Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 248: Huge Davies

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

Comedian and podcaster Huge Davies brings disturbing news. Another great episode of Off Menu with Ed Gamble and The Boy. Listen to Huge Davies’s podcast ‘Slime Country’ with Ed Night and Sunil Patel wherever you listen to podcasts. Watch Huge’s special ‘The Carpark’ on YouTube for free. Follow Huge on Twitter and Instagram @hugedavies Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the grated cheese of humor, putting it onto the plate of the internet, sticking it under the grill of chat. Cheese on a plate. Charlotte Church. Charlotte Church, cheese on a plate. Shout out. Shout out. That is Ed Gamble. My name is James Edcaster. We own a dream restaurant. We invite a guest in every single week and ask them their favourite ever start a main course dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week our guest is... Huge Davies. Davies. Huge Davies. Brilliant comic comic does musical stuff on stage as well. So there's some of my favorite comedy songs ever. Yes.

I love it. The dry wit of this boy. Very dry boy. But yeah, his musical comedy is my favorite sort of musical comedy because it's perfectly intertwined with the stand-up. It just feels like a proper good stand-up performance. Like the closest person I can think of is like is Bill Bailey. Yeah. Who does like amazing stand-up and is very proficient. It all flows into the songs, then flows into the next routine. Fantastic stuff. Really good. Not sure what uh, Hugh's eating

habits are. No. What he likes to eat. So very excited to hear. Get some answers to our questions. He has a poddy. He has a poddy to be fair. Slime country that he does with Ed Knight and Sunil Patel. Yeah. And he also does the film quiz podcast with Nick Helm as well. So do listen to that. Yes. Look, we will kick him out though, if there's a secret ingredient, which we've decided upon

now. Yes. If he says a secret ingredient, we're kicking him out. And the secret ingredient this week is cubed feta. Pre-ubed feta. Precubed feta. This of course comes from our chat with Florence Pugh that we had, where we laid into pre-cubed feta. Yeah, the two of you hated it. I didn't know you could get feta in any other form. But you know, really glad when stuff comes up on the pod in the chats now, when a guest

says they really hate something, because we can use that up on the pod in the chats now when a guest says they really hate something Yeah, because we can use that as a secret ingredient in the future. Exactly. Very important So I guess you know if he says pre cubed feta do we get Florence Pugh to kick him out? I think so we'll get Pugh in. Yeah, she can kick out a huge. Yeah, and then take over his episode Yeah, then she gets another another meal. Absolutely fine. Without further ado, this is the off menu menu of HUGE DAVIES! Welcome, Huuge, to the Dream Restaurant. Good evening. Huuge! Huuge Davies! Ooh! I wanna know what food do you like? Now you've not actually come out the lamp yet so. Is that the way the genie comes out in this one?

What comes to the dream of Australian huge Davies? It's better you for some time. Okay goodness. What's the genie look like? However you want me to look at you. It's your dream. It's your dream. Right.

You don't want to know what I want the genie to look like. I do want to. I think I do, definitely. Kind of like loads of, like too many arms, like a spider. So eight arms? No, like three spiders all together. Like maybe like, what, 32 legs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great.

32 legs. Big mouth, as large as the spider's body. Okay. Yeah. Horrible. Really greasy too. Yeah. Dripping. What colour am I? Like a jet black, but there's sort of like pink in there. You can't tell it's flesh or the colouring. Can you see pink in the mouth? No, the mouth is also black as night. Yeah, it's a void. It's almost hypnotic. You look into it and it's like looking into forever. And the genius says, I can't even speak English, I can't even make out what it is. It's just like a rough wind. Yeah. So it's sort of like Pennywise's real form. Yeah. And that's what I want.

Are they wearing any clothing? What, the spider? Don't be mad. Yeah, what clothing are you finding for 8 arms and 32 legs? I guess stuff that has 8 arms and 32 legs. It's not off the rack, mate. No, it's probably not off the rack actually. Beats TK Maxx, they've got loads of that. Yeah, they do actually.

You've got to go to the back of TK Maxx and they've got all that stuff. I mean, it's a disturbing beginning. Yes. It's not often this early in the podcast where someone says when you're looking into the mouth, it feels like you're looking into forever. Yeah. It's a disturbing podcast, man. People don't know it's not being filmed, is it? Yes. Yes. Okay. Well, you know, you don't, if you're listening, you won't believe what it looks

like in here. It's crazy. You do the podcast studios and like, um, it's in the top of a warehouse, like an office and the podcast is a big window here and we're like looking out over the warehouse. There's just loads of kids in there making off-menu merch. And then all of them look like Benito. They're all clones. In the breaks, Acaster goes down and screams at them. Yeah. Spider form. Yeah. Like Mrs. Tweedy and chicken run. Yes. Pretty much. Yeah. I mean, yeah. One or the other spider form or Mrs. Tweedy and chicken run. It's horrible. Yeah. It's really screaming. Yeah. Can't hear it through. It's good merch. Check it out on the website. Yeah. Check it out on the website. Actually

the little merch. Yeah. Do you have much? Yeah. Okay. Just know that it's made by small children. Yeah. Maybe we sold, is it sold out? I don't know. Well, we'll check in the break. And go down and yell at those kids again. Yeah. I'm one of the kids. I break free. This is a bit like the Hunger Games. I won and I get to go on the pod. You're Katniss. I'm Katniss. Yeah. That's the only thing I know about Hunger Games. Yeah. Cool. I love Hunger Games. Yeah. You love, you love, you love the Hunger Games. I love the Hunger Games. This podcast could have been called Hunger Games actually, it would have still made sense. I love Hunger Games. You couldn't have called it though. What? You couldn't have called it that.

Why? You'd have to explain every single episode. Well we have to explain off menu quite a lot, a lot of people say off the menu. Yeah, because it does sound, I mean we've already breached the genie and not got past that, yeah so it is a strange one. Confusing. The whole thing's confusing. We did it independently because we wouldn't have got this commissioned. No, no, we would have got this. The genie looks like, Oh, never mind. Yeah. He's just got some sketches. He's got to show you ideas about the genie. No. Are you a foodie, Hugh? Yeah. I love food. I got quite foodie during lockdown because I lived alone for like a long time. And then basically, as a comedian, basically what I was doing was basically every day I would get up and I would delete the things out of my calendar.

And then I'd get the emails, see what they'd cancelled inevitably, then I'd delete them off my calendar and then I'd have the whole day. Yeah. Basically. So I ended up making like so much food, like a ridge, like I tried to make so much food. So then the next day I'd have something to clean up. Oh, so you were basically giving yourself a chore. Yeah. So it's a job. Yeah. So clean, clean, clean your own stuff. No dishwasher. I had a dishwasher. I'm not doing that because then it's just deleting events off your calendar. Even more? Yeah.

I've never, I don't think we've ever had anyone on the podcast who cooks in order to clean. No, but also I'm worried about the next day. So you're cooking one day eating the food and then you've got the cleaning up the next day. You then cooking on the same day as the cleaning or are you only eating every other day? Yeah. So I'll take, what I'll do is I'll clean the morning, have a nice long four hour break, start cooking again.

In order to then clean the next morning. What sort of food were you making? Was it specifically dirty food or things that crusted on the pans? Stuff that I thought I couldn't do. I made dumplings from scratch, which I was like, I don't know if I could do that, but it was really good. I did it. And also each time I'm obviously making way too much

because you can't just cook for a portion for one person. No, no. Actually, interestingly, I would have lunch every, so that was, I'd have my meals with a spider, actually, interestingly. So like, there was a spider that started making a web on the table. And I, initially it was like, let's get rid of that. But I was like, if the spider goes, then there won't,

there won't be anyone else. So I'd lunch with the spider every day. Simon, no, sorry, sorry, Dennis. Simon was a different thing. What was Simon? Was it the button that squashed, he drew a face on? No, that was Lloyd. Hang on, what?

Huge in lockdown got so lonely that he drew a face on a button that squashed like Wilson and he called it Lloyd and he hung out with it all the time. And he pushed it around in a pram. In a pram? Yeah, in a pram. Well outside of your house. Yeah, well you can get away with it.

Well, I was saying, you know, you can get away with anything if you put it in a pram. I really don't think that's true. No, you can. Go to the park. You're less likely to get away with it if you put it in a pram. And see someone with a pram walking around the pram.

Look at it, right? It could be anything. If it like a dog's in there, you. And see someone with a pram, walking around the pram, look at it, right? It could be anything. If it's like a dog's in there, you're like, that's fine. Fine, yeah, okay. If you saw someone with a squash in there, you'd be like, that's fine, leave that person alone, don't talk to that person. If it had a face drawn on it, yeah, I would. Oh, but there's something very different between saying you're getting away with it and no one wants to talk to you because you look

mad. Yeah, yeah. Also, you're saying they're going, that's fine. Leave that person alone. Yeah. I believe they will definitely think, leave that person alone. I don't think they're thinking that's fine. I think they're thinking I'm going nowhere near that person. Leave them alone. They're pushing a button that squash around in a pram. It must have been a lot of questions about this. It worked. It helped you. Yeah. It did help me through man. Yeah. I know. So where's Lloyd now? And obviously we're out and about again now. I buried him in the park. You are joking.

No, I took my niece to learn about death. I can show you photos of it. You took your niece to learn about death. She was loving it though. She was digging that hole like it was Christmas morning. How old's your niece? She was at the time, she was about two and a half years old. Right, so livid that someone else is in the pram, but okay.

