Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 99: Domhnall Gleeson

Episode Date: April 14, 2021

Actor and The Strokes fan Domhnall Gleeson – star of ‘Star Wars’, ‘Ex Machina’, ‘Harry Potter’ and brand new Channel 4 sitcom ‘Frank of Ireland’ – is in the dream restaurant for our 99th episode. And Tom Hollander’s sat outside.‘Frank of Ireland’ airs weekly from Thursday 15th April, 10pm, Channel 4. All eps will also be available to boxset on All 4.Recorded by and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, lighting the firelighter of chat to stoke the barbecue of fun. I'll take it. Okay, the pause was long, no man. Well, I thought you were going to say something else and I thought, no, that's it. I thought, well, fair enough. What we, like, creating the flames of humor. Is that what you were hoping for? I don't know. Because you barbecue so much. I thought he knows the whole process of barbecuing, so he's probably going to take it all the way through to completion here for when the food's ready to eat. But

you would just like the barbecue. That's a lot of analogy though, isn't it? It's just supposed to be like one line. Sure. But you know. Well, you like the firelighters. James, I tend to leave it uncovered there, burning for about 10 minutes and then I shut the lid. So right now, this is probably the bit where the, you know, it's being left burning for 10 minutes. It's the intro. Yeah. And then we shut the lid when the podcast starts and things really get hot. Open the vents. Yeah. Man, I love barbecuing so much. Ed Gamble loves barbecuing. I think about it. James Acaster never owned a barbecue. Together they host the Off Menu podcast where we have a guest every week into the dream restaurant and they

tell us their favorite ever. Start a main course, dessert, side dish and drink. Might do one tonight. And this week, huh? I might do one tonight. And this week, our special guest is Donald Gleason. An absolute barbecue of an actor. What a guy. He is such a great actor. You all love him. Yes. He's done loads of stuff, James. Ex Machina. He was in that great episode of Black Mirror when he kind of comes back from the dead. He's in Star Wars for Christ's sakes. The Revenant. The Revenant, baby. Also, Ed, he's in Frank of Island. Did you know that? That's coming out tomorrow. A brand new sitcom on Channel 4. I did. That's very exciting. He is in that with his brother, Brian Gleason. Brian Gleason. And maybe there's

even a little cameo from a certain Brendan Gleason. No relation. I thought you, I thought you were going to say you were in it then. I would be good as another Gleason, wouldn't I? Yeah, you would be actually. You found out I was another Gleason. You wouldn't be surprised. Wouldn't be surprised. Maybe we'll bring that up with him at some point when we chat to him. But very excited to have him in the Dream Restaurant. However excited we are, if he's a secret ingredient, which we will agree on now, he will be removed from the restaurant. And this week's secret ingredient is Manuka Honey. Manuka Honey. I don't trust any food that is mainly pushed on people to help their voice. Yeah. Look, I'm not saying

it doesn't taste nice. I've had Manuka Honey in the past and my voice has been bad and I need to do a gig. And I'm like, come on, we've got to get this voice up and running quickly. I guess I'll resort to it. I'll get some Manuka Honey. James, at no point have you ever thought I'll resort. You must love it when your voice goes and you get to eat honey from the spoon and it's socially acceptable. Yes, it is. It's my first port of call before I've tried anything else. Yeah. Straight away, I eat the Manuka Honey. But I resent how much it costs. Yes, it's very expensive. I think it's pointless. And it tastes just like any other honey, man. Like, I'm sorry to say it. Yeah, of course. I don't think it's for the

taste though. It's supposed to have other properties, right? Yeah, but like, who cares, right? Who cares? I'm a bit worried. Maybe Donal will bring it up because, you know, he does a lot of theatre. Sure. He has to look after his voice. Maybe he's going to have Manuka Honey as a little extra course or something to help his voice. Well, then, you know, it's going to get what he deserves. He's going to get checked out the restaurant. Yeah. With a heavy heart. With a heavy heart. But for now, here is the off-menu menu of Donal Gleason. Welcome Donal Gleason to the Dream Restaurant. Welcome Donal Gleason to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time.

I've been listening to you guys for some time, so this is great. Thank you so much for having me. Brilliant to be here to be talking to you. You're most welcome. You can always tell when someone's heard the podcast before because they politely wait for the genie to explode out of the lamp. Yes. Yeah, didn't want to preempt it. It's also interesting to see it actually happen in front of my eyes. Yeah. You know, an experience I've been looking forward to and, you know, enjoyed very much. So thank you for that. Was that as dramatic as you thought it was going to be? Yeah. Describe the theatre of it to the audience. I was wondering if you would take some time to get into character. No. No. Straight in there. Just like, you know, it almost like it was second

nature. Hands out wide and not full eye contact with the screen. Actually looked into the distance while you were saying it, which surprised me. But again, I enjoyed it. I didn't look at you in the screen where you're on the screen. I actually looked at where you are geographically. So while I was gazing off there was actually towards you and where you are in the actual world. So you were looking at, you were looking towards Dublin while you were. Yes. It's my genie powers. I know exactly where Donal was and I looked over there. So I was staring into his soul and not into the screen. That's not who he is, really. I really appreciate that. I mean, it makes me feel right at home. It's not, you know, because obviously we're doing it during a lockdown. So

it's nice to feel that you did. You look straight at me. Thank you. That's why I felt so warm. I don't know about you, but that seemed like James was really coming up with some bullshit excuses for a terrible performance. What? I bought it. Have you ever, you must have worked with occasionally in the early days of doing acting with some terrible actors who were bad and then came up with absolutely awful, awful excuses to get around it because that's what it seemed like to me, putting that out there. I was, there's always the actor and oftentimes I'm the actor. There's always the actor who will tell you in detail all of the research they've done, the thinking they've done behind the scene. This is what I think my character is feeling

in this scene. And then they say action and all of that falls away. And it's just a scared boy. You know, it's like that. You know what I mean? Like that's, that's often how I feel on set. So I mean, it's possible there was an element of that, but I didn't get fear. I didn't get fear. Donald said that I didn't even have to get into character. That it was just instant like that. Not many actors are that good. Well, it's just like, maybe you did the character work before we started the call. Maybe you had taken an hour to turn your vocal warm up and you were. Or maybe, or maybe that, and this is not an option that either of you have considered. Maybe there's just not really a character. Don't do this to me. Maybe it's just not that deep.

Maybe I am really a genie. That's what it is actually. Or maybe, or maybe it's sort of forgotten that you're a genie after this moment completely and you just become James A. Castler again. No, I'm a genie and I've always happened. And you do, you do, you know, you're a waiter. I mean, you do, you act impeccably as a waiter. You hang around a lot for a waiter. I will say that. It's a lot of talking, but I think that's part of the charm. I will say my preparation for this has been horrific. So I thought about it a lot. Yeah, good. That's what we like. And my preparation was awful. I went down the street. I went to a sandwich place called Farmer Browns and I got the biggest sandwich like I think I've ever eaten and it was delicious. So I finished

it and now I don't want to think about food even a little bit. The thought of any, I looked at my list and I was like, I want to puke. So this is terrible. Because of Farmer Browns sandwich. Yeah, I want to hear more about Farmer Browns because that, you know, obviously English people have a stereotypical vision of Ireland being all quite rural. I didn't know that, Ed, but that's good to know. I didn't know that, to be honest. Oh, do you? Do you have a stereotypical? And yeah, it's not a real farmer. It's the place called Farmer Browns. I went down, got a sandwich, the power cut while I was there and they were very nicely said, don't worry about it. The grill is hot enough we can make the sandwich. And it was amazing, right?

But it was, I think maybe, I think because they knew they were shut for the rest of the day, I think they put everything that was left into my sandwich and now I never want to eat again. Ah, the dream. Although, to be honest, in terms of being prepared for this podcast, you've not had the biggest nightmare of all of us today because the great Benito spilled an entire pint of water over his laptop like an idiot. That's true. Yeah, he absolutely slapsticked it before you came on the call, Donal. He turned up to a podcast recording, soaking wet. Stiller sparkling, which is good to have somebody who knows what we're talking about at this pot. I would imagine sparkling would be devastating to the internal workings of your

machine. So the fact that he was able to make the call, I'm guessing, I'm guessing still. Yeah. Do you like the big sandwich from Farmer Browns? Yeah, I always forget when you're doing this sort of, like I can see you. So when I go, I know it's my mouth. The people at home, they've just heard that I've eaten a sandwich and then they hear that noise and they don't, they don't know where it's coming from. Feel free if you do, if you do need to let some wind out, feel free. Yeah. Thank you very much. It's the dream restaurant. You go for it. Yeah, I'm the only person here, right? Yeah. Do you eat alone in the dream restaurant? Are you eating alone? It's up to you. Your choice. You can bring, holy shit. So during a pandemic,

I can imagine that I've got friends, because a lot of this is based on, like I've been in my, you know, very small bubble for a year, like everybody. So I can imagine that I've got friends around now. Oh, lads, this is going to be amazing. Whoever you want. Oh, brilliant. My family and my friends and everything. And they don't have to be your actual friends either. You can just make up new ones. You can, you got to start again. Better friends. I love us. Love us. Oh, this is nice now. I'll tell you what you can have actually, we'll make it fun. You can have one family member, one person that you've been in a film with or TV show with or play with, and you can have one person that you've never met before. They're the three, that's your three choices. Oh,

hang on. Right out of the gate, you've saddled me with picking one member of my own family. That's how you're starting this. I've got to pick one member of my own family. Yes. Now, obviously, you're allowed to pick someone you're in a show with as well. You know, coming up soon, you are in a show with your brother, so he could knock off two categories. Yeah, but I've seen a lot of Brian over the last year. Do you know what I mean? Do you might want to see him ever again? Big question. No, I'm going to go two because I can't pick. I'm picking two, my nana and my grandma, who are no longer with us. I'm having them. I'm sorry, you can't. If you say we said only one and we're making your pick between your nana and your grandma, that makes

you an absolute fucker. Yeah. So I'm bending the rules, nana and grandma, they're here. How about you can pick nana or your grandma and then one of them's an honourable mansion? Oh my God. Yeah, not doing that even as a guy. Don't care if he was. Absolutely no way. So yeah, nana and grandma and then, okay, who's going to get on well with my nana and grandma? Do you know what I mean? Interesting. Some people. Who are you thinking in your head? Who's the shortlist at the minute who's popping up? They don't have to be the person. Yeah, Bill Nye, I think, is like the best company and he's great, but both my nana and my grandma might start falling in love with him, which might be a bit of a problem. I'm making it for an awkward meal if they're all flourishing.

