Yeah, sometimes I'll sit down for a nice glass of water. To be fair, I do have three drinks in front of me. I mean, that's the thing. You have a choice. And this is the healthy choice. We drink it for health. Yes. I mean, you do know that there is

someone who works, you know, one of the strictly team who doesn't ever drink water. Really? Yes. Who? Giovanni? No. Actually, this would be a fun guessing game. Giovanni. No, I think Giovanni drinks water. Is it a dancer? No. Then it's Anton. No. Greg? No. Shirley? No. Who's left? Claudia Winkleman? She doesn't drink water. She thinks it's disgusting. You see? She thinks it's disgusting. You see? And she says she can't kiss her husband after he's drunk some water because she imagines he has a big swollen tongue full of water. No, but it's a necessity because the body needs it. But if we had a choice, we wouldn't drink water. We've got, you know, fizzy drinks. We've got coffee. We've got wine. We can go on. Well, would you have something else for your watercourse then? Because

now you do have a choice. Sparkling water with a bit of lemon and ice. A bit of lemon and ice. To start it off. Crushed ice? No. Just the cubes. And would you agree with Ed that it's the strictly of waters? Yeah. It's great. It gives you life. You know, it's something bubbling and you're like, oh, yeah, it's not just plain old water. There is something happening. Strictly is a fizzy show. It's a fizzy show. We sparkle all the way. Exactly. Everyone's sparkling. Do you want, as well as bubbles in your water, do you want some actual sparkles in there as well? We can put some glitter in your water for you. Oh, wow. That's never been offered. I will never say no to sparkles. How can I? How can I? If we zoom in on all the little bubbles in your sparkling

water, they all look like glitter balls, like the strictly disco ball. Yeah. Yeah. Would you like that? Sounds great. Tony Adams' face in it. Tony Adams' face is reflected in the glitter ball. It was top off. This is the strictly water. Yes. You advertise that. I will take everything for strictly. Yeah? At this point. I just realised I'm meant to shout poppadoms. So normally I'll shout poppadoms or bread. This is great. This is the first time you've ever tried it on it. And I literally had a burp come up as I was doing it. Oh, wow. Because we're talking that. I mean, I don't really mean that to you, Motsy. But I have to because I just completely ruined the timing of it. Yeah. I basically suppressed the burp, then looked at Ed with very guilty eyes.

That was like, I was supposed to shout then. And what I didn't want to do is shout. Burp it out. And burp, and Motsy maboozy, and then be like, fuck. Where am I? The rest of my life, just be thinking about that. Yeah. Every time you watch strictly from now on. Yeah. I burped at that lady. Poppadoms or bread, Motsy Maboozy. Poppadoms or bread. Did it still go up? Yeah, it goes. Yeah, you scared me. I'm surprised. Even though you knew it was going to happen. Bread, guys. Always bread. Bread, bread, bread. Any particular type of bread that you would like on your dream meal? I mean, we have, how do you call it in UK? We have this full corn bread in German.

And it's quite, it's like a dark bread, healthy, nice, thick, and then you have some butter on it. That's, that's amazing when it's freshly done. Warm. So warm. The Germans do bread very well. A specific sort of bread, like a sort of heavy, feels like, really feels like you're having almost a full meal with every bite, like proper. Yeah. I love that stuff. And like, if you travel out of Germany, you'll like look for a bakery that's got German bread because they just, and there's like, when you go to the bakery, it's just, the whole thing is bread and you're like, okay, what am I going to eat today? What am I going to eat today? Yeah, they love bread. You like a wide selection in your bread. Yeah. A lot of, a lot of selection.

It's like, I don't know why you live in Germany. Well, I live there because I, I landed there. Yeah. I fell in love, moved to the country, and then I was like, okay, it's just for a year. And now it's been 22 years. So I've adopted some German mentality and things. What sort of things have you adopted? Well, I hate being late, like late timing. And I just also think, I think you have to work, like the Germans work, work, work and follow rules. I'm quite like that in, in every perspective, I would think it's very low key. It's all about just, you know, what is the function and it makes things comfortable. And you know, people will not step

out of line. Like you can rely when they say, we're doing the, the, you know, we have on Wednesdays the garbage, this garbage and this and this goes to the plastic. And you kind of feel like every neighbor does it and they're like, look at the one African Union, Korean family in the street. So things work because everybody just really like the bus comes on time and all of that. So that's kind of the German things you don't. Maybe I'm German. Yeah. My dad lives in Germany for a bit and he loved it. He loved all of the different bins. Yeah. I mean, and he explained that to South Africans when they visit, I'm just like, oh my gosh. And they think I'm crazy, but they just have a system. The Germans have a system and then,

yeah. And I landed there because it was quite safe. I felt safe. I was in the dance bubble and then like you can leave your bag in the car. You can leave your car open while it depends probably where you live, but it's just that sense of safety you had and coming from South Africa, where you're just like ducking every single corner and then going to Germany and feeling like you could breathe. I think that's why I kind of felt, okay, I'm going to stay here for a bit to get used to not looking behind my back every time. Yeah, it is. That must have taken some getting used to though, even just like leaving your bag in the car and back that blew your mind the first so you saw someone do it. I mean, like even in summer, God of the car, forget to close the window.

