Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 197: Jenny Eclair

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

Why would anyone do that? Good question, Jenny Eclair. The Taskmaster star and legendary stand-up is this week’s diner in the Dream Restaurant.Trigger warning: this episode contains chat about eating disorders and depression. Jenny Eclair is on tour with ‘Sixty Plus (FFS!)’. For dates and tickets visit jennyeclair.comListen to Jenny’s podcast ‘Older & Wider’ wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow Jenny on Twitter @jennyeclair and Instagram @jennyeclair1960Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's Ed and James from Off Menu here. Well, I hate to do this, but Nishkumas got a new standup special coming out, James. Yeah, listen, he's our friend. Yeah. So even if this was awful, we'd have to plug it. Yeah. Here's the problem. He sent it to me.

He asked me, can you watch it, just give me any notes on the edit. Yeah. Just, you know, that'd be really helpful. He knew it was already perfect. He sent it to me to make me feel inadequate. And it worked. Because the whole show was immaculate. I'm very annoyed that he did that to me, but I'm very excited for the public to see this special.

Well, he didn't ask me for notes, because he doesn't value my opinions. I'm happy to say it's probably quite bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you and Nish, you've known each other for longer than I've known even of you. And so he already knows that he's in your head. Also, I was there when it was recorded.

You watched it. Yeah, it is really good. So we knew that it all had got here. This is what you get if you ask us to plug your special mesh. Your power, your control is on sky comedy on demand from August 25th. Fuck you, Nish. T. T.

Welcome to the off menu podcast, peeling the garlic clove of conversation, putting it in the crusher of good times and frying it in the oil of the internet. I just eat in garlic. I just eat in garlic. Well, that's the start of the recipes in it. That's the start of most good recipes. My kind of party. That is a gamble. My name is James A. Kaster. So it was a party. This is the off-backing podcast we own a drink restaurant. We invite a guest to the

every single week. We ask them their favourite ever start a main course. Does it say a drink? Not in that order. And this week I guess it's Jenny. Jenny Claire, Jenny Claire, a brilliant comedian. Are we approaching national treasure? You know that we're going to the beach. We've got a big shovel and we're digging up some national treasure. We don't even need a metal detector. We don't even need a metal detector because everyone's trying to dig to get this national treasure.

One of the best treasures there is. One of the best treasures there is. Treasure, treasure. Just you, treasure, and that. I absolutely love Jenny Aclair, an amazing comedian. I'm absolutely brilliant on Taskmaster recently. I'm looking forward to it. So as of recording, it's not gone out yet. I think the first episode is tomorrow,

Ed, however, has seen the whole series because he does the Taskmaster podcast. Yes. So I always have to stop myself and ask him, Ed, what happened? Yes, but I don't think it's a massive spoiler to say that Jenny is fantastic on the series. Yeah, well, I'm very much looking forward to seeing Jenny Claire on taskmaster. A match made in heaven.

A match made in heaven, and hopefully, it's a match made in heaven for Jenny and the dream restaurant. Yes, but as always, there's a secret ingredient that we deemed to be unacceptable. And if Jenny says it, she will be kicked out of the dream restaurant. And, but as always, there's a secret ingredient that we deemed to be unacceptable. And if Jenny says it, she will be kicked out of the dream restaurant. And this week, the secret ingredient is Eclare's, obviously. So, uh, Jelaezy, we're very lazy boys. Yeah, come on. Although, you know, obviously, I'd like a clear. I don't, we've talked about this so that's kind of quite a derailleur, Because you don't like them. So we are sticking to,

yeah, we are still sticking to the actual, you know. Correct. I think. Jenny's going on tour. Jenny is going on tour. It's an extension, it's a tour extension. So it was already a smash hit. Yes, absolutely.

But now it's XXL, the tour, James. Yes, 60 plus for fuck's sake, FFS, FFS. Yes, I can't speak today. No, that's not treasure. I've got to go and see Jenny's tour. Absolutely. She also has a brilliant podcast called older and wider that she does with the Judith Holder, which you must go and listen to as well, available in all your podcast shops. Make sure you listen to that. Go and see Jenny Live. Watch Jenny on Taskmaster if you haven't caught up on the series. Yes. Man, so much stuff. But first of all, listen to this. This is the off menu menu of Jenny Claire. I've listened to loads of these, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I don't really listen to other people's podcasts, because I get very jealous.

Yeah. So I never listened to yours until you invited me. That's the rule. I've told Ed this. Yeah. Are we recording, by the way? Yeah, we're in. Oh, right.

This is the gold. It's all the snydy gossip when I don't think the microphones are on. So I just thought, well, I know this is a very popular one. I've got a 22 year old lodger at the moment, got my niece living with me, she's at Lambda. What can you do? And so she's big fan and all this sort of thing. And I was going, yeah, well, yeah, well.

And then I got invited, Anna, I thought, all right, better, I better listen to a few of these. And it's, well, it's a very clever conceit. Yeah, that is the first time it's been called a clever conceit. It is. It's a clever conceit and it is bullet proof it seems. Yes, apparently. It is bullet proof. Well let me see if I can really call you. Welcome Jenny to the Dream restaurant. Well I know this has given me a sleepless night or two. I've got quite worried about it.

I'm quite competitive and I just thought, well what can I think of that nobody else has thought of? And I really drew a blank. So it's quite difficult. And the worst thing is you've offered too much choice because we've offered everything. Yeah. Okay. Fire some questions at me and I'll try and answer them. Welcome Jenny Ecclared to the Dream Master. But I'm going to be expecting you for some time. Well, I'll be. Listen to get up it, someone ever we can. to the dream restaurant, but he's expecting you for some time. Listen to our bits and whenever we can. Happy, happy in there. But thank you very much for inviting me.

I have been waiting some time, but I know that I've listened to one with Kathy Bert when you kept banging on about how you'd wanted her for so long, and she was your dream. And I got quite a bit snitty about it. Yes. But she's my dream guest as well. If I had a podcast like yours and wanted guests, she would be up there. You do have a podcast though. Well, I just said, well, why do you think I mentioned it?

I do have a podcast. It's we do not have guests. We did have guests, but you know, they just talked over as what? Yeah, you've seen who said it was your turn. Imagine that. Imagine that. So in fact, we couldn't pay them. And I mean, I know I'm not expecting any financial

recimble, that word. I believe you are getting paid. What? Yeah, yeah, we're paying you for this. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got you coming to the studio, we're paying you, of course. Oh, that's really brilliant.

So we couldn't afford guests. So we decided rather than get people in for no money and then feel like resentful throughout the program. We'd not have guests. And we do it on something called clean feed. So we don't need to come to a studio. It's all quite, it's very cheap. But we are going live. I don't know when this will come out, but we've got some live shows and sorry, I'm starting to start now because it's making me anxious in June and July. So you're thinking about the live show? Yes, yes. You're triple and you've done so many different about the live show? Yes, yes. You're capable.

You've done so many different live shows. You stand up, you've done like, what was your women? Grumpy old women? Yeah. My husband is the vagina monologue. I did do that. And it, oh god, yes, it's sorted.

Did you do it? Yeah, yeah, it's very dated. That show is very, very, very dated indeed. I think when it first came out, it was a sort of really quite strong polemic, but I think now it's just as, anyway, let's not, it's sort of marvellous. Everything's marvellous and everyone's very talented. Let's leave it at that. Are you a foodie, Jenny? I wish I was for the purposes of this show, and then I'd have sort of more interesting things to say to you. I do know what, I'm not really, I'm not really

encouraged to be one. I live with a man who's actually, he's 74, and he has a taste buds of an eight year old. He genuinely would be happy eating children's party food for the rest of his life. You know, if I said, I'm really sorry, but now on, it's just cocktail sausages and crisps and maybe some jelly and ice cream. We're bothering Mattore. Wow. So that's his dream, mate. If he was on the podcast, he'd be cocktail sausages, Chris and jelly and ice cream.

Yeah, yeah. He's very, he's often when he goes to restaurants, he's looking at the menu and he can't see any of those things. He's quite disappointed. It's rare that you get any of those on a menu. Yeah, no, no. And you'd happily do that as well, wouldn't you? I think I would, well, what I'd happily do that as well, wouldn't you?

I think I would, or what I'd like is to go to a restaurant and thank to be like a literal off menu item. So I'd go and some cocktail sausages. Yeah, with cocktails for some. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be really fun. Yeah, but that's that, well, you should go out of Jeff then. I'm going to a special dream restaurant with your own.

We don't go out to eat very often. I'm very northern. I live in London, I have done for to eat very often. I'm very northern. I live in London, I have done for 40 years, but financially I'm northern. I find it very easy to close my purse and keep it tightly shut. And I've never been to a restaurant where I thought, well, that was a good deal. That was a good value. I've never, I've never, I've not not less someone else has paged, you know what I mean? I always feel like the slight resentment when the bill comes, you go, what the fuck,

you're really genuine? You think it was worth that? No, no, no, I don't. There must have been a time where it was all right. Never. Never. Not once in my entire life, to be honest. I eat at home, mostly.