Yeah, he'll stop us. You know what I like triangle involving your nana and your grandma? Departed nana and grandma and Bill Nye, who I know and respect. I don't want to think of him in that light. So I'm going to go someone else. And Nye would love that, wouldn't he? Yeah. He'd be charming. Oh, he loves it. Oh, he loves it. He loves being the centre of attention. Whenever he goes out, he says, I'm Bill Nye, look at me. He's awful like that. He's one of those actors. I asked him for directions once. Did you? Yeah, I was on my way to a date, a first date. I couldn't find the pub. I was looking around. I looked down the street. Bill Nye was walking towards me. So I just went, excuse me, mate, do you know where the John Snow is? And then he looked

around and went, I don't think I do. And then that was it. And I didn't say to him at any point, you're Bill Nye. And I was really pleased with myself that I didn't at any point say that I knew who he was. And I went and then I had a story when I arrived at the date. Great. That's lovely. It's very hard. So you're both reasonably... Reasonably. I don't know where to pitch it. You're both reasonably well-known, I was about to say. That's fair enough. He says like a diss and a compliment. I wouldn't worry about it. I was ready to take that as a full compliment. I was like, where's it going with this? Reasonably, I say. When people notice you, do you notice people notice you when you go off? Don't look at me. Do you ever do that?

Do you ever go a little bit like, feel weird? Annoyingly no, which means they sneak up on me and catch me off guard. I would quite like to already... But they're very good. Anyone who likes me, like you experienced me at the beginning, they're very bad at eye contact. So I actually don't notice until the very last minute. Ah, maybe I'm making too much eye contact, but maybe I'm staring at people. And when they look back, they're not recognizing me. Stop staring at them. They're scared. My lot are a bit less subtle. So they will out loud say, oh, Ed Gamble. So I very much spot that. That's the one. So as they walk past, you go, I think that. And then with me, they don't know my name. So they kind of go, that's,

you know, I think, was it Paddington? I'm like, no, it was Peter Rabbit. I turn around and say, no, it was Peter Rabbit. So I get that. But then the problem, I always think, ah, it would be easy to be subtle, I think. And then when I see people who are recognized, oh, I'm awful. I'm going, oh, holding it in, trying not to say the thing. And then once, because I love the band, The Strokes, I was walking by and I was seeing them that night in New York. And I walked past the guitarist and I made eye contact with him for a second. And I was listening to him on my headphones. And my mind said, don't do anything. And my body went double thumbs up. While walking. While walking past them. Oh, no. Just awful. Probably the least, like,

the least strokes things to do as well. Like, they're so cool that they've never done a double thumbs up. Never in their lives. Because, you know, because I've seen all the footage. And then he got to the gig and he was like, fucking, Mr. McGregor gave me a double thumbs up on the way here. Did you guys, you guys seen Peter Rabbit? Yes, we've all seen Peter Rabbit. Yeah, well, okay, gave me a double thumbs up. It's a favorite on the tour of us. Yeah. I imagine the most didn't together. I will love it. Right. You haven't said the co-star who you're going to have in the who you're going to have in the restaurant. No, I'm going to change it up actually based on our Mr. McGregor talk. I'm going to go Rose Byrne. She makes me laugh. She's really good

dinner company and just hilarious makes me laugh. And I don't quite know how she's making me laugh. She's just wonderful like that. So I pick her and she'd be great with my nana and grandma. And then someone you've never met before, someone you'd maybe like to meet. The guitarist from The Strokes. No, bad idea. Bad idea. You can have another chance with the guitarist from The Strokes. I bet you do the exact same thing again. You'd be psyching yourself up. Come on, Donald. Don't do it this time. Double thumbs up as soon as he walks in. Your nana and your grandma would be like, I don't even know. I've never even met him before. And the whole meal, every time he looks over, just double thumbs up and big smile. Can't take my eyes off him.

Rose would love it. That's my choice. Which one of the guitarists was it? Was it Albert Hammond Jr.? It was Albert Hammond Jr. Oh, dear. He's the coolest one. Oh, dear me. Yeah. Ruin this. Ruin this. Any of the others, you might have got almost like an ironic response. But he seemed nice. He smiled. I think he's met pathetic people like me before. And it seems that what passed, I was like, I hope I'm not wearing converse. And I looked down and I was wearing converse. He saw me coming on my lap. So someone you've never met before at the dining room table. Can it be him though? I've never met him technically. Yeah, absolutely. I think that's great. Yeah. And I'll treat him like a normal person and normal person being already. I've

got nervous and fucked it. Okay, so nervous. The key donut in that situation is you can't don't bring up the story of the double thumbs up because that's going to make you seem even worse when you're like, do you remember when in New York and I give you a double thumbs up? So sorry about that, man. I would never and then double thumbs down to try and equilibrium the whole thing. Your last album, double thumbs down. You know what I mean? Oh, no. Oh, no. I like the last album. I know. It's one of the better ones, Donal. You look like a real idiot if you have fun down that album. You want to grab me the other day for that shit. See, and I know that because every now and again, I'll Google them. This is bad. Oh, no. I don't want

this thing in the world. Okay, so, Donal, let's break that down. At what point in your day do you find yourself idly googling the strokes? It's a pandemic, you bastard. There is nothing to do. I wonder what he's doing now, I think. Better check it on the strokes. Yeah, better check it. I wonder if they've got another album they don't. Yeah. Oh, the Grammys, they're coming up furiously refreshing all night. I hope my boys do well. Just double thumbs up in the street the whole time watching those emojis, tweeting them at them all night, double thumbs up emoji. Yeah. Oh, dude, this is, I don't, yeah, I don't want them to know this about me, so let's, this was all a bit. This was all a bit

that I was dealing with you guys. So, a funny bit. Talking about comedy, though, but before we get into the main menu, we should talk about Frank of Ireland. Very excited for this to come out. What is the show about for people who haven't seen it yet? It is about a kind of 32-year-old narcissistic fantasist in a rest of development who's living with his mother, who is kind of more well-adjusted than him, but they're kind of mates more than mother-son relationship. His ex-girlfriend who we just can't get over, they broke up six years ago, but he just doesn't want her to move on because he can't move on himself. That doesn't sound funny. It's funny in the show. And then his best friend who's kind of more naive than him and looks up to him and thinks he's a genius,

and they're all kind of keeping each other in the same cycle of behaviour sort of thing. You know, they're all holding each other back, but centres around Frank who's just this kind of disaster musician and nightmare of a person. He's like a 13-year-old, basically. And in the character I play, his name is Doofus. Yes, his name is Doofus. We know it's not funny, but we stuck with it. He's more like a nine-year-old. So, it's like the relationship between you and your older, cooler cousin when you were nine and he was 13. Lovely. Also, like, I mean, you, your brother, your dad is in it as well, which I saw the three of you in a play together once. Did you see that? I saw the wall were fast in Dublin. It was fantastic. I loved it.

So excited that you're all in a TV season. I didn't know you'd go to plays, James. This is new information for me. I was tricked. I was in the play, man. What are you saying? No, I wasn't really tricked. I loved it. David O'Dockey was going to visit him. He was like, do you want to go see his play? Absolutely. Never before have I absolutely loved something and not understood a word of it. I absolutely loved it so much. Yeah. And I mean that. I love, it was like jazz because, like, for those people who don't know, it's like, the three of you are from Cork in the play and you do the accents beautifully. And so, a lot of it, it was in Dublin. So there's a lot of laughs in places where I was like, uh-oh. I knew what was going on at all

times because it was because of the way it was all performed. And I just I loved that experience of like being swept up in the whole thing. And it was it was really great. What was it like for you? Because it was a quite an important night for me. I fucking loved it. And now I'm now I'm gushing at you. Double thumbs up for that play. I will say that means a lot. A huge amount actually. I didn't know you would see this, you know, all my furious googling. I was like, has James Acaster seen the one with nothing back? And also I loved David O'Dockey. So that's nice that you both saw it. And it was a very intense experience. I actually shot that right in the middle of the revenant. So I did four months doing the revenant, which was so like intense and like male and difficult

and like, what are we doing? Like, you know, a lot of minus 30 carrying bodies through the snow is like, oh my God. And it was so long. And then I came back and did that for two months in the middle and then went back to finish the revenant with shaved legs. And I just, you know, had to say nobody tell Tom Hardy that I've got shaved legs. I'm worried he'll make fun of me. Yeah, it was it was amazing. I love that playwright. I think that's one of the best players in the world in the world. I'm actually going to do a play with him, although whatever version of the play, whatever version of theater we're able to do, we're going to do it this year. I'm doing another play with him. My dad and my brother and another wonderful actress, the four

of us just together going at it. And it's like a boulder going downhill at the very start of it. So we used to run our lines as fast as we could before we go out for half an hour, just so when it goes, you're just fucking going, you know. And the one of the first things I do in the plays essentially show the audience my bum hole. That's like one of the first, first things that happens. And I put my foot behind my leg in a pair of very tight white fronts. So yeah, like it was like once that happened, you're like, fuck it, we may as well go the whole hard. Yeah. And it was not show the whole hard, but like, you know, work as hard as possible. It was the best work experience in my life. Yes. I was there for a head. How do you like that shit?

