Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 219: Jamelia (Live in Birmingham)

Episode Date: January 27, 2024

It’s our first episode from the Off Menu live tour! Kicking off our run of bonus live episode is Birmingham Superstar Jamelia. Follow Jamelia on Twitter @jamelia and Instagram @officialjameliaRecorded by Matt Mountford-Lister for Storm Productions Group live at the Birmingham Hippodrome. Edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ed. Yeah, man. I'm hungry for some political comedy from a very silly boy. Got any recommendations? Yes. My tour, Hot Diggity Dog, starts in March. Very exciting. I'm sort of doing March at the end of April, and then I'm doing May and June, really, but it's a great show. It starts soon. Tickets are on sale now. I'm doing Five Nights at the Hackney Empire in June. It's political comedy from a very silly boy. Thanks for asking. What if I wanted to go and see a political comedy from a very silly boy? And by the way, by the way, Benito, you're going to have to include my tour plug in it because Nish isn't paying for this. Yeah, Nish isn't paying for this. Yeah, it's just because, Benito, because you're promoting the tour. You think you can use us? This is this is tour. This is tour promo. This is

Nish's tour promo. Nish don't kill my vibe. Nish don't kill my vibe. Look, the show's going to be brilliant. Nish is always brilliant. He gets so available now. He's a fantastic comedian. It's going to be, it's going to be brilliant. He'll love this. He'll absolutely love this. Yeah. And look, just because the promoter of that show is also our producer, he so happens to have the biggest advertising platform in the UK. Yes, congratulations, Nish. And I just want everyone to know that Nish is a tight ass. He's a little tight ass, so that means he really badly needs your money. So you need to buy tickets and go and see him. And that little tight ass will keep that money.

So do go and buy tickets. Nish don't kill my vibe. Tickets are available now at nishkumar.co.uk. ACAS powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian. Here's a show that we recommend. partition and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every

other Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcast everywhere. Acast.com. Hello, and welcome to the off menu live episodes. This is the first live episode that we're releasing James. Just to be clear, we're not doing this bit live. No, this is not live. We're not dying on our ass.

If you, if you, what, no, I mean, if they think this is the radio now. Yeah. Because we're saying this is a live episode. Yes. And I think the listener needs to know this is not live. Why are you saying the radio? You know this isn't on the radio, right? But that's what I mean. If people think this is like the radio when it's live.

Oh, right. No, no, no, no. This isn't happening now. Yes, so when we say live. For us it is. For us it's happening now. Yeah. But for you hearing it is not.

So when we say live episode. We're going to play you when we went on tour. Yes. And we did the podcast live with a special guest on each tour day. And that's what we're about to play. The fun of an audience. Yeah. And that's why I've not done my traditional intro because I do that on the live episode. Ed does it on a live episode. Yes. And this episode was recorded at the Birmingham Hippodrome on the 8th of October, 2023. It was the first of our tour shows. And the special guest was the wonderful Jamelia. We couldn't believe it.

We couldn't believe that Jamelia said yes. And also just to let you know, if you weren't at the live show, there might be some jokes in this that don't make sense to you, but they're called back to the first half of the show where we went through the audience's dream menus. Yes, yes. And specifically my intro on a lot of these live shows specifically relates to something that happened in the first half.

If you don't understand that, that's absolutely fine. You weren't there. You're not supposed to understand it. But the rest of it, you'll be able to get to grips with. Fun game for yourself. You can imagine what was said. Yes. Make your own first half in your head. We also get the audience to pick the secret ingredients for the episode. And the secret ingredient that was selected this week was gray peas. Yes, which is a specific thing. Specific Birmingham thing.

So listen out for gray peas. Pray that Jamila does not say gray peas. This is the first of the off-menu live tour shows with the brilliant Jamila. Jamila. Jamila. Jamila. Ed. What's up, man? Why don't you kick this second half off like only you can? By doing one of my famous intros that genuinely, even though this is the first date of our

national tour, I didn't remember I had to do until I was in the dressing room just now. He forgets every single episode. Yeah. It's really fun to watch. Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the potatoes of humour. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not it. Cutting them into the oblongs of friendship. Dipping them in the orange.....baton...

..of the internet. Oh, no, the oil was going to be internet. And frying them in the oil of... Welcome to the podcast! That is it, Gamble. My name is James A. Caster. Together we own a dream restaurant, and every single week we invite in a guest. We ask them their favourite ever,

start a main course dessert side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week our guest is... Jamelea! CHEERING Very excited to have Jame Jamelia on the podcast. This is obviously a hometown show for Jamelia, so we're very excited. Hometown show, but who knows?

Will there be choices that you can relate to? A Birmingham classics? Will there be some that a Birmingham disgraces? We will see. Who knows? You already know the secret ingredient. We'll have to go through that. Just keep that in your head. Shall we just crack on, James? I say...

We just crack on. So, without further ado, this is the off-menu menu of... Javiniya! I Please take a seat welcome to the dream restaurant guys what you doing James? Huh? What are you doing? Yeah, thank you We do not want James here we need the genie Everyone imagine imagine you're having it Welcome to media to the dream I'm really spending you some time. Thank you.

That's a big entrance to follow up. It was a bit rubbish for me, cos I could see him crouching down. LAUGHTER Sorry. That didn't happen. That never happened. Jamelia's lying. Got a lie on the pod. It's a real shame. That would be a terrible genie. If you got a lamp and you opened it up and you could see him just in there like that

That would be less magical wouldn't it? Yeah, that's quite demeaning for the poor genie actually That's why you should rub it first Do you really just did a face that suggested what sort of podcast have I come on? The best podcast in the nation. Yeah. One off. Sorry. Sorry. We got Slameliod.

We got Jam Slammed. Early doors. I know we were jamming and slamming tonight. Don't you apologize, Jamelia. That is the perfect response to that. Yeah, you got us, man. What are the other good podcasts? You got any favorites?

I mean, we don't normally do shoutouts to the podcast. The only podcast I listen to is the off menu podcast. Yeah. Yeah. And judging by the chat we had before you came out here, Mae'r ffordd yn ymddweithio'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n g But you weren't going to compliment us, I think? I feel like we're starting off on the wrong foot now. So basically what I told them in the dressing room was that I watched them on Haunted, and I was very annoyed.

Because they weren't playing the game properly. They were messing about. That was Jamelia's first words to us. I saw you on Celebrity Hunted and we were like, here we go. I actually found you quite annoying. I really did. But I was really excited when I got asked to do this. I was like, oh, o'ch ddweud! Felly mae'n gweithio. Felly mae'n gweithio, ac rwyf wedi bod yn gweithio. Felly mae'n gweithio. Felly mae'n gweithio!

