Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 262: Joe Locke

Episode Date: September 11, 2024

‘Heartstopper’ star Joe Locke has a booking this week. We didn’t actually have any tables available, but then Lisa Fox got in touch and we found room.P.S. Under no circumstances is anyone being sent a signed chopping board. This is a joke by two professional comedians for comedic effect.Joe Locke stars in 'Agatha All Along' which is available on Disney+ on 18 September in the US and 19 September in the UK. Watch it here.Series 3 of ‘Heartstopper’ is on Netflix on 3 October. Watch it here.Follow Joe on Instagram @joelocke03Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the batter of conversation, pouring it into the waffle iron of the internet, removing it when it's cooked and adding the maple syrup of humour. We're having waffles for breakfast. That's Ed Gamble. My name is James A. Cashter together. We own a dream restaurant. Waffly versatile. Waffly versatile. Is there a little popping sound at the end? Together we own a dream restaurant.

And every single week we invite the guests and ask them their favorite ever start and main course. Drink, dessert. Side dish. Side dish, not in that order. And this week our guest is Joe Locke. Joe Locke is a fantastic actor, famous of course for Heartstopper, a hugely successful popular Netflix show.

Massive. Based on some really lovely graphic novels actually, by Alice Osmond. I met Alice at the GBM banquet. She was lovely and dealt with a lot of people coming up to her and they saw her doing one sort of bespoke drawing for some and then she had to do about 90 of them and unfortunately the last thing I had to do was go and get her to do one for my tour manager Paul Brown. Well, because he's a huge fan. Did you draw Paul Brown? No, quite easy to draw Paul Brown. Yeah, tell Paul if he wants me to draw him, I can do it for him.

Lovely looking boy. Yes. Gorgeous. A gorgeous boy. Paul, if you're listening, keep doing you buddy. But we're not here to talk about Paul Brown. We're here to talk about Joe Locke. Not only as Heartstopper season three coming to Netflix on the 3rd of October. Joe has also bagged himself a part in Agatha All Along, which is very exciting, which is launching in the UK on Disney Plus on September the 19th. It is of course the spin-off Marvel Disney series from WandaVision following Katherine Hahn's character and there's a big reveal at the end of WandaVision. Yes. Well, we won't spoil it for people. No, it was Agatha Rollalong. Yeah, yeah. That's a really cool song about it.

So you probably saw it on the internet. But I'm very excited to watch it. It's the most excited I've been about a Marvel show in a long time, I think. Yes, it's very exciting. But listen, if Joe says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will have to kick him out of the dream restaurant

and lock the door behind him. Oh, I love it. Thank you very much. This week, the secret ingredient is spring onions. Spring onions might come up. You never know. Yes. It's because his character in Heartstopper is Charlie Spring.

Yeah, that's why. And look, we did a little bit of a check. In the past, a secret ingredient was spring onion beard, as in the little bit that comes off of the bottom of the spring, horrible little beard. But we've not done this full spring onions before. So this is a new one. We actually like spring onions

just because it's carrot is called Charlie Spring. I don't really have them in the house anymore because if you don't use them straight away, the green bit goes all floppy. Yeah, it all turns into one big beard. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Horrible. ZZ Top. They all turn into ZZ Top mate. Exactly. No one wants that. Apart from in ZZ Top, of course, there was one

member without a beard. His name was Frank Beard. It's really good stuff. Yeah. It's like that's one of those facts that everyone knows like tomatoes are a fruit, but everyone enjoys hearing it. Yes, exactly. Maybe it was Frank. It was something beard. Look at his surname is beard and he's the one who doesn't have a beard. That's the important bit. Frank beard. Frank beard. Frank beard doesn't have a beard. Yeah. Tomatoes are a fruit. Yeah. And we hope that Joe Lock is a very open guest. Because he's not locked. I hope he's not locked down. I hope he's quite open and chatty. This is the off menu menu of Joe Locke. Welcome Joe to the dream restaurant. Oh, it's good to be here. Welcome Joe Locke to the

dream restaurant for this menu for some time. I've been waiting outside for quite a while. Apologies actually. That's on us. Is that something that you would do for a restaurant? Would you queue to get a table? No. Normally it would just DM them and then they'd give me a table. Yes. Someone using the celebrity status. You have to. Sometimes it doesn't work,

but it works quite a lot. I respect this honesty. Oh, I also have, this is a, I have a fake email that I use as my assistant Which is actually me on a different email and I use that to get like restaurant things because I've realized that if you are pretending To be official. Yeah, there's more of a chance that people would take you seriously Yeah, if it feels like you've got a nice Lisa Fox I wanted a name that was slightly maybe porn star but like still could be a real name

And she got me she got me a free holiday but like still could be a real name. Yeah. And she got me, she got me a free holiday. So that was, that was a great one. Great assistant. Yeah. Lisa Fox is great. You don't have to pay her anything. No, I know. It's great. How does Lisa Fox is like email manner differ from your own? It's, she says the things that I couldn't say like, Oh Joe was unable to do that. Unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we need, he'll only do one Instagram story or like really harsh and I'll come in like, Oh, thanks so much. Lisa. Does Lisa ever, does Lisa ever say anything about you? Like, Oh, Joe can be a bit temperamental or maybe I should start doing that. That's more authentic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've all the moji and stuff like that. Really hard week with Joe. Sorry. Joe's not getting back

in contact at the moment. Yeah. Are you worried now though, that people might hear this and be like, well, we know who Lisa Fox is, we're not responding to that. You don't have to change it up. I'll just change her name. Just think of another slightly porno name. It's not Lisa Fox with three X's, is it?

No, but it should be. As you change it to, I mean, that's not the same person. Yeah. Last time it was one of us. Well, I mean, look, what we're very excited about is, well, there's a number of things actually, but Agatha all along, we're all excited about that.

Lisa Fox has got you a great job. Has Lisa Fox been working hard with this? She's been using that to get me some restaurants. Did she like email Kevin Feige? You know what? She didn't, but she maybe should feature. I think her and Feige should talk. Oh, Feige's assistant or is it Feige pretending to be someone? Yeah, definitely. Maybe. I feel like

Feige probably does have an assistant. I know he has an assistant. He does. Yeah. Have you met them? I have. Is it Feige, but with his cap off, so you can't recognize him? I have actually seen Feige without his cap. That's one of my big things in life. I've seen him without his cap on. Why did he take it off? I don't know. I think maybe because we were at dinner. Respect. You know, it's got to be respectful. Yeah. He's got a really nice head. Has he? Yeah. Why does he hide it all the time? I don't know. It's a power play. Clearly. He takes the cap off for, you know, his most valued cast members. I would hope so. Yeah. So he goes, this is the real me. Did he, did he stare at you really intensely and say, this is the real me Joe? He didn't, he didn't know. I'm gonna be really careful because I really would like him to give me more jobs.

Yes, because he listens to anything. Oh yeah. He's like no spoilers. You might be in trouble now just for revealing that he's got a head. Maybe. I probably will be. Yeah, everyone will know. Feel the Marvel brain. Like he's got a top of the head.