Oh, I'm very happy for you. I'm very happy for both of you. I forgot that you're not competitive with me. As soon as Donal mentioned having to get his bum hole out every night, I just thought, could I do that? It wasn't full bum hole. I had pulled just to be technical here because, you know, I'm an actor and I think of these things as technical. I was wearing a pair of white fronts. You pull the white fronts kind of into your bum crack. So it's like a thong at the back. And then you sit on a chair and a slouched angle and then you throw your foot up behind your head. So like you've got a real thin layer of fabric dividing, you know, separating you from...

Okay, so there was no visible bum hole. Depending on the night and the angle and the speed with which I got my head back there. I was sat in the upper circle. I can't comment. I was a upper circle, you know. Don't talk about the upper circle. And is this the first time the three of you have done something together since then as well, or three of you? All three of us? No. My dad directed us in a short film that my brother Rory wrote and that my brother Fergus did the music for. So we had worked together on that. But myself and Brian wanted to do a sitcom. Brian suggests we write something funny. I was scared about doing something longer for him. My friend Michael Maloney had written lots of sketches with over the years,

done a lot of comedy sketches with him, some of which were to raise money for charity, some of which were for Irish TV. And so the three of us got together and just decided to do something in the... I don't know. I don't know. A little bit Alan Partridge, a little bit Fleabag maybe or something. I don't know. A bit all over the place. But like I said, I've seen Brian plenty now. I think we can give you sort of a bit of a fright. He doesn't need to come for the dinner. We always start with Stillo sparkling after a big old Farmer Brown sandwich. What you're feeling like? Nothing. Like I genuinely... I think I'm all right. No, I'm going to go sparkling. I'm definitely sparkling person. I like like an aggressive, aggressively cold,

aggressively sparkling. The one where you drink and you go, oh, fuck. Like, you know, like it kind of attacks your mouth and your eyes close and it's going to build up your nose and you're angry. Yeah. That's the kind of sparkling water that I like. Just to get you sort of like really excited and sort of pumped up before a meal, you want to be woken up by the sparkling water and just have a cup of bees. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. That exact feeling. And I don't want to like blow out your mic, but yeah, you want to pump up before a meal, right? You want to be like, yeah! You know, that's the feeling you want before you eat a big meal. I also got really into it. Obviously, everyone hates sparkling water when they're kids and think that if you like sparkling

water, you're old and lame. And then slowly you become everything you hate. And that's what happened to me. I did a job right to lose a lot of weight very, very quickly. And I found sparkling water was like my crutch. You know what I mean? That was like, I felt full. It felt like my, if you're treated sparkling water, you're in bad shape. But yeah. And so I bought a soda stream and it's shaped like a penguin. It's like an old fashioned one. It's kind of cool. And I do like three long pumps until it goes like until it sounds like it's in pain. You know, like so that minute it bubbles into it, forcing more and more balls into it. That's what I'm into. So you want sparkling water until the penguin screams, right? Yeah. Yeah. I want him deeply uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. I like

inflicting pain on penguins. Like I'm hurt. I want to feel like I'm hurting the penguin. Why is it? You only ever hear about acting roles that are losing weight? I've never spoken to any actors like, oh, I had a role where I had to put on loads of weight. It was the best time of my life. Oh, there's loads of ones. Yeah, totally. There are. Like, well, Christian Bale has done both, right? Like everyone wants to bail us, right? Everyone's like, I want to lose so much weight. I'm sick forever. And then I want to put on so much weight. I'm sick forever. He's gone both ways. But I bumped into Tom Hollander while I was losing the weight and he was putting on weight. And he looked at me in a way that said, don't even imagine that you're the person in the most pain

here. Because he was waking up at night time to like, I don't know if he was drinking ice cream or I don't know what he was doing. He was waking up. He was like, he was doing the goose thing. He's doing the force feeding thing, essentially with himself. And he just said he was full. Like the way I feel now, he felt all the time. Is it more critically acclaimed to lose weight, though? Those are the ones that you hear about as like, oh, they put themselves through so much, they lost so much weight. No, no one's going, what an amazing thing they had to get up in the middle of the night to goose feed themselves ice cream. Didn't hear, right? Yeah. Oh, of course. Agent Bull. He did pretty well off that. People were pretty, people, people, lot of respect for

Agent Bull. Some people even talk about that movie now. Yeah. I've heard of it. I've heard of it, guys. I would find that so easy. Oh, God, I'd love to get a part where I have to put weight on. I would do it in a week. There's a story that Ryan Gosling was supposed to have a part in a Peter Jackson movie. And his idea was that his character would put on a lot. It would be very heavy. And that was not Peter Jackson's idea for the character. And I don't know if they disgusted or not, but he turned up like whatever, 30 pence heavier. He'd been melting ice cream in his microwave and drinking it. Like that's how intensely he was doing it. It can't be healthy. And he turned up and Peter Jackson was like, no. And that was it. He didn't, he didn't play the part.

More like Ryan Gosling. Huh? Am I right? Oh, yes. Yeah. Oh, strong. Not bad, really good stuff. I've heard that a lot of them do it with the melted down ice cream. Rob McElaney did that for Always Studying Philadelphia. Well, that's amazing, yeah. But the thing is, everyone who does that, I think I just have less sympathy for the people who put weight on because they're all people who, like, two weeks later, they're ripped again. Yeah. Exactly. I want to see a natural fatty do it. And I speak as a natural fatty, but yeah, natural fatty work, you know, I could do it in a couple of weeks quite easily, I think, just by taking my eye off the ball. I did at the end of, I mean, I do think actually, I think weirdly, I do think losing the weight, losing weight once for a part

really changed my relationship with food, I think, genuinely. And the night that I finished that, the amount of food, they were like, they explained to me in detail, you got to put weight back on carefully. You can mess yourself up with you. And I was like, I understand. I understand. I respect my body. There is no way I'll be that idiot. Oh my fucking God. It was horrific. I did end up getting sick. And then I did end up eating more sweets afterwards. It was all sweets. It was like I was seven again. What part was this for? It's great that you don't know about it. I'm trying to think it was worth it. It was, yeah, I wanted to look super slim for Peter Rabbit. No, I did a film called Unbroken that Angelina Jolie directed. The part of the film that I was in was three

soldiers end up stranded at sea. And it happened in real life. And they lost half their body weight or something. They lost an insane amount of weight. We were losing a couple of stone maybe at most, like it wasn't, and we're actors. There's real food around. You're not actually starving. It's all absolutely fine. But man, I was an absolute dick while I was losing weight. I was an absolute dick. And I, yeah, I just became a food pervert over that time. Not the phrase I thought. Not the phrase I thought I'd use. No, but that's bang up. That is bang on. Whenever I'm like trying to eat healthier or lose a bit of weight or whatever, you do just, you look at the internet like you're searching out the most depraved possible stuff, like more cheese, more cheese. I wish I'd been able

to restrict it to internet time. I was like standing outside restaurants and looking at people and wandering around supermarkets and like nodding at somebody as they took a dessert from a fridge. Like, yeah, you fucking, yeah, you enjoy that. Respect, respect. Tom Holland taking a pint of ice cream off the shelf. We think, yeah, yeah. How did Eddie Murphy put all the white on for Nutty Professor? Pop it up, it's all bread. Pop it up, it's all bread, Donald Glaton. Pop it up, it's all bread. How long have you been thinking of saying that? Have you not been listening to me? Like, because that genuinely came from nowhere. Always got it in the back. It's always ready to go. That's one of the best ones you've done recently though, because quite often I will see James go

glassy while he's like working like that. Also full eye contact. Strong. Yeah, I've learned. I'm getting better. Okay, so again, man, I'm so full. I thought about this. I definitely bread. I'm a bread. Poppedoms are fine, but I'm a little bit, am I fussy? I was very fussy either when I was a kid, very, very fussy either when I was a kid. So I'm like, you know, more normal now. But like, all the dips with the poppedoms, the only one I really like is like the mango one. And then it's too sweet for me. So I don't really do that. So definitely bread. So can I get three types of bread? Yeah, in a little basket? Yeah, exactly. And the amount should be the right amount so that I don't ruin everything. You know what I mean? Yeah, that would be great. So maybe if they can

or if as the magical genie, you can understand him, which is a healthy amount. How about we bring you loads, right? No, no. You have what you like. We pick you out. We say you think you should have that amount so you don't ruin it for yourself. And any leftovers we give to Tom Hollander, who sat on a table over there. Yeah, we're feeding him like a goose for the whole thing. We've got a tube down his right into his belly. And everything you don't eat, we just put straight into Hollander. I just feel like it's going to upset my grandmas. I don't think they're going to want to look over and see. Well, they can have their backs to Hollander. So I can see him. Yeah, you can. We've got like a hospital curtain pulled across. Yeah, like the Wizard of Oz. He's behind

the little Wizard of Oz. But I can hear him going all the time. But you would also be aware that whatever you didn't finish is going to him. So then you would eat too much. You would feel bad for Hollander. You know what I mean? I would. So maybe, well, can he be outside in the cold? Oh, perfect. Yeah. So I can't hear him. Great. Okay. So I'm going to go for a crispy French, like baguette, still warm, thin slice with like way too much butter and Kerry Gold butter from Ireland. And not exactly room temperature, but not really fridge cold. Like it's somewhere in between. So you can spread it, but there'll be a lump every now and then, you know what I mean? Like there'll be like a chip that you can't and you go, Oh no, I've got to leave that lump. I'm just going to

have to eat that little lump of butter. So it's an excuse to have more like an unhealthy enough butter that you know, my grandma would tell me that's too much. That's too much butter. But let me get straight. You want the Kerry Gold. Do you want a full thing of Kerry Gold that you lot are all using? Yeah. So everything, all the Kerry Gold that doesn't get used is going straight to Hollander. It's going into Hollander's tube. It's going to go through him like a duck. Tube of butter is going to be disgusting. Yeah. But yeah, he needs that lubrication, to be honest, because there's a lot coming his way now. Is he preparing for a role? Yes. Oh, he is. Oh, thank God. Oh, as long as he's cool with it, then yeah. Yes. Okay, I'm going for that.

