Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 201: Angela Barnes

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

Mock the Week and Radio 4 star Angela Barnes is our next booking in the Dream Restaurant. And she likes to be able to hear her drinks. Angela Barnes is on tour with ‘Hot Mess’. For dates and tickets visit angelabarnes.co.uk.Follow Angela on Twitter @angelabarnes and Instagram @angela_barnseyRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's Ed and James from Off Menu here. Well, I hate to do this, but Nishkumas got a new standup special coming out, James. Yeah, listen, he's our friend. Yeah. So even if this was awful, we'd have to plug it. Yeah. Here's the problem. He sent it to me.

He asked me, can you watch it, just give me any notes on the edit. Yeah. Just, you know, that'd be really helpful. He knew it was already perfect. He sent it to me to make me feel inadequate. And it worked. Because the whole show was immaculate. I'm very annoyed that he did that to me, but I'm very excited for the public to see this special.

Well, he didn't ask me for notes, because he doesn't value my opinions. I'm happy to say it's probably quite bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you and Nish, you've known each other for longer than I've known even of you. And so he already knows that he's in your head. Also, I was there when it was recorded.

You watched it. Yeah, it is really good. So we knew that it all had got here. This is what you get if you ask us to plug your special mesh. Your power, your control is on sky comedy on demand from August 25th. Fuck you, Nish. T. T.

Welcome to the off menu podcast, opening the kinder egg of the internet, taking out the parts of the little toy that is humour, building the little humour toy, playing with it for a bit, throwing it in the bin, eating the egg. Kind of surprised. Kind of surprised. That's a gamble there. My name is James A. Castor. We own a dream restaurant. We invite a guest in every single week and ask them their favourite ever start and main course does a side dish and drink, not in that order.

And this week our guest is Angela Barnes. Angela Barnes, brilliant comedian. Fantastic comedian, a dear friend. We've known Angela for many, many years. Very excited to finally be able to get on the podcast. Can't wait to hear what her dream, dream meal is, has been meant. Yes, excited to hear it and it's just nice to catch up with Angela as well, isn't it? It is very good. Last time I saw her was the final series of mock the week and Nish and I had gone back for a little jolly.

And forgotten that it's actually very hard. Yeah, it's a hard show. And yeah, people like Angela really on the ball, who have been doing it like way more recently than us, really, really on every single topic. And I felt like I was, I was like, I'm falling behind. Well, yeah, it's disgusting. I watched that episode. You two shouldn't have been there. Yes, it's fair to say. It was a disgrace. Yep, absolute disgrace. But, you know, who's not disgrace is Angela Barnes, unless Angela picks the secret ingredient.

Yes. And the ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, and then with a heavy heart, we'll have to kick Angela Barnes out of the dream restaurant. And this week, the secret ingredient is, Scolette Bro. Scolette Bro. The orange bit. The orange bit. Now, we're getting specific, I guess.

I guess this is if if Andrew says Scolips will have to say casually. Do you want the row on? Do you want the row on row off? Row and row off. Yeah. And if she says row on we'll go get out please. Get out please. And then that will be that will be bad. I don't mind it.

Really if I ever lay my hands on some Scolips with the row on. Yeah. To cook. I just leave the row on. Well, yeah. I think if it's down to me, I'm taking them off. I don't like the texture. I don't think that anything flavor-wise, although, you know, I have been to places, very fancy places, I'll hold my hands up, where they say they remove those and then make

a separate thing out of it like a sauce or something. A moose powder even. Yeah. But I can't say I've ever loved those elements even when they're doing those weights. Yeah. And you know, I just feel you ain't making powder at home, are you? Listen, I'm not making powder and not like powder. No.

What? I make powder at home. What do you mean? I can't say anything else because the cops might be listening. Angela Barnes is on tour. She is touring her show Hot Mess. It's going to be a fantastic show and she shows always. Gag Heavy. Yes. And fantastic, he performed.

And so we come into a town or city near you soon. Make sure you go on her website and look at that. So this is the off menu menu of Angela Barnes Welcome Angela to the dream restaurant. Thank you for having me Welcome Angela Barnes to the dream restaurant. We're expecting you for some time. You know muck about it Never never muck about I've never been known to muck about this podcast. The journey doesn't hang around. No. I mean, it's pointless. I didn't even have to rub anything.

No, exactly. Yeah, that's the point. Yeah. I mean, some people have bought that up. Yeah. They said, why am I doing that when no one's rubbing like, also, you're out of the lamp so much as the journey. Why do you even go back in there?

Well, people can't. Don't see that. Yeah, you've got a bad mind between episodes. I mean, I'm in a lamp for a week. Yeah. So you can't be waiting for someone to rub. No. You're you've got a bad mind between episodes. I mean, I'm in a lamp for a week. Yeah, so you can't be waiting for someone to rub. No. You're just gonna, yeah, fair enough.

Also, it'd be an undignified format, but I think as a guest, if we told you, you've now got a pretend to rub a lamp and do that, I think our guests would be like, what? Been the first time in the entertainment industry, so it's been awesome to rub some things. So, you get on with a further neck, are you? But also, I think, rub some piece. She can't on with the further the career.

Also, I think it'd be fine. I think you'd happily sort of like go through with that format point of like pretenser rub the lamp. But when we have people in here that we don't know, come on. No, there's a lot of people who would not have done that. No. That's when it really shines a light on your idea, isn't it? Yeah. It's fine when it's someone you know well and you're just going to look at it and it's

just silly, it's fine. But then when I think Holly, when Richardy Grant's sitting in here, isn't it? It's fine when it's someone you know well, and you're just going, look, we're mucking about, it's just silly, it's fine. But then when, I think Holly, when Richie and he're sitting in here, suddenly it's, oh, Richie and Grant would have rubbed the hell out of that, man. He would have rubbed the lamp. But I think when we went to America for a couple of weeks to record episodes there,

I think every single guest we had there for us to rub the lamp, even the actors would have gone on, not pretending to do that. So I'm dignified. Yeah, that would have been, but you would have rubbed it if we'd have... I'd rub anything, actors would have gone on, not pretending to do that. So I'm dignified. Yeah, that would have been better. But you would have rubbed it if we didn't do that. I would have rubbed it.

I would have rubbed it. Yeah, you would have. I'm ready to smut you. I don't even mean to. Don't worry, you've already given your first, no context of menu quote that I'll be tweeted. And yeah, I've rubbed anything, Angela Barnes. Yeah, that'll be tweeted straight at you immediately.

Would you describe yourself as a foodie, Angela? Not in a master chef sort of way. Yeah. I am constantly thinking about what the next thing I'm going to eat is. I think that's what a foodie is. Yeah. It doesn't have to be like thinking about what you're going to eat in terms of the highest possible quality of ingredients or anything like that.

But if you're like food focused. I'm very food focused. I wake up thinking about what I'm going to eat. And while I'm still eating it, I'm thinking about what the next thing I'm going to eat is. But not in a sort of, or what would be the dream thing I could have. It's how am I going to, when am I going to consume it? How am I going to fill it into my day? Yeah.

It is all consuming. And I panic if I think, what if I get hungry? I can't remember the last time I felt hungry. Yeah. Because I panic about feeling hungry. Only well organized. And I'm well organized. Only when it comes to food.

But I am. I am hungry so worse, isn't it? I can't. I mean, it's not to feel faint and light-headed and I can't be. No. And also, I think, I'm not going to be sharp if I'm thinking about, you know, I want my brain to feel nourished. Yeah, I guess so. I think maybe for me, if I've just eaten, that's want my brain to feel nourished. And, yeah, I guess so.

I think maybe for me, if I've just eaten, that's when my brain's at least sharp. For a bit, but then, you know, you've got to time it. You don't want to, I've made that mistake once. I remember being at the Creek in Greenwich on a Friday night, which is a sort of comedy club that can be a bit tasty. Especially on a Friday night. On a Friday night. And I don't know why I did this, but I have fish and chips before I went on.

I just walked on stage and immediately I was like, ah, I've made a terrible mistake. I can't, I can't think of what, I can't respond to anything. I'm sluggish. I can't, so I learnt my lesson then. You've got to be sharp for that gig. Got to be sharp. You can't have fish and chips for that gig. I've never done it because I know I'm not sharp enough.

That's a gig where I've walked on stage. You only get where this happened when I walked. It's about 10 years ago now. I've walked on stage and someone's gone, get back in the kitchen. Wow. And it's it. They've seen you in the kitchen eating the fish and chips.

Yeah, they have to. Yeah, they have to. Can you go and clear it up, Alex? Do you think you are? That's a good go. So, what's some fish battle on your face? I might have said this on the podcast before. The first time I am seeded up the creek on a Friday, a man sat at the side of the room. First thing he said to me when turn the fucking radiator down mate my nuts are melting off

You've not said that on the podcast before When you're the MC of a gift, I do think that you're also You can do everything you're in charge of the entire room I've got people when I'm ever seeing complain about the coat As it's you know, I could get my coat in the coat No, it's still me mate when I'm ever seeing complain about the coat, the situator, I couldn't get my coat in the coat. Nothing's didn't mean me. I'm not. Oh, but back in the days of I was on the old socials, every single gig before the whole

day leading up to the gig, people tweeting me, kind of parking there. Oh, yeah. I'm not so in that car parking for you. That's the thing, when I remember doing my first tour and it still happened because I've got a tour on sale now just yeah, but when you announce your tour and suddenly it's why aren't you coming here? Why aren't you coming here? Are they tickets left for that one? It's not the box office. Yeah. And I can only go where they want me. It's so disconcerting announcing a tour and then all of the rest you're like, oh, I've got a

few responses about this and it's all why aren't you coming here? It's like, but no one's tweeting me going, I'm glad you're coming to oh, I've got a few responses about this. And it's all, why aren't you coming here? It's like, but no one's tweeting me going, I'm glad you're coming to my place. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Do you know how long a tour would have to be to go to every town in Britain? Yeah.

