Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 204: Carol Vorderman

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

I'll have a side dish please, Carol! We're back in National Treash territory as ‘Countdown’s Carol Vorderman orders her dream meal. ‘Carol Vorderman’s Perfect 10 Quiz Book’ is published on 14th September, published by Ebury Press. Buy it here. Listen to Carol’s podcast ‘Perfect 10 with Carol Vorderman’ here. Follow Carol on Twitter and Instagram @carolvorders Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's Ed and James from Off Menu here. Well, I hate to do this, but Nishkumas got a new standup special coming out, James. Yeah, listen, he's our friend. Yeah. So, even if this was awful, we'd have to plug it. Yeah. Here's the problem. He sent it to me.

He asked me, can you watch it? Just give me any notes on the edit. Yeah. Just, you know, that'd be really helpful. He knew it was already perfect. He sent it to me to make me feel inadequate. And it worked. Because the whole show was immaculate.

I'm very annoyed that he did that to me, but I'm very excited for the public to see this special. Well, he didn't ask me for notes because he doesn't value my opinions. I'm happy to say it's probably quite bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't ask, well, you're a niche. You've known each other for longer than I've known even of you. And so he already knows that he's in your head.

Also, I was there when it was recorded. You watched it. Yeah, it is really good. So we knew that it all had got here. This is what you get if you ask us to plug your special mesh. Your power, your control is on sky comedy on demand from August 25th. Fuck you, Nish.

T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T.

T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T's a show that we recommend. I'm causing our head. I am skinny and ugly, and my hair is red. It's the system.

I'm in great aid, so I'm important. I'm in heaven, man. For a while, there are even side you are killed and be it not, beaver. Probably dead. Rebelling the stories behind your favorite Canadian content, this is once upon a time in Hollywood North. In our next season, we're turning from the kids in the hall to look at the life and work

of Filmmaker, David Cronenberg, a creator of Scanneries. Starting September 5th, listen wherever podcasts are heard. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com James, today's episode of Off Menus sponsored by Audible. You know Audible. There's so much to enjoy on their audio books, podcasts, exclusive originals.

There's more to imagine, James. Ah, my, I love an audio book. You know, more and more now, if you ever write a book, everyone's just like, is it an audio book that that's all they want now? They ever write a book, everyone's just like, isn't it an audiobook that that's all they want now? They don't want to read. Yeah, especially comedians, audiobooks, an audible have got all of the best comedians,

audiobooks. And you. Yeah, that is true. I'm joined the gang, but you know, if you want to listen to a bit Joe Dominic's audiobooks on there. Yeah, I bet it is. Mine's going to be on there in October. Very, very excited to be joining the audible family. There is so much to enjoy. It's not just

comedians though, James, you know, you've got some absolute classic audio books on there. Test of the Derbavils, heard of it. I'm not sure if Thomas Hardy reads that one, but I very wish he could have done. I would love it if Hardy's reading Test of the Derbavils. Also, they have original podcasts on there, the Light Podcast from Michelle Obama, for example. We all love Michelle Obama. Yep, and if you don't, then I don't think you deserve to listen to anything. There's more to imagine with Ordeball from best-selling audiobooks to podcast, exclusive originals. Ordeball.ca is the home for all of your favourite Canadian voices. Join us and free for 30 days visit audible.ca.

Welcome to the Off-Mony podcast chopping the apple of humour and throwing that into the fruit salad. That's a gamble, but if it's James A. Gaster, we're going to dream best, John. And every week we invite a guest in and ask them their favourite ever start a main course to serve side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week I guess is Carol Vorderman. We are well and truly in Nash Tresh Territory James. And Carol is the first national treasure we've had on the podcast. We could open up that treasure chest,

count all the money and tell us exactly how much is in there. To the pound. It's not money in there, is it? It's the other people. Oh, is it treasure chest for the people? When national treasures. What do you think? What do you think? What do you think?

Well, I was saying, what is in the National Treasure Chester's? For the treasure. And that's what we're at. Or where is the small ever, right? But then as soon as the treasure chest opens, Carol's going to turn into a coin. So how it works, they turn into a coin

and they're in the chest forever. Wow. That's nice. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that must be comforting. Yeah. Carol, of course, everyone knows Carol Fordham and I go up watching Carol on Countdown. Me too.

Then we got to see our friend Jolt Domet, the comedian, go into the jungle with Cowell. Yes. And these days, not only does she have a fantastic podcast, but also is bringing out a new book, Cowell Fordham and perfect 10. Yes. This is based on her podcast, it's sort of 10 quiz questions a day, the podcast, and that's what the book is sort of a little bit like that. I mean, there's some interesting questions in there. Maybe you never know James when Carol's in the dream restaurant. Maybe she'll quiz us on some stuff. I really hope so. I love being quiz. I love little brain busters.

You do love little brain busters. I love being quiz. And then you have a meltdown just before you're about to film it. I don't know what you're afraid to. Well, I can find the texts from when you were in the mastermind dressing room, if you want. Oh, yeah, they put the pressure in you. They don't. I'm excited to have Carol on, but if Carol does pick a secret ingredient and green in,

we have deemed to be unacceptable, we will be forced to kick out of the green restaurant, and I hope that doesn't happen. No, me too. And the secret ingredient this week is alphabetical spaghetti. Alphabetical spaghetti, of course, a cheeky little Northern and a wing to Carol's life as the countdown

letters and numbers lady. Yes, so you know, I mean, maybe if Carol ate alphabetical spaghetti, she would, you know, see it as one massive anagram on her plate and be forced to rearrange them into words and sentences. Yes. Make a sense of her meal. Also it's disgusting after both of you's spaghetti.

Doesn't taste good. Too slippery. Yeah, slippery and slimy. Doesn't taste better than... I've ever had spaghetti hoops. Yeah, of course. But I wouldn't want to have the little stubby, that was mini spaghetti strands that come in the sauce.

I don't like those. The hoops rain super-eat for me. Hoops and sausages for me. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Maybe a sausage is where I'm in a hoop like a belt. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. It's a sexy sausage. No, the sexy sausage. Pfft. This is the off-menu menu of Carol Vorderman. Carol Vorderman. ... ...

... ... ... ... ... Welcome, Carol, to the Dream Restaurants. Oh, thank you, I'm very excited. Welcome, Carol, Vorderman, to the Dream Restaurants. I mean, it's been you for some time.

I had a lot of saliva in my mouth, I did that one. I really had to hold it all in. It was very difficult. Yeah, the traditional genie would explode out of the lamp and there'd be like steam and stuff. I know. I was expecting quite a lot of dry difficult. Yeah, the traditional genie would explode out of the lamp and there'd be like steam and stuff. I know. I was expecting quite a lot of dry ice. Yeah. I was expecting that amount. So quite disappointed, really. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was expecting a mouthful of saliva.

Yeah, yeah. I wasn't expecting it. I think you can see it on my face. Yeah, well, there we go. Have you ever been on stars in the idea of a different version? I did. I was a very first person on it. Wow. Yes. I was in a polling share. Yeah. Yeah. Really, really bad. And it was back in I remember it. Somebody shit was laughing at it the other day again. I remember it, somebody shit was laughing at it the other day again. And 1998 it was. And the boss of ITV was a guy called David Lidman, who's genius boss. And he came up with this idea, and it was the first ever celebrity version of a normal show. Oh, wow.

And he said, I've got this idea, Karen, you know, that because I used to do a lot of shows for ITV peak time, and he said, I know you love stars in their eyes. He said, what's your record? And I was like, genius! He said, yeah, get famous people to do it. I mean, absolutely, genius said, and you're one of them. What?

What? If he's known that he was quite a one asking that, you know what I don't need, it's a good idea. Absolutely. A terrible idea, David. Yeah, and they persuaded me to do share. And it was really weird, so it was Matthew Kelly, obviously, tonight, Matthew, I'm going

to be. And then when we were recording it, and I had literally never sung through a microphone in my life, I mean, you, a bit of a party animal, so you always find me on a table somewhere singing. But it's all right when you're drunk, isn't it? Yeah. Because you, just here, hear you as, you know, I was a cross between Blum and Sharon, Silin, Dion and all the rest. I was amazing, except I

wasn't. And then when you got my microphone and they did all the dry eyes and they go, tonight Matthew, and then everybody does their tonight Matthew, I'm going to to be and then you all go into makeup and they spend hours in makeup. Yeah. Transform everyone. Then you come back in and you do your performances. So I was on first and they're all this dry ice you know. I couldn't see a thing and I'd chosen the shoe shoe song and there's no musical intro you know normally it's like eh everyone goes mad and then you walk down the steps to like four bars of music, and then you stand up. Like, for no, I came through, everyone went,

ah, because I've been like, little caravold one on countdown. The issue was like this incredible tart in leather. Like, everyone screamed, I couldn't hear a thing. And then I thought, oh, there's the music, a better start, whereas by that point it's too late. So I was like, does he look? Do it again, did it twice and I was literally the tears were involuntarily falling down my cheeks and I thought, I can't hear the music. And you know how we like entertainment, everyone's like really cynical, aren't they?

They go, don't worry, love, we've got the shot of you coming through the ice. We've got the shot, just stand on the top of the step start, you know, and all of that sort of. Yeah. So that's not the version that went out. It is, but yes, they matched it, obviously, with the walk through.

