Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 256: Hammed Animashaun

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

‘Black Ops’ star and BAFTA-nominated actor Hammed Animashaun has a booking this week. But will Colonel Sanders and Mr Kipling be dining with him? Hammed Animashaun is currently starring in ‘Kiss Me Kate’ at the Barbican Theatre in London until 14 September. Get tickets at kissmekatemusical.com Follow Hammed on Instagram @hammedhamzRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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podcast everywhere. Acast.com Welcome to the off menu podcast, taking the halloumi of conversation, chopping it up into the fries of friendship, dipping in the egg of humor, using the breadcrumbs of the internet and deep frying in the oil of content. It's halloumi fries, James. I think content has made an appearance. No, it hasn't. And I was really panicking to work out what the oil would be. And I've got content and I suppose this is content in a way. Finally people who provide content. Yes in the in the way that modern content is just just something isn't it? Yeah, well, this is a historic day. So anyone listening to this?

Make sure you post congratulations to the off-menu podcast for finally producing content. Welcome to the off-menu podcast. That is Ed Gamble My name is James Acaster together. We're in a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a guest. We ask them their favourite ever star, a main course dessert, cider, chan, drink, not in that order. And this week our guest is... Hamid Animashan. Hamid Animashan is a wonderful actor, a hugely incredible comic actor. I mean, I've recommended this show to you.

Black Ops, he's in, has had one series on the BBC. Him and the rest of the cast are so, so funny. The script is watertight. It is a genuinely exciting action comedy. And it's made me laugh probably more than any other sitcom in the last five years. I loved it. Not only is he killing it on the screen,

also on the stage at the minute in Kiss Me Kate. Yes, he's in the hit musical comedy Kiss Me Kate, new production of that at the Barbican Theatre. It's already started but it is on until the 14th of September. I'm also starring Adrienne Dunbar, Nigel Lindsay, Stephanie J. Block. Do go and see that, I'm sure it's gonna be absolutely wonderful and you can get tickets from kissmekatemusical.com. Very exciting, however listen, as always on this podcast, if Hamid chooses the secret ingredient,

an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will have to kick him out of the dream restaurant. Yeah, it'd be less a case of kiss me Kate, or it'd be more like don't kiss me Hamid. Kick me Kate. Kick me out, kick me out, no, not kick me out Hamid, because he wouldn't kick me out.

And this week, the secret ingredient is tamarind. Tamarind. Now, I don't agree with this, but this was suggested to us by an audience member on the tour in Manchester. We obviously rejected it out of hand in Manchester, because tamarind is a wonderful thing. It's sweet, it's sour, it adds a lot to every single dish that it's in. You know, I normally have it in paste form, you know, I have it in paste form, but obviously it's like a fruit normally. It's like a what? Fruit. I've never heard you say it's in. You know, I normally have it in paste form. You don't have it in paste form. It's like a fruit. Normally. It's like a what fruit. I've never heard you say it. I'm not. I tell you what it is. I've been on tour with Chloe

Pets and we speak to each other in the car by every time that we like our words and we like saying it like that. So you were bringing part of your tour. Yes. Tor persona. Yeah, fruit. But it's you and you. Yeah. I believe that that excuse as well because it was too pronounced. Yeah. Too pronounced. To be a complete accident. Just yeah, easily rolls off the tongue and it's really fun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it is a lovely, I mean, that's just my voice fruit. But, uh, so we wouldn't choose this but whoever it was in Manchester and you know who you are. Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself. So you know, make sure you claim

responsibility for this and Benito will send you a signed chopping board. Yes. So you know, nothing we can do about it now. The secret ingredient is tamarind. Yes. This is very exciting. Should we should we get to it? Yes. This is the off menu menu of Hamid and Amishan. Welcome Hamid to the dream restaurant. Welcome Hamid and Amishan to the dream restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. Thanks, man. Thanks for having me, appreciate it. You are most welcome. So we're obviously in the Dream Restaurant here.

So, you know, it can be any restaurant that you want it to be. Cool. How do you think it looks in your mind if you're walking into the Dream Restaurant? What do you reckon it looks like? Yeah, Dream Restaurant for me is always quite homey. Yeah.

So like couches and sofas and stuff. Nice. And like armchairs. Yeah. And trays instead of tables. So it's like family style. Which you rarely get in an actual restaurant when you think about it.

Imagine walking into an actual restaurant and there's an armchair there and they bring it you on a tray. That would be amazing. It'd have to be called trays, the restaurant. You really gotta give people a heads up for that if it's a restaurant. Yeah.

I would like that though. I think that's quite cool. Yeah. I think that's quite, I think that'd be a vibe. I'm all about chill and good vibes. Yeah. I definitely have to wear dark colored clothing. Yeah. Because if I'm crocs, yeah. Yeah. Crocs. Yeah. Cause I'm spilling, I'm spilling stuff immediately. If I'm all hunched up on it. Yeah. On a tray is going straight down my front. Oh yeah. I've never been good at eating with the tray on my lap. Or the worst is the plate on your lap.

If there's no trays available. Yeah, or you go to barbecues and you've got paper plates and you've got to sit there like that. Yeah. Knees together, yeah. Or being at a barbecue and everyone's standing up and you've got a paper plate and then you're trying to fork something,

holding onto a paper plate and it just bends and everything slides off. Everything falls off, yeah. Try cutting into that hard chicken. It's the worst. When I was starting out in standup, we started start, we started out at the same time as Josh Whiddicom. And Josh and I would try and write routines together. And one of the routines we tried to make work, we can never make work. And both of us tried it in our set was a routine

about laps and how the lap is the only part of the body that only exists when just sitting down. I mean, it's a good observation, but also where do you go from that? Where do you go from there? Well, we tried all sorts of things. The classic act out of sitting down and standing up and going, where the hell's my lap? That's funny, man. Yeah. Bring it back. Yeah. Laps could work these days. If you don't do it, hammer's going to do it. It's going to be in the next series of black ops. Yeah. I'll give you a credit. I feel like your character in that show would say something like that. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. You would say stuff

like that a hundred percent in the middle of like a high speed chase or something. Or a life threatening fight. And he was and he was like, think about laps. I do like that we got that, I don't think we've talked about the trays on the laps before. No. And especially if we do make that the dream restaurant, that's going to be quite a unique episode. Yeah, I think that's great. I think it's really nice. What's the tray made of? Uh, no, it's, it will be recyclable plastic. Yeah. Just for the environment. We've got to take care of our planet, you know? Yeah, shout out to the environment. Shout out to the environment this episode.

Yeah, paper plates, wooden cutlery. Raw, this sounds more like a barbecue. Before we do get into the menu, congratulations on Kiss Me, Kate. Thank you. It's open to rave reviews. It's going great. How's it been? It's been going really well. It's kind of crazy when you're on stage and you turn to your left or your right and you've got Ted Hastings stood next to you. But no, Adrian

Dunbar who's in the show plays Fred Graham is amazing. And that's Stephanie J Block who plays Lily, Vanessa, who's come all the way from the US, it is her West End debut, Broadway legends. Yeah, it's just, it's great. It's so much fun. And as Pete Davidson of the show has played General, and I- Not that one, James. I was literally like, sorry, what? And Nigel Lindsay, who I play opposite, we both play the gangsters. It's just really fun and an amazing ensemble, amazing band. We've got a 16 piece orchestra. Yeah, it's great fun.

