Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 217: Ross Noble (Christmas Special)

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

To round of our festive specials, comedy hero Ross Noble is let loose in the Dream Restaurant. Ross Noble is on tour in early 2024 with ‘Jibber Jabber Jamboree’. For dates and tickets visit rossnoble.com Ross’s special ‘Humournoid’ is also available from his website. Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings off menu listeners, James A. Castor here, just letting you know that my new audio sitcom Springleaf is out now. Wherever you get your podcasts, it's got loads of amazing stars in it, and I'm very excited. It tells the story of Pat Springleaf, the undercover cop who went undercover into the comedy industry as James A. Castor, the stand-up comedian, who we're talking layers. And your friend Ed Gamble might even pop up for a line or two, who's to say? Springleaf, wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to it please! ACAS powers the world's best podcast.

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the history and legacy of the professional native Indian artist, Inc. Listen wherever podcasts are heard. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Today's episode of the Off-Menu podcast is sponsored by Audible James. That's very exciting Ed. Hey Ed. Yes. Ignite your imagination. What does that mean to you? Ignite your imagination makes me think of premium audio content, audio books, podcasts and originals all available. Would you know it from audible? When you visit audible ads, they're endless ways to ignite your imagination. With over 750,000 titles, including bestsellers, there's a listen for every type of listener.

I want to discover all the best in audiobooks, podcasts and originals, featuring authentic Canadian voices and celebrity talent. You know the most authentic Canadian voice I love unordable? It's the book Glutton by Ed Gamble, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. That's right. It's a very, very Canadian. It's an authentic voice. You know what I love, James? I love your books. That very Canadian. Yeah, your last one is too long of a title, but I loved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't remember what it's called now. Good stuff. Also, there's new audible Canadian originals. The downloaded, which is a sci-fi adventure, and that features Brendan Fraser and Luke Kirby. And of course, don't forget the Missile Tomerder's two

James, it's Kozy Mystery, and it features Kobe Smolders. trial at audible.ca. Happy Christmas and welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, taking the mint meat of conversation, putting them into the pie cases of the internet, baking them in the oven, I guess. Yeah, bake them in the oven of humor. It's like a mint pie, but it's a podcast. I'm just excited. It's Christmas James. I've not thought it through. Oh, ho, ho, that said, gamble. My name is James A. Castor. Together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a guest and we ask them the favour ever start and main cause does a side dish and drink not in that order and this week our Christmas guest is Ross noble Ross noble I mean we're very excited to have

Ross on with both huge fans huge fans from back in the day right up until today. Yes I mean and moving forward in pretty much every interview you do as a comedian, you get asked what comedians you're a fan of that major, want to do comedy. Los Noble is one of my answers every single time. He knows that. Yeah. I've told him that. So he only knows that on his on his way here at the moment.

Yeah. So very excited to be interviewing Los Noble. That would point me moments on the podcast where I just don't speak for a while because I'm speaking like this is cool. This is cool. I could tell my 18 year old self that this would happen to me. I've been pretty chuffed with this life. Yeah, there'll be a lot of that. I think Russ was that guy for a lot of our generation of comics. Yes, very much so. And as a result, you know, we know a lot about his routines in the past. Yes. We know if any food gets mentioned in the routine, if any shows are named after foods, so it's quite easy to choose the secret ingredient for this episode.

And ingredient, which if for us says it, we will kick him out of the dream restaurant. We will. And the secret ingredient this week is noodles. Noodles, he did a tour show called Noodle Meister. Yeah, it was called. I believe it was called I won't see it. Yeah, yeah, you won't just see itister. I believe it was called. I believe it was called. I won't see it. Yeah, yeah, you'll just see it. I won't see it.

Don't be head like you believe it was called it. Noodle Meister. I believe it because it's true. It's a pretty broad, we spread than that a bit wide there. Normally, secret ingredient might be something very specific. This is a whole food stuff. Yeah. But this is lost noble.

So I've never seen lost on anything, talk for anything about, for a short amount of time. Yes, it's going to be a long episode. So I think if noodles does come up, yeah, we'll have already got a whole episode, even if it's just we've done the water course, we've done pop it up, so bread, that will most likely be. If he has noodles for starter, that's fine. It'll be fine. Yeah. It will still get a full episode out of this. So, you know, we're pretty confident we can do something as broad as noodles for starter. That's fine. It'll be fine. Yeah. It was still a full episode out of this. So, you know, we're pretty confident we can do something as broad as noodles for this. Yes. Russ is on tour as well. We should say doing his new show, Jibba Jamba Jamba Rhee. Jibba Jamba Jamba Rhee is on tour right through till 2024, 17th March, 2024. So he's going all

over the place. You must go and see him, including if you're a London person, London, palladium, 14th and 15th of March. Also, excitingly, Ross has recorded his last show, Humanoid, and that is available for purchase on his website, RossNobal.com. Very exciting. Yes. I mean, yeah, I got a lot of RossNobal DVDs at home, so it would be nice to have something that doesn't take up shelf space. Take up shelf space. My DVDs, man. I've got to sell them at some point.

Yeah. I've got so many DVDs still. It's mad. To people by DVDs? I bet some people are about to sell them to some people. Yeah, niche. Niche, niche, or buy. Oh, yes, that's a good point.

Merry Christmas, Niche. And this is a Christmas episode. Merry Christmas Nish. And this is a Christmas episode of course. Yes. So we will be asking loss. What is dream Christmas meal is as well? Yes we will. Very excited to speak to Russ Noble. And this is the off menu menu of Russ Noble. Welcome Russ to the Dream Restaurants. Thanks. Welcome, Ross Noble. Tell the Dream Western, we'll be expecting you for some time.

It's nice to be here. Right, quick question. Before we start, right, on the Genie thing. Yes. Right. Are you a genie with legs? Or are you a genie with... You know how the ones that have got the just the

wispy bit? Wispy, yeah, the wispy. Are you a wispy genie? Yeah. And I'm not going to accept I'm one of these genies that has a wispy bit and then has legs when it's convenient for the movie. Lodilad, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, disgusting. All of the fan art that I've said of me as a genie. Right. I've got the wispy bit. Right. So I'm happy to accept that if that's what the listeners hear, that I'm a wispy bit genie, then I guess that's what I know. A wispy genie's attached to the lamp though. Does the wisp always need to be attached to the lamp?

Well, here's my next question. Yeah. You've got a lamp here, right? Yeah. But because I'm a bit, I've got a slight obsession with genie logic. And so this might be, we might not get to the food store. I have a huge problem with Christina Aguilera, because she claims to be the number one world's genie expert, right? And then she sings it, but she knows nothing about Jesus. In that song, right, she sings, say,

if you wanna get with me, baby, there's a price to pay, I'm a genie in a bottle, gotta rub me the right way, right? Two things. First thing, you don't rub the genie, you rub the lamp. She says, yeah, exactly, you rub the lamp. She says, I'm a genie in a bottle. Like genie's do not live in bottles. Right. Yes. In our dream of genie,

there was a bottle in that one. Larry Hagman kept her in a bottle. But that relationship was, it was sexly of basic. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. There was something going on there that wasn't an equal relationship. He was even prisoned, that genie to work as his domestic slave. Yeah. So that's genie slavery. So I'm not accepting the bottle situation. Yeah. So she claims you have to, she's a genie in a bottle, they live in lamps.

And if she is in a bottle, you would rub the bottle, not the genie itself. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm just saying. She's shitting me about singing that song would rub the bottle, not the genie itself. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm just seeing. She's hitting me, but she's thinking that. She knows Bugga all about genie's. Yeah. And then so I always like to check if somebody's claiming to be a genie, I need to know a whispered, but you're seeing that a whisper genie, is it because you've seen the pictures from Aladdin where the genie's emerging?

And you think that he's still a bit of an attack, like an umbilical cord almost like a geniebilical. A geniebilical. So he's attached to the lamp and almost if a genie detaches from the lamp, how long can they survive? Are they getting there? They're getting there nutrients from the lamp from in the lamp. And you know how like when you like see a cow is giving birth. Yeah. And the, the calf comes out first. Yeah. And then or any on a mammal for that male. And then afterwards, there's like all of the, the, what did they call the afterbirth? The afterbirth. Yeah. That all comes out. Yeah. And what's the name of the thing? We percent of the percent. Yes. Of course. Which some

people eat. Of course. We could double back to that. Don't give away your starter. It's deserved. Always a sweet placenta. Is there like a sort of a genie placenta lamp shaped that if you went after the three wishes are granted, then a sort of whispered placenta flops out and you just see like a dead genie just with its kind of whispered bit down to thin, then like a sort of lamp here. A lamp check placenta sort of placenta. If that was the case and I knew that was going to happen, a lamp too would never have

been released. And I would never do my third wish. I'd just do the two wishes and I go, you know what, I don't want to see a genie placenta so I'm going to leave it. Well, you could make the third wish. I wish this isn't about to happen with the placenta. And that's the, you know, you sort of, and that's how the genie,

that's freeing the genie, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see, look, you're going to be, you're just, the lamp is no longer going to be dragged. Does he just drag the lamp? Yeah, I'm just thinking, if he is attached to the lamp, when a genie moves, are they just like drag the lamp behind them?

But that's probably, that's probably how they keep them, you know, like when they're in the cave. What's he called? The cave of wonders. The cave of wonders. That's the, they just drill the lamp to the shelf. Yeah. And that stops the genie. Yeah. It's not magic. Let's keep them in there. Yeah. Yeah. It's nails. Oh, yeah. Yeah. yeah. Or normal nails. Yeah, the glue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That it has the same effect. Is that still a thing that people

still use no more nails? I think so. Yeah, it's still going strong. Yeah, it's good. No more nails in the advert, I remember there was like a chair halfway up a wall that someone had used no more nails to stick to it. And the guy was sitting on it talking about no more nails. And they're like, well, that's the only thing I want to do with it now. I want to stick a chair halfway up a wall and be able to sit on that halfway up a wall. Yeah. Was it arildight? Was that the, you know, where he stuck he was in a jumpsuit and he stuck it to the, and then he was lured over a shark's.

I really was that there was a lot of that going on. Yeah, think now, because what do they call it? They call it imitative behavior, don't they? I think like nowadays you're not allowed to just start sticking your shoes to the ceiling. I'm Brian glue and with Brian's glue, you can put your shoes on the ceiling and hang upside down. You can do that. Yeah, because the kids are going to watch that. I'm going to stick my shoes to the stick my jeans to. I'm gonna see you in like Brian Glouc. Yeah, sure. You're gonna be like Brian Glouc. Yeah, who wants to be? Who wants to be? But so, Whispey Jeannie.

Yeah, yeah. I'm a Whispey Jeannie. I might have, thank you, by the way, on behalf of all Jeannie's for sticking up for us with the Christina Aguilera song. It's good to have an ally. You know what? You know what? For years, I don't like the way that she's positioned herself.

She's positioned herself as the voice of Jeannis. That's interesting, you say that, because at what point in the song does she say, I'm the world-wide GDX, but... Well, she released it on a whole major platform. She was doing a whole tour, where the reason people were going is to see her gyrating around,

seeing I'm a Jeannis... I'm a Jeannis in a bottle, you've got to rub me the right way. And even if that is like a sexual thing, I also think that because genies are essentially, they're not solid. So if you try to rub a genie, your hand goes through through the genie. So even that, even if she actually was a genie and had the paperwork to prove it, and then you, she, you go, well, I'm going to, all right, Christina, if you're up for it, I will rub you the right way. You can't, because you're hand-hungered straight through. Well, then that's the wrong way, isn't it? Maybe there is a right way.

