Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 190: Kiell Smith-Bynoe

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

Grab a whisky, for the first time the Off Menu boys are drinking on the job in, with ‘Ghosts’, ‘Stath Lets Flats’ and ‘Taskmaster’ star Kiell Smith-Bynoe. (Can anyone lend me 30p for a Capri Sun?)Kiell is currently in ‘Taskmaster’ on Channel 4.His Channel 4 Blap ‘Red Flag’ is on All 4.Follow Kiell on Twitter @kfRedhot and Instagram @klayzeflaymzRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, opening the packet of humour, smelling the crisps of great times, tearing the packet at the side, and opening it up for everyone to enjoy. Bangerang! That's Ed Gamble. My name is James Ed Caster, and we have a dream restaurant. We're invited to guest him. We're going to ask him their favourite ever start, a main course dessert, side dish, and drink. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is... Kyle Smith Bino! Kyle Smith Bino, a wonderful actor, comedian, writer. He's one of these

polymaths, James, if that's the right word. He's a polymath. Is he a polymath? Is that the right word? Polymath. We're good at multiple things. Polymaths. You can do all that. Yeah, I think. Kyle is a polymath. He is in two of the best recent British sitcoms. Got to be happy with that. To be able to straddle both of those. Ghosts and Stathlett's Flats. Yeah. Pretty good going. He's got his own sketch comedy, Blap, called Red Flag. That's available on all four, I guess. Yeah. He's great fun. He's great fun. We had a little Off Menu meal recently, and Kyle came to it, and it's such a great time. We have to record this. Get this guy on the pod, but get this guy off the pod if he says

anything that is our secret ingredient that we have come up with in advance. Absolutely. And this week, the secret ingredient is... Ghost pepper. ...Ghost pepper, linked, of course, to the fact that Kyle's in Ghosts, but also, I don't want it. I don't want Ghost pepper. No, this isn't a challenge show. It's not like I'll let's show how much heat we can take. It doesn't taste nice, a ghost pepper. It just makes you sick for days. People panic attacks. Yeah. Ed just did a burp. Thinking about the ghost pepper. I did. Ed's got some food at the minute. We have a bit of food before Kyle gets here, and Ed has ordered himself. A fart in the box. Yes. It's just some broccoli. Some

chargrill broccoli. Yeah. Some salad. And then he just added, this was optional, a boiled egg. So he's there with that now. And I've got a block nose from a cold, unfortunately, so I can't smell what you guys must be smelling right now, which is basically like an old man's trousers. Yeah. It's an old man's trousers. The old man's done the belt up real tight, and then he's put belts around his ankles and done those up real tight, so the trousers are completely sealed, and then he's just guffed all day long, and now Ed's ordered it on delivery. And it's got here. And I would imagine it stinks. This is the off-menu menu of Kyle Smith Bidone. You want to join in on that? Just me? No, I was just taken by surprise. Yeah, yeah.

Welcome, Kyle, to the Dream Restaurant. Welcome, Kyle Smith Bidone to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. There we are. Not that it interrupts the person as they start saying thank you. Oh, right. I didn't know if there was more to the intro. I was waiting to interrupt you. I thought it was a double. But then you just looked at me. No, and I like that. You're the first person who's waited for the genie to appear rather

than be interrupted by the genie. Right, okay. And I like that. It felt polite, but also you had a natural air of authority that I appreciated. Yeah, right, man. You looked at me as if to say, and... Because normally people rub a lamp, don't they? But I think if you had a lamp, you'd just sort of look at it until the genie popped out. I'd look at it until someone says, what's that? I'd keep showing people until someone's like, well, you got there.

Oh, it is. And then genie. Have you ever had a lamp? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. What? A genie lamp for a bedside level. Oh, a couple.

Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I did have that I used to love? Do you ever have those USB lamps? No. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. It's like a... It's a lamp, but the end of it is a USB, and you stick it in your computer.

Oh, and it comes on when you put it on the computer. That's good. Absolutely. Yeah, I like that. Nice and them. That's good. And you had one of them? Had one of them. Don't have it anymore. What happens?

What happens? Come on. Well, I don't have... Oh, wait, no. It ran off. That's the best story, though, the real thing. I don't have the port anymore. I think that might come like I used to. Pre-devastating. Oh, yeah, of course.

And you didn't want to get the adapter just for the USB lamp. No, not just for a lamp. People think I'm an idiot. I've got that adapter. Yeah? Yeah, I use it loads. But not for the lamp? Not for the lamp, but if I was given one of those USB lamps,

I could use it. Right, you could, yeah, yeah. It just be... But it's just like, you know, obviously the adapter's got like... It's got flopping around to that adapter. You know, it's not very solid. Oh, the lamp flops around. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Well, it's got two, isn't it? Because it's like, it's got a bend. You know that? Oh, it's bigger than a five. I thought it was just going to be like a little light. And that is it. And I'm going to get the USB. No, no, no, no. It's like a lamp.

You can put it in whatever direction you want. And it flops around. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, it's terrible. It's a terrible present. So where would you... So when you were using it, actually?

Yes. Because I'm trying to think now, you've got a laptop there that's providing the light. You can see the screen. Yeah. What are you illuminating with the... Because if you're in the dark... Yeah.

And then maybe a zoom, for example, zoom wasn't around them, but Skype. Yeah. Yeah. We're in the Skyping. Yeah. You want to show your face as well as the face. Because you're getting a face from the screen,

but not enough. So you put a lamp on. So you're turning on the main light. Big light, yeah. Because you'd be like, what, late night Skype? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for listeners, kind of accidentally punched the table there

when he was doing an impression of the big light and then he pulled his hand down and popped the table. Well, that's what happened to my big light. Fell down on the table. So then I had to get a little lamp. USB one. What's the latest at night you've ever Skyped anyone? Oh, we're talking whatever.

Yeah. Skype specifically, not zoom. Well, which is later? Oh. When you late night zoom in during the pandas. Yeah, boy. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. How late are we talking? We're talking fours, fives. Fours and fives. Who, too? Yeah. You know, quizzes and shit like that. Four in the morning quiz.

Yeah. Who were people in different countries? No. Oh, here. What? Yeah, because you're like your time's, time's. So many quizzes, right?

Wow. Yeah, they go on for ages. The greats, we all had different like. 24 hour quizzes. We all had different experiences in lockdown. Yeah. And I forget that some people just completely went. Yeah, yeah.

So I kept my body clock pretty much the same. Oof. But some people were like, yeah. But some people were like, I'm staying up all night and I'm sleeping all day. Yeah. I forgot that people did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because it's interesting that you said that four or five was the latest Zoom you did. Whereas I would probably see that as the earliest Zoom. Oh, really? So I'd get up for that. I'm not waking up for that. Rather than. Waking up for a Zoom.

Well, I'm not staying up for a 5M quiz, mate. No, I'm not staying up. I was up. I was just up. Yeah. My routine was like. But I would see quizzes as something you schedule in with people.

Yeah. Not an impromptu thing. I mean, I said quizzes. I probably did about four quizzes in the whole, in the entirety of lockdown. Yeah. A lot of it was chance shit. A lot of it was house party.

Oh, you didn't have a house party. Do you remember a house party? Yeah. I think maybe the first two days. And then I was gone. I got annoyed with all the notifications going. This person's on house party, you know. Yeah.

I got told that slow tie I joined and that slow tie came off of it. That was the extent of what I did on house party. And you didn't get to chat in between? No, no. I'm not going to whine now. I've never chatted to him. Yeah, I got his number once when I met him.

And then, yeah, I just got told he's joined it. I was like, cool. And then within the same week, he's not on there anymore. Oh, what? I was like, fair enough. I mean, kind of. Quick tie? Kind of needs to be, yeah.

You can call that kind of quick tie. Oh, I call it quick tie. Yeah. Oh, because of house party. What? Do you remember house party? Would you like food? Do you like food?

I'm very heavily into food. I mean, we can't ask your favourites early doors because obviously we're going to get into that later. That's the podcast. That's the podcast. That would be a very short podcast. Yeah. But like, have you always been a big food fan?

What's the point where? Yeah, I think I have a strange relationship with food in that I can always eat. But I complain about everything. And I'll continue to eat the food that I complain about. Great. Do you ever enjoy it or is there always something wrong? Oh, no, I enjoy it quite often.

But there are things that I don't like that I'll keep trying. Whereas a lot of people just give up with stuff. Yeah. Give us the top example of the things. That was ready to go? Yeah. Or do you have that? Do you want another one?

I want to dig down into the olives thing first. So you don't like olives. Don't like olives. But you always eat olives. I'll always try them on. Is this because you've been told that it's a taste that over time you require? So like maybe this will be the one where I finally get olives.

Like some people do it like Captain Beef Hearts Magic Band. A music reference. I thought it had ended on Beef Hearts and then that was a food. Some people are like that was Captain Beef Hearts. And I was trying to guess really quickly what it was. Yeah, like a brand of Beef Hearts. Like a team of Beef Hearts. Captain Birdside's other stuff.

Captain Birdside's Beef Hearts. This is an evil cousin. I want to like olives because they're always around. He was always putting on those about. They are always putting olives about. Always. Yeah. I'd quite like to be into them.

Yeah. I feel like that about Formula One. Okay. People are always putting it about. Yeah. Not to stop back, not about it. Yeah. You'll probably never have a time in your life where Formula One,

I mean unless like you know. Or Formula One's put in front of me. Unless like people prioritize you know combat and climate change so much that Formula One becomes like out. Yeah. Or we can't do this anymore. We can't excuse it anymore. And it has to be electric cars.

Maybe then Formula One will be out of your life. Right. Yeah. But otherwise it's going to be around for a while, isn't it? For the foreseeable. Yeah. So it's like olives. Like olives.

Yeah. Once, Jamie gave me an olive that I liked. Demetrius. Yeah. We're talking here. Yeah. You're a partner in crime. Big, big boy.

I've had to say. Would you say you're partners in crime? When I see the two of you, I think they're thick as feats. Thick as feats. Really? Yeah, they're partners in crime. Thick as feats. Yeah, that's what I'll see.

Are there any other phrases of two? I feel like I'm more of a sidekick. I feel like I'm more of a sidekick. But like two banditos. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, yeah.

When you see the two of you, are those two like have a shorthand with each other? Oh, yeah. Yeah, true. You know, you seem to like be on the same page. You know, you have to talk sometimes. You both know what the vibe is. Yeah.

And everyone else has got to like go, right. We don't see each other that much in real life, though. Okay. If it's not like a thing. I'd like to. Yeah. But no one ever comes to my house. Really?

It's too far, apparently. That's a shame. Yeah. Not enough olives. And there's no olives. Yeah. You've got to put more olives about. No olives.

No beef hearts. No formula on the TV. Yeah. He's not coming. That's Jamie's idea of a dream after this. Yeah. Knocking olives back, watching the Grand Prix. I feel like I'm more of a sidekick than a partner in crime.

No, no, no, no. Partners. He's not enough of an offer. Really? I feel like I'm a robin to his Batman. He's such a robin. He is a massive robin. Really?

Yeah, he's a robin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. I mean, he's, yeah. No, I was going to say he's Alford, but that's too much. That's too high a position. He's robin. Alford.

If Robin had an Alford, that's Jamie. That's Jamie. Really? Wow, the butler to the sidekick. Yeah, someone's robin's PA. Yeah. What was this olive he gave you that you liked? Big green one.

Yeah, yeah, that's good. You're not all. You're not a guy's. I think I might know the exact ones, you know. Yeah. They're tinned. They're called Pirello olives. Yeah, I had a name like that.

Yeah, I bet Jamie eats those. They're the hip olive to eat these days. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Tash was like, why don't you like olives? What's wrong with you? Idiot. Yeah. That sort of stuff.

Tachymetry. Yes. So that's sort of. Hopefully in all the surnames of people who want to know. Yeah. That sort of, that made me want to like them more. Yeah, yeah. Pay pressure, ain't it?

Bullied into like olives, yeah. She couldn't believe anyone. Yeah, she couldn't believe it. And also like, I think my palate is quite childlike anyway. So I'd like to throw in some adult things. Yeah, sure. You can tell people you're like olives. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you eventually do, if it happens. Yeah. Do you think you won't shut up about it to people? You'll be dropping it into conversation if you like olives. And I can't wait. And then do you think. Or maybe I won't even pop it into conversation. I'll just take some out.