Felly mae'n gweithio! Felly mae'n gweithio... Felly mae'n gweithio i ddweud. Felly mae'n gweithio i ddweud yma'n cefnodd cyfnodd. Mae'n gweithio i ddweud. Felly mae'n gweithio i ddweud yma'n dweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud. Felly, mae'n dweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r Like you supposed to be hiding, it's like a hide and seek but you were like we're here It's the last thing they'll expect. Yeah They're trying to catch you if you keep saying here we are we're here and show them your face They're gonna go it can't be that easy and they leave you alone. That was our thinking. Yeah, and then you shot them with we

No, no shot them with water, but I told them it was piss More mind games, Jameela. You got to do this when you're on the run And what we found is the best way to live your life is to anger ex cops and military men By telling them that you're spraying them with piss Because then they really rough you up quite a lot So you don't even get the pleasure of actually shooting them with piss and you still get beaten up rough you up quite a lot. So you don't even get the pleasure of actually shooting them with piss and you still get beaten up.

Yeah, they didn't like us at all when we did that to them, to be fair. But in general, I thought we did really well on hunted. Okay. We were in Birmingham for hunted. Yeah, Ken straight, we came straight to them. Ken straight here. Yeah.

Straight here. Yes, because I remember I recognised where you were. Yeah. I was like, in that town recognized where you were. Yeah, I was like in that town Yeah, maybe that's not good if people didn't recognize where we are Hearing that out loud you came and we got we instantly got Tiger bites pig bow buns That was our first one that wasn't our first food on the run. We immediately went to a Michelin Starred restaurant I had a Mae'n ddweud o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan. Mae'n ddweud o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r rhan o'r llwych, ond mae'n gwneud yn gwneud yn gwneud. Felly mae'r llwych. A'r ddweud James yn yw'r wyg.

Yw'r wyg bryg bryg. Yn yw'r wyg, yn fwy o'r mynd i'w meddwl, rwy'n meddwl yw'r wyg bryg bryg. Felly yw'r wyg yn ymlaen i'w ddweud? Felly yw'r wyg? Felly yw'r wyg yn y rhan, a fyddai'n gweithio. Felly yw'r ystod y gallwn ymwneud? Yn ymwneud, mae'n gweithio i'r cardau, mae'n gweithio i'r media yw'r ysgol. Mae'n gweithio i'r restaurant yw'r ysgol. Yn ymwneud, mae'n gweithio i'r ysgol, ond mae'n gweithio i'r ysgol.

Yn ymwneud, mae'n gweithio i'r ysgol. Yn ymwneud? So we served a purpose in a way for... Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Your foodie? Are you a foodie? Is this going well or really bad? I'm not sure. It's got... Every time you say anything, everyone pisses themselves laughing.

So I think it's going well. And it's at our expense as well. So from our perspective, we feel like shit, but you're really breaking it. I'm loving it, Jemina. This is how most people treat me all the time. It feels great. It feels great? Always. I'm sorry, because I'm really excited to be here. We're very excited to have you here. Especially with this backdrop it's wicked. The set's mad isn't it? It feels unnecessary. Once we sat down to have a chat with you, it just, yeah, it does not feel necessary at all, does it?

What was the vibe that you told the designers? Yeah, here she comes again. Slam jam, baby. Slam jam. We basically said, just do as many fart clowns as possible. It's about food. I quite like it. That's the popper down behind us, the popper down there. Okay.

Yeah, were you wondering what that was? About half the audience went, Oh! Oh, Jesus, how much of that popper-nita? Sorry. I thought it was ond, ond. Mae'n ddweud, mae! Mae'n ddwe i'n gwybod i'n gwybod, yn fwy. Felly, mae'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod. Mae'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n gwybod i You do get scared of food, you're in the wrong, show me my bubba. I feel like I'm being really rude, I'm not a rude person at all.

No you're not. But anyway. I know they didn't catch the entire first half but I called one man a cunt three times. You're not being moved. Okay. You're right, you're right. You're the height of manners compared to what they had to tolerate at the start of the evening. And you're right.

These people love food. For example, there's a woman over there who regularly drinks soy sauce. Drinks? Yep. Swicks out the bottle while she's cooking to trick herself into thinking it's normal. It's not. You just got slumeliad

Jam slammed I commissioned this TV show. Yeah, there's an audience with Jameela, but she just slams everyone And then and then looks really guilty about it immediately afterwards. Yeah It's got a funny quirk. I think so sauce. I think it's normal. It's not. I'm so sorry. I feel awful. I slimy... I'm trying to stop slamming people.

Do you cook as well, Jamelia? I love cooking. I recently got to the final... Well, final five. But you're still the final of Master Chef. I saw it. Yeah. I will mention that a few times. That's fine.weithio. Mae'n gweithio.

Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio.

Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio.

Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. and cook old soy glugger over there. We always start with still a spot in water, Jamilia. Do you have a preference? I do, but, OK. My preference is still, but I really hate when you say still, and they bring you tap water in a bottle.

Because a lot of people, I want a bottle with the lid screwed on. Not like, like, not. You know when they have those bottles with the... Mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod yn ymwneud, mae'r bod No, this is great. We've done over 200 episodes of this podcast and I don't think we've had anyone angry about those tops to bottles before. Because they've realised it's a scam. Scamelia. So many TV shows that we've come up with tonight. Don't know what's happened to me, Matt. It's the rebooted version of Watchdog and it's called Scamelia. Welcome to Scamelia. First of all, the bottles, the bottles, the go...

What the fuck is in that sheet? That had water, that had still water. And I don't want to sound like a cheapskate, but I never know, like, are they charging you the same price as they charge you for sparkling? For the fake still water? I mean, I know it's still water, but it's from the tap, y gallwn gwahodd ar gyfer ystod o'r ddweud o'r ddweud. Rwy'n credu'r ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud,

ond mae'n ddweud. Mae'n ddweud o'r ddweud. Mae'n ddweud o'r ddweud. Mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud o'r ddweud. Mae'n ddweud o'r ddweud. should start calling tap water fake still water. Yeah. That's a great name. Yeah. Tap water. Fake still water. Fake still water here. In a restaurant setting. In a restaurant. If I was in someone's house. You wouldn't go, that's fake. I mean to be honest, I'd ask up for the cup of tea because you boil water then and yeah. Yeah. But if they didn't

offer me a cup of tea then I'd just be like, oh no, I'm alright. Because you hate tap water. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu.

Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. Felly, dwi'n meddwl i'r cofytu. because I am quite, I have got manners despite how we started this podcast. What do you not like about tap water? It tastes different and also I'm very particular. I'm not promoting.

Well, I am now, I guess. I'm not promoting but I only drink heavy. Ah, keeping it teal. I am. Oh, good stuff. I only drink Evian. And when I was offered water today, I said, yeah, can I have it, but can I have it in a plastic bottle?

And can I make sure that the lid screwed on? And he was a bit like, oh. Absolutely amazing. I think you're the only person in the world still going, and I will have a plastic bottle, please. Well, that's what he told me. He said, we only have water in cans, and I was like, why is it in a can?

He was like, oh, it's better for the environment, and I was like, yeah, I still have it in the plastic bottle. Thank you. So hold on. Hold on a second. Jamidia, the main reason- You slam mother nature. No.

Do you know what, I really did so much good for my reputation on MasterChef and in this one episode of this podcast I'm going to be right back down there as the most hated woman in Britain but let's carry on. I love that. Yeah, it might be incant. Go out there and get me a fucking plastic bottle

and then afterwards I want you to go and throw it into the sink. Well, the fake water comes from. yn y bwysig cyflwyno, ac yn ddefnyddio, rwy'n gwybod i'n gwybod i'n ddweud i'n ddweud. Mae'r ddweud o'r ddweud. Dym ni'n meddwl? Yn ystod, mae'n ddweud yna'n ddweud i'n ddweud, mae'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud. Mae'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud. Yn y ddweud, rwy'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n gwybod yw'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio Cano, is that what it's called? Cano water? Cano water. Cano water, is it yours?

Is it yours? Your brand? No. Oh, okay, sorry. No, the way he just said it was like, you named it Cano Water. Is Evian your brand? No, but I've been drinking it for like...

Cano water, it's Cano Water. Available from all good water stores. Imagine if that was my brand. And you rocked up here and went, I don't want that shit. By the way, you're annoying or celebrity-answered. What's under the show start? Just listen to it in the car on the way here. I'm going home. Not really. I'm loving it. So you don't trust it because it's in a can? It's not that. Sorry to continue to grill you on this, but it's blowing my mind. No, I've just never heard of it being in a can.

Now, Evian has got like this kind of milky taste and... Don't tell me that's coming up on the dream menu. Oh my goodness. Just a heads up, you've completely split the room again. They're not agreeing with that. It's got calcium in it and I think that's why it has. I don't like milk and I don't drink milk so I've always thought if I drink this then I'll be getting my calcium in.

And as I'm saying it out loud I'm like, you idiot. Oh my goodness. So you get your calcium from water because you don't drink milk. Yeah. Can we start again? No, I get it. I don't trust milk because it comes with those foil tops and anyone could, you know, remove that, replace it with fake milk and put it back on. And you know what fake milk would be.

Oh my God. a dyna'r ffake milk wedi bod yn dweud. Ddod yw'r ffake milk? Felly, mae'n ddweud. Felly, mae'n ddweud. Felly, mae'n ddweud? Mae'n ddweud? Mae'n ddweud? Mae'n ddweud, ond yn y bwysig, mae'n ddweud y top. Felly, mae'n ddweud? Mae'n ddweud. What kind of water do you want? Still water, but in a bottle with the top screwed on.

Yeah. So no one's messed with it? So no one's messed with it? Pop it up a little bit! Pop it up a little bit, Jamilia! Pop it up a little bit! That genuinely scared me then. Yeah, well if you listened to the podcast before, it wouldn't have scared you, Jamilia.

No, no. I got you popper there, didn't I? Yeah, you did actually. Yn ymwneud, yw'n ddweud y pwg ar y pwg, yn ymwneud, yw'n ddweud? Nid, nid, nid. Rwy'n meddwl i'r popodau, yn ni'n meddwl? Rwy'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl I definitely do. I feel like it's unfair to put poppadoms and bread next to each other. They're not in the same category. I would say poppadoms, and I don't want to offend anyone here because yeah, I just don't. But poppadoms in the same category is like crisps, no? No. Okay, maybe I'm wrong.

A poppadom's crispy. Yes. Yes, no, I know what you mean. So I'm wrong. A pop inum's crispy. Yes. Yes, no, I know what you mean. So they are, I mean, in terms of texture, definitely in the same category as crisps, but I wouldn't put them in the same dining category. I'd say if you got to a restaurant and they bought out a packet of watsits. I'd love that. I love watsits.

Maybe that's going to be your choice. Okay, so I would choose bread but I don't like hard bread, you know like with that really thick crust. Yeah. Yeah, I hate having to fight to get into it. I also don't like bread with butter in a restaurant. Ooh. It might be our most controversial guess yet, Jamia.

You don't like bread and butter in a restaurant. Do you like it at home, bread and butter? At home, I don't like bread and butter, but I like toast with butter, but it's got a melt-in to the toast. Sorry, I'm going too deep here. No, you are absolutely not. This is what this podcast is all about.

Yes, it is. But in a restaurant, the bread has to be warm. Felly, mae'n gwybod i'n dweud. Felly, mae'n gwybod i'n dweud. Felly, mae'n gwybod i'n dweud. Felly, mae'n gwybod i'n dweud. Mae'n gwybod i'n dweud. Mae'n gwybod i'n dweud. Mae'n dweud. Mae'n dweud. Mae'n dweud. Mae'n dweud.

Mae'n dweud. Mae'n dweud. Mae'n dweud. Mae'n dweud. that Dippy thing. Oh I got him back, I got him back. And I like to do that Dippy thing. So yeah. That sounds good. Give me a cheer the bread and butter people, the people that like the butter. And olive oil and balsamic. Some people being boiled alive as they love it. How long have you been into that for? Because for me, olive oil and balsamic, that wasn't an early day's thing.

That was like when I was in my 20s, maybe I tiptoed around that. Well, I first ate out anywhere, well, apart from the chip shop, but I first ate out when I was about 20. So I'm one of those people who, no, I was one of those people that, you know, I started going to a restaurant and then I kind of became a restaurant person because it was like, oh, I like this.