I'm going to go to Germany and steal loads of backs. You could. Definitely you could. Also, you could, even if the window was like opened that much, I reckon your arms are so like I could get through. You could get through like Mr. Tickle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like Mr. Tickle. Yeah, like Mr. Tickle. Yeah, like it's two-dimensional. Yeah, like flat-standing. And get through there. Is it hard to suppress that those are German need for rules and things being the way they are? Is it hard to suppress that on the panel at Stritley? Because you're quite a, I'd say of the four, you and Antonin Moore laid back and generous. You laugh at Craig for being very strict. Yes. And you're laughing your head off next to him. Yeah, I laugh all the time because

I know him privately and I can't kind of switch back enough because you meet Craig and he's like the sweetest. He's fun. He's so relaxed. He's just, we laugh a lot. So when he comes on the show and it's Craig and then he does it, I'm always like, man, didn't we just have a conversation like five minutes ago? Who's this person? So I'm always laughing at that. And obviously, it's the very opposite of what I am. So it feels like I told him, you really do make my job really easy because you smash everything. And I'm just like, let's build it up again. So it feels that way. But in my mentality, when I'm judging and entertaining and all of that, I'm very much myself, complete self. So it's not that hard to kind of switch that German side off.

It's difficult to be in South Africa. That's always difficult because I have to really, literally tell my brains, relax. When people say, we're coming late, just know it's late. It's not five minutes late, not 10. They come at three o'clock when you said, let's meet at eight. So that's later. So there I have to really kind of, because I get stressed. I'm like, we're leaving, we're leaving. We're going to dinner and I'm dressed and my people are not going to take the shower. I'm like, what? So it's that situation. He would be few. Oh, I would hate that. If people turn up at three when they're meant to get there, I can't, I wouldn't even bother showing up. If I was that late, but into Ed's house, I would just take my own death and try and make

you think I would get and never see him again. Cause like, it's true though. It's weird though, if I try and tell myself to relax about it, because if I go like, you just be chill, you'd be chill. And then chill Ed is so obviously not chill. We'll be like, oh, hey man, don't worry about being late. That's, that's cool in this house. Clearly not me. The project is here and somebody asked you something really like, can you pass the salt? And you're like, salt! Would you like me to pass you the salt now or shall I leave it an hour after you offer it? Exactly that. Man, I could not stop burping, man. Are you drinking sparkly water? No, I had a diet coke and a bowl of poke. So I'm really,

I mean, I can't tell you much. I'm sitting here being like, if you're sitting here doing fishy burps, this whole podcast, man, you'll never get, I'm holding it all in my throat. It's horrible. Oh, James. I want it to be relaxed for this one. If you saw one of the celebrities burp while they were dancing like, and it was so obviously a burp and you smelt it a little bit, would you, would you reduce your score for them? Well, it depends if it's out of timing or not. I mean, if it happens and you're in the music whatever, like, but if you kind of stop and I'll be like, what's up? Then obviously no points there. If they like did a bit of a flourish with it and it was clearly on time, then great. Yeah.

It was right at the end. Styling. Yeah. At the end, their arms go out. They did a burp on the last note. As the dancer, then my only fear would be if we ended up in the dance off and I had to do it again. Yeah. That would be the only thing I'd be like, I've got to recreate that because they all think it was part of the dance and it wasn't. And now I've got a burp going on here. Yeah. Let's get into your dream menu because I've always keep on asking about Strictly and we said, we'll do that throughout the episode. Your dream starter. You know, the thing is when you love food to pinpoint it to one thing is like awful. Oh, we know what we ask people to do is horrible. Yes. It's not fun for people to be on the podcast. We ever laughed at it. It listens fine.

I love Italian starters. I love when you kind of have a choice off and then you can mix it. I mean, you have everything when you have tomato and mozzarella and then you've got, that's what I usually do, but when you've got everything, mushrooms and salami and like the whole platter and then you're like, okay, let's start. So you would like a platter. You look like a anti-pasti. Yeah. But a yummy one. This is the dream restaurant. It will be. You don't need to specify yummy. I'm just saying because there's a lot of not good stuff. But a yummy one. Write that down. Not horrible. Not the horrible one. The yummy anti-pasti. You know what? The word is stuck into my head because yesterday we were looking for some

Christmas presents, but funny Christmas presents for the team. And I found a kind of very nice disu out of candy, you know, like little tiny sweets. And I had my daughter and she kept on running around the whole shop going, mommy, your yummy panty here. And everybody was staring at me, you know, and a couple of girls came, are you Muslim or Muslim? And I'm like, oh no, not now. Right now I'm not. So that's why yummy is in my head. Would you like the yummy, the yummy panties on the anti-panties? What do you think of this, Mosse? I had a friend, when he was younger, like a little kid in primary school still, he went shopping with his dad and it was his mum's birthday coming up. And his dad wanted to buy

his mum some nice underwear. Sexy presents. Tantalizing senty, sexy underwear. Sent it. But the dad was too embarrassed to go up and buy them. So he sent the kid up to buy some sexy lingerie for his, for his own mum. What do you think about that? Whatever works, guys. No, for real. At this point, think of the goal. And like how sweet is it? Like probably the child's like, yeah, my dad's over there. So don't get busted. It doesn't work anyway. But whatever. It tends to be a mannequin. Put some underwear on himself. Yeah. No, do it. Go all the way. That's fine. What else is on this anti-pasty platter then? So you got some salami, tomato, mozzarella, mushrooms. We've got, I don't know the names in English. You have to excuse me. The

lemon with the prosciutto around it. Yeah. Yeah. Melon, not lemon. Melon. Yeah. Almost there. Oh, for a second now. It's like lemon with ham. And you accepted that. Well, I thought it was something I'd not heard of. You know, I don't assume I've heard of all the foods. This might be some sort of German-Italian hybrid thing. No. Melon and lemon are crazily close to each other. I mean, pronunciation, you see. They're just anagrams of each other. That's crazy. Has that ever got you in trouble before? When you wanted a lemon, you got a melon? Yeah. No. No. Yeah, maybe. You asked me to put some lemon in your water earlier. Is that what you meant? Water melon.