Yeah, yeah. Out your bag. Yeah. Yeah. Out my pocket. Just loose, if you lose olives. On a cocktail stick. Yeah, yeah.

Which weirdly makes you look so not grown up. If you just pulled out. Yeah, yeah. A handful of olives from your pocket. Yeah. Little boy for the marbles. Yeah. Oh, I've got.

Yeah, yeah. And throw them in my mouth like peanuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, really. Exaggerated. Then do you think when you like olives finally, you'll feel like Batman? Yes.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Batman does like olives, right? Not in his costume though. I can't imagine Batman eating an olive. Do you know what? I can't imagine it. No.

Bruce Wayne likes olives. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, I can't imagine Batman eating anything though. Really? Do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean. I do know what you mean. And we haven't ever talked about this on the podcast.

But like, I can't really imagine Batman eating anything. The mask is like. I imagine Batman eating a banana. It definitely is sideways. Yeah, because I guess he's got to eat for energy when he's running around. Yeah, Bola cereal. Imagine that.

All the milk dripping down onto his mask. What I can't imagine though is like a breakfast bar. Yeah, just push it in. Just slot it in. Straight in. But without the wrapper. I can't imagine him eating it. And he's like, I've done the wrapper.

The wrapper's still on it. I can't imagine him eating that. I can't imagine him eating a breakfast bar just. A naked one. Yeah, as it is. One go. Wait, does he have gloves? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't eat anything then. No, it's harder. You can't eat anything with gloves on, man. Yeah, he's not. Batman's not eating an omelet, is he? He's not eating an omelet. He's not eating anything.

There's no fruit. I really can't imagine. Which is weird for a bat. He should be eating fruit all the time upside down. Well, maybe I can imagine him eating stuff upside down. Maybe if he was hanging upside down, I can imagine him eating a big load of fruit. Oh, like one of those bottles with a little tube stick.

Yeah. He's hanging on that. I can imagine him doing a shot standing up right ways. I can imagine him doing a shot but not drinking a pint. Really? Yeah, I know what you mean. Slamming the break in the glass. Yeah.

It's really difficult. It's really hard. I could have just said a baguette. No, but some ways it's a bit more specific. But then people imagine different things when you say some ways. It's like different breads, innit? Yeah.

You know, so I imagine it's been a long time. Oh, Hearty Italian. Yeah. Hearty Italian. Yeah. BMT on Hearty Italian. Yeah, yeah. That's what he's having.

Southwest sauce. Loads of jalapenos. No olives. They do olives in some ways. Yeah. They're little sliced black olives. Sliced? Yeah.

Also, not that not many people know this, but when Batman gets a BMT, it stands for Batman Tasty. It stands for Batman Tasty. Adam West would have eaten some stuff. Adam West, definitely. He would have had a whole ice cream sundae or a big pizza.

Yeah. I'm thinking Christian Bale. Yeah. And I can't imagine that character eating anything in there. No. I'm actually thinking Michael Keon. I mean, that raises an interesting question, actually, isn't it?

Who's playing Batman and can you pitch the meat in anything? And Adam West can pitch a meat in anything. Everything, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have that Batman. Don't take it seriously. Keaton.

Keaton, I can imagine that character eating like a Kit Kat. Yeah. Or something. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Individually, or biting into it like a sandwich. Yeah, biting into it like just having the four fingers and just like just biting into it haphazardly.

Bunch of grapes. Bunch of grapes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Easy. Imagine Ben F like eating a big plate of mash. Bag is a mash or something. And Adam West's back.

Yeah, yeah. Imagine him eating David Lee Duncan's. Like that spot. He's not at all. There's nothing to that, you know. Which is one of his catchphrases as well, wasn't it? Yeah. David Lee Duncan's.

He did even dunk the baddies in the bed. Imagine him eating Lunchables. Put them all together. Ham, cheese, ham, cheese, biscuit. Oh, have you learnt something about you there? Or is that what you think Adam West's back would have? Not you. What else is there?

That's all there is, right? Ham and cheese. Ham, cheese, biscuit. Yeah, but you wouldn't go ham, cheese, ham, cheese, biscuit on top though, would you? Surely you'd start. Do you want to start with biscuit? Nope.

This is a. Top him. This is early or late Skype. I don't want to face sandwich. Still a sparkling water. Still. Sparkling is bullshit. Okay.

Why do you think it's bullshit? Like, what is it? Yeah, yeah. What is it? It's a good question. It's bullshit, man. Where was I then? I was in somewhere quite proper,

and I had to spit it out back into my glass. Right, because you didn't know it was going to be sparkling? No. Because it looked fucking ambushed by. Yeah, yeah. Was it a clear glass? It was not very bubbly. No, I know exactly where it was,

and I arrived late to a dinner, and the guy just said the waiter was just like, water? Oh, yes, please. And then poured it, and I didn't like, watch him pour it so I can see the bubbles. And then I just went to drink it, and I'll. I'm imagining that.

Instantly, as it went into my mouth. How did that happen? Because I'm imagining that happening. So you've arrived late. The guy comes over. He just says for some reason, water and. Oh, the guy works there. But yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's not like another customer. So that's, that's a bit of a maverick move from him. To just say water and then go with sparkling. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's mental. I guess I bought a table hat, right? So you're looking ahead, completely looking ahead, and then the water is poured.

You don't see that. And then you pick it up. Oh, no, no, no. Imagine if I was just looking ahead. But to not to have water poured, and then not look at it, and then lift it up and drink it. No, I was like,

I was talking to the person to my left. Yeah. And then it was poured over my right shoulder. And stinky. Yeah. It feels like a shuffle. Yeah. So as I looked left, he went right, poured it.

Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha. Yeah, drink spit. Spit it out. Yeah. So you've turned up late. Yeah. I turned up late. You're late.

Spat my drink out. You sit down and you spit your water everywhere. When I was disgusted. I'll see you later. It's like, like a film, like King Ralph or something. There's like a person turning up to a fancy thing. It's like, it's sparkling water.

You've got to warn people. Yeah. No, it's bullshit. He said this was Charlotte Richie. Yeah. Yeah. It was, we had a ghost lunch. Right.

Ooh. So it was just you and Charlotte. All the food was dead. As far as everyone else was concerned, it was just you and Charlotte Richie having a meal for two. They wouldn't do it. Why are they eating? Why has it got so much food?

There's really two of them. It's like, I've been talking to them. It's a great picture that you should have got that picture. Get everyone else to leave the table and then say, guys, cast lunch. Put that on Instagram. That would have been incredible. That would have been in Bangor.

Yeah. Ah, man. Next time. I think, who was to my right? I think it was Ben. And they enjoy sparkling water. So he, the guy just assumed that everyone on that corner of the table was drinking the same thing.

Idiot. I got him fired. What did the rest of the ghost cast have for their waters? Was it all sparkling? I, it was quite big. This will save us quite a few bookings, if you can tell us. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Um. You don't have to get everyone on then. I'm going to, I can guess. Do you know what? I can't think of anyone who's as against sparkling water as I. Yeah. You're very, very, very against it.

I guess. I think it's ass. I don't know everyone's proper names. Forgive me. But I guess the scout master. Jim Howick. Only has still water. But are you imagining him in character as the scout master?

Yeah. And this is character in peep show. Yeah. As well. I don't think he will have sparkling water. Yeah. I think maybe, I think you might be right actually. Yeah.

And I think because he was, he's part of the horrible history's crew. Yeah. There's just more kids in it. It's kids, it's kids show. So I'd say not sparkling water. Is that part of being in a kid's show that you don't drink sparkling water? Yeah. Your palette is like.

That was, that was very long ago. That was 12 years ago they did that. He's a man now. Yeah. And he also walked with a kid when he did that. Child star. Any more questions about the ghost cast and what, what's the title of the movie? Well, I imagine the guy who's,

goes around in his pants is a sparkling guy. Simon. Simon Farnaby. Yes. Yeah. Um, I can't actually remember. But he's, I think he's, he's like a different level. He probably drinks like, he just, just has the eyes.

Yeah. Lolli's already been on the pod. What did she say? She's sparkling it. We can check. I'm going to say sparkling for Lolli. If I know Lolli, the way I think I do, I'm going to say sparkling. Katie Wick.

So I imagine he's baffled by the concept of water. The character. No, the Katie. Yeah. What the hell? Maybe I don't know her at all. Yeah. Yeah.

To be honest, I've never acted with a girl. So, never been in a scene with her. Never been in a scene with her. It's all the same. My idea. Poppado's on bread. Poppado's on bread, Kyle. Poppado's on bread.

Fred, I also think Poppado was a bullshit. Poppadoms and Pryong Crackers. What? It's nothing. It's, it's solid air. It's solid air. Wow. This is, but this is sort of a opinion I appreciate.

That's a good album, solid air. Like Pryong Crackers, I prefer. I know that's not what you asked. John Martin album, that's what. What Pryong Crackers, I prefer. I prefer Pryong Crackers, but I think those and Poppadoms are both solid air. Also, this meal did, when you were late, did someone put down Poppadoms and you thought they were bread?

You had to spit them all back onto the tray. So hard to spit out. Mouth into each eye. Have some water. Have some water. Have some water. Have some water. Have some water.

Everyone. Everyone drenched. Have enough to walk away. The guy in his pants is looking stupid. In your mind, he's in his pants at the table. Yeah, he's in his pants at the table. Yeah, of course he is. The caveman making a fool of himself.

Hey, yeah, I can't get on board with Poppadoms, man. Like, what's the point? Not even with the dips or anything like that. No, no, rubbish. Pryong Crackers, Thai Pryong Crackers. Yes. I can almost get on board with. The brown ones.

Yes. Delicious. What speed do you want your Thai Pryong Crackers? Immediately. So fast. So fast. All right, OK. Slow, slow, Thai.

That is nice. That is nice. I mean, listen. I didn't know where I was going, but I was hoping I could. I appreciate this. But Ed has a stinking cold today. He's not feeling it 100%. And the fact he managed to do that.

Most comics in the game, if they were fighting Fet 100%, wouldn't have been able to put that together. Amazing. Thai Pryong Crackers. When I eventually got it, I thought it was beautiful. Thank you. When I did that joke originally, this slow Thai quick Thai joke, I put a little sticker on it in my mind,

and I thought Thai food might come up. And I'll do that joke. Bye, Pryong Crackers. That is a little tip for any new comics listening. Put a sticker on it. Put a sticker on it. Because you never know. Yeah.

Don't just rely on lady luck to help you out. You better put a sticker on it. You better get that sticker book ready. I'm glad you bought up the Thai crackers because Thai Pryong Crackers, because I think they're delicious. They are great. The first time I had them,

I literally started just texting people that I knew to tell them how great these crackers were, because I couldn't believe. And I discovered that actually, most people know about Thai Pryong Crackers. But I was like, holy shit, you've got to go to... I was in Tao Tao Ju. I was like, you've got to go to Tao Tao Ju.

The crackers here are fucking off the chain. They're amazing. And then everyone was like, we've had those before. You can get them at a lot of places. And I was like, well, I thought it was just... I thought this was a special Thai. No, man, that's...

But you also... The reason I mentioned them is because I think Chinese Pryong Crackers are fucking stupid. Right. A lot of people like them. What is that, man? Why don't you like them?

Come on. Let's put a star in. Okay. Have you seen them being made when they're like tiny and then they deep fry them and they puff up massive? No, I haven't.

It's pretty impressive. I've seen that. I would watch them. First hand. I've done it. You've done it? When I worked in the kitchen, yeah. Really?

I can't put them in the thing. And you can't believe it when they hand them to you. These can't be the Pryong Crackers. Little tiny translucent discs. It's like the bit in Back to the Future 2 when they make the pizza, isn't it? It is like that. Translucent discs.

Yeah, it's a little translucent disc. If someone gave that to you and you guess what that is? Pogs. Yeah. You might guess it's a pog. I have to see it. I must see it.

Yeah. I bet you could watch it like, I bet there's some ASMR videos on YouTube. I want to see what these translucent discs look like. Pryong Crackers being fried. Well, I like it. Do you think I'm going to like this? Yeah, I think you'll like it.

