Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 8: Tom Kerridge

Episode Date: January 23, 2019

It's the magical restaurant's first chef guest! The Michelin-starred Tom Kerridge orders his dream meal. Will he stick to his healthy regime, or will it be an 'off day'? We also learn more about the genie waiter's backstory and James tries to embarrass Ed in some *bonus content* – so keep listening until the end.Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography) and Amy Browne (illustrations)Tom Kerridge's book, 'Tom Kerridge's Fresh Start', is out now, published by Bloomsbury. See here for more details. His TV series of the same name is on Wednesdays, 8pm, BBC Two, and also on iPlayer.Ed Gamble is on tour in 2019. See his website for full details.James Acaster is on tour in 2019. See his website for full details.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here.And a big thanks to Sarah from Raaka Chocolate for sending us some samples! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy, now. Please? Oh, no. It's the Off Menu podcast with James Acaster. That's you saying that and Ed Gamble that's me saying that. Hello, James. Hello, Ed. How are you? I'm good, mate. Good to see you. You can find Fetal. Thank you. What does that mean? Nice cap. That's definitely good. Thanks very much. Hey, great episode today. Oh, such a great episode. We're very excited. Very excited because it's our first ever chef, Tom Kerridge. And if you're here because you're a fan of Tom and you've never listened to the podcast before, what is it, James? We are going

to ask Tom Kerridge what the best ever, all of this is favourite starter, main, side, drink, and dessert are. He can order whatever he likes in our magical restaurant and I'm a genie. And James is a genie, but we'll come to that. That actually, there's more depth to the genie revealed today that even I didn't know about, James. Or me. So it's very exciting. Are you telling me you were riffing that off the top of your... No, no, no, no. I just noticed those details for the first time. I see, I see. Yes. Hey, I tell you what, finally, this podcast is paying off. This is very exciting. Right. We have been sent some chocolate for free from Brooklyn, America. Yeah. Is that your impression of someone from Brooklyn? I think so. Yeah.

The Nine-Nine. It's like posh, proper chocolate. A lady called Sarah contacted me on Instagram and said, would you like some chocolate from the company that I work for? It's called Racka Chocolate, R-A-K-A. It's unroasted dark chocolate and it comes in, it's come in this posh box. It looks good. It looks good. It's so cool and hipster and I love it. It's like a booklet about how they make it. There's all these different flavours like pink sea salt and bourbon and banana's foster. Banana's foster. Now, we've got to divvy this up fairly. Okay. What flavours do you want? Well, that's a fun game. You can try and guess what flavours I want because I think you'd be able to get the pretty one. Well, you want banana's foster. Yeah, all the games are game away

there, didn't they? Ain't no way I'm having banana's foster. Thank you. It's delicious, Sarah. I think you might want bourbon but also I want bourbon. Yes, I would like that. Thank you very much, Sarah, for sending us that chocolate and if you work for a cool artisan food company and you think, well, I won't send them anything because surely they won't mention the company just for some samples. We fucking will. Yes, we will. We do not care when it comes to getting free food. We did this podcast for a reason. We love food and so therefore if you send us food, we're going to talk about it. And if you're into chocolate, we're going to stick some photos up in this. We really will. We're really going the whole hog with this. Yeah,

I think it's great. If I followed this podcast on Twitter and stuff, I'd want to see the photos of the chocolate and then buy the chocolate, eat it. This is great. This is exactly what I like. I don't even know if anyone's listening to this thing with a couple of setups, you can go ram yourself. Right, so great episode today. Such great episode. Tom Kerridge though, he will be in trouble. If he says he wants quinoa in his food. Every week we have a secret ingredient that if the guests mentions the secret ingredient in their dream meal, they're out on their ear. They get kicked out the restaurant banned for life. The secret ingredient this week, as James said, is quinoa. I just don't get it. I'm going to hold my hands up. I don't mind a bit of quinoa.

Yeah, sure don't mind it. No one's eating quinoa since it's delicious though. No, but I like it. I like the texture. I like the nutty flavor. I don't like the texture. It annoys me. Right, well I'm willing to go with you on this one. If Kerridge Menton's quinoa, he's out. Kerridge Menton's quinoa. More difficult to say than I'd imagine that. Quite fun to say though. Kerridge Menton's quinoa. Menton, but you're saying Menton's. Menton's. No, this is not the cleanest intro we've ever done, but Kerridge Menton's quinoa.

Kerridge Menton's quinoa. If Kerridge Menton's quinoa, he's going to be in trouble. Oh, and this week, keep listening until the end because we've got some bonus content. That's the bonus content noise as is tradition in the world of podcasting. So keep listening towards the end for some bonus content. Follow us on social media, out off menu official on Twitter and Instagram. Subscribe, like, review, all that stuff. I'll be saying that at the end as well. But here, finally, we've battled through this intro, the brilliant Tom Kerridge. We're here with Tom Kerridge. Hello, Tom. Hello, how are you? Good. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

We feel very honored to have our first chef guest here. Thanks very much for having me. Chef number one. Now, I don't know if you're aware of the podcast, Tom, but James is a genie in this. Yeah, I've actually done a bit of research. I listened to one on the way in the car this morning. Absolutely perfect. That's what we like to hear. I like the genies arrival. Thank you very much. Well, you just got to see it for real then. Yeah, it was incredible, yeah.

Up close and personal, got to see me coming out of the lamp. Yeah, we don't have a... Not many people expect. I come out feet first. Every time. You have a very offbeat genie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me first, I land at my head. We're not socks on.

Yeah, yeah, we're not socks. Some people don't know, oh, there's two people coming out of the lamp. Oh, no, it was one guy, we're not socks on. Keep everyone guessing. Unlike most genies, James wears socks. Yes, that's true. Because I don't know if you've seen genies before, but they don't tend to have feet normally.

Socks and only socks. I cover my modesty with a rubber ring, like from a swimming pool. That's what I'm wearing. So much being added to the genie lore today. Yeah, well, about time. People needed a bit of an update on what my life is like. Socks and a rubber ring.

Yeah. And that's it. Yeah, and when we said odd socks, one of them is a big old football sock, and one of them is one of those half socks that people wear to make it look like they've got no socks when they're hipsters. Trainer socks. Yeah, trainer socks.

That's what I'm wearing. That's what I'm wearing. Well, welcome. You've really covered it in the d-pad here, Tom, I'll be honest. Yes. It's the first thing in the morning, and James hasn't had a coffee or anything. Worry about being in the d-pad.

I can lend you my rubber ring, if you like. Yeah. Close to that. No, I can see where it's been. I'd rather not. What's your kitchen like in the lamp, James? Are you cooking in the lamp? Well, yeah, let's face it.

I'm a magical genie. I can make people whatever food they want. So it's basically all the... If you imagine all the kitchens in the world, in one, that's what it is. All state-of-the-art equipment. But I know you like to look after other people and cook them whatever they want,

but what are you cooking for yourself in the lamp? I'm a humble genie. I'm not cooking anything for myself. Yeah, but we've got Tom here now. He's just got a new book out. Oh, yeah. About cooking for yourself and... That's what you were trying to get me round to.

Yeah. I want a chance to talk about his book, and you're so within the genie character now. I was too in the character of the genie. You can't remember it. It doesn't make sense for genies to do that. But yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. I can't cook it myself some food.

