Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 39: Mike Skinner

Episode Date: November 13, 2019

There's a table booked for The Streets frontman Mike Skinner this week. Will he pick plenty of scrambled eggs and plenty of fried tomato? Let's ask Carl Jung…Recorded by Ben Williams and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Mike Skinner has new music coming soon. Follow Mike on Twitter: @MikeSkinnerLtd.Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Ed Gamble is on tour, including a date at the Shepherd's Bush Empire. See his website for full details.James Acaster is on tour. See his website for full details.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy, now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast. If it's not delivered within 30 minutes or less, you get your money back. Convenient. Convenient, like a food delivery, James? We're all a winner. We're all a winner.

Sometimes, I don't know, but you try and slow the delivery man down. Do you? Yeah. Do an obstacle course all the way through the hallways, so we can't get to the my door in time. Within your flat, within the block of flats, rather than within your actual flat. Yeah, within the block of flats. I've got an obstacle course. I'll swap all the numbers on all the doors in the flats, so it gets to the wrong one first. I hide my doorbells, so we can't forget.

How do you hide your doorbell? I just take it up, unscrew it, and then I hide it under the door mat. Last place to check. It seems quite inconvenient for you, all of this. Free insert. Free Tucker. Well, welcome to the Off Menu podcast. I'm Ed Gamble. That man over there is James A. Caster. Say hello, James. Eating for free.

Now, we are here to talk to a special guest in their dream restaurant about their perfect meal, which consists of James. Favourite ever? Start a main course dessert, side dish, and drink. Not in that order. And our special guest this week is the one and only Michael Skinner. Michael Skinner, is it? Mike Skinner. So we'll go with the formal Michael now, and hopefully we get to know him during the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He can be Mike after. His manager calls him Michael at the end of when you wasn't famous. Yes. Oh, by the way, James is such a little fanboy. He's so excited. I love the streets. I love. What? Do I love Mike Skinner? Not met him. Not met him yet? I bet I love him. I bet you love him. I love the streets, though.

And James loves the street so much that this week we always have a secret ingredient, where if the guest mentions it, they get removed from the restaurant. But this week, the secret ingredient is streets themed, James. Plenty of fried tomato. If Mike Skinner mentions plenty of fried tomato in his meal, he will be removed from the restaurant and we'll do it. Especially if he has plenty of scrambled eggs and plenty of fried tomato, then it's a double kick out.

Yeah, see you later. And if he does that, I'm going to say this. I'm going to say, get out. Get out there on the streets. Oh, and that will burn him so bad. I hope he does say that now. Oh, I hope you get to say that to him. And even though I'm really excited to have him on the podcast, it'd be so good if you go get out on the streets.

I used to have a joke about the streets. Did you? It was an open spot. Did you? I slept on the streets last night. Fortunately, Mike Skinner was surprisingly comfortable. Oh, I like it. The Bonito's clapping.

Bonito loves it. Yeah. Rarely get a clap from Bonito. No, that's true. That's true. He loved that. A tip of the cap from the Pharaoh. I really enjoyed that joke, James.

Yes. Because you could see, if you were doing it as an open spot, the choice of language and the way you delivered it, you could see you were going to be good. But let's be honest, the joke itself is poor. Oh, the joke itself is like, well, I mean, what really sleeping on Mike Skinner doesn't really make sense at all. Doesn't really, I mean, using him as a mattress.

Yes. And well, the mattress is on his way in, so we better get going. Look, don't call him the mattress to his face. Please try not to. Remember that. Don't call him the mattress. Here we go. Mark Skinner, baby.

Mark Skinner, baby. Here's the off-menu-menu of the mattress. Ah, damn it. Oh, no way. Welcome, Mike Skinner, to the Dream Restaurant. That's the genie. There's a genie way to this dream restaurant. The young Ian, is this, you know, literal dream or?

Well, it's... What do you mean by little dream? Like it's not... I mean, there isn't such a thing, is there? Yeah, yeah. No, because as soon as it's literal. I meant to put restaurant on the end of dream. Right, OK.

And using dream as like good, you know? Yeah, good. I think it's good. But Kyle Young, you know, he went, he liked to go underground, didn't he? Did he? Well, dreaming, certainly, yeah. I mean, not anything else, not restaurants.

We've not confronted whether this is a young Ian dream restaurant, have we? No, we haven't. We haven't sorted that out. We're taking dream in its most... I guess because it's, you know, because it's your dream restaurant, really. Yeah, it can be one of the young Ian,

or it can just be good. Yeah, it can make it good. What do you mean you dream underground? Like a little... Well, dreams are, you know, under, you know, your subconscious is under what you act. And then above that, you sort of think about those acts. And then finally, you talk about those acts.

Yeah. That's the evolution of man. So where's the... In those few stages, where does the dream... Well, you don't know what you're thinking. That's what Kyle Young said. Oh, you never know what you're thinking. You don't know what you're thinking.

And you do stuff sometimes. Do you ever do things? You don't know why you did them? Yep. All the time. All the time. Most things I do. Yeah?

Yeah. Just say a lot of stuff. I don't know why I said it. So is that, and that's the subconscious coming to the fore, is it? Yeah. So the dream restaurant could be a representation of your subconscious, or it could just be a nice restaurant?

I mean, without even... Even if it was just a good restaurant, it would still represent your subconscious. So... Whether or not you wanted it to or not. So straight away, in your dream restaurant, what are you seeing? What's the first thing you see when you walk in?

Sort of black. Just blackness. OK, so here's the subconscious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a black... Yeah. Just blackness and formless as well. Yeah.

Formless or... Sort of a black slug? I wouldn't go so far as to say formless. I'd say certainly curved. OK, that's OK. Yeah. So we're in a black curve. Yeah.

No, there's... Yeah, I mean... Any seats? I like... OK, so, you know, I was maybe playing... You know, playing for gags there a little bit, but... But, you know, you're a comedian. Yep.

So... But no, I do like dark spaces. Dark spaces. With music that you can talk over. OK. Very important. Yeah, yeah. And actually, people that you can talk over as well.

I was in a juice... Joe and the Juice. You've been to Joe and the Juice before? I have been to those sorts of places. I like a spicy tuna panini. Oh, yeah, sure. When I'm on a cheat day. Yeah.

Which is every day. Yeah, no better cheat than a spicy tuna panini. Always cheating. And the music in there, I would say... Well, I was... It's dance music. I was about to take credit for this. My girlfriend pointed out that the music...

She said it's a bit loud for juicer. No, it's like being an Ibiza, Joe and the Juice. I've noticed that. Yeah, way too loud. Particularly in Stanstad Airport, because they have one in Stanstad. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. So, Juice should be quiet music, really, shouldn't it?

Well, but that's the amazing thing about Joe and the Juice, isn't there? Yeah, they just... So loud for Juice. Who's sponsor this podcast? Yeah, they're the sponsor, yeah, yeah, yeah. We mentioned them a lot. Squarespace, do you want me to talk about? Yeah, the Squarespace.

If I was going to build a website for Joe and the Juice... Yeah, yeah, yeah. ...beat me on Squarespace. With... What's the email one? Gorilla Boy or whatever it's called? Monkey Dad. Monkey Dad Gorilla Boy.