Melon. You see, there we go. Melon. Yes. The honey melon. Do you want more bread on there? Any sun-dried tomatoes? Anything like that? Bread, bread, bread. Sun-dried tomatoes, yes. I love also, you know, from Greece, they fry like the zucchini or like that's really, really nice. Is this like a sharing platter? Would you share this with someone? Who would you like at the dream meal with you to share that with? One person that eats well is my husband. So he's the kind of person that I know we can order more and we don't throw away food. Like, he'll be like, yeah, he is because he's just like, you know, when I met him, he didn't care. He was like, food, food, just eat, you know, and now he's like, I used to ask him, how does it taste?

And he would be like, oh, just man, I'm hungry. So now, like, he kind of tells the difference. But I always know that I always order so that I know he'll have the rest. Yeah, smart. So he's like a bin, like he's a big dustbin, basically. A little bit, a little bit. He can eat. That's my job as well, don't worry. He's been the table. I'm my wife's dustbin too. It works, it works. Ed loves being a dustbin. He primes himself on it. Makes you feel useful. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Look at about yourself. And more like a sort of garbage compactor, you know, like the thing in the middle of the sink

that people have sometimes. Disposal unit. Like in, do you remember, like the one in the Flintstones, I guess. Oh, yeah. In the Flintstones, the garbage compactors, real and can talk. Yes. It's a little, it's a little dinosaur, a little pig dinosaur. Yeah, I'm a pig dinosaur. So he's kind of like a little pig dinosaur garbage compactor. But it helps. I'm helpful. I'm a helpful guy. Very helpful. I like banana skins. Do? No. I ate a banana skin once. And dried, dried, dried. Really dried out my mouth. I saw it on the film K-Packs. There's a film called K-Packs with Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges. And Kevin Spacey is a man who's claiming to be an alien and you're

not sure for the whole film if he's an alien or a man who thinks he's an alien. And at one point, he sits down with Jeff Bridges, who's a doctor to talk to him. And there's a fruit bowl and he just picks up a banana and just eats the banana with the skin on. He's an alien. So eats it all like that. And I read that he had done it in real, that he did it for real. It wasn't like a fake banana that tasted, it was a proper thing. So I was like, but I thought the way he does it looks delicious. I bet that's delicious. He tried it. He tried it. So I did it and it completely dried my mouth out. But I saw it right through to the end still. I ate the whole thing. Wow. But yeah, it was, it was pretty, pretty bad.

We're not sure if James is an alien or not. We're going to do some tests. What do you think I was an alien? What planet would you think I was from? Oh, wow. Help me. Just for the listener box, he looked directly at Benito and said, help me. And I don't know whether that was about the specific situation or the whole podcast in general. I'd like to say that was the first time it happened on the podcast. Help me. What's the correct answer there? The closest to the planet. Not this planet, but the closest one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you and your husband are sharing some anti-pastry.

Yes. For the middle. No one else. You don't want any of the strictly judges with you? Why you put me in that spot? I want all of them. No. All or nothing. I'm not choosing. You can't choose between them? No, no, no. I don't want to get myself in trouble. Everybody's coming to the dinner. Yeah. Yeah. All three of them. All three of them.

And would Craig be like, oh, this anti-pastry. It's not the best anti-pastry I've ever had. This is quite bad. And Anton's like going, it's a 10. Every mouthful he has. He loves it. No. She only gets the deciding vote. We eat it together. We do share a platter every time, actually. We do. We do. And we love it. We all love cheese and crackers. I think everybody calls them crackers. Yeah. Yeah. Cheese and crackers. Grapes. Yes.

We have grapes and hummus. As that was behind the desk. No. When we kind of like, hey, how are you doing? How was your week? We sit together. I've seen it when, you know, the scorecards go up and one of them's got a big lump of hummus on the top. Flex all over the audience. But we're always clearing up because we got like, you know, there's stuff on the table. Yeah. But we share. We share.

You ever grabbed the wrong panel by mistake and you've ended up giving someone more or less points than you intended to? No. Has anyone else done that on the judging panel? No. That can't happen. Yo, yeah, yeah, I surely did it this year. First year she did that. Oh, yeah. I think she said six and she had seven and then they asked which one was it or something like that or something happened like that. But you can't because you have to, we have a scoreboard.

So you have to give the scoreboard and then take the number. Nice. All right. So you're concentrating. You must love that. I'm efficient. It's different. I mean, like in Germany, we don't have a scoreboard. So you can wait until the very last second. So you speak to the couple that go upstairs, they speak to the presenter and even then you still don't have to decide. So you can like literally you have like five minutes to kind of reflect and then decide. And then it happened. One of the judges was like

dry and he had a four. So now it's like a meme, meme everywhere. In every channel people are like dry. That's his life forever now. That's his life. He walks down the street and kids are going dry. He's famous for that. Your dream main course. Is this a shower as well? Is it just for you? No, you know what happens. So my dream main course is that I always kind of when we go to dinner, I'm like, okay, I'd love this and this. And I'm so lucky that my husband says, okay, you choose. So I choose both. And then we like we do half, half kind of thing.