So you cook a lot? Oh God, no. No, I'm much better than I was. I mean, you've got to remember that when I was, you know, your age and younger even, because you know, you're being around now. But, you know, when I was in my 20s and 30s, which I presume you're both in now. You're one of those. I was outgigging most of the time. So, you know, I was never in to make the family meal. You know, I was in Nuneaton or wherever I was on a train.

So I do remember, and I've said this before on other shows, but my daughter coming home from, you know, when they get to that age where they go to other people's houses and they start to realize things are different. Yeah. And she came home and she was about four and she went, do you know something?

I went, no, what? She said, do you know, and this is true. You can make cakes in your own house. And I went, that, what? I said, do you know, and this is true. You can make cakes in your own house. LAUGHTER And I went, that's a lie. I said, not in this house, love, not in this house. And then I tried, at the time, I didn't have a cooker. Yeah.

Not have a cooker. Oh, wow. I had a hob and a microwave. So I got some of those, my little pony buns, they were little fairy cakes in a microwaveable mix, and they had sort of stickers to put on the top, and it was a disaster, absolute disaster. I want to try to make Christmas dinner in a microwave. That's the work either.

No way. That's when we decided to get a cooker for Christmas because I had family coming and all that. And he said, oh God, this is a really expensive Christmas because no, I'm not only providing the meal. I hung to my fucking cook going on top of it all, you know. So that's that anyway. You had that Christmas dinner. Did you think it wasn't worth the money?

I've always said about Christmas dinner. If pot noodle would do a giant pot noodle, Christmas dinner flavor, I'd be happy with that. I wouldn't really. Would you be happy with everyone else's reaction to that, though? That would make me laugh a lot. Yeah. My brother and my sister, yeah, a lot. No, I'm not a foodie. I know that edge you are a foodie. I feel that James is trailing some way behind you in the foodie stays. I'm like scrappy dude. Sometimes he goes mad and I have to put my hand on his forehead and he's just swinging around. Yeah, that's what he chooses a cheese I have to put my hand on his forehead and he's just swinging around.

That's what he chooses a cheese board. So are you the cheese board boy? No, you're the cheese board. No, you're the cheese board. How dare you say that to me? You're a pudding boy. I'm a pudding boy. You're a pudding boy.

You don't look like a pudding boy. Thank you. And you're not particularly cheesy either. No, there you go. Take that as a compliment. Yeah. But oh, it's not. So, sorry, where were we? I think we're going to talk

about your tour. Oh, FFS, exclamation mark, XXL. Yeah, they're trying to sort of make me do new material. So that's where the XXL's come in from. I'm trying to make you do new material. With the XXL, that's like the fire. Yeah. Yeah. It's meant to. I wrote a show about being 60. I'm now 63. So we've got sort of updated, upgrade it and all that. So it it's meant to. I I wrote a show about being 60. I'm now 63. So we've got sort of updated, upgrade it and all that. So it's got new stuff. I mean, it just it genuinely has as well because since I was last on the road, my mum's died and I've had a grandson. So you know, there's a live changing stuff going on. And I do, I do have some material about being at my mother's deathbed, which involves food, about how this

ridiculous situation occurred. I don't know whether you've ever done the deathbed vigil. Not yet. No. Right. Well, another bit of your podcast would be, what would you eat if you're waiting at someone's deathbed for them to die? What snacks? Yes. What snacks. Good new feature. That's good, because people are always like, what would your last meal be? But it's a nice spin on that. Yeah. What would you eat while you're waiting for someone else to die? Deathbed. You wouldn't think you'd have much of an appetite, would you? No.

No. No. I love my mother so much. And my sister and I were there at the deathbed. And it was one of those situations. So they say, come quickly. So you drop everything and you just, and it's 250 miles, and you do, and I'm eaten. And because do and I'm eaten and because you're not thinking about

You're not thinking about getting to your mother's deathbed, so I'm there and get there at two o'clock and really You know that they're saying it's it's last breath time and all this got six o'clock and I'm thinking oh I'm not anything to eat and you don't like to mention it do you my sister? I've he starts like we've got a banana in your bag Then it's eight o'clock and there's a change of shift and the nurses popping the heads down You don't like to mention it, do you? He starts like, have you got a banana in your bag? Then it's eight o'clock and there's a change of shift and the nurse is popping the heads down, I'm going home from a tea and you're thinking,

oh God, I want what they're having on that chicken fajita. I could really do with the chicken fajita. And you know, you mother and all this. And you don't, the last thing you expect to feel is a bit peckish. And that's where, and it was just after Christmas, it was January. My sister and I, in the end, we were resorting to going through my mother's locker and wardrobe

to try and find leftover Christmas treats, like there's tin biscuits, nothing in there. You know, some old biros, and you just, like, and there was a sort of box of, what are those Turkish delight? Fucking, fucking can't stand them. And you know, we're looking, we're looking the residual sort of icing sugar because just to keep the energy up. Yeah.

And then you're sort of, you're just thinking, oh god what we're going to. And then it's cracked, it's cracked into the next day, you just think, oh god. And they've locked the kitchen, they've locked the kitchen, they don't trust us. Well they're right, not to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're looking to have to. Yeah, yeah. You have to get the turn to the light up there. Just the lights are sugar.

And anyway, then she died and then you suddenly you lose your appetite, don't you? So there we go, that's my, well, you're really hoeing that story along. LAUGHTER Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, yeah. Anyway, there we go. I wouldn't trust myself in that situation, if I was with someone else at a deathbed, what if one of you's got a bag of crisps and the other one wants a crisp?

Are you passing the bag over to the person? It's tricky as well. Because they say that your sense of hearing is the last thing to go. Do you really want the last thing for your loved one to hear? Is you crunching through a packet of monster months? You know, it's kind of not the dumb thing, is it?

Yeah, that's not great. Yeah, it doesn't feel good. Oh, she could hear it's my stomach rumbling, I'm sure. You know, I'm making noises like a washing machine. There we go. Well, people could go and see the show. And also, yeah, you're doing the podcast tour as well. So, loads of opportunities to see you live.

It's boring, really, isn't it? I'm too... Sometimes, do you not get tired of yourself? Oh, yeah, constantly. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think, Oh, not you again. You know, it's all those, isn't it? Do you not get tired of yourself? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Constantly. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think, oh, not you again. You know, it's all those, isn't it? Now, we always start, Jenny, we're still all sparking water.

Wow, they're both quite dull, but I'll go sparkling, very clean glass, good glass, thin rim. Don't like a thick rimmed glass or my or anything really. I like a thin rim. No. And sparkling with ice and lemon, but what I would prefer on the side. And then I'll have some to I'm always a very thirsty person because I talk a lot. I get quite dry. I'll have some tap wash on the side as well because otherwise it'll get expensive for you. My dude, it's a fancy restaurant. Do you

pay? Is it? No, no, no. Okay. This will be the first meal you've ever had. This value for money. Yeah, this is worth the money. Oh, God, my northern heartstrings relax. I'd like some ginger beer on the side. A good ginger beer. Edel, no, what I'm talking about. Yes. A good cloudy, like proper ginger beer. Yeah. Old Jamaica's that. I like that and I like a fentany as well. Yeah. Yeah, so I like ginger beer a lot.

Obviously alcohol free. I've not started drinking yet. You'll know when I do. There will be alcohol involved in this meal. Jenny, I have a question. Why is it just me who would know about the ginger beer and not James? Don't trust him.

question, why is it just me who would know about the ginger beer and not James? Don't trust him. I don't think that he'd have the palette. I'm not sure. I might, I think I might be underestimating his line. He knows what he's talking about this guy, honestly. No, I like it. I'm happy to lead into this. Okay, I know.

I honestly really enjoy your shows. I really, I just thought, oh, I now know what everyone's raving about. They are, it's really good. And I've heard some really wonderful lovely people. And what's clever is it's not just about food. They reveal quite a lot about themselves. Yeah.

Well, I'm going to be very buttoned up. Yeah, you already talked about your mother's death. Oh, god. Remember that. We've already cut that out of you. No, where else to go? Really? I'm backtrack now, anyway.

There we go. I love the thin-rimmed glass, especially in that, because I would agree, and I would never think about, that a few people come on here and think about the glass for no water. Almost nobody. No, I'm really fuss about glassware, tableware. I don't do that. Listen, I'm going to

own up to how I eat at home because, you know, I'm making a nonsense of everything I say. We barely ever eat at the table. We haven't even got trays. We haven't, there are only two of us, mostly, I mean, the lodger eats, but I've got the lodger, the 22 year old niece, Lambda Lodger. Lambda Lodger, we call her LL Lambda Lodger. She keeps her food separate. She eats a bit earlier than us. We don't eat till 8.30. We eat on our knees and we don't have trays. We have good quality magazines. Perfect. Pardon me? When Jenny said we on our knees, will you imagine them melt them? Yes. Well, I'd be fine because I'm a squatter. I'm a natural troglodyte. I'm a floor squatter.