I'll mark steel. He's been doing that radio, she's doing that for 12 years, and he hasn't done every town yet. The worst, I'm doing some dates in Australia, and I was like, so excited to do it. And I was like, I'm coming to Australia, guys. First response, why aren't you coming to Singapore?

Yeah, absolutely brilliant. Why aren't you there? Well, I just, there's, there's, Is it your racist? Yeah, it's because I'm racist. And there's no gigs that I'm aware of. You're a bad man. I'm a bad man. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my I tripped anything, but that's what's happened to me. Yeah. Don't do anything about it. I'd like the idea to just slowly through that.

Yeah. Give the podcast a time frame. Yeah, I'm just kidding. You're a natural beta. So you're chairing outside. Yeah, it knows. Yeah. It's something that high up.

You got your feet in the lamp. Is it sucking you back in? Yeah, that's what it is. I'm just going winding back into it. Finally. I did a tweet once, where I just said, I'd announce the dates. All that stuff had happened. I decided a tweet to say, and just so you know, if I'm not tweet once, well, I just said, you know, I'd announce the dates. That all that stuff had happened. I decided a tweet to say, and just so you know, if I'm not coming to your town, the only

reason is because I specifically don't like you and you're an awful audience member, thinking that would be funny. Everyone took it personally. Oh, you just got to say. Thank you very much. Nothing you can say on Twitter that someone won't take person is. There's nothing that you can say that won't be, oh, it's fun, isn't it? Yes, but let's talk about your tour though.

Yeah. Okay. The show is cool. Hot mess. Brilliant. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. And then I want to, I got distracted. So ended up the show being a bit more about certain things that happened during the pandemic. And, but it's, it's funny, but it's also got

a little bit of heart, I think. Yeah, you're very good at that in your shows. Thank you, Ed. Because a lot of, a lot of people, oh, this show's going to be about something it's going to be so emotional. And then it all goes towards that. But your peppered with jokes, like there's always brilliant writing in there. Oh, thanks. I do think you can come into a comedy show.

The bottom line is, if you come away and you haven't laughed, there's a bit of a problem, isn't it? Yeah. But there's nothing wrong with being funny about things that are sad, is that make sense? But I wouldn't ever do a show that's just here's a story of something terrible that happened. It's got to have gags in it.

That's the deal, right? Yeah, well, I didn't mean to make up. Sometimes we can trick them. They don't know what the deal is. I need to sign nothing. If they leave a lie, I say you had to laugh. Yeah, that's true. This chair is pop-a-line now. Yeah.

Pretty cool. We always start with, there's still a sparkling water. Sparkling. I can't believe how many people don't say sparkling water. A lot of people, more than half, I'd say. It's a big division as well. What is, what? Why would it, it's fizzied, it's joy, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I obviously sparkling water. Celebratory. Celebratory. I have a glass of sparkling water by my bed. Well, that's crazy, I think part of it is I've got like I've problems with my ears, so I wear sort of hearing aids and things, but anything sort of internal in my I can hear because it you don't hear it through your ears, you know, you hear it, some sort of bones in your skull and stuff. So I can hear fizzy water. And that's really exciting. It's like, oh, that's a really loud, lovely, and it feels like it's sort of soothing

my ears. So you worry that if you were drinking still water at night, you wouldn't be able to know if you were drinking it or not. It could be anything I drink. It could be anything. It could be anything. I can't hear it. Yeah.

I like to hear my drink. Is that normal? A multi-sensory experience drinking the Spartan water. We've not had that before. I think fizzy drinks are a bit, it's a bit like, what's that stuff? Popping candy, you know? It's a bit like that, that sort of, when you can hear it in your brain, you know, it's just amazing. Do you have a pot of that next to your bed as well? Always. I start to think my teeth for it, actually.

What is the best food to hear? Oh, that's a good one. Well, obviously anything crunches quite good to hear. I mean, Poppy Caddy, I've already said that's, I can remember so clearly the first time I had it, it was on the front of a copy of the Bino, they gave you a free, yeah, yeah, yeah. Space dust.

In the, what? The space dust as well. Space dust, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or used to get highland toffee sometimes on the front of the Bino. Because it's got, there was a little packet of space dust, and I remember going to the park with my friend and I opened it and I put it in my mouth and then I think I thought I was having a seizure.

I was like crying, I was like something's terribly wrong. I just always been a hyper-conjure. And I just found my friend and I was like, no, no, no, it's supposed to do that. I was like, no, it's not. I was like, it's not. And then when I realised that I wasn't dying, I said, okay, again, this is great. Get me another one.

What more now? I'm gonna get the me and I again. Warheads, did you have warheads at that age? The super sour lemon warheads, these sweets that were like, there's a challenge on the packet for how long you could last about spitting it out. I got like jaw breakers sort of. Yeah, they were like, these really,

like the most sour I've ever had in my life. And yeah, we used to try and like properly do the challenge of how long you can keep it in your mouth for. And then they released hot ones. Like, it was just like super like, I mean, they were horrible. Yeah. You've seen those, you know, the jelly belly bean thing,

like the really good flavours, but you can get the ones, I can't remember what they're called. I bought them from my god someone's where it's like a Russian roulette one, and some of the tastes of like dirty socks or vomit. Yeah, I see, I see. Yeah, they're pretty great. I've never understood that. No, why would you want to buy them?

If you're buying yourself sweets, yeah. Why would you want to make sure that some of them taste the vomit or... No, but it's quite nice to do that to children. Oh, yeah, yeah. That, you know, buy them for children for Christmas, that way. Technically, they love the most sweets and then... Yeah, exactly. They got to children. Oh yeah, yeah. That, you know, buy them for children for Christmas, that way. Technically, they love the most.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. They got to know. Yeah, that's, I can understand that. Yeah. I also, they get really excited about it, like, especially because of Harry Potter and stuff and like the birdie botts being. So like, my nephews, if I said to them, like, yeah, some of these tastes like, you know,

piss and shit. They would be really excited about it. They would, they would, they would, they would, they would, they would, they would have the same thing. They would never be really excited about it. Until they got what the tasted like shit. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were excited. I don't know if I'd notice. Because I don't know what shit tastes like. Come on. Yeah. It smells like. Yeah, but I don't want to taste. I know you, Ed, I know you know what it smells like. I do know what it smells like. Well, I see. If you know what it smells like, know what it tastes like. But then why does, I've never understood this. Why does shampoo smell so nice, but tastes so horrible? Oh, yeah. Why does it taste what it smells like, no, what it tastes like, but then why does, I've never understood this, why does shampoo smell so nice, but taste so horrible?

Like why does it taste like it smells? Yeah. And why does it smell chemically, but it tastes chemically? How do they do that? So you're saying shit might taste nice. Right, tastes like shampoo. Yeah, yeah, it might taste delicious. Shit might taste like shampoo smells.

Yeah. That tongue twister. Shit might taste like shampoo smells. Yeah, I really can't do it. Yeah. I like the theory. I also don't like anything that doesn't taste like shampoo smells. Yeah, I already can't do it. Yeah. I like the fairy. I also don't like anything that doesn't taste like it looks. That's why I've got no desire to go

Heston Blumenthal and go, Oh, it looks like this, but it's actually much potato. No, I can't deal with that. I want to taste like it looks like it. You must hate that show, is it cake? I actually love is it cake. I do, I do love is it cake. Didn't have to, I thought, I thought I had to explain the premise. No, I've got it cake. I do, I do love is it cake. I thought it's gonna have to explain the premise.

No, I love it. I love it. I love it. What's not to love? They bring on a cake. Sometimes it's cake. Sometimes it isn't cake. It's so simple.

And I say, I think that there we are, those are, you know, comedians sit there writing jokes and scripts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all that people want. Or that they want. Is it cake? If you want to get a Netflix series in the minute, all you have to do is think of a food competition show.

It can be anything. And I think that they would buy it off you. I do watch it. Have you watched, someone I watched recently, pressure cooker? Did you watch that? I watched a bit of pressure cooker. It's sort of the way she's like. Traders crossed with MasterChef kind of.

Yeah. What's not too loud? They got to say they were faithful. They sort of form alliances and they bitch about each other. So they have to cook. So they're sort of judging on the food, but also judging on who do I want to get rid of strategically because they're a better cook than me.

So I want them gone. So being a good cook doesn't mean you're win. This is the proper, it's like the actual restaurant industry. Yeah. I've excited about this. I've seen it advertised on them for like, it would be like all the others. I didn't know it was like, oh nice good. Cup, throat, reality TV. I'm gonna get on that. Poblums, open, poplums, open, Angela bars,

poplums, open, bread. Bread, obviously bread. Why? I don't get me wrong. I love a pop it on. Big fat oily crisp, what's not to love? But bread's so much more choice in bread. Yeah. And I am a bread fan. Like I'm sure everyone says it, doesn't like me, but I like bread, I could just eat. Does it, how much does it not like you though? It does, I am sluggish after bread, you know. Yeah.

Like you just, but then I do eat too much of it. Yeah. I can't, and I will live on, I'm not a cook. Like I love food, but I hate cooking. I hate it to my bones. Luckily I live with a man who loves cooking. Yeah. But I hate it. So left to my own devices, but I hate cooking. I hate it to my bones. Luckily, I live with a man who loves cooking. But I hate it. So left to my own devices, my husband goes away.

I mean, in Salah cream sandwiches for a week. That's what I'm just, it's just really bread because it takes no time, and I don't have to think about it. Salah cream sandwiches, Angela. I can't, I can't, that's like, that's pretty good. I was a pique over there. I love Salah cream. I love Salah cream.

You're not one of my favourite, it almost made it into my list, but I did it in the end, so I couldn't work it to go with everything else. One of my favourite comfort foods is a bowl of bird's eye peas mixed with salic cream. Oh, that's my safe fun to taste. No, I would not pass that as a comfort food, because that would not comfort me at all. Have you tried it?

