Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 203: Paul Foot

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

Alternative comedy hero Paul Foot discovers the Fifth Flavour in the Dream Restaurant this week. Not everyone will want to try it. Trigger warning: this episode contains chat about vomiting from eating and euthanasia. Paul Foot is on tour with his new show ‘Dissolve’ which has just announced more dates for Spring 2024. For dates and tickets go to paulfoot.tv. Follow Paul on Twitter @paulfoot and Instagram @paulfootcomedy Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's Ed and James from Off Menu here. Well, I hate to do this, but Nishkumas got a new standup special coming out, James. Yeah, listen, he's our friend. Yeah. So even if this was awful, we'd have to plug it. Yeah. Here's the problem. He sent it to me.

He asked me, can you watch it, just give me any notes on the edit. Yeah. Just, you know, that'd be really helpful. He knew it was already perfect. He sent it to me to make me feel inadequate. And it worked. Because the whole show was immaculate. I'm very annoyed that he did that to me, but I'm very excited for the public to see this special.

Well, he didn't ask me for notes, because he doesn't value my opinions. I'm happy to say it's probably quite bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you and Nish, you've known each other for longer than I've known even of you. And so he already knows that he's in your head. Also, I was there when it was recorded.

You watched it. Yeah, it is really good. So we knew that it all had got here. This is what you get if you ask us to plug your special mesh. Your power, your control is on sky comedy on demand from August 25th. Fuck you, Nish. T. T.

T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T.

T. T. T. T. T. Welcome to the off menu podcast, taking the New Yorkie of Conversation, throwing it into the boiling water of the internet and waiting for it to bubble up to the top to serve up a nice bowl of podcast, New Yorkie. That said, gamble, my name is James A. Kastor, we're in a dream restaurant. Sorry, I had to swallow there. Great. That's what's saying. Yep. I mean, every week we invited a guest. We asked for their favourite ever starter, main cost dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week, I guessed it. Paul Fertz. Paul Fertz,

a wonderful comedian. One of my favourite comedians, James. Yeah. But, you know, I think it fair to say that I entire generation of comics inspired by Paul Fett in some way to some degree. Absolutely hilarious. Totally unique. Yeah, always to the beat of his own drum. To the beat of his own drum, not just on stage, offstage as well. Yeah, it's not an act. No, it's not an act. So very excited to speak to Paul Fett because I genuinely don't know what he's going to say, but I know he likes cooking and I know he enjoys food. I do know that before I even became a stand-up comedian, I'd watch Paul's YouTube channel. Yes.

And every now and again, he would do a little cook along. Yeah. And where he would show you how to cook a fish pie and stuff like that. Oh, brilliant. I remember the fish pie, especially. This is going to be so much fun. Paul has had an amazing career as a standup comic and we've got, we've got a lot of questions for him.

Also, you can see Paul's new tour dissolve. Get tickets at pullfoot.tv and see all the different places where he's coming to a town near you. I'm sure. Also, and we hate to do this, but every single week there was a secret ingredient. The guest says it, they get kicked out on their ass because we've deemed it unacceptable. And this week, the secret ingredient is moist cake. Moist cake. Now, this refers to one of Paul's signature stand-up comedy routines. Fantastic routine about how if you get given a slice of homemade cake, you have to comment on how moist it is to the person who's made it. I won't saw him do this routine to a room full of people who were loving it really laugh and there's one guy in the front who wasn't and Paul said to him like, you're not enjoying my comedy. And the man was like, nah, it's not for me. And then Paul

offered him a slice of an invisible moist cake and said, we should come on, just bite this and join us all. And the man was like, no, and he was like, just have a bite of the moist cake. And it was a standoff for about five minutes. And eventually the man went, I mamed, he ate in the moist cake and everyone cheered and went crazy for it. Fantastic. That's what, that's the sort of thing you get at a poor foot show. He ordered a lot of mimes for a while. He invented a new form of mind where he spoke during it, which I have very, very fun memories of. Was that what he was being petty? No, that I think that was post penny.

Yeah. The other routine of Paul's to look up is weirdly, he did that show last comic standing in the US and did very well on it. Yeah. And he did Moist K on that, I think, and Shirehors is the other big routine that you definitely need to look up. Yeah. But anyway, you can tell we're absolutely giddy fans.

So let's get Paul onto the podcast now. This is the off menu menu of Paul Fert. Paul Fert. Welcome, Paul, to the Dream Restaurant. Oh, thanks, Ed. Psh, welcome, Paul Fert, to the Dream Restaurant. But I'm expecting you for some time. Oh, hi, James. That's funny. You were appearing there like that. Oh thanks Ed. Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss door. It's been hiding behind a door. Yes. It was a bit weird when you appeared, a bit frightening in a horrible way, in a horrible sort of stalkery way. In a creepy way, in a creepy

way. Yeah. It's when you appeared James, it was more magical. It was, it was magical. You just appeared out of nowhere. It was magical and lovely. And I'm sorry for what you had to endure with Ed beforehand. Yes, well, it wasn't just that appearing, you know, it was a lot of things happening in the weeks and months preceding it. You could different appearance. Ed has been making various appearances in my life. Yeah.

Different places, sometimes just appearing in old phone boxes. Yeah. I think I walked past a phone box. I think I'm, I didn't, I had phone boxes anymore, what are they using for? Are they for the internet? What do they have them for? I see, there's Ed Campbell's in there. It's the local phone box near my house.

There's no reason. But when he uses them anymore, and why is he there? Yeah, what was he doing in the phone box? Nothing. Just that's what was so weird about you know if it'd been something like I don't know even if it had binoculars or something like it like a proper sort of stalkery pervert I could grow like a grubby one at least that would have given a context

Even you know even something sexual I'd have welcomed because I didn't know what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm up to you. You know what it is. You call the police. They know how to deal with it. It is a bonafide offense. Yeah. But you can't just call the police and so I think I've seen Ed Gambling and all the phone boys. No, not doing anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just in the phone box. Are you worried that when you hit the road and you go on tour doing your show, the result around the UK, the Ed is going to follow you around the UK and pop up at various places? Absolutely. If what I tend

to do and I get in my car is always check the back seat in cases that one of those things seems to me film. Yeah. And suddenly Ed Campbell comes from behind and just said, I was here all the time. I want to speak to you and I say, I can't speak to you Ed, that there are a number of restraining orders in the county courts as well as in the jurisdiction of California in various countries. There are restrictions. I can't speak to you. You know what happens. I call the police and it's the police. I don't even have to say anything to the police.

I've got a code number. I just say it to them code 4739. Yeah, well I know. I know the code now. Thanks for letting me know the code, Paul. No, no, no, no. The code. And all of your tour dates listed here.

So I know exactly where you're going to be and when. Oh, no. That's concerned, isn't it? That is a worry. All I'm saying is played into his hands this episode. Yeah, it's going to be beginning of October is going to be great. Aberdeen, Edinburgh Glasgow, Sheffield, Birmingham, Stafford. Oh, it's got you. It's a good job that I went to the trouble of learning a false code number for police, as well as going to the extravagant expense

of making a false website that looks like my own website. But there's different dates. Always, one date, day behind. So you will always appear at the theatre one day after I was there, where the police are waiting. Do you worry that's going to damage your sales? Well, it will reduce them by one because then you'll be at a, yeah, you know, there'll be one less ticket. Still with the ticket will be stolen.

There'll be one there'll be one empty seat in every show. You'll always be there. The Ed Gamble seat, but seat four E, four four rows back and five in. So one way. That's your seat. Let's just see which you've booked for everything we show, but that will always be empty. Yes. But that's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. You look at that seat and feel comforted, I guess. Yeah. I know that that is the difference between me and death. Yeah. You know, oh, that's becoming very apparent that these are the difference between me and death. Yeah. You know. Oh, that's becoming very apparent that these are the stakes here. Yes. I've known it for some time, but Ed, and by the way, I think he's best in this podcast,

Ed is referred to in the third person. Yeah. An all-timey, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I know that he has been plotting against me. Do I need to refer to myself in the third person as well? That makes you feel safer. Yeah, I think that's better. It's like an entity.

Yes. And then, yeah, I'm just an aura, really. Oh, is there an edged, just an aura? Yeah, an edgamble. Yeah, an edgamble. Yes. Spirit of edgamble. Which is not a good spirit.

Not like yours, that genius, that lovely, wonderful genie coming up all like a, like a, like a flutrid little genie rising. If I may say with a dash of camp, thank you, you know, lovely, you know, I don't think there's any non camp genies though to be fair. I think it comes with the territory. Well, that's very special. Who thinks it? Who thinks it, who thinks it comes with the territory? Oh, I'd gamble things it comes with the territory? Oh, I'd gamble thinks it comes with the territory. Yeah, I mean, if you look at Genie's, particularly in Panto, always camp on there.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, there was one with Christopher Biggins, when months of work they did trying to get the campness out of him so he could play the most sort of straight sort of macho genie ever. And it was just wasted money. Yeah. Money down the drain. Ultimately, ultimately meant that they didn't make a profit. But they're solid profits to be made on Panto, because they're big sellers, but instead losses were made and the theatre had to close.

