Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 260: Rachel Stevens

Episode Date: August 28, 2024

There ain’t no party like an Off Menu party. S Club’s Rachel Stevens joins us in the Dream Restaurant this week, and we finally find out what the S stands for.Rachel Stevens is working with Activia to promote good gut health. For more info visit rachelstevens.comRachel’s autobiography ‘Finding My Voice’ is out now. Buy it here.Follow Rachel Stevens on Instagram and Twitter @msrachelstevensRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Off Menu podcast taking the duck liver parfait of humor spreading it onto the brioche toast of friendship. And oh, that's nice. Quackadoodle do. Of course. Why didn't I say Quackadoodle do? That's what everyone would say. That's it. My name is James A. Cassidy. Together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a guest and we ask them their favorite ever start a main course dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week, I guess it is Rachel Stevens. Rachel Stevens, of course, from S Club. From S Club. A successful solo career. Yeah.

She's an icon, James. Yeah, I mean, obviously, we grew up watching the S Club TV show, watching them perform their songs all over the television. Back in our day when there wasn't no internet. Who's this guy? An old man. An old man watching TV. Um, so I make him Northern and well, I mean,

actually people probably listen to that and go, don't think that was Northern James. You can't do an accent, but there you go. Rachel, you might think, Oh, what, what's Rachel got to do with food? Well, she's, she's working with Activia at the moment, James. Well, yes. Nice to hear it. Promoting good gut health. She's promoting good gut health. Will that come up? Rarely does on this podcast. I'd say this podcast, if anything, promotes bad gut health. Yeah, this is slightly balanced in the scales, but not really. Yeah, yeah. But you know, maybe we need Rachel in here to tell us how to make our tummies feel nice. Yes. So hopefully, hopefully we'll learn about that. But however, maybe we won't even get that far. if Rachel says a secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will kick Rachel out of the Dream Restaurant as is the rules. And this week, the secret ingredient is party rings. Es club party. I can't believe we got that at the same time. That's amazing. That was quite good wasn't it? Yeah. Party rings, es club party. Like an es club party. So therefore we have gone for party food and the epitome of party

food is party rings. Party rings of course, because there's a party in the name. Hopefully she doesn't say that James, because I'm looking forward to talking to her. I mean surely if you're promoting good gut health, party rings aren't on the menu. Surely they're low down. menu of Rachel Stevens. Welcome Rachel to the dream restaurant. Oh, thank you for having me. Welcome Rachel Stevens to the dream restaurant. Please come for some time. Oh, this is exciting. Are you excited to be in the dream restaurant? I'm really, I'm so excited. What are you cooking me? Well, you're cooking me what you're making me. This is all up to you, Rachel. It's your dream, you know, so we'll cook you whatever you like. Maybe we should do that in the future. We decide what the guests have.

And you make it. We tell them. And then hopefully you don't poison us. Yes. Do you think that would be a good podcast though to get guests in and tell them what they're eating? Would we need the guests there? Well, we should try it once at least and go, okay, starter, you've got this. Yeah. Now you just talk about how you feel about that. We're designing a whole new podcast as well. I love this for us.

This is great. It's called it on menu. Yes. And then we just do it. We flip it. I love it. We've got to keep this going. Amazing.

We've got to keep reinventing ourselves. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Like if we look, also we're talking to Rachel Stephenson. Yeah. You've managed to like keep yourself relevant, keep going for years. We need advice from you of how we're going to keep having a long career as well. Oh God. Good question. Yeah. Can you teach me some comedy? No, we are not many people find us funny. We can't teach you that Rachel, but

can you teach us how to stay relevant? Yeah, how to keep packing out those venues. Yeah, it's great being back out with S Club again. It's been so great after all that. I mean, 25 years was when we all started. So to be back out there again has just been absolutely incredible. What's the fan base like now? Because obviously you had like a younger fan base when it all started. Have they all grown up and come with you and then brought along like... It was so lovely actually. Before the shows we'd do meet and greets and obviously all the kids who were like five and six and now grown up with their own kids and would share stories with us of how, you know, we were their childhood and what we'd got them through. And like it was really, really special actually. It was lovely. And they're bringing their kids as well.

Bringing their kids, a whole new generation of S Club fans. Yeah. What was the most fun show to go on when you were starting out as S Club? Cause now, you know, they're, they're with you around these podcasts. We apologize. Probably not as fun as live and kicking and stuff, but what was, when you'd look forward to the most when S Club was starting out? I mean, the Saturday morning TV was so fun. SMTV, CDUK. I mean, it was such an exciting

moment in time. All the big party, like party in the park, all those big massive like shows in the park, all the road shows. We were just always on, always go. It's so different now. Yeah. With everything being on social media, we didn't have all of that back then. So we were literally, if we were going on a radio tour, we would go to every place we would, you know, so we were all over the place. You couldn't get rid of us for a while. I enjoyed a TV show. You didn't. So that's like nowadays, if you were literally on social media, trending every day, if you

had a TV show back then, that's absolutely huge. Whereas now there's so many TV shows. Yeah. Now Now if a band was told you got a TV show, they'd be like, oh, we're dead. That's it, our careers over. No one's going to watch that. But that's how it started. Yeah. You were on that as well. Yeah. Did you do sketch? When you went on SM TV, did you ever do the sketches? Cause I imagine you would have more skills in that department, your TV show. Yeah, we did all the, what was it called? The French, you're probably too young. Chums. We're not too young. That's absolutely our sweet spot.

Oh yeah, cool. How old would you have been then? Secondary school. I remember like, I mean, that's when I wrote the Cat Dealy poem. The Cat Dealy poem. Yeah, yeah. I sent it in, but they didn't read it out. Of course she wasn't. She's gorgeous. I was a red-blooded teen. Not made of stone. Yeah. She was gorgeous. Wasn't she? She is gorgeous. Yeah. Do you remember the poem, James? Yes. Oh, share, share with the group. Rachel Stephens is asking you to share the poem. No, no, no, no, no. Now I know you've refused to do it in the past. Share a line, just one line. Just give us a little taster. Yeah, that's

great. A little taster. Well, I'll tell you what, there's a food line. So that's relevant to the podcast. I want the most embarrassing line. Yeah. It's always embarrassing. I was eating my bowl full of pasta. Looking at you, my heart would beat faster. That's not embarrassing. That's really sweet. What is it? Eat my bowl of pasta? And while eating my bowl full of pasta. Looking at you my heart would beat faster. They didn't read it out. I was pretty sure they'd read it out. No, they probably put you on a watch list. Yeah. It's probably not off that list. Love that. Would you like that if someone wrote you a poem that said when they were eating pasta, they, their heart beat faster. I would love that so much. I would really love that. I was just thinking it wouldn't work if, cause you're from up North, right? If you were saying faster.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pasta. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah could work. That's what I would have said, yeah. Yeah, I'll never do more than one line an episode anytime SMTV gets brought up. Right. Well, I'll bring up SMTV every single episode. Yes, you'll finally get the full poem. But it's not, I'm not giving you it in order. So it's like, it's like Mr. Chips. Did she ever hear this poem? It didn't get to her.

