Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Phil Wang (Tasting Menu)

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

Fan favourite from the very first series of Off Menu, Phil Wang returns to the Dream Restaurant for a Tasting Menu booking. We hope he likes buttery cabbage. Phil Wang is on tour with his new show ‘Uh Oh’. For dates and tickets go to philwang.co.uk Follow Phil on Instagram @wangpix Watch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube on Thu 14 May.Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcastFollow Off Menu on Instagram and TikTok: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster.Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Video production by Ben Williams and Megan McCarthy for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm on tour. I'm on tour until August. And there were still tickets available at James Acaster.com. I'm looking at you, Glasgow, Belfast. Oh, there was somewhere else. Just please go on the website to buy tickets, please, Jamesacaster.com. Welcome to the off-menu tasting menu. La-de-da. A new concept from the off-menu industries. Our minds are an endless well of ideas. Yes. This is our second one. Six years.

This is basically our way of getting in some great guests that we've had in the past. Yeah. Fan favourites. We always worried we put too solid a line under guests and said, you've done it once, you're not coming back in. So many podcasts. Oh, third idea. Redemption Dinner Party. We did a Redemption Dinner Party.

So just so you know, we've had three ideas. Yes, in six years. And one of them was during COVID, just doing it on streaming, the Redemption Dinner Party. Then we did it sort of live for Christmas. We kind of did it live, yeah. But now this is the third idea. Yes. Is that we get a menu, a dream menu from one of the guests that we've had on before.

And we present it to a different guest who we've had on before as a tasting menu. And get their thoughts on it and whether they'd like it. Yeah. And, you know, you know us. It'll spin off into some wacky chats. We probably won't stay on topic. Like, yeah. All over the place in crazy ways.

It's not we're on drugs. Yeah, bad ones. Well, our guest this week in the tasting menu restaurant, the dream restaurant. Dream restaurant. Is the wonderful? Phil Wang. Phil Wang. You all know Phil Wang.

No, do we even need to introduce Phil Wang as a concept of people? No, everyone knows he's a fantastic comedian. He's an actor as well. He's been done some great acting and stuff. Since we had him on the podcast, which was the first series. Yes. He's been in Wonka. He did a dance in Wonka.

That's like, obviously, I would, you know, that's my, that's my guy. Three body problem? What's Wong in that? Yeah. I haven't watched it yet. He's in it very, you know, he's got one scene on it, but it's a very good scene. I'd love to see that. He's worked on, worked with Amy Schumer and Amy Schoches.

Look, the guy's doing well, what can I say? But we've managed to get him back into the dream restaurant for a tasting menu. Yes, so we're going to present him the tasting menu of Jay Rainer. Jay Rainer, notorious and brilliant food critic, Jay Rainer, who also came on very early in the life of the podcast. He did. We interviewed him in a room that I don't think we've recorded in before or since. It was like some random place.

We went to him. Was it as it publishers? Yeah, I think it was it as publisher's offices. Yeah, the book coming out. Yeah. And look, we're thinking, like, who do we pair with Phil? Like, whose meal should we give him? Yeah.

And we started thinking, like, comedians that are friends with Phil and, like, we can throw their meals at him. and he can like, you have fun picking them apart or get annoyed. Oh, no, I've been given this. But actually, like, he's a sophisticated guy. He is. Phil, you know, we're going to get more out of him. We'll learn more about Phil Wang by presenting him with a food critic's man.

Yes, absolutely. So, like, I think we've made the right decision here. I believe so. I mean, I think we should just get stuck into it. There's no secret ingredients on this? No, we're not going to kick him out. It was hairy-cracking when we had Jay Rainer on, but it's not, you know, if Wang says, by the way.

Could I sprinkle some hairy crackling on that? Yeah, fine, fine. I mean, maybe if he does do that. Yeah, that'd be so quid, I wish he'd cook him out. Phil is also on tour with his new show, uh-oh, and you can go to philwang.com.uk for tickets. I saw some stuff from it recently. It's brilliant. You're going to love it.