Is it... What is it? No, hang on, no, we're not doing this. I want Mike to continue to guess what it's called. Your way to guess to Gibbon Nephew or something. You mentioned Joe and the Juice in Stanstad Airport, which reminded me of... I met a man once, who's his favourite restaurant in the world,

was the Carlutio's at Heathrow. I hate that. I really hate that. Yeah. No, can I tell you why I hate that? Yeah. Because it's before you go through the gate. Yeah.

And who eats? Who's eating? Yeah, exactly. Who gets to airport and goes, you know what? I don't care how long the queue's going to be. I've got no anxiety about whether someone might, you know, find something on my person and choose to search me,

annually. Yeah. I'm just going to sit in Carlutio's outside the gate and really just throw, you know, caution to the wind, you know, and just eat my... Quite literally, if someone's going to search you, annually. You know, my fuselie and my robust Malbec. And just not give a shit about the fact

that there's a plane there that might take off without me. Here's the truly mind-blowing thing about this. So that guy, fuck that guy. Yeah, but here's the guy. The guy wasn't going on a flight. That's the mind-blowing thing. He would travel to Heathrow, eat in the Carlutio's

and then go back home with his truth. But now we're cooking with gas. This guy would take his family there. So he'd take his wife and two kids to Heathrow just to go to the Carlutio's at Heathrow because it's his favourite Carlutio's. And he liked looking at the planes, right? I don't know if he...

You don't see the planes, bro. You don't see the planes from the Carlutio's, bro. He never said that he liked looking at the planes, that guy. There's no windows. Yeah, no windows. Your dream restaurant. Yeah. Completely black in there.

You can be black with windows. Yeah. But it would just need to be black outside as well. I mean, there would have to be very little light pollution. You'd have to be in sort of Southern India. Yeah. You know. So your dream restaurant is at Carlutio's in Southern India.

I'm, you know, I mean, listen, I've been to Carlutio's. Yes. Like all of us, you know. And it's great, you know. It does the job, doesn't it? It does the job. I thought I was about to say it. I mean, it's, yeah.

Black, curves, windows, very little light pollution. Bang, worry. I'm a cultured guy. Before we start, because you're doing a lot of traveling for your job, haven't you? You've seen the world. Yeah. Best airport food you've ever had.

Best meal you've ever had in an airport. Curveball question. Curveball question. But while we're on it. I once had a really nice Aaron Cheney, which is a deep fried rice ball. Love it. In, I'm going to say Milan, actually, yeah.

Milan airport. Although it could have been Naples. But it was, that neck of the woods, you had a very nice Aaron Cheney. It was definitely Italy. Yeah. Lovely Aaron Cheney in an airport. Yeah.

Did you, it's claim on it. When you had it, were you like, this is the best thing I've ever had in an airport. I'm, yeah, I mean, food, I like food, yeah. We've not really, we normally we ask up top, are you a foodie? Do you consider yourself a foodie or is it more of a fuel situation? I don't think anyone has the right to claim

to be more of a foodie than anyone else. Interesting. It's not like, you know, sort of high end racing drones, is it? Or, you know, or a Byzantine, patterns, you know, it's food, everyone does it. You know, we all have to eat, right? Yeah.

So we're all foodies. So I, yeah, I say, I'm a foodie as much as you could ever be. Sure. So yeah, foodies as like, you talked about we're all foodies as in like, you know, just being anything that eats as a foodie. Yeah. A dog or foodie?

Well, I do know some foodie dogs. My dog is highly motivated by food. Yeah. Even more so than humans, most dogs. Not hugely fussy. Yes. Highly motivated by food. Yeah.

There's another dog I know. Yeah. That dog, very difficult to get it to eat. Really? To the point where it's owner. Fry's chicken in the morning. Right. Deep fry.

Or does a separate delivery for the dog? Really? Yeah. So I'm having, let's say, Arancini, you know, from Carluchio's. Yeah. Not as good as the Milan Airport. The Milan Airport.

But you know, Heathrow Airport, Milan Airport. Airport Arancini is Airport Arancini. Come on. Yeah. Come on. Airport Arancini. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, the dog that I know has a meal cooked

or delivered. So are you saying that the dog who has a human meal delivered to it is less of a foodie than the dog that is just motivated by foodie will eat anything? I just simply playing devil's advocate. Sure. You tell me.

Interesting debate, isn't it? I mean, you know. There's one that gets delivered to a pretty picky dog. Yeah. But there's one that's more motivated by food. I mean, arguably, really, that dog doesn't like food. Doesn't like food. But it has to have a human meal.

Yeah. My dog really just, you know, anything. This loves it. Absolutely loves it. What are they getting on the liberation of the dog? Chicken feet, you know. Chicken feet. Chicken feet.

Chicken feet. Chicken feet. Chicken feet. Chicken feet. All that stuff and the pellets, you know. Yeah. You put some pellet balls. You shouldn't give a dog chocolate, though, or grapes.

You know that. That's poisonous for dogs. Madness. Madness. I knew about chocolate. I didn't know about grapes. Well, do you own a dog? No.

Why are we even talking about it then? Because I've got it. You have no experience of the subject. You would say it. You're asking, quite frankly, a professional. Yeah. That's how you learned in life. I think even if you don't have a dog,

you should know instinctively not to give a dog grapes. And you should always play tennis with someone who's better than you. Right. Yeah, that's true. Is that what I'm doing now? This is a metaphor. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're with a really good tennis player right now. We're a great tennis player. I've owned a dog. Yeah. I'm returning every shot.

You are. You're the Nandala of owning a dog. I'm swinging wildly in the wind, but I haven't hit a single ball. Oh. Yeah, that's true. But I just didn't know the grape thing. No, but I didn't know the grape thing,

but if I think about it deep down, I did. I mean, when I had a dog as a kid, we didn't know any of this, you know, grapes, chocolate. No. None of that. I think how many dogs were lost to the grape and chocolate. Well, I don't remember any dogs dying because, I mean. But you didn't know at the time.

They might, that might be why all those dogs were dying. I just think the world's gone politically correct, you know. Yeah, yeah. The grape has gone mad. Can't even give a grape to a dog these days. Would you like still or sparkling water, mate? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Get that clean, Joe.

Mitch Brudel. Still or sparkling? Mitch Brudel! Mitch Brudel! What are you saying? Mitch Brudel? With bubbles. Oh, is that what it is?

Yeah. Fantastisch. That's lovely. So, So, Now, where have you learnt this? That was Japanese. So, do you learn bits of language everywhere you go?

No. So, Just Germany and Japan. Just Germany and Japan, at least. They're the best. You know, sparkling water in three languages. I love Germany. Yes.

I love Germany. Been there a lot? Loads. Where's the best place to go? Yeah, sometimes more than the UK. We've done tours that have been bigger in, or more dates in Germany than in the UK. Oh, really?

I don't know why that is, but we tend to do more festivals in the UK. Are you surprised by that? Because, obviously, you, especially to begin, actually, always, made sure it's quite UK-centric, your lyrics and stuff like that. Is it surprising when places like Germany...