But the old man, is that, are we not allowed to say troglodyte? No, of course you are. You are. I think it's just the way that you throw away the phrase natural squatter that may be loved. Yes. Just as if there's natural squatters and there's people who are unnatural. Well, you want to watch my bloke try and squat. He couldn't get back up. You know, you have to. I'm the same.

Oh, really? Tight hips. Oh, no, yes, he's very, and I'm very loose around it. So, I'm a natural squatter, James. Yes, I do yoga. Yes, James, I do my squats. But like, are you ever two ago? Not so much.

Yeah, you can flex those thighs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just being a man to? Not so much. Yeah, yeah. You can flex those diamonds. Yeah, yeah. I'm just starting to do some for you guys. Yeah. OK, so when I say on our knees, I mean, the plates are on our knees. Yeah, I got you. And we don't have trays. We have good quality magazines.

It might be an interior, it might be an L-deck. A glossy. A bit glossy and quite thick. Good quality. Yeah. And Jeff can't throw a magazine away. We have hundreds of years of El Deco and wallpaper and interiors, hundreds of years. And you just eat off the wheat off the wheat?

See in our house, and I thought this might be the case with you as well, but you're probably going to think we're disgusting. We have fancy cushions on the sofa, and we have eaten cushions. Oh, that's disgusting. So it's just one of the eaten cushions. We'll go on the knee, play it on top of the cushion. That's all folk-time stuff, though. Yeah, it's lovely. That is really, really lovely, because they must be splattered and they must smell. They must smell. I stink. Well, one side. So you only sit on one side, and then when you're done, that's the side that goes away from from prying. Have you heard of the cushion tray? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it is James is right. We are entering old people's home territory. How about this? But it's a tray, you know, it's a hard tray, but it's got a soft bottom.

Yes, I love it. Well, there is, there is your Christmas and birth they give rolled into one. I think I just want to live in an old people's home. Oh, well, I honestly, I can tell you, you don't, because you're quite a foodie and you're going to get minced. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, you're well-compliant about the food. One of my grandmother's went into an old people's home

and that's all she would talk about when you went to visit, how bad the food was. Yeah, yeah. And the tea that puts stuff in the tea to make it thicker. So they don't have to swallow it. That sounds quite good. Oh, you like that one, yeah, you like the food was. And the tea that put stuff in the tea to make it thicker. So they don't have to swallow it. That sounds quite good. Oh, you like that one. Yeah, you like the thick tea. Yeah, if you're in a rush. Honestly, you wouldn't. And they give it you in a beaker as well. Just watch that. Just watch those sort of propensity. Yeah, okay. But slightly better she had it. Yeah,

if you're in tray. I'd love that. Okay, Okay, right. I think a fan might, you might get inundated with cushion trays. That will be sent, you know, we sent some personalised cushion trays. And the fan will do a photo print of their face on the cushion side. There you go. It's in your lap, it's like a dip. It's nuzzling your groin. There lips, a nuzzling your groin. The fans keep, man.

Yeah, there you go. Fine, that's all happened. The ginger beer. Yeah. So you've got your fin mined glass, man. Yeah. There you go. Fine. That's all happened. The ginger beer. Yeah. So you've got your thin-rimmed glass, which I love, and the ginger beers, they're on the site. Is that in a can still, or in the Phantom and bottle, or have you got that in a different? I don't mind drinking from a bottle or a can at all, but I think in this situation we'll

glass it up. Yeah. We'll have a similar thin-rimmed glass. Yeah. And you want this topped up throughout the meal? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I you know, this has got to be an endless font. Yeah, and fiery. You want fire. I like, yes, but not silly. Yeah. And there's a terrible soda poppy one which people keep getting in the in the tape modern or under Tate Britain Britain. And every time I go to the tape, I think not that fucking awful gingerbread. And I've had words, I've had words, I have.

So this is not the best. This is not your best gingerbread. Yeah, yeah, they've got to start, up in their game at the tape. Yeah, absolutely. When you stand on ginger ale. Confused slightly. It reminds me of my father and sort of 70s drinks and boxing day drinks parties and possibly alcohol going into it as well.

What do you have with ginger ale? Is it whiskey? I see I can't do whiskey. I really can't do whiskey. You know, a whiskey in the eye, you should never give whiskey to certain women. Bad tempered women should never drink whiskey. You know, I'm prone to shout at buses anyway, but you know, give me whiskey and I'm just there shaking my fist and calling God, Narsal, it's not. That sounds funny. Yeah, it sounds like a laugh for a laugh, right?

Yeah, it is very short-lived laugh. Let me go. Bard, while I have, yeah, I think ginger ale, I'd rather have booze in than ginger beer. Ginger beer is nice on its own. Yeah, it's pretty tough going on, right? Yeah. Poblo's all bread.

Poblo's all bread, Jenny Claire. Poblo's all bread. Okay, right. That was so. Got a miss. That was a big one, wasn't it? Yeah, it was there. We're in the studio.

Is it called plosive? Yes. Oh, you did a very plosive pee then. And I got some of it in my face. Yes. I'm quite glad I'm wearing glasses. So, pop it on so bread. I'm going to go, can I have a schandi basket rather than an eye that all? When I say a schandi basket, please, please. You know, if you have breakfast in like Norway,

Oslo, I say Norway, well done, you know, Sweden, places like that. And I like those, it's like a big round riveita. Right. Yeah. But they're better than riveita. They're a harder crisper. Yes. And they sometimes made on the premises in the good hotels, because they're very good at breakfast. So I'm a big, big breakfast fan. So I do like that scandy kind of, I like a dark bread, I like a pumponical, I like that sort of thing. Yes. So you get bonito to Google what that, what there's a big, a scandy cracker's called. It's like a crisp bread, right?

Yes, it is. It's a big crisp bread. And then they make them in the round. They're like as big as a driving wheel almost. Oh, well. And get a mic here. Yeah, you can get them in. I can. Along with the Lingenberry jam.

Yes. And I'm a big condiment girl, big league on the condiment. Not so much on the condoms. It's either or. Yeah, I'm not eating that. I've got a bigger team. Yeah, it's something I've got the taste of a condom mouth, and I don't want it. Yeah.

If you, but here's the thing, what if you had to smuggle some condiments through customs, how would you do it? I'd fill a condom full of lingonberry. Swallow it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then if it bursts and you say I'm having a very heavy period, even though I'm 63, you know, it's been a lot of periods for 12 years. Anyway, you asked for it, didn't you boys?

There we go. God have did ask for it, but I don't know if it would burst or that. Don't try to take Jenny on at this go. Don't use me as your condiment mule. Obviously, it's a good excuse. Yeah, so you want like a basket of mixed Scandinavian breads and crisp breads and crackers and all of that. It is.

It's delicious. And I don't eat butter. Right. I don't know whether you know this about me, because I do bang on about it, but I used to be anorexic. And people do look at me now as if they say, oh, I didn't know you could recover that well.

I was, but I was anorexic. Obviously, drama school triggered it, because drama school in the, I went to drama school 78 to 81. At a time when people were still allowed to be vicious to, you know, I've got the Lambda Lodge, and it's all, you know, she's at drama school. And I mean, it's incredible the education she's getting.

And a lot of it is about consent and a lot of it is about, you know, how to behave towards people and all this kind of thing. And when I went to drama school, the teachers of Lads call you Fat Girl. Wow. So I was, I mean, all of the women girls in my year ended up with some kind of psychosis.

And there were quite a lot of eating disorders around at the time. And I grew, I think I struggled until I was about 27. So it can be, I mean, it is a bad illness because it is still a lot of the mental health illnesses. It's one that still has quite a high death rate. And you do have to, yes, it's a very weird one because it's so obvious how to get out of the box.

You've locked yourself in, you just eat some food and you just won't give yourself a permission to do that. So I made my parents and everybody around me very miserable for quite a long time. But yeah, sorry, you've gone very quiet. No, just letting you speak, John, you've been thinking, how's this for buttoned up? We got you. We got you. I'll start crying quite soon. So that- So you were saying you don't eat butter? And that is, but probably my last leftover thing from anorexia.

I used to have lots, I don't eat chocolate either and I don't eat pastries. I know it's a producer Ben's birthday, and there's something sticky and delicious. Yes. And it's not just me. I love it. I love it. I just, that's what I wouldn't do that but I used to not eat pastries well but I have a terrible I love a pork pie. Yeah. And I had a 63rd birthday recently and my friend Judith that I do

Aldrin Wider podcast with sent me a £4 pork pie. If size was very small baby. And this is a true story, right? So the career, because it came from Oxfordshire, I wasn't in. So he put it, he was meant to put it in my safe place, right? It's pork pie. But for some reason, he decided that behind the bins wasn't good enough. And what he'd do is throw it over my side garden wall into the back garden. And when I realised that she sent me a pork pie, I thought, it was going to be smashed to pieces. No, no. This pork pie was so solid and the crust was so thick, there wasn't a crack in it. It survived the throw. Because they're built for like minors to drop down shafts and stuff. This is it, exactly. And I looked at this pork pie when I got to town. It was actually perfect. I thought I'm so tempted to stand on it to safely take my way.

