Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 281: David Tennant

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the chicken breast of friendship, stuffing it with the garlic butter of humor and breading it with the breadcrumbs of the internet. Then we pop it in the oven of Plosive Productions and let the butter all drain out. So you've got a big empty chicken breast, Joe Wilkinson style. Nice little shout out for Plosive Productions. Yeah, baby.

Starting point is 00:00:36 During that, doesn't often happen. No. That is Ed Gamble, my name is James A. Castor. Together, with the help of Plosive Productions, we own a dream restaurant. And every single week we're inviting a guest and asking them if they ever start a main course dessert side dish and drink not in that order And this week our guest is David Tennant a global treasurer A global treasurer, I mean one of the few doctors throughout history. I thought you were commenting on the state of the NHS

Starting point is 00:01:01 No This is not the podcast for that. Nish would sue us. Oh, absolutely. Take us to court. Yeah, very excited to have a doctor we've had on the pod. Third? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:13 Second? No. Are you thinking of doctors generally? Dr. Magana. Magana and Pocock, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely counts. She would be a good doctor.

Starting point is 00:01:21 She would be a brilliant doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. On Doctor Who. Yeah Make it happen people. Fourth then if you're gonna say that. Huh? Cox? Professor. Professor? Not Professor Who. I'd watch that. I'd watch Professor Who. What a great spinoff. I just assumed he had every title Oh, yeah. Yeah, when you get to Professor does that mean like you're a doctor? You're still a doctor? Yeah, you can do whatever a doctor does.

Starting point is 00:01:46 Sure. Yeah. Still do those things. He is a doctor. Yeah. He is a doctor. He is a doctor. We've had four doctors on this is the fourth.

Starting point is 00:01:53 I'm sure there's, we've had a few people on with like honorary doctorates from places as well. Yeah, maybe, maybe we should look into, I mean, I'm sure our devoted listeners can pick us up on this and tell us. Well, David, we are very excited to have him on. He is the second Doctor from the Doctor Who franchise in history that we have had on. Yes, but he's been in so much. There's so many iconic roles over the years.

Starting point is 00:02:18 We're very excited to have him on. And also he has a podcast called David Tennant Does a Podcast With, which is back after four years, available on all major podcast platforms are the first two series of David's pod were hugely popular This is gonna expect the same intimate chatter. They have come to know and love you're doing it like an ad read What I love it. He's got so many great guests coming up Stanley Tucci Jamila Jamil Ben Schwartz Russell T Davis and there's an episode where his wife interviews him. Georgia. Georgia.

Starting point is 00:02:47 Interviews him, which is very exciting. And as we, what? Benito's written a bit here. Yes. That he wants us to do as the outro. Yes. So we won't spoil that for you, but just so you know. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:58 Stick around. I can't wait to say that later. Yeah. If an interview with one of Britain's greatest actors is not enough to make you stick around, James and I in the outro will be talking more about David's podcast without him here. And speaking of not having David here, if David has, if David says, and has a secret ingredient, if he has upon his person a secret ingredient, which we deem to be unacceptable, we will kick him out of the dream restaurant.

Starting point is 00:03:24 And this week week the secret ingredient We've pre-agreed upon is Tenants tenants a pint of tenants a can Scottish lager Yeah, if he chooses it and this is just because it's his surname by the way I don't know if he is gonna pick it very unlikely Yeah Be curious to know what his relationship with tenants is if you don't drink it if your surname is tenants you're like I can't be bothered with that. Well I hope you remember to ask that. I'll try and remember that I've got a lot in my head that I

Starting point is 00:03:50 want to ask him. Yeah of course. When we have actors on these are the ones that you look forward to the most because your version of interviewing an actor is saying things they've done at them. I don't soon. I'm I'm who knows what I'm gonna say. You're gonna keep your powder dry. I might keep my powder dry We'll see how dry my powder is at the end of this. You are the wetest powder I've ever met There's a lot of stuff I had planned Well, we'll see we'll see how dry I keep my powder. This is the off menu menu of David Tennant. Welcome David to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you very much. It's lovely to be here.

Starting point is 00:04:35 Welcome David Tennant to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. Thank you very much. I appreciate the sound effects. Thank you. Yeah, thanks David. It's good sound effects this time. James is a genie, so I'm sure you knew that from the...

Starting point is 00:04:46 Yeah, which is what the lamp's all about, right? Well, there you go. Exactly. Pretty good lamp, would you say? You've been in many theatre productions. I've never been in a production of Aladdin, if that's what you're getting at. But it's a good bit of scenery, right? It would be fine from a distance. I'm a bit close to it. it's not really giving me metal. It's giving me one single use plastic is what it's giving me.

Starting point is 00:05:09 We're getting a lot of use out of it though. So it's more than single. Yeah, we don't have a new one for every episode. That would be very wasteful. Yeah, but I guess it's a use being looked at because that's really all it's been used for. Good question. We've used it multiple times. It's just sat there and people have looked at because that's really all it's been used for. Good question. We've used it multiple times.

Starting point is 00:05:25 It just sat there and people have looked at it. I suppose in an audio format we could just be imagining it as well. Yeah, that's true. This is terribly wasteful. It's really wasteful completely. He bought it in one day and by he I mean Benito. And we were a bit like, I mean, we thought that doing a podcast meant we didn't have to do stuff like this.

Starting point is 00:05:42 Yeah. And buy physical things. You feel you feel prop free. But there you go. Front Rover theatre that you're not believing that are you? No, but about four rows back it's fine. Yeah. Have you ever been in a play or seen a play where there is a proper bit of scenery or

Starting point is 00:05:56 something where it is particularly not convincing and you've had to either suspend your disbelief as an audience member or as an actor, really, really try and convince people that... The problem from an acting point of view is when props don't quite deliver on the function they're supposed to do and you're having to actually spend more time working around the prop so that it can be convincing to the audience. That's when a prop is least functional, I would say. Right. Yeah. And that happens quite a lot because, you know, I mean, this lamp would be, does it have a, oh, it's got, oh, it's got a hinge. It's got a hinge and an interior. I can work with this. I know I've slagged it off,

Starting point is 00:06:36 but actually I'm fine with this. As a prop goes, this is giving me all I need. Cause at least it opens up. You'd have to slightly fake the weight. Yeah, of course. Cause it have to slightly fake the weight. Yeah, of course. Because it's, I think the word is flimsy, but I could, you know, it wouldn't take too much to sell that to the audience. I'd say. You've been Hamlet, right?

Starting point is 00:06:54 You've done Hamlet. I've done Hamlet. There's no genies, lambs and hamlet. But you got skull like, you got skull. How heavy were that? We had a real skull. Wow. Yeah, we had the skull of a real human.

Starting point is 00:07:05 A guy called Andre Tchaikovsky, who was a classical musician who had left his skull to the Royal Shakespeare Company to appear in a production of Hammer. So I did not have to fake any weight there. I was holding Andre. He was Yorick. Wow. The first time you had to do that, you had to pick it up in rehearsal. Did you just go straight in? Yeah, fine. Or were you like, I don't know if I would have.

Starting point is 00:07:27 Oh, I was really, really thrilled about it. Not in a macabre way, because that's what it's about. That moment in the play is about connecting with mortality. So if you're actually lifting, there's no acting involved. You're looking into the eyes of a human who once walked the air for something very powerful about that. Could you looking into the eyes of a human who once walked the air for something very powerful about that. Could you see yourself leaving any of your bones to theatre? Very happily. I'm here again in a production of Hamlet, playing a different part.

Starting point is 00:07:53 Yeah. I think that would be something glorious about that. Yeah. I'll be awful if you left your skull to the Royal Shakespeare Company and it was the understudy skull. Oh, yeah. Imagine that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:03 That would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? To be honest, I don't think you canstudy scale. Oh yeah. Imagine that. That would be embarrassing wouldn't it? To be honest, I don't think you can do it anymore. Because Andre had done it. I'd left it and it had gone through all the various, there's a lot of hoops to jump through for various government, governmental organizations who perhaps frown on the idea of body parts being left to do anything other than cremation. So I think the laws have now changed that Andre is probably the last person who's going to be able to have done that. But his skull is

Starting point is 00:08:31 still there. He can be used in future productions of Hamlet. Well done Andre. Yeah. Or does it have to be Hamlet? If I wrote a new play and I just wanted there to be a skull in it, could I get Andre's skull? That is an excellent question to which I do not know the answer. I don't know how specific his will was and I don't know whether the specifics of that have any kind of legal ramifications. So I can't give you the answer, but I'd like to be able to.

Starting point is 00:08:53 What's the Janet and Alan Alberg book about the skeletons? Yeah, yeah. The lazy bones is it? Yeah. What are they called? Lazy bones maybe. They live in a dark, dark house on a dark, dark street. Okay.

Starting point is 00:09:04 Those guys and their family of skeletons. Maybe Andres could be in a live production dark house, on a dark, dark street. Okay. Those guys and their family of skeletons. Maybe Andre could be in a live production of that. That's actually no reason why not. Although I'm not in charge of. There's a lot of skeletons in that. That's why we've got you here today David. We've written a production of Lazy Bones. I think the problem there is that there's a lot of skeletons in that. That's true. If only one of them has a real skull. The Royal Shakespeare Company does own other skulls.