You've got to walk to the... You've got to walk, Lloyd's is in the pram. You got to walk. Lloyd's going in the pram, but you can have a lift back. Get out of the pram. It's a goddamn funeral. Use your legs. Lloyd is dead as well. Yeah. Was Lloyd dead when you buried him? Yeah. He had a, what we called was at the time he was rotting. I think medically, what do you say? Well, if you keep a squash for three months, it rots. Yeah. I couldn't do that, man. If I'd drawn a face on something, I couldn't bury it. Well, that's the thing.

I didn't draw on the face. I initially didn't draw the face on for a friend. I drew it on because it was so big. I thought it would be comical to anyone. You're living alone. You've got to drew the face on it. For a laugh? Yeah.

Put nappy on it for a laugh. I forgot that detail. So you were living alone? Yeah. Why you got a pram and nappies in your house? Such a good question. Such a good question that I hadn't even thought to ask. The rest of it is so weird anyway. So I was staying at my brother's house who has children. He like moved with his moved with his mother-in-law's house because they have a bigger house and they have a dog and two kids. He was like, I need someone to walk the plants. I said I'd live there. I did kill all the plants, every single one,

including the ones they kept from their marriage. They were like furious. They were absolutely furious. And then even more furious when they're like, I can't believe you spent so much time. Because the squash was there when they were there too. That's why we went to the park. Because I didn't want to go alone. Yeah. So your responsibility was to water the plants. You didn't do it.

No, I killed every single one of them. Every single one. I have like, honestly, I have like over 50. And instead you were hanging out with a squash. Raising a squash, I'd say. I wouldn't say hanging out with a squash I'm not right with it and the spider was in the same house. Spider. Yeah. Yeah, we would lunch For you, we're gonna go in dumplings

Dumplings on three separate place Lloyd's got a nappy on a face on it and you're pushing it around in a pram Yeah, then it starts rocking the squash to bed too, as far as I know. You put it into bed. Well, it's got, I can't leave it in the, you know, leave it alone. You can? Yeah. No.

What will happen? The spider's going to eat it? Get tired the next day. Yeah. Yeah, it's got to do. You can't have that, you can't have the butternut squash widening. Yeah. That's true. I feel like this always like comes up, but it's like, you know, it's just lockdown man.

Like it's normal. No one else on who did it. Can you eat butternut squash now? Or is it like you can't do it cause you hadn't? I actually haven't. You know what? I actually haven't had it since. Yeah.

I don't think I'm not, it wasn't like I'd, I actually haven't had any. Yeah. Do you think you could? Or do you just think of Lloyd? I don't think I could eat like, if you liquefy it in a soup maybe maybe but I couldn't have a piece of it. Yeah, because you'd feel like you're in Lloyd's family.

Yeah, I can't believe you brought up the death of my squash like that. When this episode comes out, I'm sure people want it. I will post the pictures when if people want the pictures. People want the pictures. Yeah, people. You can see it right from when I bought it at the supermarket. It was huge this boy. I saw this boy and I was like, you're mine. Because I went initially to make a slip card. God, what a time. As you can tell, I've not recovered in terms of socially. I think it's better that you took photos. I think it's less weird that you took photos. If you'd done

all that and not taken any photos, that would be truly any photos. Well the photos initially were for a laugh and then I had the squash for three months. Yeah. Caring. Caring for it. You talked to it? Yeah. Sure. I mean, of course. What did you take? Your secrets? The Last of Us 2. I'd be playing through that and then discussing some of the after because it's a hard, it's a hard, a hard, a hard play through.

Emotional. Yeah. I wish The Last of Us TV show instead of Joel and Ellie, it was you and Lloyd the Squash. I'd watch that. I'd watch that going around with the, you're like, Lloyd's immune. Yeah, he's a fucking squash. I imagine he is. So we always start with still of sparkling water, Hugh. Still I'm not mental. I honestly think people have sparkling water, insane.

What about sparkling water do you think? It just tastes like nothing and everything at the same time. Do you know what I mean? You want nothing and everything. Just have water. It's nice. Taste of absolutely nothing it's have water. Have just have water, it's nice. Taste of absolutely nothing. And just have, just have water.

I just don't understand. I used to go out with someone who had a, one of those, you know, you make- Soda stream. Yeah, soda stream there. And she'd have like a bottle of it every day. She was quite nice, but honestly, I just liked her.

It really pushed me over the edge. Yeah. You know, like when we- She was quite nice. Can I just check? Your girlfriend. I don't normally have to know, like when we, can I just check your girlfriend? I don't normally have to do this. Can I, can I just check this was a Cuban and not a Corsair with eyelashes stuck on it? You would kiss every night. I take her out on my motorcycle, she's in the sidecar. Holding hands in the park. Yeah. But

yeah, looping back to she was quite nice. But every time it's more than my, but I think But yeah, looping back to she was quite nice. But every time it's more than my, but I think she was quite nice. Even an ex-girlfriend who talks about him like that. It's more that it's my fault because I asked to taste it every time. Because you know, you go, can I have some of that every single evening? No, we're talking about you saying she was quite nice. Not that we get that you didn't like the fizzy water. I think she was, she was, she was quite nice. We get that you didn't like the fizzy water. I think she was really nice. It was more that the soda stream, like, complete. I was like...

Was that like a red flag? Could you tell that it wasn't going to last? I can't sustain that. Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't. I'm sorry, I'm just having flashbacks now. Yeah, yeah. I'm just having flashbacks now. Even if I was like, we could put something else in there, make it taste of something. She'd be like, no, I just want everything and nothing at the same time. It's too much going on. It's not a relaxing drink.

It's intense. It is intense. I do understand that, but some people want that level of intensity, you know? No, not for me, man. Not for you. Yeah. If you had to choose a vegetable to be your girlfriend, what vegetable would you choose? He's really thinking about it for the listener. He's really thinking about this. Well, ideally you want, I'd say squash again, because I did look up.'m huge. Because I actually looked up what vegetables last the longest without rotting. So I knew that there was an end to Lloyd.

I don't want a vegetable that rots within like a few weeks. You know, even like a potato is going to go in like a month. You know, you want the, I think butternut squash lasts the longest. And ideally I'd like the longest. Relationship. Yeah, I could get that.'d like the longest relationship. Yeah, you want the long relationship and the one that ages well. Yeah, it's also difficult to, you know, the squash is a lot, you have to get rid of,

you have to really cut it up and get all the crap out of it and stuff. Yeah. You don't have to keep getting a new one. You're the Leonardo DiCaprio of vegetables. That guy would say avocado. No, because he... When he comes on and he says avocado. People are going to think you're really weird if your girlfriend vegetable is also a squash after you had like a...

What? Because it resembles the mother? Because you had like a squash as like your son was it Lloyd? Yeah. And then, and then you have a squash like girlfriend later on. They're going to think I really got a thing with squashes. Whereas if you have a man, I have a type, sure. Yeah. Yeah. But that makes sense because if the squash is your son, well, the mother must be a squash. Yeah. Can't be like, can't be like a tomato. Can it? Yeah. Yeah. But I guess, yeah, okay. So this is, but it's happening afterwards as well. And I've also got the pens too big for

any smaller fruit. Couldn't draw a face on the, on a grape, could you? No, no, that's true. Yeah, you need a drink, Pat. And that's not vegetable for this also. I appreciate you not calling me out for that. Yeah, because that was easy. Pop-a-lums or bread? Pop-a-lums or bread, Hugh Davies? Pobloms or bread? Bread. Yeah? Yeah. Nice.

I'm having dobles from Peter Express. Yeah. Okay, cool. Don't you chuck bread off your balcony, you told me. Yeah, I hoof it. And this is not in a lockdown situation, by the way. No, this was last week when we were hanging out last week. I hoof bread off my balcony, I hoof it. If it gets, I buy bread rolls and sometimes if it gets

a bit stale instead of chucking it in the bin I hoof it. I hoof it from my balcony. It goes into, I live by like a lock of water and there's loads of animals in there and I like watching them fight over it. They'll fight over the bread. What kind of animals are there? It's toy birds. Yeah, all kinds the bread. What kind of animals? Toys? Birds? Yeah, all kinds of birds. The fish, too, the fish have a go as well. They have a try. The smaller ones come in, like the little duckies. Then the geese come in, and then the swans come in. The swans, I like because the swans, they don't, they approach very slowly. Like a sort of like a big, like bowser, like, you know, like those big ships, they can see it coming in.

And then when the bread gets small enough, they'll take it to the air. And then they'll fight in the air. And I'm watching this all from my sofa, man. I don't know if the door's open. This is like 20 minutes. And it's also hoofing as well. I love the hoof. Yeah, you gotta hoof it. What makes it a hoof rather than a throw?

I tell my, when I kick it, my foot goes all the way back to the back of my head. Oh, sorry, you kicked it? I really didn't. What do you think hoof was? I didn't put that together. I thought you were just throwing it so hard that it was like, but yeah. Okay. So you kick it out of the window. Yeah, like a cartoon character. Like I'll do a full 360 swing, like a golf swing. It's because hoof is a horse's foot. Yes, yeah, yeah. I should have, yeah. I shouldn't have. And then the horses come and they have a go at the bread.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're putting them on the floor, the bread, and kicking them off the floor. No, I'm taking it from the air. You throw it. I'm doing that. All my flatmate will, will tee it up for me and I'll smash it. And then. Sounds quite dangerous in terms of getting on one leg, spinning the other leg around

and you're on a balcony. Not the way I hoof, baby. No. Not the way I do. Safe hoof. Yeah. Plus it's going to either go straight out the window or just hit the ceiling. I should pick up again, hoof again.