Oh, there is a right way. I think we've run out of time for food. I think you're in. I remember you did that. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, sorry, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no In the restaurant, right? Because the, the, the, the, obviously, what would we call it? Staffers and manage management. My whiter. He's, he's really more than the man at his day. Right. here. But still valid. Still valid. Still valid. Is there a problem in the kitchen where all of the, because this lamp here, if you were to take the lid off that gravy board, it's so, is there a problem in the kitchen, you're hovering around.

There's a lot of, you know, obviously, end of the day, you're back in your lamp. But is there a problem with employing genies that there's too many genie-like receptacles in the kitchen where you're tempted to think, well, I'll just snip in that gravy bottle for a bit, on me, brick? Well, oh, so you're worried that the genies going to try and have a nap in a gravy boat? Yeah, yeah. I thought you were worried about someone putting gravy into the lamp. Yeah. That's more. I mean, that could be. That is more of a centering there. So I guess there's not. There's no. There's no spirit. Still burns us. Yeah. It still doesn't feel nice when it happens. Yeah. And obviously things just go right through me. But it still looks still feel it. Yeah. That scorches that kills. It kills

every time. Yeah. The screams of a genie coming from a gravy bowl. It's not nice. Spots every, there's many of Toby Carvery. I've been to that's why in a Toby Carvery, they always present it in a large pan. He did pan with a label, because label, label. You're a big Toby Carvery fan, I see. I see. I've lost nose that I've got a lot of his DVDs. And I think there's one of them you bow down to a man in the audience because he works at Toby Carvery. I don't remember that. Abs 100%. That is bow down to them.

I love to be carvery to the point, even to the point where it has been known for me to raise motorcycles. And I was trying to get to a be car been known for me to raise motorcycles and I was trying to get Toby Carfrey to sponsor me. Right. Because I just thought, you know, all these lads lining up on the start line with like Red Bull and all that. And I want the big face of Toby on the like on the back of my helmet, you know, just so that if people are coming up behind me, they go, hang on. That's the Toby Belch from the, from the, hold on, hold on. I know he was called Sir Toby Belch.

Yeah, that is it. I think, isn't it, isn't it? Is that what Toby drugs are based on? Yes, Sir Toby Belch from, but I, I would not like to hear about this. Well, tonight, it's 12th night. Yeah. So, so, so Tobi Belch is character in, in Shakespeare. Right. And I believe that the Tobi jug is based on Satorbi Belch. That's where that's the logic. I could be wrong. You might, you might need to.

And then Tobi, Carvery went, let's base it on the Tobi jug. Yeah. And then I think that's the key. Must be the Toby Belt, is it? It will have to be lovely, Lager, yeah. I mean, let's not forget with the tour the Carvery, they're dessert, they have the custard, you know, the endless custard. So, you mean unlimited? Yes, endless const no, I'm just like asking for English jokes. I just like to say, would you like the endless jokes?

It's just a nice thing to say. It's got a 70s thing to it. Yeah, no, I do. I absolutely love to have a cover yet. Because the great thing about it is you don't have to go for all the meat. You can just where else can you, this is is I've been advertently caught on theme yeah I have no where else can you go in and just get a massive plate of veg yeah like because I love a bros a sprout yeah and there's not many restaurants oh yeah you can have

them with like bits of bacon and some sort of truffle-infused oil in that. But where can you, if you're on the outskirts of a large town, not a city, a large town, then you think, I'm on around about and I want a large plate of veg. So, Tobie's there for you. How often do you find yourself thinking that Russ? I would say I'm a normal daily person. But you're on tour a lot. You've got to eat healthy. Yeah, yeah. Where else can you have a large plate of veg?

Yeah, we should talk about your tour. Oh, yeah, of course we should. Yeah, Japa. Jambore. That's the one. Yes, I'm on tour now all around the country playing mainly tour recoveries. If you look at Ross's tour dates, it's a three-single one

that has a Toby Carver. Not far off, actually. My ex, one of the guys who used to come on tour with me quite a lot, right? We would alternate between the who is going to buy the lunch, right? Right, you can clear this up, right? As a official restaurant types, right? So we go into a Toby Carvery and we previously, we'd had like a quite an expensive meal and I'd paid for it and then it was his turn to pay for the meal and he said, right, well, I'll pay for it but

I really wanted the Toby. So I said, look, and I think he's getting a result here because he's, was it like seven quid or something? So we go in there, we have the Toby and then at the end of it, the manager, right, the manager's chatting to the manager and you were, you were chatting to the manager at the Toby car. Of course. Yeah. I go, who's on, who's on, who's on today?

I like to find out. He look, he come over. Look, I'm not giving it the big and right. He came over. I'm just seeing. He said, I'm pleased to have you here. He approached me here. He approached me. This sort of this is sort of the crux of the story. I'm not trying to, yeah, not trying to be the big showbiz big man like, hey, look at no, it's definitely

recognized you because of your comedy rather than as someone who's been to every topic cover in the UK. We don't know that for sure. That's not, but he was inquiring about the show in the town, right? And then, right? And this is, again, I'm not trying to be some sort of big shot, jersey, take character. Right? He said, you know what? Lunch is on me. Okay.

Interesting. Literally he said, he said, you know what? And now that's, that's 1450. Right? He's at least right? Plus drinks. Yeah. Right? And I had a lot of constant.

Right? And he said, you know what? It's on me. Right? I offered him tickets. I didn't I said, look, come to the shore. Yeah. You know, I mean, that's 1450 versus two. Anyway, just let's not get into that. He's quid in there. He's a head. But my mate, who's on tour with me, he then claims, right? He then claims that strictly speaking, I have to pay for the next meal

because he would have paid for the tourbary. The tourbary. That's what I call it. It's a portmanteau. I like to merge it together. He reckons that because technically the manager said you can have a free tourbary, right? He reckons, well, that was my turn. So I then have to pee from the next one. Is that right? No, definitely not. No, I think it's him who's got to pay for the next one, but is it whoever pays the other person picks? Is that the rule? No, it was just it was just. It's happy. I knew what you fancy to tell you. I did it the night before. Yeah. And it was like, you know, I think he's got to pay for it.

He's got to pay for it. Exactly. That's what I said. Yeah. It's, that's why we no longer work together. No, that's not true. Five for the tour. Yeah. So, yeah, there you go. But I do, I do love it. I love it to me. I really love it to me. Yeah. I mean, it's hilarious. I've completely forgotten that I remember it. Because I tell you why I remember it as well. It's because I at the time, I didn't really left Ketrin. So I did not know what I don't know what Toby Carfrey was at the time. So I was like,

I don't understand this bit. But then the bit that helped me out understand the joke was that you said to the guy, the only way that you could be any more iconic to me would be if you were literally the little chef. Right. And I don't know what little chef was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I was like, okay, I'm guessing it's a similar. Oh, gone now, of course, the little chef. Yeah, but I must have been sad for you. It was, yes. So I was like, okay, I'm guessing it's a, it's a similar. All gone now, of course, the little chef. Yeah, but I must have been sad for you. It was, yeah, I think the, you know, when they try to get a Heston Blumenthal to, to revamp it, but that was doing the failure, wasn't it? You know, like little chef is, not, you got your pancakes, Jubilee, you know,

it's a beautiful thing. You got your Olympic breakfast, they're standard, it's more to wear fair. Yeah. You know what, Heston, coming with his glitter cannons and he's, you know, I don't want to, I don't want the cherries Jubilee fired in my face from some sort of exploding nitrous oxide thing, you know what I mean? It's Heston, Heston's the wrong man for the, for the, and they didn't take on any of these ideas. So, you know, the little chef was a character in Macbeth, wasn't he? He's absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't shake your little chef head at me. Clicking on him? I already know. Don't shake your bloody locks at me. Yeah, yeah. I was trying to do that, but then realize he doesn't have locks. We've got that chef hat on all the time.

We do it in a way. So I was back into a corner. But we do another one, do we? We don't know what's under that. We have a lot of bloody locks in the lab. We just pulled it off. There's this bloody locks. Oh, damn enough.

Well, we always start. We've still lost bark in water, Ross. Yes. Do you have a preference? Oh, blind me. So, well, I do like a sparkling water, but sometimes I call it fizzy water. Yes. And if you're in a restaurant, they don't like that in the post places. You go to like some water. I go, yeah, I'll have some fizzy water, please. What did you

say? I'm sorry, sparkling. That's always a bit awkward. And also, like, I've never really drank water for years, and it's a new thing for me. And some of the waters, it's quite a, you'll get like a dense bubble. And then others, you know, he says, it's like, lightly sparkling. So it's got to be the right sort of bubble. So I will. And sometimes I don't know whether this slips into favorite drinks or not, but if it's a place that a restaurant that has a bar selection, the ultimate for me would be large bottle of densely sparkling water, just a little drop of lime cordial. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So it's, is that still allowed? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. It's not pure. But if somebody said, oh, would you like some water that's got a hint of lime in it? No, it has to be the mixture. So yeah, I'll go for, yeah, I think that. Yeah. Densely sparkling. Dense. I don't like the high, you know, the high

frequency bubbles. Yeah. You like big, big old bubbles. Big thick bubbles. In fact, if it could be just one bubble, that would be me. Is that not an empty glass? Well, it's been just really looking at it. Some people see a glass is awful. Some people see the glasses half empty. I see it. The glasses just got one big bubble in the middle. We can definitely use cubes for whiskey. Well, there's big ice cubes for whiskey that basically fill the glass, but you want that but like a bubble for water. Yeah. There's a period of time I remember a lot of comedians having fizzy water with lime cordial in it before gigs. Do you remember that? Really?

It was a thing for a while. What? No. Yeah. Are we talking at the festivals here or are we talking about this in the clubs? This feels like this feels like clubs. This feels like a lot of people were sort of a hero. Are we talking about?

Yeah. Well, it's probably when I was starting, it says probably I reckon we're talking 2010 comedians have started around the same time as me. He was, so let me go in a few years at that point. They're just started to get paid gigs. A few of them were just doing it. And it was like, this is like the drink of the I was, yeah, you're talking about comedians who've just started. So all the old guard were probably sat in the corner. Oh, yeah, they were hiding it. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no But there was a time where you had to be very careful order in sparkly water,

because you didn't want to be like a young up and come in a club saying, what really like a peri, you know, because that's, you know, that was the, yeah, that was the, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm sure you would, but with your agnarchance. And then it, so when did it stop being the peri, comedy award? That's the question. I reckon that's what it is. I reckon it probably stopped being the Perry and comedians were like, oh, thank God.

Oh, you're probably right because like it was around that time it switched over, right? The Perry A stopped. Do you think they were all drinking sparkling water because they thought it would get them a Perry A? No, no, no, no. It stopped being the Perry A. So now they can order a spark and walk. Okay, the other way. And they wouldn't be on no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's like for things to tick. Oh, isn't it? Yeah. Probably 2007 people went, oh, thank God. And then it sort of filtered through and it's pretty him. Yeah. Yeah. It was like an acceptable. You leave it a few years. It's still a few years after that people are still going to be calling it the peri-ay later.

I was just like, it's like Twitter and X, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that thing of like, it's called it X, formerly known as Twitter Twitter all the time. Yeah, and it's gonna In 10 years time we'll be going. Oh, the birds are Xing outside Just that's how language development. Yeah, I was quite angry actually when I got nominated for the period because they sent me a Lord of champagne Don't drink. I want well, what's wrong with this picture? Like you're a fizzy water company. Can I have a, and talk about lots of small bubbles? Oh, champagne. Yeah, but you know what I did. I asked for it. They sent me some. I said, I love, can I have some of your water?