So like he doesn't really like only when he orders like a spaghetti carbonara that I'm like, I'm out. I don't want that. But why do you hate spaghetti carbonara so much? For me, it's like it's bland. Like there's just this one taste. Like it's just, yeah. It's got cream in it though. Because when it doesn't have cream, it's quite a lot nicer. I have to try it without cream. You look so upset thinking about spaghetti carbonara. No, I've tried it and it's just, I don't get it. And when he orders, I'm happy for him because that means he's made a decision. But also he knows it's the one dish you don't like in the world. But he loves fish. Like he'll take pizza with marinara pizza. Like he put and that I don't

like so much. So there are some dishes that he would take that I'm not in it. But my favorite meals, I would say the dream meal is schnitzel. Yes. This is our first schnitzel. This might be our first schnitz. The proper one guys. So what's the proper one please? Like it's thin, thin, thin, thin, thin. And then it's crunchy. And then you've got a cucumber salad cooking. And then you've got the red berry sauce. And then you've got pommes like a french fries. Like that's that's good. And what meat is it? Normally it's pork, but you can have chicken. But it's normally pork. But a nice thin one with it, with like that crunchy part is actually raised from the meat itself. And the minute you put like the knife, it goes, phew. Such a good choice. Thin one.

Yeah. Very nice. Because it's not filling. Like if you have then not so good ones, it's just like yeah. And do you want your husband to order another dish that you can have half of? Well, if it's good, no. I'm like, hey, yeah, but you'll probably order it with me. Like if it's good, we order the same. But that must be annoying if it's a really good schnitzel, for example. And you've ordered something for him that you know, you're going to have half of because the agreement is he then gets half of the schnitzel. Do you get half of the schnitzel? And you're like, this is going to be an early goodbye to this schnitzel. Straight into the bin. No, I do make sure that whatever he orders is yummy. It's not like, yeah, if it's nice, it's nice.

But I really, really have a very, very friendly husband. He'll be like, let's order another one or something. So it's. He loves this guy. Yeah. He sounds great. I love this guy. He is, he is shame. He's obsessed with this guy. I know. I know. Poor guy. No, I'll take schnitzel because I love a lot of stuff. Like I also love spaghetti marinara, but when it's well done, like, like, oh, gosh, really good, good, good, good. Yeah. I feel like you need to try a proper carbonara that doesn't have cream because in the Stanley Tucci episode on his TV show, I can't remember where it is he goes to because it's obviously, it's all around Italy. It might be the Rome episode and he has carbonara done the

right way and it's just, it just looks so good. And him and the, and he's like, this is the best one I've ever had and it's the same, but it shouldn't have cream in it. And they're very, you know, the people he's talking to who make it are like, yeah, they're annoyed that cream gets involved. I think it's a thing that people try to fit the taste of something to the countries. Like, in Germany, if they say chili, like it's chili for the Germans, if they say chili in Thailand, you can't eat that stuff. Like you run. So I think it's something to do with it. Just obviously just imagining someone going to Thailand and just running away every time they see it. There are certain things which weirdly, and I find really funny and people running is one

of them. I don't know why. I don't know why the idea is something to do to run away. Yeah, someone running away is funny. That's how you know you've had an easy life. The idea of someone running away is funny. Have you ever ran away from anything? Good question. That's a great question. Yeah. Yes. Yes, I have run away. The only time I remember properly running away and being scared was a night out in Ketling, where I'm from. Oh, wow. So it was a teenager and had some friends who had a flat above a like a kebab shop right in the center of town. The story where he's going to. Yeah. So we were all there on a Friday night, me and about, probably like, there's probably about 15 or 20 of us. I'm all into kind of like punk music at the

time or listening to quite loud punk music and chatting to each other and three massive guys who were probably in their thirties walked past, you know, shirts, iron shirts on from work and all this. They're hammered from the pub and they could see some of us on the balcony and they were shouting up, turn that music down. We hate punk music. And it was just bad luck for the rest of us. They spoke to the malviest ones who were just like, we love it. Whatever. What are you going to do about it, mate? And those guys were psychopaths. Oh, wow. And I don't know how it got from us being in a safe flat altogether to all 15 of us running through the town in different places. Why do you leave the flat? Well, I tell you, I don't know how they kicked. They kicked

the door. Oh, wow. So it was, it was full on. Yeah, not the only time that's happened to you when you've been in a flat, but finish this one before Edinburgh festival. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you that. We claim we find the police when we haven't, they leave us alone. Then someone decides whether the drunk punks goes, I don't want to go and confront those guys. He goes out on his own. We all have to go after him to get him back. And then we're out in the open at that point. And then we're all running away. We're all running away. That's so funny that you get confronted for playing punk. You're alone of punks hanging out in the flat. And then within a second you go, we have called the police. We don't believe in authority up until we feel scared.

It never works, right? They're always too late. And then at the end of the festival, someone kicked our door in because a member of somebody who was living in the flat, not me, poured a pint of water out of the window onto his head. And then the guy tried to get the door in, couldn't get the door in, thank God. But I did have a can of spray paint on him. And spray paint did a word across the door. But fair enough. It's the word you're thinking of. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I'm going to bring it back to food. I've been experimenting with spaghetti recently, Monty. And there's another Sweetie Panties story. No, not Sweetie Panties story. Candy. Yummy panties. Not Sweetie Panties. You said you've been experimenting

with spaghetti. No, we're eating it and stuff. I'll not be wearing it. Marmite. Oh, marmite in the spaghetti. Cook the spaghetti, drain it, save the pasta water. In the pan, butter, marmite, pasta water, bit of cheese until you've got an emulsion. Put the spaghetti back in, mix it, absolutely delicious. Really? Oh, God, so good. Oh my gosh. Now, if you don't like the sound of that, I should tell you, he is a good cook. So it probably is nice. There's a Nigella recipe for peanut butter spaghetti. Wow. That is absolutely fantastic as well. Wow. Similar principle, yeah. You don't seem impressed. You know what? This thing is with marmite. I won't get it. I will, I accept that it's there.

