Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 96: Thanyia Moore

Episode Date: March 24, 2021

Comedian and ‘Mock the Week’ star Thanyia Moore’s inviting her best pals to her dinner party – but who’s more of a knobhead, Ed or James?Follow Thanyia on Twitter and Instagram: @ThanyiaMooreVisit Thanyia’s website thanyiamoore.co.ukRecorded by and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, where we take the finest chat meat and smoke it with the wood of fun over an hour and then create the most wonderful, tender podcast available. Hello, James. Hello, Ed. I heard a little bit of your confidence wavered halfway through that, but you brought it home. Yes, it was towards the end. I hadn't worked out what it was making. And then I realised

it's the podcast, isn't it? And then I said, wonderful tender podcast, which doesn't... I mean, none of it made sense, but sort of tender podcast was really the bottom of the old barrel there. Not many people describe this podcast as tender, but I wish they would. Yes, exactly. Sorry. And hello. It's a podcast where we are in the dream restaurant, we invite a guest, and we ask them their favourite ever start at Main Course Dessert, Side Dish and Drink. And this week's guest, it is... That was really good, James. I'm sorry to interrupt your flow, but you did it all in the right

order and you did it quickly, and it was great. Well done. Well, I think I did it in the wrong order, but I did do it quickly. It was really good. Well, anyway, it was so slick. I didn't notice it was in the wrong order. Thank you, Ed. I was trying to do it as tenderly as possible. Oh, I like it. A special guest this week is... Tanya Moore. Tanya Moore, a wonderful comedian. She's been on loads of stuff. She's very funny. She's been on Mock the Week. She's been on Dame Baptiste Famous. She's been on Moe

Gilligan's Black British and Funny. You've got to go and watch all of her stuff. She's fantastic. We've now got her in the dream restaurant. We can't wait to hear what she's going to choose. I'm very excited to have her in the dream restaurant. Although, as always, there is a secret ingredient. If she says it, she's gone. She's out of here. We don't care how funny she is. She's gone. Sorry. And the secret ingredient this week is dark fruit cider. This was suggested by a listener. I'm not really a dark fruit cider slash cider guy at all, really.

No, you know, I don't drink much cider, generally speaking, but when the dark fruit cider came out or any of the fruit ciders came out, I was like, I bet this would be right up my street. This would be delicious. I've got a sweet tooth. Disgusted. Really? Because I would say any site, they do weird salted caramel ciders and stuff. But I would have thought that's so up your street. Two sickly man. I've got a sweet tooth, not a sickly tooth. That was suggested by Joe Bleesdale on Twitter. Thank you very much, Joe. Wonderful. Suggested. Bleesdale.

If you would like... Bleesdale. If you would like to suggest a secret ingredient. Try and say that. It's really fun. For us to do. You're missing out if you don't say Bleesdale like that. On Twitter, you too can have your name shouted in a sort of football chant by James. Bleesdale. Bleesdale.

Yes. Bleesdale. It's a lot of fun. It does feel nice to say it like that. I bet Bleesdale's done that himself. Bleesdale's over the moon with that. I bet he said that in the past. I bet he's like, oh yeah, they're doing what I do when I say my name. Yeah. Bleesdale.

What, you think if like in a sort of scenario where everyone's like, who's here? Who's in the room? Yeah. Bleesdale. He does it himself. Bleesdale. And they're like, yeah, there he is. All other people are shouting that to him across the street.

Bleesdale. It feels good to say it. It does feel good. Well, thank you. Bleesdale. Like I say, if you've got your own secret ingredient at Off Menu Official on Twitter, is the place to go. But now, let's hear the off menu menu of...

Tanya Moore. Tanya, welcome to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you. Welcome, Tanya Moore, to the Dream Restaurant. We're being expected to give us some time. There's the Genie welcoming you. A wonderful welcome there, Genie. I've got to say.

Quite a good sound. One of our better sound effects this week. Yeah, I was just thinking because, Tanya, quite... I mean, you should feel privileged, really, because quite often it's a bit of a damp squib, a bit of a light squirt from the lamp there. What? Are you offended by that, Genie? We've never said that before.

Well, because I don't want to do you down at the beginning of the episode normally. You never said it on an episode or off an episode to me. That's never been... But you've nailed it now. I didn't think it was good. I thought that was quite a good... Exactly. So let's focus on that.

Yeah, I thought the actual sound was good. Yeah, sorry, Tanya. It didn't mean this to be an argument straight away. I was trying to compliment... This is what happens when you're trying to compliment James. He was nagging me, wasn't he? Tanya, you'll back me up on this. He was nagging me there.

God, I just derived. How are we doing? Say, I'm late. What did I miss? Oh, you missed a nagging. He came up to me and he was like, Oh, well done. Usually, you're rubbish.

Oh. No, I didn't say that. Sorry, Tanya. Welcome to the Dream Restaurant. This is your dream meal. You don't need to be hearing us bickering. Are you a foodie? Do you enjoy food?

Massive foodie. Love food. My mum is a chef. My best friend's a chef. We eat lots of different foods. All kinds of foods. Your mum's a chef? Yeah.

We had no idea. That's not why we booked you for this, but this is great. I love it. Tell me more about your mum as a chef and what she cooks, what's her best dishes. Tell me everything.

Oh, well, she cooks everything. So growing up, we used to celebrate all of the national dishes, so like Chinese New Year and all the kinds. So we'd eat all the different types of foods and just travel in the kitchen, really. And I, I know even after all of that, my favourite meal my mum makes is a cottage pie.

It's just really bloody good. What's her secret? What makes it edge or the other cottage pies? It's just, it's the right amount of everything. The right amount of potato to the mince ratio. There's a little bit of cheese in the potato, and then it's on top as well with the right amount of crust.

The potato is still soft and fluffy, and then the mince is rich and the gravy's rich, and then you've got the vegetables. It's just right, it's right. Now, straight away, I know it's going to be a good, a good food, so,

because that was a great description of cottage pie there by Tanya. Now, I don't, I'm not normally a cottage pie guy. I find it a bit bland. Like, there's a place for it sometimes, but the way she just described cottage pie was like, I think I love cottage pie.

A bit. In cookery class, in school, I made a cottage pie really early. Well, I didn't make, early door was one of our lessons, and my mum was absolutely appalled by this. One of the first lessons in our cookery class was ready meals.

They just made us go out and buy a ready meal, bring it in a microwave, and that was a lesson. What? In my cookery class. So like, yeah, lesson one, and I went out and I bought a cottage pie, and then I came back.