I don't know. I mean, I hope so. I hope someone read it to her. I think you need to send it to her now. If you saw it. Do it again. Yeah. I think that's weird. And maybe. Should I send it to her now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Probably would be as an adult. Did you say weird? Yeah. Yes. I'm wonderful. That's why you wanted him to do it, right? Yeah. I have to get her on this. You think she'd be very flattered. Yeah. Then I'll recite the whole thing. Well, if that's a guarantee. Oh, of course it's a guarantee. If we get Kat Daley on the podcast, I'll recite the whole poem, but like, listen, I'm not here to think about Kat Daley, but Rachel Stevens is one of us. Before we were going to start recording this, Rachel, I was going to ask you a question,

Benito made me save it for the podcast. So I'll do this. I asked you about Sweet Dreams, my LAX, your solo song. I've had this bit of trivia in my head about it for years, ever since it came out, to the point where I don't even know if it's true. Was it written by the same person who wrote toxic by Britney Spears? Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Katha Dennis. There you go. Save it for the pod. Yeah, well, I told you it was boring. But that's what I've always had in my head. Yeah. But that feels like information that you could have found out for sure.

And can't get you out of my head. Wow. Yeah. She had a good weekend. You couldn't get it out of your head. And she wrote, can't get me out of your head. That is incredible. Yeah.

It's incredible. And you can get Kat Deedee out of your head. No, never will be able to. I don't want to, do you remember the first time you met the other members of S Club? What you thought of them all individually? I met Hannah in the toilets at Pineapple Studios. Pineapple Studios? Yeah. So four of the band were already together. So they held auditions for S Club. I didn't know about the audition process. I wasn't going for auditions at the time or

anything like that. I was working in fashion at the time. Um, just started working, left college and, and I, my brother was working at Sony records in the, the, um, canteen and he used to go in for a free lunch every day. I was just sitting in there, minding my own business and got approached by these two producers who asked me if I could sing. I was like, yes, sign me up. Having no idea whether I really could sing properly I was like, yes, sign me up. Having no idea whether I really could sing properly. And then I love you. Got to say yes though. Just in case. Just say yes and then learn how to sing in the gap. Yeah. Exactly. Is exactly what I did. And then, yeah. And then S-Couples being put together and then I met Simon Fuller and then literally two weeks

later I got a call from him saying, putting this band together, would you like to be in it? Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. It's amazing how quickly these things happen. When there are only four of them, were they called S club four or did they call you S club seven before they'd got the other three? Good question. Very good question. Um, it was always going to be S club. Yeah. Um, was originally going to be five and then Joe and Brad joined later and then we became S Club 7. My mum used to call you Sclub, that was a funny joke. Sclub, really? Yeah, Sclub.

Yeah, surely. Surely you've heard that before. Surely people called you Sclubbers. Sclubbers. Well, we call ourselves all different names, but yeah, Sclub, I love that. Yeah, that was my mum's funny joke, Sclub. That's a funny joke, Fangamble. Oh, was she an S Club fan? Oh yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, because also like, it was very much like a capital breakfast show era. So, you know, in the car on the way to school, all of that sort of stuff.

And, you know, always capital on in the kitchen. Yeah. Sclub was big news. Sclub was big news, love that. Sang Never Had A Dream Come True in the gang show. Oh my God, I forgot about that. In the what? In the gang show.

What's the gang show? It's a variety performance put on by the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts to be fair and the Ketrin one at McKinley theatre, which isn't there anymore. Right. There's a bunch of houses there now. Yeah, we've seen various songs and one year. Who's we? All the Scouts. Oh, okay. No, we didn't meet any of the Scouts. We didn't meet in the Scouts. No. But when James was in the Scouts. But who sang LAX? No, we didn't sing LAX.

Oh, you didn't? Oh, that was too raunchy. Right. Yeah. We sang Never Had A Dream Come True. That sounds, that's a nice song. Oh, that's a bit more, yeah, yeah, yeah. You couldn't do LAX.

We weren't getting up at 11 years old. No, God. Sweet dreams, my LAX. Are you kidding me? So true, I know. Even back then, that wouldn't have been right. That would just be a no go. Even though I'm sure you get some see some money off it, but you don't want the scout singing sweet dreams. My L.A.X. No, you can't buy it from a boy scout from

Kevin. You don't have an L.A.X. You don't have an L.A.X. No, fair enough. Absolutely no way. They are only singing about the airport. Yeah. Yeah. We would like to go to that airport one day. One day it'd be nice to go to that airport. It wouldn't be like I went out with someone in LA and now they... And you're 11. We always start with still a sparkling water for your dream meal. Do you have a preference? It would have to be still. Yeah. Cannot do sparkling. Sparkling to me tastes like soluble like paracetamol. Oh, that's good. I know what you mean, but I think I quite like the taste of soluble

paracetamol. Do you? Yeah. You like the medicine? I like medicine. You like medicine? Yeah, because it's making you better. You can't argue that logic, Rachel.

You can't, but you honestly like the taste of it, honestly. I don't mind. I see what you mean like the with the fizzy water and sometimes that soluble paracetamol almost makes water taste milky. Do you know what I mean? It's sort of a little bit gross. If there was some medicine that you had to just eat recreationally, just like you don't need it to get better, but you've got to eat it. Funny enough, when I was younger, I used to hit the cow po up. Yeah, yeah. Even if I didn't have a headache in case I got one, I would hit the cow pole. Yeah. Always thinking ahead. Yeah. You might just cause it was the letter. So most of us, we just wanted to go like that. It was so

tasty. It was, it was, wasn't it? Yeah. And it's addictive. I think. Yeah. I mean, as a parent, that cow pole is epic. How will is epic. Yeah. As a parent now, always, always got it on the go. Yeah. My God. Is it still as good? I don't taste it anymore. Oh, you mean the flavor? You must be tempted. Right? Do you know what? I'm not. I'm not. I'm over it. I've moved on from there. I'll have a little shot of cow pole. I want to see if it tastes as good as you remember. Yeah. Next time you will. Now we said that that'll be in your head. Do you not want to admit it on this podcast? Are you worried there'd be like a controversy? If you admit it, you have some now. I've been

stung by that in the past. I don't want to bring it up, but like remember that. That was great. Well, it wasn't it. I was, I was the right age as well. I'd come up with S Club and then when that happened, I was like, they're still cool. Spliff Club 7. Walking past the cop car. Absolute legend. Yeah. Absolute legends blazing up outside of the rosters. Right. So blatant. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think Calpol would have the same impact. Us girls were just minding our own business, you know, working hard and they were just, you know. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. They get a telling off. Well done guys. So you would like still water? Still water with ice. How much ice we talking? I've got this funny thing that if I have a cold drink, it has to be freezing cold or if I have a hot drink, it has to be boiling hot. There's no in between. I can't do a, yeah. Yeah, I get that. Do you get that?

I've started, I like, um, ask because I've only just recently discovered that I love more than life itself, coffee. Um, and, I do think with coffee though, it's something that you can grow. It's a grower, isn't it? He really, he's grown. He's in a real quiet. He loves it. Every time he has a sip, he says, isn't it? He's in a real quiet. He loves it. Every time he has a sip, he says, I love coffee. You're like adulting now.

Just say how much I love it all the time. Yeah, yeah. I really do. I'd write it a poem. But do you find that with every coffee that you enjoy it, because some coffees are really good and some coffees are really bad, I find. Yeah, but this is part of the joy of loving coffee,

is that suddenly I can tell those two apart. I never used to be able to. It was all just like a mess. I didn't know what was good, what wasn't. Yeah. And now I do tell those two apart. I never used to be able to. It was all just like a mess. I didn't know what was good, what wasn't. And now I do know what's good. You've got an acquired taste for it. So much joy in it and pleasure. I just know where to go and find the good coffees.