He's amazing. Uh-oh. But this is the off-menu tasting menu of Phil Wang. Welcome, Back, Phil Wang to the Dream Restaurant. All my days is so nice to be back. It's been six years. That's mad.

Has it actually? Yeah. Where did that voice come from? I can't remember if, because we write this as the second, uh, put an echo on this, but later. It's the second taste. I might, what, I'm still in the lamp? Yeah.

Yeah. I like Phil. Welcome back. How you doing, buddy? I thought I recognized. I was, yeah. It's good, man. Good to see it, James.

I was just saying dead. Um, it's been, it's, it's, oh, My heel just kept the lowering mechanism on this chair. He actually made the sound of the genie. Phil's got back into the lap. We swapped places. Oh, that would be a cheap trick on a genie, wouldn't it? Rub him to get him out of the lamp and then sneak in there when he's not looking.

Yeah, bad luck. Like a hermit crab, just steaming a shell. Yeah, last time I was here, there was no office, there was no cameras. Yes. There was no mics. We were just shouting. Off from a roof. And wow, this is, yeah, I mean, this is amazing.

It's pretty fancy. Look how far young Benito has come. Incredible. Yeah, he's a man now. He's a man. He's built an empire. Tony Sobrano of Bodcast. That was the first series, I think you did.

Maybe even like... Episode like 16 or 12 or something else. Earlier. 13. Episode 13. Unlucky for some, lucky for us. Lucky for us because we got Phil Webb. Well, lucky in Chinese numbers.

Is it? Yeah. One and three is... Like life, basically, because three sounds like life. Whereas four sounds like deaths, so four is the... Four is the bad one. So one and three together. So lucky, double lucky.

One life. One life. One life. Do you subscribe to that? Yeah, I think it probably is just one life. When I was a very round 10-year-old boy, I had bought a black Nike vest that I wore all the time because I thought it made me look tough. and I worked to a non-uniform day at my school in Brubonio once

and I'm a massive guy and a guy boy and I had a one I took it out as an opportunity to look really cool for non-uniform day and I was planned that's for yeah and I had on my left hand a fingerless leather glove I had the small sunglasses from the Matrix I had shorts because it's hot Yeah.

T-shirt, and then this neck you, sort of fleece vest. Fleece? Yeah, I remember now. It was a fleece vest. And on the back it said, One Life, Live it. Oh, yes. I was so excited about debuting my true self at school. The One Life Lived.

So One Life is something I've always lived by. Did it go well? Can you remember the reception for the outfit? I arrived at school and the first kid that saw me had to collapse to his knees from laughing so much. He just thrust his finger out at me and collapsed to his knees. Oh my God. Poor little Phil.

He remembers that still. He's still laughing. Yeah, he's still laughing. He's still on his knees at the school. Grews up and just sweeping up random and stuff. Gets into watching Taskmaster as an adult. Yeah. Episode one, season, series seven, he's on his knees again.

Yeah. He's just recovering. He's finally stopping and laughing and he turns out of hospital. This guy. He could have worn out if he got on that show. Speaking of Borneo and One Life, James, it was your birthday recently. It was. I brought you a late gift.

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. It's in a little bag. Pop a little bag. Thank you, Phil. A couple of bottles. And look, the gold paper coming out the top looks like a genie exploding out of the love. Yeah, of course.

It does. Thank you for that. My girlfriend's touch. Have a look here. Oh, there's some Sabasco. Sabasco. It's a hot sauce. Yeah. Chili sauce from Borneo and from my home state is called Sabah.

And there's a chili there that only grows in Borneo called I think the Kunak chili and there's a taste of my childhood. And they started bottling it, mass producing it, and they called it Sabasco. That's cool. And then recently they had to change, because obviously... Yeah, I was going to say they... Does it sounds like SEPA Paska? Big Pasco got a cold wind of it.