And I think they're a bit like, there's no real connection here. They just give you the money and that. And then they did. So I opened them up, left the top off them, left them out overnight, came back. Sweet, sweet, still water. Yeah. He won that one. Yeah. Pop it up, man. Pop it up, man. Pop it up, man. Pop it up, man. Pop it up, man. Pop it up, man. Pop it up, man.

Pop it up, man. Yeah. When you see it, pop it up, man. Yeah. Are you referring, pop it up, Brad. Yeah. Are you referring to the Carla Leone sitcom? The what? The Carla Lane sitcom. The Carla Leone sitcom.

Do you remember the popular sitcom, Brad? Oh, yes. About, yes. Sorry. Yeah, I just don't know who. Oh, Carla, have you noticed how Carla Leone... I've never watched Brad. No, we haven't.

I know about Brad, because of the Fanny on that car. We know who our friend who knows everything about everything. Yeah. So I know about bread for him. I only know about it because I saw, is it Jonathan Morris was in bread? Johnny Morris, he had the voices of the animals on animal magic. No, there was another guy. I saw him in Panta anyway.

Oh. So I know about him from that. Oh, hang on. Which one was he? Did he play the second brother? Because of course, Adrian. For people who don't know what bread is. Sorry, do you want to explain what to the list and what bread is what this show was?

It was a sitcom about a Scouse family who, I mean, it's a bit like how Only Fools and Horses was basically about somebody who, you know, parked in disabled parking spaces and didn't pay a tax and everyone went, yeah, there's a different time, you know? And I think, yeah, red was a Scouse family who used to fiddle the door. It's a different time, you know? And yeah, so it was a Jean Bort who was like Mama Boswell, that made one. And yeah, and then she had all these Scouse sons. I believe originally written for the McGahn brothers, McGahn, and then they passed on it. I think Carl L.A. was like, oh, this was so they cast some war. And then the guy that played Joey, the eldest one,

went on to direct the Hollywood movie sliding doors. Yeah. I think I do love bread. I have to say, the, yeah, the wheat beers. Yes, snap. Or meal, depending on you. But then the pop-a-doms are, the thing about pop-a-doms for me is they're only really the means of transporting the sources into your mouth. So if I could have bread and say like a syringe,

not with a needle on it, obviously. Well, I don't want it, pulp fiction style, javed into me heart, but if I could have bread, but like say like the mint stuff in a syringe, that I could have a bit of bread and just work a bit into my and then just squirt a bit into my mouth or spoon it in. I would go to a pop-a-dum's, but I just think... You want the pop-a-dum's sources is the main thing you would want if you were to pop-a-dum's.

I think so, yeah. Yeah. So I mean, if you want to do bread and some syringes full of pop-a-dum's stuff. Do you just want the syringes and no bread or pop-a-dum's? You just want the syringes with the sources in. Yeah, but I think that's disrespecting the that's disrespecting the pop-a-doms, isn't it? Because that's, here's the problem, right? Yeah. I want a warning mango, right? It's too tropical, right? It's, it's, it's just too, it's too tropical. So what's the issue with it being too tropical for you? You don't want to get ideas above your stage. I don't want to be transported to the, to the mangrove. No, towards the, towards the end of his life, my father developed a, I would say an unhealthy

obsession with mango eating it, not, you know, I didn't just have them around the place. And he had, yeah, like mango chutneys and dried mango. He had a lot of mangoes. And then there's never been a thing in his life before. You've never seen him in a mango. No, no, he'd never, especially, I mean, he was finding it difficult to eat. And I think the mango, my, my, it was going to be dark on it. Yeah. It might just be that mango is the thing that is mixed in food that's easy to eat. But I opened the fridge and he had an unhealthy amount of mango flavoured yogurt. And I just thought it's too, I've never really thought about mango before that and I went, there's too much mango. And then I just, when I thought about it, I thought I, it's too tropical for me, but I do like the mango chutney on a pop of

dumps or interest. I mean, you know, I've got to ask a psychiatrist about that. Well, I think a psychiatrist, if they just, yeah, if I may, listen to that clip, we'll go, I think it's more that it reminds me of the end of his father's life. I think the tropical thing is that it's you. But you didn't look at the mango and you went, it is too, you separately then saw, do I let mango this much? No, it's too tropical. It wasn't dead at that point, though.

But you said it was in this life. He suddenly, suddenly it loads of mangoes all the time. So what you're seeing that like, do you mean like I opened the fridge and went there's too much mango in this. I'll say that now you would associate the mango. Yeah, but at the time, but at the time you decided I'm off board with mangoes because you opened the fridge and there was too many mango yoghurt. Yeah, but then equally some might see if I was to eat mango now, it would transport me back to a time where my father was alive. Yeah. So sure, I don't think that the

master's job. Does that make it less tropical then? Because it's not transporting you to see what you mean, your clients is causing you back to when your father was alive. For difficult situation, isn't it? What else is too tropical for you, Ross? Oh, Oh, Blimey, I would say, like, Lilt is fine. Right? Even though that's their brand. Well, that's totally tropical.

That's a whole brand, Russ. But, hang on. It's totally tropical. No, no, but it's not too tropical, is it? Right. It's totally tropical. It's completely tropical. If they released, you were like here, like a diet beverage,

like a less sugar first. Yeah. They don't do, we're still like Red Bull. You've got Red Bull, then you've got Sugar Free Red Bull, and then you've got Law Caffeine Red Bull. So, Lilt is totally tropical. That's the right amount of tropical. But if somebody said, do you want to Lilt?

And I think I'm feeling a little bit tropical, right? I just want the right amount of tropical. And then, so many, it comes out of the kitchen, they've hollowed out a pineapple and they've poured the lilt into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They, whoa, yeah, yeah, it's too tropical. So, so you never drink out the pineapple. Not. Or a coconut. Not coconut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know if you had to pour lilt into a coconut, is that too tropical? Well, the liquid itself is still totally tropical, right?

Yes. But then with, combined with the vessel, it's too tropical. Yeah, it's too tropical. It isn't too tropical. Yeah. Are you aware that cost and press have released a basically their own kind of lilt. What? So that they've... Do you want to give some background? Yes, so for the listener, you already know if you listen to enough episodes that I

obsess with cost and press and lovely pub cost and press, the nice people that cost and press said there's a lot of cans of it recently as a result. Ross came here today, opened the fridge to get a soft drink out, was not prepared to see that much cost him personal. And punch the air and said yes, with many s's on the end of yes, and then told us that you're addicted to it. I'm absolutely addicted to it. And but you know what? I'm ashamed to say that I did not know the the brand, because I've just been buying it at the Marx and Spence's Motorway Services, and I saw the rhubarb,

you know, I've started the tour, and you know, I've been in Australia, and I've come back, and I've seen, hang on, a rhubarb beverage. What? Which is not tropical at all. You know what, if anything, it has the taste of the allotment of it.

Yeah. I mean, if anything is the opposite, it allotment of it. Yeah. Anything is the opposite. It's totally allotment. If you were to pour lilt and it's like if you, you know, like equalizing acidity, if you were to pour the rhubarb press into, you know, like mix that with lilt, it would just taste like water. The tropical, the totally tropical taste and the, you know, rhubarb grown indoors in the dark, the opposite of the, the opposite of tropical, they're going to cancel each

other out. What would happen if you pulled rhubarb, of course, and pressed into a coconut? I think that would be a neutral, that would be a tropical vessel. Yeah. Tropical vessel. A lot of them drink. A lot of them drink. A lot of them drink. Pour them together.

I think if you're the sort of person who wanted to drink from a coconut and was thinking to themselves like, oh, I want to drink from a coconut. I like the look of it, but I don't want people to think that I'm some sort of tropical large, you know, then pour a bit of that roux barind, and people go, oh, look at you, all tropical. Have a sip of that. I'll give you that. That's what you win that one. Yeah, exactly.

You're fierce. I love it. I'm absolutely, I had five cans yesterday. Five cans of this drink, and it's just, my only criticism of it is it only comes in the can and I'm all for you know better for the environment but when you're in a higher car and the you know you need I'm I mean I'm not in fine if you're in SUV but you can't when you knock it back yeah it's a bit dangerous to finish the whole you, to drink a whole can, you have to tilt the head,

has to be tilted, unless you've put the seat lower. And the sunroof down. But you've still got to knock it back fully. You don't want to be pouring it into a glass or cold enough to take it, it's wig. So that's my only criticism, but that's more of a criticism of can's in general, though. I think that's true. I could get aig. Yeah, yeah. So that's my only criticism, but I mean, that's more of a criticism of Caden's in general. I could get a straw. I could get a straw. You know, fuck. Yeah. But I love it. I'm properly, and because I don't drink hot drinks, ever, and that,

well, every now and again, if there's a nice bit of scenery, I'll often have a, I might have a hot chocolate if it's a, but only if there's no scenery. I'll often have a, I might have a hot chocolate if it's, but only if there's no scenery. Like a winter, anything that could be deemed fodder for a Christmas card, yeah, I'll have a hot chocolate, but it has to be a rosy face children or robins. Maybe if I'm watching an episode of like Winter Watch or something like that, I'll have a hot chocolate. I'm like, ah, if backups within, if backups within the vicinity, even if we were on a tropical beach, I would have a, you know, I'd have a lovely hot chocolate. And I'm, every now and again, I'll treat myself to peppermint tea, but for the most part, I don't, I never drink, I don't drink

tea or coffee. So, so, yeah, so beverages for me are, yeah, they're quite a, quite an integral part of my liquid intake, you know, cordials. I know you're, you've talked about cordial in the past. I stuck it to them. Yeah. I, um,, oh God, that's caused a problem in the studio, the mention of cordial, no, holy presses. So just through his notebook across the road. Yeah, maybe he's had an incident with one of the Robinson's family. I want to put every flavor of Robinson's cordial and had it in my dressing room so that it started that I had it on the shelf and it started with the deep rich forest fruits there, the black currents right down that end. And then it came up the the barley, you know, the summer barley with a maybe a hint of grass and then I think raspberry and I did the full colors right the way

through into the oranges and then wow right up to lemon. And you look at people coming in the dressing room and go, whoa, what's happening? Yeah, I got full color chart. Like a gin, you know, you walk into a bar sometimes they've got an amazing selection of gin. So you did that, but with just the full range of the jeans. I don't know because I don't tend to I don't drink alcohol. So they they they couldn't be color organized, but I just mean the the selection. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But this this was a it was like a wonderful like collage

art like a sunset. So I love the cordials. Was this when you're doing a long run at a venue? Yes. Yeah. I was you know, I was taking this everywhere you go. How many bottles is that for the whole venue? It's quite a lot. And I had to go to several different supermarkets. So I'm imagining quite a long wall. I think I would say 10 to 12 maybe. It's not massive. But I do like, I very much, there's a brand called Big Feds.

Big Feds cordial, they're an Australian brand and I do like a Big Feds, I like the lemon, but they've got one flavor of it. Do you know what the flavor's called? Tropical. It's just Big Feds, just tropical, doesn't describe. General tropical. Just general tropical. Yeah, you can't trust that. Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm loving this. I'm loving this. Well, there's a tropical, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Right. That's like pineapple and grapefruit, I think, like, like, lilt is, but like also, yeah. Because lilt isn't a thing anymore, right? Lilt's not a thing anymore.

What? Sorry. Sorry. Do you know that? It's now, what is it? Fanta, they basically replace. Might replace Fanta, pineapple and yeah. Oh, phanta pineapple and, yeah, yeah, I don't want to be one of these all bastards.