No, but I know all of those ingredients, and I can, I know, well, all of those ingredients, I know peas and I know salic cream, and I've eaten from. I've got nightmares. No, but I know all of those ingredients, and I can, I know, well, all of those ingredients, I know peas and I know salad cream and I've eaten from a bowl before. But I don't think I would enjoy that, no. Oh, that's because you're posh. See if you would like. Don't you bring class into this? James, what do you think it sounds like?

I think it sounds revolted. Yes. You're not a salad cream fan. No. I quite like, can you keep James being posh? I don't know. Absolutely not. He is is poshing me. I mean, in the, you know, I'd say, say, say.

There's a gradient here and I'm, right. So this salad cream sandwich you're having when your husband goes away. Yeah. Are you literally just talking about? I, when I was a student, right, I, I did not eat well as a student because I just, I know, I wasn't one of these people go, oh yeah, these are the rest because my mum taught me. My mum worked full time and I was growing up. We have Finder's Cuspy pancakes or chicken nuggets or like there was no standing at Ernie in the kitchen watching her cook, it just didn't happen. So I went to university with no cooking

skills at all. And you know, we just had like a little one of those baby bellying cookers with two rings on and that was it, you know. So I just had a loaf of bread and some side cream in the fridge and some butter. And I would just, a white bread, like, you know, obviously the cheapest Tesco value white bread. And I'd go, I'd better eat some of it if I'm going out drinking and I'd have a couple of slices of that.

And I wouldn't even, I just put the butter on, squeeze the salicrimon and then just fold it and eat it. That would be- I was not even not, two slices of slice it, now I just put the butter on, squeeze the saline cream on and then just fold it and eat it. That would be easy. Not even two slices of the slice it nice, like no, just fold it in. We just read the saline cream or just squeeze it out. No, I just squeeze it on a sort of rub it round a bit. Yeah, that does the spreading.

Don't call it, it doesn't it. Otherwise, you got washing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it doesn't even wash it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Now, as a student, I completely understand that. Yeah.

You're saying you still eat those? Yes, I'm 46. LAUGHTER I still... It always has to be said. My husband was really good. If you notice, the salad cream is getting low. We'll go, oh, we bought you more salad cream. Just getting low.

Has to be salad cream in the fridge. And salad cream is kept in the fridge. Catch up, no, salad cream, yes. Okay. You're right, okay. It's just nice and cold. Yeah. And yeah, I will often just sometimes, I'm so lazy. I just can't like

put butter on the bread feels like cookie. So I just get the bread and squeeze the salad. Well, to be honest, actually, the butter in there threw me a little bit because I was like, I would just think it would be salad, cream and bread. And actually, I think I would rather have if I had to eat one of them, I'd go for the just salad, cream and bread. I don't think I'd have the butter for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nice with the butter, I'd go for the just salad cream and bread. I don't think I'd have the butter for sure. It's nice with the butter, definitely. I'll believe the experts.

More sort of luxurious and rich. I love salad cream. Right. But just salad cream and a sandwich, you're not tempted to put a bit of cheese in. You can buy pre-sliced cheese if that's what you're worried about. No, no, just takes away from the salad cream. I love the, maybe it's that same thing as fizzy water. It gives you that little hit.

Like, I can't hear Salad Cream. I feel like I know what it sounds like. Yeah. So what do the peas do with the Salad Cream? How's that work? I love peas. Peas are the best vegetable in the world. No preparation.

They're just in the freezer. And then the only frozen vegetable that doesn't make them horrible. Do you know what I mean? I don't, I don't, I don't have fresh peas and I don't think they're better than frozen peas. Oh, really? Whereas most vegetables, the don't, I don't have fresh peas and I don't think they're better than frozen peas. Oh really? Whereas most vegetables, the frozen version is obviously horrible compared to the fresh version, but peas, I don't think, this is really easy, just hot water.

Okay, so you are heating them up. I am heating them up. For a second there, because you're like, you're getting straight out of the freezer. There we go, straight into the salad cream. That's why, I mean, I need to a bit more time if I'm going to have peas and salad cream. Yeah, of course, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've got stuff to do. And then peas and salad cream, if I'm feeling like, I've got a bit of time.

I can support me. It's just why I don't, I think about food a lot, but I don't think about, because I hate cooking. Yeah. I don't think about preparing food myself until I'm already hungry. Yeah. Until I'm, it's time to eat. And so it's all about speed, which is why I eat out too much.

I get takeaways too much because I'm not not someone who goes right on a sundown, I'm going to sit down and plan my meals for the weekend. It just doesn't happen. Sure. Yeah, that's tricky. And if you did do that, you'd just write peace, peace and salagrome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who would all be salagrome?

My hello fresh deliveries just to the box of the bread. It'd be like in the shining, but they find out what he's been writing. It's the same thing I ever and over again. So box of bread. It'd be like in the shining, but they find out what has been right. It's the same thing I ever went over again. So your bread, is your bread course the salad cream sandwich? I don't think it is actually, because there's something I want from my dream. Can I just say, like, for the in the dream restaurant, I'm assuming that, you know, heart problems aren't a considerate. No, I mean, not worried about cholesterol or...

It depends. If it's your dream to have heart problems. Yeah. Then by all means welcome to men. Yeah, we won't block anything you want, but like, yeah, if you want anything, you know, there's no medical stuff that even exists when you're in the restaurant. So now I'll choose to get told by this menu. I'll affect you at all. Brilliant. In that case, for my breakross, I want something that are called taltons, and that's T-O-U-T-O-N-S, and they're a newfoundland thing. So my mum's family are from Newfoundland in Canada, and they make these for breakfast. And it's supposed to be, it's like left over bread dough, when you make bread. It's a left over, obviously I don't make bread and have

left over bread dough. So I have to have someone else make toutons for me who can cook. But they deep fry them and then you eat them with butter and black molasses. Oh my God. Traditionally, they were fried in pork fat. Right. So you'd fry them in pork fat and you'd have them with what they call scrunchies, which is like little rendered bits of pork fat.

So like crackling, but in little tiny pieces, that's yummy. And then you have it with black malacism butter as well. And it's just like this sweet, fried bread, and it's so delicious. And I've never seen it anywhere, but in Newfoundland. And I want it from a place called Mad Rock Cafe, which is there's this hiking trail in a little place called Bay Roberts in Newfoundland. And it's got this cafe on the hiking trail. And the people that work there are amazing. I don't think they've ever left that cafe. I can't imagine them existing in any other place.

And I went there with Matt my husband when we first got together we went over there and we went into the mad rock cafe and I'd never been there before and my cousins were like, oh you've got to go, you've got to go and they were, it blew their minds that two English people were in the cafe. Like English people don't go there. Absolutely blew them. They were getting the staff, I'm coming listen to this,

go listen to this, it's amazing. And it's Madrock, Cafe and Crafts. And so I think the sort of matriarch of the cafe, she knits and makes like mittens and socks. It's her own sale sailing there as well. And they are the best homemade town that they are not worried about cholesterol. Yeah, yeah. They will fry it in butter, in pork fat and whatever they've got. And there's just these juicy bits of dough and you then you just think, well, that's not bad enough

for me. I'm going to pour pure sugar cane. At that point, you might have. Once you fried it and all the parts from the stuff, and yeah, just go for it, right? Bring it on the molasses. Yeah. Yeah. I think all regular listeners to this podcast have just heard what your breadcourses and gone were in for a good episode.

Yeah. The good. Yeah. That is a, that is a very specific. Well, I like, I mean, you know, unsurprisingly, the first mention of toutons, the first mention of toutons, whatever. Well, I hope that would be the case, because I thought, well, I'll surprisingly the first mention of toutons, the first mention of toutons we're over. I hope that would be the case,

because I thought, well, I'll bring a little bit of my culture. Yes, yes. This is to the podcast. Also, you're getting it from a certain place as well. This is what I like to see in the dream menus. Is someone thinking outside the box, go into a certain place to get them, knowing exactly what the dish is.

And I love it when people have something for the breadcourses that is a proper dish as well. Well, bread roll, because I'm a sucker for it, if I'm in a restaurant and there's bread rolls on the table, I have to eat them because they're there. And I feel like I don't know if a past me grew up in the war and has that whole mentality of you have to eat it all. I have to eat it all, otherwise, to eat it all otherwise, you know,

this, the whole, this children starving someone stupid thing to say, we can do send it to them. I don't know. But the idea that I will eat the bread and then it will ruin my dinner. And it doesn't matter that I know that. Yeah. The bread's in front of me, I'll eat it. So I want it to be a dish that I've chosen to have rather than just go, oh no, I've eaten all the bread and now. And it feels like part of the meal. So if you are in a little bit of full, it doesn't matter because you've already had a really nice dish. Exactly.

Exactly. You've not full up on just boring bread rolls. You're full up on something yummy. On toutons. And I'm a firm believer, like salt, fat and sugar is what makes everything nice, right? I'm not going to shy away from those things. And anyone who comes on here and says,

I'm grilled fish and salad, are lying to themselves. It's rare, but it does happen. Yeah. That's like, that's like a series that salt, fat, acid, to themselves. It's rare, but it does happen. Yeah. That's like, that's a series that salt fat acid heat. And I was like, where's the sugar episode? Oh yeah, it's a, yeah. Like the excuse, excuse the fuck, what? Yeah, where is it?

Well, I guess fat acid is in puddings, right? That should be a sugar episode. Yeah, they definitely should. I'm very team sugar, I know your, I'm a medical aversion. I'm still team sugar. Yeah, yeah. a medical version. I'm still team sugar. Yeah, yeah. Cause I remember once getting in a car with you

and you had a packet of cherry tomatoes and you described them as diabetic haribo. And I thought you're just kidding yourself mate. I'm sorry, I know you asked for that. I was definitely kidding myself. I was probably kidding you as well. It's not cold. Try out material and have a comics in the community.