Do you know, I mean, I don't expect you will know, but do you happen to know some of the methods they use to try and decamp big ins? Well, yes. Well, some of the methods, yeah. Speaking deep, speaking deep, speaking deep, big ins deep, deep big ins. Yeah. And then they'd get them to say things like, uh, things like that. And, uh, yeah. I mean, some of the things I can't really say, but the sort of things you'd say in the 70s, not, right? Nice, rock and you love. So they'd find things, and we ought to put a sort of a warning, a warning, a trigger warning

that some 1970s phrases are going to be used in this podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's things like that. So 1970s phrases you'd have to say, stop right. Right, darling? Want to meet up after the, want to meet up after work? Yeah, you've got a boyfriend. Doesn't stop us, does it?

Things like that. That's just sort of stuff. That's sort of stuff that big. It's just that. I can't say that. To do a cup of the genie character. And it didn't really make much difference. Didn't work to it. As soon as you got on stage. It's as soon as you got on stage, you're like, oh, there's some Christopher Biggins here. Here for, you know, you all know what you've come for. And I know what I've come for as well. All of that, all of that sort of stuff, all the innuendo, all

the innuendo, the campness. And it was supposed to be the like the most masculine panter ever. That's what they're aiming for. Yeah, very sad. Very sad what happened. And they wanted no innuendo in that panter. Yeah. Again, you know, big dig, big dig, big dig. Should have had big ins. But then he put the bombs on the seats. But then, you know, also another thing that puts bombs on seats is a combination of an actor who used to be an Emma Dale 10 years ago, as well as other well-known actors like Wendy Craig.

Yeah. You know, it all adds up. Yeah. Would you do pantopool? Well, in what, being serious, I've been serious, we joking. Oh, it's up to you. Well, I mean, I, well, it's not, it's not it's not a dream, it's not the dream. No, it's not the dream, but would you enjoy it, do you think? Yeah, I mean, I would enjoy it because because any you can enjoy anything, can't you?

I mean, you know, if I had to do 15 years hard labor in Siberia, I'd enjoy that. I'd enjoy it. You get into it. Just get into the mode, wouldn't you? I think, well, I have to accept my life is different now. I'm no longer a stand-up comedian. I'm in Siberia having gone to Russia and said something to whatever I did.

Yeah, you did something. I said an innuendo to Vladimir Putin in the style of Christopher Biggins. You do your pants on Russia? I was doing pants on Russia. Yeah, I was doing pants on Lenin grad. And it's not called Lenin grad anymore, is it? I don't know. Why does that pop out of my mouth? I think I was going back

to the 70s. Yeah, 18, 17, 17, yeah. So that was a mistake. But anyway, the point is, the point is, yeah, get into it. Yeah. So if you have to toil at the cold face of panter, yeah, you must have, you've got to enjoy it, haven't you? You've got to enjoy it. So yeah, you'd have a good time. You'd have a step too long. You'd accept that that's your life now. Yeah, I'd accept that it's my life, but I'd accept that there's more likely of a way back from a life sentence in a Russian kangaroo court sentencing me to life of hard labor in Siberia. There's more likelihood of getting back into my career from that than there is from appearing in Pantheon.

Let's face it, right up there with being on a cruise ship with, you know, the death knell being sounded for once career. Yeah, yeah, that's fair enough. We're going to talk a lot about food today. We already know that you are a foodie. You appreciate the fine foods when I first met you over 15 years ago. You were definitely in a phase at that point. And maybe it's not stopped. Maybe you still don't wear you said to me, I only ever eat a Michelin star restaurant now.

It was sort of, I don't know whether you've missed it. Remember slightly, but that's what you said. I'm perhaps I was trying to impress you. I think, well, there's a truth to that, in that you get the good value. The best value I think in restaurants is at the top end and at the bottom end, you can get some really cheap thing

for £1.70, good value, and you can pay £200, really good minutes, really good. Where you lose out, it's on the sort of mid-range, where it's just not particularly like the sort of beller-italias and the place is a bit better than the beller-italias. It's nothing, you could cook it yourself, it's not that good and it's money down the drain. So, yes, therefore, it is one should eat in the Michelin star restaurants when one can. I would like to see you host a consumer affairs show where you judge whether the things are money down the drain or not, because that is a catchphrase. It's money down the drain.

Yeah, money down the drain. The name of my show, money down the drain. And I would look at things that are down the drain money-wise. And would it be like Antique's Roadshow where members of the public bring stuff to you and you decide if it's money down the drain or not? Or are you going to establishments and decide if what they're selling is money down the drain?

Yeah, I'd get to establishments and there's obvious things. But I find it hilarious that people are caught out by things like this. Like, I bought a fridge a few years ago, a fridge and it cost about 200 pounds, which is what you have to pay for a really quite good fridge. Yeah. I mean, you can't really pay a lot of money for a really expensive fridge. You want a big American one, so if you want to do that, yeah. But it doesn't really make much difference.

Yeah. It's a fridge. So £200 for a fridge, there's not much that could go wrong in a fridge and it's under warranty for the first two years anyway. And then they try and sell you a thing. Would you like a piece of mind? It's only £28.99 per year. And if anything happens to your fridge, it'll be replaced. Like does anyone actually just look at that and think, what are the chances of the fridge breaking down? Low. What are the chances that I make going to end up paying a lot more? Like, it's ridiculous. Why do people do it? Magnus. This is the sort of thing I'd say in my podcast.

What? No, it's not a podcast. It's a TV show. TV show. I got confused. This is a podcast. This is really happening. I forgot that. This is real. This is real. TV show imaginary. Yes. Yes. And if someone did pay 28 pounds a year, just in case something happens with their Virgin goes on with it, what would that be? Well, in it, in the show, they've signed a thing that if they've been found to be putting money down the drain, then I'll save some of that money. So I'll save 50% of the money that they're putting down the drain will be saved. And the other 50% goes to me. So I will be siphoning from people's bank accounts money. Yeah. People who have made stupid decisions in the past, any bad decision, I get half the money.

So in a way going on the show is also money down the drain. Yeah, it is. It's a massive, you know, I might say to you, you've got an investment and you can say it's quite a good investment. I'm getting a 7% interest. And if I found one with a higher interest, I'd say you should have thought about that higher interest. And if I found one with a higher interest, I'd say, you should have thought about that higher interest. So you then get a higher interest, but you pay half the difference to me, you see, for life. When you get them money down the drain, when that gets siphoned to you, do you have to pay tax on that? With that tax free?

Tax free. Yeah, because, well, it is, isn't it? Yeah. Because it's not earnings, is it? It's just money I'm cycling off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. My account and I said, you know, how does it work with the tax situation of certain things? Yeah. We are earning, and tax this rate, and we're earning some dividends tax this rate, siphoning.

Does anyone ever pay tax on siphoning? No, no, never. Like another thing you can do with siphoning is you can siphon money out. You might have too much money, and it's a bit of a problem about too much money here. It's causing a problem because the capital gains tax situation, big worry, siphon it out into the Cayman Islands. Yeah, yeah. It was siphoned off.

That siphoned off. It siphoned off. It siphoned off. It siphoned out. Yeah, siphoned out is when it comes out of their bank account into me. Sure. And then that was then ironically siphoned off into other accounts around the world. And then that gets siphoned up.

Yeah, that gets siphoned up into property portfolio. Right. Yes. Because I would like to be wealthy enough that I don't have a house or even second home or even three homes, a portfolio. That's what I want to have, a portfolio. So you don't even really know what's in it. Yeah. Got a portfolio. Oh, I'm going to Hong Kong next week. Oh, Shlosten Hotel. I think I might have somewhere in Hong Kong. Let me check my portfolio. Yes, I've got somewhere in Hong Kong.

Can stay there. Although the portfolio says someone's in there at the moment, could be a real ask down a hotel, never mind. You know. So you always end up in a hotel anyway. You always end up in a hotel. But then you're fat to see.

Getting the fat to see. But then I might think, oh well, I need to expand the portfolio in certain areas, certain markets. Would you ever like your property portfolio to include hotels? Because then you've got yourself covered there if you buy hotel in your own hotels. Yeah, I'd like to own a hotel. And then you got a ring whenever you want.

And you got a ring. I mean, I stayed in a hotel in Melbourne earlier in the year. It wasn't my hotel. No. I said, I want to point out before I start the story. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't mine, but I knew someone who knew the owner of the hotel, best room in the hotel, wasn't it? All people at reception saying, there's anything you want, anything at all, just let us know. I mean, that's just, imagine if that was my hotel. Yeah.

I think they do say that to everyone, no one hotels, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I've never stayed in hotels. I don't know. I don't know how hotels often,

because I normally just in my, one of my portfolios. Yeah. I don't know what familiar with it. I didn't know that. I thought it was some special treatment I was getting. That's disappointing. I didn't know they sent that to everyone.

Yeah, they offered a help, Eddie, what up? But was it the Adina in Melbourne? It was not the Adina. It was the, um, I forgot when it was that. The mantra. The mantra. The mantra. I was there too.

The mantra on Russell. Yeah, I was there. They offered a help. They mantra on Russell. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was looking. Did they offer to help you? Did they just tell you I fucked yourself? Yeah. They said, sorry. Are you Paul Fert? I said, no. They said, no, I can't get you anything. I mean, I'm surprised that you're able to stay in the same hotel as Paul since you, your history with him. What do you mean? Stalking him all the time before he went out the country and phone boxes. He didn't know it was there. And you followed him to Melbourne now. The same hotel. It was the same hotel. You made a big mistake. You wasted your money.

