Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 191: Paul Feig

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

For the second week on the trot, alcohol is flowing in the Dream Restaurant. Paul Feig – director or ‘Bridesmaids’ and ‘Spy’, creator of ‘Freaks and Geeks’, and cocktail connoisseur – is this week’s guest diner. Paul Feig’s book ‘Cocktail Time!: The Ultimate Guide to Grown-Up Fun’ is out now, published by HarperCollins. Buy it here. Follow Paul on Twitter and Instagram @paulfeig Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy, now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the vermouth of good chat, the gin of fantastic humour, the ice of the internet, mixing them together, then pouring into the beautiful podcast Martini Glass, and serving with a twist of fun. I absolutely love it. Ed Gamble, my name's James A. Caster. This is the Dream Restaurant. We invite a guest in every single week. We ask him to favour, ever start a main course dessert side dish and drink, and as Ed's the little clue there, little clue might have

tipped you off. This week's guest is Paul Feig. Paul Feig, an amazing film director, writer, cocktail man now. Yes. During the lockdowns, he was making cocktails online and he's turned it into a book called Cocktail Time, just full of loads of recipes for cocktails, as well as stories from his life, a little bit of advice in there if you want. It's the ultimate guide to grown-up fun, and that's out now. You can get that. We've been flicking through it. I can't wait to make some stuff from that. Yeah, yeah. There's so many great ideas in the way that he writes as well, the stories

that he tells. It's a wonderful read. I'm genuinely looking forward to making some of these cocktails, some of them which I've never had before, but they look and sound delicious. Maybe some of them will come up in the chat with Paul Feig. Yes, fingers crossed. But Ed, listen, we both love Paul Feig, however, if he brings up an ingredient, a secret ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will kick Paul Feig out of the dream restaurant. We will. And today, that secret ingredient is bad meat in a Brazilian restaurant. We've tried to find out for ages the exact thing that makes them really ill on bridesmaids.

We've been sat here for a long time googling what gives them food poisoning in bridesmaids. Every single website just says bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant. That's all it says. So that's what the secret ingredient is. Very unlikely he's going to choose that. Yes. Because the word bad is in it. Yeah. No one says, I'll have some bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant, please. Yeah. But I mean, also, I think he knows his stuff, you know.

Yeah. He seems to be a foodie. He's at least a drinkie. He's a drinkie, but often drinkies are foodies. Yeah. Drinkies are foodies. They go hand in hand. I'm very excited for this one. James Paul Feig's done so much amazing stuff. Yeah. I mean, we're both fans of Finks and Geeks. Yeah. They ever mentioned bridesmaids, of course. And the US office, you know.

Come on. I'm going to try and get a US office in there. Yeah. Like a little reference. You've got to drop a ref. I'm going to try and sneak under the radar, see if I can get it past him. See what happens. We'll see. Also, there's some talk.

Benito's let us know of him making us a martini, which is why I did the martini intro. Because I got gin on the brain. Very excited about that. If we get a martini made for us by someone who has a cocktail making book out. Yeah. And his own gin. And his own gin, of course. Arting Stools London Dry Gin. Can't wait to try it.

Yeah. Me too. We've got a good history of guests on the pod who have their own spirits and them turning out to be delicious. So very excited for that. Very excited for the chat. Very excited to meet Paul Feig. Let's do it. This is the off menu menu of Paul Feig.

Welcome, Paul, to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. Oh, my God. Welcome, Paul Feig, to the Dream Restaurant. We're going to expect you to give us some time. Finally, Jeanie. I finally meet you.

So it's a great pleasure. I thought that was a big explosion I did there. But that was a good one. Yeah, it was a good one. It didn't quite get on the saw. But it was a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was worried for a second. I'm in the Jeanie Splash Zone.

So I got quite a lot of fun. I'm going to try and get it on the table. I'm going to try and get it on the table. I'm in the Jeanie Splash Zone. So I got quite a lot of that. How often do you reckon I'll spit on you? Well, normally we sort of sit next to each other adjacent. So I don't get too much spit, but occasionally a little fleck.

Right. The microphone takes a beat for that. Oh, an absolute hammering. Yeah. And Benito, who people can't see, but he's holding the microphone in front of my face. I finally meet Benito. I'm very excited about this.

Is he how you imagined he would be? No, actually. Better, much better. How did you imagine him? I don't know why I imagined some big hulking guy. Because of the presence of the word great, I guess. You know, that's what it is, exactly. Sort of like, yeah, the classic Warner Brothers cartoon, Jeanie.

Yeah. You can feel like you're bursting out. So I'm happy that I'm not afraid. Yeah. Yeah. Just like they typically do. We're very excited to talk about all things food. Also, your new book, Cocktail Time, which is out.

Which is like, I mean, it's not just cocktail recipes although it has loads of brilliant cocktail recipes in it. But also, it's got stories. And just it says the ultimate guide to growing up fun as well, which I think sums it up nicely. Yeah. No, I like, you know, I like old timey kind of cocktail party fun, you know, and that sort of, you see those pictures

from the 50s and 60s of people in small apartments in New York and tuxedos and gowns, drinking martinis. That always looked kind of cool to me. So trying to bring that back. Oh, nice. And it was a lockdown project as well. So in lockdown, did you become that guy? Yeah.

I was tuxes in the house. Well, I did. I had an Instagram live show I did every day for a hundred days in a row where I made cocktails and raised money for first responders and all that. And this kind of grew out of that. A lot of people said, well, write down the recipes. And then I just kept writing because it was locked down.

And I also do. Oh, lovely. Such a fantastic idea. Thanks. And I'm definitely going to use it as an excuse to just get through this and make cocktails at home. Excellent. Alone.

Well, my wife doesn't really drink cocktails, but like I make martinis at home and then it just, and then you sit down with a martini. And it makes sense if you're like wearing a tuxedo and you're making a night of it. But when you just sat on the sofa with a martini and a martini glass just in your pajamas, it's just like there's a special level of bleakness there.

It can tip to sense, slightly. But at the same time though, one of the things I always talk about in the book is like, at least you're drinking out of like a nice glass. Make it into something because there's no excuse for drinking booze out of plastic. I think that's the line I draw. Yeah, I think that's a good line.

Because then you just want to get drunk. Do you have a favorite cocktail glass at home that's like the really fun glass that you can have a nice drink out of? Yeah, I've got a couple of martini glasses. I like one that's from like the Conaut Hotel that's really fancy and all that. And then there's also more of the kind of old-timey

kind of fifties tumblers that are fun to have like a Scotch out of or that kind of thing. So I sound like I'm a huge drunk, right? So only one of the martini glasses is from that hotel. There's two. There are two. If a guest came over. And broke one of those glasses.

How good do you think you could disguise your anger? I'm pretty good at that. My wife is terrible at it. She's got to give somebody spill something. Oh my God, you've got to get this off the floor. I just have this clean. It's like, let it go, let it go. It's not that bad.

But I will secretly despise them and want to. Yeah, especially if there's only two glasses from the Conaut. You just have to go to the bathroom and bite your knuckle until. Exactly. And they'll go like two more and then I've got an odd number. Unless I then have them over again

and they break another one. So then we get back to the evens. That's a good martini at the Conaut. That's somewhere I have been because just before we started recording we were talking about Jukes. Oh yeah, yeah. Which we've spoken about before on the podcast

but we've still not had a chance to go. But the Conaut, love the Conaut. Yeah, they do a lot of pageantry there. They pour it from on high, which is nice. Although as a cocktail enthusiast and a martini lover, I feel like that's just making it slightly less cold. Okay, so you're a purist as well because they do all the bitters as well.

You can have all the different types of bitters. But are you more of just a straight up martini guy? Yeah, to me it's all about the gin and the interaction with the vermouth. And then I like lemon twist on top because I like a bright martini versus, I think olives sort of drag it down sometimes. I mean, we should mention we are in the presence

of the martini equipment here as well. You brought it with you. So I feel like we should have it. Would you like me to make you a martini? I feel like it would be a shame not to. Benito, this might be just a lot of noise. This is great though. We can use it as like get a wild truck of that

and use it as the stings in between the bits. Oh, perfect. Now normally I would not use my hands to put the ice in here but they are clean. So just know my friend, Alessandro Palazzi who's the head bartender at Dukes. When I would do my show on Instagram, he would send me texts and say like,

stop using your hands, use a spoon. I completely trust you, Paul. I'd say in fact, and I mean this, you're our cleanest looking guest we've ever had. Yeah, really? By some distance. Did I beat Stanley Tucci? Oh yeah.

Actually, the Tooch look pretty clean too. The Tooch is a good friend of mine, so. The Tooch is a clean looking man. Also smelled wonderful. Soft, smelt good. Yeah, I've eaten it at his house many times and the food is everything you think it would be. I'm sure.

In 10 times more. I'm sure. His wife Felicity makes the gnocchi and it's unbelievable. It's lighter than air. I mean like little pillows of delicious. What do we got to do to get an invite to the Tooch? I've got to go back to that Atlanta hotel. James bumped into him in a hotel in Atlanta recently.

Oh really? After we did the podcast, he remembered me. Well, how can he forget? After being reminded. So you know. So is that the vermouth that's just gone in there? Yeah, it's the vermouth. It's a dry vermouth.