I'm going for the heel of a batch loaf from Super Queen. Do you know Super Queen? No, no, no idea what you're talking about. Is it Farmer Brown's alter ego? Super Queen is like, it's like it's like a, you know, super value or spar or whatever. It's like one of those sort of things, but they make their own bread and it's really, really good. And the heel of the batch loaf, I really remember vividly from when I was a kid. It's not like a hard, you know what I mean? Like, it's kind of almost like strands of bread flying off. It's sort of a thing. Jesus Christ, how do you, anyway, I can't describe it. It's unbelievable. It's kind of that amazing, it's like where you take it out of your mouth and bits of it pull away on the thing. You're thinking of cheese. You're

thinking of melted cheese. A cheese string. That's, you're right, that's cheese. Yeah, I'm going to have to rethink my bread thing. Yeah, batch loaf, it's so delicious and the heel is always amazing. And then this may be stretching the rules a little bit, but I'm going to go for it. Just a little crisp sandwich. Oh, hello. Just a little one. As part, Irish bread and bread, I've gone big on the Irish thing. Yeah. And then proper crisps. I heard Rosie Jones going apeshit on crisps. I'm not going that far. I'm not going to lose my mind with that. King or Tato. My grandparents, my grandmas are theirs, but I'm going to be too stinky. So I'll go Tato, I think are probably less stinky than King. So I have respect for them.

But he salted Tato. No, cheese and onion. They're still a bit stinky. Yeah, still quite stinky. Yeah, but like, you know, I love the level of respect for your grandparents that you don't want to go too stinky. I haven't seen them in ages. I don't want to upset them. Do you know what I mean? Like when I give them a kiss at the end, I don't want them to recoil. When they were with us, was that something they, they didn't enjoy smells? My smells, I did stay there. I did stay in my grandma glistens a lot, you know, when I was a kid into my teens. So I'm sure she walked into many a bedroom and thought he's got to get his shit together. This is horrific. You know, that teenage boy smell. Yeah. Oh God, you got to get

it out of the blankets. You know what I mean? Like it's like a double wash scenario. Yeah. When I say it out of the blankets, I'm talking about the smell. The smell. Yeah. No, don't worry. Good. Just to be clear, with your Nan and your grandma, you, you don't want them brought back you and Black Mirror. You don't want that. Oh, fuck. No. No. Yeah. Well, because they were so weird on Twitter as well. You know what I mean? It wouldn't affect their real personalities. They were, they're really aggressive on Twitter. I forgot that. The whole personality is built off of your social media, isn't it? And what you put out into the world. Yeah. So yeah, grandparents, it really wouldn't work. No. So this is the most, we've had a few Irish guests on before. And we've

had Kerry Gold chosen. We've had specific types of Irish bread chosen, but you have really out Irish all the Irish guests we've had in the past. How does that feel to have been the most Irish bread course so far on off menu? I'm going to be honest, it feels really, really good. Fuck those guys. You know, like we're all in it for ourselves at the end of the day. This is a competition to be the most Irish and I feel like I'm winning. Are we, are we staying in Ireland for the starter? Staying in Ireland for pretty, for pretty much all of it, pretty much all of it. So I've gone for prawns pill pill. No prawns pill pill. No. That sounds like it's a guy. He's the jazz musician. You guys know prawns pill pill? You don't know prawns pill pill. So it's in a little, the way they

do it in this place called the old spot, which is in Ballsbridge, which is the funniest name for a place. I think. Brilliant. Yeah. So when I go to London, obviously cop fosters is hilarious, but like Ballsbridge is two funny things back to back. Ballsbridge. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. What do people call it in America? The taint or something? Yeah, yeah. The Gooch. The Gooch. Yeah, yeah. The Gooch. If you've watched Jackass, then you've told it be Gooch. Yeah. I'm obsessed with the cast of Jackass. What? I'm absolutely obsessed with them. What? I know you don't even know that about me yet, but like my YouTube history is just full of what are they up to now cast of Jackass videos? Can I just say welcome to the club? This is great. This is great. Now

we're talking my language. The best experience they ever had in a cinema. I think genuinely, like I've had some incredible moving experience. Like I'm thinking, thinking like Moonlight things. You know the things that actually meant something, but the Jackass, the Jackass movie was the most like, is it communal? Is that the word? Everybody was talking to each other, holding each other, saying to somebody, he won't do that, will he? He won't do that without sandpaper. Please don't. And then asking people you don't know to tell you if it's happened or not. And at the end, full round of applause and a dublence in them are very unusual and best atmosphere ever. Yeah, absolutely love it. Don't put sandpaper on your Ballsbridge.

I think what they put on their Ballsbridge was one of those, was one of those things with electricity in it that people do to stimulate their muscles. Yeah, they did do that. And now I just sit around and I just catch up on what they're all up to, how they're all doing. It's brilliant. We Man lived in a van for a while for about a year. Bams not doing great. He's just been kicked off of the latest film that they're doing. I saw that. I know. That seems sad. There's a lot of stuff going on. Steve Oh, though, strength to strength, completely cyber, really make it a go of his life. It's really good to see. He looks very healthy, very well.

James, you've got to get your priorities right, man. Come on. Yes, yes. Do what I do and spend all day Googling what the dirty Sanchez lads are up to now. I know what they're up to. One of them heckled me at a comedy gig once. So, yeah, so prawns peel, peel, right? The way they do it is like in a little, a shallow, like clay bowl, it's like almost bright, red looking oil. And it's like chili, oil, garlic, very garlicky sort of oil and then all the prawns. And the way they do it there is like the prawns like whole prawns. So legs and everything, little eyes looking up at you. But what they've done is to make it easy to eat. They've chopped the heads off and then place them

back on the prawn. Oh, do you know what I mean? Yeah, which it's so grisly. But I had to think about it. I thought that's absolutely horrific. But it makes it easier to eat. And then little bits of chorizo. And I can't, it's so long since I was in that restaurant. I don't know if there's chorizo in it. But if there isn't, then I'd like some chorizo from the portes down the road to be in there along with it. Really plump, fresh prawns and garlicky and chili and hot and delicious. They give it with a little bit of bread at the side. But I think at that point, I might be breaded out to soak up all the amazing and like I shouldn't dunk in this oil. This oil is not for eating. But sometimes you do it anyway. You need the bread to get some of that oil up. Yeah,

you're not just going to send the oil back because we don't, we all know where that's going. Oh, no. Yes, that is a prawn head. Sorry, Tom. The prawn heads one after the other. When I imagine, when you said it sounds like a jazz musician, prawns pill pill, obviously, you do just imagine a prawn playing the saxophone, I guess. That's the... Because of the prawn's posture of the way it is. Of course. You imagine it playing the sax. I couldn't imagine it playing any other... Gotta be the saxophone. Yeah, because the saxophone is the

closest instrument to looking like a prawn, right? Yes. So you've got a full jazz band. Everyone in the jazz band is a different thing that you can have in the seafood restaurant. Who's on drums? Who's on the double bass? Who's on trumpet? And who's on piano? I've got a razor clam on drums. Okay, interesting. I had an octopus on drums. I was thinking more just like tall, straight, like a drumstick. And he's almost using two of his friend's shells. He's headbutting. Oh, no, he's using his friend. He's using sticks, yeah. He's using the carcasses of his friends. Yeah, cool. All live ones, I don't know. Have you ever seen... Have you ever seen on the beach?

So I think it's razor clams. Have you ever seen people get them up out of the... It is absolutely horrific on the beach. Yeah. Let me say it's a beach. It's lovely. It's twilight. The sea has just sort of gone out, but there are almost... You know, when you stand on wet sand and it's just wet enough that you stand in it and it almost looks more solid and around it turns kind of more watery. You know that sort of feeling? That kind of just damp like wet sand. And then when you sometimes get those holes in the sand where you can kind of... It looks like there's a hole and you wonder what's down there. I think it might be razor clams, but I saw a fella on YouTube pouring table salt into one of those and this fucking

weird penis tongue comes out and spits up out of the thing and it's the inside of the razor clam. Oh my god. It's a white fleshy thing and I think it burrows in by spitting sand out its arse and that's why you get that little hooker on top of the sand. Sorry, this is putting everyone off their food. And then the salt, it makes them come up and they spit themselves. It's absolutely disgusting and I really want to do it. How did you end up there on YouTube? What brought you there? Jackass. I mean, there's a straight line from jackass to that. That's fair enough. So I'm building a picture of your day, Donal. So it goes, the Strokes Jackass razor clams. Yeah, Google the Strokes. See how jackass are doing? Ending up

in a razor clam wormhole. Yeah, Drinking Whiskey. Drinking Whiskey really glum and looking at just, oh, that's horrible. Yeah. Anyway, that on drums. The razor clam on drums for Ed, I'd put an octopus on drums personally. I think octopus will go well anywhere. He's got the dexterity. Yeah. And they're meant to be smart as well, aren't they? But I think like an octopus would make a real mess of playing the double bass and stuff, whereas the drums, they're all around it and it could like really make the use of its tentacles there. Like you're saying you'd make a show of himself, like his parents would be there and they'd be embarrassed. Yeah, yeah. The double bass. He keeps slapping it and getting stuck to it

and having to put it on. Yeah, yeah. He just keeps flinging double basses against the wall and they're all smashing and stuff. Awful. Another double bass. Glad we got to the bottom of this. Was there anything, was there any other, no double bass drums and... To be honest, I think I put out too many instruments at the top of it. Yeah, it's an ambitious band. I gave us a really big band. On the side though, right, real quick. Again, I wrote this when I was very hungry. I'm very full now. This would make me vomit. Can I get a chicken wing from the Canalbank Cafe just on the side? Just on the side. Just because it's crispy and delicious and amazing and hot and it makes your lips go, oh, fuck. Oh, like that. It's spicy. You're fine. Yeah. Yeah, the Frank's hot sauce type