I will say that I've never not hoofed. I've always done it first time. Always? Always. How far do you think you could hoof a doble? A piece of express doble. Oh, that's hard actually. Because they're quite light, aren't they?

You have to wait for it to get a bit drier. And then also you'd have to have so many of them that you wouldn't immediately go through them at one time. You know, you've never, you wouldn't save a dough ball. You'd have to have so many that you couldn't shove any more down your gullet. Cause a fresh dough ball, if you hoof that, it's not, it's not flying straight. Is it? That's like, it's gonna be like a whiffle ball.

Actually I might, I actually might do the doble cause the birds would never had anything that good. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Would you dip in garlic butter before you hoofed? Yeah, actually, yeah I would. Yeah, yeah. Just the root of my flat just explodes. Horrible doble explodes on my foot in my flat.

Then if you could, what if you could like fill the lock with garlic butter and then kick the dobles into that? Yeah, but that's too good for the birds. It's too good for the birds. They'd be sleeping and sliding all over the place. Be like Shell all over again. Yeah, it'd be videos of people cleaning birds.

Peter Express, I'm going to make the third statement of the year. I'm coming out of the restaurant, giving everyone cups of tea. I love those do balls, obviously. Yeah, I'm trying to think if someone's chosen as the bread course before. I think they have. But like, people love them. Ivo Graham chose it, apparently.

Now, that was the highlight of his menu. Would you share dough balls with Ivo Graham? Yeah, sure, man. I mean, he's always asking me about the squash too, so maybe not. He is? No, no, he's not. No, no, I'd share dough balls with Graham.

You can't really. I mean, I once, I took, I was on a date with someone who's from Australia and they'd never had the Dobles before and I took them to Pete's butch press and they were blown away. Was she quite nice? Yeah, she was quite nice. Yeah. Ivo Graham had a double portion. How do you feel about that?

A doppio. A doppio. I'm not going to say it's wrong. Just by himself, not sharing. Are these menus, are they just like realistically eaten in one sitting? It's up to you really, because we've had guests who- What do a batch cook? Who say part of their dream in the dream restaurant is that they won't get full.

Oh, okay. So they can eat- Oh, of course a dream restaurant too. Yeah, piles of stuff. So I can do that as well, can I? Yeah, if you want, yeah. Okay. If it piles of stuff. So I can do that as well, can I? Yeah, if you want, yeah. Okay. If it's your dream.

How many doubles can you get through as a starter realistically and then how many do you want in the dream restaurant? I've never tried to get as, cause it's, you know, I'm not made of money. You know, I'm not going to see how many I can get. Yeah. I reckon I could do, I could do double as well actually.

Yeah. I think about it. I probably could do three. Toe to toe with Greg. Yeah, yeah. Mal, do your man. Let's get you Doppio. Okay. We'll get you Doppio. Yeah. Yeah. The Doppio comes with other dips as well.

I think this thing with the bread though, I feel like it's like going beyond bread now. You could be like, technically you could have a pizza now, couldn't you? Yes. You're like, that's the, can people say pizza? I had the garlic bread with cheese and mohammite from yard sale, which is in a pizza format.

Okay. So yeah, I had a pizza. Okay. I mean we're open to hacks. We're open to hacks. You know but I think the dough balls is a good shout. Yeah I think it's good. I didn't think of that on the way here. I was going to say poppadoms initially but then I thought of the dough balls on the way. I was pretty pretty proud of myself. Yeah. Your dream starter. Dream starter. I don't know if you've had this before, I couldn't think of anything better. It's crispy aromatic dark pancakes. Yes, Russell Howard chose these.

Oh really? If you want to share them with Russell Howard? Yeah, I would. Nice little get together actually. You're having a nice time aren't you? Yeah, I just think there's no better combination of flavours. I just think, I was trying to think of a better one and I cannot think of a single one. I'm always I just think, I was trying to think of a better one and I can't think of a single one. I'm always in the mood. I'm never not in the mood. I'm going to try and make an aromatic duck.

Are you? Yeah. From scratch soon. I'm going to turn to me with bread. Like a line of bread rolls. Crispy aromatic duckies. We just go down to where they are. Hoof the roll into your house. Yeah. Opposite hoof. And then they all fly in there. There's a bit in my flat as well where you go in and it's like an airlock. So if you go in there and then you go into my flat through another door, that'll be where you get most, that's the aromatic bit, you know. So steam it in there for a bit and then through to the main kitchen. Very clever.

Yeah, thought about this, man. I mean, I hate to bring up Pizza Express again, but I went to Pizza Express not too long ago with some friends, not as, not as quash, with some friends. And I saw the menu and there was a crispy dark hoisin pizza on the menu. And I was like, that's incredible that a restaurant has hoisin pizza on the menu. And I was like, that's incredible that a restaurant has managed to spit on two cultures at the same time. Yeah.

I've had one of those, but not from Pizza Express. I had one from Bella Italia when I was at university. Yeah. Yeah. How do you find it? It was fucking filth. I mean, yeah, of course. I mean, obviously I loved it.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. I ordered it as like a kind of like, try and bring obviously I loved it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. You, I ordered it as like a kind of like, try and bring, try and bring me this. Let's see how bad this can get. And then they brought it and they, but they, before they came up to me and when we were at a dark cause it's so popular, obviously, and they said, do you mind if we replace the dark with chicken? I'm like, yeah, you make it worse. Yeah. Go on. Yeah. Hoisin chicken. Yeah. Hoisin chicken. And this thing came out and it was like, it was jarring. It was, and then they also put, get this, the raw cucumber and raw spring onions on

the top of the pizza with a hoisin drizzle. And I was sitting there, I was laughing. I was laughing at this pizza. We were all laughing at the pizza. And then I had a bite and I was like, it still works. Oh yeah? It still works. Was it a tomato, was it like a normal tomato base pizza? Can't be, can't be.

I've refused to believe it. Because the one I had was hoisin base. I think it's hoisin base. Yeah, hoisin base. Yeah, with hoisin on the top. But duck and cheese, man. But I honestly think it works. Yeah, yeah.

Like I think it's like the only Asian like kind of things you can have on a pizza, surely. Like a dish you can have. Think of another like Asian dish you can put on a pizza. Surely like a dish you can have. Think of another like Asian dish you can put on a pizza. Chicken katsu curry. Wontons, I'd have a wonton pizza. Yeah, but that's not a meal, is it? It's not a flavor combination of wonton. Chicken katsu curry.

On a pizza? Yeah, you can put the fried chicken on there. Don't be disgusting, Gamble. And then drizzle over curry sauce. I'd have it. I'd have it. I know you'd have it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd have it. James would have it. Okay, fine. I don't think I would. No, yeah. It's funny to say I'd have it. I know you'd have it. Yeah. Yeah. I have it. James would have it. Okay. I don't think I would. No. Yeah. It's funny to say I'd have it with you. Let's talk more about this duck though. I think it's a great choice. Yeah. We need to know how you building it. So you've got, you start with the pancake. Start pancake in the mouth. In the mouth. No. So pancake on the floor. Yeah. Respectful. How about on the floor, and I eat them on the floor. Be respectful, be respectful, have it on the floor. And then I'm covering it in sauce. And I like, you know, like when you order it sometimes and they give you like a really measly,

I finally found a place where they just, they overload you with the sauce. And I actually have bought it, you can buy the paste and you can make it yourself. I have it as a backup in case they don't provide enough. That's good. You bring it with you in a little vial? Bring it with me, I'm having this at home, man.

The amount of, I'm not eating duck in public. You know? Interesting. Yeah. So what are you ordering? Cause obviously you can get quarters, you can get halves. Yeah, I'm getting a lot. I'm getting like a full duck.

You get a full duck? No, not like if I've rewarded myself, I'll get like a full duck and not order anything else. Like I normally would have other things, but if I've had a big day, and by big day, I mean I've completed a gig. Yeah, well done. Yeah, I've managed to carry the keyboard back and forth. And I'll get a whole poise.

I'm in so much debt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in a lot of debt. Yeah. I will, I will sometimes just have a full crispy duck. Great. How many pancakes you're talking for a full crispy? Well, you normally get a packet per quarter. So it's four packets. Yeah. Um, yeah. And I will, I will demolish that. And we go in pancake, cover it in sauce. Yep. And then two, like maybe it depends on, again, it depends on how many cucumbers they give you. I always buy spare, I was by spare cucumber.

So I'm having, this thing is disgusting by the time you've wrapped it up. It's a lot. I'm having like two blocks of cucumber per half side of the pancake. So it's like four big bits of cucumber, loads and loads of spring onions, like jam packet full of dark.

This thing is like, you almost can't close it. Yeah. You know? And you're doing that maybe 16, 17 times? A week, yeah. Yeah. It's more like a pasty for the family.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you doing them all individually when you get a whole duck or are you lining up all the pancakes, making them all and then going to town like you're working in a restaurant? No, I'm making them one by one. I used to pride myself as a kid that I could, I felt like I was, you know, when you you see like someone make a crap Suzette in a restaurant and they're like, can I bring out the guy and then he does the, he does the thing. That's what I thought I looked like when I was making pancakes. I would make pancakes for my family.