But now I know that I like it extra hot. I never used to really know. So if you had it, you couldn't have like a, just a mid. I could, I prefer lukewarm coffee. So with, when I make a coffee, it's too hot for me. So I need to leave it for like 10 just a mid. I could, I prefer lukewarm coffee. So with when I make coffee, it's too hot for me. So I need to leave it for like 10, 15 minutes and then I'll neck it because it's functional. I just want to get a buzz off it really. Right. Oh, so it's not for the taste. No, not really. I'm not that bothered about good, quite often good

coffee. I find you go to a good coffee place. There's not enough of it and it tastes weird. It's too light. Not enough of it. Not strong enough. Not strong enough. Or or they just go like this, just like half a cup or something. And then like, this is the best coffee ever. I don't really care. I just want to feel like, I get that. Yeah. I want to feel like my brain's about to pop up my head. That's what I like. Yeah. I know what you mean about it. Not being enough sometimes, but it always tastes delicious and when it's really good coffee, it's really nice. You love coffee. I love coffee. How do you have your coffee? Well, I'll have like a You know, I'll go for a flat white or a latte. I'll have it extra hot

I've started saying that now because I saw Cindy V saying it. Yes, I love it. Yes High five, best club high five And uh, yeah, I went for coffee with Cindy V. Cindy V asked for extra hot. I really respected it So I've copied Cindy and I'll start saying extra hot now. Who's a comedian. She's got a lot of natural authority. And I find it funny that James thought it was cool that she went extra hot, please. So he's copied her. Yeah. Yeah. So you'd think I was cool too then if we went for coffee together. Yeah. I already think you're cool. I grew up thinking you were cool. You're the OG cool. Yeah. The definition of cool. Not as cool as the boys because they smoke the doobah outside the coffee cup. But you're still

called. Coffee makes your heart beat faster as well. Coffee makes my heart beat faster. Imagine if I was drinking a coffee and pasta looking at Kat Daley. Smoking a doobie. Yeah. Well that would slow me down. That's true. The doob would put the brakes on. The balance. That's what I'd recommend the doobie, you know, when you're watching cat doobie with a bowl of pasta and a coffee. Cat doobie. Pobadabs or bread? Pobadabs or bread?

Rachel Stevens. Oh, that's a really tough question. Because if I'm having an Indian, then it's gotta be Pobadab, right? Yeah, of course. And that's an obvious thing to say, but we'll go bread. Bread. Yeah. I mean hot, buttery, salty, delicious bread. What type? You can get bad bread. Bread. Yeah. I mean hot, buttery, salty, delicious bread. You can get bad bread.

You can't. Now it's different to coffee this. So if I'm not eating bad bread and going, oh, that's fine. It's just bread. Like I do with coffee. You can get bad bread. What's the worst bread you've ever had? I try and be really healthy, but you can't be healthy when you want a piece of bread. You just got to go. Go. Yeah. I'm having bread with loads of butter. So I think when I get a bit confused when I'm trying to be healthy, no, just don't do that.

You just got to go for it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I do love a sourdough. Yeah. Toasted with just dripping it with like proper, proper salted butter with a bit of salt on it. Nice salted butter with the extra salt.

Yeah. Just like cup just for the flakes. You need the flakes for the crunch. Yeah. Yeah. That's proper good stuff. I see. Yeah.

I mean, maybe by the end of this podcast, I'm worried that we'll have, you know, converted you to just being unhealthy. Cause you'll be talking about all this food. It's not that it's unhealthy. Is it? Like I think everything, I love food. I'm such a foodie. So I think everything in moderation and food brings so much joy, doesn't it? But

yeah, I think when it comes to bread, I'm always trying to find the healthier alternative. Something you can eat regularly as well. Like one of those really like posh breads. Like the seed breads and all of that. Yeah, but they just taste like cardboard. They're not good. So I've kind of given up on that. Yeah. If I start on nice bread, that's it. I'm eating the whole thing. Yeah. But I love breakfast. Breakfast is like my, I could eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, dinner. I love it. Yeah. Right. Well, we're going to have to rank the cereals then.

Yeah. Let's hear your favorite cereals. Well, the thing is I'm quite, I was quite dull. It's not like any sort of exciting, well, raisin brown is probably my favorite. Oh my goodness. You can't get that dull. It's not like any sort of exciting sit. Well, raisin brown is probably my favorite. Oh my goodness. It's only in America, right? No one's expecting raisin brown, Rachel. Really? Yeah. Cause when I think cereal, I think fun. That's what I mean. I'm very, no, no, no. I'm very minimalist with my cereal. Raisin Brown, Rachel. What the hell? Listen, I'm not apologizing for it. I'm sorry. I'm not apologizing for it. Sorry. No, you shouldn't.

I love a Weetabix. Oh my goodness. Oh, I love a Weetabix. It's my hometown. Grew up next to the Weetabix factory. Yeah. Yeah. I've been there. I've been in the factory. Had a guiding tour. How was that? It's great. Talked to a bloke who showed me all the Bix at different stages and made me eat it all as well. Not very nice until it's finished properly. But like, you know, inforpenny. What do you have on your

Weetabix? I'm just a classic girl. I'm sorry. Milk. Not even raisins? No, not on Weetabix. No, just milk. What are you talking? Skimmed, semi-skimmed? Whole? Whole. What. That is a twist. I was expecting skimmed because of the razor-thin wheat and the baked healthy bread. No, no, no, no. Whole milk. Yeah. Freezing cold. Of course. Yeah, of course.

Freezing cold or burning hot. Yeah. Yeah. And how firm do you like your Bix? Do you let it soak up the milk? Proper or is it like... Not too much. Just a bit of both.

Yeah, yeah. Bit of give to it. Bit much, just a bit of both. Yeah, yeah. A bit of give to it. Bit of crunch and a bit of sogginess. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm with you there. What's your favorites? If I'm eating cereal, do I really eat cereal, but I'd go for a fun one. I'm going cocoa pops.

Would you go all sugar? I'm going cocoa pops. Oh yeah. You can't be. I'm so with you on the cocoa pops. Raisin bran came out your mouth first. Yeah, but don't pretend now. You can't be. I'm so we say that. Raisin Brown came out your mouth first. Yeah, but don't pretend now. You said raisin.

Because I'm annoyingly trying to be healthy. Right. It goes back to that. Again, this guy bringing up cocoa pops morning, lunch and dinner. Trust me. Right. Well, you said raisin Brown's. Unfortunately, that's how did you feel when Jim Jim when Cocoa Pops

changes name to choco Krispies? Do you remember that? That's just wrong. Yeah. Well, that's what that's what the UK public. They not called Cocoa Pops anymore its name to Choco Crispies, remember that? That's just wrong. Yeah, well, that's what the UK public said. Are they not called Coco Pops anymore? They are now. They reversed the decision because of the protest.

We overturned it as a nation. Thank God. Yeah. Which, you know, people should remember. We don't like change, do we? In Britain, we don't like change. But we can overturn big decisions and maybe it's for the best for the country. Yeah.