And so, yeah, I always feel a bit posh when I do that whole, when I know about it as well, when I know what to do, like I know I'm supposed to pour the balsamic into the oliver olifol, o'r fwy o'r rhaid i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r ddweud yn ymweld i chi. Mae'n gweithio i chi, mae'n gweithio i chi'n gweithio i chi. Mae'n gweithio i chi. Mae'n gweithio i chi, mae'n gweithio i chi, mae'n gweithio i chi, mae'n gweithio i chi, mae'n gweithio i chi, mae'n gweithio i chi, a'n gweithio i chi, mae'n gweithio i chi, a'n gweithio i chi,

mae'n gweithio i chi, a'n gweithio i chi, mae'n gweithio i chi. Mae'n godd. Felly, mae'n gweithio. Mae'r ffair yn y cyfnodd yn y gallu'n gweithio, ond mae'n gweithio'n gweithio. Nid, nid. Nid. Nid yn ymddi'r cyfnodd. Nid yn ymddi'r cyfnodd. Nid, nid yn ymddi'r cyfnodd. Felly, rydyn ni'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio.

Rydyn ni'n gweithio'n gweithio o'r cyfnodd o'r cyfnodd. Rydyn ni'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod yn ymddi o'r llwy, o'r llwy, ac mae'n gwybod. Mae'n gwybod yn ymddi'r llwy, o'r llwy, o'r llwy. Yn ymddi'r llwy, mae'n gwybod yn ymddi'r llwy, o'r llwy. Yn ymddi'r llwy, o'r llwy, o'r llwy. Mae'n gymuned yn ymddi'r llwy. Mae'n gwybod yn ymddi'r llwy. Mae'n gwybod yn ymddi'r llwy. Mae'n gwybod yn ymddi'r llwy, o'r llwy. I think you know what this is about. You mean sending out the fake still water again?

I can't get over what happens to balsamic vinegar when it goes into oil. It's fucking magic, isn't it? It's like a lava lamp every time. Exactly. Blown away by it. It is. And then when you dip it in the bread, it does like another little thing. It's like, whoop.

Did that again? That's a good impression. yn oedd y llwynt. Mae'n ddweud. Mae'n ddweud. Felly, ydych chi'n gweithio'r llwynt, ac mae'n bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig i'r bwysig Let's get into your menu proper now, Jameelia. Yeah, yeah. Your dream starter. My dream starter. Now, because I couldn't have it, I feel like it's kind of like bread, and I'm also, I feel, I'm just looking around, and I feel like I'm gonna alienate everyone now,

because I don't think, I don't like to be presumptuous, but you don't look Jamaican to me. So. So. but you don't look Jamaican to me. LAUGHTER So... LAUGHTER That's a fair assertion of this audience, I think.

And let me be assure you, when we came out in the first half, we were devastated about that. Because... We had been told. We're like, yeah, well, this is what we get. So, I would say, if you haven't tasted one of these, just write this down and make sure you do, like within the next week, DM me and tell me how amazing it was.

But it's called a fried dumpling. Has anyone ever had one? Oh, do you see? You see, that's because we're brummies. We're very multicultural and we try each other's foods. You've changed your tune. I know. Very quickly.

No, but I forgot I was in Birmingham, so it's kind of like, I did actually, you know. So have you guys tasted fried dumplings? Oh, I love that. I don't think I have. Have you? I don't think so. I said I don't think I have. I do appreciate.

What did you have? I deliver everything with the same tone of voice. Have you? I don't think so. I said I don't think I have. I do appreciate... What did you have it with? I deliver everything with the same tone of voice. Do you remember what you had it with? No, I've not had it, Jamila. Oh, you haven't had it? Interesting.

And where did you have it? I thought you said you had it. This is why I was so good on what I like to you, man. I never knew if I was lying or telling the truth. Same tone of voice for ever. I want to hear more about it, like. It's just, it's kind of, that's why I was saying it might be a bit controversial because it is a bit like bread.

But it's not because it's, oh, it's just delicious. But have it as a starter. And I did say I would mention MasterChef a couple of times, Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n...

Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Felly mae'n... Put up with that Jamilia. No, it was fine. I consented. I was very happy. Who were you up against in Masterchef, by the way? Oh, you were up against about 50 other people. So to get down to the last five was quite good. Who was in the final?

Yeah, in the final five was Luca Bish from Love Island. Can I tell you a bit about Luca Bish? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't say before you say this to it. I don't know who they are, but if someone from Levin then maybe some food, I'm not eating that. No way. Riddled with STDs. I would imagine. He was really lovely by the way. Everyone on the show was really lovely. Yes, yes, okay. But he's like from a very well-to-do family. His dad supplies fish to all the Michelin-starred restaurants in London.

And so he was getting trained every day by Michelin starred chefs. Well, I thought when he went on Love Island, when he went on Love Island, and he's like, I'm a fish man. Oh, hey. That's the thing, you'd think he was like proper out there, do it in that, he did nothing to do with it, he's just a nepo baby. And...

LAUGHTER CHEERING This Slovenian full force. LAUGHTER Bitch dead. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this.

I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. I've ever seen this. He's he's lovely and he did work hard, but we just didn't all have you know Michelin starred chefs I'm gonna say it right Michelin yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's absolutely bonkers that you did your ads been on the violent Do you know how Yeah, he is what you want you know

I thought you had. Yeah, he is. Well, he was. Have you? No, do you mean? No. One of the contestants. A few years ago, there was a contestant on a love island called Curtis Pretchard.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! You do look a bit like you. Right. Yeah! Yeah! Good point. Sorry. Sorry.

No, I know that. You might just sound. That's the sound point. Yeah. You do look like you. But yes, that's who James is referring to, Curtis Pritchard. Oh, okay, yeah.

And then I thought it was all over, and then Curtis Pritchard learned how to do stand-up for a charity show. So there was just loads of pictures of him with like, he's trying stand-up comedy for the first time, people were going, that's a bit harsh on you, Ed, you've done it loads. They're married now.

Ed married him. you, Ed. You've done it loads. They're married now. Ed married him. Nice. Congratulations. Thank you, Chameleon. Who else was in the Masterchef finals? I mean, this was before we came on with the... I do want to hear about these dumplings, but I also... Oh, yeah.

Well, I'll ask you throughout the episode, who was in the Masterchef final. Let's get back to these dumplings. OK. So, these dumplings, what they got in them? Felly, rydyn ni'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd yma, ychydig i'r ffyrdd yma, a fyddwn ni'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd. Felly, rydyn ni'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd yma, yna'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd. Felly, y ffyrdd yma'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd yma, mae'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd yma, mae'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd yma, mae'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd yma,

mae'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd yma, mae'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd yma, mae'n gwybod i'r ffyrdd yma, mae'n gwybod i' mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae' my presentation or lack thereof. I was just like, hey, you just have to eat it? Like, why does it need to look? Well, I kind of agree with you. And also, if it made Greg go, whoo, imagine what he would have done if you'd sexed it up. Yeah. Exactly.