Starting point is 00:09:24 Oh great. From historical productions. Brilliant. of them had a real skull. Even more difficult. The Roche's company does own other skulls. Oh great. From historical productions. Brilliant. David Garrick's skull, I think, is not David Garrick himself. The skull David Garrick used is also in their collection because I used it at the dress rehearsal because Andre hadn't quite had all his boxes ticked by the various authorities. So in the dress rehearsal, I used the old skull that was in the, that came from the

Starting point is 00:09:44 store and I dropped it and a bit fell off. Oh wow. Let's talk a bit about your podcast. David Tennant does a podcast with.gons. Which I assume you then, the guest's name. The guest name pops up. We've got a list here of loads of guests. Look at some of these guests.

Starting point is 00:10:02 They're pretty great. But obviously my favourite is the final one because there's a typo, but Goldberg, Olivia Colman, John Ham, Michael Sheen, Sarian McKellen, Jodie Wittaker, Dan Levy, Dame Judy Dench and Billy Pipe. Yeah. Billy Piper wasn't free, but Billy Piper was excellent. Billy Piper, the plumber. Wonderful plumber.

Starting point is 00:10:27 I mean, there's some sort of professional jealousy here because we've never had any of these people. No, not a single one. We've not had any of them. I've talked to. All right. Okay. I've been in a room with one of them. Right. Okay. Which one? Sheen. Sheen. Sheen's not done this? Sheen's not done this. Sheen's not done this. I've talked to Sheen on the movie show, the movie panel show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoopi Goldberg walked past me once. We had Steve-O from Jackass on and everyone said he sounded like Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah. Interesting. So a little bit of crossover there, but that's the closest we've come. What can people expect from the new series? Well, we've got Stanley Tucci, who I think you've had here. We've had the Tucci. Yeah,

Starting point is 00:11:11 you've had the Tucci. Yeah. Jimena Jamil, we've got Russell D. Davis. Fantastic. And also I get interviewed by my wife. We've done that. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. She got your wife on the podcast. She got a wife. Yeah. Thank you, mate. Cheers. Yeah. Has she ever interviewed you? No, she's not interviewed me. We've done some sort of podcast together where we've been interviewed at the same time, but I find it very vulnerable and exposing. Because she's there knowing all your lies. She knows everything. He said really nice things on that podcast. Which one?

Starting point is 00:11:46 The one where it was, you'll do? Yeah. Yeah. You said lovely things. Said nice things, yeah. Cause you know, it was very nice to see that side of you. Cause she was pinching you really hard. But the background feeling is always, she can make me look like a total Wally right now.

Starting point is 00:11:58 Yeah. Yeah. Well, being interviewed by Georgia was a little bit nerve wracking cause I didn't have any idea where she was going to go with that. And she really gone, she'd done some research. She discovered things about me that she didn't know as well. That was crazy. Yeah. Which I think she felt she was both thrilled with and a little bit alarmed that there were some quite major pieces of biographical detail that she was unaware of. That's great. Oh, well, we definitely got to get your wife on now. Okay. If she

Starting point is 00:12:25 can find out stuff that she didn't even know. All right. Well, I've said my wife can come on if your dad comes on. Never going to happen. I'm going to have his skull on here. Well, if you keep doing this for long enough, we'll be coming up with a choice. See if my dad will donate his skull to podcasting. Put that in the lamp. Contact him. I don't know if he would do that. Are you much of a foodie David? Do you like food? I do like food. I mean, it's certainly something that I indulge in fairly regularly. Yeah. I do. I do. I like it and I get very excited by it. Yes. I wouldn't claim to be an expert. No. I think that's fine. I think we like getting some here who are passionate about food and they're excited by food, like

Starting point is 00:13:07 you say, but we don't need someone to be an expert at all. Yeah. Well, it's exciting and it's exciting to go to, you know, if now and again you get to go to one of those restaurants everyone talks about, that can be very thrilling. And then also slightly sort of, what is that it? Yeah. Food. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:23 A bit of food. What does that give you? Oh yeah. The phone. That's the one that gets most people's backs up. Yeah. A bit of foam, what does that give you? Oh yeah, the foam. That's the one that gets most people's backs up. You'd think they would have come up with a different term for it so that we don't get so annoyed. Yeah. Because they know how expensive it is. Espuma.

Starting point is 00:13:36 I hear a lot. Espuma. Espuma. That sounds biological. That's not nice. Yeah, it does. But that's foam as well, essentially. Sounds like something football hot.

Starting point is 00:13:44 That's very unactivating. I don't think I'll think of foam as well, essentially. Mmm. That sounds like something football hot tub. That's very unoptimizing. I'd rather take my foam, I think. You prefer foam to a spuma? I prefer foam to a spuma. Yeah. Jesus Christ, that sounds like jizz. It sounds exactly like an ejaculate. Yes.

Starting point is 00:13:58 You'd prefer they said jizz? Just say jizz. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A spuma of heron. Yeah. It's arrogant jizz. I nearly bumped into a heron once. Did you? Walking along a canal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:14 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Heron. It was so bold. It was like in Manchester and clearly like, you know, tough Heron doesn't really give a shit about humans. Don't give a fuck. Yeah. Especially Manchester Herons. Sure. They go in a vest. Then he walked into it. Then he walked into it. What would have if I hadn't looked up in time? Cause that Heron wasn't going to move.

Starting point is 00:14:37 You just had to- I had to swerve it. And I said- Stock still did it. Sorry mate. What did it say? Well, yeah. He said, fuck it, don't do it again. He said, I love you What did it say? Well, yeah, it said, fucking don't do it again.

Starting point is 00:14:45 It said, I love you. This is my time pass. No, you're not, mate, carry on. He's talking at voices. Are we herring in our back garden for a while? I mean, for a while, for like an hour or so, it just landed in our back garden. And we went, fucking herring in our back garden.

Starting point is 00:14:59 They're big things. Quite intimidating. What was it doing? Have you got a pond or anything there? Nope, nope. It was just stoating around. Just, I don't know. It got diverted and it landed for a bit and it just was like, this is where I live now. And we did, none of us would venture out to go close to it. Maybe it was a paparazzi in disguise. Think about that camping out in your back garden.

Starting point is 00:15:20 Yeah, it could have been a pap. That's a good disguise for any p to listen to. That's put a whole different colour on it, hasn't it? Yeah. The tabloids have really gone crazy now. Yeah. They're dressing the paparazzi up as herons. Oh, God. Walking around the garden, can't believe it, they're just all looking at me through the window. This is perfect. This is the best idea we've ever had.

Starting point is 00:15:42 Let's get into your menu. We always start with still still sparkling water, David. Still. Yeah. I don't understand the point of sparkling water. I don't get the, you know, not something I encountered as a child. So now when I have a fizzy liquid in my mouth, I'm wanting it to taste like some sort of fizzy pop. And if it doesn't, it just feels like something's gone wrong with it.

Starting point is 00:16:07 I don't enjoy the sensation for the sensation's sake. I completely relate to that. Yeah. I think you're right. I am right. Definitively correct. Do you have a favorite fizzy pop? And I'm setting you up here to like be destroyed by your countrymen if you say the wrong answer.

Starting point is 00:16:21 Yeah. Well, I don't mind a bit of Iron brew, which I think is where you're going. Yeah. I do like a bit of Dr. Pepper. Yeah. I think I would probably, if I had to land on one, I'd land on Dr. Pepper. And that is also like a soft drink that people can't really pin down what it is, what flavor it is. Is it the same camp? Yeah. Yeah. They're similar. I love a Dr. Pepper because no one's really having a daily Dr Pepper, are they?

Starting point is 00:16:45 It's something you remember exists when you're in a shop and you're like, I've not had Dr Pepper for ages. I suppose, yeah, I suppose. And then it's a treat. Some people really loathe it. You get quite violent reactions. Some people react to Dr Pepper in the way I react to dandelion and burdock. Yeah, sure.

Starting point is 00:17:02 Or palma violets. Things that should not be put in a human's mouth. Yeah, I hate palma violets so much. Disgusting. My kids love them. Really? What is that about? Where have they got that from? Your kids 90. Yeah. No, it's like they've rediscovered them for a new generation. Is it big on TikTok? A palma violet is big on TikTok maybe? Quite possibly, yeah. Yeah, could be someone popping palma violets on TikTok.. Absolutely disgusting. Horrible. Little slivers of soap. Yeah. Yeah. I remember getting some fruit. The first time I had them were free with the beano. Oh yeah. They always get away with the beano. Free with the beano? Yeah. The beano would have like sweet. Cellotape to the front. Yeah. So like, you know, but I was lulled in because like, you know, I was

Starting point is 00:17:43 having stuff like refreshers on the front of the beano. Wambars. Yeah, Wambars is brilliant. Parma violas, oh, what's this one? This one looks delicious. Wambars are the ones with the little fizzy bits inside. Yeah, lost the tooth in a Wamba. Yeah, great. Did you really? Yeah, I didn't. I swallowed it because I thought it was one of those bits.

Starting point is 00:18:00 Swallowed the tooth. Yeah, swallowed the tooth. Didn't realize until later. And did you have to make sure the tooth came out the other side? Or did you just forget about it? No, I didn't actually. Just forgot about it. It didn't even occur to me at that age and luckily I didn't have parents who told me to,

Starting point is 00:18:12 if you want that from the tooth fairy, you're going to have to sift through your own feces. So you just missed the tooth fairy. I think- Well, you looked in the toilet one day and there was a quid in there. Yeah, yeah. The tooth fairy doesn't mind getting dirty, you know.