I've got Weetabix at home. I'm eating Weet the best for the country. Yeah. I've got we have big time. I'm eating, eating, we have big at the minute when I do have cereals in tends to be the boring ones. Cornflakes may be the most exciting when I have is. You had a go at me for raisin bran. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're good. I can't be your favorite, but I would say, I don't know if I'm going to actually have like a favorite face. I don't know what I like. And I always forget that I like them. I don't know if I'm gonna actually have like a Favorite face. I don't know what I like and I always forget that I like them I don't even know what they're called now the Quakers that the pillows Joe I'm talking about the Quaker shredded wheat bite-size No quite quite could bring out these like these pillowy cereals with the chocolate and the Quaker man doesn't know no chocolate in actually

It's um, it's really nice. You don't see no. No, no. They're just like, here we go. They're called, no, Oat Crisps. No, they're not called Oat Crisps. They're not the Oat Crisps. You really thought you had it then? Also, there's a version of it, Trader Joe's in America and it's really good. I can't wait to go to Trader Joe's. It's the best.

Yeah, man. It's Trader Joe's actually the LAX that you're thinking about. Joe. Maybe Oat Crisps original. That's quite left field. Yeah. Well, because I forget how good they are. We haven't talked about granola and yogurt. that you're singing about. Joe. Maybe Oak Crisp Original. That's quite left field. Yeah. Well, cause like I forget how good they are.

We haven't talked about granola and yogurt. Yeah. My girlfriend is like addicted to, like loves it so much. Really? And I can have like one mouthful and then I've got to stop. I just feel like it's bonkers, isn't it? What filling? It's filling and it feels, it does feel like I'm starting the day with a mad pudding.

Yeah. Do you think? Even though I like puddings a lot, but like it's, it feels like it does feel like I'm starting the day with a mad pudding. Yeah. Do you think? Even though I like puddings a lot, but like it's, it feels like I've just like, you know, smashed a load of biscuits into some. You're not eating the right granola. I feel you're eating smashed up biscuits. Yeah. I wish that'd be good.

We got some good granola. I don't want to boast with some pretty good granola that we get from around the corner. Yeah. I won't blow up my spot and say what it's called. Don't give away your secrets. So you like granola and yogurt? Yeah. I love a granola parfait in LA used to have, oh my God, layers of yogurt, granola, fruit, like two or three layers. Yeah. Just the perfect combo. Wow. Yeah. Like a breakfast lasagna. Yes. Yes. I've never thought about it like that. I've seen people that haven't put breakfast lasagna on menus, like genuinely like

lasagna for breakfast. But once I go down that path, I'm having lasagna every morning. I'm getting up at six in the morning to have a lasagna. Yeah. Yeah. You don't think you'd enjoy that? No. No. I definitely don't. Cold? I don't know. It's weird as I've gotten older. I don't, I'm a real breakfast girl. I can't miss a meal, but I can't eat as early anymore. Like back in the day, I would eat early, but now I can't. I don't know how I live. What time you having breakfast now?

Like a brunch type time, like 11 ish. Okay. But you still doing granola at 11? Yeah. That's all right. I love it straight away. Wake up straight into the kitchen. Yeah.

Breakfast. That's what I mean. I used to be that way. Yeah. Yeah. With your lasagna. Yeah. With my full lasagna.

Food always tastes better the next day, doesn't it? As well. If you have like dinner. I completely agree. Curries as well. Yeah. It's like it's marinating in the fridge. What about pizza the next day? How are you heating up pizza the next day? I don't know. I don't like reheating stuff. Yeah. Do you just have it cold?

Mm. I have it cold. I'm doing that a lot now with takeaways. Cold curry. I love it. Yeah. I think you get a lot more. I feel like we're bonding so much over food right now. The hot and the cold and the, you know, love this. This is how we want the guests to feel.

Do you know what? It's lovely to hear it. Your dream starter. Is this going to be a breakfast cereal? My dream starter. Yeah. Do you know what? See, I got very overwhelmed when I had to think about all that because my brain goes to so many different places. We do like to hear that though. Right. So, favorite starter, burrata. Yeah. With balsamic glaze, with fresh tomatoes, a bit of a basil. Delicious. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a classic burrata is just the king. And also your pronunciation of it is that lends itself more to a poem. Start a burrata. Yeah. I was in a restaurant the other night and my wife said, I don't know if I, for my starter, I want the burrata or the tartar. Oh, we nearly stood up and gave a full round of applause. I said, that makes my heart beat farther. Such poets. I know right? His wife is Lil' Kim. Yeah. Pretty cool. Yeah. It's pretty cool. Pretty cool relationship. Yeah. Burrata is the absolute king of the starter cheeses. Yeah. It goes very well with tomato. No, we're not happy with that. I was trying to think of something to rhyme it with. There was nothing. Yeah. A lato. Yeah. Yeah. Cheers. Yeah. Cause your

wife did tartar. She's done that. Covered that starter and then I've thrown in tomato. I think we've pretty much run out now. Yeah. sound delicious. It is delicious. I mean, anytime I see burrata on a menu, I've got to get it. White and fluffy. I love introducing people to burrata as well. Sometimes people, yeah, because some of those people are like, oh, we've got to get that. And they're like, I don't even know what that is. Still to this day, people, you know, people are still learning and you get to be like, oh, it's like mozzarella

but leveled up. The king of mozzarella. Yeah. I love seeing someone have a burrata for the first time. Yeah. I really, you know, you see their life get a little bit better. Yeah. Do you prefer it when it arrives, like it's a whole burrata?

Because sometimes you go and they give you like, they've done the cutting up. No, don't do that. You want the joy of the... You want to feel the whole experience of it. Yeah. And you cut into it. Totally. Explodes. But you don't want it too watery either.

Some of them can be a little bit too watery. You want it to be really creamy. Squishy. Feels like you're doing it. That doesn't sound like. Squishy doesn't sound nice. No, you've not made it sound nice. No, squishy sounds too wet.

Sorry, no. As I was saying that, I was like, you know, but I had to just go with it. Is that what S in S club stands for? Squish? Squish club seven. Do you know how many times you got asked that question? Yes. Oh my God. That was like, yeah. Top question. What does the S stand for? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, not the question. Does it stand for squish club seven? Yeah. I've never had that one to this day. Squish Club 7. And it's good you love Borat. Some days. Yeah. What does it stand for?

You're like, can I ask that yet? I don't know. It is actually the S is the 19th letter in the alphabet. Simon Fuller, who our management company was called 19. Oh wow. That's true. It's the, he must've known, dude is going to get asked that forever when he did that. And that's this really cryptic reason as well. And our line was always, it's whatever you want it to be. Oh, that's nice.

That's good. And it's evolved over the years. Yeah. To squish club. Yeah. Because now, whenever we do interviews now, they always go like, you do the off menu podcast. You have people that dream meals. We were wondering what would your dream meal be? And for one, you're like, well, obviously I get asked that

every single time. So I don't know why you asked me that. Like you're the first one. Also that's an hour long podcast. So you're asking me to quickly do that for you now in an interview. It's a big conversation. It's not just a flip and answer. You had trouble deciding on Barata, right? Cause there was so many different options. I've been toying all night. I've been like, Oh my God, you know, it's overwhelming. I'm going to start saying it's whatever you want it to be. Whenever they ask me what would your dream meal be? I going to start saying it's whatever you want it to be now. Whenever they ask me what would your dream meal be? I'm going to say it's whatever you want it to be. It can be a good answer for lots of questions, you know.

Every question. Every question. Whatever you want it to be. Press junket for anything. Apart from, I'm just going to say when we ask you your dream main course, please don't say whatever you want it to be. Oh, I wrote that again. Yes, please.

