Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 298: James Norton (in partnership with Dexcom)

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

In a special bonus episode in partnership with Dexcom, we welcome BAFTA-nominated actor, ‘Happy Valley’ star and Dexcom ambassador James Norton to the Dream Restaurant. And, no, he didn’t get type 1 diabetes from falling in the Thames.  If you, or someone you know is living with type 1 or type 2 diabetes and you like the sound of Dexcom, we highly recommend you take a look online at Dexcom.com and request a free Dexcom ONE Plus sample. Dexcom sensors are available on the NHS for some people living with diabetes and are also available to buy online. Always read the user manual for important product aspects and limitations. Talk to your doctor for diabetes management. Terms and conditions and terms of use applyThis testimonial relates to an individual’s response to their use of Dexcom’s product(s) as part of their diabetes management plan. The testimonial does not provide any indication, guide, warranty or guarantee as to the response other persons may have in response to the use of Dexcom’s product(s). Individual responses to the use of our products may differ. It is important to consider individual circumstances and consult with your healthcare professional before considering any changes to your diabetes management. Follow James Norton on Instagram @jginorton Follow Dexcom on Instagram @dexcomuk Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster.Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Video production by Megan McCarthy for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the off-menu podcast taking the tomato of conversation, adding the mozzarella of friendship, sprinkling over the basil of humour and finishing off with the olive oil and balsamic, dare I say, of the internet. It's the Caprese podcast James. He's crazy for Caprese. Yeah, baby I don't know if you would put balsamic on it. Really. That's probably a bit of a Riff on a classic Caprese. That's a gamble. My name is James Acaster together. We own a dream restaurant and every single week We invite in a guest and asking their favorite ever start and make us dessert side dish and drink not in that order. It's a bonus episode. It's a bonus episode of off menu.

James Norton is our guest. I unbelievable actor. Yes. An absolute talent, a chameleon. Happy Valley stage production recently of A Little Life. Yes. Absolutely fantastic and everything that he's in. I know this should go without saying with actors, but let's face it, it's not all actors.

I 100% believe James Norton in every single role. He disappears into the character. It should go without saying. It should go without saying for actors, but let's face it, there were some actors, the guy who played Lars Penfield. That was my next example. Yes.

Of actors who I believe 100%. James A. Catter disappears. Geoff, any idea how crazy it is for me to be sat here in this studio with Lars Pinfield? Yeah, and John the Mouse at the same time Yeah, and John the Mouse and the guy from Josh And it should be said this episode is in partnership with Dexcom It is

A thing that is very close to both mine and James Norton's heart and of course your heart James because it does a lot for my life Don't wear it close to your heart I don't wear it close to my heart, I wear it on the back of my arm. It is my constant glucose monitor Yeah, it keeps me abreast of all the changes in my blood glucose level We'll be chatting a little bit about that with James It's gonna be nice for me to have a fellow type one on the show to bond with I'm really looking forward to Hearing more about it genuinely, but look and I'm sure

discussions of type 1 diabetes will litter the conversation because of course, very closely aligned with food and the foods that we choose to eat and food has an effect on us. Absolutely. And, you know, I reckon there'll be a lot of people listening to this going, oh, I know what kind of stuff they'll be talking about. Well, why don't you write it down now on a little bingo card

and then as it goes on, see how ignorant you are. Wow. James has come flying out the gates. James Norton is an incredible actor and we're very lucky to have him on the podcast. However, if he picks the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will be forced to kick him out of the dream restaurant. Yes. And this week, the secret ingredient is Nature Valley bars. Now, it's got the word valley in it.

It's got the word valley in it. We didn't really think about this one, I'll be honest. We're just excited to have James on. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But you know, if you pick Nature Valley bars, he's out. Well let's just get on with it, shall we? This is the off-menu menu of James Norton! Welcome James to the dream restaurant. So excited to be here. Welcome James Norton to the dream restaurant!

But it's been here for some time. Oh my god. It's the genie. Wow. Terrified. Terrified of the genie. Not terrified of the genie, but terrified of the... I've sort of been very excited about this and dreading it. Yeah. Why the dread? Because you mentioned the dread when you came in earlier. Yeah. I think nothing to do with you guys. Thank you.

Absolute pleasure to see you both, rather than meet you both, as we've met before. The dread is, I think, my personality type. I am such a perfectionist, and it's particularly about food and actually particularly about restaurants. So for example, I'm the guy who walks into a restaurant and will probably move tables at least twice to make sure I've got the best table. And then if the other table, the best table is about to finish, then maybe we'll move after, you know what I mean? And that kind of... Wow. Okay. I mean, that's extreme, but I'm bad. I'll probably change my order. I'll probably order and then

panic and then go up to the guy and say, sorry, the waitress, I'm so sorry, would you mind, I would need the other one actually. So when you give me one opportunity to come to my dream I'll probably order and then panic and then go up to the guy and say, sorry, the waitress have so sorry. Would you mind? I would need the other one actually. So when you give me one opportunity to come to my dream restaurant, I'm like terrified that I'm going to get it wrong as if this is my one opportunity to eat. And I sort of, there's some disconnect to my brain that this is still a comedy podcast and that this is imaginary because I've been agonizing about this for weeks. That's what we want.

We don't want anyone coming in here saying this is imaginary. Yeah. Dexcom? That's actually not Dexcom, but it's a diabetic related alarm. Oh, nice. Yeah. For listeners, James is also type one diabetic. James N. Yes.

This is not a revelation that James A. Castor is now type one diabetic. That would be a good revelation. So if we can do that in the future. So if a few alarms go off, don't worry about it. Just either me or James has hit the deck. I love this. I love that you're a perfectionist about restaurants.

I love that even ordering in the dream restaurant, you might want to come back and change your order. What makes you want to change your order? I'm interested in this. Isn't it weird? Yeah. It's a perfectionism. It's a, it's a, there is a version of this experience, which is better.

And it's, it isn't a sort of a metaphor for my life. Generally, like I'm, you know, this is measly into the therapy session. Yeah. I think I, I think there is a version of the experience I'm about to have, which is the perfect version. And I'm, and whilst I'm still in control of the experience and I about to have, which is the perfect version. And whilst I'm still in control of the experience, and I can still sort of strive to that perfect version, I will do everything I can to get it.

And so, I'm in the restaurant, I'm thinking, actually, the gazpacho wasn't the right call. Yeah. I am going off like crazy. Once I've ordered something, I'm thinking it's not the right call. There is a better starter out there for me and that will bring me more pleasure. I don't obsess about it and I then have to go and change it just in case. And invariably, the first choice is always the better choice.

Yeah. Do you not then worry that you've changed it and that the one that you left behind was always the perfect one along the way? Always. But what I've probably done in the meantime is manipulate the person I'm eating dinner with to order the other one I wanted so that I at least have it to try. Yeah, I think that's smart. That's what it does.

Is it what you do? In fact, I probably have manipulated everyone around the table to try it. Head gets furious if someone orders the same thing as him. There's one less thing that he can try. Because you know when the wait is going around, taking all the orders, I've got in my head what I want. Yeah. And it's always the person who doesn't know what they want and they order it just on the fly.

That immediately picks the exact dishes that I want. And then I know that I want those, but I'll have to change it. Do you sit around a table of say four people and you order first and then everyone says, oh, I'm gonna have that as well. And then everyone orders the same thing and I'm filled with rage. I'm like, wait, no, that's selfish of you. Order something else, even though I've ordered the best thing. Well, no, make your own mind, but make sure it's not the same as me. So I can try your food. Yes. Yeah. Make up your own mind. But yeah, just not in my direction. Yeah.

I'll make up your mind. That's why I want selfish of them. Cause I want to eat it. I know. Cause then you can try. I am aware of how deluded and vicious this sounds, but yeah, this all speaks to a deep problem I have. Yeah. Also, it is specific to food, I think. I love cooking. I love entertaining people in my house. I have that like host instinct.

And if I've decided on a meal and say, I haven't quite got the right ingredient, I will go mad. I will like travel across London for like, if I'm making a tagine and there's an Argan oil, it specifies. It will make absolutely no difference to the dish. But I will, I will be like, I need that. This is where the two of you are very different. Oh really? You've been with us? When Ed is cooking or making something, say he's making, I don't know, ice cream that his friend's mom has sent him the ingredients for.

This is a specific example. And he's been told to get condensed milk. He will just shrug his shoulders and decide that evaporated milk is as good as, and just use that and then complain when the ice cream will never unfreeze. It was rock hard. It was such a shit recipe. And bear in mind, this was during COVID. I didn't particularly want to go to the shops.

So I did a big online order with all the ingredients that this mysterious mother, um, told me to get. And it was, you know, I put in condensed milk to the, uh, website and it came up with evaporated milk, so I thought they must be the same. I wouldn't probably know the difference. Who are we to argue with a card though? So, you know, I've up till that point. I thought they must be the same. I wouldn't probably know the difference. Yeah. Who are we to argue with a cardo? So you know, up until that point, I thought they're the same man. I thought you were going to say I've eaten at Ed's house a lot and he's just, he riffs.

It's more on instinct. Well, you love cooking. And I was there up until this point. I was like, you're so similar. Do you know what I do? I am a bit when, so if I'm, if I'm being really pedantic about a recipe, which I don't often follow, because I have my stuff I like and I know how to make and I do riff around a few themes. But if I'm like, you know, holding a, having a dinner party and I want to get it right,

I get very... Again, it's just this, there is a version of this meal which is perfect. And also, I hate if I'm cooking a steak or a roast and I've overcooked it by a fraction. I'll spend the whole meal going, it's dry. It's dry. I'm so sorry. I understand. You'll ruin the dinner party for everyone else by talking about how angry you are that something went slightly wrong.

And then it's really delicious. Don't worry about it. I'm going to eat mine in the bedroom. Yeah, completely understand that. So you understand why me coming on. That's me. Yep. Completely understand that. So you understand why me coming on this podcast is fraught. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. Okay. Does that ever translate? Cause I'd say that Ed and I, so Ed is like that, what you described. Yes. And I'd say I am like that, but only when it comes to being on stage and doing a show. Interesting. And the, and the second that I have messed up and it's not going to be the

perfect show, I'm like, what's the point? What's the point? Do you get that on stage as well? Are you just on the edge side of things and not the, I mean, James side of things are confusing because you are called James. But like, you know. It's just a really good question. I mean, I think my job, maybe I assume it's the same with us with comedy. Well, you've done a four hour play that's longer than either of us have ever been on stage. Yeah, that was the play thing. I think often in my world, what I've learned actually, I think, relatively recently in terms of what I do is that actually the mistakes are where it gets good. And

and the more loose I am and the more open I am to not being perfect against my character, actually that's where the kind of magic lies. So if any young actors, which is, I've got that point in my life as I'm sure you guys have, is like, I've got advice for young people. I am the young people. But if I do get asked about advice for people, it's often like, don't, embrace the imperfections because that's where the story is, that's where humanity is. So yeah, actually more and more I'm kind of like, if I fuck up, it's no bad thing. Within reason.

