Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 268: Jessica Hynes

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

We welcome Bafta-winning actor and writer and ‘Spaced’ star Jessica Hynes to the Dream Restaurant this week, and she welcomes us to her restaurant. P.S. Once again, this is a disclaimer to say that no one is receiving a signed chopping board. Yes, we could edit this out, but it is funny. Jessica Hynes stars in ‘The Franchise’ which is available on HBO, Sky and streaming service NOW. Watch it here. Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Exploring Irish ghost stories and haunted Irish history. Listen to these ACAR shows wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the pink sugar of friendship, pouring it into the candy floss machine of the internet, collecting the floss of humor onto the stick of great meals Man, how has it taken this long for us to do a candy floss? Well you to do okay, I'm not gonna share the credit with this one. You just need to be close I just want to reveal that when I started doing it James's eyes lit up. I was like aiming

He was beaming even though I don't like candy floss, it reminds me people will find weird. People will find that weird and off brand. But the feeling of being a kid, discovering what candy floss is, having not tasted it before but really wanting it is one of the best feelings. Yeah. I love the idea of candy floss. I do not eat candy floss. Yeah.

Something that pops up in my algorithm quite a lot is a family where the dad makes candy floss art Wow, I don't know where they are in Southeast Asia somewhere and he can make like whole flowers with different colored petals using different candy Flosses and his kids are getting good at it now as well. And I'm very proud of them That's a gamble. My name is James a castle together. We own a dream restaurant and every single week We invite in a guest and I said a fake desk and after their favorite ever start a main course dessert side dish and drink not in that order and this week our guest is Jessica Hines Jessica Hines just National treasure alert

Absolutely ring a ding ding national treasure Amazing comedy actor writer. I mean obviously Ed Ed and I, we grew up with Spaced. Sure did. Immediately. We're slowly ticking off our Spaced register. We are slowly ticking off the Spaced register. Jessica is in the franchise, which is out now on Sky Comedy and now. Yes, you got to go watch it. What a cast.

Himesh Patel, Loli Adafope, who has obviously been on this podcast. Also, Richard E. Grant's popping up every now and again. He was on this podcast as well. I'm just shouting out the people that have been on the pod. If you haven't been on the pod, I ain't shouting you out. Although Himesh hasn't been on the pod, but. We should get him on the pod. We're aspirational here.

Yeah, Nish bullies him. We gotta get him on the pod. Yeah, Nish calls him Hollywood and points his finger millimeters from the bridge of his nose and says Hollywood. And does that every time he sees him. Sam Mendes is like, well, directed the first episode as they produced it as well. Armando Iannucci. Been on the pod.

Been on the pod. Like it's very exciting. The trailer looks amazing. Yes. Can't wait to see it. We were recording this in the past. It's not out yet. So, yes. So we've not seen full episodes yet, but we've seen the trailer. We're very excited and we are very excited to have Jessica Hines in the dream restaurant. Love Jessica Hines. And, uh, I mean, there's so much to ask her about. Um, and I imagine it'll all go out my head by the time we sit down, but, um, but hopefully she will not go out of the dream restaurant. Oh, lovely. If she picks a secret ingredient, which we have pre decided upon and was the only thing that we could think of. It was the first idea and the one that we're going with. Ben suggested you said yes.

No, I think I came out of the toilet and I said, I know what Jessica's secret ingredient should be. And you said, Heinz baked beans. And I said, yes, that's what I was thinking of. Very rare that Ed ever comes out of the toilet. Yeah. I record most of mine from inside the toilet. Yeah. Yeah. Usually. So when he's got an idea, he'll come out of the toilet and announce it. At this time it was the secret ingredient should be Heinz baked beans. Heinz baked beans because Jessica's called Jessica Heinz.

Not spelled the same. No different. But, uh, you know, I hope she'll forgive us for going the easy route. Yeah, I think she will. Uh, looking forward to meeting her. You've met her of course before. We were in a film called Seize Them. I. We were in a film called Seize Them. I say we were in a film called Seize Them.

Hollywood. Hollywood. I was there for half a day to film my scene and Jessica was a proper part and it was brilliant. But yeah, and we had a lovely meal there actually. So you know, I already know this lady can talk food. This is the off menu menu of Jessica Hines. Welcome Jessica to the dream restaurant. Welcome Jessica Hines to the dream restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. Yeah, that was a big one. Wow. Yeah, yeah, I went

for it. Yeah. Do you appreciate how much I went for that? I appreciate it, I feel very welcome. I don't do that for everyone. It's good. The clap felt like a kind of like an expulsion of bad energy. It felt like, you know. That was Ben. Oh, that was Ben. The clap, the clap and the shout. It was like, boom, it's a new day.

Oh, so when you say expulsion of bad energy, you mean we were getting rid of it rather than we were putting out into the world. Yeah, yeah, getting rid of it. Like reiki sessions. Like snaps, you know, like kind of fireworks, you know, that's the origin of fireworks, just get it all. Is it?

Yes, that's what the Chinese New Year is about, that bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, getting rid of all the bad energy. See, I'm just all just like, you know, just thinking everything that's just English. So I just think it's Guy Fawkes. James, do you know what? That's on brand. And I forgive you for that. I really do.

I mean, you thought fireworks were invented by the English? Because of Guy Fawkes. Yeah sure. I thought it was like I thought they meant to represent yeah you wish you could have done this. You wish you could have blown up the houses of parliament mate. Look at this. I think that's what they then came to mean for us in England. Yeah they were appropriated obviously into the bonfire. Yeah. Sort of.

But they're invented by the Chinese. Yeah. I had no idea. Yeah. So already this is the quickest I've learned something from the podcast. See, this would be interesting. We need to find out more things that James assumes is English. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Food based perhaps, because that's what the podcast is. Mustard, mustard, of course. English mustard, yeah. Mustard seed though, probably not English. Yeah. What? Mustard seed. Probably not English. Come on mate. The only thing that is English is potatoes, James. I think, I think you'll find. Yeah. Pretty much. I think, I think they were brought from somewhere else. Yeah. Actually, yes. You're right. Of course. Not even potatoes. I'm so sorry. My world's going upside down in my front here. I'm sorry. I'll tell you what I would like to know. Is this English? The franchise?

Well, very interesting question. It's a combo of both English and American talent. And I'm in it. It's very exciting. The trailer is fantastic. Really funny. So many great stars in it. Yeah. Um, amazing team behind it. Got Sam Mendes. The podcast, Amanda, and Nuchi as well. What can you tell us about the franchise? It's a set on the set of a franchise. So if you kind of think of any kind of Marvel universe, any superhero universe, it is a, it's set on a, on a very similar set to that, except it's not. But not based on any real people.

No, it's called Maxim. So the studios are Maxim studios and all the superhero characters are created, are fictionalized for the purposes of the comedy series. But the idea is that we're focusing on the people behind the scenes of the franchise. That's my alarm. I love it. Ten past one. Now we all needed that to know that. That's good to know it's 10 past one. Was that telling you it's time to do PR?

No. Time to promote the franchise. I can't remember where that alarm is there. It's just there and I haven't taken it off and I haven't taken it off now so it'll probably go again tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. And next I remember to take it off. Sorry about that.

The old 10 past one alarm. The old 10 past one. Alarms, did they originate in England? I don't think so. No? No. Someone else came up with alarms as well. Interesting question. Do you mean the concept of alarms? Yeah, I mean, it had to be invented somewhere. Well, I would say alarms probably came from the clock and the clock I don't think came from England. I think the clock. And I do know I have a speculative question.

Do you think people were worried about the clock in the same way that they're worried about the internet? Do you think when people actually invented the concept of time everyone like that's it the games up the jigs up Yeah, it's over. It's like can't you see what they're gonna do. It's gonna be like Sectioning off time forever and some people no no don't worry about it. Yeah, I've often thought that yeah Yeah, that there were people who probably thought we need to live in the moment time forever. And some people are like, no, no, don't worry about it. I've often thought that. Yeah. Yeah. That there were people who probably thought we need to live in the moment, but not know how long a moment is. Can't you see how they're going to appropriate the clock? Yeah, it's great. Wow. An invention.

But what they're going to do with it is then they can kind of control us and segment our lives. Yeah. And some people couldn't stop staring at the clock maybe all day long. So you've got to stop looking at that clock. Becoming obsessed. It's like, you know, Gilead is obsessed with time now because of the clock. All he does is sit there and wait till it turns three o'clock. Yeah. He loves three o'clock. It was ten past one. Yeah. Ten past one. Exactly.