From Tom Coge's Fresh Start. Thanks, Ed. That's all I know of. Can we cut there eventually? More primos for socks than I am for Tom's book. James told me before you arrived that he can't cook in his flat at the moment because he doesn't have an extractor fan.

It's a bit of a nightmare. There's the smoke alarms hooked up to, like, pretty much every room in the flat. So if I set the smoke alarm off, I'll wake everybody up in the whole building. That's bad times. Yeah. Like, everyone knows that noise, the smoke alarm.

The toast... Burn your toast, smoke alarm feeling. I did it first day of university in the halls of residence. I set off the fire alarm with the toaster, like, one in the morning, and everyone had to go outside in their dressing gowns. Oh, boy.

It was really embarrassing. Well, were you in bad dressing gowns? Bad awful dressing gowns, and they all knew it was me. Crop, like, crumbs are in my mouth. Stuff in his face? Yeah. Well, that's a fair reason to not cook no extraction.

But I'm sorting it out. I'm getting an extractor fan. I'm going, oh, it's important to me, Tom, as it should be to everyone, right? Yeah, extraction fans are very... And you actually want one that actually extracts, not the ones that just turn on and make a noise. The main noise, of course.

They just make a noise out there pretending to extract. Do you want a real one that actually sucks stuff out? Because those ones will trick people like me early doors. Yeah. I'll hear it and think that's working. No, you do want something that extracts proper. Yeah. But we're...

Me and you, Tom, we're brothers in weight loss. Yeah. I've also lost a lot of weight in my life and changed my lifestyle. Six stone. That's pretty massive. Six stone is still a huge... It's a huge amount.

It's like a big child. Yeah. Yeah, or a very small adult. How many did you do? Well, I probably lost... I mean, the best part of 12 stone originally, then I've started going to the gym and all. So probably overall, around about 11 stone,

10 or 11 stone. Absolutely. Absolute shame, Tom. Yeah, but I'm a lot bigger. I'm a lot taller and I was a lot bigger. Right, okay. That makes me feel better. It's like a massive lump.

A massive lump. So, yeah, I've shifted some timber, but I'm still like a massive lump. There was some time on the circuit where all anyone was talking about was, have you seen Ev Gamble lately? No, it's not. That's not even a lie.

Every gig I turned up at, the first person who walked in. Have you seen that Gamble? It doesn't look like a Gamble anymore. He looks fit. It looks fucking sexy. Everyone thought he was so sexy. It was so funny. Because, I mean, it's true.

That's funny to you, was it? It was funny that everyone was saying how sexy you were. Yeah. I didn't disagree with it, man, but it was really funny that all of a sudden, all anyone could talk about was how sexy you were. See, man, he's really sexy now. True, like.

It is very true. I think cooking at home is you'd learn more about food and you'd have more of an appreciation for it, right? Well, yeah, I mean, when you put the ingredients in, you learn a lot about it. I mean, food is, I mean, food, I mean, the most amazing thing about it is you can go round the world with food.

It doesn't matter where you're at and you're kitchen with no extraction. You could still be cooking a dish from Thailand. You know, you could, like, that's the most beautiful thing about it. And it's great for kids as well, the fact that there's so many things, there's taste, texture, color, flavor, variety,

history, geography, that all comes into food. So it's a great learning curve for families. So that's why food ticks a lot of boxes. Yeah. You know, and in the end of the day, when you make something and you get to eat it, like, it's quite a nice reward. Yeah, it really is.

You feel so chuffed with yourself, I think. Sometimes, if I'm going out to eat and I don't like the meal very much, I try and imagine that I've cooked it because then I like it more. You're one of the oddest people I've ever met in my life. No, but it's true because I'm like, actually, it's pretty good for me.

You know? I feel like that works. Yeah, I've done it right here, actually. But then you have to give somebody else money. Yeah, yeah, I'll pay someone else for the fancy. Yeah, for sure. Tom, today you don't have to cook. No.

Because you're at the dream restaurant. Yeah. The waiter's already appeared. And now he's just shot some guns for no reason. Oh, I just killed some people outside. But this episode will be very tense. The cops are coming. So, first of all, can I get you some water, Tom?

Would you like still or sparked in water? I quite like sparkling, actually. Sparkling is pretty, I mean, either. Either way, it doesn't really matter. But whatever's easiest. I always say whatever's easiest to the waiter, and this is sometimes it confuses them halfway through a meal because then I might have sparkling water in a glass

and when they top it up, they put still. All that goes the other way around, they're in there with half and half water. So I don't, like, and I'll just drink it. I'm not bothered. Because then it's giving you whatever is easiest, which means whatever is what, nearby, I'm in supply. Yeah, so that might switch halfway through.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that'll do. It's still clear and wet. That's fine. I mean, yeah, if I was a waiter and you said whatever is easiest, which I am a waiter, and you have to say that to me. You're a genie waiter, yeah.

I am going to at some point give you a bit of half and half because I want to, I've never seen someone drink some half and half before. I've never seen someone drink half still, half sparkling. I'd want to see what. That's a maverick move. It's kind of, it's like really boring sparkling water. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just a hint. Yeah, it's like if you've opened a bottle of sparkling water, you've drank it and then you've left it in the fridge for five days and then you drink it again. That's what it's like. Yeah. That's what, that's what top chef Tom Kerr is. That's your first choice, Tom.

What do you go, sir, let's start. Going to have the first water. Old sparkling water. Very specific. Very well. What year is this water? So that's a sparkling water. That's a good, good, good choice.

Half and half. That's the first half and half we've had. First half and half, startling. Startling. A little bit of sparkling, yeah. Pop it up into a bread. Pop it up into a bread, Tom. I've got to be honest.

So I try and do low carb. So Neva, I'm going to give them both a swerve. Oh, that's the first time anyone swerved it. Are you going to go rogue and go prawn crackers? Because that's a secret one. You can go for that if you want to. Well, I'll also throw another one out there. I've got a shellfish allergy, so I'll swerve those as well.

What the hell is swerving? It's not getting off to a great start at this restaurant, is it? No, I love it. I absolutely love it. I never expected anyone to swerve pop a domes or bread. No, so you do not want either of them. I will be firm on this and go, I want both of them. Yes.

But I go, actually no, I'm going to have Neva. When's the last time you had a pop a dom? I don't know. It would have been some point towards the end of last year, I would have thought. Oh, OK. There would have been some point. Sometimes every now and then you fall off the wagon,

but most of the time I'm pretty good. So yeah, it's not. So what's the most tempting one? Pop a dom or bread? Bread, bread, freshly baked, amazing crusty bread with loads of salty butter on, amazing. That would be delicious. So you've talked me into it, I'll have bread please.

Did you talk me into that or did I talk me into it? When you listen back to that, we didn't say anything for about 20 minutes, Tom, you were just describing the bread and the smell. Yeah, you spoke like someone. Freshly baked, wonderful baguette. Crusty on there. So it's still warm in the middle.

Oh yeah. Loads of like freshly churned, salted butter. And delicious. Yeah, that, that please. Have you, so when you say freshly churned, because I reckon you're probably one of the only guests we've had on the podcast. You've probably had some pretty fresh butter.

Yeah. Like some, probably you've probably been to a dairy farm and had some like. Straight out the cow. I too are. One of the most amazing meals I've had was in a restaurant called Franson, which is in Stockholm.