I mean, yeah, at the very beginning it was, but I think, as you get older, you realise that being specific is a way of sort of being general, in a way, you know. Yeah, now, people just want authenticity, you know. If I'm listening to like a German rapper, I want to hear really what it is like in Strasbourg,

which is not in Germany, you know. It's just sort of near Germany. But he could visit. Frankfurt. He could have visited, couldn't he? Yeah, yeah, visited. It could have been a song about his holiday. You're right, no one's listening to like...

I'm a German in Strasbourg. Do I really feel... That was walking in Memphis, wasn't it? I was... You see what I did there? You've taken me to three different places in one line there. So sparkling water, Mike, that's always your choice, is it? Yeah, I mean, it reminds me of being really thirsty.

Sparkling water. And I think that's good. Because I've often woken up in the middle of the night having drank, drunk, drank all of the still water. In a hotel or something, yeah. In a hotel, and it's like you're so thirsty that I'm just going to hit the... Hit the sprudel, yeah?

So you pop a cap. And weirdly, the fizz and the hydration just is... And you learn to love that. You learn to love it. Yeah. You know, you learn. Yeah. And then weirdly, it's like, because it's a last resort,

weirdly then when you're in a restaurant and maybe you've got a music video to get ready for and you can't be drinking Stella Artois or even Chassez Montchachet. Stella Artois, Chassez Montchachet, a robust Malbec. Sometimes it's got to be sparkling water. The sprudel is a nice replacement. And at that point, you can go from feeling like this is really not fun to...

This reminds me of that time when I was desperately thirsty and this stuff saved my life. So you're sort of thinking if you can't have a Stella Artois and you'll have a sprudel, it's like a sort of flavourless lager, really, isn't it? Yeah. I never see it as a flavourless lager. Although I did try to put fizzy water into an espresso machine once.

What? And that doesn't really work, but it kind of tastes like the champagne of coffee. Oh, is that what it was like? Yeah. I've had a fizzy coffee before. It was by accident. It didn't really work for me, I'll be honest.

But I'll try it again and think of it as the champagne of coffee. I think it's going to work. Where were you when you did this fizzy coffee? In Stockwell. You were in Stockwell? Yeah. I used to live in Stockwell. Okay.

So you drank in the Canton Arms? I have drank in the Canton Arms. You don't drink, do you? I do. Well, no, I do. Yeah, but I'm a big boy. I spent a lot of time DJing, right? And I think that's probably more similar to being a comedian

than being a musician. Yeah. How so? Well, you're more alone. Sure. When you tour, how do you tour? I just do two hours on my own and my tour manager's with me. So what I mean is, is the travel.

I don't care about the gig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The travel is two of you. Two of us, yeah, yeah. Okay. In a car. In a car. We both control the heat on each side.

You've got too much money. You've got too much money. You make your life too easy. Yeah. Not you. One makes one's life too easy. Do you think you've gone through that? You've made your life too easy and then had to make it hard again?

Yes. Yes. Yeah. That's more of a solo pursuit, I guess. Yeah, I never had a tour manager for my DJing. Sometimes I should have. But I kind of, the reason I DJed was to sort of like be, I guess to be independent and to sort of really,

I guess like get into music again, you know. Like, I mean, a bit like you, you know, listening to all that music and sort of yourself out and shit. Yeah, rediscover it all again and getting connected with it. Do you find that like you can't listen, you can't watch comedy like just for joy? Oh yeah, I would probably for joy. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Because I'm quite bad at listening to music for joy. Oh really? Because I tend to sort of think about like the snare drum. Right, yeah, sure. And I'm like, probably, I don't know, if I was mixing this. Yeah. Do it differently. I have a thing.

I think I enjoy watching comedy that's so far away from my own. Yeah. So if I go and watch someone who's just doing stand-up like me, I'm like, I am overthinking it and thinking about the, whatever, the snare drum in. And what is far away from you? Weird shit. Yeah.

Like or sketch comedy or like weird character stuff, anything that's so far away, it's not comparable. And then I can just relax and enjoy it. Pop-a-doms or bread? Pop-a-doms or bread, Mike? Pop-a-doms or bread? Pop-a-doms or bread? Yeah, that's the choice.

Okay. I'm going to go with bread. Bread. Although, you know, I'm kind of a brummy, so. Yeah. Sorry. That's what, yeah. A few people, I think, were anticipating Pop-a-doms.

Yeah, they were. They were like, that guy likes a Balti. Yeah, surely they'd say Pop-a-doms. I would also think like, if I was to think which one of those two would most likely get a shout out on one of your songs, you would say Pop-a-doms because it's more lyrically pleasing. It's more fun to fit into a rap or something Pop-a-doms. Yeah.

Don't you think? Rather than shouting out bread. Although, which one? Have you shouted out either of them before? I definitely haven't said Pop-a-dom in a song. No. Definitely. Well, I'm 99% sure.

Yeah. That seems a shame. I can never be completely sure. People have played me, read out the lyrics to old songs of mine. It was in a quiz, actually. Yeah. Read out the lyrics to my own song. Didn't know who's it was.

Ah. Yeah. Old trick in the book. So, for that reason, I'm not 100%. Yes. But I think something would just go bing, you know, if I'd have used Pop-a-dom in a song. I'm trying to think.

No, I'm pretty sure. I've never used Pop-a-dom. Bread. I'm probably 50% sure I've never said bread in a song. I don't think it would be considered shouting out bread. You know. It was just mentioned in it. Yeah.

It was not like shout-out to bread. It's not like shout-out to bread. No. There's been two shout-outs on this podcast of Robust Malbecs. Yeah, they have. You're clearly a fan of a Robust Malbec. I'm going to go for three. Yeah.

I'm a bit gutted that you've spotted this pattern. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing that thing that you guys do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like go, don't do that. And right there, I'm going to be like, like a Robust Malbec. Yeah, yeah.

And you're going to be like, my God, he was genius. I just thought he kept saying Robust Malbec. Yeah. So we've spotted the snare drum. Yeah. That's what it is. And this is why you can't enjoy my performance.

You've done that stuff before in the past anyway. You do it on a... The final track on Granite Cover 3, you do that. I mean, yeah. You repeat it. It was an accident. Repeat certain phrases. No, it wasn't an accident.

Don't make out it was an accident, Mike. I know an accident when I see one. Do you? Yeah. What's an accident? What's the last accident you saw? What's the last accident I saw? I saw my friend, Nish Kumar,

try and jump over a fence and mess it up. Yeah, it was very funny. I was there too. He was trying to jump over it properly and then he messed up and he landed really hard on his side. Didn't do that on purpose. And alcohol?

No. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To be fair to him. But you also went over the fence badly

and you hadn't had a drink. Yeah, that was an accident. Yeah, that was an accident. I hadn't had a drink. I mean, comedians and DJs, I find they either drink or they bloody well don't drink. Sure.

You know, and I think there's, you know, it's like basically being like traveling salesman, isn't it? You can get quite sad, you know. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you reach for the red wine. Yeah.

You know. It's always red wine as well. And it's always a little Shiraz. Oh, yeah. He did. He got us. I feel like a mouse caught in the trap. Right.

I'm going to get this back on track. What sort of bread, Mike? Any particular sort of bread? Well, I just did one of those injection things on the internet and it told me that I was gluten intolerant. Whoa, big, big news. So I don't, I generally try not to have gluten,

but fuck it. Yeah. Well, also it's the dream restaurant. So if we can sort of, we can avoid some of the side effects, I think. Okay. If you like the dream. But hang on, hang on, hang on.