I think you'll like it. The visual. Yeah, you'll like the visual. But do you think it's going to change your attitudes to Pryong Crackers if you like the visual? No. When you see the...

It's like watching a... Wait. What's it called? When they film like a street and then they speed it up throughout the day. Time-lapse. Yeah. It's like watching that

because it happens so quickly. It's like watching a flower bloom in time when it's being filmed. Time-lapse. Yeah. So it's like the entirety of spring. Benita's watching it. How long does it take?

Seconds. Oh, literally. Before your very eyes. That's even more reason for me not to get on board with it. Do you think I trust that? That's more of an argument to what is it? Yeah.

Well, that's your argument a lot at the moment. What is it? Yeah. Well, I guess they're the same thing, Pryong Crackers and Swagman Water. Yeah, go on. That's it. Hate it.

Hate him. You hate him. No, I don't hate... Well, no, I don't hate them. Hate poppadooms. You hate poppadooms. I mean, I've never had anyone who hates poppadooms before. No, that's just...

Hello. I never had anyone who would say solid air about them either. No. They got flavour to them. Do you like crisps? Yeah. Okay, so what...

Poppadooms like... They're flavours, though, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like... There's no plain crisps. Oh, right. Well, that's a big shout. I mean, that's literally the flavour, isn't it?

No. What's a plain crisp? Really solid? Yeah, that's plain. That's plain. No, that's not plain. It's because it's salt flavour. Yeah.

Have you ever had salt and shake? Is that the one you get in a sachet? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I used to love them shits, man. You used to buy multi-packs for like 50p. Yeah. Yeah. You ever tried just eating the crisps on its side before

putting the salt in? But hold on. Actually, that's blind my mind. Yeah. That you weren't even curious. No. You never thought, I want to try one just before,

just to see what it's like. No, because I know it's going to be nothing. No, but you don't. I mean, but first of all, I had a salt and shake. I was like, well, I've got to try one. Yeah. I was just excited to shake it. I've got to add a neg...

Okay, look, we were all excited to shake it, but like... But for some... Somehow you had the discipline to be like, no. What's the discipline? It was curiosity on the little curious cat. I'd say it's more disciplined to not taste them. Yeah.

To go, no, I'm here to salt and shake. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. I'd do all the admin immediately. Yeah. I was like, I want to try it, see what it's like on its side. Now, you said you were excited to shake. Did you have a special style, or was it just...

It was just probably the regular. Yeah. What's the regular? Yeah. What's the regular? Throw them into the garden. Let the cats fight over them. Break up the cats.

Get a bag back. Yeah. That's probably shaken now. I hate cats. Well, so I don't know why they came to me first. Yeah, what are they? What even are they? Just take out, rip the packet a little bit, put it in there, shake it about.

But when you say shake it about, are you grabbing the two top corners and spinning it around? No. My hand on the opening. Like you're just gripping it. Yeah, like a paper bag. Like you're grabbing someone by the scruff of the neck. Yeah.

And then you just shake it. Like you're trying to get information out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I'm trying to get pocket money to fall out. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, bread. Anyway, bread. Any particular type of bread?

Favorite bread is hard-o bread. Huh? You've had hard-o bread? No. No. You've got to get into that, man. Jamaican hard-o bread. It's fucking hard, man.

It's like... It looks like a big sponge. Yeah. Feels like a brick. Wow. It's hard. So that's weird if you see it and you think it's going to be soft and spongy.

Yeah. Is it like a loofah? Because that looks like a sponge, but it's actually quite hard. Yes. Yeah. But it's not. They're the only two things I think that can be said about.

So far. So far. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's over. Yeah. There might be other things that look like a sponge, but hard as a brick. But...

So far, yeah. Yeah, one day, something. Now, Kyle's saying so far. Yeah. You're acting like he said so far. Yes, that's what I thought. Yeah. I'm glad you're there to...

Because I didn't even realise that you had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. So you're saying the sofa looks like a sponge, but as hard as a brick. Yeah. Okay, I thought you meant... Not all of them.

I thought when I said... Yeah, I know. ...there's nothing else. I know everything that's gone on here. There's nothing else that looks like a sponge, but as hard as a brick. I thought you, to correct me, went so far. I was like, sure.

You've always had... I mean, I thought... Yeah. Bit pedantic. That goes about the same. But yeah, so far, there's nothing. Crushed velvet so far. Also, I can't think of any examples at the minute

of things that look like a sponge, but hard as a brick, but I'm putting a sticker on it, and later on I'm going to try and... Great. ...if anything comes up. How hard is it? It's not that hard,

but it's hard if you're expecting normal bread. Right, okay. It comes often not sliced, so you've got to slice it yourself. Yeah. If you want it in big bread, nice. Yeah. I don't want to say it's sweet,

but there's definitely a flavor. I can't explain what the flavor is. Flavors may be like it's got butter on it already. Right. Okay, nice. I don't know how else to describe it. Are you having it just by itself? Are you using it for sandwiches,

or because it's hard, are you using it to dip? Is it a dip in bread? It can be a dip in bread, but usually just that and butter is sorted. Yeah. And if you're having a struggle meal, growing up having a struggle meal,

mom's not in, and there's nothing in the house, you find a can of corned beef, but a hard-o bread is salty. Yeah. Maybe some hot pepper sauce. That sounds good, actually. It's a dream,

but it's used quite a lot in breakfasts, Jamaican breakfasts. So you might have it with ackee and saltfish, plantain, that sort of stuff. First time we've had hard-o bread. Also, I don't think a sofa looks like a sponge, and I don't think it's hard as a brick.

Come on. I'll crush the other side, Brad. If anything, I want a sofa that looks like a brick and soft as a sponge. That's what I want. I want nice hard edges. Yeah. And then you sit into it and it feels like a sponge.

I think I'm often duped by sofas that look soft and they're not. Right. I know what you mean. It looks like it's because of the velvet, I think. It looks like it's going to be soft. Then you sit on it and it's more spring than...

Yeah. More spring than cushion. But also, I don't want to get like, oh, I'm an actor about it. But have you ever been in those trailers with the luminous green sofa? No. It's like a new one.

I've only seen them in the last three years and you go in there and they're like, oh, jump on it, broken back. Medic. They're like, someone jumped on the CGI sofa again. It's not your trailer coming out. That's a bench. It's a pot bench.

Sorry, Dad. We've got to use that later. He's accidentally sat on the Scoutmasters lap. My sofa at home is a piece of shit. Is it? Yeah. And I'll say that now. Here.

I don't give a shit. I'll say it now. I'll say it now. Four in the morning, sitting on that sofa in the dark. It is hard. And we got the place fully furnished and we're renting. So you can't get rid of it. I mean, I want to, I really badly want to get rid of it.

But what do we do with it? You know? Sorry about that, man. I am too. But whatever. Do you still sit on it or do you sort of? I sit on it, but like, I'm not happy when I do it. I sit on it, we're like, oh, I'll sit down.

Yeah. And then I sit and I'm like, I'd be, I'd be more comfortable on another sofa. I whisper that into the, into the pillows. The pillows you trust, eh? Yeah. Yeah. They're good guys.

With your secrets. Are you not worried that the pillows are friends with the sofa? No, they're not. Definitely not. Do they not come together? Oh, if you see the, mate, I put the pillow on the sofa, turn around, turn back. They're gone.

They got, they got somewhere else. Have a side of the room. In the sink. In the kitchen sink. Your dream starter. Okay. So I love calamari. I think the best calamari out there has got to be basaba. Yes.

I don't think that's been topped yet. I would agree. But also I like the new versions of stuff that people like, you know, there's all these fusions like dynamite, calamari and. I don't know. What's this dynamite calamari? It's like, no, bang bang shrimp.

Uh, bang bang shrimp is like, I was just about to use another version of that to describe it. Popcorn shrimp. Popcorn shrimp. Yeah. Well, I do know popcorn shrimp. So how does popcorn shrimp relate to bang bang shrimp? And how does bang bang shrimp relate to dynamite calamari?

Bang bang shrimp, like bang bang cauliflower. What is bang bang cauliflower? Uh, it's kind of like popcorn cauliflower. Um, hang on, what am I thinking about? Dynamite shrimp comes in a cocktail glass. No, no, no, sorry, sorry. Hang on. Dynamite calamari.

P.F. Changs. What? Sorry, I've made this too complicated. P.F. Changs. The American Asian fusion restaurant. Yes. Yes. They do a dynamite shrimp.

Right. And it comes in a cocktail glass, a big cocktail glass. And it's shrimp in a sauce that's like, it's sort of creamy, but it's like, it's almost like it's been put in perinates. Okay. It's like a spicy mayo sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like with some fumes, it's like,

it's like a spicy mayo sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like with some fire spice in it. Uh-huh. It's like that kind of vibe, but it's so nice. Yeah. And I've tried to make it myself and I can't. Right.

Ruined it. Yeah. And that, I think, is the closest competitor to Basaba's calamari. Yeah. Also, Basaba's calamari, obviously the full title is Thai calamari. So we've got to ask. Oh, yeah. What speed do you want in Thai calamari?

Dynamite bang bang, fast. Fast. Fast, aye. Fast, aye. But then you said, so you said dynamite shrimp then. Yes. The dynamite calamari earlier. I think dynamite is the.

Was not a thing. The sauce. But have you had dynamite calamari? Oh, yes. Sorry. Yes, I have. Yeah. And it wasn't very nice.

Right. But I think. But dynamite shrimp. Dynamite shrimp. Versus the Thai calamari from. Yeah. From Basaba. Basaba.

Yeah. So you're down to those two. Yeah. But then you, then you get people going like, lollipop chicken. Right. And I'm like. Lollipop chicken.

Yeah. Do you mean that's what she had at the meal? Lollipop chicken in and out. Lollipop chicken. Stout master wolf tacos. You know, there's all these f*****g fusion things that people are coming out with. Like the other day I had pork bonbons. Yeah.

That sort of thing, you know? Like. Yeah. Feels a bit made up. Also can get on board. Like it. The little, almost like little sort of, they're almost like party food really, isn't it?

Yeah. Like a lot of skewers and a lot of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot of that. But I think. I think the Basaba calamari is the best calamari I've had. And after that, if we're in that, within that region of calamari shrimp, bits you get at E, C. I'd go bang bang shrimp.

Or dynamite shrimp, depending on where you're from. Do you want a sort of big glass? Do you want a massive glass? What a huge glass. I'll tell you something that might, let's see if this influences your decision one way or another. Yeah. Edgar Wright came on the podcast, a live version that we did.

And he chose, as his starter or his side, I can't remember which. Starter, I think. The Basaba ticalamari. Are you the kind of person who, if you're at a meal with people and they get the same thing, you don't want to have the same thing as someone else? Big style. Yeah.

Yeah. So hearing that someone else has ordered the Basaba. Hang on, sorry. I've got, I've got to admit something. Yeah. Because I meant. He directed. I met Edgar Wright at The Enemies.

And for some reason, my friend Michael, who was in Last Minute. And so I was called last. Last night. Last night. Yeah, last minute. Very chocolate. Um, he introduced us. But then I asked him his name.

Even though I knew. Sure. I was like, that's Edgar Wright. And he's introduced me to Edgar Wright. And then I was like, yeah, I'm Kyle, what's your name? Yeah. And then he was, and I think like even. That's all right though.

Yeah. But I found, I was, I was overthinking it. Because I was like, why have I done that? I know. And I've never done that before. It's not like I'm not very awkward in scenarios like that. Or it's all really. But like that sort of thing.

I was like, what have I done there? Can't stop thinking about that. But when you said Edgar Wright just now, I was thinking about that. Wasn't listening to you. Yeah. Okay. So he.

You're thinking, I wish I hadn't said what's your name. So this might be an opportunity actually. So if Edgar's listening to this. Who? Great. Do you, do you want to pick the same thing as him? To show that, you know, you guys actually would get. I watch his films.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's famous because he always puts a, one shot of the Basaba, Taika and Mari in all of his films. Taika and Mari trilogy. Everyone knows about that.

Everyone knows about that one. Do you want anything from the shot? Taika and Mari from Basaba. Which shot are you going to? Basaba. I don't want to get, I don't want to get the same as someone else. And on a date, especially that pisses me off.