Yeah, but it's not. Cut to an hour later. Yeah. On this stage. See the audience like, yeah. Oh, okay,'s not until an hour later. Yeah. Honestly, it's like, yeah, okay, come on, let's get through this. I'm a Matthew said to me, texted me on the night of transmission because it went out months later, I couldn't watch it. Yeah. I literally felt sick, I thought my career, that's it, it's over and my cousin Pam was downstairs because she's sort of half lived with us and watching it with my mum who lived with us when I was married.

And she shouted, she meant, don't worry, guys, don't worry, Carol, don't worry, love. It's a good job, you can count. This was after it was a thing, that was Pam. And then Matthew Texan, he said, I think we might have a bit of an audience. I've just been supermarket shopping in Ernston, which is where he's from in Manchester, he said, I think we might have a bit of an audience. I've just been supermarket shopping in Ernston, which is where he's from in Manchester. He said, there's no one around, which was the sign.

I think it got like 17, 18 million viewers or something. I mean, it was like, you know, the equivalent to the coronation. Do you know what I mean? It was that sort of thing. Oh, I died. I did. I'm sorry, it's a long story. But I absolutely died for months. I'm sorry, it's a long story, but I absolutely died for months.

I love that. There it. Because obviously this is all so pre-social media, the way you could tell that lots of people were watching something is if the supermarket was empty. Yeah. Literally, because you had to watch it, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. So, you know, I still can't sing. But anyway, well, we're not going to ask you this thing today. Oh, good. Could you do another cheesy thing? Now imagine that you're at the top of the steps and you've got the dry eyes. Can we just do it in the lead?

You'll have to re-take tonight, Carol. I'm going to be a genie. Welcome, Carol Vorder, to the Dream Vestron. A bit expecting you for some time. Best. That's pretty good with me. Yeah, that's best. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I felt good. I felt good. Yeah, let me pick it up. Plug that into the. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I felt good. Yeah, let me pick it up. Plug that into the early one beneath. Maybe look cool. Anyway, it's a delight to be here.

Really happy to talk to you about food today. Find out what you're, you're special. Oh, well, you're landing beneath it. They laughed at me because I never say really, really happy to talk to you about food today. I've never said that before. Yeah, it's been over the sounds like a catch phrase. Yeah, yeah. But about food today. I've never said that. Yeah, it's been over the sounds like a catch phrase. Yeah, yeah. But it really is really. I've never said it today. Never said it.

It's like he's talking to his aunties. I've got like my auntie Carol and I'm going to be like polite. Yes, we're going to be very polite boys. No, don't be polite today. No, don't be extra polite. Well, you know, our friend Joel Dommit, you're in the jungle with him. Yeah, he says, you're not polite at all. No, I'm

not. I like, well, it's a northern thing, isn't it? Part of it. Yeah, well, it is. It's like just insult me and I'm at at ease. Yeah. What was he like in the jungle, Joel? It was funny. They were all funny. We had a lovely time.

Yeah. Yours was the service where everyone got on. Yeah, and properly got on. There were a lot of bromances going on. Yes. He was Jordan, Banjo, Adam Thomas, Wayne Bridge, and Joel, and Larry. They just got on. And then the girls got on. I don't know. it was just a lovely time really yeah and obviously Joel did really well after yeah yeah yeah yeah did you have to eat anything gross in the jungle yes I did got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way.

I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. I've got the way. Well done. I've got the way.

I've got the way. Well done. Well done. I've got the way. Well done. I've got the way. Well done. I've got the way. Well done. Well done.

I've got the way. Well done. I've got the way. Well done. Well done. I've got the way. Well done. Well done. I've got the way. Well done. I've got the way. Well done. Well done. I've got the way. Well done. I've got the way. when somebody's eating a kangaroo's testicle, for instance. Yeah. What'd you do when you're sitting next to them? So I was just going, chew, chew, chew. What?

I mean, on that head, I'm thinking, why am I saying this? And then Scarlett just went, when you shut up, she went, I always shut up. But yeah, you're right, man. Yeah, yeah, just shut up. So you didn't have to eat the kangaroo test?

No, I did, because it alternated. Oh, you did. Yeah, of course. To have it. Yeah. You know, a thing with the silver, what do they call it? Clash. Clash, thank you.

And that would come and then they describe what it was. And they normally like wreaked of stuff. Yeah. And it was the chewiness of everything. Yeah. So you couldn't just go, yeah, I was better when we had the Hunger Games or Hungry Games. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. How would it end? Employed it. And it's sneezing to the live over

this. I know. It's terrible. It's horrible. I mean, Carol. It's embarrassing. No, it's okay. It's okay. And so, and then we're in the Hunger Games and I'm very good in, like, if I'm on a team. Yeah. I'm not so good when I'm, like, as an individual being competitive, but when I'm part of a team, you really want to be on your side. Yeah. I'm not so good when I'm like as an individual being competitive, but when I'm part of a team,

you really want to be a new side. Yeah. Yeah. Because I am so competitive. It was hungry games. So you can imagine no team against team. And then they had mushed up like blended all this horrible stuff. I was all right with accident.

I have to chew it. Yeah. It's the chewies. It's the texture more than anything. Yeah. So what was that like hundreds of kangaroo bollocks? Oh, and all that sort chewy thing. It's the texture more than anything. So what was that? Like, hundreds of kangaroo bollocks. Oh, and all that sort of thing. Yeah, and ostrich, whatever they do,

ostrichainus, or, you know, I mean, it was like blended. But blended. Yeah, yeah, it was blended. I have an ostrichainus. Fischais blended fischais or something. Where's this eating a fischai? Huh? Ostriches?

Have an egg. So acca or something. Big clow acca, wouldn't it? The ostrich. Would it be? Yeah, because they're like, they're birds, right? But I don't know whether itages have an a. So I call something big. Low-acca wouldn't it? The ostrich would have been. Well, yeah, because they're like their birds, right? But I don't know whether it would have an a. Well, so they claim. So you're not sure if an ostrich is a bird or a. You met an ostrich.

What's that? How much? And it doesn't fly. No, that's true. No, yeah, it's a bloke. In and out. Yeah, it's a bloke in and out. One hole.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're big things. So aren't that massive? Oh, yeah, what holds the emules? Yeah, it's a bloke in an outfit, a lot of holes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They're big things, though, aren't they? They're massive. Oh, yeah, what about holes in emules? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're just small versions. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love those. Have you seen them when people go on stagdots and stuff, particularly like rugby things, where they have the outfits, where they are like the ostrich, so that they are rod hull. And then their legs go into the ostrich so that they are rot hull and then their legs go into the ostrich legs. Yeah, and then it sticks out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's not rot hull. It's the other thing. Ben and Clefton. Yeah, I love those. I've

one of those. Yeah, I think there's such a light. I've seen them so many times, but every time they do make me laugh. Yeah, yeah. It does play that optical illusion every single time. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's good stuff. Yeah, stupid. It does play that optical illusion every single time. Yeah, well, it really does it works. Yeah, stupid. I think you should go on. Is the one who's got Orville? Keith Harris. That's what if you were in the jungle and they lifted up the cloche and it was just Orville's face, and they killed it. Well, it depended what the prize was. Yeah, you would have been all the life it was for something delicious. I might have to. Yeah.

For the team. For the team. Take one for the team. Yeah. And we're very excited because your perfect 10 quiz book is coming out. Yes. 10-14. 10-14.

Set number 14. Yeah. 400 questions in this quiz book. Yes. People can do like 10 a day. It's called Perfect 10 and it started as a podcast in January. It's done really, really well.

And so I wanted, I didn't want it to just be general knowledge and all of that. So we've got like a riddle a day. There's a memory round where we will play something on the podcast and then just ask you a question about what you've just heard. There's a hearsay round, so say what you're here and all of this kind of stuff. And some of the sort of, we call it the three Fs, they're like,

fun questions. So you don't have to have studied the tutors and students at school or Shakespeare or something, boring like that to get the answers. And it really has taken off. So it's 10 questions, 10 answers, all done in 10 minutes on the podcast, which is about long enough, isn't it? Yeah. And everyone goes, I had only got several, and if you get 10, it's like,

Oh, hello, we're spreading down the street today. And this is the book version. So it's all very new, and we've done C and C, or say what you see in this. Thanks for me as well, you know, and then a little bit of information. So it's good and it's a good laugh. And you can write your answers. And it keeps you brain active every day.

And it keeps you going to do a test or something. I'm doing fine. Yeah. I'm prepped that fit. Okay. So, oh, right. So we have a thing called two in two out. So, um, so I give you a word, a spell it out.

You can take two letters out, they will remain in the same position. Yeah. And put two letters back in to make what I'm going to go. Okay. So. You've got a pitch in the word. Which two letters can you change in the word tickets, T-I-C-K-E-T-S, to get a famous Victorian author? Dickens, take the teas, basically. Yeah. And put, D&N. Correct. You see?

Good man, one point to you. I was worried that it was really obvious to think of any Victorian authors. And then by the time... Well, I can only think of one. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I did. Yeah.