Starting point is 00:18:23 Little shitty hand prints all over the toilet seat. Yeah. Yeah. Tooth fairy doesn't mind getting dirty. Little, little shitty hand prints. You can get a quid, but you do have to get your own shit. I think I'd, I'd probably get the quid later. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I think you're at least washing it. You're at least washing it, aren't you? You're not going to wash it straight under the pillow. Oh, I hope not. Buy 10 wambars with that.

Starting point is 00:18:44 And then you lose another 10 teeth. I mean, this is this is a money making scheme. I don't mind sifting through my shit. By the end of it, I'm a millionaire, I think. Do you want anything in your store? Water? You want some ice? You want some? I can take the ice. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 00:18:57 I know I don't need a slice in that. I'll have a slice in my Dr. Pepper. Thank you. A slice in the Dr. Pepper I've not I don't think I've heard of that before. That's crazy. There's so much going on in that Dr. Pepper, so busy and you've added a slice to it. Obviously we're so used to getting, you know, a Coke or a Diet Coke in a restaurant and they're popping a slice in, but no one's serving Dr. Pepper in restaurants. Sure. They do in America sometimes. Do they? Yeah, yeah. You can find a Dr. Pepper, you

Starting point is 00:19:19 know, in the same, in the same list as your Sprite, Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper. And they're popping a slice in there. I think they probably do, although now you're questioning it. I'm wondering if I made that up. He's in your head. Yeah. I've got in your head, David. He's going to get in your head. I warn you now.

Starting point is 00:19:33 I was telling you, he's going to get in your head, this guy. Okay. No, I think water just, it's there to be water, isn't it? And yeah, you can cool it down with some ice. Otherwise you can leave it alone. But do you want some Dr. Pepper on tap as well? Dr. Pepper on tap would be a lovely thing in life, wouldn't it? We could have that. Is Dr. Pepper the thing, if you had an extra tap at home and one thing could come out of

Starting point is 00:19:56 it, is Dr. Pepper the thing you'd want on tap all day as well as water? Obviously we still give you the water tap. Cold water, hot water, third tap. Gin and tonic? You have a gin and tonic tap. Perfectly mixed. A perfectly mixed gin and tonic. That'd be lovely. Yeah. Yeah. Pop-a-dum-zorp bread! Pop-a-dum-zorp bread David Tennant! Pop-a-dum-zorp bread!

Starting point is 00:20:13 And bread. Bread because there's a variety of options there. A pop-a-dum, I've never really got a pop-a-dum. I don't really know. It's sort of a crisp, isn't it? Big crisp. Big crisp. It's like a big crisp. I don't particularly enjoy. It's sort of a crisp, isn't it? Big crisp. It's like a big crisp. I don't particularly enjoy the things it comes with. I mean, they're all right, but let's know and again, I'll have a poppadom and I'll, I'll pile all the little bits of stuff on

Starting point is 00:20:32 and I'll do that. But bread, I'm never going to turn down. And there are such a variety of breads available. There's only, you mean you get poppadoms or you don't. It's quite binary. Well, there's poppadoms. there are spicy poppadoms, I guess. We've been educated, yeah, during this podcast, but I mean, Jamie Oliver was on the pod and brought in a variety of poppadoms. He brought in poppadoms. Yeah, loads of different ones. Yesterday, actually, I went for a meal

Starting point is 00:20:56 at an Indian restaurant and they just brought out a basket. It was loads of different poppadoms. OK. It was fantastic. But normally when you think of poppadoms, you think of the curry house. There's such a wide variety of things I might expect. And a slightly warmed bread with some lashings of butter just melting in the middle. What sort of bread is your absolute dream bread? I don't want to be limited by...

Starting point is 00:21:18 You want all bread? I want all the bread. We haven't had anyone do all the bread before. We've not had someone exploit the all the breads all the time. I want all the breads all the bread. We haven't had anyone do all the breads before. We've not had someone exploit the all the breads all the time. I want all the breads all the time. Yeah. I do like something maybe that's quite like either a roll or a sort of cross section from a baguette

Starting point is 00:21:34 that you can open, that's warm. You can open it, you can put some butter in that. You can seal it back up and let it just cook away. And then you pull it apart and it oozes slightly. That's all pretty great. How about this, if you want all the breads all the time? How about you have bread that can regenerate into a different into a new type of bread like like the doctor? Like magic bread. Like the doctor does. Let's have magic bread. Yeah like the doctor. Yeah. So like you can change

Starting point is 00:22:00 into the next type of bread. But you eat the bread. Yeah. Yeah. And then when does the regeneration happen? It appears again in your, in your bread basket. Yeah. For me, that would feel like I wasn't getting anywhere, you know? Yeah. You eat the bread and then it regenerates. It feels like a horrible curse.

Starting point is 00:22:14 But if it regenerates, there's a different one. Yeah. I mean, one of them come- Like the doctor, I know what you're saying. Yeah. One of them will come back very briefly. Yeah. I think there are other things that could be more like the doctor. I think

Starting point is 00:22:25 if you're looking for a doctor who reference, I don't think this is your best work. I think we can do better. Well, believe me, there's going to do every, every course and we'll leave the one in that works. Yeah. Fine. Yeah. No, we'll leave that one. That was a good one. He did this when we had Capaldi on as well. It didn't work. I need a second doctor. We've had on second. Yeah. Capaldi, Capaldi and then well. It didn't work then either. Right. You're the second doctor we've had on. Second? Yeah. Capaldi. Capaldi. And then me. That's it. That's the end of the list. Yeah. We'll see if we manage to get any more, but like, you're the second one.

Starting point is 00:22:53 I'll have a word. Who would you like to land next? Gatwa. Sure. Yeah. Whitaker. Sure. Smith. Smith. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:01 Any of them? Any of them. Because we've been working through now. Is there any others that were alive? Yeah. Of course there are. Eccleston. If your doctor was a type of bread, what bread would the doctor be? Stunning question.

Starting point is 00:23:12 Thank you. That's an excellent question. That is an excellent question. What would you do? We've got there in the end. Oh, that's the sort of question you need a lot of preparation for. I do not have an immediate answer for that. We can come back to it at the end. Let's come back to that at the end. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Great. I do not have an immediate answer for that. We can come back to it at the end.

Starting point is 00:23:25 Let's come back to that at the end. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Great. I love it. I might have to email my answer in like weeks time. Yeah. I have to consult with Russell T Davies and see where he's going. Yeah. If we don't get to it, go and speak to Russell, then we will record your answer from the email and edit it into the episode.

Starting point is 00:23:41 Brilliant. You do it in my voice. Yes, absolutely. Okay. Thank you. Met Russell T Davies? Yes. You do it in my voice? Yes, absolutely. Okay, thank you. Met Russell T. Davies? Yes. Has he been on the podcast? No, no, met him after. We were just at the same bar together.

Starting point is 00:23:52 He said he enjoyed my performance at Lars Pinfield. Right. Let's get into your menu proper now, David. Your dream starter. Yeah. I am going to go for Escargot. I love a little plate of snails. I love the plate because where do you get them?

Starting point is 00:24:12 Where do they come from? That's a good point. I love the ceremony of it. I mean, basically, it's just a vessel for eating garlic butter. But I love the procedure. I love the delivery, that odd little plate, the little tiny weird fork that you never see any other time in life and the schlucking them out. I love it.

Starting point is 00:24:31 Yeah. You're only ever going to get that in a restaurant. You're never going to make that at home, are you? Well, why would you have the plate on the fork at home? That plate, so we're talking about this, it's often like sort of earthenware plate with like the recesses for the shells. What else are you going to use that for? I don't know. Where would you buy one? Have you ever been in a shop?

Starting point is 00:24:50 There must be. And seen an escargot plate. There must be like a snail shop or something. I guess there must. Snail shop? Yeah. Listen to what you're saying. What are you saying?

Starting point is 00:25:00 Specific snail shop. There's loads of shops in London specifically for certain things, right? There must be a tiny little shop maybe. You think there's a little snail shop in London somewhere? Yeah, you can buy the snails, you can buy the plates. I don't think there's a sole shop because that's not existing for very long. No, that's true. But maybe it's a whole... It might be a section of a shop.

Starting point is 00:25:17 Yeah, a little snail corner. Yeah. But it's not like if you get Escargot from a variety of restaurants, it's not like you get the same plate twice. Those plates feel quite bespoke each time. Yeah. If you had one at home, you're not using it for snails every day. You're not eating snails every day. No. Because also I don't really know where they get the snails from. Sure.

Starting point is 00:25:38 I don't know. Are they just going out into a back garden and hoofing them up or are they farming snails? Yeah. I've never looked into it. I've never really quit when the snails arrive and I'm going through the protocols, which I enjoy so much. I have to stop myself thinking about their Genesis. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:55 Doesn't really make sense. I hope there's a farm. I hope they're not just going out into a park. Do you breed snails? It's got to be a small farm. You must do. I mean, it sounds like a process that would take a long time. Yeah. Really a long time. Come on. Whenever you're ready. We've got another order coming in. We've got four left. They don't seem interested in each other. You never get many though,

Starting point is 00:26:18 do you? When you buy them in a restaurant, you get maybe six. Six I think is pretty much it. Six is pretty standard. Yeah. But that process of getting a little fork, getting them out and then pulling them out of the shell. Yeah. Yeah. Some people I think would be very grossed out by that. Some people are. I've ordered them in restaurants with people who've been pretty grossed out by them. Yeah, and it's the swimming in the butter and then you get a little bit of bread on the side to dab it all up with. Because then you're dipping this butter in the little bits of the plate as well. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the little, those little grooves just contain all that goodness.