This is the most embarrassing become snickers in the whole for a fruxtarva shot up to progress, right? But I'm not sure how I feel about that. Yeah, little to actually is little to not think. I feel like it's the opposite of progress. Yeah. Yeah, with little, but I just merged it into phanta. I feel like it's the opposite of progress. Yeah. Yeah, we're little, but I just merged it into phanta because it was it's something it embraced the tropicality,

you know, and this is just going completely. No, no, it's not that anymore. It's just another flavor of phanta. And I also, I mentioned this to you before as well, but I have drunk too much of this, but I got to the point, I had to go and see hypnotherapist because I became addicted to diet Coca-Cola. And can you see yourself heading down that path with Corson Press at the moment?

It's like Simon Hibnepheur. Hello. Corson Press robot. It's me again. I think it was the caffeine and I don't go well together. And I'll have a can in the much, especially on tour, you know, you have a can in the morning, you maybe have a bottle in the car on the way to the gig. And then you'd have one before the gig, have one in the interval, maybe it's a couple afterwards, go back to the hotel bar, maybe some pint there, and I was drinking, I would say close to five to six

litres of diet. And I was shocked because the day you just grabbed on Diet Coke does not add up to five or six litres. So you're even keeping some secret diet. Well, hang on, 33, 330 mil. Yeah, is that? Is that, yeah, that was 330 mil. Oh, 33, 330 mil. Yeah, it's that. Yeah, that was 330 mil. Oh, yeah, 330 mil.

Yeah, standard can. Yeah, right? Pretend you didn't know, yes. Yeah. I'm just checking this. I don't want the number out the air. I'm checking on the can if that's really. I don't want people to talk, I'm just thinking.

Sure. Yeah, it doesn't know. But double check it. Yeah, so there would be what's that sort of three, so three cans of that, that's a liter for three cans. Yeah. So what did I say? I had five or six liters. I had, yeah, so that's, you're right, but it's, that's a lot.

You're probably having, like, I can find pre-show, if I'm in the dressing room and there's die coats, which there is, yeah, always. There's always I'm in the dressing room and there's diet codes, which there is, yeah, always. There's always diet codes in the dressing room. I can get through more than one can pre-show because I'm a bit on pace and around. And that's when I realize, I have to win the daytime because I'm big into diet code. I might have to get that number of you hitting the therapist. Yeah, I can. But in the daytime, if I know I've got a game in the evening, I have to stop myself

from having diet codes because I know that pre-show in that dressing room, I'm going to go nuts. I'm going to have two or three pre-show. Yeah, easy. Yeah. And sometimes, sometimes the caffeine doesn't, like it's fine if it hits during the shore and you get a bit of a lift, but if you time that wrong and it happens, can I ever boy?

That's not good, you know, I wasn't speaking. In fact, especially if you're going back to your room and having another Diet Coke. Oh God, you're sitting in a room, wired, all alone. And that's when that's when you start like pulling the hangers out of the cup, I didn't say, well, I want to work, do with ease. You know, emailing Toby Carphing up into sponsor you. Exactly. For me, really made it Toby Carphing up into sponsor you on your boat.

Exactly. He really got it. He's on my helmet. I'm really fast. No, even on a boat. Well, did it. Not yesterday, dear before, I did this run. So I got really early.

I sound in the new forest. And I was, I got really early. And then I had a red, straight away, I woke up. Boom. Smashed a red bull. So I thought, because it's early, so smashed a red bull. And then I had, and I, and I, and I'd, and I'd stay off the caffeine completely. And then I had a beer with some Nutella on it. And that's got, that's got quite a lot of sugar in it. So I'm all the absolute last person who needs any of this

shit. And then I, over the course of the run, I had these, no, these gel things that you have. Yeah, yeah. And I got these, they've got caffeine in them. Yeah, okay. And I got the larger ones. Morty and I think the morty, anyway, they got a lot of caffeine in them.

And I did do, I'd wanted them every sort of half an hour for like two hours and that, yes, I did four of them and then, and they all kicked in. I'd already finished the run and they kicked in in the car and I was literally, I thought I was at a rave. I don't remember, I don't remember any of the drive, so I went into the spa, but I don't know what that I listened to. I think at least two Taylor Swift albums.

So yeah, so I did go into the hipnistered, and I haven't drunk a diet cook for five years now. What happens when you, like, look, it's something happen when you look at Diet Coke now, where something kicks in and you break in. Oh, I got stopped doing a chicken. Like a steamy jib. Oh, do you just not want it?

Do you just not want it anymore? Just don't want it. Yeah. It just doesn't even, I just look at it and I think, I think he's put something in my head that's made me go, ah, not for me, you know, which is, you know, it's good. I, some people, the first time he said, people react to hypnosis in different ways.

And he said, some people are really sort of in the moment. And the first time he, the first session that we had, I thought I was inside a flaming cave of dragons. Like, you know, when you look at, yeah, you know when you close your eyes and you see the, like close your eyes and look at them. Because often people don't look at the, they just close their eyes and think,

oh, it's dark. But if you close your eyes and look, there's a lot of stuff going on. There's a lot going on. Like, and it's, it's sort of an independent on how dark the room is. So I was like, in that, and it felt like it was all flame swirling around and then I started, as I got more relaxed. Unless he did just go, there's a dragon.

I was at work. Yeah, it's a mess to know. So, yeah. So if anything, if I look at a diet coke, I sort of something, I think, so I must read some Tolkien. LAUGHTER A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend.

In 1973, a group of indigenous artists formed a collective. The press called them the Indian Group of Seven, their goal to raise the profile of indigenous art. It was all or nothing. we're representing all our people. And create a permanent space in galleries for Indigenous artists in Canada and around the world. That was really a rock star moment for me. I'm Salaï Lunya and this is Among Equals, the history and legacy of the professional Native Indian artist, Inc. Listen wherever podcasts are heard.

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I don't like cooking. I don't like hearing about cooking and I don't like cooking chores, right? I don't know where to come from. I don't know how it's happened. And I don't like mixed food, right? So here's the thing, right? If you were to give me a little ball of mince,

what I'm seeing is I like eating ingredients, right? And I think that's because I, that's why I can't cook because I go, oh, they're nice, you go ahead and just eat them. So if you give me, if you give me a little ball of mince, a little ball of cheese, right? Maybe it's a bit of pasta, someone like that. Oh, that's a nice dinner. You

make that into a lasagna. I'll chuck you out of the house. I'm not a fan of stuff being mixed together, right? That is all cooking. Yes, but when you say I don't like mixed foods, I was thinking, okay, like maybe like, you know, you got a fried breakfast and stuff mixed in with each other. You don't like the food to be touching or whatever. You don't like a meal. I don't. Multiple ingredients that are touched. You don't want the ingredients touching each other. You know, it's not about touching.

No, I can mix them together. So like if you would say you brought me a breakfast, right, like sausage, I'll make an exception with the sausage because obviously that's that's different bits of pork and it's made Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, it's, yeah, it's hard to describe. I'm just like, like, like, Shepherd's pie nightmare. Yeah. Like, absolute nightmare. There's like, there's too much going on there, right? So, I'll just say the phrase, Shepherd's pie, there's too much going on there. Right. It's possibly one of the simplest dishes anyone could ever make.

Yeah, I've been anyone's ever said that before. Chappenspy, there's too much going on there. Right. Potatoes. Yeah. Correct. Not just, if you give me like some, what's it, mince is it inside this?

Are they all going to be in little bowls again? Yeah. You give me some mince. It's mince. And I spent mince and a bowl has been the example twice now. Well, yeah, that's true, actually. Right. So we start it.

It's mince in a bowl. It's Cheppets pie is lamb, right? Is it lamb? Yes. Yeah. Because it's shepherd. Right. Cheppets pie, lamb, mashed potato on top.

Right. Yeah. Disgusting. Wouldn't eat it, right? Lamb shank next to some mashed potatoes. Yes, please. Okay. No, you see what I'm saying? I see.

Yeah. What about sauce, though? If they, what about if there's a gravy going on top? Yeah, that's fine. That doesn't count as meat. Okay. But also do you have to pour it on? I think so.

I think it might be a control issue. Yeah. Now I get what you mean by mixed foods. You see what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, when it's been funny about with, cut, I mean, but yeah, I think prepared is the thing. I think it's, I'm fine for cooking, but even then,

which brings me to my starter. Yeah. Steak tartar. By perfect. That's mixed with stuff, for us. Not, it's, yeah. Sometimes you watch them, they come table side and mix it. I will not have that. I will not have that. Not have that. That is, yeah, no, I do it my end. You stick a few chives in, stick a few, you know. You stick a few, I like you in the egg, I like the egg sits on the top.

And then you do it. I don't want that mixed in. I'll mix it, mate. Don't get just step away. The worst state I've ever had was at, you know, Sardis. No, sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no just I was no, I was doing stand up and I'd never been never been the sardines before, but sardines is the place you know where I mean it's faded now and it's

but you know back in the day, it's got all the pictures, all the pictures, all the stars, all the stars there on the walls and you go in there and it's like lunch at sardines, right? That's that's the that's the you know it's the place at Sardis, right? That's the place, all the big Brody vassal all year. I'm going to go to Sardis, I went in there, what's this? Steak Tata, it was not Steak Tata. What it was, that course in Express, come back on me. I should have won it had the seven cows. And it was mince. You love mince in a bowl. you love mince and a bowl. Yeah, mince and a bowl. No, you love it.

Yeah. It was uncooked mince. Literally, it was mince like it had come out of a mince, but they make a big deal of mixing it up at the table and then putting the stuff in. No, I'm not having that. I like a really, really nice, like high, like really high quality. I was vegetarian for years. I was a prock vegetarian. And then I just remember that meat was really nice. And I just went, I went back to it, but it's a lovely,

just a really good quality bit of steak. It needs to be hand chopped as well, right? It was the thing that it'd been through a min, so it just felt like it's weird. That's weird. Yeah, that is weird. Like you're in a raw burger. Exactly. And I'm not off in that. Yeah.

So, yeah, so I think nice stick to tata there, like an egg on the top, for me to mix up my discretion. I love state tata. This is a great choice. You do? I'll normally, normally appears on many classic restaurants, right? Yeah. It's like all the favourites are there, and I'll normally go for Tata.

But also, it appears in the sort of, it's one of those ones where it can so easily go wrong. It's not the sort of thing where it has to be a certain quality of restaurant, because if you were to go to, you know, in near of the generic in here, Toby Carver. No, never disrespect to me. But if you guys Toby Carver and they go, we've got a new special on today, we're doing stuff. Let's say where the spuds, let's say where the spuds.

What if Toby Carver said they had a steak tartar on, are you getting that? I'd have to have a look at who was working. I'd have to, yeah, really nice, really nice. I do. You know, with the little bits of bread and stuff and I can, you know, I can put it together myself. There's never enough.

I think state tartar. It's always too small a portion. Some places I order a main as a starter. Oh, nice. Yeah, but you have to do this yet. Well, there's two things I do. The first thing is I order the steak tartar and I always go, this is just for my own amusement.

I don't think that the waiter away just is gonna find this funny. This is purely for my own amusement. I always go and could I have the steak tartar, please? Medium rare. I always say it, I was medium rare. And then I just pause and I just look out the corner of my eye and I see the look of panic on the face of the server going,

oh he's an idiot. Oh god, I'm going to have to explain that's take to our Tars of Roar dish. And you can see them. There's a beautiful moment where they're going, oh shit should I say it now? Or should I just bring it and then and you can just see the panic look and I go I know it's raw but I just wanted to see something but I just want to just yeah just from our own amusement you know so if probably the eggs probably got humans alive or in it to be yeah yeah after I do that but that's what I saved to keep all the ingredients that pro absolutely I want to see what yeah yeah I want to go on a second see there's a little bit of two spots in that one. Little ball of space.

I got. And a jug of piss for you. You like me to. No, I'll pour that on myself, thanks. Toby, Toby, Toby, Joe, for the piss. Exactly. Piss, pour it out of Sir Toby's face. That's a great starter, Ross.