It was in Epping. Yeah, a different one. Yeah, different one near the airport. Yeah, I wonder why I couldn't see you. That's the greatest trick ever. Yeah. We always start with still a spark than water pool. Oh, yes.

Well, I think still water, and there's a reason for that, which is sound ridiculous. Mm-hmm. But I, I mean, water, and there's a reason for that, which is sounds ridiculous. But I, I mean, good health. Congratulations. But I have one weird thing about me, which is not really a health thing. And I only really realized eight months ago,

but I used to, if I had like sparkling water, anything sparkling, like sparkling cherry cola and things like that, then I would go all bloated inside. And then if I had like all rich food, I would have to go to the like the Lou, and it would have to release it in a really violent way that sound like I was being sick. One time I was at the Dorchester Hotel

every one of these mixed and star meals we talked about. And then I said, oh, show me where the Lou is, please. It's all very polite. Who's this way, please? Thank you so much, sir, and all that stuff. Then I went in and there was like some really rich people

in the Louis, it's the daughter's store and I just went, whoa! Or vomiting, but it's like a vomit sound. But it isn't. But it's like all the gas coming out all violently. Anyway, and I couldn't work out what it was and I thought it was because I'm swallowing air as I'm eating eating too quickly and kind of air is going in. But anyway, then suddenly I was having a conversation with a friend a few months ago and he said something about him, or just did a little burp there.

And then I said, what is burp? What? I just said, I said, what is burp? I didn't really know what burp was. I didn't know. I'd heard the word. I didn't know what burp was, you see. And then I discovered that you can burp either loudly, like it all burped, or silently. But the point is, I realised that never in my whole life,

have I ever burped, ever. I've never burped. I didn't know what it was. So, I've been training myself in burping because I looked it up online and it's quite rare what I've got. It's quite rare, but you can have it done by, under General Uninsteadet, you have to have Botox injected into your, sort of, like, down in the mouth, down in the throat. Yeah, to help you burp. To help you because it opens it up and then you can burp after that. But I was trying to do training because I saw an internet video of a man trying to do a burp.

And one time after brushing my teeth, I managed to get my mouth all full of that or toothpaste and I managed to do a belch. And I have been able to more recently do like release all the gas in like a vomity way but less loudly than before like I'd be on it aeroplanes and like the cabin crew would say, are you alright? What's going on? Yes, but anyway, so the problem is that you're getting all that gas in there but you'd have no way of releasing other than this weird vomit sound. I can way of releasing other than this weird vomit sound. I can't release it other than the weird vomit sound. But then, strangely enough, two weeks ago, and I hadn't even eaten or anything, I've been doing all this training, you see.

And then I was just changing a record and my record player. And suddenly, I did a burp. And that's the first one in my whole life. But I haven't done one since. That was about three weeks ago. Right. And maybe a hope. Yeah.

Yeah. And the next step would be another burp. And the next hill of that would be a silent burp, which is like, that's like a real pipe dream to me at the moment. Not. I'm all likely to be in Panto with Christopher Beginsson. Sure. Not that I want to.

No, you don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. So likely, but it's still. So anyway, so that's why for that reason, I'm not going to be a part of them. Not that I want to. No, you don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. That's unlikely, but it's still so anyway. So that's why for that reason, I'd have this still water. So the last thing I need is more bubbles inside me because of that thing. It's got a fancy name for it. Really? Not being able to burp. Yes, and you can have it done, but you have to have it done privately. And it costs about £4,000 or something. But what concerns me is that you've got to have it done privately. And it costs about £4,000 or something. But it's, what concerns me is that, you know, you've got to find, it's privately and you've got

to find someone who knows what they're doing. It's not like the NHS. When, with the NHS, you can have something done on the NHS for free. And if it goes wrong, you can then just live with it for the rest of your life. But everyone and just say, you know, the NHS, they let me down. It's been so many cuts, so many cuts in the NHS. This is the disgrace that's been running to the ground. I went through a routine operation on my hip. I've been in the acne ever since. I had a routine operation to check something to do with my gold bladder. I've been, I've been in continent ever since and I can't have sex anymore. It's a disgrace. That's what's happening in NHS and after it they paid me just £15,000 compensation. It's not much, is it?

Considering I've lost my sex driver, I've lost my ability to, you know, all that stuff. I've lost my ability to, you know, all that stuff. Yeah. So, you know, if it's private, you know, you can't do that. No, no. So he's best of make sure they know what they're doing. Yeah, yeah. So that's why I thought, why not just train myself to do it? It must be possible.

I mean, if you've done it when you were changing the record or you were a player, that's a good start. Yeah. Maybe you remember what the album was you were listening to the music. Maybe that helps. Maybe it relaxed you. The valedie was it certainly not No, it was J. S. Bar I wouldn't have been listening to the valedie talk about second rate

That that's not the most insulting thing you can say the idea was to do Vivaldi in my own home to Vivaldi in my own home, my private sanctuary. When I finally got into my own home, done a complete sweep of the whole house, check the Ed Gamble, isn't there? In anywhere in the home, and I can just relax. The idea I'm going to put Vivaldi on, and then burp, well, it's insulting. I apologize. I apologize. I apologize. That's all right, James. I thought it would be a problem. No, it didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.

Deep down, I like you. Yeah. Pop-a-dum-so-op-red. Pop-a-dum-so-op-red, pul-fer. Pop-a-dum-so-op-red. Oh, pop-a-dum-so-op-red. Pop-a-dums. Oh, lovely.

Yeah, the nice, aren't they? Yeah, nice. They're very nice. I mean, it doesn't, it's not going to fit in with my meal, I don't think, because it's not, I don't know, I'm going to have an Indian meal particularly, but it's nice, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

It's nice, isn't it, pop of doms. Yeah. Yeah, with all the little, little pickles. Yeah. With the little pickles. And there's always one that no one likes. The onion. Yeah, people often disregard the onion.

The chopped onion bit. I like the chopped onion one. Well, that's because you can't burp, so you never have to experience the onion burp. I've never had that. They don't repeat onion. I do, though. I didn't know. Yeah, you see, I have to taste it again as it belches onion.

Because when you burp, which is what you're training yourself to do, if you've had onion, you then get the taste of onion in the burp. Oh, but when I do the little Vommy thing, you definitely have to taste it. It's real bad. I mean, that's not, that's like concentrated onion. Yeah, it's like, it's like a thousand French onion soups. So forget about your little

onion burp thing. This is like concentrated onion trauma. This is like 25 years in Siberia, hard onion, you know, it's just cutting onions to 25 years. Yeah. And then you have it all with that belch. You know how you say you can enjoy anything? Does that go for the weird vomit sound? Yeah, one has to enjoy every part of one's life, doesn't one? Yeah.

One can, you know, it's all part of life. Yeah, it's all part of life. It's all part, yeah, so I make the best of it. Yeah. It's one of the bit things is going to happen in my life. Yeah. So yeah, if you think about it, I may be on the way to being cured, but even if there's say another 50 vomits in my life before the curing and I've learnt how to do the burping, that's still 50, I mean,

that's about as long as it's podcast. So, you know, I might as well enjoy it, because that's the whole length of this podcast is just vomiting. In many ways, you know, he's probably the reaction of some guests, I suppose, I've just been told before. It's sort of doubled up, but sort of thinking, what did I do that podcast for?

But then vomiting repeatedly thinking about the podcast, but also checking the time to make sure that the vomiting in some way, I don't know why it makes a difference, but that it outlasts the length of the podcast. Yeah, yeah. If the vomiting is longer than the podcast, then you think, yeah, okay, that's gone now. In some sort of spiritual way, it's just exercise. Yeah, that's what it out. Yeah. So do you want all the dips of your pop it up? Oh, yes, please.

You want all of them? Yeah, that one, the mangoy one, I like sweet one. Yeah, and the one that's sort of the very hot one. Yeah, yeah, I want that one. The line pickle. The line picker. And there's a fourth one that I can't remember what it is now. It's like the writer, the yoghurt.

Oh, the yoghurt is the one, yeah, bit of the yoghurt is the one. Do you want to invent a dip as well? Invent your own pop it on dip and a brand new one, a pull for the special? Yeah. Yeah. I really like cherry cola. Yeah. Not, I mean, I'd say that, I don't know why I'd say that,

because I only probably have it maybe every four years. But like every four years, I have like a craving, it's overwhelming. It can come on quite quickly. Yeah. It can come on within 15 minutes and I've gone from just normal life to just massive craving for cherry cola. Yeah. It happens about every four years to the extent that I'll go into shops and just like I've got cherry cola, you know, yeah. And then I have a bit of cherry cola and I just you've got cherry cola, you know? And then I have a bit of cherry cola and I just, and the craving's gone for four years. So yeah, I'd have that flavour, dip the cherry cola dip. It a cherry cola on my popodons. So do you want actual just like a little source of cherry cola or do you want a source like a, that has the consistency of like mayonnaise,

but that is cherry cola flavour? Yeah, I think I want to do something a bit more hastened, blue menta, not want to, something that tastes of cherry cola, but looks quite different. Yeah. I would like the sauce to look like crushed up bits of old popodon. Right. It looks like bits of old popodon, but it's actually much softer. It looks hard, but it isn't soft. And it's got a cherry color flavor. That's going to blow people's minds. Yeah, that will actually.