And they made the bread and the butter in front of you. It was honestly mind blowing. So when you got to the table, instead of it being a vase with flowers in or whatever, the table like decoration in front of you was a block with a wooden block with a bread dough proving in front of you with a glass lid on it. And then you had a couple of courses in

and then they take the bread away to bake it to, because it's proved up in front of you. Then they go and bake it. And whilst they're baking it, the waiter comes to the table with raw cream and beats the cream. So it separates, pours the milk away and turns it into butter in front of you.

It serves the butters just freshly made with salt and then the bread comes back fresh from the oven. It was like a mind blowing. And it's the simplest thing that made it outstanding. And then you had to say to them, I don't do carbs. Yeah. I've got to be honest.

That was actually, that was before my life changing in Piffley wine. By that point, I probably had three bottles of wine, seven gin and tonics. And I was like, this is amazing, Brett. I actually ordered it again. I was like, give us more bread. It was a weekend away with a couple of chefs

and it was chaos and mayhem. So we were like, get me more of that bread, which actually threw them a little bit because there wasn't any more proving in front of the table. So I think they probably had to steal somebody else's bread. That's all about the sort of theater of it really, isn't it? And that's like going to a play and then going, first half again.

That was so good. Do it all again. What? Come on, I'll pay you. That sounds absolutely incredible. Yeah, that was brilliant. So I've had very, that's very fresh butter. That is, yeah.

Oh, I want some right now. On its own. I eat that butter on its own, I reckon. I'm not letting my mouth off. How strong were the waiters? They must have been really strong waiters, like just beating butter all day in front of me. Well, it was just one guy with one massive arm.

Yeah. Huge arm, yeah. Living a tortured existence before that. For your starter, sir. Yeah. Well, I kind of, I've been very fortunate. I've traveled like loads and food has been part of my life. Like I've been a chef for 27 years,

but some of the simplest things are the best. So I quite like calamari, please, with some very simply made fresh mayonnaise. That would be delicious. Now, a lot of plates, see, I reckon most of the time when I go out to eat, and I haven't been there before, I'll look for the calamari. You're a proper squid boy.

Yeah, I had squid with you yesterday. Yeah. You saw me, you saw me order it. I'm not lying just to impress carriage. It's a good safety option as well. If you're in a new restaurant, you don't know what it is, and you're a little bit unsure. Squid is a, calamari is a good safety option.

Although there is a little bit of a downfall, I don't think a lot of people know that. Quite often those squid rings, they're reformed. Yeah, quite often they're like processed squid meat that's then piped. You'll be able to tell the ones that are almost circular rather than just flat. Do you know what I mean?

So if they're reformed and then, so it's not fresh squid rings. So it's got to be fresh squid rings, not the reformed ones that I don't know where you ate yesterday, but you know. Somewhere in Camden, it was a friend took us to a place in Camden. Yeah.

But that was baby squid. Yeah, yeah, so you can't get baby squid there. I think when you formed that, fair play to them. Yeah. That would be more hassle than it's worth, really, wouldn't it? Yeah. That would be hours of craft. Absolute artist.

Yeah, that kid. And you polished it off in second. Yeah, yeah. I didn't even bat an eyelid. Where's the place you've had the best calamari? Greece. Like, I love Greece as a holiday. It's an amazing space.

Sat on a, kind of like just one of those taverna-like things on the front of the beach, watching the sun go down, eating calamari. Amazing. Like, love it. Is that important to you? Setting? Well, I think, from a restaurant's point of view,

it is quite... They're the things that make restaurants work, is the whole environment. It's not just the food, because you can have amazing food in places, but it's not always necessarily served well. I mean, not like the standard of waiter that we have here. Definitely not in an environment like we have here.

I mean, this is outstanding. When you tick all of those boxes, that does make some of the best meals you can ever have are with the company that you've got and the place it is, as well as the food being good. So, it does... Yeah, it does make a difference. It does make a difference.

My dad has a theory that... I think this is specifically when you go on holiday, though. If the restaurant has a lovely view or an amazing surrounding, the worst the food's going to be, and you have to find the place... Like, say you're in Greece, you have to find a place that's, like, down a side street,

and there's, like, a... like, mangy old dog walking past, and they're going to have the best food, because they have to, to get people in. Yeah, that's a fair theory, particularly in holiday resorts. I mean, I remember once we went to a place in Cyprus with my wife and my little man,

and we went and we were driving... I got a taxi driver to take us into town, and it just takes us somewhere nicer to be in a place. And as he drove into town, there was this place on the right-hand side, and he goes, that's where I go, that's where all the taxi drivers go. Yeah.

And then... But I'll drop you in town at the front, and you went in the front, and there were just these packed tourist places, the bloke at the front going, come on in, very nice. Come on in, very nice. Like, hold on a minute.

Like, let's go back to where the taxi's going. We went back there, and it was amazing. It was an incredible meal, cooked by three lovely old ladies in the kitchen, doing beautiful stews and stuff. So, yeah, your dad's theory definitely worked in Cyprus then. Yeah.

The closer to a landmark, something is the worst it is. I'd agree with that. Too wise. Yeah. If it's close to a landmark, it'll just get the stragglers. Doesn't matter.

You just get all the tourists walking around going up. Often... Like, I went to Paris last year for one day, because my sister's family were there, and they got little kids. So, we went to the Eiffel Tower, and then it's like, we need to wait. You can't walk around Paris,

Favis, with little kids on your phone, going, no, I've got to go to the best place. So, you just kind of go to the nearest place, and then you just sit, and they're going, we are absolutely mugs. Spending 20 euros on a really bad crepe. On, like, a really bad burger. It was so bad.

I mean, we all... The company was nice, sure. But not good enough to... No, no, it could be a great company. Always good enough. I'd eat anything with my family, Ed, and you know it. Big wedge of lemon with a calamari? Yeah, I quite like a big wedge of lemon.

Give it a good squeeze on it, definitely. Yeah, I think you need... The acidity is really good. I mean, it's only a little bit like putting malt vinegar on fish and chips, isn't it? It's like that acidity that brings it to life. So, yeah. It's a big moment, though, when you start doing that.

As a kid, you're not doing it. That is very good. You won't never see the kids squeezing a wedge of lemon over anything. Never happens. You're like, what's going on? What are you eating? Olives as well, you little punk?

As an adult, I remember the first time I ordered some fish and chips and went, I'm actually going to use that lemon and squeeze it over my battered cod. Absolute game changer. And then tartar sauce as well. You're not doing that as a kid? No, no kids having tartar sauce, are they?

No kids doing any of that. Too sharp for a kid's palate. But as soon as I started doing that, oh, what a game changer. Well, I'll tell you what, because it's funny, because that is my main course, is fish and chips. It is my main course, is fish and chips. That's what I've chosen.

We are having a day by the sea with Tom Kelly. We are having a day by the sea. Although, just fish and chips doesn't necessarily have to be by the sea. I mean, like in an idyllic sort of situation, you'll sit on a beach somewhere having fish and chips. But fish and chips are really special. Like, you remember their childhood memories,

and let's say it's a game changer when you put tartar sauce or lemon juice on it, because actually, as mission star chefs, what you're always looking for, any chef, is looking for a balance of texture, crunch, acidity, all of those sort of things that come into line. So lemon or capers or gherkins that are in tartar sauce is about bringing everything into balance.

