Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Lara Ricote

Episode Date: October 21, 2026

Award-winning stand-up comedian and actor – star of Channel 4’s ‘Break Clause’ and ‘Make That Movie’ – Lara Ricote joins us in the Dream Restaurant this week. Did anyone else have teeth like rice (but not cooked)?Lara Ricote stars in ‘Break Clause’. All episodes are available to watch now on Channel 4. Follow Lara on Instagram @lararicoteWatch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube.Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcastFollow Off Menu on Instagram and TikTok: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Ed Gamble is on tour in 2027 with ‘Fresh Hell’. For dates and tickets go to edgamble.co.ukOff Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster.Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Video production by Ben Williams and Megan McCarthy for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's Ed here from the Off Menu podcast that you are listening to right now. You'll know that I'm doing a brand new stand-up comedy show on tour next year, fresh hell. And we are delighted to announce that we are doing two more shows at the London Palladium, Friday the 19th of March, Saturday the 20th of March. You've got to come to these shows. They're going to be great. They're on sale now. Ed Gamble.combele. at UK for ticket details. Welcome to the off-menu podcast, taking the falafel of conversation, the hummus of humour,

the pickled chilies of chat, the general mixed salad of friendship, and wrapping it all up in the flatbread of podcasting. Zach J. Gamble, my name is James Aikas. Together, we own a dream restaurant every single week. We invite in a guest, and ours on their favourite ever start,

a main course dessert, side dish, and drink, not in that order. And this week, the guest is Lara Ricote. Lara Ricote. Laura is an amazing comic, James. Award winning, a comics comic, but also an audience's comic. The People's Comic. Everyone loves, loves comedy. Also, is an actor.

An actor. Brand new show, Break Clause, sitcom, available on Channel 4. Now, all episodes are available now. It's been getting brilliant reviews across the board, James. Yes, we'll find. out more about it. We will. We'll find out more about it. In the episode, of course. I would also say Lara's most recent show, Inkling, was fantastic. It's one of my favorite shows I saw at the fringe. Yeah. She's already done the London run of it, but hopefully she'll do more.

So keep an eye out. Go and see Lara. Fingers crossed, but here we go. Even though we love Lara and her comedy, we will kick her out of the Dream Mestron if she says the secret ingredient, which we deem to be unacceptable. Let's leave a quick pause. And if you're watching this or listening to this, see if you can guess what it's going to be. Okay, there you go. You've got your guess. This week the secret ingredient is ricotta. It's ricotta. Sounds a bit like her surname.

Yeah. And it'd be really funny to kick someone out for that. It's quite a common ingredient. Mmm. And a nice ingredient. It's delicious. And Italian cuisine, very popular with people. Yeah.

So it's not out the question that it's going to come up and it'd be, I'd really get a kick out of. She'd be really funny person to kick out. Yeah. Because I don't think she'd understand what was happening. She'd be very funny about it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. should definitely think we were being out of order, which we kind of would be. Yeah. Unquestionably. And it feels like something that could come up in any of the courses. In any course. No course is safe. No course is safe. Sometimes it pops up in dessert, doesn't it?

Yeah, absolutely does. I mean, I'd say that drink is the only course that it's not going to come up in. Unless it's a really weird smoothie. Yeah, unless this is a savory drink on the cards, but there probably isn't. No. Oh, and let's not forget, James. I'm on tour in 2027. The show is called Fresh Hell.

Edgamble.com.com.com. For tickets. I'm doing four shows at the London Palladium in March. Tickets available now, Edgambl.com.com. Also, everyone should go on YouTube and subscribe. That's a great plug. You've got to go on YouTube. To watch this, for one. Yeah.

You can watch this episode. And there's 40 other things plus. At least, including at Craig Simon's, That is the channel that everyone should subscribe to. At Craig Simons Live. If you subscribe to that, I'm hearing that there's some exciting stuff, content going to come to that channel pretty soon. December the 1st is when something might be on Craig Simon's life. It's very exciting.

At Craig Simon's Live. This is the off-menu menu of Lara Rikote. you. Welcome Lara to the dream restaurant. Thank you. Welcome of Lara Cotein to the dream restaurant. I've been expecting you for some time. Is that true? Yeah, ages.

Yeah. How long exactly do you think we've been expecting you? Be precise. A year, three months. Wow. That's bang on. Yeah. Bang on.

Yeah. That's around the time. A couple of days out. Ed doesn't have the heart to tell you. Really? Yeah. What, don't you have the heart to tell me? It's just you.

You were two days out. It's one year, three months, two days. Okay. Now I guess you had the heart. Yeah. Well, he made me have the heart. Yeah, that's good. It's a friend. Yeah. He's a good friend. What's the song that starts with it's been 10,000 16 days?

Oh, I thought you were going to go, it's been one week since that one. That's one week by bare naked ladies. Yeah. Bear naked. I played that the other night. Me and my wife were just trying to get to sleep. I was like, don't worry, we need to get sleep. I'll put some relaxing music on, and I put on one week by Bare Naked Ladies. What type of speaker system do you have in your room?

Just through my phone. Oh. Yeah, I put it on really loud. Okay. And then that made... In a cup or in your mouth? It was just bare out. Hmm. That's the word way to make it sound, absolutely. But put it on really loud, and then I really laughed at my own joke. Oh, yeah. Because it's not smooth. It's not relaxing at all one week by Bare Naked Ladies. Yeah, yeah. I don't know that.

Yeah, you would find that relaxing. You not heard the song? I've not heard many songs, James A. Castro. So you might want to know that from the get-go. Yeah. There are many songs I've not heard. Pretty much, most. Really?

I'm getting on it now, slowly. Have you heard? Are you starting from the beginning? Sort of. Josie Long's actually sending me a couple, the little podcast you make called Welcome to Music, just for me, thanks. Wow.

Yeah, actually, that is very nice. And she's just sending me different songs that I should listen to. I've listened to Ella Fitzgerald right now. Great. That's nice. Well, I'm on that. It takes me a while because I don't want to. You don't want to listen to Ella Fitzgerald.

I don't want to listen to anything. Every time I'm listening to music, I'm thinking, can I call my mom? Can you believe that's the truth? It's bad. And I don't feel like I should tell anybody about that. And I just did. So growing up, you weren't into music. Yes, yes.

No, growing up, like, we would listen to music in the house. I don't know. I don't have like a, I'll listen to one song again and again and again. But it kind of needs to like settle into me before I can like it. I won't like it just by listening to it once. Is there a song that you really like that is a good example of that? Seabird, D. Lessey Brothers. I've not heard that. Is this a Josie Long?

Seabre fly home. Sounds like a bad song. Oh, well, it's not. No? Is this a Josie Long recommendation? No. Seabed, seabird, fly home. It's actually beautiful. The Olesi brothers are people, every time I play this song, people go, that's a really beautiful song.

People ask me, what song is that? I go, Seabird by the Alessi Brothers. So you put it on often when people are like at your house or whatever, and you could. I would never put music when people are in my house because I know I'm not equipped. I'm not going to be putting something that anybody wants to listen to. I only have one song right now. So you just have to put on Sibur by the Lessie Bres by the Lessie Bres. brothers on over and over again.

I wouldn't dare put anything. Somebody goes, hey, can we get some music on? I go, that's all in your jurisdiction, man. But you don't mind other people putting on music in your house? Yeah, I don't mind it. No, I think it's good. And I think I should also be going with it as well, because I know that music is a powerful thing that many people have fallen in love around.

This is blowing my mind that you're not a music fan. I can't. Well, imagine having to say something like that to two people, that I'm not a music fan. It feels awful. I don't want that to be have to have anything to do with my personality. Yeah. It just is true that I haven't had like a sort of deep and constant relationship to it, but I'm working on that now and I'm trying to get sort of going. Yeah.

I know, but this is true. I do love lyrics and lyrics when I'm at karaoke and I listen to a song, for example, what's up by four non-blonds? This music, I almost stuttered, but I didn't. This lyric is making me cry at the karaoke. Which particular lyric? Come on, the part where it's like, what's going on? Yeah. Actually, what's going on?

Yeah, but it also, like the revolution part, the part about the hill. Great Big Hill of Hope. Yeah, I can't really remember all the... I can't. Is that what you'd sing at karaoke? Would you be singing it? Well, I just recently tried it, and I couldn't believe what it was saying. The thing about it is that...

And you were crying at the karaoke. Well, I can cry, no problem about that. Yeah, that's moving to me. Also, it's like, yeah, this is actually what probably music is about. But I don't know about that yet. I do have a sense of it being the case when you listen to it. You know what I'm talking about? Well, yeah, it feels like, if you don't mind me saying,

you may be just arrived on Earth yesterday. That's how you're talking. You're talking like, I think this is what music is. On a fiesta. Like maybe you're an alien. and you just got here and you're like, oh, I get what lyrics are, they're emotions.