I'll let you just on that one. Do you think other members of Eskild would choose the burrata for the starter? I love how that rhymes now. I will ask them. I don't know. Yeah, actually, do you know what? I think Joe would. Yeah.

Because back in LA days, we were always like going out for like, we would have dinner together and that would be, we would share the love of that starter together. Yeah. What was your thing in the rundown of what you all are? Someone was looking for romance. Who was looking for romance? John? Yep. I remember John was looking for romance. Yeah. What was your one? Tina's doing her dance. Tina's doing her dance, which is why John was looking for romance. I'd imagine. Yeah. He had to be. This is, this is a faster pasta situation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pools getting down on the floor. Getting down on the floor.

Yes. Hannah's screaming out for more. Yeah. That is very, that's very right. I know. Yeah. Want to see Bradley swing? Yeah.

You want to see Rachel do her thing? And that's whatever you want it to be. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Are they still the lyrics when you perform it now or would you change it up to like more reflect your life now?

Yeah. So like Rachel is eating raisin bread. Doesn't rhyme. Yeah. I thought I could buy whatever the line is before it. Rachel gives cow-paw to her kids, but doesn't drink herself. Yeah. We don't do it now. We didn't do it in the tour. Yeah, but doesn't drink herself.

We don't do it now. We didn't do it in the tour. Yeah. We didn't do it. It'd be fun if you just like on your own in between songs, sang Rachel's doing her thing on your own. And everyone's like, well, we got to do that one, right? I just want to let them know that I'm doing my thing. Should I just bust that on the tour? Yeah, yeah, please. I'm going to do that.

Yeah, do that. The crowds would lose their mind. I'm going to say James the Eddard told me to do that. The crowds would lose their mind. If suddenly out of nowhere, you just went Rachel's doing her thing. The crowds would pop. Yeah. Yeah. Go down. Well, I think I told the others. I'm doing it. I mean, is John still looking for romance? Aren't we all, you know, yeah. It's nice nice having a bit of romance in your life. It is nice having a little... That didn't rhyme. Yeah, I'm just trying to make it rhyme. I think that when John does find romance, you should do a... He should do a solo song about that.

That's just like, I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it. I found it, I found it. Yeah. Brilliant. Your dream main course, Rachel. My dream main course would be lobster. Oh, lovely. And chips. Ooh. And on the side, oh, we haven't got sides yet. Well, we can do them both at the same time if you want.

Cause if you feel like you need to talk about them at the same time. Yeah. Well, now I feel like you need to talk about them at the same time. Yeah. Well now I've bigged up. It's not that exciting. Broccoli, but charred with chilli, garlic. Nice, like tender stem broccoli. The long boys.

Yeah. Yeah, or the long boys definitely. Yeah. Oh god, that's really sexist by the way. What? Long boys. Yeah, long boys. Long girls. Vegetables. Long vegetables. Okay. That's really sexist by the way. What? Long boys? Yeah, long boys.

Long girls. Vegetables. Long vegetables. Okay. If Ed had said to you then the long girls, I'd have been like, we need to get Ed off this podcast. Okay, very well. I'd have talked to Benito afterwards.

I'd have a little emergency meeting. I don't think Ed should be saying that. Referring to broccoli as long boys, I don't think many people would bat an eyelid. You're right to pull me up on it though. But I think if I'd said long girls, that would have been worse. Worse. You can't win. No, I can't think many people would bat an eyelid. You're right to pull me up on it though. But I think if I'd said long girls, that would have been worse. Worse. You can't win. No, I can't win here. Well, it's not about you winning Ed.

I'll just say broccoli, the long broccoli. The long broccoli. Yeah, the long broccoli. Or vegetable balls. Vegetable balls. John's looking for vegetable balls. It's a bit of a mouthful that one. Yeah.

I'm like, I'm not against it. Do you remember the first time you had tender stone broccoli? John's looking for a vegetable. It's a mouthful. Yeah. I'm not against it. Do you remember the first time you had tender stone broccoli and did you just look at old stumpy broccoli and think we're done? I'm never eating you again. I don't, you know, I think there's room for the old broccoli, the other broccoli too.

There's room for all broccoli, I feel if it's cooked in the right way. Yeah. You know, but the long vegetables, they char so much easier. The long boys. The long boys or long girls. You see what you want to say. They char really easily, don't they? That's true.

Old stumpy broccoli is not charring. It's not charring as well. No. Can you char a massive broccoli? I'm not good at charring, really. No? I wish I was a better cook. I'm not a great cook, but I have just got the air fryer

and that is a whole world of brilliance. Do you air fry broccoli? Yeah, it's great. And it comes out all like charry. Oh, nice. What else are you doing in the air fryer? Charry, is that a word? Charry, charred, charred, charred. What else? I stick everything in there. Go on.

I stick everything in there. Go on. That bad boy. What else? Spinach, all the veg. I stick in there. Saus boy. What else? Spinach. All the veg. Stick in there. Sausages are really good. Meatballs. That's kind of as far as it's got. Just piling it all in there. Yeah. Not the same.

Do you have an air fryer? Don't have an air fryer. Not yet. Can't spare the real estate in the kitchen. Yeah, that's right. They're big. They're very big. But I have to tell you, if you're going to get anything, get an air fryer. If you're going to get anything, get an air fryer. In the kitchen. Appliances. Sorry, I should have narrowed it down. Yeah, sure. Sorry. It was out of context. I remember

people are going to take the podcast very seriously. In the world of kitchen appliances, you must get an air fryer. It's just epic honestly. How big are they then? Are they massive? Well you can get small ones. You know, you get like the ones, the big, I've got just a small one like that. But it's still like, you're noticing it on the counter, right? You are.

Yeah. You're having to work around it. But it gets used. You know, those appliances that just sit there and don't just sit there. Yeah. That's the machine. That sort of stuff. Exactly. Pasta machine be faster machine. Am I making my homemade pasta? Remembering Kat Dealy, my heart would beat faster. She's never coming on this podcast now, man. If she hears about this, Rachel said she's going to text her after this. Great. You tell her I've got a poem to read it on the podcast. Don't give a contest. Rachel said she's going to text her after this. Great, text her. You tell her I've got a poem to read her. Come on the podcast. Don't give a

context of who I am. I think she's going to be desperate to come on it now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She'd love to come on and say to her also, if you're going to get anything, get an air fry. Say that to her as well. I will. I will. Out of context. Well, I mean, that's exciting that you're air frying everything as well. Would you air fry a lobster? Oh, would you? I don't know if I'd cook. I wouldn't be brave enough to cook a lobster, I don't think. Boil it. Oh, because that's the thing. People boil them alive.

No. You can't air fry a lobster alive, can you? You can't just chuck it in a live lobster into the air fryer. The most humane way of killing a lobster is to put it in the air fryer and then just turn it up slowly. Oh my God, that's dark. That's bad stuff. Imagine that. That poor lobster. There's a little screen of it. Oh my God. That's dark. That's bad stuff. Imagine that. That poor lobster. There's a little screen of it. Oh my God. Nice to have a roomy tank. Thanks for hooking

me up in here, Rachel. No, but seriously though, that would be our New Year's Eve dinner. That would have, what would have been cooked, but I wouldn't have cooked it, but it would go straight in and I would have to go out the room because it was just, it's a lot in the lobster, but so delicious. So delicious. So delicious. Is that how you like it cooked? Like the like steamed boiled sort of one? Cause they sometimes like a burger and lobster. They do the grilled one as well. Right? I like it steamed and then lightly grilled. Nice. Yeah. Bit of char. Bit of char. I spoke about my favorite, one of my favorite YouTube channels on here, where the man got the lobster.