type one. You know where it's just enough where you're like, oh, fucking, no more of those. And then the only way to solve it is to eat loads more of those. But just one. Just one. So I can get like a taste. Yeah. But yeah, so that's what my, that's my, that's my starter doing. I think that would be delicious. That does sound good. Yeah. Pawn's pill pill with a hot chicken wing on the side. We've never had a side to a starter before, have we? Yeah. No, you can listen. If it means I get it, you can, it can come in the bowl with the thing. Like, whatever means I get it. We don't have to call it a cider. It doesn't have to be on the side. However, as long as I get to eat the chicken wing. I love the absolute, like, you just release all dignity. You're like, just put it wherever you

want it as long as I get it. I don't care. Just stick it in there, mess up the other dish for it, and I don't mind. Oh, roll them back. No cucumber. If anybody puts cucumber near any of my food or in my drink. Oh, really? Yeah. Despite the fact that it's my only meal with my grandparents, I'm saying I'm leaving. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just, I'm out of there, hated. And I was in a restaurant in Australia once and got sparkling water. And I said, can I not get cucumber? And she said, sorry, I have to put cucumber in there. And I said, it's the closest I've ever come to actually having an argument with, like, a waiter because I was like, I'm sorry, I'm paying for the sparkling water and I don't want, I don't want cucumber in it,

if that's okay. And she was like, it's the only way we know which one to refill. Still water, no cucumber, sparkling water, cucumber. That's the system. And yeah, cucumbery water. So you actually ended up having the cucumber. You couldn't just like, you know, put the cucumber on a little side dish and have that on the table so that they knew we fill you. This is, yeah. So this is where the problem becomes mine. I think I can taste cucumber like a shark with blood, you know what I mean? Like one part blood in a thousand, whatever parts water. I think I'm like that with cucumber. I just really, really don't like it. I think I would taste it still. You're going to hate this. I had one of the most horrible things I've ever tasted. I bought a hot

coffee. I got, brought a hot coffee. I was in a studio and it was too hot and I needed to put some cold water in it to cool it down a bit so I could drink it quickly. And I went to the water machine and put a bit of cold water in it, but it was one of those spa water things with cucumber in it. So I ended up having a coffee that tasted like cucumber. Oh man, look at Donald's face. That's absolutely awful and my heart goes out to you. Yeah. I'm sorry that had to happen to you. And when sparkling water goes still, it still tastes like flat sparkling water. It doesn't taste like normal still water, which I don't fully understand. Gassy. Yeah. Pumping it full of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not good. Anyway, sorry, we're back at stealing sparkling and I understand we

need to move forward. No, it's good that we need to know. It just suddenly became important. Just so you know, all the cucumber in the restaurant, we're putting it outside. Yeah, we know where it's going. We know where it's going. There it goes. One way trip. And you wouldn't even get the benefit. You don't put on any. I think you burn calories if you eat cucumber. It's a backward step. All that hard work. I've not talked to Tom since we finished the job we did to get since that day. It feels weird that I've incorporated him so thoroughly. Anyway. What's your main course, Donal? What would you recommend? Oh, hello. Right. So that works in normal restaurants. Does that work in R1, James? Well, I guess it kind of does because you and I

would then recommend just our favorite meals of all time. Yeah. Which is the thing that you don't talk about, right? Yeah. So I think I've found a way. If you're actually a genie waiter and you're good at your job, you're going to tell me what in your opinion is the best meal, James. So what would you recommend? Well, I will happily tell you, you can have what I recommend, which is my favorite main course of all time. Or here's the choice, Donal. Or you can have my dream main course. I'm going to have tacos. You're going to have tacos. Yeah, I'm going to do tacos and I'm going to do it from, like, I'm going to say that we've got some good tacos in Dublin. So I'm going to go from taco places

in Dublin, 777 in particular. 777. Yeah. But I don't know, there's one on the corner near the pub that's called Harry Levin. I like that one. Yeah. It might be called Massa. But I think what I would like, see, in 777 and in certain taco places I've been in American stuff, they do this thing where it's like, it's like fancy tacos, but it's not so fancy that they've left behind what makes tacos delicious. You know what I mean? Like they still slow cook everything and everything's just full of punch and flavor and makes you smack your lips and go, holy shit, that's amazing. But then in terms of the other like elements that they add in terms of textures and stuff like that and crunch and weirdly like pickled pineapple bit, I shouldn't say

pineapple because no one likes pineapple. You know, that sort of stuff where you're like, what the hell is that and why is it so delicious? I'm just going to ask for like an imaginary version of that made up from all the amazing taco places in the world if that's okay. Yeah. I think that's okay. When We Man lived in a van, he didn't have bread. He just had loads of taco shells instead of bread and his fridge was just full of taco fillings. Oh God. I don't think I like this. He was very happy. That's the thing. He wanted to live in the van, right? It wasn't like he... Yeah. It wasn't, you know what I mean? Like it was a choice. He chose to do it. Lived in a van for a year. I do. I feel like, I mean, does he call himself We Man? I feel, I find the whole notion very

uncomfortable. Jason Akuna. But yeah, he does. That's his real name. Of course. I mean, if he'd then, if he'd started like a handyman business called We Man in a van, I'd be happier for him. Yes. But if, you see, you wouldn't feel, I think this is like you deciding to feel sad for somebody who doesn't want to, because like if the guy, what's the name of that guy from the rock climbing documentary? Oh yeah, the free solo guy. He lives, he lives in a van and he eats very kind of meager but, you know, food from the stuff. If he had like a load of taco shells and taco fillings, I'd be like smart. Yeah. I scrolled down and read the comments because there was a YouTube video, We Man in a van, and that he'd lived there for a year. I scrolled down to see

the comments going, here we go. There's going to be everyone feeling sorry for him. Everyone was like, this is amazing. I bet, oh, I wish I had just taco shells in my van. I eat tacos every day. Everyone was loving it. Yeah. I think I'm putting my own standards onto it. I wouldn't like to live in a van with only taco shells, but I'm happy for We Man if he's happy. Yeah. Good on you, Jason. So do you want a We Man van taco as part of your main course as well? I'm all right. I'm all right. One of We Man's van tacos? Yeah. I'd like it in there, mixed in there, and I don't know which one it is, and if I can spot it, then maybe I get to give him the double thumbs up and thank him for

giving me so much joy over the years. I reckon any of us could spot one of We Man's van tacos in a pile of tacos, like a sore thumb. You don't know. You don't know. You haven't seen the thing. That's a challenge I'm willing to accept that challenge knowing that no one will ever be able to set that up. It's unlikely. It's unlikely, especially with the pandemic. It's unlikely. What's in your tacos, though, Donal? Let's get back to your tacos. What fillings are we talking? This is the thing. This is where the, like, what would you recommend stuff also slightly comes in. Like, you just want a load of different stuff. There's too many, you know what I mean? You want, like, a type of all the different meat and seafood and veggies. You just want, like, a load of,

and again, this is where I need help with portion control. This one, I'm feeling bad for Tom. I want him to come over and be able to say hello. I would love to be able to say hello to him at some point. Let's not bring out a thousand tacos, and then at the end of it, they all go to try. A small, a small, at the perfect amount for me to eat. I think what I need is someone else to make those decisions for me. Self-control is limited. And you don't want spicy, either, because I'm thinking, because me and James went to a taco place in LA to get there, called Guisados. It was really good. It was all, like, all the stuff was just, like, stewed stuff to go in tacos. And there was one that you can, I think there were, like,

seven levels of spice. And I went up and they would only let me have level two because I'm such a weedy-looking boy. So let me have the main one. Yeah, because you asked for it. You were, like, please. Yes. And then it was too much for me. My brother once, we were in a restaurant and he, when we were kids, and my brother, in my head, he's, like, nine. Well, maybe he was older. He asked for, like, the spiciest thing. And the waiter said, I don't think it's a good, I don't think it's a good idea, sort of looking at my parents. And he was like, no, that's what I'm having. My parents were like, if he wants it, that's what I'm afraid. And then the chef came out to ask him not to eat it. And he ate it. He went for it. And it was like, it's not nice seeing your brother in pain,

but, like, when he's putting himself through it, it was kind of amazing. I love the chef came out. Yeah, chef came out just like, listen, and especially speaking to a child, we would really impress upon you, this is not a good idea. Every time someone orders that, the chef goes, how old is the person who's ordered this? Do I need to go out there and have a word with them? No, but see, I think a little bit. I'll have, like, a little bit every now and again of, like, the, yeah, I'll go a bit spicy, just for the shock of it, but not, like, on the fucking hot wings thing, where they're like, finish it, put a dab on. I'm like, no, no, leave you alone. How are Nana and Grandma dealing with the tacos, by the way, because having seen my own grandparents

eat anything vaguely messy, it sounds like it's going to be an absolute right off. That in my head, they don't have to eat, because I don't think they would have been into the crisp sandwich. I'm thinking the prawns pill pill, I'm not sure would have been their cup of tea sort of thing. In my head, they're able to, you know, order for themselves. And you know what I mean, I wouldn't decide for them what they are having so they can have their own stuff. I was going to pick sushi because I was in Japan when I was younger. And I didn't eat sushi when I was in Japan. It was the best trip, probably one of the best trips of my life. I was there for two weeks, I absolutely adored it. And I ate a little bit of sushi, just so I could say that I had, but up

until that point, I didn't eat sushi. And then when I came home, I realized I liked sushi, especially when I was doing that stupid diet. And now I'm like, fuck, man, I mean, I really, really missed it. So having actual sushi from Japan would be a good one. Yeah. But that's something that you haven't had, right? So maybe we'll serve Albert Hammond Jr., someone you haven't met, this dish that you haven't had. And if you want, you can ask him for a bit of a taste. Don't want to ask him or ask him how the sushi is when he's got his mouth full to trick him into doing a double thumbs up. Excellent. Yes. Okay, let's do that. Let's say it's great. So it's a platter of tacos for your main course. Yeah, but just random loads of different

ones. And I don't know what each one is. And then I have to ask and say, what's, you know what I mean? And then the person's face to you and you still aren't on the wiser. Yeah. Yeah. So do you like to learn and like, do you like eating to be like a journey of discovery and stuff like that? Do you like to have that involved in your meals? I do, but the problem is because I'm fussy a little bit. What's going on here? I'm impressed. Sometimes I'm impressed by a question that James asked. It happens so rarely that either of us ask what I would consider to be a good interview question that when James asked, I could tell how proud of himself he was while he was asking it. He was doing stuff with his hands. He doesn't normally do a big smile. It was just a lovely

moment. And I should have let it pass rather than nodding at him like, like a proud dad, raising his eyebrows and looking at me like, oh, hello. Every night again, it happens. It is a good question though. But that's what a lot of the stuff you've been saying so far, you've asked like, you know, what we would recommend and you want this, these tacos, you want it to be from different places. You want to ask questions while you're having them. You've considered having sushi from Japan, which I haven't had before. Like, I get the impression that maybe for you, the best time you have a dish is the first time. Real good stuff. Not bad. Yeah, that is a lot of nodding over on the screen. Holy shit.