She's so litigious, we know that. Oh, I love this. And they brought you a bottle as well. There's no, no, no, no, fair enough. Yeah, I got the bow. Thank you so much. I don't know if you're going to try it. It's very unique for a chili sauce.

I'll try some right now. It's quite fruity. Is it? How spicy is it? Are you punking me? It's pretty spicy. It's pretty spicy. It's pretty spicy.

It's pretty spicy. James, the yellow bottle is like a sweet version. Oh, you love sweet. Because you know me. Yeah, of course. It's the ice cream of chili sauce. Well, I'll try the same one that Ed's trying. Yes, please.

Now, we've been punked before by Ladd Bible. Oh, no. This is not a that hot-wings kind of thingy. I don't think this is that bad. It's very fragrant and very floral for it. Is there a spoon for me? Oh, yeah. I just, I put it up here.

Oh, thank you. Sorry, it was under my mic arm. I couldn't see it. Mm. You definitely got a kick to it, but there's still loads of flavor. We all say it's unique? Yeah. I would say it's unique.

That's a Bono chili. Smoky and fruity. I like that a lot. I'd say more than a kick. No, I've led Bibles. I'm such a lad. I've been Wang Bibles. Yeah.

Oh, no, I'm so sorry about being a line. The Wang Bible. Well, that's very nice. You like it. That's really nice. Any like an Asian dish, a little stir fry with rice or whatever, anything with rice. But a little on the side and just a little dips, little dips. I'm putting that bad boy on eggs.

Yeah, that would be good on eggs. That spreads across the tongue quite a nice pace. Now, we should probably tell you what this new format is. Yeah, we've got a new format. It's not as I'm eating hot sauce. No, it's nice to have an excuse just to get friends back in and fan favourites. Yeah, yeah. You're both, buddy.

Which one am I? Oh, nice. You're both. Yes. You're the two-fer. And this is the off-menu tasting menu. That's so good. Where we take a previous guest's dream meal that's not you. Okay.

And this is what you're getting in the dream. restaurant today. Great. I have no choice. This is the omicasse. This is the omicasse. And you can just be honest about how you feel about it. And you know, you don't have to, you can just be honest about how you feel about the menu. We're bringing it out here. It's a tasting menu. Yes. Great. Well, I'm very open-minded. Who do you think we might have chosen for you? What guest? I was thinking because, you know, what I said, I guess the most controversial thing I said on my episode was that I'm not really a bread guy. Yes. I don't love bread. And so I thought they're going to pelt me with bread.

They're going to, this is going to be such a bready menu. And then I thought, who do I know that likes bread? And I thought, Fern. Fern loves a loaf. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And I thought maybe you'd get Fern's menu up for me. You were trying to guess who it was based on the idea, the preconception, that we would want you to have a horrible time. Yes. We're naughty boys.

Yeah. We're not going to lad by, will you? No. Yeah, I'm sorry. My lad brain was going over time. You can reveal it. It's that piece of paper nearest you there that we've put placed down. Oh, I see.

Yeah, gotcha. So this is who's menu. You'll be eating this evening, sir. I'm reading this now? Yes. Okay. Tonight I'll be eating the menu of J. Rainer. Jay Rainer, legendary food critic J. Rainer.

I think I've done very well here, to be honest. I think you might have done. Yeah, well, not everyone would say that, Some people might be like, I'm fucking food critic. Yeah. No, I... But we were thinking, Wang would probably be quite excited to get a Jay Rainer meal.

I'm a big fan of Jay Raina. I've got Rayna mania. Have you a Rainer Mania? I like... I've read one of his books. I think his reviews are very good. I think he very adroitly balances himself between the domains of high taste and no pretension.

He's got good taste, It doesn't have much time for pretension. I think that makes the ideal food critic. There you go. We've actually done really well here. Oh, yeah, big time. Yeah. I can't wait.