Yes. What's that? Fair enough. There's a man who went to a grocery store in America and bought a lobster and instead kept it as a pet. It's quite a moving channel, quite nice. He became friends with, like he felt... Well, he just properly learns how to look after it and keep a grocery

store lobster as a pet and has to help it get the strength back in its claws and feeds it the proper food. That's really sweet. And then part of me is like, that's really weird. Yeah. It's quite weird to do. Yeah. But I guess it's heartwarming.

Yeah. It's weird because it's unusual. Maybe it's weird that we get them alive and we boil them. Right. You air fry them. It's hot warming. Yeah, it's hot. It's weird because it's unusual. Maybe it's weird that we get them alive and we boil them. Right. You air fry them. It's all weird. I don't air fry them. You put them in the air fryer with spinach and meatballs. The listener couldn't see it, but you nodded to us when you were going, when I said you air fry them. You were saying out your mouth, no, never. And you were nodding going, I do that every day. Oh, I can't win with this one. Come on. But yeah, it's a nice, I recommend watching it. It's really nice. Him in this lobster octopus teacher. Have you seen that a bit like that?

But not octopus teacher man. He's all like going in the water, hanging out with octopus, fully getting involved being his mate. And then when, when a bigger shark or whatever comes along to kick the shit out the octopus, then he says, well, Amber's rules, I've got to step back and not be involved. You've been involved the whole time, man. Defend it. And a bad friend. And I think that he should be ashamed of himself, that octopus teacher. Or the student, I guess, because he's the octopus of the teacher. So, human student should be ashamed of himself for how he treats octopus to the end.

For not getting in there with the shark and like just... He fully got involved with it and interfered being its friend. And then he said, no, it's a documentary. I've got to step back and let nature take its course when it, when shit got real. Also I think if I was as a kid that emotionally attached to one of my teachers, I think people would have got involved. You shouldn't be out of that relationship with your teachers, right? He's an adult though. He's a mature student. Yeah, but that's still not, there's still something moral wrong there.

Yeah, it's still a line. Even if I went to a class now and I got emotionally involved with the teachers, there's still a power imbalance. There's a line there. Yeah, there's a cross the line. Yeah, yeah. So maybe that was it. The octopus deserved it. Is that what you're saying? Yes.

Thank God I didn't say octopus was my favorite meal. Yeah, try getting that in an air fryer. You could actually because they can climb into little jars, can't they? So it could probably climb in itself. Octopus is delicious though. Yeah, oh God, yes. Another great charred food. Oh my God, yes. What if it was the octopus from my octopus tincture? What if they gave you that? Okay, you're taking this to a whole new level

now. I'm just saying what if they told you, why if you're like, I love octopus delicious? And they said, we made it for you. Just so you know, before you eat it, it is the one from my octopus teacher. I would be all right. You'd eat it. I'd be all right. You know, because he'd been, you know, it's nature had been killed. Too late by them. Yeah. yeah, yeah. Because the shark killed it. Yeah, exactly. And it is delicious. Your dream drink? Oh, see another one that's really hard to answer. I went in so many different directions. Depends. If it's breakfast, a cup of tea. No, not breakfast, a cup of tea. That is one of my favourite drinks ever. You really are obsessed with breakfast. I love that.

I'm obsessed with tea. Oh my God. A proper builder's brew. Do you want to take him from a builder? Do you want it to be a builder's cup of tea? You know what I mean? I can't do like a posh tea. It's got to be a proper Yorkshire gold.

The builder's made it for himself. I would take that. I would take that. I don't feel bad about it at all. Steal it off the builder's made it for himself. I would take that. I would take that and not feel bad about it at all. If I'm having like Asian food, a lychee martini, diet coke, if I'm having like a burger, a freezing cold glass of ice water if you're really, really thirsty and a glass of wine. I love a glass of wine if I'm having a steak or that kind of meal or any meal actually apart from breakfast. Apart from breakfast. Then it would be a that kind of meal. Yeah. Or any meal actually, apart from breakfast.

Apart from breakfast. Then it would be a good glass of wine. But you said you'd have breakfast for dinner. So that's okay. Yeah. If you have breakfast for dinner, you can have a glass of wine. Wine and cereal. Proper builders wine. What cereal would red wine go? What, what the most like, which cereal? If you had to have red wine with a cereal. I don't really drink red wine. Oh, so this is white wine you were talking about. White wine would go better with, better with to have red wine with a cereal. Oh, I don't really drink red wine. Oh, so this is white wine you were talking about. White wine would go better with cereal than red wine. Definitely.

Yes, yes. It would pair better. Already it's easier. Yeah. I think wine with any cereal would just be wrong on so many. I don't know, dessert wine, a nice dessert wine with a bowl of like honey nut Cheerios. Can you do dessert wine?

Yeah. I find it too sweet. I love it. Do sweet. I love it. Do you? I love it. If you go for a meal where there's like wine pairing and stuff, do you like enjoy that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went for a meal together on New Year's Eve and did all the wine pairings and stuff.

I didn't. I made a huge mistake. We went to a restaurant called Long Clume in the Lake District, which is absolutely amazing restaurant. It's fantastic. And James has just reminded me, he didn't do the wine pairing. I did the wine pairing and James got a different cocktail with every single course. I was hammered Rachel. I was doing my thing. I was looking for my own art.

Were you getting down on the floor? Yeah, I was doing all of them. I was screaming out for more. Were you screaming out for more? I was doing all of it. I would hope so with a cocktail every week. It was too much. Swinging all over the place. Yeah, I was showing them how. I like, yeah, I had a lot of cocktails and also anytime they had a wine that they were particularly like, oh, this wine's amazing. I'll go, I'll get in on that.

I love a glass of that. You dip in and out. Yeah. Mid cocktail. Felt great for the whole meal, but as soon as we got home, I was like, oh, I'm done. I'm blasted. I'm going to bed. Yeah. Yeah. How did you feel the next day? Were you? Actually not as bad as I thought I was going to feel. I think because we had so much food

as well. So I was kind of, I kind of escaped it a bit. I didn't feel fresh as a daisy, but I could have felt worse. I've had worse many years days. He just turned into a dad. Like we sat around after we'd had the meal and we just on the sofa, we were just hanging out and people were on their phones. He was like, get off your phones. It's New Year's. It's New Year's, we're gonna have a conversation. Get off your phones.

Yeah, brilliant. You don't like your phones? What's happening? Let's ring John Robbins. I was doing that. I love that. Let's ring John Robbins. Like our friend John Robbins,

he was like, don't ring John. Yeah, don't ring John. It's like one in the morning. We're gonna ring him. So you didn't ring him? No, he wouldn't have appreciated that. No, he was so happy. Yeah, we have done wine pairings in the past. I thought this time, I thought Joe, what you always get sick of wine really early in the wine pairing. Don't do it this time. Let's just have a cocktail. And then I just went nuts. But then you dipped in with the really like good ones from the sommelier.

The dessert wine for example, they had a dessert wine that was like a liquid marmalade, it was amazing. But maybe that would be too sweet for you. Oh, I want to go to this restaurant. It's fantastic. Long plume. You should go. No, I've been to the Lake District. Beautiful part of the world.