Starting point is 00:26:50 What a treat. I mean, I've had snails before and I like them. I'm not one of those people who get grossed out by them, but you have made them sound delicious. Good! I don't think that like anyone listening to this will be like, oh God, I think you might have converted some people listening. Good. Like, I want to try this now.

Starting point is 00:27:06 Oh, you definitely should try it. You know, apart from the garlic butter is just so more some, isn't it? But yeah, but the whole, the, the, yeah, but it wouldn't work without the snails. Like it's great. But if you just got little bowls of garlic butter, that wouldn't be as good as getting the snails. You need the snails. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:24 The ceremony is the process. Yeah. The text, the texture is nice as well as getting the snails. You need the snails. And it's the ceremony, it's the process. Yeah. And the texture is nice as well. The texture is lovely. Slightly meatier than a mushroom. Meatier than a mushroom. Yeah. Meatier than a mushroom, less meatier than a steak. There we go. I think we're going to need to start doing- That could be their tagline. Yeah. TV ads for snails, the snail board. You know, when you see an advert and it's

Starting point is 00:27:42 just for like, we did one for broccoli. It wasn't for a particular company. It was just for broccoli. That was a weird day. Yeah. And you see an advert for milk. You did an advert for broccoli. Is that because it was tender stem broccoli? Yeah. Which is a trademark. See, we didn't know that going in. We were very surprised. Who knew that?

Starting point is 00:27:59 Yeah. Yeah, that's very good of them. That's when you know, you've got a good product on your hands that no one even knows that's a brand name. But now I know that. Yeah. If you look at a packet in the supermarket, it's got a little trademark next to it. The word Tenderstem. The truth is they're big in the podcast world, aren't they? Because we've just done one for our podcast as well.

Starting point is 00:28:13 Have you? I think Tenderstem are moving into podcasting in a big way. This is great. Really clever of them. Yeah. Yeah, because we're all talking about it. Yeah, yeah, here we are. We're all amazed.

Starting point is 00:28:21 Disgusted. Why are we going to have it for Broccoli? That's it. So Kendrick Lamar did a song last at the end of last year. And the first lines were World Cup looking for the broccoli. And everyone was talking about that online and there were memes and everything about that. So I don't know if Tenderstem got in there. Obviously he's not talking about actual broccoli.

Starting point is 00:28:38 And then he's talking about weed. Is he really? Yes. Thank you for helping me with that. Which I don't know if there's, if we dealers have a tender stem variety of that. So like you want it tender stem? For a second I thought you say, I don't know if we dealers have it. I thought you were confessing to be a drug dealer on a podcast.

Starting point is 00:28:59 I might have to talk to my fellow dealers about this. How would you feel if James? That was a very, that D. Yeah, we need to do that. to my fellow dealers about this. How would you feel if James? That was a very, that D. Yeah, weed dealers. That D could have really changed things, couldn't it? I don't think there is a drug dealer in the world who would use the phrase, weed dealers.

Starting point is 00:29:15 You know, they're very much lone wolves. Yeah, weed dealers in this job of ours. I could maybe get away with being a weed dealer. Absolutely not. I'd still like be illegal, but I feel I could get away with like, if I became a weed dealer, I don't think I could sell to like, on the streets just selling weed to people. I think everyone would buy it from me. But like, I reckon like there's certain people in the world of show business who are like

Starting point is 00:29:42 above me who would buy weed off me. Well, because they'd see you as some somehow safe. Yeah. You could trust the product. Yeah, you're not going to sell them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I know that I'm not going to be able to sell it to the average Joe on the street.

Starting point is 00:29:56 They're not going to look at me. They're going to look at me and think I'm a nut. Let's get onto your dream main course, David. Yeah well, at the risk of being a bit of a cliché, because I'm Scottish, I don't know if you know, I would... A lot of people don't. No, well I... The amount of people who've said to me, I just realised David Tennant's Scottish. I am.

Starting point is 00:30:22 I am fully Scottish. Yeah. That's the biggest compliment as an actor, where the public discover who you actually are and go, what the hell? Yeah, I suppose that is. Yeah, I'll take that. Yeah. Pretty good. But I am Scottish. Yes.

Starting point is 00:30:34 And I've always loved about Haggis. I've always been a Haggis fan. And it used to be very much where you'd have it once a year on Burns Night, and it came out of a plastic bag, and it was as it had been a sort of peasant kind of food from way back. Now, if you go to, or particularly, I mean, any sort of posh restaurant in Scotland now will have haggis on the menu. It's become a delicacy and it will be served in a variety of exciting ways. Now you'll get a haggis in a scotch egg or you'll get

Starting point is 00:31:09 a haggis in a whiskey cream sauce. You'll get a haggis sort of drizzled on something else, a bit of a, you know, a cut of chicken with some haggis stuffed into it or enrobing it. You know, words like that are being used to describe it. Exactly. The espuma of Haggis is being spunked all over Scotland. And I love all those dishes. So I would have something like that, some sort of high-end Haggis recreation. There's a lot of things, it turns out there's a lot of things you can do with it. So something maybe in a, maybe in some sort of whiskey cream sauce, because that has a kind of echo of the peasant food from which it came, something like that.

Starting point is 00:31:50 That would be my main dish. Haggis is so good. I mean, I've really, really got into Haggis in the last few years. And you're right. You see it in so many different places. Yeah. Yeah. I, but I remember having Haggis for the first time at home.

Starting point is 00:32:04 My mum bought some haggis, but it was like in that it comes really tightly packed in plastic. And then you just, you boil the whole thing for like 40 minutes or something. The most fun you can have in food is then pricking the plastic. It's fantastic. It goes crazy. And at Burned Supper, that's part of the ceremony. It gets brought out on a platter. There's the toast to the haggis, which has to be proclaimed to the room. And then with a big old knife, at a certain point in the poem, you stab it and let it all ooze out. Oh, that's great. Have you ever been the person, I mean, as an actor, you must have been the person reading

Starting point is 00:32:41 the poem on a burn's knife. I've never done toast to the haggis. I've done other things at burn's suppers. Yes, but I've never done toast to a haggis. I've done other things at burns suppers. Yes, but I've never done toast to a haggis. What are the other roles at burns suppers? Oh, come on, let me remember. There's the, there's the Selkirk grace, which is some he meet, we can't eat, some he meet, they want it, but we he meet and we can eat. So let the Lord be, thank it. That has to be said before the dinner begins. There's the immortal memory where someone gets up and does a bit about Robert Burns. There's the toast to the lassies where somebody gets up and talks about how

Starting point is 00:33:09 great women are and then reply to the toast to the lassies. Which is basically, I think has become in a slightly more modern times, a woman doing something back basically, doing a speech back. But I think I'm right in saying that's a fairly modern invention because it used to be that women weren't supposed to speak, obviously. And then what else would there be? I think I'm probably forgetting something. Toast to the Haggis, Circus Race. And then there were a couple of people who will do recitations of Burns poems as well. Yes.

Starting point is 00:33:43 Obviously. Do you toast the Haggis or the lassies first? I think, Oh God, I don't know if there's a strict protocol. Okay. Cause I'm a lassie and I'm saying they're going, they've just toasted the haggis before me. But you toast the haggis before you eat. So I think that probably is first.

Starting point is 00:33:59 I think you have to toast the haggis, split haggis up, it's taken back to the kitchen to be put onto plates. Then there's the Selkirk grace. Then you eat and then during the kranachan and whiskey, somebody, the speeches happen I think, but I'm struggling to remember, it's quite a long time. I didn't know about any of that. I knew about the toast to the haggis, but I was unaware of the, all the other business. That's great. If you were going to do your dream Burns night, who are the Scottish actors who are doing all of those different roles.

Starting point is 00:34:25 Oh yeah. Can I have Sean Connery doing something? Absolutely. He would probably be quite good doing the Toast of the Haggis. You want to see him wielding a blade, don't you? Yeah. I'd want Connelly probably doing the immortal memory because that's potentially the most boring bit. Right. So if you get someone who is funny just by opening their mouth, I'd have him. Silk at Grace is very short. So I mean, you could have, I don't know, who'd you fancy? I'll do that. I'll do that because it's quick. It's very little

Starting point is 00:34:57 power ratio. Toast to the lasses. I don't know who would be good for that. I quite like to see Brian Cox in there somewhere, I think I think probably that's probably going to be entertaining. And then the reply, I don't know. Who would you want? You'd want some, God, I don't know. Do you want to email the answer and we'll drop it in later? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:15 That's a pretty good idea. Yeah. I can't wait for the email follow-up episode for this. I've never been to a Burns Night. Now I want to. Yeah. I want to very much be great. You could do a sort of live podcast version of one.

Starting point is 00:35:27 That would be good. Are the English welcome at Burns Night? Depends which Burns Night you go to. It depends what compadres you're sitting down with. That's the thing really, because I imagine the best Burns Nights would be the ones where English people aren't welcome. That would be my instinct. Or they're there as collateral damage for the speeches.