Yeah. I mean, speaking of spoilers, what can you even tell us about Agatha all along? Nothing. I can tell you, I can tell you it's about a show about witches and my character, I can't tell you anything about that. He's mysterious and that he has a big mystery that holds a lot of the keys to the show, which is great. That's good.

Yeah. And that's sort of it. We go on this long road and fight things to get power. Yeah. Look at, I mean, the gymnastics you have to do. Yeah. I don't envy it. I saw it in your eyes. You're like, you're about to say what you fight and you were like, things. Things. Yeah. We had our press junket this weekend and it was, it was a long one to the end. Me and Catherine, who plays the lead, were like sort of helping each other not spoil things. Yeah. There was one time she was like, and then Joe does, and I was like, I don't think that's in the trailer. Just like things, he does

stuff. You're already better than Tom Holland at this. Yeah. Although I found out all of that was fake. It was all a press thing, like a marketing. He did one, he like spoiled one thing and then they're like, Oh, we're going to run with this. Yeah. It felt like that. You know, after a point you're like, Oh, this is just, they know it's fun and it's funny. So they go, okay, you can say this. Guess what? This will probably have to come out in the edit. Yeah. Cause Joe's not allowed to spoil the fact that Tom Holland spoiling stuff is fake. Yeah. What if Joe's been told he's allowed to go out and they're like, I'll tell you what would be a good news story is if Joe Locke reveals that Tom Holland's spoiling stuff is fake and then that will run and then people will watch all of the Tom interviews again, all of Joe's interviews

and we'll get loads of press of it. Joe could be playing us in. I could be completely playing you. I've been fooled. And you're more sucking at the Marvel teeth than anyone. Happy to. Had you auditioned for Marvel stuff in the past? I hadn't. The one they first sent me the audition for this, I didn't have a clue what it was about. Like the first episode, which I can say is in the trailer, is like very like, because Agatha's in a spell at the end of WandaVision, she's like caught the true crime bug in our show. So after my first scene was a scene from episode one, which is set in like a police drama. And I was like, what the hell is this? This is not a Marvel series.

Cause they didn't tell me anything. And then like, as I got more in the process, they were like telling me a bit more and a bit more and a bit more. We've both auditioned for stuff from Marvel stuff before. And it's very, I thought you had, oh no, I think I did. I can't remember what it was for though. But what's fun is then seeing the thing that comes out and spot in the character that you auditioned for. Played by a megastar. Played by a megastar.

You're like, well, there's no way I was ever gonna get that. But also like you audition, you got given a completely different scene that wasn't even in it in the first place, but you get to piece it together and go, ah. It was the part of Chris Hemsworth. Obviously. Are you much of a foodie? Do you like food? I do like food. I've been able to eat a lot of nice food because of Lisa Fox. What's the best reservation that

Lisa Fox has managed to bag you? Ooh, this nice restaurant in Capri when I was on holiday a few weeks ago, which I tried and wasn't able to, but Lisa Fox was able to. Wow. So you tried it. It was the nicest pizza I've ever had in my life. They're like absolutely no way. They just read my Instagram messages and didn't reply. But Lisa Fox, did Lisa Fox like? She found, so you just email them on their normal like info at the restaurant's name. Does she give info? Does she say, Hey, have you seen Heartstopper? She, she- Cause you can't say that.

No, but she like, she says who I am. Yeah. Then in the next email, she'll like go into it a bit more. The reason I do it is cause she can say things that I can't. If I said them, I'd sound like an asshole. Yeah.

But she can say it. Can say this not good enough. Well, she's a sassy chick Lisa. Yeah, she is. Yeah. She's a history in the industry. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, we all. She's a history in the industry. Well, we all start with stiller spark than water, Joe. Do you have a preference? Sparkling, which I feel like I'm the only person under 25 who likes sparkling water, but I find water boring. So the sparkling water gives it like, I don't know, some energy, some fizz. Yeah. Well, you know, young people today, you got a shorter attention span. Yeah, exactly. So you need the water to be doing something. Exactly. I need to keep me hooked.

But you were saying that you think you're the only person under 25 who likes sparkling water. I think that Is it not big with the kids these days? No. Oh man. I feel like flavoured sparkling water is. Yeah. Seltzer.

Seltzer. Because everyone loves a white claw, but not like normal. Like a bottle of San Pellegrino. So does it make you feel like older when you drink a San Pellegrino? An old soul. I do, I am an old soul in general though. So yeah, it feels very fitting. Yeah. That's why you're able to pretend to be Lisa Fox.

Exactly. I presume she's over 25. Well, yeah, she's in my head. She's like mid thirties and a bit too much filler. Like, yeah. Now this is what I embody. It's just what I am inside really. Yeah. That's aspirational. Let's pitch the movie. It's, uh, it's Mrs. Doubtfire for the TikTok

generation. You get yourself in a situation where you have to dress up as Lisa Fox. Yeah. So what if that happens? What if they want to meet her? You're emailing and they fall in love with Lisa Fox. I have had people ask me how she is when I've like, Oh, how's Lisa? It was really great to email her. I'm like, oh, she's great. She's really good. Yeah. You know, she works really hard. Pretty much fellow again, but she'll get the balance right one day. Poor Lisa Fox. That's a good film. Yeah. It's a good film. We can pitch it. I think we should. We can all get in, get in on this together. I think, I mean, couldn't really fit into the MCU. So probably not. So no, maybe not. Probably not. Pitch it in on this together I think. I mean, it couldn't really fit into the MCU so probably not. No, maybe not.

Probably not picture to fire you. Maybe not. I mean, you never know. They've got a lot of different things now. Yeah. When he takes his cap off is that like, it's not work now. Like, I don't know. I feel like for me it was always still work.

You know, you want to impress him. Was it just you and him? No, there was a few of us which made it way easier. All the Avengers? He's a very, very lovely man. Yeah. Oh, I'm not an Avenger. Were the Avengers there though?

They weren't. That's like I was trying to catch you out by saying you were the rest of the Avengers and you were very quick. I'm not an Avenger. Yeah. I wasn't really trying to catch you out. Yeah. Accidentally I did.

This I've got you. You did get me. You really got me. J. Lofton Avenger. We got him. You think you got him? I just got him. This really got me. J.Locke's an Avenger. We got him. You think you got him? I just got him.

This is huge for the pod. People keep asking me like, oh, is your character going to come back? And I'm like, well, obviously I want him to. Yeah. It's a stupid question. Of course I want him to, but I don't know. Yeah. Like they're going to catch me out.

I'm like, well, I wouldn't say no, obviously. Yeah. That's an awful question as well. Cause like, it's not like any of them, even if your character died, if they all come back. So, yeah, that's not- No one ever dies in a Marvel show. Yeah, they all come back as a different part. Now they've got frigging Downey Jr. back again.