I like Dolan personally. I have no investment in whatsoever. But I basically, it's just a few drops. So you just want just enough, do you know how like when you have a single malt scotch and you put in like a drop of water, just to open it up? Yeah. That's kind of what,

that's how I look at the vermouth in a martini being. Cause some people use a spray, right? As well. Have you seen that before? They just spray it over or just rinse the, rinse the glass with it as well. That's what they do it do. That's where I saw that on a show.

Yeah. Pours it in and spins it and then throws it on the carpet. Yeah. So there you go. I don't encourage that for anybody else. Your wife immediately. No! Are we just about to meet?

Yeah. Alessandro! And now just a ton of gin. This is my own gin too that I make. And what's the name of your gin? My gin is called Artingstalls, Brilliant London Dry Gin. Amazing.

And what a beautiful bottle. Thank you. We've got a lot of designing this. Very nice. So I'm literally just selling stuff on your show for the last 10 minutes. Listen, Dan Akkoi did that. And he's one of the, he's one of people's favorite.

So. I don't think Dan likes me very much. Dan and I have a little history. Well, well, well, well, well, well. I love Dan. He's one of my favorites, but he kind of turned on me after he got his busters. Oh yeah, yeah.

Well, hey, we'll let him know. We'll say, Joe, what, you and Paul, think you have a lot in common. Exactly. You should pick up the phone, Dan. But I will do a much longer interview than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't think you,

I'm not sure Artingstalls will be in every course that you suggest. No, certainly not. Certainly not. A crystal skull after this. So I'm just, I'm stirring endlessly because it needs to be very, very cold. So.

This is very exciting. I'm so excited. I saw someone once making, cause you know, as you say, when people are making the cocktails and they do the really high pour, it can be quite theatrical and quite fun to watch, but not as fun as when I watched someone mess it up once.

And it was just absolutely, they did the really high figure. They just went all over the floor. And I was like, oh no. His hand was completely wet cause he just got his entire hand that was holding the glass at the bottom. Paul's wife pops up from behind the bar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you took great joy in that thing. I really loved it. I didn't really laugh at them because they were over the floor. Well, I wouldn't have cut my finger off while I do that. We are peeling a lemon. Peeling a lemon.

There we go. And normally I will do gigantic peels, but since I'm in the, in the, you know, service of time I try to make these just normal. There we go. Four martinis. One for each of us, including great Benito. The only thing wrong with this is

I did not chill these glasses. Okay. Normally I would have these ice cold. There's a specific amount of martinis that I think is correct for an evening. How many martinis would you have on an evening? Well, here's the big question. It depends what size they are.

There's a very evil thing going on in the world, especially in America. And I think it's here, I've had it here too, which is like a martini should be four ounces. And they've started doing like 10 ounce martinis. Oh my God. Which is like a more than a third of a bottle of gin. So if you want to though, and you know,

you want it to be cold. So in order to keep it cold, you kind of have to slam it down pretty fast. And then you're whacked out. I mean, you're gone. So if it's a 10 ounce martini, you know, don't even finish it. But normal, like a good four ounce martini,

which is kind of what I'm pouring here. That's just friendly and get your evening off to a good start. And you can have wine and all that. So now, it's all about getting the lemon oil. Sorry, people at home, I'm squeezing a lemon twist over this and get the edges. Oh God.

I'll call my wife. There we go. And then you got to get it on there. Oh, they're squeezing the lemon peel, rubbing it around the rim, dropped it into the cool pool. There we go. The cool pool.

The cool pool. Lovely martini. Don't normally have to negotiate a microphone while you're rolling the chairs. Yeah, that's right. I blame the mic. There we go. Cheers, you bet.

Thank you. Cheers to you. Cheers to you. Cheers. Thank you. Cheers Bonita. Cheers, cheers, exactly. And thank you for letting me do this on your show

and having me on, because I'm a massive fan. Oh, that is absolutely. Well, that is phenomenal. You like that? Love it. Excellent. What a lovely gin. Thank you.

What a lovely gin. We've won a lot of awards in all, so I'm very, very proud of it. Yeah, that is fantastic. Now the cool drink in front of us, exactly. Fly off the rails now. Active to the night. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know the thing. James is coming across the table and asking me to be a big fight. Well, I'm stuck in my head. Will we have enough to get a Shrek? Oh, what would you say? We will see if Shrek comes out. After he's out of my city.

Oh, don't get out of my town, my town. This might Shrek challenge you, though. Do it without saying, ah, donkey food. Yeah, I see that you know. That's the warm up. I know exactly. I either say, ah, donkey, or my name's Shrek. This is Shrek.

Yeah. I even want to then. It's when you can tell that someone's a good impressionist when they say the name of the person they did the impression of before they do it. I saw that we do. The guy from Biteslates made me a cocktail. That's really hard.

Well, let's get into still or sparkling water. Yes, sparkling. I love sparkling. I know it's a very controversial thing on here. But first of all, I don't buy all this science that everybody has about how it, I don't know, makes your teeth rot and your bones get soft and all that. Maybe it's true. I don't know.

I love sparkling water, but I like it extra crazy sparkling. Like I have a soda stream and literally we'll run out of canister just making it so much. I've had it literally when we put the cap on and I take it off and the cap pops off. Oh, wow. Wow. So you just like keep pumping the gas into it.

Oh, yeah. Is that something that's gradually increased over time where you were like a one pump and then it was two and now you're like. Yeah, I just got waiting. That sound is it makes. I got that farting sound that it does when it tells you you're ready, but you have to let it go past that

into like torture for it. And I love that the soda stream guys are probably listening to this going, we can't recommend that. That's so dangerous. Exactly. Especially it passed the fart. But I just don't like an anemic kind of sparkling water, especially when you make like I really like gin and sodas.

And I'll probably become a pariah in the UK for saying this. But I actually, I would like to have people switch from gin and tonic, gin and soda because tonic water is filled with sugar. I don't want to rain anybody's parade, but it also just covers up the taste of the gin, which, you know. Yeah, I would agree with that. Actually, like tonic, like if you ever, you know,

have tonic on its side, it's absolutely disgusting. I don't think that's true. I'm going to be on the side of tonic here. You're a tonic boy. I love tonic. And I have diet Schwepp's tonic, which is sugar free. Yeah. Oh, OK.

So there you go. No sugar in there. But I do agree that I would never have a gin and tonic with like a really nice gin. I'm very excited about a delicate gin. Yeah, I don't want to like, yeah, because it does shout over the gin a bit. But no, I love tonic.

No, I didn't know you were such a tonic head. I'm a tonic head. I drink tonic the other day when we went out for a drink, the three of us, me and Benita won the beers, beer boys, beer twins and one arms around each other, beer boys, cheers. And you were there with the gin and tonic in the corner. And that doesn't feel great when it's should we go for a pint and you get into a British pub for a lovely pint.

And then you're the one sat in the corner drinking a gin and tonic. They're very self-supporting. Left out of it. But like with with a tonic water, you wouldn't want like a sort of a half bubbly tonic water. You know, you want to see bubbles. Yeah, it needs to make itself apparent. Yeah, exactly.

So that's why, you know, there's some of these these sparkling waters, like your Badois and all that, which it's just like a baby farted in it or something. There's nothing going on there other than it just looks like maybe the glass was dirty. So there's a little bit of kind of bubbles in the side. Badois was the name of the baby. Badois.

Little Badois. Little Badois. And his tiny farts. I'm ready. Guts, what else? I mean, is your sparkling water of choice then for this? A gin and sparkling water? Well, a gin and soda water.

No, because I'm going to I'm going to have a drink before I have my meal. Lovely. And that would be a martini. So I'm not surprising anybody with that. But no, I like, you know, I like good old fashioned like New York seltzer water that's like super aggressive, you know, just make your tongue kind of come alive. So but it's hard to get that here.

Hard to find that here. No flavor. No, none of the flavored ones. No, no flavor. No, I don't. I mean, I do enjoy a La Croix, if you will. Sure. Yeah.

Which is, I know, a controversial for some people. But always gets a shout out from American guests, though. It does. And it always is followed by the phrase, I know, it's controversial. And we have to sit here and act like we know what that means. Because do you have La Croix here? No. Oh, you don't.

OK, so we went to LA and New York to record some episodes of this and we got into La Croix. Yeah. I think because someone maybe mentioned it in early episodes, the Bonito went out and bought a load and we just had them in the Airbnb. So we were necking them pretty solidly when we were over there. I still didn't see the controversy. I was like, this is pretty nice.

I think it's just looked at as being kind of douchey, you know. So, yeah, so there's that. But I know somebody I know actually says it tastes like a drawing of an apple. Yeah, it's just the merest hint of fruit, isn't it? Yeah. It's like Badoir ate a raspberry and then fried into the water. Exactly. Little Badoir.

Yeah, maybe Badoir. Pop it up, it's all bread. Pop it up, it's all bread, Paul Figg. Pop it up, it's all bread. I'm ready. I'm ready for this. Well, here. OK, so I would like to change it up a little bit if I could.

I would very much like chips and salsa. And when I say chips and salsa, not British chips, obviously, but like tortilla chips like that in a Mexican restaurant. Yeah, that's my favorite way to start. I love it. Desperate Birch definitely chose this. I don't know if anyone else has. No, I think it's been a long time since someone went with this.