And it's with the Barbican. It's an amazing theater to be an audience member in, just because it looks like no other theater as well when you arrive, because it's all that brutalist architecture. It doesn't feel like there could be such a beautiful performance space in there, but it's an incredible place. Yeah. I mean, I've always wanted to work there. I think one of the first things I saw there, oh gosh, oh, it was Coriolanus. And I remember thinking, oh, this would be a great place to perform in. And so there, however many years later, I'm now on that stage. It's kind of crazy, but yeah, it's such a beautiful theater and such a great space. And like in

the middle of the city of London as well, you wouldn't think that that space would be there. Like you said, yeah, you know, in the middle of an estate, but it is, and it's, you know, it's amazing. It's great. Have you had a barbecue at the barbecue? I don't think you're allowed to have barbecues at the barbecue, but if I was allowed to have a barbecue at the barbecue, I would. Are you a food fan? Depends on how hungry I am. Is that a good answer? Yeah, I mean, it's an answer we don't really get very often. Because I think people say they're foodies or they're not foodies. You're saying when you're hungry, you're very interested in it.

But when you're not, you're like, whatever. Don't think about it. I don't really think about it. No, I think I am a bit of a foodie. I don't know. I think my wife is more of a foodie than I am. Right. But if I'm really hungry, then I'm like, oh, okay, I want something that really tastes good. So I want to really savor it and enjoy it. And if I'm not, I'm like, just get me a meal deal. I think I'm the other way around. If I'm really hungry, I'm just like, I've got to grab the first thing that's near me to deal with that situation.

Yeah. And if I'm not very hungry, then I'll really think about what I want. But no, but that's logical thinking backwards like that. I just be obsessed with like, I think you're bringing out a lot of stories for me from the early comedy days, the open spot and M&S had this meal deal on because it was in Sempangasas coming from Ketron all the time. I just get this meal deal, it was like two quid, very cheap for like these sandwiches and crisps. And then you get a drink with it. And- Thanks for explaining what a meal deal is. No, no, no, by some meal deals.

You don't do that. Well, actually, to be honest, you could sub the crisps for an item of fruit if you wanted to. Yeah, for a fruit bag. You could do that. Yeah, like a meal deal, yeah. Huh?

Like a meal deal, yeah. This was M&S meal deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Like a meal deal. Yeah. Yeah. Like a meal deal. Yeah. This was M and S meal deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. And you go do it. And the meal deal was great. And then it ended eventually. But then one day I went in and I got it anyway, even though it wasn't meal deal time. And when I was in the queue, I thought to myself, I thought to myself, this is pretty old school, what I'm doing now. It's like back in the meal deal days. And then I made myself laugh. And then when I was paying for it, I was laughing and I had to explain to the lady that till while I was laughing, she was like, it was funny. I was like, I'm getting the meal. It was not

even meal deal time anymore. And she was like, okay. And didn't look impressed. And it didn't do much. My confidence was an open spot. Cause you were trying to work out a bit about that, right? Yeah, I was really, that's what you do, especially when you're open spot, you're trying to find what's funny and I was like, that's funny, that's hilarious. And I was like, if she doesn't get it and she works in M&S. Yeah, then you're kind of, yeah, I get that. Yeah, yeah, it's sad. Do you have a standard go-to meal deal that you might get?

A standard go-to, yeah. Ploughman's, cheese onion crisps, and a bottle of still water. Nice. Well, that might answer our first question then. We always start with still or sparkling water. Is it still water over sparkling for you every time? Always, always.

I can't stand sparkling water. Why can't you stand sparkling water? I feel like sparkling water with people who have hidden agendas. Yeah, fair enough. I don't know man, I don't know how you can drink that stuff. Well I'm actually drinking a can of liquid death sparkling right now. I saw that and I was like watching my back to see if anyone was going to try and scare

me or something. Cause I've got a hidden agenda. Yeah, I don't know, I can't really trust people who drink sparkling water. It's not normal for me. It's just Bonito's run out of still cans of liquid death. So I thought I'd have a sparkling to treat myself. But apparently it shows I've got a hidden side. That's just my wicked brain.

Don't let him gaslight you. I think you're right. Has it ever changed your opinion on someone? You've been hanging out with someone, getting on with them and then they order Sparking Water. I stopped talking to someone when I saw them drinking Sparking Water one time. When I was much younger then and I didn't have a filter. I was chatting to someone and I was like, oh, what drink are you like? And then they said Sparking Water and I was like, I'm just going to go to the toilet.

I'll be right back. They never came back. You never came out of the toilet? No, no, no. What was the context of you hanging out with them? No, it was just, you know, just hanging out. Wasn't the date? No, it wasn't the date, we were just chatting.

But I was much younger then. I was probably like, well, I don't know, 18 or 19. Yeah. It was hard, you know, what'd you like? She said, sparking water or something. I was like, pfft. Because if you drink sparking water, that's just like. That's a red flag. Carbon, yeah, carbonated water. Cause if you drink sparking water, that's just like. That's a red flag.

Carbon. Yeah. Carbonated water. Yeah. Doesn't sound right. Does it? No, it's just not. You got hidden agenda.

I've got hidden agenda. I can put my finger on it now. I've just got to go to the toilet. I'll be back in a minute. Are you kidding me? No, no, but I'll do a bit that I'm going to go leave. Oh, right. Oh, just to give you the, just to give you the background on this, Hamid. James also regularly has to go to the

toilet during podcasts. Cool. Yeah. So then he's gone to the toilet loads before you arrive. Yeah. So when he was doing the bit then it was a good bit, but unfortunately I thought you meant you were going to go to the toilet. I was doing a call back to you leaving the person, but Ed was like, James, you've been for five pisses before I haven't got here. And now we haven't even got to the start. You just said I need to go to the toilet because I delivered it so convincingly. As an actor, what did you think of my delivery then? I thought it was brilliant. Because that made Ed believe it.

Yeah, exactly. I thought it was fantastic. Yeah. Well, no, I didn't believe it. I thought you were talking about something else. So if anything, your clarity was dreadful. I didn't get the intention of what you meant, which is sort of surely the basis of that thing. That's what acting is all about, man. It's all about interpretation. So yeah, you'll be as ambiguous as you can every single sentence you say. Can do. Absolutely. I've been misunderstood for years. every single sentence you say. Can do, absolutely.

I've been misunderstood for years. Pop it up, it's all bread. Pop it up, it's all bread, how about that number Sean? Pop it up, it's all bread. Bread. Now, A, thank you for parroting my delivery. No, it's all right.

It means a lot, because sometimes people talk back to me very chilled and I feel like I've gone overboard. Any particular type of bread? Sourdough bread. Yeah, yeah, white sourdough bread. I'm still on the sourdough train. A lot of people are turning against sourdough these days. Is it? Yeah.