That's delicious. Would you like a main course serving of that as your starter? Yes, please. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Medium rare. But this is the thing, so I was going to go for, because my favourite food is chicken wings, right?

But not fry chicken wings. I've no time for that. I like, you know, a really nice oven cooked chicken wing. And often chicken wings come as a starter. It's perfect as a starter or a main, you know, a really nice oven cooked chicken wing. And often chicken wings come as a starter. It's perfect as a starter or a man, you know, for me. Am I allowed to have like when we get into the main course, would you say chicken wings would be classed as a side, even though I don't think they're a side.

Could you get away with that? I think you get away with. Yeah. Chicken wings are a side on a lot of many. Yeah. I love chicken wings so much side on a lot of menu. Yeah. I love chicken wings so much that I was in Dublin right are you aware of the chicken wing the Dublin chicken wing wars we might have mentioned I don't know I tell us about the Dublin chicken wing. Okay.

Okay. Have you had the popular comedian and television personality, Jason Manford on them. No, we've not. Okay. Myself and Mr Manford were in Dublin. We were working in Dublin for a week and it turns out that somebody, now the artist aren't known for their, it's not chicken wings, you always associate with the American story, they say somebody put it on, best chicken wings in Dublin, this one restaurant, and then another place opened up, and they were like claiming they, so there was these two restaurants competing for the chicken wing crown. And then another one popped up, and then it became this thing

of like, because there was cues around the block for the two places, and then there was no sight enough, the chicken wing me and he was growing. So all these people start jumping on board and well, if there's cues around the block, no need to queue. So there's like 10 restaurants in Dublin who all claim to be the best chicken wings. All in the same area.

Yeah, yeah, it's central Dublin. So I said, because I love chicken wings. So I said to Jason, I said, well, there. Because he'd heard about this and he'd been to one of them. We said, oh, this place is definitely the best. So I said, why, we're here for a week, right? Yeah. We're here for a week. I said, why don't we eat nothing but chicken wings?

Such an unnecessary part of the plan. Like, like, I thought, oh, it's going to be you know that you know all of them you will try all of them but yours is why don't we eat nothing but yeah but there's 10 restaurants I'm not I'm not gluttonous I'm going to have if you know lunch and dinner for five days yeah that's not a big stretch I mean look I do sometimes when I get it food that I like, like this drink, sometimes I can go for weeks where I only eat that one thing. If you like something stick with it, right? I don't like it anymore.

That very rarely happens. It's not burnt out. It's more than you're straight to the hypnotist. It's, yeah. It's out there. It's the pocket watch comes out. It's chicken wings this time. Okay, here we go.

You're in the front. I went to Dublin. I tried to decide which one. Do you know chicken wing walls? Oh, he made the chicken noise to stop him drinking the diet. Cool. That's drinking the chicken wing addiction. You're not a man for the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I made up my chicken wings this time. No, so I sometimes I will, you know, I'll go through phases where I just eat like one thing.

Anyway, for example, me and a friend of mine, we spent a week in Devon where we just went wild camp and sleeping in farmers' fields, not official, and we ate nothing, but I'm rosy or rice pudding for a week. And I'll tell you what, I mean, to your race pudding for a week and I'll tell you what I mean, I love race pudding like Jesus After a week of eating that there was something Why did when was this? Probably five six years ago And we we wrote on what it says we decided right around Devon We made a little film about in fact it's on the internet you see the we got some of that

You know you get a rice pudding where you can, it's got the milk in it and then there's, you can also, that Ambrosia Company, they brought out the it's rice pudding, but it's got a custard base instead of a, and we wanted to see which one was the most appetizing to manage your horses. So we went to a, because there's that down in Devon, there's a, like a Shetland Pony rescue center. So we, we went down into the field with all the Shetland Pony's. Like, we put it on her because we thought we'd get the Pony's to lick us, right? So he rubbed the cost that he won on his face.

And I rubbed the regular one on my face. And then we got on all fours to us not to scare the Shetland ponies. And then we crawled up to the ponies in the field. But then we read what we realized was we should have had half of each fit because I might have had a more likable face than him. And it had nothing to do with control there. Yeah. But then also ponies don't like dairy. It's not a thing horses.

They're not interested in they don't get it in the wild. Even Shetland ponies, because they can get under a cow, but they can't suckle. But what happened to us is we're on all fours, and the Shetland ponies were coming up, but they were more injured, because we're on all fours, so that like the trousers were a bit lower,

so the arms crack. They were more interested in, and we've been sleeping rough for a couple of years. They were more interested in the musty smell of the arse crack than they were from the, so as an experiment, it didn't work out, but it's still a result of the experiment, though. Yeah. Yeah. Shatland ponies prefer the smell of sweaty arse is to amperazly roast pudding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Shetland ponies prefer the smell of sweaty arses to amperazly roast pudding. Yeah, but that's that's no advert for the amperazure. And then And it's called let me face it was I mean we were sticky for it because we had no it. Yeah, we're just washing in puddles and that. So yeah, anyway, so we did that for a week.

Hold on, did you do? Did you put the most pudding on your face every day for a week? No, that was just one day. No, I had pannism on my bike and we just packed it full of we had cans that we would we'd hit it on the fire, you just put it straight on the fire and then there was the the yoghurt style card and so you could eat it. But by the end of it, if you eat nothing but rice pudding for a whole week, I mean, I don't want to be vulgar about it, but we're talking, we're talking Aaron Cheney by the time you pass, you know, after three days, you're doing Aaron Cheney shit. That's not good. Anyway, so the point is, so let's, we're going to have to zoom out on this story. So, so, so I, so chicken wings was then, was how we got into that.

So, yes, so the chicken. So a man for the the night, we spent a week. A man for the fucking hell. So, a man for the night, I spent a week eating nothing but chicken with him. And he had to bail out on the Thursday because he couldn't take it anymore. And I pressed on. And that was when I first suffered a crippling goat. suffered a crippling doubt. And it's that level of sympathy that people have. When you tell them, you've got go to one of those things where, because it's essentially it's like a crippling arthritis where you can't walk awfully painful apparently, yeah. A horrifically painful. And but the way that you laugh there is exactly how I can't be turning up in the media trying to raise awareness for Gout and people because people just think of so to be belch with these red face It's also I would say when people really find out that you ate nothing but chicken wings for a week and nothing but

Ambrosia rise putting for a week the sympathy drains away slightly rough. Little bit. Yeah, especially When you put it like that, especially when you're necessarily going to come on podcasts and discuss their finances. But I would say you're making enough of it that you don't need to be sleeping in the field eating up and putting it for a week. That was fun. That was fun. That was fun. Exactly. So that was fine. But it just means that then when you're like, Oh, got galked. So chicken, chicken wins for a week. Everyone's like, well, it's not like he, you, you had a number of choices, but that trigger that, did that trigger the gout? Or was it always in the background? And then it was inflamed. That was the first time I had the gout. Second time I had it was when I bought a juicer, I bought a juicer and got a juicer wings. Well, yeah, because the, because the bones

are wasted. And I don't like fruits better when it's just, I don't like it mixed. So, so I, but then everyone's oh, juicins really healthy and all the rest of it. And I'd just had some juice and then that's the fructose triggers the uric acid bang, you're walking with a stick. So it's, it's, yeah, look, goats not, it's not to be laughed at. But in this case, it is. Yeah. But I feel I still feel fine about that. I forget this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. But so where do we get? So I think we got the side dream. So the chicken wings is your side dish. Is that so?

Yeah, sorry, that was the question I was asking. I can have chicken wings as a side dish for my men. Yes, yeah, right. Because if you said no, I would strike the steak tartar and I would have chicken wings as a starter. No, you can have the chicken wings as a side. Did you find out, by the way, where's the best place in Dublin for chicken wings? To be honest, I was so nervous. He doesn't know. Should have kept it not really. Yeah. What I found was after two or three days,

I couldn't feel my mouth anymore, the hot sauce of the wings. Yeah. And the gout was kicking in. The gout was kicking in. I couldn't walk and I was slurring my speech. You on your own, because man, for town, I just... Man, for it's gone off with these vegetables. LAUGHTER MUSIC MUSIC So, your dream main course?

Dream main course would be... Crispy Duck. You know where the pancakesay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, spring onions, cucumber, I love the spring onions, not so bothered about the cucumber, but you know, you can put them there to make up the numbers, but but I like the whole doc, you know, when they bring the doc out, oh yeah, and then you I think I just like that it's like chicken, you know, the chicken we somewhat do, isn't it? Yeah. You feel like, yeah, and it's you mixing your own food again. Exactly. As I say, it's perfect. Yeah. They're bringing it out for you. Little pot of hoisin sauce in a part of it. So great. Big big part. Great

people. I do. Yeah. I don't because that's because when you get spoon, and you spoon, and then it's you've got your pancake, and you have to do that thing where you sort of smear it around. Yeah. Come on, let's give us a gravy, but would you then just do the duck and stuff first, and then pour the hoisting on top of the duck. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I always can do that for you. And then, you know, sometimes you think, I'll have a little bit, a little bit of the leg, ooh, bit of the skin, put that in there, different textures, rolling up. Sometimes just rolled up, so it's, you know, long and thin, cigar-like. Sometimes I full the ends in, it's more of a parcel. Like a burrito style. Yeah. Twist it, pull the thing through. Ooh, it's a duck croissant. You know, duck croissant. It's perfect. The duck crispy duck. And you

can't eat it. I know you can get the, you can get the weight rolls and that do a one that you can cook yourself. It's not the same as it's just like they're just a big, big plate of duck and there's go. There it is. All the duck get involved. Yeah. Has there been a week in your life where you've eaten nothing but crispy duck? Er, no, I don't, no, I don't think so. I mean, I went to China once and that would have been the perfect opportunity.

I once had pigeon, I ate a pigeon in China. Yeah. Yeah. On purpose as well. Yeah. You ain't just on your motorbike with your mouth closed. Yeah. Boom.

Great. Chair. How was it prepared? Was it fried or? Yeah. You were just on your motorbike with your mouth. Was it prepared? Was it prepared like was it fried? It was fried and it was sitting in the full pigeon. It was just a whole pigeon. Wow. Because I just pointed it stuff on the menu. Yeah. Because he, you know, he brought the menu out and it was all in Chinese

and he sort of handed it like go on then. Like, yeah, good luck. Yeah. I just went one of those one of those and one of those please and obviously went get that pigeon from multiple and it was in the full seat it was posed was posed like that and yes and it posed like it was running away yeah they got it they just throw it hot oil on it Yeah. Like part of its neck had been hit by a brick. Was it tasty? Not really. Not really. No. So yeah, Chris, crispy duck. Main course, I think this is the

first main course, crispy duck we've had. Yeah. Really? It's a starter, but not as a main yet. But if you have it as a starter, you want the whole, because I will not, if they bring it to the table and they've already made them up and there's like four on the, I want that. No, I wouldn't have that. Sharing with other people. There's two. Oh my God.

Like I'm off, but like, I think sharing is caring and it's important to teach our... Sharing is a thing, is alright, but not when it gets to the food. Oh my God, you know, there's two things that I will not stand for the rest of the way. You know when somebody goes, shall I order? Shall I order some, you know, for the table? You know, absolutely not. Yeah.