Fucking gross. That would have been gross. Disgusted man. Did you know that Greg's not a chef? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a greengrocer and a professional rugby referee. I said to him, I got a bit carried away after my chef round. You know, we get to work in the restaurant. I got a bit carried away, went back in the kitchen,

I was like, yes, chef. He was like, I'm not a chef. I'm a greengrocer. I was like, what? So. He was like, I'm not a chef. I'm a greengrocer. I was like, what? So why are you presenting, master chef? They didn't keep that beating. I don't know why. Do you also, did you notice about Greg

that he has a compulsion to make bad puns at all times? Dad jokes, but do you know what? I love a dad joke. Oh, I really love a dad joke. I'm making that sound really assorted. It's not, I don't mean like that. I was like, oh, I love a dad joke. Oh, I really love a dad joke. I'm making that sound really assorting. It's not like I don't mean like that. I was like, oh, I love a dad joke. Yeah, at all times I met him recently and he went, oh, just let you know, I do, he warns people because he can't help it. Just to let you know, I make jokes. And we were doing a radio show together and Beyonce was playing. He said, I love Beyonce. I said to my friend the other day. I love I love Beyonce and he said yeah, it's great helps. He float along in the water

I said no, that's buoyancy And but he looked like he couldn't help it and he looked angry himself for saying I've not met him before Is lovely sounds like sometimes if you don't have an anecdote you can just move on I've not met him before. But, uh... It's lovely. Yeah, it sounds lovely. Sometimes if you don't have an anecdote, you can just move on. And I've not met him before. ACAS powers the world's best podcast.

Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi- Here's a show that we recommend. the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts. launch, grow and monetize their podcast everywhere. acast.com. Dream main course. Right. I recently, again, I think this goes to my trust issues. I love, I do love a restaurant, but I recently discovered a restaurant in Birmingham.

It's a Korean barbecue called Haidilao. They serve you all the ingredients, but it gets bought to you by a robot. Just stay with me, stay with me. Now, when we asked you to do a dream restaurant, it didn't have to be a restaurant that you've seen in a dream. No, no. It is amazing.

So they bring you all the ingredients. And you kind of cook it yourself. Yeah. And I kind of like that, because you know that it's been cooked well, you know? And it's delicious. You order the meal, and then they'll bring you spring onions, and I don't know what everything is,

chicken, prawns, whatever. And you put them in this like these It's like like these vats of like some's water some's like a soup some's like a thing But you cook the whole meal yourself. It's hot pot, right? Yeah, hot pot. I think it's cool. There's a Heidi Lau in London as well. It's really really good. Oh is it? Okay, it's not unique. It doesn't have a robot though. It doesn't have a robot? Not the one in London doesn't have a robot, it goes with people. Yeah, you like would probably steal it, that's why.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Just the, it's, I don't, literally you're so quick and you're like, bang! See you later! Then, oh my god, I'm so sorry! Completely transformed. Yeah.

I didn't mean you, but I just mean like... London. You mean London isn't general. Old people in London. No. I'm just saying, in Birmingham, we can be trusted to have nice things You stole Tom Cruise's car What didn't yeah, I thought Tom Cruise had his car stolen around it. Is that right? Yeah Yeah, I did hear that Tom Cruise was in town in the ballring. He came to Birmingham, he had a curry, right? Twice. Same curry twice.

Had his photo taken outside the curry house, loved it, went back to his car. Someone had nicked it. Probably a Londoner on holiday. Tiny little car though, he'd just pick it up and walk away. He's small. He's small, because he's short, Jamelia. He's short. I love this, hot pot, so a robot brings it to you

in Birmingham. Yes, and we all do respect, this sounds awful. It sounds it, but it's so fun. Yes. Oh, I haven't mentioned yet. I've actually got four daughters. And so we, and I don't know why I feel that this, no, it is important because it's like an interactive meal. But like, I've got my eldest daughter's 22.

I've got another one. She's almost 18, a five year old and a baby. Everyone's entertained. Oh, goodness. Everyone's entertained in this like because you've got the robot, you've got the cooking, you know, you've got a... and they're very nice to kids as well. They give the kids... The robots are nice to kids, yeah.

There are like servers in there like to help you out. So what are they doing? So the robots bringing stuff out. What are the people doing? I'll be honest, I'd be pissed off if a robot brings me the food and then I have to fucking cook it myself. You're a robot. But it's fine. It can be used in a robot, are you? The robot can make it. Well, no, because it's part of the experience. It's really fine. I love hot pot. I think you're right. I think it's brilliant. And you get different flavoured

broths to cook everything. You get like a spicy one with like beef tallow and you can get all sorts. And maybe I don't know if it's because I'm new to it. Like I'm fascinated by it. Like I've tried lots of different cuisines and stuff like that. But I just thought that this was genius. And as I said, it might feed into my trust issues, but it's the fact that oh, I cooked it myself

So I know it's all right never had a problem. You trust the robots. Yeah, I love the robots Big problem right now Jimmy Scary and these robots coming out How do you know one of these robots like when there's the uprising these robots aren't gonna like destroy us all Are you trusting these motherfuckers? I don't trust these robots they're not like putting together the dish they're just they like this and they just come up to you come up to your table you take the food they go okay what would you do if the robot comes over and it brings the food over and puts it down it looks at Mae'r rhan o'r ffordd, a mae'n dweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud i'n ddweud, ac mae'n gweithio'n gweithio a'n gweithio'n gweithio.

Mae'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio as well but when you put it in and cook it it's actually really nice like you something that you never knew you wanted to taste but now that you've tasted it like even now I'm thinking about it I'm like oh I wonder how long they're open till like I'm the mash king you're strictly potato your old school though aren't you yeah maybe the mash king could turn his hand to mash in prawns. Yeah. What kind of like, was it proper like, look like mashed potato with prawns or was it just like?

No, no, no, it's just, it's just prawns, or like imagine like minced prawns, I don't know. It's like a little pile, like a, it sounds disgusting, and you like scoop a bit, drop it in the water, wait till it goes pink, and it kind of floats to the top when it's done. And it's delicious. yn ymddiol, ac mae'n gwybod i'r gweithio, yn ymweld i'r gweithio, yn ymweld i'r gweithio, ac mae'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio'n gweithio. A mae'n deall. Rwy'n meddwl i'n gyflwyno ar y dyfodol. Mae'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn ystod, yn yst flying around and then he serves them to the table. I wasn't braving off, because I wasn't sure how hygienic it was.