We talking about a starter or we talking about bread? No, no, no, no. Because fucking don't fucking. I'm not, I'm not going to. I'm not going to do that. Because I would not choose bread. No.

I'm going to start. This is an extra thing. Don't worry. It's not tricking you to make it pop at home so a bread just start. Yeah. That's just deceitful. I'm going to go for sourdough.

Yes. Because it's kind of less gluten in it. It's got a different like culture in that. But it still kind of tastes as good as like white bread. Because let's be honest. We just want white bread, don't we? Right. I forgot.

Multi grain brown bread. No one likes that. No, you're lying. You're lying to yourself. Carl Jung. He would, he would take you to pieces. Would he? Yeah.

Can we book him on the pod? He's dead. Bad luck. Who's laughing now, Carl Jung? You can make out that he's going to get one over on me. I'm not dead, am I? So who's smarter? I think given the, given the choice.

At this point in time, you are way smarter than even Einstein. Yeah, you're doing better than Einstein, mate. Smarter than a mole. He wore the same suit every day, you know, just like me and Johnny Cash. Hold on, you wear the same suit every day? I don't wear a suit.

But you wear the same clothes every day, yeah. Do you buy the exact same thing over and over? Yeah. So you've got, what we're looking at now, you own those exact things multiple times. Yeah. Why? I just, it's easy to pack.

Okay. Yeah. So because you're moving around a lot, you want the same outfit. It removes the decision from your life, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Like Steve Jobs.

Yeah, like Steve Jobs. I mean, you know, people have said that I remind them of Steve Jobs, you know, and I don't get offended by that. No. You're doing better than Steve Jobs, James. Yeah, I'm doing better than Steve Jobs. You are...

Einstein. Ed. Doing pretty well. Winning in this game. Interesting. Yeah. So like, it's pretty much, you're pretty much all in black, aren't you?

Pretty much. Pretty much. Pretty much. That's every day. Every day, yeah. When you see people like, like for more than one day in a row. Yeah.

And you don't know them very well. Do you feel like at some point you have to say to them, by the way, this is like... No, I've never had the conversation. This is not... But people kind of know it, you know. They know. Yeah.

No one's ever mentioned it. The children mention it, you know. Yeah. But it's been their whole lives. So they don't... Yeah. Well, they're there in their grey uniforms, aren't they? That you make them wear every day?

Yeah. The grey onesies that you've dressed up in. One day. One day you could wear a Hawaiian shirt and just blow their minds. They won't recognize you. Imagine it. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it's almost like, it goes so far then. You go so far into this thing, that it actually would be harder to not do it, rather than do it. So it's not like every day I think, well, I'm going to wear black because, because, you know, it's like I only have black stuff. So for me to say,

I'm going to put on a pink shirt, it would just... That would be more weird than wearing black every day. Going out of your way. And also, people would be like, oh my god. I mean, the people I know, they'd be like, oh my god, why are you wearing a pink shirt? And I don't want to have that conversation.

Sure. I just want to just, you know, smoke and fuck and drink. Yeah. And wear black. And just party and bullshit, you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what are you thinking about what you're wearing?

For your starter, Mike. Yes. So your starter now, we have not tricked you. We're not making you have bread as your starter. Yeah. That's, that's, you got that bread, that's a bonus. Yeah. That's in the bag.

The sourdough's in the bag. It's a freebie. What would you like for your starter? A cushy punch. What? So, um, so cushy punch is a very famous Californian weed edible. Ah. Um, I'm not into weed.

Yes. Makes me think that I left the iron on. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah, sure. What? I don't mean, it makes you paranoid.

Huh? It makes you paranoid. Yeah, it makes me think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something, something. Did I put the alarm on? Yeah, yeah. I know, I know that exact feeling.

You know? Yeah. Don't like that feeling. You don't like weed, however. So, however, I don't like weed, but, um, cushy punch. Yes. Do a, uh, indica only one. So there's like, apparently there's like two things, uh, sativa.

Uh-huh. Indica is like in weed. Yes. And it's sativa that makes you think you left the iron on. Uh-huh. Okay. Uh-huh. Someone in California has very, uh, generously removed the, did I leave the iron on factor

from weed? Yeah. Yeah. And put it into a edible, a jelly. Uh-huh. And just left the indica bit, which is the sort of like bodily sort of thing where you just go, I don't care about the iron. Yeah.

Yeah. It might be on, but fuck it. You know? So, yeah. And so, yeah. And it also, as well, just makes you really enjoy food. Oh, it actually really gives you up for the rest of the meal as well. That's clever.

You'll be unsurprised to learn that you're the first person to pick a weed edible as their starter. Yeah. Even though no one's picked it yet, it is 100% what all the listeners thought you're going to pick. No, it's fine. Uh, that's good. No one's surprised?

Yes. Um. Come on, James. Tell us about all your, uh, your drugs experiences. I've done, I've never done any drugs. Well, you have. Oh yeah. Anyway, yes.

Yeah. Heroic. Alcohol, coffee, all stuff like that. Yeah. Of course I have, yeah. Ever had an operation? Uh. Ever been anesthetized?

Have I? I think so, yeah. Yeah. So, I have. Yeah. I have, yeah. Well, we'll do, I'm familiar with this chat. Yeah.

I've done, I've done drugs. Um, actually, air is a drug because everyone's addicted to it. Yeah. There you go. There you go. Air is a drug. That's one of my opinions I have. Yeah.

Um. Ever drunk water? Yeah, yeah. Good point, actually, water. Good point. Water's a drug. Female birth control pill. Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. That's not why I thought you were going with it, but. Maybe only trace elements, but. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I can see the, the, uh, the boobs are developing nicely. Yeah.

Thank you very much, mate. Thank you very much. You got your eye on those for your dessert. So, the starter is to sort of gear you up for the rest of the meal, really. So, it's just going to frame the meal nicely. I think so. Yeah. I think so.

Thank you. You're hungry. Is it, does it have a flavor? This, this? Uh, yeah. Something like me. Yeah. No, they do.

I think the ones I get are like mango, you know. You're going to get a mango. Which, you know. Punchy-cush, did you say? Cushy-punch. Cushy-punch. Cushy-punch. Yeah.

Punchy-cush. That's proper. Don't, don't touch the punchy-cush. That's really showing how much of a square I am. But I'll go in. Do you have a punchy-cush? For my friend, Mike? That's the one that makes you think you left the iron on the punchy-cush.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't go near that. The punchy-cush is awful stuff. Punchy-cush is just like, you just feel like you're, you just imagine someone. Yeah. Beating up a cushion. A mango-cushy-punch. A mango-cushy-punch for a starter.

Sort of jelly. Yeah. Um. And how long does that take to kick in? Yeah. That's, that's going to be like 20 minutes. So we'll hold off bringing your main for 20 minutes. Yeah.

What's that thing they do in the restaurant, you know, where they just do that like random check and you've always got a mouthful of food, haven't you? Oh, yeah. They come over and say, you know. Everything all right? Well, you're either having the best bit of your conversation. Yeah. If you, if you're with someone.