Yeah. No, I think like the problem is, the problem is because there are some things I don't like when you go like a tasting menu at a restaurant is an amazing thing. But then the worry is there'll be something where they bring it out and you know immediately, okay, that's got mackerel and cucumber in it. And, you know what I mean? Like that feeling. And then especially the people who are, who kind of work in those places, sometimes, I've only been to three of like a tasting menu thing. And two times the waiters were like amazing and just like generous and made it all on experience. And you could say, listen, I actually don't like that. And it would almost be kind of funny and they would say that it would be fine. But then one time I was in Copenhagen

and this waiter came over and he was, you know, he, but he was like a kind of a snob. And he was explaining to us like, listen, on this, this is an edible soil. So you eat the soil. And he would say it to me like, you know what I mean? If I have to say this to people like you, because you don't know, you know what I mean? Oh, okay, we, okay, we eat the soil. And the next one. The absolute nerve of him telling McGregor to eat soil. Yeah. Bullshit. Absolutely bullshit. Yeah. McGregor knows his face down in that soil every day when Peter Rabbit plays a trick on it. Just grazing all day long. And yeah, but then what he said afterwards, so I said, okay, and then the next dish came and I had all these pebbles in it. And I was like, ah,

that kind of rocks, like white rocks with like some fish on top of it. And I was like, oh, fuck, like, and so I pretended it was a joke. And I was like, so I assume we don't eat them, don't eat the stones. Have you ever, and he was like, no, of course. And I was like, have you ever had anyone eat the stones? And he said, yes, we had an idiot in last week. And in my head, that's just a woman, like, bleeding from the mouth and crying because this asshole didn't tell her. And then he thinks she's an idiot. Do you know what I mean? They're following up from the soil, the edible soil. So they're going to go, I don't look like an idiot. No, there's not the cattle back. Yeah. Yeah. Before he tells me, of course, you eat this,

I'll eat it. And then, you know what I mean? Where was that? Noma? It wasn't Noma. I forget the name. I think it was like two men's names was the name of the place, maybe. I'm glad to hear it wasn't Noma because Noma's very nice. And I wouldn't want there to be a rude way to Noma. I've never been to like a place like Noma or to one of those places like, what's your man, Heston Blumenthal? I've never been to like one of those things where you cut into a shoe and actually it's an olive or something. You know, I've never been to one of those mad places, but I would like that a lot. I would love to all the kind of wonder about it. That can be amazing. And is that the thing that would impress you the most? If someone brought your shoe and you cut into it and it was

an olive? Because that was so close to the front of your brain there. That wasn't a reach. We didn't add out any gaps there. Don't just straight away went with, I'd love to go to one of those places where you cut into a shoe and it turns out it's an olive. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe secretly that's what I'm hoping for every time. I think that like, no, but also the smell of olives is quite, I think you wouldn't want that. Like in a way that brings me back to like staying in my grandma's room. You know what I mean? When I was a teenager, it's that kind of like a wooden touches shoes. They're a bit olivey. So that would be a bad match. Yeah. Be a bad match in retrospect. Good tacos in Copenhagen. Yeah. And this is the thing. I think maybe I shouldn't restrict my

tacos to just being from Dublin, but I just wanted to mention that there are good tacos in Dublin because like obviously having tacos from other places, like for example, where tacos are from Copenhagen. Side dish. And again, it came down to two like one, but one of them was it was like this deep fried broccoli from dirt candy in New York. Yes. Enough you've ever had that, but it's like Korean and it's also like a Korean like like sauce sort of thing on it. And it was just like insane. Absolutely blew my mind like, holy shit, to the extent that I was like, I'm going to make that. And I looked up online how to make it involved buying a smoker. And I was like, okay, well, I'm not, that's not, that's not happening this week or any other week. So I

didn't make that. So it's either that or and maybe you could help me with this. There's a restaurant and I went on to look for it and it's not there anymore. It was on Mordor Street. And I think there's a couple of them. And I think this was a smaller version. It began with P. It might have been Italian or Spanish. And you go in, it was quite dark and it was like wooden tables and nice wine and stuff and little portions. Do you know what that place is? But they have these long thin and I don't like courgettes. I think courgettes are too much a cucumber-y for me. Like, you know what I mean? Like that texture, I'm not into it. But like, you know, you get those like long crispy onions where they're not onion rings, but they're like, do you know what I mean?

Like string, like onion strings. Yeah, onion strings, but it's like courgette strings deep fried with stuff. So they're kind of incredible and really long and crispy. I'm just in a big nest. And the saltiest, maddest, like, if you go, like my friend said, listen, we're going to go here and I'm going to order that and you have to order your own. You're not having any of mine. That's just the way it is. And I was like, he's a generous guy. I was like, this is, you know, unusually asshole-y for Taig. But he was right, man. You absolutely mow through them. And I forget the name of it. Pocotino keeps coming, but he's like a football manager. So it's not him. It's not Spantino. It's not Polpo. Oh, Polpetto. It used to be called, that was called Polpetto. And then

Polpo was the other one. Yeah, it was one of the, it's, yeah, it's the same guy. It's a Russell Norman restaurant. So they had them there. And I don't know if they have them in Polpo as well, but fucking hell. And I found myself going back there just to eat it a lot. And I was amazing. The word Polpo is, of course, Italian for drama. Yes, it is. Very good, Ed. It was more, that's more of a nodder, but, you know, I'm pretty happy with that. I don't mind it. Yeah, a nodder isn't good for a podcast. Three people nodding. Yeah, I suppose if I make the two steps to get there, that does work. Yeah, very nice. Can they hear this? Can they hear this? Not our usual fair? No, that sounds amazing. That sounds amazing. Because I guess they would do that now

at Polpo, right? So we could probably find that on the Polpo menu. Yeah, and it's really the only thing that's like not definitely from Ireland, you know what I mean? Like, but it's worth it for that. Like that and the dirt candy thing, I was like, fucking hell. And also, I'm aware this is all like heart attack food. This is all, you know, dead at, you know, 42 and people just understand immediately what's happened, you know, that kind of thing. Like it's, that's where I'm at, but like, it's just too delicious. I'm quite excited about the dirt candy choice, though. I've been to dirt candy. I thought the dirt candy cookbook in my kitchen, which I can't follow. It's really, it's really complicated. It's actually way too difficult. I think it's the one, I think they've

done it like a comic book. So it's like an illustrated cookbook, which you almost have to follow a storyline a lot of the time to be able to make the dish. It's already too difficult for me as it is to make the food that they make there. But I went there, well, for New Year's 2019. And we're going to need to kill in Mockingbird at the, on Broadway. I sound like an absolute, yes, this is the series. It's like, I go and watch plays all the time. But I think, you know, this is crazy. I had no idea you were Tony's theatre. Yeah. Watch that. And then went to dirt candy straight afterwards. Lovely memories. So someone choosing something from there excites me quite a lot, even though the way you described the polpetto side was,

I can hear the passion there. You know, yeah, I've got it. No, I've got it. One of the tacos has the dirt candy broccoli in it. That's totally a thing that you can do. Yeah, that's fine. Totally a thing that would be all right. And then on the side, I'm having those long, thin, salty, courgette strippy things from Polpo. Yes. You look very happy with yourself. Yeah. Yeah, really happy with that. So your favourite drink, your dream drink. Before we hear your favourite drink, I don't know. We do need to ask, what's your dad's favourite soft drink? Oh, yeah, that's important. And the reason why we're asking you that is because, and the episode hasn't gone out yet, it won't even make sense to the listener. We have had another actor on recently

whose father is also a well-known actor. And we found out what his father's favourite soft drink was. And now that we have another actor for a father, we want to continue this tradition, even though it hasn't even started yet for the listener, because that episode hasn't gone out yet. So we would like to know what soft drink your dad drinks the most of. He's pretty good. He doesn't drink a lot of soft drinks, but I would say there's three that come to mind immediately. I mean, there's only so many soft drinks. But the sweetest one would you be Coke? Coca-Cola, not Pepsi. Club Orange and Cidona. Do you have Cidona over there? No. What's Cidona? There's a Muse song. It's like Cider. It's just like a Muse song. Yeah, Knights of Cidona.