I microwaved it and ate it, and it was really, really salty. That's miserable. I told you. It was on the curriculum. The first lesson in a cookery class is, just don't do any cooking then, call for a takeaway is the next lesson.

Was that a school? Did you go to an actual building or something in the house? My mum was appalled, came back and really proudly told her I made a cottage pie in school. She was like, Mike, tell me how you make it.

You open the microwave. You pierce the film lid. That's very important. Yes, she was not happy. We don't have a microwave. We moved about 18 months ago, and there's no microwave here, and there's no room for a microwave,

so I don't miss it, and I certainly don't miss piercing the film lid. I think that's a good thing, though, not having a microwave, because it means everything you eat will be fresh, right? Well, you would have thought so, but I still managed to eat some

absolutely miserable shit. Like what? Life finds a way, Tanya. Life finds a way, with this guy. Why don't you miss piercing the film lid? Ba-ba-ba! I love it. Oh, I don't know.

It just feels like it's so bleak and depressing. Tanya, do you like piercing the film lid? Sometimes I do. Take us through when do you like piercing the film lid? When you have to get a... You can't get a budget. You have to go for the premium range. Right.

And I like getting an Indian from there sometimes. I think it tastes all right once you season it. Yeah, so you're... Are you adding stuff to the microwave meal? Yes. So you're getting a microwave curry. Yeah. You're piercing the film lid.

You open it. You open it. You don't pierce it. At this point, it's savagery. You just take it off. You season it. You put a bit... You've got to mix it in, though.

Season it a little bit. And then you put it in. Take it out halfway. Taste it. Make sure you put enough seasoning in. If not, that's your opportunity. Put it back in. Let it finish.

I mean, at this point, Tanya, why don't you just cook a curry? If that was my cookery class lesson, my mum would have been happy. Here's how I made the ready meal, Mum. I peeled the film lid. I seasoned it. I mixed it up. I put it in.

I took it out. Added some extra potatoes and extra meat. I hate you for that. What seasoning do you put to get a microwave curry? It depends on what curry you get, but it's normally just a bit of salt. Sometimes there's salt that you get. See, I only know this because my flatmates are here.

So there's salt that you get that goes with everything, but it's not just salt. It's got differences. These are all in it. And I wish I knew what was in it. I just know you can put it on literally anything. She puts it on pizza. Like James says, ready meals tend to be quite salty anyway.

The idea of you being like, let's add a shitload more salt to this microwave curry. You must just feel so dry all of the time. You're just chugging pints of water. Why am I so thirsty? I've really got into garlic pepper. It's good stuff. What a game changer.

Sometimes I don't want to chop up garlic. And the recipe says I've got to pepper it. I'm completely with you. Love garlic granules. Always have a pot of garlic granules. I go through that stuff. From like, if I'm just wanting boring lunch, just whack a bit of chicken breast in the oven.

Garlic granules, chili powder, cake it and stuff. Whack it in. But garlic granules are the way forward. Absolutely. The best way to use garlic granules is if you put like a little bit of butter in the pan. A little bit of garlic granules. So you've got this great garlic butter

that you can fry like whatever in salmon. Chicken breast. Add that to a microwave curry. I hate you. This is the quickest that any guest has hated Ed. Yes, normally it takes at least half an hour. But I've really not let the microwave curry thing go. So fair enough.

Normally the episode starts with me doing a sound effect and the guest thinks he's the knobhead in this duo. I've really got to keep an eye on him. And then halfway through the episode they realise Ed's actually the worst. Yeah, Ed's the worst one. You very quickly identified Ed's the worst actually. I don't know if he's the worst.

I hate him right now. I'm definitely going with you're the knobhead, right? Still can't take that from me, Gamble, bad luck. Oh man, now I want to be the knobhead. When you pierce the film lid, would you prefer to use a knife or a fork? It has to be a fork. Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah, because you're trying to make little holes in it, right? You don't, with a knife what you're doing is you're just punching a big hole in it. But also, with a fork, you're getting like a fork in one stab. Yeah. A knife, you're just hitting it once. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, I agree with you, but I've met knife people before. No, come on. Gosh. I've met people who knife the film lid. I've met these people. I've seen them do it. Savage. I bet they're the ones that bend on the left, aren't you?

Yeah, probably are actually. Yeah. Well, actually, I'll tell you who I'm talking about specifically. And we don't do many ready meals in this flat, but the other day, my girlfriend put a ready meal in the microwave and it dinged, so I got it out for her. And I was like, oh, man. I said, this is a close call.

You're lucky that I got to it when I did, because you've not pierced the film lid. She was like, yeah, I have. How about a closer look? I looked and there were tiny little slits in it because she'd used a knife. Oh, man. I couldn't believe my eyes.

And I didn't want to start an argument. It's a lockdown times. You know, we get what a, you know. How long have you been together? Two years. Oh, it's too late now. It's too late to back out. And you didn't know that?

We haven't used it. Like I say, ready meals are very rare around here, but I couldn't believe my eyes. I was like, the knife's the film lid. Yeah, man. The thing is now it's too late to back out the relationship based on that. Yes.

First six months, if you find that out, I think you can go, look, you're a knife or I'm a forker. Yes. Yes. I guess I could steadily get rid of all the knives from the house. So she hasn't got a choice next time. But what if she spoons it? Oh, she'll spoon it.

And then you get rid of the spoons and just start using her finger. Yeah, these people are like... Tanya, you wake up one day, all you've got is ready meals. You can't leave the house. You've got to eat ready meals. You're looking to cut the withdraw. There's no knives, no forks.

Let's take the spoons away as well. So of all the other types of cutery, all the other things, what are you going to use to pierce the film lid? You know, the thing that you stab the meat with, and it's got two forks like this. Right, yeah. Yeah. That thing, like that.

Yes. I don't know what that's called either. No, but it stabs the meat. But it's got two bits at the end and you just, uh-uh-uh. Yeah. Two stabs at once. And you've still got little holes. And it's not a knife.

Not a knife. Not a fork. It's mainly just a steady stuff. It's the pin down the meat. It's the, yeah. Yeah. Ed? Key.

I'd use a key. Well, that's not cut of it. It's cheating there. Yeah, but I... That's an hygienic as well. Oh, where do you think I'm putting my keys? In a dirty old box. You're going to pierce it and touch the...

Come on. My locks aren't dirty. Thank you. Your keys stuck on the floor, babe. Mine don't. I keep good hold of my keys. Thank you, Tanya. Rattling them out in your pocket? Nah.