I just thought of the only one that I know. Yeah, the main one. So that's kind of, you know, that's fun. Yeah. I'm living. And then... See, I feel great now for the rest of the day. Yeah. Ed feels awful. I feel really bad now, kind of, you know, that's fun. I'm living. And then see, I feel great now for the rest of the day. Ed feels awful. I feel really bad now, come on. To you.

Can you say I was going to do another one? Yeah. Not to it. You're not too good on the words then. No, I'm quite good on the words. Normally, it didn't seem to be that fun. Yeah, good on language. What the floor is.

Yeah, are you good on languages? Well, I like the words, but then we can do another language. OK, we can do another language. We can do a language one. You say you like the ones but then we can do a language. Okay, we can do a language. Why do we do a language? You say you like the words ones but yeah actually the speed loud in the words. Wow, I've won loads of TV shows. I know I'm trying to find you an easy one. Okay, this is a nice one, this is because it's um, Carol lateral thinking we call this. Okay. So this is a bit bit of number work. What will come next in this sequence? Oh no, no, this is a disaster. No, it's not. 10, 20, 40, 80, yeah? Yeah. 160, 320. Do you

know what's happening in that? 640. Well done. Okay. That's good. Thank you. So some of them are not. Yeah, but you gave me an absolute underarm, no, Carol. Thank you very much. It's fine. I need you to use the phase. Do you see what's happening there? It's the day to help him along. And it did help. It did help.

Now, something's happening there. Do you see what's happening? Do you see what's happening there? Edward. We always start the dream meal was still a sparkling water. Well, that's an easy one for me. So because we're going out, it's got to be sparkling. Yeah.

Because it gives you a little sense of occasion, I must say. Yes. And this is honestly what I always order in restaurants. So it's all can have a sparkling water please. And can I have a jug of fresh lime juice? Lovely. Have you ever had it? No, but it's amazing. It is really, really refreshing. That is genuinely what I always have. I'm not

so keen on water though, just it's just a bit bland in it, so you have to have something in it. But the lime juice is really, really good. How much lime juice are you adding to a dish? Well, you have a splash. Yeah. So it sort of clouds the water and it gives it a little taste. And it's very interesting about how much comes in the jug. Yeah. Some people just give you like a little squirt really. Yeah. If only taken half a lime, that's no good.

So I've ordered a big bottle of sparkling water. That's no good. And then others come back with it. It's almost like a milk jug. And they've gone. They've gone in juiced, you know, a thousand limes from Miss Waldemann, you know, and then it comes in this like, Lita cam.

So yeah, it's, I love that you've got a move every time you go into a restaurant is this sparkling water with a jug of fresh lime. That is genuinely what I asked for. Yeah. And it's, and it's lovely. It's really lovely. It refreshes the palate. When I say things like that, you're going to say she's a real foodie. I'm not. I will disappoint you for the next half. And that would be me and my choices. But that would be it. But what I wanted to do was just discuss because the time our dream meal starts will actually determine what it is that I choose. So my favourite meal is a long lunch. It's got to start. You know boring people go,

oh should we go for lunch? Should we go for lunch? Okay, yeah, see you at 12.30 and I'll be gone by two. No. No. What's the point? No. That's like, well, I love a bowl of soup. No. No. No. What's the point? No. That's like, well, I love a bowl of soup. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. However, what I want this dream meal to do, because Richard Whiteley and I, I go just Richard Whiteers, used to go for long lunches. And we held the record when we were in London for quite a few of the longest lunches in various restaurants, including the Woolsey. So you start about 23, minimum of five hours, tending towards the 10 hours. You were rightly. That's not a lunch anymore, isn't that? It's a long lunch. You've tipped into dinner as well. Yeah. No, it's a long lunch.

It's one meal. So then you like space it out a little bit. You say, well, I'll order the next course in about half an hour now. Come back in half an hour and it's amazing because you get to bed at a reasonable time. Yeah. Because if you go out for dinner, you go on what time? Well, let's go out for dinner and yeah, sorry, let's go out for dinner. I don't know. I don't know. I go on dinner. You go out for dinner and go on what time for we, oh, I'll have a cocktail at seven, room to eight. Then if you have six hours, you are wasting the next day, aren't you? You should get like four hours a kit.

And the long lunch, this is what we're having today. What time would you finish filming countdown? So that we always did Cantonese leads. So we filmed three in the afternoon. And then we'd have a tea break. Didn't break, why have you called it? We called it a tea break up there.

And then you do two in the evening. Wow. So there was no time for long lunches while you were filming? No. So that's why we used to make up for it at other times. Yeah. We had a laugh though. I bet.

Yeah, such a laugh. I mean, and because he was the best company. Which, I do. Yeah, that's lovely. Because that doesn't, that, you're not guaranteed that on jobs, are you? When you turn up on the first day and you get on with someone, so I won't go out for lunch. No, because quite a few years to get to that point.

We did it, yeah. But what we have back then, and it's not like, oh, back in the day, but Yorkshire television. So in the studios, so there were like three big, two big studios. And Emma Dale was down the road, you know, and all of this. And there was a Yorkshire tele bar. So you go in the bar and everyone was there. So there was no like grading of whether you were on camera or off camera, whatever. So my, my boys, as I called them, props, props, men, really, my boys would be in there. So you, and then Richard and then Jimmy Tarberk or, you know, people who were doing, I don't know, Alan Bistard, Rick Mail or whoever was

that they used to do a lot of Cotsick comms that they'd record on a, on a Friday night and they'd rehearse on the Thursday. Everyone was in the bar, just everybody Keith Barron, you know, all these like great comedy people. And then you just be having a laugh, you know, and sort of discussing the show and drinking, whatever you were drinking. And it was all contained and happy. And then you went back in the next day and everyone had a good night out, but it was just lovely. Yeah, it was a very special time to be honest, because of course, all of that, you know, the bar stopped and that sort of see why but also sort of see why. You lose some things,

you lose some things. Nice memories for you. Yeah, they're lovely, lovely memories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to, I was in, in those like, later countdown days, I was in a lot of bands around Northampton and we're in Richard Past away. We had a big memorial gig for him and uh, Tootie, yeah, there was a big, because a lot of the, a lot of the people in the bands were, you know, unemployed. So, uh, we were, we were very big with the audience. And there was Julianson, yeah, my friends, the retro spankies released a single that was a tribute to, so yeah, so, umankies released a single that was a tribute to. So yeah, so what was the name of the moon?

The retro spankies. Okay, that's what the band was called. Okay. I love that. It's a very good song. It's probably a nanogram song. It's probably a nanogram song. I thought it was wonderful.

Yeah, you can probably still find that single on Spotify and whatever. I'll look for that. And thank you. Because he was so loved. Oh, yeah. Genuinely, properly, properly loved. And few people are loved that much, you know, because he was all in it boots and all. You know what I mean? We were like, when we did it, it just was a dream.

Like, you know, you obviously have a very special relationship. Yeah. And you don't always have that to you. No, no, no, and you go, oh, I did a lovely show the other night with the XYZ and that and that was great. It's good show, cracking show, but then you have a special thing. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we we chose to do this together, but you were like thrown together, I guess. Yeah, we were. Sorry, I was 21. God, I can't imagine being 21 and married. I've had a few since then beneath it. It was wonderful. I'd Richard used to say, because I was married twice and he'd go, and one of our lines was, and he was married once.

And then got divorced about a year later. And he was used to say, it used to do the local show calendar, which like local news, like London tonight or whatever, on ITV. And you always say yes, and I wore a black tie for a year. I nobody noticed. Ah!

Ah! It was famous for its ties, it was that way of saying that. Famous, and we had, you were saying how big it was with students, because it was on at like 4, 4, 30 in the afternoon, after lectures and so on. And it was 5 million a day who used to come down to that and different times that weren't there any fourth channels. That's the time to go shopping.

Yeah, I'm touching. Right, I should go go shopping, all the supermarkets around here, and count down. That's what it would be. I should go shop anyway, all the supermarkets around the town. And everyone's nanor had taken the telephone off the hook. Don't you dare knock on the door, don't you dare ring me while countdowns on all of that. And it was just this joy and Richard with his ties, so the students came in. In the later years, we would often have an audience of students, like a whole audience, particularly in the evenings, who were younger than the show.

You know, we'd been going 22 years or something and they were all like 80. And then one night they came in and everybody was in like this garish jacket and a beautiful tie, you know, and I'm like, oh, are you doing what you say? I love your tie to go, oh, yeah. We've all come as Richard White later tonight. Because there'd be like just over a hundred in the audience

and they'd all like from leads and leads. And you know, I've got, oh, that's fantastic. And Richard came into the studio. And he was so chuffed. And I said, well, how did you get the outfits? Oh, we all went to our dads and said, can you give me your worst jacket and your worst time? And Richard was like, oh, that's amazing. So we just loved it when people made an effort.