And I don't know why they're saying it's too hard. Maybe it's just because you can find it in more places now. But to me, that's a great thing. I love sourdough. Sourdough bread is really nice, really tasty. People complain when it's everywhere. Yeah. If you're not a fan, if it's not your tasty. People complain when it's everywhere. Yeah. If you're not a fan, if it's not your favorite one,

then when it's everywhere, it does your head in, where it didn't used to before. You know, it's like Michael McIntyre. Like loads of people for aders were like, yeah, he's pretty funny. But then when he was everywhere, I was like, I fucking hate McIntyre. Well, actually they don't really hate him.

He's just everywhere. Yeah, he's just everywhere, cause he's funny. He is. He's like sourdough. He's just everywhere. Yeah, just everywhere. Yeah. Cause he's funny. He is. He's like sourdough. He's like sourdough bread. Yeah. Delicious with avocados on.

Michael McIntyre is delicious with avocados. That's what I've been told. That is true. Is there a particular place that you get sourdough bread from that you absolutely love? Sainsbury's. Yeah. Yeah, they do great sourdough bread.

I've been there. Sainsbury's. Yeah, yeah. It's good, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Nowads. I've been there. Sainsbury's? Yeah. Yeah. It's good, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Now, you know, James, at Sainsbury's, you could probably get a sandwich, a drink and some crisps. M&S Meal Deal at Sainsbury's.

What, it's a Sainsbury's Meal Deal? Yeah. But it's not too quick. I don't know if you got that right. I think you should Google that because that sounds like the M&S Meal Deal. Maybe the S in M&S stands for Sainsbury's actually. Yeah, maybe. Maybe, maybe. How do you stands for Sainsbury's actually. Yeah, maybe, yeah.

Maybe, maybe. How do you want the sourdough like? Warm with butter. Yeah, salted. Salted butter. Oh yeah. How do you feel about unsalted butter? Again, it's fine if you're baking a cake,

but why are you putting that on your bread? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? What if someone's got unsalted butter and sparked the water on the go? I'm out. I'm out, man. Even now at this age, you're not 18 or 19 anymore.

You're walking out the room if there's unsalted butter. Well, I'll ask questions. So like, if I'm sat at a table and I see sparkling water and unsalted butter with sourdough bread, and the bread's not even warm or toasted, then I'm like, okay, so what are you doing with the butter? I'm just going to spread it on the bread's not even warm or toasted. Then I'm like, okay, so what are you doing with the butter? I'm just gonna spread it on the bread. Ah!

You gonna drink that water too? Oh yeah, I love sparkling water. Oh, just gotta make a quick phone call, be right back. Right, hang on, so I said, you just gonna leave the room and you said, no, I'm gonna ask questions. But the questions are, is that that? And then you're just going to leave the room. You said, no, I'm going to ask questions. But the questions are, is that that? And then you're just leaving anyway.

Yeah, but if I ask questions, the answers are wrong. I'm out. Yeah, but I don't see what other answers they would have. Right? Because if it's there. No, because they could probably be like, oh, I'm know the butters for a cake I'm baking. Yeah.

I don't know what the situation is. When you're sat at a table with someone, they're like, no, that's for a cake I'm baking. The sparkly waters, I'm cleaning something with it. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, that's all right. So you get it, you get it straight and then you leave. Yeah.

Yeah. If I'm using this as a cleaning agent, then I'm like, if I'm using the sparkly water as a cleaning agent, I'm like, cool. How is that not a red flag to you? That would worry me if someone was like, yeah, the sparkly water, I'm using it as a cleaning agent, then I'm like, if I'm using the sparkling water as a cleaning agent, I'm like, cool. How is that not a red flag to you? That would worry me if someone was like, yeah, the sparkling water, I'm using it as a cleaning agent. Yeah, because I'm not gonna drink it. You're gonna use it to clean the dishes or you're gonna use it to... That's weird, huh?

No, like to spit shine the glasses or something, like you do that to me, like shine the glasses with sparkling water, you're gonna bake a cake with the unsalted butter. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like, oh okay, cool, fine. What if they said they were gonna bake a cake with the unsalted butter and then use the sparkling water to clean the cake? To clean the cake? Yeah. As in like, just give it a little dash of...

You're gonna clean the cake with the sparkling water? Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, you're okay with that? As long as they don't drink it, I'm good. When you say to the most got, go and make a phone call, is it completely a lie or are you gonna go and phone maybe the police or like someone who's been here? It's a lie, it's a lie.

I don't think it's a warrant, it's the police. Well, next time you can ring us. I'll try. And just let us know. I will do that, I will do that. I'll ring you man. And then I'm probably gonna ring you because you drink sparkling water.

Yeah, don't trust Ed. I'll be at home having a I'm probably won't ring you because you drink sparkling water. Yeah don't trust that actually. I'll be home having a bath in it. Your dream starter. Oh okay yeah so my dream start would be chilli salted corn ribs. Oh yeah. Lovely. Love corn ribs. When did corn ribs first come into your life? Mate I tried it a couple of years ago with my, me and my wife went out for dinner

and they, we saw it on the menu, corn ribs. And we were like, corn ribs? When did that ever come into, how is that a thing? Yeah, let's give it a go. Mate, we, oh, it's so good. Delicious. They're incredible. I think I might've had them for the first time. There's a restaurant called Fallow in London

and had them there. And then I think they suddenly they're everywhere as well. Like I think they started doing them like Wahaka or something as well. But you've tried to make them, right? I made them loads. Yeah. I love making them.

Yeah. Yeah. But I don't want to have to chop up a cob. Chopping up the cob is hard. I will admit. Yeah. But yeah, I've got a good technique now. I've had to do it. Yeah, I get through them a lot quicker. The first time anyone listening, if you're planning on chopping

up some cobs, the first time you might just be careful because it's very easy to just like end up with a knife in yourself, in your belly, really, because that's like chopping board height. And then when the when the cob disappears from underneath the knife. So you just take it slow, but now I'm all over that. It's great. And then you make them really quickly,

toss them in a bowl with all the, whatever you want, chili salt in this case. Yeah, delicious. Love it. So good, so good. And you can pretend like, when it says corn ribs, what creature do you imagine? The ribs have come creature do you imagine?

The ribs have come from, I imagine Jolly Green Giant. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's quite small ribs for the Jolly Green Giant. He's got a lot of them. Oh, is that what you imagine you're eating? Yeah, Jolly Green Giant's ribs. Right, okay. Caught him and killed him.

Yeah. And then I'm eating his ribs now. Do you imagine that they're from a creature? I've never thought of it that way. No, it's weird, actually. Well, yeah, it's the a creature? No, I've never thought of it that way. It's weird. Well, yeah, it's the only creature I can think of who would have sweet corn ribs is the jolly green giant. Yeah, that's true. Actually. Yeah, I hear that. I think he would definitely have sweet corn ribs and maybe a cornless cob as a penis. A cornless cob. Yeah. So all the corn will be off of it. I can't imagine him having a corn on the cob penis, but I can imagine him just having a

cob penis. Yeah. I mean, if he had a corn on the cob penis, he'd probably have to see someone. Yeah, yeah, he would. Nobody wants a corny penis. No one wants that. No, because no one's penis is made out of the same thing as their ribs are. Yeah, that would be mad.