I keep them on a little, um... I don't have them in my pocket. I keep them on a carabiner on my belt loop. A carabiner? Yeah. Where's your house at the top of a mountain? I put that... I clip them on my belt loop because, um...

When I was in Japan, all the cool dads did that. So I wanted to copy the cool dads. They all wear great jeans and have their keys on carabiners. Like a janitor. You're a cool dad. Well, I'm not a dad. I'm cool. No, you're a cool dad. Oh, right.

We always start the podcast with still or sparkling water. That looks like some still water, unless my eyes deceive me. Um... I start with water for a meal, definitely always. Cleanse the palate, so they say. And it's always still. It's always still or... I tend to go with a warm lemon water.

Oh, hello. You seem quite straightforward about this. You're like, it's warm lemon water. There must be a reason for this. You went really serious there, Tanya. I don't know if you realise, you went really serious there. You've been... Yeah.

You've been very light-hearted so far. And you said warm lemon water, and you looked at us like, fucking bring it on if you want to make fun of my warm lemon water. I like warm lemon water. And we could... And we could make fun of that. Easy.

Here's what I'm going to say. Here's my way of making fun of it. Oh, how did you discover you liked that? Did they bring it out in a bowl after you had some ribs and you drank it all down? Because normally that's... Finger bowl. They bring it out to clean your fingers, right?

Yeah. Warm lemon water. Well, with my mum being a chef, I would know that, not bad. Well, you know... When I said it, you'd even laughed or got angry, and I thought, well, I need to really hammer this home. If I'm going to get a reaction here.

So, warm lemon water to just, like, cleanse your mouth a bit. Get ready to taste some good flavours. So it's just like... It's just a cleansing thing. It's to create a blank canvas. Just blank... For the flavour painting.

I love it. Just ready to go. How much lemon you're putting in there? Half. Now, half a lemon or half a glass? Squeeze. Half a lemon. Into a cup, you mug.

Into a cup, you mug. Not into a mug, you cup. No. No, into a mug, yeah. Down that and then get ready for your start. It's always a starter. Ed's going to be happy immediately there. That's what I like to hear.

I'm a starter boy. I absolutely love it. There is always a starter when I go out to eat as well. Sometimes many starters. And not even a discernible main. I'll just keep ordering starters. Agreed. That's the way to go.

It makes sense. Yeah. Bit too much nodding going on there for my life. I'm not keen on this starter talk. Here's the thing. I want to talk more about the warm lemon water. And I know you think, why would they possibly want to talk about that still?

But we've never had someone say warm lemon water before. Yeah. Normally, it's just still sparkling. And we've never had warm water, I don't think. No. And certainly not warm lemon water. What temperature are you talking here? Okay.

So I'm really particular with it because I go two-thirds warm hot and then the last third cold. So to get the warm water, you go two-thirds boiling hot and then one-third cold water. Yeah. Really cold. Sometimes put into a cube device. Oh.

Hold on a second. I can't tell if that's a joke or not. I really, really am not joking. I'm being so serious. So to make warm water, you mix boiling hot water and ice. Is that what you're doing? Yeah. Now, there might be another way of doing it.

And to get the lemon, you're getting a lime and a yellow felt tip. I hate you. Still in the sink in gamble bad luck. Yeah, it still hates me. You're still a knob bed though. Yeah, yeah. Not fair enough. Poppadobs or bread?

Poppadobs or bread, Tanya more? Poppadobs or bread? No, I'm bread. I'll just bread. Any bread you like, any bread in the whole world. Oh, that's hard. This is like pre-meal and you can have anything to accompany it that you want. Pre-meal, definitely poppadobs with the onion salad and mango chutney.

Slash that into a sandwich, poppadobs sandwich. You're good to go. Poppadobs sandwich. So you're using two poppadobs and putting all the stuff in the middle. Well, you break it off, don't you? And then you just get a bit and you put some onion and some mango, put poppadobs on top. Oh, it's the best thing. Yeah.

It's great. I don't think I've ever done the sandwich. I think I would always put it on like a pizza and then and then do that. You're missing out. You're getting that extra crunch telling you it's got to be a sandwich. I would be scared that it would all like that I bite into it and it would all just disintegrate in my hands like the rest of it wouldn't hold you down. No, no, no.

You've got to break it off and you just break off a bit because you know it will fall apart. Break a bit off, put some onion, put some mango, break off another bit, put that on top, put that in your mouth. Bite size. Basically. So you're not doing it like a taco? No, no. Oh, God, no.

Or two. Yeah, like whole poppadobs. No. Like massive. No, I'm not like that. Well, if you're in your own home and no one else is there, would you do the whole poppadobs? No.

Why not? That's messy. First of all, then I've got to clean up. Eat in the bath. Eat in the bath. What? Get in the bath with the poppadobs. You get one of those bath tables, you know, that go across the bath.

You can lay out all the poppadobs stuff on there. That sounds great. I'm going to do that. No, you're not. Please record it. I am. I am going to do it and I am going to record it. I'm going to release it as an episode of this podcast,

a video of me eating a poppadobs sandwich in the bath. Well, I mean, Ed. Yes? You know what our listeners are like? Yeah. That's not going away now. No, you've said that. No, you've said that.

You won't stop getting tweets about that until you do it. Yeah. Well, I won't have time to get tweets about it because I'll release it before this episode comes out. You're going to do it immediately. Yeah. Poppadobs in the bath. Film yourself eating it.

Poppadobs sandwich in the bath. I'm going to be refreshing the lady. And I'm going to be refreshing myself. Oh, don't disgust it. I don't know why it was gross. It wasn't gross. I'm having a wash. I'm allowed to have a wash.

Yeah. You said it in a way that sounded dirty. And while I'm in there, I'll give McKee's a little scrub as well. So, fine. Yeah. Much needed scrub, hanging off that filthy carabiner. That's my wrestler name.

Filthy carabiner. Filthy carabiner. Now we come to your starter. All in a starter. I found it hard to choose a starter today because there's so many that were great. But today's one is ackee and saltfish in a dumpling, in a fried dumpling.

And it's really nice. It's a savory dumpling. You make it out of like flour and water and other seasonings. And then you put it into a bowl. Make it into a dough, sorry. And then you rip it up, put it into a bowl. You drop it into the oil for a bit. And then when you take it out,

it's golden on the outside, but fluffy on the inside. So when you open it up, you know when you make fresh bread and you just rip it open and you've got all the scents and it's all smoke and it's wonderful. And then you get the ackee and the saltfish. You know, with the ackee and the saltfish, ackee is Jamaica's national dish. I'm Jamaican.