And it's got vitamins in as well. So you don't have to bother eating the rest of the day, because it's got all the vitamins that you'd need for a day. Yeah, yeah, the whole day's vitamins. That's good. All of that. And it's got protein and everything that you need. It's a complete meal, really. Do you know, I only discovered it recently. That's another, you know, I don't know where you've had the same thing either of you, but when there's things that you just,

you get to quite an age, like I'm nearly 50, and then there's things you just didn't know. Like I didn't know what was burp, for example. And then there's other things, like it was only when I was about 48 that I found out what a about 48 that I'd found out what a canyon was I didn't know what a canyon was, but no idea and then people said I've gone to the Grand Canyon and I didn't really I just sort of just sort of say all that's nice, especially lovely to see it and then change the subject because I didn't know what a canyon was, I didn't know what that word was. You didn't know what the Grand Canyon was to your whole until you were 48.

No, I heard of it. I knew it was near Las Vegas. I know. But I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what a canyon was. You'd never see the photo of it. No. I didn't know what the word meant. And I'd never looked it up. I don't know why. I just never looked it up. I always thought I must look it up. Like someone would say something about a canyon. I just must look that up. So I don't appear foolish next time. But then I would just forget about it. And then I suddenly, be like a nightmare into a conversation with someone,

we've just got a baby from a family holiday. We went to the helicopter, flew over the Grand Canyon, I think, oh no, it's happening again. And I think, I'm 47 years old. I can't tell them, I don't know what a canyon is. Yeah. I guess canyons aren't coming up that often though, right?

So you think, I should look that up. And then it's so long until someone brings up canyons again. There was no point. Yeah, it's about every four or five months on average. Yeah. But the average that you meet someone who's even going to or going back on the grand canyon, or just brings it up. Yeah.

An average healthy, sexually active adult, the sexually active wasn't really relevant there. But every four or five months, you'll hear the word canyon. It'll be, and probably less often, that maybe once or ten months, being involved in a conversation about a canyon, where you really have to then sort of add something to the conversation. So yeah, I really know what you mean there. Yeah, that, yeah, Grand Canyon, get your meaning there and I know what I'm saying about that. Yeah, yeah. Actually, this is what I'm doing now. That's actually some of the training that Christopher Biggins had to do. I know about canyon. So that was something that was training. You used to do that. Yeah, no, but canyons. Yeah, it told me about it. Yeah, I think cool. If I didn't know about

something and someone brought it up and I wanted to disguise the fact I didn't know about it, I wouldn't use the phrase of, I get your meaning there because that is opening up a whole world of issues. Someone said to me, yeah, yeah, canyons, I know all about that. That's what I'd be suspicious. Yeah, you would be. Yeah. You still be, that's what I'd be suspicious. Yeah, you would be. Yeah. You still haven't told us what a canyon is though. Do you have it all of this? You're saying that you know what it is now? I think I know what it is.

It's like a big kind of valley. Yeah. Yeah, but I didn't know that. No. I've no idea what it was. I had no, I did not know that the Grand Canyon went down into the ground. I didn't know what it was. When did you imagine when people did say it? Was it just a blank slate in your mind? It's just a, you imagine something. that the Grand Canyon went down into the ground. I didn't know what it was.

What did you imagine when people did say, was it just a blank slate in your mind? Which is to imagine something? I thought maybe it's some sort of mountain, but then that didn't seem to make sense because people say we flew over it and you thought, well, why would you fly up over a mountain? Yeah.

So then I thought maybe it's just some sort of thing with like a big lake and there's like trees around it or something, it's kind of pretty. Maybe it kind of reflects the sunlight in a particular way. And people say, well, what a canyon. The light, the way it's reflecting off that lake. Yeah. Well, it's a particular type of lake

that reflects the light in a particular soil way. It's called a canyon. It's kind of what I thought it was. A lake that reflects light in a certain type of work. Yeah, I felt some sort of docking site. I didn't know, something like that. I didn't really know, you know, it was guessing. Is there anything nowadays that you're pretending to know about, that you don't know about, that you want to share on the podcast? We can, yeah, we can talk about it now.

Yeah, I think there was. I think I brought this up because I was going to say something that I didn't know with reference to what we were talking about on the podcast. I've completely lost my thread now. What it was we were saying. We've got a pop-up of the source that you've got. Yeah. And you were saying something about, did I want the cherry cola? I can't know what it was.

Did you want it in a dish or did you want the source to just taste of cherry cola to be like mayonnaise that was, did you not know it? Yeah, mayonnaise is. Is that what this is? Yeah, I knew what mayonnaise was. There was something else I didn't know, something obvious. Oh, I tell you what it was. It was, I said about vitamins and you said about protein.

I think you said protein. Oh, I said protein. But that was something I ended up discovered like a year ago. I didn't know that protein is like food. Like you can need, like I thought, I thought that food was only carbohydrates. Carbohydrates is what gives you energy. You need carbohydrates like potatoes and things that gives you energy.

And I thought protein like eggs or what else is milk and things like that. I thought chicken, it doesn't give you energy. It's just I thought if you eat chicken or eggs or stuff, you'll have no energy, because you can't get energy out of it. It's just like helps your bones. You need it for your bones because otherwise your bones will just break. But I didn't know that it's energy. I had no idea that you could eat protein and

it gives that is food that gives you energy. Yeah, you know, but one is more because you're getting into the weed sort of scientifically there. I think that's more understandable and acceptable than not knowing what a canyon is until you're 48. You think that's what I think the protein thing is fine. I think that's all right. Well, that's why I said the canyoning first to sort of soften. Yeah, it's works. So that when I said it, you weren't so shocked about the fact I knew that if I'd gone straight in with protein, you'd have been all over that head gang on a bus. I know what you're like when you're getting your high horse. And you'd have been going, how could you not know? Yeah. It's one of the foods, you know, the food. I would have been. Yeah. Yeah. But by sort of

tricking you with a canyon thing, which kind of wrong footage you. Yeah. And then pretending that I'd forgotten what I was saying earlier, I tricked you. I tricked you. You tricked a gamble. I tricked a gamble. Not for the first time. Always having to be on the move. Always making phone calls to hotels, but actually it's another hotel. You think you know which hotel I'm going to, but it isn't that one. Yeah. Fake property portfolio is left around on the desk. You look in there, think, oh, I go there, one of his portfolio. It's not. It's a fake, it's fake information. Your dream starter, Paul Futt. Yes. Yes. The dream starter, I thought soup, because I just think soup is so nice, isn't it? Because you get the flavour of what the soup is, but without having to actually eat whatever the thing is.

Just get the flavor. And it's so easy, just spoon it in, snow eating involved, there's no chewing flavor. In it goes, flavor, flavor, flavor. Do you not like chewing? Well, I mean, I don't mind it. No, it's all right. But it's just, if I'm gonna have this dream meal,

why not make parts of it easier for me? Yeah, absolutely. Just shove it in. Yeah, make sense. So I want soup. What flavor soup? Well, again, I thought of mushrooms, because I love mushrooms, so it's my favourite, but then, or pea, love a bit of pea, but then I thought, what about quail?

Yeah. Because I like quail, but it's a bit fiddly to eat, isn't it? It's quite a lot of flavor of quail, which fiddling, fiddling around with that quail, because I like quail, but it's a bit fiddly to eat, isn't it? There's quite a lot of flavor of quail, which fiddles, fiddles, fiddling around with that quail, you know? And then I thought, what about quail and champagne? Because then I wouldn't even have to, I could have champagne with it, but wouldn't have to even bother with having a glass of champagne. It would all be there in the soup. So you want quail and champagne soup? Yes. it would all be there. It would all be in the soup.

In the soup. So you weren't quail and champagne soup? Yes. Lovely. Because I also think, like, you know when you're having one of me, and then they say, well, this wine goes to the food. I never quite know when, like, they say you should take a mouthful of the food and then have a bit of the wine, you know, so it goes with it.

But do you have to, like, if you get some of the food in your mouth, do you have to then get the wine as well all together and then sort of chew it to get all the flavours together? Or can you have the food and swallow it up and then get the wine in? Yeah. It has to be quite really fresh in. You still got the flavour, you've got a bit of the flavour of the chicken and the pesto sauce. I get the wine in, get the wine in because it pairs well. And this particular wine, so it goes very well with the pasta. Now you notice some great food, really complement the pesto. So you still have the pesto flavour, get the wine in. Yeah. Or what? You know, are you allowed to just sometimes have a mouthful of food and not

have the wine? Yeah. Are you allowed to just have a mouthful of the wine? It's still up to no. Yeah. And I just think, wouldn't it be easier if they just get the food and the wine and just blend it together? Yeah. Because they go together and that's where I had the idea to shove it all together in a soup. Yeah. Well, champagne soup.