Maybe it'll be like that for this menu. Let's see. Still love sparkling water, James. That's an easy one. Sparkling all the way. Every time. Oh yeah? Yeah, one of those. I'm sorry. No, don't apologize for it. The sparkling water crew do get made to feel that they need to apologize. Why is that? Because we're worried we're too bougie. Yeah. I think there's an element of that, but I think you need to divide the sparkling water

crew into different factions because there's people who are like, I always have it when I go to a restaurant because that feels like I'm out, like it's a special thing. And there's some like deep members of the sparkling water crew who are drinking it at home. They're buying bottles of it to drink at home. They're drinking it instead of still water across their whole lives. What about these people who have the machines?

The machine people. Yeah, I'm sorry. Are you a machine person? I am. But in my defense, I haven't had a cartridge replacement for a long time, so I am suffering with the basic un-fizzy tap. But no, I do have sparkling water in my fridge, yeah. I don't know why, it just makes me happy. Again, it's the perfection thing. If I am having a drink of water and it could be slightly better because of the sparkle, I'm like,

oh, this is just annoyingly not as good as it could be. So now there's no joy for you and still water at all. I mean, it keeps me alive, I guess, in that sort of basic way. So that's joyful. Sparkling water, if you only drank sparkling water, that would also keep you alive, right? I've heard you guys have this debate before, if it hydrates you. And you actually, brilliantly, I think it was one of the reasons, said there have been a study, said that it does keep

you alive as well. Yeah, I think, but it just feels weird to me. It feels like, I know still water isn't like the most joyous thing in the world when you're drinking it, but I do get joy from it because I'm like chugging it down, being like, look at me so grown up. Yeah. No, I also take pleasure in water. I always found it funny when you were at school and there was someone like, I don't like water. I only drink coke. I'm like, really? I don't like water. Is that real? Yeah. That's why you've got no teeth. That's why you got no teeth and you have Chinese leftovers in your lunchbox. I'm calling social services. Yeah, my dad doesn't like water. No, really? I feel as a punchline.

No, that's it. He doesn't like water. He told me that he has to hold his nose when he drinks water. Yeah. He hates it. Can't stand it. Things are disgusting. What does it do to his nose? It's like you can't smell it, which I mean, I question that if you get even... Yeah. Is he drinking out of the... What is he drinking? What kind of... He's laughing away at the bog. And I don't explain why, that's why he's doing it. If I ever catch him doing that, holding his nose, I'm like, dad, I think I know why you don't like water. I've never liked water. And you have to drink it out of this big, this big white thing. I have a question that's diabetes related, but I'm worried it might be ignorant.

Go on, hit the taboo. We love it. What if one day you had to change your pump and also had to change your fizzy water cartridge at the same time and you got them mixed up? That's not ignorant, James. No, that's not very valid question. You get this question a lot though, right? I do get this question a lot, yeah. It's never happened to me, but obviously people think about it a lot. Well, I guess what would happen is my pump would then become my fizzy water dispenser and anyone who came around to my house would have insulin. Insulin flavored water. Well they would just be pure insulin. So I'd probably murder all my dinner party friends.

Right. And in terms of how the pump would then be intravenously pumping fizzy water into my... But it's just the gas cartridge, right? Yeah. It would just be CO2. It would just be... Poison you. I mean, you'd be dead.

We'd all be dead, basically. Yeah, X would be dead. And the inspector would have to try and piece that together. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good murder mystery, isn't it? That's a very good murder mystery. Oh, it piece that together. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good murder mystery, isn't it? Yeah, this guy was hammered when it was time to change both things Got mixed up and then his guests arrived. Yeah, and then everyone's right I think it'd be a quick murder mystery because you'd be like right they all drank this water. It's like an insulin in it

Yeah, it'd be very niche for all those people who didn't really know what insulin does Yeah, there's lots of people but it'd be more they'd have to then figure out how you had died. Because I'd be like, okay, I've all drunk this, but this guy, he's over here, doesn't seem to have drunk any of that, but he's dead too. I think what would be the, probably the big giveaway is that whilst the pump may double up as the CO2 canister and people wouldn't know. I would have a huge metallic kind of thing sticking out of my midriff, which the inspector might notice. And also insulin stinks.

Insulin stinks. Yes. Anyone who knows a diabetic smells of hospitals. It's really interesting the reaction that gets, isn't it? It really stinks. Does it? Yeah. It smells of hospitals. It smells like very chemical. I like that.

But people do like it. Do you get that? I like that smell. When people complain about how. Ah, I like that. But people do like it. Do you get that? I like that smell. When people complain about how hospitals smell, I don't get it. I like it. Lots of people smell the insulin and go, oh, that makes me think of a hospital. And then other people are like, oh, that makes me think of a hospital. It depends what your hospital experience was. There's good and bad things happen in those.

It reminds me of my child's birth. That's nice. There you go. It reminds me of the time I died. It reminds me of my child's birth. That's nice. Yeah. There you go. Reminds me of the time I died. It reminds me of my Brazilian butt lift. Pop-darts or bread? Pop-darts or bread, James Norton? Pop-darts or bread? Easy. Bread. Bread, bread, bread. So it's easy so far. These are fine.

We're easing you in with the easy question. These are fine. Yeah, you're bread. But I mean, I know, but specifically, I want like steaming hot sourdough with like a soft centre, very crusty. And can I have three different types of butter, please? Yes. I'd like this sort of salted, traditional, nice and thick. Don't go, what is it, churned or whatever, or air it.

Whipped or whipped. Or how would you? No, no. You really, why would you? Visibly winced. Why would you whip up something with such beauty? I love butter. I don't mind whipped butter, but I do think it's a way of restaurants getting less butter onto the plate.

Interesting. They put more air into it and they're like, look at this fancy whipped butter. And you're like, yeah, but that if you saw that in just a normal pat form, it would be tiny. But doesn't it just dilute something delicious? I mean, I like, I do like the texture of it. I like it. You feel that worse. I feel better about slathering loads on when it's whipped.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want my whip, thanks. I'd like a little bit of salt on one. I want a truffle one. Okay. And then the third one, I think I'll just leave to the gene or, you know, the chef. Marmite one.

Yeah. Because that's a genuine, I've had Marmite butter before. It was delicious. I had lunch at the Ham Yard today and I think their bread has a very slight marmite taste to it. It was absolutely delicious. Yeasty, very yeasty. Maybe that's it. I guess there is yeast in all bread, isn't there?

This is true, but it's tasted like bread. Bread is big for me and as a diabetic, that's problematic because, I mean, it's just not great to eat a huge loaf, but I often... It's admin, isn't it? Bread is admin. What? Delicious admin. It's delicious admin. It's admin, isn't it? Bread is admin. What? Delicious admin. It's delicious admin. It's always worth it. You have to do it.

But I'll be like, right, bread, I've at least got a few hours of trying to make sure everything's fine after I have bread. Oh, I see in terms of my admin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is admin based, but it leads to it. But yeah, I love bread. I love bread. I used to, I was one of those people who's got went down the whole sourdough whole craze during lockdown. So love bread, love crusty hot bread and love butter. And we'll always eat, you know, you know, that thing where there's like four people around the table and there are four slices. I will eat mine very quickly and I'll wait for someone to only half of their, you know, desperate for the waiters to come back and go, do you want some more bread? I would order more bread.

Yeah. I do it generally. For your dream meal, obviously I'll keep coming back with the bread. Can I recommend a place for bread? If you're really into bread, you might have been, but there's a place called Oma, which is in Borough Market, which is like sort of broadly Mediterranean. There's a lot of sort of Turkish influences. There's Greek influences.

There's a little bit of Italian influences, but some of the main courses at the beginning, that doesn't make sense, but you know what I mean. There's a dips section. Yeah. So there's like an amazing baba ganoush. There's an amazing tarama. There's just all incredible dips, but with a slight twist and there's like a scallop XO dip thing that was incredible.

But the breads that come with these things. Amazing. Like this bagel looking type bread, but covered in garlic butter. There's like garlic butter running through it. There's like these amazing flat breads. I'm in. Huge shout out to the bread at Oma. Yeah. Do you have a specific place that you think that's my favorite bread?

I've heard Dean Street Town has bread mentioned on here a couple of times, which is a very good bread. Again, I think it's the heat. It's clearly just freshly cooked. It's crusty, but it's not quite crusty enough for me. I love food. I love eating lots of good food. I'm not great remembering great restaurants. I can't, like the starter in New York in 2005, it sort of blurs into one big gorge. That's fine. You don't need to remember the places. But in terms of, yeah, I mean, the Marmite bread is pretty good. Had it lunch today. Well, let's get into your menu proper then.

Can I have a loophole? Ooh. Yeah. Well, let's hear it first. Let's hear it. Yeah. So, I love going to those restaurants where above the starters, there's the scallops and the like,

you know, snacks. Oh yeah, yeah, little snacks. Am I allowed a scallop round without it being a starter? I think, um, sorry guys, I think the snacks portion of the menu is common enough now that that's an acceptable loophole. Would there be scallops on there? Sorry, sorry. I'm completely, I'm obviously nervous. I'm not saying scallops, oysters. The oyster section where it sits with like smoked almonds and you know, that kind of olive section, olives that has extra bread. Sorry. I love scallops.

I love oysters. So yeah, a dozen oysters for the table. 100%. We've let people do the oyster loophole before okay I think good company Joe Quinn comes to mind I did the oysters so, you know, although I think we may have made Joe Quinn have the oysters on the way to Did he go to the meal? Well, like it has to be on your way Yeah, I don't really think we need to do look reflecting on it now. Yeah, we just wanted to draw was unnecessary

You can just have it as part of this. It's in the snacks section. Yeah. I've seen that part of the menu before. I think that's completely allowed. What a relief. By the way, for the table is James A's catchphrase. Cause we'll be sat somewhere. We'll all be happy with what we can order. And like we've already ordered too much food and James will pick like two more dishes that we've not got and go, we should get these for the table. Yeah. It's great. It's great idea.