And it's like grown from the earth. And then you pluck that from the tree. And then you have onions and peppers and other bits in there. And you fry that off lightly with some saltfish that you've steamed because you don't want it to be too salty. It ruins the meal. And then you put the ackee in at the last minute

because it's already really cooked. You only have to really cook it for a little bit. Once that's done, you put that on the dumpling. Magic. That is a good food description. I've had ackee and saltfish before. Really like it. Yeah.

I'm still not 100% on what ackee is because texturally, there's nothing like it, right? Yes. Is it a fruit? Yes. But it's not like any fruit I've ever had before because it's sort of, is it correct to say it's a bit, it looks a bit like scrambled egg?

Yeah, I would say that as well. Yeah. I still don't really know what it is. No, I'll be honest with you. I've just accepted it. It's ackee. That's what it is. Yeah.

The only thing that I have to contribute to the saltfish chat is that I had, and I think it's the same as what you're describing, these saltfish dumplings once. And I thought they were delicious. And it was when I lived near Brixton. And do you know Tsukisa? Tsukisa Bosphate Barnes is a comedian. She lives around there as well.

We were going home from a gig and I just moved there because she was saying, oh, there's a lot of good places for Caribbean food around here. And I was like, yeah, you've been to rum kitchen and then she just laughed for ages. It was really embarrassing. And this is why I hesitate to say rum kitchen to you because now you have your head in your hands.

And I knew this was going to happen. But then I thought I would bring it up because I think it's a good point of chat. I can't look at him anymore. Not rum kitchen. James, rum kitchen please. Some of us like to eat in the authentic places like Turtle Bay. Some of us like to eat the authentic dishes of the Caribbean

like jerk halloumi at Turtle Bay. Oh, man. Sorry, but yeah, you didn't have Caribbean food. It actually says Caribbean inspired. If you go to like reflex or something like that. Yeah. That's Caribbean. Is that the best in London?

Do you reckon? No, but it's nice. Where's the best in London? Or anywhere you've been really to be fair, but like in England or where people can go after this pandemic's over. I'll be honest. I don't really eat Caribbean food out because my mum makes it better.

So your mum. So we can all come to your mum's house after the pandemic. You could. Yeah, you could. She makes food herself. She sells food. So there we go. She does a lot of the opposite areas in the place.

They come to my mum's house branch and they buy a little five pound boxes. Comes with like a meat and a rice and a salad. Hit us with the postcode. N1 to UA. Yes, I'll be there. I don't know what that is. Whoever does live there,

they're getting me mapping on the door. I like some soft fish dumplings, please. Yeah. Did you just riff a postcode there, Tanya? Yeah, I live in South London. Not bad. That's quite a good one. N1, N1, EUA, did you say?

To UA. Here we go. That's Upper Street. Oh, no. This is a good game. Sorry, Upper Street. There we go. I think there's probably a turtle bay nearby there as well.

Right, Tanya, quick. Riff another postcode now. No, don't even think about it. Go. W86LQ. We have a hit. Right, Tanya. First of all, guess where it is?

Okay, W86LQ. Oh, where's W86LQ? I'm going to go with Acton. No. This is one of our famous guessing games that our producer, the great Benito, loves. He hates these games. He hates them.

He hates them. He does stuff like this. It's quite posh. Oh, Fulham? No, not Fulham. Not in Hill? It's Kensington. Oh.

Now, next round, Tanya. Guess the nearest restaurant or eatery to the postcode? Kensington. That could be anything from a small family cafe to an Italian. So I'm going to go for the pizza express. Yeah, that's quite a good bet. I'm going to go for Nandos.

No, it is Italian. So I'm going to give it to Tanya. It's San Pietro, 4.5 stars on Google. Looks quite nice. Well, that's going to be my next round. So that's that, Fulham. But very nearby, there is another Italian restaurant on Elscourt Road.

Read what that's called. Bistro Benito. Bistro Benito. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is like a Devon Brown trick. Bistro Benito. Fantastic.

Bistro Benito. I wonder what that place is like. Go in there. They don't like doing guessing games in Bistro Benito. Your main course. See, I grappled with this. Do I go meat after having fish or do I keep it fish? Because, you know, it changes the palette a bit.

So I'm going to keep it fish. And I'm going to go for a seafood boil. It depends on what one you get, but you can have lobster. You can have crab. You can have shellfish. You can have shell prawns. Sorry. And you can have, and it comes with potatoes

and a little corn on the cubs. And then the sauce. The sauce is the main thing because it's like fish seasoning with lots of garlic and peppers and onions. Cooked down and it's like a medium thickness. So you can just slap it up. And I think that would be perfect. Tanya, you're speaking my language.

All over lockdown. And this is going to blow your mind for coincidences. All over lockdown. I've been getting a meal kit from a place called Decatur who do New Orleans shrimp boils that they deliver to your house. And I'm wearing a t-shirt of them today. Oh my gosh. That is crazy.

Look at that. I'm wearing the merch for seafood boils. And I'm wearing a bistro bonito t-shirt. It is the best. It is the absolute best. I'd consider putting that in my dream menu, you know, because the act of the boiling and then you tip it all out onto like newspaper

and then just get stuck in and just, yeah, just go for it. I think I'm thinking of buying a trough. So I can just do a massive one outside and just eat it. Like a big pig. Do that in the bath. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be the next course in the bath.

I could do a whole menu in the bath. I'm just saying. Are you filling up the bath and doing the boil in the bath? And sitting in the boil and eating it. It's pretty spicy. I think that I'd really hurt like my ass and knob and stuff. So I'd probably, I'd probably have to do it across like the table. At the table.

In a trough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you could, you know, you could protect those, protect the sensitive areas before going in. Yeah, I suppose so. Just pin it back. Yeah, exactly. I just, just fling it out of the bath.

No, if that's, and it's so spicy, you sort of go into like a zone. Like sometimes things are too hot in the mouth and you're like, I can't eat anymore of that. But when it's just the right level of spice, you sort of feel high and you can keep going, but you're just, you're on another level. I agree with all of that. Absolutely. You love it.

What, because you said you can have loads of different things in the boil. For your dream meal, what do you want in there? Crab legs and prawns, king prawns, with potatoes and sweet corns, and lashings and lashings and lashings of sauce. And do you want the sausage in there as well? You can get sausage in there. No sausage. No sausage.