Is the champagne still fizzy when it's in the soup? Well, I hope so. Yeah. Yeah, I'd like it to be. To retain the fizz. Yeah, it's in fact, why not make it into an aspect, make it into a jelly, a jelly suit, and then you could have the bubbles in, couldn't you? Aren't you rolling the dice a little bit if you have anything fissi that's got bubbles

in it? Oh yes, you're right, yes. Because then you might have to do the weather. Yeah, no, I don't, yes. Until I've done the training, you're right. So in that case, I will have the champagne flattened prior to, I want the flavor of quail and flat champagne. Yeah, quail and flat shale. In an aspect still.

In an aspect. Is it all jelly all the way through? Jelly, yeah. It's a jelly soup. So it's a jelly. It's a soup that's been jelly. Yeah, it's jelly. Jelly, yeah, jelly.

Yeah, yeah. It's a savory jelly. Yeah. I was going to slurp that and not chew it because you don't want to chew it. So like, you don't have to chew jelly. No, you can swallow jelly whole, but it doesn't matter because it just dissolves inside and tummy, doesn't it? Yes.

So the only thing you can, apart from mashed potato, you can have mashed potato just swallow it down. Yeah. I can't think of anything else you can just swallow down without chewing it. Let's solid. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good question. I guess many pure like pure

rays, any pure any pure ray or any jelly. Yeah. Yeah. Or aspic. Yeah. Or aspic. I like the way I take it. Yeah. It's not sophisticated, doesn't it? Yeah. That's like cleaning products. Uh, you're thinking of asbestos and harpic. Yeah. And harick. Yeah. But it's together making awesome combination. Little bit of asbestos from a condemned building, the bit of Harpick, put it around your loo and you're not going to be worrying about toilet stains in the toilet bowl for long, because you'll be dead from asbestos, that thing you get from asbestos will be dead quite soon. That's literally money down the drain, isn't it? If you do that to yourself, well, it depends how much it costs. Yeah.

You say literally money down the drain, but how much does it cost to get as best us? You can get it for people will pay you to take it away. Yeah. So it's actually the opposite of money down the drain. Yeah, your best. A good investment. It's actually your life down the drain. And money for your children or other beneficiaries

to your will, make sure you make a will before doing that cleaning. Yes. Because you will be dead shortly. You'll be dead. Yeah, we'll be dead. You'll be dead. Yeah.

What's that set us up for? What's your dream bank course? I thought fillet steak. I love fillet steak and I don't like the other steaks. You know when people say, oh, I prefer, I prefer a sirloin, a little bit of the fat in it gives it the flavour. Have you tried remember? I know you saw you don't like tea-bone, but try this, it's exceptional. It's not exceptional. They're just awful. It's all grist, a lot, they. You can't, it's all grist. All those other ones, rump and all those ones terrible. I disagree with you, Paul, but that little character you did there was like an impression

of me. It was, yeah. That's what you like, you like the, oh, it's going smart, I like it. I got the marbling, it keeps it smartly. I like the mumbling. And you've got the mumbling. You can't sit there flying there. And it holds his arms away when you can't get it. It doesn't dissolve away when you, but it's all chewy. Like when I was a child, I used to hate meat. Yeah. Because it was always, I sit there at the table and it was all going round around my mouth

and it was all chewy and I couldn't get rid of it. Then I'd have to go to the toilet and like flush it down when no one was looking Yeah, it was just awful Where would you keep it in between? We have it in your mouth when you went to the toilet and then spit it out. Yeah, I had it in my mouth And I have to sort of make it excuse me. Oh, just point you know, but they knew It was all in my cheek so like gristle gristle Yeah, and also you know when I say gristle. Yeah. And also, you know, when I say gristle, I do mean fat.

I do always just call anything that isn't purely in meat, gristle. Yeah. I've always done that. Yeah. Well, I don't know just because it's just awful, isn't it? You know, like when I get to my local butcher, sometimes I get like a chicken breast and then I say, there's gristle, there's not really gristle, just a bit of fat on it. And then sometimes like one other but another butcher has to come over

because they say it's all right, we know what to do with Paul. Like they know I have to get rid of every single time in a bit of fat off it. It's just awful. You hate it. Hate it. The only time I don't hate it is like any other day I hadn't tried it before but had to wag you beef. And I don't think that was fillet,

but it was quite fatty. There's a lot of marbling in that. A lot of marbling, but it was like proper marbling, not like from your cheap old Aldi, sirloin steak thing that you eat and pretend that you're satisfied with. This was like proper Wagyu. It's all like being massaged.

They've massaged and me little cow and everything. And it's just, it was like chopping into a beef burger, it was so soft. And it was just pure meat with the fat or marbled through it. That was nice. But even better, wagyu fillet steak and then not only do you have the tenderness of the wagyu, no, gristle at all. So you would like a wagyu fillet steak? Yeah, wagyu fillet steak. That'd be your dream. Yeah. You might be the first person

if we had wagyu before? Maybe. We've we've chatted about it before. We've chatted about it. I don't know if anyone's been with us specifically. How do you like that cook's pool to what temperature? Quite rare. Yes. Yes. What do you think of people who have like well done? It's a polling isn't it? I mean, obviously, I don't want to sit here and tell people how to live their lives, but what sort of person would I like it? Well done. It's pathetic, isn't it?

Can I have it medium, well done? I like, well, they're the even worse people. Medium too well done. I mean, just to meet what you want, you want it well done. Just say that don't try and Sound sophisticated by saying medium well done. Just say Just say I don't appreciate the meat I want it cooked to a syndra to a syndra to it's all gone all dry because I'm British And it's the only way I've ever had it. I can't possibly like the idea of any blood coming out and just say, well done, have it

like that? Yeah, well said. Yeah. I like to go to, because if you go to a restaurant, especially British ones, they always cook it a bit more. Like if you say medium rare, they'll always do it medium and so on, because they're just too sort of scared to serve anything with any blood. So I like to say, could I have it really,

really well done until it's actually dried out and ruined? Because that's how you're going to do it anyway, wasn't it? That's what I like to say. I just show you, I imagine the answers know to this, but do you want any sauce on the, sometimes people like a sauce on their steak, peppercorn sauce or something? Yeah, I like a sauce. What do you do? Well, this is similar to the soup, really, isn't it? Because I can have any flavor I want. Yes. You know, so I could have peppercorn. Yeah.

But I could have anything. Mm. Cherry cola. Cherry cola again. Cherry cola sauce, good night. Sometimes people cook me in Coke cola, don't they? Yeah. And cola goes into barbecue sauce sometimes,

so I actually think that would work as a sauce. If I've had a better idea, yeah, yeah, yeah. Popped on sauce. No, it's expecting that, aren't they? No, it looks like cherry cola, but it tastes of popped on. I also get bread sources of thing. So that's why not have popped on sauce. Yeah. You know, like why doesn't that exist in the world already? Yeah, why doesn't that?

Yeah. So I think you've done a good thing there. Yeah, I've invented something. Yeah, you've invented something properly. The problem source that looks like cherry cola. Yeah, yeah. Well, I haven't invented that. I've invented pop it on source. I have no idea how to make it look like cherry cola.

That's beyond my abilities. I have to get like, Heston Blumenthal for that. Well, the gene, the geney can do that. I can do that for you. Oh, can you? I can make anything you want. If you want it to look like cherry cola, but tastes like pop it on source, done. Yeah gene you can do that. I can do that for you. How can you? I can make anything you want. If you want it to look like Chevy Co. Then it tastes like pop it on sauce, done.

Yeah, I'd like that. Yeah, you can have that on your steak, on your... On steak. On your fillet wago. Fillet wago, yeah. No gristle. There'll be no gristle, I promise. We know how to deal with pool.

Yeah. I'll tell you what I could do. This is just a silly idea. I could have, I mean, I don't, you want silly ideas, really? I think we're, we're just,'t, you want silly ideas, really do. I think we're, we just, we're talking about a pop it up source looks like cherry co-there. I think we're okay with whatever you're about to say. I could have a source that tastes of gristle. See what it's like, because I've never eaten gristle.

Yeah. Because whenever I've tried to eat some gristle, no, some people just eat gristle. I don't know. You see them? Oh, lovely. Oh, like that fat all round a bit of ham. Yeah, it's a bit fat. Yeah, they're not actual gristle, but're lovely. Oh, like that fat all round a bit of ham. Yeah, it's a bit fat. Yeah, they're actual whistle, but they fat. Yeah, it's just, it's getting confusing because you call, you seem to call everything gristle. It's gristle, yeah. What do you think about?

I call you gristle. Yeah, you do. That's actually my future name for you. Ed Gristle. Sometimes, sometimes when Ed's like stalking me, yeah, yeah. There are little times when there's just a moment, it might be a moment when I'm just frantically getting my bedroom door closed, trying to get the privacy lock over. Desperate trying to push his foot out, so he does, and he's trying to, I'm trying to push

back a knife that he's trying to get to the door. That's got really sinister. Yeah, I know, it's quite useless. You're the one who does it, mate. When I say, no, I get a gamble, is it? I mean, a butter knife, because, you know, he's trying to butter you. He's trying to butter me up. He's trying to butter me up, up literally is that just spent the whole evening

Buttering me again. We've got mixed up with the phrase. Yeah. Yeah. So it Ed Gamboyd it treats me like a crumpet. Yeah Anyway, after such nights as that sometimes it's just a moment. It's like hatred in both the rice You know like if we look at each other Yeah, go for me just go go help our room and ease. I want to put more butter on you. And sometimes there's just a little, it's a little moment of like human connection between us.