I don't remember saying that and I never used it on stage. Thanks Angela. You've had a new show. That's straight in. That's the war by stage. You're the punitive of a TVTermata. That's the next new thing.

I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata.

I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going to say TVTermata. I'm going avid supporter from the sidelines. So you'll watch it. You're not offended by teams. Because I don't, I just, people who say I don't have a sweet tooth, I don't like sweet things, are the same people who say they like jazz. They don't. They've just learned to say that because they think they make some look like a grown up. And they've even started to believe they like jazz.

They don't like jazz. No, like jazz. Of course, they don't like jazz, but they've said it so much they believe it. And that's like, like, I only like dark chocolate, 70% like, no, they don't like jazz, but they've said it's so much they believe it. Yeah. And that's like, oh, I only like dark chocolate, 70% no, you don't. No one does. I like all chocolate. Yeah. I like the, I do like the dark stuff. It's fine if there's nothing else, but if you've got a minero here and a 70% cocoa fancy thing, minero all day, every day.

I do disagree with that. If that's the, yeah. Oh, you're not a mint chocolate fan. Don't mind it, but I would rather eat the 70% chocolate. But you're wrong. But that's fine, but you can have the error, and I'll have the 70%. Yeah, then we can we can resist, right?

Here's a controversial take for you. I prefer the mint Evo balls to the actual mint Evo chocolate bar. I can understand that. Is it still with surface area coverage? It's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit creamier. There's something creamier about the texture of it. Also I think a mint arrow is too fragile to have to snap a block off. Yeah, it makes the mess really snap it.

Where's the arrow? Bulls. You're whackin' mint. It's not that mint. I'm a handful of them. I'm a handful of them. I like having a handful of them. Not one at a time, those bulls.

Chocolate mint or chocolate orange, what's your? I'd go, I'd like both, but I'd go chocolate mint. See, I love chocolate mint and chocolate orange. I couldn't, I made me decide, be like, deciding between my twins. I'd better do it. Yeah. I love that. I've never seen someone set up a hypothetical situation that they have no absolutely no plan on answering themselves. That they couldn't do it. Trucker minute or trucker orange. I couldn't decide personally. Yeah, I could never do it. I could never do it.

I can't believe I've asked you. I'm sorry. I have a question. Yeah. And someone who likes food look like what it is. What if I gave you what looked like a Terry's chocolate orange, but was actually chocolate mint? How would you feel about it?

I'd ask you what I'd done to hurt you. Yeah, it is. I think why would you do that to me? Well, James, we've known each other a long time. Why would you do that? I'd ask you what I'd done to hurt you. Yeah, it is. Why would you do that to me? James, we've known each other a long time. Why would you do that? It would be very weird. It would be very weird. My husband really takes a mickey out of me for this

because he thinks I'm the only person on the planet who thinks this. I love, I love mint chocolate, banana mint chocolate, but I can't abide any red fruit with chocolate. Like, I know cherry and chocolate is a thing. I know people love it, but they're wrong. It's disgusting. I can't red fruit with chocolate. Like, I know cherry and chocolate is a thing. I know people love it, but they're wrong. It's disgusting. I can't red fruit and strawberries and chocolate

are as we say chocolate. No. Really? Yeah. So you don't like strawberries dipped in chocolate? Absolutely. I love chocolate. They're pretty sexy. I love strawberries.

I have no. Strawberries dipped in chocolate. Pretty sexy. Pretty sexy. I'm afraid an arrow is sexier. Min arrow definitely. Melt that down. Amazing. People love strawberries and chocolate, that's sex horrific.

I love strawberries and I love chocolate but together it's just, this is something not, my taste, I don't know what to do, I'm like, strawberries and I'm like, chocolate I don't like. That's why it's sexy. Yeah, yeah, because yeah, that's what sex is, right? We don't know what to do. You're all like, oh no. What's happening? What is this? Is this me, is it you? Yeah. My dad's like, when he tastes that.

Yeah. Yeah. Cherry and chocolate is my dad's favorite combo. Oh. So he's going to be upset when he hears this. David, David, you're going to be a David. David, David, he counts the notes. His favorite, he loves it.

He loves the Gower Brownies. Gower Cottage, no, what it is. They do a cherry version of those. Oh, that's a happy man. I don't know. I love the two things set probably, but together I can't. And whenever we watch, my husband, I love MasterChef. We watch MasterChef together.

That's a real appointment viewing in our house. Whenever they combine cherries with chocolate, I'm like, are they fucked it? They were doing so well. So if you fucked it, I wish you were one of the judges. Just walking around the different benches. You thought, what are you doing, Jerry's in chocolate? Fucked it, fucked it, bye.

No, obviously you judge a country show, right? What happens when it's something that you personally don't like? Because they could obviously do a beautiful cherry chocolate thing that everyone loves because most people like it. It would make me gag to eat it, but I'd have to acknowledge that, you know, there's nothing I'd say before you answer it. This is the best question in anyone's ever asked you on the podcast. On this podcast, people have asked us before about stand up. I couldn't give a shit. But this is a very good question. I'm interested to hear Ed's answer and I cannot say that

often on this pod. Personally, there's very few things that I don't like. There's nothing that I would eat that would make me gag in the same way as cherry's in chocolate would make you gag. But there are sometimes things where I'm like, it's not I wouldn't choose it and it's not necessarily something I'm wild about. And in that scenario, you do have to sort of divorce yourself from the taste, the personal taste aspect and work out if they've managed to get the taste that they wanted to across onto the plates. It's more about technique. Right. And you look at the other judges and go, is this a good one? Basically, I asked Tom Kerriges, they've done it more clearly.

Yeah. Yeah. Always asked Tom Kerriges. If that just every time anything comes, Tom is this nice? I seem to like it too much. I like it if Tom likes it. You really like it? Then look at Tom and see his face. We do disagree quite a lot.

The thing I can't, I would definitely wouldn't be able to do is I'll look at a plate of MasterChef and go, that looks a bloody mess and they'll go beautifully presented. Yeah. And then I look at one and go, that looks a bloody mess and they'll go beautifully presented. And then I'll look at what I go, oh, that's lovely and they'll go, what's this mess? And I'm like, what I might not see in it, you'll see. I don't know. If it's just not been dolloped out of a bowl, then it's pretty, right?

Yeah, I've made an essay. That's been dolloped out of a god damn bowl these days, am I right? Yeah. Stream starter. Look. OK, my art, it's been so hard. I did that bowl of peas and salad cream down as a potential, but I'm not going to go with that. If you put that, my art is sick.

Yeah. Again, I'm going to reiterate how there's nothing healthy in my diet, what is it? But mine is a deep fried haggis to start. I love haggis so much, but I like, when you have haggis in a nice restaurant, they give you a piddly little bit of haggis. And I, you know, city restaurant in Edinburgh, not city cafe, but city restaurant. The one that's open late at night with a red front, and the same woman has worked. I first went to Edinburgh in 1995, and she was there. Yeah, yeah. And I've, she's still there. She was there there this year and I have a deep fried haggis supper

haggis and shit is my it's Disgusting and beautiful and there's so much haggis in it. Yeah, and I have to stop right I'd have it every day left to my own I have to stop my I walked past it. I have to cross the road What the other side of the road to stop myself going in and ordering She's so cheap and so yummy isn't that that pie maker across the other side of the road? Yes, it's the way the hackiest pie is done. It's the way the hackiest pie is done. What a terrible mistake, man.

Well done, Angela, you've out. No, no. No. That sounds delicious. I mean, Haggis, you know, very underrated outside of Scotland. Everyone, like, you know, turning up their noses when they're, it's when you're a little kid. Yeah.

And someone tells you what's in it, and you get all silly about it, because you're immature, and then people just carry that food to adulthood, which is ridiculous. A grown person saying, oh, I can eat it, it's out of grow up. That's what I say to you.

You eat a sausage. If you eat a sausage, you can eat a haggy. Yeah, I know. I don't know, I grow up or shut up. I'm gonna make a shot. There you go, there you go. There's one more of the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a good shot, mate. Fine, you can find a haggy's discussing, I'll be weird and squeamish about stuff, but just shut up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. You can find the haggis discussing. I'll be weird and squeamish about stuff, but just shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to eat my haggis. Are you putting any sauce on it? The sauce from the city. Yeah. So it's a salt and sauce that Edin Brut. I don't like. It's like brown sauce, thinned with vinegar. Yeah. It's like, yeah, vinegary thin brown sauce. Yeah. So good. So I've got, I love it. I really want one. I could cry because you can't get it. Yeah, anywhere bit every time I go I gig in Scotland. It's the first thing I want to do when I get there. And I had this awful I was doing I think it was a tour show maybe in Glasgow and I was so excited. I was like, well, I'm

going to do what I've got to do and then I'm going to buy a hacky supper and I'm going to eat it and it's going to be amazing. And then I think I had to get an early train the next morning. So I did the show. I went to the chippy. I got there just as it was closing and and I got it back amazing. And then I think I had to get an early train the next morning. So I did the show, I went to the chippy, I got there just as it was closing and I got it back to the hotel and I was with excitement because I hadn't had one for it, opened it and they give me a deep fried pizza.

Oh, no. I'm actually crying. Oh yeah, I'm actually, I'm very emotionally invested in that story just now. So I noticed that, what that feels like. You can't wait. I'm so sorry, on the train, I've had been excited all through the recording.

I couldn't concentrate. I was so excited about my hangar supper. And if you had deep five pieces. So it is horrible. I still tried to eat a bit because it was there. And what are you doing to? Yeah. And it's cheap.

It's like horrible. It's like freezer pizza. It's like co-op pizza. Yeah, like the little ones. Yeah. And it's just, there's no flavor in it. There's no, and it wasn't a haggie. And I actually cried.

Because I wasn't even earning the next morning. I couldn't. That was the saddest moment. And you know what? I posted about it on Facebook. I was so upset. I posted about it on Facebook. And lovely, she knows Susan Morrison.