You're like, well, obviously, I don't have to ever get worried if I give them a die. That was the biggest death you ever did. And now he's like, six weeks later, all right, I was going back again. You excited. Takes his mask off like Feige takes his cap off. Feige had to teach him how to do that. Yeah, he did. Do it like this. This is the dramatic way of doing it. People could be going nuts when

I take my cap off. So you're going to have San Pellegrino. Yeah. That's my brand of choice. You want any ice and lemon in there? Yeah. Loads of lemon. Also maybe some lime. I prefer a lime than a lemon. Good on you. I prefer. Let's rank the citrus fruits. Lime, grapefruit, lemon, orange. I'd say that's correct. If we are, we just sticking to those four? Or what you're tricking us? What are you tricking? Well, I hate, I hate to be this guy, but where's the old Yuzu? I do like a Yuzu. Yeah. And Yuzu. Yuzu. I do like a Yuzu. Yeah. And Yuzu. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're ranking it amongst those four, which you did perfectly then immediately the bottom,

but only because, you know, it's less common. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah as much does it? Yeah. Pop lobs or bread? Pop lobs or bread? Oh, bread. But like a focaccia, like an oily focaccia, not a bready focaccia. You've just got back from Italy, did you say? You're on holiday. Yeah. So are you, you're in an Italian mindset now? I'm always in an Italian mindset. Oh yeah. Okay. This is good. Yeah. Yeah. How oily are we talking? Like really oily. Like the focaccia needs to like juice when you bite into it. Nice. Yeah, that's good. Like a rosemary on top. When you say you've always been in Italy in your mind and in your heart. When did that start? I think my mum only used to be able to make two meals. No offence mum. Bolognese and chili. Yeah. Bolognese with spices in.

and chili. Yeah. Just Bolognese spices in. So that is it. Two dishes is a real, that's a lovely compliment to your mum. Bolognese, chili or mince? Every meal, very Northern mum, every meal had mince in. Yeah. Um, so I think probably then, but then I found real Italian food and that as well. Again, no offence mum. No offence. I mean, I love a Bolognese. It's one of my favorite, whenever I go home, I always get her to make it for me. That's what you're getting no offense mom. No offense. I mean, I love a Bolognese. It's one of my favorite whenever I go home, I always get her to make it for me. That's what you're hoping for when you go home. You're hoping for the Bolognese rather than the chilli. She enjoys when I go home, she'll often say yes to making it in the same way. Like whenever I go home, she'll also do all my laundry and cause she just likes having me home. Yeah.

It just mean of me to take advantage of, I definitely do. Yeah. But you know, if the offer's there, right? Exactly. Yeah. If the offer isn't there, I know who can get it for you. Email your mum. Yeah. Hello. Joe? Joe would like the Bolognese when he returns home. I think she'd actually kill me if I did that.

It still goes out of her way to say who you are at the top. And link to your IMDB and your Insta. Yeah, in case she's forgotten. Yeah, if you do all this close, then you'll do an Insta tweet. Yeah. Insta tweet. I'm so old.

Are you having any, anything to dip it in or should it be oily enough for the focaccia that it doesn't need it? Balsamic. I love vinegary, anything with vinegary, but like olive oil and balsamic, not a sweet balsamic, like a really... Yeah. I'm with you. I don't like when it's too sweet. Actually, I get annoyed that I was giving it... When it's thick and sweet, it's like, yeah, yeah, no, it's almost a glaze.

My partner got the glaze during lockdown, ordered it. She absolutely loved it. She was like, have you tried this? I was like, yeah, it's disgusting. And it's the worst thing that's happened to me during lockdown. I can't believe you did it. I can't believe you got the balsamic glaze. Let's get into your menu proper. Okay. Your dream starter.

I had this for the first time a few months ago and I've probably ordered it every week. It's the pão baigi from Dachum. It's like, I think it's like blended vegetables and spices and they give you some bread to dip it in. I don't know what is in the mix, but it is the most delicious thing ever. And I luckily live in the Dishoom delivery radius, which is one of my biggest brags in life.

So I at least once a week will order it. Just that. And listen to any crazed Joe Locke fans listening to this, there's a number of Dishooms and a number of radii. So you're not going to be able to figure it out. Crazed Joe Locke fans listening to this. There's a number of D'Shoom's and a number of Radio Eye. So you're not going to be able to figure it out. Also, I think D'Shoom do Dark Kitchens now as well. They do.

So it could be anywhere. It could be anywhere. So just don't even bother trying to figure that out. That, yeah, I mean, that's great. When you realize like you're in the radius of one of your faves. I was in New York for a while at the start of the year and lots of my castmates were

like one of, they all kept like going on trips and then going to London like, oh, I'm going to go to Deschum and I was like, well, I live within the Deschum. They love Deschum, but Americans absolutely go bananas for it. I think they love the queuing aspect and all the, like that whole experience. Which of course you don't have to deal with. You know what, at Deschum, I have never not queued. Really? Yeah. Are they not, are they completely? No, they're like, they're like, they don't, they're immune to Lisa's, Lisa's

chimes. I just, I quite enjoy like the chai when you're cuing outside. Yeah. Yeah. The whole experience. Okay. So for Dishoom, you'll queue. Yeah. I mean, look, I love Dishoom, but the queue, I'm not, I'm not dealing with it. Nope. That's why I get it delivered. 25 minutes and deliver. I'm not, I'm not dealing with it. That's why I get it. 25 minutes and deliver. Narrowing it down now. Yeah. They're there. That's it. A map of London with a, with a compass to spin it that way. Is it either here, here or here? Is there any castmates who you've like, you know, you've bonded over going for meals, going for good food? I will. Yeah. I mean, I was in Atlanta for a long time last year and they have, weirdly have really good food in Atlanta, which you wouldn't expect. No offense to Atlanta, but

well, full offense by the sound of things. Yeah. It's a really foodie city. And I would, we'd go for a lot of meals with our cast mates, which is fun. Because then also if you go with Marvel, then you never pay. You can go to really nice restaurants and just eat what you want. Yeah. I would have the main on the side and two glasses of champagne. Thanks. Is that why Faggy takes his cap off? Cause he's got his wallet under there. Yeah. That's all the money he takes off and all the money just falls off.

He does. It's all loose change and notes. It just cascades down onto his shoulders. The weight of us to pick it off of his head. It's just a really heavy Amex. As Mickey is under there now. Yeah. Surgically attached to, can't remove them. They got him. I went to Disneyland a lot at the weekend in California, which was really fun. And they're like, I asked them, cause we were going to be in Anaheim for the week. I said, Oh, can

we go? And they're like, Oh, we'll be really busy. Cause it's D23. I was like, well, I don't expect a queue. You're going to be taking me. But it was a very, very fun. Did you skip lines and stuff? Did you get a little escort? Which is great. Oh, wow. It's a real power trip.