Yeah. But I often eat alone. Yeah. And I've usually, I'm usually like watching like something on YouTube, you know. You can watch that in the restaurant. We can have a laptop there for you. Oh, yeah. We can pop, watch your favorite YouTube video.

We'll pop it on the big screen. Wow. Wow. What's your favorite YouTube video? Do you know what? There's a few that I like. And I'm quite into like, um, well, I'm into ASMR quite a lot. Wow.

I watch that to relax. Wow. Yeah. So keep keyboard tapping. Leaves. Well, there's one. It's just this guy doing mesmerism on another guy. Yeah.

Where it's just like, just touching different parts of his body and making it relaxed. And then it makes me feel really relaxed. And I've probably, if you- Absolute pervert. Yep. What's not- It is. But that's what it is.

ASMR is just per- It's not pervy. It is. It's perv stuff. There are some pervy ones. But I don't- No. No.

There are ones with like hot girls, which, you know, I think- I don't watch those ones. No, thank you. Yeah. Hey, no. And I think it's a bit lazy to just use, you know, um, female sexual attraction. In an ASMR video, yeah. But no, absolutely, ASMR is not sexy.

Thank you. Right. But that's- I mean, we sexualize everything. Don't we? We sexualize, you know, Grand Prix racing. Do we? You know, on the track-

Oh, I thought you meant just the cars going round. I thought that might just be you. That's phallic. Carl Jung, actually. There he is. He would take Grand Prix to pieces, Carl Jung. Absolutely destroy it. My favorite YouTube video is a little-

There's a little girl scout singing about what cookie she sold. And then she's swinging on the kitchen countertop. And then she falls forward and smashes her face on the counter. Yeah, I'll change my answer to that, actually. I've seen that. It's funny. Not as relaxing as the ASMR though. It is good.

But it is funny. And I know it sounds bad, Mike, but what's funny about it is that you know at the start of the video that she's going to fall over because it's in the title of the video. And so you're watching it, expecting it to happen. And there's a point where she's doing a victory dance because she's sold so many cookies. And you think, here we go, she's about to fall. And she doesn't fall. And then she just sits back and goes, I sold 60.

And then she falls. And it's funny that it happens at that point. It is good. Yeah. I mean, you know, you're comedians, aren't you? So sure. It's laughing at everything. Yeah.

Chocolate in a way. But what's your one though? To put up in the dream restaurant, if you want to put it, it doesn't have to be your all time favorite, but one that you'd like to watch while you're having your meal. So the cushy punches, it's settling in. Yeah. You'll say 15 minutes in. We put on a YouTube video for you.

You're feeling cushy. Okay. I'm going to go with Rick James. Yeah. On the Dave Chappelle show. Yeah. With Eddie Murphy's brother. Yeah.

Shout out to that guy. Yeah. For the Prince one, where they play basketball. Yeah. Very funny. So you watch some Dave Chappelle show. We can put on a playlist. We'll put on a Chappelle show playlist.

You can watch all those. No. No. Okay. You said, what's your favorite YouTube video? Absolutely. That's what you said. You didn't say what's your favorite kind of, because to be honest, my favorite kind of

video is completely different. Okay. Okay. It's like sort of lectures. Right. About like the adaptive unconscious. Sure. Or, yeah, clinical psychology or something like that.

Yeah. Can I just say this? Absolutely not. If I was to choose a genre and would be, would not be Rick James on Dave Chappelle or those kinds of videos. I mean, it's probably the worst time to have an edible is when you've got a genie. In a black room. Yeah.

In a black room with a genie. This one is very odd now. The black room, the black curve. You said the black curve watching the lecture about the adaptive unconscious. So what a lovely starter, but 20 minutes later, your main course arrives. What is it? I'm going to have three impossible burgers. Great.

I've got so much respect for the multiple. Yeah. I've got a lot of questions about them all, but why three? Well, you know, one is never enough. I like my food. Yes. Maybe not as much as my dog. Yeah.

Obviously, you know, I think that meat will be illegal in about 50 years. We're either going to have to eat lab grown meat, but I think that's probably energy wise, probably going to be, well, at the moment, it seems almost as bad if not worse. So I think really we're going to have a plant based diet. I'm not a vegetarian. You're not a vegan vegetarian. I've been a vegan for a while. I don't like eating red meat because of the energy, but yeah, I'm, you know, I'm trying.

You're trying. Yeah. I'm trying. It seems when you're in a foreign country, it's hard. Yeah. It's getting easier here, I think. The impossible burger is mind blowing. Where has this impossible burger come from?

I had it in the Snazzy restaurant in LA when it came out, but you can get them. There's a chain in America that does them. Fat burger does them. Fat burger. But it's to do with the enzyme in blood. It tastes like blood. That's why it's good. So I saw a little big, big, big blood burger.

Mic's doing a face of me now for the listeners. I'm doing a face for radio. You did a face, you squashed your face up when you thought about the blood burger. How much you like it? Yeah, what else? Cause it's the impossible burger. I always hear about how it's a fake meat burger and it bleeds if you squeeze it. But what, the other elements, the bun and the salad or whatever, the sauce.

Are they good? So that's just yeah, I mean let's let's let's let's you know We need to talk about the vegan cheese on there as well That's all about the vegan cheese. Well, it you know, I mean, I don't know the science behind it I maybe should watch a lecture. Yeah about that right now. Yeah I've had my fair share of vegan cheese. Yeah, and this is Bloody good What makes it better because that some of us I guess vegan cheese would be a bit plasticky. Don't ask me ask Carl young

But what was the car on everything today vegan cheese? I think there's a very good impression of like burger cheese So I think yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes Vegan replacements for things are often really good versions of yeah, like a vegan cheddar is bad. Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah vegan blue cheese. Yeah bad, but yeah, you're right Yeah, the nail on the head. I think because in like in burger cheese. There's very little sort of cheese dairy anyway It's just a plasticky. So it's a good. It's a good version of it There's a really good vegan cheese called follow your heart Which is like slices of cheese and that's one that's like a pepper jack vegan slice, which is excellent pepper jack pepper jack

Are you vegan? No, I did it for a while, but now I'm just trying to I think like you. I'm just trying Yeah, trying to make good good decisions I think I think cutting out red meat is a is a is an essential or or trying to cut out red. Yeah, is Pretty Byron have got a very good vegan burger now It's not the impossible burger, but it's a version of it and it just tastes like a really like it tastes like a bird's-eye Like barbecued burger and when you want that sort of charcoal taste, it's really good because of all the young chat when you said by And I thought we were getting another quote Here we go. Someone else will take me to pieces Byron. Yeah, Lord Byron cooks a lovely vegan burger. Yeah

Yeah, he was just a fucking caner. There was no body. Yeah, Lord Byron. Yeah, will you have some Mary Shelley? She was she was she was all right Lord Byron. I don't bear Yeah, it was just a fucking waste man. You didn't like him If Terrible alcoholic was it. Yeah, big old boozer big time caner Had a bear. Yeah, and they were into, you know, Lord and hermanship like that and ether and stuff I'm not sure you can judge bearing in mind your starter. Yeah, I don't like weed. I don't like weed