The old trust issues coming back. Also, I love the way you explain that only to me, even though I was the one who brought it up and I just didn't know how it would happen before. It is amazing, yeah, they whip them round and stretch them out and stuff, yeah. You didn't trust that? No, no, no, it was so entertaining. I just I'm not there yet

with the with the you know airborne noodles because he kind of like whips them around the restaurant and like after coal will be in and stuff like that you know I'm a little bit like... Well what? After Covid a man swinger noodles in the air was like, that's probably got COVID on it. But a robot coming out with all your food on a tray. Does it be fine? Yeah.

Are you sure? Yeah, I don't like thinking about it. It's because this was in the news. COVID sticks to noodles more than it does anything else. I missed that. If you're whipping them around, you get all COVID on the noodles. So COVID-y noodles. COVID noodles?

Alright, that's really funny. What on James? First time she said that, we've been on for 45 minutes. I didn't know that's what we got told if it was funny. It's crushing to find that out 45 minutes in. I think it's a great choice. I absolutely, yeah, I love hotpot. I've been to a branch of Heidi Lau. It's excellent. It's really good fun. Who else has been there in the Birmingham one? Anyone been to the Birmingham one?

Yeah. Sounds like more people have got to go if you all live here. It looks like that person's got a bag. Have you got, is that a bag from Heidi Lau? No way. Love it. What did you get in the bag? We got little cookies. We got little cookies!

Love it. The happiest guy in the world! Did you meet the robot? Yes! Wicked, did you see the noodle man? Yes! Love it. Did you eat the noodles? No. Interesting.

Fucking hell. I guess I haven't seen this noodle man to be fair. He could look absolutely gross. Yeah. It must be. Is it something to do with that particular man? No one wants to say it. Yeah, I don't trust the noodles after COVID.

Put it that way. It's just sneezing and spinning the noodles after COVID. Put it that way. It's as sneezing and spinning the noodles round. What he does is, you're not seeing it, he puts one up here and then pulls it out of the master. To noodles. I love the thought of the noodle man having a cigarette break with one of the robots. Well, they're like you. It's easy for you to say they're fucking like you. thought of the noodle man having a cigarette break with one of the robots.

Well, they like you. It's easy for you to say they fucking like you. No one wants a single noob. You just have to be more charismatic and friendly. In your head, is the robot like a man robot who like walks around like that. It's like an R2-D2 or like one of those ones. Yeah. They're there noodle man, it's okay. One day they will eat your noodles, you'll just have to blow your nose. See you later, I'm on the clock. Work. You know what it's like.

Yeah, yeah. I've had it all before. Your dream side dish. Side dish. Have either of you guys tried planting? Yes. Has anyone tried planting? Anyone else? Love it. love it. So, okay, do I need to explain what planting is? Some people might not know. Okay, so it's basically like a banana that you fry, but it's delicious.

I mean, banana is delicious as well, but like a savory banana, but it's not savory. It's not because you serve it as a side dish. You don't... It's not a fruit. You don't eat it as a fruit. You don't eat it like you'd eat a banana. Am I explaining it right? Actually, don't forget what one is now. I did before you explained it. I know exactly what plants are most.

And now I have no idea. I'm not sure if I do either. No, it's just delicious. It's the most delicious thing. You can cook plant in so many different ways, but I like it fried. That's my favorite way. And you can have it with any savory meal, although I put it in a sandwich on MasterChef.

I told you I'm going to mention it a couple of times. Yeah. And they told me, oh, this doesn't go together. It wasn't my finest moment. I was very embarrassed because I'd been banging on about it all day, but yeah Yeah, Greg and what's his name John? Sorry No, I love John I love John Tarot and I was dead

No, I love them and but yeah, and yeah, it didn't go down too well. It's time for another quick update on who was in the final five. Are we getting another person from the final five? Yeah, who else? You, Love Island. Strapping, because one of them is going to blow your mind. Win Evans, who, do you know who Win Evans is? Yes, James is going to be excited to find out who Win Evans is.

He is the guy who did the go compare adverts Wow Do you hate that man? That's insane. I'm obsessed with that guy. Yeah Compario, huh? Geo compario is the name of the character Yeah, you know that the character called Geo compario. Geo, you do not know that. The character's called Gio Campario. Gio Campario? How do you know that? Well, just know it. Just something I know. Did anyone else know that?

Some people know it, most people didn't know it. Greg Wallace had loved that. It's a funny pun, isn't it, Gio Campario? Go compare. Is that a pun? Don't think it counts as a pun. Not very good at comedy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Don't think it counts as a pun. Not very good at comedy

Do you remember that time Jamilia thought you were funny? Oh it was six minutes ago. I'm gonna carry that in my heart always When was he like because it's a thing with him Win Evans. Yeah, I've just learned is that's his name. I Think it's amazing that he did this just mascot character Yeah, and it's got all the way now to like the adverts are often him playing himself in some sort of like yeah Yeah, yeah quite sad melancholy advert with him as himself with and then the go compare man comes in But then they both are on screen and they both kind of look at the camera like, this is our life. And it's all very, like he's playing himself and he has a chat with the Go Compare man that's always like, you know, well, this is it old friend, here we are still. He's like, oh yes, we're still here. Well, I guess you better do it. And he

goes, Go Compare, then they both go. And it's amazing. I've never seen an advert do that before. Well, yeah. I mean, he's actually my friend now. Like, I love him to be. Strap him for a slam? No, no, no, no, no. No, I was just going to say, like, he has done so well

offered those adverts. Like, I'd love a gig like that. He's, yeah, he's changed his life. And yeah, he's proper. I don't want to say too. He's yeah, he's changed his life and yeah, he's proper I don't want to say too much, but yeah, he's um Yeah, he's done quite well The great thing is as I suspect which immediately if we just keep looking and leaving silence She will just tell us exactly the thing. She doesn't want to say

exact balance of is Yeah, he's done quite well. I'm not going to... Sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it. I feel so silly now. This feels like at some point during the final, when Evans walked up to you and he was like, How's it going? How are you doing, Jamila?

Yeah, good. I'm just trying to work on this plantain sandwich. They say it doesn't work. It's really stressing me out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm having a bit of a nightmare myself over there, not going too well. Not that I need it, though. LAUGHTER OK, good luck.

I said, Jimmy, I said I don't really need it. LAUGHTER Yeah, good on you, Wynn. I'll see you in a bit. Yeah. Might check my band balance while I'm here, won't you? LAUGHTER Ooh! Yeah, I guess that is a lot. I'm just going to leave my phone here. You can go compare. Shall I tell you one thing though? The most brummy thing I did was I did ask him,

can you get me any money off my car insurance? He can't. That's what Tom Cruise asked when he was here. Doesn't have to worry about that now. Fried plantain, we're going for it. Yeah, yeah. Not in a sandwich. Yeah.