No meat. It's a fish boil. But it ruins it. No way. You want the full meal in there, the potato, the corn, the sausage, the prawns. Sausage is savage. Sausage is savage. Trouble in paradise.

You two were on the same page for a while there. Now sausage is divided. It's always the way though, isn't it? What do you think, right, you know, king prawns, let's just pretend for a while that, you know, king prawns are a civilization in their own right. If they have someone who's in charge, what would they call that person, that prawn?

Yeah. Because they're all called king prawns. He's the prawn. That's just the prawn. Yeah. So the king and the king prawn. It's just prawn. You don't even have to.

You don't king him, he's just prawn. So he's in charge because he's not a king? No, no, no. It's not that he's not a king. It's just that everybody else is king, king, king, king, king. So that's regular. Yeah. So he's different.

He's just prawn. See, he's the prawn. The prawn. The prawn. We have to have the prawn in there. Yeah. The prawn. There's lots of king prawns, but he's the prawn.

Yeah. Yeah. Because eventually you said prawn. Yeah. I said the prawn. Well, we recorded it, Tanya, so. Let's go. You go.

You go right back, right, man. I agree. I agree that the prawn makes more sense. But at one point he said, he's just prawn. He's just prawn. And I love the thought of everyone just going, hey, prawn. I just called it in prawn.

And everyone else is king prawn. Actually, I was saying that. The is what you... The is more commanding, isn't it? It is. The prawn. Because then everyone will start putting D.A. and start defeating it.

And you don't want that. You don't want to be dancing. Then there'll be a rapper called The Prawn Rapper. And you don't want that. I do. A rapping prawn called The Prawn Rapper. Yeah, definitely. What's he going to rap about when in the sausage?

Yeah. Not being allowed to hang out in the jacuzzi with a sausage. The prawn rapper. The prawn rapper sat in the jacuzzi that's all the seafood boil. Yeah. Like rapping about being a prawn. Of course I want that. Who wouldn't want that?

Still, though, very difficult to come up with words that rhyme with sausage. So The Prawn is really in trouble. Yeah. Maybe if he changes the way he says sausage. You might say sausage. He's a rapper. He can do that.

I can do that. I can do that. Yeah, he can do that. He says sausage. Can call it a sausage. Let's say he calls it sausage instead of sausage. What words does that open him up to? What words out there rhyme with sausage?

Look, now it's sausage. Seed. Seed, siege. Yeah. Trees. Trees. Trees rhymes with sausage, doesn't it? If you say it right.

Why are you crossing your arms? I'm kind of excited because I want to just keep this going for a long time. Well, it's because me and Tanya really acted like we'd solved the problem there. When Tanya said he could change it to sausage and we were both like, yeah, yeah, that would work. That would solve the problem. Now he's got a veritable dictionary in front of him. Yeah.

So you've got siege and trees so far that rhymes with sausage. Yeah, bees. Bees. Knees. You could say, I'd give you the sausage and how do you own your knees? That's a good song. Oh, yeah, that's fine. That's a good song.

Yeah. I'm not denying that's a good song. Teach about the birds and the bees. See? Yeah. See, see sort of works. Why don't you say sausage? It changes.

It opens you up, babes. Just change it. What's your side dish? What are you thinking? See, I think that a boil doesn't need a side dish because it's enough in itself. However, some people like to have a salad for a side dish. And for my meat eaters, I know they might like some chicken wings on the side maybe just to kind of dip that in and just have that moment if they don't have a sausage.

You know what I mean? So yeah, it would be one of those two if needed. You did a thing that I only really associate with James Acaster then. So you two should be getting on better. You shouldn't think he's a knobhead because you're basically the same person. When you said dipping in, you acted it out. James can't talk about dipping something in something without going, and I'm dipping it in.

Oh, and I'm eating it. Oh, I'm chucking him in. He always does that as well. He can't help but act out everything he's doing. I didn't realise that about myself until I just said it. And it is true. Yeah, I'm dipping it in and I'm eating it. You always do that.

And then the other one is if it's a bag of something, you'll mind throwing it in your mouth and you'll be like, yeah. Yeah, I do. I love throwing it in like it's from a distance. I didn't know I did that. You must have been in all these episodes thinking he's doing it again. I'll bring it up. I love it, personally.

I do like it. So what are you going with in the side? Are you going with the chicken wings? Or are you going with a salad? Or are you going with some sort of chicken wing salad? I think that's person-dependent. I'll be nice. So if you'll come in as a guest and you prefer a salad, I will give you a salad.

If you prefer chicken wings, I'll give you chicken wings. You do know this is your meal, though. And we're not getting you to cook for somebody else. Oh, I wanted it to be a dinner party. You can't cook for one. We should have covered this up. Absolutely. You can have a dinner party.

Who are you inviting to it? How many guests? Are they your personal friends? Three guests. Yeah. Three girlfriends. Name them. Tasha, Joanna and Tnit.

How long you known Tasha for? What's she like? How did you meet her? I met Tasha when I used to teach dancing. And I've known her for, well, when I met her, her daughter was three. She's now 22. She's about to be 23. So, oh yeah, 20 years almost.

Interesting. Why has she made the cut? What's she like? What's she bringing to the dinner party? Herself. And she's always late. So she'll be late. So she'll miss probably the starter.

Her starter will be cold. She'll still want it, though. So it'll be cold. And so you always have to make time for Tasha being late. Yep. I'd never be friends with her. She would never be invited to anything I did after the first time she was late.

No, no. Unacceptable stuff, Tasha. No, no, but you've got to weigh it up like this. When you have a friend, if they've got like two bad things, but 1,000 good things, then you just have to do it with two bad things. It depends what the bad things are. Being late ain't that bad. It is awful, Tanya.

She gets there eventually. Yeah, but if I've cooked for someone and they're late and then it ruins the quality of the food, absolutely not. You're off. I didn't like it at first, but I just don't wait for any more. So in numbers of right, we'll start. Joanna, was that one of them? Yes.

What's she like? How did you make the cut? Joanna is actually Tasha's best friend, so I met her at the same time. And we became friends separately, so now we have our own relationship. And Joanna will definitely be there on time. In fact, she'll be there a little bit early. And she will probably bring a bottle of wine. Actually, I don't like that she's early.

No, she's not coming round to mine either. Not that early. She's only like 10, 15 minutes early. Then she can wait outside until the agreed time. There's a lot hanging on this. I've turned up to Ed's house early every time I think I've visited him, to be fair. I prefer it to lateness. But still, you know, I'm making the finishing touches to everything.