I bet you do have it over there. It's under a different brand name or something like that. But it's like Cider, but no alcohol sort of thing, but really sweet. Like an apple tizer. That kind of thing, maybe a little bit tart, but also like crazily sweet. Oh no, Red Lemonade. Sorry, Red Lemonade. That's what it would be. Because yeah, on New Year's Eve, we have like, what are they called? They're called snowballs. They're like tea cakes, but like coconut-y things. That's a tradition. And Red Lemonade. Red Lemonade would be it. It's like a once a year thing. You have it once a year, and then you don't touch it. But yeah, that would be Red Lemonade if I had to order for him. So you wouldn't choose a fizzy soft drink as your dream drink?

No, although Red Lemonade did make me kind of, it does bring me back to like, you know, being younger and everything, which is like a recurring theme with a lot of it. No, I'm going to go, but now after we think that my grandparents are here, so now I'm worried. I think I was planning on getting absolutely shit-faced on Guinness. Oh, you can. Come on. And I just don't think it would be polite with them, but maybe they'd have one too. You never know. Maybe they'd have one too. And what I would like is for, because I haven't had like a pint of Guinness from a pub for a year. I didn't go to any restaurants over Christmas. We opened up in the summer, so I would have had one then maybe. But the pubs haven't been open for a year and a half or

whatever. And I just, I love Guinness in Ireland. So I would go for Guinness and I'd have each one from a different pub. Now I had too many pubs, that would just be getting hot. That would be like screaming at my grandma and then, you know, punching Tom. So I won't do that. But I would definitely have one from Near East, which is amazing. One from Mulligan's and one from Nocton's in Galway, which is where I had my first ever pint of Guinness that I enjoyed. Up until then, I'd just been trying. And somebody once told me your first, a guy in college, this guy called him Quinn told me, your first pint of Guinness is like drinking dirty blankets and that really stuck in my head. It really is. It's absolute, that feeling of like filthy blankets being dragged

down your kind of into your gullet, like just awful. But I had a pint in Nocton's and it was just amazing. And there was Irish music playing and it was like the best ever. So I'm going to go for Guinness, even though it doesn't go with any of the stuff. Fuck that, I haven't been in a pub for a long time. But it does. It sort of goes with everything, right? Yeah. And you can also get like old style Guinness, which is more kind of fizzy and like puppy almost sort of stuff. Like a glass, maybe one of them would be a glass bottle of that, but no, I can get that now if I want. So no, I'll stick with it. I'll stick with the, like pulled by a proper bar man in Ireland. Yeah. It does taste different, doesn't it? Like I had that same night actually that I went to the

Wall of Fast. DoD took us to a pub. Let's get a proper Guinness in a Dublin pub. And while drinking it, I was like, am I imagining that it tastes different? Am I just so excited that I'm here and doing this, that I'm paying more attention to the pint because I'm just zoned in on this experience? Am I imagining it? But it does taste different. It tasted better. But I think it must do because everyone says that, right? So it makes sense that you're coming over from England and having that and going, is it the experience? And I'm washed away with the whole experience of being in Ireland, but then Irish people will go to London and say the Guinness is shit. So if it works both ways, there must be a qualitative difference. Yeah. But ideas you have ahead of time,

like they really affect how you taste something, right? Like this is why I'm happy my grandma and Anna are there. I think I'm probably loving these tacos, tucking in, having a chat, you know what I mean? Like even if they weren't the best. So I'm sure the kind of idea in your head. But I do think it does. And there's also you can get bad Guinness in Ireland too. And you notice when that happens, you know what I mean? It's just much rarer to get it over in London, I think. Shout out to one of my favorite Instagram accounts at the moment, shit London Guinness. Just pictures of terrible pints. But I swear to God, like a pint of nearies or noctines or Mulligans are one of those places or the grave diggers or whatever. It's like, it is amazing. You should do it sometime. It's like,

it's great. I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I've been holding this in for a long time. I reckon if anyone's going to play James in a film, I think I think it's done. All right. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there was there was a point in time where there's a lot of photos of you and Oscar Isaac together, right? Because you've been in a couple of films back to back and stuff. And there's a few photos of the two of you together. And on my Twitter, it would often get photos of the two of you would get tweeted at me and Nish Kumar as the two of you in an alternate reality. Basically, if the two of you were better looking, this is what this is what you'd look like. And it was, it was, it was a nice little brief period in my life. Yeah. What I used to get told, like a lot when I was younger,

that I looked like Kate Blanchett, like a lot. I used to get that for a full year of my life. I was 19 years old, trying to make it as a man in the world. And people would stop me on the street to say that I looked like Kate Blanchett. You don't not look like her. Yeah. Actually. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've got a bit of a beard. She's a very, very good looking person. I met her once and was so sort of bowled over by her. She's an incredible presence. Like she's just like, oh my God. And met her. I don't handle that stuff well. Don't handle. I'm not good on first meeting people. It takes me more than that. We've covered this. I said, so I said, hello. And then I, and then I walked straight into the lady's bathroom

and she saw me do it. And I was like, gosh, she see, she seen me do that. How long do I wait here before I come out? Oh, I went to the lady's bathroom. I guess in that, if anyone else was in there, you could pretend to be Kate Blanchett, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But then take a piss against the wall because I don't understand that they don't have urinals in. Yeah. They're thinking Blanchett's preparing for a role. Fair enough. And now, and you've got me excited because you said you've got a sweet tooth. Yeah. So we're coming to the dessert. I know it's not cheese and biscuits. I know it's going to be something good. It is good. It is good. I'm going ice cream three ways. Okay. Love it.

I'm going 99. Yeah. That we used to like get on holidays when I was a kid. Yeah. Like that 99, that feeling of the excitement and eating it in a hot car and no, I don't need to be in a hot car, but just like the amazement of it and sucking it down through the cone. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. I'm going 99. Before we move on to your next ice cream of the ice cream three ways, let's dig into the 99 a bit. You've got a flake in it, obviously wouldn't be a 99 without it. When are you eating the flake? Because with me over the years, I just, I used to try and make the flake last as long as possible. Have a bite every now and again while eating the ice cream. Now it is much more satisfying just immediately eat the flake home. I've got to disagree with you here, James. I'm not interested

in playing you in the movie. No, no. Well, I think a lot of it depends if we're really digging down into this on the temperature of the flake, you know, because if the flake is cold, there's a lot you can do. If the flake is warm, I don't like that. I think that then you get it on your fingers. It's not good. It doesn't really crumble in the same way. So if you've got a cold flake, I'm going lick the ice cream, dig the flake into the bit where the flake's been in, dig that out and eat a bit of the flake with the ice cream on it. Then maybe have another little bit of the flake and then break the flake up and crumble it onto the ice creams. Then when you lick it, you get surprised little bits of chocolate appearing. Yeah. Where do you stand? And I used to do this

on burying the flake, pushing it right down into the cone. So you've got every time you bite through, you've got a little bit of flake. And bear in mind, Ed used the phrase, and I used to do this. So I directed my dad and brother in a short film once. And in it, my dad, they're playing guards, they're playing like cops. My dad's like eating a 99 to console his younger workmate. He buys him a Magnum and he has a 99. And we were sat in the car in front looking back at them, you know what I mean? Looking at them in the car. And dad, so we were like, I just said, leave it, roll. Let dad eat the 99. Let's enjoy ourselves here. And he bit the bottom of the cone. This is relevant, I promise. Sucked too much of the ice cream down the cone. You know what I mean?

Like you should have eaten some of the cone before you start sucking it down the cone. And then it blew my mind. I saw the flake emerge from the bottom of the cone and kind of like, like sucking it out of the bottom of the cone. It was absolutely bizarre looking. He sucked the flake all the way through the cone. That is power, man. Yeah, no, he'd sucked the ice cream down with the flake and the flake had come with the ice cream. And so it came out covered in ice cream. It was, in retrospect, it was a little bit like the cone was doing a poo. Sure. And that was the first time I'd ever considered bearing the flake. Bearing the flake. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad I had a story that absolutely matches up.

It's amazing. Sometimes you're experienced. Sometimes we just know. Well, you're asking that question. James was nodding. Did that stay in the edit of the film? Yeah, I think the very last bit is called Noreen. I believe it's on YouTube. It's him. I think it's him. I think it might be him getting the flake out. I think it might be in there. Yeah. Amazing. You can't leave out magic like that. So that's part one. That's part one. Ninety-nine. Second part, ice cream sundae from the movies. You know, like the ice cream sundae from the movies. The one that's like big and it's got like melted chocolate on and it's mostly, mostly vanilla ice cream probably, but maybe there's different sorts of ice cream in there

and like hot footage and caramel sauce. And I thought of a topping that I don't think people do really, but I think will be amazing. You know, the bits from the end of a pan of chocolate, the chocolatey bits that stick at the end of a pan of chocolate, they're amazing. They're the best bit by far. Yeah. That's great, of course. Break those off and sprinkle them on top. And then in your head as well, you know, they've thrown away a full pan of chocolate for every four of these little nibs. Well, they're not throwing it away, are they? But yeah, I think those little bits from the end will be amazing as it has a topping. So I want those on those. So like from the movies, like the home alone type madness of like a big chocolate sundae or like,

you know, ice cream sundae. And then, so the last one specific, I loved ice cream, Hagen-Dazs place in Nester Square when I did a play there, when I was like 19 years old. I used to go to I was like, what's the thing that, is it Garth says in Wayne's World or whatever, like I can stay open a weeknight like that? It was like that for the first time in my life. I was like, you know, living at large, started eating pizza, went crazy. Used to go to the Hagen-Dazs cafe all the time. And my friend Michael, who I wrote, co-wrote the series with him and my brother, my friend Michael came over, and we used to go there all the time and get Hagen-Dazs. And he did this thing one day, which I thought was genius. We got a tub when we were leaving, so we'd have more. And when