Does it? No one wants them. Just the table. It's always when I know I'm going to feel sick after this meal because we've ordered so much food and the waiters stood there being like, fucking hell guys. We said eight dishes maximum and there's no room on this table. And James go, for the table. For the table.

For calamari. I feel like we're speaking from appetites. No, I have a huge appetite. I regularly get to the point at the end of the order and go, is that enough? Like, are we going overboard? Do you reckon, like, can you just advise us? And he or she will go, no, I think you're good. And then I'll go, and I'll sort of agonize for a second and go, actually, we do want the extra. And I'll always order it. And occasionally they'll say, I'd stop there, you're enough. And they'll, they'll argue or they'll push back on my extra order. And then I will be vindicated every time I'm always a V almost probably because I'm just

trying to prove myself. Right. But I am. Yeah. I will always, always add a couple for the table. Sometimes they'll ask the question, how hungry are you? Yeah. You say, is that too much?

Is that too much? Well, how hungry are you? And you're like, I don't know if that's going to help you. You don't know me that well. Do you, do you, well, do you know what I say to that question? Ask me that Well, how hungry are you? And you're like, if that's going to help you, you don't know me that well. Do you know what I say to that question? Ask me that question. How hungry are you? Hello, I'm Ed Gamble. Yeah. And that works now. Yeah. That's why I do it when I'm out for a meal with you. Yeah. I'll go, Ed wants to try everyone else's anyway. If I say for the table, he won't be able to resist it. Exactly. He will have it. Yeah. It doesn't matter how hungry I am.

It's for the table. Yeah. The table is hungry. The table is hungry. How many oysters do you want for this? A dozen, you said. It doesn't. I think it depends who's here.

It's for the table. Are they big oysters? Are they creamy? They're from an island off the west coast of Scotland called Colensee. Great. For someone who said he doesn't have specifics. I know, that sounds booyy, doesn't it? Well, it's because I've been on holiday there a few times.

What's the name of the fisherman who caught them? Oh, I bet him. There's an oyster man up there, proper old Scottish guy, I think. But, um, you'd think so. They are, you'd hope so, yeah. They're famous for their oysters and I've eaten them on the beach, you know, cracking them. I think locations look sooky. and so sitting on the beach with friends on one new year bucket of oysters, my friend who found out he had an allergy that night throwing up deep down the beach. Wow. Yeah. That guy's never eaten an oyster since, but everyone else had an amazing night and the oysters were absolutely delicious.

Are you shucking them yourself? That night I was. I mean, in this restaurant, I'd appreciate it if you did it. Yeah. A guy bringing them back into shore who's having caught them going, I've got a bunch of gunk on them tonight. I don't know why your friends there puked up directly into the sea. I also keep saying you guys as if you're hosting me at this restaurant. Well, that's up to you really. I mean, I guess there is a genie waiter and,

you know, I'm technically the maitre d'. Are you here as well? Yeah, I'm here, but I don't have to be. It's your dream. So whoever you're eating with is up to you. We won't get offended. I was hoping maybe that you guys were eating with me and I would just manipulate your orders so that I got to have your dream meal.

I think we've got no one else that you'd prefer to join you at your dream meal. Uh, of all the people you know, who is the most easily manipulated? I can't say that on the podcast because they'll know that I'm manipulating. Lancashire? In terms of people I've worked with. You ever try and manipulate Lancashire? I imagine that's impossible. She's not a manipulatable. Manipulated.

You can't affect her meal choice. I think she manipulated me probably without me knowing it. No, she's not manipulatable. You must have had plenty of males with her. Not that many because we didn't actually do that many scenes together. We would kind of come together occasionally in the series and have these very explosive scenes and then we were going to go away and talk about the scenes. But yeah, we would never really... I spent enough time to know that she's amazing and we had a really lovely time, particularly in the first series actually. We spent most of the time off camera just talking about house renovations, because we're innovating a house at the time, and she loves flipping houses. So she gave me a lot of

advice on what bathroom to buy and that kind of stuff. That's great. After a really intense scene as well. Yeah, I know. That's what people think. People often ask me, oh, after those scenes, how did you decompress? And were you sort of in the corner shaking with trauma? I'm like, nope, I was choosing my tiles. One of the few characters who I've forgotten is like, not real. We're not been watching it. It's your character and I've been like, fucking get that cunt. Fucking get him. That's acting, baby. That's acting. Yeah. I was like, absolute piece of shit. Yeah. Why's he allowed in this drama?

Get him to say a lot of shit. Are you still feeling it right now? Not right now. You're such a nice person. It's quite disarming. I can't believe it. How nice you are. What if this is the performance?

Oh, the twist. I promise I'm not psyched about it. But I do get offered roles where I'm like the guy, the seemingly nice guy with a heart of stone. I do sometimes think, what does that say about me? Like when I walk in, they go, it's complete. You know, he's a disingenuous motherfucker. Are you walking in and say, hi guys, nice to meet you?

You go, you got the part. You fraud monster. So the oysters have all been shared. That's lovely. Is there another loophole before the starter? No, no, no, I'm good. I'm good. Thank you.

I mean, I wouldn't mind some smoked almonds, but no, no, let's stick with it. Well, they're in the snack section. We'll just bug them on. Oh, thanks guys. This is my promise, because I can't not eat everything. Now I'm getting stuffed. I'm kind of full. All the oysters.

So this is where I'm getting nervous. Okay. And horny as fuck after all those oysters. Yeah. Hey, how about that? How about if you had something like a monitor that would tell you how horny you were like on your phone, on your phone and it would like come up and let you know, yeah, we'd let you know you're at 15.5. Oh, I'm sorry. Be careful.

That's too good. Yeah, I would like to know. You're at 15.5. Oh, I'm sorry. Be careful. That's too good. Yeah, I mean, I guess we kind of do have the similar thing. Oh yeah? Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah. We've all got that. Have you not? I don't know what you're talking about. That's nature's Dexcom. No idea what you're talking about. The sexcom. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

So the nerves kick in here because I've got lots of choice. And this is an interesting thing actually, diabetic related, is I don't know about you, if you've heard this, but apparently the reason Italians are very healthy and they eat a lot of carbs and they manage to maintain good glucose levels is because they start their meal with the vegetable, with fiber. Interesting. And fiber, if you start a meal, and we've completely screwed up already because we've already had seven baskets of bread, so that's done. But if you start your meal every time with fiber, your glucose levels should stay more

level and you can have more carbs for your second, pre whatever, you know, the second, first course. And then you have your potato and your fries for your third, if you start with fiber. And since hearing this, I've really tried to start my meals with vegetables in my starter. Have you noticed a difference? Well, I think I have, you know, I really do, but I know it's game changing. I'm going to try, I'm going to try that. I read about it. There's some people who've started to talk about it more and more.

And when they told me the link to the Italian diet, it made complete sense. That's why they're all so healthy. They live this, they lead this very long, happy, healthy life, but this Mediterranean diet, which is seemingly full of carbs. Yeah. But I'm, you're saying this as if that's a fact that that's how Italian people eat. I get all of that from Olivia adverts. Is it true?

Or, you know, the Mediterranean diet, they love it. Yeah. The blue, that was the blue, the longevity, like the blue zones. Maybe it's because they all live in families and they don't. Yeah. Well, I'm going to try that. I'm going to have one stalk of broccoli tonight before I eat a full fish and chips. You have to, I mean, it's something fibrous, something fibrous to lie in your stomach. Anyway, and also I know what my main course is going to be.

So originally I was going to go for like a lobster, a Bisc or a chowder. I love like, cause I love the bread and I love all my butter. There's nothing, but my second basket of bread, which I've eaten probably half of, I'll then start like loading it into a soup. And I think it's a Bisc makes me feel sick. Does it? Why?

Because I had a wisdom tooth out this year and, uh, and I was like, I said to my girlfriend, go into the shops. I said, just give me some soup. And she, and she, and she went into MNS and she just went, I thought I'd get you this. And it was a lobster beast. And I was like, I can't be bothered to heat up. And I just drank it cold. And I was like, why did I do that? Yeah. 100% your fault. I was like, oh, I feel sick now. I can't look at it. That's horrible. Yeah. I mean, that's, that would do that to you. I guess. Yeah. I just thought maybe that'll be nice just to have it cold. I guess, gazpacho, but

it wasn't gazpacho. With the lumps of cold lobster slipping down. Yeah. Yeah. It was a, it was actually not that lumpy, but it was, it was very, very fishy and lobstery. And cold. Cold. Yeah. Yeah. So as soon as you said lobster beats, I was like, do you still want that? The genie is the worst in the companion. I still want the lobster beats.

Then I thought maybe not because I knew that being you being a diabetic, it would be interesting to talk about the vegetables thing. And since I've recently started trying to, but then I was like, this is a dream menu. Why the dream restaurant? Why am I trying to think about my glucose levels? So it was originally a lost piece of a child. I was recently down in Newquay and there was a childer in a restaurant right on the coast whose name I've forgotten. So that's probably a scrapable. But yeah, I love a soup. I think as a child, I used to eat a celery soup a lot and I would put loads of cheddar cheese in it and melt it and then bread and toast. And that was like, and I'd put loads of cheddar cheese in it and melt it and then bread and

toast and that was like, and I'd then drop the bread in and it would become this kind of Kinja mess and bread and soup is just, but a good soup, like a lobster piece with big lumps of lobsters. I've just said all that. I'm going to order the best asparagus in season asparagus in the world cooks like steamed perfection with the best parparagus in the world, cooked like steamed perfection, with the best parmesan in the world, with olive oil and I've got a memory of a start of... Best olive oil in the world? Best olive oil in the world. Yeah. Probably from this place I went to in Croatia called Istria, which has like four of the

ten best olive oils in the world. Oh wow. And if you're a foodie, it's amazing. It's a little peninsula on the east coast of Croatia where it borders with Italy. And it's very small, but they have the four of the ten best olive oils in the world. And they're also like the truffle capital of the world. So I love the truffle butter. So that's going to come from there. That's coming from there.