That's how you're talking about it. What's Fiesta Day? Right. That was my question. Oh, I meant yesterday. Did I not say yesterday? No, you said it feels like you've just arrived here on a Fiesta day. I'm going to go ahead and make it that.

I mean, it's been recorded, so... Yeah, well, we both thought you said Fiesta Day, and so did Ben. It feels like you've just arrived here on a Fiesta day. No, I should have. said you just arrived on earth yesterday. On earth. Oh. Yeah.

On earth yesterday. On earth yesterday. Oh, you arrived on earth yesterday. You've arrived on earth. You've arrived on earth for yesterday. I thought I've never had that phrase before. I thought when I said it, I was like, and I was getting the reaction I was getting, I was like, I've said something deeply offensive.

So I was like, I've really insulted our guest by saying, Fiesta. It's like you've arrived on Earth. yesterday. And then I was talking, and you were looking at me like, you fucking what, mate? I said... But it's because you thought I said, Fiesta Day. Yeah, and I said, I'd never heard this before. But also

it kind of mean, party day. Yeah, I thought he was trying to make a connection with you as as a Spanish speaker, you know? I mean, it's like he thought it was being racist. I said, well, that should show. Kindness, probably, it's related to me. It's probably because you were, you got here on Fiesta day, and so you're only just sort of

having a relationship to sort of everything being exciting with through music, I'm going, maybe. I'm going like that. Maybe. Well, sorry, but it's the confusion. No worry. How about your relationship to food?

Thank you. Is food something that, like, you've always had a good connection with, or is it like music where you're like, I don't get why people like this? I didn't say that I don't get why people like it. Please don't put that on the record. You said anyone who likes music as an idiot. I didn't say that. This has been recorded.

I didn't say yesterday. I really did say that I did say that I haven't gone. I did say that I haven't gone. gotten around to it yet. And you're trying. And I'm trying. And I understand that there's a value. And also I said some stuff about people falling in love around it.

And I value that. So honestly, I feel pretty like I've made my case around how I am. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Definitely. I'm saying food is definitely something that I have a relationship with. My family is a big time food family. Everybody cares about it a lot.

Sometimes if I don't cook for too long, I feel like I'm like dishonoring my family. Really? I actually had that realization. the other day. I had like, like, just kind of bought, like, I don't know, one pot meal or whatever the hell, maybe for like three days in a row. And I had this feeling of like, if my family knew I had done this, that would be bad. You'd be in trouble? Well, they would be like, sort of like disgusted by me. And then I'd have to deal with that. Yeah. Personally. So they're cooking all the time your family. It's always like, the kitchen's always busy. Kitchen's busy. Cooking from scratch.

Scratch. Yeah. Before we talk more about food, I'm just going to put a quick break in the conversation, Judge. Oh, here we go. A break clause, if you were. Wow, that was awesome and smooth. Thank you so much. Your sitcom that you're in, the channel 4 sitcom break clause.

Why are you putting 4 up? Because it's the 4 of the channels. Channel 4. Throw up quick 4 for us. Thank you. Tell us a little bit about... We had to beg him. We had to beg him to put the 4 up.

Yeah. You know, I'm famously anti-channel 4. Are you? Always happened. I'm on it this year. Oh, well then I love it. Thank you, James A-Caster. James is really trying with Channel 4, but the problem is he arrived on a fiesta day.

Yeah, it does get confusing when you arrive on a fiesta day. It's a fiesta, everyone. I'm really, really gutted that that's going to be a recurring thing. So I'd rather the first bit isn't in the podcast. It's the conversation bit. It always goes in the podcast. Why I was confused as well, not just the phrase Fiesta Day, which I'd never heard before. But also, if I arrived on a Fiesta Day, I'd love music.

Yeah, because surely. Probably music would already be playing. No, but also, that's the thing that made sense about it. Yeah. It feels like you arrived on a Fiesta Day, and now you're going, oh, there's music around, and it has lyrics, and it makes me feel stuff. We're all going. Whereas me saying it feels like you arrived on Earth yesterday.

Yuck! Yeah, yeah. Confusing! Delete. Tell us a little bit about break clause, please. That is a show that I'm in. It's a rom-com. I play The Girl.

It is a story of a couple. They live in Leeds that's in the North. And they live there for four years. They're in love. Kiss, kiss, kiss, and love. Intimacy coordinator style stuff. Yeah. Then, this is me doing a little kiss stuff for the listeners.

With my fingers and my toes. And then they moved to London because she has a job. He doesn't. Uh-oh. He cheats on her the night before they moved down. They already signed a lease. They're going to live together for six months. They follow them, the cameras.

They follow them every month for the six months that they live together. That's a freaking rom-com. I'm in it. It's very good. Sounds fantastic. It's actually quite lovely and funny. Yeah. A lot of people from S&L are in it.

Uh-huh. U.S.? Uh-uh. UK. Ooh. It's good. It's good. Yeah, yeah.

It's very good. Yeah, yeah. You're going to host it. Say the honest truth. I think anyone's asking me. Yeah, not yet, but. I need to learn how to speak first. Yeah.

God, that would be definitely. You can't put this on live TV. This guy's saying things like Fiesta Day when he means to Earth Yesterday. It's interesting. People go. People start Googling. Then you have a sort of, oh, I have dirt on my pants. I can't see any dirt on your pants.

It is dirt. What sort of dirt? Probably food. And that's a one little segue. We always start with still a spark and mortar. Do you have a preference? I am, of course, going for the sparkling kind. For me, that's better.

And I think it's delicious. And I can't believe it's bad for your teeth. I think a lot of this is conspiracy theory. The teeth stuff. Yeah. I think it's too the government are saying it's bad for your teeth because if everyone has sparkling more

at the time we'd have too much fun probably also they have to take too long to carbonate all of it yeah exactly it's going to take up too many resources Do you guys think you're ever going to get those big famous people teeth be honest about it? Vaniers? No, I don't think so.

Really? How big are we talking? Too big, she can't close her mouth that much she had small ones that we all loved and we all have her small ones Yeah. And then she got them changed. How does that make you feel that you've got the same teeth as your mom and she changed hers? Well, imagine.

Yeah. You can fill up the freaking gap. You feel betrayed? It feels like, what the hell? Yeah. Mean, hurtful. Yeah. A clear day that she didn't like what we got.

Yeah. Yeah. Did she go to Turkey? She went to Colombia and she paid a good amount of money and then they fell off. during New Year's Eve we had a party in my dad's studio on the stroke of midnight uh-uh the meal before

this one that's the front the front on the right the front on the right what we're seeing a really small one just fell out we're seeing one of those really small ones

was it five had they'd been filed down to put it so it was tiny little fan yeah but even even more like round. They become kind of like, in some way, screws. Yeah. But it's your tooth.

Ooh. Yeah. And we all were like, disgusting to look at, but it's our mom. Yeah. And it's New Year's Eve. And it's New Year's Eve. Such a bad time for it to happen. It's a bad time. She glued it. She's super glued it. Went to the party. No problem. She's like that. Then it happened again. Lots of different times. So I can't even tell it too many stories. Always the same one. Kind of not. Yeah. Kind of different ones

Is it a bad job The person did on it in Columbia then I mean I think we could assume It must be That doesn't happen to all of them does it I don't think it happens to everybody No but she got them done again And even bigger ones over the big ones

Yes even bigger ones over the big ones Like a Russian doll situation With the teeth Yeah then at least when they fall It's not like go straight to tiny But it goes straight to middle But still it's about dissonance anyway Yeah, yeah, it's the comparative.

It's the way you can see that. Yeah, you can see that. Yeah. Not the right one. I think I'd rather get one huge tooth that goes all the way around. And then just slice it in the middle. Or yeah, just draw on it maybe with a Sharpie. Yeah, but imagine actually there's probably a reason why we don't just have one huge tooth. Yeah, for eating and stuff, maybe. Yeah, I know, but probably like for eating in some specific way that it makes a difference to have separate ones.

If not, we would just probably have one, one at the top one in the box. I don't know. I think it sounds great just having one on the top, one on the bottom. I don't see any drawbacks. Yeah, I guess actually no food would be stuck anywhere. Yeah. Maybe it would be about it being too painful to grow it all in one. Oh, yeah, that would be bad.

And then if you lose a tooth, you're done for. You're completely fucked, don't you? Yeah, yeah. I actually think it's probably around that. It's like, it's so that you can lose them and not be fucked for life. Am I allowed to curse on this? Yeah, yeah. Fuck for life, FFL.