She's a Scottish comic. She posted me some haggis because she felt so sad for me. I'm trying to haggis. It wasn't even fries. Yeah, it could be. Yeah, it could be. Tripping on the jiffy bag. I'm thinking of you, Angela. The only, is this sadder?

No, maybe it is. I was going to do the New Zealand comedy festival. Every year, there was this place. Honey trap, it was called Cafe. Did the best sandwich I'd ever had in my life for this beef brisket sandwich. first of all, every year there was this place, honey trap, it was called cafe, did the best sandwich I'd ever had in my life for this beef brisket sandwich, every year looking forward to it. One year, the whole flight there, which let's not forget, it's like a day and a half. Really excited about it, got there straight to the place where essentially

a little arcade, the shops in, closed, closed for good, closed for life. They put that on the window. They said closed for good, closed for life. I was absolutely on the window. Close for good, close for life. I was absolutely devastated. But then... You shut down the chef. No, but they put on their website, the recipe for the sandwich. So me and my girlfriend at the time tried to make it.

We didn't nail it, but it was still... Discratch the itch a bit. It was a, we felt like we'd paid our respects to the honey trap. So if city restaurant ever closed, I can't, I can't speak, I'd be so upset. There's no way that place is so easy. I'd be so worried for that lady who's worked there forever. What would you do? We've only heard two of your courses

so apologies, but we can't. And both of them are in places where you think the people who work there never leave that place. That's what you seem to like. I do like that. You want that feeling, don't you? You want that feeling? It's like that feeling you get with your teachers that they live at school. If I bumped into the Haggis lady and she came to my show, I'd get out. What you got? Haggis to cook. Would you recognize her though?

Absolutely. Wouldn't you be like out of context, you'd be like. I imagine she would be wearing the apron. She has like a little black shirt, a black skirt and a black apron that she wears. And she'd be wearing the apron. Yeah. She has like a little black shirt, a black skirt, and a black apron that she wears. And she'd be wearing that, obviously. Yeah. And then head, head, head. And then head.

Yeah, I'd spot her in the audience. Yeah. Your dream main course. This was so hard. But I've, I've narrowed it right. It's got to be something from a German Christmas market. I'm a really, I love Germany. I love German history. I love learning, I love speaking German. I love everything about Germany. And I love going to Berlin for Christmas. We

were there a few weeks before Christmas this year. And nothing is the most comfort you can get from a food, food and environment together is eating hot food at a German Christmas market with a glass of glue vine. And it, my tip, if you're going to a German Christmas, don't, because they get a bit fancy, some of them, don't get, if they accept card payments, don't eat there. Only eat at the ones where it says, Nua Bar, it'll say Nua Bar or Nua Bar, Gilds, that means just cash, cash only. Yeah. Go there because they'll be more traditional.

Uh-huh. And usually served by a man with an amazing moustache usually. And they've such brilliant names like cut off all puffer or that's like these potato pancakes or a cheese or spetzel which is like a cheese macaroni type dish. So they're sort of version of macaroni cheese but a bit different. But my favorite thing is it's a liver dish like calves liver.

But sort of it's obviously been cooking for about 47 years in this that. And it's so tender and so soft and it's with apples and onions. It's I think it's mostly in Berlin, it's a real Berlin specialty, so a Berlin Alieber, it's called, and you have that with what they call Gronkull, which is this cabbage, which is again, been cooking forever, and it's got onions and herbs and stuff in it, but it's just together, it's just this bowl of liver and cabbage, but in the right environment, it's the best taste. It's so warming and Christmassy and your cheeks are cold and your hands are cold,

but your insides are hot. It's the best. Yeah, that's sound. I mean, you've sold it wonderfully. Yes. But when you really narrow down what it is, you did say it's a bowl of liver and cabbage. It is a bowl of liver and cabbage. It's a bowl of liver and cabbage. But you brought us there, though. Maybe the first time someone's main course has been liver? Possibly.

I love liver. When I was a kid, my nan use to cook liver when I was a kid, but she'd cook it, it was like boot leather. It was just, so I thought I hated liver and it was dry. And so I just assumed I hated liver. But then when you have liver that's been slow cooked and it's that lovely soft sort of and with a nice sauce with onions and ah,

carbs liver is beautiful. So nice. So nice. So the list is why we're surprised to hear that. Yeah. That he loves liver, specifically from a calf. Well, carbs, it's different, it's a different texture. Sure.

Lamb's liver is the one that everyone needs to have and hate because it's just, it over cooks and goes all rubbery. Carves liver, if you cook it right, soft, delicious. Carves liver bacon, mashed potato, onion gravy, hello. It's lovely. Again, I do think I was alive in the war. I think I must have it. I love awful.

I love haggis. I love liver. I'm not screaming about eating awful at all. Yeah, we've gone from haggis to liver. Haggis to liver. Some people are going to be listening to this menu going, this is awful. I know people are hated. Haggis liver. Haggis to liver. Pete, some people are going to be listening to this menu going, this is awful. I know people will hate it.

Haggis liver. What's your side dish? A witch's e-grub. I mean, you've got it in a shout out to the Salah cream and Pete. I thought it's not made it on there, but you know. It's just the most sophisticated menu you've ever had, is it? It kind of fits. It's about what is it about?

Because German Christmas markets do feel like, if something's, yeah, like they, they, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was going to do gigs just before Christmas in Switzerland with Sean McLaughlin. And we got the most lost I've ever been in a Zurich Christmas market. At the point we thought we live here now and I think that'll be fine. I could live here now. I went to an Estonian Christmas market once and I loved it. I don't know why it's like that part of the world. I think we can been somewhat, I think we can't do them as well here, because it's so rare that we get a crisp, cold day.

It's usually December is gray and drizzly. That's not Christmasy. Whereas Berlin is cold at Christmas, and it's that sort of cold but sunny, and your cheeks hurt, but it's nice. And you need that sort of weather, I think. And they just do it better. They, the food's amazing.

We were there the same December. We had fondue. We had, we were there the same December. We had fondue, we had, we ate at the Christmas market. We didn't go to any restaurants. Yeah, the Christmas market every night. Cause I just love the food. Yeah. And it's my happy place.

I, we were supposed to go the year before and I got COVID so we couldn't go. And so I'd been, I was really champing at the bit to get back to it. And I love Germany anyway. And I love Berlin particularly. And I go, because I'm a cold-worn nerd, so I go, you know, spend the day, go to the starsy buildings, or looking at bunkers or whatever,

and then in the evening go to there. And I've been on my own, like, to go to my own to Berlin, and it's nice. I do all the geeky history stuff during the day. If you're on your own, there's no one going, oh, God, bored. Yeah, yeah. Can we get some food?

There's no one doing that. And then, as a sort of woman traveling on your own, there's no one going, oh, God, bored. Yeah, yeah. Can we get some food? There's no one doing that. And then as a sort of woman traveling on my own, Christmas market is a nice place to go and eat, have a drink without just sitting a bar on my own. I just wander around. The most of the moments are sort of 11 or midnight and then go back to hotel. It's just a lovely way to.

And it's the liver, this dish. Is it quite popular at the Christmas market? Is it something that you specifically like? It's quite popular at the Berlin ones, particularly this liver dish, yeah. What were you imagining? I was like, I was like, I'm always wondering. I've got an idea.

Have you got any liver? You're actually, I don't like any of this stuff. You've got it off her. I bet it's it like. Yeah. Don't worry, specifically, it was the wrong word. Yeah. I was just like, this is something that you asked them to make.

I just love what you're doing here. I've got some carbs everywhere. Just wanted to think it just not me up something. You never know. I don't know how accommodating this Christmas. It's Christmas. They make wishes come true. If I told them it was what I'd ask Santa for maybe. Yeah. Yeah. They got their own dream restaurant.

So is there a long queue when you have to go for this? Yeah, often there is. Sometimes you have to wear it. Don't go to your trinomus. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I have to queue. I look at my, um, because I say I went with my husband who doesn't speak any German at all. Yeah. And I'm so quite proud.

I've got to a point in my German proficiency now wearing Berlin. If I talk to someone in German, they don't talk back to me in English. It's really nice to get to that level. It takes a while. I think I've got there now, whereas my husband does beat any, as well, but he likes to try, you know, so I'll tell him what to ask for and he'll go up and order it. But then if they say anything back to him, he's screwed. He can't deal with that at all, you know.

So I have to always go with him in order. Just lagging off and stuff in German. Yeah, of course. Yeah, but this prick hasn't even been to learn another rank. So typically English. Yeah. Oh, I'm just embarrassed, to be honest, to be with him. That's what I say.

Does he like the liver? He likes the liver, yeah. Yeah, he's another awful fan. So that's a romantic, don't he? Yeah, we get a lot of awful together. Yeah. That's how we met. That was good.

I was going to have to tell him, don't eat up and shut up or whatever it is. What's it called? Grub or shut up. Grub or shut up. Grub or shut up. Yeah, we had to deal with him. We were somebody who had to tell a grub or shut up or whatever it is. What's it called? Grab a push up. Grab a push up. Grab a push up. Yeah, we had to tell a professional. We had awful at our wedding.

We had Prime Minister Prime mash out. Right. So you really are taking a risk, but you crossed the road to get away from that city restaurant? Yeah. Your dream side dish. Okay, I'm going back to my new friendland roots again here a bit. I'm sure you've had this before on the podcast, but I'm going to say Putin on the side, but from a specific place.

Yeah, great. Because there's a lot of posh Putin about, and I'm not, you know, fine, I've posh Putin whatever, but proper street Putin. Just peas and salad crayon. Just a green cheese curds. Yeah, a mudge. In Newfoundland, in St John's, the capital, there's an area called George Street, which is the sort of party area, if you like.