It's already. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I've got one friend, Hassan, who will always say, what are you getting? And I don't want to tell him. No. Don't tell Hassan where you're going.

I don't want him to know. Why? Because he'll just say, yeah, I'll just get that. Oh, he copies you. He's not asking him to get the same thing. He's going to get the same thing as you. He doesn't even have to look at the menu. He'll just say, what are you getting?

And then get the same thing. No, no, no, I'm not having that. And it's because he gets food envy, this guy? No, it's not even that. He's just like... He can't be bothered to choose. He's like, he can't be bothered to look at the menu. Yeah, no, that's unacceptable.

Awful. Idiot. Yeah, I don't like him. I will. Yes, I'll often try and get something different. I'd do the same. No, I completely agree with that. Yeah, Ed hates it.

Yeah. If you go out for a meal and he doesn't know what you're getting, and when they come along to the order, if the person comes to you before, asks for your order, and you say what Ed was planning on getting. Oh! He then is in a state of turmoil.

I am with you. Yeah, I'm so thrown by that. Yeah. Unless it's a big table. If it's a big table, I'd say he struggles. Really? What do you mean by eight people? He's like, God damn it.

I suppose it depends how much is on the menu, right? If there's eight people, you know. But then if there's eight people and eight dishes, Ed's going to be costing his fingers that everyone gets a different one. Or I'll deliberately settle on the weirdest thing that I think no one's going to get, and then convince myself I want that.

So I was out for a family lunch the other day. And on the starters menu was a chilled Persian yoghurt soup. And I was like, right, I'll just get that, because no one else is going to pick that. Yeah. I wasn't good? No, because in the end, they got round the table

and no one had picked the confit duck wings. Wow! Bang! Straight in there, confit duck wings. What world are we living in? People aren't choosing the confit duck wings. What else was on there? Just some like, I don't know,

it's a matcrawl or something. Yeah, I was just like... I like the sound of the soup as well. I like the sound of the special soup. Yeah, the sound of the special soup. Yeah. Duck wings. Duck wings.

So good. Likely, obviously, duck wings are holding one at a time. I don't think I've ever seen that on a menu. Duck wings. I've only seen it twice. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of my rules.

Not all rules. It's one of my rules. Yeah, yeah. If I see duck on a menu, I'll get it. Yeah. That's a good rule. That's a good rule. Yeah.

But so, is this mean, because you don't like getting the same thing as people, you're going dynamite shrimp? Yeah. Because... Yeah. Edgar Wright sitting there with his Thai calamari. Exactly.

And I just have a bit of his. And you've already... And I'm like, you don't know me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll have a bit of that. Who are you? I think you'd say... Oh, right, mate.

I don't know you. That's what you'd actually say to Edgar Wright. Well, that sounds great. Yeah. I mean, yeah. And obviously, every time someone says dynamite, because I think of Ms. Dynamite and saying dynamite. Yeah.

I'm mad at you. I didn't mean her. Okay. We're going to go into, but then you've always... Big roller coaster. I was in a show and she was in the audience. And then someone pointed out... Someone in the show pointed out that she was in the audience.

Yeah. And then you were like... And then I spoke to her from the stage. You just went... I just went, hey, I'm Ms. Dynamite. Yeah. What show is this that you are in?

Hamlet. Ms. Dynamite, the audience. Ms. Dynamite's in? Lady Dynamite. I'd love it if they did... Like, they used to do online at the Apollo where there were celebrities in, if they did some Shakespeare productions like that.

That would be brilliant. We've got Ms. Dynamite here. Toughers. I was doing the latest show, Moguligan's show. Right, okay. And she was on the second row. Yeah. And I spotted her and I was like,

and I was just doing... There's a point where I noticed her and then I was just thinking about that for about 20 minutes until DJ Spoonie, who was a musical guest, pointed out that he had some garage friends in the audience. Yeah. And I was like, finally someone said it.

Yeah. And then I was like, I'm so glad you brought it up because 20 minutes ago, I was like, that's Ms. Dynamite and I haven't thought about anything else since... And then I told her that when I was younger, I used to read the back of her album cover and then go into school and pretend that her lyrics were mine.

Wow. You used to rip off Ms. Dynamite. Hold on, hold on. So you go to school and say, I'll put in a song and then tell them the lyrics. Yeah. Or you would like... It's the first lyric.

I'd do it. Ms. Dynamite, he. Ms. Dynamite, you know, they called me Dynamite. Hey, Alex, this is a massive hit. We all know it. Yeah, that's all. I wouldn't do the big ones. I'd do like track six.

Track six, yeah. Going to do that. But you would go into what? Just perform it to people? Yeah, because in the playground, everyone would be spitting bars at some point at lunch and then I'd just come in with something. Maybe like four bars of my own.

16 of Ms. Dynamite, end with another four of my own. Nobody's noticed. Well, I wasn't there, but I imagine people could see the joins. Yeah. I imagine there was a vast shift between you as a school kid into professional musician Ms. Dynamite's lyrics.

Hey, that was good, man. Yeah. Suddenly your name changes in your lyrics halfway through. He was rapping about hanging olives and then he just started rapping about being a female MC. Have we got a calling Ms. Dynamite now? So I told her. I confessed.

Yeah. Yeah. And that was a nice moment. Did she say it was okay? No, she didn't say anything. It was like that was the punchline and everyone laughed and they're like, so, Kerry Godlemann, what have you been up to?

Yeah. Really funny reveal that Kerry Godlemann was there as well. Yeah. Always funny. DJ Spoon, you might get a look at you and then talk to Ms. Dynamite. Kerry's just sat in the course. Kerry there.

Dream main course. This is tough. You know that. You know that. Oh, yeah, it is so tough. You know it. Also, I'm hoping someone else has ordered it on the podcast before because I know now

that's going to be an issue. Can I just tell you a few things that I like first? Yes. Yeah. Honorable mentions. I think of myself as quite a snob. Food and drink wise. And not much else.

Maybe clubs as well. Yeah. Clubs? Yeah, I hate a shit club. Like people got their shoes off. You know, like... Because we're talking about food, I didn't see before about the chocolate bar.

Oh, I hate that as well. Yeah, shit clubs. Yeah, I thought the mint ones or the fruit and nut ones. Actually, the raisin. I could get on board with raisin, but they don't do that anymore, do they? They're not. Raisin loves the raisin.

I love the raisin club. And the... I love the mint one. Same taste profile, the Yorkie Biscuit and Raisin. Yeah, I like Yorkie Biscuit and Raisin. Have I had that? Have you not? No.

You'd love that. If you missed the raisin... I don't think I've ever had a Yorkie. Well, the advertising campaign was off putting. Yeah. And I was pretending to be Miss Dynamite. So I... Yeah.

Yeah, well, that's my sock. I can't hear that. He's kind of eating a Yorkie. They're not for girls. That doesn't... That doesn't level up with his bars. Hold on a second. He should be spitting that bar.

Oh, yes! Brilliant. Wow! You said he's not feeling well. Wow! I don't believe you. I want the best form of my life. My God!

Just letting them listen to the noise, but it hasn't edited out any silences there or pauses. That was in real time. If I know Benito, he's going to edit it in a massive signage. Put in a silence. And he'll get other times that Eddie said to look um. In the past podcast and just put Ed going um. Should we be spitting that bar?

Should we be... Yeah, we speed that way up as well. It'll be better bar! I think the one you mentioned, Mint Club... I like the Mint Club. Bullshit. Okay. I think any flavor chocolate is dumb.

Okay. Okay. Chocolate orange, hey? Horrible. Yeah. Mint's worse. Yeah. Interesting.

I saw, I, so, I don't agree with you, but I know where you're coming from with it. Slip that under the mat. I know where you're coming from, but I don't agree with you. But I do. Right, right, okay. I do understand,

because I know a few people with that orange chocolate really don't like it. I think it's stupid. So tell me chocolate orange you would like for, then? Horrid. Yeah. Horrible idea

to have a chocolate in the shape of an orange as well. Yeah. That's sacrilege. Nonsense. Did a way to trick you with one once. Orange. Yes, Rhys. Oh, yeah, I don't know.

Hang on a minute. That's a place. Did not even look at it. So how do you do the same to just your pants? Ah! What was the question? You said you have quite a food snob. Oh, main course, yeah.

Yeah. Food drinking clubs, you're a snobber. Yeah, yeah, yeah. However, love a spag ball. Yeah. And sometimes don't mind what it's from. I'll take a weatherspin and spag ball. Okay.

That's the biggest shift from I'm quite a food snob. I think that's such, yeah. But that's great. But I would have a weatherspin and spag ball. That being said, the Devere Hotel in West Horsley in Surrey did the worst spag ball I've ever had. I'll tell you what,

not enough guests fully name check a place to then absolutely dump on it. Also, what was wonderful about that is you built up to it like you're about to say you loved it. So Benita started writing it down and then you said it's the worst one ever and you just had to scribble it out. Yeah, because we link every single restaurant

that's mentioned on the podcast, on our website. Right, right, right. And I don't think we've ever had anyone specifically shout out a place and say shit. So I was just naming it. Yeah, writes it down. You have to hyperlink it later. I'll put it on the website.

Worst spag ball I've ever had. Forget it. What was so bad about it? I genuinely, and I remember saying this at the time, I turned to Katie Wicks and I said, this tastes like a bicycle seat. It had all of the qualities of a bicycle seat. Do you only eat with members of the Coast Guard?

Naked bike ride. No, but the reason we're at that hotel is because we were filming. So it's haunted. Yeah. It was like, delivery doesn't go there. Right. There's like six restaurants on Justi

and one of them you have to order 24 hours in advance. So I was like, I'll just see what they've got at the bar. And it was a Sunday night, the restaurant had closed. The bar were like, yeah, we're just doing these few bits. I was like, oh, spag ball. The go-to is a pizza or a burger. And I was like, oh no, the spag ball. Yeah, have a spag ball.

Horrid. Horrid. So it sounds like a bike seat. Was there anything else that you didn't like? Where did they fall down here? The sauce. Sauce is horrible. The spaghetti was like, there's al dente in

and there's just like, you didn't really bother. Yeah. It's sort of the two main bits really. It's like raw spaghetti. The bowl. Yeah. All of it. The bowl.

The spag and the bowl. The spag and the bowl. Yeah. Terrible, hated it. But do you know, that's not their primary, that's not what they're designed for. Yeah. It's a hotel, you know?

You're giving them money for it. So, good on your first calling them out. Yeah. I'll say. And I hope Mr. Devere here is this. I'll be here, is it? Sat at home, chewing on a bike seat, listen to this. But it's not so...

I like it. Yeah. Yum, yum, yum. Not spag ball. So, I think, are you just listing things that you like first before you get into your actual story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do like...

Do you want to shout out spag ball for the listener? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because what I'm about to say is the other end of... Right. The food. You want to show that you're down to earth as well. Before you say that. Let people know that my feet are still on the floor, man.

Duck and Dolphin Noir. Oh, yeah. Duck Dolphin Noir, Honey Rose Carrots. Yeah. Cut the parsnips if it's going. If not, don't mind. Duck and Dolphin Noir, I can't ignore that on a menu. Well, you said earlier, you said,

if duck's on a menu, you're having it, so, yeah. But that is, like, if it had all of my favorite foods, I would pick that every time. Right. Yeah. How do you want the duck cooked? Is it, like, a duck breast or... Duck leg.

Duck leg. Yeah. And, like, cooked for, like, confit, like, yeah. Jack D ordered that. With a Dolphin Noir. Joe, what? Jack D definitely had a confit duck leg. And now I'm thinking he had Dolphin World Potatoes,

but, like, maybe he didn't. But I know he definitely had the confit duck leg. Yeah, not nice. Oh, what's that one? Different types of potatoes, but... I know he'd order potato chips. I don't think they're cheesy. I'm quite pleased with that.

I'm not sure, maybe. So how do you feel about that? Is it okay that you've got the same protein as Jack D? Or are you worried now? Is it going to have to be the... No, it's okay, because it's not the same meal. Yeah, it's not the same meal at all. It's not the same meal.

A confit duck is such a good choice, I think. And a honey roast veg is, like, what's the point in having any other veg? You know? Really? Yeah. I'm not into honey roast as much. Really?