Almost as if we've both had enough of all the stress and all the worry. And then I just say, all right, Gristle. That's my little affectionate name. And then Ed Gambley blows me a little kiss and I close the door. That's the end for that day, till the morning and the night magic starts. Your dream side dish?

Our dream side dish. Well, can I have Dover's Souls sashimi? Of course you can. Yeah. Because I really like sashimi. I just love it. It's the best. It's like one of the best things ever, isn't it?

When you get really good sashimi, it's so good. Yeah. And I did think I could have all the selection of sashimi, but then one time I was in a restaurant in Tokyo and it was mixed in three-star star, but it was very unpotentious because it's Japan. And I had like some of the best food ever there. I had like a carrot. It was the best carrot I've ever tasted in my whole life. I don't know how they cooked a carrot so well. And part of the meal was Dover Soul Sashimi. And also the restaurant, it was called grunt. If you translated it, it was the kind of fish called Grunt. Anyway,

it was so nice. So I just thought, can I just like absolutely have loads of the dovesolves sashimi. It's expensive, but just have that. In fact, I might even cut down a bit on the fillet steak just so I can just really go. With the restaurant called Grunt. It's called Grunt, but in Japanese, it's the Japanese name for the fish called grunt. It's named after the fish called grunt. It's not called grunt like run. Yeah. It's not like it's not a big ins. No, it's not Christopher. No, that's the Christopher big ins restaurant, which is a runically also called grunt. Yes. From his days when he was trying to be all masculine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a restaurant. Yeah. Right. Welcome. yeah, he was the major D lead. Welcome

people. Yeah, welcome to the restaurant. Welcome to Grant. You'd say trying to be all masculine and that's the thought. That's the theme of the restaurant masculine masculinity masculinity was a theme, but it's soon went wrong. wrong. By the time people are just getting their starters, it would already turn into a big camp fest. Chris for a big ins go round and say, hmm, who's for another little savey mouthful? I wouldn't mind one myself and all that. It was like that. It went on like that for the rest of the evening. This double soul shes she me sounds brilliant. I think that's a wonderful choice. Yeah, I think it's nice. Wonderful choice.

Have you got soy and wasabi to do any dipping or do you leave that alone? Yeah, a bit of dipping. A bit of dipping. And also the opportunity to look sophisticated. I put my wasabi in the sauce. I only put half the wasabi in. That's my method. I'm using the chopsticks showing yourself as a kitchen.

Yeah, yeah. Always fun, particularly if this somebody who doesn't use the chopsticks at the meal, it has to use a fork. Yeah. What would you think of those people? Do you think they're worse than the people who have a steak done, well done? Yeah, I think it's, I think it's, I, I never used to be able to use a chopsticks actually until I was about 10 years ago, actually.

I never could do it. Yeah. But one time I was on a flight from Sydney to Tokyo and I sat next to a Japanese lady and I just observed her and I learned everything from, well, why are you looking at me for waiting for you in a phone box? And you sat next to the woman you didn't know and watched her hands for the whole flight. Yeah, well, I wanted to see what she was doing with her chopsticks. Yeah. And I learned everything from that. You didn't ask it, did you talk to her and say, what's the secret?

Yeah, I mean, the way you paint it in a very different life, but you know, I think it was, it wasn't like we were having a big long chat the whole flight, but it wasn't like, I didn't say anything either. You know, we would have had a couple of exchanges. It was very nice for you. You know, you're having the Japanese dish as well. You're very nice, yes, the,

something like that. You're very nice. No, the sashimi said, not your very nice. You said to her, you're like the Japanese dish as well. You're very nice. I thought you said that as well, but, well is not your very nice. You said to her, you're like the Japanese, that is well, you're very nice. I thought you said that as well, but... Well, yes, she was very nice person, you know.

And I didn't mean it like that. But you observed her. Yeah, I observed her. And now you live your life like her in all ways? Or just the chopsticks? Yeah, in some ways, I live my life in that way, you know, because I use the chopsticks. Yeah, in some ways, I live my life in that way, you know, because I use the chopsticks with her. And also, if I were to ever fly to Japan again, I would

be going there for a euthanasia session. Yeah. Like her, like she was, you know, she was going to say, final journey. So she said, look, I just said said I've had enough, you know, I've had a, you know, I've said, I've got a terrible disease and I've had a good life, but I'm going back, see my family and then it's a euphemous session, end it all. So I can assure you the fact I get saying, you're very nice and looking at her hands. She wasn't bothered. She wasn't bothered. She was well beyond all that. She just thought, if there's some weird pervert looking at my hands fine, let him. Within minutes of getting off the plane, she was dead. She had to go straight into, she didn't even bother going through immigration.

She didn't even bother re-entering her own nation. Just as soon as she got into the sort of the arrivals area, they just put an injection in her and and she went. I mean, in some ways, it wasn't strictly youth and age. It was more of an assassination. Yeah, but she knew about it. It was a pre-election. She wanted us to do it. Yeah, I mean, in fact, she had said to me,

please help me, I'm in danger. There's assassins. I came back to Japan. I want to go back. I don't want to live my whole life in exile and Sydney. But there's a danger. I said, don't worry. I'll be looking out for you. Don't worry. If I'm here, you'll be safe. She felt I think comforted to know that I had her back. I was going to be an as soon as, as soon as these people all went round her, like with syringes and like these people all like all went round like with syringes and like yeah and chloroform and like poison darts and various other killing methods yeah as soon as they did that I just um I said oh

oh uh transverse this way I was off I was off yeah there's too much to handle if it is a lot a lot of you to take on all of what's isn't it so we've all had that happen on a plane you sort of bond with someone on the plane. And then you say, Oh, keeping touch. Yeah, yeah. And oh, you're taking the same flight. Are you two? Yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's not. You won't there. And then they just give you the slip and then you never see them again. Similar to that, but much worse. Yeah. I promised. I had promised that I would protect her. I would protect her life.

She said to me, you know, you're a stranger, but we have a connection now because you are guaranteeing my life, you're going to protect me. And she said that shows what decency you have as a human being because ultimately you will protect me. And I said, well, it doesn't really matter that I don't know you. That's just what one does for another human being. And we're all part of one human race. And so I'm going to protect you. I didn't. No, she was, she was into the arms of the assassins.

Yeah. Do you remember her name? Yes. Yes. I remember her name, but you can't say it out loud. I can't say it for legal reasons, but you hold it in your heart, you think about every day? Every time you use chopsticks. Every time I use chopsticks, I think of her name. Yeah. And every time, every time I don't use chopsticks, I other times of the day when I'm not using chopsticks,

I also think of her, because I think, well, I sent her to her death. LAUGHTER Yeah. That was my fault. Yeah. Yeah, that's a way ahead. To her death. It was my fault. But yeah, so I think of it all the time really. It weighs heavily on my conscience. But when I'm using chopsticks,

that's when I say a name over and over again. Yeah. Sort of like a mantra. Which is ironically, I have a template. Which I stayed in a different one to you. Yeah, different ones to me. Yeah, one step ahead. Which I stayed in a different one to you. Yeah, different ones to me.

Yeah, one step ahead. Your dream drink, Paul. Oh, dream drink. Well, I wanted a question about when's the drink administered, sort of think, because whatever you want. Yeah, well, that's the point. I mean, do I just, do I choose one drink? Like, for example, I might like a porn star martini.

Yeah. So really nice drink. That didn't even exist about 12 years ago. It's amazing. So I might like a porn star martini. So really nice drink that didn't even exist about 12 years ago. It's amazing. So I'm just invented that 12 years ago. But I might want that. I wouldn't want it for the whole thing. I wouldn't want that with the nervous host Sashimi. Well, we could give you maybe the porn star martini when you when you come into the restaurant. That's like the welcoming drink. Yeah, welcoming drink. And then we could give you another drink for the food. So it's just one drink. So it's not very sophisticated. No, we don't know.

We could give you a different drink. I mean, you know, normally with a tasting menu, you have a different drink. You can do that if you can do that. You can do it if you want. Well, why didn't you say that earlier? We wait for people to hack the format. Oh, I see.

You wait for people to... You can have a pawnstile martini when you arrive at the restaurant. Yeah, I have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and that's champagne. And a pawnstile martini when you arrive at the restaurant. Yeah, that would not be right, yes. So, and that's champagne. A pawnstone martini is like that Passover, isn't it? Is that passion fruit? It's a cure.

Often got a half passion fruit in the top of the ascetic. It's got a half passion fruit in the top. And then it comes with a little shot of Prosecco, doesn't it? Right. Yeah, so you're doing that. But I'll change that for a shot of quail and champagne, flat champagne, as big. So I can have a bit more. Yeah, yeah.

If I had that, that's my shot. Yeah. Do you like porn stars? Do I like porn stars? Yeah, I think they're great. You know, I wouldn't have been expected to do the drink of porn star, Martinez. Not something I would have. No, I wouldn't.

I wouldn't have guessed that. Well, I like sweet flavours, like passion fruit, it's nice. And I also find it, I say funny. I mean, it's just, it's a good example of marketing, isn't it? Because it's got nothing to do with porn stars at all. It just sounds like it's like the person who invented that cocktail, what's it called? A slow, comfortable screw or something. Against the wall.