There's not, there's a tiny place, so it's tiny, but it's all very Irish, Newfoundland. My granddad, everyone thought was Irish, have Irish accents with a tinge of Canadian. It's a mad accent. It's a mad accent. I can't even, I mean, I've grown up around that. I can't do it, but watch Come From Away. Yeah, I went to see Come From Away and I was like,

that how? These people are making this up, surely. It's funny, because I went to see Come From Away and it's lovely, it's just like this, since my father's beat. And by when the friend who's English, he, Kenway went, those accents are terrible. They've, like, no, they were spot on. People are seeing some bad Canadian accent they're doing.

But it's not. It's like, oh, no, that is, that's how they talk. Google, Newfoundland accents and... That's crazy. It's beautiful. It's a merit-based town. Is that anything to do with that area? Or is that, because Ken Winston was doing an accent in that.

That's an American, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. With Newfoundland, there's a lot of settlers from Ireland and Wales settled there in the 16th century or whenever. And one of the sad things about it is one of the only places I think in the world to have a complete genocide because none of the Native Americans left, like they all died out.

I think the last one was alive in the 1800s because they were all just, it's a fishing community. It's called cod fishing. And obviously the Europeans came, took over the fishing port, ran the edge, pushed all the natives in land, and there was nothing to eat, and they all died out. Lovely, tell us about the pictures. I'll be honest, Andrew, it's the first time

we've talked about liver of the dish. First time we've heard about a salad piezen salad First time we've heard about salad, salad, peas and salad cream. And it's the first time the phrase complete genocide has been used. Yeah, I'm sad. Also, you teed up the story with, this is a bit sad. And it is a bit sad.

I nearly jumped in with, well, probably don't tell it on the comedy podcast then. But before I go, the phrase complete genocide, I don't know who. I don't want to be done. Yeah, so Poutine. Yes. There's a little truck on George Street. When you come out of the pub, instead of getting a cabab, or whatever you go to the Poutine truck, and it's called Ziggy Peel Goods. I mean, it can be more up James's street right now. It's great. I look to Ed, and he's not even looking at me because he's like,

don't look at him now because he knows I'm going to love Ziggy Peelgood. Ziggy Peelgood. Oh no, I'm a big fan of Ziggy Peelgood, but I just know it's so up James's street and you will be hearing that name a lot in the rest of the episode. I will have brilliant, brilliant. Ziggy Peelgood.

Every other food you mentioned, it will be. Yeah. Ziggy Peel Goods. Every other food you mentioned, it will be like, does Ziggy Peel Good do any of that? Well, yeah. You just feel anybody, no, no, I'm not fucking us. Well, I'll do it. You'll still do that. Yeah. You can follow you that.

Oh, yeah, it's gone. So, so Ziggy Peel Goods, you've had a few beers. You've had a few beers. You go to Ziggy Peele Goods and you queue up, there's always a queue and you get there and you can have a classic poutine, your chips, cheese curds and gravy, or you can have their deluxe poutine, which is the one I like, which has dressing on it and dressing is the only way I could describe it, it's like packed so stuffing before you cook it. It's sort of like flavoured dust, basically.

It's bread crumbs with sage and onion and stuffing, but they don't make it into stuffing. They just sprinkle it on all-dressed chips. All-dressed chips. All-dressed chips, man. Never heard about this. That Montreal... Oh my goodness. Like, the best crisp flavour ever. Oh, okay. I've not had that. That is my one task if I go to Montreal. It's to bring those back for my wife. With a dressing flavour. Huge, like, yeah, all dress chips, it's like the sort of spicy, sweet, salty, like, every flavour in there. Yeah. It's amazing. On Poutine as well, I can imagine, that's insane. Obviously, it is so good. It's really like dressing on a hot turkey sandwich,

it's between Poutine, you can't really have a hot turkey sandwich as a sighted, but a hot turkey sandwich is just white bread, just like your mother's fried white bread with turkey in, and then gravy poured over it, and then you have vegetables and dressing on the side. That's one of the first things we have when we get to Newfoundland, my husband loves hot turkey. Does he get pill good sell this?

They don't sell them. Yeah, he's just PooTit, PooTit in all the way. Because you can't peel a turkey. No, I can't peel it. Yeah, you't peel a turkey. No, I'm being good. You can peel it. You can't peel it good, anyway. You can't peel it very good. But you can peel the Poutine.

You can peel the Poutine. Yeah. So thinking peel good, does the standard one and the deluxe one. You want the deluxe one. I want the deluxe one, so it's got the dressing. He does various different toppings. He does one with bacon bits, or he does like a Mexican Poutine.

Forget it. I want additional, but I want it with dressing. Is Ziggy a guy that works there? Yeah, sounds good. He does various different toppings. He does want to be like bacon bits or he does like a Mexican poutine. Forget it. I want additional but I want it with dressing. Is Ziggy a guy that works there? I don't know. If Ziggy is an actual person, like it's, I think I've seen different people in their serving.

Right. But do they claim to be Ziggy Pilgurd when they're serving? I mean, obviously everyone's, hey Ziggy, when you get there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all go on with that. I think for the duration that you're in the van,

you are, you're okay. You are Ziggy along with it. I think for the duration that you're in the van, you are. You are Ziggy Ziggy's, Ziggy's a feeling more than a person. I think so. It's like the doctor. Yeah. Yeah, VGNM8's and it's like a different person. It's like he's pale good. Exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. And the van is the hardest. And if I was excited about who's going to be Ziggy Pill good next, everyone gets angry if it's a woman. He can't have a lady Ziggy. Yeah, yeah. Why are we on?

The house, the lady Ziggy Pill good? I can't have a lady zingling. Yeah, yeah. What? The house, the lady zingling pill. The pill. The zingling pill got us a man and I know it has been. Well, I think the zingling pill goods, Poutine, with the dress in sounds great. I think it's a very nice. I'm very nearly, I have to tell you, I'm very nearly went for something a bit out there. I'm very nearly hard as my as my side dish a McDonald's

hot apple pie. And the only reason is I don't particularly, I'm not particular, I don't mind them as fine, you know, but I used to get them all the time when I was on tour with my support acts was always the lovely Phil Gerrit who's sadly no longer with us, but Phil was a real enabler when it came to late night McDonald's. And he still is because when I come home from a gig late at night now and I see I get that, I think I'm going to have a McDonald's and you should talk to myself out of it. But then I'm like, but it's what Phil would do. So even beyond the grave Phil Gerard is making me eat McDonald's late night. But it used to upset him so much that I'd have an apple pie. Like Phil Gerard, if you've never seen him do stand up, the king of Rant, like, so good at ranting.

Yeah, yeah. And I would get one just because I know it would make a rant happen. Yeah. I don't know why, but he was so angry that they existed. Really? Yeah, and I really don't know why. Like, we'd go to a driving, if he was driving, and he would be ordering, and go,

can you get me a hot apple pie, who'd go, no. I'd have to lean over, go, oh, bye, please, because he refused to order it. And then I'd get out of my car. I'd get out of my apple pie who go, no. I definitely know, we go, apple pie, I feel it because he refused to order it. And then I get it, go get out of my car. Get out of my car, if you need it. So now and again, you convince yourself to have a McDonald's because it's what Phil would have wanted. This is what Phil would have wanted.

But you nearly put apple pie onto this menu because it's exactly what Phil wouldn't have wanted. Exactly, because I miss hearing about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it just would make, I can hear it. If I'm eating a hot apple pie, I can hear a Phil Gerard rant in my head. And I can't. We can throw an apple pie in any way, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it gets worse. Maybe this or when you're over with a bag of carrots? Can the carrots take us? I can't look at me, I can't.

Why are you going to McDonald's? Yeah. It's only when, I only go when it's like the only place that's open, like really late at night, and I need something. You know, really late at night, you're like, oh, fuck it, I'll have a bag of carrots. I'm off on the way back from a gig or something.

I'm sober as a judge. I don't want to feel bad at the end of the day and it's because I'm not hammered. So I'll end up just getting those healthiest things that they've got so that I don't feel like, I'm bad. I used to respect you on this podcast. Because you stood up for sugar and you stood up for dessert.

And the joy of eating and the joy of eating. And you know, you don't have to grow up. You can enjoy sugar and sweet pizza forever. But you're going to McDonald's, you eat carrots. It upsets me that you're even off a salad because if I want a salad, I cut your place that does good salads. Yeah, you know who would like those carrots? Ziggy Peelgood.

They're a pill to perfection. They would peel good. They're pale to perfection. They were pale good. They're pale good. Your dream drink. My dream drink until very recently would have had to be a beer of some description. I did, John Robbins once described

is a thing that I just, I love this badge of so much. He called me one of, what was it, one of our generations, great points folk. Which I really like that, because I was always an ale girl. We had, again, at our wedding, we had beer on the tables instead of wine, because every wedding I've ever been to, they supply wine, and I've had to buy a beer, because I don't want no wine. So I thought, well, at my wedding, they can buy the wine, and drink my beer. So that's what we did. So we have beer and cider on the tables. But unfortunately, I've recently become somehow intolerant.

Oh, no. It's awful. It happened really quickly. And now, two beers and the next days are right off. She's very upsetting. But I got given some good advice, which is, don't worry, this is just temporary. Well, I'm a woman of a certain age

and I've got to get through the next few years, but your friend is Tequila, as what I was told, and 100% a Garvey Tequila, no hangovers, so a Margarita. Yeah, great. And specifically, so when this came about, I got really upset because I love my beers, So, when this came about, I got really upset because I love my beers. And so, my husband blessed him to get upon himself to really experiment with Margaritas. He's had some disasters. We don't talk about the horse radish margarita. Oh my God. It was ambitious. It was disgusting. You know that feeling, like if you have too much horse radish or too much wasabi

and it's... It's like that, but yeah, it was, and then it's a horrible bit. It was a hard about that anywhere, or did he just think, I'm going to try a horse rider. I think he read about it. I think and he ordered like it was all very, oh, I've got to buy this horse radish power. I'm buying online and I was like, this powder, I don't know, this all sounded, it's like I just sort of left him to it and it was, yeah, it was horrible. Yeah.