And on top of my asparagus and the best parmesan is there's just loads and loads of black truffle shavings. And I have a vague memory of a, of a delicious sort of very sophisticated starter with asparagus and a tiny Scotch egg. Cause I feel asparagus and egg and with a little, so I think that gives you that kind of slight meat sharpness. Tiny Scotch egg is like a quail. Yeah. But not, yeah, not dry, you know, wet, runny, indulgent.

That could be on the Scotch egg. Yeah, a hot Scotch egg. That could be on the snacks list actually. Yeah, yeah. This fucking ever-growing snack. A tiny Scotch egg. A warm Scotch egg is on the snacks list for sure. A delicious Scotch egg with like just the most beautiful asparagus with parmesan and

maybe some pine nuts. I really like this hack that you've developed, which I don't think anyone's done before, where you don't know where it's from or really what it is, but you just say the best in the world. Yeah. Best parmesan in the world. Where from? Just the best in the world, please. Based on current available data, best one in the world. Just look at our witch. I mean, this is the nicest way possible, James. It's like having a five year old on the world.

I think I was Googling on the way here, like best balsamic vinegar, best asparagus, the best asparagus from, I mean, that is great because it's something that we haven't really talked about much on the podcast. It hasn't come up. Yeah. But someone, but people were saying like, I don't just want it to be a specific one I've had. I want it to be the best in the world. Well, this is the perfection thing again. I've only got one go at it, unless you don't even have me back. I've only got one go at the three restaurants. Well, you're going to come back and change your order in a couple of months.

James grabbed us outside. We're about to go and record an episode with someone else. They're waiting outside now in the hall. Yeah. He's asked to move tables. I love it. We've been recording this for weeks. Keep changing it. No, I think, yeah, like it's probably my personal, the perfection, the perfection project, whatever you want to call it.

And I mean, there are like people talk about these kind of ranked things, don't they? So why not? I've got a fucking genie here. Yeah, you've got a fucking genie right here. By what other people say about it? So if someone said, this is the best restaurant in London, would you go and be like, yes, it was,

and I'm glad I've been to the best restaurant in London? And same with Parmesan. If someone said, this is the best Parmesan in the world, you'd be like, yes, it is. Well, I would probably buy into it. I mean, I haven't eaten all the restaurants in London. I have definitely not eaten all the Parmesan's in London. So I can't really kind of say whether or not it is or not, but I do enjoy a ceremony around food as well. If someone, I don't know much about wine,

but if someone says to me, this is a really nice wine, I'll like really enjoy it. Yeah. Take your time. Take my time. And I like being with kind of the sort of what they call, the leaders of a certain discipline. The best in the world. The best in the world. The pioneers. The pioneers, the best in the world. The virtuosos of wherever they are.

And so if someone tells me it's the best Parmesan, well, I'll believe them and I'll enjoy it. And it's, you know, I'm quite a genie. You're a genie. I can make it all best asparagus, best parmesan, best olive oil, best truffle, best salt. I've sort of replaced you with God, haven't I? The omnipotent, omniscient genie. Yeah, more of like, I don't know, one of the angels, the seraphim. Yeah, so I think in line with the vegetable starter, and it's also linked to my main course, because I was going to go Bisc and then I was going to go fish.

But actually I'm sticking with my slightly, my Scotch egg and my asparagus. I think that's nice. I think you've got that fiber now. We can see if that works later in the meal. Yeah. You've got a Scotch egg next to it as well. So, yeah, a bit more fun. But the reason I was saying I was dreading this is that I've been sitting on Bisc for

weeks. If you're, if you're. If you're my friend... If you're my... People close to me will have... I've asked them, can I just go over my menu one more time? And Beesk has been on it for a long, long time. And now here I am. And I was on the way here and I was thinking, I've made a mistake. So I flipped it and I changed to asparagus.

So the asparagus is completely rogue. I love asparagus. Yeah, same. Probably top, top three veg for me, I'd say. That's fair. Absolutely love it. I think in the moment, tender stem brock's probably in there. Yes.

Yeah. And I love aubergine, but it doesn't even feel like I should count it in veg. No, it's more of like a main course, isn't it? It's a sponge for sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the other one? That's a good question. I like rocket, but I'm not having it all the time because sometimes too peppery.

AVO for me, love an AVO. AVO's good. It's a fruit. Artichokes. Artichokes for me. Artichokes are currently number one. Oh, spinach. Farty on it. Spinach. Steamed, what's your, how are you serving it? However, I don't mind. Steamed probably sauteed is probably best if, if I

can get it right and there's not too many liquid coming off it. Not cream, not too many liquid coming off it. Yeah. You're not having that. Yeah. No, that's a sentence. Do you not cream your spinach? Not often. Not with a steak and some fries, cream spinach. I wouldn't probably, I wouldn't ever make that myself. That's the thing about this guy, like you, and we've all had this with him. We all assume he'd like cream spinach. And I remember discovering for the first time that he doesn't particularly love it as much as I thought he would. And I couldn't compute that.

Also, it doesn't add up to the, to everything else about you and what you enjoy. Well, I need some, I need something to, if I'm having a particularly like rich meal, which I really enjoy, I need some element that's sort of bitter, that it feels like it's cutting through the fat. So normal steamed spinach to me is perfect to go with like a big rib eye steak or something. Why do people call you Ed cream spinach scramble? I don't know man, because I love spinach. Actually, we've got. Broadcast that story.

If I see spinach, I cream is difficult to get mixed up. Yeah. The horny alarms going off in his pocket. Hawksmore. Hawksmore cream spinach. I was going to say you do love the cream spinach from Hawksmore. So that is the exception that proves the rule. Yeah.

Thank you. So the James's it's worth mentioning that this week's episode of Off Menu is sponsored by Dexcom, who are all about helping you manage your type 1 and type 2 diabetes with real confidence, which is great timing and a massive coincidence, as it's diabetes awareness week just around the corner, and a huge coincidence, James A, that we have James Norton in as our guest this week. Yes, massive coincidence. Who is a fellow Type 1 diabetic. I am. James A, you're not a diabetic, I see.

I'm not a diabetic, but I'm just happy to, I'm an ally, and I'm happy to be part of the conversation here, you know. You're welcome, you're welcome. Well, any questions you've got as we discuss Dexcom a little bit more, you go for it, man, okay? Okay. No question too stupid. Thank you, we're friends. Well, I'm going to tell you first of all what Dexcom a little bit more. Yeah. You go for it, man, okay? Okay. No question too stupid. Thank you, we're friends.

Well, I'm gonna tell you first of all, what Dexcom is, James, because for you and a lot of- Actually, that is my first question. Yeah. And a lot of other people listening, it might not mean much, but for myself and for James N

and many other people out there living with type one or type two diabetes, it's a massive thing, isn't it? It's a game changer, yeah. It really is. Yeah, continuous glucose monitoring, which is what Dexcom do, certainly has changed the life of myself and James. So we wear a Dexcom CGM and it's a small skin sensor that measures our glucose every few

minutes via a tiny wire beneath the skin, sending readings to our phone through Bluetooth. A bit like Robocop. Absolutely incredible. Yeah, we are cyborgs. We can see our glucose levels when they're heading down or heading up fast or whether we need to act on it and being able to set alerts to let us know whether we're going low or high. For me, absolute game changer when it comes to managing my diabetes. Yeah, for those like James A who are intrigued but ignorant about diabetes, the challenge is to keep good control of your glucose levels. And CGM is a new

technology which has made that so much easier. And as a result, we sleep better, we're less anxious, we can have a happier, more healthy life. So it's pretty big. It's absolutely massive. I mean, I remember when I was diagnosed, there certainly wasn't this technology as easily available as it is now. No, and now it's available on the NHS. You can buy it, but it is also available on the NHS for some diabetics, which is amazing. And more and more is being kind of rolled out and made accessible, which is great. What it's really helped me do is understand how different things affect my glucose levels, like exercise and like what I'm eating. And, you know, to a certain extent, it it's made me go it's everything I ever suspected but I've just been ignoring for ages yeah turns

out if I eat more nutritionally and more balanced and do loads of exercise and it's much much easier to manage my diabetes. Didn't you tell me once that you know is that doing stand-up comedy caused a spike? Yes. Adrenaline? Adrenaline yeah massive I mean performing with type one is an absolute pain sometimes. Yeah. Like Dexcom has made it way easier because I can just check my levels and then go on stage, do the show and that's fine. But I know you recently did a massive run of a play that was incredibly taxing. I did a four hour play and I didn't leave the stage once apart from the interval.

And I had my Dexcom on the whole time underneath a bandage. And yeah, I had the little, you can either, the readings can either be sent to your phone or they can sent to like a little sort of pager device, which was very small and I kept my pocket and all the way through the play every so often I'd quickly have a look and then I would act accordingly. I would eat some sugar or I would inject and it kept my glucose levels so much better. I had one or two minor hypos. Is that me? Is that yours going off? I think it might be.

This is great. Oh, I'm cute. When you're doing a four hour play, we're doing any play to know what your levels are doing. That's the key for Dexcom. As a diabetic, awareness and knowledge about your glucose levels is power. And that's how you are less stressed and you can spend less time thinking about your diabetes and more time thinking about life. Definitely. And that's what Dexcom gives you. It gives you power. It gives you freedom from diabetes, which is kind of key.

Yeah. I mean, I found performing using Dexcom has meant that I don't have any issues on stage because I can see before I go on, I can literally have my phone side of stage. Yeah. I can see if it's stable, it's going up, going down, act accordingly and then go on and do the show without worrying about it at all. I mean, there's so many brilliant features connected with the Dexcom. The alerts, even though I think the alert that I get of telling me I'm dropping low or going too high lives in my nightmares, it's very, very helpful.

Yes, it is helpful. Oh my gosh, because before we had CGM and Ed and I are old enough and have had diabetes long enough to know this, the only thing which would wake you up was a hypo, if you were going low. And that is horrible. We would wake up sweating mess, discombobulated, disorientated, scared. Um, if you're with a partner, it's quite scary for them. Cause often you are, you know, hypos are serious things.

You kind of lose your mind a bit. And now way before that happens, all the dangers signs kicking in, we get a beep, which wakes us up. Yeah. And since then my glucose is just more controlled. And so I, I don't get as many alerts through the night and I sleep so much better and then your whole life is improved. And that's why you cannot underestimate how much difference Dexcom gives

you in your life. It's huge. Yeah. Those beeps as well. Have you ever been in public and heard someone else you don't know in public, you find out they are using Dexcom as well because you hear the beep come from their phone? Yeah, yeah, of course. Well, I have the added fact that my sister and my mom are all on Dexcom.