As a kid? Yeah, like if I got Johnny's takeaway. You'd be the pancake guy. I'd be the pancake guy and I would dish out pancakes to people. How old were you? Like when you say as a kid? Probably like seven years old. Seven years old? You make the duck pancakes? You pride yourself on it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. pancake guy and I would dish out pancakes to people. How old were you? Like when you say as a kid? Probably like seven years old.

Seven years old and you make the duck pancakes, pride yourself on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even though, if I may say, your technique of making the pancakes sounds dreadful. What do you mean? Are you putting too much stuff in it? Oh yeah, no, sorry. Your hand in the mouth. Sorry, I'm immediately, yeah. Sorry, I just forgot how I make pancakes for a second there. It makes sense for a seven year old to make him like that. To not alter your technique at all. I have to unhinge my jaw like a bow constrictor. Eat it as a whole as it is. It's just like pancakes now. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have breakfast. It's the second episode we're

done today. My stomach's starting to go. noises. I did offer to bring in the food. Well, I said offer. You turned up and you said, I thought about bringing the food. It was, that's what an offer is to me. Google what offer means. No, I will stick, I offered it. Also interesting, what you said was,

oh, I was gonna make all the food and bring it in. And so far you've got pizza with spread dough balls and crispy duck from a Chinese takeaway. You can buy those things from shops. That's not making making is it? Mmm. I don't know. Well, we'll see. We'll see. It would have been easier to get Let's get onto your main course Let's get onto your main course. What is the main course? Spaghetti Bolognese.

Really? Yeah, I was bringing some absolute classics to this. I was thinking about like some of the the crazy things that I've eaten and I just think it comes back to like I do not, it's like I always think like your favourite film is the one you've like seen, you've watched the most and I've probably had the most, like I have spaghetti bolognese so often because I love it so much. And I think it's either the way that I make it as well. I love the way that I make it. I finally got it down to a T. I also have like, you know, like I don't eat like a lot of food apart from duck,

right? Like, but I feel like I eat like a normal amount of food. Like I'm one of those people that's like, you know, like memos say that I just eat like so much of it and I get the spiciest thing and I don't have any of that. But with spaghetti Bolognese, oh man, I'm eating a lot. And I'm like, it's something about it that you can just, I almost, you don't have to swallow, like chew, right? You can just pretty much shove it. Like I had Bolognese last week with my flatmate and she is a normal portion. She automatically put mine into a salad bowl. And then I had Bolognese last week with my flatmate and she is a normal portion. She automatically put mine into a salad bowl. And then I had three salad bowls of it. So I filled each, I think it was like nine,

three portions in a salad bowl, I'd say. And then three, then two more of them. Yeah, we think about 10 because then I eat the rest out of the pot. Yeah, well, I mean, this is, you've already gone up in my estimation because I immediately imagine you eating it directly from the pan when you said spaghetti. No, the pan is after that's for dessert. That's my treat at the end of.

I mean, look, who doesn't love spaghetti, but it's not even like, I don't even realize I'm, it's not even like I'm trying. Like she's like, it's like you look, I look down and three salad bowls have gone. I'm not even full. Like she's like, stop it. You have to have, you have to leave some for the week. Cause I do it as a batch cook. I end up having all of it. And you eat all of it. In the one go.

I was like, the treats are broccoli pasta in the lockdowns, man. I'd make that pasta and I was very shocked at how much I would just like, just keep going. Yeah. I'm like that with Marmite pasta. There you go, what? Marmite pasta. I must have told you about my Marmite pasta.

I didn't know you did Marmite pasta. Why is there so much Marmite all the time? I love Marmite pasta. What do you mean? Well, if you look, if you've got nothing in apart from some spaghetti and Marmite and butter, a bit of cheese if you've got it, it's delicious. I feel physically sick. There's no way you've told me about this.

Boil the pasta. Did you know about this, Benito? Boil the pasta. I know something about it. Get a little pan going, butter in the pan, as much butter as you like. Big old like serving spoonful of Marmite into the pan, sort of melt it down, emulsify a bit. A bit of the pasta water, a bit of cheese if you want, sort of just get that all going, bit like a Cacio e Pepe. Get all that all going, the sauce and then dump the cooked

spaghetti into the pan, mix it all up. Have you had Marmite with Marmalade? Marmite with Marmite. Marmite with Marmite. Marmite with Marmalade. Have you had it? I've had Marmite with peanut butter. I don't think I've had Marmite with Marmalade.

Have Marmite with Marmalade. Yeah. You'll love it. It's my dad's, it's my dad's like thing that he makes people, when I used to have people sleep over at mine, he'd be like, have a bit of this and they're trying, they love it. I can imagine it working. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty good.

What's the ratios? Like not a lot of Marmite as you would normally do. And then like a normal amount of, normal, both normal. So it's just spread onto like toasting. Yeah, yeah. This is not just like a Yeah, not your hands. Yeah, I thought it was like a spoon.

No, no, no, no. Yeah. Sorry on toast. So we'll say that not a spoon of Marmite. And then you spoon into the Marmite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a really horrible, not everything I eat is horrible. Okay. So far. Um, is your dad called massive Davis? Oh my God. That's bad stuff. It's good. It's good stuff. Yeah. Oh, I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. I'm playing to the room. My dad is Ivo Graham. Yeah. Fair enough. We both kind of pizza all the time together. Is this your spaghetti bolognese that you make? So with the salad bowls, that was the

one that you made? You want your own. Yeah. I want my own. Talk us through it. Any little signature twists in the huge Davis bowl? I do have a secret ingredient, but I don't think it's that mad. Come on. You said you got this down to a fine art. People are going to be wanting to make this at home. So first thing I'm going to do is I'm cutting up a lot of celery, I'm cutting up a lot of carrots, I'm cutting up a lot of white onions. I do it in front of, it takes ages to do it and I'll cut it up in front of like a film.

I'll do it like whilst I'm... So when I'm cooking spit on a nose, I'll put it in the diary, do you know what I mean? I'll take up like three hours to do this thing. I cut all that down and then like put that into a big pot, like a big pot, and then I'm getting that down so it's all like, you know, I don't know what the word is, but you know, until it gets good. And then I'm shoving in mince, so it's pork mince and beef mince. So you've got it because of the fat, right? Yeah. And then, I read about that. And then I'm putting in, so this is controversial, no tomatoes. No canned tomatoes in it. Okay. No tinned tomatoes. I put in tomato puree,

a whole one of those. Also, no. A whole tube of tomato puree. Yeah, man. You're not seeing the pot, man. Right. The pot's huge, right? Yeah, the pot's big. Yeah, it's a big boy. Yeah. And then I've always put wine as well. Let that be bath or something. Lloyd's in there. So yeah, Bobbing around in the marinating Lloyd and realize that you've got a squash on your t shirt. Oh my god. Yeah. Like a t shirt that has a squash is on it. Let's see what the one that Lloyd most represents. Can I see the other one? Yeah

As long as you are looking at that those are kind of pumpkins I think about your potential. They're winter veg. Lloyd is the closest to the right. I think the pale one Pale squash. Yeah, but he was longer obviously much better. RIP. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, so you're putting in a whole tube of the yeah, and then I'm getting it all together I'm cooking this over like a long period. I'm putting also in red wine, a lot of red wine, want it to taste good. Then once that's all down, I forgot to put garlic in, obviously loads of garlic, like too much garlic. I always found that when you put the garlic, they peel out, people recommend it's never good. Yeah, because all these things are like, their recipes are for the most average person, right?

Yeah. So put in just like a whole thing of garlic, cooking that down, then I put in like loads of stock, vegetable or chicken, it doesn't matter. Then I'm sticking in like some spices like oregano, and then I'm putting a bay leaf in, and then add in tomato ketchup. Wow. Is this a secret ingredient?

You shunned the canned tomatoes and now you're putting ketchup in? Yeah. I was with you all the way. Because you need a bit of sugar in there. You don't want to put some sugar in. So I put in tomato ketchup to make it sugary, but also a bit tomato.

You know what adds a natural sweetness? Canned tomatoes. No, but I said I know tomatoes. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Because you want to be edgy. Because you just discovered, I mean, was this something that was like, someone tipped you off? Well, my dad says that you're not meant to put in canned tomatoes into a bolognese.

But I don't know what he knows because I don't think they have that there. I don't think they have a bolognese in it. It's not a thing, is it? Didn't we make that? I'm interested about this bologn's because the tomato thing spun me out, not having tin tomatoes in it. But beer and ketchup though? Yeah, no ketchup. I was gonna, you know what, I knew that would be a response. I was gonna make it as I said, but I could be arsed.

You could be arsed, yeah, fair enough. So, but is that the end of the ingredients now? After ketchup, ketchup's the final thing. Let me think. Well, you always, you make it, yeah, but for a long time and then, but you're putting in loads of pasta water into it to keep it up. So you just keep cooking it until it like sort of becomes like a lovely bolognese sludge. Here's my question. And you know, no judgment. Salt and pepper as well. Sorry. Loads of salt and pepper. No judgment either way, Hugh. Yeah. When you eat it.