Oh pork pie. I mean pork pie, yeah. That's just one of the finest things in the world. It was a good one. I do a TV show with the chef Tom Kerridge. Right. And me and the other judge on that show, Niche Catoe, and I had a bet with him once about something that was going to happen. It was like a political bet about when everyone was, you know, there was a new prime minister and all of this. And we were like, who do you think is going to be a pointer prime minister? We had a bet going and the bet was for a pork pie and Tom lost the bet. And luckily he runs a two-mission install restaurant called the Hand in Flowers. So he sent me a knee shirt, Port Page and that this thing was double

the size of my head, thicker than a victorious bunch, it pork in it, but then also black pudding throughout it as well. It is, I think, the best thing I've ever tasted and I just every 10 minutes I'd be at the fridge going. Just a little sliver, little sliver, little sliver. The first time I'm hearing about this. Is it? Yeah, I hear about this delicious Port Pipe, that's best of case ever tasted. You know it's all be bound, looking in that fridge. Did you not bring some in?

No, no way. Is it a very mean man? It's very mean man. Where are you on the pork pie? I've also got where? Pork pie boy. I like pork pies. I would say that, yeah, I like,

it has to be a really rich buttery pastry in crust. If it's not, then I get all sad about it. I've got over the jelly stuff now. I'm fine about that when I was a little kid, didn't like it. And when it's got a little bit of something extra like some black pudding in there, then obviously gourmet are more for it. Guess who's still scraping the jelly off my part and then my 74-year old part. Of course, it does, yeah. Because he's got the taste buds of a six-year old. He loves jelly and ice cream, no? Yeah, he likes it. If you're alright, it was strawberry jelly inside the pork pie. He'd be really happy.

You're not having butter. Are you having anything butter and ice cream? Yes, yes. Please, man, have some for Nadal for your low-fat cream cheese. You make it. Absolutely. I love, I love filly. I love filly.

I like the clean taste of filly. I don't like a claggy taste. No. And I find butter too claggy. Right. I mean, obviously, I'll eat it in a pork pie pastry. Yeah. But not by itself. So you want the, uh, there's this Swedish scum with a clack of bread and some Philadelphia light. Yeah. Thank you. Delicious. No, we go. Your dream starter. Okay. Oh, quite dull.

I'm sorry about this. I've really thought about this. And I've thought, well, no, have what you like, because quite often I don't have what I like, and I call it menu masochism. And I think it's something that women really suffer from, much more than men. You know, if I go out with Jeff to eat, not that we do, because we're too mean. But, you know, if we ever did, he would just look at a menu and he wouldn't panic about it. He wouldn't get into, oh God, can you give me another 25 minutes?

Thank you very much indeed. And he would go, I'll have the steak. I'll have it medium, well done. I'll have chips. And if you put some vegetables on it is fine. I'm not fast. And then I'll have some apple, some apple crumble and some, I'll have that.

No trouble, it's all good. Of course, Jess having a state meeting well done. Yeah. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines.

I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for dines. I'm for going, well, I've never had curried welks before. Maybe I should try those.

And my daughter's inherited this from as well. And every time we eat out more or less, another reason I don't eat out is we choose the wrong thing. We choose the, some fish we've never had before, it turns out to be the bonious fish in the world. And it's just a misery and you're just sort of thinking, what, oh God, this is just a nightmare. I completely, I genuinely do the same thing.

But also I've got, we've talked about it on podcast before, a terrible habit of choosing what I want to see as the menu comes. Then if someone else I'm with, or does the same thing, I have to change what I'm having. Well, what's that all about? Because if we're going somewhere, I feel like we should have the full breadth of the menu.

We should experience as many different things as possible. Yeah, but you're not sharing, are you? No, but I just feel as a table. I don't, well, I don't refuse to do that. I'll happily share someone else's. No, Rich D Grant is a refusenic on the sharing. He will not share. Yeah.

I'd like to share a meal with it. He's a nice man. Very nice man. So, okay, so, right, okay, you're quite difficult then. Right, what about you, James? You're next. I'm happy with, yeah, I'll get whatever. And then I like it when, if I'm with someone who's a share,

and we get different things, great, we can try and swap them. But like, yeah, I don't mind getting the same thing as someone else, especially if I've never been there before, and I really want to try that dish. But imagine the scene, Jenny, everyone gets the same dish. Then what's the discussion after the meal? You go, oh, we all enjoyed that.

Night's over. I don't really talk about food that much. I mean, I'm greedy, obviously, but I'd not that. I don't really, I haven't got much to say. Sorry, anyway, my starter. I, again, I'm going a bit scandy. I want a fish platter, but without any bones. You know, a bone-free... I don't like bones. I don't like them. Any circumstances, whatsoever. I don't like a bone chicken thigh. If I'm cooking a chicken, something or other,

it's got to be boneless. I'm not having bones. And Jeff's very bone-phobic, because he wants Mr Ferry when he was five because he got a bone stuck in his throat. I mean, Rune the family holiday has never been allowed to forget it or something. So he's... Jenny, give me a second with that. You've packed a lot of information to that story there and I've got to imagine it all play out. Jeff is bone phobic because he missed a ferry when he was five because he got a bone stuck in his throat. Yeah. His bone phobic. I'm bone phobic because well, we don't like bones, what can I say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bone phobic. I'm bone phobic because well, we don't like bones.

What can I say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Jeppin' first food, you can mash with the fork. Yeah, sure. Like that. But is he bone phobic because he got the bone stuck in his throat? Or was it specifically because he missed a ferry? It was because he missed a ferry.

And that mode is like. Yeah, mate, it's life difficult for a while because it was a family holiday and it all got a bit. Oh, God, so and then he focused on the bone thing. Yeah. I've got the bones stuck in my throat. Yeah, guilt, guilt. because it was a family holiday and it all got bit. Oh God, so and then he focused on the bone thing. Yeah. I've got the bones stuck in my throat. Yeah, guilt, guilt.

It's amazing what things, you know, when you're a child, how, what an impact it can have in your life. Where was it fairly going to? I have no idea. And it was never interested enough to ask. You know, when you're sort of quite interested up to a point and then you go, that's enough detail. So this fish platter will be

the okay, we'll have some, we'll have salmon and I want it 70 style, you know, when they used to dress a salmon like a fish, each salmon and I want it with olive eyes and cucumber gills, or properly done, you know, pale pink and pretty, I I'm quite fuss about China and plates and things. You know, I'd quite like, you know, the state banquets. I'd quite like to borrow there. I'd like to see what they eat off. I couldn't do gold though. I couldn't have metal on a metal plate that would annoy me.

And I can't eat, you know, and sometimes you're eating a boiled egg and someone's giving you a silver spoon. It's a bit tarnished. It's a worst taste in the world. Something, I'm very, you know, there's some things and if cut trees badly balanced, you know, some people, they think they can reinvent cutlery and then it'll also be weighted in the wrong direction. And whatever you do, it's on the floor and you think, oh, fuck, say, you know,

it's just a knife and fork, but I want a classic knife and fork, I want it nice. Yeah, it's classic. And I like nice plates. Yeah. Do you need it? You know, fish knives, the flat ones. Yeah, why are they that? Why are they that?

They are there because there was a time in history when people didn't know what to buy each other for wedding dress. It's as simple as that, really. I think there's a fish canteen. Yeah. They were called, yes. But is it to get it off the bone if it's on the bone?

Yeah, I think it's a bone. So you definitely don't need that for this. No, no, no, no. I prefer to be eating some of this in my fingers. That's another, you know, that's another reason why I don't go to restaurants. I'm, you know, can be a pig. And I like, I have smoked some as well. I do love char grilled octopus. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, really sticky, really sticky. I want some lobster in here. I'll have it out of it shell because, because otherwise I get an amiss,

you know, and it all goes under my fingernails. Shells are bone by a different name. It is. Yeah, you're not shellafobic, you're bonafobic. I'm sorry, bone-phobic, not bonafobic. You're bone-phobic. Bone-phobic. I think I've just, I might have just since developed shellafobic.

Yeah, I'm bone-phobic, because I got one stuck in my throat, Mr. Trayne. Is that true? You say, I'm very gullible as well. No, I'm just to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back.

I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I'm going to throw it in the back. I was gobbling on a boner. That's like a massive prawns, really massive. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, it says, yeah, I know what that shell's quite loose. Yeah, I want to loose shells. So you don't mind the shell on the prawns?