And, and this happens quite a lot. If I order a nice dessert, you know, say cheese cake or something like that, which is, that's not sharing dish, a lot. If I order a nice dessert, you know, say a cheesecake or something like that, which is, that's not sharing dish, a cheesecake. If it was like, you know, several, or anything with anything with ice cream involved, possibly with a lover, but if you're with a friend, so I mean, you know, me and me too, I managed it right. We were sitting there just the other night actually. And I ordered a cheesecake. Cheesecake come out. Two spoons. Two spoons mate. I'm like, you know, I don't want to cause a fuss, but I feel

like, oh, you get back here. Do I look like a cockney musician? Do I look like I'm going to play these for the entertainment of the other patrons? No. Well, take one of them spoons away. I'm not so vest and McCoy. I'll play spoons for people. One spoon, that's it. End of. That's what I'm interested in. I would say the cheesecake might be the shepherd's pie of desserts. He's got the layers there and I would imagine that would be an issue for you. It's interesting. I think if the biscuit was on the top and the cheese was underneath, I wouldn't have it. Yeah. So if I think you know why that logic, if someone flipped his chip and spy over and it was mash on the bottom, you know what? I think when it comes to dessert,

that's why some people would think that I know all the amateur psychiatrists now are going, like he's a control freak, he doesn't like people touching his food, he has to be like, I know that's what you're thinking, but it's not, it really isn't that because I think when it comes to dessert, I'll be the first in the queue for an eating mess. And that's probably the most mixed food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? That's probably the title. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, in those like really posh like restaurants where it's all like no smudge, no smudge and all that sort of stuff. Is it the other way around when they go

to eat messes? Yeah, chef. And it comes out. That's not messy enough. And they send it back. You know what I mean? Like it's too, yeah. Yeah. Well, they'd often do like deconstructed things as well. Oh, yeah. Well, I think it's the first episode of Chef's Table, the Netflix series. Right. Is that Italian restaurant really?

And there does, it's called some like, oops, I dropped the lemon tart or something. Yeah, yeah. And it's meant to look like, yeah, it's all deconstructed, but they've splatted it on the plate like it's all over the place, but it's deliberate. I can't believe the guy's name now. That's a matter. Yeah, it must be a bit of a tourer. Yeah, maybe. Unless he's called tourerie, I'm not interested. You see, you brought up a very important point there. I forgot that that was that was a term de-constructed. So is there anyone that specialises purely in de-constructed dishes? Because I would literally go in there and everything's de-constructed. You go in there

with the builders, how? Standing in the kitchen, help yourself to whatever's in there. I mean, there's got to be. What do you reckon? You've got recommendations. The fancy places still have at least one dish on there. I mean, it's less in fashion now, though, I think. Yeah. People sneer a bit now. But I think that's a great idea, a restaurant where there's tables out there. But when it's your turn to eat, you just get to go into the kitchen with all the ingredients and just like hot pot places. Yeah. Where you can go and you can just pick all your ingredients getting in the hot pot. And then but then they put it together.

You can't sit, you mix it. That's not a bad thing. I'm not having that. Chinese hot pot places with the boiling vat of oil on the table, basically. Yeah. And you get whatever you want. And you cook it yourself and eat it.

And you know what? Like sushi train. If they had sushi train, so it's like a tour piece, right? But instead of you going up with a plate and being given, you know, oh, right, I'll have some of it there's the meat. You pick your own veg. If it was a restaurant where the stuff came round, sushi train style, when the sushi comes around.

Yeah, instead of sushi it's just, oh, so there's a little ball of mint, lovely. Yeah, some of that. Well, we can't come back to this little bowl of mint. Little bowl of mint's going on, which you love, it's your favourite thing. The mint. The mysterious thing not on your menu. your menu. Well this is a Christmas episode. So that means we're also going to ask you your dream Christmas dinner or what you'd normally have on Christmas day. And I presume it's changed about the age. You used to be a veggie you're not now. Yep. That's right. It must have been different back for a while for a while. Well, back as a child, actually, now I come to see this. I'll tell you this and see if you can

amateur as amateur. We've got more psychology today. This might have affected me the man I am now. Had a Christmas dinner. Yeah. My mum, we had a lot of very elderly relatives and Nana's and lots of aunties and they would all come around and my mom used to do a massive like huge Christmas all of that in many ways like a sort of domestic tour. We And she used to dress as a joke. So I She used to stand with one hand right? She said thes on us.

Yeah, but she could see that. And then I would say endless jugs and then it got over. And she would do all the cabbages and all the manner of vegetables, right? And then we'd served it all up. And then my sister and I love the cranberry sauce right and there's a big thing of cranberry sauce there and it's I mean a large thing of cranberry sauce we're gonna get in quick because we want lots of cranberry sauce before the elderly relatives so we put all this cranberry in there and not

just on the satellite all over the thing that uh and then we sat down there with thinking cranberry so we got the bulk of the cranberry sauce here feeling pretty good and then we start everyone's just done we start eating and then we sat down there with thinking, cranberry, we got the bulk of the cranberry sauce here, feeling pretty good. And then we start, everyone says, now we start eating. And then we realized that that wasn't cranberry sauce, that was strawberry jam. And later on, she'd got some scones and stuff for it later on in the day, we had put strawberry jam all over our Christmas dinner. So I went and my mom said, dear, we've put strawberry jam all over our Christmas dinner. But he has the thing right,

one of the elderly relatives, like, like, ladies, probably early 90s at the time. And she had also put strawberry jam all over Christmas dinner. She said, oh yeah, give me some of that cranberry sauce. And then we realized, we said to my mom, we've put cranberry sauce, what we of that cranberry sauce. And then we realized, we said to my mom, we've put cranberry sauce, what we thought was cranberry to a strawberry jam,

and so Annie Hansen done the same thing, right? But she's tucking, she couldn't taste anything. So she's tucking in, gone, oh, this is lovely, right? Eating a full Christmas dinner with strawberry jam on it. My mom, she said, no, no, she's no nonsense woman. Although she did allow mango in the house, but she said, she said, I'm not redoing it, like eat it.

Yeah. And we went, we'll, Stanley Hansy, and she went, you've messed up, you're gonna have to eat it. Right, yep. So we had to sit there and eat a full Christmas lunch, covered in strawberry jam. I'm not gonna lie to it, it was nice. So we say I can't like, I'd happily do that if I'd made that mistake. So the main thing would be, as I said, love the brossel sprouts, heavy brossel sprouts,

you know, in green and in there. Peaks in blankets, I find that, sometimes too short, I'd like a longer sausage with more of a wrap. Full length sausage. Full length sausage. Yeah. And instead of the bacon going sort of horizontally, I'd like it, no. Yeah, that way, long ways. Yeah. I'd like a full, almost like a bacon tackle with a sausage center.

Yeah. That's what I'd like there. And then Turkey don't really like the quite dry meat, quite flaky, I like the turkey legs. The brown bits. So yeah, so I think, but full selection, chicken, you know what's really nice? Have you done that thing where you take,

and fat, I'm gonna try it with this. If you don't that, you can do it with a can of lager, but all Coca-Cola, and you shove it up the chicken's ass, and then you put it on a barbecue, and then you roast the chicken, and the can goes up there, gonna do it with this rhubarb stuff. You're gonna do a course of press, but you can't chicken.

Absolutely. Yep, I'm like the new Heston. Yeah, yeah, yeah,eston. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah. Yeah. Of course, that's, that's, that's, yeah.

They should do a slightly larger can with a spike on it. Brother chicken. Brother chicken. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Cause and press the rebar. Or maybe just a wide and like a wider base. Yeah. Yeah. I think if little chef did reopen and their whole marketing was that we've left lost noble, I decided what our menu is. And he's invented about just stuff. Yeah. I think you might actually do quite well. Yeah, I think so for a week. People go to the course to impress chicken. Yeah. And Vincent a bowl. Oh, Vincent a bowl. Just a little starter at Little Chef. Well, what do they call them now? Pock.

Pock, okay. Yeah, like that's the same in it. Well, you think Pock is the same as Mints and a Bowl? Yeah. It's an a bowl, though. It is an a bowl. Yeah. I mean, I've had to do that right.

Because you know how like Ramsey is always banging on about, you know, the kitchen nightmares and stuff. I'll only watch the first 10 minutes. I don't want to see them. I just want to, you know, see them just get angry. And they're, you know, but he always does the same thing. He goes, go, right, we're going to do these dishes. They're going to be simple dishes. This is what people are on the lunch break. You want to sound, which they want to soup. It's always that. It's like, you know, I reckon if you want and an establishment, you know, it does not have to have my name on it, but you know, mince in a bowl. Yeah, just call it mince in a bowl.

Mince in a bowl. What sides do you have? Read the same. Mince in a bowl. Is it got sauce or stew? Read the fucking side. Mince in a bowl. It's mince in a bowl.

Mince in a bowl. Yeah, well, I think, you know, I would fucking sign. It's an above. It's mince and a ball. It's a ball. Yeah, well, I think, yeah, I would like to see you open that chain. And I'd like to say it like chain. We're going straight in with the chain. Yeah, it's the media chain, isn't it? Absolutely. Yeah, you bought a lot of mint.

You can't, that's not what it's funny. And a funny, you should say that, actually, about buying too much mince. I got, I got reprimanded by Sir Alan Sugar because of my, it's a long story, but I basically, there was this pandemic, right, it was on the news and that, and all the theatres closed and so I appeared on the celebrity apprentice Australia, right? We had to run a restaurant. Now, I've never had a job, I've only ever done a standup, never had a job, and I've certainly never worked in a restaurant before.

Now, this didn't go out on the TV. So what happened was we had to run a dumpling restaurant. It was a Chinese restaurant, right? We had to run this Chinese restaurant. Now, I don't cook with established that, right? But one of my jobs is part of the project, right? I wasn't project manager, but it's part of the thing. What's your team called? We were called the funriarsers. And we got the menu and it said, this is how much means you're going to need to make a hundred dumplings, right? Then the chef turned up and I said, it says here, we need this much means for the dumplings.

Now, I'm not saying that the program makers deliberately gave us the wrong information, but this fella said, no, no, no, that's not 10 grams. That's like 100 grams. Anyway, the upshot was, I went to the market and I bought 100 times more means than what required. I knew it was going wrong when I had a full carrier bag of mint. Like the mint started coming out, but we'd committed to it. And so I had this giant carrier bag full of mint. So we get back and we come up with this idea of selling a golden lucky basket, right? So basically all it was was just some mince in some like dumplings, right? In a basket. Yeah. But we had some sparklers and when somebody ordered it, we charged them like five times

the price. It was the same dish. Yeah. But I would come to the table and go, golden, lucky basket, the golden, lucky basket. And I would sing and dance, right? And I'd come up with very hot in the kitchen and I was sweating a lot. So we basically a sweaty man with that stank of mince with sparklers, golden, lucky basket. And I would present it. And we're like, hey, sing into them like that high five in. And it wasn't till later that they'd go, we've been robbed here. Yeah. But what they didn't show on the television was when I went to the

supermarket to get all the mince and everything, I went into this Chinese supermarket. And there was like, there was all of these bars of gold made out of cardboard, right? And it looked like, oh, look at all these riches and there was like sort of money in that sort of thing. Just in the beanstalk, because they said you'd had sell the cow. And I think, well, if we get this stuff, right? Every time somebody orders the golden lucky basket, right? We will give them, it's only a piece of fake gold, right? But it's like part of the experience because that's what, because that's how you got to think when you're in business. This is what I learned doing the

apprentice. You got it. You got to give them experience, right? You got to make it. So what can we do? Could I have the golden lucky basket? A golden lucky basket, the golden lucky basket. A golden lucky basket, the golden lucky basket and we're light in the sparklers. And we're in one of the other labs. We come out and we present them with the, it's just dumplings, but with sparklers. And we give them this gold. And it's like, it's the golden lucky basket.

Yes, we're anyway, the edit that this out of the show. And the gold bars will have a lady sort of took me as she said, I can't just have a word please. She said, yeah, she said, you, you don't speak Cantonese, do you? Right? That's fair assumption, right? She said, you don't read Cantonese.