That's the dream. That's your dream. Yeah. Being shown, shown around Disney and skipping all the queues. I would love, especially if you're, I mean, obviously my head, you have been shown around by one of the characters. Yeah, it was Mickey. Yeah. And it's fine here under there. That's the twist. He takes it off. Mickey Mouse. If you were being escorted around Disney by one of the characters, which character would you most like to escort you around Disney? Yeah. Ooh, goofy. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Cause he's goofy. He is

goofy, but I don't trust his organizational skills. Yeah. He's gonna get you killed, man. Yeah. You were like, just fine. Don't put the seatbelt on. Yeah. Yeah. You don't, you don't want to be show round by goof. No, maybe not. I think Minnie would be responsible. She would. Yeah. Daisy. Yeah. And she's used to dealing with, I mean, she hates her husband. Yeah. They all seem to have dysfunctional marriages. Yeah. Well, cause they're all with, I mean, she hates her husband. Yeah. They all seem to just have dysfunctional marriages. Yeah. Well, cause they're all clearly related to each other. That's true. Yeah. That's not ideal. Daisy Duck is Donald Duck with eyelashes. They're related.

You're gonna get in trouble for that, man. I'm not. You're gonna get in deep trouble. I don't work for Disney. Not with that. You're never working for Disney. Oh shit. I used to have a bus driver that used to do a really good Donald Duck impression. Not related, just thought of it. That is related. At what point would he do the impression? How would he, how would he? Like when you were getting on the bus, you'd be like, can I have a child ticket to town please? And he'd be like, I can't do the impression. Yeah. But he would say yes to the Donald Duck voice. Yeah. Like, yeah, that's 70p or something. Yeah. And then would you still want to get on the bus after that? Yeah. I mean, in the Isle of Man, there's not much choice. Just get on the bus or walk for two hours. Yeah. You have to get on the Donald Duck bus. I remember when I was like young at being fun, but then I was like 13 and he was still doing it. Yeah. Get a new impression, man. Yeah. You've had a long time to work on a new impression and this isn't fun for us all, we're all on

the Isle of Man. Yeah. I'm the loud speaker like. Yeah. Are your dream main course? There's a restaurant in New York called Don Angi and it's like Italian American and they do these lasagna rolls. It's a big dish. I don't know why they decided to make them rolls, but it's the nicest thing I've ever eaten in my life. I said that about the pav bhaji, but I still

mean it. It should all be that. It's the nicest meal I've ever had in my life. Yeah. And that was a Lisa Fox reservation. Oh yes. Well done Lisa. Joe will only eat lasagna if it's in rolls. If we see it stacked like a normal lasagna, you are in big trouble. Yeah. Only in rolls. Yeah. So as in the past, everything's rolled up. It's like rolled and then they like slice it. So like a Swiss roll that's like cut up. So like a, like an M&S wrap. Yeah, but like loads of little M&S wraps in the dish. I think Swiss roll covered it for analogy wise.

Well, Joe said that like they cut it diagonally at the top. Yeah, they do. Oh, it's diagonal. And for me that's like a M&S wrap. An M&S wrap or even a Sainsbury's or Tesco wrap. You know, they tend to do it diagonal cut at the top. There's something about the diagonal cut that makes everything seem more fancy. It is.

Because sometimes I'll do that at home with a steak. Wow. And you feel like, yeah, well, yeah, you let it rest and then you just, when you're cutting it, just go in diagonally and then put it on a plate and then for presentation, just sort of fan it out. And I'll do that at home alone. He does it at home alone and he pretends to steak his wife and he talks to it. Yeah. I also have a wife. Steak was my run rap, my main, but the lasagna took it. The lasagna rolls sound great. So they then putting them in the dish and then sort of putting more stuff on top of it.

Like more cheese and more sauce. And yeah, yeah. They used to have a Michelin star, but they lost it. But I don't know why, because their food's amazing. That's weird. I wonder what, if they're trying to get the star back with the diagonal cut. Well, this is why I was like, probably a good time to go because they just lost the stars. They'll be trying to get it back. Yeah. Perfect. So they're working hard. Did Lisa Fox say that in her email? If you want that star back, how about you get a star, come and eat in your restaurant. Well, I have a star for you. Yeah. I'll be so tempted. You're very restrained with Lisa Fox. If it was me and I was pretending to be my own assistant, I would go absolutely hog wild with stuff I said about myself and

emails. Can I use her email? So like get, when we're on holiday, I'm like, no, you know, if I expand Lisa Fox to more than just me, then who knows what she'll do. Yeah. But also here's the thing, I think Lisa Fox works for you because you're you and you're an actor and you're on TV shows. Yeah, but they use it on my name

and then I just wouldn't turn up. Sure. Yeah, you can't do that. Or even if they're just saying like, hey, it's Lisa Fox. I'm about to present Joe Locke. Could his mom come and have a meal soon? I mean, that's going to start. Then it's like, God, it's Joe Locke guy.

He just tries to get meals for his family. Surely one day you're going to have an actual assistant. I mean, hopefully. There's going to be a horrible moment where you're going to have to fire your fake assistant. Oh no. Will you send out an email from Lisa Fox to everyone saying, I'm leaving the current position, but here's my replacement if you need anything. Maybe

I will just like use the same email and just, yeah. Yeah. Or whoever you hire, you have to say, by the way, your name's Lisa Fox now. Yeah. No, no, I, I think Lisa Fox has to send out an email. Yeah. Letting all the people know it's with a heavy heart. Yeah. Terminating my employment with Joe Locke. It's been 15 glorious years. I just can't handle it anymore. Yeah. I really respect this strategy of booking restaurants though. Not just the Lisa Fox. I mean, if I can get a reservation on my own, I'll just get a reservation. Sure. Yes. But Lisa Fox is plan B. Lisa Fox is there if it doesn't, because restaurants always have tables. Yeah. They always do.

That's the secret that you learn. The deeper you get into this biz. You know, hold on a second, restaurants have always got, are you shitting me? They're like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Someone tells you. Every performance, every theatre has seats. They're all there. None of it's sold out. We'll get you in.

Speak for you though. Although I was, I'm going to the Fringe tomorrow and I wanted to get tickets for a show. So I emailed them and they were like, no, we're really sold out. And I was like, actually sold out? Like really? And they're like, yeah. I was like, all right. Never have to before. Maybe you had to go industrial on that. The next day it's like, my name is Sam Buttersby. I am Joe Lugg's lawyer. You better free up those things or we're gonna take you to court. Yeah, maybe I will tomorrow.

Get Sam Buttersby off the bench. I will. The lawyer. Have you got a lawyer in real life? I do have a lawyer. Well, not anymore. Well. You got Sam Buttersby.

No, I'm just kidding. Some will have to fight with my lawyer cause she's great. Yes. I wouldn't want to be at the end of. No? Yeah. Oh dear.

Perfect filler as well. Your dream side dish Joe. I really thought about this one. I've gone with on the same lines of having with the lasagna and not just my like, because if it wasn't I just have like really vinegary chippy chips. Mm-hmm. That would be my, but they wouldn't go with the lasagna. So I've gone with like really garlicky citrusy broccolini, like the long ones.