Yeah, because if you don't have only no tooth in the top, only tooth in the bottom, and it's one. Yeah, that's bad. That's freaking bad. Yeah. I love that your mom's got huge veneers. That's fantastic. Yeah, it's funny.

Definitely funny, huh? It's funny. At least. And they keep pulling out on the year's even stuff. Last time that they fell off was July last year, so it's been a while. G1 then? I think so. But also, would she tell you about all of them?

I mean, definitely. It's fun for the whole family. So you always get told if one of her teeth falls out. One time I was just an olive, did it. We were in New York City. If we went to Broadway, she only had one missing. Does her teeth only fall out on special occasions? Actually?

I mean, I do think that there might be something around the fact that, like, it really shouldn't now. Yeah. She's having too much of a good time. There goes. Maybe if she's enjoying herself, she's a bit more like just shaking her head around, loosening everything up. You shouldn't, not when you got veneers. Does having veneers mean that, like, sparkling water won't affect them in the same way as it affects natural teeth?

Very good return to the sparkling water. Thank you. And I would say, probably, yes. They're probably made of different stuff than teeth are. Yeah, you'd hope so. God, man. Yeah. I would.

So would you consider getting veneers so you can drink as much sparkling water as you like? No, I can't get veneers. I can't. Please. Because of what's happened to your mom. I just think it's not right to get different teeth than the ones you have unless you have, oh my God, I have two fake teeth. Okay. I was just remembering that while I said it. These two of mine are fake. Really?

Uh-huh. Why they fake? What happened? Because my family said to me that I should get, this is actually the reason. Aw, because I grew up in Miami, Florida, and I had two teeth that were too small. Okay. They were like rice, but not cooked. Okay?

No, you didn't. Yes. They weren't like rice. They were like rice. They were my teeth, man. I know what they were like. That's so small. Yeah, they were like rice but not cooked.

Were there gaps? I mean, remember they were cooked or not? No, because cooked gets a little puff. Yeah. Sure. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But even then, I would say.

Were they gaps in between them and the teeth next to them? Yeah. So it was like a bit of rice and then just like air. Yeah. Yeah. Don't do that phase about my teeth before, please. And also, and then. And then the option was either squish everything together or leave the gaps.

My mom said to me, the gaps give you personality. So I don't think that that's true. I think my personality comes from somewhere else. And truth be told, I think I still have it. And I've got them covered. I just got them covered. Those with my options. Make them all sort of gaps everywhere.

Or just cover. That's not an option though. No. Making all of the teeth have gaps. That's all like rice. No, no, not all like race. All regular how they are, two are rice. Then the rest of them are sort of spread out a bit

so that there's not just two big gaps around the rice. So the option was make more gaps? Make more gaps so then it's just like regular. I don't know if it would be regular. It wouldn't be regular. Just like even. So there's a gap between every single one of your teeth? Yes, in an even sort of one.

That's what they offered me. Unless they've got like seven teeth. No, no. This was just even, just put you put some. sort of thing in your mouth so that all of them get a little bit separate from each other. You're right. Or you cover the two that are two separate from each other with some other other teeth and then you just go on business as usual.

Which is obviously what you decided to do. I think he chose the best option. Yeah, yeah. Because I think if you spread them out the way you're talking about, those two would still look like rice. Yeah. Yeah, the rice option. It wouldn't be like no one would notice that you have two rice teeth.

Yeah, but it can be fine to have rice teeth. Yeah, yeah, sure. I think that the issue is just like everything pointing at. These teeth are my rice teeth, you know, like the big gap. Yeah. That's like sort of like, rice teeth here. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I definitely know what you're saying.

I still don't know if I believe the rice that you had rice teeth. But like, yeah. I can show you a photo. Okay. Later. Popenoms or bread. Populbs or bread. Okay.

Oh, popadams or bread. Yeah. Oh my God. I didn't know what that was. what you just did. Well, you've worked it out now. Yeah. Took me a second.

Bread, definitely for me. Definitely. Pop-a-dom, come on. Too thin. That's your issue with them? I'm not at church. I don't know. I just said that.

Not something I really stand by it. No. I'm not at church. I mean, I guess it does have... You're not a church. Yeah, you're not a church. I'm not going to fact check you there. You're definitely not a church.

Unless you see the podcast studio is your church. Uh-uh. But I was saying I'm not at church and it's not a wafer. I don't want a wafer. You know what I was talking about the whole time. Yeah. But then he started talking about the podcast studio being a church. So that's why I got confusing. This is Benito's church. Is it? Yeah. The church of Benito. He sees this. He sees this church. Yeah. And his dojo, he calls it as dojo as well. He does call it his dojo. I don't know what that means. It's where you train if you're doing judo, but he calls it as dojo because this is where he trains all his producer skills.

Hey, that's awesome. And dojo is also what David Harbour told Lily Allen he was going to his dojo. But that's where he was having all of his affairs. And that's where she found the big bag of butt plugs. Big bag of butt plugs he found. How big? Well, there was a shop, wasn't it? I can't remember what it was, Duane Reed bag full of butt plugs is what she found.

It's in the songs. It's a matter of record. Right. I honestly didn't hear them. Of course. Sorry. I'm so sorry to reference music again. Josie Long hasn't got around and said you the butt plug song.

That's usually after Ella Fitzgerald is you get said Lillian's song about butt plugs. You might quite like it because it's all lyrics that album, really. I'm interested for sure. It's very clear what she's talking about and it's all lyrics. I don't think you'd think to be very clear, Ed Gamble. I just feel like you're so new to music because of the fiesta day that you maybe don't need any subtext. I read poetry. Okay?

Name one poem. Wild geese. See, this is a problem because me and James don't know any poems. I actually named a really regular one. Yeah, I don't know. Mary Oliver. I can quote one line. Please.

You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees repenting. You only have 20 miles or something like that. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. I was pretty convinced at the beginning there that you were making that up. Was it?

And then at the end, I thought, if you've just made that up, that's crazy. Beautiful, huh? Soft animal of your body. Love what it loves. She has another line that says, Joy is not made to be a crumb. I love that one.

That one's special because it assumes that somebody made joy and they didn't make it to be a crumb. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I find it hard to interpret poems sometimes, but I think you've done very well. I can do a thing called Welcome to Poetry for you. You're not interested.

I'm interested. It's very nice to read some poems. And sometimes you don't have to understand everything. If you let yourself not understand some stuff, then you can be really, maybe this is good advice for myself about the music stuff. Just let yourself not understand it. Yeah. And I'm always frustrated.

I'm like, what's saying? You can like what you like. This is what Mary Oliver tells us in that poem, right? Actually. So yeah, just relax, just enjoy what you enjoy. I think my issue with poetry is being made to study it at school. You did. Yeah, and then having to go through it and work out the meaning of it.

And then you're like, maybe it's this. And they go, no, no, no, this is what the meaning of it is. They should have never said that to you. And it sort of destroys any love for it, really. Who did that? My English teachers. Who? Oh, Mr. Cake.

Really? Mr. Cake. What? What? Mr. Cake. Mr. Cake. Yeah. You joking? No.

Was your English teacher? Yeah, one of them, yeah. Mr. Cake, if you're listening, you shouldn't have done that, man. I had no issue with your name personally. I think it's fun. I think it's fun. Well, get this. Yeah.

We had a teacher at our school, and he was like, I think he was a math teacher, but also his other title was Master of Discipline. Guess what his name was? No. Mr. Horny. How did it get spelled? He went to school in a Mr. Men book. It was H-A-W-N-E-Y.

H-A-W. But it was definitely Mr. Horny. Are you kidding? Men just like treat these things like they're normal. They're probably a joke there somewhere, huh? Yeah. Around that type of stuff. Yeah.

I think we probably did them all at school, really. That's interesting. Yeah, yeah. Mr. Cake is pretty cool. That's a cool name, isn't it? Yeah. And he was a nice man. He should become Dr. Cake.

That's even more fun. Or Professor Cake. Professor Cake. Yeah. Yeah, Dr. Cake sounds evil. Yeah, but that's just because doctor sounds evil. But that's just because of the way that things are going in the earth, huh? What kind of bread we're talking?

I would like some faccia, please. And I'd like it to be warm. Yeah. A crumb of that feccacia? Do you think that would be joy? Would it bring you joy? Excuse me. I'm trying to remember what the poem was about crumbs and joy.