She did. And I said, no, she said, oh, so you don't like this school that you've given us. You don't, I don't know why they didn't leave this in the show because it's honest. It said, do you know, do you know what this is that you've brought from the supermarket? I said, it was a lovely bit of gold, isn't it? It's part of the, it's part of the golden looking bag. And she said, no, no, she said what this is. She said, it is Chinese funeral.

And as soon as she said their words, Chinese funeral, I thought this might get edited. And she said, and he said, what all happened is you go to the supermarket and you buy these representations of wealth that you place on the grave or on the memorial, would you put on the, on the trying to, yeah, just trying to the dead person. And that represents the take that with them into the afterlife. So basically what you've done is you've served us food and some Chinese death gold. And you brought that gold and lucky basket at the top of your voice. Yes, it would be like serving like in a traditional British restaurant,

it would be like serving up seashepherds' part with a wreath that said mom. Or not a wreath that said mom or in or not a wreath that said he joy and he got is not from meant to be on a grave so yeah so just normal Christmas dinner yeah normal Christmas your dream drink cross well it's got to be this doesn't it it's got to be this, isn't it? It's got to be, you know what, it's a two horse race between this and there's a brand Bunderburg. Yeah. Bunderburg up there in Queensland. They do the Bunderburg rum, but they also do a selection of soft drinks. And they do, have you tried lemon lime bitters? Yes. Yeah. No, I've not tried it. Bunderburg lemon lime bitters. Yeah. Yeah. No, I've not tried it. But then. Bunderburg lemon lame bitters. I would say is on a is on a par with this. But I'm going to say this edge is it because let's sugar in this. And it's coming for you. You can't the end the pocket.

Yeah. And I'm just I'm living the rhubarb dream. Yeah. So yeah, but it's all that Bunderburg here. Yes. Get it in some places. Yeah, you might have to get it at like, at a, see an X-PAT supermark and Aussie X-PAT supermark. In the earls court area. Very much available. I do like that. And I'm very fond actually of, I don't mind a non-alcoholic mojito. Yeah, there's a place near me that I've discovered does that. Right. I'm finding possible going to that shop and not buy a full bottle

of the non-alcoholic way. It's, it's, it's, it's, I just like things that are refreshing, you know, fendiments. I do like fendiments. I do like the, I like a rose lemonade. It's quite a tart regular, you know, the Victorian style, fever tray as well. I don't, you know, they do, they do a very nice ginger beer. The food.

But I don't, they've, I don't like it being described as Victorian lemonade. I don't, I like old style. We don't mind that. Traditional. But the word Victorian conjures up small children getting trapped in looms, going up chimneys, you know what I mean, rickets, that sort of thing.

And I'm trying to, you know, it's sitting in a lovely beer garden, trying to have a lovely, what a lovely summer's day in the back of your head, you're thinking about Victorian urgent, you know, getting trapped in a spinning journey. That's just market, that's just basics of market. Yeah, that's that market. You see what I've got.

Or sort of, or the, you know, the wheel that they used to have in prisons, you know, when they, like, I think Oscar Wilde was put on, you know, it was like the early treadmill. They used to, I've had so much of this. You can hear my stomach actually rumbling now. It's the creak of roo-roo about the whole thing. Just this happened all the time. People just talking about food. Just got all over the place. Oh, yes.

Someone's stomach, right? Are you able to enjoy a victorious sponge? I mean, I know that it's not victorious in sponge, but like it's the one that's left out, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, I know that it's not Victorian sponge, but like it's the one and it's the one with myself, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, it's a delicious dish. But I can't help it puts me in mind of her period of mourning. You know, it's like sure you can think about all of the the advances that were made in the Victorian era, but the fact that it's a victorious, what I just think, you know, just sort of, yeah,

that all those dark days. And yeah, well, here's what I'd say. Well, so you go to the Toby Carverley a lot, what she say is, you know, that's named after a chapter from Shakespeare, it's not a reminder of Shakespeare times and all the stuff that went on then, I mean, that wasn't a great time for

She was even 12 night, isn't it? Which is more of a laugh in it. It's yeah, it's one of the plays not the period. Yeah, exactly. I think I think if there was one named after see, if there was a chain of Carvista restaurants that were based on the tempest. Yeah, I don't think that was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, of course, Hamlet, the Mildsagar, yeah, that was, he was, they were riding on the cocktails of the bar. So I mean, he said quite an influence.

Oh, yeah, it's about time, Tom was said. Yeah, I do think it's about time, Tom wants to do it. Yeah, I'm doing it because it's a controversy. We arrive at your dream dessert, Ross. Yes. Exciting times. What we'll be sending one spoon over for this, does it? One spoon. Absolutely.

I will not share. I'm telling you that now. Like I say, if my wife wants to have, I'm, you know, fine, but still not in those, isn't it? Oh, like, in fact, going back to wants to have, I'm fine, but... Stem not in those, isn't it? Oh, like, in fact, going back to Manford, right? He, where were we? I'm gonna see a Southampton.

How much time have you spent with Jason Manford? We've hollered it together on a regular basis. No, we were in a show together. We were trying, traveling around. So we spent a lot of the day in the together. Both of you, like straddle, you know, the world of musical. Thank God you said that. Oh, that's God of God.

God of God. We were in producers together. But yeah, so we were on tour. So we go around the various different. And he likes it. So this is making me recontactualize the Dublin story. So you were performing a musical every day. Yes. And you were still eating chicken wings for lunch and dinner likes it. So this is making me re-contextualise the Dublin story. So you're performing a musical every day. Yes. And you're still eating chicken wings for lunch and dinner. Yeah.

Absolutely. But up and then tap out. You're going out. Yeah, but don't forget. Don't forget. It's like it sure is a week. There's a lot of dancing. You have to before every before every sure you have to do a physical warm, like a dance warm. And this is my point though. Yeah. You're dancing around, you're doing a physical warm up, and you're only in chicken wings. You must have felt like shit.

What, what's you jumping around and dancing and without only chicken wings and your stuff? Did you not fail off? Only chicken wings. Do you know how many chicken wings are you? I was like, I thought you meant, oh god, you've got too much chicken wings. How am I going to, how am I going to arabesque with this sort of what I mean? Do you not, did you not make you feel sick? No, you know, he has a thing like I have like a, you can't even compute what I'm saying.

No, I know. There's, there's on two occasions, two occasions have been pointed out to me, certainly doing stand-up. There's one time I ate a full pizza and then when straight on stage, didn't even Paul Thompson, I was going to go with Paul Thompson, and he just went, how is that even possible? And another time I was doing a gig with Sean Locke, and Sean said, he couldn't eat before he went on,

and he watched me eat a full platter. It wasn't TGI Friday's, but it was a Churchill's, it was like a TGI Friday style place. And I ate like a full TGI Friday's dinner. And she wanted to say that he literally couldn't believe that a human being could eat that much food. And he said, I literally, they went, you're on. And I wiped the, I wiped away the residue of the dinner. I just wiped it away and walked straight on stage

Wow, I couldn't concentrate. Go on. That's so no, it's protein, isn't it? Yeah, protein Filly self up with it and then just go on stage and dance it off So it interrupts. So you're in Southampton with manford. Yes, and I ordered a dessert And you know when they do that thing where they, they'll get the chocolate and they'll do the up and downy, you know, it's that, that up and downy thing. And I'd eaten, you know, I'd eaten whatever it was, the chocolate bombs here. And I'd eaten that.

And Manford literally reached across, wiped his thumb through the chocolate, licked it, did it again? Oh, he doubled it. Like 100% bad foot, man. Like he literally just, he'd seen that I'd left that chocolate to the end so I could, and he just went like that. And you know what? Normally I'd be furious, but I just thought I was such a balls. It was such a balls. Such a power play. The biggest power play you could possibly imagine, either like short of somebody's cake saying happy birthday, short of taking the happy off and eating that in front of the cell. Yeah. It's nice to me from good fellas. Oh, it was I was I just went, yeah, I'll give you that. Yeah, break eye contact the whole time. It was doing it. Just didn't even put his thumb in his mouth and like we

know that held the thumb up and licked it like that. In fact, my wife, uh, served birthday recently, I got her a birthday cake and you know how they do that where they get the the hot sugar. Yeah, yeah, and then they make it into the work. Yeah, yeah, that's the sugar. Yeah, yeah, sugar work. Yeah. Um, I think I'll be a string for when I look in for some sugar. You have come to the right place. Um, yeah, sugar work. And I thought, oh, that looks nice.

And I had the age in the A and put a crunchy crunchy. It's plastic. It was absolutely plastic. And I just, and you know what's it? And it was all crunched up. I've done it. It was too late. It's all of it.

Yeah. Is there a hydrogen mamas voice been like eating that now? Yes, it's on there. I've done it. It's too late. Is there a hydrogen man's voice been like eating that now? Yes, it's on there. You're eating it. Yeah. And my kids were just like, maybe you just, you see it in plastic, don't you? Just, I know it. Yep. Golden lucky, basket. Have I picked it? No, you know, it was having. No. Now, I'm the man for putting his family in his own. Yeah, all the chocolate sauce. There's an erotic treat for the Focrysmus time. Hey, ladies, some of you fellas out there.

Oh, this is... I'm glad we've... Glad we've stuck with the four hours it's taken to get to this point. Oh, yeah. I know, it's absolutely killed in there. Is some of you fellas out there. That's how they're thinking about. Yeah.

You know what? It's a long time, isn't it? Yes, it is, but it's funny seeing that that four posters in your head, that's what it's like but it's a better thing for fellas as well. We should chuck in some of you fellas. Not all of the fellas, not all of the fellas. I get not all of the ladies, so.

No, not all of the ladies. I'm not all of the ladies. I'm not all of the ladies. I'm not all of the ladies. Now, am I writing things from the episodes that I've listened to? Am I writing things in gyms that you love a sweet trolley? A dessert trolley. I do love dessert trolley, but I love desserts to be sweet. When people choose a cheese board, that's when I go for the

roof. I like sweet and savoury mixed together. That's delicious. But, you know, would you see that so that because I would see it with the cheese board situation, because I do like cheese board. Okay. In fact, I'll sometimes I would happily have a plowman's lunch, right? What, what's special about plowman's lunch? It's not mixed. Yeah, yeah. Very separate meal, very separate meal. And I would, I would have to have a Plownman's lunch and then a cheese board. What the fuck?

Yeah. Wow. What? Yeah. I respect that. I've not respect that. I don't know. But on a menu, where else you'd desert, but then the cheese, like I don't like it when the cheese board is mixed in with the, if it's mixed in with the dessert,

I don't even like the menu, if it's mixed. If you don't want to mean like, if it's less than a dessert. If it's a dessert, we go, no, that's a cheese ball, that's a separate course. You have your starter, you have your main, you have your dessert. Can I get you any coffee and some cheese?

Coffee, you want cheese to be with the coffee? I don't drink coffee, but I do. So instead of coffee. I'll have one of these wonderful brew bar drinks and then I'll have cheese. So that's, yeah. Love a dessert, right? Now, dream restaurant, so the first thing, and you might think was a bit, this is the ice cream version of lasagna, this can't work, right? In posh restaurants, they never serve a full

wall's vianneta, right? They never do it. And yet, the wall's vianneta is, you know, as a ice cream creation, I mean, it's a bit special. No one's ever done anything else like that, since the Walls VNAT. It stands alone, doesn't it? I went to a place recently in Brighton called the Windmill. Right. And you would not necessarily order this, but they did a VNATER affogato. I don't know what that is.