That would be crazy. Yeah, if your ribs and your penis are the same thing, their ribs are. Yeah, that would be mad. That'd be crazy. Yeah. If your ribs and your penis are the same thing, see a doctor. That's actually a very important message for anyone listening. I heard that the Jolly Green Giants had one of his corn ribs taken out so he can suck himself off. That's why there's no corn on the cob. He had to go around it sideways though. He knows what he likes. Where did you have these corn ribs for the first time? I think it was what hacker.

Yeah. And chili salt is your preferred. Yeah. We said chili salt. So you led with that. I was like, this could be a number of things. I'm excited immediately. As long as anything that's chili salt, squared, I had chili salt cauliflower the other day. It's

always, always the winner. The other day, cause I'm on tour at the moment. We bought, we got Nando's and bought Perry salt, ordered Perry salt on Deliveroo. They'd send you a jar. So that just comes everywhere with us now. I'll put it on anything. Did they really? Yeah. Well, you, I mean, you have to pay for it, but like, cause they'll send sachets of sauces, but sometimes they forget. So if I'll have to order the sauce, but then they sell you a bottle of sauce basically. So I just take round a bottle of sauce and then we've got a pair of salt. Basically the whole car is just seasonings. Yeah. Yeah. Our friend, John Robbins carries around like a full jiffy bag of condiments stuff with him all the time that he's taking from hotels and whatever. Have you ever done anything like that? I don't carry condiments around with me,

but in my main places that I go to, there are condiments there, if that makes sense. So I've got like bases. You've got like sort of stashes of condiments. Yeah, I've got condiment bases. So I've got a whole bunch at the Barbican, obviously at some at home, at my mum's, like a little corner where I've got all my special ones there,

so no one, actually no one doesn't even notice there. Just like all my like bases, like I've got my special condiments there. Take us through what's in the different bases. Okay, so at the barbecue in my dressing room, I have obviously you got to have ketchup, but then I do have perinase. Nice. Just to mix things up a bit. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? So I don't have like do have perinase. Nice. Nice. Just to mix things up a bit. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? So I don't have like mayonnaise, perinase. Yeah. Then I've got the

chili salt, then I've got garlic powder and I've got hot sauce. Wow. Delicious. And are the other cast members allowed to touch your condiment base? Well, they don't know about this until you're honest with yourself. Yeah. Oh no. They just have to knock on my door if they want some. Dunbar's going to be all over that chilli salt. Yeah. Don't leave Davidson. No, no, no. Have that stuff.

No, no, no. That guy. I won't. I won't. That guy can't be trusted. No, I won't. You can ask the ketchup. You can not be trusted that man.

What kind of hot sauce is it? It's the Scotch bonnet hot sauce. How close to going on stage would you have Scotch bonnet hot sauce? Yeah, back back and then go on. Back back, go on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not, you wouldn't risk sort of overdoing it and then go on and, I mean, I'd, for instance, me personally, if I overdo it on the spice, I get the hiccups.

Oh, no, no, I would, I would do it and then go straight on. Yeah. Like a shot. Yeah. Just to really get yourself pumped up. Yeah, like a shot of hot sauce and then bounce on. Yeah, yeah. Everyone going, I think I've done a shot of hot sauce before this one.

He's absolutely raging. Nothing compared to what Pete Davidson's just done. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers' internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. Main course. Main course. Okay. I want to switch it up a bit. Beef Wellington. Oh, yes. Another rare, a rare appearance of Beef Wellington. I think it is Beef Wellington with potato

mash and tender stem broccoli. Nice. Talk us through why Beef Wellington. Well, I started re-watching Hell's Kitchen on YouTube. I think you're the first person to ever do that. No, hello. You're re-watching Hell's Kitchen. Actually, I'm not me watching it. I'm watching it for the first time, but on YouTube. In clips, yeah. I'm re-watching Hell's Kitchen,

and it's the best bit of television. Yeah. It's just brilliant. The early seasons of Gordon Ramsay in that kitchen. Man, I feel so for the chips. The UK one or the American one? American one's much better. I'm sorry, actually, I think I'm watching Kitchen Nightmares.

Kitchen Nightmares is good as well. Have you seen the one when he went to the Mafia restaurant? I don't think I did see that. Oh, that one's brilliant. Screaming at a mafia member, that your restaurant shit. I was like, he's in the middle of New Jersey and he's gonna do an Italian restaurant. And the guy who runs it is part of the mafia. But he's like, he says he's not, but he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then Gordon's like, your restaurant's shit. And then the guy's like, hey, you want, and he's like, hey, you're talking about my restaurant. And he's just like, oh no, you don't say that to a member of the mafia. I think Ramsey's probably the only person who could get away with it, right? Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. They've invited him to come to come and do their restaurant as a kitchen nightmare. Yeah, yeah.

I would like to see how that continued off camera. Yes. If he kept up that attitude or if he was like, sorry mate, you understand it's just for the cameras. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. What was the problem with the restaurant? Was it like all the pots had like cash in them? And no, he just, the food, no, I think it was just the fact that the food was just not great. Yeah. And also because the food wasn't great, he kept giving away free stuff. So like people would complain like, oh, my chicken's not cooked. And then you'd be like, oh, I have this free bottle of champagne on the house.

Or like, it's on me. So every time someone came up, there's a hair in my pasta. It's on me. Have a free bottle of champagne. He was just giving away free food and drink. I mean, it was probably a front anyway, to be honest. It was probably money laundering operations. Yeah, 100%. That would have been great if Ramsey had uncovered that. away, free food and drink. It was probably a front anyway, to be honest. It was probably money laundering operations.

That would be great if Ramsey had uncovered that. And it was like, I suspect it just became its own documentary about like Ramsey completely rumbling the entire mafia in New Jersey. So this is exciting because we've done our dream menus on this podcast before. And both times I chose beef Wellington as my main course. Yeah. I think I'm the only person who's chosen it until now. Yeah, I think so. So I'm glad that I've got a fellow Wellington head. So you've been re-watching Hell's Kitchen. Yeah.

And it pops up on there. All the time. Yeah. Because it sells out a lot. I was just like, oh, I'm getting obsessed with Beef Wellington. So I'm going to attempt to try and make one for Christmas. Oh, wow. I'm going to start practicing like relatively soon.

How many practice runs do you think you'll do with it before Christmas? I think I'm going to start practicing like relatively soon. How many practice runs do you think you'll do it before Christmas? I think I'm going to need a few. It's not easy. It's quite hard. What are the things that you've got in your head? Like the key things you've got to get right in that? Well, you've got to get the right cut of beef. If you don't do that, then you're fucked, isn't it? And then the pastry, right? And then the pastry. And then the mushroom, what do you call it? The sauce.

That's it. What? The mushroom. The mushroom, which you've got to like grind, but obviously not into a sauce, but like into like the minuscule of pieces that goes over the beef. And then the, what do you call it? The ham. Yeah, yeah.

The prosciutto. Yeah, it's a ham. Yeah, yeah, the prosciutto. Prosciutto and that, yeah. It's a thing. There's a lot going on in there. It's fantastic. You can get it right. If you get it right. Christmas day, you're going to be a hero. Yeah. When you cut through a beef Wellington and it's like perfectly pink inside. Do you know what I mean? If I don't get it right, you can be King of Christmas.