Starting point is 00:35:46 Any Burns Knight that is like, yeah, you can come if you're English, that's probably shit. That's probably posh English people who claim to be Scottish because they own somewhere in Scotland. Yeah, maybe. I grew up next to Corby. Do you know Corby? Not well. I mean, I've heard of the Trouser Press. Yeah, years and years and decades, decades ago, Scottish people moved there and it's in the middle. So now everyone who lives there has a strong Scottish accent and no one outside of there

Starting point is 00:36:17 really does. Wow. And it's quite a, it's quite odd. And so growing up, about with the rival town to Kettering was Corby. And they absolutely terrified us. Because of their accents? Well, they used those to their advantage. They didn't let them go to waste, David. They'd come in, come in to Kettering and announce themselves on a Friday night and you get someone

Starting point is 00:36:39 running to the pub going like, the Corbarians are here! Wow! You'd all have to run and hide. The Corbarians, that's brilliant. And was there sort of fights and stuff? Oh yeah, back then it's not as bad anymore. Now it's just more of a joke rivalry. Right.

Starting point is 00:36:54 And like it's all very lighthearted and fine. But there's still lots of Scottish accents in Corby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're very proud of their heritage. So like yeah, there's a lot of Celtic football tops as well. Right, but sort of second generation presumably are not speaking with Scottish accents. No, no, they're still speaking Scottish accents. Wow. This is like a weird little...

Starting point is 00:37:10 Yeah. That would suggest they only speak to their parents. Yeah. Yeah. And to other families who have Scottish accents. If you've still got the Scottish accents. Or they're surrounded by a bunch of towns and villages that they hate. Yeah. Oh, so they're doing it as a... They don't want to be like any of us. Yeah. Yeah. A little villages that they hate. Yeah. Oh, so they're doing it as a protest. Yeah. Yeah. A little bubble community. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is fascinating. This is a documentary.

Starting point is 00:37:31 Just do it. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like you guys could be at the helm of that documentary. Definitely. We could be at the helm of that documentary, me and David. I'm taking David on a guided tour. I'm getting beaten up in every scene. You're dealing a lot of weed as well. I'm dealing weed to whoever I can. Getting my ass kicked for the privilege. And then going and talking to David about it in A&E. Yeah. They're doing the Burns Nights speech and stab you instead of a haggis. Yeah, yeah. They're getting kept in boy. It's a new part of the seven buddy and Corby. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:01 But you'd be welcome. So we're having a haggis dish. Yeah. Some sort of fancy haggis dish, some sort of fancy haggis dish. Some sort of fancy haggis dish. Haggis with a whiskey cream sauce. I think so probably. And it probably does need to involve neeps and tarties as well. Yes. The traditional. I think it has to come with neeps and tarties.

Starting point is 00:38:15 I think it does have to come with neeps and tarties. Yeah. Do you want those in a fancy way or do you just want the traditional? I sort of want the chef to surprise me. I want to kind of, it's a bit like Ready Steady Cook. I want to give the chef the ingredients and say, bring out something wonderful. Who was the Scottish chef on Ready Steady Cook? Nick Nairn. Nick Nairn. Yeah. I was on it with him.

Starting point is 00:38:34 Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. That's exciting. Yeah. My dad was a big Ready Steady Cook fan. Yeah. When I first started doing Doctor Who, I remember they said, are there any things, you know, when we start to publicise the series, are there any things you'd like to do? And I said, can I take my dad on Ready Steady Cook?

Starting point is 00:38:48 And they went, sorry, what? Can I take my dad on Ready Steady Cook? And they sort it out. So me and my dad went on Ready Steady Cook. Nick Nairnworth, particularly, he was great. I used to love that show. It was great. I loved it when they...

Starting point is 00:39:02 Just the thing of tipping the bag out onto the Yeah, let's see what you've got tipping it out. Yeah, so disrespectful fantastic Budget was like a fiver or something. Wasn't it? It was something it was a tiny. Yeah. Yeah And was it delicious you remember it being I was some of it was delicious and so I mean they did have to just Magic some stuff up pretty quickly. I don't know how much of a heads up they got. Cause very quickly they were going, I'm going to do this. I'll do, I'll get some espumatou and I'll do that. And it was all quite impressive.

Starting point is 00:39:32 But as I went in to taste one of the dishes, the chef I was with whispered in my ear, that's not good, don't eat it. So I think there was a certain amount of television trickery going on as well. That's not good, don't eat it. With your whiskey sauce, is there a certain type of Scottish whiskey? No, it doesn't need to be whiskey. It can be anything you like. I'm saying whiskey as a nod to the traditions of Scotland.

Starting point is 00:39:58 I don't actually care. I'm very happy for you to be free with that and just to come up with. Fair enough. Hagggis is your base ingredient. Yeah. Do with that something wonderful and bring it to my table. Thank you. This is the dream restaurant.

Starting point is 00:40:11 We can bring you a haggis dish that surprises you with every mouthful. Oh, come on. That's lovely. It regenerates. It regenerates. Ah, there we go. Like the doctor. Each time.

Starting point is 00:40:21 Like the doctor. I see where you're going with that. Thank you for that. I'm glad we got there in the doctor. Yeah. I see where you're going with that. Thank you for that. I'm glad we got there in the end. People go, all the fans of Doctor Who are really, they're like, he's called the doctor, not Doctor Who. Yeah, that's true. And if I was ever the doctor, God willing, I would be the first one who would, I think

Starting point is 00:40:39 in the first five minutes when they say, Hey doctor, I'd go, please call me Doctor Who. Wow. I would absolutely like piss everyone off. That'd be my catchphrase as the doctor would always be, please call me Dr. Who. Call me Mr. Who. Yeah. Dr. Who was my father's name. Definitely. I'd like to say. What would you wear? I feel that's a big decision. It's a big decision. It's a big decision. Yeah. A comedian called Jack Barry once did an Edinburgh show where he wore a suit covered in cannabis leaves and I think I would bring my weed dealer persona into the doctor. Wow.

Starting point is 00:41:15 I think you'd get, you'd struggle to get that past BBC compliance. I'll be absolutely honest with you. It could just be blurred out for the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you always had a cool, quite a cool outfit. I was very proud of it. Yeah. Yeah. Because you always had a cool, quite a cool outfit. I was very pleased with my outfit. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:26 Yeah. But it was a big part of the decision. Whereas Shooty now, of course, has just gone, I'll wear a different thing every episode. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, yeah, I mean, bold. Well done, Shooty, because he looks kind of great. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:37 So, you know. Is it a big decision that you've got? Do you have a few meetings about it? Oh, yeah. Endless meetings. Yeah. A lot of back and forth. A lot of, we forth, a lot of,

Starting point is 00:41:45 we went to a sort of costume house and just tried everything on. Finding shapes and then materials and oh yeah. Our friend Tom Neenan, who's a brilliant comedy writer and also a very, very big Doctor Who fan. Right. He claims, listen to this, I'm not sure you know this. No, I'm listening to this as well.

Starting point is 00:42:02 Okay. That he met you once in a train station. Okay. And came over to say hello and you were very nice. Okay. Thank goodness. He always wears suits. I was wearing sort of like a safari looking suit. Okay.

Starting point is 00:42:13 And you said, Oh, I like your suit. Right. A couple of months later, I think your cast maybe after that, or you, your, your series starts, you were in the exact same suit. What in Doctor Who? Yeah. Well, he thinks he addressed me. He thinks you saw his suit and went, I want to wear the suit of that guy I met in the

Starting point is 00:42:30 train station. Wow. Wow. That's not, I know where I got the suit idea from. Yeah. I don't think it was him. Unless I was subconsciously that was probably having a big influence. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:43 Almost certainly was. Where did you get the suit idea from? Jamie Oliver was on Parkinson wearing a suit with trainers and looking really cool. And it's not that I copied that suit, but that's definitely where the idea came from. Yeah. Nice. We copied his boxer shorts. We did.

Starting point is 00:42:59 Really? Why did he show you his boxer shorts? He just started talking about his, he'd found a new brand of boxer shorts he really liked and he wasn't being sponsored by them. And he was like, oh, they're great because they've got like a pouch at the front that carries everything. And he really needs that pouch. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:12 Oliver needs his support in his pouch. He said, it's like angels carrying your balls or something. I think he said that. And we were like, oh, that's great. Thanks, Jamie. We can talk about food now. And then we did the podcast. It was in his offices.

Starting point is 00:43:24 So he had to rush off. We were doing the outro and now. Yeah. And then we did the podcast. It was in his offices. Right. So he had to rush off. We were doing the outro and then suddenly he just burst back in and he went, yeah, yeah, so this is what I'm talking about. And he was holding a pair of his boxes and he was like showing us the inside. And I went, oh, that's the pouch is it? And like put my finger inside the box. He went, no, don't touch that. I've just taken them off in the toilet. Ah, that's Oliver for you. Wow. And to be absolutely fair to him, I now exclusively

Starting point is 00:43:45 wear... You're still there? Those boxes, yeah. I don't exclusively wear them, but I'm pretty sure without checking I'm wearing a pair right now. Are you going to tell us what this brand is or is that... Saks or the... They're called Saks. They know it. The listeners know it. S-A-C-K or S-A-X? S-A-X-X. S-A-X-X. S-A-X-X. Oh, that's put me off. S-A-C-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X- I mean, could have been done, you know, quite expensive though. So if anyone from Sax is listening. Oh, I love them. I love them. I love the Sax. I think, yeah, two X's is just right. Well done guys. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:31 There we go. We've all been influenced by Jamie Oliver fashion wise. Yeah, we have. Dream side dish. I'm going to, and this doesn't entirely necessarily work with my haggis dish because it might be a bit of repetition. But over the Christmas holidays, my wife took some new potatoes and covered them in salt and a little bit of chilli, I think, and lots of oil and roasted them.