Yeah. Really like so garlicky and citrusy that it hurts when you eat them. Oh, you want to be in pain. Yeah, I want like three whole limes or lemons like just to squeeze on top. Yeah. We can provide you with the whole whole you know, all the citrus is ranked. Yeah. Okay. Just like if I can decide what mood I'm in Do all yeah, you can just go for it. You know, are you gonna put grapefruit on your broccolini though? Maybe not maybe not but it'll be there just in case. You never know. Yeah, you never know what sort of means you're gonna be using I mean that's just because people haven't started doing that yet

Maybe if a restaurant started doing grapefruit on the broccolini, everyone would be like, actually that's awesome and copy it. There was this Don Andre restaurant, they did a chrysanthemum salad of like chrysanthemum leaves from the flower, which was weird, but delicious. Sounds like a great plan. Yeah, this does sound good. I'm just disappointed to hear it's lost its star. Hopefully they get it back.

Hopefully this will help them. We are very much part of the decision process with the Michelin organization. We basically decide. That's gonna be strange for that restaurant. Yeah, we lost a Michelin star, but then we got it back where we were mentioned on a podcast that discusses incest amongst the Disney characters. We're very grateful to them. Are you such a foodie that you look for the Michelin style places and you're like,

I'd like to tick that off. I'd like to go to that place. You know, I have, I went through a period where I was like, oh, I want to try and get a loads of like Michelin star restaurants. And I realized that I just don't have the palette for it. Right. Like I was in Brazil and me and my friend Kit were there for press and Netflix had booked us this like really nice restaurants. We did one of the best in the world, like 15 course tasting menu. And then it got to the dessert and the food was like,

it was fine. I got to the dessert and it was like, what we thought was the chocolate thing with this white chocolate sauce. It wasn't, it was Gorgonzola sauce. I mean, you took a big bite of it and the chef was looking directly at me as I was eating it. And I like was like vomiting in my mouth

because it was the most strong, like disgusting. Also a surprise, right? Yeah, I was expecting some really nice white chocolate at the end of this like long posh meal of like caused this like ants. Yeah. So how are you with the ants? The ant was fine. It tasted like lemons because it was eating lemongrass, which is great. So where are you ranking ants in the citrus?

Above Yuzu below. Wow, above Yuzu. Poor Yuzu. That's a bad day for Yuzu. Above Yuzu below. Wow, above Yuzu. Poor old Yuzu. That's a bad day for Yuzu. Poor Yuzu. There is that thing though, if you're expecting one thing and it turns out to be another thing, it's almost more disgusting.

I was trying to like tell the others at the table, like don't do it. And they were like, but I had it in my mouth and I was trying to, and I was like looking at them and they were both doing it at the same time and us feeling the same things. As the chef was like staring at us like, yeah, good. You got your mouth full as they're going, I love white chocolate down the hatch.

You're trying to communicate it with the white chocolate. Here I come. Two tickets to chocolate town please. I'm trying to swallow it was horrible. What are the Brazilian fans like? Cause all I ever hear from people who are in shows that are big in Brazil, they go out there and it's like madness. Brazil is being in Brazil was the only time in my life I've ever felt famous. Yeah. Like we had like a car and security and we're like, some are people outside of a restaurant we

go to and they have a very fun culture there. I'm not sure I could deal with that every day, but it's nice to know people like at work, I guess. So not only was the chef staring at you. Yeah. There were people at the window just staring at you. Literally. Eating the gorgonzola. Yeah.

Everyone looking at you. He thinks that's white chocolate. We got him with the classic trick. He's falling for it again. Yeah. Where are you from up north? The Isle of Man. So sort of up north.

No, that's not up north. Well, it- That's an island. Yeah, but yeah, you're right. Yeah, no, I'm not right. It's easier to describe as up north. Yeah, I'm not right. You are, because you're from there. But when you say about Michelin star places, so my girlfriend's from Manchester and rightly

gets very annoyed that places, often places in London get Michelin stars a lot quicker than places outside of London, especially places up North. And like, I wondered if you, you find that as well when you're like, trying this Michelin star food. There's nowhere on the Isle of Man that deserves a Michelin star, no offence. Okay, well, again, full offence.

I mean, every time you say no offence, you really have fully slammed an entire place. There's some great food in the Isle of Man, but not good enough to get a Michelin star. Yeah. Maybe I've just not been not been to them. There's a lot of fish. I'm not a big fish fan Right, there's a lot of fish places on the Isle of Man. Yeah, you'd hope so as well. You would. Yeah, I mean they're surrounded Yeah, I think they should give a Michelin star to the bus driver for the impression Yeah, Michelin should start doing that just awarding things that aren't food, but that they think are cool start doing that just awarding things that aren't food but that they think are cool

and going that gets a michelin star and so it's on the bus and there's michelin and then like what's that for and he'll be like what do you think it's for well that's deserved and then really sad one year he loses a star yeah yeah his impressions he let it drop he did he started and then he's got to try and get it back he starts like wearing wearing no bottoms to be more like Donald Duck gets fired from the bus. I was really confused then. That'd be more like Donald. Yeah. It'd be more like most bus drivers. Yeah.

If you're a bus driver, I don't think I'd wear trousers most of the day. No one can see, right? Can't they? No. When have you looked down at a bus driver's crotch? All the time, I was check. That's the rule, always check. Always check when you go in a bus that they're not Donald Duck in it or Winnie the Pooh in it. Yeah, Winnie the Pooh is the main culprit. Is he the main person you think of when you

think of someone wearing no trousers or pants? Is Winnie the Pooh? You know what? He is. I saw someone walking past King's Cross yesterday with no shoes and no trousers on, but he looked like he had a shirt on. So he seemed quite, he was on the phone. Yeah. Some very... Hot day. Normal. It was warm day. It wasn't like shorts though. They were very clearly just underwear. But shirt and tie on his mobile phone.

Para-Calvins. I saw the Olympians at King's Cross the other day. Oh. Dropped my friend off at the train station and they were all getting off the Eurostar. Wow. And they're wearing their medals, Joe. Good for them. I dropped my friend off at the train station and they were all getting off the Eurostar and they're wearing their medals Joe. Good for them. I mean, I would. I wouldn't actually. Wouldn't you? I don't know.

If everyone, if all the other medals was then yeah. Yeah. You don't know if you're ever going to do it again. I just wouldn't ever win a medal. Oh, come on mate. Yeah, you would. Come on. You might win an Oscar or something one day. Are you telling me you're not going to land in Heathrow holding the Oscar?

I will, but then no one else will have won one one so I wouldn't have anyone else to do it with. Depends who you fly home with. Yeah, you could say to all the Oscar winners, you want to come back to the Isle of Man. So come back to the Isle of Man for a party and then as you like get on the plane, you just turn and go, everyone hold your Oscars, everyone hold your Oscars. Get them on your backpacks. That'd be great. I mean you would put it in your hand luggage, I wouldn't trust it in the hold.