I feel like I'm about to say something very judgmental. No, are you putting the spaghetti into a bowl and then putting the bolognese on top and then just sort of eating it like that? Or are you mixing it all up and like chopping the spaghetti up and stuff? You boil the spaghetti in a big pot as well. And then you like, you spoon in a few spoons of the bolognese, you

mix that through with a bit of olive oil as well. Well, you're putting the pasta straight into the bolognese and mixing it. No, no, no. You're putting the bolognese into the pasta? The bolognese into the pasta. So in the pot you've got the pasta in, you're putting the bolognese in the pot of the pasta. And then you're like swirling that around a bit so it coats the pasta. And then because people are fussy, what you do is you put the pasta on the plates and

then you put an extra dollop of sauce on top. Because people like having the sauce on top. You finish with Parmesan. Oh yeah, you also put Parmesan in the sauce as well. You put it in, oh, I forgot basil as well. You put in basil in the sauce. So you top with basil, Parmesan. I was worried there wasn't going to be a dollop because I like a dollop. If anything, I actually prefer plain spaghetti with the dollop on the top. And then I have the choice to mix in if I want. And then I can just have just sauce or just a plain bit of spaghetti.

You know, I like to be, I like to be a DJ of my own dinner. No, I want it all mixed up. I hate having all the... Of course you are, because you're a fucking child. I hate, what are you talking about? I hate having the plain spaghetti. Do you want it all cut up for you as well? And get it for your special Bob the Builder fork?

I'd love that. I can imagine you have it in like a segmented plate. What? Why would I need it in a segmented plate? It's all mixed together. No, all the different bits. Ed would like that. Oh yeah, maybe yeah. I like it on there. I like to be able to start at the edge I like to be able, I could start at the edge and work my way in, delicious. Yeah.

No, I want every bit of spaghetti to be covered in that bolognese. Nice, that's, you're spreading the sauce around. I want any dry spaghetti. You see, you're spreading, you're literally spreading it too thin. That's why I was very on board with the dollop going on top as well.

People don't like it when you do that. When you mix the sauce in with the spaghetti. I'm fine with like the way Hugh is doing it. Well me too. It's all mixed together and then a dollop on the top. Great. The way you just described is revolting. It's the worst thing you have ever said on this podcast.

Isn't the spaghetti get quite like, it gets claggy. I don't mind that. I don't mind a bit of clag, but then you can also de-clag with the sauce as you wish. But you can just de-clag with the sauce. Now, but I want the option. Okay, fine. I'm not gonna tell you how to do this, man. Just like momma used to make.

Your momma used to make it like that? Yes, she did. Well, your momma did an animated spaghetti bolognese, man. You can tell her that. Yeah. Did you listen to the podcast? My momma's the momma from Mamma Mia. What?

Yeah, there's been notice. That was, okay. Good stuff. I like the way way I'll probably try the way you do it. I think it's the most I've disagreed with it on the podcast. Really? The way he has spaghetti bolognese and I never heard that before and it's distressing to me. Is it because it's like in your that's what the way a cartoon spaghetti bolognese? Maybe. Yeah. You live in a car. You like to live in a cartoon. I like to live in a cartoon. That's safe in the cartoon, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'm getting the sense that the main thing is choice. Ed wants it to be his choice. Also, I don't mind the taste of plain pasta, so you get a little bit of that and sometimes I just want to take a big spoonful of ragu off the top. If you came to my house and I made you Spaghetti Bolognese, but I did it in a way that wasn't ... If it was like all mixed in a way that wasn't, if it was like all mixed in like James has it, would you eat it? I'm huffing it.

Splat. Splat. The ducies are eating that. Would you sit down with your Marmite spaghetti and have just bare plain spaghetti and then a dollop of the stuff on top of it? Because it's not the, it's too thin a sauce, That's like a cacio pepe. You've got to mix it all together so you're covering the pasta. Yeah. Yeah. But if it's like a thick, lovely thick, slow cooked ragu, I want to be able to experience that unadulterated rather than the thin coverings and bits of mince here and there. I want a mouthful of it. You're doing the wrong. I also put pancetta

in it. Okay, fine. Yeah. I don't put pancetta in it. Okay fine. I don't put pancetta in it. Maybe I should do that. You want a little try? Yeah. What would you just, big ones? The little cubes. Yeah. The cube pancetta. Yeah, okay fine. Okay, that's a good addition. I like the sound of that. No, I just love it. I just love, I think it is the only thing that I can, I can get hoof. I can hoof, you can hoof the spaghetti, you can hoof down without, like there's no end, there's no end to it. Well, okay, but now we're talking about hoofing it down. And earlier when I didn't know what hoofing meant, I was like, uh, the hoof of a horse? Come on, man. But like, I've never seen a horse with its hoof put food in its mouth. I like lift the food up with the hoof

and feed itself. Huge eats with his feet, he kicks his food into his mouth. I like lift the food up with the hoof and feed itself. Huge eats with his feet. He kicks his food into his mouth. Yeah. On the floor. I gather it in like a, again, like a spider. I gather it in like a trap door spider. Yeah. Fair enough then. I'm really happy with that selection though. Bolognese. Do you have Bolognese before? I was worried that because it's such a... I think we must have done, but I'm so hungry.

I'll tell you what, when you said it, I was like, boring in my head. But then when you described making it and all that, I was like, yeah, this is cool. I think it's just so comforting. I just love it. I thought of other dishes that I could have maybe said, like I was going to maybe go for like these fish tacos that I do that I really like. But I just think there's nothing I look forward to more than a spag. You can't go crispy duck pancakes into fish tacos because then you're just everything is kind of like. It's too many wraps.

Yeah, yeah. You know, you're just making and I can only imagine how full you make those fish tacos. Yeah, no, it's disgusting. Yeah, absolutely. Whole fish in each one. There's not even like a finish to it. I just, I tack on, I like, it's like human centipede. Yeah. I tack on the duck pancakes straight onto the tacos. Yeah. And the snake continues. Spilling into one another. Yeah. Did anyone pick bolognese? So there you go. You're in

pretty good company, kind of. So Joe Thomas. What do you mean kind of? Well, Joe Thomas's bolognese that he chose was his own as well, but he added cream to it. What? Yeah. Yeah. So that's part of his recipe is that you put cream. So white. Cream in the bolognese. What? Cool this down? Well, too spicy for me. Too spicy.

Is this white? He made it for Johnny Sweet and Simon Bird. I mean, Stanley Tucci's mother's lasagna bolognese. That's the other end of the scale there. Pretty delicious. Pretty high end. Rosie from Flo and Joan also had it. Yeah, all making their own. And Marilyn Rice Cup, which I can't remember is Marilyn Rice Cup. Yeah. There's a lot of things in Marilyn Rice Cups interview that sort of stand out further than her actual food options. Yeah, yeah. Dream side dish. The festive bake from Gregg's. Okay.

We always say it doesn't matter if a menu goes together necessarily, it's just all of your favorite things, but this is a funny old combination. I was thinking as I was, this is less of a cohesive menu, more of a tough mudder for your stomach. Do you know what I mean? See if you can make it through. Which I love the festive bake from Greg. Never had it. Don't even know what's in it. Can't

wait to hear it. Well, let's, let's guess. Let's let James guess what he thinks in the festive bake. So, okay. Inside the festive bake, turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, pigs in blankets kind of deal. You see, right animal. So there's like pork in there. Ham, right? Ham. I think there's ham in there.

Like gammon. I mean, are they, are they putting vegetables in there? Is there some like carrots and parsnips and stuff? I think it's like creamy, right? Yeah, from what I remember It's all the things you said. So cranberry sauce stuffing Turkey, those are the three main components anyway, and they put like loads of like sort of Christmasy sort of spices in there But I go to Gregg's every single day

Okay for I don't even live near Gregg's How far are you traveling for a Gregg's? It's an easy half hour walk. During the period, during the festive period. I don't even refer to it as a festive period before. Now it's a festive period. You go into Gregg's every day during the festive period. Yeah. I'm not queuing outside like it's a Harry Potter book. You're not going every day for the rest of the year. No, no, no. But as soon as the festive bake drops, you're going every day. When do they tend to drop it?

I think this time it was mid December. I remember cause I was doing a, I was filming a thing and the whole film crew went to go have lunch somewhere else. And I didn't have lunch with everyone else because I wanted to check whether the festive bake was out and it was out. And that was the worst Gregg's ever.

It was the Gregg's at Tottenham Court Road, which is like, it was busy in that but people know what day it was. Christmas had officially started. So how long has the Festive Bake been going for? How long have you been a fan? I've been aware of it two years. So this is, I'm early into it, but... It's been going longer than that. Yeah, it's been going longer. I didn't know about it really because I just I don't really go in for like the limited edition things that the chain restaurants sell I don't buy into it but this I buy into in a big way yeah

and I mean I mean like one and in a big way I mean one a day for the whole Christmas period which is so it's just started like mid-December so how many are you having by the end of the Christmas period how many have you had I've had at minimum one a day. But how long are they, how many days are we talking? The 12 days of Christmas? No, until they finish. Yeah. Until they finish. It's like mid January, they kind of finish.

So about a month. Yeah, about a month. One a day for a month. About, well you say minimum one day. Are you, are there any two festive bake days? Yeah, sometimes I have like three. Yeah. Okay. So we're talking probably on average

50 festive bakes during that time. Well, don't do it like it's, you know, you know when they put the food on the table, you can see the disgrace, you know, it's like, it's shame. Don't shame me. I'm not shaming you. I'm actually really proud of you, man. Okay.