Against the wall. And I thought, aren't I being clever and it's going to really take off, it didn't take off. It's just a novelty. No one actually gets it. Occasionally it's on a menu and people say, who can I have a slow culture of screw against wall? And then someone else says, I can see what's all the evening is turning into, you know, a little joke like that.

It's all part of the flutations, it's all part of the night. But it's harmless. It's harmless. It's harmless. It's not always harmless. No. Not in the case of that Japanese lady, because the flutation turned into death. Was that what started her being hunted down then? A conversation like that, which was ordering a cocktail.

She asked for a slow, comfortable school against the wall. Yeah, she asked for a slow come from a school against wall. I said, did you say shot against the wall. Yeah, she asked her a slow come from the screw against wall. I said, did you say shot against the wall? She said, oh, that sounds fun. A shot against the wall. Is that like a shot or like a shot of something as I stand against wall? Sounds fun.

I said, well, you're fine. Now, it seems to get off this plane. So you had a killed. Yeah, I, I, yeah, this is one of the reasons why the guilt is so heavy on me. I was the one, in fact, I haven't really explained the story. When we got off the plane, I said, I'll protect you, I just got to the, to the loo, you see, then I came back as the assassin. Yeah, I tell you know, you know, you like to get against the wall for your shot and she was shot,

you know, so it was me. I was the, I was the assassin all along. Yeah, I went back into a loop, came back as me and she was like, where were you to protect me? And then there was a sort of a moment as she lay there, dying when she realized that I was both all along and she was like, you were the assassin. And I said, that's right, Crystal. was both all along and she was like, you were the assassin. And I said, that's right, Crystal. Because that was my pet name for her. As it happens, quite instantly, the same one I've got for you. Well, I'm scared now. Yeah, scared for my life. It's the same one. But anyway, that was her. And you were the last thing she saw, was she looking at you as she died? Well, I was like, flick it out. I wouldn't say that. No, because you stood on a connecting flight

to Kyoto. Did she make that? Oh, yeah. She made that. She was severely injured. She made it through the connecting flights. It's only a 45 minute flight, James. Yeah. Yeah. You're only 30 minutes in transit. Straight on the flight. I mean, yeah. I don't know what sort of death you think she had. It wasn't that quick. Well, I mean, I don't know what sort of a death I think she had at one point she was injectable as something. And at the other point, they surrounded her and injected her and like a poison dance, a poison dance, all sorts. And now it's you shooting her and then she got a heart. I don't know how she died. I don't know, she's died on this. Was she a hectic flight?

No, no, I mean, she pulled through. She put, she's alive. It's just a little life. She's still alive. She was injured, injured in many ways, quite shaken. Yeah, but she's still alive. Oh, good. Well, that'll be it.

She's living a happy life. Yeah. I still like to be a pen pal. That's very good. So you've got a porn stunt, Martini, as you arrive. Yeah. But then what drinks do you want with the different courses? Do you have how many how many

different drinks do you want? Well, could I have 12? Yeah. Well, have you said 12 with 12 in mind? Of you said 12 and now you've got to think of 12 drinks. I've said 12 and I've got about four in mind and now I've got to quickly think of my fear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know the thing, you know what that's

like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, when you want a podcast and you say something silly, and then you think, what have I done? I felt a bit like that with that story about that, when I said about me going into the Lou, and I thought that doesn't really tie in to the, those people all surrounding her with the poison darts, but I thought, I'm sure James will just roll, he's not going to pick me up on that. He won't mention it. He's not going to say, although there was something in the story, it didn't make sense. He won't mention it. He'll just let it go, but you did. I mentioned it. Yeah, and then I said she's still alive. The whole story kind

of fell apart at that point, didn't it? No, I think we've got a very clear view of that story. I mean, you think he's clear, yes. Yeah, we know everything that happened in've got a very clear view of that story. Are you thinking clear? Yeah, we know everything that happened in that story is very clear. Right. Well, Pino Disharon, that would be one of my drinks. Are we unclean and porn star martini in the twelfth? Pino Disharon, because it makes you sound sophisticated towards something like that, doesn't it?

Yeah, yeah, Pino Disharon. I'll say so. So I have that as a peritif. Yeah. Camparians soda. Oh, it's a classic, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, pin a dish here on. I'll say. So I have that as a peritif. Yeah. Camparians soda. Oh, it's a classic, isn't it? Yeah, it's lovely.

It's classic for a reason. It's bitter. I love bitter flavors. Yeah. I love all the, I used to think that I wasn't very sophisticated, like with wine, because I like all the wines. Yeah. But then I realized that's because I like all the flavors.

I like sweet. I like bitter. I like sour. I like umami, the fourth flavour. And I also, I don't like the fifth flavour. What's the fifth flavour? Shit. It's not good, is it?

Even in a... No! But it's even in a small dose, it's not good. It's never, it never adds to it. It's not good, it's horrible. It's a horrible flavour. Bittersweet salad. We might want me in.

And shit. I'm done. We've got a lot of drinks to get through here, Paul. Yeah, it's just alright. Alright. Sorry. Sorry. We've had three, haven't we?

I believe so. Yeah, so um, have we? Yeah, we've had three, haven't we? I believe so. Yeah, so um, halfway. Yeah, we've had three. Yeah, Queen of the Sharan. Let's not go to all the game. Yeah, free. Please. No, actually, let's keep going through it. Let's keep adding one and then having to go through it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pulsed out my team, no? My team. Queen of the Sharan. Camparid soda. Yeah, after that, Sherry. Mm-oda. Yeah, after that, Sherry. Yeah, have a Sherry. I love these Sherry.

Not Sherry. Then after that, Shardene, nice Shardene, nice wine. Yeah, very nice. After that, a nice, other white wine. Another white wine. Any white wine. Reasling. Yeah.

Never reasling. Yeah, you like reasling, see? After that, can I have shit juice, but not have it? Just leave that one. So it's one of the drinks, but I leave it. So I only drink 11 of them. Yes, shit juice. It's the essence of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're not going to have it. But you have it. It's the essence of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're not going to have it. But you're having it. It's what it is there. Yeah. As a reminder of like at least I'm not drinking that. How good you've got it. Yeah. But it's not actually shit. Because it reminds me of, you know, there's that thing that the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, make the museum there where they've got a machine that makes human shit.

Well, I don't know that. So they, like, like, they've got a machine that they put food into and in every way image it's a great big machine. Exactly the same chemicals that are in the human body and it makes shit. And it takes the exact same amount of time right. So people turn up to the museum to see the machine poop. Have you been there? No, but I've read about it.

Yeah, so it comes out poop, but it's not real poo, because it's kind of is real, but isn't. Sure. Because it's just like chemical. Wow. So I'd have the same. I'd make it chemically. Yeah.

It's got chemical shit flavoring. Yeah. See what it from that machine? Yeah, from that machine. Yeah, from Hobart. Shit, she's. The essence of shit from that museum and Hobart. Yeah. Actually, I tell you what I might do. One of my favourite flavours is bubblegum flavour.

And did you know that bubblegum flavour is made from banana and strawberry, but it's a special chemical thing. So it's only one aspect of the chemicals that make banana and one aspect of the chemicals that make strawberry. I don't know. I know that. So it's just like one bit of the sort of thing. So I could do the same with shit, just like a little bit of the shit. What you want to have. I'll put you to have a bubble gum flavoured thing, but no, you're still on the shit. Yeah, you're still on the shit juice. Yeah, actually, I've changed my mind. Can I, yeah, I have a bubble gum. Bubble gum flavored drink.

Yeah, bubble gum flavored drink. Instead of the shit juice. Yeah, so forget the shit juice. It's disgusting. I don't want it. So you've done seven so far. It's horrible. Five more drinks to go.

I'm glad you know how you shit, juice balls. It's horrible. Yeah, bubble gum. Bubble gum juice. Juice. Bubble gum stuff. Yeah. And then maybe some nice red wine.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe a light one. A light red wine. And then a heavy one. Yeah. Nice heavy French red wine. Yeah. Bones out. Yeah. Can I have chattrous? Yes. Yeah. Because I like that. Yeah. And I've got like a bit of a relationship with chattrous. Yeah. Or many, I don't know, sometimes it's the drink I go to after having had many other drinks, I always go to a Chotrus. Oh. Once I'm I landed in Brazil.

And I must have had a few wines on the plane because when we got off I kept going on the boat. Let's go to a Vella. And then I kept saying, I don't have any Chotrus. And the Fabellus. Yeah, I was a danger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have a danger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have died that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Two more drinks, Paul. Oh, two, a shambor. Lovely. I had an incident once at terminal three, he threw a terminal three, shambor. What happened to that?

Was that... Well, it was a... Killing another woman? A key royal station. Shampaign with shambor. Yeah. But I was particularly having a bit of shambor. And then I kept saying, just one more, a shambor. But I was particularly having a bit of shambor. And then I kept saying, just one more shambor. Just one more shambor. Then eventually they said you have to get onto your

aircraft now or it will leave. Air travel seems to be a real issue for you. A lot of the sort of hot points in your life come during air travel. Well, the times of assassinated people. Yes, but then there's the for Valachar truce incident. And then he throw one more sample one more sample. Yes, yes. It has been a flashpoint. Yeah. Yeah. It's a danger. And your final drink final drink, one more drink left final one.