I mean, what are you making it for? Your wife? Yeah, it would be my wife and then my family, my mom and my two brothers. Who are you most worried about the reaction from? Who do you want to impress the most? My mom. Yeah. And will your mom tell you if it's not up to scratch? Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, she won't hold back. So is that the one you want for your dream meal? Do you want it to be the one you're gonna make on Christmas? Or do you want it to be one of Gordon Ramsay's ones?

I want me my one. Your one? My one. That's good, back yourself. But that will be, and I say it now, it will be as good, if not better, than Gordon Ramsay's one. Well, you said it here first. Yeah.

Are you gonna do, you know, sometimes on Beef Wellington, they do the thing where they'll put another pastry like little design on top. Yeah, on top, yeah, I'm gonna do that. Are you gonna do all of that? Do like the lattice, the latticing? Yeah, I'm gonna try to do all of that, all of that stuff. And you want mash and tender stem broccoli? Yeah. Any particular reason? Is that what Gordon always goes with or is this is your? I don't know if that's what he goes with, but I feel like that would be nice to go with the,

with like a red wine gravy or gravy or something. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Something, you know, simple, but not simple, but you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Something, you know, simple, but not simple, but you know what I mean? Yeah, really complicated. Yeah. You know what I learned today is that Ed once ordered a tender stem broccoli from Nando's, and guess what showed up?

Normal broccoli. Normal broccoli? Yeah. Nando's are failing. It's bad, isn't it? What branch was it? I can't remember. I've been all over the place recently.

So I've gotten Nando's in most towns in the UK. But it was a real shock, I mean, honestly. Like I was more shocked opening that than I would have been if I'd opened it up and there was a live rat in it. Like if there was a live rat would have been like, fuck, there's a rat in this box. But you're expecting tender stem

and you get normal broccoli. No, that's a slap in the face. Yeah, I mean, still ate it. Yeah. Still got to get my vitamins in, you know? Yeah, it was still disrespectful though. You asked for a certain type of broccoli and they gave you normal broccoli. No, that's a slap in the face. It blew my mind. Yeah. I mean, still ate it. Yeah. Still got to get my vitamins in, you know? Yeah, it was still disrespectful though. You asked for a certain type of broccoli and they gave you just broccoli.

I'd be worried that I'd switch timelines. Yeah. If that happened, yeah. I'd think, oh fuck it. Somewhere in between me ordering this and it arriving, I'll switch timelines. Yeah. It's just that tiny bit different.

Yeah. Yeah, like everything everywhere all at once. Yeah. Less sort of fun. Yeah. But with broccoli. Yeah. But you probably wouldn't win an different. Yeah. Yeah. Like everything everywhere all at once. Less sort of fun. Yeah. But with broccoli. Yeah. But you probably wouldn't win an Oscar. Yeah. You never know. Yeah. You never know. Anything's possible these days. The film where the broccoli is different. That's what it's called. Yeah. The film where the broccoli is different. That's a great name. So your dream side dish, is it going to be different to those ones? Is it going to be an additional side dish to the ones you've got? Because that can be just your main course.

I think that would be my main course. Like a side salad. So what's in the salad? Egg. Wow. Leading with egg. Wasn't expecting that. No, I'm joking. It's not egg. It's not egg. No?

It's not egg. It's not egg. So it would be like a mango salad. Yeah. Right, so you've got mango, pomegranate, lettuce, red onion with like a olive oil dressing. Nice. So something quite fresh.

Yeah. And fruity and a little bit sweet. Yeah. Because it's quite a rich main course, right? And then you've got that to sort of like balance it a little bit. Exactly. I liked when we started with egg as well, to be honest. Oh yeah. Neither of us thought, no, not in a salad.

But we did think odd place to start. Start in your egg. What else is going in this salad? Where's the best place you've had like a mango salad? Like a really refreshing... The Barbican Bar and Grill. They have a kale salad. It's called a Kiss Me Kale salad. Oh, they've named the salad after the show. This is great. It's a coincidence. I'm plugging right. I'm plugging proper right now, but they've got this amazing salad with like mango and it's just, yeah, it it's great it's so nice. If people did order the kiss me kale salad and kiss the kale.

Yeah and kiss the cake. What is this? As in they get the salad and they kiss the cake. Well they pulled it out of the salad and then kissed it. Yeah or they let down into the bowl and kissed it while it was still in the bowl. While it was still in the bowl. So it's up to them. They can either pick up the bowl with both hands and bring it while it was still in the bowl. While it was still in the bowl. So it's up to them. They can either pick up the bowl with both hands and bring it to their mouth and get off, fully get off with a kale. What, tongue the kale? Yeah.

Or they can pick it out of the bowl and then kiss it. And then tongue it. And then tongue the kale. Yeah. Like would they be allowed to stay in the bar, but can you think or like, what's the policy there? Cause technically that's not their fault. It's called kiss me kale.

Yeah. I feel like you got to express yourself how you want to express yourself. Yeah. I don't think it should be punished for that. So if you want to tongue the kale, I think you absolutely should. Yeah. I think it's the kissing, I think is fine.

I think when you said they get off with it, I think that's maybe the line. Are they like shutting their eyes as well? Yeah. Yeah. And that's the kind of. Are they like shutting their eyes as well? Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and that's, they're kind of maybe mumbling like words that, that, hang on. Words like what? Love. I love you so much. Is that what you do while you're kissing someone, James?

Yeah. I go, oh baby. No, that's cool. I think you only upset people who don't really like, you know, Oh baby. Yeah. Yeah. Oh baby. No, that's cool. I think you only upset people who don't really like, you know, public displays of affection. Yeah. But it's not your business. If you want to tongue the kale, then you can actually, you should go

and tongue the kale man. Yeah. Tell them, tell them, tell them how you feel. So, going back to your salad though. Yeah. So you got the mango, the pomegranate, the red onion, and the lettuce. What part are they of the jolly green giant each?

Like what body part is each of those ingredients of the salad? So the lettuce would be hair. Yeah. Standard. Red onion. Go on. Say what you feel. Say what your heart is telling you. Yeah. Express yourself.

I would say like red onion would be like leg hair. Yeah. Yeah. So the letters would be hair on his heads. Yeah. Red onion would be like leg hair. Yeah. And then the pomegranates would be like, you know, like moles. Yeah. And the mango would be his fingernails. I love that you focused on extremities, which I wasn't expecting. I wasn't expecting to go straight to leg hair. That's yeah. Yeah. That's even more interesting than going straight to egg. Yeah. I like that. I like the thought of the leg hair especially. Yeah. This red onion leg hair. Yeah. So his hair color on his head is thought of the leg hair especially. Yeah. This red onion leg hair. Yeah. So his hair color on his head is different to his leg hair color.

Interesting. Yeah. The curtains don't match the drapes with the Jolly Green Giant. No, he has red onion pubes. Yeah. It's got red onion pubes. Yeah. That sounds delicious.