Joy is not made to be a crumb. Yeah, yeah. But what about a crumb of that forcatcher in your dream bread? That's good, actually. That's joy. But that's not enough, is it? It's not enough. It's not enough because, actually,

with a crumb of anything, I think only if you were really hungry and hadn't eaten in a long time and then you were just given, you were only allowed to take your tongue out and put one crumb of facacha on it, then maybe you could feel joy, but. I think maybe if you've eaten all of the faccia, so you're like full, you don't really want anymore, but you notice there's some crumbs. Yeah. Then you're like. But I'm talking one crumb. Yeah, I don't want one crumb too small, absolutely. Yeah. One crumb far too small. Smaller than your teeth. My teeth aren't even that small. My sister's teeth are smaller, and those are like the ones that my mom used to have.

Drink Mr. Cake causes kids crumbs? Oh, that's awesome. I love you said that. Thank you. Your dream starter. Uh-huh. Okay, so I had the good thing about this. Originally, what I thought was I was going to pick one really good samosa, like a really good sort of like,

you can't even believe how much crisp there is on it, but it's not oily at all. Yeah. It's kind of fancy, like real delicious, and it's got that tamarin sauce and a little gazpacho. I'm mixing. Then I thought, then I thought of a pear and gorgonzola ravioli. I thought, that's what I want. Scratch that other stuff I said. Yeah.

And the ravioli I want is I want it to be this sort of, you know, when the top is sort of like a lint sort of chocolate? When is it like a twist? Like a twist. Like a little parcel. I would like them to be the shape of. of the chocolate with the top being sort of crinkled like this. And then there's a bit of pasta at the top, inside pear, inside ravioli. The cream is sort of white.

So it's almost like the shape of like a dumpling, like a soup dumpling sort of shape. But I want some more pasta up at the top. But that's as in the crinkle is pasta. The crinkle is pasta and the top is more pasta. But where is it where is the other pasta? Bottom. Yeah, but there was stuff on the top,

how is that more? Where is that? Because it's sort of like a little flower at the top. Okay, yeah. I think we're saying the same thing. So like the crinkle

and then it's like it goes up and out, bit more pasta. Yeah. Yeah. And then when you cut it, you cut from the top and you got ravioli.

I mean, and you got Gorgonzola. Yeah. Is this something even... You can't have ravioli in the vatiole. You can. That's like your mom

having a two for the two. Yeah, that's what it gets confusing. Is this a dish you've in, No, I've had it. Where did you have it? I had it in a place that's closed down, but it's called Romeo's, and it's in Miami, Florida. Fantastic. And it used to be on Coral Way, and the guy who's, his name is Romeo, he has a wife called Gloria.

They were incredible chef. They would have a really nice sort of little tiny restaurant. And now you can only find him walking on the bridge. He's doing fine. He's doing it for exercise. Can we just, he's doing it for exercise. He doesn't live on the bridge. Uh-uh.

He lives in a home and he's got perfume on when you meet him on the bridge. So don't worry about him. Yeah. He's really special from Ecuador. How often do you see him on the bridge? Well, I don't go to Miami that often anymore, but when I would go pretty much at least one time on the bridge. I'm walking that bridge.

Yeah. With my dad. So he probably thinks that you can be mainly found on the bridge. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not wearing perfume.

So he doesn't have a sense of how. luscious my life is. It's not that luscious anyways, probably. Your teeth are probably better than when he last saw you. Yeah, but actually, no, he's seen me throughout. I would go to him every year on my birthday. So there was a birthday that you went back and he was like, where's the rice teeth gone?

I don't know that he would have even been looking that far into my mouth. How far were your teeth into your mouth? No, no, I mean just in general in the mouth. I don't think he was catching like, his guy's busy. He's cooking at his restaurant. He brings out the plate. He says some stuff about them. He's not checking about what size my teeth.

If I'm running a restaurant, first thing I'm doing is looking in my customer's mouth. Even the truth. You're watching the food all the way. Yeah. I don't think you are looking and then remembering, next time that you come around, you go, these teeth got bigger, I'm sure of it. That's how you run a successful business. He probably had a picture of all of his customers' mouths up in the kitchen.

I don't even think that many people. Well, maybe this is true. Not that many people went to this restaurant. It was very small. So he could have had some sort of sense of who was coming in and what they're Mouth look like. Mouth looks like. Yeah.

And would you get the Pem and Gorgonzola ravioli every time? Honestly, he would change it up. But I did have this thing there and it got seared into my brain. I do think I can make it, maybe. How many bits of ravioli did you get? It's a starter. Four. Four.

In a little line? In a sort of square. Was there a sauce with it? Cream. Maybe a bit of truffle on it. But not aggressive. Really kind of little. a little bit of it

You know it like aggressive truffle? Don't think it's necessary The dogs are doing all that work And all you really need it just a bit So this is fresh truffle found by a dog Yeah Any particular dog? Probably the long ones

One of the long ones I don't think they traditionally find truffles The long ones but I'd like to see it Sort of one I'm talking the long ones But like long and big Not long and small With sort of ears Like that

I don't know name of it, obviously, but it's something like they bark a lot and they look for truffles. So not a sausage dog. Narrowing it down when it comes to dog descriptions. You've got ears and it barks a lot. I never thought that I would be asked about what dog was going to be looking. And I answered as soon as I, my friend has one of them, he gets scared of its own shadow. Right.

And my friend lives in an apartment that's lit like a dentist office because the dog is scared. Mm-hmm. The dream main course. So this one was difficult as well. Yeah. So first I thought maybe I would like to have brisket and cornbread, but then I thought, I'm not going to say that I would like to have beef because I don't actually want to have beef all like in my restaurant if I'm having to serve something to the people. Hold on. Whoa.

Oh. No, this is a good. This is a new angle. Why? So normally. What? Normally. Uh-huh.

People see it as their dream meals. So they're just eating the food and that's it. And they could be in a restaurant. It could be no one else is there. You see it as. running this restaurant. This is your restaurant that you're opening and you're going to be serving everyone this food. Yes. And actually my whole family's cooking in it. Oh, well, we should have, this is fantastic. Well, this is my family's restaurant. My family, each individually has their own

dream. They want to do something else, but they know that this is actually something we're going to be all doing together. Everybody has sacrificed their own time to be at this restaurant. And we're all cooking together. And a different family member brings out the meal. Can I make a request? Mm-hmm. You know in kitchens where like people wear hairnets and stuff? Yeah. Can your mum wear one of those around her mouth so that the teeth don't fall in the food? Yes.

Thank you. Last thing you want, breaking open a pair and gorgonzay. Ravioli and there's a veneer in there. She would be honestly on the lookout if it fell down. She would need it back. So I don't think she would serve it up. So you don't actually have to worry about that. Yeah.

If my mom's toothballs, she's going to be able to tell quickly. She has a tongue. But I think sometimes in the heat of service in a kitchen, Things get pretty hectic, right? No, no, there's only 12 people allowed in this restaurant at a time. So nothing is going too intense. Who's head chef? My dad.

Yeah. But actually, maybe my mom. They maybe switch it up. Yeah. Maybe we all are head chef for a bit. I don't think that will work. I think it works. Yeah, we don't know your family dynamics, I guess.

You don't know my family. Yeah, but you know how a kitchen should be structured. So. Yeah, but it switches around. So every week, new head chef. No, that won't work. It's a new family member. Is it a new menu?

Is it whoever is the headshed? Same menu. Same menu. Okay. So you come up with a menu. No, the whole family has come up with this together. It feels like you're coming up with it. Is it?

Well, this is all stuff my family loves. Okay. Okay, so this is, so the ravioli is a big hit with your whole family. Fine. My dad doesn't want to eat that. We got you. Yes, fine. My dad is gluten-free, dairy-free.

My dad pretty much eats seeds and nuts. But he also eats beef. Yeah. And maybe also he eats fish. But you don't want to serve beef in the restaurant. No. You're very clear about that. Yeah.

I'm not going to serve that. What's the name of the restaurant that your family are running? Ricote. Nice. How did you come up with that? It's Ricote Ribeiro. It's both my mom and my dad's last name. My mom kept her last name.

And it translates as... Ricote actually means really delicious. Does it? Yeah. I wanted it to mean rice something, like rice teeth. That would have been lovely, but people would have been. But people wouldn't understand that unless they listen to this specific episode. That's not a story I'm telling.

Yeah, that's fair enough. I kind of did drop it quite early in this, but that's not something I'm telling people very often. Really delicious is great, though. That's your surname is really delicious. My surname is that. Rico is delicious. Ricote is like real. Oh, what ricote.

Great. Perfect name for a restaurant. Yeah, but then we also have to add my mom's last name in there. And so now it's just kind of confused. Like ricote and then Ribeiro is just nothing. What does your mom's surname mean? It doesn't actually mean something I don't think. You know who else's surname means really delicious?