I've got to say, I'm a fan. I'm a fan of the clock. Yeah. You are a fan. Yeah. It makes things easier, doesn't it? Sure. That's what they've, obviously. I mean, how could you say anything else? You've been brainwashed, like all of us. Yeah, I've been brainwashed, actually. Who do you play in the franchise? I play Steph Mundon, who is the script supervisor. And what I learnt from playing Steph Mundon is that I could never, ever, ever be a script supervisor in real life. I do not, literally do not have the brain and the qualities and the skill. It is the hardest job on set by far. It is so complicated and amazing what script

supervisors do. I learned. I mean, I've always known they're kind of amazing. They're holding every single kind of fact about the camera lens, the angle, the shot, the continuity. But like when I really kind of started to shadow script supervisors on set, I realized this is so hard. It is such a hard job. So I just was pretending obviously having gleaned as much of an idea of what the job entails. Without having to go too deep into it.

Well, I went as deep as this tiny little pea brain could go. I grasped as much of the technical skill as I could and sort of learned how to pretend, you know, sort of tippity tap tap, but it is such a complex job and predominantly a job that mostly women do, which is very interesting fact. And when you say you were shadowing, so as it was being filmed, you're following the actual script supervisor around. A little bit at the corner of my eye, just looking at them on their paths, looking at what they're doing. Sometimes trying not to be annoying, but kind of saying, what are you actually? So when you do that, what are you?

And then them very patiently and kindly sometimes giving me time. And then in other occasions kind of going, I just need to, sorry, I'm actually working. I'm like fine, sorry, I'm actually working. I'm like fine, absolutely fine. That's great. Cause then you can take that into your part of being like, sometimes you're just working and then someone asks you a question. Oh yeah.

I mean, you have to be so super focused to be keeping track of everything. Obviously now it's, it's, it's, you know, computerized now. So a lot of the information, but then you need to know how to do the tippity tap tap. You need to know how to get to the main thing. Honestly, once the script supervisor had their dog on set for the whole thing. The thing is, when you're a good script supervisor, you can bring your donkey on set and people would be like, that's fine. Because you just got to do what you've got to do. People respect script supervisors.

Do you watch a lot of franchise stuff? Do you watch Marvel and films? I have done. I really enjoy it. Yeah. I mean, I like, I think the one I really love the Thor iteration that Taika Waititi, you know, comedy versions, I feel like his are my kind of favorite, I think. But yeah, I do when it comes up. And I think when my kids were younger, I watched it more because I watched it with them. Have you ever auditioned for a Marvel film? And not known that you're auditioning for it because they give you some face. No, I kind of did do a little bit of an audition year maybe for something in Wonder Woman that

I didn't get. Does this show sort of undercut the cinematic universes of comic books? Is it satirical about them to the extent that you're worried that you're not going to be able to break your way into superhero films after? I'm not worried about anything. I'm just glad to be working. I really don't think that far ahead. I'm trying to be very much in the moment, Ed. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I'm a clock guy. Yeah. A clock guy. Oh, clocky here.. Yeah. Sorry. I'm a clock guy. A clock guy. Oh, clocky here. Oh, clocko.

I'm thinking years ahead. No, because it's not really necessarily about, I mean, it's much more about actually the kind of huge behemoth that is massive, massive, massive, expensive filmmaking. That really is the subject. So it's a workplace comedy set in the world of massively expensive filmmaking. Now are you a foodie before we get into your menu? Are you a fan of food? Well, of course. I mean, how can you not be? Is anyone not? Yeah, we have had a few non-foodies on who were just like, I just feel like I don't care. I don't think about it.

God, I would love to be that person. I would love to be just a fuel person. What do they say when they say just fuel? What does that mean? What is that like? I've got no idea. I mean, it seems to me like a completely joyless life. Wow. To be like, maybe they get joy from other things, not just stuff in their gob, you know.

But I don't know, because if you're not getting joy from that, what are you getting joy from? Yeah. Okay, there's lots of other things you can get joy from. Name one. I don't know. Not that I know of. Name one. Food and the clock. That's all I've got. I think you've got to enjoy the things that you just have to do anyway. Yeah.

Yeah. You have to sleep. You have to eat. You have to go to the toilet. Yeah. Enjoy those things. Yeah. Correct. So you're so profound. I wasn't expecting that. I thought this was more of a jokey, lighthearted. Sometimes, but it depends, you know, James is taking down a philosophical route today. The guy loves going to the toilet. Yeah. I love philosophy invented by the English. As we all know. We always start with still sparkling water.

Sparkling. If I'm out, I mean, it's a treat. Yeah. Yeah. Never sparkling at home. Sparkling at home too, sometimes with a bit of lemon in it. Yeah. How about that? How do you like that? I love that. You're slicing the lemon at home? Yeah, I'm slicing the lemon at home. You're slicing it fancy. Lemon is massive at home. Yeah. Lemon is big. Lemons are in trouble. You know, like, I've got a lot of the lemons are running scared because I'm using a lot of lemons in everything.

Take us through the daily lemon rota. Well, there's lemons in a bit of water. There's lemons in recipes. There's lemons in tea. Oh yeah. There's a lot of lemons. I think they're safe when they see the kettle boiling. No, they're not safe. You're going in that as well. They are not safe.

I started today with a celery and lemon juice. Oh, wow. That sounds gorgeous. James is in films now. That sounds delicious. Like a character in the franchise. Can I just say just celery and lemon? It was, yeah.

Whoa. That's hardcore. That must have tasted, if you don't mind me saying, horrible. It was delicious. I loved it. Celery is quite sweet. It was the second time I've had it this week. I saw it the other day and was just like, that could be horrible, but I'm going to try

it and see what it's like. Yeah. Absolutely loved it. One of those things where I already know on the way home, I'm going to tell my girlfriend how nice this is when I get through the door and it will absolutely ruin her day. It's going to be so boring. But you know, I can't wait to tell her.

Excuse me? Yeah. This is delicious. It's celery and lemon. Okay. Yeah. Great. And then today I was, I knew that the place that sells it was en route to the studio and I couldn't wait. As soon as I woke up this morning, actually Joe, Jessica, I thought of it as I was falling asleep. I thought I want to get the celery and lemon. I'm gonna get that tomorrow. Oh, I love that. and then I was so looking forward to it yeah you know so you know lemons are in trouble in my house and watch out so you bought this

you didn't make this no boy I'm not making juice well what am I a chef you know what else you gonna spend six pounds on yeah but a glass of celery and lemon yeah little shot money well spent in my book do you want to shout out where it's from? Do you know what? I knew this would happen. I got it this morning. I was walking away. I was thinking, this is so delicious. I'm going to mention it on the podcast. And then I realized I don't know the name of the place.

And I looked back and I couldn't see the sign anymore. And I was like, hopefully I won't get asked. Now the worst has happened. This is my biggest fear. I've been worried about it all day. It's 20 past one now. I know that because my alarms went off. But you know, I've been worried since like eight in the morning when I got

that celery and lemon juice. Do you, I'm just asking, do you ever eat things that aren't appropriate for breakfast, for breakfast? Go on. What kind of stuff are you thinking? I'm just asking you that. I'm just asking you that. Definitely. If there's leftovers. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. Sometimes it's what you want, right? I think anything can be a breakfast if you put a fried egg on it. Okay, good. Do you have to put a fried egg on it though? That makes it feel more breakfasty to me. Right. I don't think you have to. No. But like certainly like leftover curry in the morning. Yes, absolutely delicious. You put a fried egg on the curry. I could put a fried egg on the curry. That's great. Definitely. That's changed my life. Yeah. Or especially like I think fried eggs go very well on like Thai leftovers or something like that.

Oh, nice. Little fried egg on the top. Delicious. I love that. Yeah. I definitely, I think the other day I was on holiday, but I still was like, and I actually got this because Ed told me to, but I was in Tokyo and there was a, I was in a 7-Eleven and there's just a bar that is just an ice cream bar.

That's like covered in like wafer. And it's pretty big as well. This is my breakfast and I just bit into it and it's just a wafer all on the outside ice cream and bits of chocolate in the middle. It's like the end of a cornetto, but over and over again. It's really good. I got it for my breakfast Jessica. So that is definitely. Cause we had a bit of a thing on Sunday. So we had some people who had a kind of thing. So I made a really, really nice curry and a very big apple crumble. There was a little bit, a little bit, you know, interesting because I didn't put the apple crumble in the oven as long as I thought I had. So when it came out, the apples and pears, it was an apple and pear crumble. They weren't that mushy. They were quite crispy because I'd put quite a bit of cinnamon in and actually the crumble was just like whizzed up oats

with a bit of coconut oil and a bit of brown sugar and a bit of cinnamon. There was something very nice about it not being mushy. So I got, so that's been a little bit and there was some leftover. So that's been a bit of a feature. That's we've been having that a bit for breakfast. That's almost granola. It's almost granola, but it's cinnamon, cinnamon, apple. Yes. Of course. Of course. Brown sugar. Yeah. It's a treat. It's, it's a fun, put a bit of yogurt with it. And then it's definitely breakfast. Yeah.