No, because I can, I can slide my fingernails under, but I get to, what I'll have with the lobster, because I'm going to take my time with this meal, I'm really sorry boys, it could be here sometime. I'll have a pad of very good quality watercolor paper and I might have a little pan of watercolours and then I might, I'd like the lobster shell on another plate and then I might take some time to paint a still life. Oh wow. Now that's definitely a first. Yeah, we've had someone do, we haven't had anyone do watercolors before. Oh no, that would be, if I ever get the opportunity to send you a picture of a still life of a lobster, I'll do that for you. Please. There you go. Just stick it on the wall. This is already, it is quite a soothing meal then, a very relaxed meal. You're taking your time,

you're doing your painting. Taking your time, yes. So nice. Yeah, because I'm not paying for this at the end, I'm really going to enjoy it. And I want, I don't want eye-oolly. Yeah, yeah. I don't want that. I want mayonnaise. Yeah. And I know people say they can make their own mayonnaise and they're all very fast about it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want Helmins light. Yeah, that'll do me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a classic. Helmins light. That'll do me. Yeah, I mean, it's a classic. Helmins is an absolute classic. Yeah, for the delf, you're like Helmins light. It's a theme.

Yeah, remember Xanerexic. I've got cling to some of the rules. And I quite like some crudite on the side, just to sort of give myself some textural mix. I like radishes. I love her. A pepp textural mix. Yes. I like radishes. Oh, I love a peppery radish. You are really, really sharp. Cold crispy peppery radish.

You once went somewhere and they were offering them as a starter with butter. Yes. Well, buttered radishes. Well, that's your nightmare, of course. It's ruining something you love with something anyway. You're a fucking radish. Yeah. Whereabouts was it?

They do it at QuoVardis. That was the QuoVardis. Yes. Have you had, but in the industry, I didn't have them. No, I didn't that I think someone else ordered them. I've not had buttered radishes. I think I mean, look, I would happily try them, but it didn't. No, you both did it. No, I would. Radishes, what else is on the crudetay? I can't remember what else you can get, including says, a quite light celery, but it's not all that, is it? Cucumber sticks.

I'm now eating what my grandson eats, really. Yeah, that's radishes. Carrots? It's a bit dull, isn't it? Okay. Yeah, no, I'm not. I'll pick radishes as a best. Radishes as a best, no look good as well. So if I'm not. I'll be bad at shoes of the best. The bad at shoes of the best.

No, look good, as well. So if I can't manage the painting of the, the, um, what was that thing? I said, that's it. Um, I'll do radishes because I know I can do them. Yes, great. The bad at shoes. Do those remembering. Yeah.

Your dream main course. Oh, okay. What about where I'm eating? You usually ask your guess where? That's true. We sometimes do something. Do you have a specific politic? No, because that was the thing that was really confusing and foxing me.

So I'm really glad you didn't ask. I brought it up anyway. Well, only because the choice, I have to, because last night, I was awake thinking about this. And the trouble is, I find it very different if I can't control the choice. I had to, because last night I was awake thinking about this and the trouble is, I find it very different if I can't control the environment. So I'm thinking about an ocean view and then I'm thinking you've had the sea girl trauma from other people. And I was once in Cornwall and that and it was a big bap ad with pastrami, pastrami and hot mustard and cucumber and that, and it took the whole thing,

it took the whole thing, and I genuinely felt like Tippy Headdron in birds, you know, I couldn't believe, and no one else on the beach, beach battered Nileid, it was like, it was so common to them, and I was hysterical, absolutely hysterical, I was face down, stand screaming and going absolutely mental, and people just go, yeah, yeah, it happened to me last week. I'm sorry, I couldn't do a Cornish accent then, but you know what I'm trying to do. And that really, really upset me, really freaked me out. So the whole back, the whole back, big, big.

And I quite like, see that pigeon, not pigeon, see girl, again, go try this pork pie, mate. Try and take that in your mouth. Yeah, no chances taking the pork pie. No chance, no chance, not with me me hanging onto it. You get a poor, four pound pork pie and 13 half stone clinging to try that mate. So you don't want it anywhere in particular? Um, well, I was like, then last night I was thinking the orange express because it's the, this is um, um, but then people would be dressed up. They've been fancy dressed and that

makes my fist clench. Right. Yeah. Like, well, you could, You could be on the Orient Express just by yourself or whoever you're eating with. Yeah, that'd be good. I don't want anyone else. I love a view, because it goes through, you know, like the film, you know, John the Orient Express, and I love a snowy landscape. I love, love, love a snow landscape. That would do me. That would really do me.

Do you want me to be a murder that you have to solve at the end of the meal? We, we, Jeff and I love. I mean, we've gone through all the Agatha Christie's during lockdown when we were anxious. We did them all on audio at night time. And sometimes we've woken up a little night, we'd have to say to each other, do you want some more story? We have some more story. And, but we've gone through all the Agatha Christie's and there's some drag out Agatha Christie's and they are so bad. Yeah. She was still allowed to write when she was losing it. Yeah. And there's some insane stuff.

Some really, really. The lesser known Agatha says a reason why they're lesser known. Yeah. Absolutely insane. You know, Jeff listed the term before in the morning. Yeah. We try. We try. And then there's a point where we turn to each other and go, this one's shit.

LAUGHTER So, yeah, I did think, and I do like those very cozy restaurants, you know, like Andrew Edmond's, I'm sure you'll be, you know, that kind of thing. But then, I'm quite wide, and I don't like that when tables very close together and you walk to the toilets and you've got other people's dinners up your backs up. And I like my own house to eat at.

I do like that because I like watching Telly While I Eat. So what about the Orin Express, but you're in a compartment that looks like your own house to eat at. I do like that because I like watching tele while I eat. So what about the Orin Express, but you're in a compartment that looks like your own sitting room? No, no, I want a bit posh in that. I'll have the Orin Express, but no one dressed up in fancy dressing. Okay, fine. No one else is on it.

Snowy landscape. And it's going to your house, maybe? Maybe because it's a tea house. I don't mind. I don't mind having a jaunt, a trip, going on a bit of a holiday. But when I'm eating, the last thing I want to do is have a long way to get home. That's why it's sometimes if you're staying in a good posh hotel, there's nothing better than getting

complete stuffed and a bit pissed and knowing that all you need to do is get in a lift to get to your room. It's a beautiful feeling. That's a lovely feeling, isn't it? Well, I'm thinking, I've got to get in a Uber after this and I can't move and I don't know where I am. You know, it's that sort of thing. So I do like, I like to know how I'm thinking, I've got to get a noober after this, and I can't move, and I don't know where I am. You know, it's that sort of thing. So I do like, I like to know how I'm going to get to my own bed. And if I'm on the Orient Express, I've got a... Good, you cabin. Come on, cabin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just you, Jeff's not on it. No, Jeff's with me. Yeah, I like it. Oh, I get frightened. So you're doing main course. Okay, I haven't told you this. It's not very interesting, but I have an allergy to tomatoes, which has ruined my life. And I only developed it in my late 40s.

Wow. I know. I know. A lot of people think it's a hormonal thing, and it's a sort of perimenopause kind of coincidental thing. I don't know. But any red-seeded fruit, in fact, gives they give me mouthhouses. And they're very small, but they're incredibly painful. It feels like somebody is constantly stapling the inside of your mouth. And it isn't good for people

like us who talk for a living, because I get them all around the inside of my gum lines and things like that. And I hang out in the dark. And everyone thinks I'm pissed anyway. It doesn't help. So I've had to eradicate all tomatoes out of my diet for years now. It's a long time. It's not just raw tomatoes. It's all tomato.

Devastating. It's tomato puree. People say, it's just got a tiny bit of tomato puree., oh, it's just got tiny bits of tomato puree and you get No, you're twat. I said It's tomatoes, you know, this is why I've always got a sort of microwave will cauliflower cheese on me. Yeah, because people can't be trusted You've always got one on you. Well, I'm not now because I don't need to eat now But if I'm going out for a meal, I think oh, I've forgotten to tell them or something I've got to have something an alternative with me come die

You're a microwave will call the something. I've got to have something an alternative with me. Come die. You got a mic-wapel called the party? I like, I love colour flaches, I really do. So for this main cause, course, sorry, God, it's hard. I'd like to sort of magically not have a tomato allergy. Yeah, of course, absolutely. You've got a genie in the house.

Done. Thank you. Thank you very, very much. Okay. So, do you know what? I've craved for a long, long time and I've not been able to eat a spaghetti bull and aes. Yeah.

And it's dull and I'm really sorry and it's not exciting and it's not foody. But it's classic for a reason, Jenny. I haven't had one in a long time. I haven't had one in so long. And, you know, if I was being nice, I'd say, I'd like my mums, but it wasn't very good. I quite like to make my own. Or maybe I'd like my own in reserve,

because I know that I'd make it with so much love. And if I was allowed to cook with tomatoes, and I'd just make, I'd make a meal of it literally. I would, that would, you know, be a thing of love. I'd put my pure in there, tin of tomatoes. Well, I'd put a bit of it literally. I would, that would, you know, be a thing of love. Tomatopuora in there, tinnetomatos. Well, a bit of cut tomato ketchup. Ooh, ooh, bang it in. Because I tried to make minced-based meals.