Who? Mr. Cake. In a way, absolutely. And you know who else's surname means really delicious? Mr. Horny. Yeah, Mr. Horny. My surname means near a castle. Really?

A castor. Near a castle. In what language? Anglo-Saxons. I don't know. Old. The old language. Pretty boring. What about yours?

I think we know. I don't actually, I mean, if, I think, the derivation of it is it's actually from Campbell and they changed it to gamble. Hmm, why? So I don't think it's like some guy who loves poker. You know that I actually on my way over here was thinking about gambling, because I saw a guy come out of a gambling little place like potty, whatever the hell, one of those, and then he came out and then he vaped.

And I was like, this guy, he has to be getting a grip on his life. Doing a lot of bad stuff one at a time. Pick one. Yeah, you can't come out the gambling place and vape. And then I thought, my grandma gambled like crazy. Yeah. She loved to gamble. She would do the slot machine for hours and hours my grandma.

And she would smoke Marlboro Reds and she would drink big leaders of Coke. And I was like, that's so crazy that I come from that. Like, that's like sort of like aggressive, addictive, like blatant sort of, hey, ladies, something's up, you know? Obviously, if everything's like that in your life, you've got no problem spending many hours in front of the slot machine. That's not a temptation you ever have to hit the slots. The slot machine. I'm not feeling anything about that. I think boring, strange, and not interesting.

What about the slot machines with, like, video on them, and, like, they're all themed, and you have to hit the different buttons? While you were talking, I zoned out. Well, that happens a lot. No, not yet. That was my first time in this podcast. Congratulations, bad luck, head. Yeah.

I don't care about gambling in that regard. No. Maybe I would care about gambling a bit where, like, you come up with a scenario and, like, you put some money down and see if, like, that will happen, and then you try, you wait and see if it happens or, like... Like, in guys and dolls? It's a musical, James. That's a musical. But, like, those are they, like, bet that, like, he can get this date with that lady. Right.

But is it weird and, like, misogynist? Oh, yeah. Right. So maybe not that specific way, but maybe something more like, like, um, maybe something more like, um, maybe something more like, like, um, maybe something more like, like, like, if you, yeah, yeah, something like that, but not specifically about, like, getting a girl. Or like in, what's it, never been kissed, where, like, he bets that he can, like,

get this girl look fit for the prom. Okay. Like that. Why are all your bets misogynist? No, they're not. They're just about the girl, getting the girl fit. That's what you're interested in. That's okay.

Yeah, yeah. I think it's good if you're straight up about it. It's betting on life. It's gambling on life. Yeah, it's gambling on life. It's sort of, you're, um, it's straight up. like, do you think that the dog can run faster than the other one? But that's not their job.

It's not the dog's job. Oh, okay. So you like the idea of dog racing, but it's like accident. It's sort of organic dog racing. Don't make it their job. Yeah. So it's not their job. It's not their job.

But they don't know it's their job. They do know it's their job. They don't know it's their job. They're just chasing that rabbit. But that's the only thing they do. Still don't know your main course, actually. Right. My main course is, I actually think this is very nice,

what I'm about to say. Yeah, I would hope so. It's fennel. Okay, you got, no, no. You haven't actually even tried this. I have an idea for this podcast as well, which is that you send in the thing before, and then you have volunteer chef from all the universities, and they are cooking the whole time.

And then while we do the podcast, and then we all get to eat together. The chef from the university as well. Okay. I mean, obviously, people in the past have suggested that we actually eat the food. Well, did it have been chef from the university? No one suggested chefs from university. This is making it cheap and also it gives the chef from the university a potential chance to be able to move forward with their dream. Yeah.

So it visibilizes them and also their food. And maybe they have to put a little sign with their name on it on every meal. And so we keep saying their name while we eat. This one, I'm eating from John Carlo and very nice John Carlo. The type of stuff. Where would they cook? In the kitchen. I'm not sure we've got the set up for university chefs.

This is very small here, by the way, you guys. It's a small room. Yeah, but maybe you could have a kitchen somewhere. The problem is you've said a word there that really triggered James. Really? And that was fennel. Yeah, but you don't understand about how I want this. I'm coming around to fennel more.

Whoa, this is big news. Yeah, yeah. Like, if it's done well and it's like quite thin, and just like adding a little something to the dish, I quite like it. If it's the main thing in the dish. Hold on then. Because it's not the main thing,

but it is like, it's slight, it's not that thin. It's maybe, what's this in, millimeter? From this distance, it looks like nearly a centimeter.

I can't really tell. Yeah, something like a centimeter. And then you slice them up, you're caramelizing this. See? You're letting it sort of sweat in there, in butter.

You're leaving it after. So you're leaving it kind of like a, bed of it. You're putting sea bass on top. Hold on. You're putting some more butter, salt, pepper, some spices. All right. We're talking this spice mix that's in my family. That time. This is your family spice mix. Rosemary. Sage. It's all sort of mixed up. Yeah. Good. And then you just put a little bit of that. And then you put pepper. And then you cut. it and you let it steam in there.

Yeah. Then the bottom of the phenol is actually getting quite, like, almost grilledy. Uh-huh. Really nice. Really caramelized. Really caramelized. And then also, like, it's almost brown. It's almost brown.

Yeah. But not in a bad way. And then you turn it flop. The whole thing. Flop, the whole thing. So phenol's on top now. Fenil is on top now. What's left on there is some juice stuff.

In there you're putting butter, you're putting a white wine, you're putting capers, you're putting a little bit of flour, and you're making a little sauce with that. That goes on top with some lemon. My God, this is delicious. Is this something you cook at home? I'm cooking that. Yeah. I mean, do you genuinely cook it? I know you're cooking it in the restaurant.

I'm cooking it in the restaurant. But also, like, in your life, have you? Have you cooked this? Personally, I have not cooked. It has someone else cooked it for you. My father has cooked it many times. Okay, fantastic. My sister has also cooked it.

I've been in the kitchen. I wouldn't say that I was doing the cooking at that moment. But I know what's going on and I can do this quite simply as well. Older sister? Younger. She's a clown. So she's doing clowning? Mm-hmm. Like a clown course.

Like a cheese like... Did you do that as well? Why? I thought you came from that background. I didn't. No? No. No, I didn't.

But I did. I did do some... Improv? Yeah, but I did do some courses in clowning. Yeah, for sure, I have done. But I didn't do the school. I didn't do the school. No, but you've done clowning.

I've done workshop. It's part of your skill set. Thank you. Yeah. I've done workshop, for sure. I believe in them. Yeah. I believe in the clowns, for sure.

For sure. I think they're sensitive, open, willing to change. For me, two thumbs up. All of them? Well, the good ones. Yeah. The other ones, evil. Yeah.

There's always, every industry has it. You know, clowns. is no difference, not immune to it. I know, but it's sometimes the most sinister of all when you use something so lovely to do something like nasty. For me, sinister insidious, nasty depraved. Is the big, for me, the bigger kind of like red flag with clowns are the... Knob out.

Yeah, the male clowns get their knob out. Yeah, well, if... And the earlier that happens in their act, the more it's a red flag for me. Yeah, I think that makes sense. I think there's like when it feels like it wasn't at all aggressive, it's amazing. That's an incredible feat. Like the way the society is and you're able to do that and none of us are feeling freaked out, I'm going slow applause, absolutely.

But if you're doing it in a way you're not even checking. Slow applause is the last thing I'd want if I did that. Yeah, if I'm standing on stage, all vulnerable. I don't want slow applause if I get my knob out on stage. You know what? Slow applause. Everyone's going, my God. No, but also slow claps out.

Like, really special. Everyone. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To me, I mean entirely like, hey, an incredible feat, which is what I said earlier. So that's what I think about the clown stuff. My sister's clown.

She's real funny clown. Yeah? Yeah, and she's a really good cook. She'll spend maybe six hours on making meatballs or something. Wow. I can't be bothered that long. She'll make them very small. Every time you bite, you have a meatball in your mouth.

That's funny. That's a way to make a funny meal. Does she make them small because everyone in your family's got quite small teeth? Thank you for asking that. No. You know that my older sister and my dad do not have small teeth. Ah, okay. So it's just...

Me, my mom and my sister. Yeah, well, you're not your mom anymore, of course. Exactly. Your mom's now like, give me those big meatballs. Yeah. She actually shouldn't have them too big because everything gets quite dangerous. She does have them small. But my sister makes them small for me.

It's just like a way to have them. have a bit of like an intentional relationship to the meatball. It's my meatball. Not anyone's meatball. This is my meatball. I mean, a tiny meatball. Oh, so she makes them specifically small for you? For fun.