There's a great, there's a great shop near, which is a, which is an amazing shop where I live, um, called Everest cash and carry, which is run by, um, the local Nepalese community in Folkestone. And they have an amazing yogurt there called creamy hole, which is, which is a sort of live yogurt and it, you can't get it. You don't get it anywhere else. I'm not sure what country it comes from, but it comes from a big pot and it is live and it is delicious. Wow. How live are we talking?

It's as alive as you would ever need it. I'm saying, you know, if you want it any more alive than that, I wouldn't know where you'd go. No, that would be so scary, man. If the yogurt was really alive, I'd be so scared. Okay, actually, I'm going to put my question on hold and just hear Ed talk about that for a bit more. What would scare you about that?

If you opened it up and the yoghurt was having a chat. All singing, all dancing. Yeah. Chatting to itself? Yeah. What would it be saying? Or like a little man-shaped yoghurt beast came out the top of it. That's an advert. You're just basically pitching an advert. It's Le Pac Man came out the top of it. Yeah. And I've basically pitching it's like a man, but with yogurt.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He came out with a trombone with a trombone saying, hello, I'm creamy hole. I mean, my question was going to be, did you get creamy hole recommended to you? No, I just saw it on the shelf and you thought I'm going to get that. Yeah.

Because of the name, everything, everything about it screamed, buy me, buy me, buy me. And I've, and I've never regretted buying it. It's delicious. And it's just lovely yogurt. Yeah. Well, so that's a good recommend for everyone. So I'm sure the whole is H O double it. Sure. But you know, yeah. I mean, I, I still imagine that's affected sales. I don't think you, you promote it on this podcast is going to help go some way to get in rid of the hurdle that they must have to overcome every single day.

I thought you meant increased sales. Are you kidding me? No one's buying Creamy Holman. Yes, they are. They're taking pictures of it at least. Maybe not a ton here, but like, this is an international yogurt. Sure. You know, something you might not know much about.

No. I'm telling you, it's selling. Don't you worry about that. Pop it up, absorb bread! Pop it up, absorb bread, Jessica Hines! Pop it up, absorb bread! I do not understand what you just said. Pop it up, absorb bread, Jessica Hines! This is what I heard James at A-caster.

La la la la la la! Okay, so you need to slow down. You need to quieten down. You need to say it again in a calm inside voice, please. Thank you for doing this. Finally, someone's done this. Could you please say it in a calm inside voice and then I will respond.

We're having a lovely discussion about creamy hull and you've shouted over the top. I heard all bread. What I did not hear was that. Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah So start again. Take a breath and start again, please. Would you like poppadoms or bread? Okay, now we're talking poppadoms. Yeah, that's a nice chat now. Always poppadoms. Thank you. I'm glad you got him to repeat it because he didn't even hear it the first time.

I had no idea what he said. Imagine when we have American guests on. How much of a difficulty they have with that bit. It doesn't go well. Do they? I say, hey, come on, I'm sure some Americans love it. They don't understand him a lot of the time and they have to look to me for the translation, essentially. Yes.

And then the rest of the episode, they're looking at Ed. Right. I'm just sitting there. I'll say stuff, but they'll just be looking at Ed. Is that where you do it? Is it your way of clocking off? It's fun, yeah. I don't have to do anything after that.

Do you want all the dips with the poppadoms? It's always there somewhere. Always the dips with the poppad you join on the dips with the poppadoms? It's always there somewhere. Always the dips with the poppadoms. Always the dips with the poppadoms. Always them. And then literally like treating the poppadom like it's a pizza, like it's a pizza, everything on all at once, then trying to kind of get it, like crunch it without it all falling apart and then scooping up the onion and all the whatever, even though

it's too hot. Yeah, that's definitely. When you say treating it like a pizza, are you doing like a base of one topping? Yeah, I'm just scattering it on there. You know, just because obviously at that point, you're so hungry. You've ordered whatever deliciousness you've ordered

and you want it and you're hungry, but like the poppadoms come and it's like, you fall on the poppadoms as if you had lean for days and you're kind of crammed. I mean, anyway you had lean for days and you're kind of crammed. I mean, anyway, this is just me and you're kind of cramming it in your mouth as if you're not expecting another amount of food that will put you into a coma. That is me in an Indian restaurant. Well, they're so delicious.

I mean, like, you know, how can they be that delicious? It's insane. It is crazy. And this English, right? Poppadoms. Yeah, that's Poppadoms. Yeah, they are English. Very English. That's what I thought. Chris, it's big Chris. Yeah. You have just reminded me actually of why I wanted to put this section in

the podcast to begin with in 2018 because of how much I love poppadoms. Someone hasn't come on and spoken to that passionately. Tell us about the first time you ever had a poppadom please. Can you tell us about that? What was your... The very first time. Can you remember it? I mean... With you, it's like always surprisingly late.

No, it wasn't late. It'll probably be like 27, doesn't it? It wasn't late. It wasn't late. No don't remember it. I mean, with you, it's like always surprisingly late. No, it's probably like 27 or something. It wasn't like, no, no, no. I was in an Indian restaurant. Or was it, was it a takeaway? It was an Indian. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't get takeaways very much. My mom would cook and then very occasionally we'd go out for a meal. Yeah. Actually, maybe it was late. I don't know, but it would have been at the Raj or the Royal Bengal in Kettering, which are like two doors down from each other. Are they rivals? Yeah, but they're the two main curry houses.

And I don't know what the building in between them is, but it must be tents in that building. Because they are both buying for all of Kettering's, like, you know, business curry-wise, and they're both excellent. You should open a curry house in the building in between. I should do, actually. Yeah.

Acaster's Curry. Yeah. Acaster's English Curries and I can just sell, I guess, poppadoms and curry with eggs on it. That's my idea. Breakfast curry. Yeah, breakfast curry. Finally, someone's going there. Yeah.

Good. But they're both great places. I love going to them equally, although the Raj are the one that gives me freebies, because I'm famous. Great. Oh, lovely. Yeah. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Yeah. Well done, man.

Your dream starter. Well, I'm just going to preface this by saying that this is sort of what I'm craving at the moment because I'm getting over this flu that everyone's had. And so I've been kind of like really craving healthy food. And so you could ask me this dream menu at another time and it would be different. So this is very much what I'm craving at the moment. You want nutrients, you want things to build up your immune system. Yeah. So my starter, and this isn't as simple as you might think, but it's lentil soup. Because I was in Budapest filming last year and there was a Syrian restaurant opposite my hotel and they did the most delicious lentil soup I've ever had. Amazing!

The most delicious lentil soup I've ever had! And I was like half to now, like, and I was eating it all the time. It was so good. And I was like, right, I really have to work out how to make the most delicious lentil soup. Lentil soup, I go, I want to eat my own lentil soup. So that's basically when I came home, I sort of tried to. And the answer, of course, as you would imagine, is lemon. It's lemon guys. It's bloody lemon. As soon as you came home, those lemons would be like, she's home.

You slam a new recipe on the side. Lemon, cumin, garam masala, maybe a little bit of ginger you might want to scrape in there, maybe a bit of garlic. You want to kind of put the lentils in with the lemon and all the seasoning and then put the water in and then you've basically got the most delicious soup that you just never want to stop eating. It's so delicious. I love it.

And how did you figure out the recipe? Did you ask them? No, I didn't ask them. You just came delicious. And I love it. And how did you figure out the recipe? Did you ask them? No, I didn't ask them. You just came back and you figured it out. Well, I just kind of looked up different, like, lentil recipes. I mean, it's like, yes, weird. I just sort of, sort of weirdly figured it out all on my own. I mean, I obviously went on the, you know, I went onto the mainframe. I went on, I went, you know, I went onto the mainframe. I went in on the internet and I did some research. But yeah, then I kind of like experimented a bit. But yeah, that is just like whenever I go

like anywhere that does lentil soup, I'm always like, I want to try different people's lentil soup because it varies obviously from place to place. But this was so delicious. This is something you've always loved then. You've always loved lentil soup. No. This lentil soup changed your mind on lentil soup. Lentil soup changed my mind on lentil soup. When I realized that the lentil soup I might have been having before was, it wasn't the good kind. It wasn't the best kind. And having then eaten this lentil soup and this restaurant had another thing called Fool, which is like fava beans and tahini and lemons again. And it was that flavor combo of like, this is all I want. It's just like that

lovely sharp lemony, tahini, spicy, just deliciousness. So yeah. So you're in that phase at the minute, your lentil soup phase. Yeah, I'm just loving lentil soup right now. The people close to you, have they noticed this and pointed it out? Oh, yeah, they love it. They love it. Because I guess you're making big batches, right? Sometimes I'm making big batches, sure.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah, that's happening. Yeah, yeah. I just think, yeah, with something like lentil soup, you're not going to make one portion, are you? I've tried to make a smaller portion, but then it's just never enough. Yeah.