And I think it's such a good choice. I love it when people hack this part of the meal and don't just go with the two options and actually get something that would normally sit here. It feels like a pop of celebration of the course. Yeah, I didn't want to be controversial. Yeah, once again, I'm trying to stay away from controversy. Desperate to not be cancelled on this podcast.

The one I was looking forward to the most. That's the one that took me down. It's such a good choice because I love bread. I don't have bread before a meal any time, but it can fill you up so much. Whereas when it's chips and salsa, it really gets you excited and ready for the meal. It's like that little tingle.

Well, it blasts your taste buds in a great way. But here's I mean, I love Mexican food and you'll find that out as I go through my menu. But depending on what Mexican restaurant you go to, there's a gazillion different types of salsa. And some are really terrible and some are fantastic. But there's so many just kind of like limp ones. And I don't understand them.

Some, and there's some that are crazy. There's some, one place in Pasadena, California, where it literally just take those chili flakes and they put oil in it and that's it. And it's like, it's kind of madness. Yeah, I mean, you're just your tongues on fire, but not in a fun way. It just hurts.

It's a challenge, yeah. Do you have a particular salsa that you love that you would want with this course? Yeah, there's a place called Gardens of Taxco in Los Angeles. And they were this great restaurant that they were there forever. And their big thing was they had no written menus. The guy would come over and would recite this menu to you.

But it had jokes in it. And like one of the jokes was always, it tastes like the chicken was born in the sauce. And so, and they would like, stretch out, born. Did you go there enough that you knew the script? Could you like mouth along to what he was saying? Well, it's that thing, you know, when there's something you love

and you just know it so well. So you take people there and it's always like, here comes those two jokes. And we just like wait for those two jokes, which, you know, after a while is just kind of pathetic. You're like, jokes not that funny, really. But it's like, when I went to Disney World and I went to go on the jungle cruise

and you know that the backside of water joke is coming. And I was really excited about that. But I'd never heard it before in person. I just seen it on a bunch of stuff. And when they said backside of water, I started an applause on my own. I was like, one person joined in and we made eye contact. We were like, yeah, we know.

Super fans. We know that. That's a great running joke. So I get how you feel at this first time. I'll be quite excited. So it tastes like the chicken was born in the sauce is a weird joke. Yeah, I know, and kind of I'm settling too. That was always that we deconstructed it.

I didn't, I didn't even think about it for a second. And I'm like, that's, what does he mean? Something I wanted to eat, anything that tastes like it was born and the thing I'm going to eat. Weird home birth going on about a pack and pull full of the sauce. Chicken in it.

There you go. We're going to eat it immediately. Paul Fagan, is that it? That's right. I'll do it. I guess does it mean it's just been marinated for a long time maybe? Yeah, I guess it just, it feels like it. Yeah, it's so hard of the sauce

that like how could it be? And the other joke was it's spicy, not hot, spicy. Yeah, that's the joke. Yeah, exactly. The delivery is the thing that can see the audience would, yeah, if he was a stand up, everyone would join in with that. And you can tell all the regulars

would bring somebody new and they're all like watching him with anticipation, watching the person like, aren't they going to laugh? But I, oh my God, my mom, right? I took my mom there once like in the last year of her life and she was always kind of put upon by my grandmother who was very overbearing. And so she was always very meek.

And when my grandmother died, my mom kind of found herself overly found herself. Like, you know, she'd be telling a story and somebody would like interject with a joke. And she's like, excuse me, I'm talking. It's like, mom, you can't now just take over. I know you're trying to right the wrongs of your whole life. But so I take her there, you know,

I'm so excited and the guy's doing the menu and right in the middle of it, she goes, is he ever going to stop talking? I was like, oh my God, my favorite place. He's not on the spicy joke yet, never go back. So the chips, did I make the chips in-house or are they bought? Cause like that's really exciting.

When you go to like Mexican restaurants, especially right around, I haven't been to Mexico, one, two, but especially around LA where I've been there and there's like the Mexican restaurants there, the chips are incredible. Yeah, you never quite know. You know, there's some places that make them, but I've been to places where they make them

with flour tortillas and those are kind of funky cause they get kind of like, you know, bubbly and then they keep the grease on them and stuff. So that's not as much fun. I got like just a good corn chip and if it's made in-house, that's great. But I tend to not ask, I don't want to know. And why salsa over, for me, I'm a guac guy.

Oh yeah. I'm a guacaholic. Yeah, you're a guac head. I'm a guac head. You're a guac-y. Yeah, yeah. And with salsa, salsa, sour cream, guac, where are you ranking them?

I like, I love guac. So not sour cream guy, not a sour cream guy. But what I like to do is get a big, you know, especially when they make it table side, that's the best one, they'll make the fresh guacamole. But then you get, dip some guacamole and then put it into the salsa. Try not to get the guacamole in the salsa

cause that's always disgusting when people do that. And then so then you got the double thing and that's the best, that's the greatest. Are you getting them on the corners then? Is that how you're dipping them? No, I do the flat, you know, it's the triangle. So you use the point and then you use the big scoop at the back cause I like a lot of salsa.

I will run through bowls and bowls of salsa. Great. And how spicy we're talking on the salsa? Pretty spicy. I want it pretty hot. But it's like, have you ever gotten burned at like an Indian restaurant? Most places I go to, I'll go like,

careful, sir, it's really hot, okay. And it's not hot at all. But you say that in Indian restaurant and you get fucked really badly. I mean, once I go like, I want it hot. He goes like, hot. I said, yeah, really hot, okay. And the first bite and you're like,

oh my God, what am I going to do? I'm going to die. He's gone back to the kitchen and gone, let's fuck this white guy over. Oh, totally. And he's standing there cross armed in the door like, and here he comes. So I'm just eating like, oh, yeah.

I went to a taco place in LA and they refused to give me one of the tacos cause it was too spicy. I really made it into the same. But I've been twice and both times refused to give it to me. Just cause of the look of you? Yeah, I think so.

Really? They have one that's like, you can get five different levels of spice. And I think I asked for us three and they were like, no, no, no. And I went, no, I really like spicy food. They were like, no, you can't have that one. Did you have to work your way up to it?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think I'm going to have to keep going back there and start with a one and build my way up. Well, did you have a two though? So it was that- I think I ended up respecting something different cause I panicked, but it's a fantastic place. Oh, delicious.

I think the only place where I've, cause in Indian restaurants normally, I don't say to them like, I want it hot. But they'll sometimes say, what you've just ordered is a bit hot. But I'll go for it and I'm usually fine. The only place where that's not worked out for me was also in LA at Jit Lada.

And they said like, honestly, I was quite excited about going there. I've never been before. So I Googled online the best dishes there. They said, these three, I thought I was ordering those three. I'm doing it. And they went, what you have just ordered?

Don't have that. I was like, I'm fine. Honestly. And I thought I was going to die. Yeah. Thai spice is way more ferocious than Indian spice. Do you think really? Yeah, personally.

I don't know. I don't know. It's cause we're more used to like Indian foods. Maybe, but like some of that Thai stuff is like absolute fire. Well, it's just absolute pain. You feel your tongue. And then it's just like there's a knife in your mouth. Well, I thought so amazing about it there

was that it was still delicious. But the flavor was still amazing. While it was absolutely kicking the shit out of me. So I kept on putting it in my mouth. But that's a good balance. Sometimes it's just an assault and it doesn't taste like anything other than death. Yeah, sure.

Then you're never going back. But I mean, I've been wanting to go back there now. Now I've just started talking about it. Your dream starter. Yes. Well, it's tough. I mean, is any foodie will say it's a tough question because there's so many things we like.

I mean, I've got the ones that I love. I even wrote them down just because I don't want to forget. I like frogs legs are really great. It's probably impolitic to say something like that. It's not. That's interesting though. We haven't had anyone choose frogs legs yet. I don't know we have, no.

But like from a place called Shailamie Louis in Paris. And they make them Provençal style. And so they're actually fairly graphic too. Because normally you get them like in New York there's a place called Lagrangoui that I go to. And it's just like the legs. It looks like a little mini chicken leg. But these are literally like they're cut off at the waist.

Oh, wow. So you're like, oh, okay. So, you know, you really are connecting with the animal. Wow. French people really don't give a shit today. That's right. No, I just like lop it off in your face. Down you go.

You've got to get the dick in there as well. Exactly. Excuse me, my frog doesn't have a dick. That's right. That's the best part. It's always the most disgusting part. It's the best part. Everybody always tells you.

We're all the flavorists. Exactly. But then on that, in that Escargot, I love, you know. Yeah, okay. If I go in like of a French thing. But you know, it's funny when you're trying to put together your dream menu at the dream restaurant. Do you want to go high or low?

And it's very tempting to want to go high, you know, just to be, it's like when somebody asks you what your favorite movie is, is a film like, I always have to like try to pull out some heady kind of reference where I just want to go like Napoleon Dynamite, you know. I'm on the bottom of the Holy Grail. So I feel that, but I'm fighting the pressure of that here.

But keeping in the Mexican world at the Polo Lounge in LA, they have this tortilla soup, which is unbelievable. So that could be it. And then at the Polo Bar in New York, they have a corned beef sandwich as a starter. And I think they call it salt beef here, right? Is salt beef the same as corned beef or? No, so yeah, salt beef, I think we called salt beef here.