Yeah. And it was a great love, that's the thing. It was just that we're all in the joke together. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Very, very happy time. Yeah, and you're both of you, just a part of people's lives,

because you're on every day. And like the most regular thing that people have. And you're steady. Yeah, and you're a part, both of you just are part of people's lives because you're on every day and every day. Every day. The most regular thing that people have. And you're steady. Yeah. And when something rude came up, that awful one that begins with C U that you see on an N Z M P S, that never happened. I really see that. Yeah, you see that on a meme quite a lot. That never happened. That was some recalculate. We would have had that one. But some did come up. And then we'd have to, I keep a straight face. It was all about keeping a straight face and then, of course, in the early days, you know,

they go, no, cut, cut, cut, you will have to do it again. Oh, really? Yeah, but then if you'd got a six and you'd got a seven, James, then we had to sort of do it so that the scoring was a six. Yeah, of course, if I'd got a six and then James got a seven James, and we had to sort of do it so that the scoring was a six. Yeah, of course, but if I, yeah, if I'd got a six and then James got a rude seven, but it was allowed. Yeah, then we had to re-record it, but give you a different seven to say. Yeah.

Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Because we couldn't have a rude word. Is that in your perfect 10 quiz, because the CPU is rude word? No, rude word. I've not even that. No, rude word can't done happened in the bar.

After. Pop-a-doms are bred. Pop-a-doms are bred, Kamel-word. Definitely not. Pop-a-doms, because they are just like congealed dust. I don't think we've ever had them described as congealed dust. They are, but one thing is in the world, isn't it? Is it, well, the dust what we all are. Duster, duster, duster. Ashes to ashes. No, not pop-no, not pop-adoms because when I do them, so somebody told me that you should get a pile of pop-adoms and punch them.

Yeah. Is that right? Shall I be mother? Yeah. And then they go like bite-sized pieces. Yes. And then you're meant to get a spoon and load the chutney and everything. Well, that's not what I've ever done. So I would like break a bit off,

dip it in the chutney and then it just stays in the chutney. Yeah, that bites off of it. Yeah, yeah. Well, what's the point of that? So would you do that every single time you had pop it on? Yeah, because sometimes it's good to carry on doing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you go, this doesn't, I told you this did work. Yeah. You basically got to make little crisps out of them. I, I find it.

And who's the pop-it-on fan here? I love them. I love them, but I would always, I would choose bread. I would choose bread every time. But James chose pop-it-on once, when we've done our menus. Well, no, I think it gave it a shout out. By the times we did our menus, I chose bread, but they were very specific breads, whereas actually, broadly, I think it gave it a shout out. By the time we did our menus, I chose bread, but they're very specific

breads, whereas actually broadly, you're a pop-a-dom. I would say, I'll, yeah, I'll do it. What do you have on your pop-a-doms, then? Everything. I love line pickle. I like mango chutney. I like the writer. And now I like the writer. I like the onions. Yeah, yeah. I like onions as you will find. It's good. I think it's good to kick off a meal with raw onions just to Prove that it's the end of it. It's the yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're not going out after that a long lunch Well, yes, well, so it would always be bread Yeah, but I never buy bread because it hits my stomach

I'm not very good with bread and And then every now and again, like about every couple of months, I don't know how to call it, because I love bread. So I buy a loaf, you know, one of these, what does artists, artists? Artists, artists, artists. Artists, artists, artists, artists. I don't actually know that. It's such a potsy word.

It is such a mancy word, like homemade fancy. Yeah, it's just fancy in twice the price because of the word. You can add four quid to it basically, I think. Yeah it basically. Yeah. And I fall for it every single time. Even though I know it's a rip off. It's a sucker. But yeah, I'm just a complete sucker. Yeah. But yeah, I look at that sort of thing. Do you insist that it has artisan engraved, yeah, crust? I can understand numbers. I see it doesn't really know how much it is, unless you're there going. And what's next said in the secret scene? No, it's twice as much as the other. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Contact rather than counting out the money. Yes, absolutely. I love contactless. Can't count out the money. Also, I don't like, I didn't like cash and shops anyway when it used to be the main thing when they give you change back and they put the note down and then put the coins on top of the note. Yeah, not that. Hey, so you got to pick that up. Yeah, how you meant to pick that up? Yeah, put the coins in my hand first and then give me the note in my other hand. Yeah.

Why are you putting it on top of the note? Ah, yeah. Otherwise, I've got to do a magician tablecloth trick to try and keep all the coins in the hand. Oh, it's fun news, isn't it? Oh, can we do that at our long lunch? Yeah. At the magician tablecloth trick.

I am crap at it, but I love it. You've tried it. Yeah, many times. You have to do the whole thing. I can do this and everyone goes, no, you can't, no, you can't, no, you can't. I can do it. I'm promising you. I can do it. And then you've persuade them. I think you're doing it all, right? Yeah. Is that you and Richard were banned from loads of restaurants for long lunches because you drive to the magician's house. I think you're doing it all, right? Yeah. Is that you and Richard were banned from loads of restaurants for long lunches because you drive to the magicians and say, I don't do another band as such. Maybe we didn't return. Struggle to get bookings the next time. But it's a good trick. Yeah. It's always entertaining. And let's be fair, if you go on along lunch, you want to leave a memory behind. Yes, okay, or a mess. So at the end of the lunch, you want to do the magician's tablecloth trick.

Carnage, frankly, is underrated. Yes. Yeah, it is. I think Benito agrees. Yeah. You know, people try and keep calm about everything now, and it's like, come on, let's get a bit of wild in here. Yeah, yeah.

And the magician's trick, tablecloth trick, is a very good one. Yeah. Although I would recommend removing the glasses beforehand. But then where's the carnage? Carnage is in the glass. If you've been to a Greek restaurant recently, you know where this match the plates. I'm aware of the the trope, yeah. Yeah, I haven't been for a long time. It's just sort of ignited that. I've never seen them get smashed.

Haven't you? I've been to a Greek restaurant. It should be more plate smashing in the world. Yeah. And not just in great restaurants. Not in any restaurants. Exactly. Wakes you up.

Yeah. Get you three to the next round. And you can enjoy two sets of crockery. Yeah. They're going to bring out another set of crockery for you after you smashed up the first lot. Exactly. Yeah. I think you've got to keep the glasses on the tablecloth.

I think when you start removing stuff, then you're just taking a tablecloth on the table. So I think you've got to have everything. To think I good. Yeah. I think you've got to keep the glasses on the table because I think when you start removing stuff, then you're just taking a tablecloth on the table. So I think you've got to have everything. To think I do. Yeah. You've got to have all of that on the plastic. This is your dream meal though. So you can smash stuff out. Oh, let's do it.

Yes. I see if it's your dream meal. Surely you want to be able to do it properly. I think so. I would save it until after the mains, which we're going to have to negotiate. Okay. And before the dessert, which we we're going to have to negotiate. And before the dessert, which we're also going to have to negotiate. There is a lot of negotiation to be made.

We should get to your start and then in that case, there's two rounds of agreement. So it would be bread and it would have like yellow Welsh butter with like salt crystals on it. Yes, lovely. Any particular Welsh butter that you want to shout out? No. No, lovely. Any particular Welsh butter that you want to shout out? No. No, just Welsh butter as well. Yes, so I'm from a long line of Welsh tenant farmers. Like Tied, as we were saying North Wales, my grandfather, he was agripping North Wales. So all like uncles, step family, everybody's farmers. Yeah. First boyfriend was a chicken farmer, Rick the chick.

What? Rick the chick. Rick the chick. Rick his name was who was a chicken farmer. Yes, yeah. A chicken. So why if he was a chicken farmer, why do people call him Rick the chick? Well, shit.

No, Rick the chick, you have Billy the milk, you have. Yeah. What you have to want to start. For example, He was a chicken farmer, why is he a chicken man? Billy the milk. Because he's the chicken farmer. But then he should have been the chicken farmer. What? No, he's not a chicken. He can't say that. That makes me think chicken short, chicken short for chicken farmer.

That makes me think he's going to be a chicken. Ricking the chicken farmer. Yeah. Ricking farmer, the chicken farmer. You have a big call for that? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, the farmer. What is making you think he's a chick? In Wales, it's that a lot of people have the same surname. Yes.

So you have to distinguish, and a lot of people have the same first name. Yeah. So very common name would be like David Jones, for instance. And so, and a lot of people would be that it's like even in you know in our rugby scrum we've got win Jones and Allen win Jones to entirely separate people. That's how normal it is. So you distinguish when the rugby and Allen win the rugby. No you might say the ball. Yeah. Or you might, you know, you'd give it so, so it's like my stepfather was, um, who's my dad, who's Italian, who's Italian prison of war, Italian food, we're coming onto that.

Uh-huh. And he had, uh, diginge. So it was David and they all had the, so diginge would work with my dad. And then there would be, die the spark. Or as you would prefer to call him David the electrician. David the electrician. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not quite the same. Did you have a nickname, Carl?

Yeah, but I'm not telling you. Because that would go viral. Really? ACAS powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm causing our head. I am skinny and ugly, and my hair is red. It's the system.

I'm in great aid, so I'm important. For a while, Laura, I even said you were killed and being a non-veaver. Probably dead. Revealing the stories behind your favorite Canadian content, this is once upon a time in Hollywood North. In our next season, we're turning from the kids in the hall to look at the life and work of Filmmaker. David Cronenberg, a creator of Scanners. Starting September 5th, listen wherever podcasts are heard. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com So your dream starter. Right, this is where we negotiate, right? Because... I didn't know. You said you were negotiating on the main time of the desert, but we're negotiating on the starter as well, are we? So we're negotiating. Well, here's the thing, right? It's on the starter as well that way. So negotiating. Well, here's the thing, right? It's a long lunch. Yes.