So I try to kind of, I try not to over make, which is sometimes difficult when you kind of, you know, you don't know who's going to eat it. Yeah. But yeah. How much lentil soup is in your freezer at the minute? Actually none. Congrats.

No, there's no lentil soup in my freezer right now. How many lemons are in your house right now? Seven. Seven lemons. Absolutely. Not for long Ed. You better watch out. They're at home listening to this. Absolutely terrified. Quaking in their boots. Not for long Ed. You better watch out. They're at home listening to this. Absolutely terrified.

Waking in their boots. Waking in their lemon boots. Who in your, who do you, are there all the people that you know loves the lentil soup the most? Who has been like, you're going to make this every time I see you. This is so good. I think my daughter, my daughter, I've got one child who still lives at home and my daughter, she loves my lentil soup. And then Adam, my husband loves my lentil soup. And then, you know, everyone who comes in loves my lentil soup. Everybody loves my lentil soup.

What can I say? I'm not going to lie about it. Everybody bloody loves it. That's why I make it. I like this voice. I like this character. Yeah, I like this character. Good character.

Makes the lentil soup. The character is trying to be humble, but has to be realistic about how much everyone loves their lentil soup. The character is trying to be humble. Trying to be humble. But has to be realistic about how much everyone loves their lentil soup. Just being honest. That's a good cap for the character. Yeah, just being honest. Just being honest. But I did have, like when I was ordering it in this restaurant when I was in Budapest,

I did used to have like side, if I was feeling a bit more hungry, I'd have it in soup and then I would order their like Syrian Baba Ganoush, which that was a whole other level. Yeah. Cause it was a bit chunky. It wasn't creamy back in the Babu Ghanoush. It was like a little bit chunky with a bit of tomato. Do you know what I mean? Love it. Yeah. That's the dip that I could just eat the most of on its own. Yeah. Like if someone said you got to eat a dip for ages, that's a good question. That is a really good. I would go into dips. I'd would like a baba ganoush please. And I would do, I could do a tub of that. I would eat it with a spoon and I was eating it with a spoon. Cause I was eating a lot, I was working. I was eating the lent, spoon of lentil soup, spoon of baba ganoush all on my own. So happy.

Heaven. I've just been in Greece and eaten a lot of taro mats. The musical. It plays Kinniki. Yeah. I play Sandy. Oh my God. He's so good. A lot of dips. Oh, taro. A lot of taro. A lot of taro.

Oh my God. A lot of taro. They're probably different taro to the ones we get quite pinky, dyed, maybe not. Yeah, no, it's white. You like white. White taro. Yeah, proper white taro. Posh taro.

Good taro. Yeah, really good. Come on. It's good stuff. But I could eat that with ao, real taro. Really good. Come on. It's good stuff. But I could eat that with a spoon, even though it's got a real strong pungent taste to it. So what else? You're having taro in Greece? What other dips?

Ooh, there was a fava bean one actually that they were doing quite a lot. Yeah. Which I think might be a specifically sort of Santorini-in thing. Santorini. Oh, they love fava beans in Santorini. Oh yeah? Oh, sure. They love that. Yeah, they're as scared as the lemons in Jessicaorini. Oh, they love fava beans in Santorini. Oh yeah. Yeah. They're as scared as the lemons in Jessica's house. Those are the two main dips I'd say. There are a few others, but

just had a lot of, a lot of grilled fish, a lot of grilled veg. Oh yeah. It's Babaganoush, your dip. If you could, if you had to eat one dip massive, like a meal, a meal size portion of one dip. Could you eat it like a yog? I could. Do you know what? It would have to be homemade. I'm sorry. It's so boring.

So boring. But like, listen, when you do, I mean, when we make, you know, when I'm at Hermes, I do soak the chickpeas. So I soak them. In some cases I've even peeled them when I've wanted just, just for kicks. So you have to, you know, after you've boiled them and all the skin gets loose on them and then you just sort of like spend ages just like sort of, cause the skin sort of falls off them and then you, you've got this kind of like crackly load of sort of chickpea skin

and you just sort of pull it off and pull it off and then it kind of becomes so creamy. So yeah, I, I, I do like hummus. I'm homemade hummus. So good. You got to open a cafe. Yeah, I am In fact, I just literally like just right now decided yes, I'm gonna do it This point yeah dips and soaps dips and soaps. It's called dips and soaps. Yeah, soaps and dips actually We get it life gets busy But you know, fair enough, fair enough. or time. Palatine has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push, find your power. Palatine. Visit OnePalatine.ca Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Céline Dion. My dream? To be an international star.

Could it happen again? Could Céline Dion happen again? I'm Thomas LeBlanc, and Céline Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I pieced together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Céline Dion, the pop icon. Céline Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Dream main course. Okay.

You're eating this with a spoon? You could eat probably with a spoon, but you might want a fork. Because there's something that I, we discovered, we did a lot of tempura during lockdown. This was a thing that we did. And so this, this main course is a sort of combo of things, but one of the, I mean, maybe I suppose I could call it a side, but it's on the main plate, but it could also be a side. But when we were in lockdown, I had, um, a card that let me go to shop in the cash and carry, which I was registered for VAT. I didn't

think there was a problem with it. I don't know, just maybe I'm not running soups and dips yet. Maybe I'm just in the kind of R and D stage, but still I had a cash and carry card. So those were the only circumstances which my husband would let me panic buy because obviously cash and carry, that's the point of cash and caries, it's all panic buying. You know, it's tins and tins and tins of everything and they have big lots of everything. So it's kind of amazing. I've never been in one, but it's my dream to go. Oh my God. I can't believe that. It is so fun. It's so fun. So one of the things I had there was huge tubs of artichokes. So artichokes, big solid, lovely artichokes. So you would

buy it and it would seem like an expensive buy. It would be quite a lot of your bill because obviously artichokes are expensive. But when you kind of worked out how much you were playing for one tub of artichoke, literally three little slices, it worked out a bargain. You may as well. So we had quite a lot of artichokes knocking about in the house during lockdown and tempura was kind of on the menu and then I was like artichoke tempura yeah let's go there let's go there and it was out of this world that sounds

amazing it really was artichoke tempura why wouldn't why wouldn't you because it's like the way an artichoke is there's layers and so the surface area for more the way it is the way an artichoke is the The way she is. But so there's layers exactly. So that when you kind of, you know, cook it like that, it kind of holds its shape obviously, because they were really good, proper. They were kind of in brine,

so they weren't too slimy and squidgy. They were still had a little bit of crunch. They were good, kind of cured artichokes, if you like. And they work brilliantly, temporal. So that would be a feature in my main course. How big was the tub of artichokes? I think we'd all like something. Okay. Like, okay. Let me just try to think about it. Like how could I describe it in this context? I mean, I was going to say bucket, but that would be too big. So not a bucket,

not a bucket, like a small bucket, a small, a kind of a lot, a very, very large jar. So like what you feel imagine the largest jar, like an unreasonably large jar that you would never find in any shop. Vars? It depends on the vase. I mean, yeah. Small vase. So I think a few people might be listening to this and thinking that they've got a very different definition of panic buying than you have. Right.

Because you panic bought a tub of art. We all remember that part you have. Right. Because you panic bought a top of our chucks. We all remember that part of lockdown. Yeah. Where everyone went mad and bought up all the artichokes and you couldn't find any. My husband was extremely like, like strict. So we would go, we would like about not panic buying. It was like absolutely. So he was almost so worried about it that we would go shopping and I would put two bags of muesli and he would say, put that back, put one back. I was like, I think it's normal to buy two bags of muesli, but he wouldn't allow it. Even outside of a pandemic. Outside of a pandemic, I would buy two bags of muesli, but it was not allowed. I'd have to put one back.

You're having muesli every morning. You don't want to buy muesli every single week. Buy two bags. That makes sense. Regardless of the global health situation. If it wasn't for your, uh, wimp husband, how, how much, uh, you called him it. I know. No, I did not call him that.