Can I say, all of them will always ask, do you need anything? That's nice. But Tasha just doesn't bring anything turns up late. So she asks, but then she just turns up late. Doesn't bring anything. Whereas Joanna turns up early with a bottle of wine. Because you know she's coming late, there's no need to ask her for anything because you're already happy for that.

No point saying, yeah, could you bring around some boiling water and some ice cubes, please? Yeah, I hate you as well now. Yeah, could you buy yourself a watch on the way over? That would be great. Cheers. Who was the third person at the dinner party? Antonette. Who is she?

Pajameta? What's she like? What's she like? What's she make the cut? Pajameta. Thank you. You're definitely back to Nobbyd again. Antonette, I met at work with my last nine to five when I was doing reception

and she works there as well. What's she like? She's wonderful. She's very given. Antonette will definitely ask me if I need anything and then probably bring a couple of bottles and maybe a dessert as well and possibly some snacks. This is James's favourite person so far.

So obviously I love her. But she will turn up early because she will want to help you set up and get things ready and choose that person. Ed, are you going to allow that? Are you okay with that? If you've pre-arranged getting there earlier than everyone else to help set up so you know Antonette's coming at a certain time, that's fine. I think she's my favourite out of all of your friends.

You said that very strongly, all of your friends. All of your friends. Because it's like, I think you've got a Goldilocks situation in that you've got late early and then pre-arranged early which is very much the Mummy Bear porridge. So I like Mummy Bear Antonette. She can be my friend. Okay. Well, she's my favourite as well so congratulations to Antonette there.

Easily the winner and I think we all agree. It goes then Joanna and then way, way down at the bottom. It's like Tashu doesn't bring anything, it doesn't help. Yeah, not happy with Tasha. No, hey, don't say that. Not a fan. She's not that, no, don't say that. Only good thing she's ever done is introduce you to Joanna in my opinion.

You would like salad and chicken wings so that your friends could all choose what they would like with the food. Right, so when you say it's person dependent, the chicken wings and the salad, out of Tasha, Joanna and Antonette, who's having wings and who's having salad? Yes. Actually, based on what we know of them, can we guess and then you can tell us? Yes. Yes.

Guessing game. I think that Antonette would have salad. I think Joanna would have wings. Tasha would also have wings. Tasha's having whatever she's given at this point because she's lucky she got any boil. Yeah, she can have the leftovers. She can have the scraps. I think Joanna would have wings.

Antonette's bringing a dessert, so maybe she's more dessert focused. So maybe she's saving room for dessert because she's quite excited about that. So she's having a salad instead. So I agree with James. I'd say salad, but Tasha, I don't know. She's turning up late. What does she feel like? Cold wings are all right, I suppose, but salad's better if you turn up late really.

It probably keeps her slightly longer. So I'm actually going to go salad for Tasha because it's the late person's favorite meal. And the winner is James. Yeah, yes, I knew it. How spicy are these wings? What's going on with these wings? What are you putting on them? I wouldn't make them spicy.

I would probably just make them regular oven wings, so you just season them with the basics. So just like a little tiny bit of seasoning or maybe some garlic powder, maybe a little bit of thyme, and then probably just a sprinkling of some chilli flakes. Just a tiny bit of soy sauce, and then you kind of just rub it down a bit, put that in the oven, put some foil on top so it kind of boils through first. And then you drain the water off and then you get top foil off,

put it back in the oven so it gets that browning flavor. And then if you want to, you could make like a sweet honey soy sauce to go on top of it. I like to do that. You just cook off some soy sauce and honey with a little bit of seasoning inside, cook that down, pour that on top, put a little bit of butter, I mean, not butter, sorry, brown sugar, sprinkle it so it makes it sticky. Whoa, where you going with the butter? Put that on as well.

Don't tell me about the butter and then take the butter away. Wait, wait, wait, wait, don't butter. You've got to put a little bit of brown sugar, brown sugar so it makes it nice and sticky. And then when you take it out, it's just a nice, you break away, it's a nice sticky crisp one outside and the chicken's nice and golden inside and it's just perfect. Now, because your mum is a chef and you live with a chef, I mean, we've had a lot of food descriptions on this podcast.

Yours are at the level of the chefs that we've had on. I think they will agree. Yours, you know, this isn't your average comic describing food. This is a chef level. If you use one day, someone's like, you have to run a restaurant for a day and you're the head chef. Do you reckon you could pull it off of it? You could pull it off.

I think I could pull it off. Yeah. I'd like to think so. I'd come to your restaurant. Thank you. Yeah. Well, what would you call your restaurant? I'd probably call it Joyce's.

It's my mum's name. Hey, if chefs name their restaurants after their parents, maybe Bistro Bonito is run by Great Bonito's son. Bonito's got a son and he didn't tell us. He's got a son and he didn't tell us. He owns a restaurant called Bistro Bonito. Little Bonito. What's this salad, Tanya?

So you've got the wings, which sound delicious. I'm going to try making them like that. I'm going to use, this will be one of the episodes that we can rewind and use as a recipe, but what's this salad? It's very basic. It's shredded lettuce. It's cucumbers. It's tomatoes.

It's red onions. It's sweet corn and a little bit of sauce of your choice. Cream. We come to your dream drink. Now, is this going to be your dream drink or are you thinking about the guests? I know. It's mine.

It accompanies the meal. So I would have two different types of white wine, one to accompany the starter and one to accompany the main end dessert. I like this. I like this little drinks hack of pairing drinks with different courses. Not many people do it on the podcast,

but it's always a welcome treat. What are you pairing with the starter? I think it would be a Pinot Noir and it would be from, I like wine from New Zealand. So it would be from New Zealand or South Africa, actually. And that would be a nice small glass of white wine to accompany your ackee and saltfish dumping. What's all this small glass shit?

Sorry, I've got a waste. Because when we get to the boil, that's the piece that is installed on us. That's when you need a large glass of wine. Right. You don't want your palate to be just covered in wine so you can't really taste the seasoning from the boil. I don't think that's a thing.

I think just have a big... It's a thing. Come on. Here we go. It's a thing. Ed's got a problem and his argument is just shouting, come on at you. That's how you know he's the first one.

Come on, have a drink with me, with your fun friend, Ed. Yeah, that's what you know. If you know you have a small glass, I've got to have the rest of it. So what are you having the big glass of for the boil? A Sauvignon blanc. I wish I knew something about Sauvignon blanc to say that's a great choice, but I'd just drink it regardless. It's a little bit sweeter than the Pinot, so it's better.