When you pour on a espresso over ice cream, but they did it with VNATER. Why don't you tell me about it? Because we do a food podcast together, and I try and save it. You should be texting me about it. I want to see your live expression when you learn about it. That's the best fucking idea I've ever heard in my life. It was brilliant. Did they pour it on?

Or did they let you pour it on? I think they poured it on. But I'm sure you could ask. Yeah, I'll ask. Because for me, that's... I do like that one. You know where you get the ice cream and then maybe some honeycomb. You know, you have the honeycomb in there

and then they give you the jug of the molten chocolate and you get to pour that on, then it hardens up. But the problem is, is that I really like crumbling all its forms, like I really like a crumble. So again, mixed, but I'll overlook that. I would say, if I could have, I like a summer fruits crumble, I like the apple, I like all the rhubarb, the crumble. Of course., if I could have, see several balls, right, get rid of the mince, wash the mince out of it. I want...

You know, I want new balls, did you dream of it? Yeah. No, they did have mince. You want the hint of mince? Just want to whiff up. Yeah, yeah, just to just like, like, reminiscence. Yeah, yeah.

We'll be served today. We'll be, you know, you've got the rest of us. Today we'll be serving you an apple crumble with a reminiscence of minced. Lovely. So I want several balls with a selection of crumbles. Do you want them organized by color like the Robinson's bottle? Oh, yeah. I want them all to be perfect that he's done again.

He's just so amazing. The mention of Robinson. Every time Robinson's done it, he's done it, coincidences. At eight times, trashed his laptop out. He's so funny, every time Robinson gets mentioned, he's the smash. He's got the C.M. hypnotist as me.

That was unbelievable. That's how he should finish this episode. Just start chanting the word Robinson's again and again and watch it was crazy. It's the entire studio. God Lord. That's it. Paging Mr. Pavlov. And no, what I'd like is I'd like all the crumbles to have the same topping on them. Do you want to which crumbles which?

It's like a three crumbles. Like a crumble roulette. So yeah, you definitely don't want it which? It's like a crumble, like a crumble roulette. So yeah, you definitely don't want it in the Robinson's. No, you can't. No, you can't. So you want it, crumble roulette. Crumble roulette. You just have to roulette. What's that roulette? That's the thing is what's a roulette? Roulard? Roulard? Roulard roulette? Oh yes, roulette. Yeah, not roulette. That's the way that's where they keep bringing the dishes back four weirders delivered to him.

Well, could I have the relay? What's a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, a rule, alette. Okay. I want to swiss rule for crumble. Yeah, I think I do Actually, actually, yeah, can we have that? Well, have that in the center. Yeah, yeah, we'll have a crumble

Roulard Yeah, surrounded by a crumble roulette. Yeah, but here's the thing for it to be a roulette, I would say one of them needs to be, or something terrible. Well, that's only if you follow, that's only if you follow the rules of Russian roulette, right? Yes. Because roulette, it's not like when you go to it, all it is, it's just a wheel, right? It's just a roulette wheel. You don't go to a casino and there's one square where if it lands on it, you get a shot. That's it. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah. So it doesn't need to have something bad on it unless you think it might be fun. Yeah, you're right. It's just you can lose. Sure. But I want 32 different crumbles, right?

Served on a roulette wheel. No, I don't. I want 31 crumbles and the green thing, you know, the zero house, that can just be a little bit cream. There have to be quite a big roulette table of the wheel. And then I sit there and the table, the whole table, now we're talking, this is what I want in my dream restaurant. And then all the diners sit around the outside, you get dessert chips, right? You put your chip down. I think gambling chips, not gambling chips. It could be chips, if you like, each number represents a different crumble. You spin the, you spin the wheel, you sit back. Oh, hey, 34, no more crumble bets, please.

The thing lands cherry and apricot. And then everybody gets served. Everyone gets cherished. Everyone gets that one. And then, you know, you can have just one crumble, or if you want to, do you want to double down? Anyone, anyone? And then some people will get up and leave the table. Exactly. So people have been laughing.

Man, for that one after three years. Yeah, God yeah, well, he probably wiped his fingers in mind, wouldn't he? He'd be like, you know, yeah, and then you lose it a year. Oh God, yeah, well, he probably wiped his fingers in mind, wouldn't he? Maybe like, you know, yeah, and then you lose it. And then it's down to, then it's down just like a Bond film. It's just you and a fella spin the wheel. What is it now? You know, forest fruits and something else.

Yeah. And then so selection of crumbles, walls being at in the middle. Yeah. The rule, let rule out the Cumble Rulad. Cumble Rulad. Selection of crumbles on the roulette wheel. Then a large jug of hot chocolate sauce. Okay.

But it will need to have like one of those heater things because I don't want to go in hard in the jug. Yeah, yeah. So metal jug, ceramic handle, heated up. And you know those taps you get in posh kitchens that give you hot water. A cooker. A cooker. Is that what they call?

Yeah. KWK. What's the arse of a bird, isn't it? It's not a fixer. A cooker. I like it. A cooker. I got that.

I was confused. I want one of those hot tap. What is it? A cooker tap. It's a cooker book. A cooker book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a key.

I want one of them with custard. Yeah. So I can just, yeah, like, constant hot custard just dispensed. Yeah, amazing. That sounds delicious. I mean, I'll be right back. Yeah, is there going to be a crumble in particular?

You've got your fingers crossed for? I like the rhubarb. I like the apple. I like rhubarb and apple. I want three. The major menu back to you. And I'll see how you feel about it with us. Yeah.

You would like sparkling water with one big bubble. I've changed my mind. I want a redo. Yes. I'm a drop of lime cordial. Yes, please. Poppodoms with the sources, maybe some inch into your mouth, it's up to you. Start a steak tartar with the egg on top main size portion. Medium, right? Medium, right. Make course. Crispy duck pancakes. Yeah.

Christmas dinner, you want turkey, chicken, bustle sprouts, long pigs and blankets like their intact. Yeah. Side dish, chicken, bustle sprouts, long pigs in blankets like they're in tacos. Side dish, chicken wings, drink, rhubarb, coleslaw, press, desert, a crumble, roulette, a crumble, roulette, cream, a jug of molten chocolate and a tablet of spence is custard. You've got to say, for all the stuff we've talked about, apart from the desert, you listen back to that menu, you've gone, it's quite a normal menu. We've really been around the houses on stuff. We haven't got cheese board yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet.

We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet.

We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. We haven't got a two-hour meal yet. restaurant. I mean, like the journey to the choices, you know, I think I've just applied them. But I think that I think yeah, if you went to I think if you went to a restaurant, you'd go, no, I think that's a nice, that's a nice respectable meal. And then, hey, it's a real, it's got, if anything, I mean, look, I've been with my wife for many 23 years now, but I think if

I was a single man, I reckon I don't think there was any ladies or fellows who would be disappointed with that. You think that does, I mean, that depends what day it is, I guess. A first date, I think suddenly doing crumble roulette at the end and having a custom tap. Well, I think that's when you know that you found someone good. Yeah, that's when you, that's when it's like, yes, crumble roulette at the end and having a custom tap. Well, I think that's when you know that you found someone good. Yeah, that's when you, that's when it's like, yes, crumble roulette. I love that. Yeah. If they're like, oh, I don't know about this crumble.

Oh, I thought you meant like, like on a first date, on a first date, you could stuff yourself full of crumble. You could be drinking from the tap because you know, it's the first date. Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Nothing's going to happen. I'm not going to happen tonight. It's just, you know, I'm a respectful guy. I'm just going to film myself full of crumble. Yeah. It's just it'll be back on the Jesus, you know, yeah, yeah, so you're safely into a taxi, right? On the Craig

David scale. Yeah. Yeah. On the Craig David scale. Yeah. Once we're starting to push towards the weekend, I mean, all custard. No No, custard tap. No. No. So why is that advice there for any young, any young lads entering the dating scene? Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony,

Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony,

Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony,

Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony,

Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Craig Davids, seven days of Christmas. Yeah. Instead of the 12 days where he got his true love, it was just some last he met in a subway. Merry Christmas, Ross.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Ross. Well, there we are, James, an absolutely epic episode with Ross Noble. What a menu, what a guy. And he didn't say noodles. He did not say noodles to be fair to him. You know, I would have been weird if you'd said it on the Christmas bit. Yeah.

But he had to draw a bit jam. He had to draw a bit jam. So who used to say? Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? Thank you very much for us coming in. Don't forget you can see him on tour.

His new show, Jibba Jabba Jamboree is touring now. Go on to Rossenable.com for tickets., go on to russenobl.com for tickets. And also while you're at russenobl.com, his last show, Humanoid is available as a special there as well. So do go and buy that for all of your russenobl needs. And I should say before we carry on Yard sale of centers there, Christmas pizza to the studio today, I forgot that it was being delivered and ate a big lunch. I did not forget I ate two big slices. It was delicious. Always like their Christmas pizza. Ever since they asked us to collaborate with them on a Christmas pizza, I've made sure that I've not missed it every year. This one's delicious. So do get yourself a lot of DR cell.

We'll be back, you know, pretty soon with some best of episodes of the year. The only episode you need to listen to all year of off menu. No, it's the only episode you listen to all year while you clean your house. There'll probably be two of them. They'll probably be topping three hours. It's a good podcast. So there's a lot of best off. But the best of the guests, a lot of highlights.

Yes, all you need. Absolutely. And also we need to include bits from every guest. So they don't feel left out. Yes. The new series will be here next year. New series of off-menu? New series of off-menu, James. Do you know what series it is? 21. It's 11. Merry Christmas to you all. Hope you have a lovely festive period. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Goodbye.

Today's episode of the Off-Men You Podcast is sponsored by Audible James. That's very exciting, Ed. Hey, Ed. Yes. Ignite your imagination. What does that mean to you? Ignite your imagination makes me think of premium audio content, audio books, podcasts and originals all available. Would you know it from audible? When you visit audible, Ed, there are endless ways to ignite

your imagination. With over 750,000 titles, including bestsellers, there's a listen for every type of listener. I want to discover all the best in audiobooks, podcasts, and originals featuring authentic Canadian voices and celebrity talent. You know the most authentic Canadian voice that I love unordable? It's the book Glutton by Ed Gamble, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy.

That's right, it's a very, very Canadian, it's an authentic voice. You know what I love James? I love your books. Oh yeah, that very Canadian. Yeah, your last one's too long of a title, but I loved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't remember what it's called now. Good stuff. Also, there's new audible Canadian originals. The downloaded, which is a sci-fi adventure, and that features Brendan Fraser and Luke Kirby. And of course, don't forget, the Missile Tomerder's two James. It's's Kozy Mystery and it features Kobe Smolders.

A first listen is waiting for you where you start your free trial at audible.ca. Hello, I'm Sarah Pasco and I'm Carrie Adloid. You might remember us from the peak of our careers appearing on the excellent off menu podcast. Is the greatest we've ever felt and we know we'll never achieve that again. But if you remember those episodes and enjoyed what we did, you might be a fan of our book choices and our new comedy podcast, Sarah and Carriards Weirdos Book Club. Imagine us not talking about food, but talking about books.

But with the comedians you know from off-menu, like Nish Kumar, John Kern, Sophie Juga and more. We're not copying them, we're doing our own thing. It's totally different. It's about books. It's about books. There's no genies involved. like Nish Kumar, John Kern, Sophie Juka and more. We're not copying them, we're doing our own thing. It's totally different. It's about books. There's no genies involved. It's a space for the lonely outsider

to feel accepted and appreciated. I'm just like James A. Kuster's bedroom. A place for the first nude luxury in a real book club but doesn't like wine or nibbles. You can read along, share your opinions, or just skull-corrown in your raincoat like the Weirdo you are. Thank you for reading with us. We like reading with you.

I'll be ending one as well.