No, I'd hold on to it for the whole thing. It wouldn't even go in the hand luggage. No, yeah. Just keep, yeah. Gripping onto it for dear life. Yeah. On the Isle of Man, what's the vibe like on the Isle of Man with you now being successful in Hollywood, et cetera? Is it, we're so proud of Joe,

or is it, here he comes, Billy Big Bollocks? Here he comes, Billy Big Bollocks. Yeah. People don't give a shit, which is great. Yeah. But then it's almost like so the opposite while it's... People don't give a shit, which is great. But then it's almost like, so the opposite that it's almost embarrassing. Like getting recognized in the Isle of Man

is just the worst thing. Cause it's not like, oh, here's this actor, I know his stuff, it's, oh, here he comes. Thinks he's all high and mighty now. Even though we're currently saying that on the Isle of Man, which he's returned to and he's still visiting and seeing people. So he clearly doesn't think he's too good for us because he's literally

here. Yeah. I mean, I'm really glad I've left, but like, I love going back. I feel like I've got a new appreciation for it now. I've been nice places. Yeah. Now I can, you know, go for two days and then leave. I enjoy it way more. Your dream drink. Aperol Spritz. I think it's just like the classic Italian. I'm going for the Italian main course. It's just my favorite.

I could drink it like juice. I do drink it like juice. Oh yeah? In the summer. So it's the, that's Campari. Aperol. Aperol, same thing. Is that different? They're very different. Aperol. Aperol. Same thing. Is that different?

Different. Aperol. Campari is more like bitter. Campari is actually orange whereas Aperol looks orange but isn't orange. Yeah. So this is actually a big moment. I've not... Ed is the one who knows stuff on the podcast. Yeah. Very rare does he get picked up on stuff and he's got it wrong. You've already established that you're under 25.

I'm not going to ask what your exact age is, but you just fucking destroyed him. Sorry Ed. I don't feel destroyed. Well, you look educated. There's smoke coming up of you. Also I feel thick because it's called an Aperol Spritz. Yeah. So like really, really did you on that one.

So Campari, that was you straight out the gate. Real confident. But that's another red Italian drink. That's like me when I said tweet and Instagram earlier. Yeah. Prosecco. Prosecco and soda. I know people who make it without the soda and they're like, oh, it's way better. And I said, no, otherwise it's not spirits. You need to have the soda. Also then you can make it a much bigger drink. Yeah. And you can like, if it's just Prosecco and apple, you can't like glug it. I want to be able to like have three and a half an hour and if you're right, if it's just per second, you can't like glug it. Yeah. I want to be able to like have three and a half an hour.

And if you're right, it'd be acceptable. Yeah. You got, you got a glug the spritz. Are you, are you quite a burpee boy after that? I'm quite a burpee boy anyway. Yeah. Yeah. For it being coming up this way, though, than a big farty boy. Yeah. We recorded an episode earlier today and I farted during it, Joe. Oh, sometimes you can't help it it. Open up and tell you that. I mean, it's quite a small room. It is, it's a small room. There's no real airflow in here. So yeah, it was unpleasant.

It was a guess that I knew anyway. That's good though. At least if it was, yeah, if I'd done it during this episode, I'd just jump out the window. You know, it would break the ice maybe if you did it at the start. No, no. If I'd done it in front of you, Joe, you'd never see me again. I'd have felt like, you know, you felt comfortable enough to find in front of me, you know, it's a nice thing. Sometimes though when you're like really clenching it and you just can't hold it anymore. Yeah.

Well, exactly. I mean, I didn't even do that last night. Just let it go. Yeah. Didn't even let it go. Just didn't even know it was going to happen until it happened. That's 39 now. I shout, I shouted too loud and that was it. It was when he was saying poppadums or bread. Right. He shouted and the fart came out. Yeah. No one heard it.

I had to tell them it happened, but it's better be honest. Did it smell or was it, do you get away with it? I don't think it did. I don't think it was a smelly one. So you really could have got away with it. Yeah. Absolutely. Completely got away with it.

But I thought, you know, this is the first of the podcasts. We've been recording these since 2018. I should let them all know that it's finally happening. I've passed wind on the pod. Yeah. It's been, it's a long time to not let it happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've done well actually. Yeah. We should have a thing on the wall that says this many days without a fart. We've got to put it, we've got to put it back, put it back to zero. Yeah. When you meet someone for the first time, when do you feel relaxed enough to fart or

burp in front of them? Sorry that it's come to this Joe. I know what I do. It really depends. I feel like there's a part that wants to do it quite early to like break the ice. Yeah. But it depends who it is. Like I'm not going to fart in front of Kevin Feige.

Of course not. If the hat's off, I think. Well, the danger is if you fart and blow his hat off. That would just... You'll blow off my hat! You little punk kid, you'll never work in this town again. But obviously like when you're doing like a long series. I mean within two weeks you get so on, you're like, you see each other at your worst. Yeah. You never done it on camera by mistake. Oh, many times. Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh, there's an house to her in the last season, me and Kit were filming our first ever sex scene and Kit, he farted during the first,

which is really great. Cause it like broke, like it's such an awkward thing during the sex scene, but like it was like mid kiss. And I just heard him fart and I just never, I think they got it and they recorded it. I really hope that makes the blooper reel. Cause it just like broke the ice completely. Yeah. Of like the awkwardness of of so that was a great fart. Yeah. That's

a wonderful fart to know what I don't know. It wasn't me who actually fired. So just told his story. Sorry. Okay. James tried to make the pun fart stopper there, but it's a good one. That's what we call it in our cast group chat. We call it much worse than fart stopper, but I won't repeat them on this. I'm into the group chat. That'll be fun. If out of nowhere, it's all the cast of heartstopper and me and me for no reason. And I keep calling it fart stopper. And just say James A. Cass has been under the group. Just stop and then put it on the pooper reel. Put on the pooper reel and then I'll do one. And then put on the pooper reel.

And then I'll do like the devil horns hands emoji. And then I'll just wait. I just look at it until someone replies. I wonder what they reply. I imagine I'd get ignored for the whole thing. Who do you think would leave the group first if James kept posting? And it's always stuff like that.

I'm never like changing it up. I'll answer who I think would reply first. Toby would reply first and he would love it. Great. That's good. I'm in with Toby straight away. And every now and again, I think I would, I don't need to, if someone was opening up

about something serious, I would write, and I'd only ever write, we're all here for you. So I would do that. I would say, we're all here for you. Or I'd make puns about farts. And those are my only two gears. Yeah. I think, I mean, it's not a very serious group chat.

So I think, you know, not in that group chat. If I have that, have that. Okay. Just think, yeah, I can shift into we're all here for you. Yeah. But I'm not allowed to say it twice in a row. Yeah. We arrive at your dream dessert.

It's very exciting. I'm a sweet tooth boy. So desserts, my favorite course. And I know that you were hoping something was going to be white chocolate and was annoyed it was cheese. So I know that you're on team sweet too. I am. I am. I love cakes. Yeah. My dessert would be a tiramisu. Yeah. Love a tiramisu. Almost all Italian. I told you. You stuck to your promise. Yeah. Or likeamisu. Almost all Italian. I told you, I'm Italian. You stuck to your promise. Yeah. Or like a, I also love a churro. Yeah.