So I may put this negotiation in now because the main, which we're going, I don't like main courses. Okay. So if I were going into a restaurant, I'd have two starters. Yeah. But I might also have a side. Oh, yeah, and that's fine. Fine.

So you skip in the main. I would prefer, because we that's fine. Fine. So you're skipping the main? I would prefer, because we're on the long lunch, so we've had the bread that lasts a hour, doesn't it? Because we started tanking it a little bit, so. Well, we'll back them. What are you tanking it with? Yeah, we normally do the drink later, but if you're tanking it, then we can talk about obviously just trying to replicate a whitely lunch.

Yeah, because they were the happiest ones. Yeah. And so, It's not very lucky that we're getting a white lunch on the podcast. Yes. So, he particularly liked white wine. Of course. Where's the question?

I probably prefer a red wine. Yes. So, I would probably go for a red wine, but because I don't actually drink very much at all, what? Not nowadays, I don't. Not nowadays, no. I don't know, not at all.

So at home I have like a little cherry glass of it, that's enough. But anyway, I'm on my dream lunch, so. You're telling me. So now I'm not worrying about the hangover. Yeah. Now we're just. Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

We're not gonna give you a hangover. We're taking that away. So when you arrive at the restaurant and sit down, obviously for a long time. Yeah, we're not going to give you a hangover. We're taking that away. So when you arrive at the restaurant and sit down, obviously for a long time. And now I'm going to the Sparkling Water. Sparkling Water. Because when I was at, do you remember the Davis Street wine bar?

No, no. No, it's in London. And it was great. It was downstairs. And you could be there to like six in the morning. And they always had a live band. And it was owned by a Greek guy called Tony and George and one of the waiters who I saw quite a lot, he always used to come and Tony would go,

oh so, oh so, oh so, you see if you're sitting with him and I go, oh God no, no, no, no, and so this particular waiter would come and go, here is your, oh no, here we go! Like that's a knee-knit, you're going, and here is a glass of water. here is your, oh, there we go, like that's an innuent. And here is a glass of water. Water is your friend for tomorrow. Now, if I have like a glass of wine, I have a glass of water. Yes. You found for tomorrow. I had though that with Oozoo, water's not your friend the next day because apparently Oozoo, this might be one of those myths. Crystalizes in your stomach. Just into it. So it gets you drunk and then crystallizes in your stomach.

And then when you drink water, it basically re-dilutes the oozoo crystals and makes you pissed again. Well, maybe that's why it's so popular. Yeah. It's the drink that keeps on giving. Well, that's interesting. Yeah. Drink it again in your turn.

I'll have to ask my daughter, she's a scientist. I'll ask her about that. Oh, no. My whole theory's going to be blown apart. I don't know if you know it. But in the morning, you can't accept cash in the soup. I don't have a handle cash. Yes, it is royal.

It is royal. So I'm having red wine. So I'm having red wine. With the bread. But the nicest red wine I've ever had. Now this is a proper name drop he think now was I was in America And I was on a date with my astronaut I thought that America was the name drop

Oh They get films before us They get films before us. Yeah, and it was a cracking night and we had a margo, and which is very expensive for Edwine, and I remember that guy was good, so it's got to be a margo. Because things that you like remind you of stuff, don't they? Yeah, that's how you do it.

And that's when you... It's like, you know, if somebody's mentioned a name of someone, you know whether you like them, how your face reacts, because you go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you talk about it, you've got nothing but joy and stories. And then there are other people who go, you know what I mean? We'll be looking out for that face later. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, we mentioned Joel earlier. I love Lee Botley out, when we mentioned Joel earlier. Yeah. Ah! I'm just kidding. I love Lee Botley out. Botl of Margot. A Botl of Margot. So we're having that now. Lovely, so that's from your tank in it. Your tank in it.

And now the starters are coming. And now the starters are coming. So I have... Do you want the astronaut wibbies? Yes, he can be there. I'll stop you being here. He can be there. Scollops.

I love scallops. Now I know you were discussing them, weren't there a row bit? Yes. The other week. I would eat. I would. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Good. Well, I don't have to really, don't you? Well, you know, if it's there, I'll eat it, but some places cut them off before they cook the scallops, right? I just sort of understand that, but I like the whole thing and I like it, you know, in that very 70s way when it's in the shell. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I like the whole thing and I like it, you know, in that very 70s way when it's in the shell. I like that.

It's nice because then if it's cooked in like garlic butter or something, then it's exactly. A little pool of garlic butter in the bottom of the shell. That's just good news. And onions. Yeah. And you want onions there as well? I could have onions with everything.

Yeah. I don't eat enough onions. I should eat more onions. Yeah. But when I was thinking about this, so like fried or whatever people't eat enough onions. I should eat more onions. When I was thinking about this, so like fried or whatever people call it onions. Fried onions? Should I? Caramelized onions? That one? Very nice. The crispy onions. Yeah. Yeah. The garlics, I don't really eat enough garlic because of the obvious reasons. And butter. So this is my dream meal. Yeah. And that and I am the slowest eater in the world.

Right. Well, 10 hour lunches. Yes. And the only person slower than me is my son Cameron, who lives with me is 26 now, Cam. And so he is even slower than me. But I am the slowest, I will always, if we all went out, including Ubeneito, I will be the

slowest person. But I finish it that might take me twice as long as everyone else. The people coming on it, if we get frustrated. A little bit sometimes. Tough. I'm the waiter will always come and go, I don't know. Just because everyone else is finished, just being I have. Hands off. So you want the scallops in the shell. How many scallops? I would say three, which take me through about another hour. And I'm garlicy butter and some and you need things. An hour to eat three scallops. Wow. There's much to discuss. Sure, but that's three mouthfuls in it. That's pop pop pop.

Yeah, I was just thinking maybe if I put, if the three shells went on top of a survey yet on top of the plate, I could rehearse my magician's trick in miniature. So this is really this whole meal is just now building up to this magician's trick, isn't it? A meal is a form of entertainment. Yes. Absolutely. So other people get like, oh, picking about the food. I'm not really picking about food. is this magician's trick, isn't it? A meal is a form of entertainment, is it not? Absolutely. So other people get like, oh, picking about the food, I'm not really picking about food. I should say that.

Yeah, I say that at the top of the podcast. So, yeah, so I'm not a foodie. Yeah. It's a form of social entertainment. Yeah, not social aspect of it. A meal more than the food. Every time. Yeah.

Every single time. Would you or do you go out to die alone, ever? No, not unless, you know, you're going up to work somewhere in the hotel, yeah, some like that. But I don't enjoy that. Do you think would it be as long a meal if you were by yourself, no, is from? Probably only be about three hours.

Yeah. Because I can entertain myself quite happily. Yeah. Yeah. So this, I want to know more now about the practice for the, for the trip. Well, I've only just thought about that. It's a good idea. It is.

Are you doing it when the scallops are still in the shell or are you just going to do the shells after? No, I've finished. And then I go, I've finished now. Yeah. James, I've finished now. Yeah. And then I've just got a little thing because I'm building, I've got something to show you,

which is magnificent later after the main course. And then I'd say, right, watch this, count to three. One, two, three. Woo! And all the shells remain on the plate or not. Have they got the garlic butter? Have they got the garlic butter within them still? Well, it depends where they remain. Yeah, so it could be if there's pools of the garlic butter in there, that's all right for me. Yeah.

I like that you're allowing yourself one of two options of, they're the shells remain or not, or they could be on the floor. Or not, the butter may have flown in different directions. But you know, that's another thing. Like if you go out from me and people sort of worry, don't they? Like, oh, I've got to stay in on here. I don't worry about things. Stains.

But to Richard, so there was one very long lunch and then we went to Joe Allen's at the end of it you know in Covent Garden underground just the late night. Lovely. You know where I'm at. No but that sounds like it's starting underground. The theatre's a post show hangout place so all the actors go out. Yeah all the actors after the theatre go down there and everything and anywhere you went down there one night after a very long lunch, who turned up but Bianca Jagger?

So she came to sit with her. Like she came to sit with her. Not often we get celebrity anecdotes of this quality camera. Like, I was like, no, I would say. So we are now at Magician's Trick Time, right? So Bianca Jagger comes over and she's sitting down and she is like the most exquisitely beautiful woman you've ever seen.

Every single thing about Bianca is perfectly formed and all her clothes look magnificent and all of that. There's me sobbing out, there's white me and he's got an egg yolk stained. And his tie. Are you sure that wasn't a design of the tie? Yeah, I could have been. No, I could have been. And so Bianca says in her beautiful accent, which I can't do very well, and she said, Oh, Richard, do you have for this thing? And she said, you should take this tie and change your tie. You know, you said, no Bianca, this is part of me now. You know,

and the last thing I saw was, so another friend of ours was that, cool, cool. So she said, oh, I'll give Richard a lift back to his hotel, because I was staying somewhere else. It was like three in the morning, drew a relaying completely empty. And I'm waving off, co-driving a Honda Civic with Bianca Jagger and Richard Wightley in the back. See, it was just, I love things like that. The, initially, you said long lunches were good because you get to bed at a normal time. Well, I know. Yeah, free of the morning.