The Jolly Green Giant is getting more and more tasty. Yeah, he is. As we go through the episode. I mean, it would be tough to give himself a red-on that would sting. Yeah. The eyes. Yeah, it would. Shaving his legs, crying. Yeah, oh yeah. That would be really bad. The Jolly Green Giant, he'd have to run his

wrists under cold water first. That's the secret. Anyone who's worked in kitchens knows what you're meant to do. Is it run your wrists? When you're under cold water, before you chop an onion, then it works. Yeah. It draws all of the stuff that makes you cry, that rises out the onion. It means it goes to your wrists instead. So if you start crying after you've done that, you know that

there's another emotional problem that you've got to deal with. Yeah, or there's a second onion somewhere. Or there's a second onion that's been chopped. Yeah. Somewhere. The secret onion. Your dream drink. Oh, Guinness.

Yes, please. And loves Guinness. I love Guinness. Yeah. Always lovely to welcome another guest to the exclusive list of Guinness Club members. Yeah? Yes. Do you have a certain way that you like, are you a very particular Guinness drinker

who's like, it has to be poured like this, has to sit for this long, you've got to draw this in the foam? Yeah, no, you don't need to draw this in the foam, but you need to pour it properly. Otherwise I do get a bit upset. And what is the proper way to pour it? Well, you just got to, you know, listen, we're getting to take your time. It's a soul treat drink.

You know what I mean? You can't just, it's not one, bam, thank you, ma'am. You know what I'm saying? You've got to take your time when you pour it and then you've got to let it settle. You can't just drink it straight away. This is not, you know, it's just not the Grand Prix. This is not hot sauce before you go on stage. This isn't back, back, go on, is it? It's not a hundred meter race. It's not a hundred meter race. This is a marathon. You

gotta let it settle. You gotta get into the groove, let it get into the groove. And then once you know it's ready, you know it's ready. It's beautiful to watch. It's really nice to see it just see it rise and then transform. Do you remember when you first started having Guinness? I remember the first time I ever had one and I, I was sick. Yeah. Wow. It's amazing that you still like it. Do you know what it was?

My taste buds changed, but I think I was 18 and I was in Manchester. I was doing a play in Manchester and I really wanted to try one. So I ordered one and I remember I took my first sip and I just went, oh, and I ran to the toilet. Hang on, I thought you meant you had like loads of pints of it. So it was the sip. And I never drank it again. I never drank it again until maybe 10 years later. So I had such a bad experience of it. And I was like, no, I can't not. And also there was a point where I was having a conversation with my mate and he was like, you know, taste buds change. And I was like, oh, all right, whatever you say.

And I was like, no, you go, you go, try again, try again. And I got one and I was like, oh, I think I had like way too many. But he was like, oh, this is the best drink ever. Now it's all I drink. I know that and an old fashioned. So you've had to pick a cocktail, it would be an old fashioned. And like a drink would be Guinness. We can bring you the cocktail after the meal, if you like. Oh yeah, so I have a Guinness and then after that Guinness I'll have that old fashioned. Yeah.

I know, cause I know James so well, I know that he'll want to know more about your friend who told you the taste buds change. Yes. What's his name? His name is, his name is Cordell. Cordell. Yeah. And is that the sort of thing he says quite a lot where he'll just like give you a fact and say taste buds change and things like that? No, it was just, it was like, I think

we were, I think he was having olives or something. And I remember, you know, like olives. And I was like, oh, you eat olives. He's like, you know, taste buds change. And I was like, what? The way he tastes things, it changes. And I was like, oh, you eat olives? He's like, you know, taste supposed to change. And I was like, what? The way he tastes things, it changes. And I was like, oh, okay. Does that mean, do you think you're gonna enjoy sparkling water at some point in your life? I'll never enjoy sparkling water because sparkling water is- What did Cordell tell you?

Well, call up Cordell right now. He'll tell you taste supposed to change. Sparkling water is his own thing. But you used to think that about Guinness. It made you sick. No, no, it's different. It's different. See, we're not convincing you of it because we're not Cordell, but I think he can. I followed the Cordell principle. I don't think you'll be able to convince me either. As much as I love him, I don't think you'll be able to convince me either.

Convincing sort of guy. The devil man. Yeah. Is he older he older than you, younger than you? He's older than me. How long have you known him for? Since we were 10. Can you remember when you first met Cordell? Yeah, at school. I think it was one of my first days in school, secondary school, when we met.

And I remember thinking, oh, he's really cool. I know he turned out to be one of like the most popular kids in school. And I was just like in the background. I wasn't very popular back then. And then we became friends like randomly as we got older. I think around year eight or year nine, we started hanging out a bit more. Yeah. And then we just became super close and we also, we're also in a still band together.

Oh really? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. There's three of us, me, Cordell, Vivian. We're all in a steel band together. What's the name of the steel band? Metronome Steel Orchestra. They're based in Labbroke Grove, Westbourne Park. Great. Yeah. So they'll be at Nightingale Carnival this year. So great. Make sure to check them out. I used to live in Labbroke Grove. Oh yeah. And I go to Edinburgh for the festival in August. Yeah. And then often get back, like I've missed the carnival, like by a couple of days. And I got back one year, like the day

after the carnival. And the guy who drove me from the station had to drop me off a long way from my house because there was a lot of debris around. And I was wheeling a massive wheelie suitcase through And I was wheeling a massive wheelie suitcase through the... Cans of red stripe and plastic cups. It was a long journey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm really sorry about that. Mate. Mate.

This is why me and my mates protested every year. Well, I love Cordell, obviously. Yeah, thanks. Love the sound of him. Love the sound of the steel band as well. Yeah. I was in a cafe yesterday and they started playing the, you know, the steel band cover of motherfucking PMP song.

What from? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. From Anatomy of a Fall. They started playing that version. It's not cafe music. In a cafe. And I said, yeah, well, I said to my girlfriend, I said, what the fuck are they doing? And I was sitting next to the window. I was like, turn this off.

Is it the opposite of my girlfriend? The windows open. Love the sound of the Guinness. Can Cordell please be there for you drinking the Guinness, at least like for a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

During the dream meal. Do you, when you have a pint in the Guinness, do you split the G? Do you know this? No, what's that? It's where I think it's relatively recent. I mean, I only hear about it now when people, their first sip, they have to, well, some people say they either get it right down halfway

where the G is, so split the G. Oh, I see, yeah, yeah. Or get it in between the, I think the logo and the writing. I don't see the point, because you have to take a really big first sip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do quite like that. I do take quite a big sip.

My first sip is quite big. Yeah. How big would you say? Like not nearly halfway, but that's a massive first sip. Yeah. I love it. Well, I'm a big sipper as well. He's a big sipper.

You ain't never seen nothing like it. You think like someone's done some sort of magic trick. It looks like he's taking a tiny sip. He doesn't like, you know, really go for it. Like somebody who's showing off, you know? He just like has a little gentleman sip and then he puts it down and you're like, where's your drink gone?

What's happened? Especially with Guinness as well, because there is something about having that massive first sip and you're like, oh, I'm drinking Guinness. Yeah, especially after like a long day as well. I usually have one, I like to have one like right at the end of the week. After eight show eight show a week it's just like, oh I bet. What about a 10 to 1 on a Monday? That also works as well. Yeah, that is good. Let's have one now.