Starting point is 00:45:03 And they were just about the most extraordinary thing I've ever eaten. So a small new potato roasted, that new potato, that sort of virginal new potato skin is crisping up with the salt and the oil. It was absolutely sensational. So that's my side dish. And I know that that's a double potato, potentially, depending on what happens in my haggis dish, but there's probably going to be a double potato. But potatoes are probably my favorite food stuff in the world. So I'm very happy to have them twice. This does sound good though.

Starting point is 00:45:36 Oh my god they are. I never roasted a new potato. They are a heaven. I don't like boiled new potatoes. Never been a fan of that. But you roast a new potato and magic starts happening. And you don't think to do it, do you? No.

Starting point is 00:45:47 Because that's not what they're for. Yeah, yeah. Turns out they are. Turns out that is exactly what they're for. That's exactly what they're there for. What they're born for. Yeah. Yeah. I like like a standard new potato. I love that too.

Starting point is 00:45:56 Nah, no. They're born for fun. With some butter on them. And like with a salad. With a butter on them, yeah. I've yet to find anything you can do with a potato that I'm not going to find delicious. Ed, that's a challenge extended. Yeah, no, I'm trying to think of something to do with a potato that you would say isn't delicious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's essentially what he's trying to do.

Starting point is 00:46:16 I can't think of anything else. Out of Jamie Oliver's pouch. Yeah, there you go. That's a bit difficult. Imagine if you were going to put your finger in, he went, don't touch that, I put some new potatoes in there. That's why I was carrying my new potatoes in. You don't want to touch that. Yeah, I think this sounds absolutely delicious. Super crispy, super hot.

Starting point is 00:46:36 And did your wife make the full Christmas dinner? Or was it a team effort? She did not cook it. It wasn't Christmas day. It was in the sort of the perineum. Actually, it was even post perineum. It was, it was, we were just into the new year, literally going, what the fuck have we got left? Sprouts and potatoes. And she went, I'll just do this. These boxes really support my perineum. Yeah. I'm glad that we from that. We need some new past. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was post. She didn't sort of mean to do it. It was a kind of, it was a little bit of just- Just chuck some things together and see what happens. Yeah. Often the best way.

Starting point is 00:47:14 Cooking is not something she prizes herself as being particularly good at, but this was such a triumph. Yeah. And then did you really like try and impress upon her how much you love these potatoes so that in the hopes of getting them again in the future? Yeah, I did. But I'm hoping that the mentioning them here will mean that she'll, you know. Start her own business. Maybe, yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:32 Yeah, this is a big platform. Not a bad idea. You know, how I keep thinking about one of your characters. Ever since you said about the lassies is when when you're in Jessica Jones, you play the baddie and he's influencing the lassies all the way through, whispering in their ears, saying stuff. He was at Burns Night. Carnage.

Starting point is 00:47:53 Wouldn't want him doing the toast to the lassies. He was a bad guy, man. He was a very, very bad guy, but he did have a particular set of specific circumstances afforded to him. And I think if you've lived in a world where, for anyone who doesn't know, this is a character called Killgrave from the Marvel universe and everything he says is immediately obeyed by anyone around him.

Starting point is 00:48:16 I think it's like Simon says, but it's like Simon says, but you can't say no. Yeah. I would say maybe this bold statement, the best MCU villain. Yeah. I think why From from your mouth to Kevin Feige's ears I'd say above Thanos for me. I think it was it was great like genuinely hated you Yeah, good good good like I didn't really feel like that with a lot of MCU villains

Starting point is 00:48:41 You like okay, whatever and there was a lot of people having problems with them in films and like this guy, I was like this piece of shit. He better get his comeuppance because he's a, I fucking hate this guy. But then also, I don't want to spoil this for people, but like at the end I was like, I kind of like to see him again. But that's the joy of that, I think, just having a one series run of something, making an impression and then knowing that you don't have to come back and top it. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was always going to be that. Yeah. And it sort

Starting point is 00:49:11 of had to be that's the trouble with that character is that he's so specific and so kind of quite hard to write for because there's, there's quite hard to create conflict around him because everything he says is done. So you have to find, in storytelling terms, it probably is only one story to tell, I would think. Although I'm very happy if somebody wants to try a second one. I mean, you can never rule that out with those guys. Well, exactly.

Starting point is 00:49:37 They bring everyone back at some point. Dead means nothing. Dead means absolutely fuck all now. There's so many different universes to choose from. Yeah, it's quite, you can pop through a portal, can't you? Yeah, they can just solve that problem. I can have it come from another universe and in that one, no one obeys what you say. Negative power.

Starting point is 00:49:55 Anything I say, people do the opposite. Yeah. It was very quickly. You could probably, uh, harness that to your, uh, to your own advice. You just make sure you say the opposite of what you want. Yeah. Yeah. That doesn't work out. Yeah. Yeah. That's the same character essentially. Yeah. Yeah. Same thing, but it's jeopardy.

Starting point is 00:50:12 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess one episode you accidentally say what you want. Yeah. Yeah. And then do the opposite. Yeah. Yeah. Your dream drink. Now we've always said Dr. Pepper, we've talked about Dr. Pepper, but we're happy to have you, let you have that just on tap. Oh yeah, that's just, that's a freebie. Oh no, I want a nice bottle of, can I order a specific wine? Is that allowed? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:40 I'll have a bottle of Travolini Gattinara. The only issue with ordering a specific bottle of wine, if me and James haven't heard of it, we will just go, yes. Describe it for us. Take us there. Can I be a showbiz wanker and tell you how it was? This will make me sound disgustingly entitled and repellent, but it was a recommendation from Stanley Tucci, your friend.

Starting point is 00:51:01 The Tucci. The Tucci, friend of the pod. And when he tells you what wine to drink, a bit like Kilgrave and Jessica Jones. He's the Kilgrave of Italian cuisine. So he suggests an Italian wine and you go, I'll never drink another wine for the rest of my life. That's kind of where I'm at. Very drinkable, very easy, very light, very dry. Red wine. Yeah. I don't really drink white wine. I'm Red wine, yeah. I don't really drink white wine. I'm into white wine now. Are you?

Starting point is 00:51:29 I never used to drink white wine. Mainly because I drank, I think when I was a teenager, I drank terrible white wine. I think that's what it is. The first and worst hangover I ever had was on homebrew white wine. Oh wow. Oh my God, how is that? Homemade white wine. Yeah, fucking brilliant.

Starting point is 00:51:44 Who made that. My sister. I've never really got over it. No. Yeah. You don't get over that sort of stuff. How did she make white wine? I have no idea. It's a kit I think. Oh yeah. One of those kits where you leave things in the air and cover it. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So there was quite a lot of it. Yeah. Yeah, that put me off. Yeah. You know what I thought your dream drink was going to be? Iron Brew. Polyjuice Potion so you can keep looking like Fred and Lisa.

Starting point is 00:52:12 This is quite well researched this. James's brain is basically films. Okay. So yeah, he's got a massive sort of repository of a lot of stuff. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. These are pretty big performances.

Starting point is 00:52:31 Yeah. This is like, I don't have to do much research to know this stuff. Pretty big franchise. But it's in there. Yeah. Yeah. With that film, I always forget that because I know what the twist is. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:41 So when I'm watching it, I'm watching Bernie Gleason, but I'm convinced I'm watching you play in that role, which is ridiculous because it's obviously is. I wasn't there for most of it. But this is how good you are. You don't even need to be on set. Your tongue work in that film is grotesque. Thank you very much. Thank you for noticing. Rare to get to say thank you after the word grotesque, Isn't it? I'm very proud of it. Yeah. Yeah. It gets the whole plot hinges on it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:08 Yeah, absolutely. Would you, uh, when eating a meal, do you get the tongue out? Does the tongue ever come in handy? That's because like only if something, I mean, it had to extend quite far up. Yeah. So only if something was dribbling in some very unappealing way or had splashed onto my top lip and needed rescuing I suppose.

Starting point is 00:53:26 But then if you do that now at a meal do people go, it's party couch junior. I mean, I suspect you would. I'm getting the sense that you would. I go, party couch juniors back everyone, it's got the polishes, potion, motion, doesn't drink it. Are you swirling wine and smelling it? Are you doing all of that? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:44 Yeah. He's moving it on. I love them. I'm going to bring it back. Oh yeah, good. He's tearing you up for something. I have a friend called Chris that we have spent years ridiculing for the way he will test a bottle of wine. Refuses to sort of disconnect his bottom jaw and just lets the fumes hit his face, the whole back of his face. So he lowers the bottom jaw, takes a big in-breath over a glass of wine and then just nods, nods, his assent. Well, so he's not just smelling, it's going in his mouth as well. That's apparently what you're supposed to do.