we got back, you can't share a tub with like a platonic friend. It doesn't feel right. So he chopped it in half with a bread knife down the middle, and then it made its own little bowl. Like a little trough. Yeah. Yeah, like a little trough, exactly. And then I want to scoop out of that cookies and cream, I think, into a little bowl and an affogato made from that. So I've got the leftover, you know what I mean? Like I've got the leftover stuff there for afterwards as well. And then maybe a Krispy Kreme donut on the side. Now, I'm trying that in just as if you have it back there, great. If you don't, that's fine. But yeah, that's my dessert. What kind of Krispy Kreme? Glazed. When I finished that crazy diet, I went to a shop. I'd already eaten the pizza and a half

a bottle of wine. Then I'd ate loads of sweets, and I walked to this shop, and I'd been perving on these Krispy Kreme donuts all the time I'd been there. And I bought one, and I left. And I was aged. I just turned into ecstasy and butterflies. And as I finished it, I looked up and I was back outside the shop again. And I just walked in a circle. So I ate another one as I walked away. And I looked up and I was outside the shop again. I ate another donut. It's no wonder I was ill. You did three laps. Yeah, three laps and three donuts. So yeah, if we can throw one of those in on the side as well, I'll definitely take that. Now, that's complicated, I know, but I just... No, look, we can do that. That dessert is the exact dessert you would use to research for the

role of James A. Kester in a film. Yeah, to be fair. The passion with which you were talking about the ice cream and everything you've got to do with it, like chop the thing in half, one scoop out, put it in an avocado, that's the passion with which James speaks about ice cream. Yeah, I call it research. Joe Watt, I want to even make you read the lines in the audition. If you came in and you told me you'd done that, I'd be like, this guy's got it. Yeah, that's a straight offer. I'll see you on set. See you in Kepwick. Yeah, ice cream just makes me happy. Always has done, I'm guessing always will until it makes me ill. Yeah, so yeah, I'm going heavy on the ice cream. The avocado? Yeah. I take it you don't want cucumber coffee on this avocado. Fuck right off,

like we'll have a full argument, a full stand-up argument if there's anything. I've been trying to do them myself, like I've got a Ness, what's it called? Like a Ness? An espresso machine. Ness espresso machine, thank you. I've got one of those and I was doing like a cookies and cream thing with the thing as like my treat during the week to get through lockdown and I did enjoy it a lot, but it's not the same as when, I don't know, I don't know what to do. It's not proper, again, it is, I don't know. It's just not the same though. Hagen Dahl's Cookies and Cream is your go-to supermarket ice cream. Yeah, I would say so. When I was younger, I think they had a thing, myself and my girlfriend at the

time were mad about this. It was like, it was a Hagen Dahl flavour called vanilla, fudge, maybe caramel or something like that, but it had these big pools of dark chocolate, sticky, like a pool, like in it, all these pools in it and you would put and you're like, how the fuck have they done that? Like I didn't understand how it was not solid and I was like, oh my god and I loved it so much and they don't make it anymore, I don't think, I haven't found it anywhere. So maybe I would go for that just to mix things. Maybe I'll go for that in the Sunday, I'll go for that in the Sunday and I'll keep maybe just plain vanilla or cookies and cookies and cream for the avocado thing, yeah. So you would like aggressively cold, angry, sparkling water until

the penguin screams. Pop it on your bread, you want a crispy French baguette with Kerrygold butter, the heel of a batch loaf from superquin, the little crisp sandwich with cheese and onion potatoes. Starter, prawns pill pill from Old Spot and Bull's Bridge, with chorizo from the Port House, plus one chicken wing from the Canal Bank cafe on the side. Main course, a platter of tacos from all the world's best taco places, including 7-7, Massa and Wee Man's Van. One taco has a deep-fried broccoli from dirt candy in it. Side dish, courgette string's nest from Polpetto, listed on zucchini fries on the polpo menu, according to Great Benito. Drink, three pints of Guinness, from Neary's in Dublin, Mulligan's in Dublin, and what have you written here, Benito?

It's in your way. Noctans. Noctans in your way. What's Benito written? Well, I presume he spelled it the right way, but not in a way that you would expect. Yeah, the way Donald is spelled, imagine the madness of that and just put it onto something that sounds like noctans. Dessert, ice cream freeways, a 99 with a flake in it, ice cream sundae from the movies with nibs from a pan of chocalar, affogato maybe left over hargindars, plus the half a tub hargindars with a cup of a bread knife, and then why not a glazed crispy cream for however many laps of the block you can do. You look really pleased with yourself. Yeah, and I know loads of people will say that's not a good, you know what I mean, like that's, you know, it's a lot of weird stuff and it's all,

you know, but fuck that man, that sounds amazing. Sounds pretty good. I'm good to go. I've digested that sandwich and I'm good to go. Great. I think at the end of it though, we are going to send out a Farmer Brown sandwich for you. Yeah, just to top it all off. Just on the house, like a thank you for coming, Farmer Brown sandwich on the house. But don't worry, if you can't eat it, feel free to send it away to, you know who? Yeah, we'll put it in a blender. Make a nice smoothie out of it. I'm worried about him. He's a great actor and a very nice man. I don't want to do this to him, but he'll thank you in his Oscar speech. I want to special thank you to Donald Gleason, who sent me all of his leftovers when he went to the Dream Restaurant. It was such a great

experience playing the Fat Controller in Thomas the Tank edge in the movie. Yeah, unfortunately, Peter Jackson and I didn't see eye to eye. He asked me to leave and it was a giant waste of time. It was all worthless. Donald, thank you. Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. You've been a dream guest. Thank you so much, Donald. Thank you so much, Lads, and thank you for keeping me happy during lockdown with the podcast and the stuff you do. It's been great. Really appreciate it. Well, there we are, James, the off-menu menu of Donald Gleason there. Delicious. Nutritious. Suspicious. Suspicious and oh no. Or suspicious. One of us had more spent on their education than the other. The one who could rhyme words better.

Look, that was a great episode. Loved having, loved having Donald on. And I'm very much looking forward to watching Frank of Ireland, which is airing weekly from Thursday the 15th of April at 10pm on Channel 4. And all episodes will be available as a box set on all four, James. Also, thank you, Donald, for not saying Manuga Honey. We would have had to kick you out the restaurant. Yes. And also, big thank you to Bleasdale for suggesting the Manuga Honey for this episode. That was actually my suggestion, but I'm happy to punt it over to Bleasdale. Yeah. Well done, Bleasdale. That's another point for you. Come on, do it. You want to do it? Bleasdale. There we go. Bleasdale's caught wind of this, of course. I wouldn't know.

I've told you Bleasdale's caught wind. I sent you screen grabs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's caught wind of it, mate. Bleasdale. Yeah, I know that it's, you know, maybe it's an advice for me to continue it when I know Bleasdale's caught wind of it. He's going to get a big head, mate. He's going to start doing conventions. He's going to start doing his own podcast called Bleasdale. I would welcome it. Yeah. Yeah, I would welcome it. If Bleasdale wants to do his own podcast, which is just called Bleasdale, spelt with multiple E's and A's and stuff all the way for it, and it's just Bleasdale talking about the secret ingredients on the off-menu podcast. Yeah. So each episode is just about a different secret

ingredient we've chosen, and that's it. Yeah. Then he can absolutely do it. I will not be a guest or refuse to come on the podcast at any point. I'm not going on that either. Sorry. Pretty sure that's in modern times, in the internet age, that's the harshest burn you can ever do on someone is turning them down for a podcast they haven't even started yet. Yeah, that I've just come up with. Yeah. Bad luck, Bleasdale. We've got some thanks to give, James. Absolutely. First is to Rainbow. That's the word Rainbow, but without the W, who sent us some amazing gyoza. So good. And there were some really nice, like, dipping sauces in there. The pickles, man. Oh, the pickles were great.

Delicious pickles. Ah. They sent us loads of gyoza. I mean, I've had a couple of bags already. Yeah. How many have you had? About the pork, the chicken, and the duck. Oh, baby. The mushroom is very good as well. You're looking forward to the mushroom, looking forward to the prawn. Very good. So thank you very much to Rainbow. They also sent a very cool t-shirt, which I put on straight away. You did. I had a Zoom thing with you later on that day, and you were wearing it immediately. Before I even ate the gyoza. That's fresh out the bag, I thought to myself. Fresh out the bag. Also, thank you to Rockfish, who sent us an amazing sort of feast box. Lemon soul. Dover soul, I believe. I don't know if...

I'll put lemon on it. All right. Yeah. Good point. Lemon soul with seaweed butter. A really nice crab. Oh, man. The crab... Crab Thermador. It was crab Thermador on like sourdough toast. Oh, boy. So delicious. Heavenly. But, you know, restaurants are coming back soon. Restaurants are coming back soon. Looking forward to that. You know, I'll miss the cook at home boxes. I hope they keep them up. You know, people say some things we might keep from this pandemic. I hope they keep them. But eat a roll design. This makes me think of all you said on the podcast before, and it's boring, and he doesn't want me to say it again. There's loads of restaurants I'm looking forward to going to. I was contacted by someone

from the Farrier in Camden, which looks like an amazing gastropub, James, and they said, oh, would you mind mentioning it on the podcast, because we're really new and we'd like people to come when things reopen. And I thought, hey, yeah, sure. Let me check out the menu. And then I went on the menu and I was on the menu for probably 20 minutes, just reading about all of it and imagining it. Great. The Farrier in Camden. I might go. Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast and give it a review. We never ask for that, really, but do do that. And just keep yourself safe. Keep yourself safe. Keep yourself clean. Bye. Bye. Oh, no, Mark. From invisibility to where the aliens are living amongst us.

It's Microscope, the improvised comedy show from the award-winning John Kearns and me, Matt Ewing, an all-round nice guy. Where's it available? I'll tell you, iTunes, Spotify, Acast, and all the other places you get podcasts from. It's Microscope. Hello. It's me, Amy Gladhill. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where Spokes and my Mum and Astro about seaweed on mashed potato and our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by... Me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil, in case... Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here, sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News.

It's about all the news stories that we've missed out from the North, because, look, we're two Northerners. Sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The news stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off, and that's a new podcast called Northern News we'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glill's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.