Yeah. But sort of like this. I don't get how that's fun. Three centimeters. What do you say? I don't get how it's fun. It's fun, obviously, if you have to have something that's different is a little bit fun. If it's different, it's a little bit fun.

I see. That is fun. It's fun because it's not like always. Yes. wait a minute, this meatball's small. And then you're cracking up. Potentially, potentially. I also think small meatballs,

if there's more, you get more surface area across all the meatballs and then you get all the nice sort of like brownie, crusty, caramelized bits. I think small meatballs all day long. That sounds nice. Yeah. Me as well, actually. Better than one big meat bowl.

Never one big meat loaf. That's meatloaf. Yeah, or that thing where they wrap the meatloaf? What in? pastry Oh, beef Wellington But that's not meatloaf, that's just beef That is just beef

Yeah, it's a cut of beef And you lived in Amsterdam for a while, right? Thank you That's the best beef Wellington I've ever had In Amsterdam Ron Gastrobar in Amsterdam I went there Yeah

Did you have the beef Wellington? You missed out Get this, James loves Ron Gastrobar and loves the beef Wellington We talked about it on this podcast a lot Then we had a discussion With one of our guests About imagine if they did a Wagyu beef

Beef Wellington and then I went to Amsterdam. I went to Rangastro Bar, and they made me my own Wagyu Beef Wellington. And I'd never even been there before. I'd never talked about it, and James didn't get that. Wow.

And he went with his tour manager, Paul, and they definitely thought Paul was me. Yeah. And Paul got loads of freebies. They're like, thank you so much for mentioning us so many times of your podcast. Wow. Paul, that's a nice day for Paul. Paul deserves it.

Paul deserves the world. Yeah. Oh, well, that's about really, special. I sort of meant to say special and some noise came out. That's nice. Thank you Ron Gastrobar. Thank you so much. Your dream side dish.

Okay, so I'm going. They're potatoes and they're small. They've been boiled. They are now going in a sort of air fire or broil and they've had butter on them after they've been boiled. And so they're quite crispy on the outside. They got salt. They also have some of my family's

spices, but they go next to this fennel dish and they are. Can you run us through the spices again? Your family spices. Sage. This is an ASMR episode. Which I love. James loves ASMR.

Do you? You get that. Love it. He's highly sensitive individual. Love it so much. I was watching one this morning. What kind? Yeah, I got up.

I was like, I'm not ready to get out of bed yet. So I listen to this guy, Dimitri. What's he up to? He does a lot of hand movements, but a lot of like, hush talking. You have to watch it. You do have, well, you don't have to watch it. I was just listening to it, but you can just watch it. Without listening.

It still gives you ASMR. Yeah, because the way he's talking is the 360 stuff is very relaxing. But you have to listen. You can't just watch. You can just watch. Actually, the top comment on his video today was someone saying, reads the comments. I always read the comments.

The only guy reading the ASMR comments. Someone said, Dmitri. I love the comment. Yeah. They said, Dimitri, I want you to know you are so loved in the death. community because we love your hand movements still give us ASMR tingles. Wow. Which not a lot of ASM artists achieve.

That was number one comment today. That's incredibly interesting. And he's been going a long time, this guy. The deaf community can have ASMR as well. Yeah, from the hand movements. I don't understand that at all. Wow, imagine. Have you ever seen Dimitri though?

Uh-uh. The guy's clearly a magician. I will maybe check that out though, because I'm hard of hearing and I can't even for one so I can understand the ASMR stuff at all. There you go, apparently. Just the hand movements on their own. And there's loads of different things that are just visual in the ASMR. James likes ASMR because it gives him the horn.

I do not get the horn. I'm not Mr. Horny. It's all right to get the horn. It's all right. I'm not getting the horn. But I'm not to ASMR videos. And it's a bit weird that you watch it before you come and record. I wasn't prepping for this.

I didn't want to get out of bed straight away. I would just relax in the morning. I'm off to go and do off menu. I better get the horn. No, I'm not trying to get the horn before coming here. Yeah, the horn. Oh, great. Okay, that's it.

Everyone's scared because we got the horn. No one's safe. Oh. When you brought up ASMR, what did you think was going to happen? Yeah, what did you think was going to happen when you brought up ASMR? Yes, sorry, it's my fault. I do read the comments always. It feels like a really good opportunity to connect with the global.

community. Yeah. And everybody is so funny in the comment. I love the comments on Instagram. Kind of I enjoy it more than the videos themselves sometimes. The top ones are always good. God, they're fun. People are cracking me up.

If you scroll down too far, it's just... Nasty stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He scrolls down. No, not always. Gives him the horn. Sometimes, I get the horn from the comments. You can get the horn from the comments.

Yeah. You get the horn from these crispy potatoes Let's go back to that Wow, they're nice these crispy potatoes Yes It's not even something I'm eternally interested in But I do think they pair really well with my sea bass Yeah

Does sound like a nice Combination And I'd have made a sort of Italian style Sort of because I did think of that as well If I put this beef brisket and cornbread Or my other option was Confit canard We. Is that a duck?

Uh-huh. With some mashed potato. Yeah. That would have been a good choice as well. I know. Don't I know it? But this sea bass sounds lovely. The only thing I'm worried about is it crispy skin on the seabass? I would want that. But then the flop?

There's no crispy skin. Then the crispy skin's gone, hasn't it? It's not going to be there. Because of the flop. Maybe I can put the... So my family has been workshopping and for our restaurant. Maybe when we don't do the flop, we take it off, we do the flop. Yeah.

But we take off the fish. We do the flop of the phenol. Yeah. So that the top is brown. We make that sauce. Then we add the sea bream really fast after we take the sauce off. Yeah. More butter.

Bream on top. So you got crispy. Sorry, I keep saying bream. I mean bath. What's the difference between a bass and a brink? Can't tell. Bass is a classic. Bass is good stuff.

I love bass. We get it from Costco. Is it called something different in America? Costco. No, Seabass. Seabass. Is it Branzino in America? Or am I getting mixed up?

No, I have no idea about that. Look it up, Ben. Hey, Ben, can you please? I think you are right. Yeah, I think... Branzino. That's right, yeah. Yeah, the Italian name for European Seabas is Branzino.

So then we can sort of put a twist on our restaurant. Yeah, I think so. Where is this restaurant, by the way, in the world? Virtual. I mean, not virtual. Huh? Didn't say that. Difficult, actually.

My family lives everywhere. We'd all have to, somebody would have to give up. Maybe it's in London. Is there a place where all your family just like really feels extra bonded, extra like this is our place? I guess it's Miami. Miami.

Welcome to Miami. Do you like that song? Do you like to listen to the Will Smith song, Miami? People are definitely singing that to me. All the time? I don't know if I've ever listened to it. Do those lyrics make you cry? Welcome to Miami.

That's all I know. Biennita. Biennita. Yeah. I haven't listened. I haven't listened. I don't think it would ever make me cry that song. Miami is difficult for me.

And someone sung it at karaoke. Don't miss it. Don't miss it. It's hard for me to want to relate to that place with loving eyes. I'm trying. It's difficult because it's like that. But there are a lot Latin American people. There are like that part.

But then everything else. Yeah. Stinks. Stings. Yeah. I think this restaurant is. can be outside of space and time, so it doesn't need to be a fixed location. I think it does have to travel. I think maybe every week, when we have a new chef, we go to a new

location. Nice. My family is on the run. Oh, wow. For the restaurant. Oh, just for the, they're not literally on the run now. They didn't do a crime. That's why your mom's changed her teeth because she's on the run. So if you change your teeth, you can't get caught. I guess there's like, it's like a bit of a disguise, isn't it? Yeah, it is a bit of a disguise. Because the witnesses would be like, I'm pretty sure when they commit the crime, they could shut their mouth. Yeah, it's first thing you said. You can describe the assailant.

They had a closed mouth. They had a closed mouth. Yeah, no, you can definitely tell us it was shiny. These teeth, they glistle. Is that a word? Your dream drink. Okay, honestly, everybody's going to say, no about this, but I think that it should be gaspacho. I don't care.

I don't care. I think it's right. It's one of those sneezes as well. I have to hold in my nose and it. My brain imploded. You shouldn't do that. Why? Because it can give you neuroses.

Too late. Oh, it feels good. I love it, though. I love sneezing. I love doing it when you hold it in. If you could only sneeze or yawn? Which one? I can do both.

No, you can only do one in this scenario. Oh, at the same time? No. No. You can do one forever. So you can even not your own or not. Would you rather? I'd rather sneeze.

Sneeze. think I'd rather sneeze. But yawning is so nice. It is good, but I enjoy. You don't enjoy it? You don't enjoy it? No, I don't really get much of it. Sneasing's so good.