My mother's was a bit watery. She was a bit mean on the Tomatopuora. It was a bit pale brown sometimes, you know. I don't like garlic anymore, either. I used to, but... You don't like garlic anymore. I don't like any more. Well, it's not an allergy. You just send me down like that.

I've got a really, really heightened sense of smell, like a stupidly, like a blood town. And that again, I'm on HRT because otherwise I am very, very depressed, hormone replacement therapy, and I will take it till I die and it gives some people like me a heightened sense of smell. A lot of pregnant women get this, it's a hormonal thing. Why aren't the police using women on HRT to do that? Have you not seen us? We're on leads, on leads, sniffing along pavements. Yeah, it's sometimes it's great but sometimes it's quite offensive and garlic has suddenly gone into that, oh no, I can't. Wow. Can't do it. Not heavily garlic. You know, garlic bread makes me,

it's butter and garlic. Booth very, very nice. Very nice, bad. Got some Jenny Ecclone nightmare. Oh, it is. So it's to be very, very light on the garlic of any at all. And it would be a very bloody heavy red, red, probably a bottle of candy in there as well. You know, very slow cooked, long time, so the mince really breaks up.

I make a terrible Shepherd's pie now because I can't use any tomato puree or anything, and it's just dry. Very, very dry. It doesn't matter what you do, it's always a bit dry. People dread it. I go, I go, Shepherd's pie tonight. A logic goes, oh, I've got something. It's fine. I've got I go, Sheppard's pie tonight. A logic goes, oh, I've got, I've got something. It's fine. I love that she's just called the lodger. Heb, that she's related to you. Oh, absolutely.

That's amazing. Daisy, Daisy, lodger, Daisy, Daisy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do also like that you yourself say the Sheppard's pie is awful and very dry, but you still make it regularly. Yeah. You go, Sheppard's pie, my terrible Sheppard's pie tonight. What?

For you guys, I'm going to have a microwave collie of hash. Yeah. Because of the scuff. This is great. This is a... Parmesan lashings off. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Lots of that. Yeah. Right at the end. Yeah. And some mayonnaise. Sorry. It's a terrible habit. Hang on more.

Yeah. Have mayonnaise with everything. Right, we should have said this at the top to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it.

I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it.

I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. I'm going to ask you because Joe Thomas has been on this podcast. Yeah. Get your violines and revealed that his recipe for spaghetti violines involves a lot of cream. He puts cream in it. And I was going to ask you it because I thought, oh, Jenny, I'll tear Joe Thomas a new one.

But then you've said you put yogurt and, uh, I never cook with cream. I don't like cream. I think it's another claggy taste. Yeah. And it's, you know, people get raver. I think double creams are the most disgusting things in the world. And my idea of torture is being held down and a squirty, kind of squirty cream being pushed into my face.

Yeah, no, no. That's disgusting. Yeah. So no, Joe, Joe's wrong about his, his, his spree at a ball and a his recipe. Yeah. Just wrong. Minds better.

Some people put chocolate in as well. I think that's quite a new fangled thing. That's sort of post my generation of minced dishes. Yeah, well, like a very dark, a very dark, very dark, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not a snicker bar. Why is it a source subject? It's what sent me out of pointless. I went on pointless. I had to name ingredients in pasta dishes and get your pointless answer. Tom Kerridge again, wasn't it? Tom Kerridge is spaghetti bolognaise. I went for chocolate because I thought, you know, it was a greater chocolate, wasn't it? Wasn't. Wasn't. It sent me out. I got a hundred points on that.

Yeah. Whatever it is. What was it, though? Oh, there's loads of ingredients in all the different pasta dishes, but my partner, Joel Dommett, had already, he had already got a hundred on his one, so I had to get, like, pointless in order for us to go through. So it's had to take a big swing. I could have said, you know, mince or whatever. That would have been a correct answer, but it's not got an incorrect one. And we crashed out and I look like an idiot. Well, you don't because it's actually a lot of people

do use it in mince dishes. Yeah, yeah. So who's the idiot now? Tom uses it in his chili con carne. Yeah, yeah. But no, God, not his own gold. It's Ivy who humiliated myself and more of those quiz shows than I dare honestly have had some terrible moments. We did point this together. Well, I would not for long because I was out first or second rather. But you were, you were, oh God, you were there. He was bristling with it.

Oh, I've never seen anyone say keen, keen as must. Yeah, we got knocked out though. You didn't, as must. Yeah, we got knocked out, though. You didn't, did you? Yeah, we got knocked out, I think, maybe one or two rounds after you, but you got knocked out because you were with Sophie Hagen and the category was Carry on Films, with only certain letters in them. And Sophie's from Denmark, obviously never seen a carry on film.

And she said, Carry on for English breakfast. Which is a great way to go out. Yeah, yeah. And I've been on with Linda Robston. We were also knocked out first round then. And so it was just great because I hadn't seen it for a bit. We had a time for a quick gossip. Two and a half hours.

Linda's like the queen of his into and I've had such fun with her. And I mean, she takes her own bottle of tomato ketchup to wag her mama. Oh, your dream side dish. Okay, well here I might go a little bit, a bit yotem. Oh yeah. A bit yotem otillenghi. And I saw a side dish on the insta.

You know, like they sometimes whack things on that you're not even following but you go, oh, that looks nice. And it was a yotem and it involved rhubarb and barata. Oh, yeah. Now with a pink peppercorn drizzly oil, apparently, which I haven't got in my house. So I just saw that and I like rhubarb and I like it in a savory and well it was that once in Copenhagen and I had a lamb dish with the rhubarb and it was one of those incidents that could have gone very many masochism and actually was a triumph. Right. Yeah.

That's how it's called. So you never had this dish but you saw it and you thought why not throw it in? And it looked so pretty as well. I do like pink on the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's, yeah, that would be nice. It's very good that making dishes look nice. Oh, yeah, yeah. And that's, yeah, that would be nice. It's very good at that. Making dishes look nice.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Seasonal and vibrant. And you go to the shop and you think, I want everything, I want everything. And Jeff just wants one of those big meringues. What? I don't think the Magdars Jeff won. What?

What? What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what pick my magnet, Jeff one? What, what, he likes a big pink meringue, you know, one of those great big meringues. Oh, yeah, that's fair enough. What I loved about that is it started as like a universal observation. Well, you're like, yeah, I love you, you do this, don't you?

And it ended with, and then you go to the shop and Jeff wants a big pink meringue. I love it. You've chosen a dish that you haven't had, but you want to have. That's very nice. Yes. And it sounds delicious. Brata, always a hit. Always. Yeah. So good. Yeah. Yeah, I had it when I got married. I got married very, very late because I don't approve of weddings at all.

I hate them, actually. Yeah. Although I like the food buffet. Yeah. It's my favorite meal, actually, would be it. That would be if someone said, you know, the last meal before you're electrocuted in a chair for doing some terrible crime. Yes. What kind of question? What crime?

So many. Yeah. A buffet, a proper sort of 70s wedding buffet, which would have lots of cold cuts and salads, but there wouldn't be as good as otolengu sounds. No. They would, you know, maybe I'd go, I'd go sort of semi 70s buffet slash otolengu sounds. They were that you know maybe I'd go sort of semi-70s buffet slash otolengu. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a fusion. Yeah, fusion definitely. Barata, yes, when I got married, that was my starter. Lovely. Yeah. Can vegans eat it? No. No, there were a few. What can I eat?

Oh, you're not bringing something for yourself. No, I didn't say that. Obviously. I said it's special vegan barata. Bob was old. This sounds great. I went to one of the other thing you've asked John Sweet and we had on our podcast. So I went there and there were some people there because they had the podcast episode was always nice. But the chefs, because they listened to that episode as well, they sent out some extra bits for me, which is obviously very generous, but it was lunchtime and I was, I only wanted a small bite, I thought,

I don't have mother fuckers. I didn't want all this food, so I got them back revenge. I bought them a mound of beers. Fuck you chefs. Do you like that? Well done man, that taught them. That taught them. I just loved that. They did love that. Wouldn't they? Yes. That's nice of you. You did a good

thing. Really good guy. Oh no. They did the same thing to me. They sent me all the... Do you think you buy my round of beers? Hell no. They sent me all the brand options. As a type one diabetic, that's basically an assassination attempt. Yeah, yeah, that was quite aggressive. Yeah. There's a like, I got cricket. They give you the option of buying a round of beers for the chefs. It's on the menu.

That's nice. What do you mean at cricket? A restaurant called cricket. Oh, right. I thought you were, you know, the oval. Sorry, don't understand this. Okay, there's a restaurant called cricket. Dream Drink. Now you said that you promised there was going to be booze.

Oh, there is booze. Yeah. And it's limited booze. This is not on a sort of tap like the ginger beer and the fizzy water and the tap water. Also, I'm like a camel. I barely need to go to the laboratory. So don't worry about me guys. I could feel you can't go, but Shardney, and I know, oh, you're winsing it. No, I'm not winsing at all. I actually, you'll probably get a bit technical here, though, won't you? He'll go, yeah, see, well, are we talking an oak barrel?