Cause like a corned beef here is different. Cause it's like, when I first had corned beef in the US, I was like, oh, this is not, this is not the same. Cause it's more shredded and kind of like in the US, whereas here it's like. Corned beef is something you get in a tin. It's like a wartime thing. And it's like spam, it's like spam adjacent.

There's like jelly and like it. I mean, look, I love corned beef. Oh man, the corned beef sandwiches when I was a kid for lunch, I would, I hit the jackpot. If that was, if that was my lunch, in my lunch box, I was so delighted that I had a corned beef sandwich. That was what I was crossing my fingers for. But very, very different to US corned beef, I think.

You put mustard on it? You can do. Yeah, yeah. As a kid, I didn't, as a kid, I was just, I think I was just margarine and corned beef and absolutely having the time of my life. But now I would want some salad in there, some mustard. Yeah.

I want it to be more. Yeah. Cause like, you know, like the American corned beef and pastrami, I mean, it's all brisket based. And yeah, so, which is so good. But I mean, pastrami is my personal favorite because that's even leaner. But yeah, they make a sandwich there. It's kind of like, you know, toast, not even toast is like,

not fried, but you know, pan kind of seared. And then they cut it up in these little pieces and they have this beautiful deli mustard that's hot. Oh, so that's good. So I could get that. But then, I don't know, shrimp cocktail. Well, let's talk about shrimp cocktails. Yeah.

Because they're so different here and in the States. Okay. The reputation of them here is like, it's very seventies. Like it was a seventies dinner party thing, right? But also are like prawns are like so tiny here if you'd buy them from anywhere other than like an amazing fish mongers or you live on the coast.

So I just think it's difficult to find a good one. They're out there. You don't know what you get. We've had a lot of people, a lot of British people on the podcast choose a prawn cocktail is their dream. And, you know, when they're asked about it, they always specify massive prawns that are like hanging on the side of the glass or something like that.

So that's what they want. But more often than not, if you go and get it in a restaurant, you've got the little tiddlers as hardly any in there. Right. On the piece of lettuce. Yeah. And then just like very boring lettuce and...

But in the States, is it shrimp and then a cocktail sauce? It's a cocktail sauce. That's the difference. Is here in my wife always orders a shrimp cocktail in England. I'm always like, you're not going to be happy because she's always thinks it's going to be cocktail sauce. So it's not. It's that Murray Rose, which is more pink.

It's almost kind of like a, it's almost like a Thousand Island. Yeah. It's similar. It's ketchup and mayonnaise. Yeah. It's very nice. Because American cocktail sauce

is basically ketchup and horseradish. So it's really, you know, strong. And then there's some places, there's a place in St. Elmo's Fire, actually, in Indianapolis that was famous for this cocktail sauce that they put so much horseradish in that you could, like if you breathe out of your nose as you ate it, you would die.

But you had to learn how to do it. Yes, please. And that is a secret, bro. I love that as a fact. If you breathe out of your nose, you will die. It's happened before, but we're still open somehow. If you have that like hot wasabi or whatever,

like you're fine breathing in, but if you breathe out your nose, it's just like, ah, your head explodes. It's what I miss, man, about Tao Tao Zhu, man. Yeah. It's what I miss. That was sabi sauce with the prawns. It used to burn right through all of my sinuses.

And it was great. Now they've softened it. Using it as medicine. Yeah, yeah. But I know exactly what you mean, and it's a good feeling. Yeah, I like it. There you go.

Are you leaning towards anyone in particular? Yeah, I'm actually leaning towards out of the blue. And this was a dark horse because I just discovered it two months ago. I had my 60th birthday. Yeah, thank you so much. Today was the first day I used my 60 and over free subway card, and it was so depressing.

Literally, it's the old man card. You're like, push it. It just says enter. You don't even say anything. You're just like, come in. You're closer to death. You're on the train. I've got to be welcome.

Exactly. She doesn't say exit. Yeah. I mean, that's the custom here. What do you do? Picture the grim reaper. Yeah, yeah. No, so we were in Capri, Italy,

and on the last day went to this restaurant that we had never been to before called La Cappanina, and they had an eggplant parm that was unbelievable. Because I enjoy eggplant parm, but this was like, they had cut the eggplant into these ribbons, like these, I mean, micro ribbons. So the whole thing was so light, and just came this little kind of,

you know, ramekin kind of thing, and it was spectacular. So that's my starter. Yeah, I mean, that's such a great choice. Yeah, I'm a big, big fan of, I mean, we say aubergine here. Sure. Yeah, exactly.

I'm sorry. I like eggplant as a word as well. I thought it was two different things. They could not be more different though. How those words got so far. Yeah, it's not like aluminum aluminum. Yeah, I was at a party last night, somebody asked me about metals,

and I said aluminum, just because I didn't want to get shamed for pronouncing it the American way. How'd it go? It went well, and actually they kind of, they didn't take a beat to kind of question me, and I was like, I did, I passed. Yeah.

I live here now. Shout across the room to your wife. Honey, I tricked her. I did it. Her name's Laurie though, and that's a truck, so you never know. It's very confusing. Don't get confused.

Every dump's for cover if you shout Laurie, you know. Well, this sounds great. Also, I think on this pod, the more that people, if people mention something that doesn't get mentioned a lot, or that can get overlooked, I think this version of it must be really, really good. So it makes me want to try it,

because I'm like, if someone's chosen that, it must be because that particular version was like, just so much better. It was transformative, because you know, I'm a big foodie, and I've spent most of my life traveling around the world, and I probably spent most of the money I've earned on meals. I love fancy meals and all that stuff,

and this was just mind-bending, because I've had eggplant or aubergine parm before, and sometimes it's just like, they'll just cut one in half, and put the stuff on top of it, and that's kind of good, but it's kind of a mistake, but this was just like.

You need the layers, right? You need it to be layered up. Yeah, I love it. It was almost like the eggplant version of lasagna. Right, so in between each layer, they're putting like cheese and stuff. Yeah, mostly tomato, some cheese in there, and some olives and stuff,

but it was all done so light, and it just was like kind of fluffed up almost, if you will. That sounds great. Yeah, it was pretty great. Love it, and aramican as well, so it's like, so start a size. Yeah, the big cast iron kind of aramican that comes in,

but it wasn't hot. I mean, you know, you could touch it. If there's some chips left over from when they were brought, are you gonna be dipping a chip in there as well? Oh, definitely. I'm gonna scoop out some of them. And I'll get some bread too. I mean, there's a good focaccia around or something.

I'm sure we got some kicking about. We can bring some out. But Stanley was right. Stanley Tucci was talking about how the bread in Italy is not particularly great, and it's kind of true. I think they'd save it all up for the pasta and all that. So, but it's good for scraping stuff up. But what was this restaurant called again?

It's called La Caponina. Is there some of the highlights from that place that you wanna shout out before we move on? I mean, everything was really good. That one just blew everything out of my brain so much that I couldn't... It's tough, isn't it? If the starter is so good, and then the rest of the meal,

you're like, oh, I can't quite... Well, that's how you know it's good. Because Ed does a judging on Great British Menu, the TV show. And I've been lucky enough because of that to go to the banquet a couple of times because I got a hookup. And you got to judge it by the end and say what course was the best.

And you always think, well, that's unfair because I'm just gonna write dessert because it was the last thing I had. And that's what you do because you're you. Now, sure. Two years in a row I voted for the dessert. But that first year, that starter was so good that it was between those two.

And I remember thinking that starter must have been amazing that I'm still thinking about it at the end of the menu. I find that to be the case with a lot of Italian cooking for some reason because your main is more like a fish or something. So it's kind of hard to make that really exciting once you've got this really cool either a pasta starter or a parm or whatever, that kind of thing.

So like, oh, there's another place in Capri that I love called Lugertelli, which is you walk all the way over the island and it's up to like in a sea cave, it's gorgeous. But they have mama's stuffed pepper. And she makes this stuff, mama cooks on the back. That's her, it's family run. And it's so spectacular that kind of everything else,

they bring out this fresh fish and it's nice, but it just, you can't be that first starter. Mama absolutely wiping the floor with everyone. But just waiting on my stuff. And screaming yelling fights in the back. We've heard some knockdown dragon fights back there. I don't know what they're saying, but really ugly. A good stuffed pepper, man.

Oh, that's incredible. Yeah. With that kind of mystery stuffing, you know, you don't know what's in there, but it's all good. And you don't want to know. I don't know. I just don't want to know. I don't ever need to know.

Put some breadcrumbs and cheese on top. This guy's it. There you go. Listen, I just know how some of those fights end. Yeah. That's the stuff. Dreaming course. I know. Dreaming course.

It's again, it's hard. Also, I'm loving the Honorable Munchens, the amount of Honorable Munchens to the starter. I really appreciate it. I was fine when I listened to your show. I love it so much, but I'm always kind of curious. Like some people will kind of say things that they're debating on.

And I find that really fun because I just love, love hearing about food. So yeah, it was always the best. But I mean, for me, well, I mean, again, I'm gonna start. I love steak. You know, I like just a good kind of like a filet mignon or something or the Polo Bar in New York. They have the Polo Burger,

which is just this amazing hamburger that's big and thick. And it comes with French fries and all that stuff. So that, you know, that kind of stuff, that's sort of my most fun meal to have. Or like spaghetti a la vangelo. And you're in Italy with the great clams and it's just so good. Harry Hill.