But that's not really, I feel like that's like a post dessert. I had some really good gigs in Truro on my last tour in Cornwall. Where's the best tiramisu you've ever had? I know. I love the M&S tiramisu. Wow. After talking about being on the Amalfi coast and going to all these fancy restaurants. Yeah. Mediterranean and Sardinia. Yeah. That's

very quick. That is that. That's demeaning. Isn't it? When one comedian says to another, that was very quick. It like a congratulatory time, but thank you. The one that comes in like the big, the big tray one. Yeah. The tray, the whole tray. Yeah. Yeah. That's good stuff. And like, is it really? Cause I don't know if I've had one from M&S, is it really creamy? It's quite creamy and it's very coffee-y as well. Coffee-y. Yeah.

I'd say coffee-y, yeah. You want to really, yeah, I mean, it depends what like different, I found that more and more with Tumor Su, the creamier it is, the more I go nuts for it. But then other people value it. I guess also on my starter, it'd be too lactate just to take right into stock. Oh yeah, absolutely.

I mean, look, you're in the dream restaurant. So lactose intolerance doesn't exist. Yeah. If you, if you want the genie to take away your, your lactose intolerance. Like John Coffey. Yeah. Coffey. I'm like John Coffey from the green mile.

I can take it away from him. Right. Yeah. But John Coffey takes people's pain away from them. I can take the lactose intolerance from him. So I'll be coffee, he, like the two in the zoo. Have you seen the green mile? Doesn't he take the pain away and it goes through him? So then he lactose intolerant, are you lactose intolerant?

He'll always then just spill it out of his mouth like this swarm of flies. But I guess when I take it in and absorb it, I will have that temporarily within me. And I will have to take that from Joe. I'll just give you some lactate as you. Yeah. You always have some with me.

That's very thoughtful. Today, cause I know a few lactose intolerant people, do those pills actually work? I don't know if it's like a placebo or something. Most of the time I also just forget. I just, I'm like, in the moment I'm like, it's fine and then two hours later, I'm just like crying over the toilet.

You ever have a pill and you're like, it's not working, I'm gonna take another one. Yeah. I mean, it's just lactase. So I don't think it'll do anything to you. Yeah. Careful, man. You never know. You take too many, then you can only eat dairy. You become... Yeah. Then that's all you can eat.

If you're eating it, if it isn't dairy, you're in trouble. Yeah. You have to live on a dairy only diet forever. It'd be awful if you became dairy though, wouldn't it? Yeah, I wouldn't like that. And I really like dairy and like in things. People who drink milk, I find really weird. It's creepy.

A glass of milk. It's creepy. It's weird. Unless you're a kid, it's cold. You familiar with the comedian Josh Whitacombe? Yes. He'll buy just a little pint of milk from the shop and drink it on his way home.

I just like grow up. That's what I think to that. Correct. Did you hear that Josh? Grow up. Grow up you loser. No, I just, I also just hate the taste of milk. Like that weird aftertaste you get. Yeah. And the thought of what it is just like creeps me out. Yeah. But if it's in stuff.

It's in stuff, it's fine. Yeah. I make a mean custard. Talk us through the mean custard recipe. Yeah. It's it's in stuff, it's in stuff, it's fine. Yeah. I make a mean custard. Talk us through the mean custard recipe. Yeah. It's just cream and egg yolks and vanilla. And then you just whisk it. Nice. But I just, it just tastes really nice. I've never made my own custard before. I mean, yeah. To me, this is like, this is not for anything just to have and then you can like make it really thick and eat it with a spoon. Yeah. Yeah.

There's loads of people our age or older. I'm talking about mine and Ed's age or older, who are just going, oh, young people these days. They don't do it. We used to have proper experiences. We ain't made custard this guy. So, you know, what are you talking about if you're listening? Is that your signature dish, would you say? Or are there other things you can cook? My signature dish is a brownie. I can make a really good brownie. Like really fudgy. I'm really specific about brownies. It has to be not cakey, really fudgy, almost like raw. Also, I mean, for a stage I learned to make these brownies and afterwards I dipped them in

melted chocolate and let them set. So they had a, and that was... Yeah, a good brownie you should never be able to have more than like a little square. Yeah. Because it's so rich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it should make you feel really sick. It should be the same size as more than like a little square. Because it's so rich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It should make you feel really sick. It should be the same size as the lactase pill. Yeah.

Yeah. There's a place, a new place that's opened up in Hackney called Running Late, which is a coffee place. Which I mainly went in for the first time just to congratulate them that they hadn't gone with the pun running latte. I was like, first of all, I said, first of all, congratulations on not calling this place running late. You didn't open with that. I did.

Oh my god. I said, congratulations on not calling this place running late. And they went, thank you. It was so many people told us to call it running late and we stuck to our guns and called it running late. And I was like, well, you made the right choice. I feel like they've got the ultimate James A. Castor experience. First of all, congratulations on not calling this with any latte. But they've got these little brownie bites, these salted caramel ones that are layered up. So it's

like brownie, salted caramel, brownie, but it is very small. Like you say, they're good. They're dangerously good. I love a bit of caramel. Yeah. They were very nice little like just like perfect amount, like each layer is the exact same size. You've got double the brownie to the salted caramel. Nice. I'm not bored. You know how everyone's going like salted caramels everywhere is just, I'm not mad about it. I will never get bored of salted caramel. It's great. No, I'm done with normal caramel. Now I have to me that is normal caramel. Yeah. Same. I've done down on how much of a sweet do they had because I feel like it makes me feel like a more of a kid, but like it's more grown up to say you don't have a sweet tooth anymore.

But I 100% have a sweet tooth. You're talking to two people that have been going on. We like absolutely strong arm to into a conversation about farts. You were talking about getting into nice Michelin star restaurants. We're like, who have you ever farted in front of? So don't worry about how old you're appearing because we are pathetic, Joe. When we listen back to this, it's just going to be two, two weird old men saying to a young, talented man, what's the worst fart you've ever done?

We haven't asked that. Probably after some dairy. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be dairy. Thank you. Yeah. I'll be mentioning that in the group chat. I was in a theatre once and my stomach was just, I just, in the middle, I never like leave a theatre during a show. I think it's really rude, but I had to.

I was like, it's me or the chair. It's going to be rude to stay. It's going to be really rude to stay to everyone around me. I was like right in the middle and I felt like such a wanker. Yeah. And you can't explain, can you, that awkward thing of edging down past people. I'm like, I'm just about to shit myself. Please, sorry. Can you move?

Yeah. Yeah. Just doesn't work. When you left, did you go but to their face or but to the stage? It's not helping us. But to their face, because I wanted to like the performers to know that I was like, I was still wanting to be there with them, but just... I'm watching for as long as I can. Yeah. And then I waited outside to the interval, even though it was like 10 minutes into the show. Cause I was like, I can't walk back in.