But probably about 50. Yeah, probably, yeah, I'd say 50, yeah. Up to the 50. Yeah. They know me is where I used to live In like near Twickenham and that Greg's I went there every single day. They know me there Maybe and they knew it was gonna be a festive bag. Yeah, they don't even they don't even they just leave it out Yeah, you know when you buying two at a time. Did you ever feel ashamed and had to say I want them for Lloyd

Yeah, then they'd have to say he's Lloyd. I'd be more ashamed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's discussion in the pram. Yeah. I mean, so hold on. Are you getting, when you had a, you know, two or even three festive bake day, were you buying those all together or were you making three or two separate trips? I'm making, no, just one trip.

One trip. Yeah, that's my walk. That was so like, that was the first one was like a lockdown thing. Yeah. So I had to do something for the day. So get up, do just one trip. One trip. Yeah, that's my walk. That was so like that was the first one was like a lockdown thing. Yeah. So I had to do something for the day. So get up, do the washing up. Yeah. Delete the calendar, stuff for the calendar. Yeah. Watch the news for a bit. Go to Greg's get myself one to three festive bakes. Come back. Have your real dinner. The deleting stuff off the calendar sounds like it was a real ritual for you. Yeah, because I had nothing to do. Other people did what they did, they wrote books and that. And they sort of like wrote scripts. What I did is I just deleted stuff off the calendar

and just watched it all melt away. Well you know when you say you had nothing to do, you know that the people who wrote books and scripts also had nothing to do, so then they wrote a script? No man. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no That was it. I almost went with tuna pasta bag for the main because I really like tuna pasta bag. You're a man who appreciates the classics. Yeah, something you can cook. Who is that character? You're a man who appreciates the classics.

Who the hell is that? Don't leave me. Oh, a tuna pasta bag. Do you think people who don't know who I am, which is a lot of people, do you think people will think that I'm a porn star that you're interviewing? Cause you've got a huge day. Yeah, yeah. It does sound like that.

Your sexy voice. I mean, we've been chatting for a while now. It would have been a terrible interview if you were a porn star and we'd not brought up anything about porn. Yeah, that would be bad. Cause that's the thing that podcasts like to do. I see a lot of podcasts now they have porn stars on. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know how you do that. Yeah. Have you not had one on? We've never had a comment on the video. Ask them what they eat and then there's inevitable jokes there. Yeah, of course. Go into the gutter immediately. What again is it? The porn star just wanted us to talk about food. Yeah. Maybe a little sneak peek. You do a very grimy podcast. Yeah, I will say, yeah, this is actually quite odd being here, quite surreal, because it was only recently that we, so I do a podcast called Slime Country. I do it with Sunil Patel and Ed Knight. And we, every time we read out like a fan fiction that someone's written, it just so happened that week that we found one, an off menu one, and we had to read it out on the podcast. And I have to say, it's very, very difficult to listen to slash read out. Very hard, a lot, very weird. They could get weird because it's

always Ninja Turtles and that kind of thing. But the ones where you know the people in, which is a few, we had one with Uncle Roger last week with Gordon Ramsay. Gordon Ramsay was, it was translated from Chinese. Gordon Ramsey was, he was called Lao Bao for some reason. And I think Uncle Roger was, I think it was called Little Trout or something. It was quite odd. Anyway, your one was very strange. What happened in our one? So you By the way, when, before Hugh dread this out on his podcast, he did message me to check, to give my consent.

And I gave yours. Yeah, I mean no one asked me about this. Yeah, I know that you'd say no. Because it doesn't, as you'll find out, it doesn't hold you in great esteem. So I can't remember precisely, but I got the main points of it. It starts off, James lets himself into your flat with a spare key. Okay. You're watching some shit on television. They make sure that you're, they say that, you're watching some shit on television. You crawl into Ed's lap

and break down into tears immediately. What the? Ed let's stroke you. I've let myself in to do this. So far, bang on. And then you're sort of... Unbelievable. That's what people think. Yeah.

That's what the fantasy is. That's like, because it's an exaggerated version of like, so they think that you come in, you're crying about how bad your day is. The section where you're talking about your bad day goes on for so long. It's so long, you're crying about how bad your day is. The section where you're talking about your bad day goes on for so long. It's so long where you're talking about all the things you're having, you think you're like having problems with like your agent or something like that. And it's just comforting you're stroking your hair. And then you're like weeping, you're like crying all the way through this and it's just stroking your hair.

And then you beg him to tie you up. You like you're begging him. I can't believe this. Someone vote this. Oh, I'm so happy. We had to stop because it was like, it was, it's too hard. It's too hard to read. Yeah. It's too, it became difficult. What, what? Cause you, you were finding it upsetting or cause you were laughing. I think it's because people write these fan fictions. It's always funny because you don't really, because if it's like the Teenage Mutant Ninja titles it's like a, but when it's real people that you know, it becomes quite sinister that they would, you know, there's people like in a setting in which they might come to see

you live and the first instances go like,'m gonna write like a short like a 16 chapter story about how while crying Ed as a go on James whilst he's tied to a bed. So I'm still crying for the whole thing. Yeah you're crying for the whole thing. You've had a really bad day man. Yeah but this is like also the way that it's written it's like this is just normal because you've just let yourself in. Yeah. Ed's like, here we go again. I have to tie him up again. He's crying so much about his bad day. I wouldn't recommend you listen to it because it's like, it's hard to.

I'm not listening to it. I mean, I'm hearing about it now and it's disturbing. Can't believe I'm just being painted. That's not the fan semen. Yeah. Have you not ever read for fan fiction of yourself before no there's loads man that was only one of them we were gonna do a whole um we're gonna do a whole month of it because we like them james a cast a month yeah crying in all of them every

single one of them it doesn't sound good oh god we honestly I absolutely love it. Honestly, we don't often stop. We have to stop. We never stopped. We had to stop. It was too much. We couldn't get to the point where you were starting to go. You do go for it. Yeah. Yeah, I imagine.

It's gotta happen at some point. Yeah. Holy smokes. Sorry about that. I can't believe it. I crawl in the room. Is that the thing that upset you the most? All of it is just demeaning. Like, I can't believe I'm letting myself in the room. Is that the thing that upsets you the most? All of it is just demeaning. Like I can't believe I'm letting myself in for it as well. I've let myself in with a

spare key. You haven't even got up to say who it is. You're just watching TV. So like the fact that you're not even like, Oh, who's coming in? Oh hi, Jim. You're just sitting there watching TV and like after crawling, crying, and then on your lap crying about my bad day. And then I beg you to tie me up. It's not even your idea. Yes. There's a lot of nuzzling. I remember Sunil specifically being like why is there so much nuzzling? That is like, that just sums up all my every weirdo has ever seen me is that they would get turned on by the thought of me nuzzling. That is absolutely is that they would get turned on by the thought of me nuzzling. That is absolutely the dozen...

Oh no... God. Thanks to whoever wrote that. And then what, am I tied to a bed? Yeah. That's why I said thanks to whoever wrote that, Benito put his hand up. Wouldn't be surprised. By the way, if you're not listening in, the sound guy is David Dimbleby.

They won't let him retire. Can't believe it. I absolutely love that. Yeah, because I'm a big strong boy. Yeah, strong boy watching TV doesn't have any feelings. I said you're watching garbage. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the worst you've come off. Yeah. You's when you relax, you watch garbage. I'd like to keep back and watch garbage. You come off worse, I will say that. Yeah, I've come off, I've got all sorts of problems. I love that. I think the, yeah, you... Are they writing this because they find it arousing or are they writing it because it's a lot of food? Other people, so the comments below will also be like great, like, be a great story.

Great stuff. Hang on, this is exactly what games are doing. They find it sexy. Yeah. People read it and wank off to it, I reckon. Geez, man. Geez. James. Yeah, people read it and wank off to it I reckon. Jeez man, jeez. James, I know you've not enjoyed talking about this, so later on when you let yourself in.

I'm crying about what you've said. When you crawl into his lap, make sure you don't get tears all over the TV remote. That's why he uses that to watch his garbage television. Yeah, he watches my garbage television. I don't have time for much nutslinging tonight, so we're just going to get straight to the tying up and fucking, right? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Does he say that? Yeah, that'll be the next one. I've made a note of that.

And then he says, at the point of climax, he shouts, Crikey Moses. But there will be another one, because there's so many. There will be another one of this. People, just look it up. No, I'm not looking at shit. No way. It's a dark hole, you'll never get out. It's what you're complaining about, actually, actually during the call you can't get out. Yeah

But a day man, you know bad day. Yeah, I can help bunch of creeps man It's scary is a scary world is scary that's that's in someone's head Yeah Isn't scary that some you can be so good at stand up that people will write that about you and you have then you're forced to Confront it in your own podcast. Well, it's scary that if you even and you have then you're forced to confront it in your own podcast. Well it's scary that if you even if you have some sort of platform and you talk about your emotions for a second they're like I think he cries so much and it becomes this big thing. It's hot. It's a fucking cry all the time.