Yeah, I love roast veg and I love, like... Do you like sweet? I do like sweet, but for dessert. Sure. And I think, yeah, I don't always love it when, like, it pops up in my vegetables. I want them to be, like, quite savoury. Yeah.

Right. Like, you know, things being in amongst them. And I'd have to have them on. What are you thinking about? I don't mind a honey roast veg, but I'd happily take just normal roast veg because I think that brings out the natural sweetness, especially with a carrot.

Right, sure. Yeah, that's a sweet thing anyway. Yeah. But, you know, I'm not going to sniff it if it's anywhere near my duck. I had confit duck in probably one of the best restaurants I've been to, which was in... No, I think it was Piglet of the Pen again.

I mean, you know, it's, you know, like, one of the best restaurants I've been to, fully name it. Yeah. It was really great for a piece of shit restaurant that I'll never go to ever again. It was a different branch of the Devereh Hotel. It was. Devereh Hotel.

Chapito Amesa in Lisbon. Right. And it was in a castle. This is... I think Chapito might mean castle. This is hard for me to hear because I went to Lisbon for the first time this year. And I didn't go to this place at your same,

which is one of the best restaurants you've ever been to. Well, I don't know if it's still... I mean, this was 2013, or maybe 2014. Is it still there? It's still there. I mean, it's amazing city for food. Does Chapito mean castle? Have I made that up?

I'm guessing that it means castle on the sea. OK. Chapito Amesa. Mesa, I think. Amazing chips. That's how I processed it. I was like, what's called amazing chips? Yeah, the Dauphin was at Amazing Chips. I'm mad.

Sorry, I had duck, but I had it with mash. Uh-huh. Well, that's in my top five, I'd guess. Five meals. Meals, yeah, well, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Two of my top five were in Lisbon. Great.

Yeah. Where was the other one? Tulum. No, not Tulum, Cancun. Uh-huh. That was recently. South and Tuff, best South and Tuff I've ever had. We saw you just after you got back from Mexico.

Oh, yeah, you saw me that day. And then came for a meal with us. Yeah, you did. Yeah, which was commitment. Well, you know, you've got a... I mean, I'm not saying this because I didn't... I wanted to come. First of all, I wanted to come.

But secondly, if something's going on on a day that you get back from a holiday and you know you've got to regulate that sleeping pattern, you've got to go to that thing. Ah, OK, so we were more of a sort of... Oh, no. A sleeping pattern. No, not at all.

I was very happy to be invited, surprised and happy. And also, the food was fucking great. Yeah, it was really nice. Really nice. Cafe Murano, Angela Hartner. Yeah, great. It was really good. Yeah. They didn't give me the last drink I ordered, but whatever.

Oh. No, no, no, it's fine. Scrub up, scrub up the name, buddy. Scrub up, scrub up the name. We're not shouting that name. No, the food was great. And the rum old-fashioned's greater. Yeah, the rum old-fashioned.

Yeah. And I've never seen anyone order that before. I was going to bring it up in the drink section because I've never seen anyone order a rum old-fashioned before. I don't know where I got it from, actually. I feel like maybe I had an old-fashioned that was quite sweet anyway. Yeah.

And then I complimented it. And someone was like, you should try a rum. And I was like, love rum. Get in. Yeah. But yeah, surf and turf. That surf and turf I had in Taboo, in Cancun. Wow. What was the surf and what was the turf?

Lobster. Yeah. Full lobster. Wow. A whole lobster. That's good. And a whole Mexican lobster. Yeah.

Massive. Are they massive? Too big. And beef fillet. Now, I didn't look at the price when I ordered it. Yeah. Distracted by someone again. I was checking with someone else.

Actually was. Do you research cavemen before you order? Do you think I take the castle castle holiday? Yeah. Yeah. That's who you were in the Lisbon Castle, in my mind. Always. Yeah, yeah.

I was a ghost of it there, knocking about. Yeah, me and the captain. Yeah. I should have checked the price. But it tasted good enough. It did. Yeah. It did.

And it's the best surf and turf I've had. Yeah. Best lobster and best steak and then best surf and turf. Wow. Yeah. 300 US dollars. Way. Whoa.

Spicy. Yeah. That's a, sell your return, take it home. Yeah. Worth it or worth it? I don't know. Can it be worth it at that price? That's lots of money.

I think if you're talking best certain dish you've ever had and you're in a position where you can afford it, then congrats. Yeah. I wouldn't do it often. You know, whenever I watch ghosts, I think this isn't small money. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I mean, what's in the American one? I know that. That coin in it. Oh boy. Yeah. No, no, no. They just have to be really nice. I mean, the food was great.

But yeah, I'm sticking with my original main course. And it's not for me specific place. You know, we do have it from Amazing Chips. You know the duck from Amazing Chips if you want. Yeah. If you want, we can give you the duck from Amazing Chips and put it with a Dauphin was and a Honey Roast Veg from Anywhere.

Not this time round. Not this time. Next time? Next time. So your dream side, is that Dauphin was? Is that Dauphin was? No. No, that's the side of something else.

So that's the main course you just had there, yeah. OK, fine, fine. I think I would go cream spinach because usually in any other scenario, my dream side will always be mac and cheese. OK. Always. But you've already got the cheese and the Dauphin was.

Yeah. And a mac and cheese with Dauphin was is mental. It's like, what's wrong with that guy? You know, I was about to say it's quite rich, but then you have replaced it with cream spinach. So you're still double you're double creaming it. And also you have nightmares. Huh?

You'll have nightmares. Because cheese. Yeah. Yeah. Do you just get actually give you nightmares? I strongly believe that. Really? Yeah.

Well, if you have it late, not like normal time. What's the latest you've ever had cheese, doing one of your five AM Zoom quizzes? Well, that's different because I'm not going to bed. I'm not going to bed. I'm not going to bed. Ever get any of it, just get all the cheeses? The cheese, time for the cheese round.

Oh, no, this is good. Guys, I've got to go to bed, so this is going to be bad for me. Try out some more stuff. Don't wash out of it again. But those are the, I mean, that was like the kind of quizzes. It's like someone's got to cut a post-it in half. Like the first person to cut a post-it in half. And then I've got to like find the scissors,

then find a post-it. Get it? I've done it. It's like, he was just quiz masters. Richard Osman, someone like properly thinking about format. Really going, come on, we're going to do a proper good quiz. I was making sure it was interactive, you know? You can't just be sat there. You've got to, you know, get around the house.

Find something. In my mind, you're doing a quiz with the cast of ghosts. Right, so yeah. I'm not actually allowed to have them on. Yeah. I mean, also, over Zoom, suddenly, you know, the guy saying in his pants is like, everyone's stealing my thing.

Why are you all sitting there? Why are you all sitting there in my, how is my character unique now? If you're all sitting there in your pants, you can't all do it. I'd love it if we found out. It was just Simon Farneby thought they weren't filming below his waist.

He just turned up on the first day with no trousers on. Oh, shit. I'm like, we need to make this a character. We'll do an episode when we go into the origin of it. But not now. There's no way Simon would let us into his house for that long. To be on a quiz with us. Really?

There's no way. We're not finding out. That guy's just like, he's a mystery. Oh, yeah. He's been a mystery for a long time, but I imagine even more so when I think about the cast of ghosts, I think he's not hanging out with the rest of them.

Do you know what, though? There's no way. He does. But then he doesn't come to a lot of things. Yeah, yeah. But when he is there, like when he has to be there, contractually, he's got an early morning next day.

So he will stay in the hotel. Then he'll come out with us. Aside from that, no chance. Do you have a send him a text and he doesn't answer it? And then what would you call that? I don't know. What would I call that? Just rude, isn't it?

Just rude, I hate that. Cream spinach. Cream spinach. Yeah. Well, that sounds good to me. With the duck as well. I know you are going double cream, as they've pointed out, but I guess that's not.

You know, too much cheese before bed, you get nightmares, too much cream. Nah, nothing. Wet dreams. You have the wet dream? You have yourself a wet dream like that? Guys, I've never saw a cream before bed. During lockdown, this is a spinach I don't know,

by the way, not wet dreams. I was ordering from Hawkesmore now and again, like, the best steak restaurant. And they would put in the boxes there, cream spinach, which is just warmed up in a pan, and it is phenomenal. And I think the key is they chop the spinach quite a lot. So it's almost, and the cream is amazing. And nutmeg, nutmeg is so important.

Real good bit of nutmeg, so good. I saw this on a recipe that I found online and I didn't have any. Oh man, I remember texting you about that. So I haven't been to Hawksmore before. Ed shouted it out on the podcast a lot. So we got sent those boxes. We were very lucky boys during lockdown.

Sometimes I feel bad about it. But we got sent it and the spinach. And I remember, for whatever reason, it was just me for the weekend. I was just on my own knocking about this Hawksmore thing came. And the whole thing of cream spinach was a lot. It wasn't just like a little side portion.

For two. It was a big old load of cream spinach. And I just, I thought, I'll cook it. I'll eat a bit now and I'll save the rest for whenever later in the week. I ate the whole thing in one go in front of the TV and texting Ed as I was doing it. Cause I couldn't believe how nice it was.

I never had it before. It's like, holy shit. I mean, that is, if I was to have cream spinach on a menu, it would be that exact one. Right. Cause holy hell. You didn't cook the steak because you were scared of setting off your fire alarm.

Yes. Yeah. My flat's very small. And the state would have created too much smoke and would have set off the fire alarm. So, but I actually had a steak recently. We said the state like two years ago. Right. It's been in my freezer for like two years. And Phil Wang had a barbecue the weekend

of the Platinum Jubilee. The Platinum Jubes, as you call it. Thank you. Yeah. There's a lot of people know that you coined the term Platinum Jubes. And not a lot of people have paid me for it either. No.

I mean, that's, that's not us doing a bit now. You genuinely came up with that. Yeah. And my wife doesn't believe you, by the way. That night, I was saying, I came up with Platinum Jubes. And afterwards she went, I mean, I couldn't say it at the time, but he didn't. She knows it's got to be someone, right?

Yeah. Yeah. But I, she said it to me as if she thought it was her. Right. She was like, he didn't. He didn't do it. As if everyone came to the conclusion. There's been a lot of that. Yeah. There's been a lot.

I believe you. Yeah. And I'm like, I'll just say to them, it's got to be someone. Yeah. Yeah. Why not me? Oh, see, that makes me think you didn't come up with it. When you phrase it like that. Oh, no, I did.

No, but my thought is like, why do they not think that I'm capable of shortening two words? Yeah. My friends that know me. Yeah. Yeah. What was the original tweet or whatever it was that got off the ground?

It was, I don't know about you, man, but I'm gas for Lizzie's Platinum Jubes. Yeah. Yeah. Might order some trainers on Nike ID. And did that go nuts, that tweet? No. Nothing. But the people who liked it were like five influencers. Yeah.

It was, no, it wasn't even that. It was afterwards, people going, someone just told me people are calling the Platinum Jubilee, the Platinum Jubes. Yeah. And then it went from that. Yeah. Yeah. So. Someone.

The tweet itself had no activity at all. But word of mouth, people. I reckon 83 really tweets. People looked at it and went, I'm going to start saying that, but I'm not going to engage with the tweets. Yes. Yeah. Bullshit.

Greg's used it. And then I tweeted them saying, you owe me 50 quid. And they DMed me, being like, oh, you created this. And I said, yeah, what are you going to give me? And then they were like, send us your address.

And I did. Nothing. No, there's no way. Now Greg's just no way you live. That's all I've got out of that. Yeah, that guy, of course. That's his address on the notes board. Go over and have a look at the,

you know, the mural we've had painted outside the new castle branch. Go and have a look at it. That's the guy from Guy's, that's where he lives. You'll say, you know, he claims he invented plenty of jeeps and he tried to get us, get some sausage rolls out of us. He's got his address. He doesn't know what we're going to do.

I've had nothing from them. They've got your address, man. I'm going to give you back an idea, actually. Yeah. What would you want? It's a big box. A Greg's black card. Yeah. How often would you use a Greg's black card?

Monthly, probably. Yeah, quite a bit. Worth it. Do you know what? I don't know if they still do them, but the mini donuts from Greg's, ten in a pack. Yeah. They still do that?