Although he does love bread. He does love bread. So it's... The physiogn of fear coming into this... Yeah, already I'm trying to think, how have they lad bibled me? How have the boys lad bribled me? In the intervening six years between the last time you're in the dream restaurant,

we've shared a lot of meals together. Yes, we have. And I think there must have been bread at those. I don't remember you sort of knocking a basket out of some poor waiter's hand. But those were very nice breads. Yes. Those were very, very high-quality breads. Those were a lot of times they were baked on site.

I mean, and when they turn up warm and there's like, there's butter, I'm talking about like, you're going to have butter on bread. But when it turns out warm and there's love in their eyes, that's beautiful. But I'm not like, I don't default to bread all the time. And I try not to eat bread at the start of a meal because it just kind of takes up value, valuable space. I have very much the mind of like an Asian guy at a buffet is like you need to be piling on as much value protein onto the plate

and bread is taking up. Turns out, I'm an Asian guy at a buffet. I always say this. Yeah. I always say this about you. I'm an Asian guy at a buffet. So is my wife. My wife's an Asian guy at a buffet.

Your wife is the biggest Asian guy I've ever met. Yeah. No, we went to Vegas and went to like some big buffets, like the big expensive buffets. Awesome. And our catchphrase when we were going up to the buffet every time was be Asian. I'm Asian. That was the catchphrase on their way there. Hello, we'd say to everyone, I'm Asian.

And they say, right this way. Okay. That's your catchphrase, I suppose. It's a casino. Everyone's amazing. What are you talking about? We would shout, I'd say, near the tops of our voices. quite drunk, high quality proteins.

High quality proteins! It's like a battle cry. Yeah, high value. High value. High value, that's an important thing. Does quality equal value? Not always. No.

No? Yeah, not always. Sometimes things are expensive, worth a lot, not really worth that much. I mean, lobster was fed to prisoners in Maine. There was a protest in Maine prisons because they can't keep feeding us these bugs. Oh, wow. And then it became fancy food and then it became expensive. And they don't get it in prison anymore, I guess.

No, no, they're protesting. Let us see some god, their lobster. Yeah, he said the lobster. We take it back. We take it back. It's all about perception. Did they give the prisoners, like, the bib and the little lobster fork? Yeah.

Crunching, uh, yeah, pliers thing. They got the butter. A cartoon lobster on the bib. Can you stop feeding us these bugs? But the cartoon lobster on the bib is in handcuffs. Yeah. Around the claws. Looking sad.

Yeah. They caught me. Do you think they fed the business lobsters that had done crimes? Yeah. Yeah. They pinch things. Oh, yes. Come on.

It was there. It's not good, but it's there. It was right there. Sometimes that's all you can hope for is a comedian. That just works on a technical level. It's quick and it's there. It's quick and it's there. Yeah.

Yeah. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed that pitch. That was actually the slogan for lobster. Yeah. On the shores of Maine. It's quicken, is there. It's quick and it's there.

So what is your buffet technique? So first plate at a buffet. Say this is like a fancy buffet. Oh, okay. Oh, like at a Singaporean hotel. Sure. I would, well, avoid the starches. I do find it hard of avoiding your rice noodles.

But seafood. So you want your prawns, you want a lobster, crab. Go to the Japanese area. High value, not very fit. Yes. That's the Japanese way. Yeah. Sashimi.

Yeah. Mackie's, tuna, miso soup, not filling. Not, miso soup's not particularly available, but... And then you get into your red meats. That's very high value, very expensive. So a bit of steak, a bit of a burger. A bit of burger. And then the silver, and then you start on the silverware.

And then you start on the silverware, because there's the real value. You got to start filling up on the silverware. We're talking teaspoons. We're talking little forks. We're talking the little snail forks. There's tiny little snail for. Yeah, you've got to go as many of those. You can pack in fucking loads of those into a pocket.

Then you're in prison. Then you're being fed lobster. And you've got the cut there before. I don't go to, I don't go to buffet is not much anymore. Are there fancy buffets? Yeah? I feel like... Not as fancy as that, I think.