Yeah, we are. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, going really, okay, we're going a dark yellow, like a UTI in fact. That whole, you hear that reputation about Shardin' if it's ABC, anything but Shardin' A. People are quite sniffy about it, but I've had some lovely Shardin' A. Lovely Shardin' A. Lovely. I drink it at home a lot every night, every single night, I have a glass of Shardin'

A. And I put ice in it. Yeah, that's what I do, because drinks never cold enough for me. Never. Never cold enough. I was a nightmare as a child. I used to, when my mother would try and give me milk

and it had to be ice cold. Ice cold milk and ice cold. Ice cold. Yeah, it's way ice cold. Yeah. When you stand on slush puppies and stuff. I don't have that sweet tooth. I have not that out of me.

I just genuinely don't have it. So no, I wouldn't do that. What about a shard in a slush puppy? Oh, now we're talking. Now, if I could have one of those fancy fridges like Mr. Swallow and it came out, but... What's the swallow? Yeah, when he was on your podcast.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I, yeah. I thought you were fucking out. I thought you meant to say Mr. Frosty. No, no. But you are talking about Nick. Yeah, yeah, Nick. I don't know him.

I know him as Mr. Frosty. Yeah, but I was like, he's got one of those posh fridges that the crushed ice comes out. Yeah. My dream would be to have a fridge that the crushed ice came out with shardonnay. Oh, yeah. Well, this is the dream restaurant comes out. My dream would be to have a fridge that the crushed ice came out with shardonnay. Oh, yeah. Well, this is the dream restaurant. I've got one then. Yeah. I've got on the ice. Oh, terribly. So I'm taking it home. The problem with the problem with that,

though, is that is a tap essentially. So now you have constant access to a shardonnay slush puppy. Oh, no, it's got to drive. It's got to run out. It's got to be, it's got to be three large glasses tops. Yeah, quite largely. So yeah, I will be, you know, I'll be unconscious and out of action for two days. Would Jeff step in if, you know, Jeff is not a drinker. So he would, would he step in if you, if you were like three glasses in and you were like, Oh, yeah. That's that. It's repeating my family. How you in soul shape story? Oh, like we're getting there. I'll take funny.

Ah. Gussley. No, he's a libertarian, Jeff. He doesn't believe in telling people what to do. Right. Unfortunately. Even when you'd like trashing the orange Express. Yeah.

Is it the corner covered in Miranda? No, I mean, is it gone crazy? No, I will not tell my wife to put on her clothes. I mean, he's gone crazy. No, I will not tell my wife to put on her clothes. I'm a libertarian. And he'll stick to his one glass of, you know, Merlot or whatever. I have learnt, I have learnt with, you know, bitter experience to curtail my alcohol.

So we'll just have the three large glasses of Shard and Aeslash that comes out of the tap and you can take the fridge home as well. Yeah, thank you very much and I'll need some para-seater more for the morning. Okay, yeah, yeah, we'll line that up. Yeah, I might need a gavaskon chaser on this meal, by the way. That's fine, yeah, we can do that for sure, yeah. Because I'm going to have some port in a bit. Okay. some port in a bit. Okay. You're dream dessert.

Don't do dessert. Don't do pudding. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. I thought that was maybe the one the terrible words. What? No, James is a pudding boy. No.

See, I always dread this situation, because I can, you know, sometimes I really let rip on guests when they don't choose dessert, but sometimes as a guest, there's guests who I don't feel comfortable letting rip. I can take it. Because I'm even scared of them or I respect them too much. This is a situation of both. And so I'm going to have to just listen to what you have to say and try and contain my anger. Right. Well, I'll try and sort of play on your sort of empathetic side, which I do believe exists.

Yes. And I think it's a bit of the latent anorexia thing. I think that I really, do you see now, James? How do you feel now, James? I'm done. I didn't fully go on. You're going to try. I think that when I was going through my greedy stages, I did sort of stuff myself with anything. I've always been more savory and sweet, but I did have a...

My mother, we had a walk in pantry at home, because we lived in the north, and people in the north can have these things, like garages and pantries. And she was a good, if resentful cook, and she became more and more resentful about cooking this, as she got older and things got more and more burnt. But there used to be tins at the back of this pantry that were full of cakes and biscuits, she'd trade, but she didn't work, so she, you know, felt she had to do this stuff.

And flapjacks and things like that. And I would, I'd be one of those children that would go in and take the lid off every tin and have a bit of everything, you know, I'd go in the pantry with a knife and I'd be hacking away a fruit loaf and a this and a that. And then she make room top as well, you know what a room top is. Oh, yes. Oh, well, Jake, well done. Here we go. We've weirdly got like growing up. So I kind of know what one is, but like there's a proper like ceramic, like a ceramic thing that my parents have that says it on it. And so I would ask about what, what is this? But it's like, is it fruit something like?

Yeah, in alcohol. Well, I know I always had a taste for alcohol from a very early age, but I remember I used to, and it was fruit and it was booze. And you have to leave it to stew like the months until it's ready for Christmas. And I'd even prized a lid off that and I'd put a dirty spoon in it. So eventually when they did get it out of Christmas, it was just mold, just thick mold. So, you know, I had a lot of issues with food and guilt and stuff like that from quite an early age. And when I was coming out of anorexia, I found it the easiest thing

not to have. I was terrified of getting very fat again. And I was never very fat, but I was, you know, the size I am now, but at sort of 1920, I didn't want to be that. So I never, I never found my love for sweet things ever again. And in fact, then I sort of became quite political about chocolate. And the way chocolate was forced down women's strokes, this sort of advertising of chocolate, the sexual thing, and the, oh, you're so sad, you're so lonely, you're so, have a great big slab of chocolate,

you useless bitch. And I couldn't stand it. I can't stand that sort of pressure on, this in W.H. Smith, I you know, and would you like a big fucking cheap chocolate to go with that and, you know, go home and eat with your cat? And I just, that's been it for me. I would like that. I would like that. I would take some cheap chocolate home to eat with my cat. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I think I use it as an excuse really, but I've never,

I've not, I think there's a deep fear as well. If I did start, I might never stop. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, I have to have some rules. I have to, and I cannot eat lunch till one o'clock. I cannot eat an evening meal till eight or eight thirty, unless I'm gigging in which case, I have to. Lots of rules. Yes, okay. So, in that case, is there nothing for this course? Oh, no, of course, don't be ridiculous. I'm going cheese. Oh, yes.

Oh, man, I'm going to be okay with it. Yeah, that whole person. That's like, yeah, it's so bad, man. But I am going cheese, yeah, I'm going cheese. Even though I'm going to be two full. Yeah. I've just had a side dish of rhubarb and barata. Do I really need any more? Yeah, but if it's there, you can pick it in.

I'm picking, yeah. And I have some chutneys as well. I have a good fig chutney. Yeah, oh nice. And I might have some. Like a Foughtonum's one, that's what you think, chutney. Well, do we have the same agents? We do, that's why I know about the fig chutney

because it always comes in the Christmas hamper Any particular cheeses, Jenny. Oh, well, I think I would take guidance from a cheese monger And you know, I'd have maybe somebody who could come I don't like a blue cheese. I don't like you know the veiny cheese I'm not into that. I don't like It's a bit like thin men on the beach with the legs out. You know the veiny thin thin men legs. I'm not into that. I don't like, it's a bit like thin men on the beach with the legs out, you know, the Vainey thin, thin men legs. I'm not doing that. Is there any green cheese for me? Yeah, I don't do blue cheese. There's no green legs for me.

Well, James, I have the skin tones of a jellyfish to be quite honest, you know. And I love a baby bell. Hmm, hang on. Yeah. You want a baby bell and you're cheese ball. Oh, so it's okay. So it's out that we're both being aggrieved as well. Yeah, I just find the peeling of a baby bell, one of the most satisfying things that an adult can do. So what if, I mean, this is a dream restaurant, what if we allowed you that peeling process, but within the wax was a nice cheese? Oh God,

that would be like magnificent. Yeah. It would have to be solid enough to peel and be the disc, like the perfect disc. Yeah. That would be amazing. I think that that is something that actually you should take on Dragon's Den. Yeah.

A foodie Dragon's Den. Peelable nice cheese. Surprise, peelable cheese, like a kindereg. But yeah, like, oh God, that's brilliant. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, I have it. Loads baby bell surprise cheeses with good cheese inside. Thank you. Perfect, but no blue. No blue. But some like mature cheddar's maybe. Oh, yeah, I'll do that. I'll do that. And do you

want some of the crackers from the Scandi baskets to come back? I shouldn't really need them, should I? But you know, I like a good, can I have a pink lady apple or two? Yeah, yeah, yeah, palette cleanser. Yeah, that'd be nice. The best apples. Yeah, we want to, we want a text group with a bunch of other comics and for a while, quite the, quite an aggressive debate, broke out over what the best apples were. Well, there's no, there's no arguments on this one. Well, what were people saying? Granny Smith. They were saying Granny Smith,

we were very anti-Granis and anti-Granis and anti-Granis. Yeah, sour. Very often sour. Oh, thank you. I want a crisp pink lady. We know where the best ones come from. The fridge. There's the fridge or, yeah, Marxist-Benzes.