Yeah. What was the show? I can't, I'm not going to say that. Gruffalo life. Well, yeah, it was actually, it was the Gruffalo live. It's my favorite one. Yeah. Best thing I've seen. On a major menu back to you now. See how you feel about it. Great. You would like sparkling San Pellegrino water with every single citrus fruit at your disposal. Popped almonds or bread. You want oily focaccia with garlic and rosemary, olive oil that oozes out of there and balsamic vinegar.

Start, you want the pav bhaji from Dishoom, main course, the lasagna rolls from Don Angie. Yeah. I'm gonna go and find them. I want those lasagna rolls big time. Side dish, the garlicky citrusy broccolini drink and Aperol spritz, which has what in it Ed? Aperol. And dessert you would like the M&S tiramisu. Yes. Fantastic. That does sound very nice Joe. That's a, that's a delicious menu I think. And nice to have a new thing that has made

both of our food bucket lists there. Yeah, it really happens. Yeah, we do have to go to New York for it. Yeah. Do you know anyone who can hook me up with first class tickets? Lisa Fox might. Yes, Lisa Fox. She's yet to get me, airlines don't, they don't do it.

No, I love that you've tried though. I have. I have tried. I will try again. Demons Fox for the millionth time. We are not putting this guy in first class. We do not care. Has Lisa Fox been emailing Benito? That's what I want to know. Oh yeah. But maybe Benito has been speaking to Lisa Fox. That's quite exciting. Maybe. Maybe Rosie out there is just like, yeah, we're going to go.

She's not there. She's just, yeah. I just hired her to like make me seem professional. How about this? How about this scenario? Lisa Fox gets you first class on a plane. You sit down and the stewardess comes up to you and says, uh, Mr. Locke, please. We'd like to treat everyone in first class amazingly. Will you like to come to the cockpit and you go in and then the pilot turns around and goes, what's up, doc? He's doing the Bugs Bunny impression and it's the bus driver and he's got up in the world in order to get his mission in Starbuck. I think I'd probably get off the plane. I'm not sure, like, I don't know, some of his driving was very Isle of Man. Well, there are no speed limits, so. you can, there's no national speed limits.

You can drive as fast as you want in some roads. Really? That's pretty cool man. Yeah. It's cool but like so dangerous. Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant Joe. It's been a pleasure. See you on the group chat buddy. Yeah. Fart stopper. Fart stopper. The wonderful Joe Lock there, James. Thank you so much, Joe, for coming in. What a lovely menu. What a lovely menu. What a lovely man. And thank you for putting up with all of our shit.

Yes, we're very, very sorry. And if this may improve our chances of having our apology accepted, we'd like to encourage everyone to watch Agatha All Along, which is out on the 19th of September here in the UK. I'm told it's out on the 18th in the US. We know we've got some US listeners. Yeah but you know you're getting it a day earlier than us, what's this? Maybe it's timings so it'll just because it's a few hours later so we just get it after midnight here. Also Heartstopper.

Series three. Series three. It's on Netflix on the 3rd of October in whatever country you're in. Thank you Netflix for not screwing us over like Disney have done. You're gonna have an absolute Joe Lockfest in September and October.

Yes, and there's no excuse for not having a Joe Lockfest. And shout out to the Donald Duck bus driver if you're listening, buddy. We're sorry that we've asked you, but we hope you not having a Joe Locke fest and shout out to the Donald Duck bus driver if you're listening buddy We're sorry that we've asked you But we hope you're having a great time I now want to go to the Isle of Man and just get every bus I see absolutely until until we see him also Thank you to Joe Locke for not saying the secret ingredient, which I've now forgotten He didn't say it right did he imagine if we remember it now if I'll fuck he said it and we should have chucked him out.

It was lasagna rolls. It was lasagna rolls all cut diagonally. It was of course spring onions. Spring onion. I wasn't listening out for it. Geez. I mean did he say it? Hang on. Let's go through his menu again. Pabargy. There might have been spring onion in that. Yeah you never know. The lasagna rolls.

Side dish was? Broccolini. Okay, that's all right. Yeah. Obviously, Tumisu ain't got no spring onion. It's not gonna be sticking out of an Aperol spritz, although it might be. I don't fucking know anything about it.

Yeah, I don't think I was in an Aperol spritz, but you didn't think Aperol was in it. You got absolutely owned. I didn't feel owned, I'll be honest. Yeah, he fucking- Until you said- Owned you. Until you said I'd been owned. He could have gone a lot harder on me.

You wait till you listen back. I ain't listening back, I got owned. You wouldn't want to hear that again. Look, maybe we have missed out. Maybe it's in the power barge, we should have kicked Joe Lockout. Well, listen everybody, this is very exciting because we'd like to announce a competition. There's a new competition that Benito would like you all to know about. All you have to do is you have to tweet the great Benito and you

have to tell him all the ingredients of an Aperol spritz and get them all completely right. And everyone who gets it right will get a signed chopping board. You have to send them in the order that Joe Locke sent them in, that's very important. Yeah. And then you will get the signed chopping board sent directly to your house. We might make chopping boards. This is something that Benito's found recently today on for merch,

that we actually can get chopping boards and we're saying Can we get them with your signature on them? Like you know pre pre signed but him doing them by hand but when you've been offered when you've been offering a signed chopping board in your mind if you've been offering a Chopping board signed by the great Benito. Yeah Because I assumed we were offering a chopping board signed by me and you know, I've always imagined it's signed by the great Benito. Yeah. Cause I assumed we were offering a chopping board signed by me and you. No, I've always imagined it's signed by Ben. But do you not remember when we actually had to send

someone a signed chopping board, we both signed it. I thought Ben signed it. What? Ben signed it. Oh. First time we did it, we said it was signed by Ben and Ben did it. So that's a false memory you've got

of signing the chopping board. Mandela syndrome. Mandela. But like maybe Mandela should have, we should get. Okay. If you list all the ingredients in the Aperol spritz in the order that Joe did them, the great Benito will send you a chopping board signed by Nelson Mandela. That is our promise. But Benito has just told us that only one person has ever received one, even though we must have done this competition 80 or 90 times by now. Yeah. So if you are due one and you haven't ever received one, even though we must have done this competition 80 or 90 times by now.

Yeah, so if you are due one and you haven't yet received it, please tweet a screen grab of the DM that you sent to the off menu account or whatever going, I am owed this, pony up. Yeah, also I'm adding apricots to the fruit salad. Yeah, so that's on there. So if you've got the full fruit salad, tweet off menu official, say all the ingredients of the fruit salad, and then you will get a signed chopping board. And that should be, it will be either from Great Benito or Nelson Mandela.

Yeah, and that's our promise and we will keep it. We will keep it because we care about you, care about our listeners. And listen, it's an honor hosting this podcast for you every week and we don't take you for granted. Enjoy your chopping boards. Enjoy your chopping boards. Look after each other. Bye bye. Hello, this is Nish Kamar and I'm on tour right now with my new show, Nish Don't Kill

My Vibe. Yes, that is a Kendrick Lamar reference. I'm so cool. If you enjoy classic humour about subjects such as the climate crisis and income inequality, why not come down? Get your tickets at nishkamar.co.uk.