I'm not sure. In a, like a bag. I don't know, man. I used to go a lot on my Fat Man lunch crawl. Oh, yeah. When I used to go to about five places in a row. Yeah, yeah. For lunch?

Yeah. Just fill up a big carry bag full of stuff, take it home. Really? Yeah. Big stuff. Different times. Different times, different, different man. Big stuff.

Big stuff. As in, are you saying big stuff like big time? Or like... Well, it sort of encompasses everything, doesn't it? I was big stuff. It was big stuff. I had big stuff. It was big stuff.

Big stuff. I'd love to have a thing called big stuff. Big stuff. It's right. Oh, shit. I can't wait to use that. This set of big time. Yeah, man.

Big stuff. Can't wait for you to tweet the invent of it. Yeah, yeah. Here we go. This is how it starts. Oh, no. As soon as you leave, we're going to see, like, pop up on your Twitter.

That's big stuff. And then when the podcast comes out, DM Benito. I want 50 quid for that. Oh, yeah. We're going to get the tweet starts for the tweet. Oh, yeah. He's looked it up.

This is the original. I don't know about you, man, but I'm gas for Lizzie's Plattie Jubes. I don't even know what it is, but I'm ready. Capsot ready. Might make some trainers on Nike ID. Bullseye emoji, 100 emoji.

Fingers crossed emoji. Like it. At KF Red Hot. And you've also... What was that? 21st of May. It was 21st of April, 2022, at 2.40 p.m. So that's like, you've just woken up.

Yep. First thing on my mind. So that's what we're talking here. Seven retweets. 172 likes. Eight quote tweets. Let's have a little look at them. Some comments underneath.

Fullconker says, early thoughts about what you're going to go for with your trainers, question mark. And you've said, unfortunately, they wouldn't have arrived until after the Plattie Jubes. So you've got that in again. This is on June 4th. So actually, I should point out,

April 21st, the original tweet. Fullconker replies on April 21st. You replied to Fullconker on June the 1st. That's the day I got back from Mexico. Unfortunately, they wouldn't have arrived until after the Plattie Jubes, but I have something else in store with a party emoji. No engagement with that whatsoever.

Fullconker doesn't reply to you because it's been over a month. And I don't even know what you're talking about. Also, Bella Baby replies saying, Plattie Jubes brunch with the Huns, question mark, you don't reply to that. She came, Mo. She came to the party. Now, here's an interesting thing.

Yes, please. Ella tweets. Says, I will be using Plattie Jubes exclusively from now on. And then loads of crying laughter emojis. And then she says, thank you. So that is, I mean, again, you don't engage with that at all. You don't reply to it, don't favor it. But she says that.

Also, yeah, someone says, not Plattie Jubes and puts those crying face emojis and says they should put that on decorative plates. So that people like it. It's backing up. This is before no one else had heard it. So I had heard it. People liked that you said it. Now, weirdly, I quick up.

It says eight quote tweets. And then I click on, click on, click on quote. You click on them? I click on quote tweets. And it says no quote tweets yet. So I don't understand. They've all blocked you. So you, they're all bots that you've paid.

They're all me. Yeah, yeah. And I've blocked anyone else from seeing me. So that's the full engagement with your tweet there. I mean, someone's made a hell of a mirror and joke, but not really acknowledged the term Plattie Jubes. Ignored. Yeah.

I'm assuming you ignored them. Yeah. That seems to be your MO on Twitter. Yeah. So, you know, it wasn't... But that was only the first one. And then I did more. Then I did more.

Yeah. Yeah. What I think we skimmed over was that you said it got 83 retweets and it got seven. Yeah. That's a big lie. That's really tough, actually, to hear that from both of you. Yeah.

Because that makes it seem like I'm a liar. Yeah. That's... Which doesn't help, because this whole thing is about how reliable you are. It's like, you know, if you can trust in it. You know what I call that? Small stuff.

Small stuff. Small stuff. And Ed said that. And I said that. The first one to say it? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Small stuff.

So were you tweeted later? I think that maybe one of the other Plattie Jubes tweets got 83. So you did a few? Oh, yeah. I'm not going to stop there, mate. You're not going to stop after the seven retweets? No. I've just got a good thing going. Yeah, yeah.

You've got to follow me. You've got to load that up. Yeah. You've got a few comments. Ignore them all. Yeah. So now you've got to follow that up. Yeah. I've got nothing out of that.

I've got nothing at all. Wait, how big was it? Everyone was saying it. Everyone was saying it. Everyone was saying it. Wow. I mean, when I'm going to see that tweet, I think it can't have started here.

This is what, this is what Tash said. Yeah. Dimitri. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah. So this one again. Or Big Meach has a clue. Yeah. Yeah. She was like, well, it can't, it obviously not.

Look at the engagement. Yeah. That's not what we're talking about. That's not what it's about. But if like Plattie Jubes on Twitter and just scrolled and scrolled until the earliest tweet, that would be the first one. Yeah.

He's not going to do it. I promise you it would be the first one. Yeah. Someone would do it. Someone would do it. Yeah. When does this start? Four years? Maybe. I'd have time for you to start some fake accounts

and do whatever you've got for it. Report everyone else who did it before me. Yeah. I've thought that we'll get a bad tweet. Well, I mean, that was all to say, I went to a barbecue at Phil Wanks and had that steak. Yeah. Right. Which went quite well, actually.

Yeah. It was the hit of the barbecue. Do you know what? This has been one of the longer records, but I personally wouldn't lose any of it. No. I mean, I'm not being sarcastic here. I'm like, yeah, we're not even at,

we've got a drink and dessert to go. I'm really enjoying myself. I just like to take this opportunity to ask Benito to just not take anything out of this. Even though you said I'm up at a good time. What do you have on the stronger side? Ramon fashion. Yeah.

This is going to it's going to be interesting in Ramon fashion for the for the boy. I love a whiskey. I like whiskey. Be good for my nose. Yeah. Yeah. Your drink course. Now we're here.

We've got some whiskeys for for whiskeys around. I went to a bar in Onsted, which is no longer it's the building is still there, but it's a piece of place now. And it was a bar and it was quite a nice new bar as once it was becoming one of those places where people are like come to Onsted. It's nice here.

And I had a cherry vanilla old fashioned. You like sweet drinks. I love sweet drinks. Yeah. I drank this one. My I used to drink this one. That was my go to. And then I just discovered other things.

That's a good one, isn't it? Amaretto. Yeah. Amaretto. Yeah. Amaretto. It's a real shame that you completely slammed it with your first man. Hopefully, hopefully.

That's what you're doing. Negging people all the time. That's how I get my jobs, man. I really hope that somewhere we'll do them again because I've never seen cherry vanilla old fashioned anywhere. Is that something you would attempt to make at home? Maybe. I get really annoyed when I have to when I make something

and it doesn't taste the way I want it to. I don't have the patience for it. Yeah. I don't really like cooking for that reason. Although I do have an air fryer. Now, I'm not going to talk too much about my air fryer because I could go on forever. People who have air fryer is fucking love their air fryer.

I love them. I love it. I'm like, you know, like how Australia's love Australia. Yeah. I'm not my air fryer, mate. That'd be a good Jack House video. What? Dicking it in the air fryer.

I like how you expected me to make the mental leap to it being a dick in the air fryer. That's what I do. Wait for it to say what? What? Dicking it in the air fryer. I was surprised I haven't done it. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, don't you have to shut the air fryer for it to work? Yeah. Completely closed it. Yeah. So you'd have to jam the mechanism or shut your dick fully in the air fryer, at which point you may as well shut your dick in anything.

I've never seen an air fryer. So in my head, I was imagining it's like a see-through shoebox of a hole in it. Put your dick in from the side. You know, they don't make things that have dick access. In case Jack has one of these. Yeah. You see that tweet about the vacuums in the house

that people are getting. It's like a waist-high vacuum where you just throw your clothes and it goes into the... You make a laundry shoot in your house through a vacuum. I love that. And then some surgeon or doctor replied to that tweet saying, Accident Emergency cannot deal with a waist-high vacuum being installed into people's houses.

The Jackass boys absolutely over the moon when they saw that. Pre-order. They're in the group chat. Is he having it on pre-order? We've got to meet up, Johnny Knoxville. We've got to meet up. My house now. We all try and buy them now.

Yeah. And then we'll try if they wouldn't get enough. They would try and buy them. Look, the air fryer didn't work. Yeah. It wasn't how we imagined it in our heads, that air fryer. So it's going to be a clear shoebox with a hole in the side for our dick.

Hey, man, I just got this air fryer. Where's the dick go? That group chat is called, Where Does the Dick Go? There's so many customer services having to respond to it. Subject headed. Where does the dick go? Dear Mr Knoxville, we're sorry that you were unsatisfied with our blender.

I watched the new Jackass on the plane when we were going on honeymoon. Charlie was like, this is the worst way to start a honeymoon I've ever seen. And there were big screens on the plane as well. Just close-up dicks. Like the air hostess coming around going, would you like a drink?

Yeah, pours the first mix. So many dicks. I can't remember what it was that I watched on the flight to Australia, but I realised that they'd edited it, edited out all the sex stuff. And then I realised that, well, then I was told that Emirates do that. Emirates just get rid of all that stuff.

Didn't make sense to you in the film. I was like, well, you could tell me first. Might be what I'm watching 50 Shades of Grey for. Yeah. Yeah, how short was that for? They set up an air fryer, then that's it. No credits. Unbox it, plug it in, end the film.

You just see them looking around. It's going, where does it be? Mr. Grey, and then Phil, where does it be? So you want vanilla, cherry, whiskey, sour. Well, no, old fashioned. Old fashioned. Which I would think, I wouldn't say whiskey, sour by mistake, because I was thinking amaretto sour.

And I would think that vanilla cherry, you'd want that with the amaretto, maybe. You know, like a baseball tart. I think that can be too sweet. Because I have Disrano with cranberry. And occasionally, that's too sweet. Or if I've got a friend, Tony, loves cherry coke, loves it. Yeah.

I don't know why I find this. He only buys cherry coke. Yeah. Tony, yeah. He's not messed about with anything else. And he knows there's loads more. Yeah, yeah. Coat life, all that stuff, not interested.

Cherry coke, that's it. If they haven't got it, he'll leave the shop, he'll go somewhere else. How does he feel about cherry pepsi max? Text him now. How does he feel about cherry pepsi max? Yeah. He'll say no.

He'll say he doesn't like it. Nonsense. I mean, pepsi max in general is like, what is that? What's the point? No, but what is the point? What is that? Cherry pepsi max, huge. We love cherry pepsi max.

Huge on the show. Do you? Yeah, we love it. We just want to know if Tony's on board. If he likes cherry coke. Actually, do you know what he'll say? He'll reply, it's cool, why? Is that what he'll say?

Yeah. But that's not what he means. Yeah. But you know that. If I bought it, he'd be like, why do you buy this? Yeah, yeah, because he likes cherry coke. But me asking him, when I was in the last conversation was me sending him the tickets

to the club that I went to on Friday night and he was like, I'll definitely come and I haven't seen him since maybe two weeks ago. Right. So you didn't come to the club? No. No. In fact, I told him it was sold out

and he said, I'll find a way. He sent me the link. Great. I sent him the link, haven't seen him. Yeah, he didn't find a way. Didn't even follow up. No, there's not. I don't think he's...

Let me see if he's read that message, actually. I also would like to know how Tony feels about the fact that Coke Zero do a cherry flavor now. Yeah. And if he's messing with that or if he only likes... I think he bought that once by accident. Yeah, yeah. And got shouted at.

He got shouted at or he shouted at someone? He got shouted at. So who would he buy that for? He bought it for someone else. He would buy it in a group setting. Oh, okay. People give Tony that responsibility because they know he likes cherry Coke.

Tony's always... Tony's always last to the party. So you can... If we've run out of something at a party, you say, text Tony. We've run out of cherry Coke. Yeah. No, you won't say cherry Coke

because we won't have cherry Coke until Tony tells us. So we've run out of Coca-Cola. Tony can get some. Yeah. And then he turns up. You know that it's going to bring cherry anyway. Don't even bother saying it to him. 1.5 of cherry Coke.

But he's done. Signed a little can of Coke. He's done Coke Zero, cherry, and the party he hates, Tony. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the shame. And then he stops telling us stuff. Yeah, then he doesn't tell us.