And it's the same sort of thing as a full English breakfast, which was a close second to my brain. Right. But the idea of going, all of those flavors that are salty and kind of protein-led and starchy, that then you need something to balance it up. Right. And this is where, this is where I think

brain sauce and red sauce, that, all right, there's loads of sugar and salt in them. What you think about, they're a balance of acidity. They're quite, they're sugar and vinegar that's reduced out and mixed together. So when you put, when people are putting red sauce on stuff and brain sauce, all they're doing is bringing in a natural balance of cooking.

They're almost becoming mission star chefs. It's your mouth that's bringing it all together. You want it all together. So what's your ideal, like, is there somewhere you've had the best fish and chips you've ever had? Yeah, well, I mean, see, it sounds so simple, doesn't it, fish and chips? But there's nothing simple about it.

Like, some of the best fish and chips you'll have is, you know, when their chips are like really soggy and a bit rubbish, because it's the summertime and there's too much, see, there's too much sugar in a potato in the summertime. There's not enough starch. And that's why new potatoes don't make great. They're not very good at chipping.

But, you know, and then you, when you put malt vinegar on it and the paper's stuck to the chips and all that. Actually, that's not, that's quite a nice thing. But I couldn't serve soggy chips with paper stuck to them in a restaurant. Sure. Okay, so then we have to go down the triple cook chip route. Which is kind of like, I mean,

I mean, the whole science of it is boring and I won't tell you on the podcast because, like, it will go on forever. But you triple cook them to make sure they're lovely and crispy. You go, well, then all of a sudden, like, you don't give us many chips and it takes, the process costs too much money. So it's a very fine balance between the best chips in the world

or soggy, wet ones covered in paper. And then that's it. And then also you've got the fish. Up north is haddock. Everyone loves haddock. Down safe, it's cod. Up north, they like to cook more often than not in beef dripping.

Down safe, it's in veg oil. So, like, it's a very, like, it's, it's massive. Yeah. And you don't know, what would you have? Would you have haddock? See, would you have haddock cooked in veg oil? And that would spin everyone out. That, that, that's like, that's like the northern fish cook the,

cook the southern way. Classic carriage half and half. Yeah. We're doing it again. It is. It's going to go lovely with your glass of starkling. Yeah. Yeah.

It's splitting up immediately. Yeah. So having triple cooked soggy chips. Probably. Yeah. That's a nice idea. Triple, I'm going to have triple cooked soggy chips with haddock from up north cooked in veg oil.

Down safe. Yeah. And served with and fish. It's got to have mushy piece of it undatedly. And then I'm never sure, right? So curry sauce or gravy, chips and gravy is amazing, right? Yeah. Fish and curry sauce.

Delicious. Yeah. So probably all of it. You would have. I would have all of it. The full, yeah. And the full, like. Also, right.

Have you always liked mushy piece? Always liked. Always. Always liked mushy piece. Does this fit in with your theory that no kid has mushy piece? No. But as a kid, I did not like mushy piece. But it's basically like baby food consistency, isn't it?

So you thought babies would be into mushy piece? I did not like them. And I used to work in a kitchen. Worked in a few kitchens, actually, Tom. And by the way, in the last kitchen he worked in, he was known as the Mash King. That's true. I love that.

Because I made the best mash. Not as known as the Mash King. Was that actually your name, the Mash King? People would call me that. Yeah. Some people think that maybe I was called that because no one else wanted to make the mash. And they thought if they called me the Mash King,

I'd want to do it. But I don't think that's true. I look, kitchen nicknames are quite good. There's a lot of them going round. Like. And they're not always complimentary kitchen names. No, I have to be honest. I worked with a guy not in our kitchen,

but he has a story of when he worked for a very famous chef. And I won't tell you his. But he worked for him for six months. And for the whole six months, he was known as Knob. That was it. No one actually knew his name. He turned up on day one and he said, what's your name?

And he said, Doug. And they went, and the head chef went, no, it's Knob. And you're known as Knob from now on. So for six months. Wow. He was called Knob until he left. Was that because it was his job

to put the Knob a butter in the mash? Exactly that. Yeah. He would have worked quite well with you. He was the Mash King. Mash King and Knob. Mash King and Knob. And Milky Joe.

Milky Joe. But it ended in the end. I'd actually use cream a lot of the time in the mash. That's what I used to do. That was my secret. Yeah. Shouldn't have told that to a chef. Oh, no.

Oh, no. He's going to use it. He's going to use it on my secrets from me. Take your throne. Oh, cream and mash. I don't think you just write that down. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, dear me. I will no longer be the mash. Can't tell you're taking my crown. Yeah. And can I say, Tom, you're at fish and chips for your main. It's admirable how quickly the low carb thing. It's gone out of the window. No, completely.

We've stuffed it right up here. I've gone for freshly made bread, butter, fish and chips, calamari. I'm like, but this is kind of like, I'm trying to view this. Is this like my last meal? Or is this the ultimate meal that doesn't matter? Anyway, you want to view it really. But it's the best stuff you've had in your life.

Yeah, I'll stick with fish and chips, don't I? We'll call it an off date. And we'll have fish and chips. Yeah, definitely fish and chips. If I'd like to return briefly to your recipes. Yes. Because I've got a bone to pick with you. OK.

You're responsible for quite a traumatic event in my life. So recently, me and, I was going to say friend of the podcast, but everyone hates him, Joel Domet. We were a team on Pointless, Pointless Comedians. And you've seen Pointless, you know how it works. I know how it works. So one of the rounds, second round in the show, was five dishes by famous chefs.

And we had to name, all past the dishes, and we had to name just an ingredient that was in any of those dishes. One of them was Tom Carridge's spaghetti bolognese. That was one of the ones. Joel Domet, on his one, he guessed a different dish by someone else. Can't remember what it was. He guessed capers.

It wasn't in any of the dishes. We've got a hundred points. It comes to me. I've got to save us now. We're going out if I don't get a low one. I'm looking at him. I think, ah, someone told me that plump up the beef sometimes in spaghetti bolognese.

People put dark chocolate in spaghetti bolognese. I've got to get a low score. I took a swing. They're dark chocolate. And you already know, Tom, that it's not in your spaghetti bolognese. And we went crashing out on 200 points. You humiliate me on live.

There's a reason we've asked you here today, Tom, where James is going to settle some scores. Well, no, but hold on a minute. I might just start to train it. Dark chocolate in spaghetti bolognese. Oh, no! I'm helping me the more! Okay, I love it here.

Any more recipes? Oh, my God! The next book is going to be Creamy Mash and Chocolatey Bolognese. Chocolate cream mash. Although, I mean, to be fair, I do put dark chocolate in a chili. Oh, God damn it!

There you go. So close. It's very similar, but not quite. That's things even more. Knowing that you do do it. Do do it, but not in a bolognese. What are, in your bolognese, what ingredient do you reckon would be a pointless answer?

Would be the least amount of people. What is the most left-field ingredient in your spaghetti bolognese? I've got to be honest. It's the one that I argue about most with my wife, is whether carrots should be in it or not. Oh, I see. I mean, this is that. Yeah, that is quite a good answer.

There's always a household argument, right? Yeah. And in everybody's house, about certain random things in ours, it's about carrots in bolognese. Yeah. I think they should be in there. Right.

My wife, Beth, definitely not. No carrots. So that would have been a no-pointer. It depends who's made the bolognese. How do you cut them with these carrots? Perfectly diced, obviously. You're dicing them? I mean, say obviously.