Cool. That's delicious. Your dream drink. Right, my dream drink is, have you ever had carrot juice? Yeah, yeah. Love it. Okay, carrot, not just the juice of a carrot.

It's like. Oh, sorry, I thought that's what it was. No, then. It's a reframe what I think about everything today. Actually, you know what, sorry, this is really unprofessional. I'm gonna change what I think about everything today. Actually you know what, sorry this is really unprofessional. I'm gonna change what I had just because I feel like this is a better answer. I do want to, but you can't leave us with the carrot juice, Mr. We do need to hear what carrot juice is

if it's not the juice of a carrot. Carrot juice is delicious just as delicious as the drink that I'm gonna choose. Yeah but what is it? What is carrot juice? It is the juice of a carrot but it's mixed with like condensed milk and nutmeg and cinnamon and it's absolutely delicious Can you use evaporated milk instead? Absolutely not. No, because they are interchangeable in a lot of things Definitely not. It would be disgusting I feel like that's an inside joke. Slam him to fuck Jimmy I feel like that's an insult to OK. Slam him to fuck, Jimmie.

James's mum did a recipe for us once. We did a cook-along together on Zoom during the pandemic. Because when we went back into the second lockdown, because someone had fucking noodles. And... Out of context. Anyone takes that out of context? That's me, cancel forever. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That sounds bad. If any of you are filming this, just clip that up and put it online. Curtis up his usual tricks. I'm fine with that. You could do that. Anyway, James's mum said I'll do this and I did the recipe and it was shit, it was a bad recipe. That's all you need to know.

She did not, she gave him a precise recipe and he ignored the recipe, it said condensed milk, he ignored it and replaced it with evaporated milk and then complained half because it didn't taste how it was supposed to. Yeah, that'll do it. She's a shit cook. ond yn ymddiwch i'r llwyfodol yn ymddiwch i'r llwyfodol, a ddyn nhw'n ddwy'n ddwyfodol, ond ddwy'n ddwyfodol, ond ddwy'n ddwyfodol, ond ddwy'n ddwyfodol. Dwi'n ddwy'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol.

Mae'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol. Mae'n ddwyfodol. Your honour. No, I can't fight him here in front of everyone. I'll get him in the dressing room when he's not expecting it. Speak about my cussing my mum out on stage. Terrible, terrible. So you're not choosing the carrot juice?

I'm not going to go for the carrot juice, just because I would like to educate the audience, and maybe you already know what this is, but have any of you ever had something called sexy juice? Sexy juice? Yeah. And it's not, hang on. No, it's not that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Hang on, I've been tricked before with the carrot juice. Ha ha ha ha ha. OK, sexy juice. Right, sexy juice. It's basically the same as carrot juice. Right. Ha ha ha ha ha. But...

Ha ha ha ha. as carrot juice, but you substitute the carrot juice for pineapple juice. Maybe that's why it's called sexy juice? You know that thing about pineapple? Yeah, oh yeah. So let's crack back. I never noticed that. So let's have a let's crack back So we've worked out why it's called sexy juice there'll be people in here who don't know what you mean. Explain what you mean. Right. Oh, I hope my mum doesn't listen. Alright, moving on. Right, so sexy juice. Sorry, did you say you want the recipe? No? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's pineapple juice, condensed milk, bit of nutmeg, bit of cinnamon. It doesn't sound all... It's not fancy, but it's delicious.

It really, really is. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to speak about sexy juice anymore. Fair enough. We all know why it's called sexy juice now. Respect the guest's boundaries. We're not going to make you talk about sexy juice anymore. Respect the guest boundaries. We're not gonna make you talk about sexy juice anymore. I feel like I've made it so awkward. I'm so sorry. Let's go back to carrot juice. Let's carrot juice. That's my drink. No, that sounds like very nice. I mean, do you think you've now ruined sexy juice for yourself though? Yeah.

Now that you've put that in your head? No, I still have it. Good on you mate. We can bring you like a tumbler of each if you want. You can have some sexy juice and some carrot juice. Thanks. Yeah, no worries. Thank you, really appreciate it. No, don't be so quiet. Does that work with any other foods? Say again, sorry. Does the thing work with any other foods? The thing. The pineapple thing that we're all thinking about now and won't stop thinking about until after the show's done. Does that work with any other foods? I don't know.

Are there any like parent and child in the audience? There are. There's loads. I'm so sorry. No, because I'm just saying because they might have to have the conversation on the way home or something. I mean, you don't have to. Yes, you don't have to. We'll do it now. The most awkward question.

Sometimes Are there any parents and children? Sometimes, when two people love each other very much. Look, I don't know the science behind it. I don't know if it's true. Me neither. Don't look at me. I don't know. Sorry, I was looking at Ed. And I don't know if it would work for other fruits. Well, we've got about 14 tour shows left. Yep. I've only heard the myth about pineapple. Yeah. So tomorrow night at the Royal Aberhall, I'll eat pineapple before the interval. Yes.

And then we've got a way to open the second half, haven't we? That probably exists in fan fiction somewhere anyway, so we might as well. Oh my goodness. Yeah, loads of fan fiction about us, fucking. Yeah. You just talk about food and then those grubby little pervs online. Well, I don't mind it. No, because you're always the dominant and I'm always getting fucked and crying my eyes

out. I love it. Look at it. Fucking grubby little bastard. I'm always the one drinking the pineapple. Put it that way. I was SpongeBob here. Oh my God. Oh, if you had told me this is where this was going gonna go, I'd have still been here.

Oh my goodness. Well, I don't like saying this sentence after what we've just been talking about but we arrived at your dream dessert. Pineapple outside down cake. Mae'r ddweud yma. Mae'r ddweud yma. Mae'r ddweud yn ymddi'r ffynol yma. Mae'r ddweud yn ymddi'r ffynol, ac mae'r ddweud yn ymddi'r ffynol, mae'r ddweud yn ymddi'r ffynol. Mae'r ddweud yn ymddi'r ffynol. Mae'r ddweud yn ymddi'r ffynol. Mae'r dd in the final. And I got really cocky towards the end.

And so I don't know if anyone saw my last episode, but it was an absolute, I'm gonna swear, shit show. And it's just because I didn't practice. I really thought I was a chef. I really thought, oh, I don't need to practice. I've got this. I really thought I was gonna end up in the final. Felly, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, rydyn ni'n ddweud, r I'm going to describe it to you, because I don't know exactly what it's called. But I just kept watching all these like, chefy videos on YouTube, and I was like, oh, I'm going to do that.