He was vet. He was a good system square. No good citizen. So it wasn't for your good citizen of a husband. Yeah. Thank you. How much do you think you would have bought of something? Do you think you would have panic bought?

We don't want to go there. Would you have gone? No, I would have. I mean, although in some cases, when things eased, I did then buy, okay, we're still eating brown rice and, and in fact, chickpeas and in fact lentils. Do you buy the big sacks of rice. Oh, yeah, it came in boxes So yeah, so yes Yeah, I had to buy buckets so it didn't go off

But I felt like that was okay because it's not like I'm going to the shops and then clearing I was buying it from somewhere that wanted to sell Lentils in bulk. Yeah, does that does that count as panic buying? Not really. Not if you're still having it. It's not like... No. Yeah. I guess everyone who's walking around cash and carriers is probably not panicking. But I will tell you this, when it all arrived,

when it all arrived the first time, my husband was like, what is this? I said, I've bought some things in bulk from, you know, wholesaler, stuff that I think that would be useful. And he sat down, he said, I've done the calculations. If we eat this food stuff, every meal, we will still be eating it in seven years. He said, you are going to have to send half of this back. So I did. I did. I sent half of it back because it was just completely. Well, they probably thought you were like a survivalist or something.

Exactly. And to a certain extent in that moment, I felt like that's maybe what I was. So, but anyway, so I did have to send half of it back. Sure. Luckily I've learned how to make lentil soup. So that explains why lentil soup is lentil soup again. Every single dish has been things that you've panicked during the pandemic. Toilet paper for dessert. That was one thing we didn't panic about. No, that was not. I never understood that. Never understood that. So is it just the temperate, artichoke temperate?

Then, lovely, there's a thing that I started making, which is like really, really, really nice, finely, finely, finely, finely chopped salad, but with like greens. So you know when you really, when you know kale is quite a bit of a contentious vegetable, people are like, it's for donkeys, you know, um, I've never heard that by the way. No, no, no. I

think that's maybe what seconds. I've brought up donkeys as well. But yeah, so it's like really, really finely chopped. So, but you like literally almost so they're like, you're kind of turning it into, I don't know, something. Yeah. So it's not leafy at all. So you'd really, really finely chop it and finely chop it with like other kinds of fresh vegetables and there's lots of lemon in it. And it's just like a really nice chunky, maybe walnuts. Oh, yes. Are you with me on that? Maybe some walnuts? So with you. Had a little walnuts other today. Did you? with me on that? Maybe some walnuts. So with you. Had a little walnuts other today.

Did you? Yeah, yeah. For our lunch in there. Because you want that little bit of crunch and maybe the walnuts, maybe they've been baked. Yeah. Maybe they've just been put in a pan for a bit. Yeah, yeah.

Just put a little bit toasty. Put a bit of heat on them. Just bringing out that oil, that lovely and then finely chop that and mix that up and then put that with a little whatever you want really mushrooms. Finely chop some mushrooms in there a bit of lemon maybe a little bit of tamari or a little bit of soy sauce on there as well just to give it a bit of depth. Yeah, a bit of umami. A bit of umami.

A bit of umami. There she is. There she is. Glad you brought her up. Yeah. And then, and then on with that, like maybe a bit of babamusha, maybe a bit of hummus. Yeah. You need to get rid of that hummus bit. You've got to get the chickpeas in there somewhere. Yeah. Absolutely. You want some brown rice on the side? Yeah, sure. That is well.

I actually have a really like way of making, like if you brown rice obviously brown rice that's just brown rice but like I like to chop up sweet red onions and then fry them like quite a lot again bit of tamari bit of umami maybe a bit of soy sauce wherever you like bit of white miso yeah stir that in and then put that in with the brown rice and just like give that a big stir. And then that as a dish is just delicious. Yeah, that sounds good. It's delicious. It's very good. It all sounds so good.

It does. It is good. It is good. In my head, I just keep on, keep going round. I just keep nearly laughing because I'm imagining someone going, do you want some kale? No, I thought that's for donkeys. That's for donkeys. It's making me laugh.

I know people say it's for donkeys. Just imagine in your face, someone saying it. The visual would be cut too, just a very simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, simple, That's for donkeys. That's for donkeys. It's making me laugh. I know people say it's for donkeys. Just imagine in your face someone saying it. The visual would be cut too, just a very silent donkey, just chewing hard down on a kale stalk. Because they ate the kale.

I actually do chop the stalks out, okay, I was... I do. And in that situation, if I'm trying to make it like a finely chopped, like lovely raw salad, I will take the stalk. You don't want the stalks in there. Listen, if you want to eat the stalks, good. But you're a like lovely raw salad. I will take that. I will take the stalks. You don't want the stalks in there. Listen, if you want to eat the stalks, good. Do it. But you're a donkey.

Do it. You are a donkey. You could chop them up and put them in a pasta. Cause if you don't want to do with the stalks, cause you're using all of the leaves, you could chop them up, have them in some pasta with some chorizo maybe off the top of my head or something. Yeah. Not a bad idea. But that'd be good. I actually did, somebody did say about like parsley stalks are good at the end of, when you're making a little tomato sauce, you might bang that in there.

Yeah. And full of parsley stalks, bam. Pesto, you could whiz them up into a little pesto situation. Do you know what? I love a bit of pesto. Do you ever make pesto with, again, walnuts? Yeah. Do you ever make pesto with walnuts and parsley and oil and garlic?

You don't need, you know what? You don't need pine nuts. We're so fixated. Pesto has got to be pine nuts. No, no, no, no, no. Everyone says that. Obsessed. Obsessed. I mean, pine nuts are lovely. They are like the absolute sort of like the jewel of nuts. I've never finished a bag. They're too oily aren't they? I mean you can't scoff pine nuts.

No you can't scoff them. I can. Like macadamia nuts. Use them for a dish. Am I invisible? Toast them. Sorry, did you say something? Who are you?

Toast them, put them in a salad, but then they're going in the cupboard and I'm not touching them again. Yeah. Is that because you're conditioned to treat them like they're special? Well, they're the jewel of the nut. The jewel of the nut. Yeah. I mean, but I mean, obviously they're very costly compared to other nuts as well.

Yeah. Sorry, what were you saying? I've scoffed them. What, a whole bag of pine nuts? Yeah, I used to walk around before I lived in London, but I would come to London for gigs and I'd just have to kill like 12 hours a day because I'd stay around someone's house. So many of your stories start like this but with different foods. Why are you so upset and angry about that?

Well, it's a bad thing. I think they've had two years of this shit. With two years of staying around people's houses and then like, got to go to work, you've got to get out. I was like, my open mic gig doesn't start until late. So you just used to go and buy yourself a little bag of pine nuts and go and eat them in the park, right? Yeah.

Or you take them from your friend's cupboard. Wow. No, I would take them from the cupboard. No, no, no. No, you don't. You never take anyone's pine nuts. I'd get them from the shop or something, then just walk around Wolfenham, around London. Just look at free art. They don't seem like an eating nut to me. You're like a snacking nut. Yeah, for most people.

Yeah, so I'm in the right here. Well, listen, let's not put a value judgment on it. Right or wrong is the jewel of the nut. James isn't wrong for scarfing pine nuts. Just willy nilly. He's not wrong for it. He's just sharing his truth. Yes. And that's okay.

Also, I worry about pine mouth. Yeah, yeah. Pine mouth is a thing. You know about pine mouth? No. At Easton got it. I only found out about it on this podcast many years ago when we just started. You can have a bad, if you have a bad pine nut, it coats your coats your mouth with the

bad oil and then it changes the way you taste everything for ages. Yeah. Everything tastes like garbage. Are you actually kidding me? No, no, it's true stuff. No, it's pine mouth. Ed Easton got it. What the heck?

Ed Easton was in the room below us when we, when it came up on the podcast. I went and I dragged him up. It was during Ivo Graham's episode, if you want to go back and listen to it. And then Ed Easton came in and he took, very bravely shared his story of getting pine mouth. Yeah. So that's a real thing. So I'm actually scared of pine nuts because of that, especially ones that have been in the cupboard for a while.

Wow. Yeah. No, I mean, I can see that. Cause I can't be walking around and everything tastes bad. No, because then I've got nothing left. No, exactly. Yeah, he's got nothing left. God, I did not know that about pine nuts. Are there any other nuts that I like?

Not that I know of. I think all the other nuts are safe. They're not gonna coat your mouth and mess your day up, but like pine nuts are the sign of the sass. Watch out, be careful. Is there anything to look out for? I mean, how do you like in the, I mean, do they look different from the other nuts?