I'm a fan of a carrot in bolognese, I think. Yeah. Because you dice them small and they just sweeten it up, right? Exactly, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've tried this argument and it doesn't work. Yeah, I know, I'm sorry.

I understand you're proud. If you met my wife, you'd just go, yeah, yeah, fine, all right. We just won't put carrots in it. I'll show her up with sweet potato. Very, very good. That brings us back to Joel Domet, though, if you mentioned sweet potatoes.

Yeah. He had that as his side after having chips as his main. Oh, fucking idiots. Well, let's talk about side dishes. What would be your side dish, Tom? Well, so now it doesn't quite go with anything, right? So we've gone a flow, we've gone through calamari, and now we're going for fish.

But I've gone for an aubergine dish that I've had in Singapore. It was one of the most amazing meals I've ever had. And I've been very fortunate, you know, you've been over the world and cooking in lots of different places and being shown. And when you're in the food scene, you turn up in different places

and they take you around. Journalists and other chefs take you to the nightlife and see how done they've been to Singapore or not, but there's an amazing nightlife in Singapore. It goes on all night. It's a 24-hour city and there's also, like, it has a very abundant and very busy red light area. But in between the red light area,

it's very well-organized Singapore. So there's a street of, which is a red light area, then there's a street of food, street food. Then there's a street of red light area, then a street of street food. And like, it just goes down like that. So we went out after work and obviously went to the street food.

And we sat there as a bunch of chefs until about 4 or 5 in the morning with this one guy cooking food and just bringing out loads and loads of different dishes. And it was an aubergine dish and we sat in something which is called rat alley. We sat on the tiny little plastic seats. We just brought out everything and it was amazing.

There's this little fried aubergine dish with lots of chilies on it and lots of, like, Singaporean Chinese-style flavors. And I couldn't tell you how we made it, but it was just delicious. Doesn't really go with fish and chips, but I quite liked it. Backs up your dance theory.

Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Yeah, sitting in a little alleyway, that's what it was. Rat alley. Rat alley. It's definitely not like a tourist space that you're looking at.

Did the man have a big chef's hat on? And is it possible there was a little rat there pulling his hair and making him make the... So that's how he's making all the food. They may well have been, actually. It was that good. It might have been better to eat. It could have been better to eat.

You could have been better to eat. It could have been better to eat. Yeah, so that was a Singapore trip, which was incredible. Like, and it is an amazing food scene. If you love food, Singapore is a city. It's fantastic, because you've got everything from street food for a pound,

food to free Michelin star chefs cooking in posh hotels. Like, there's everything that you want there. But yeah, but definitely an aubergine dish at four o'clock in the morning and rat alley next to a load of hookers was brilliant. It was a brilliant way to end the evening. You were there with loads of different chefs. Yes.

And were you all there working or was it like a... No, we were there working. We were cooking, showcasing what we do, British food and stuff out there in a different space. But then the hotel that we were working in, all the chefs that were there, then said, come on, come on out with us. So, like, when chefs get together,

it's, I mean, chefs are like pirates, is the best way of describing it. Kitchens are like pirate ships. They're full of people that have been hit over the head and woke up one morning on a boat going somewhere. And it's like they're amazing places. There's also, it's a hugely eclectic mix of people in a kitchen, but they're all there for one reason.

Most of them, when they're in their early 20s, is to get laid, drunk and cook stuff. So, basically, like, kitchens are like mental places. So, all of these chefs were out in Singapore in this crazy environment. It was brilliant. It was such a good space. And as far as I remember, because those were still in my drinking days.

So, kind of like, I remember to the aubergine after that. Who knows what. Can you have it? I didn't even better side dish after the aubergine. Yeah. And we'll never none. That's it. Yeah, that is very true.

But the aubergine is so good. Who knows what dessert was? Yeah. The aubergine's so good it punches through like the fog of that night. Yeah, it does. It does as well. And they also have something called stinky fruit.

I don't know if you've heard of it. Durian fruit. Oh, I have actually. Yeah, yeah. There is nothing so smelly and bad as durian fruit. It is the worst thing. Like, oh my God, they have massive stalls of it. And they're like great big green things

that look about the size of a watermelon. But they hum. They smell the whole of the area where they smell. And you cut them. And it's kind of like custody, rotten custody. But it's seen as a huge specialty. But they're not allowed in hotels. They're not allowed on planes.

But they are. They are. That's wrong. Rotten. That's very wrong. Have you eaten it? I have eaten it. Yeah, I have eaten it.

Does it taste as bad as it smells? It tastes worse. It was so bad. But actually, one of the chefs with us, Chris, who's my head chef of one of the places, we were out there. Chris is too polite. I had the first bit.

I was like, I'm not fucking eating any more of that. And there was another two of our head chefs out there. They were like, we're not doing that. But Chris, because he felt so polite that someone had taken us to this place. Chris ate all of ours. Oh, wow. You can see him repeating.

And then about 20 minutes later, we were in a cab. So we had to stop. He had hot sweats. He was very, it was just so bad. It was like watching him chunder on the side of the road. Stinky fruit. It's a real speciality. Out of politeness.

Yeah. Isn't it called stinky fruit for God's sakes? Do they call it stinky fruit? No, I'm sure. I might have offended a load of Singaporeans then. But you know. They call it a guff apple. As a chef, do you think like when someone offers you anything

to eat, even something that smells that bad, do you think like, well, I've got to try it? Yeah. Yeah. I try everything. Like I'm up for trying everything. Like because, you know, food is amazing. And you never know what you come across because it might be fantastic.

But, you know, also there is some pretty rogue stuff out there. But I'm quite happy to eat something like fermented shark. I've had whale. I've had these off herrings that they do in Sweden where they salt these herrings and they leave until they're rotten and then they put them in a tin and they leave it. And the tin is warped where they've fermented so much that the gas comes out of it and you're supposed to open the tin

in a bucket of water so that the smell doesn't come out. And I've eaten some of that. And we did it in a big TV studio, funny enough. We opened the tin, but not in water. And the studio was, I mean, it was huge. Like everyone had to evacuate. The smell was so bad. It was so bad.

So I've tried. They have eaten that. They've eaten century egg, you know, the Chinese thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The black egg that's been cured with horse urine originally. It's not anymore. They use a different type of acid now.

But I've eaten that as well. And that's like, I mean, yeah, that's not great neither. Are they the ones with the, you get ones with the actual like chicks still in the middle of it? Have you seen those? Yeah, I have seen those. No, I've not eaten that. That would be maybe a step too far for me.

I think like peeling the egg with the chicks. I think that would be, I don't think I could do that. On a life in a day, I saw that it's a documentary film. It's a YouTube made it. And they got people from all over the world just to film their life on. It's all the same day of the year. And they all just sent in the footage

and then YouTube cut it up and made a one long film. But one of the clips is a guy eating that. And I, all you see of that guy is that he eats that egg. And I absolutely hate him. I've never hated someone so much. I've seen such a small glimpse into his life. Do you think that is his life? What do you think he was thinking?

I want to make the edit here. Yeah, it probably showing off a bit. No, he was really proud. He was showboating it a bit because he was like, first we peeled this and then the salt and he's like, and then he puts his finger in the air like he's testing the wind and goes, so everything's done.