Love to, yeah. Sweet dreams my LDX. So you got a lot of like shout outs for drinks that are your favorites, but you have one in particular that's going to be your dream meal? My dream meal drink? I'd go a glass of wine. Yeah. Any particular wine that you're a big fan of?

I'm not great with knowing wine. I know what I like taste wise, but I'm not, I don't really know about wines. But definitely white. I know this is really bad for people who are like wine snobs, but I like a glass of ice in my wine. Yeah. I know, I know, I glass of ice in my wine. I know, I know, I know. But I do, I like it really cold. It has to be really cold. But not enough for it to sort of get water, just a little bit of ice. Just a little cube. Yeah. But yeah, just a nice well

rounded glass of white wine. I like a rose in the summer as well. Yeah, I do love my wine. And it's something that I've got, as I've gotten older, I've just like more and more. Yeah. I really enjoy wine and I've learned now to not just keep drinking wine. I can have a glass of wine and be like, that was lovely. Yeah. And now I can stop. Definitely. This guy can't with cocktails. Yeah. No, but it is different. Yeah. Cause wine hangovers are the worst. The worst, especially if it's bad wines. Yeah. Like pub wines. Yeah. Yeah. And I can taste it immediately. Now I was at a thing the other night, I had a glass of red wine there. One sip. I'm like, it's going to be a bad day tomorrow. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm instantly getting straight away. Yeah. Headache juice. Yeah. Really bad. But you know, I've noticed organic wine and biodynamic wine, no headache the next day.

And I don't know if it's a placebo effect, but I definitely think that it's cleaner and there's not as much of the crap in there and the sulfites or whatever they stick in it. Yeah. It definitely does make a difference. So now I do try and drink more organic wine. I've noticed that with that, but then I thought let's really experiment. I had like two bottles of it and you do still get a hangover. Yeah. Really?

After two bottles. Yeah. If you neck it, it's still bad. Good to know. Yeah. I think I would be, I mean I'm only small, I don't know what would happen to me if I had two bottles of wine. I'm lightweight when it comes to alcohol. Rachel was surprised by how tall we were, James. Yes, I know. How tall are you? I'm six one. Six one. Yeah, I'm about six one. Okay. I'm five foot. That's why I feel like you're really tall. That's smaller. Smaller than us. Yeah. But he does only five foot. That's why I thought you don't really do. That's smaller than us. Yeah. But he does only five foot. I used to say five foot. Yeah, he is. He wears lifts. He wears lifts. Yeah, so do I. They're good, aren't they? He loves theme parks. He loves theme parks, Rachel. Really?

Why do you stand on theme parks? I love a theme park. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a bit of a wuss though, on the, I like fast, but I don't like tunnels and I don't like upside down. So I asked lots of questions before I go on there. I love a fast roller coaster. There's a TV show in getting you to do like things that are out of your comfort, like Rachel Stevens goes out of her comfort zone. It feels like, yeah, going through tunnels on a roller coaster, having sugar cereal, having two bottles of wine. Like, there's so much in it. I think I'd be in hospital if I had two bottles of wine. Do you reckon? Yeah, I reckon. But yeah, that is a really good idea, but also really scary, not fun for me,

but a very good idea. Yeah, yeah. I think. Face my fears. Yeah, yeah. I don't think two bottles of wine counts. I don't think you'd get away with that on TV these days. An episode where Rachel Stevens drinks two bottles of wine. You name one person who's not watching that. No, I'm talking about who's going to make that. I mean, everyone would. You. Yeah, okay, we'll make it. We'll make it.

Yeah, we'll make it. Probably online. Independent production. Online. We make it and then we take it to channels and then they'll write our hand off. So our first episode is Rachel Stevens drinks two bottles of wine. We've got so much out of this. We've got a new podcast.

We've got a TV show. We're poets. We're poets now. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's just so much. You've agreed that you're going to say Rachel's doing her thing on stage? Yeah. Oh my God.

Yes. In between every song. Let's not forget that. In between every song. That's a good... Do you not think that's a bit much? That's really funny. I think it'll start to feel a bit much after three or four, but then after five or six, it'll start to pick up steam again. Oh my God, Rachel. If in between every single song, he turns to the audience just you went

Rachel's doing her thing every single time. It would be brilliant. Who would be most annoyed that you kept doing that? Who would get angry first? angry first? John. John. Well, he's, he's trying to show off. He's looking for romance, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to look for romance. Stop saying you're doing your thing. I'm going to think about that now. Every time I'm on stage, I'm going to be doing, when we're doing Esquad party, I'm going to be like, is it time? Is it time now? Ed saw a metal band once who in between every song dedicated each song to people who talk shit behind your back. Yeah.

Every single time. I saw a band who every single song they played, they dedicated it to people who talk shit behind your back. But using those words, this is where those people are talking shit behind your back. They didn't go to the song. Every song. And the songs were less than a minute long as well. We arrive at your dream dessert. Now this is interesting because you seem like a very disciplined, sensible person and that does not spell out dessert to me. There you go. Well,

hold on. Let's see. Rachel says she loves cereal. Can I have two? Yeah. I can have two. Okay. Straight away? Two? Yeah. Is that all right? Oh yeah. Of course it's okay. Yeah. So, apple crumble. Yeah. Boiling hot custard. Of course. Yeah. Boiling hot. Yeah, yeah.

Got me. Or a sticky toffee pudding with freezing cold vanilla ice cream. Classics. Classics for one. You want them far away from each other. You don't want them affecting each other temperature wise. No. Do you want to eat them one after the other or at the same time? I wasn't going to have them at the same time, but... You want them far away from each other. You don't want them affecting each other temperature wise. No. Do you want to eat them one after the other or at the same time? I wasn't going to have them at the same time, but...

You don't have to. If you want them one after the other, fine, but then I'm going to have to know what order you want them in. I would dip in and out. I would dip in and out of each one. I like sharing food. Are you good sharers? Yeah. No. You are. You're not. No. There has to be enough. I have to see that there's definitely enough for me to have as much as I want.

And then other people are going to join in. If it arrives and it's quite small. And I know we're going to, I don't know. I don't know if I'm, cause when something arrives that you've got to share, people want to act like they're chill about it. Yeah. And they're like, oh yeah, let's share. And they were just like chatting and taking a bit.

If something arrives, if there's four of us at a table and something arrives, I immediately, I get the knife and I'm cutting it up into four exact pieces and taking my, taking my bit. Everyone knows where they're at. Everyone knows where they're at. The boundaries are strong and there's no, there's no awkward moment of that last little bit. There is the awkward moment at the start when one of us gets a knife and says, right, I've divided it into four, that's awkward. Everyone knows where they're at. You've got to draw the boundaries early on. You have, yeah. I love that. I just think if in the end it's not enough, there's such

joy in ordering another one. It's very laid back and chilled. It's just great. Cause you go, well, if I don't have enough of this and we all feel like that was great, but we wanted more, it feels really good to go, let's get another. Yeah. But then when the new one comes, you just, I worry about that. Then I've got to divide that up because what if the person who didn't get enough the first time, then you've got to make sure they get enough. Right? So isn't it easier just, you could order one each. I think that that's, that's the way to go. So we've discovered you're not a sharer. No, I mean, I can, but I just need to, I need the rules. I'll say

them share, but he's stressed. Yeah. Yeah. I feel, yeah, I hear, I hear that. Yeah. So if you're eating with other people at this dream meal, you want a big apple crumble. I hope I'm eating with other people. That's very sad. I sometimes like going out my own for lunch. Not for dinner though. Oh really? Yeah. I have done it and I actually really, it's nice too, but I just think of dinner as a lovely social, in fact, food in general going out. It's one of my favorite things in life is to go out for a meal. It's like the best thing. But yeah, I just feel like dinner's more of a company social. It's lunch is a bit more because you can do a bit of work and you're going somewhere else after. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas

I think what we're saying is it's sadder to be lonely at night than during the day. Yes. Interesting. Yeah. That's what I was saying. Because I have people seeing you in the restaurant as well, being like, what's up with them? I saw an old man in the pub the other day and I felt sad. Yeah. And I should, you know, he was probably... Well, they're pathetic, aren't they?