Yeah, but you have to admit it's pretty natural Sure, yes, I mean leaving sugar to ferment is pretty natural Yeah, and there's an argument to be said that, you know We always did that and always needed to do that and there's something that alcohol Serves with to do with ripeness of fruit, you know, but we you know, we's pretty natural compared to say ether Ether or Or, you know, louden them, you know, which is Smack liquid smack basically, isn't it? Well, we might be hearing about that with the dessert. I just like boozing

You like boozing don't you James? I'll go out on the weekend. I like boozing Now you say the bit about weed will go back and forth for ages and then I'll say that I'm gonna batter you at the end So side dish anyway Korean chicken wings Korean chicken Yes because I think I'd like as a kind of a bridge in a lot of ways To sort of the African and Caribbean experience the idea that you must season your chicken

Yeah, yeah, this is important. Yeah unseasoned chicken is Really bad, you know, and you know and and the difference in buffet, you know joy from from us, you know from a sort of a Wedding where they don't season the chicken It's depressing unseasoned unseasoned chicken breast is the most depressing food. I can think yeah But chickens actually one of the most wonderful things delicious in the world and when it becomes illegal Yes, yeah, it's gonna be a sad day. I'll be dead. You will be dead

So the Korean chicken wing. Yeah, I had some Korean chicken wings the other night. Yeah, absolutely delicious Got the gotcha Jang the fermented chili paste on that. It's so good. Yeah Where are you getting them from? Do you make them yourself or is a specific now? I can't cook. No There's there's There's a pub that I go to sometimes But really, you know, there's there's there's a lot out there. There's a place called chicken chicken sours. Yeah. Yeah That's those are amazing. Yeah, I went to train sour the other day got a lot. I Overordered if I'm honest should be all over the water

And you like a whisky sour. Yeah, I do like a whisky sour. That was what was actually I kind of didn't really Drink until I had a whisky sour and then I it was a gateway because I look I mean like sweet things and puddings Yeah, it's a half way. I'm gonna get you some some loud in them actually some liquid. Yeah Yeah, throw me right in at the deep end of a loud and sour. This is why I interviewed Sean Ryder once and He was he was like this for me. It was like I'm gonna I Want to give you so much drugs in a He said to invite me out for a pie and then he he gave away what is what his plan was by going

I'm gonna put loads of drugs in the pie What I think he was probably joking now. He was trolling. He was trolling. He was trolling me He was he told me that people like me who People like you People like me who haven't like, you know done drugs as much as he has he said I'm gonna live longer than you Because you're gonna get into drugs when you're like 40 or 50. I mean, you know yourself in a year. You know what does happen I've definitely there's someone quite close to me Um, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah Scary in it But also, you know while I was talking to him, uh, he was chewing gum and it was a an absolute nightmare for him because he kept sticking to his teeth Yeah, uh while he was talking in his lips and he and he would it would kind of form a web between his two lips And then he would try and get in there with his hand But then his hand would come out and it'd have the chewing gum on it and he's like stopping he's kept on talking I'm fucking out. I like I like doing that the whole time with this kind of like Spiders web and you felt like Sigourney Weaver looking at

I to pretend it wasn't looking at the alien like that. Exactly. So he may live longer, but he has to live longer doing stuff like that Yeah, I to pretend it wasn't happening for the whole thing and go I threw a pint of Tony Wilson a fuck Fuck me Hang on. Hang on. Is that a mank accent? It's a mank with chewing gum in his mouth. I famously can't do accents, but I think I was pretty spot on that one John Mosten Yeah Commentating on football

No, no, no. Yeah, absolutely not Sounds it So we've got we've got Korean chicken excellent Korean chicken wings. Yeah bone daddies as well Oh, yeah, and I had some really good ones at eat 17 a couple of nights ago If there's a place in Birmingham or wherever you can recommend for great Korean chicken wings or mellows actually go to mellows It's not Korean. It's Jamaican. Yeah, but mellows is amazing for good season season used to be in like a disused Disused office. Yeah, which is kind of weird. You kind of went up these stairs and felt like you were Sort of getting a

Temporary job, you know, right? Yeah, and used to sign on at an agency, you know and sort of put things in envelopes Yeah, you know We've got to do your drink. Okay. Okay. So I'm gonna drink sake actually sake Yeah, because I I actually think weirdly It's it really serves every purpose Are you drinking it cold or hot? Um, it can be warm. It can be cold. Um, and that's another reason why it's perfect

So you're gonna have both are you gonna have both available? I would probably make, you know, I mean hell, you know start cold Go warm build it up and cold I uh start cold but it's everything. I mean, it's you know, it tastes great, you know It's it's um, as you say cold or hot, you know Um, it's it you can you can you can show off with it, you know, you can get expensive Sarkis, so it's got that sort of wine thing, you know, you can be cultured, you know Unlike, you know, they try and make beer posh don't they but yeah Never ever works. Yeah, you know

So it can be expensive, you know, it's it's also low in calories as well. Yeah, what's your point of me when you said that? Because you're low in calories clearly you're in such good shape. I look low in calories that you look like you drink a lot of sake Yeah, I did a sake I think that was pretty sake sake tasting experience Uh, uh, Japan you are what you drink Mike. Do you like that? Do you like that little dad joke I just made? There he is. That's a fake hiccup. First fake hiccup hiccup on the pod And you stuttered then. Yeah, I did they do a little stutter. You nervous. Yeah Very nervous interview in Mike Skinner I would I would I would talk along that line, but that would mean me talking in the third person

And that would be like Craig David Which you admire and respect Mike Skinner. Yeah Yeah, would love loves to be on this show. Yes Anyway Mike's eating an orange for the listener. That's not what that noise is not for the listener We're letting you know he didn't come in and go and eat this for the listener You are doing it for the listener right so that they can I actually didn't want you to tell them I was eating an orange I wanted it to sound like something else. Oh, yeah, you know like when they smash someone's head in in a in a film

And it's actually just a watermelon. Oh, yeah, you wanted them to think that you were murdering someone I was just doing a bit of foley there for you really. Oh, so anybody likes ASMR would have enjoyed that you're eating an orange Yeah, we know how they would have enjoyed it like everyone enjoyed ASMR, but it's because I'm so sexy, isn't it? That's that's really why they're watching it is because I'm so sexy. They don't care about the orange noises. That's why That's the bit of a ASMR that I hate. Yeah It's just like is this really really ASMR like really tentos. Yeah, I don't I don't like the mouth noises I don't like them This is uh, your mouth noises are fine, Mike. Yeah, just to be clear

But one ASMR videos when they do the mouth noises, it doesn't do it. Are you a mouth breather? Yeah I breathe through my mouth a lot. Yeah, and I didn't realize it was a thing until I heard the term mouth breather and I was like, oh god, that's me Isn't it doesn't it mean you're thick as well? Yeah, probably doesn't people say mouth You know you guys have to do press shots, don't you when you do in your ed and run at ed and bro You have to get a photographer in and that I do think that men with their mouth open look stupid Oh, I thought that last word was going to be called. I also think as well I also think yeah, if you only show one ear in a photo. Yeah

It's so close your mouth Only show one ear. Right and then it works I mean you just look fucking sexy Actually one ear and mouth shot. I'm thinking back now Yeah, but don't try it when you do a lot of your album covers. You're looking to the side Well, I'm not on my album covers. You have been on so many of your album covers A grand don't come for free. I was on the cover. Yeah, and the one after that Uh, hardest way to me. What was the cover of that? I was on the rolls of Rolls Royce. Yeah, you're looking the other way