Then he puts it in his mouth. Absolutely gross. Did he eat it all in one? Yeah, all in one he goes. All he does is he's put, pops it in and won. I think you've got to go all in one with that, to be honest. I wouldn't want to see the inside of it. I wouldn't want to bite it in half and then be like,

lose your appetite halfway through. Like I'm a celebrity. But that's not your side dish. Let's not get side dishes. No, no, the aubergine. Well, I might change it, actually. The aubergine is the side dish. The aubergine is the side dish,

but now I'm thinking, I'm up for trying everything. Maybe a half-baked, unborn chick from an egg. It might go with fish and chips better than aubergine, who knows. Yeah, you haven't tried it yet? Yeah, it's like the ultimate pickled egg to have with fish and chips, right? Yeah, exactly. And I've got curry sauce, mushy peas and gravy

to take the taste away if I don't like it. Cover it up. Right. Yeah, it's no bother. That guy might have been teeing himself up for some fish and chips in life in a day. I don't know, that YouTube man. Maybe he's ate that little chick and then they cut it

at that point, but he might have just gone around the corner to a chippy. Yeah, very true. I used to live around the corner from a chip shop and it backed onto my garden. So when we were out playing football in the back garden, we'd always smell the fish and chips. It drove us crazy.

I set up a stand-up gig in Durham, set it up ourselves, and it was above a fish and chip shop. It was a nightclub above a fish and chip shop called Fish Tank, and it was only seated about 30 people, but it just stunk of chip oil. I love that. When was that up north? Yeah, in Durham, yeah.

So was that beef fat chip oil or was that veggie? Oh, that would have been beef fat chip oil, I'd imagine. That's what the audience to shout at the gigs. Yeah, beef. When you were doing it. Yeah, getting the crowd warmed up. That was also my nickname back then.

Fat shaving. Hence why we both went on diets and lost six stone. Yeah, and now everyone calls him beef sexy. Sexy beef. Sexy beef. Sexy beef boy. The sexy beef boy. Shout out to that chip shop, actually,

that I live, because that's still my favourite fish and chips in the whole of the world is Nick's fish and chip shop in Kettering. So it's still there? Yeah, still there. Also, a guy there called Dustin is to work there. My dad used to teach one back in the day. And then, I remember once we were walking past

the fish and chip shop and we looked in and Dustin was sitting there eating some chips. And my dad went Dustin, stuffing his face with some chips. And I laughed for so long. But he said Dustin, and I still think of it. Still make me want to laugh now. Dustin stuffing his face with some chips. Dustin stuffing his face with some chips.

Still makes me laugh. What do you got? Two drinks, sir. Well... Also, he's probably going to half and half again. Half-coated zero, half-dieted coke? Yeah, half wine, half beer. Well, it's very difficult, this,

because I'm trying to work out... So I knocked booze on the edge nearly six years ago, right? So it's become quite a huge part of my life, it's the best way of describing it. So I'm like, if this is a one-off thing, like, and it's just one-off, and it'll never affect my brain cells again, and it won't take me...

I might go for 24 cans of stellar. I might go for 24 cans of stellar. Alternatively... Absolutely love that. Why are you trying to skip over that? Yeah, alternatively, a can of diet lilt. I love diet lilt with fish and chips. You know, can of lilt.

Diet lilt, yeah. I haven't seen it in a... Well, I have had it. Actually, that's when I was going to say I haven't seen it in ages. I had some yesterday. With your eyes closed. Yeah. But it's one of the...

So, you know, it depends on how bad we've been. I mean, I've gone for fish and chips. So if I'm going all in, and it's one day only, and it's not going to take me down the route that I went down, yeah, maybe a whole slab of stellar. Yeah. That would... Yeah, that would...

Why stellar? Of all of the beers? Well, I think when you have an issue with alcohol, you look for the ones that hit the spot quicker. Yeah, right. Stellar certainly does that. Stellar's straight there. Yeah.

Specifically 24 cans of it. Yeah, well, like, you load up with 24, and then you see where an evening goes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's free. I think the fact that 24 cans of Stellar probably shows that you are right to knock it on their head, Tom. Yeah.

If that's your go-to. Do you want them as separate cans? Or, because I can do whatever you want here, I can do those one big guzzler can for you that's like 24 cans with a little straw, maybe. Well, actually, well, if we're going for it, and we're in a restaurant, and it's like, I wouldn't mind one of those, like, really comedy hats.

Yeah. Have cans in that you could sit in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And then a straw. Do you want one of those that can fit 24 cans in there? Yeah, 12 each side would be amazing. It's like a huge Stetson. Yeah, that would be great.

Yeah, that would be great. Can you arrange that, Mr. Genie? Yeah, I'll sort that out for you. There we are. No worries. One Stetson beer dome coming right up. 24 cans of Stellar. Yeah.

Oh, Lilz could. Did they still want to do one flavor of Lilz? For a while, they did another one, and it was... They did, didn't they? They did another one that was a little bit more apricot. Yeah, mango, he apricot. He was like, he was mango. That's too tropical for me, I think.

Yeah, a bit too tropical for mango. And Lilz's already totally tropical. It is totally tropical. Yeah. What is it? Pineapple grapefruit? Yeah. Yeah, I want one now.

Also, and you know what? If you've got the hat, and as it's you, you're allowed the hat with 24 cans of Stellar, and then at the top of the hat, there's a Lilz as well with a separate straw. I love that. I love it. Yeah, that's great.

So that probably makes the worst Shandy. Yeah. Lilz and Stellar. I'd like a Stellar Lilz top, please. Oh, God. So there's Diet Lilz now. Well, that's because I've gone, because if I was going really good,

I'd go low sugar. So I'd go low sugar. If I, in my, in like real world now, it would be Diet Lilz. Yes. No sugar, like, but if we're going in... There's a dream restaurant. There's a dream restaurant,

and the chaos and mayhem, the part of drinking that I loved, with the bits that you go, yeah, this is great. Yeah. That I would go with a Stellar. But then I see a diet drink. So I stopped drinking cola,

all brands of cola, like five years ago, about five, maybe a bit longer than that, and just didn't drink anything like that for ages, and then started drinking Diet Coke again about a year ago. And now, this is the most boring thing I've... I say this to people all the time.

It's the most boring thing I say to anyone. It just tastes like normal Coke. That's pretty boring. Because I haven't had full fat Coke in so many years, and I didn't even drink Diet Coke in that time. Yeah. So then when I went back to Diet Coke, yeah, I said this tastes like a normal Coca-Cola.

And you established it was boring, and you said it, and we all agreed with our eyes that it was boring, and then you thought, I'm going to explain it again. Here's the thing, even though I know it's boring, I still love telling people about it.

Yeah. Because, genuinely, I feel like it's my biggest life hack. Yeah. Stop drinking all Coke products for five years. Five years. Yeah, what a life hack. And then go in again,

but just the Diet range. And then everything will taste like it did before. So it's like you're having a naughty drink, but you're not. Now we come to the dessert. Speaking of being naughty, this is where most people can be quite naughty. Yes.

And I think, I mean, you've been pretty naughty so far. Yeah, I have. Yeah, so I'm going full on for, I'm going to go for a Nickabock glory from the Bernie Inns circa 1982. What's the trouble for a time? That's like the dream.