Every time I bring somebody here to visit, it's the trick. I'm like Nutella, marmite, and something. And I'm like, I never say anything. Never ever say anything. I'm like, try. It's a delicacy. I think pitching it is a delicacy, maybe. Oh, marmite, I think probably you either love it or hate it, right? I think so. I think so, yeah. That's why I can't imagine it like, but also it's salty. Maybe it's not that bad actually. Yeah, it's salty. It's pretty salty. Oh, extremely salty. Yeah, so probably would work in the pasta. Yeah, but if you're like sort of diluting it with other stuff and then there's, you know, and then it gets, it covers the pasta. Could happen. I've had chocolate that's got marmite in it. Have you ever had that?

Surprisingly nice. It sounds like one of those challenges. You're like, do it or not do it. How much am I getting paid? I've definitely mentioned it on the podcast before, but there's ones where it's just chocolate that has some marmite in it. Yeah, I've had that. And they've made it as blocks so that you can get a faint taste of it and it's quite subtle. In New Zealand for a while, they did a limited edition chocolate bar that I think was, it was weird. I think it was Cadbury's doing it over there where it's like, you know, a Cadbury's caramel chocolate bar where it's like, it's literally just filled with caramel. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It was that, but marmite instead of caramel, so big pockets of marmite inside.

And that was a bit trickier. Yeah, huge respect to Paul A Young, the chocolate here, who did a similar thing here. He makes amazing chocolate. You should absolutely seek him out, but he did do a marmite bar like that. And I ordered four of them because I thought, I'm going to love this. I love marmite. And it was too much for me. You love marmite. I love marmite, but it's just too much. Paul A Young did a marmite chocolate brownie that was delicious. And my flatmate at the time loved chocolate in marmite. That's how I got into it because he would get himself a little treat. He'd get a bar and I'd last him a couple of months. He'd just have a little block a day. And I got him this brownie because

he'd just broken up with someone. And I was like, I love you, my friend. He did love it, to be fair. The chocolate brownie one was good. Cheered him up. He did cheer him up. He said, that's thoughtful. I was like, yeah. He goes, sorry that you're unlovable. He's married now. Friends. He's married now, yeah. No, marmite, I think it's a Commonwealth thing. I think, like we had it in South Africa when we were young. Nobody has ever heard of it outside the people eating marmite. There's one rule in marmite club. Don't talk about marmite. Don't spread the word, spread the marmite. That's the catch phrase. So you love it as well? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it a lot. In fact, like the our main logo for the podcast for a while

was the marmite jar that said, say, marmite said off menu and then marmite sent us this. So the marmite people sent us our own jar of marmite that says off menu instead of marmite. And that's when we knew we'd made it. Yeah. That's probably our day. Don't eat that off. Yeah, no, no, no. I'm not touching it. I just want to do it for one of those dares. How about you do want to sell this book? German for the main side dish going to stay in Germany? Yeah, I'm going to stay in Germany. I'm going to say there's a lot of ways that you can make potatoes taste yummy. There's that yummy word again. But they've got this potato.

How do you call it? Like when they've got the potato, then they mash it like that. And then they fry it. And then it's like, like smashed potato or like a fondant potato, that sort of thing, maybe? Yeah, like it's really, really, really, very good, very tasty. But it's not a fondant potato. It's like a hash potato. Yes, or what they do is they you see, you see, I don't have to speak about these things so strictly. So these words, I don't have them in my mind. So they grate the potato and then they put them like together. Rusty. Yeah, again. But now we're going to have to ask you which one are you picking? I'm taking the rusties, guys. The good ones. Perfect for a schnitzel as well. You could

lay a whole rusty on top. And oh, yeah, it's getting rusty in the schnitzel. You find it nose, aren't you? No one's looking down on you for that. That's such an insight to how you think. Yeah. Better think about what I do just in case anyone looks down on me for it. Yeah, raise Christian. Yeah. Christian until my 20s. Absolutely everything I'm doing, I'm thinking I'm getting looked down on for. I've got to be careful. He's right. Is there a particular place where you've had these potato rusties that was the best and that for your dream meal, you'd want them from that place?

There's a really nice restaurant. It's in the hotel, actually. It's in a hotel close to where I live. Königstein, that's where I live. That's where my dad lived. He lived in Königstein for three years. Really? Yeah, yeah. Really? And he's working in Frankfurt and lived in Königstein for three years. Yeah, that's amazing. You're right. He's right. It's a beautiful, beautiful town. It's so nice. We live there. Are you serious? So there's a Kempinski hotel there and in the Kempinski, there's a nice restaurant and I mean, really, place to go. For the rusties? For the rusties, for the schnitzel, for the salad, for everything.

Oh, wow. So you'd like the schnitzel from there as well for your dream menu? Perfect. Great. Lovely. I've had really nice schnitzel in München or in Vienna. They do some, but that hotel restaurant is very, very, very, very, very accomplished and it's fantastic. Do you want a restaurant called? Sorry. Well, we can find out. We can google it. We can google it. We basically put all the recommendations from the podcast onto the websites of people. If they visit in, you can go there. If you go there in Königstein, it's Kempinski Falkenstein. It's called Falkenstein. Right. And actually, they were filming the crown there. Oh, wow. Yes. So a bit of the crown. So it's really, really good and you overlook

like there's a park and then you can see all of Frankfurt from there up in the mountain. Lovely. Perfect. If you were to pick a location for your dream meal, has there been somewhere that's just had the nicest view that you've been sitting there and regardless of what you've been having to eat, but like the view is like. Amazing. The best. What sticks out to you? Well, you know, because of the dancing, I traveled a lot. I'm thankful for that. There was a little restaurant that I was in at night. It looked fantastic in Mallorca. I don't know how you say it in English. It's in Asia. And they have like these little houses inside the mountain. And at night, you just see like the lamps and you sit in there and the restaurants, everybody's