So for example, would you be more likely to do it if you were just wandering around a park, just literally pouring the packet into your mouth? Your dream side dish. Dream side dish would probably be fried halloumi just comes off the top of my head. Halloumi to introduce myself. Let it come off, let it come off the top of my yeah Halloumi to introduce myself let it come off let it come off the top of your head halloumi to introduce myself I've had a lot of halloumi puns. I've never heard that one. Yeah. Enjoy cuz hello me. I hear quite a lot You know, it's funny out

There are certain things the words that people hear and you just can't help but so obviously when you hear halloumi You can't help but so obviously when you hear halloumi you can't help but hear in your head. Yeah, a halloumi to introduce myself. Someone told me the other day that they can't look at alien Broadway without thinking about feeling horny. And unfortunately, because of the way podcasts work, there will be a large amount of people listening to this now who then will have the same thing. Yeah, that will happen.

That will stick in. They'll just go in there. Yeah, with both halloumi to introduce myself and the feeling of horny. Halloumi is something that I think that's why I could never not, I could never, like I could never not eat fried halloumi when it's really delicious and juicy and like crispy on the outside and it's got a little bit of whatever dip, but obviously essentially it would be the sweet chilli sauce. That would be the main thing that you'd want. I mean, I think so, right? We've been very anti-sweet chilli sauce on this podcast. Yeah, I'm still anti-sweet chilli sauce.

Wow, okay. Let's go there because I need to catch up. Because that's how they serve it. Nando's as well with sweet chilli sauce. Okay, and you don't like that? No, I don't touch it. I just like the halloumi. Okay, why Ed? I can just go straight, just straight halloumi. Yeah, but why? Sweet chilli sauce, you may as well have a tub of jam.

I think it's too sweet. Wow. I feel like there's almost nothing chili in it. It's just pure sweetness. Wow. Kind of feel the same way. But halloumi to introduce myself. What would you have with that?

What would you prefer? I'd go normal, just straight halloumi. If I'm having Nando's, I can do like a hot sauce with it maybe, but I could just eat the fried halloumi. So here's the situation, okay? Like maybe, but I could just eat the fried halloumi. So here's a situation, okay? For example, just hypothetically, there's a lovely big plate of fried halloumi. They're perfectly crispy, little ones that are a little bit joined, the cheeky ones that

you'll go for is a little bit bigger, delicious, fresh, still a bit squidgy, glistening. They're glistening. There's a lovely big tub of sweet chili sauce in the middle. You're telling me. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. You're telling me. Yeah. You're gonna go up to that plate of loomie. You're gonna pick up a piece of that sweet, juicy, salty cheese and you're not gonna dip it in the chili sauce. I'm not going near it. What planet are you from?

What is going on there? Why? Why? I just don't like sweet chilli sauce. I think it takes away from the flavour. Take us back, talk us through it. When did this happen? Well, when did sweet chilli sauce first become big?

Probably the 90s? Yes. Yeah. So it's probably back in the 90s. A lot of kids were really into it. Yes. And it just wasn't my, it wasn't my scene. I thought I'm a bit more grown up than this, you know? Okay. Is it because it was sweet? Did something happen? Well, it's just like to me, like having melted down Haribo's

and sweeties aren't my thing. I'm not into sweeties. I don't have a really sweet tooth. You are, cause you like sweet jelly so much. Wow. Oh, hallowed me to apologize on his behalf. He should not have said that. You're a guest on this podcast. So when did you stop liking sweet things?

Oh, so I'm type one diabetic. Okay. But I don't think it has anything to do with that. I like sweet things. I eat desserts, I enjoy sweet, but I don't like pure sugar sweet things. I don't know if that's connected to my type one diagnosis, but also I just think it's a shame. I like spice and I feel like the sweetness in the sweet chili sauce is

Outweighs the spice too much. Do you think it's a bit patronizing to the chili? I think it's patronizing to the chili. I think that uh, people eat it. They're like, oh i'm having chili You're not you think that's what people are thinking you think You lot people eat it, they're like, oh, I'm having chili. You're not. You think that's what people are thinking. You think, you lot are eating the sweet chili sauce and going, I like spicy things. You don't, you're eating jam. Maybe they're just eating it. Maybe they're just not thinking, I like spicy things. They're just enjoying the sweet chili sauce.

That could be happening. But it has not in its head. Yeah. Because the thing is, is I wouldn't normally have sweet chili sauce on much else. But when it comes to a fried halloumi side, with sweet chili sauce, much else. But when it comes to a fried halloumi side with sweet chili sauce, there's no way I'm not going to dip that halloumi in there. There's just no way.

Yeah. See, I'm not even going to dip it. I had some halloumi fries recently at a festival. How were they? They were really good. Do you know what I dip? I got a dip. Okay. Yeah. What was it? Garlic mayo. Okay. How do you feel about that? I feel that is a fantastic idea. Yeah, it was it? Garlic mayo. Okay. How'd you feel about that? I feel that is a fantastic idea. Yeah, it was. That was good. I didn't know what that okay signified. It

was double dairy, which felt weird. I double dairy you. I loomed me to double dare you. So that was good, but there was sweet chili available and I didn't dip. Do you know what is delicious is real mayonnaise, like homemade mayonnaise, like actual mayonnaise that isn't and I feel like- Someone panic bought eggs in the pandemic. That was hollandaise. That was the hollandaise. That was the hollandaise months.

Exactly. But yeah, no, I can see that. Yeah. Like, oh, lovely. I mean, a lovely good mayo. I mean, who's not what, what is not to love that. I'm going to counteract what I said a little bit here. Isn't that a bit cloying though? Sorry.

It was a bit. It was a bit claggy. Wow. Okay. Thank you for, thank you for admitting that. Thank you for being honest about that. Hello me very much. What? Well, I was trying my own one. Hello me very much. Yeah. And hello to you too. Have you been to Boubala? No.

It's amazing. What do they do? It's been to Bubala? It's amazing. It's a vegetarian restaurant in Soho, but they do one of their starters is this whole block of fried halloumi. And is it black seed honey or something? Oh my God. So that's, you know, it feels, see that, I feel like I'm going against my own point there with sweetness, but it is absolutely delicious. Yeah. I'm not. We're singing from the same entry here. Yes, that is phenomenal.

Yeah. It's really, really good. Black honey on a chunk of halloumi. I mean, that is like, I'm saying yes to that. It's not sliced or anything, so it's just one block, but it's like perfectly fried. You got to go. That sounds amazing. Yeah.

That sounds amazing. We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Peloton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push. find your power. Peloton. Visit onepeloton.ca Your dream drink? I don't drink alcohol. So my dream drink is different because obviously

in every situation, sometimes it's an alcohol-free beer, which there are so many brilliant ones. They do amazing. And every year it feels like there's more and more brilliant. I couldn't believe when they brought out alcohol-free Guinness. It was just like, it was like a gift to be able to go into a pub and have a lovely big and I, because I haven't drunk for seven years, I've even forgotten what a real pint of Guinness tastes like. So for me, it was just like, it was heavenly. So I love drinking alcohol-free beers or different kinds of alcohol-free

beers, but might I make kind of, yes, and maybe it's alcohol-free Guinness. Maybe I should go there. It is good. It's good. It's good stuff. But in a meal situation, you see, that would be more like if I was going to go to a pub or go to a pub lunch, we'll just be there. I would have alcohol-free Guinness if they have it. But like with a meal, I mean, I love, I love a sparkling water with a bit of squeeze of

lime, limes. I know limes have not had a look in. The lemons just relax. Yeah. That's the sound of seven lemons breathing a sigh of relief. But I love, I got into it. In fact, the lime, I did go in hard on the limes actually during lockdown again and like really, really kind of moved into limes and actually I've not really revisited limes but in a sparkling water, properly like half a squeezed limes, bit of ice. I mean that it's literally the thought of it is making my mouth water right now. That is just the most delicious drink. So delicious.

We probably haven't had this happen on the podcast before, where for someone's water course, they've chose sparkling water with lemon, and then for their dream drink, they've chosen the sparkling water with lime. And loads of lime. Like proper lime, loads of lime. So you're like, you've got a little bit of,

that is so delicious, that drink. You are never gonna get scurvy. Congratulations. Guaranteed. You know people still can get scurvy. I'm sure, yeah. Sorry, that's such a stupid thing to say. Really apologize, I'm so sorry. No, it's good to raise awareness.

You're using your platform for good there. Thank you. You should be doing that. Thank you, thank you. And scurvy doesn't get talked about enough. No, it doesn't. Outside of sort of nautical history. I think you should have all of those drinks.