We'll go for a Guinness later. Let's go for a Guinness now. Yeah. But people can guess what your dessert is. We'll go for a Guinness. Get Cordell on the phone. Get him on Facebook. Just text him, taste buds change. He'll know what you mean. Do you like desserts? It's my favourite course.

I'm not a big dessert person, but I do have a big dessert. Let's hear it. It's very simple. It's apple pie and custard. Mmm. Food Glorious Food. I don't think that is apple pie and custard. Is it? No, I don't think it is. Um, hang on. You're in the bits, you're in the stage bits, you're in the theatre bits. I don't know what it is. It's food glorious food, hot sausage and mustard. Yeah. Food Glorious food. Cold jelly and custard. Cold jelly and custard.

I think it's jelly. Have you ever been in a production of Oliver? No, never. Clearly. I thought I should know all the words. I've been in a production of Oliver, but I wasn't one of the kids. So I wasn't one of the workhouse kids. So you don't sing it. Who did you play? Charlotte, the undertaker's daughter. What? I didn't it was a boys school. What was I supposed to do? It was a boys school. I had a blonde ring lit wig. Marcus Mumford was the Artful Dodger. That's wicked. Yeah. Marcus Mumford was the Artful Dodger. Yeah. Asked me who

played all the adult parts. Bill Sykes, Nancy, Fagin. Oh, our teachers. Oh, okay. Yeah. They took those parts. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. I played Charlotte, the underkeepers daughter, underkeepers. Yeah. Undertaker. Is that an actual character in the show? It is now. Was it a created one? Was it created? I don't know. She wasn't in the film. Google that Benito. Google Charlotte, the Undertaker's daughter. Oliver. So I remember one of my lines I had to flirt with Noah who was played by my friend Henry and I said, Oh, no, you are a one like that. Big laugh.

Yeah. And that's when I knew I wanted to be an undertaker's daughter. Oh yeah. Were you in any school musicals? No, none. School plays? None. You didn't do any of that?

No. When did you start acting? I was probably about 16 or 17 when I started. I mean I was in a school talent show. We didn't do plays or anything like that. It was like school talent shows. What was your talent in the school talent show? You're really hoping no one was going to ask that. I was like a dance troupe. So we did like dance numbers.

That's all you're willing to tell us. Yeah, it was like a dance piece. We'll have to know more though because it feels like there's more. Clearly it's an embarrassing song. No, it was like a mega mix of songs that I did in school, which was really fun. Did it twice and it was fun. But what are you not telling us, Havon? We are absolute wolves, mate.

Do you think you're gonna move on from this story? No, do you know what? Because it was such a long time ago. When I think back on it, I was just like, right, I can't believe I did that. Do you know what I mean? I was only like 16, 15 or whatever. But no, no, it was like a mega mix. It was like a mega mix of like all these different songs. And then we did like this choreography and it was, it was back then. Yeah. and then we did like this choreography and it was, it was back then. Yeah.

And it was fun. I don't feel like you've given a satisfactory answer because we like tell us more and you've said, yes, it was back then. Do you know why? It's because I don't dance anymore. So it's just like when I watch it back, cause you can watch it.

We can. We could watch it. No, no, no, I can. All right. It's not on YouTube or anything. No. can watch it. We can. We could watch it. No, no, no. I can. All right. It's not on YouTube or anything. No, no. Sure. Yeah. Sure it's not on YouTube. No, you can't find it. When I watch it back, it's just nice memories. Yeah. Doesn't seem like they're nice memories. It seems like you're really embarrassed by it. No, no, no. I'm not. Maybe I am, but it's just, yeah. It was, it's like when you try to watch, yeah.

I love watching that production of Oliver back. Do you have video? I've got a video of it. My mom's got a video of it. Well, obviously I'm going to have to see that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can't, I can't watch. I can't watch. Do you know what it is? I feel like it's a weird actor thing. I hate watching myself back. Yeah. And I think that's what it is. It's like when I watch it, I'm like, I just can't watch it, if that makes sense. Does that, and that still goes for everything, everything now? Everything I've done, I can't watch back. I mean, I can. That's a shame you're missing out on Black Ops.

It's very good. No, I've seen Black Ops, but it's just weird watching yourself back because he's like, oh, is that why, first of all, is that what I look like? Is that what I sound like? Oh shit, I sound like that and I look like that. Ugh. But I, yeah, I totally understand that. I can't watch myself do comedy really.

And even if I walk past like a highly polished window, I'm like, is that how I walk? The worst posture I've ever seen in my life. That's what I didn't for. I got it. I walked past the window and I was like, oh no. Yeah, but if you tried walking with good posture, you look mad. Like as you walk along naturally, it looks all hunched over. And then I'll actively walk down the street

and try and have good posture. I look like a twat. Yeah. It looks like something's wrong with you. Whenever you see someone walking with really good posture. Just like, what the heck. You don't trust them, isn't it? No. Sparkling water people.

Exactly. Was Cordell in the dance troupe? Yeah. Yeah. Too right. Um, let's get into this apple pie. Is it a particular apple pie? Yeah. Mr. Kiplings. I don't think it was, are first people chosen Kipling before? He's definitely come up now and again. He's come up. Kipling. Yeah. When you imagine Mr. Kipling, what do you imagine he's made of cake like the Jolly Green Giants made of vegetables? He's got an apple core deck.

Just the apple core? No, not Kipling. He'd have to have like a Swiss roll. Yeah, that's true. That's true. It would have to be a mini roll. Yeah. It would have to be something like that. All the chocolate's been eaten off. It was exceedingly good. I always imagine Mr. Kipling as like Colonel Sanders, like cousin or something.

Yeah. Yeah. He's like English cousin. Yeah. Just like not the white hair and the white beard, but like a brunette. So like a brunette Colonel Sanders, a little bit younger, but they're cousins. A little bit younger. Yeah. Yeah. Cousins. Do they keep in touch? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. From like, from like Cornwall or something. And what's their opinion of each other? What does Kipton think of Sandip? I think they get on. I think they get on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they get on. I think they're like, oh, I'm glad you're doing well.

And I was like, you too. I guess there's no competition between them, right? No, because they're different. As much as they're in the same industry, it's different. You know, he's doing fried chicken and he's doing cakes. And like, you know, Sanders is a veteran as well.

Oh yeah, he's been around for a long time. He's like, he's served in wars, he's a Colonel. Yeah, Colonel's on, yeah. So like, you know, Kipling is just a bloke, just Mr. Kipling. Yeah, but Kipling's age, I'd imagine he was maybe in World War II, maybe. Do you think? Well, then I think it would be called something like Captain Kipling's cakes, but it's not,

it's called Mr. Kipling. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's got a title. Yeah. I think he was a conscientious objector. Oh really? Yeah. See, I've just realized that when I imagine Mr. Kipling, I imagine David Attenborough.

Oh yeah. Oh, okay. That's mad, isn't it? Kipling, I imagine David Attenborough. Oh yeah. Oh, okay. That's mad, isn't it? But I do just imagine David Attenborough. Yeah. You say that is what you think of when you think of Kipling. Yeah. Yeah.