Because he knows why I'm just going to shout at that. Yeah. He'll probably reply to that tomorrow morning. Yeah, that's nice. Perfect. And then you'll reply to him in a month. So like, you know, that's the whole thing that they take ages.

That sounds like a good drink. A sweet cocktail. Yeah. Controversially, I hate lemon and lime. Any questions? Now, why did you think of this just now? That you hate lemon and lime? Because you thought...

My thought process was like, I also love a Mai Tai, but I always ask them to take the lemon out or lime juice, whatever they're using. And I like a lot of cocktails. I always ask them to take the lemon and lime out. Do you hate... Yes. Do you hate both of those things separately or together?

You hate lemon and lime in anything? Yeah. That is controversial. Yeah. Paul Hollywood would be angry with you. He likes lime more than anything. He loves lime. Really?

Yeah, he loves lime. I love lime. I love lime. We always have lemons or limes in our house. Sometimes both. I only have lemon to season chicken. That's the only reason it's in the house. When you say season chicken...

Sorry, not season clean. Clean chicken? Yeah. Hang on. What? All right. That's a good question. All right then, boys.

I say, yeah, that's back to Paul Hollywood. Yeah. To clean chicken. Yeah. Vinegar, lemon. To clean chicken. To clean chicken. So, hold on.

You get it. You get chicken out of the packet. Chicken out of the packet. The first thing you do is give it a bath in some lemon and vinegar. First thing I'm doing, tap on. Salt. In the container that the chicken's in.

Lime. Then rinse, rinse, rinse, rinse, rinse. Lime, lime, lime, lime, lime. Rinse, rinse, rinse. Vinegar. Lime, lime, lime. Rinse, rinse, rinse, rinse. One of the tap.

Yeah. I've never cleaned my chicken. Then it's nice and clean. And does it retain some of the flavour from that lime and salt? Not really. No, so you're just... But the season's separate.

OK. It's a cultural thing. Is it? Yeah. Well, they go to a lot of jokes. I mean, if you went to Twitter now and typed, white people, wash chicken, there'd be a lot of stuff.

White people wash chicken? Yeah, because there'd be a lot of, like... This is our white people wash chicken. Don't. In between. Yeah, yeah. White people don't wash their chicken. White people don't wash chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's accurate. Yeah. I've never washed a chicken in my life. I just eat it dirty, I guess. Well, a lot of people are like, well, that's making it worse by putting stuff on it. Uh-huh.

But I can see why, like, the citrus and the salt would clean. It's like abrasive, right? So you're getting stuff off it. Yeah. But I suppose you're also sort of brining it as well at the same time. Yeah.

Washing me is big. Yeah. Big stuff. Big stuff. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes, I got in. I got in.

No, no, no. No, no, no. I got in. I got in that thing that I said. Yeah. And washing chicken is a big conversation, conversation point. Well, you don't wash a chicken.

Nah, man. You need to, man. Yeah. I don't know who I am at this moment. Well, you two different people, then. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think. Two people ganging up on something.

Yeah, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. Vinegar or lemon or lime. So white people not washing their chicken. Is that like a thing that like was noticed? Like people are saying like, yeah, no, he's going to a white friend's house and they don't watch the chicken.

No, I think it was more of all from cooking shows. And they're like, what's changing? And people are going like, he didn't even wash that. Yeah. Yeah. And then talking to other people going, can you believe that? Yeah. And then their white friends are like, what do you want?

Yeah. I can't believe I've found that white people not washing something else. Yeah. Wait, what was the first thing? Asian friends telling me I don't wash my ass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a cultural thing as well. Because I don't know. But with both of them, they're both things that when I find out about them, I go, That makes sense. Yeah. I should, I should put. Right.

I should put a milk bottle's worth of water at my house when I'm after about a shit. And I should be washing the chicken before I'm eating it. Yeah. And salt and limes. I'll say it on the way home, I'm going to buy salt lime. And then next time I go for a shit. Yeah.

Salt and lime your butt. I thought you'd cry that way. Oh God. Oh, I love that. I get what you mean because my Hassan. Yeah. When did I speak about Hassan? What did he do?

Hassan, well, you and him didn't always agree on stuff. Hassan will want to know what you're ordering. Oh, yes. That's it. That's why I mentioned him. He's avid bum washer. And he has the little thing by the toilet. Yeah.

But. You think that's avid? Yeah. On top. Every time. Avid bum washer, you know. Yeah. That's casting aspersion.

He's keen. Yeah. He's keen to. Well, I used to have material about this, about how the first time I found that out. And then it makes total sense. Yeah. And we've just been wiping our asses with paper. Yeah.

And go, that's clean. Nothing else. Wipe with a bit of paper. And that's where I am. I'm a wet wipes guy. You're a wet wipes guy. Yeah. Flashball.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're not fucking at the table. Yeah. Yeah. Causing the fatbergs. Man, I wouldn't.

I wouldn't. Guys, I wouldn't. Would you wet wiper chicken? Or is that not good enough? You wet wiper chicken? Because they got Lebanon on them. A lot of them we've got Lebanon. So it would actually.

If I didn't have anything else. Yeah. It's the favourite thing we ever covered on Mott the week when I was on it. The fatberg. The fatberg. It was my favourite week. I said that I deliberately made it over years. And I've been flushing.

So if you weren't supposed to flush down the toilet all the time. And then they said the British Museum or some museum. We're trying to buy the fatberg back in. We're trying to buy the fatberg so they can display it. Yeah. And I said I was going to outbid them, get the fatberg and then flush it all down the toilet. Yeah. I do want to mention.

I do want to give a special mention to tequila and apple juice. Tequila and apple. I've never heard about that. No. You heard it here. Tequila and apple juice. It's the one. London Hughes will say that she invented it.

She's full of shit. You hate people who claim to have invented stuff. Don't believe her. Is there a name for the drink? The KSB. Yeah. Yeah. Great.

That's supposed to be the happy. Makes you feel happier, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. All of it, alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. People love saying it's the only upper.

Yeah. Yeah. That's my way of saying it without having to say it. Yeah. People love saying it's the only upper. Yeah. What does the apple juice do to that? Does that level it out?

Does that make it less of an upper or more of an upper? Are you like, whoa? Apple juice. Wow. I think it just makes it sweeter. Yeah. And you know me. I like them sweet drinks.

You like them sweet. That's why I'm excited about them. When I was younger, my cupboard on the left-hand side of the kitchen at the end always, always had capris on it. Yeah. Never, never ran out. I never took the last capris on out of that cupboard, ever. You're saying this like it was a magic cupboard.

What I will say is I never saw it go in. Yeah. But it was always there. Yeah. I think that's my question. So, your parents or whatever. It was definitely my mum. Yeah.

I didn't even know what was in that cupboard. My mum would go to Queens Market, Green Street. Yeah. And probably get like 10 for about. Yeah. I take half of them. Take them to school. Yeah.

Sell them for 30 PE each. Oh, hold on. You were selling them? Yeah. You weren't drinking these capris on this. So, your mum was not only stocking up this cupboard. enough for you to run a small business. Yeah, that's a lot. Capricorn's a hula hoops. Are you taking the hula hoops as well?

Yeah. Wow. I was making, I was making my lunch. What was your sales power? Hello, my name's Mr Dynamite. Wrapping about the prod you should've got in your bag. That was your bit. That was when it was really obvious where the joins were. Just wrapping about the price of Capricorn and hula hoops, the deals that you've got on, and then suddenly into the Mr Dynamite lyrics. I got a bit of it. Yeah, I was all throughout school. I was selling drinks and crisps. People knew.

Drink and crisps, yeah. People knew you go to that guy. Yeah. And sometimes someone would come and buy the whole lot. What? Two drinks, two crisps. That was a whole lot. That was a whole lot, yeah. That's all you had in your bag every time. There's two drinks and two crisps.

Two drinks, two crisps. So you bought, every day you went in with two caps and crisps. Two drinks, two crisps. Two drinks, two crisps. Two drinks, two crisps. Yeah. So you, everyone knew you can buy them off him but he's essentially got two of each and then it's gone each day.

Oh, that's where the bidding wars came in. Oh, yeah. Because people would give me 50p for a Capricorn. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Which is like what was the mark up there? What are you doing? Oh, it was because it was 10 for a pound.

Yeah. So it's 10p. So yeah, five-time mark up. Yeah. And then that would be my lunch money. Would you take one for yourself as well? No. So you didn't drink Capricorn?

at home. Yeah. On a weekend. Yeah. Can't wait. But when you're eating it on the weekend, are you not thinking? But you didn't need to wait. Say when it's just go. Go away to eat these. Sadly, I'm completely shackled to my business. The thing about me, because other people wanted to do it, but they didn't know where to get those flavors from. I was getting exclusive flavors or flavors of talking where it's all can cherry kush. Wow. Multivitamin. Now, see, I used to be in a band called the Capri Sun Quartet, and we would name ourselves after different flavors of Capri Sun. Okay. And we never came across cherry. I'm going to give you a couple. Tell me if you know them. Yeah. Multivitamin.

Absolutely never heard of it. You went James Multivitamin. I wish I was. I was Sir William Strawberry. Dragon fruit. What? No. It's way cooler than the. Are these knockoff Capri Sun? They're official foreign. They're from like the country that they came from. Mainly Germany. Apple soft. Yeah. Well, that's a dead giveaway. That one. Lots of that. Lots of that. They will go quick. Yeah. People like apple soft. Safari fruit. What? What's Safari fruit? It was just like orange. They had pictures of like giraffes and lions on the front. Yeah. Kids would love that. But people didn't know where to get them from. So people would go to Iceland, get in just like orange and try to sell

them and be like, are you joking? Can I have a fucking dragon fruit? You have people competing with you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I'm not playing food. Train food because that's like, yeah, I'm paying three pounds for a water, but it's the only place I can get it. And it's like in school, you can't just go shop. Do you like the buffet carriage? Yeah. Yeah. You can drive up the price. As much as you want. I mean, I imagine you would struggle to sell the multivitamins one. No. You're joking. You've got to see that packet, man. What's the packet look like? Colourful. And I was like, oh, shit. What's that? So no one else's mum went to the same shop that your mum went to. No, my mum was going in the market. Queens market.

Right. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Deep in. Yeah, man. And those guys saw her every week. Your mum know you were selling them? No. No idea. She thought you was getting food for a day or whatever? Yeah. For a day. Yeah. And I still get my 25 pound a week from her. Okay. For like lunch and other and whatever on the weekend. But she was like, have two cappies and two packets of crisps for break time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I'll give it that money back one day. I'll get her a garden or something. The garden that Jack and Fruit bought. There you go. Straw in the top or in the bottom? Bottom. What do you mean? I didn't know loads of people who would go straw in the bottom. Can I flip it up? If I sold a cappies onto someone and saw them

stick the hole in the bottom. Yeah. I'm taking it back. Yeah. Yeah. I'm taking it back and I'm not giving them a refund. The deal's off. People used to try and buy in advance. I'd be like, no, you can't. Whoever gets me first in the morning. I can't start taking pre-bookings. You didn't have any other employees? No. Just you. Or me, baby. Independent trader. Yeah, man. But then when we got to year 10 and people started going to the shop in technology, then it was tough for me. It was all over. Yeah. Yeah. That must have been hard. Yeah. Because we weren't allowed out for lunch until year 10. But then in the year 10, people were just like, do you know what? I've got a breakdown. I'm not even waiting for lunch.

Are you trying to deter people going like? No, let it go. Run over. Guys, you've got to listen to me. You've got to get run over if you go out there. Have you done your green cross code? I think about this, guys. You might get run over out there. To be honest, by then, we were only doing milk and cookies. It was a, you buy a Maryland cookies full pack and a thing of milk. From the market still? No, from the shop. I think that's your problem there. I think you're trying to get them to buy shop produce. They can get themselves as before. You had exclusive market. No, no, no. Sorry. That's what people were getting.