Of course. Can you imagine, my kitchen table? Genuinely, where it goes off and we're like, who is it? Who is it? Grab the phones. But yeah, again, it's just for all three of us. Once we've established who it is, who's being beeped at, it's just our whole family life. We get more sleep, we argue less. I had to interview someone recently, a founder of a company, who has also given a lot of money to diabetes research because his stepson is diabetic. And we were on stage and I had my phone in my pocket and then the alert went off and

I was like, oh, this is so embarrassing. My alert has just gone off. No, it was his phone because he uses the sharing feature on the app. So it means that parents of diabetics can also be hooked up to the census so they know if they need to act on something as well. Now, and I'm aware Ed, I'm probably tearing myself up here to be absolutely roasted. Are there any stigmas or misconceptions around diabetes that get on both of your nerves? And look Ed, I think I've apologized for everything I've ever said.

You've done all of them, everything you've ever asked. Oh no. You can probably list them off to be honest. Yes. I think people thinking that you guys can't eat sugar or sweet things at all. Yes. Is the number one. If this was a family fortune, that'd be the number one one that would come up. Do you know how many times I've said I'm on the off menu podcast and they go, but can you even have dessert? How are you going to do that course? I'm like, yes, I can. Thank you. Very much. When it's really annoying for me is when I don't want to have dessert.

If I decide to not have dessert. So then everyone goes, you can't, of course you can't have dessert. It's like, no, I could if I wanted, but sometimes I just, it's too many calculations and I just want to eat a bit of cheese. And then people get annoyed with you if you order a cheese board, you know? Well, I mean, someone in particular, I think. Yeah, I'm absolutely annoyed. I didn't know it was a hate crime until now.

I got annoyed every single time. I would imagine that people not knowing that they're two different types is annoying as well. People just kind of like lump everyone together and don't like appreciate that everyone's got their own journey, their own story. Yeah, there's a slight confusion, I think, between type one and type two and Ed and I both type 1. Type 1 is autoimmune and we don't produce any insulin. Type 2 is a more sliding scale.

Yeah, they might be producing insulin, but the insulin sensitivity is way down, so it might not be doing its job. Yes, exactly. But of course, people who have type 1 and type 2 can both benefit from Dexcom. Am I right, guys? Absolutely. Yeah. Dexcom's waterproof. Yes. Yeah, there you go. Oh yeah, that's another misconception. Absolutely. Yeah. Dexcom's waterproof. Yes. Yeah.

There you go. Oh yeah. That's another misconception. The misconception that if you have these discs, your life is in some way limited. Things like swimming or running or exercise, you know, people are like, how do you live with that thing? But it's weird. You put it on every 10 days and it stays on there and you don't really think about it

at all. And does it really hurt having something underneath your skin? It doesn't at all. No, not at all. I forget about it all the time. Yeah. And it's rock solid as well mine doesn't move where are you rocking your sensor i uh generally wear mine on my midriff on my stomach what about you where do you wear yours i'm back of arm your back of arm every single time yeah yeah yeah do you know i found if i stick it like sort of just below the tricep it really pops those bad boys out

yeah that's really good actually. So a big thanks to Dexcom for sponsoring this week's episode. But before we take a break, worth mentioning that Dexcom CGMs mean that you can see how your body responds to different food, exercise and also medication at different times of the day and that you're able to spot patterns. Without CGM, this can be difficult to understand. But with Dexcom, you'll learn what's right for your body, adapting only what's necessary. If you or someone you know is living with type 1 or type 2 diabetes and you like the sound of Dexcom, we highly recommend you take a look online at dexcom.com. What a great website.

Wow. And request a free Dexcom One Plus sample. Dexcom sensors are available on the NHS for some people living with diabetes and also are available to buy online. Always read the user manual for important product aspects and limitations. Talk to your doctor for diabetes management. Terms and conditions and terms of use apply. And we'll be right back. So this dream main course that you've, you know, picked to, so you teed yourself up with the asparagus. So this is why I flipped and flopped for a long time.

I couldn't think what I wanted in my dreams. And then I realized what I wanted. But then it was like that throws beast into complete chaos. It's gone. It was fish. I want to fish. I knew I want to fish. And the reason I was like veering away from this is because this is what I would,

I cook for people a lot when, especially in the summer, I love barbecuing. I have a big grill. I have a big gas grill. I have a big wood grill as well. Exactly the same person. Yes, please. I love the same house. Walk in, everything looks exactly the same. Charlie says hi to you. What the hell? What was the alarm going off? Yeah, I love grilling, grilling, grilling, grilling. And I love flame grill stuff particularly. And I love in the summer grilling fish. So I'd

love if you're okay with this to take me a beach, because I would like to be sitting on a beach for main course. And someone is grilling, wood grill, wood flame, fish, and it could be... A halibut steak would be great, some prawns, some big prawns, maybe some scallops. And it's like paper tablecloths, sun setting, and I'm just getting in there with my hands and I'm cracking the prawns and I'm, you know, that's my mate. You know, maybe with the salsa, maybe like a mango or something, some fruit based salsa, lime and really well seasoned, but incredibly fresh. Yeah. Yeah. Love this. Delicious.

Yeah. Really good. Yeah. That's fantastic. Can't argue with that. Halbert steak as well. I don't think we've had. Yeah. We've had that, have we? I'm so sorry. It's ironic that we're doing a diabetic. Yeah. No, I need to sort that out.

That's fine. It'll stop beeping in a second. Yeah. Fish. Do feel free to take a pause to give you time to put in the thing that keeps you alive. It keeps... You know a lot about diabetes. Yeah, no, it'll be fine.

It'll stop. Barbecued fish. Yes. One of the best things in the world. And when people come around to my house in the summer, I've moved to ours recently and one of the big things was building an outdoor kitchen. So I've got like a sink, wood, wood barbecue, gas barbecue. It's pretty amazing.

Yeah. And then I will barbecue various bits of fish with some halloumi. I'll do a right, this is what I would have you in my house. I do a rice with full of seeds. So lots of pumpkin and some of the seeds. I think if I had to choose one ingredient I use the most in my life, it's sunflower and pumpkin seeds. Really? Yeah, everything. Every meal.

Savory or sweet. Porridge, puddings, starter soups, salads, everything. I just eat. I love toasted seeds. Have you got like a dispenser? I don't. I just do have, you know, in the spice drawer with your salt and pepper, or like, you know, your sort of essentials in there, my pumpkin seeds and my sun-frazzed. So I have them in my rice with some like coriander and then I'll have a mango salsa with like, you know, lime and avocado and tomatoes and a bit of chilli. And that with grilled fish, but just good fish. Don't do too much to it, but lemon, salt, pepper. I don't want to make this

whole episode too diabetic, but how often are you eating porridge and how do you handle it? Oh, is that a thing? I don't do it. I don't do it anymore. I just can't do it. No. I start my breakfast, again, fiber.

Yeah. I do vegetables and eggs. Yeah. I'm no carb in the morning because porridge, it's mad. It's mad. And I think this is not just for us as well. This is people. I think there's a misconception about porridge being really healthy.

Being the healthiest thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight up, almost like I can see on my Dexcom, like glucose levels straight up, no matter how much insulin I give for it, can never stop that spike. And then, almost an hour later, straight down. Interesting. Straight down the oblivion. Oblivion.

Okay, yeah. I used to do porridge when I was in drama school and I used to cycle like a crazy person from, from green lanes down to central London. And I used to have porridge every morning. Me and my then partner would really went to town on porridge. Like pomegranate seeds, seeds, lots of seeds, all sorts of fruit. And again, I would shoot, but then on the cycle rides. Yeah. Yeah. Same thing. Plummet. I think the interesting, cause we talk a lot about GI index as diabetics. Well, we don't actually, we should. But we think about what is complex carbs and what isn't.

And porridge is often sort of the ultimate complex carbohydrate where it's meant to be a very slow rise and then a slow decline and therefore it's healthy. I agree with you. It's kind of nonsense. So what do you think of the three bears story? Realistically, is she eating porridge and then having a nap in that bed? Probably because that's what happens when you have the crash. So that's okay. She's had the crash. That makes total sense to me. She might be type one Goldilocks. Well, whoever wrote it clearly knows about that. We can finally understand what that story is about. Is she asleep or is she just hypo-ing really badly?

It doesn't explain why the bears live in a house. Does she get eaten by the bears? I think there's different endings. I think traditionally she just like legs it out the house because they scare her. But then there are other endings where they eat her. I'm just thinking if her glucose levels are high. I often think I get eaten by mosquitoes more readily because my because my oh really cuz you're like a delicious sweet treat Do you think that yeah, maybe I've very rarely get bitten by mosquitoes. Well, then let's disprove the rule

Yeah, your glucose levels. Yeah, maybe and not on holiday though mate. It's all over the place. Yes, sure Yeah, feasting on me. That's true. Instant doesn't work as well in hot countries. Yeah. Nightmare. Really? Oh, just came back from Jamaica. Nightmare. I'm learning a lot. Yeah. We're also going to clip up you saying coming back from Jamaica. Nightmare.

Please don't. With no context. Please. As I said it, I thought, oh no. There I was worried about lobster beast being bougie. Look, it's going well, man. Everything's going well. Yeah.

Good on you, man. All you had to do was kick down that little girl or whatever it was. Well, that sounds delicious. I think like freshly barbecued fish on the beach. The best, also knowing you. Best fish ever. Best fish ever. But best beach ever? Best beach ever. Yeah. Best fish ever. Best beach ever? Best beach

ever. Yeah. Have you got a best beach ever in mind? I was very, very, very fortunate to have gone to Jamaica recently. I was incredibly lucky. It was very rare. It was a dream. It was a real dream. Once in a lifetime. I've never been, probably never go back. And that was pretty good. So maybe Jamaica. Jamaica Beach. I'll take a beach in Jamaica. Golden Eye run by Chris Blackwell, who I played in the movie about Bob Marley. He has an incredible hotel called Golden Eye, which is where Ian Fleming wrote all the Bond films and where masses of artists and musicians have been and still go. Cause he ran, he founded Iron Records and a lot of people would play music and go and record out there, including Bob Marley and Talking Hands and all these great, great artists. Anyway, that

is a paradise. Food is amazing and he is a great man and a wonderful host. And see, I'll take that. I'll take that beach and golden eye. But can I just finish very quickly? Sorry. Do you want to make sure my meals? Every time we go off on a jokey tangent. This isn't the best yet. Please. I was suddenly worried that we were going to jump to. No, don't worry.