I think, I think of more of a, like an over the shoulder shot of like, you know, his hands and stuff on, but I can't, I can't ever see his face. Yeah. I can just see like him maybe like making some cake, or writing a letter actually to Colonel Sanders maybe. But like I can't really picture, every time I try and get round and see his face I can't really see it. I don't know, I can see his face so clearly.

He's standing, he's standing on the edge, like you know those white cliffs in Devon? Yeah, in Devon? It's in Devon, Dover I think, it's Dover. He's standing there and he has like long, like up to his shoulders, so it's quite long brown hair with like a goatee and a cigar. And like a monocle. That's, whoa, ha. I'm really glad you asked the question, how do you imagine Mr. Kipling? Because that was all ready to go. You've thought about that. You knew what he looked like. Yeah.

And it's just like, Oh, what cake should I bake today? Yeah. I was like, that's what the ha is. Yeah. It sounds like another gangster that Jordan Ramsey would have. It was like the cakes were a front for something else. So do you want like the little, the little apple pies you get? Yeah. The little ones. Yeah. The little ones. And you have like maybe like two and then you just warm them up. Yeah.

Some custard on top. Hot custard or cold custard? Hot. Come on. You don't like it if it's cold custard on the hot apple pie. Yeah. I would have, I would have cold custard. I see. That's why I don't think we could be friends. Why? Well, I'll say one thing for you. Taste buds change. No, do you really have cold custard? Yeah, I love cold custard. I like contrasting temperatures. So if I had a hot apple pie, cold custard. If I had cold apple pie, hot custard. Hot apple pie, ice cream, yes. You see it?

Yeah, I see it, yeah. Yeah, so that's why that's when I stand on the cliffs of Dover and I think about when I go, when I think about what dessert I want. Yeah, I'm always having cold custard. Wow. Why is he on the cliffs of dough? It's quite a beautiful image. Welcome to England type thing. Yeah. It's a very dramatic image. Yeah. Maybe he's waiting for a loss of love to return or something. Yeah. So that apple pie recipe. Aunt Bessy. Aunt Bessy. Aunt Bessy. Yeah. I reckon I did a thing back in the day. Yeah. About eight things went through my head to say about Aunt Bessy there and I just left them all. Yeah. Yeah. Well done. Thanks. I guess.

I mean not ideal for the podcast. He'd cut it anyway. Thank you so much for not saying it. He'd cut it anyway. Yeah, he'd cut it anyway. Yeah. Cut it anyway. We'll be lucky if that green giant dig stuff sees the light. I'm going to get back to you now. So you feel about it. Um, you want still water. Very, very clear about that. You would like warm white sourdough bread with salted butter. You want chili salted corn rims as your starter beef Wellington with potato mash, tender stem broccoli and red wine gravy, side dish of mango salad, drink Guinness poured properly, taste must change and for dessert you would like Mr Kipling's apple pies, two apple pies and hot custard

then afterwards we'll send you over an old fashioned. Oh yes. That's ideal. It does sound nice. And you're going to be sat on a sofa as well and getting all of that on a tray. All of that on a tray. Yeah. I think the overriding image for me

is gonna be Mr. Kipling because now, every time I hear about Mr. Kipling, I'm gonna think of what you think about when you think about Mr. Kipling. So he's not Attenborough anymore. He's a man with long hair and a goat. He stood on white clothes with Dover going home. Yeah.

And the way you described it, I just pictured Bill Oddie as well when you said it, when you said like, like Bill Oddie back in like the, you know, funky given days. So like that's what I was imagining when you were describing him like that. So now I'm imagining like Bill Oddie, but with a monocle and a cigar and a three piece suit on the wake of the Dover. That thinking about his cakes. Thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant Hamad. Thanks for having me. Thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant, Hamid. Thanks for having me, man.

Thank you, Hamid. Well, there we are, James. Lovely to chat to Hamid. What a lovely man. What a lovely conversation we learnt so much, so many characters along the way. Yeah. And a very nice meal as well. Very nice meal. Always love to hear Corn Ribs come back up on the podcast. I mean, also, you know, as a Beef Wellington boy myself. Oh, of course.

I actually kind of regret now Hamid's gone. I should have told him about my Beef Wellington. I love so much the Amsterdam one. I really do regret not saying that. Well, the info is out there. If he wants to go digging through the episode archive, I'm sure he can find out about Ron Gastro Bar. Hamid, we know you don't like to watch your performances back, but if you're listening to this, please listen to episode 100 or 200 of the Off Menu podcast and you'll hear me talk about that beef Wellington. I believe it got received better when I told Claudia about it. Yeah, Ryland wasn't interested, was he?

No, Ryland only was happy with my starter, which was the cheeseburger spring, but I was everything else he thought was absolutely revolting. Don't forget that Hamad is in Kiss Me Kate at the Barbican at the moment. It's on until the 14th of September. So be quick, get your tickets from kissmecakemusical.com. And of course, Hamad did not say Tamarind. Good. Because I wouldn't have wanted to kick someone out for something that I actually like.

No, also he was much taller than us. Much taller, but not me on your shoulders. That's true. Well, just about. I mean we were doing the photo, we did the photo after the episode and I was crouching down because I normally just, yeah, I normally pop a little squat next to the guest to be like more on, you know, I'd say probably on average, the guests are shorter than us. Yeah. On average. Absolutely. Did it with Hamad. I felt like a little bit of a titch man. I felt like a tiddler. Well enjoy it. Yeah. Thanks man.

Would you ever crouch next to the jolly green giant? No way man. I wouldn't go near that old thing. I bet it is disgusting actually. He's old, he's been around for a long time. We're going to do some food shout outs as well. Thanks to the beers we've been sent from Sirencraft. I like Sirencraft, always have. Cheers for the beers.

Cheers for the beers Sirencraft. And your suckers because I like it anyway. And of course full circle. Beer Brew Co. Beer Brew Co. Cheers for the beers. They're in the fridge ready for the Christmas party. And we've got some sauces sent to us. Firstly from Jim Carna, still one of my favourite restaurants in London. If I could get a bloody booking I would go. Yeah, can't believe we got sent the sauces though. What a treat. I love Jim

Carna. Two Michelin stars now. That place got... Congratulations Jim Carna, well deserved. Well deserved, but it makes it bloody hard to get a booking. So if you send us a source, why don't you just let me, why don't you tell me when I can book in? Well, they sent you a little note with the sources, so you can book in. Just book me in or something. I'm not worried about, ooh, isn't it fancy, gets bookings at restaurants that are all booked up. I like that. I like to feel special. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Come on. Jim Carter. Thank you. And also thank you to kebab club who sent some sources as well. They send us some Turkish garlic sauce and Turkish chili sauce proper like the stuff you want in the house. some Turkish chili sauce, proper like the stuff you want in the house. Yumma yumma yumma. I love Turkish chili sauce and Turkish garlic sauce.

Yeah. When I order Turkish food like comes in tiny little pots and you're like guys come on. Do you not know who I am? I'm Ed Gamble. I'm Ed Gamble. You should send me some sauce. Thank you very much for listening to Off Menu. We will see you again next time. Yum yum yum. Yumma. listening to Off Menu, we will see you again next time. Yum, yum, yum. Yum. Yum.

Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum.

Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum.

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