Starting point is 00:54:19 So you're not just smelling, you're letting it all, you're letting it all, because I suppose, well, your mouth and nose are very connected, aren't they? Yeah. Oh yeah. And you're just sort all, because I suppose, well, your mouth and nose are very connected, aren't they? Yeah. Oh yeah. And you're just sort of like a snake getting ready to consume some puree. You disconnect your bottom jaw, let it swing open and you just imbibe the fumes. You don't taste it, tasting it, you're tasting it for absolute losers. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:42 I've got a couple of proper wine friends who, when you're out with them, quick smell and then they're like, yeah, that's fine. But do they not do the jaw thing? They don't do the jaw thing. God, they're losers too. They're losers. Yeah. They think they're cool. Ollie Smith and Freddie Bourne are losers. If we go out for dinner with Chris, though, it's all we're waiting for. We're waiting for the distended jaw and the wine sampling. It's absolute heaven. You could get the tongue in there. I could get the tongue, but that would be wrong. Imagine the two of you sitting up, doing those moves.

Starting point is 00:55:12 He's unhinged his jaw like a snake. I'm lapping it up like a snake. Like Voldemort can control snakes. That could be your third dinner guest, Fines controlling Chris. You there with your tongue going crazy. Yeah. He's putting it around the back of his head. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:30 Mike laughs on the back of his head having a little sniff. Well, that's Quirrell, let's face it. Yeah. That's Quirrell, come on. Yeah, but Voldemort's got no nose. Oh, that's true. How does he smell? How does he taste of his wife?

Starting point is 00:55:40 How does he smell? Fantastic. Yeah. I bet he stinks, Voldemort. Of course he stinks. Do you ever want to improvise in that film and be like, my Lord, you stink. I never did. I only met Voldemort, the puppet version. Oh, it's a horrible puppet version and then he kills the janitor or something.

Starting point is 00:56:03 Someone like that. Yeah. Me and Timothy Spall had a scene with him. Is he a friend of the pod? Yeah, both Spalls actually. Oh, Spalls Senior, Spall Junior. Yeah, we've had the double Spall. The double Spall. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Don't mind if we do. Not together. Not together, separately. Maybe a future one. We arrive at your dream dessert. Yes. This is one from my childhood. This is going to be a lot less poncy than some of my other choices. But possibly more delicious. So you assemble this yourself.

Starting point is 00:56:36 Anyone at home can do this. Butterscotch Angel Delight. You know of which I talk? Yes. You get Butterscotch Angel Delight. You get a Mars bar. You chop the Mars bar up into little bite-sized chunks.

Starting point is 00:56:47 And before the Angel Delight has set, you mix it through. You've got a large bowl then of butterscotch Angel Delight, peppered with chunks of Mars bar. This was our dessert of choice as children. This was, I don't know if it was my mum's recipe or if she'd go somewhere else, but it was a very special day if we had the Angel Delight. Yeah, I bet it was. But it's got ginger delight with Mars bar mixed in.

Starting point is 00:57:10 I bet you were pinging off the walls. You could probably try other types of Angel Delight, other flavors, but you would be wrong to because this is where it's at. I love this pure nostalgia. But also delicious. Yeah. Delicious. And each bite you don't know if you're going to get the little treat of a little Mars bar hit.

Starting point is 00:57:27 Yeah. That's great. I don't know if we've had Angel Delight come up on the podcast very often. We've talked about it. People get very angry when we say we've not talked about things and then we have, they'll list all of the episodes. Oh, do they? Well, I don't know why you said this to someone recently, but it was on a recent episode.

Starting point is 00:57:43 It was on Rose Matafea's episode. He said, we've not talked about Willy Wonka on this podcast before. And I think we talk about it most weeks. Ah, right. It's weird that I said that. I know that we have done that. Yeah, of course we have. Of course it's come up on the podcast.

Starting point is 00:57:57 So I'm sure Angel Delight has come up on the podcast before, but I don't know if anyone picked it. Nobody's put it as a... They have picked it. twice. This is the third time. Do you want to hear who you're Angel Delight's brother is? Nobody's put it as their... They have picked it twice. But ito says twice. Twice. This is the third time. Do you want to hear who your Angel Delight buddies are?

Starting point is 00:58:09 Noel Fielding. Noel Fielding. Of course. And Helen Skelton. There we go. It's quite a curious triumvirate there. That's a good team. There you go.

Starting point is 00:58:19 The three of you hitting the town together. Yeah, Charlie's Angel Delight. Did any of them put Mars Bar through their Angel Delight? No. I need to check that one. No one else has put Mars Bar through their Angel Delight. Charlie's angel delight. Did any of them put Mars bar through their angel delight? No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely. They definitely didn't have the Mars bar. Immediately rejected it as a team. It elevates it to a whole different place. Yeah. It does sound good. And that next to my Travolini Gattinaro. Yeah. The perfect combo. That is the perfect combination. What would Tooch say if he heard that though? I wonder if he's ever eaten angel delight. I wonder.

Starting point is 00:58:45 Surely not. You could have recommended it back to him going, thank you for that wine recommendations, Stanley. Yeah. May I suggest some highly processed? Yeah. There's probably a sort of Heston version of Butterscotch Angel Delight, isn't there? That's made from the fairies wings or something.

Starting point is 00:59:03 Yeah, I'm sure. Which is, I'm sure equally delicious, but there's something about sort of nasty cosmetic hit. You need the brand sometimes. Like you need Heinz ketchup, Angel Delight. If you try and make your own version, it's just not, it's not as good. Yeah. Beans as well.

Starting point is 00:59:19 Yeah. I promise you, go away and try it. Well, I think we've got some Angel Delight in the cupboard at home. Of course you do. Of course you do. In the lockdown, we tried to make Magnolia Bakery banana style pudding. Or just banana pudding. Right.

Starting point is 00:59:33 Tried to make that, but we went on the Magnolia Bakery and learned what the thing was. And it said, get this thing, but it said, if you can't get it, get Angel Delight. Right. To use. So we got some, but we got too much. Made it during the lockdown. It was delicious. It was so delicious. I'm like, we can never make this again. And now we've got angel delight in the cup. I think butterscotch. I think we've got some butterscotch in there

Starting point is 00:59:54 and some vanilla or whatever. But like, yeah, if it's butterscotch, I'm going to have to do this mass bar. But James is so worried. This constant worry for him, of finding something that's so delicious that it ruins his life. Oh, this might ruin your life. Yeah, that's the thing. If it's delicious, but I can't get it very often, that's the dream. Is that it's so delicious, but I'm not going to be able to get access to that.

Starting point is 01:00:18 So like when I first went to America and had banana pudding, I was like, great, I know nowhere in England that does that. So I'm fine. I don't think I had myself. I had to erase it out of my mind. Really? What kind of dish is the Magnolia? It's basically just like the most full fat double, triple, quadruple cream in a, like what looks like a Ben and Jerry's tub that's got bits of banana and vanilla wafers in it just all stirred through. It's crazy. It's insane. It should just be a little spoonful of that, should be a topping on a different dessert.

Starting point is 01:00:49 Not a full tub of it eating that. So when I learned to make it, that was bad. And now there's a place like around the corner for me that does it, which I did not need to discover. So that's the battle every single day. It's good though. It's to never go there, it is good. But now you've got a new enemy. Got a new enemy. Buscotch Angel Delight with Mars mix.

Starting point is 01:01:07 I hear that guy who owns the dessert shop, cause it is a dessert shop near me, who does the banana pudding is listening to this. He's going to make that Angel Delight Mars bar when he's going to know I can't resist it. Yeah. And I'll be going there knocking on the door. I mean, I'm seeing you can't, you might try it and go that's. I don't know. It sounds good. Those two, I know I like those two things. Especially cold Mars. It's the mystery of what you're going to get in each spoonful. Is there going to be a little bit of Mars in this one? Is it a mystery if you're getting a bit of Mars or you're not getting a bit of Mars?

Starting point is 01:01:34 I think when I was a kid, the Mars was stretched quite thin. So it really was a bit of a kind of, it was a treat if you got one. It was like finding a sort of throppiny bit in the Christmas pudding, I believe, from, you know, a Christmas Carol. Uh, when I have made it in later life, we've probably been a bit liberal with a Mars bar. You're doing well. I'll come on. You know, if you can't kick back and enjoy life, you're earning, put a bit of

Starting point is 01:01:59 extra Mars in your angel of the light. Yeah. But maybe that's not what it needs. Maybe it does need to be slightly rarer. Yeah. Well, what about this for a little surprise? Get a box of celebrations. Oh my God.

Starting point is 01:02:12 Chop. I know exactly where you're going. Chop them up. Fuck me, that sounds great. Put that in the angel delight. This is great. And then you really don't know what you're gonna get. This is great.

Starting point is 01:02:22 That is quite exciting. That's a good idea, yeah. That's a real surprise. And you're going to get. This is great. Yeah. That is quite exciting. That's a good idea. Yeah. That's a real surprise. Yeah. You can cut them all in half or whatever. This is like one of those cookery shows where one of the chefs takes a traditional dish

Starting point is 01:02:32 and just makes it their own and takes it forward. I feel like we've just may have discovered something. Are there any celebrations that you'd want left out of there though? Oh yeah. I wouldn't, but we couldn't have, we've got peanut allergy in our house, so we couldn't have the Snickers, which is a shame. Well, you can just save the Snickers in the tub and have them at a later date. I mean, if anything.