Well, actually, you're about to ask me about my side dish, aren't you? No, I was about to say that I'll never get tired of the joke. Jamaica knows she went over on a cord. But you go and say what you're It's always fun It was one of those old old jokes that always makes me laugh I went to Jamaica with my wife really Jamaica. No, she went over an accord. That is good clean fun Did you just say I went to Jamaica with my wife Jamaica? No, she went over an accord because you've got that joke very wrong

Is it that right? Yeah, No, you can't say Jamaica twice in it Answering it. I went to Jamaica with my wife Jamaica. It's not I went to the Caribbean I went to the Caribbean with my wife Jamaica. No, she went over on our own Misunderstand your makeup. They were checking they're going. Oh really Jamaica. Yeah. Yeah, Jamaica. That's how that conversation would go I went to Jamaica with my wife. Yeah, Jamaica the island in the Caribbean. We had a lovely time We can all be perfectionists mate take your phone was it saying I Was gonna ask was the hotel called golden eye After before or after in Fleming wrote the books?

I think it was before. Really? He named it after. Chris' mum was the main influence behind Pussyclaw. Wow. What? I just don't know. I was like, that's impressive.

And then I was thinking, I don't know if I'd be all right with that. It's true. It's not great for the schoolyard, is it? Got a character that's based on you? Yeah. What's her name? Yeah. Um, I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Wait for the book to come out. Well, no, the book, she was called Fanny Everywhere. Actually, to be fair, a more convincing name. Yeah. A more realistic name. Yeah. Pussy Galore. I can't say that. When was the first time I heard that that was someone, a character's name. Are you fucking kidding me?

I say it and I think if I mixed up James Bond and Austin Powers. That can't be what the character is called. It was though, yeah. Yeah, it was. I had one of the best meals I've ever had in Jamaica, Rio Grande. Go Goldeneye, honestly, it's the best place in the world. Food's amazing, et cetera. But there's a river you can go called the Rio Grande nearby, near Port Antonio. And halfway down, there's a lady called Belinda who has like a shack and she cooks the best jerk chicken, rice,

peas, and you're on the side of a river and you've just rafted down with someone on like a huge bamboo thing and you're having the best life. It's the best thing ever. Amazing. Food was, yeah. That sounds so good. I was almost just going to regurgitate that meal, but then I thought I've had it. Don't regurgitate that meal.

We avoid the word regurgitate on the podcast in general. Yeah. We say we do. A lot of disgusting things has come up on this podcast. Lobster biscuits. Yeah. It's mainly my fault. So are you okay for us to move on to the side dish now? Yes, I am. Are you sure? Yes, I am. As long as my, cause my salsa is not part of the side dish, is it? Cause it has to have fruit. No, no, that's part of that. You've got mango salsa. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Great. You're alright. Thanks guys. That's all in the bag. You know, I'm not genuinely traumatized by this. I mean, you guys have turned it into like, you do keep going, I'm having a lot of fun.

You very urgently said, please don't move on. No, I'm fine. It's good for us. It's good for us to have a guest who cares about their menu. In all honesty, it's when guests don't care about it that it's a guest who cares about their menu. The stakes are high. In all honesty. Yeah. It's when guests don't care about it that it's a bit harder. This is great. Yeah, no, I care. Your dream side dish, James.

Okay, so I'm a big salads man. Again, fiber, greens, but simple. Green, lettuce, a bit of avocado maybe, lots of seeds, some pine nuts, probably toasted, all toasted, and really well dressed. And that will be alongside fries. And with my fries, I want ketchup and vinegar. And I also, sorry, ketchup mayonnaise a little bit. Probably won't use the mayonnaise, we'll use all the ketchup. Mayonnaise has to be there just in case. And the key thing for me in this whole meal is the vinegar on the fries. Yeah.

Because once you've got that like, salsery, fishy juice at the bottom and this fries are there and you have to have some vinegar, or in general, all meals are improved by a little bit of vinegar. I think balsamic vinegar is probably my third most used ingredient. I'm not putting balsamic on my chips, malt vinegar, but that for me is, yeah. You need the vinegar. I need the vinegar on my chips. And I've realized, I me is, yeah. You need the vinegar. I need the vinegar on my chips. And I've realized, I was actually, I grew up in North Yorkshire. I was in the North recently and I said to the table that, I'm so sorry, do you mind

if I have some vinegar on my chips? And they're like, are you fucking kidding me? You're in the North. Like we all don't, that's absolutely fine. We love our vinegar. And I realized that it's because I grew up in North Yorkshire. I love vinegar on my chips. But I went to the ham yard today I had some fries with my lunch said can I have some vinegar, please? I think the guy went out and bought some I think Ten minutes he came up with an absolute fresh, you know, when they're kind of like lovely malt Yeah, so I guess vinegar on fries to me seems sure unusual I think chip shop chips loads of vinegar., loads of salt, but fries, yeah.

Which is weird, because I love salt and vinegar on my chips. But I think when you say fries, you're probably being very, you're being rightfully pedantic about the very thin kind of American fry. I think I'm thinking somewhere in between a sort of thin McDonald's fry and a chunky chip. What is that? A chip, I guess. A standard pub chip. Yeah.

But I don't want it to be thick. But you don't want it to be too thin. Well, yeah. Yeah. And if I don't get it right, I'm going to come back and run into the sea with the genie. You would like the perfect chip. The best one in the world, please. Yeah, best one in the world. The most perfectly sized chip in the world for you.

Lots of them. Yeah, yeah. perfectly sized chip in the world for you. Lots of them. Yeah, yeah. Lots of them with vinegar and salt and ketchup on the side and mayonnaise, but you probably won't use the mayonnaise. It's there just in case. Yes. This is what I'm fascinated by.

Please. In what situation would you have to bring out, use the emergency mayonnaise? If the, this would not happen because this is the dream restaurant. Yeah. But if there was an issue with like sauce and lubricants, then the mayonnaise is there as a sort of backup. I think it's probably because generally what I do is when they say, do you want any condiments? I say, yes, please.

Ketchup, mayonnaise and vinegar. And they go, oh, you like condiments. I say, yes, I do. I like all the condiments. And if it's me, I'll have mustard as well. So it's just a need to have all bases covered. It's probably a metaphor for my life in some weird way. I love this. So it's more of a security condiment. The mayonnaise is there to make you feel comfortable.

Yeah. And then, and then probably at the end of the meal, I'll go, Oh, I didn't touch the poor mayonnaise. And I'll probably just do one, one fry just to make it feel. Because you feel sorry for the mayonnaise. Well, I just want to, you know, it's completely left out. And also feel a bit embarrassed. I ordered the mayonnaise and didn't use it and looks a bit, you know, entitled. I think this episode is the most we've ever had an insight into the way a guest thinks through their menu. Yeah. The perfection thing is huge, but just then poor mayonnaise.

Yeah, yeah. Do you not talk to things? Not to the condiments and stuff. You know, I might speak to a holiday home when I'm leaving it for the last time. I might turn around and be like, see you later. Yeah. Mayonnaise is pretty, yeah. I just don't want it to be, I don't want to look too wasteful. And I'm also real stickler for finishing my meal. So then there's a big,

but I just want to, yeah, want the bases covered. How do you deal with that with barbecues? Because I will, even if I'm just barbecuing for me and my wife, which I will do regularly, just like during COVID, I've said this before, five times a week, barbecuing, like constant, every meal. Yeah, but it just looked at me like, yeah, yeah, roll his eyes. And I always do too much. So yeah, you and I have the cut from the same closet. I will be like, if it's an evening barbecue at like 10 o'clock, my wife will be like, I'm going to go and do something else now because I'll just be like sat there in the dark, outside eating a steak, just trying to finish the wine and eat all the meat.

Did you have the problem over the lockdown and just generally in life where I always over-cater? I think I've said this to many friends. I think I have a previous life as like some prison chef, because I'm unable to cook for the quantity of people I'm having, you know, I always over cater. And then the next day when you're on a rolling barbie, which I was also in lockdown because my then partner had like the best lockdown because we didn't have kids, we had a garden, our fishmonger was open, the butcher was open, we could get nice natural wine with it and we were just like listen to albums. But barbecuing, it was, sorry, should caveat this with, I know that that

was horrendous for many, but I was lucky enough to have a pretty good time. And a lot of it was to do with food. My problem was that I would always cook too much. And then the following day, you've got like the leftovers of the previous day, or you can cook a new barbecue. It's always a new barbecue. It's always a new barbecue. And then you are getting wasteful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I probably still eat that.

You wouldn't have chocolate all up and put it in a salad. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. It's good at doing that. Using up leftovers. Yeah, it's resourceful. It'll be like, right, if anything, I think you're delighted that it's like, great, now I've got another meal that I can suss out.

I also do. Yeah, I'm good at it. It's true, actually. I like leftovers for the lunch or the little nibble, like midnight nibble. And you've got to meal that I can suss out. I also do. Yeah. I'm good at it. It's true actually. I like leftovers for the lunch or the little nibble, like midnight nibble. Ed, you've got to come around for a barbecue. I'm there.

I'm coming around. Sometimes when I order takeaways, I'll order like an extra thing that I don't need and it will usually be the green thing. Yeah. I won't eat it. And then over the days, I'll store those up from each takeaway and then make a mega salad. Do you?

That's a mega salad is a great idea. Put them all in a thing. The idea, I did it the other day with a broccoli from sticks and sushi with the artichoke Caesar salad from Mildred's. And there's one other thing, I think it's some asparagus, but it's bam, all together at once. Yeah. Absolutely loved it. That's really interesting to me.

I find it harder to keep leftovers on takeaways than I do leftovers of my own. I find, I mean, I regularly, if I'm in London for a week and I know that I'm going to be in a few nights, which is annoyingly rare at the moment because I feel so busy, but when that has happened, I'll either make a massive soup at the beginning of the week or a massive salad and it will accompany all my meals for the rest of the week. Sometimes it'll be the whole meal. Salad, three, four, five days, you know, if it looks fine, great. A leftover takeaway, I find really,

I think it's because I didn't cook it. I don't like it. I have to eat the takeaway on the day. I keep it and then, oh, I'll probably eat this tomorrow and then I always throw it away. I like it the day after is good. The other day, I had loads of leftovers from a really nice Chinese meal, actually.