Party would be antero. You have to go with the moon. You do, you have to go with the flow. Yeah, I do. I don't think people go with a flow enough now. Really? No, I don't think so. I think people are staying up till three o'clock still.

Yeah. We've had some good long lunches. we've had some good long lunches. We've had some good long lunches. As we go with the flow. So then main course is going to be another start, is that right? Yeah. Okay.

And how quick, so you finished the scallops after an hour? Yeah. Do you then want the next starter straight away or do you want to relax drinks and more? Again after an hour. Yeah. Do you then want the next starter straight away? Or do you want to relax drinks and wine? Again, it depends. Yeah. So if other people want their main course before I have my next starter, that's fine.

Yeah. Because they take longer on the main course. Yeah. So I'm very happy with that. Yeah. Just go out and we have a good laugh. So we have our gays and girls lances or used to. Yeah.

They were long lances. So that's like Gork, Alan Carr, Puller Grady, Paul, a verse of the Ammi and Sally Lindsay. They would be like 12 hours. They'd be hilarious. Everyone on the table can talk. Yeah, literally. Yeah, literally.

And then when we moved away from the restaurant, you know, after about five hours, sometimes they actually kicked us out and then we go to, you know, wherever, just got messy but very funny. What a great game. That is amazing. What a brilliant game. There's a lovely gang. So that's why I favor all of that. So we're moving on to my starts. You're having your main, what would you be having by this time? I'm having treats of broccoli pasta. Are you? Every time?

Yeah, yeah, every time. I'll probably have like a massive steak that's supposed to be for two people. Do you eat a huge steak? I could do that, yeah, yeah, yeah. I cook them in my home sometime. Does it sit near to me? Yeah, that's the way it likes about. They do some more uneasiness again.

Do you have like two stomachs like a cow or just cow have four? I'm doing a barbecue at home like I buy like massive steaks and then Fedafinn. And then you sit there, but do you go? Because sometimes you know all the blood then rush you just do stomach, doesn't it? Yeah. You know, you like, that doesn't work well, does it on podcast when you just do that. You can look. Yes.

Well, if I'm at home, that's fine, because that's the look I do at home anyway. Is it? So I just went, I just go and sit on the sofa. But if I'm preparing a big steak for me and my wife, she likes steaks. Yeah. But I'll do like two massive steaks on the barbecue,

like slice them up, present them on a big serving dish, which is key because then you can get more than one steak. I thought it could be that it's all one big. And she just has like, she just takes her time with it. Like a little quarter and that three quarters off two steaks. Yeah, but she assumes she's got a whole one because she's taking, she's taking ages on hers. That is clever.

Yeah, that is clever. So I am going for the big prawns that they're like butterfly chopped. Yeah. And then they spread out like that. And onions. Yeah. Well, I'm allowed to side if I only have one starter. I reckon if you're not having a main course,

you can have two starters and two sides. Yeah. Two starters and two sets. So two starters in total and two sides. Yeah, you've got the scallops and the prawns. And I'm happy about that. Because sometimes in a hotel, I don't order a main course. I just order the sides because I prefer the sides to be. Yeah.

So my sides are the lovely tomatoes and red onion. Lovely tomatoes. Yeah. And the other one is a divided one so it's got a mashed potato and my favourite vegetable of all time, which one socto becomes every single day. What is that vegetable? Okay, is this in the book? Is this in the quiz book? Um, why? One October comes. And then... Not some out squash? No, nothing fancy, nothing fancy.

Least. Well, getting close, sprouts. Sprouts, sprouts. Yes. King. And Queen and Baby. Yeah. Of vegetables.

The three. The three daddies. So I often, I will often buy. I will buy a bag of sprout today. Sorry, Carol, you just hit on the thing that will make us laugh the absolute most. I don't know why that's so funny. Sprouts. No, but King, King, Queen, or baby, King Queen and baby of the vegetable world.

It was very funny. Like it's a phrase that already exists. Yeah. I've never got another baby or the vegetable world. Like, recently, I've been like, the film director William Friedkin died. He made the exercise system French connection. I've been watching loads of interviews with him. And he says stuff that sounds like it's a phrase, but no one's ever said it before. Yeah. And one is that he went off on like, you know, he started off with a familiar place where he was like, he said, he said, fuck them. And the horse they rode

it on. And then he added, and the ship that bought him here and a dog that walks behind it. And I kept it. And at the other time, he was asked, so it was like, oh, Al Pacino said he didn't like the changes he made to his character and the interrupt of the most saying, I don't give a fly and fuck into a rolled-in doughnut. What? Oh, I'm so excited. I'm just kidding.

All right. But yeah, so stuff that sounds like a phrase, but it's not there. And so they're the King, queen, and baby of this. Great. We're going to use that. Yeah. So at most, how do you like your sprouts prepared? Well, what I normally do at home is I buy them already trimmed.

Yeah. And they come in a little plastic bag, don't they? Yeah. So then I pierce the plastic bag, put it in the microwave for three minutes. Do you like what I've just said? Yeah, and they're gorgeous. So you don't have all the water interference. Yes. Okay. When you're bought, you know, when you steam them, a lot of that. And obviously you can roast them as well, which I often do.

But if it was for this, I would go with the steamed microwaved. It's not microwaved as well. Quite simple, yeah, with black pepper, salt, I do like salt. Yeah, it's bad for you. No, it's all right. And butter, I'm going heavy on the butter today. Well, butter on the sprouts as well. So how are you doing? So you're putting them in, you're piercing the bag, putting in microwave, and then I guess you're taking them out, and then salt and pepper and butter after they'veing cut. Well not to see, yes after microwave. After this intense cooking escapade, I really hate cooking, I had to do it from the age of 10, I had to do tea as we call it every night. My dad would come in at course at 6 and the tea

had to be on the table and the days when we all had sliced bread and butter you know, chopped up and if it wash, you do it like a triangle rather than that. But you had to slice it. It was really so good at cutting bread and butter. And like lace doilys, you know, you could hold it up. So I cooked all those years. And then when the kids were older, I just thought, oh, it's that bloody eight cooking. I really don't like it. I did win star baker apron though. I can cook. I can cook. I can cook. Don't want to cook.

That's me. You bring out bad memories for James. The worst celebrity back off appearance of all time. Did you? Did you come last? Well, they don't make that official, but it was implied. But you did. Yeah, it was implied.

You tell. No. What's your show stopper? Well, I made it because you parked out of my rangs. Yeah. I mean, they were all show stoppers in a way as they should have stopped the show. Was it that bad, James? Pretty bad. Was it?

Yeah, yes. That's wonderful. And mine was fine. So we've got the phone gamut here for like, yeah, I should have worn it. I should have worn my style. Yeah, you'd know what I mean, amazing. Could I tell you about my show stopper? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go on, go on. Let me hear about it. I was have worn my style. Yeah, you would have wanted me to be amazing. Could I tell you about my show stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, go on, go on. Let me hear about it. I was wondering. My show stuff, it was all about your favourite bit of leisure time, relaxing time. So of course, everyone goes, oh, bath, you have a glass of champagne in the bath,

I thought, that is what I would do. But I wanted to think of something different about proper leisure time. So I made a cake like the size of a bath, big bath, but so that was the cake rather than the little one. And then I put fondant icing all the way through like a roll top bath and all of that. And then the champagne, everyone else is boring goes, oh well I bought this, I sing that stunning champagne. Oh no! So I got Rob Rinter to that's done in a champagne. Oh, no.

So I got Rob Rinter to strip a can and a Barbie. I put Ken and Barbie in the bath. And then you had to pour a bottle of champagne into the bath and drink it out straws before you're allowed to eat the cake. That's good. See? Was Rob Rinter on the show with us? Yeah, yeah.

Because it sounded like... It sounded like... Well, we need to get Robb Rinder to strip a pen book because he's a guy who does that for me. He's a guy who would strip a kettle of barb and to be fair, yeah, that would make sense. I've met Robb Rinder. I'm sure he would happily strip a kettle of barb before me. He would strip a kettle of barb before me and then what you had to and then you had to drink the champagne because it's like a party. Yeah, yeah. Drink the champagne and everyone's involved out of your stores and then you chop the cake and by that time the champagne has kind of gone

through the fund and I think taking a lot of the sugar through and then it's not a dry cake is quite moist. Wow. Did you come up with that yourself? I mean that deserves star baby. I was nowhere near any of that. If I'm honest, I'll be completely honest. Yes. We haven't heard much about the prawns. We've moved on to the... Well, I like the ones. You know when they sit when you're in Indian and they go, you can have like a normal prawn or you can have like a big fat prawn. Pandori? I do not know what word you want to play. I'm sorry, but anything, when you say it for the talk, you go, it's a fucking f-off dress. Big f-off braw. And they say that to you in the Indian restaurant or they you can have a normal pool. You can have a big fat fuck off, bro. Give everyone knows what that means, don't they?

You know what you know I mean. The one that we've done to it. Well, eventually we got down to what it was. Is it is it off brand? I think it's very, I think that is very expressive. Yes, I don't want to. Everyone knows what that is. Yeah, it's like King the Queen, the baby of prawns.