got a kind of duck to go in. Absolutely. Wow. Beautiful and lovely, lovely food. Those there's a nice view that I will like never forget kind of because Mallorca reminds me a little bit of South Africa, you know, with the ocean and the mountains. And so we went there and it then went dark and beautiful. It's weird how setting changes food though and food changes setting because like that beautiful Mallorca area you're talking about, if you had a schnitzel and rusty, that would that would feel weird, right? Very. Yeah. Because you need that German surrounding, maybe a little bit cold as well and sort of maybe a fire or a lot of wood in the room. And then that feels right. But you can't eat a schnitzel on the beach. No. Like every time I go

to South Africa as well, and they've got like schnitzel somewhere, I'm just like, I cannot. Like I won't. Like I feel like it's the disappointment will be too big. Yeah. Like if I've been to America, if there's like an Indian restaurant, I don't bother going because we've got so many good Indian restaurants around here and I just know it's not going to be as good there. Obviously, if I was in India, that would be different. Yes. But that's the thing also, like we spoke before, like Indian food, because we're so used to the way it tastes here. When I went to India, I was just like, we're doing it wrong. Yeah. Like there's such a such a difference, but I also can't eat it anywhere else. Like, that's how it's got to be. So what would you eat in

America? A burger? There's so much good food in America. Spare ribs. I did eat some spare ribs last time I was in America, and they were so good. It was in Austin, Texas, me and my tour manager after the gig, we've got a place pinned for tacos. We're going to go there for tacos. Everyone says this is the best tacos. We're going to go there. We finish at like half nine. That gives us enough time. We know that the place closes at half 10. We get a cab over, we get there for 10. There's a short line outside the door. And the last person in the line, it's like wearing a sign on their back that there's been put on them that says closed. That apparently this is what the place does is that when they decide they're done,

they go to the last person in the line and they drape a sign over them. On their back, there's a laminated piece of card, a laminated piece of card that says closed. And this customer is now in charge of telling everyone that they're closed now and getting shit from everyone. Everyone who turns up, he's like, I'm just a customer. I don't work here. They put this sign on me. I know I'm having a deal with complex. Well, they shouldn't be closing. I know they shouldn't be. Well, come you're allowed in and I'm not. It'd be amazing if he wasn't allowed in. You got to the door and they were like, look at what you're wearing. See you later. You're the sign.

But instead, we walked back to the hotel from the taco place and said, anywhere that's open, we go there. Sam's barbecue was open. We went in there and we was like, whatever you've got left. And he's like, the ribs are good. Like great, we'll have ribs. They were, you know, we're on dream side dish at the minute. If I was to make a dream menu of that tour that I had in America, they would be my dream side was these ribs. Side? Yeah, I'd have them as the side. Because they were delicious. But I know what my dream menu would be from that. I did do a whole thing with my tour manager when he was like,

let's do an off menu for the tour. So we did that and those were my dream side with those ribs. Do you love that when he went, let's do an off menu? You're like, oh, right. I didn't love it, actually. I wish you could say that I didn't. But I was like, that's a brilliant idea. Also, man, that place did daqueries as well. Take away, take away daqueries. Yes. In a, in a foam cup. Huge. Humongous. Absolutely insane that I drank this. Like they said, do you like booze or sweet? I said, I'd take booze over sweet. They went, yep. And they weren't messing around. No. It was, it was like a whole drum full.

It was fluorescent red and I couldn't stop drinking it. But at the top of the hotel, I was like, man, you'll really have to make sure I wake up tomorrow because I'm going to miss the flight. How did you even sleep? Yeah. So I got so much sugar in me and I'm hammered. I'm going to go and kick someone's door over playing punk music. That's how drunk I am. Everything being in America, everything. Like a glass of wine. I'm just like, is this the glass or is this half of the bottle? Yeah. And with like anything, like any spirits as well. They don't use any measure. They just like free pour everything. So you go and have like

a cocktail or something. And then you realize it's just straight booze all the way up to the top. Great. But it's quite expensive, right? Like it's, it's good. We went out with friends in New York and I didn't know, you know, so we were like eight people there and everybody's ordering and ordering. And I'm thinking, okay, I'm going to spend my money on clothes and shoes and bags. So I'm just going to eat a salad and just have a little cocktail. So and they were eating and we're having fun, whatever. And at the end of the like meal, they're like, okay, we're going to split the bill. Like and like in Germany, they never split. Like 55 cents. Okay, you paid 20 and you yourself was like, oh, okay. The next day we went out, you can imagine what I did. Yeah.

If you could have worn that bag. I thought you were going to say you went clothes shopping with them all and made them split the bill. Yeah, that would have been the send them the bill for the clothes. No, no, no. Also, I love how earlier you mentioned watching Sex of the City. And now you've gone and I went to New York and I was going to go clothes shopping. This is like exactly that lifestyle. Yes, sorry. You got to live your dream. Yeah, I did. I did. And that's that education that's like in the city. Everyone should watch it. Every one male. I've benefited a lot from what you said when it comes to food. Because every time we go to New York. The only guy took that from that. Yeah. Me and Moxie didn't think you were going to say that.