Harry will pick that. Oh, that's right. Your memory for the show is incredible. Well, that's cause I didn't, I didn't know what it was when he said it. And then I got dressed in damp. I was glad I could save you on this one. I like how labor intensive it is cause it shows up

and it's like, I don't know, you enjoy those, right? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. You have to get all the shells out first, right? Yeah. Cause sometimes I'm always tempted to like, well, maybe I kind of eat around the shells. I find it a bit annoying,

but then once you've done it, it is worth it. You feel like you've earned it. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. You've done a little workout. At the same time, do you not think couldn't they have done this in the kitchen? They're just like,

couldn't they have got de-shelled all these clams in the kitchen? Cause they know I'm not going to eat them. What are they, is it to show you how fresh they are? Especially when the clams shells are extremely hot. Yeah. And then there's always a bit of pain. But I guess they've got to cook it all together, right?

Sure. Because they're cooking the clams in there and that's how they steam in the shells and they open up. Cause you can't take the clams out and then cook them in, cause then they're going to over cook them. Maybe there should be a bit of theater with the waiter coming out

and being like, bring the dish out. And then in front of you, with some like cool techniques with cutlery. Yeah. Yo, de-shell all of them. And you flip in the shells, flip in the shells left, right, and center

to like bins behind them and stuff. I'd be like, there you go. And it's all done for you. It's not a bad idea. I like it. I think it's good. Cause that's what the aubergine thing reminded me of is when the three of us went to New York

and they bought out my aubergine and the guy just completely, you know, just, just carved it out. Did an autopsy. Oh, like with a fish. Yeah. It was like, it was grilled, wasn't it? It was a grilled aubergine

and that was pretty much all it was in an Italian restaurant with like olive oil on it. And he, he just like criss-crossed it and then shredded it all up. So it was all delicious. Nice. Which meant that I then copied it at home. So maybe that's why they don't do that

in front of you with the clams. What are you stealing there? Cause now I just do it at home. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't fit into that restaurant ever again. He's going to learn we don't need it. He doesn't need us. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also you shouldn't be trying the clam thing at home. You're right. That's irresponsible. I could invent it. I could be the one who invents that. Well, have you been to Mr. Chow's? They do that.

It's, it's a Chinese restaurant. There's one here, I know. But there's one in Beverly Hills and they come out, the, the noodle chef comes out and does it in front of you. Like they do a big show. I've seen that, yeah. I've seen that done before.

It's very cool. It's amazing. It's like magic. They just keep pulling it and it gets thinner and thinner and more and more. It's incredible to watch that. Don't try that at home, James. It would not go well.

We're going to talk about Benihana before moving on or is that crass? Oh, Kimmel. Yeah. When it comes to the theater of food. I enjoy a Benihana visit. Yeah, yeah. I, I, I like, it's fun.

I think all of my knowledge of Benihana has come from watching American sitcoms where there will be an episode when they go to a Benihana. Of course. In the American office, of course. Yeah. That's right.

My dad took it. Well, I made, I made my parents take me to one once and when we were in Chicago, cause I desperately wanted one. I was like nine or 10. My dad's like, oh, he was, he didn't like anything like that. So he's like, ah, this is going to be a disaster.

For some reason he was counting on being disaster. So there he is sitting there, guys doing the thing. You know, he does, he does this one moment where they'll like cut up the shrimp and he'll pop it onto your plate from far away. Yeah, that's so good. Pop it on all the plates. Yeah.

Goes right onto my dad's tie. Giant, brand new tie, big things. God damn it. Oh, that's the one guy. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. But that happens. Cause sometimes I'm that guy. I can be grumpy and my dad's the same.

And I think you attract the bad thing happening to you. I don't agree. Cause it's just when everyone's on edge, cause there's one sort of bad energy in the room. And then it always happens to that guy. And then it just tips over the whole night's ruin. Yeah. Well, that's like when you take somebody

to your favorite restaurant. Like I was with, you know, when my wife and I first started dating, I had all these restaurants. I really liked Chinese restaurants and stuff. And she's like, oh, I don't like the look of them or they seem gross or whatever. Just cause then, you know,

they didn't, they weren't the highest in places. I'm like, no, that's great. It's great every single time. There'd be a hair in her food. She'd see a cockroach on the ground. And it's just like, I've never seen it any other time. Why is it happening with you? I would love it if I went to a Benny Harner with Ed

and he got a shrimp flung at his tie. I would be the best for you ever. Whether you got grumpy about it or not. Yeah, I would. I would be very excited in the moment when it happened. Yeah. I'd say I'm never wearing a tie again. Yeah.

I'm never wearing a tie. I've never worn a tie out to dinner before. And the first time I do it, shrimp hits it. I'm never wearing a tie again. James used to buy him a tie with a big target on the front. Am I doing it? Yeah, yeah. Am I doing it with a shrimp just out of it?

Can you do it? But so those are all what I thought about getting, but what I would get is from the infamous Gardens of Tesco with the menu that they say in the two jokes. They make a garlic shrimp that is unbelievable. And it's not what it sounds like. It's kind of the curled up shrimp, you know, just cooked in this very kind of thick garlic sauce

that's tomato-based and it's just so amazingly good. And I just eat a mountain of it. How much shrimp is in there? Because that's what I always want to know before I order shrimp. I'm with you. You always get ripped off on shrimp. Always. They're pretty good here.

Do you actually, in one order, you'll probably get, I mean, I would dare say 10 or 15 shrimp. Oh, wow, hello. Yeah. Because that's the worst when you get like a shrimp curry and they're like, oh, there's three and they're not big. It's like that thing of never going to a restaurant and order fish on a Monday, right?

Is it on a Monday? Or get the special fish dish on a Monday because it's them just trying to get all of the fish out that they've had over the weekend before the new delivery comes in. If you can do that a lot. I love Monday fish. You love your Monday shrimp, your Monday fish.

He's a Monday fish. What's the rule with oysters and red tide? I never can figure that out in the R. And there's something with oysters, there's red tide, which I guess means if you eat them, you'll die or something. And then, but they also say, don't get oysters in months with an R. I don't know what the rule is.

There just seems to be some rule. That feels too neat a phrase. It feels like that matches up too perfectly. Well, yeah. The oysters aren't so bad. The oysters aren't so bad. It's going like, there's an R, okay. The oysters aren't going, well, I better go back.

It's January now. I don't know what the rule. Just know that there's something they say. I'm trying not to listen because I love oysters. I would have them whenever. I would have them whenever. I'm going to be in my head now. If I get one any other month from now,

I'm going to be like, red tide. That's right. So it's like red tide to people. This is my issue with oysters. Whenever I order a thing of oysters with somebody, that person will pick up the fucking lemon and immediately put it on the thing. And it drives me crazy.

Sure, sure. Because I don't necessarily want it on. You don't need it to be mother with that. Shall I be mother? They pick up the lemon, put it all over everything. It's like, who said that we all want, I don't know. I mean, you might like lemon.

I like lemon. If I'm sharing a dish, whatever it is, whether it's oysters or whatever, it comes with a wedge of lemon, I'll always pick up the lemon wedge and I say, shall I lemon? That's good. Shall I lemon? You've always got to check and say shall I lemon.

You have to ask. You have to ask. Otherwise, I'm happy to individually lemon my pieces. Right, there you go. But that's how a civilized person is. But there's just something. People just like, they just commandeer it and I don't know. But what doesn't make sense to me is,

lemon is kind of like a salt substitute, basically. And so you're just salting something that's already salty. So why, I don't know. Also with oysters, it's like, it's a very particular thing for yourself. It's like what you're going to put on it and then eat it. You want to do that. The ceremony of it is really nice.

I don't want anyone else putting anything on my oyster. I want to be able to get each one, decide, I want lemon personally, shallots and some hot sauce. Tobasco. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I'm happy. All I do is Tobasco, that's it. That's it?

Yep. Oyster now. We've got martinis. We're probably going to bring any oysters with you. Oyster combo. Depends, you know, that's the joy of it. They all come on their own little plates, don't they? So you can mix it up.

How do you mix it up? Sometimes just Tobasco. Minioné. Sometimes if I'm in America, then they've got the cocktail sauce. Put that on as well. That's great. But sometimes just a straight oyster, guys.

Yeah. Wow. It's a really good region. There's one's called Beau Soleil that I love in the East Coast. It's a TV series here. Yeah, was it? Yeah, he wore masks of funny celebrities. And then he said like,

he said like different catchphrases for like each celebrity. Yeah, really? Yeah, yeah. It's kind of, it's not aged well, but like that's what I used to do. Yeah, Beau Soleil. Now what about raw clams? I don't think I've really had raw clams, you know.

That's really good. I've had raw razor clam before. Oh, razor clam. Oh, and cooked razor clams for you to get it. Oh, with the garlic and all that. So good. Those are transcendent. But no, like a good clam, like a little neck clam,

like the oyster bar in Grand Seltzer Station in New York, they're great because they're small. And what you do is you get those and then you get the cocktail sauce. So really hot and you just really soak them in that. I love it. Good stuff. I love it.