And I just had leftovers on toast the next day. Nice. Anything on toast. Yeah. Lovely. Just respect him. I respect him so much on the cup.

That was so touching. He just said some things I'm not, what a great idea. He's put it on toast. Yeah, let's rewind. That idea was putting something on toast. Leftovers on toast. James just melted. I can let's rewind. That idea was putting something on toast. Leftovers on toast. James has melted. I can't see this.

That's what I'm talking about. Tell you something else I had on toast the other day. Watch out. Peanut butter, so far so standard. And then, Laugenma crispy chili oil drizzled on the top. It's just like having satay, satay on toast essentially. This guy. James has passed out.

Crispy chili oil is the best thing in the world. I've heard about it before. That is. Laugenmaa, it's just a type of chili oil, but it's the... Sweet one. It's no, no, no. It's like in a big jar. The oil's great, but it's the crispy bits of chili and shallot and garlic in there. And I can eat that like yogurt.

It's amazing. Again, something we share. I should have, I should have kicking myself. James has run out. Tabasco, chili sauce, every restaurant. Of course. He's got any chili, got any hot. So with the fish, with the chips, it's quite, you know, I've racked up my condiments, but chili. And then unless it was cooked really, but spice, I love, love, love spice.

Yeah. I feel like you're marinating some of that fish. I think you are. Yeah, yeah. A bit of chili. If I have some Tabasco on the table, but with that, are you going to, at the end, if you haven't used any of it, you know, oh, sorry, Tabasco, and then just glug it for the box.

That's so funny. Whoa, come on. Do you know, I carry Tabasco everywhere I go. Oh, I love it. Yeah, because of work filming, particularly, food can be good. In fact, can be, I'm sure you guys have experienced this on the road, I carry Tabasco everywhere I go. Do you? I love it. Yeah. Because of work, filming particularly, food can be good. In fact, can be, I'm sure you guys have experienced this on the road, it's like hit and miss. Tabasco will improve anything.

And so I poached eggs in the morning with my vegetable and my eggs, Tabasco, and then lunch. Yeah. I love it. I used to do that with Sriracha. I had one of the key ring bottles of Sriracha. You could get a bottle of Soraccha on a Carabiner. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's right. You're on a carabiner and then hook on your keys hook on your belt And then I burnt myself out on Soraccha James went to the carabiner

Yeah, so right so right sure I just burnt myself out on it though. But you now can't have any more Sriracha? Nah. I'm not a Sriracha guy anymore. Oh, that's a shame. Sriracha. There's a word in there, isn't there? She wouldn't have her own accord.

Your dream drink, James. So... Beesk? Is this the place for the Beesk? Oh, the ultimate hack. First the lobster Beesk in the drink. Cold mug of M&S Beesk? Is this the place for the Beesk? Oh, the ultimate hack! For the lobster Beesk and the drink. Mugger Beesk? Cold Mugger M&S Beesk, please.

Regurgitated, roughly. No, I think what I will... I don't know much about wine, but I love it. So I'll have a... I think I'm going to have a natural white, but like with a little frizzante, you know, they kind of... Because with the fish, this is why basically it's like my lockdown. I had a, there's a lot cause I live, lived in Peckham and there was lots of bougie. It's awful, isn't it? But that kind of live in that echo

chamber and there were natural wine shops. Pecco chamber. Pecco chamber. Yeah. Very good. This is what I'm talking about. I know. On toast. Just on all cylinders. Normally it's just on all cylinders. One second he's throwing out a good idea for how to do your leftovers.

Then he's got an amazing pun up his sleeve. It's unreal. I want you the best. What you guys can't see is that these two are holding hands right now. Really cute. I wish you would. Yeah, there's a wine it's called Cas or something, it's got like a spiral on the front. It's not that expensive.

I know the one you mean. I can't remember the name of it. I drank loads of it in lockdown as well. Yeah, everyone was drinking it. It's along with the Chin Chin, but it's a bit wild. Yeah, and the Calcarius was the other one that everyone was. Is that right? Yeah.

Calcarius, yeah. One of those with it, I think really cold, crisp, natural. Yeah, it's a Pet Nat, isn't it? Bianco Frizzanti. Bianco Frizzanti is what? What's the name of the producer? Casabelfi. Casabelfi Bianco Frizzanti.

Yeah, a lovely, light Pet Nat, delicious. Crisp, cuts through the oil of the fish. Just, yeah, a bottle of that, I think. I did burn myself out on natural wine though. I sound like a complete tosser. No, go on. Because of lockdown, because we've got a really good shop nearest

that does just natural wine. I was drinking a lot of it. And what I found was you find a favorite with natural wine and you go and buy another bottle that's from like a different year or the next year. And it's completely different because they don't have any way of maintaining the taste of the wine because it's so different every year.

They're so at the mercy of the elements. Which is, I don't mind that because what I get really intimidated by with wine is not knowing anything. And therefore going into a natural wine shop, I'm just like, what do you reckon is good? This is my price point, can you sell, you know, I'm eating fish, I'm going to be on a beach with a genie, sort me out. And then they give me whatever's good rather than what is, what I know to be good. I think that, that sort of stuff, I think you can guarantee is going to be pretty much

good across the board. But I was going into this natural wine shop and being like, what's the weirdest thing you've got? And it was stuff that just basically tasted like a farm yard floor. The fun and loads of sediment at the bottom of it as well. If you pour more than two glasses, you've got to just keep an eye on what's happening with the bottle because you just end up with a mouthful of gravel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think we're on the same page. I'm sort of recently trying to be a little bit more traditional.

But yeah, as I say, don't know much about wine, really like it, especially the natural one with this particular meal. So do you want the Cassabelphi one? Yeah, why not? Yeah, great. Please. Cassabelphi is fun to say. I mean, there's part of me, the idiot in me going, well, that's not the best one in the world.

Yeah, so I can tell. I've had that. Yeah, but we've got to chat about some stuff, James. You can't just say best wine in the world. And we go, right, yeah, move on. What? Best pudding in the world. Thanks for coming on, James.

We've never done that before. We've never done that before. That's why you used Dexcom, best in the world. Yes, it is. So we arrive at your dream dessert. It's going to be the best in the world, we know that. It's going to be perfect. You're at the end of the meal now, you've had this perfect meal.

So the perfect way to round it off to end the meal. Well I'm a diabetic so unfortunately I cannot have dessert. Yes! And finally someone admits it. I know it! Yeah, no I've looked at my Dexcom and I've realised that my glucose levels are level, actually preferably they're going down a bit. Yeah.

That's the joy. That's the joy. Yeah, yeah. Hello. Time a bit. Yeah. This is the joy. That's the joy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it just times out perfect. Not only am I going to have dessert, I need it. Yeah, exactly. I need it quick.

I've got five minutes, please. Oh my gosh. This is funny. I went to the GQ Man of the Year Awards. Congratulations. Did you win? I did not win. I'm not a man of the year,

but I was there to support the men of the year. Yeah. And the women of the year. Nicole Kidman was one of them. I don't quite got the nuance of that title quite yet. Nicole Kidman was honored. Who else? Cole Palmer, Jude Law, a few others anyway. And I went into the meal. And the other thing about diabetics, diabetes, which as you all know, and we're all encouraged to do is, um, administer our insulin via pump or injection, whichever way you choose early, like 20 minutes before the meal is suggested.

I've never done it. Never done it. Always on the meal. See, I, I, Especially if you're out, cause you don't know when it's going to come, right? So this is, this is, I've been, I've been trying to do this more and more. I've been really like discipling myself cause it does help your glucose levels. It means you don't spike so much. I don't understand how non-diabetics work. You can't

anticipate the food, can you? We encouraged it early. I went into GQM and the awards and I did my insulin thinking that we're about to have a starter. It's a fashion dinner. The starters like smoked trout with no carbohydrate and no bread. I was fuming at that point and also a little bit concerned because then they started these speeches and then Jude did a speech and then Nicole did a speech and then GQ did a speech. Cut to me. Your phone's going crazy. Yeah. No, I'm worse. I'm like dripping with sweat. I'm on the high table sitting opposite Nicole Kidman and I'm like, and there were cameras everywhere. And if I stand up, it's going to be, you know, it's really rude. Eventually I'm like, I'm going to pass out. So I have to go and,

have to go and speak to someone. So I went to someone who's like running around, you know, one of the waiters and said, I mean, I'm diabetic. You need to help me. I need some orange juice really quickly, please. Cause I didn't have any sugar with me for some stupid reason. They gave me some orange juice. I didn't realize that that then caused pandemonium to break loose. So then I went and sat back down.

They don't really know what that means. They just heard someone say I'm diabetic and I need, I think I was looking looking really ill. And also I put the insulin for the whole meal. So I needed a lot of carbs. So they were going to bring, so anyway, then they bring me a chocolate bar from prep and then mid speeches, they bring me a huge bowl of steaming potatoes. Someone backstage has cooked me a bowl of potatoes, which point everyone down the table is going, why? Why are you against? She's had a chocolate bar and then a bowl of potatoes.

In the middle of the speech as well. It's like, I just look like a glutton, a potato loving... A weird one, a really weird one as well. Weird one. And of course you can't interrupt the speech, go, sorry, excuse me, I'm a diabetic. Explain... Tapping the side of the potato bowl. All you men of the year.

So yeah, it's fraught, a little fraught when you're eating, actually. You can't time the meal exactly. So you didn't have any dextrose or anything with you? I did not. If I did, it wasn't going to be enough because I'd load it up for the whole meal. Was that as well because you were wearing a nice suit and you didn't want to ruin the line of your suit? You know it.

Because it's so annoying. It's so annoying. Whenever on the rare occasion that I have to wear something nice and fancy, which is very rare, I'm like, you look quite nice actually. And then I go, I'm diabetic. I've got to bring a sack full of stuff with me. It's true.

Can't put it in my pocket because it looks weird. And then they end up taking a little satchel with me. I know. I don't have a little man bag for a long time. Having said that, with Dexcom, that has been made a hell of a lot easier. Because I used to have to carry around insane paraphernalia. We'd also have to carry around a pouch, which would be the more traditional form of testing your glucose levels.

And that is no longer the case because I have my phone with me anyway. So Dexcom has genuinely made me more chic. Yeah. There you go. You can't ask for more than that. And I wasn't. Let's, let's, let's, yeah. It's nice to see Ed get into bond with someone over these things. I've never seen it before. I've never got to see it. It's nice.