Bernie Inns, I don't know, Bernie Inns, I'm not familiar. You're not old enough, that'll be why. So Bernie Inns were like the first kind of, not gastropub, but they were like a, I suppose a brand, a themed pub

that was a bit like beef eaters. It was just like that before them. And they used to do like half a roast chicken with fries and peas that had been left under the hot lamps for ages. So they were like little dried up things. And they would do, it would have like donuts as a dessert.

And it was one of those places that you used to have, you used to have fruit juice as a starter. That was on the start. Oh yeah. Like that. Mitch Gosman talked about this. Yeah.

So there you go. So it was back to that, that sort of era. But they used to do Nickabock glories, I think these great big tall glasses and there's like a 1982, I'd have been like nine. So like as a chubby nine year old,

you're like, this is the dream. Yeah. Like chocolate sauce and strawberry sauce and like everything about it. There was probably no real ice cream in it. It's all that synthetic. So it was just like, I mean, yeah, amazing places.

They were the first part, they were the first gastropubs, Bernie Inns. Bernie Inns. When you mined that then, the Nickabock of Glory, you did it from a child's perspective because I doubt they were as big

as you showed us then. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking, yeah, roughly what's that the size of it? I'm just saying. I'm actually going to look at it. What's that?

I mean, that's like two firsts. That's a small cabinet. Yeah. Yeah. And you just, you just mined for that. So remember what it was like it's nine looking up at it with four.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's my memory of my first banana split was that it was the size of an actual boat. Yeah. Yeah. That I had.

And it was like humongous. And it was, still the best banana split I've ever had. I remember it was, it was a meal that we went for. I don't know where it was, but my cousins were there. I remember that.

And we all did this banana split. It's massive. One of the scoops of ice cream in there was pistachio, which at that age I definitely didn't like. Yeah. But I ate the whole thing. Everyone was really impressed.

I ate the whole thing. And then I went around polishing off other people's ones. That's how much I love that banana split. It's your finest moment. And since then, well, basically I haven't had a banana split for years.

And now I'm going to go and dye it banana split so it tastes exactly the same. No. Just bananas. Yeah. Just bananas, yeah. That's a diet banana split. Dye banana split.

It's just a banana, isn't it? Just a banana. A little life hack. Cut a banana in half. So take us through layer by layer in the Nicarbaca glory. You've got to have like crunchy crispy bits at the bottom.

And that's the bit that you always want to get to. So you have special spoons, don't you? Like you have special Nicarbaca spoons. Yeah. And that's the bit you want to get to. So it's trying to get to the crunchy bits at the bottom, whilst not getting your knuckles covered

in the top of the cream. And the like bright, luminous red kind of clear, strawberry sauce. Yeah. So you've got different layers of ice cream, different layers of crunch texture. I mean, it's just layer upon layer of cream,

ice cream, sauce, broken biscuits. Basically. So is that the crunch, broken biscuits? Broken biscuits. I imagine it was broken biscuits. I can't, I mean, you know. You can ask for what you want, isn't it? You can.

Yeah, you can have some broken biscuits. What kind of biscuits do you want when you break up in the Nicarbaca glory? Well, I don't know. I mean, I'm partial to a hobnob. Quite like a hobnob. Yeah, they're quite good. It's a crunchy biscuit as well.

It is a crunchy biscuit, and it's got that lovely little salty, kind of OTT thing to it. And that's the thing that takes biscuits to the next level. Pinch of salt. No, yeah, salty biscuits. I'm a big fan of salt and sweet.

You know that? Yeah. Don't know why I'm telling you. You should be telling Tom. Is it when he doesn't know? Everyone loves salt caramel, don't they? Yeah, well, you think? Some people don't.

And those people... Who doesn't like salty caramel? They really get to me when they say they don't like it. Yeah. I met a few people who say they don't like it. They maybe make a point of it as well, like they're better than me. Talk to us about the flavours of ice cream.

What's going into it? Well, you've got to have vanilla, right? But we've got to a point. So where we cook now, vanilla ice cream like tastes of vanilla and not too sugary. But in those days, vanilla ice cream didn't taste of vanilla. It tasted of sugar.

So you just go... So it's got to have, just have this white, like white, sweet, cold ice cream. You've got to have chocolate in there. Chocolate ice cream would be amazing. You've got to have strawberry in there. Pistachio would be quite nice. But that's a little bit,

I think that's a little bit too left field for a proper 1982 Nicobocca glory. That's not authentic, yeah. I think you've got chocolate, vanilla, strawberry. But the thing is, when I remember and look back at it, I don't think any of them tasted of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. I think they just all were just different colours

of the same ice cream. Just cold. Yeah, cold, sweet. But I'll go for that. Yeah. You know, we've gone for it. I mean, I've drunk 24 cans of Stella by now. I don't even care.

I mean, you're not remembering this course, are you? Maybe that's what I had in Singapore. Yeah, yeah, you could have had this Nicobocca glory as well. Cherry on top? Definitely, yeah, glassy cherry. Glassy cherry. And do you know what? Let's put sparklers in it.

So let's have sparklers going on the top as well. Yeah, first bites with the eye. Yeah. You were saying, I picked up in the chef industry, you know, Tom, when he was working in the kitchen, he said, first bites with the eye. First bites with the eye. It's not literal.

I don't want you to get mistaken there, Tom. It means that has to look good, OK? Yeah, got you. So the cover of your next book is just you with loads of mashed potatoes on your eyes. I worked, well, now I'm thinking, if I should mention the establishments, because I've definitely mentioned one of them

in a negative light in the past. I've not named it for legal reasons. But I worked at the, and I worked at The Star in Geddington. So The Star was like a family run place. Very nice little village pub, all home cooked stuff. And the **** was part of a chain of, you know, it had a soft play area in it. Does that give you a good idea of what kind of a place it is?

I love that play. I love that. Your places have got soft play areas. No, I'm thinking it might be a way forward. You know, like, why not? Let's have a... I've mentioned The Star Restaurant with a soft play area. I think that's a great idea.

And were you the mashed king at both places? No, I was mashing at the village pub. We weren't making mash at the other one. I mean, maybe people were making mash there, but I can't remember people doing it. I was mainly putting stuff in microwaves. And I did do desserts there, actually. I did make the Sundays there.

That was quite, I enjoyed that. Once we had this gingerbread ice cream, which was like, I loved it. And we didn't have it for very long. For what it was, it was like a limited Sunday. It was this gingerbread Sunday. It was gingerbread and chocolate ice cream. And on the last day of that,

they would say this is the last day we're doing the gingerbread Sundays now. And there was like one tub left. And I was like, said to my friend Graham, whatever's left in that tub at the end of the day, I'm eating it. It was a full tub. I was like, so I really was hoping all day

that people didn't order the gingerbread Sunday. Probably about two people did. The rest of it is still in there. And because I was so honest at that point, I was like, I should probably buy it off of them. I can't just eat it before they throw it. So I went to the manager and said, can I buy this off you?

It was a little tub. He went, yep, I'll just work it out. And he basically worked out how many scoops were in there roughly, how many Sundays they would have sold for that amount of money and charged me for that many Sundays. So I paid about 40 quid

for a tub of ice cream and stopped there eating it before it melts. So I was like, it'll be melt by the time I get home. So I did buy it. I can see this is where the floor in your chef and career went. Every chef that I know, the best,

they steal everything. They rob the whole lot. They'd have eaten the ice cream through silver. They'd have eaten it before the customers have ordered it. They'd go, it's the last one. Anyway, I'm eating it. And the chef came on and said, can I have a gingerbread?