Is it to people use that phrase, if you don't mind, if you're willing to? No, no, no, the fuck off, a big, fat, fuck off prawn. Well, I do. Because, no, I know people use it, but use it to describe size, but is that because when you see it, it's so big, you go, fuck off. Is that why? No, because it's, it's a fond form of that words. And there's a big difference between scowly version or a happy version. Oh, God. No, not like that. It's like, oh, yeah. Like that.

It's like a little bit. What I love about this is that you've introduced this phrase into the conversation. But I don't like it. I'm telling you. You can swell this podcast. But if you put'm telling you, you can swell this podcast. But you don't want to do that. But if you put your fan base, it would not like it. No, it's not that.

I don't like it. Tom O'Connor, do you remember Tom O'Connor? Yes. Tom O'Connor. Lovely Tom O'Connor. So Tom used to be on countdown all the time in dictionary. And he always used to go, ew, like that. Because he could go, so he said this story.

So he went to his bed, he would go, he went to a do, I'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r fantastic and so he was like all dead white and I had a foothold skit. So every time which I thought was brilliant description. Yeah, we all know what that means. Yeah, yeah, also, that's just the description of a wedding dress. So every time Tom came in, he just used to do the thing with his hands, he's going from his good ear and a foothold. So every time I think of it, I think of it.

I love Scouts. Oh, it's funny. Yeah, I love that. Oh, I was going to tell you a story about Scouts. No, that's probably very weird. Can't tell that one. Is that the story part you got in it, name? No, I'm not.

That was a leads. I want to get this nickname out of you. Well, you're not going to. I don't feel like you are. No, I don't think it is either. Yeah. Somehow. So, just to recap, we'll recap all at the end,

I guess, but it's a bit. Oh, I got funny, funny, funny scous story. Yes, please. Yeah. Okay. Really funny. It's got last time I went up there. So you got to understand I grew up in North Wales, that bit of strip of North Wales that's, you know, a third scous really. Yeah. Real. I went to school in normal. Oh, man. I don't know. I'm a bad kid there. Did you? They destroyed me man I look at a bad gig there did you they destroyed me really yeah I support in Milton Jones they absolutely destroyed me did they they called me to high heaven yeah they didn't did they oh yeah they

showed me you've never been back I've never been back I understand so Liverpool is up the road so you go to Liverpool for my album all that time last time I went I went to a big do it's Jamie Carregor and it was to raise money for, I think it was for local hospice, could have been a hospice, but anyway it was this big gig at the Titanic hotel, have you been there? It's stunning. So about 500 people have paid money, Rod Stewart was there, Pixie Lock was singing, so not a huge venue, but a lot of people, so Rob was on the next table. I'll have no need for that. Anyway, part of the thing is you go, don't you, and then you go from tables to tables and you have

selfies and all of that, and everyone's going, oh, come it, come it, come it, it's kind of, we love Ford, you know, and all of this, I absolutely loved it. So we'll go round, round, round, round, round, round, night's getting longer and longer. I'm having a great time. I don't know, go to the set and this one goes, ew, carol, come at, come at, air is Ford does, she's going to the tape. It says, come here, come, come here. So I'm going there and we're like, oh, I'm in arm, me and this woman. And she goes, see you in there. And she pointed to this, like on the table, it was like, I don't know, in your 30s. She said, you've been in his wank bank for six years, can you have a selfie?

I mean, there's a lot of, I mean, I was going to say there's a lot of questions we can ask about that story, but I don't think we will. Nothing we don't. I feel all you know the answer to. It's a classic. It's a classic. It's a classic. Six years is very specific.

Yeah. Anyway, did half of self-intold him not to laminate it. Right. Well, it doesn't need to. It's obviously. We go. That's life. That's life.

That's life. That's life. That's life. That's life. That's life. That's life. That's life. That's life. Anyway, that's life. No one else is life. I told, I told, I told when OpenTold Roddy said, I've got to go over and shake his hand. I said, I wouldn't. The dream drink. If we haven't put you off, I mean, I've done it. The Marco. So you've got all the white fruit. Yeah, you can have that through. But if you want another drink, do you switch it up ever?

Well, I would drink champagne. Bollinger is my. Well, give you a bottle of barley. Thank you. Oh, thank you. We'll sling that on there. Thank you. No problem.

Well, I mean, we're kind of at the dessert, even though it's been a rollercoaster ride. Yes, been very. But you promised us more negotiations here. Yes. So. I am not going to say happily for you cheese board. Thank you so much. Because I don't like cheese. No idea. I would eat it about once a year, Davichi's board. Yeah. Because I can't think of anything else. Yeah. But I'm also not into puddings. OK. So this is the negotiation, because long lunch. So we started around 2 to 30-ish.

No, that's not right. So now we're at about 6. Yeah. So I would go for a sort of very specific afternoon tea with, because I live in Bristol, and I've seen them serve afternoon tea with dry ice on it. So it's like, you know, when they, what's they call it when it's on like different levels? Yeah, yeah, they're like a kid. Yeah, I know you're tired. Yeah, yeah. And then they put dry ice in all sort of tumble. Yeah. Again, it's about the performance of the food. Yeah, that's and then they put dry ice and all sort of tumble. Yeah again, it's about the performance

So I was thinking then I could have a little mini this and mini that Because I'm not into puddings and I don't really understand why people need puddings Yeah, and you know, I don't know But you're picking an afternoon tea which presumably has like multiple different cakes I'm taking the sandwiches away So that's exactly the point. So there'd be like a little thing. You know that you buy marxies for Christmas.

Yeah. And you have 12 like little chocolate flakjacks or something like that. You put some of those on there. It's that. Yeah. So that then you can make it last a couple of hours and I could be kind and offer you my tiered thing with the dry ice. And I would accept that in the tasting.

Yeah. So I think on it invitation. You would wouldn't do it. So I think on it, they're all little mini ones. I'd have an eaten mess type of thing. I like that. A little trifle. I love trifles. A little trifle. Yeah, I do like a trifle.

I used to be really good at trifles. Well, you must understand why people eat desserts if you like a trifle. Well, yeah, but they get you go, oh, I'll have a pudding and then you have one thing. Yeah. That's what I don't understand. Right, but you like dessert because you're picking.

I'm more often than not, I wouldn't have one. You are in the process of picking about five different desserts because things are going to be great. Yes, I am, but they're more tastes. Yes, little tastes. Little tastes. But when you describe how much you like a trifle, you close your eyes, you're like, yeah, I do.

I do like a trifle. I used to make trifles all the time on a Sunday, back in my day. I was going to tell you about my stepfather. So he was a prisoner of war, Italian prisoner of war. So my father was in the world world war two in the Dutch resistance, Borderman. Anyway, they split up. And then and when I was about nine, my memory married in North Wales. My dad, I called him and I loved him and he swore. Every third word he swore and he was like, oh, don't eat it all off all the time.

And his name was Gabrielle Ritz. I called him my dad and my stepfather. So every Friday we'd cook Italian food and back in the 70s. You know, the only olive oil you could buy was from boots chemist. And that was you warmed it up on a teaspoon, poured it in your ear to get rid of the wax. That was it. Otherwise, it was like vegetable oil and butter is what people would cook with. But my dad on a Friday night, he'd get

tomatoes pure as he called it, tomato puree. Because people can't buy that, but he went to Italy every year and brought back like gallons of olive oil and Italian food. And so he gets steak, bash it with the hammer, and I would help him all the time on a Friday, because I cooked through the week, and then Friday was Italian night. Bash, bash, bash, bash, bash, bash, bash, bash, and then we had proper parmesan,

not stuff that he had in a dry tube that's not like sick, not like that, it's like proper grated parmesan, bread crumbs, just saved the bread from the week before and then crumb it all, and then mix it all up, beat an egg, and then so it's flattened steak, and then it's just put it like millenase, and then you put it in the egg, and then put it in this fresh bread crumbs and parmesan, and then we fry it in olive oil. And then at the same time chop a lot peppers up and then put it in this sort of came almost sludgy really but it was so tasty, of tomato puree and olive oil. And it just used to sit on the arga cucka that it found in a house that he was doing

at the party and looked at it and that was just bliss. Yeah, it was like Friday night, it was just doing that. And that was just bliss. And that was like Friday night. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it was. And there was something lovely about you had the same thing on a Monday. Every Monday had the same thing. Every Tuesday had the same thing. And of course, you always back then, because it wasn't processed food. You had to cook it from fresh. Now everyone go, do I cook from fresh? Well, you had to then. Yeah. Yeah. So he was brilliant. There's something quite Italian about these long lunches that you like. I feel quite Mediterranean. Yeah, and sort of just chilled, rather than being fussy about,

oh, and have we had, you know, have they served us properly and all of that? It's just dig in. Yeah. And with these desserts, you've got the trifle you've got the E-times. E-times. Yeah, lemma morang are like as well. Lemma morang are like. Yeah. One of those little chocolate flab jacks from M&S. No, I'm not keen on chocolate really. No. No, I'm cheap to keep, you see. You're cheap to keep? I am very cheap to keep. I do like a bit of ice cream. And I do like lemony stuff. And then I said to Jules, my friend who I was telling you about earlier because she's disappointed you can't be here and she said I got to choose food that she

likes and I said no. But I said that I would allow on the afternoon tea tiered thing. She's allowed to come for this. A Viennese world dipped in chocolate. But I would eat it. But she's weird. She likes things like that. So yeah. She got a nickname. Jules. Jules. Jules. Jules. Jules.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think this, I was really scared for a bit there. We weren't going to get a dessert. No, it was going to be another. I thought you were eating all the way food to dinner and having another meal. And I was going to not see any puddings here, but. No.