I think you should have the sparkling water with the lime, but I think you should also have at some point in your meal, the alcohol free Guinness. I think that even if it's just at the end or something. But maybe not altogether, but another drink I love is lassi. So I love like salty lassi or a mango lassi. So my idea of a really lovely bit, that's kind of now we're getting into pudding territory here, is to have like a lassi but with fresh mango. So no added sugar, just like fresh mango whizzed up with like kind of kefir like whizzed up. Like that is a delicious drink.

So maybe this is a bridging drink from your main course into your dessert. Yes it is. Respect. Nice to have a bridging drink. Yeah it is. All those drinks sound great and you deserve all of them. So we found a place for each one of them. We got some alcohol for Guinness during the lockdown.

What? I put champagne in mine. No, I put Prosecco in it. Yeah, black velvet. Did you know that in Dublin during the lockdown, there was a Guinness van. There was a van that was taking Guinness house to house. So you could have it poured from the barrel. You could call up, they would drive up and they would pour the Guinness from the barrel

out the back of the Guinness van in Dublin. And then you could have a nice poured pint of Guinness during lockdown. So civilized, isn't it? That's lovely. It's a lovely story isn't it? It's Ed's favourite drink pretty much. Is it Guinness? Oh I love Guinness. He would have liked that a lot. I absolutely love Guinness. It's amazing stuff. It is amazing stuff. And from the back of a van during lockdown? Well yes because of course you know obviously I only drink it from a can because I drink non-alcoholic Guinness now and obviously you can get it from a can with a widget. But a lot of people would say that the poured Guinness in Dublin is the most delicious, which I'm sure you would know. Have you been to Dublin?

Yes, I've been to Dublin and it is delicious. Is it different? I'm not sure I pick up on the nuances. So there's plenty of places in London I really enjoy Guinness, but it's also the surroundings. You're in Dublin, you're near the factory. So it's good to see the factory while you're drinking something. Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

I feel like that about Ribena. Your dream dessert. Now you've already said that you don't have a sweet tooth. So I'm a bit nervous because I do have a sweet tooth. I absolutely, even though I don't like sweet chili sauce, I love desserts. I love puddings. Is this something that would have to go with the meal? The sort of absolute mess of the meal I just described. No, it's completely up to you.

It's just whatever you want, honestly. Like no one's judging you for... And remember you've got that lussey there as a little bridge. Yeah. As a little bridge into something else. Into sweetness. So it'd be a shame to go and do a savory dessert. Well, I do love, I mean, I mean, I feel so boring saying something like fruit, like papaya or like mangoes and things like that. But papaya is just like so delicious. I mean, I mean, I would love to have that as a pudding, but it is a bit boring, isn't it? Just having a little bit of that, oh, that lovely pink papaya, you know, when it's just so delicious and like, and it's, it's kind of rare. It's

not unusual fruit. It's kind of, it's kind of exciting. It's a different kind of a fruit. So I would like that like sliced and also, and like fresh mangoes, it was so delicious and feels like a true, a treat fruit. So could So could if I just kind of go into something and say, I would love treat fruits, like fruits that you don't normally have, like a Sharon fruit, or maybe like a dragon fruit, maybe an assortment of treat fruits that you have to go to a special shop to get. The exotic, this more exotic side of fruits. The exotic side of fruits. Yeah, I think that's probably a probably of saying that. That would be my absolute like,

oh yes, because then, you know, it's just everything is delicious. What the listener can't see if you're only listening in audio is every time Jessica said treat fruits, she had a body movement for it. Yeah. Treat fruits. Yeah, yeah. Both hands. Yeah. Treat fruits. Kind of like, bit Tommy Cooper. You know what I'm talking about. Treat fruits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. But I love a treat fruit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love a treat fruit. Yeah. Yeah. I love

a treat fruit. Something that you wouldn't get maybe normally in your box. Yeah. Sure. In your fruit box. I think fruit box. The banana is obviously not a treat fruit. Do you love a banana though? It does feel like a treat every time. The banana. Yeah. One thing I would love to have, I guess, I guess, and this is a sort of segue, and this is a nostalgic pudding, is a banana split. Oh yeah. I mean, for me, having a banana split is like the absolute,

I mean, as a child, that was like the ultimate treat. If you got a banana split at the end of a meal, ow, like that was like the best day of your life. You know, like a banana split is just that and then the cream in its own special bowl, in its own special bowl, bit of sauce, bit of whipped cream, bit of something on it. I love it. I mean, I love it. Who doesn't, why aren't we having, why aren't there more banana splits? Yeah. I was going to say, I feel sorry for the people who really thought banana splits would last

forever and made the bowls. They must have be the company that were like well banana splits are gonna be popular forever So we're gonna create going to business We're gonna get us going to business and create a whole new bowl cuz everything else you can just use for other stuff Yeah, what you're using banana split bowl apart from a banana split. Yeah, that's all we use it for I know that that what a sad day for those. Yeah. Yeah That that that what a sad day for those. Yeah. Yeah. They go, what do you mean?

No, no one's been on this place anymore. Why not? They say they're for donkeys. They want bananas. I don't know. It feels like it'll be the next trend to come back around. Maybe let's make it happen. Yeah.

I'm so up for it. Well, you've got soups and dips. Soups and dips and banana splits. Soups and dips, banana splits. Welcome to my restaurant. You have to be at the door to welcome us like that. Welcome! Is the full name soups and dips, banana splits, welcome to my restaurant? Yeah.

Because that would be great. If that was the full name. Yeah, that's the advert and the full name. Yeah. Yeah, I'd go to soups and dips, banana splits, welcome to my restaurant. Cause that would be great. If that was the full name. Yeah. That's the advert and the full name. Yeah. Yeah. I'd go to soups and dips, banana splits. Welcome to my restaurant. Yeah. Welcome to my restaurant.

Absolutely. Gonna do it like that. Yeah. I mean, I do think I would fully go in business with someone who was opening a banana split place. Yeah. Like a hatch. That just did banana splits. I'd invest in that immediately. They're quite difficult to eat on the move on the move though, a banana split.

I would say. Yeah. So it'd have to be a seated. I think it would have to be seated. There's a YouTube video of somebody who makes like banana, like pancakes, I think in street food somewhere in Thailand that I've somehow popped up on my feed and that I've kind of, I don't know how, like, cause I'm not on any social media, but I maybe some sort of food algorithm. Is this your YouTube?

When I go on YouTube, uh, this, like, it's just, for a moment, I thought you were saying it pops up on your feed, but you don't have any social media. Well, I'm not, I'm not drawing in on anything. So it's just coming up in front of your eyes. It just sort of comes up on my phone. Yeah. But it maybe it's. Is it your husband texting you?

The search is no. Yeah. You're telling me I didn't ask for this. But they have like little banana, that I would like to try one of those. Banana pancake, yeah. It's like banana pancakes. Yeah.

But I've seen like, she makes a sort of like stretchy pastry with a bit of, you know, so it's fresh every morning, the stretchy pastry. And then she kind of stretches it out, puts it in this big kind of massive, big wok and fry and then slices in the banana. Oh, that's good.

Folds that up, puts that in a little tray and then puts a bit of, I don't know what it is. It looks quite sugary. It looks like it could be some sort of condensed milk kind of style, something like on the top of that little slice banana. I mean, and that's a, I mean, I would like to try one of those one day. I would like to try one of those little banana pancakes one day. I think that's a, that's a good goal in life. Yeah. One day. I'd like to try that banana pancake. Banana pancake. Yeah. That's a,

I've had to go to Thailand, but I've no objection to that. I've never been in the dream restaurant. I've never been. My friend's getting married in Thailand. Love Thai food. I've got a plus one. Great. You wanna come? Okay, sure. You can come along, get you those pancakes while we're there.

Great. I love Thai food. Thai food, I did learn once the basics of the Thai. So I just thought, actually, once you get the Thai ingredients, you put it on anything,'re it's instant Thai joy. Can you tell us a secret? Oh, well, it's, it's coriander, chopped coriander, lime, fish sauce, garlic, a little bit of chilli oil.

What? I think that's Thai basil, lemongrass, chopped lemongrass. No one has ever said, cause it's a podcast. It means that no one can really appreciate that who was listening, but no one has adopted that pose. We've got a, we've got, we've got a video of it. So we'll try and put that out somewhere. No, it was no, you were like that. You went like this. So you had, you had your hand on your hip, like, like I'm a little tea cup, but also your hand on your chin with your elbow just as far out as your other elbow was and extremely straight back posture. Yeah. Yeah. And it

was, it was, we were trying to think of what's in the tie. It really helped. Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was great. You look like a sort of wax model of an inventor. Yeah in like a living history museum I think that's a compliment. Yeah, like if they did another night at the museum Yeah, you'd be like come to life as an inventor. Yes thinking about something about Thai ingredients Yeah, I don't read your menu back to you now. See how you feel about it Okay, you would like sparkling water with lemon. Oh, thank you

You want pop it on with all the dips, put them on there like a pizza. Starter, you would like lentil soup from the rest of the place in Budapest, but also made by yourself. Could be, but obviously that would be ideal if they could provide that. Yeah. Oh yeah. We can sort that out. I guess that's Syrian lentil soup. Yeah. Syrian lentil soup starter. Main course artichoke tempura along with the finely chopped green salad and walnuts baba ganoush and hummus.