All right, but but I mean you're looking to the side. It wasn't like a press shot. Was it you're showing one ear? You got your mouth shut. Am I right or am I wrong? Well, I didn't know I didn't know about it then Yeah, your mouth shut and you're looking to the side. I obviously knew a few things, didn't I? We get to my favorite course of all the courses dessert deep fried mars. Yes Straight in Yes, I think anyone who says that's not the best dessert ever is lying to themselves I agree with you and I'll never have one because the reason the reason I've never had I've been the firing line again. The reason why I've never had one is because I like dessert so much

That I know if I have one it will ruin my life. That that is what Sean liner goes on about when I get into drugs. Yeah, not at all. That's how you're gonna die When I get in the deep fried mars bars, that's when my life's over But you know, I think you you could definitely you could put on a few pounds without it being a problem Thank you very much But you can't you actually can't because he eats more than I've ever seen anyone eat really and a lot of sweets and a lot of Desserts and that's that's just the way he looks Okay, it's impossible. I think it's all still clogged up. Oh, you think I think it's saved up somewhere and then you're gonna hit 40

That's the thing, isn't it fat inside? Yeah outside. Absolutely. That's that's really A lot of people are that at Carl Jung would describe you as having a fat subconscious Oh, he would take me apart. Yeah Fat is is cuddling you in a warm embrace Oh, that's that's that's a nice way of putting it actually. But yeah, I'm done. Fat wants you. Fat wants you Let me directly in the eyes when he said that Fat wants you. So the deep fried mars bar is that with does that need to be with anything else? It doesn't have to be no, it doesn't have to be. Would you like it with anything else? I wouldn't no

I would just I would just um Deep fry the mars But you know, whenever I've had one I could have another one straight away. Yeah I've seen people have Let's be honest, shall we, you know, we've evolved You know millions of years, you know To to to just really just be To want to put energy in our bodies

You know, so do you think effectively and quickly quickly as we can and and the deep fried mars Is not really, you know Any more effective way of getting calories into your body. So do you think the deep fried mars represents the um the high High point of evolution. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. So why not have it as a dessert? Or a starter or a starter one. No, because you need you've got the cushy puncher as the starter Yeah, but I do think it's good to have fruit for your starter sometimes because you know, obviously fruit Takes less time to break down And so if you if you have fruit after your let's say steak and chips, it can actually ferment

Okay, and which one of the cushy punch your deep fried mars is fruit Neither no, so you're introducing fruit. Well, it's my go for the cushy punch, isn't it? Oh, is this an interview or am I being taken to pieces by Carl Young? Yeah We are we are kind of a Carl Young tag team me and Ed Absolutely destroyed Freud over there. Yeah. Yeah He's got you Um, if you've ever watched deep fried masters Is that what it's called Ed? I think it's called that. Yeah, deep fried masters. It's on Netflix. No

It's just uh a bunch of people deep fried stuff in like a bake-off kind of competition. Oh Masters. Yeah Deep fried masters. You're you're you at you you had a problem with masters. Did you? Well, my kids have a problem with masters Did they your kids saying masters? Did they? Yeah, and I think Uh, it's good to have all of your conflict In the house. Yes. Yeah And I think that's true of children, but also I think it's true of adults. Yes

um, so yeah, I I use that sort of um daily disrespect and emasculation And I harness that Yeah, and I come out to these these these These podcast situations, you know, where I'm being grilled quite frankly. Yeah by Carl Young and you're being fried over there

Yeah And I say, yeah fucking masters. So then when you made out you didn't know what I've said you were I made out I made out. No, I genuinely didn't know what you were talking about. You didn't know master. No You heard masters which your kids say all the time and you didn't understand what I meant Are you aware of an oral pun and a visual pun? Yeah. Yeah. So so in our game, yeah, you know We have to avoid oral puns. Yes. Yeah We need to be understood. Yes first and foremost if you want to get that joke over the net. Yeah, I want to get it over the net Yes

Uh, always play tennis with someone better than you by the way. Yeah. Yeah get it over the net You you want to avoid oral puns. Okay our oral puns. Yeah. Yes Deep fried masters Sounds like deep fried mars. So in my head, I'm thinking deep fried mars To so so basically I'm thinking, okay. Well, what do they do? They just deep fry amars every time So I'm confused. You didn't get the joke over the net. You didn't get the joke Well, I wasn't trying to get a joke. If you'd have said if you'd have said deep fried masters What a joke I was asking a serious question if you'd seen that tv show and it sounded like I did an accidental joke

That's how good I am If he said deep fried masters, I would have said you don't normally say masters. You say masters You're trying to show off a Mike Skinner. Yeah, that's what I would have said That's what he would have called me out on If I said but if you watch deep fried masters the deep fried masters, I totally understand that and he's got you there Yeah, he has got me there and for that reason. Yeah I'm gonna leave this podcast Right now. No, you can't leave because it's almost almost time

To have no one's ever No one's ever left of their own accord at the end. That's good. Normally we we wrap it up. No one's ever come in and gone We'd for start a deep fried master dessert. Bye. Bye. See you later before you go before you go, Mike Who is the lady you're singing about and when you wasn't famous just just say that before the end just say say who it was Just the name name it Just say it would it would end their career well I think I know who it was

I figured it out from that I figured it out. Oh Bonito is holding your uh, bonito fossellini Fossellini is handed me your order. Uh, so I'll read your order back to you. See how you feel about it, Mike Okay, yeah, but can you not do this sort of the midway check thing the midway check? Yeah, I'll be watching lectures Oh, yeah, I will not check with you midway. I promise you I will not be checking with you midway Uh, you would like sparked in water or as you put it. What did you say? Mitch Brudel Mitch Brudel That's a Mitch Brudel. That's a Mitch Brudel. Uh, you would like some sourdough bread

Yeah, which I probably will just put the napkin over the top of Yeah, because that's a really good way if you don't want to eat anymore. Just put the napkin on top Hide it hide it under the napkin just do that always play tennis with someone better than you My friend Stuart Goldsmith once saw someone who once she decided she didn't want to eat anything She would get the glass of water she had and just pour it over a meal. I mean That's basically the same thing, but you're attracting attention for that. Yeah I used to do that with cigarettes when I every time I was like, I can't do this anymore. Yeah, run them under the tap Yeah, because if you put a drybox in the bin, you're going through the bin

That's quite cracky, isn't it? That's quite cracky. Yeah. Yeah, go through the bin. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You're quite a cracky guy But I know I'd do it. So yeah, don't do louden them. Yeah. Don't do liquid smack I don't think you can find loud in them these days. Can you? Uh, I could ask around Mike probably can get some in the moose Yeah, you're fine. Uh for your starter, you would like some cushy punch mango flavor Yeah, I think it's mango. I might um, maybe if your fact checkers can speak to Sure To my lawyers get bonito to google that and contact your lawyers