Yeah come on keep crying. Cries all the time he's nothing he's crying begging for it. Nothing's so funny. Also I think you're like this they kept referring they don't they refer to Ed as Ed. Oh no. Oh no. They referred to James as the boy. We read the full, if you check out them, this is the biggest, this is the most, this is the biggest plug for the podcast I could do, but you got to, up until now, we read it word for word. The most disturbing thing on this podcast was when Ed said he has a spaghetti plane with a dollar point on it. But this is absolutely... This is why... Do you know what? Far too many... I hope

some comedians are listening to this. I hope there's some comedians who are my friends who in the past have said to me, you should really like be more open with your fans man and talk to them and you could like, you know, sometimes they come up to you and they want stuff from you and you're like, oh no, I'm kind of in a rush or whatever and they're not really upset with me. You should really give them the time of day. Fuck that. If this is what they're doing, I don't want to meet a single one of these fucking creeps forget it the boy yeah the boy the boy does this is a how what's going on in their heads wouldn't be annoyed if he wasn't crying in the story yeah if I wasn't crying in the story yeah oh it's

a number of things not just a car if I wasn't the boy wasn't being called a boy if I wasn't crying if I wasn't begging to be tied up because you probably don't want to do it if I wasn't Crawling to the room on all fours. That's funny man. I'm already this subservient Like lower than you like crawling into the lap a bit like, you know where the cat The changing like I'll be fun. Do you know what if that is if that is how I did things, I'll be fine with it. But I'm just not, anybody who does like doing that, who wants to be the subservient like that, fair play to you. I'm not judging you, but that's not how I like to do it.

And people putting it on me and making that a thing. I've ever seen you come into, you've walked in. Thank you. I'll say that, I've got your back. We've never nuzzled Yeah, never nuzzled. Yeah, what a little nuzzling. That's the one thing that didn't That says more about them. Yeah, so dessert then is it a dream drink but like Dream trick little no like little yeah. Yeah. I had a thing where, you know, when you, if

you want like a canned can of something, you always, you always go for like a Coke because it's just like, I sort of realized that that was like, that's what like advertising has done to me. So I've been going around other drinks and I think I've settled on Lilt. Lilt's the best one. Very annoyed recently, they're gonna, well, I don't know when this goes out, but they're getting rid of it. Go on. Well, they're changing it, aren't they? They're getting rid of it.

But it's good, aren't they just changing it to- They're changing the name to- Fanta pineapple. Fanta pineapple and thingy, but- Yeah, great food. Yeah. So it's gonna taste the same. It's gonna be the same, just the cans different.

No, it's not really though. Why? Just cause it's, you just want Lil, it's called Lil, it's fun to say. It's not fun to say Fanta. The boy. I'm not the boy. My man, I'm 38. You've never been so far away in a conversation before. You wouldn't even look at me. I care that there's a place in Lil Toll, you're a shitter. I don't know, it might make you cry. It will make me cry. Maybe the next time. Are you worried about totally, totally? I feel like I also don't want to talk about Lilt either.

I feel like this. No, no, no, no. This is actually is a big issue that they're changing Lilt. And obviously we all remember when they changed Coco Pops to Choco Crispies. People complained so much they changed it back to Coco Pops. Are you going to be campaigning for it to be changed back to Lilt? No, I've got not a lot of time on my hands. Busy. Everything you've said in this podcast would not suggest that.

What, whoofing? Whoofing. Yeah, that's not. Clearing your diary every day. Yeah, I guess it's lockdown stuff. Clearing the diary to prepare my meals. First the spaghetti bolognese that takes five hours. Then the duck that I have to line up like a big line so I can eat it like a snake. I think you've got time to sign a petition

to bring back Lilt. Let's be honest, I'm starting though. They don't sign a petition, I'm making a petition. No, I just, I do really like Lilt. I also like, I don't really drink, but I did, I used to have a big period where I would drink white Russians when I did drink a lot and I would bring all the ingredients to like parties and that and

a little real fucking weird guy. Yeah. Yeah. Drinking, well, cause it looks like milk. You're drinking milk out of a glass. Yeah, of course. Um, but I really like, I really like milk. And if you arrive with the ingredients, so you are arriving at a party with milk. Yeah, with shopping. Minimum a shopping bag full of stuff. What's it, Kahlua, milk, vodka? Vodka, ice as well. You've got to bring the ice in case of an ice. I can't live without ice. I look pretty mental. I don't get a lot of advice. I don't get adviced to a lot, I'd say.

Nothing you've said sounds like... You've just turned up with two litres of Lilt. Yeah. I can't now. I've just checked. They've already got rid of all the Lilt's in the shops. There's no why I can't now. They've already, they've, I just checked. They've already like, um, got rid of all the Lilts in the shops. There was no, there's no Lilts anymore now. No way. Now they've got rid of it. It was a quick turnover when I first heard and then went out to go. I think people went on a mad Lilts grab. Yeah, but you would cause you get to sell them to people like me. 20 years later. How much would you pay? A hundred thousand pounds. Yeah. Fair enough. Well like now or in five years? In five years. Five

years for a cannon plant. One million. So a hundred thousand was now? Now. Yeah, okay, yeah. That was the day. A week after the bomb. Yeah. I'm gasping, I'm gasping.

I need to hoof that too. Yeah. Share it with the lads. I feel like Lil, this is how much advertising affects me. So it's a gray day today. It's been snowing. It's pretty cold.

It's Christmas Eve by the way. Yeah. On the clock. It's 11.30 at Christmas Eve. I'm being pulled away from my family who are out to talk into that dark, but to come out the dark. I wouldn't drink a little on a day like today. I need to be warm because it's totally tropical. Yeah. I would be drinking it today. Yeah. Yeah. Three a day. Would you not feel like a bit weird drinking a little in the rain? Nah man. I do every... nah. What are you talking about? Why would it be weird to drink a Lilt in the rain?

Because it's totally tropical. More of the reason to drink it, because if it's miserable then you want a Lilt. Right and that would like, that brightens you up. Yeah, yeah, because I need that. In podcasts they call me the killer on a podcast because I really ruin a lot of them man. Really? Yeah, yeah. I'm real down. I'm actually quite excited for this one because it's about food, which is one of my two interests.

Yeah. What's your other interest? Whoofing. Whoofing? Whoofing. Spaghetti, bread rolls, whatever I can get my hands on. Yeah. So, food based. Eating food and kicking food. Yeah, kicking food.

Kicking and eating food. Yeah. And no, I didn't say cooking and eating food. Kicking an eating food. Yeah. Okay. So a can of Lilt, cold. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, not just cold.

Okay. Cold kind of Lilt. I don't want to punish myself with a warm Lilt. Hey, I don't know. Some people like warm soft drinks. Okay. You know, I don't want to name people who like them. Yeah.

I like them sometimes. What do you mean you like warm soft drinks? Sometimes I like it when a soft drink has gone flat. Yeah, we don't keep our soft drinks in the fridge at home. It's disgusting. They're just on the kitchen floor. Well, I can get them. Yeah. Call over, help yourself. Can you open up the can for me please Ed? Yeah. You cry, you whimper. Claw in at the cat flap. Go have a can please. Open it with your mouth, boy. I'm not about to. Please tie me up.

See, the thing is, you're really angry at the person that wrote that story. Yes. But every time we talk about it like this, they are fucking, they are. Can you imagine? On edges and everywhere. Yeah, they've had to pause this podcast so many times to clean up and then come back and play it. Can you frame a podcast episode?

Can you frame an episode? Because they'll be in their house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Frame on the fucking wall. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. On the fucking wall. Definitely. They're in prison this person. Let's face it. Yeah. Well, they did something horrific after all that.

It's Charles Bronson that's done this. They wrote that, then they went on some sort of awful sexual spree. Yeah. And now they're in prison. No one's telling them about this episode. They haven't got a clue what's going on. We'll be playing this through the prison intercom. Disgusting.

I mean, you brought it up again. Good luck hearing it and then not bringing it up all the time. I'm still dealing with it. But this is the exact sort of reaction that you know has led you to be the crying boy in the story. Have you just more control? I've got fucking feelings. Yeah. I'm the crying boy because of that. If you just took this on the chin like a normal person maybe they wouldn't write stories about you. I've not read the end of the story. Yeah, no I've not either. I couldn't even read because I find the stories. Take it on the chin Joe. Yeah, yeah. It was my job to find the stories and I didn't even want to read the heads of this one. So you're not going to drink Fanta pineapple and grapefruit? No I won't. You refuse to drink it? I'll be

leaving Matt to Coke. Yeah. You're not even going to drink it just to see if it tastes similar? No, because I want, no I'm not having it. It's not about, it's the whole thing. Like it's not just the taste of the drink. It's the lil. It's the picture on there. Yeah. You know, it's beautiful. It's a beautiful picture. The way the lil looks in the can. Look at the shelf of cans, well you can't anymore. Look at the shelf of cans. Lil stands out. It's amazing. It looks incredible. It stands out. It does. It It looks incredible. It stands out. It does. Stands out to me. Yeah, because it's a...

Because you're looking for a little. Yeah. Yeah. It says little on it. Yeah. No other drink says little on it. Your dream dessert. So this isn't something I've not had before, but when I used to walk back from football

in my old school there was... Oh, is there something you've not had before? Yeah, we've had people do that before. This is amazing. Okay, sorry, carry on. So I'm walking back, right, from football and there was like a chippy and you can go in and you can actually buy a battered Mars bar from the shop for £1.70 but if you came in with your own chocolate bar they would batter it for a pound, whatever you wanted. This didn't exist, I think Kit Kat chunky peanut butter are my favourite chocolate

bars. I would then now take that into that shop then get that battered and then I would have that with ice cream. But I don't know what it tasted, but I can only imagine how good that would taste. That would taste incredible. Do you reckon? Yeah. But what a service. Yeah. So what happened? Have you had like deep fried chocolate bars before? Yeah, like I would have one every time we came back from them. So what happens to, because I had some deep fried Oreos once and basically the Oreos is pretty much dissolved in the batter and it was like a pretty bad dinky doughnut and it wasn't what I had in my head. Is it batter or was it just deep fried? It was batter. So they put the oreos in the batter, deep fried them, but then like it was like a little doughnut with like a kind of oreo filling but not really and I was like this is very disappointing.