Starting point is 01:02:51 Go to the bottom of the garden and stuff my face with them. Even more exciting. Yeah. Well, it's certainly got the Russian roulette element. Yeah. Then here we go. What's in this bag? There's one Snickers in there.

Starting point is 01:03:00 That would be a quite, maybe one of the less eventful, exciting episodes of Ready Steady Cook would be you tip the bag out. It's just a packet of angel delight and a box of celebrations. Yeah. Nick Nairn's like, well, I think I know what I'm going to make. I'm going to do a main course. I'm going to do 20 minutes. Yeah, I'm fine.

Starting point is 01:03:17 It was more than 20 minutes. How long was it? I don't remember now. It was quick though. I think they got like 20 minutes. It was really quick. It was really quick. No wonder it wasn't cooked.

Starting point is 01:03:25 The thing I nearly put my eye on. Yeah. And they got 20 minutes to cook something sight unseen. Yeah. And Ainsley's like running over like every two minutes getting in their way. Basically just waving his hands in front of their face. They don't still make it, do they? No, it's not on anymore.

Starting point is 01:03:39 It's due a reboot, isn't it? I think so. Everything gets a reboot at some point. They'll do it again. Would you host it? I don't think I'd be the best choice. No. No. It's the four episodes a day thing. You know, I mean, we got hurtled out of that studio and the next lot we're in. But surely like you've done films and TV shows that are more gruelling than filming. Four episodes of Registrated Cook. Probably.

Starting point is 01:04:02 What's the most gruelling? What's the role that you've done that you're like, never again could I do that? And it could be something that you're really proud of still, but you're like, I could never go back and do that. You played one very bad egg, I would say, that must have been quite a tricky, tricky old part to play. Oh, are you talking about Dennis Neils? Yes.

Starting point is 01:04:21 Yeah, that was a particular journey. Yeah. Yeah. We had a very good script though. And it was, it was very sensitively done as much as something like that can be. I, I, but, and something like that was sort of, you kind of visit something for a period of time and then you just kind of walk away from it. I don't, I bet it wasn't sort of grueling in that. It was, it wasn't sort of, it's probably something that films over a long time time where there's a sort of constant kind of, it's the thing that makes filming difficult is if there's

Starting point is 01:04:50 a lot of dialogue, if you're having to learn tons of words every single day, that's what becomes grueling. The filming is sort of, there are long days and everything, but you kind of know what the rhythm of that is. It's if the homework is kind of overwhelming, like every day you've got another big chunk of stuff to learn. If you finish filming and then you've got to go home and learn a whole... That's when it starts to get kind of, I don't know how many. So, remember, play's worse then?

Starting point is 01:05:12 Is it worse if you're doing like a play and you've got... No, because once it plays up and running, you're just doing the same thing every night. You've got it in your back pocket. That's very intense in rehearsals and then actually sort of kind of easier in a way. Whereas filming something that's new every day, you're just sort of trying to get that one scene in the can. And if there's, yeah, there's a lot of tricky dialogue, but they are often the most rewarding things because, you know, I've just done something which comes out next year about the phone

Starting point is 01:05:39 hacking scandal. Oh, yeah. No, it comes out this year now. And that was very intense just because there's a lot of quite complicated information in that. I'm playing a journalist who sort of broke the case open and there's just a lot of quite technical stuff. And obviously you have to be very specifically on that because there's a lot of lawyers watching

Starting point is 01:06:00 to make sure you don't say the wrong thing. And that was quite a long shoot And that was quite that was very intense But then that you then do something and you're very proud to be part of course Yes, you know something like that is one of the stories of our time that needs telling okay We're gonna meet your menu back to you now and see how you feel about it You like still water with ice. Yes, you want dr. Pepper on tap for the whole meal just for life Pop it on the bed you want all bread all the time. Yeah whole meal. Just for life. Pop a dumpster of bread, you want all bread, all the time with butter. Yeah. Great.

Starting point is 01:06:28 Starter, escargot, main course, fancy haggis, chef's choice with neeps and tatties. Nick Nairn's gonna make that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It should be Nick Nairn. Yeah, yeah. Side dish, wife's roasted new potatoes with salt and chili. She'll come in to make them, yeah. Yeah, she'll give it to Nick out the way. For the rest of the meal or will she only come in to make them?

Starting point is 01:06:46 I'd like her to be there. I'm allowed to have dinner with how many people am I allowed to have at the table? As many as you want. Oh, wow. You can have Burns himself there if you want. We can bring him back. Oh God. It's like a proper, I didn't realize there was that element of fantasy about it. You can bring him whatever. I'll have, do you know what? I'll have Georgia with me because I don't really want to have dinner with anyone else really. She can go off to make the potatoes briefly and I'll have Chris to open the bottle of wine. Of course you want that.

Starting point is 01:07:10 Yeah, of course you need that. I really want you to see him. You need him unhinging his jaw like a big python. Speaking of which, a bottle of Travellini Gattinara red wine, dessert, butterscotch, angel delight, peppered with chunks of Mars bar. And we will try the celebrations version as well. If you don't mind us joining you for that. Yeah, you can come in for that.

Starting point is 01:07:31 Do you want the toots to come in and try that as well? Chris can try it still dislocated. He might get a bit judgy about my dessert choice. But that's the risky take with the toots, right? It's the risky take. It's a risk worth taking. Of course it is. Well, I think that's a great menu.

Starting point is 01:07:46 Thanks very much. Really good. I really enjoyed that the main course was like, here's my base ingredient, do whatever you like with it. And then the dessert was butterscotch angel of a light with Mars bar peppered through it. He'd thought about that so much. It was so specific. As I talk about it though, what I'm undecided about is how much Mars bar you should have. Because obviously the more Mars bar hit you get, each little hit is delicious, but there's something about yearning for it. Yes.

Starting point is 01:08:14 It can't be in every spoon. Keeping it sparse, yeah. Because otherwise you get used to it and then the joy's gone. It means nothing. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's a good metaphor for life. It's like when you get old enough to make your own butterscotch angels related Mars bar Yeah, it's somehow less special than when you only get it once in a blue minute. Yeah. Oh, yeah

Starting point is 01:08:30 I've ruined so many foods for myself. Yeah, I like just having them in a... Gorgeous! Yeah, like an entitled wanker. Yeah You think that at the end of Harry Potter that Barty Crouch Jr was like, I don't even like the taste of Polyjuice Potion no more. Yeah, not that nice. I don't even like the taste of Polyjuice Potion no more. Yeah. It's not that nice.

Starting point is 01:08:46 I don't want it anymore. I think David calling James an entitled wanker is the perfect place to end it. I wasn't calling James an entitled wanker, I was calling all of us who have graduated from childhood to a life of, have what the fuck you like. Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant David. Thanks for having me. Thank you David. Thanks for coming to the Dream Restaurant David. Thanks for having me. Thank you David.

Starting point is 01:09:03 There we are. What a good chat with David Tennant. I didn't keep my powder dry. No, wet powder. Very wet powder, but I couldn't help it. You were a paste by the end of it. There were some iconic roles. I'm a pasty boy.

Starting point is 01:09:17 Yes, absolutely. And I had my stopwatch going, waiting for when you were going to bring up Jessica Jones. Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I did nowatch going. Yeah. Waiting for when you were going to bring up Jessica Jones. Yeah. I didn't really know no segue. Really? No. I just kind of went, Joe, I'm thinking about. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:31 And talked about that. Cause I wanted to talk about the, it's one of my favorite villains. Yes. It's very good. Talk about it. Kill grave. Yeah. Kill grave, man.

Starting point is 01:09:38 Kill grave. AKA David Tennant. Oh, that was Benito sneeze. He doesn't like to talk on the pod, but he likes to sneeze. He'll sneeze it up if he wants to little sne sneezey boy. He's going to edit that out, which is annoying because like, I quite like that it was in there. I'm trying to figure out a way of getting into the next bit. That means that he can't edit out the sneeze.

Starting point is 01:09:55 Yes. But David Tennant didn't say Tennant's. No, he didn't say Tennant's, but Benito just sneezed. But Benito did just sneeze. Hey, remember in the intro, we said there was a bit that we were going to read about David's podcast and save it for now Well, this is what we're gonna say. Yes. So as James and Ed mentioned now, I don't know who who Ben Thought was gonna read this bit. Yeah himself, I guess well, we did mention it. They know we mentioned this so We should flag it up again

Starting point is 01:10:22 There's a great back catalogue of episodes of David's podcast with people like Olivia Coleman Tina Fey, James Corden, Billy Piper and Whoopi Goldberg. Faye man, we've got to get Faye on this pod. We've spoke before it's never gonna happen because Faye was in the audience At one of our Christmas specials the whole thing was a goddamn mess. We mainly talked about Nish doing a fart, which by the way, we've got more of those stories now. So if they did come back on with it, we'd inevitably end up talking about Nish farting again. That's going to come up on a future app.

Starting point is 01:10:54 That is going to come up. Just a little thing for the hardcore fans. We have a new Nish farting story that is going to blow your mind. And it's to do with food as well. And it's to do with food. They're always to do with food, I suppose. It's the origin story of the fart. David Tennant does a podcast with, is back.

Starting point is 01:11:10 Listen to it now. Thank you very much for listening to the Off Menu podcast. We will see you again soon. We will see you again soon. Goodbye. Bye. Bye.

Starting point is 01:11:19 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you.

Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 281: David Tennant

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