The final maybe it is your final whenever to want it to be. Oh, what like what like that horrible stuff that give you in dignity. I mean, that's a drink, isn't it? Maybe. what like that horrible stuff that give you indignitas, you mean? That's a drink, isn't it? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, I don't know, I don't want that. It's a nice. No, something nice.

What about nice glass of milk? Yes, a nice glass of milk. Semi-skimmed, skimmed, full fat. Full fat, yeah. I did that once on, again, on a plane. Because I was on a plane at Bermuda and it was nine in the morning and they said, would you like a drink before takeoff? And I said a gin and orange, which has seen is very eccentric because it's like flying to New York, it's an American Airlines flight to

New York. You do not order a gin and orange at nine in the morning in America. They were just like, what? Gin and orange and then I drank it and I was ever so slightly tipsy because I had a Jean and Orange before even take off, and I wrote some comedy about the fact that it was a dove, it was really fat. It was quite successful. I did it in one of my shows, and then later the Kevin Koo person came through and said, what would you like? And I thought, I've got to really come

out with Sonny here, because she's thinking, oh, I'm going to say, yeah, Jen and Orange. So I just said, a glass of milk, please. And she just said, good come back. She knew, she knew I had FOXTA. She knew I outplayed her, because she was like, she knew that she thought was thinking I was going to say, oh, another Jen orange is going to be like another ginormous, that's what you want, but it's still only a quarter to ten morning with her right. She wouldn't have said that, obviously because she's professional, but she's done it with her right. Yeah. Or she'd have, I'd just said something like a coffee and she'd say, I just said something like a coffee and she said, oh, coffee, you know, how you play it safe.

Have a coffee, yes. Have too much gin, did you have it? Having a coffee, but I absolutely outplayed her. That's a glass of milk. LAUGHTER We arrive at your dream dessert pool. Oh, yes. Can I have souffle?

Because souffle is so fun, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. It's brilliant. And I was thinking about flavour. And I was thinking about rambutan. I like rambutan. I don't know what rambutan is. Well, it's a bit like a light cheese, isn't it?

But different, slight different flavour. And it's really lovely flavour. Again, you've just got all the flavour in the souffle. No need, a bit like the soup. His name is a bother with all like peeling the rambutan and getting the thing and getting the stone out, just get straight to the flavor. And then I was thinking about other things like light she I love and passion fruit and all the other fruits. And then I was thinking like when I was in Penang in Malaysia and like I had all these fruits that I've never heard of before since with

amazing flavours. So could I have a special souffle so every mouthful it's a different fruit. Yes, of course you can absolutely. So each mouthful it changes. That sounds delicious. Yeah, I know, I know dessert souffle it's very special they are very nice. Yes, and could I have violet flavour? I know that's not a fruit, but could I have that? It's one of my flavours. Like a palm of violet flavour? Yeah, like a palm of violet flavour. Wow.

And rose flavour. I like rose. Like, I like that you can get a rose and make that into cooking. Yeah, it's mad as a brilliant. Yeah. Yeah, that is bonkers. You want rose, you want violet, you want lighty, you want manby town. Lighty, you want lighty.

And passion fruit. I want dragon fruit. Yeah. Which I was always used to be disappointed by because it looks so pretty from the outside and not so much inside. But then I realized there's a real delicacy to the flavour. You have to be prepared to probe into the flavour of the dragon fruit. Yeah, yeah. You've got to be sophisticated. Yeah. So those are some of the flavours. One flavour to be like an aspect of a banana and then another flavour to be a certain aspect

of a strawberry. Yes, so we have that, bubble gum flavour and cherry flavour, sour cherry flavour. Now, I did something about three years ago, which was I went to Greece and I was with a friend of mine. And then we went to Perreus. We spent some time in Greece, then we went to Perreus, which is that port because we were taking boats somewhere. And he said, would you like a drink? Because we were waiting for the ferry. And I said, because I hadn't had it for like 25 years,

sour cherry juice, because you used to be able to get that in Britain like 25 years ago. So I just said it because I just thought gets him out in my hair for a bit. And to my amazement, he comes back 30 things later with sour cherry juice. Wow. They sell it in Greece. Wow. In Perreas.

That's where to go. It I had yesterday. I had a, there's that, a cola that's called green cola. You familiar with that, bro? Oh no, what's that? It's called green cola. You familiar with that, bro? Oh, no, or so. It's like a diet cola, but it's all quite natural ingredients. And it tastes a bit more, maybe botanical than some of a diet colas, but it's very nice.

One of the things they do is sour cherry. Oh. And that's not a sour cherry cola. It's just like sour cherry kind of fizzy drink. Oh. And I had that yesterday as I was walking here, actually. And there was very, very nice. I hadn't had it before and they really nailed it.

Well, did you get me a can? I'd like to. I finally I knew. Yeah. I finally I knew. But I got it from the Holland and Barrett. Oh, well, I'll get a Holland and Barrett and get one. Yeah.

Do you want the flavor of that in one of the spoonfuls of seafood? Yeah. The flavor of that thing you've described to save me after to go to Holland and Barrett to get it. Do you want the flavor of that in one of the spoonfuls of seafood? Yeah, the flavor of that thing you've described to save me to go to the Holland Barrett to get it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, great. I'll put that in there. I'll leave you a menu back to you now and see how you feel about it. Yes. You want still water. Yes. You want poppodums of all the dips,

plus a cherry-colder flavored poppodums sauce looks like poppodums. Yes. Data, you want quail and flat champagne aspic. Yes. Main course, wagyu for the steak, quite rare with poppodum flavored cherry coa the sauce. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Side dish, dova soul sashimi from Grant. Drink, you would like, but when you arrive, you want a porn star martini, you have a shot of the aspic and she's jelly again. And then you want peanut do groyo with itino Disharon. Disharon. Camparion soda. Shares his for out the meal. Sherry. Shardonnay. Reaslin. Bubble gum juice. Light red wine. A heavy red wine. Shard truce. One more Shambor and a milk. I'm glad I took out the um shit juice. It wouldn't have fitted. It wasn't have. It wasn't right.

No. And you want a souffle that changes with every single mouth, or changes flavor with each mouth for this. How do you feel about that? I feel, I feel, I feel good. I feel it sounds like a great meal. Yeah. I feel like you've used the dream restaurant

to its full strengths. Yeah. In that you've invented things, there's magical dishes. Yeah. There's a lot going on. You admitted that you attempted to kill a Japanese woman. Yes. Yes. But very happy that she survived in that story.

You've admitted that you've been making my life. Why has she never admitted that? She's been quite throughout the whole thing. Yes, but it's been stated. Yes, it's been stated. You have to know it. You didn't deny it. No.

You have been buttering me up. Ed Gamble has been deny it. No. You have been buttering me up. Ed Gamble has been. Yes, Ed Gamble has been buttering me up literally in a series of travel watches around Britain. Yeah. Pudding butter over me. Thank you so much for coming on off-name. Well, thanks James A. Castor.

Thank you Paul. Thanks Ed Gamble. Crystal. That's fine. I don't say to Campbell, crystal. Well, there we are, James. Whoa! Whoa. I mean, I knew the pull for episode was going to be something special.

Yeah. But that was, that was bananas, man. What a ride. So many characters, so many tales. Yes. We got told, I don't know what to believe. What was true? What wasn't? Who's used to say?

I properly lost it on numerous occasions. Yeah. I'm sure we'll release a video of Paul talking about the different flavors in food and what is burp. Yeah, and what is burp. That's all I mean, man, what a great episode. Interesting menu as well. Didn't say moist cake. Didn't say moist cake, but you know, how could we have guessed what he was going to say? Yeah. The quail soup, whatever it was with the jelly, the cubes of, yeah, the cubes of aspect. Man. Great. I hope, you know, I hope this episode does. I think most people know about comedy, no, Paul Furt, no, he's brilliant. Yeah. But I hope if people are listening, looking out for new comics to enjoy,

their next favourite, I think it might be poor foot. Has to be, and you can go and see him do his new show, Desolvers, on tour. Yes. And it will be fantastic. Yes. Thank you very much for listening. We'll see you again next week. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hello, I'm Sarah Pasco and I'm Carrie Adloyd. You might remember us from the peak of our careers, appearing on the excellent, off menu podcast. It's the greatest we've ever felt and we know we'll never achieve that again, but if you remember those episodes and enjoyed what we did, you might be a fan of our book choices and our new comedy podcast,

Sarah and Carrie-Erds, Weirdo's Book Club. Imagine us not talking about food, but talking about books. But with the comedians you know from our menu, like Nish Kumar, Junker and Sopie Jooker and more. We're not copying them, we're doing our own thing. It's totally different. It's about books. It's about books.

There's no genies involved. It's a space for the lonely outsider to feel accepted and appreciated. Just like James A. Custer's bedroom. Oh! A place for the first nude luxury in a real book club, but doesn't like wine or nibbles. You can read along, share your opinions, or just skull-corrown to your own coach like the Weirdo you are. Thank you for reading with us. We like reading with you. We're ending one as well.

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