You can develop a style with sneezing. If you've got, like, loads in a row, you can, like, change up how you do it. I think about my grandma, she would sneeze upward to 14 times. In a row. Yeah. I mean, not in her life. You don't mean she'd sneeze upward. Oh, no, I think she's knee normal style.

She's out of the top of her head like a whale. Yeah. No, but just a lot, like back and back and back. Yeah, yeah. We couldn't even believe it was still going on. This is cracking my family up. It's rare to hear even more than three in a row. I know.

So 14. My mom will go seven or so. Wow. Yeah, but it's kind of gotten less and less. I'm doing three. I'm worried about your mom sneezing and you know why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously.

But actually what you're not considering is that they're not loose in there. They are only responding to being kind of smacked around by something that she put in her mouth. Shouldn't be putting in anything hard. She already knows that. All going to leave that alone. Got it. So your dream drink is gazpatch. I don't care about my mom.

We're not the ones who said. It's not our fault. You said that. Yes, it is your fault. Cut it out. Cut this out of the video. So sorry. Make sure this gets cut.

Yeah. Cut this out. Cut this part as well. Is your mom likely to listen to this? No. Who cares? Why not? Don't think she's interested.

She doesn't want to listen to you on a podcast? Right. Not really. Not really. They'll watch my show. Yeah. They'll watch my shows and they'll watch my shows live for sure. But podcast, my mom kind of thinks she doesn't speak English.

She does, but she has a relationship to herself that she doesn't. Okay, interesting. She wouldn't listen to a podcast in English. Okay. Yeah. Because she's convinced she wouldn't understand it. Yeah, she just thinks like, I can't. No subtitles.

I don't know what they're. saying. Okay. But then if you ask her to speak with a British accent, she'll say a word like, this is exceptional. You can't even believe she said exceptional. Wow. She can't even believe she said it, but it's only because she's doing British.

Isn't that sweet? It's really nice. We only found out about that recently. Her British character knows loads of, loads of vocabulary. Robose. Yeah. Eloquent. So Gaspacho is like seen as food, I think, more than drinks.

This is interesting. Yeah, but you didn't ask for soup. And I think Gaspacho should be part of it. for sure in my breath. Because you considered it for your starters. Yeah. But you're going to put it in the drink. I'm going to put it in the drink. Yeah. I only serve one drink. It's gazpacho and water sparkling. So what kind of gazpacho are we talking? Delicious kind. Yeah. Definitely with tomatoes. It probably has a garlic in there. Olive oil, really good kind. Yeah. Drizzled on top after. Mm-hmm. It's in a cup. Are you putting ice in it? Sorry, it's in a glass.

What sort of glass? Square and sort of, um, Just as long as it is a little bit longer than it is wide. Yeah. You can imagine that? A bit more than you are imagining now. Longer than it is wide. It's getting longer. Yeah.

Yeah, great. So it's actually quite a lot longer than it is wide. A little bit longer than I said earlier. So... How wide is it? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So it's probably wide regular, like you think.

Like a glass usually. Probably. It is like five inches long and three inches wide. It's a normal glass. Yes. Very normal glass. In that, I will be serving my gazpacho. Yes. And it's tomato garlic, got some olive oil on there. I never made this before, but I have had some delicious ones. Oh, yeah.

Gaspaccio is great. Wow, it's delicious. I always thought that nasty soup should be warm. warm. Then I thought, oh my God, can I be less rigid in this life? Yeah. Whenever I have gazpacho, I do think, why am I not having this every day? Me too. I actually have one unopened in my fridge right now. I love that they sell it in cartons, like orange juice cartons. Me too. I only found out about that recently because I found out the gazpacho delicious.

So you're on a real gazpacho sort of obsession at the moment. Yeah. I haven't opened that one. It's been in my fridge for a month. So I have a dream to be on this sort of kick, but I haven't been home a lot. So not yet, but I'm about to be, I'm supposing. Why are you supposing? Because I have one in my fridge and I'm really excited about it. Yeah, yeah. So that's why you're going home.

You'd just spend more time at home because there's gazpacho there. I'm actually going on vacation right now. So I'm not going to eat it probably. Maybe I'll take it now that we're talking about it. I think if you don't eat it before you go away. I wouldn't eat it when you get back. It sounds like... It's closed.

It's been there for a month already. But it's closed. It's like completely closed in a pack of. like kind of like an oat milk thing. Yeah, but I wouldn't eat oat milk after two months in a package. If it's clothed. Well, do you read the dates on things? Yes, sometimes.

If it's something like gazpacho, I'm not freaked out. That's not even has a little bit of egg. No, it's not an egg, I guess. I don't know. I still would. Okay, I'll give it a check, guys. Don't worry about it. What kind is it?

What kind of a... It's in a carton. Yeah, I mean, what flavor. I can imagine the one it is. It had tomato, for sure. They normally have some maybe celery in them as well. Pepino, what's it called? Cucumber. Peppino.

Lovely. It has cucumber in it. I checked that. Because I was interested. I'm going to how is it so delicious this stuff? It's just tomato. But tomato is quite delicious. It is good.

With olive oil and salt. Yeah. Are you putting ice in your gazpaccio? Some people put ice in their gazpacho. No, I don't think so. Because then it makes it watery. I'm not interested. Correct.

Unless you drink it really fast. But also, I don't think you should be pressured with food. Where are you going on holiday? To the woods. The woods. So in the UK, I'm just going to the woods. I'm going to a cabin that I found on Airbnb. Okay. The new forest?

Could be, yeah. I looked at the forest area that wasn't too far away, and I clicked on one, and I picked one, and I think it looked good. Just you? No, with the guy who I think is my husband. You think. It's a feeling I'm having. You think you are going to end up getting married to this man? Yes.

You're in a relationship now? Yes. That's a good start. Thank you. We'll speak about it for a bit, tell me about him. He's nice. He's a clown. Oh. Stop it.

Is he a pants-on clown? He's pants-on. There you go. He's also, he's got a sensitive heart, this guy. Yeah. He's got a good heart. I trust his heart. Yeah, that's good.

You've got to trust his heart. You literally do have to. That is very important. This is my private life, by the way, so maybe I'm not saying any more stuff. That's fine. Guys, you're, you're nosy, you're nosy. Creeping into my privacy. We arrive at your dream dessert.

Finally. First thing I thought, tart at a ton. Then I thought, well, yes, that's delicious, sure. And I can probably make a delicious one. But what about if I make something so thick? You can't even want more than too much of it. What? I didn't know where I was going with that.

I didn't know. I would like that on a teetow. I want t-shirts of that. You can't even remember what exactly it was. You know those live-loff love signs. You can't even want too much of it. You know the live, laugh, love things that people have up in their house? I want that.

I would just want that. Well, this is what I said, but it wasn't exactly what I wanted to say. I wanted to say more like, it's thick, and you want a couple of bites. You're sharing it with your loved one. You only get one of these. So you're saying that you're something so thick that you can't even want too much of it, is what you mean. That's what I mean, actually. I guess it was what I meant.

It's a cake that my aunt makes. and not cake. It's made, like, Torta. I don't know what this. Like, my aunt makes it. She's real good cook. She's so good. But also she served it.

She goes, this is shit. Everybody's going to hate this shit. And then it's like the most delicious thing you ever had. Is she working in the restaurant, by the way? Honestly, she works at the restaurant as well. And she can be head chef for two weeks at a time. We love her. I would love to go to a restaurant.

The head chef comes out and goes, this is shit. I would really, I'd really connect with that. I don't think that we should let her talk to the people because she's going to be saying that. much. Yeah. She's always saying, like, it's dry and probably crunchy in a way you won't want it to be. It's obviously crunchy in a really good way. But I do that to people when I cook for them.

What's that about? Because I'm always worried it's bad. I've cooked for you before. Yeah, he says it's going to be. He made polenta for the first time. Palenta's delicious. It never made it. It was absolutely brilliant.

He says they're going, sorry about that fucking stupid. What was it about it that you made bad? Just because it was the first time. I think it was the first time so I didn't know if I'd done it right. He didn't believe it could have been good. He was like that. Did you make it crispy on the sides? No, no, no, it was wet.

It was wet polenta. I like that. I had that yesterday. You just put a load of butter and cheese and it's pretty good, isn't it? Delicious. God, it's one of the most incredible sides, actually. I like it crispy too. I like it crispy too.

Crispy's really good. Crispy's really good. And it becomes simple. Simple to make that crispy. Simple to make it anyway. It says cook at 30 minutes. You only need to cook at 5. Yeah.