He makes very nice ginger margarita, but his best disease is chilli margarita. So, and obviously with a salt rim, because we're not worried about cholesterol or heart problems in this. So yeah, I would like, like a jug of my husband's chilli margarita. That is great. Is this a love it? Is it a frozen kind of disease? No, it's not frozen ones, which are nice, but this is, no, this is just straight up, no ice, Right. This is a love it. Is it my chance? Is there like a frozen kind of disease? I've done frozen ones which are nice, but this is no, this is just straight up. No ice. No, I don't like icing my drinks. I don't, I drink, I'll drink Coke like warm rather than, but you know, I'd rather have it room temperature. Yeah, yeah, yeah, then, but icing it. It waltz it down and also it makes my teeth hurt. So yeah. Both good reasons. Both good reasons.

I like a frozen margarita though. I don't mind it. It's what it's like, growing up slush puppy, right? Yeah. Slush puppy. I like that sort of ice where it's like part of the drinks, right? Yeah, exactly. When it's cubes and stuff. You get a cocktail with bits of ice floating around in it. Livid. Absolutely, livid. And also, if you order a drink in a pub or something and it's hard, that's just their way of,

you know, giving you less drinks. I always ask for no ice. All those cocktails with big cubes in them. My husband has those in the exe lights whiskey. He'll sometimes put one ice cube in a whiskey, but he has these big square ice cubes as well that he sometimes will put that in. Take it the whole glass. Yeah, it's just still pretty cool. You know who I think looks like a stink.

It's a key pill, good. I would never say that about it. Yeah, it's just still pretty cool. You know who I think looks like a stink. Ziggy Peel Good. I would never say that about Ziggy Peel Good. I'm sorry, Angela. I said that. I'm never taking a gamble to Ziggy Peel Goods ever. And the Slush Puppy Puppy. No way, man. What are you talking about? He doesn't just disgust it.

That Slush Puppy Puppy looks rank. No way man, what are you talking about? Isn't it disgusting? That's Lush Puppy Puppy looks rank. No way. You have a lot of puts me out, but it just smells like a look at that wet dog smell that slush puppy, that's what I think. Are you imagining him covered in his own slush, right? Yeah, well, if you're making slush puppies all day, you're gonna get wet and if you're a dog

and you're wet, you're gonna smell. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. I think it looks disgusting that slush puppy and they should get it off of the branding because like it puts me off nine times that of 10, I'm not getting that slush puppy and they should get it off of the branding because it puts me off nine times out of ten. I'm not getting a slush puppy. That little rank thing. It's called a slush puppy. Yeah, it's called a slush puppy. It's called a slush puppy still. Or whatever. But don't have that puppy on there with his little woolen hat. I think that makes it worse. It's sad. That makes it look like he stinks even more.

This is the most I've thought about slush puppies ever I think. I think it'd be a sad day when you walk into Kettering leisure centre and there's not a slush puppy machine. I think it'd be sad on that. That would be sad, but like, I wouldn't mind. If I walked in there and there's a slush puppy machine, but the actual stinky slush puppy is not on there, I'll be happy. Just do not see. How do you know it's a slush puppy machine? Hopefully it would say the word slush puppy on it.

But it could be made by anyone. But then that may think of the slush puppy, right? Well, yeah, then it's in your mind anyway. That's what I guess they need a new mascot. It looks a bit cleaner and looks a bit less rank than that little another animal. Maybe another maybe maybe Slush pussy Can't believe it Most disgusting

Even if I thought that even I would have said it yeah He knew he knew you'd like it. Yeah, yeah, big laugh from Angela. He knows you're all this. He knew you'd absolutely love Sposh Pushing. There's not many people that you say that in front of you. That's true. Launched right into it. That's true.

I didn't say that in front of Selenia Henry. Yeah, yeah. That would have played a silence. And we would have all felt sad after the episode. I think Lovers Losh Pushing him. Turn me her in. I think you'd love a slush person seeing him premiere in. I hope you don't miss the premiere. Oh God. Right?

I don't know. It's a good James Bond film. I've never seen a James Bond film. I don't know. I've always been a James Bond film. I'm trying to join in, but I'm just trying to make it less graphic. I'm trying to think of it. How about an animal that should be wet, like a slush duck?

Yeah, but if you say an animal that should be wet, it's going to say slush, person. Slush duckie at work. Slush duckie. Oh, I'll handle slush duckie. And the duckie can be called Ziggy Pilgrim, if you want. I think that's even cooler. You can't peel a duck. You can't peel a duck.

You can't peel a duck. You can't peel a duck. You can't peel a duck. You can't peel a duck. You can't peel a duck. You can't peel a duck. You can't peel only once, they'll put you in prison. Yeah, yeah. I think slush duckie, I would absolutely be fine with. Slush duckie. Yeah. Yeah, that's way less rank than the puppy. Or like an Arctic animal, I guess, like a polar bear.

Yeah, but then I don't slush berry. I don't know. I think slush duckie, it's fun. Yeah. I think slush duckie sounds more fun than slush puppy as well. And we can start like a high high end slush business. Yeah. Slush duckies, let's do it. A fancy slush business and take out slush puppy once and for all.

It's got to have like it's good profit margins. It's just ice. Yeah, ice ice and like syrup. Yeah. All you'd really have to do to wipe them off the face of the earth is just up your ratio of syrup because obviously everyone's main complaint about stosh puppies is you know two slurps and all the flavours gone and it's just ice. So all you got to do is shift the balance. Yeah you're so right. You can just destroy them. Can I say one more thing as well? Yes. Make your rails be red please. Make your rails be red. Make your rails be red. But you don't like red fruits. I like red

fruits. I just don't like the chocolate. Which is pretty much chocolate. Apologies. I don't have a fight. I don't want my recipe, but why is my recipe pretty? I thought I got you there. He's like the worst lawyer in the world. You're on it.

May I refer back to someone saying they did not like red fruit? What, we chocolate art shit? I'm going chocolate, it's a lot of puppy. Okay. Sitting down. Oh yeah, Well fair enough. Oh, here's a question then. If R I think citrus and chocolate is fine. Maybe that's the thing. Maybe it needs to be citrus, but I would banana and chocolate. But yeah, berries, maybe it's berries that are the problem.

Is it that you like, when it's mint and orange, there's often not the actual fruit in it, it's essence. Is the essence of, maybe. When it's red fruit, it tends to be bits of actual fruit. That could be the problem. Although I think I'd like, when I like, if you had orange segments and cover them in chocolate, you might be on something. They are good though, they are the orange. I think I already did that. I think I'd like... Well, I like, if you had orange segments, you covered them in chony. They are good though, they are the orange ones. I think I would

eat that. But not... Oh, yeah. Yeah, not. Maybe it's berries. I keep saying red fruit. Maybe it's the berries. A berry that's the problem. I like it when we help guests out. Yeah, I've got a lot of that, something about myself. Yeah. We arrived at your dream dessert. I'm glad that we just had some talks there about sweet things. Yeah. Because I know that we're... I don't have to worry about this. You're on a safe grant. We're on a safe grant. Yeah. And you're the son of the right team here. I, I, I, I, I love a dessert and I will always ask for the dessert menu. I have to be really

full to not have a dessert. I'll always find room for it menu. I have to be really full to not have a dessert. I'll always find room for it. Because I don't feel like my meal's finished. I've had something sweet. It's just not, if I've not had a dessert, I walk away and something's not right. It's, you know what I mean? That needs something sweet.

So, but I really love school dinner puddings. Okay. So it has to be a school, and I want it served in a school dinner, like those plastic sort of greeny colored plate bowls. What do you call that? things. Okay. So it has to be a school and I want it served in a school dinner, like those plastic sort of greeny coloured plate bowls. What do you call that? Plows. I've wanted it one of them. Plows. You know what the major is? Plows. Yeah. You know, the plastic plow. There's just got the mark of a million knife scrapes on it from the,

you know, it's been in that school since the 60s, whatever. Yeah. I want it served by a round woman who has been always been there. She's always been there, just like the others. And she's not okay with healthy eating in schools. She's one of the people who was pushing burgers through the school railings with one of them. I want it served by her. And I want trying to decide my first choice. I was going to go with Gypsy Tarts, which you may or may not know. That's a very Kent thing. Yeah, Joe. So long had it. Yeah. Oh, okay. So that has been in the restaurant. So I thought I might introduce it, but if he's already been introduced, then it is the sweetest substance known to man. It's like

it's brown sugar boiled up with condensed oil evaporated milk with sugar on top. Yeah. Very sweet. But condensed or evaporated milk, but works good to know. Good to know that they can't be they can't be traded in. Well, have you made that mistake? No, Ed, what did you try and make? Ed has these stands, but I do. I was with Jane to his mom. Oh, yeah. And she was making some bullshit ice cream. Like, like, and she said, you need condensed, I can't wish once she, she wanted condensed milk, condensed milk. And I looked't remember which one she wanted. Condensed milk. Condensed milk. And I looked up condensed milk on my internet shopping service.

We were doing lockdown. I was the only one who was going to get it really safely. And it came up with evaporated milk. So I thought, must be the same. Got it. This ice cream was absolutely crap. Like, I've never, I actually think I told him. I'm a told him. I told him, yeah, told him. Yeah, so it think I told him. I'm not told if I could lose that.

Yeah, she told him. Yeah, so he's all that hard. Well, he's not in any way. Is it diet on your mum? Yeah, it is. Yeah, but you know what's it? And then he's like, I'm fine. Can you condense milk?

Like is there a way you can make your own condense milk? I don't know. I'm not a good question. Good question. I had evaporated milk and I made it. And I think it was a scientific discovery because it never defrosted. It's still in this house now.