So I had in my head like an ore Oreo that's a bit gooey and soft, but uncovered in batter. So when I think of deep fried Mars bars and the like, I always think like, it's still a solid like Mars bar size block of like all the gooeyness and then outside you've got the batter. But actually, is it just that it kind of just like... It's a gooey filling. So you're the outside of the batter is the crispy bit you want. So that's your crisp and inside it's just the it's the chocolate barb and liquid. But it hasn't like vaporized because like these Oreos it's not vaporized it's still in there. It was like there was like hardly anything in there.

Yeah Oreos are quite like... That's a biscuit though isn't it? Yeah well that's why I'm asking with this do you have like a chocolate barb's worth of the goo and you can go... Yeah because it's all in there. And it hasn't just like piddiddled away to nothing. No, it's all in there. It's all trapped in there. Plus there's like wafer in there as well, right? In the Kit Kat junkie. Yeah, there's wafer too, so I'm assuming that's not going away. You can't melt a wafer, can you? No. No? So the wafer's staying as it is.

But yeah, I've tried a lot of different ones. Lion bar really lights in there, cause I also like lion bars in general. Snickers is good. But yeah, I never have the opportunity to deep fry. And I'd have that with ice cream. Yeah. What kind of ice cream? Vanilla. Yeah. Yeah. What would you do? Oh yeah. I mean, now you're talking. I mean, that definitely like one of the best chocolate bars is the peanut butter Kit Kat Chunky. So I'd join you if you were doing that. Yeah. We've got a comedian for each course joining me. We've got Howard, Graham and now Acastle. Yeah, yeah, whatever I mean, you know.

All joining my house, we're gonna all hoof a roll together. I'll hoof a roll, I was coming over. You're like hoofing a roll with your feet tied up. I would want to get an entire big block of Whittakers, peanut butter Whittakers or the jelly tip Whittakers or the PB&J Whittakers and have that deep fried. Never seen huge laughs like that, I can't believe it. I've never laughed before. Oh gosh. Cream egg. Not a cream egg, cream eggs are disgusting. I've never laughed before. Oh, gosh.

Cream egg. Not a cream egg. Cream eggs are disgusting. Oh, come on, mate. They're disgusting. If you have a cream egg, take a look at yourself in the mirror. I mean, I can't eat cream eggs. No? I mean, medically, it would be an absolute disaster. Is that what you do? It's like the equivalent of like a vampire when they're about to go and they look into the sun like a blade.

Is your version of that like your last day? Yeah, just eat a cream egg and then explode. James, you untie James and then he puts an egg into your mouth. Revenge. If the story ends like that, fine. Yeah, nice. Now I'm walking out of there, then it's like end of usual suspects. I was the powerful one all along. No, you start crawling and then you suddenly realise that you can walk.

And I'm walking down the street smoking. Throwing off the handcuffs. Yeah. Oh brilliant. I love that dessert though. Yeah, that is good. It's a good dessert. This whole thing has been overshadowed by the... It has definitely. Of course it has.

But it's like, you know, I'm leaving this episode knowing that the world is that much worse and I thought it was going in. You know, I mean, I knew that there was fan fiction out there. You recommended me to check out some of the Taskmaster ones. Oh yeah, they're mad. They're just as bad. Yeah, I knew there was Taskmaster ones. I knew that there was off-menu ones because actually a while ago, I think someone was saying that they were thinking of doing another podcast with someone else and they never made it in the end, but there was similar, like reading out fanfic and they were like, oh, the pilot's going to be off-menu because there's

loads of it. I was like, oh, so I knew it was there, but I didn't ask a follow up question when that person said that and go, what happens in it? I mean, I guess I could have predicted. Even in this room, I'm feeling shame and it didn't even happen. Yeah. Because I'll tell you what it was for me this then. I kind of could have, if you'd said to me, what roles do you think you and Ed have in it? I would have gone, oh yeah, I'm probably the more submissive one. The boy.

I wouldn't have guessed the boy. They never referred to you as James. It's always the boy. I would have thought the audience would have, you know, that the fans would have seen us if we, you know, like with Greg and Alex, it's like, well, clearly it's gonna be Greg banging Alex. So like, so like with this, it was like, yeah, they'll probably have. Maybe, depends on who's writing it.

Being kind of in charge. I would not have guessed it was going to those extremes. That it's like completely... I have no point of you dry-eyed. No point of my dry-eyed. Let's read Hugh's menu back to him. Yes, huge. See how you feel about this. Still water, pop-almonds are bread, Pizza Express, Doe Balls, Doppio, Stata, Crispy Aromatic Duck Pancakes, Main,

Your Homemade Spaghetti Bolognese, Side Dish, Greg's Festive Bake, Drink, Lilt in a Cold Can, Dessert, battered Kit Kat Chunky, Peanut Butter with Ice Cream. Mm-hmm. Delicious. Delicious. Yeah, to be fair, you said before this, before we started recording, you went, I think my menu is pretty disgusting, but I don't think it... I think it's great. I think it's that if you take away the great, I think it's most of the greats do a lot of the hard

work there for the disgusting. Really? Yeah, Greg's on the side. No, it's nice. No, it's quite inspired. I'd eat every single thing on your menu I would eat after I've been swimming. Every single thing. Yeah. Don't you think? Why after you've been swimming? Well, swimming food, like when you're a kid

is very specific, right? Things from vending machines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chocolate bars, bolognese. Yeah, it is quite childish actually. Yeah, but like posh kid. Yeah, yeah. Bolognese slopping is quite childish actually. Yeah, but like posh kid. Yeah, yeah. Bolognese slopping out of a vending machine.

Scooping it into your towel like that. Well, it's delicious anyway. I'm a fan. Yeah, and also, you know, thanks for sharing the recipe because I wouldn't have guessed there was ketchup in it. Yeah, that's the secret ingredient. I know someone used to put the Marmite. Yeah, Marmite in pasta sauces is good.

People say that. Even if it's not just a big spoon of Marmite. Thank you very much, Huge. Thanks for having me here, lads. Thank you, Huge. Well, James, oh, sorry, the boy. No, do not call me that! I'm a man! Don't that. I'm a man. Don't cry.

I'm a man. Well, that was a very enlightening chat with Huge Davies. Yeah, enlightening. What about who? Yeah. Not about Huge, about some of the pervs out there. I love that. Brilliant.

And you know what, his menu, even though, I mean, he was worried it was disgusting. I guess it was like, if you read it on a sheet of paper, you'd be like, that feels pretty basic. But then the way he described the spaghetti bolognese, obviously, crispy duck pancakes always a winner. Yeah. Dough balls, a classic. I think, you know, if I didn't know what was coming, if I sat down and said, someone said, do you want some dough balls from Pussy Express? I'm saying yes. I eat them. If they then say to me, Oh, do you want some crispy duck pancakes? Yes. Yes. I eat those. Do you want homemade

spaghetti bolognese? Yes. So like I'm not, if I see it all on one of my, I'm not having that as a meal. But if you're asking me as we're going along, do you now want a festive pasty from Greg's? I'll try that. Like, so like ended on the deep fried chocolate bar. Yeah. There you go. Can't argue with it. So I do it. Yeah. And he didn't say cubed Feta. He didn't say cubed Feta. Um, I don't even know. I mean, yeah. When he said there was a secret ingredient in the spag bolas, I hope it's not the secret ingredient. If it was cubed Feta, that'd be horrible. And spag bolas would be fair. Yeah. But you know, so it's cream and someone did that. Yeah. Someone came on the podcast and shows that didn't they? Weird guy though. Yeah. It's quite an odd person. Yeah. Um, huge has two podcasts, Slime Country, which we heard quite a lot

about in this episode with N9's Sunil Patel as well, uh, where they obviously have a section where they read fanfic out. Yep. Um, I'd imagine that some people will be going to seek that specific episode out. I imagine some people will be singing that episode. Also the film quiz podcast with Nick Helm, Hugh does that as well. Love a film quiz. Yes, you do love a film quiz actually. Yes, very excited about that.

Yeah, it's- I know which one of the two podcasts I'd rather listen to personally. And Hugh is a brilliant standup as we say, so go and follow him on social media. James Boy, thank you for another lovely episode. Thank you, Ed. And I guess I'll see you later when I let myself in.

I need my keys back. Thank you. Hello. It's Rob Orton here. Now I've got a podcast called the Rob Orton Daily Podcast. It's a short poem or story or amusing on a particular subject every single day. What if you commissioned Picasso to paint your house and he just painted it white? Would you be annoyed? Wouldn't it be good if you could pour miracle grow onto other things, such as pizzas? Have you ever thought about what a beach might be like if it was made from digestive

biscuits? Have you ever tried to cry about something you're not thinking about? If you would like to listen to a daily podcast that includes subjects I've mentioned there, then please listen to the Rob Orton Daily Podcast.