He was really cute and I love old people. And he was like, he was, yeah, and I felt really sad, but he's probably really happy that he's having a night, you know, but I was just just like I wanted to talk to him. He would have hated that. I know he'd be like who is this? I think by the time you're an old man if you're alone in the pub you're loving it. You are. You're in heaven. You're in absolute heaven. I felt sad for him. What kind of a pub was it like proper old pub? Yeah. Yeah he would have absolutely loved that. I hope so. Just staring at his pint. Yeah I hope so. He had a spietti bolognese. Yeah. He would have absolutely loved that. Just staring at his pint. Yeah. I hope so. He had a spaghetti bolognese. Brilliant. That's quite sad actually. Yeah. That's actually

quite sad. I thought he was just at the bar drinking. No, he was eating. Yeah. It's somehow in my head is less tragic than having the spaghetti bolognese. I don't know why that's sadder. I so know where you're going with that. But I bet he was really looking forward to that spaghetti bolognese. I bet he was at home all day being like, oh I can't wait for that spaghetti bolognese at the pub. He was doing that, he was going like that. He couldn't wait. I hope so. I hope so. Because I felt sad for him. Doing his thing. He was doing his thing. Old man's doing his thing. Eating his bowl for the pasta.

It's hard. Well, I hope it didn't go too fast. I know. What's been the weirdest time when someone's known who you are and you're like, you can't believe that they know they recognize you. We went to, this isn't weird at all, but it was just, it was, it's like when people come up to me and say, Oh my God, you were my childhood. And it's like, Oh my God, I'm like old now. And we went to a school yesterday to working with a charity and we went to a school to learn CPR, which was really, really cool. And all the teachers were really excited because they were like, you were our childhood and the kids were just like, yeah, whatevs.

Learning CPR? No, no, no, no, never need that. You've got to do the pumps in time to S Club party. That's how it... Apparently Don't Stop Moving is the perfect timing to do... 117 BPMs. Is that S Club one? What?

It Don't Stop Moving? Yeah. Man, you've got so many hits, man. You knew that being a proper S Club fan. Yeah, come on. You know, you knew that. I know that song Inside Out and there's a load of songs that I know are definitely S Club. That one disconnected in my mind.

But when you discover a band's got even more bangers than you thought. Respect. And that one saves lives. That one saves lives as well. Yeah. It'd be weird for you then if you had to give someone a CPR and you've got to be singing your own song. I mean, if anything, they're getting the best treatment. She said, these are BPM. I'm all right. Yeah. I mean, I think, I don't think I should sing it while I'm doing it because I think that would be inappropriate. Also you shouldn't like have the rest of the guys there to take over when it's their bit. Well, like that back backing dancing. Yeah. In between every compression you're just going Rachel's doing her thing. In between each one. It was really cool to learn that though. Really, really great life skill to have.

If I was in a band, I would probably, yeah, find out like, what's that BPM and write a song specifically for that. For CPR. So that I'd be the next one. Because obviously it used to be Staying Alive by Bee Gees, I think. But now you've overtaken that, you've pushed them out. No, it's not. It's you guys now. Bee Gees got to accept that. And you got to own it. That's cool. But someone, if I was in a band, I'd be thinking I've got to knock Eskob off the top. That would be between a hundred and a hundred and twenty BPMs. Yeah. Have they specifically picked songs with titles that relate to stopping someone dying though?

Yeah. You have to call it something like that. Yeah. Don't stop moving. Yeah. Yes. You have to name it something that is, you know, I just call this on CPR. Yeah. Or pasta. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the P was down for pasta and CPR. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now we're thinking what's the other dance? Well, Cat revival. Cat's pasta romance. Yeah. Cat's pasta romance. We are so creative. The creativeness that's going on here. Oh my God. The creative juices flowing here today. I'm a region menu back to you now. So you feel about it, right? You

would like still water with ice, extra cold, pop on some bread. You want sourdough toasted dripping with butter, salted butter with some salt on top of it. Start a burrata with balsamic glaze, fresh tomatoes and basil, main course lobster and chips, air fried, side dish, charred tender stem broccoli with chilli and garlic. Long boys. Long boys or girls. Or just vegetables. Drink a glass of well-rounded white wine with a cube of ice in it. Dessert apple crumble with boiling hot vanilla custard and a sticky toffee pudding with freezing cold vanilla ice cream not too close to each other. And the mind that you did earlier that we didn't really convey to the listeners is

was you were like, you had a spoon in each hand. Yeah. And you were eating them kind of at the same time. Like, I hate to come back to it, an octopus. Brilliant. Yes. That's why I'd like an I hate to come back to it, an octopus. Brilliant, yes. That's why I'd like an octopus to teach me. How do we eat multiple desserts at once? I feel seen. It's the only thing I'd want an octopus to teach me.

Thank you so much, Rachel. Thank you. It's been really fun, thank you. There we are, lovely to speak to Rachel James. Lovely menu. Yes, lovely menu. Didn Rachel James. Lovely menu. Yes, lovely menu. Didn't say party rings.

Didn't say party rings. I think we gave her some good ideas for the S Club tour. And I think we all know who we are booking as soon as possible. It's Kat Deeley. Yeah, listen, I'm a man of my word. You're a man of your word. And I will tell you, I have worked with Kat Deeley before. She is absolutely fantastic fun. And she does like food because I have worked with Kat Dili before. She is absolutely fantastic fun.

And she does like food because I work with her on Great British Menu. So I think she'll be a great guest. But the difficulty for me, if we're talking to Kat Dili is how quickly I bring up the poem. I imagine it'll be straight away. I think your big challenge is to not bring it up before we start recording.

No, no, no, no, no, no, I'd save it, man. I'd probably have to go in a different room and just come in for the recording, but I'd save it. But my worry is if you read the poem to Kat Deeley, Kielty is going to be on your tail. Maybe I'll write a poem for Kielty now. So that I could... Good luck fucking rhyming that. If he's coming for me, I can read him a poem and calm him down. No way you're rhyming Kielty with anything. I mean, I guess fealty is a word, isn't it? But also I'd love to see Patrick Kielty again, because, you know, the last time I saw him was with my dad when we bumped into him in Edinburgh and introduced him to my dad. And

my dad said, Mr. Kielty, it's an honour. Yes. And shook his hand. It's one of my favourite stories. I never knew that my dad admired the work of Patrick Kilty until then. We've got so much to speak to Deeley about, man. So we bring up Mr. Kilty, it's an honour, surely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, thank you so much to Rachel for coming in. Thank you, Rachel. Lovely chat. So nice to meet a pop icon.

We will be back next week with another episode of the Off Menu Podcast. Of the Off Menu Podcast.