So let me describe it. So it's like... It's... Try not to look at him. Because you've just done a whole bunch of things which we inherently find funny, and we know we've got to get to the end of the show. But we both find it really funny that you were going make a dessert you don't know what it was called Can't remember you watch some YouTube videos of Sheffy things and thought oh I'm gonna do that every single point there

Was something that we both know the other one finds amusing I was trying not to look at him And then caught him at the last minute looking at me going Go for it Jamila, sorry. So I've got to describe it now. It was going to be like, I hate stuff like this but I was going to do it anyway because I thought I was a chef. It was going to be- But you hate it and it's your dream dessert. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So it was going to be a deconstructed...

Yeah. You can eat sat... Yeah, exactly. Not really saying... Already annoyed. It's taken so long to get here. If I would be that person in the audience when I hear this, but listen to what I thought I could cook.

Right. So a deconstructed apple crumble with a custard foam with sponge sugar inside a chocolate sphere and it was gonna have like smoke coming out. I started the show making dumplings and I thought that I could serve John and Greg. That was what I was gonna have. So that is my dessert. Dunno what it's called, but bring on the jokes. Ha Can't do anything with that. If every guest figured that out yeah say that say that's food choice then go bring on the

jugs. Guess we've got nothing. I think that that example just shows you how deluded I was by the end because you do actually go mad but you actually go mad. Like, you actually go mad. Like, I really... No, not on a cooking show. LAUGHTER No way. People stay very sane on those things, you know? You've got to keep things in perspective, Jamila. Honestly, like, I was making pasta from scratch. I worked in the restaurant, like, one time,

and my dish was me repeating the meal in a Michelin-starred restaurant. Like that was one of the dishes that I made on the show. I was so deluded. Like I was literally like I can do anything. I'm actually a chef. I was so gutted when I got voted out. like... Had you practiced the deconstructed apple crumble with custard foam inside a chocolate sphere with smoke coming out of it? Not at all. Not even one element of it. Well, I've made an apple crumble before.

So you were halfway there, basically. Exactly. How hard can it be? Yeah. I made deconstructed flapjacks once. No points for me either. I mean, it does sound nice though. That's how that would taste like. So you're saying that what you would like for your dream dessert is that done well.

Yeah. Do you want it still made by you so you've got that thing of like oh I actually did the thing that I set out to do or do you want it made by someone else? The robot or someone? I think I'm I think I'm all too aware now that there is no way in hell I could create such a dish so I would like it made for me please. But this is the dream recipe. I is the dream restaurant. I'm a genie. I can give you the power to make that dessert and you can make it. I didn't know you could do that.

What the fuck? No because... No one's ever questioned my powers before. Something I can't do it. Doesn't feel good, does it man? What the hell? What I just saw was a restaurant so we just get served. I didn't think like I could the chef, because I like that.

You know, I like how I did that. I like the way you're like, I didn't think I could be the chef. You cooked your starter on this menu. And your main course. The robot was born into you, and you made that. You've cooked everything so far on the menu. Yeah. I didn't know I could be the chef. Humboldt, humboldt, yes. OK, yeah, I'd like to cook it myself.

Because this is the dream restaurant. You've now have the skills to cook the deconstructed apple crumble with a piece of foam inside of chocolate sphere with smoke coming out of it. Would you like, when you've cooked it, you're eating it, and then John and Greg come in, and they try it and they go, congratulations, you are the master chef. Would you like that? This is the dream restaurant. I think I'd prefer the noise.

Ugh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. No, because imagine like, not just imagine, when you make a meal for someone and they, you know, like, oh, that's lovely that is. You'd much rather hear that than, oh, you've won master, I don't know, I didn't want to. You'd much rather hear them do that., you've won, Master. I don't know. I didn't want to. You'd much rather hear him do that.

Yeah, I mean, not necessarily that, but just groans of appreciation. I'm sorry. I can hear enough of that when they're glugging down the pineapple juice. I'm getting ready for that one. I'm going to read your menu back to you now, Jamid. I see how you feel about it.

OK. You would like a sealed bottle of still ebion, bread with rosemary salt with olive oil and balsamic, starter you would like curry chicken fried dumplings made by yourself and Masterchef, main course hot pot from Heidi Lau served by a robot, side dish fried plantain, drink sexy juice and carrot juice so you can drink and compare. Thank you. Oh! Maybe that's...

Next advert is him as himself, him as the go compare man. Good question. Drinking different juices and sucking each other off. That is funny. That's a good impression. Desert you would like deconstructed apple crumble with a custard foam and sponge sugar inside a chocolate sphere and smoke coming out of it made by yourself With the powers I've given you as the genie That sounds good I also like that Jameelia is so committed to having a sealed bottle of avian that she hasn't even fucking opened it Doesn't trust it as soon as she opens it. Yeah, it breaks the spell

You're right to do it because with my genie powers powers. I've turned it into piss that this is this is piss just look at it on hunt it Thank you so much for coming on the Off Menu podcast, Jamilia. Jamilia, everybody. Thank you so much. And thank you very much every single one of you. Thank you, my audience. You've been lovely. We very much appreciate you coming. Good night! Well, there we are. Wonderful. What a wonderful way to kick off the tour that was, Joe. Thank you so much again, Jamelea. We've thanked you profusely in the corridor afterwards,

even though you had made mincemeat out of us and slammed us. Absolutely. Mastlessly in front of the audience. We were still ever so grateful. And we still are to this day. Not the first of our live guests on, well, the first, but also not the only guest on our live tour who went away, got fantastically dressed up and looked amazing and then came back and realised we'd just put some t-shirts on. Yeah, we put our own merch on and went on stage.

Yes. So, sorry. Sorry. And we'll be releasing the rest of the tour shows every Saturday in the order of the tour. So, you've got 14 more of those to come every week as well as the studio episodes. You can see because it's weeks in order. You can see if we get more or less tired as the tour goes on, you know, first five were five nights on the bounce, five nights on the bounce. Bear that in mind. Bye. Bye. Bye! Hello, it's Rob Orton here. I don't need to tell you this, but you've been listening to the Off Menu podcast with Ed Gamble and James A. Caster. Now I've listened to the off-menu podcast a lot and my favourite moment from any episode was when John Kearns said, hmm, pop country. Hand up the popcorn? Nearly.

Nob? Yep. Ah, my knob. My knob's going through the table in the bread. I love that. And I've watched that clip over and over and over again. Now, I'm here to tell you that my podcast, The Robot and Daily Podcast, is returning in 2024 on the 1st of January. My podcast is a mix of poems, stories, musings, and there will be a new Robot and Daily Podcast episode every single day in the year of 2024, including weekends.