I really want to try this cocktail sauce now that I didn't know existed because I just assumed shrimp cocktail was the same as prawn cocktail over here. And now I've discovered there's this horseradish cocktail that if you drink for your nose, you die. Yeah. I don't know what's happening.

So we move on to your dream side dish. Yes. I struggle with side dishes sometimes because they're never usually that exciting. You know, they're usually more like, it's more alleviates the guilt of the main. Sure. You know, like if you get a steak,

it's like, okay, I should get some broccoli or something. Yeah. Something, some kind of green thing. But my favorite side is redditouille. Nice. Actually, has anyone actually chosen ratatouille properly? I don't think so. Oh, good.

I got a first time. A lot of references to the film. There's been a lot of chatatouille. A lot of chatatouille, not enough ratatouille. I was worried it might be the secret ingredient. No. I might get thrown out. With the minute you, one week you did Portobello's

and I was like, oh no, like anything could happen on this episode. So I could stumble into something really terrible. I mean, also the ratatouille, I would say, because we talked about the film a lot on the podcast. And I do think the ratatouille in ratatouille looks better than any ratatouille I've ever had. I love the way it looks, the colors.

Because of the thin slices of the way it's all lined up. It's made by a rat. Yeah, it's made by a rat. It's made by a rat. I love it. Well, the one I love is from a place called Cocote, which is, there's one by us in Chelsea, but I think there's another one in Notting Hill.

That is the roast chicken place. We were talking about this earlier. We were literally talking about it on an earlier episode. We've recorded three episodes today. And the first episode, I was talking about how I love the salads there. Yeah. Oh my God. In the chicken.

I had it for lunch. I haven't had the chicken yet. I've had the chicken soup, which I think is delicious. So I used to live near one, so I could get it delivered. But now I live too far away. Gutted. Absolutely gutted. It's too far tomorrow.

It's fantastic. And I didn't know they did a ratatouille there. Oh, their ratatouille is spectacular. Absolutely spectacular. Maybe that's what I'm getting tonight now. Because I know I could get that at my house. And the other thing they have, which is a great side dish too,

which is my secondary one, is their chips are fantastic. They do these, you know, they're made with like, they put herbs on top of them and they do truffle ones too. I don't like truffle fries. It's too much. Yeah, it gets a lot, doesn't it? Yeah. Because it's never real truffles.

Yeah. Is that truffle oil? The first time you had them, were they exciting? Truffle fries? Truffle, they were titillating. Because it didn't seem like you should be having them. So it felt very, but it quickly,

when it's that truffle oil, it's just too, it's like truffle concentrate, which can be a little bit much. That's when I felt like Ed and I knew that we were properly just like spoilt little boys now. It's when we were saying like, for secret ingredient, put truffle oil on there. It's not nice.

It's nice for like the first few times you had it. It's not real truffle. But they've overdone it now and we don't like truffle oil. Awful, what a couple of awful guys. Well, I've not had the fries from their either. Sorry, I'll get the fries on the round too. Do they still do the like roasted potatoes as well?

Yeah. They're fantastic as well. Yeah, those are really great. What a place, I miss that place. That's all good. You can move on to mine on Saturday. Let's eat it for lunch. Yes.

And they weirdly travel well too. Those fries, you know, chips really travel well. It's only two blocks from our house, but still. Sometimes, you know, a chip, the minute it leaves the store, it just all falls apart. Nothing worse than the sausage. We order from a place now and again where when you order on the website, it says,

oh, when you get the fries, put the oven on when you order and then put them onto a baking tray to warm them up and like freshen them up when they arrive. If I wanted to do that, I would have cooked something. Yeah. What are you talking about? It's a takeaway. You've wore chicken arrives.

Yeah. Marinate that. Brine it for two days. Yeah. Enjoy your takeaway. Unbelievable. So the ratatouille at... Cook code, yeah.

Yeah, so what's like going on there? What makes it better than ever? You know, they have all the vegetables and the peppers and all that and zucchini, I guess, and all, but it's the sauce that it's in. It's got almost like a, again, I just love tomato, anything with like a tomato sauce, but tomato sauce sounds too reductive.

It almost sounds like a marinara or something. It's very flavorful, extra flavorful, almost kind of like a brownish, you know, tomato-y look. And it just kind of comes together great and it's kind of perfectly shaped. They do it more in chunks as opposed to the ratatouille movie slices and it's just tender and, you know, it always arrives really hot and it's just, I don't know,

and it's got a bit of spice to it too. So it's not dull. I think it's a great choice as well, because you said that side dishes are to alleviate guilt, but you've got something with vegetables in it, so you've got that element to it, but also it's rich and it's delicious and it feels like a treat as well. Exactly, so it doesn't feel like homework.

No. Does it take you back to your childhood like Antonie go in the film? No, my mom, bless her heart, was a terrible cook. And it surpassed only by my grandmother, who was the worst cook in the world, but who was presented to me as the world's best cook. Oh, wow.

So talking about a mind fuck, I thought I didn't like food for the first 12 years of my life because your grandmother's chicken soups, the greatest, it tastes like nothing. I literally just didn't use salt or anything, so it just was like this sludge, but they would all wax poetic about it. Then my mom was Canadian and so she would make beef stews

and stuff, which were okay, but they just didn't have any flavor. Like nobody knew about spices where I was from in Michigan at the time. So why was everyone bigging up your grandma's cooking? To keep her happy or did they genuinely think it was good? He thought it was great, but he had a very, that palate, my grandmother was Jewish, my dad,

it's that cooking where they don't want any sodium, so nobody will dive a heart attack. So everything's just taken down so many levels. And then, and she would boil chickens. Like boiled chickens, it's like, unless it's in a soup, it's in a good soup, because my wife makes an amazing chicken soup. I can tell you her secret ingredient too.

Oh yeah? Ketchup. Ketchup in the soup. Which is crazy, yeah, but ketchup in the soup, and it just, it gives it enough kind of sweet and savory. Oh nice. It brings it to life. And if only my grandmother had a bottle of ketchup

in the house. I can see why your dad was so shot when someone threw a shrimp, it is tied now. Growing up having a bland chicken soup, and suddenly. That's got seasoning on it. Your grandmother hit me with a boiled chicken. Well, I mean, yeah, I like the thought

of you having a mouthful of the ratatouille, and going backwards like Angel Ego did, but just ended up in a kitchen with your mom shugging at you like, but I don't know. Yeah. Very underwhelming. Yeah, yeah, sorry. And then back to.

No, it was only the first time I had Mexican food that I actually discovered I liked food. Oh wow. Yeah, and it was a salsa. The first thing I ever had that blew my mind was, we went to the, they opened some restaurant called Cheechies or something by our house, and they brought chips and salsa.

I was like, what's this? And tried the salsa. I was like, I can taste it. Then you zoom back into some Mexican kids' childhoods. This is my childhood. It's my childhood. I'm playing guitar all over the place. Everyone's looking at you.

Who are you? Who are you? They taste some salsa. I can taste. Another kid from the Cheechies restaurant with bad parent-to-ships. Happens all the time. Have you been on Ratatouille Adventure Benito in Disney?

So I can talk about it? Oh. He doesn't like it if I talk about rides that he hasn't been on, because then it's spoilers. Yeah, exactly. It's a really great ride. Really?

The whole thing is really 4D. And my favorite bit is when you go under the oven and they properly heat it from the top. So you feel it? Yeah, you probably feel it. And it's very exciting, actually. Oh. I didn't not know the answer.

I would recommend it. Very good. I will definitely. I'm a good name-drop, but I'm good friends with Pat Nazwald, who is the voice of the rat. Has he been on it, do you know? I don't know.

I'm sure he's invited to the opening. I wouldn't pay him. I guess he probably had to record stuff for the ride as well, right? Or did it sound like a fake rat? I think that sounded like Pat Nazwald. Yeah, I think it sounded pretty legit, actually. Yeah, so maybe he has been on it

and been under the big heater. Text him, say, have you been under the big heater? Don't give any context. He'll know what you're talking about. If he's been on the ride, he'll know what you're talking about. Now, I mean, this is gonna be, I'm sure there's a lot of honorable mentions,

although, can we even call them that for the drink course, for this one? Because obviously, just for these cocktail time, there's a lot of drinks that you like. Was this very hard to decide what your dream drink was? It is, it is, because I would never end with a martini. To me, a martini, you start the evening with. There's something about half the food.

We've got that for you. Yeah, that's safe, that's at the top of the meal. And we're going with martini with your gin, with the lemon twist. Yeah, at the top. But a martini's too thin at the end of a meal. You need something like thicker tasting, however weird that sounds.

So it's a toss-up for me. I got three contenders. One is a Scropino, you ever had that? Oh, it's great, it's an Italian drink. Basically, it's vodka, and like lemon sorbet, and I think a bit of, maybe a bit of cream in there, and they blend it. Where can I go to get one of these right now?

You have just absolutely, what the hell? Did we just blow your mind? Yeah. Actually, you know where they make a great one, is at Luchio on Fulham Road. There you go. We had been told about them by a friend of ours in LA, and so we, when we were in Italy,

he's like, we gotta find one. And so we were told it was a Grapino. So we go everywhere. Like, do you have a Grapino? Grapino, what's that? No, I'm sorry, we do not have a Grapino. Everywhere we go, like, Grapino, no. And I was like, it doesn't exist.