Again here, have you picked up wine tasting skills from your mum? From Joyce? No, because she would just have any white wine, but my flatmate, yes. We do a lot of cheese and wine nights, so she introduced me to a lot of different cheeses and chutneys and things that go with cheese and wine. Okay, you need to move.

You need to move out. Why? Cheese is a danger word on this podcast for James. Oh, sorry. Especially as we're not at the dessert yet. We heard earlier that you're in the starter gang with me, and now cheeses are popping up, rearing their heads. What I would say dangerously close to James asking you what you want for dessert,

we're still hovering around the drink, but cheese and wine nights, that sounds lovely. And we know that you've already said that you're having this wine to match both the boil, which is good. A nice, spicy, a sweet white wine will punch through that spice. But can you carry that through to whatever the final course would be? I'm not going to specifically say dessert, of course. Isn't it too late to book Antoinette for the podcast? That was another danger dessert.

That's another flag, a red flag, isn't it, that someone else has to bring the dessert? Has to bring their own dessert, because they know there's going to be cheese and goddamn biscuits for dessert instead. It's not cheese and biscuits, but also that's just Antoinette. I probably wouldn't use it, I never do, and she does. Oh, so she always brings a dessert and you put it straight in the bin? No, I did put it in the cupboard, I just, something else for next time.

So you and your housemate sit down and have cheese and biscuit evenings with your wine? Yes. That sounds lovely. But you're doing that after you've had like a proper dessert at some other point in the day, right? So you've had a dessert and then you have a cheese and biscuit evening to unwind, that's okay? No, the cheese and biscuit, there's so much cheese and biscuits that it's just dinner. Or the whole of dinner, so that's even a place in the starters.

So in a way. That's a place in everything. So I couldn't have it at this dinner party. You could, I mean if you wanted to make that your dessert, you'd feel free. Feel free, Tanya, I don't want you to, I don't want you to feel pressured by James, I don't want you to feel like he's bullying you into not having your dream dessert, which is cheese and biscuits. It's really not.

You've bullied her, James. No bullying took place, I just put my emotions out there, my feelings. Wow! Just let everyone see my feelings. How long have you lived with this chef? A year. So you moved in what, start of lockdown? Just before the, yeah just before, like a week before.

Did you know them beforehand or is it? No. Wow, so this has worked out quite nicely for you. Very well. Not many people a week before lockdown moved in with a chef. Yeah, you've seriously locked out there. Right up there with moving in with a hairdress or something before lockdown. Yeah.

It's pretty lucky. Can I tell you something? Do you know what my block's called? What? No. More House. I'm sorry, what? I don't know what's going on.

No, me neither. My block's called More House, the house where I live is called More House. I'm sorry, because you're saying it's more. What I love about that is that's definitely a joke you should have got over by now. You've been there for a year. That seems like the sort of joke that someone would say to you, More House, More House, you're called Tanya Moore and you live in More House and you'd be like, yeah, all right, I'll get that all the time.

But you said that to us a year after moving into More House, like that is the best joke you've ever heard in your life still. It's not a joke. I know it's not a joke, but you still find it absolutely hilarious. Absolutely. You loved it. You were vibrating. Also, when you said it originally, the way that you said it made me think you were saying

more is in, you know, can I have some more? It was like a big house who's like, I'm in a block and what is a block if it's not More House? I'll be honest with you, Tanya. I was also baffled. I was completely baffled. Me and James arrived at that joke later than Tasha would. Call us a couple of Tashes over here, because we are late and rude. And you bought nothing.

We bought nothing to it as well. We get to the dessert now. I know it's not Cheez & Biscuits, so I'm relieved. But then I'm not completely in the clear here. Although, you know, you've had a dessert bought over, but that's gone in, Antoinette's bought it, but you put that in the cupboard. So that means you don't need the dessert. So there must be something sweet on the way.

It is a cherry crumble. Lovely. I've not had cherry crumble before, and I am excited to hear about the cherry crumble. I like to make my own crumble. I don't like to make my own cherries. So Joyce will have made the cherries. And then I just make the crumble and then you put that in the oven. And when you take it out, you offer ice cream or custard.

That's what I like to hear. I absolutely love that you're getting Joyce to do the majority of the work, let's be honest. And then you put the crumble on and then you present it at a dinner party going, here's a cherry crumble. I've definitely made from scratch, right? I wouldn't say from scratch. I would just say here's a cherry crumble. Yeah, ask no more questions.

Also, if you say to people, I made the crumble, it sounds like you made the whole thing. Yeah, but you just made the crumble. But you're not technically lying. So you're like, I made the crumble pretty good. And then everyone's like, these cherries are so delicious and you can just be like, I made the crumble. I made the crumble.

She keeps saying that to them. Oh, yeah? It's Tanya, all right. She keeps just saying she made the crumble. Whatever we ask her. She keeps on denying that she knows anyone called Joyce as well. I don't know why she keeps saying that. That's the name of her restaurant.

What's the secret to these cherries that Joyce is making? What's she putting in there? I can't disclose all of them. But the number one ingredient you can rest assured is cherries. Thanks so much for even giving away a bit of Joyce's secret there, Tanya. We feel very privileged. That's all you give her. This is cherries.

Yeah. There's cherries in it, and that's it. Oh, I might even have to ask you what's in the crumble. Something I know what the answer is going to be. That's just flour and butter, isn't it? And a little bit of sugar. You're not putting any oats in it or anything. I know people like to put oats in.

I'll put in cinnamon in it a little bit. And then you really, really crumble up some bread. And you put that on the top sometimes. And that gives you a nice little crisp. So you have the crumble and the soft cherries. Because the bottom of the crumble is going to be a little bit soft, isn't it? So it's the top bit that you want to keep crispy. In many ways, it's like a dessert cottage pie.

Or almost. It's a similar colour. Yeah. Would you say that's your favourite type of food is a soft layer topped with a crispy layer? I would say so. It is good. Now I'm thinking about it. It's probably mine as well.

I would go for custard. You would go for custard over ice cream. I would be the guest who asks for both. Would that be okay at your dinner party? That would be fine. So I mean, when you leave, I'll be like, let's make a reading. But it'll be fine. Well, putting the ice cream in the hot custard is the equivalent of putting the ice cubes in the hot water.