It's a new man. It's nice to see like you've both got these stories. You're like, yeah, I've been there. When we first met, I don't think you were diagnosed yet, were you? No. Because that would have been 2005, I think. And weirdly, for someone who hasn't got a great memory, I remember exactly where we met. He obviously had a big impression on me. Oh, do you know what it was?

Was it when you were working? No, it was in the MITRE in Cambridge. You were just on a show. And do you know, the reason I remember is because someone told me that you were diabetic and my sister had been diagnosed and we had a conversation about it. It was good. You got to see me at a time in life where I absolutely was not focusing on it at all. I do remember when we met in the Mitre, because it was the pre the smoking ban. And I remember the conversation we had about my sister's diabetes. And I was thinking, oh, it's great.

Diabetes can lead to complete normal life. Because you had a pint of beer and a fag. And it's taking just a second to come back. Yeah. Oh, those were the days. Tired birthday cake in the other hand. You were living your best life. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, those were the days. Tired birthday cake in the other hand. You were living your best life.

Yeah, yeah. Or not. I feel a lot better now. I'm sure you do feel a lot better. So this is a... Sorry, sorry, sorry. So yeah, my glucose levels are just dipping nicely. Yeah.

Genuinely don't love overly sweet things, not because of the diabetes, but because I love more bitter things. I'm a chocolate fiend. I always have chocolate with me. I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend.

I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend. I'm a chocolate fiend. I genuinely don't love overly sweet things, not because of the diabetes, but because I love more bitter things. I'm a chocolate fiend. I always have chocolate with me. It's usually 80%, sometimes 90%. I have a chocolate drawer in my house.

I have a production company. Was that Lancashire's idea or your idea? That was actually not Lancashire's idea. You've got to get a chocolate drawer. You set fire to yourself. Thanks Lancashire. I was actually not that excited. You've got to get a chocolate drawer. Yeah, it's embarrassing. You set fire to yourself. Thanks Lancashire!

Any final words? Your bar of 80% melting in your pocket. Someone get the bar! Yeah, I have a chocolate drawer and I have all different types of chocolate in there. I have the lighter dairy ones for the guests, but for me it's like 80%, 85% or 90. And I have 99% there. I love it. So my dessert will be like a sort of chocolate mousse, but thick, not too much air in it

with 80% minimum cocoa and a little bit of chili, a little bit of chili flavor. Maybe even like a kind of like those sort of husks chocolate, you know, like a sort of kernel or husk whatever they're called. Like the cacao nibs. Yeah, the cacao nibs. Gives a bit of texture, a bit of crunch. And then with it, a sweeter, like a vanilla gelato or ice cream.

And then again, like a kind of coulis, like a raspberry fruit sort of bit more bitter cuts through the sweetness. This is good. Bitterness, a little bit of sweetness. A little bit of sweetness. Little bit of sweetness, yeah. I went through a real cacao nib phase. Did you?

Yeah, big time. Bought a whole sack of them basically. Did you? The actual? Yeah, straight on yogurt with raspberries. Really good. Is it? That's interesting.

You weren't eating them on their own as well. Oh yeah, that sounds fantastic. Yeah, really dark and like big and, you know, like somewhere between a mousse and a, yeah, I don't know. You know what I mean? Yeah. Almost like it's almost not a mousse. It's almost like a kind of not ice cream ice cream. It's almost like a cremeur.

Cremeur. You guys are, this is what you are good at is knowing the words. And can I have, can I have a coffee please with it? Yeah. Yes. I'd love, I'd love an Americano with some extra hot milk please. Absolutely. No problem. That's my coffee order. I sometimes think I'm the guy who has a coffee at the end of a meal.

And then I realized I'm a guy who has an espresso martini at the end of a meal. Well, I was going to say, am I allowed to grab her as well? Yeah. I love to just Steve. I keep asking you, I'm allowed. And you're like, yeah. We love hearing this kind of stuff, to be honest. And also I want something, there's something specific about the dessert, which is that

if I'm ordering a coffee with the dessert, I have to specify often in the restaurant, so I'm going to specify to you guys, please can they come at the same time? Or the coffee just fractionally after the dessert to wash it out. But often you order the coffee and the dessert at the same time, they bring the coffee, it's either cold or you finished it and then the dessert comes and then it's just like, it drives me insane. So I especially with the chocolate dessert, there's nothing I like more than eating some chocolate chocolatey dessert and then a sip of coffee that washes the inside of the mouth out and then you're making mouth mocker.

They were meant to be together. Yeah. Like James and Ed, they were meant to be. And then and then the grappler after as a dessert to just see. Lovely. I'm in a big affogato phase at the minute. If I see it on the menu, I'm like, well, that's my decision made. I don't have to decide on a dessert and a coffee.

I'll just have that. And then I'm just under like... Do you worry about the caffeine though? Because here I am saying a coffee because I'm in the dream menu and I'm on a beach. I really got on top. I've had, you know, big into coffee recently. It's a recent thing for me. Definitely was noticing the effects it was having on my system as the day went on. I was like, I feel like I'm vibrating. I need to go on top of this.

Uh, about a month and a half ago, I just completely cut it out. Wasn't doing it at all for a few weeks. Went to America for a bit. Started having one every third day, whatever. Got back from America, had jet lag, went, oh, I don't need to drink all the time. And now I'm back just to, that's it. I'm not having two or three a day. Two or three a day. And I need to, I need to rein it in again. But it's not the time for people listening. We were recording this in December. Absolutely the worst time to go. I am now going to get on top of anything. Yeah. Drinking too much caffeine, drinking in general, desserts, all that stuff. This is not the time to get on top of it.

No, it's the time to ramp it up. I made your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it. You like sparkling water? Definitely. You want steaming hot sourdough with salted butter, truffle butter and the genie's choice of butter. I'm choosing that Marmite better that I had once. Delicious.

Truffle butter. You would like a snacks hack. That is oysters from Collins say Collins say and you want to smoke almonds on the table as well. You want the best steamed asparagus in the world with the best Parmesan in the world, best olive oil in the world, best pine nuts in the world and a tiny Scotch egg. So weird. Such a weird addition. A wood flame grilled halibut steak, prawns, scallops and fruity salsa and lime on the beach, on the best beach in Jamaica that you've ever been to.

Thank you. Side dish, you would like a salad with lettuce, avocado, seeds, your favorite, pine nuts and you would like fries with ketchup, mayo, just in case, vinegar and Tabasco. Your drink, you would like a Casabelfi Bianco Friesante. Your dessert, you would like chocolate mousse, well kind of a mousse, but maybe a, what would you say? A cremeur maybe? A cremeur maybe.

At least 80% cocoa with a chili, cacao nibs, vanilla gelato and raspberry coulis. And you would like the coffee to come out at the same time and grappa as well. Fuck yeah. I feel good about that. Yeah, that's really good. You feel really good about that? Yeah. When you go back into the office and you talk to the people you've been talking about this podcast to, are you going to say, I did it, I nailed it?

I feel great. I feel like I had my shot and, you know, I delivered. Well, that sounded on the way home. That's a good way to feel. I guarantee you, you're not going to feel like I had my shot and, you know, I delivered. Well, on the way home, I guarantee you, you're not going to feel like that. No, of course. As soon as I step out of the restaurant, I'm going to be calling both of you with frantic texts saying, I can't have the grata, that beast, I should have got that beast. With the word beast over and over again texted to us. That's true. Thanks for coming to the Dream Restaurant, James.

It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you for having me. Thanks for coming to the dream restaurant James. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you James. Well there we are James, a wonderful chat with James Norton. I love that menu. He should be proud of that menu and happy with it. I hope he's able to sleep tonight and isn't just thinking about what he should have had. It was as close to perfection as one can get. We should always remember, perfection is impossible. Perfection is impossible. thinking about what you should have had. It was as close to perfection as one can get. Yes.

We should always remember perfection is impossible. Perfection is impossible. So do not beat yourself up. You're always striving for perfection. Don't beat yourself up guys. Don't beat yourself up. Just do the best you can. Just do the best you can.

You don't have to be perfect. No one's perfect. And it should also, that's genuinely a tenet that I have to remind myself of with glucose levels in diabetes. Yeah. Perfection is impossible. Something will always come along.

You just got to roll with the punches. And of course, today's episode was in partnership with Dexcom. And if you or someone you know is living with type 1 or type 2 diabetes and you like the sound of Dexcom, you can take a look online at dexcom.com and request a free Dexcom 1 plus sample. Dexcom sensors are available on the NHS for some people living with diabetes and also are available to buy online. Always read the user manual for important product aspects and limitations. Talk to your doctor for diabetes management.

Terms and conditions and terms of use apply. And I always say that at the end of an episode. Yes, yeah, it's a common catchphrase of the podcast. I get shouted at me in the streets, not even my catchphrase. Terms and conditions and terms of use apply, they say. Yeah, I said shouted at me in the streets, not even my catchphrase. Yeah, terms and conditions in terms of you supply they say. Yeah, I said, not me. Or bread. Also, what we've been told to say by the people at Dexcom is that James Norton did not choose

a Nature Valley bar. Yes. So that means we are not going to kick him out of the restaurant. Yeah, correct. Look, James Norton has a wonderful body of work, which you must all go and watch immediately. Yes, even though we kind of semi-spoilt the end of Happy Valley for you, but just forget what we were riffing on and just watch it with a fresh mind. Yes, absolutely.

See you next time, guys. Bye bye. Hello, I'm Harriet Kemsley. And I'm Amy Gladhill. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show.

And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm a fan of the show. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. And I'm Amy Gledhill. You might remember us from our Off Menu episodes. For example, when I was on there, I talked about seaweed in mash and James and Ed rang my mum. And I talked about how I had a phobia of bananas and somebody has added it to my Wikipedia

page. Thank you. But we've not come on here to tell you about bananas and seaweed. We've come to tell you about our podcast, Single Ladies in Your Area. Me and Amy found ourselves single in our 30s and had to go back into the dating landscape. And it's hard for Harriet because if anyone Googles her and finds her Wikipedia, they know she's ph full of bananas. They think, what a freak. Even worse if they listen to the whole episode, people have described it as bat shit.

But in Single Ladies in Your Area, we get on experts to tell us what we should be doing. We're learning from experts, we're learning from friends, we're learning from comedians and people from all over the bloody shop. That's Single Ladies in your area out every Friday wherever you get your podcasts.