Find out it's called a Scropino. I'm like, really? You couldn't have put that S on the front. You go back to all of the places that you went, sorry, I've been a Scropino, sir, that was three weeks ago. You're still holding those grunts? Yes, I am.

He was one letter off. But they're, oh, they're spectacular. So there's that, but then I like, I love dessert drinks that have heavy cream in them. Even though I'm lactose intolerant, so look out below, exactly. Take a pill, get stuck in, yeah. It's worth it, it's worth it.

So a grasshopper, which is an old-timey drink because it's like creme d'amant, and you know, it's like a pepperminty kind of drink, but it's just so good, and it's blend, but you know, it's heavy cream. So that's a fun one, and it looks fine. Every, if I ever make a grasshopper for anybody, they love it. Like, I've never had anybody have any other response

other than, oh my God, this is amazing. It sounds amazing. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'll tell, I'll order that immediately. Yeah, there you go. So that's great. And then a Manhattan, but a perfect Manhattan, which is, you know, a Manhattan is usually whisky or rye with sweet vermouth and some bitters,

but a perfect Manhattan, you take the one ounce of sweet vermouth and you make it half ounce of sweet vermouth and a half ounce of dry vermouth. So it keeps it just being from a little too, sometimes a Manhattan could be a little too cloyingly sweet. I think the first time I heard someone order a perfect Manhattan, I thought they were just being a really difficult customer.

I know, yeah. It sounds like that's the only thing they do. Yeah, it really does. I want a perfect Manhattan, please. It was after them and I was like, and I was like a perfect Bloody Mary. But I'll be perfect. I know, it's an unfortunate name, but no,

but they're fantastic. Yeah, really, really good. I mean, definitely the more that like, you know, I have cocktails, the more that I even want them to just taste exactly like a pudding or very boozy and like, you know, just get rid of all the sweetness and have it like that. I don't like anything in the middle.

Yeah, I'd say I don't like the sweet ones if they have like a creamy kind of like. I think the scrappino will be your favorite. I mean, absolutely. Is it sort of limoncello sort of thing? Or I guess it's the same. I think there actually is a little bit of limoncello in there too, but it's mostly the, you know,

the lemon sorbet that does it, and then the vodka that they're just support. But they have to whip it up really, really well so that it's light, but also that you can drink it. Cause I don't like drinking out of a straw. So I always like to drink it, you know, right from the, it comes in a champagne fluid usually. Oh, nice.

Yeah, so there you go. You're definitely gonna get one of those, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna be looking for that at every single menu. You can make that. You can make that. I can make it. Yeah.

My first one to be made by myself. Cause like, do I know if it's done right? Is there a recipe for that in here? Not for the scrappino, but there is one for the grasshopper. I do the grasshopper. You do the grasshopper. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely.

You do the grasshopper. You'll be having grasshoppers this Saturday. Yeah. When you come home. The scrappino is a lot of labor intensive. There's blenders and all that stuff. Yeah. You want to get involved with that.

I'm looking forward to Saturday at your house. Yeah, yeah. Ratatouille and grasshoppers. Yeah. It's meant to be coming over to see my new cat, but we're going to have a lovely cocktail afternoon. Which new cat's name? Terry.

Oh, good. Excellent. I love cats. Well, James, show Paul a picture of your cat, and then we'll see if he still loves cats. Well, Paul doesn't know me well enough to be rude about my cats. Uh-oh.

Is it a rescue? No. Well, no. Well, yes. Actually, it kind of is, but... Is it alive? It's alive. I promise you.

Even if it doesn't look like it is in the photo. Oh, he's a hairless. Oh, okay. A hairless cat called Terry. Well, my new movie that's out on Netflix right now has a hairless cat in it. So there you go. Do you show it in a good light, Paul?

I do. In a very good light. Although we had to... We actually... He's not in the movie as much as he was going to be, but one thing about the male hairless, if you know what I'm about to say, their balls stick way out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had to digitally take his balls off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he'd be in shots like walking around with his butt in front of one of my lead actors' faces and these enormous nuts were on the back. 100%. December 4th, that's when those babies are going.

There you go. March in the calendar. Bad luck, Terry. No one needs to see those. So you didn't notice those in the casting process? No. The big balls. No, we didn't.

Because we were just looking, oh, he's so cute looking from the front. Oh, he's perfectly perfect. And then he literally gets on camera and the ass comes up in the air and you're like, oh my God. He knows to keep that quiet. That's not going on his CD or anything.

But who knew that that's what fur was covering up on other cats? Oh, yeah. It's Matt. My cat is a big hairy cat. But yeah, before we had those balls taken off, big hairy balls swinging around in the back. It's just so embarrassing for everyone.

I know, but you just have to absolutely project out of the room when those come out, come parading through. So basically that cat cost you a lot more money in the... It did. And then we ended up cutting it out and cutting the balls shot out. And then they were all gone.

Cats be told that by its agent. Now they've cut out your balls shots. What? Yeah, I can phone them if you like, but it's going to be a bit of a... Let's just say the balls had a separate agent. That's not going to work. Yeah.

I'm upset the cat's balls. You can talk to me about this. So which of the three cocktails are you choosing? I'm going to choose the Scrippino. Nice. Great. Delicious. Great choice.

I mean, it's my favorite cocktail. Yeah. I think I always have a favorite one. So we arrive at your dream dessert. Now, I mean, you just said a minute ago that you don't like cocktails too sweet. I might be scared here. Is there a cheese board on the horizon?

No, I know well enough to not be with a cheese board. No, I mean, as much as I do enjoy like a cheese course, like if we're in Paris and they come around with that cart, I won't substitute dessert for that. Praise Jesus. It was going so well. I didn't want to get thrown out in the last minute. I would have loved it.

Well, again, I'm so indecisive. I got a high and low and I'm trying to figure out which one. What I love, there's a place in, I talk about La Grande-Hui where they have the frogs legs in New York, they make this amazing passion fruit souffle that's so good. And then they pour this, that passion fruit syrup in the middle of it and that's so good.

But then the other side of me, like, I just want like a butterscotch sundae. Just a straight up, you know, great vanilla ice cream, really good hot butterscotch. Because sometimes when you fly, you know, occasionally I get flown first class when I'm, you know, by the studio. And on American Airlines, they will come around after, you know, like, would you like a sundae?

And they'll make you a sundae. Oh my God. And it's so good. But the ice cream is always so frozen, like a block of ice cream. Yeah, of course, yeah. But you just like trying to get through it because you're so desperate.

I think that's your absolute dream, isn't it? The dream luxury moment. Just to hear, would you like a sundae? Yeah, absolutely. 30,000 feet in the air. Yeah, yeah, wherever I am, if someone, I mean, I remember being on a plane once and they brought along like ice cream,

like covered in like, like a strawberry ice kind of ice like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a, like a chalk ice, like, and that was a nice surprise. I'd never had ice cream just dropped off in front of me before and they came across and did them. And I was absolutely delighted. Also, I wasn't delighted when they dropped it in front of me because I'd already seen them starting doing it

further down the plane. Yeah. And I was like, I can't believe this is going to happen to me. In building anticipation. Yeah, it was so exciting. And so just that was exciting. Let alone if someone came along and said, do you want a sundae?

Yeah. I mean, just any time in my life, if someone's asked me if I want a sundae, that's very exciting. It is a nice thing. I feel like Macaulay Culkin. But the nightmare on a plane is sometimes you see them coming and you're like, they're going to run out.

They're going to run out. And they do run out. That's always my feeling. It's always the one thing I can eat on the menu is they always run out. It's always the pasta cores, which I try to stay. Because I don't want to be sitting on a plane eating pasta sitting like a lump.

So I try to avoid that. But I mean, if I had a pic, I would probably actually go for a sundae. Can I not gain weight in the dream restaurant? You can't gain weight if you don't want to. OK, good. Excellent. And if you want, we can transport you

onto a plane for the sundae if you want that to happen. That's what I would like to be sitting on a plane. It'd be a real plane, or we can just have the set of a plane. That'd be great. Like, yeah, you can just pop over there. Yeah. We can take the plane from Bridesmaids.

Oh, there you go. You could either play the seat on there. I would encourage you, the next time you watch Bridesmaids, to look at the windows in our plane, because it makes me laugh still, because we thought we were so clever, we had like puffs of smoke going by outside. And it looks ridiculous.

Clearly, the plane was going about two miles an hour, if you can see the clouds going by right outside. Well, if anyone's looking at the windows of that, I do do that. We failed. There's a lot of stuff going on in that plane seat. Yeah, there's plenty going on in that seat. A lot of stuff going on between all the characters.

If anyone's going, I was looking at the windows. Exactly. You missed the point of the film. Oh, there's always some nerd out there. You could take it down for something like that. Somebody's watched it a million times, which case any criticism is invalid. Exactly.

Because they watched it so much. That's right. And I say that as a nerd, so I'm not slamming anyone. I'll put you on that plane. With that cast, do you want all that cast around you? Would they be good to share a Sunday with? Yes. Yeah, they're all lovely.