So then they're gone. Nah, all gone. All gone. It wasn't your cooking ability that let you down. It was your ability to rob stuff. Yeah, let's be conscious. Too honest to be a chef, mate.

Yeah. Really regret doing it. But such good ice cream. Oh, my God. That, I'm talking about the gingerbread spice ice cream that came out on Christmas, the Ben and Jerry's one. Yeah. I mean, you probably didn't have that

because you're a good boy now. But like, holy mackerel. Good? Yes. Holy mackerel was a more disappointing Ben and Jerry's flavor. They got too experimental. Yeah. Calling stinky fruit flavor ice cream.

Did not go well. Well, I think that's a great meal. Oh, yeah. Yes. I'll just read it back to you, Tom. So we make sure we've got it right. Water you would like half and half. Well, not like, but I'll go with it.

Yeah. I'm just happy whatever. Whatever. Whatever's easiest. Whatever's easiest. Whatever's easiest. But I'll tell you what's going to happen every time I come over.

I'm going to pour both in at once. Yeah. Yeah. So it's actually, I'm doing the most hard thing. And that would really annoy you. You want bread. You want a proper, warm, crispy, crunchy, baguette, soft on the other side

with those freshly made butter. Or do we specifically want the bread from that restaurant? Do you just want that bread? It sounds like you should have the bread from that restaurant. I'd like the bread from Franson, please. Yeah. It's a three mission style restaurant in Stockholm. Yeah, you can have the Franson bread.

You would like Calamari and Mayo for your starter. Maybe the one that you had in Greece. Yeah, definitely. But not the reformed one. Like proper fresh grid. Proper French. Fish and chips is your main. You didn't specify a place for the fish and chips.

No, because I think you can have it anyway. You can have it like in posh restaurants. Let's have it on a beach sat on the North Kent coast. But you wanted everything on there, didn't you? Everything from all over the country on there. Gravy, mushy peas and curry sauce. Rat alley aubergine. Yeah, a bit of rat alley aubergine.

That's a bit. Yeah, rat alley aubergine. Definitely. Drink you would like. Stetson beer dome with 24 cans of Stella and a diet lilt with a separate straw. Yes, please. You just make a mock of glory for Bernie's in circa 1982.

Right meal. That's perfect. Yeah. Delicious meal. Thank you very much, Tom. Thank you very much. Thank you so much, Tom. Tom Carridge.

What a meal. What a meal. What a guy. What a guy. Always, I think, it's when we have someone that we don't know on or that we haven't met before, we're always a bit more like, OK, we need to make sure this goes well, because we're going to look like a couple of punks in front of us

for someone we don't know. Yep. And you know what, he was such a lovely, relaxed man. I think it all went fine, didn't it? We felt at ease immediately. Yeah, it was good. What a meal as well. I didn't expect it.

No? Didn't expect, I mean, I guess, you know, if you kind of think people who are mission star chefs, maybe they just like, you know, they just crave fish and chips, sure. Yeah. But, you know, I didn't expect it. Nice.

I liked it. It's good. Good stories as well. Yeah. Great stories. And he didn't mention quinoa. He didn't. That's the crucial thing.

He did not mention quinoa. I was, I thought he might mention quinoa, because there is a recipe that looks very delicious. Yeah. That has quinoa in it in his new book, Tom Carage's Fresh Starts. Yes, that is true. There's a lot of great recipes in there.

Are we having a flick through earlier on? We're having a little flick through. I'm sure you've loved it. It's accessible stuff that you can cook at home that looks fresh, healthy and impressive. Yeah. Well done, Tom. Good book.

You can put that on the cover of the next one. Well done, Tom. Good book. James A. Caster. Yeah. GD. GD wearing on socks. Thank you very much for listening.

As always, like, subscribe, review, all of that stuff. Follow us on social media out of your new official. And just keep going. We've been, I'll be honest, James. I've been quite overwhelmed by the response to the podcast so far. It's been lovely. Please keep on harassing Joel Domit, all the listeners. Please keep on trolling him and having to go at him for his meal.

We're really enjoying seeing that. Hey, guys. I'm on tour. Eddie's on tour doing his show at Blizzard, aren't you? Starts at the end of January? Starts at the end of January. All through the months of 2019. Come and give it a watch.

Lovely stuff, Ed. It's a funny old show, guys. Feel free to approach me if you see me and ask me pop a domes or bread. Yes. What am I doing? On tour also. And... I'm looking forward to mine more than James by the sounds of it.

No, I'm looking forward to it, sure. And that episode of Pointless that I mentioned in the episode, that would have gone out by the time this podcast was out. So you can probably find that on iPlayer. Yeah. Watch that. See how me and Joel do. But, you know, you've heard Joel's off menu.

I'm teamed with an absolute pig shit. So how am I meant to do? Bad luck, Joel. It's not even your episode anymore. You're getting called a pig shit. Yeah, doesn't everything sound, Joel? I had to throw myself down on the line with you and say, dark chocolate in a spag bowl.

And it was in his chili. That is the biggest sting. The fact that he does actually put it in one of his dishes and it's in his chili. So close. And he would have done it to plump up the beef as well. That is so annoying. Well, guys, thank you for listening to another wonderful episode. We'll see you next week.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Bon appetit. Oh, I didn't have to say what I wanted to say. I wanted to embarrass it at one point. Me and Ed were playing a game once with some friends. Oh, yeah, this is true, actually. This is good fun.

We're playing a game. It's quite a complicated game to try and describe, actually. But the game was basically you've got an island, you've got your own island. And it was just like, first of all, it's like you're allowed five animals on the island. We all had to choose what five animals we would have on our island. And then it was you have like five films you can watch on the island and like dishes and all that. And then one time it was five celebrities you can have on your island.

And we all had to choose. And Ed chose Tom Carridge. You and his five people he would have on the island because he wanted someone to cook for him. And it seemed like you'd be a laugh on an island. Yeah, no, I'd be well up for that. Great. Yeah, when are we going?

We can go right now. I love that. Honestly, I'm honored. That's made me feel warm inside. Well, do you want to hear what company you're in? Oh, yeah. You were my first choice and then I panicked off to that. He was such a flyer.

And then watch this. Get ready to go rapidly descend downhill with your company. You're probably sharing a little building with these. Sandy from Gogglebox. Sandra from Gogglebox, yeah. She seems like a proper laugh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good fun.

Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg. Yeah, Snoop Dogg's our cookbook. Has he? Yeah, we could be cooking hip hop food from Snoop Dogg's cookbook. This is so funny. All right, he's actually working out pretty well. Yeah, this is good.

Can you help us up cookbooks? Miriam Margolis? You know Miriam Margolis? You might have had... So, Rose, gather me a people you got hanging out together. I did panic a little bit. But you're very welcome on the island. Thank you.

I quite happily like fires and cook stuff all day long. Someone's got to catch it, though. Hopefully we all get on well. It doesn't end with you desperately trying to build a raft out of empty stellar cans. Hello, it's me, Amy Gladhill. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato, and our relationship's never been the same since.

And I am joined by... Me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case... Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News.

It's about all the news stories that we've missed out from the North, because look, we're two Northerners. Sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The news stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off, and that's a new podcast called Northern News we'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on.

Get Glyll's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.