Do you like pudding? I love pudding. He loves it. Sweet tooth. Yeah. I actually really, I think I'd go for something more like what you've picked, like little taste of things. Taste. Yeah.

Or two. But we'd have to have, you know, you want that performance again, don't you? So the two, whoever's waiting, you know, is ever serving, I could offer you James, and you could have a selection, but before that we have to have more dry ice. When the dry ice? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll keep you stocked up on dry ice, don't worry.

Which would you, as the G-E-N-E? Yeah, yeah, yeah, fully stocked up on the dry ice. Marvelous. Maybe I'll have to say more when you do the tables off-trick. Now, does the dry ice not sort of trigger memories of stars in their ice? When they bring the dessert over? Well, then, yeah, well it might cheer me into the song. That's why if I may. Yeah. That's why the dessert is to share. Oh, I'm just saying what you did. It's good, right? It's just good stuff. Genius. Absolute genius from this. You can just cut that out.

Retro spanky. Retro spankies. You could have cut that out. Retro-spankies. Retro-spankies. You guys, yes. You could have a retro-spanky put in, couldn't you? Retro-spank, I'll have a retro-spanky place. That guy calls it when he watches old episodes of I'm Celebrity. Hopefully, I got access to retro-spank banquets. I'll hope I remember my pin number. Well, the pin number. Well, the pin number for the retroSpankback is one big one of five's born.

You're very naughty. Mine was an innocent tale. Carol, what? What are you talking about? It isn't. It was funny. It was. No, we laughed a lot, but no, it isn't. Tail, is that the phrase you put in this

bank bank for such a year? I know. Can I have a selfie? You said it at the beginning to be fair. Don't you don't have to be polite with me? I did. Yeah. I maintain that. Yeah. I'm going to read your bag to you now. Tell you feel about it. Okay, go on. So this is a long lunch. Long lunch. You would like sparkling more with a jug of fresh lime juice. Correct. And you want margo red wine from the beginning. You're tanking. I think so, yeah.

But I'm not tanking, but, you know, yeah, I like margo, yeah. Populums are bread, you chose bread with yellow, Welsh butter and salt crystals. Start a part one of the starters, free scallops with the low in their shells, with garlic, butter and onions. Yeah. Follow by a mini magician's trick. That's when you're doing the magician's trick. Yeah, that's the one.

I think we made that quite good. Yeah, absolutely. We discussed it for a while. With the shells. Second starter. We ain't really get into this, but big prawns, butterfly, to show up. You can't drop a name.

More like a big fuck off prawns. Thank you. Would you ever have big fuck off butterflies prawned? That's what I want. Yeah, cold up with like prawns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sides, lovely tomatoes and red onions. Correct.

Mushrooms and sprouts, salt and pepper and butter. Sprouts are in the microwave. I love sprouts. I literally, I had some weeks I have like sprouts every night. What? So I will, I've black sprouts, shove it in my crib, and then I'll mix it with a little bit of curry or something like that. Curry and sprout.

Fuck it, I'll go. Fuck it, now. You trying to join the astronaut in space? LAUGHTER I love sprouts. Rich and rich are juiceless sprouts. We were Christmas babies, so it was... I think it's a thing.

That's why I call Sprouts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was babies. That's like the King of Queen. The Christmas babies. So someone who said, you know, eat too much bread

because it really hits your stomach. You know, Sprouts make things very... They're amazing. Yeah, I love Sprouts. I know delicious, but like, you know, I've never met somebody who has Sprouts every night. Sometimes I have an obsession I love sprouts. Delicious, but like, you know, I've never met someone who has sprouts every night, sometimes it would come. I have an obsession with sprouts.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you're getting them here. Drink, obviously you're having them all the way through, but also chucking in a bottle of a bolly here. Yeah, definitely. And then there's a, an afternoon tea, take the sandwiches away, and we've got a mini, eat a mess, mini trifle, lemon meringue, bit of ice cream, fennel's well dipped in chocolate for jewels,

and it's all got dry ice coming out of it, which I'll top up whenever you need. You have to top it up because you're a genius. Yeah, and then we're talking big tablecloth trick at the end. Yes, straight down, it's a bar. And then we're trimmed out the restaurant. Yeah, yeah, then we chuck you well.

But, after the pub. Yeah. So I'm very happy. Yeah, that's a great menu. So I'm very happy. Yeah, that's a great menu. And I love that we've, yeah, we've finally got a long, long lunch on the podcast. Yeah. Perfect.

Yeah. Thank you very much, Carol. Well, thank you, boss. Thank you, Carol. Thank you, boss. And Grina. Well, there we are, James. A fantastic chat and a brilliant menu from Carol Fordham.

An episode for the Wankpank. It was lovely to have Carol in the dream. So I hold my hands up. I don't know what that phrase means. I was pretending when Carol was talking about it, but I'd have to look it up later, what it means. I see this positive. Yeah, it's working.

Yeah. So I'm using it, but I'll look it up later. Yes, okay. Thank you, James. Carol, of course, did not say Alphabetis Baguetti, so she could say, well, within the dream restaurant, and it was lovely to chat to Carol, and her new book, Perfect 10 Quiz Book.

Carol Vordamann's Perfect 10 Quiz Book is out on the 14th of September. Check out the podcast as well. Perfect 10 with Carol Vordamann. Yes, go and check out all of that stuff. Also, if you like books, I've got one coming out in October. Ed Gamble is the name of the author and the book is called Glutton, the multicorselife of a very greedy boy. That will be available everywhere. You get books. You can pre-order now. You can pre-order the audio book, which will be available from all those places.

and now you can pre-order the audio book, which will be available from all those places. I just go and buy it. It's good. It's going to be so good. I know it's going to be good. I'm really looking forward to getting it. Also, if I may, I'm on tour and we've announced new dates for next year and there's still tickets for them. So, you know, if you live in Liverpool, not in Ham and some other places that I can't remember. Yes. Then please come along. If you live in Liverpool and you see there's tickets available, you'll probably go, oh, there's fuck off loads of tickets left. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, it good. That's a back reference something Carol did, by the way, I'm not being offensive. Yes. If you're one of those people who skips to the outro. Skips that goes love the outro. Yeah. I don't know if I have enough. Thank you very much for listening.

Oh, I'm on tour next year. Huh? Ed Gamble hot diggin'y dog. Ed Gamble.co.uk for tickets. Yeah. Going everywhere. Also, massive shout out to Dalesford Organic for sending us a hamper. We once complained that they accidentally sent a hamper to the office, meaning sent it

to someone else. And we loved all the look of the stuff in there, but we had to give it back to the people who actually deserved it. Well, that worked. Yes. And now we've got a hamper. Can't believe it's happened. We've been divvying it up between, uh, between records today. Yes. It looks like, uh, Ed's got the canolies and I've got the flint deans. Well, I've got one pack of canolies and then I'm perfectly happy to give Benito a pack of canollies. Yeah, yeah. Because when you say divvying up, what happened is Benito left the room and then we

really started raiding it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We started. I gave him a cheese as well. Oh, that's nice of you. But I shouldn't really be eating cheese. No, I shouldn't have cheese at home because I'll eat it like an apple or like a hand fruit.

Yeah. So, um, do you have some more cheese, Benito? I imagine you're hoping that you said no though. Yeah, you want the cheese, I'll tell you the cheese time and go, oh we were given this and it would be such a waste. Chop it up, put it in the fruit salad. Thanks for listening. Bye!

I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy.

I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm a crazy guy. I'm in grade 8, so I'm important. Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh of Scanneries. Starting September 5th, listen wherever podcasts are heard. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Hello, I'm Sarah Pasco and I'm Carrie Adloid. You might remember us from the peak of our careers

appearing on the excellent Off Menu podcast. It's the greatest we've ever felt and we know we'll never achieve that again. But if you remember those episodes and enjoyed what we did, you might be a fan of our book choices and our new comedy podcast, Sarah and Carrie ads, Weirdo's Book Club. Imagine us not talking about food but talking about books, but with the comedians you know from Off Menu, like Nish Kumar, and careered Weirdo's Book Club. Imagine us not talking about food, but talking about books. But with the comedians you know from off menu, like Nish Kumar, John Kern, Sopie Jooka, and more. We're not copying them, we're doing our own thing.

It's totally different. It's about books. It's about books. There's no genies involved. It's a space for the lonely outsider to feel accepted and appreciated. Just like James A. Custer's bedroom. Ew.

A place for the person who'd like to be in a real book club but doesn't like wine or nibbles. You can read along, share your opinions, or just skull-corrown to your raincoat Oh! A place for the first nude luxury in the real book club, but doesn't like wine or nibbles. You can read along, share your opinions, or just scroll around in your raincoat like the weirdo you are. Thank you for reading with us. We like reading with you. We're ending one as well.