We're like, oh, I learned a lot from Sex of the City. Yes, the food. I go to the bakery. I go to the bakery and get the banana pudding all the time because that's what they eat in Sex of the City. I don't know what YouTube are thinking about. Yeah, life. Your dream drink then, we used to talk about drinks a little bit. I have this wine. I love. Like it's called, I don't know if you guys know it. It's called Chocolate Block from South Africa. South African wine, yeah. It's fantastic. It's really good. I love that. I think I have heard of it. Yeah, try it. Try it. It's just fantastic. I don't know what's happening. It's a very recognizable label. It's like a white label just with chocolate

blood running on it in black. Yes. And it's pretty widely available, right? You can find it. Sometimes with wine like you have an amazing glass of wine and you're like, what's the bottle? Take a picture of it. Yes. And then you go online. There's nothing about it. But Chocolate Block, you can actually buy it. Yeah. Finally, you get it here. And I take, like I used to kind of fly over from South Africa with Chocolate Block. No clothes, but Chocolate Block in the suitcase. But now you find it. So it's really great. Does it live up to its name? Very chocolatey? I wouldn't say chocolatey, but it's got that, you know, chocolate is got a kind of, well, it's rich. It's rich and it feels like you're drinking

velvet. It's a good description of it. It's a big wine. It's a big wine. So if I put red wine in my velvetizer, would it taste like a chocolate block? No. Don't put red wine in your velvetizer. Why didn't I bring the bottle? I shut up. I have one in my room. I think it would be like it's next to the bed. Hi, baby. No, it's Christmas time. I'm hanging them out. Yeah. Well, that could be too early for Christmas. That could be a mulled wine. I could do that in the velvetizer. But the Chocolate Block in, because that's still Texas, it's a hot chocolate velvetizer. If I'm putting Chocolate Block in there, I can plead innocence if I have to take it to the mechanic or get it fixed. To the mechanic? Yeah, yeah. To the chocolate mechanic? Yes.

So if I put the Chocolate Block in there and try and make a little mulled wine, maybe put some cloves in there, a little orange, a little cinnamon, and put it in the velvetizer and see what I come up with there. And if it breaks, I can go to the mechanic and go, sorry, it said chocolate block on it. I thought it was hot chocolate. Yeah, sorry, all the cloves have gummed up the mechanism. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's confusing. Merry Christmas, though. Do you like mulled wine? Mulled wine, the warm wine at Christmas? Yeah, it's called Gluvine. Sorry, Gluvine. You're looking at me like my accent had got in the way there. No, no, no, no, no, no, I love it. I just thought, I was thinking I haven't had an opportunity to

drink it yet and I'm leaving soon and when I'm back, they don't have it anymore. That was just my thought. I love, I love, I love Gluvine. So when you said about northern accents earlier, I was like, I'm not northern. No, no, you caught me. I still have a bad accent. You have something, you have a sort of accent. Yeah, it's disgusting, isn't it? You can tell me it's disgusting if you want to. I'll never say anything like that. I don't mind if you think my voice is disgusting. No, not at all. I know you think it's disgusting once you don't need to say it. No, no, no, no, no, no. Just tell me if it's disgusting. I understand you. That's the main point. And I understand it's disgusting. Yes. But where are you from?

Kettering in Northamptonshire in the middle of the country. I don't know. I'm trying to think now, if any strictly guests have come from near there. No, you're the only person to have come from Kettering that's in the public eye. Yeah, but maybe if there's someone from near there. But I don't think there is really. Gluvine is Muldwine, right? But the Germans do it. Over Christmas. It's mainly over Christmas. So it's a European thing. Yeah, I think so. Because we don't have it in South Africa. Because they have it in Scandinavia as well and call it different things. So my wife's just filmed a show in Finland. And in Finland, they call it Glurgy. Glurgy. Glurgy. But close to Gluvine. Yeah, close to Gluvine.

And then in Denmark, it's glug. But they put like nuts. They can put like slithered almonds in it. And raisins. And raisins. And then pour extra booze in it as well. Like konjac. So good. Yes, I'm with you there. Raisins in the wine. That's weird. Because that's like old wine. Raisins, isn't it? Yeah. It's the old wine. No, no, no. It could have been wine. It's wine that didn't reach its potential. It's like, yes, it's weird, I guess. Because it's wine is like really old grapes. And then raisins are also like old grapes. So they're just like different directions. It's like sliding doors. Yeah, yeah. They look at each other and go, this is what I could have been. And raisins. So they still find themselves bobbing about

in the wine must be very weird. How would you feel, Motsy, if you were a raisin bobbing about in some wine? Well, well, I'd feel at home, no? Thank you for answering that absolutely idiotic question, Motsy. What can I say? We arrive at your dream dessert. Oh, this has been such a difficult day. Let's stick with chocolate. Yeah, let's stick with again, my wording. I will have that. How do you call that chocolate that's not really completely baked? And then you go in and it's nice and chocolate lava cake or chocolate fondant or chocolate fondant. Yeah, it's a great choice with ice cream or maybe some vanilla. I'm thinking because in my head, it's like something else is coming up, but I'll stick to that choice. What was the other thing coming

in your head? It's like creamy. They eat a lot in Spain. Like creme catalan. Yes, yeah, yeah. He's very good with some caramel on top. Yeah, it's a bit like a creme brulee, right? But in Spain, is it a bit orange? Yeah. And then you have caramelised like the sugar on top and then you break it. It's so good. Then you're in paradise. Do you want it that you order the chocolate fondant and your husband orders the creme catalan and you have half each? Yes, yes. And he'll probably order something on top. I love this guy. Joe off. I see why you're so obsessed with him now. If he's ordering two puddings. He does, for real. Don't you dare. We found the line of what will be taken to judge.