Oh, they wanted that. They didn't want. They didn't want the canvass on anymore. Yeah. Okay. They've had three years at that. Buzz Lightyear. Yeah. Yeah. You were woody. You were woody in the cookies was Buzz Lightyear. Yeah. Milk and cookies. Mad that I knew exactly what you meant by that. Yeah. We've done enough episodes. And knows what I mean. Annoyingly, sometimes I'll say stuff like Jack has in Dick and the Fry and he doesn't get it straight away. I just spell it out for him. But Buzz Lightyear, you knew what I meant immediately.

Let's get on to your drink, does that? All right. I'm really interested in how you're going to respond to this. Okay. Well, we know you like sweet stuff. So I'm feeling relaxed because normally I get angry people choose savoury for dessert. I think based on what I've said before, there may be some pushback. You agree with this? Yeah. M&S, Black Forest Gato. Now, why did you think there would be pushback for this?

Always had looking like he's going to push back to it. I'm not necessarily pushing back. But what are you thinking? I'm not a Black Forest Gato guy. Right. Really? Okay. Anything with aerated cream. Here's a confession.

Yes. Before we continue. White people don't watch their Black Forest Gato. I'm holding my hands. I'm guilty of this. Listen, you've got to put salt live and then you've got a seasoning. I can't believe I didn't put a sticker on that. I'll put a sticker on it and here I am. Here I am. The sticker paid off.

That is a big sticker. M&S one. Yeah. Nothing like it. Yeah. Here's a catch. It has to be my birthday. Have you had it outside of your birthday before?

Not that I can remember. No. Not an M&S one. Not an M&S one. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can see how it's nice to have something that's just on your birthday. Because then you really do feel like it's your birthday. Which you don't always think, no.

The older you get, the more your birthday doesn't necessarily feel like an extraordinary day compared to the rest of the year. So it's nice to have something that only happens on that day. So when you're doing that thing. You know. You feel birthday. It's your birthday. I don't know how it happened.

But my mum, at some stage, I'm guessing I was probably like 13. And my mum was like, this is his thing. On his birthday, it's an M&S Black Forest Ghetto. And I could not wait for that. So this is... So when you're 13, so how, I mean, how old are you now? 33. Have you noticed the change in M&S Black Forest Ghetto over 20 years?

Well, this is the thing. I haven't actually had an M&S one for maybe four years. Okay. I've had a Black Forest Ghetto because my friends know that my best friend, Elena Hughes, she knows that that's what I love. Who's Elena Hughes? What best friend? What part is she in, Ghost?

She is the dead played girl. All right. Everyone else, first name for the whole podcast. I was having to say the second name. Elena Hughes, straight in there. No clue who she is. She's an English teacher. Fine.

Okay. Actually, she's not anymore. She's ahead of you now. Good job, Elena. Yeah. Well done. Going up in the world. Yeah.

She knows that when it's coming around to my birthday, he loves the Black Forest Ghetto. I'll get one of them. Won't get it from her M&S one. Why is she not going to M&S one? Because she doesn't... She's not like, oh, it's got to be an M&S one. And then I don't even know because it just comes out.

Happy birthday to you. I don't know if it's wrong. You can't tell. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't think I've had an M&S one in maybe four or five years. But you do want one for your dream meal. Yes, please.

M&S. Yeah, if that's okay. And it's your birthday. Yeah. Is it just whatever your next birthday is, age-wise, or do you want a specific... Was there a best birthday? I think I'd be lying if I said there was a specific one.

But I mean, I feel like one of my biggest birthdays is a... But I didn't organise. Was my 18th or 17th. 17th, definitely 17th. What are we talking? Carrie Coke's got the wrong time. Tony came out. Tony...

Actually, was that a Pizza Hut one? No, 17 I wasn't doing Pizza Hut anymore. No. No. Quick question. When was the last time you had a Pizza Hut? Oh, great question. I mean, 20 years ago?

Really? Yeah. Fuck. It's not even... You haven't had any years. Not even a delivery? No. I think I had one during lockdown because my girlfriend likes Pizza Hut.

I have great memories of Pizza Hut. The base, the fried base. I've talked about it before. It's like they've deep fried the base. It's great, but I wouldn't get one. Tried to get one the other day and failed. I just wouldn't get one. There's nowhere we get one.

I simply wouldn't. Yeah, yeah. What's a go-to then? Domino's? No. Yard sale. Like, I'm not messing with any of the big guys. Yeah. Domino's have put me off with their own advertising.

Oh, yeah. Every time someone says Domino's, I'll just sing that. Domino's. You seen that? Oh, the Yodel thing. Domino's. I love a Yodel. Are you ripping off Miss Dynamo?

Yeah, I imagine. I think that's where they got it from. We could all rip off Miss Dynamo, mate. It's Miss Domino. You really tell the point in the Domino's advert where they stop doing their own stuff and they start ripping off Miss Dynamo. There's a massive, massive change.

I think you've got to get a Pizza Hut, man. I'll get one. Yeah, I'll try out. I'll put the port back. I'll tell you what I should do, because I've not had like Domino's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's, any of those for ages. The big stuff, guys.

Big three. And the big three. I should go back and try them all again and give my findings. Pizza Express, I still get. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, but that's different. That's eating gas.

Yeah, that's the Nando's of pizza. No one's eating a Pizza Hut anymore, unfortunately. So we're talking Black Forest Gato. From M&S, it's your birthday. And the whole meal has been on your birthday. Or do you want it to suddenly shift to your birthday on the dessert? Shift to my birthday and then do that.

Yeah, okay. So it's a late meal, but you're up for another six hours. Yeah, it's my birthday anyway. Yeah. Put you off the Gato, do a quiz. I'm going to read your menu back to you now. See how you feel about it. Still water.

You want hard-o bread for proper arms of bread? Can I get cucumber in that? Still water? Yeah. Someone showed me that once and showed me a word. Someone showed you it? Showed me, yeah. How do you want the cucumber sliced?

Sideways. I like the longer the slice is the better. Longer? Oh, that's the funny one. A long diagonal kind of slice. No? No, not more than about that. Starter, dynamite shrimp.

P.F. Chang's I've got written down here. Main course, confit duck leg with Doping wise potatoes, honey roast carrots and parsnips. Side dish, creamed spinach. Drink, cherry vanilla, old-fashioned dessert, M&S, Black Forest Gato, and it's your birthday. Oh, look at that. That's amazing.

Feeling good? Yeah, I've also got another special shout out. I know I've done a few. You can do a special shout out. Please do. Krispy Kreme burger. Oh, no. Joe Lysi out of Krispy Kreme burger.

I had a real go at him, actually. Yeah, I didn't go down well. But I've got an update. Have you had it? No, but I didn't like the idea of it. I don't have a pistol. Because it's gimmicky. It feels like that sort of gross, dirty food thing

that happened where people were like, just chuck as much sugar and fat at something as possible. And it was like an Instagram thing. But then I went to a place called From the Ashes, which is a barbecue place. It's just a little hatch in the wall in Hackney and had their Del Piero pulled pork doughnut, which is one of the best things I've ever tasted in my life.

Are you going to say that it was inside a doughnut? Well, it was like they cut a doughnut. They cut the doughnut in half. Oh, great. Yeah. And then put this incredible, like slow cooked pulled pork with Enduya and then crackling in there as well. And it was, it's one of the best things I've ever tasted.

Where's that? I need it. It's in Hackney. What's it called? From the Ashes. From the Ashes. I think they've got one in Seven Dalles Market as well, actually. From the Ashes, because that sounds like an absolute bit of me. Yeah, it was incredible.

And it's really good barbecue anyway, like really good slow cooked brisket and stuff. But so I came around to the doughnut thing and then I was like, maybe I should try a Krispy Kreme burger. Where did you have a Krispy Kreme burger? I first had it at Redstru BBQ in Manchester. Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I liked it, but I didn't love the patty.

Yeah, yeah. But I had cheese and bacon. Yeah, and that does a lot of heavy lifting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So as a group, I really enjoyed it. Yeah. Then I went to Liverpool for my 27th birthday. Yeah, Black Forest Gâteau.

Yeah, as I was walking into the room. So I felt like I was like, oh, so I was walking into the room behind you. So I felt like I may as well be having a Black Forest Gâteau. My 27th birthday in Liverpool. Death Row Records, it's called. I hope it still exists. And we ordered loads of shit.

And I saw what's sometimes called a Luther burger. It's after Luther Van Dros. Yeah. Because apparently he loved two doughnuts and beef patty. Oh, really? Yeah. Then it's called a few things. Luther burger, Dean Martin burger.

And something else I can't remember. But Krispy Kreme burger. Dean Martin probably predates all of them, right? Yeah, yeah. So, but you still invented it. I tweeted it first. Yeah. So those are the two times I had it.

And then I had it on Valentine's Day, 20. It's such a funny thing to have a Valentine's Day. Yeah, so romantic. 2014. Happy Valentine's, baby. I love you. Why is he running nanny chin? Because me and the girl that I was in a relationship

with. Was being the key word there. I wonder why I did it. Always spoke about having this Krispy Kreme burger at some point. On Valentine's Day, she made it. Here we are, 14th of February, 2015. There she is cooking out that Krispy Kreme burger.

Amazing. On the pan. Look at that. It's good. So bacon there. Bacon in there. Look at that. Egg as well.

Egg. Yeah, so okay. It's a popper. Looks good. Looks good, right? That looks like a whole doughnut on top of there. Yeah, it was, yeah. What?

What happened was, she fried one. You made it like you make your lunchable. It's all stacked up with the doughnut on top. It's meat, cheese, doughnut. That's my death row meal. Yeah. But not necessarily my favorite meal of all time. Not true.

Just going out, guns blazing. Dream, sorry, yeah. So not your dream meal, but going out all guns blazing. You having the Krispy Kreme. Kyle, thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you for having me in Dream Restaurant. Just to let the listeners know. Longest record?

Well, I'd say, yeah. So we started at eight. Yeah. Is that right? Oh, it's like seven, didn't it? Yeah. Yeah, so it's two hours 20. Two hours 20.

That's the longest. And also the only record we've ever drunk during. Yes. Oh, I love that. Yeah. I don't think that much is going to come out of it. I mean, I would push for it all to stay in. Yeah, yeah.

Obviously, that's not going to happen. I'm going to send a strongly worded email. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you very much, Kyle. Thanks for having me, man. Well, there we go. I don't know what Bonito edited that down to, but we were talking for two and a half hours.

I hope he kept it all in. I've said it to him several times. He's let me know that he's definitely not going to keep it all in. Yeah. But let me tell you, all of it was gold. Yes. I'd be comfortable with it all going out. It was a very, very funny episode, very fun to record.

The only one that we've started drinking in, even the live ones, we didn't have a drink during the episode. That's interesting, isn't it? We didn't do it in the live ones. No, I think about it. But I think we are ones to talk for a long time anyway. And I think if we'd done them in the live ones, I think we had, we were talking for so long on the first live one

that we had 40 minutes to go and we'd not started the menu yet. Yes. If we'd added alcohol to that situation, it would have been a disaster. Could have been a disaster, yeah. And this has been the only one, I think, that we've done in the evening. Yeah, yeah, first one ever.

Yeah, like all together in the same room in the evening. So, you know, and Kyle, he was like, you heard him. He was ready for a chat. When he got to that course, he was like, Get me something dark in the glass. And then we were going to jump on board straight away. Yeah, of course, because we're pathetic. People can't see, but Benito's just in his pants now.

Yeah. Even Benito had a whiskey. We all had a whiskey. The guy in charge of the dex, Benito has dex for this. Yeah, he's got his dex. He remixes it as he goes along. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, though, Kyle did not say the secret ingredient.

Didn't say ghost pepper. No, he didn't. Of course, he didn't. So, we appreciate that. Thank you, Kyle. Do go and watch Ghosts for God's sake. Go and watch Stafflet's Flats. Go and watch Red Flag on all four.

Kyle's brilliant. It was a brilliant episode. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Now Ed's going to make his fart in the box, I guess. Mad to think that in the story of it, I had it before Kyle came in and I'm not eating it yet. And then two and a half hours later,

after drinking three whiskeys, I'm going to eat my egg. Yeah, yeah. That's your life. Peep, peep, peep, peep. Hello, it's me, Amy Glendale. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato and our relationship's never been the same since.

And I am joined by... Me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil in case... Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News.

It's about all the news stories that we've missed out from the North, because look, we're two Northerners, sure. But we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News.

We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glendale's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening.

There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.