They're all wonderful people. I would do that. So it's just vanilla ice cream and butscotch sauce in there, or anything else in there? No, I don't like nuts on there or anything, or the little chocolatey things. I think they're called jimmies, but I think that that's actually got a really bad etymology.

Yeah. I've heard, yeah. So but whatever those little candies are. Yeah. No, I just straight up, I just love butterscotch. That was my favorite thing when I was a kid, like to come home from school and get like this in America, the brocks, and it comes in and just pour it all over the ice

cream. That was good. Last time I was on a plane, I was just coming back from America last week. I didn't get a Sunday, but I did find on the entertainment system a competition, a Ben and Jerry's competition. And I watched that for quite some time. What do you mean?

It was like Bake Off, but with ice cream. Oh, really? But by Ben and Jerry's. Sponsored by Ben and Jerry's. So Ben and Jerry's had done it. A coin was called cone champs or something. And each episode was, you've got to resurrect this dead Ben and Jerry's flavor from the graveyard and improve on it.

Or Ludacris has got a flavor that you want to make for him that is based around Ludacris. Oh, but they don't give you a recipe. You just got to go for it. There's a whole pantry. You're running there. You all grab different stuff. And then Ludacris comes on the screen.

But then you have to stand around for a long time while it gets cold. Yeah, well, no, they're against the clocks. So some of them, you know, were like, this isn't going to be cold in time. And they're absolutely part of the drama. They're panicking. So yeah, that happens every week, pretty much.

That show is so perfect for you that I bet you were just gutted that you weren't hosting it. Yeah, well, I was delighted. I was on a seven hour flight. I'll tell you that much. But like, yeah, I was like, how did this person get to host it? They don't even seem to like ice cream now. But like, yeah, I mean, you know,

that they have different guest judges. I was like, oh, why isn't this me? I'd love to be a judge on something like this. Everyone seems to be doing a pretty good job with their ice creams as well. It's quite exciting. And Ben and Jerry's, you know, they're big on chunks. And I'm sensing you're not a chunk guy with ice cream.

If it's like a chocolate chip kind of thing. Yeah, then I'm all for that. Yeah, but not like cookie dough. No, no, no, no, that's not in a civilized world. I want to live in an uncivilized world. Well, if you make ice cream, you know, I've made ice cream a couple of times. You go, oh my God, like it's no wonder it's so hard on you.

Either everything terrible, wonderful, but terrible in there. It's just it's an assault. It's the best lactose intolerance. Yeah, that's a true assault. I had to make an ice cream for Kevin Bacon once. And he said the main role was no bacon. Really? That was a shame. Really? I mean, what?

He said no bacon. What's this? They had to make an ice cream for Kevin Bacon. Oh, I thought you were making ice cream for Kevin Bacon. I made an ice cream for Kevin Bacon. I thought you said the day. Oh, we heard on the show. You thought I made an ice cream for Kevin Bacon.

Yeah, we were confused because I would have thought if you at one point in your life, you'd have to make an ice cream from Kevin Bacon. It might have come up on the podcast. I was going to say, that's one degree of Kevin Bacon right there. Sorry, actually. That's a great name for a Kevin Bacon ice cream. Oh, my God.

Come on, James, get on there. Zero degrees of Kevin Bacon. It was me. Yes, I misremembered. Just own it, just own it. I made the ice cream for Kevin Bacon. He was Kira Sedgwick, you made it for him. So you're one away.

Knowing the Ben and Jerry's thing, they were like, you've got to make a favour of ice cream based around Kevin Bacon. And his main role was no bacon. And they were all absolutely devastated. Because they were all going to do it. They went, I know exactly what I'm going to do. Yeah, but Paul have come up with a better idea.

Yeah. Zero degrees of Kevin Bacon. Yeah, we like that. Well, actually, the ice cream flavour was called six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Because he gave him his six favourite flavours of ice cream. And they had to see how many they could incorporate into the ice cream.

And some went for all six. I don't think those ones worked. No, I still like getting an ice butter, I think. Yeah, I think so. I think yours is nicer than this. It's more of a pun. It works with ice cream. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah. Everyone's happy. That would be better. And you think that Kevin Bacon plus a whole writing team and people making a TV show could have thought of that. Yeah. So they should all be ashamed of themselves. That's right, really.

Plus all the people who work for Ben and Jerry's involved. Yeah. Well, the host who clearly doesn't like ice cream. Yeah, the host who couldn't give a shit where she was. I gave him an ice cream themed on his role in The Invisible Man. And it would should be an empty pot. Hollow Man. Hollow Man.

It was an Invisible Man show. Yeah, but Hollow Man's even better for it. Yeah, Hollow Man, yeah. Because it opened it up. Bad luck. Yeah, he was nasty in that film, though. He was very nasty. Well, someone made an ice cream based around his character

in River Wild and that's a very nasty character. What would the wicker man ice cream be? Full of bees. He's opened it. It says bees attack your face. I don't read your menu back to you now. See how you feel about it. OK, I'm nervous.

You would like a Jim Martini to start. Yes. And then water, sparkling, Papa Dom's or Bread, Chips and Salsa from Gardens of Taxco. Yes, correct. Starter, Eggplant Palm from La Cappanina. Cappanini. Cappanina, Cappanina.

Cappanina in Capri. Main course, Garlic Shrimp from Gardens of Taxco also. Side dish, Ratatouille from Cocote. Drink, Scrippino. Scrippino, yeah. Dessert, The Sunday on a Plain, about the Scotch Sunday on a Plain, with the Bridesmaids cast.

And the plane is not a normal plane. It's a set plane on a film. Exactly, with smoke blowing past the window. With smoke blowing past the window, which could be end vaping at the window. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I'll vape at the window. I would prefer that, actually.

Only bubblegum flavor. That's a great menu. That's fantastic. It's so balanced as well. Like, I could actually, I could see myself eating that menu from the beginning to the end, yeah. And feeling good about it.

Well, it's kind of, two countries come together. You've got Mexico over here and you've got Italy over here and a little bit of America thrown in the middle. And the Sundays are a lovely way to round off, I think. Yeah, I know. Who's not happy when they're having a Sunday, really? I mean, most people like hot fudge and fair enough.

I can't have chocolate because I can't have caffeine. So I go crazy. I get very excited whenever, like, you're at a table, there's a lot of people. And it's usually when it's my family and someone has the idea of ordering Sundays and having Sundays and everyone's got them. That's when I like it the most.

I don't actually don't like it if I'm the only one with a Sunday. There's a lot of focus on you. Yeah, but if we've all got them and we're all eating our Sundays, that's good stuff. So we'll order some for the whole bridesmaids cast. There you go. Excellent. If you ever walk down the street eating an ice cream cone,

people's, like, just seeing the faces of people coming towards them, like, double takes, and like, people go crazy. Like, everybody then wants an ice cream cone. It's sort of the most, I don't know, viral kind of dessert you can... Yeah, it spreads like a yawn. I don't think I can walk down the street

with an ice cream cone anymore because if I bump into people who listen to this podcast, they just laugh their heads off that they're seeing me eating ice cream in public. I did it in Seattle, got on Molly Moons, which is, like, some of the best ice cream I have ever had in Molly Moons in Seattle. And I had three massive scoops.

He sent me a picture. It was insane. So Ed thought a baby was holding it because of how small my hand looked at this homemade waffle cone. It was, like, humongous. But the whole thing was incredible. But I walked from there back to my hotel, which was a two-hour walk to, like,

Molly in this ice cream, but bumped into someone who knew the podcast and they could not stop laughing. Of course. Seeing me with this massive kind of cone of ice cream that was, like, seeing me. You see me walking through the street with a cheese board. That would make me very happy. Paul, thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you for having me on. It's been an honour. Thank you, Paul. Thank you very much to Paul Feig for coming in. Very exciting to have him. James is hammered now. I'm full drunk. I'm less drunk because you might have heard that Paul spilled some.

He's one of the drinks he knocked and spilled half of, and that's the one I got given. So I feel pretty good right now. It gave me an idea, because I definitely felt a little bit of a buzz there. Oh, you always get the buzz. And I thought, man, those juke's ones that we hear so much about,

I can see how that could be the case now. Because I thought, one martini, this will be fine. No, by the end, I was saying I made ice cream for Kevin Bacon. Absolutely loved that bit. I loved all of it. What a lovely chat. And also, it's very odd that he didn't say bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant. Strange. I thought he would have taken an opportunity

to promote one of his films and chose bad meat from a Brazilian restaurant, but he did not. He did not. So luckily, we got to talk to him for his whole menu, which I thought was very good. It's a delicious menu. The cocktail was delicious that he made it. So make sure you pick up a copy of Cocktail Time by Paul Feig. So you can make those cocktails yourself at home.

And, you know, if you're looking for a gin, art installs. Get art installs, man. That was a delicious gin. It was. It was very nice indeed. Great for a martini. Thank you very much for listening to the Off Menu podcast. We will see you again next week. Bye-bye.

Hello. It's me, Amy Glendale. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato. And our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by Amy Glendale. She's a great cook. She's a great cook.

She's a great cook. She's a great cook. She's a great cook. She's a great cook. She's a great cook. She's a great cook. It's never been the same since. And I am joined by me, Ian Smith.

I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case. Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the new stories that we've missed out from the north, because, look, we're two Northerners.

Sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News. We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glendale's mum on every episode.

That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.