Boundaries. That sounds great. If you're splitting the the puds like that, big respect. Yeah, you can do that. You'd have one thing to yourself and then something for the table to split. I would do that, but I would also in the past when I have gone, oh, let's both get different ones and we'll have half because we can't decide. Whatever one I like the best out of the two. I'll order a full one of that again afterwards. So I will do half and half. And then I think I really liked that one. I wish I'd had a full one. Ordered the full one. Last time I did that was in Lisbon and this is something you might like. I had a red wine and chocolate ice cream. That sounds great. And yeah, I think that'd be right up your street,

actually. It was very delicious with this amazing, quite thick homemade wafer biscuit. And it was so good. I just ordered another one straight away. It was like had to. Absolutely obsessed with the first one. I felt that way about the ice cream that you feel about your husband. You know what? It's funny when you speak about it. I don't know what. One thing I left out that I really, really, really love. It's not like I don't know where to place it, but that's truffle. If there's anything truffle anywhere, I'm like, I'll have that. Well, we could put a truffle on the side with like a little grater. And if you feel like it, just you can grate it onto the food. On the potatoes. Oh, there you go.

Yes, onto the rusty truffle. Yes. Moshi just did a dance move, everyone. If I got to see it in real life. Ten. Or for the food. It's a ten. Yes. Love, love, love. What they asked for a joke for a bit of a fun. They asked you to enter strictly one year. I've done it. Yeah, but what they were like, you're not a potential dancer. You're one of the celebs. Listen, I would do it. I keep on saying that every single day. I'll tell you why.

Because every time I go out the stairs, I see all these girls and I see all these celebrities and they get fit, right? They get fit. And for me to be like, okay, come on, we're going to go to the fitness studio or whatever, home training. I'm just like, but if you have to, I'm always like, find a show like that for me. To my manager, find me then, but differently. I do the same thing. I call my manager every day and say, get me cast in a Marvel film. Yeah. All I want is that. And I don't have to be in it. I just want to do the gym bit. Yeah. I don't care if I don't make the edit. Fire me. Fire me just before. I work for it.

Matt, no, I won't say that. Okay. Can't say it. That's a story that we've told to me in confidence. I'm going to read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it. Okay. You would like sparkling water with lemon and ice and some glitter in it. Yes. You'll tell me the story afterwards, right? Yes. I've already told it to you. Pop it up with your bread. You would like bread. You would like a selection of German breads from the bakery, but there was one in particular you said that is your favorite. Folkon bread. Yes. Delicious. Starter, anti-passy to share with your husband. You want a yummy one. Yes. Tomatoes, mozzarella, mushroom, salami, honey melon with the chateau around it.

More bread, sun-dried tomatoes, fried zucchini. Yes. Main course, schnitzel. Yes. Nice and thin. Yes. Side dish, potato rosti with a little bit of a truffle on the side that you can grate on if you feel like it. And that is from the hotel. Falkenstein, Kempinski. And then you want some chocolate block wine and for dessert, a chocolate fondant with ice cream for yourself, creme catalana for your husband. Yes. Half each. And then here, Lord, a surprise one on top of that. Yes. Oh, that's a great menu. I know we stressed you out. Yes, you did. That's a delicious menu. That's so good. You've got to be happy with that. Yeah, that's food, man. What a perfect way to end the podcast. We are changing the name of the podcast. That's food,

man. Definitely a bit of a strap line. Yeah, definitely. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast, Mozzi. Thank you, guys. Thank you. That was the off-menu menu of Mozzi Mavusi. Thank you so much to Mozzi for coming in. That was great. Thank you, Mozzi. Sorry for the burps. Sorry for the burps, Mozzi. My stomach behaved itself, though. Yeah, your stomach was very good. I was burping away. I've got to be thinking about that for a long time. That is mad that she lives where my dad used to live. That's crazy. I didn't think enough of a big deal was made of it at the time. No, I think she thought I was lying. Yeah. She thought I was doing a joke. Yeah, yeah. Which shows her what she thinks the quality of my jokes are. Yeah,

yeah. It's like, that must be what passes for humour here in the UK. Yeah. My dad lived there. Okay, cool. What's next? All right, yeah. A delicious menu. A great menu. A great menu. And you know what? I'd love to eat that menu while reading Find in My Own Rhythm by Mozzi Mavusi. Lovely. And thank you, Mozzi, for not saying the secret ingredient, not saying microwave veg. Not saying microwave veg. No, thank you. Mozzi likes to do things properly. Not a lot of veg made it onto the menu, actually, to be fair. Yeah, actually. There's a bit of salad there. There's a little side salad for the salad. Yeah, with the schnitz. But mainly meat and potatoes. Meat and potatoes for your mates. You know what? Every time I come out of an off menu and think,

I really want this now. And it's pretty much the whole menu. So it must have been good. Must have been good. But the schnitz, the rosti, and then we, she didn't pick Muldwine or Gluvine, but I do really want a Muldwine now. I've not had one yet. We are recording this in a festive season. Yeah. And I very much would like a Muldwine at some point. We talked enough about it for it to be a thing now that you're going to want. I mean, every festive season, everyone finds it. The first time someone mentions a thing to you that you haven't eaten that festive season yet, I've got to have it. I've got to have a mince pie. When someone puts that in your head, you haven't had one yet. And then you have one. And then you go, not for another year, thank you.

Benito, can you make us some Muldwine, please? Yes, and some mince pies with your fair hands. Thank you very much to Motsy for coming on the show. Thank you, Motsy. You're the greatest of judges. We will see you again next week. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Hello, it's me, Amy Gladhill. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato, and our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by... Me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case... Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about

all the news stories that we've missed out from the North, because, look, we're two Northerners, sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off, and that's a new podcast called Northern News. We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glittle's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.