That's true. He's got you there. Oh, I'm getting the finger for the first time on the pod. That'll be the screenshot we used to promote the episode. Oh, that's 100% going to be the screenshot we used. It sounds like cherry crumble has always been a favourite of yours. Have you always had it growing up and stuff? No, do you know what?

It used to be apple. Then I went to blackberry, then cherry. Interesting. Now, tell us the age that you were when you switched from apple to blackberry and the age that you were when you switched from blackberry to cherry. Seven apples of blackberry. Sophisticated. That is sophisticated.

16. Is that something you announced to your mum when you were seven? Mother, I'm making the switch. I think she caught on when I just started digging the apple out of the apple pie and just eating the pastry. And then your teens were when you were like 16, did you say? Yeah, 16. It was like when I was leaving school.

Reinventing yourself. That's what a lot of people do, leave school, new me. I like cherry crumble now. Definitely. This is it. Just got in feet first. Do you anticipate another phase coming in at some point, where the cherries get nudged out and you replace it with something else?

Let's not forget old papa rhubarb. He's got to make an appearance at some point. Papa rhubarb is not coming to it yet. I like rhubarb, but like in a yogurt. Sure, but that means rhubarb's in your life. So at some point, old papa rhubarb is going to be like, pop me in a crumble. I think you're missing out by not having... Cherry crumble sounds good, but I think rhubarb crumble is the most grown up of the crumbles.

Hence, old papa rhubarb. And I think as you get a little bit older, maybe, you know, maybe into your 40s, 50s, I think the rhubarb's going to make an appearance. That's just what I think. So in about two years. I'll tell you what. In a couple of years' time, you're going to be making a crumble, and you're going to pour a big old can of Causton Press in there.

Made myself crumble, and I'm pouring in the Causton Press. Yes. I mean, for me, that's baffling, and I know what you're doing. So I know your songs about Causton Press. You sing them all the time, but even I'm confused. So God knows what Tanya's thinking right now. I know exactly how Tanya's feeling right now. She's in the same way that I felt when I heard Morehouse.

Tanya's not laughing at what you said there, James. It's because you reminded her of the Morehouse joke, and she's laughing. That's the truth. Never got to be funny. I want to confirm that I definitely hate you both right now. Absolutely fine. No problem. So we all know where we are.

Water. You would like warm lemon water, two-thirds boiling water, one-third cold water, and sometimes some ice. Pop it on some bread. Do you want a pop it on sandwich with onion and mango chutney? Starter. Ackee and saltfish dumpling. Main course.

Seafood boil with crab legs and king prawns, potatoes, corn on the cob, slashes of sauce. No sausage. Side dish. Salad or chicken wings, depending on the guest. We've established that there would be two portions of chicken wings, one salad, and you did not reveal your own side dish, actually, what you would have at the dinner party.

If you're choosing salad or chicken wings, you would leave it and just have the boil. It's a boil. A pass. Drink. Two types of white wine. New Zealand Pinot Noir with starter, sauv blanc with the main. Dessert. Cherry crumble with custard.

You're making the crumble. Joyce is making the cherries. Also, ice cream as well, Benito. Benito missed out the ice cream. It's okay, Benito, I understand. You've got a restaurant to run with your son. You've got a lot on your plate right now. You can't write down the whole what's that menu,

because at least for Benito has to survive the pandemic. I'll tell you what I absolutely love about this as well, is you're making Joyce make the cherries, and you've not invited her. Joyce, just bring the cherries around and then go. Bring the cherries. I'll set a plate. I'll set a plate. Well, that's going to be even more upsetting.

I've set you a plate, but you're not allowed to come in. Never after. Given that we've nailed down your sense of humour now, if you have friends to a dinner party, if when they've eaten their food, they said, can I have some more? Would you be like, this is absolutely, I love it. I love hosting a dinner party.

There you go. She's imagined that. Tanya, thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant. You've been a wonderful guest. Thank you. I really enjoyed it. Tanya, do you still hate me? Do you think James is a knobhead? 1,000%.

Gentlemen. Well, there we go. A lovely menu. When you were reading it back there, James, I forgot how sort of weirdly it started, but then it did then slip into quite a delicious menu. It was the weird warm water with lemon situation and then the poppadum sandwich.

And I was like, we're on for a wacky one here, but then it was pretty nice from then on in. Absolutely delicious. And more importantly, it didn't include dark fruit cider. It'd be difficult to see where she would have fitted dark fruit cider, to be honest. Yeah, it would have been bad. But still, thank you for the suggestion.

Bleesdale. Bleesdale. Cheers, Bleesdale. Keep stressing stuff if you want, Bleesdale. We do like saying your name like that. Yes. Benita's just told us that Bleesdale actually suggested loads. So we've got loads to choose from, that Bleesdale said.

Cheers, Bleesdale. So go and check Tanya's stuff out online. She did all that stuff we mentioned in the intro. And also, she's on the socials. Yes, I imagine. At Tanya Moore on Twitter. She's on Instagram as well. TanyaMore.co.uk is her website.

Go and check it out. Look, we may be coming to the point where we can do gigs again. So Tanya Moore might be out there doing gigs. If you want to go and see her in a live environment, she is brilliant. Go and see her. Yes, absolutely. Ed and I, a nice man.

Just doing a plug for us. Yeah, cool. Nice plug. At off-menu official on Twitter and Instagram. Yes. Off-menupodcast.co.uk is the website. There's a whole list of restaurants on there, which we will now add choices to. And, of course, we will add Bistro Benito to it.

Bistro Benito will be there. And if you go to Bistro Benito, you have to ask if the Great Benito is in. And they will, obviously, they might be confused, but just ask, is the Great Benito in tonight and see what they say to you. And maybe he will be there with his little son. Thank you very much for listening to the off-menu podcast.

We'll be back again in your lives very soon. Goodbye. So long and farewell. Hello, my name's Rob Orton, and I do the Rob Orton Daily podcast. The Rob Orton Daily podcast is a daily podcast that is quite short, some are two minutes long, some are 10 minutes long,

and they are stories and poems. And basically, all the thoughts I've ever had that I like enough to want to share with people. And the Rob Orton podcast is available on Apple, Acast, Spotify, all the other places where you normally get your podcasts. And on social media, it is at Rob Orton podcast. Thank you.

Hello, it's me, Amy Glendale. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato, and our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case.

Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the new stories that we've missed out from the North, because look, we're two Northerners. Sure, but we've been living in London for a long time.

The new stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News. We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glendale's mum on every episode. That's Northern News.

When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.