To perpetually frozen. It was amazing. Is it still there? No, no, no, I'd threaten the bin. It was horrible. Bad recipe. But good, interesting to know that gypsy type, you can use either. So they must be something.

I guess we've done that as a cook along. You'd have been okay. But we weren't. We were doing peanut butter slides. Can you fuck it, mate? Yeah. If you've seen gypsies, it's the most beige food ever. Which is beige on beige, a bit of beige. But it's super sweet.

I'm not going for that. You're not going for that. I'm going for that. I'm going for, there was a dessert we had at our school. That was, it was chocolate, but like hot chocolate spunk. And I've never had a chocolate spung as good as the one they had at school. It was a big square slab of it.

And they made this, it was a consistency of custard, but it was mint flavor and it was green. So it was just, the days when that was on, like you walk into the school hall, they've got the chocolate sponge and mint, sort of, they were the best days at school. Yeah. And I, cause I had, specifically as well,

while I'm eating, I thought a bit about the guests I want with me. Oh, yeah. While I'm eating. And there's two I want. Why don't you have to say, Zicky Peel Good. And a slosh puppy. And a slosh duck.

I want, you know, the standup comedian, Michael Fabry, is one of my best friends, his brilliant comedian. But going for dinner with Michael, I feel like there should be an Asimba documentary about it. It should have an Asimba, and what I might say, might sound like I'm saying he's discussed it's not in any way, I'm just finding fascinating

because you'll be chatted away, waiting for the meal to arrive. The meal will arrive in front of Michael, and he is head down in that meal, like conversation just stops, mid-sentence stops. And he doesn't breathe, like conversation just stopped mid-sense, it stopped. And he doesn't breathe, like he doesn't stop, doesn't breathe until the plate is empty and then he looks up and carries on wearing. And I would have had a bite during that time.

I've never known anyone eat so quick, it's that he can't possibly taste it. But I find it so fascinating and I say to him, like, did you taste any of that? Does he not feel like it? Have I any of that? Did you not feel that? I've done it again. Have I done it again? I've done it again. Well, it's blacked out there for sure. Why have they brought my food yet?

It's like moon night. But he does eat every meal like it might be his last. He's one of, you know, but I just love how it's, so I want him as one of my companions, just because it always makes me laugh. I'm not watching it. So I was just going to say. David Attenborough commentated.

Yeah, I should be there. And the other, when I, when my dessert comes, I want you to bring in a dinner lady for my school, who one day, so you got to choose your dessert. There's usually two or three desserts to choose from and you picked up and put it on your tray and sat down. And there's one day when there was a jam tart, I love jam tart, I paste you with a little dollar per cream in the middle, lovely. And I sat down and when I started eating it, it wasn't jam, it was rhubarb, and I didn't like rhubarb.

And I was expecting, I was expecting one thing, got another very upsetting. She has them, do you? And it really upset me. And she stood over me until I ate every bit of that. She wouldn't let me go. I was crying, I was gagging, and I was like, spit it out, she put it back in.

It was like it was hot. I'll never forget this maybe just horrible. So I want to eat my dessert. Well Mrs. Hodder sits next to me eating something she hates. Every single mouthful. She's not going home until she's done it. Absolutely. At the start of that, I thought, oh, a lovely dinner lady here. I just know you used to like, and then by the end I'm like, I'm just naming a didn't a lady that really inspired me. So that's the trunche ball. No, it is, I've just never forgiven her for that. Yeah, yeah, I'm just still going.

I always ate all my food, always ate all my dinner. I was never a fussy eater, I used to eat everyone else's cabbage because they didn't like it and I did. I was never that, you know, it wasn't like, oh, she never finished, she's open. Yeah. It's one thing, I picked up the wrong thing. Yeah. She was like, you chose it, you ate it. I remember us saying that. I can't even imagine never that, you know, it wasn't like, oh, she never finished, she's a bit. It's one thing, I picked up the wrong thing.

She was like, you chose it, you ate it. I remember us saying that. I can't even imagine being that kind of a person. No. What's she getting out of that? I know, it was like some, some kick she's on, some power trip. Like she's, I mean, maybe her home life was terrible

and that was the only place she felt she had any sort of agency, but. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, we'll absolutely make that happen for for you and she'll be eating a bowl of peas and salad cream and she can eat that the whole thing yes I see how she likes that I feel I mean maybe she you know she's having a bad day whatever but that's not with me for 40 years now I have a bad day so I don't think I've forced for the chance to do as a result we're thinking about if you have though. Yeah, but consolation for you Angela, I imagine she'll be long dead.

I probably is. Yeah, she's dead in the ground. Yeah. But you brought about a lot of it. Well, the ships are listed. Fuck you. I mean to make you back to you now, see how you feel about it. Okay.

Sparkling water. Populums are bred. Two tons. Tautans. Tautans. Tautans. Tautans. Tautans are bred.

That's a lot of bread for one lady. Tautans. Tautans are bad for coffee. Newfoundland. Newfoundland. Newfoundland. Newfoundland. Starter. I do not know. Newfoundland. Newfoundland?

Newfoundland. Starter. I do not have lost all confidence. Newfoundland. Deep find out I guess was sourced from City of Australia. Because, oh, and now I'm fucked. But then a labour. But then a labour, yeah.

And cabbage from the German Christmas market, side dish, deluxe poutine from Ziggy Peel Goods, new fun, new fun again, and we're gonna chuck in a McDonald's apple pie on the side. Drink husband's chili margarita and just a hot chocolate sponge with mint sauce. I'm so excited. Yeah, great.

How long do you think it would take February to eat that whole menu? About 30 seconds. 30 seconds. Disgusting man. A lot of good stuff on that menu. I'm very excited to try that liver one day. It's so good. I'm pretty sure someone else chose that dessert and can't remember who, but we should add them to the guest list as well when you're having a taste. No, Jade tried to choose a different one and got... Actually, maybe it was Jade mentioned them in custard. Yeah.

So maybe it was Jade and Jade got kicked out. So I think someone's tried to order that to the... Got kicked out. Oh, really? And you have finally got it into the restaurant, yeah. Jatun. Angela, thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you, Valle.

Thank you, Angela. Thank you, Valle. Thank you, Angela. Thank you, Valle. Thank you, Valle. Thank you, Valle. Thank you, Valle. Thank you very much to Angela for coming on the podcast. That was a great menu James and great chat. Great menu, great chat, some great characters. Lovely obviously. Ziggy Pilgur. Ziggy Pilgur, the slush pussy, you know, there's so many great characters there.

I prefer the slush ducky myself. That could be a great animated series. Slush pussy? No Ziggy Pilgur in the slush donkey myself. That could be a great animated series. Slush pussy? No, Ziggy Peelgood and the Slush pussy. I'm not going to argue. Yeah, it would be good. Yeah, it would be very, I mean, they sound like, you know, I could time travelling duo. Yeah. Who may be, maybe, I mean, there's got to be a food theme

because there's this where the chats have come from. So I'd imagine travelling through time to find the very best dishes. Yeah. Ziggy Peelgood, I'm imagining is sort of... It's like a musketeer in my head. He looks like David Bowie in my head. OK.

Make sure the two, you play them. And there's not a million miles apart. David Bowie musketeer and the slush pussy is half-cat, half-cup. Yeah, I imagine the slush pussy, like a cartoon cat that is made of just pure water. Pure slush. Yeah, I guess so. Or is he water and he slushes everywhere he goes? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I was a he now. You said he didn't you? I need a recording. We'll tell. Right. But we listen back to it.

The animals made of slush. I think Jen is irrelevant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And can go through things. So how it would help Ziggy Pilgur is that the slush pussy could just like move through the bars of a prison and get Ziggy Peelgood is that the slush pussy could just like move through the bars of a prison and get Ziggy Peelgood out of a jail cell that is in there. Definitely. Yeah. Could do, you know, just hop down a drain, get something, hop back out again. Ziggy Peelgood always knows that the slush pussy's got it's back. Yes, absolutely. But definitely, I think it's clear that Ziggy Peelgood is in charge. Very much so. The slush pussy is a mere sidekick. Yeah, yeah, who works that Ziggy Pilgray is in charge. Very much so.

The slush pussy is a mere sidekick. Yeah, yeah. Who works for Ziggy Pilgray then would do what they're told. Andrew, they did not say scholar pro. Andrew, they did not say scholar pro. Thank you, Anjitha, for not saying scholar pro. You know, there were some points early on, where I was like, you know, we're in territory here

that most people would say they don't like these things, you know? Yeah. She'd say how much of the much the loves awful the stuff gets thrown away Awful you know maybe I'll be gonna have a dish that is purely Scolop row but didn't even we anywhere near that I think we've talked about seafood No, very happy about that as well because Angela's great She's on tour going to see her show hot mess. Check out her website. She also has a podcast called We Are History. Yes, We Are History. So go and check that out. I mean, check out all things Angela Barnes, I guess is the message of the show. It certainly is. Thanks very much for listening. We'll see you again soon. Bye.

Goodbye. Hello, I'm Sarah Pasco and I'm Carrie Adloid. You might remember us from the peak of our careers, appearing on the excellent, off menu podcast. Is the greatest we've ever felt and we know we'll never achieve that again. But if you remember those episodes and enjoyed what we did, you might be a fan of our book choices and our new comedy podcast, Sarah and Carrierts, Weirdos Book Club. Imagine us not talking about food but talking about books. But with the comedians you know from off menu,

like Nish Kumar, John Kern, Sophie Juga and more. We're not copying them, we're doing our own thing. It's totally different. It's about books. It's about books. There's no genies involved. It's a space for the lonely outsider to feel accepted and appreciated. I'm just like James A. Kuster's bedroom.

Ew. A place for the first nude-locked-fine-a-wheel-book club but doesn't like wine or nibbles. You can read along, share your opinions, or just skull-corrown-t in your raincoat like the weirdo you are. Thank you for reading with us. We like reading with you.

The London one as well.