Because that's not even raw. It's just corn. Yeah. It's quite crunchy at five, isn't it? But with five minutes. Still don't understand what this dessert is. Right, because I didn't say anything about it yet. Yes.

So it's so thick. It's so thick. The bottom is Maria cookies. You know those like, they're kind of a biscuit. No? They're like a milk biscuit, I guess. Oh, okay. That you put it inside almond milk.

Or oat milk, don't care. Or dairy milk. milk, honestly, up to you. You make it, you wet it. Yeah. And then you put a bunch of them in the bottom of a pan of sorts. The one that you would like to have your cake inside of. Yeah.

Then you put that all down, and then on top of that, you're going to put four egg yolks, not on top of that directly. You're doing that on the side. Four egg yolks. And then you're going to put butter in the egg yolks. And then you're going to zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. Then you are going to grab chocolate. Banu Maria, what is that called?

Maria. bath. Yeah. So you melt a bunch of really dark chocolate. You put condensed milk inside that chocolate. Zoom, zoom, zoom.

You put the A inside the chocolate. Can I check the jim-jim? Yep. Is that just a manual whisk or is that an electric whisk? I'm thinking it's electric because of the way I'm

the jim-jim. Yeah, yeah. I heard that as like a man's name called a manual whisk. Hey. A manual whisk. Yeah. Like you heard Fiesta Day

when I said it. I thought you genuinely said is that Emmanuel Whisk. Emmanuel whisk arrived on fiesta day. Yeah. Wouldn't he? That's his favorite day.

Emmanuel whisk. No. No. Electric whisk. Zim, jim. Zim, zoom, zoom. It could be manual, though.

But you do want this to be quite put together. You don't want to feel any sort of egg yolk stuff in there. So I'm going electric. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. It gets really nice. Then you're toasting some almonds on the side, okay? Not too much. You want them toasted.

You don't want them. burnt. Then you're putting on top of the little cookies, you're putting a layer of this stuff, you're putting in the almonds on top. You're putting a layer of the cookies again, a layer of the chocolate, a layer of the almond. You're putting upwards of four layers of this type of stuff.

And then you put it in the fridge. And then you serve it. It sounds delicious. It does sound very nice. It is very nice. Yeah. It's intense. Very rich. Very rich. Thick. Delicious.

And you maybe don't, you feel like all my dishes were a bit elegant. And you might be thinking, and this isn't really elegant. But I think that you have to remember, this is a restaurant by a family. Yeah, yeah. We love the chocolate cake. It's been in our family for at least 10, 15 years. What's it called? Does it just call it chocolate cake?

It's actually Torta de Gala, which is my older sister, would get this on her birthday all the time. Then now we ask for it because it's like, this is really good while I only reserved for her. You're not speaking about her with the same affection You spoke about your younger sister I love her I love her She's really special to me But she does live far away

And I have a lot of affection for her She lives in Los Angeles We're close Not a clown Photographer Boney girl Creative family Very creative family

Thank you for saying I think all families Are probably creative But no they're not even allowed That's the true What do your parents do? Creative stuff. Yeah?

My mom's actress. My dad's photographer. So then that's fine. That was an electric camera, right? And there's the three of you? Then there's the three of us. So everyone's doing creative stuff. Wow.

That's pretty cool. I mean, we were allowed. You were encouraged. We were encouraged. Yeah. My dad said, you could go to university. That's a bad idea. I said, I'm going to study.

And I'm going to be a political scientist. And then I did do that, but then I ended up doing stand-up anyways. That's pretty cool. Did you feel a bit gutted when you started doing stamp? You're like, oh, no, no, turns out, I'm creative. Well, everybody's creative. That's not true. Yes, it is. Of course it's true.

No way. Oh, my God. Ben, of course you're creative. Of course you're creative. Ben, I bet you're creative. You just hasn't been allowed. You make him sit over there. Can I read your menu back to you and Elsie?

Yes. You would like sparkling water? You'd like warm for ketchup bread. You want a pair and gorgonzola ravioli from Romeo's in Miami? Could be. Main course, steamed sea bass with family spice mix, caramelized, fennel, capers and lemon. Side dish, small, crispy potatoes with the family spice mix again. Yes.

Drink, gazpacho. Dessert, your aunt's chocolate, Maria cookie, and almond tort. How do you feel about that? I think this could be really interesting. I do think my family will probably change it month per month. I would eat that delicious especially eat that dessert

Yeah But all of it I would eat I'd be worried The only thing I'd be worried about Is eating dessert Really enjoying it Then reaching for my drink And it's gazpatchia

Right because I'm not going to give you alcohol Ed Gamble I don't want alcohol I'm not going to give you it I'm not interested in making everybody drunk at my restaurant That's not why I was saying it

I was worried about You don't want gazpacho because you want alcohol No I don't want I don't want on gazpacho with torture. You have it already. You know what's coming.

You know you're getting dessert. You know you've had a gazpacho with here. You do have a bit of a clue about the relationship you're going to be having in the next meal between your drink and the new sort of dessert which you're ordering. You go, I think that my family would say, okay, dessert's coming. Probably time to finish your gazpacho. I think that would be kind of mandatory. Yeah. And then people could say, hey, I'll finish my gazpacho on my own.

time. He's saying, hey, I'm sorry. We shouldn't have said that. That could happen as well. Yeah. And I wasn't saying because I want an alcohol. Yeah, yeah, okay. Oh. Well, I'll approve that to the court. Didn't sound like you were saying you didn't want alcohol. I'll be going out after this meal. Yeah. Too thick. You probably need to go home. Because of the dessert is too thick. And I didn't want too much of it. You might have had a lot because it's so delicious. Yeah, that's the problem with some things that are too thick. I know. I think you're going to be disappointed with how few people, like, comment on the thickness of the dessert.

I think that they'll be loving it, but I don't think a lot of them are going to be going, this is... They'll say it's rich. They'll say rich. But I don't think, I've never really seen somebody eat a dessert and say, this is thick. Maybe that's just in the description to make sure it gets out there. Thick cake. Thick. He wasn't, actually.

Fantastic teacher. Very nice. Thick with two seas. But didn't you say before? Of course, you two. But they're just on the curriculum, isn't it? Right. Oh, isn't that tough?

You know, I'm just studying the same John Dunn poem over and over again. Who? John Dunn. I don't know that person. Look him up. Look up the flea by John Dunn. The flea? Yeah.

Okay, I'm interested. Yeah. For me, that's a perfect name for a poem. Yeah. The flea is a good name for a dog as well. With the the. With what you find out about the flea is you think it's a poem about a flea, but it turns out it's about different stuff.

What type of stuff? There's sort of a sexual element to it, I think. The flea has two people's... Don't get horned up. Only if he whispers it, and it moves his hand to the certain way. I seem to remember there was a sexual element to it, but I was young. There was a sexual element to everything, you know?

And not anymore, huh? Not anymore. Now it's just fleas. Isn't it? That's a new thing, a British thing I'm putting in now. Isn't it? Yeah. Started saying that. Yeah.

Isn't it? Well, it's been nice seeing you. It hasn't been nice having to chat. Thank you. Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you very much for having me in every which way. Well, there we are, James. What a wonderful episode.

Wow. Love to that. What a journey. What a journey. Learned so much. Yeah. About Lara, her tasting food, a family. Yeah.

Her mom's teeth. Her mom's teeth. Didn't say ricotta. No. Could have been in the drink in the end. Could have been, yeah. It was gazepatchewat in the end. Could have been anywhere in the meal.

But it wasn't, which I'm very happy about, because it was nice to hear Lara's whole meal. Yes. So everyone should watch Break Clause, which is on Channel 4 now, every episode. Every episode's available on Channel 4. Stream it on Channel 4. Great cast.

Great show. Go watch it. Absolutely. I'm on tour next year. Fresh Hell, Edgamble.combe. For tickets, especially these four shows at the London Pladeum, if you're London-based or fancy a trip to London, atgamble.com.com.com.

Subscribe to at Craig Simons Live on YouTube for free. Exciting stuff coming on at Craig Simons' at the minute has two videos on there. One is him backstage warming up with a Leufer Van Dros tribute act called Dayton Grey, and one is him introducing a Dana Ross tribute act called Gloria Miller onto stage. Both of those videos, not have.

have any views, really, to speak of. They've been up there for a while, but there's not many views of them, because no one knows about the channel. He's not been able to promote it. No, for Craig Simons. I'll be subscribing as soon as I finish this. It sounds absolutely amazables. Yeah, great stuff coming to at Craig Simons Live.

Thank you very much for listening to Off Menu. We will see you next time with another fantastic guest and more cheeky chat from the boys. Yum Yum Yum! Yum!