Yeah. I mean, you know, there are lots of supermarkets doing pink lady. Yeah. But the Mark's suspences, if you've got want good fruit, you've got to go Mark. You love Marx's? I remember when I supported you on tour, or you're Mark's and Spencer sandwich on your rider. Yeah. Before we do, Rob, I'm gonna go and read you your menu back. But do you get sent a lot of the players? Because comedians get sent stuff. Not often. And like, you know, fans can sometimes's come to shows and sense stuff for you about say, you must have been given a clear as before. I've been like,

I don't want the the old and wider audience know as better than to do that. What would they know that we are? I'm excuse me, sorry, Diet Coke. And I don't but I did tiny one then. Coleslaw, we are big Coleslaw fans. So the other side that I was going to suggest was a salariac remoulade. Oh, lovely. Which is a posh version of Coleslaw.

Excuse me now, burp. I just grabbed this. Oh, fuck you. Absolutely love it. And I don't burp. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just now. Just now.

Just now. Just now. Just now. Just now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Delicious. Right, I don't read your menu back to you now. So you feel about it. You would like sparkling water in the thin rimmed glass with ice and lemon and then tap water and a ginger beer and that to keep coming throughout the whole meal, which is on the orient Express, of course. Yeah. Problems of bread, you want scandy basket with crisp bread and fill the delphia, low fat cream cheese. Starter, boneless fish platter, salmon, seven-to-stargill octopus, lobster, shells, so that you can then paint

the lobster shell watercolour while you're eating this platter. Massive prawns with loose shells and light mayonnaise, with radishes and cucumbers, cruditeis on the side as well. Main course, you would like to make a spaghetti bolognese with loads of parmesan, loads of tomato everything in it, really, really red.

And maybe a blob of mayonnaise at the end. Side dish, Otolenguys, rhubarb and barata with pink peppercorn drizzle, never had it before, be it first, I'm even willing to chuck in the saliriac. Mammalard. Yeah, I think so too. You drink, you would like, you'd like to have a slush puppy machine, an fridge that puts out shard and a slush, three large glasses and then it caps off and it doesn't let you have any more.

It's alcoholic sensitive. Yes, it's very considerate fridge. Does a full cheese board has surprise baby bells that when you open them, there's really nice cheese in them with the fig chutney from the Avalon Christmas ham, pink lady apples. And even though you didn't say it just then, I believe you're like a glass of port with that. Oh God, I want port with that. Yeah. God, if I don't finish this meal with gout, I want it all over again. Yeah. Yeah. I've just gone chaser as well. A gavaskon chaser, yeah, yeah, yeah. So port, gavaskon chaser, yeah, that's, I'm now replete.

Yeah. I was staggered to my bed. To your cabin. To my cabin. And it will be by now, it's snowing now, like crazy. And it's a dark, dark night. I might hear a bear. No, I won't cause I'm scared of bears.

Maybe you put your stories, maybe you put murder on your own. Yeah, Jeff and I would enjoy that. No, I won't because I'm scared of bears. Maybe you put your stories, maybe put murder on the other side. Yeah, Jeff and I would enjoy that. Yeah, we would. That would be lovely. I'm having such a great time. I can't tell you. Cosy, cosy, cosy. I've got the top bunk, Jeff's in the bottom bunk. Oh, it's, it's bunk beds. You don't get a sweet, even in your dream. Jeff's in the bottom. So I'm random guy across the other side of the room.

No one else is on the straight, but we have choice of bunk beds and obviously I've gone to the top. Yes, of course. You can bend thing better than being on the top bunk. No, I can't. Let's see if it next to your husband. I'll see. Jenny, thank you so much for coming to the Dream restaurants.

Thank you, Jenny. Absolutely pleasure. I've had a lovely time. Well, there we are, James. That was a great episode with Jenny. I mean, I think we learnt so much about Jenny and her life about Jeff. Yes. Also, a really good menu. When I went on Reddit back at the end, I was like,

I didn't really take the time to appreciate how delicious this was. A very good menu that I would argue was absolutely soiled with mayonnaise. Now mayonnaise with the fish starter, yes please. Yeah. Mayonnaise on the bolognese. We had to let it go. We had to let it go man. Yeah.

I mean, and then, and then adding the salari at Ramilad. Yeah. So there was mayonnaise on the side as well. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, she didn't mention it, but I know she's different that cheese in mayonnaise at the end. One of them is, but it's baby belt.

You probably peel it and it's just mayonnaise inside. Yeah. Just a big, a big glob of mayonnaise. Yeah. But look, broadly, a fantastic menu. Yes. And, you know, I didn't even get that angry at the lack of dessert. Well, I'm glad you didn't.

Yes. Well, I know that Jeff is in the same room. Yeah. Eating his body weight in my ranks. Yeah. So I'm okay. Big pink morangs and jelly and ice cream. Yeah.

Yeah. I love that episode. Do you go and see Jenny on tour? 60FFS XXL? Yeah. 60 plusFFS XXL. That is touring now, that show. And do listen to Jenny's podcast that she does with Judith Holder, older and wider available wherever you get to your podcasts. We've been sent some food. Oh, also. Thank you, Jenny, for not saying a clear.

Oh, thank you, Jenny. We've been sent food, Ed. Yes. And we'd like to say thank you for that food. Yes. Because it's nice for people to send us the food. Thank you, Jenny. We've been sent food, Ed. Yes. And we'd like to say thank you for that food. Yes. Because it's nice that people send us the food. Thank you. First of all, actually, thank you to the people that rovey percent of me, that food. Yeah. Well, I did, I did, I did, I very much enjoyed it.

Yes. I can't love it. So I love those things. You know what, I'm going to steal that little, that little trick of buying the chefs a beer. It makes you feel so good. Yeah, that's great. It's real class.

Because that's what you have to do in sushi restaurants, you know, in Japan. Is it? You can't, there's no tipping in Japan. So the traditional thing to do is buy the chef a beer. I love that. Yeah. I mean, I really recommend it to everyone listening. If you like it, you don't want to go, if you feel a bit awkward doing compliments to the chefs or whatever, send up, I have had a beer for the chef. Also sometimes you don't really know how they do the tips or where the tips go or anything like that. So if you say, by the chefs of beer, there's a tangible thing that's going to the person

that's cooked your food. Definitely going to the lovely thing to do. Yeah. And obviously if they don't drink, you can buy a emergency beer. Yeah, buy a emergency beer, a diet coke. You know, I could keep listening to drinks. Yes. We've been sent some coffee, James, and Round Hill Roastery.

I'm wide awake. This, I mean, look, it's brilliant, the stuff that we get sent, because it gets sent to the studio, to the place of studios. I'd say this is the most well-stocked podcast studio slash live promotion's office in London. Yeah, yeah, we have a lot to offer, I guess, when we come here, including the coffee from Round Hill Roastery. We also got sense and beers from Rooster Brewery. Oh, which I'm sure we'll get drunk at some point when we have one of our sexy late night episodes

or more likely the place of Christmas party. Yes, or more likely after a real tough edit of Anita will drown his soul his own hair. Yes. Talk to Toast about us. Yeah. And I'll appreciate my talent. LAUGHTER Also, thanks to the Derslaid Farm Shop, James. Oh!

Send us a lovely hamper of things. I believe the things I took home were some chocolate-covered honeycomb, which my wife ate. She enjoyed it. Some lovely granola, which I ate, and also some nagrone, which I'm yet to have, but I'm very excited by. Thank you, Doeslay Farm Shop. All is forgiven for locking Harry Potter under the stairs.

Thank you very much for listening. We will see you again next week, probably. Bye-bye. Goodbye. next week probably bye bye. Goodbye! Hello, I'm Sarah Pasco and I'm Carrie Adloid. You might remember us from the peak of our careers, appearing on the excellent off menu podcast. It's the greatest we've ever felt and we know we'll never achieve that again. But if you remember those episodes and enjoyed what we did, you might be a fan of our book

choices and our new comedy podcast, Sarah and Carrie Ed's Weirdos Book Club. Imagine us not talking about food but talking about books. But with the comedians you know from off menu, like Nish Kumar, John Kern, Sophie Juga and more. We're not copying them, we're doing our own thing. It's totally different. It's about books. But with the comedians you know from off menu, like Nish Kumar, John Kern, Sophie Juka and more. We're not copying them, we're doing our own thing. It's totally different. It's about books. It's about books. There's no genies involved. It's a space for the lonely outsider to feel accepted and appreciated. I'm just like James A. Custer's bedroom. Ew. A place for the person who'd loved to be in a real book club, but doesn't like wine or nibbles. You can read along, share your opinions, or just skull-corrown to your raincoat like the weirdo you are. Thank you for reading with us. We like reading

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