Rain course, I'd forgotten about this free free impossible burgers. Yeah Side of Korean chicken wings, uh drink you would like sake and for dessert you would like a deep fried mars bar. Yes Sounds good to you. I'm pretty happy right now. It is nice. Yeah, that's really good I really like that you've got the three impossible burgers because you're trying to eat less meat and then you immediately follow on with some fried chicken wings You're like, I tried What can I say? I tried. Yeah, it's pretty good. Uh, yes, I was delicious. I mean we could switch out the wings for jackfruit wings You know, no, we're keeping the chicken. You're the chicken. We've got to have your favorite Saitan Saitan

Saitan Saitan. Well, that's kind of evil that stuff. I think sure, but that's a different podcast. It's implied in the name Is that a visual pun or an all pun that I just did? No, that's that's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah That pun works. Yeah, that works. Yeah. Well done, man. Yeah And it's and yeah, very happy to announce your new podcast. Yeah, Saitan's chicken wings Saitan chicken wings Saitan chicken wings brackets oral puns with James A. Kester In the depths of be out, you know With Beelzebub in the depths of Hades. Were you playing Beelzebub in it? Are you someone to play the devil? It'd be funny if you did I I'd like to play god actually

I see more of a god. You see more of a god? He's not been picking on you So who would I'd rather be god than if you were if you were god fucking hell who would play satan Biggest question we've ever had at the end of the podcast. Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman. You'd have Morgan Freeman say just so he's played both roles Well, I don't like people being typecast. Sure Show show show his range Range Always play tennis with someone better than you. Yeah Range. Oh, sorry. Ronge. That's the is that the brilliant way of saying it? No, range

Range Thanks so much for coming into the dream restaurant, Mike and Boston and just as a gift as you leave We bought you a bottle of robust robust malbec. Oh I didn't say it but it would have been so good. He shanked it at the end. It would have been so good It would have been so good. Thank you for nanking me in the pancreas with that superb use Of a circular plotting. That's what we live for Nanking in the pan. You got nanked in the panks, Skinner

Thanks, Mike Mike Skinner everybody there he is Mike Skinner got pretty deep that that ep pretty deep so much so much to discuss So much to talk about I find myself in the crosshairs once or twice But you know it's part of the course being a genie. You got gunned down, mate I got gunned down every now and again, but that's fine. I think you finally met your jafar Oh Maybe Mike Skinner is my jafar. That's exciting. I should have said that on the actual episode But I was too busy thinking about the fact he picked weed as a starter

Yes, he did pick weed as a starter and fair play to him. It sounded all right It was it look I loved that episode that we were all sat in a dark in a pitch black restaurant Not even in a restaurant. We were just sat in dark But there was somehow a curve. Yeah, and then he put a youtube video on and popped an edible Yeah Of course he did different vibe a very different vibe to the previous episode But we respect that and we encourage that the menu was uh was interesting. It was off beat We finished with a deep fried mars bar. You can't argue with that and he did not say plenty of fried tomatoes

So we did not kick him out of the dark curve Which I think you were slightly disappointed by that he did not say plenty of fried tomatoes Because I bet you would have loved that because it would be like being at a concert Yeah, I kind of wait. I mean, obviously, you know a fanboyed out every now and again He wasn't having any of it. He battled it away. Look a professional. I'm I'm very surprised you uh, you fanboyed out in In such an obvious way as well. Yeah. Well, I I'll talk you through my thinking Ed. Yeah, uh, he was he was quite a It was quite he was in a lairy mood

And I thought it'd be really funny to really obviously fan way out and see if it'll if it'll wind him up Wind him up and it didn't it didn't why he was absolutely fine with it Thanks so much to Mike skinner for coming in and he's got new music coming soon. We're told sighting very exciting indeed What have you got coming up James? Uh, you know just this and that knocking about uh, my book perfect sound whatever which uh, mike mentioned in the podcast He did actually that was nice. Yeah That that's out. It's about music and about the 2016 been the greatest year for music before time. What about you ed? What are you up to? Oh, I did depending on when this comes out

I might be on tour go on to my website at gamble.co.uk to check that out But I do have a special that is available on amazon prime Video blood sugar blood sugar. It's called and I'm very happy with it So put yourself on there have a little watch of that And if you're interested in some of the restaurants that we mentioned and want to know more about them or You think you remember us talking about a restaurant. You don't remember the name of it You have two options one you can go on to our website off menu podcast.co.uk Or you can just listen back to the podcast and listen for the names or you can tweet the off menu

official twitter and you could ask Benito himself every single week So there's the three options go on to the website off menu podcast.co.uk You can listen back to the episode or you could tweet Benito and ask him what the restaurant was called Now, of course one of the bonuses of doing a food podcast is people do just send us stuff which is great But I people out there seem to think we're absolute boozers Because we have received a lot of beer and a lot of a lot of gin quite frankly Northern monk who are a brewer that I love the name of and the cans immediately have sent us the full range I've got one called faith here, which is a modern pale ale

There's there's a new world India pale ale heathen, which is my more my more my bag actually I'm a bit more of a heathen. You are a bit of a heathen aren't you? But I'll be taking away these cans and enjoying them very much. Thank you so much to northern monk This is the exciting one for me booze wise james Um fairs distillery Have sent us our own off menu gin the only one that exists in the world bottle one of one batch

Number. Oh my god one Look at that Wow our own gin. It's a handwritten label. It is just a one off off menu gin. It's wax seals that bottle It's wax seals and you know what I'm taking this. Yeah Let me know it tastes it says off menu gin for Ed Gamble and james a caster bad luck You've written it in pen. I can rub off james a caster Love me off. It doesn't still still remember me. No, you're gone. You're gone I'm going to drink a bottle of gin and forget you ever exist

Well, there's another bottle of gin here Ed that I could console myself with oh, yeah Puerto de indias. Oh, yeah. What's that gin? It's the severe civilian Gin pretty strawberry gin. There you go. That's much more up your street Strawberry gin. Now. What else have we been sent james? Oh, some other drinks here from nixon kicks. Uh, they're like a soft drink low in calories and caffeine and uh, they uh

They uh They put spice in them all all these drinks have a bit of cayenne pepper in them spicy drinks. No, I didn't sugar vegan drinks Uh, so I've got a few of those there blood orange and turmeric watermelon and hibiscus mango and ginger cucumber and mint Or with a bit of spice. I want to put a bit of gin in those And also we've been sent doizy and damn dark chocolate hazelnut butter cups and some peanut butter cups I think as well which are like vegan butter cups And uh, they've sent us these for free probably put that out there. They've sent us these for free

Almond and some hazelnut Ed and sorry to say to doizy and damp I've already bought your product and enjoyed it in the past. So you've sent it to me for free for no reason in your face Very clever very clever. So thank you very much for listening to the podcast We hope you enjoyed the episode and we'll see you again soon in the off menu restaurant. Keep it cooking You Hello, it's me Amy glad to you might remember me from the best ever episode of off menu where spoke to my mum and asked for about seaweed on mashed potato and

Our relationship's never been the same since and I am joined by me Ian Smith. I would probably go bread I'm not gonna I'm not gonna spoil In case get him on James and Ed, but we're here sneaking in to your Podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called northern news It's about all the new stories that we've missed out from the north because look we're two northerners sure But we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny quite a lot of them crimes It's all kicking off and that's a new podcast called northern news We'd love you to listen to maybe we'll get my mum on get glitters mum on every episode. That's northern news

When's it out Ian? It's already out now. Amy. Is it? Yeah get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late