Yes, oh god delicious. Side dish fried halloumi with sweet chilli sauce. Oh come on. Drink sparkling water with lime and then you're gonna have a lussey to bridge yourself over to the treat fruits. Yes please. Did you want a banana split as well? On there?

Do you know what? Just as it's a special occasion, yeah. Yeah. Banana split with some treat fruits around. Yeah. And then we'll send over. Just to get some, put me to sleep. Yeah.

Then an alcohol-free Guinness at the end. Oh wow. Maybe a little while after it. After a lot of that suggestion. Maybe in the pub afterwards. Yeah. So I've done, had a bit of a walk around, gone to a pub, alcohol-free Guinness. Who would you want to go to the pub with. Yeah, so I've done had a bit of a walk around gone to a pub alcohol-free game

Who would you want to go to the pub with in the dream? Um, just everybody what? Everyone's invited whoever obviously I was out with what do you mean? Like just you mean literally or in a fantasy world? Your dream. Well, yeah, obviously in the fantasy world, we're not making you go to the pub now. But like you're going to the pub now and have your Guinness after your dream meal. All of my best friends and my family. That would be great. Yeah, that's a good. Who's your best friend? Who's your best friend? One. Well, one best friend. Okay, okay, listen. I've got a lot of people I love in my life. My oldest friend is my friend Siobhan who I met in primary school. And she has told the story that she said, she was new, we were like four.

And then the teacher said, oh, Jessica, you have to look after Siobhan. And she said, I basically just took that literally. And was like, so in my mind that was like, oh, for the rest of your life. So that's how I took on that responsibility very heartily. literally. And was like, so in my mind that was like, oh, for the rest of your life. So that's how that I took on that responsibility very heartily. So now, now we're still friends, still best friends. Perfect. That's great. Perfect companion. That's great. I want to see a film of that. Yeah. Or a sitcom. I've got some good pictures of us. We were super cute. Would she have an alcohol free Guinness with you? Yeah, she would. She might have

a little bit of a red wine. Maybe, maybe, maybe she might not have an alcohol free Guinness with you? Yeah, she would. She might have a little bit of a red wine. Maybe, maybe. Maybe. She might not have an alcohol free Guinness. It's a particular tip or alcohol free. I think alcohol free Guinness is somebody who probably really liked drinking in the past. I feel like that's probably a bit of a giveaway.

Yeah. Yeah. And that many sounds absolutely delicious. It does sound great. And thank you so much for our burps. Right, fantastic. Wow, that's good. It's normally me wraps the episode up.

James has tried it for the first time. Whoa, I can't burp on cue. No, that wasn't on cue. That wasn't on cue. I hope it wasn't on cue, because it's very rude. Can anyone hear burps? Basically, I decided not to hold it in at the end, because I thought I've already done a little bit.

The rule of comedy. Let it out. Let it out. I'm not proud of it. If there's a burp in the works let it out Benito looked like he was going to cry yes he looked at me absolutely so upset because he's got headphones on yeah yeah yeah yeah nice one thanks so much for coming to the dream restaurant Jessica an absolute pleasure thank you for having me there we go wonderful stuff there's so much stuff I wanted to ask and I forgot it. I've just remembered all of it. Oh no. Tell me. Ask me. I wanted to know if there's a film

in the works of her team on Shaun of the Dead. People have been asking about that for years and years. They want there to be a film. I'm guessing not. It's been quite a long time. Yeah. But it's the anniversary of Shaun of the Dead. It would be absolutely brilliant. Yeah. It'd be brilliant if it was that team. Maybe there's another zombie outbreak. But wasn't the joke that they look exactly the same and they're having the same experience but crossing paths? So wouldn't it be the same film

with different actors? Just do a new one now, like do a second zombie outbreak, but you follow her gang. Who else was in the gang? Matt Lucas, me, Shearsmith, Martin Freeman, and Tamsin Greig. Yeah. Well done. Maybe there are other people on it in that group, but I don't know. No, that seems right. I wanted to ask her as well about when she, her and Simon Pegg hosted a benefit show for

when the tsunami happened in early 2000s or mid 2000s at the Apollo and you could buy it on I bought it on DVD watched it at home. Johnny Vegas got absolutely smashed and his set is bedlam and in the edit like Jessica's to come out and get him then go Johnny it's over now so I want you to know how long he did on the night what the panic was like. I wanted to know all about that because yeah, this is before I became a comedian and watched it and it blew my mind that this thing had happened and then released it. Yeah. And I found that fascinating. Yeah. And I've met him a few times, but don't want to ask him no about that. He won't remember. No, but I definitely wanted to ask Jessica and

I've completely forgot to do it. Yeah. So I have to get her back. I'm kind of glad you didn't ask her that. Really? Yeah. Why? I liked all the food chat we had and stuff. Yeah, actually. I mean, I know regrets about the things we did talk about. I was laughing throughout.

She's great. She's so funny. She's absolutely brilliant. And she didn't say Heinz baked beans, of course. No she didn't. Welcome to my restaurant. She did say welcome to my restaurant. She said that kale's for donkey.

Yeah. A lot of great things. Yeah. Um, so everyone should obviously, if you want to hear Jessica say more great things, watch the franchise. Watch the franchise. Sky comedy and now. And now, um, do you go and watch that?

I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go and watch it. Um, audition for it. Of course. Rightfully didn't get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The proper actor who's been in like Christopher Nolan films. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And Joe, what it was an honor to be up for the same role. I'd seriously considered as much as he was seriously considered as much as he

was. It means a lot to me that they, that I, you know, I'd imagine you auditioned in between them sending the email, offering it to him, and then there was like a day just before his agent replied, and that's when they did your audition so they could just fill in a bit of time. Yeah. Benito's just got out to take a phone call. So for the listener, we've been left completely... The monkeys are in charge of the bus.

The monkeys are in charge of the bus. The monkeys are in charge of the bus. And we're going straight to Foolish Town. Here's how to have so much to edit out. Now, quick little announcement before it gets back. If you want to win a signed chopping board, buy the great Benito. All you have to do is tweet the off menu official Twitter saying hello. That's all you got to do. If you tweet hello, and there all you gotta do. Yeah.

If you, hello. Tweet hello and there's no time limit on this. Yeah and Benito will get in contact with you. Yep. Get your address. Yep. And he will sign the chopping board and send it to you. Open ended.

It's open ended. So this never expires. Yeah. This offer. Oh and here's something else you need to know. Yeah. The great Benito has skid marks. All over his pants?

Yeah. Whoa. I had, we has skid marks all over his pants. Yeah. Whoa. Ed, we said we weren't ever going to reveal that. Yeah, but I didn't ever think the monkeys would be in charge of the bus. The monkeys are in charge of the bus. That guy's got skid marks all over his undies. I know everybody knows about it. So listen, if you want to win two chopping boards, you tweet, hello, full stop. How are you? How are those skitties looking? But he's a, but he's a, yeah. And then hashtag the monkeys are in charge of the bus. That's two chopping boards.

That's two jobs. If you want to chop him, what if you want just one, you just tweet hello and that's fine. If you want to it's hello. Full stop. How are those skitties looking? But he's a hashtag monkeys are in charge of the bus. Thank you very much for listening to the off many podcasts. We, I think it's that button that you press, James.

Yeah, I'll press this button. Yeah. ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Céline Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Céline Dion happen again?

I'm Thomas Loblot and Céline Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I pieced together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood, available wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. It's Sarah and Cariad. Do you want to say your own name? Yeah.

It's Sarah and Cariad from the Weirdos Book Club. And we're very excited to announce our incredibly special guest for our live show as part of the London Literature Festival. We are going to be joined by the absolute megastar that is Dame Harriet Walter. You'll know her from Succession, Killing Eve, Ted Lasso and we are very lucky that she'll be there to discuss her new book. She speaks what Shakespeare's women might have said. Harriet Walter has reimagined what some of Shakespeare's women might have been secretly thinking and lets them actually speak their minds. We're so excited. It's on Saturday the 2nd of November and you can get tickets now from southbankcentre.co.uk or plosive.co.uk.

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