No. The fanciest ones I've been to, like in Vegas or... It's like Vegas, Dubai, Singapore. I was in Dubai once and went to a couple, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Although I have very fond memories of going to the All You Can Eat Buffet and Ketman when I was growing up. I was used to look forward to.

I've shouted out Lee Gardens on the podcast before. But I'd be excited every single time we're going to Lee Gardens. Is that the Chinese buffet? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it was one of the only places where...

Sounds like a guy from catering and runs a gardening company. Actually, shout out to him as well. I don't want him to think of forgotten about him. Lee Gardens, you keep on doing your thing, brother. We ought to appreciate your work. I'm talking about the all you can eat my favour. Yeah. Yeah, delicious.

And I just get, because nowhere else did that near us. Yeah. It's so exciting. It's like one of our birthdays. Oh, amazing. And just, like, going crazy. But that's like Chinese buffets, all you can eat Chinese buffets are where people really fuck up with the

starches, I think. Yeah. They're going straight in with a pile of noodles and rice. That's it. And that's it. They're not going back. Yeah. And that's a smart thing.

The Chinese make an event out of the starches. Yeah, yeah. And people think, oh, I'm getting value here. You're not. No, no, no, no. If you're paying like a 10 or all you can eat, and then you've eaten less than a, way less than a 10 is worse, and you can't fit any more in. You've got to go to the proteins.

Avoid the chicken balls is mostly batter. Yeah. Mostly batter. That's how they're getting you there. Yeah. And you need to be able to see the meat. Yeah. You need to see the meat.

Yeah. You have to see him all. Silverware. Yeah. Chopsticks, every chopstick you can grab. We'll do water and pop-a-oms or bread together. Okay. He's quite brief on them.

Oh, yeah. We're talking sparked in water and popadoms. Interesting. Now, you've got to be happy with that. Yeah. You were all scared about bread. I mean, look, please take this well. I've never had a guest getting their heads so much about the bread before we've even started.

You were panicking sober. Yeah. He kept me like, like, no bread on this is there, guys. I was like, he's so scared there's going to be bread here. And we know there's Papa Dubs. Yeah. No, I'm happy about the Popatoms. Again, you're not filling up too much at all there.

No. You can throw on some relishes. Did he pick out any relishes? Well, I'm guessing you're having whatever you want on those popadums, Phil. Oh, great, Nutella. Yeah. Yeah, I like that onion salad that comes with that. So do I.

Yeah. I love it. I never used to like it. I'd be like, why I'm eating that? Raw onion? You kidding me? I started off as a mango chutney guy. Yeah.

And then you realize, You're eating dessert. Yeah. You need to start with some salad, a little onion, something zesty, a little lime. I guess the only problem with Popinam's, I've never had it with a non-Indian meal. So this is potentially incoherent start to a meal unless the rest is Indian. Does coherence worry you, meal-wise? Yeah.

It does, yeah. I think if a meal isn't sort of thematically or culturally tied together, I feel a bit odd. all rules are out the window at a buffet. Yeah, of course. At a buffet, I'll have sushi next to a lasagna. And I'll be like, I'm getting my money's worth. Yeah. Take the rice out of sushi, of course.

Yeah. Don't have to be loading up on that. But if... Did you change what hat you're wearing for each dish? A little hat? Yeah. Yeah, like a hat that represents the country. Because we all know you're wearing a hat when you go into the buffet.

But when you change that hat. Yeah, I have to bring that... Just to make you feel like thematically, you're still kind of like, you're connect. to everything in some way. Yes. So it's not that random. And maybe what you're listening

on your headphones, you changed that as well. Yeah, have a playlist. Yeah. Buffet. It says buffet buffet 25 because it's the new year now.

So you're tucking into a lasagna. Yeah. What hat are you wearing? What do they have? It's not, no, Beret is French. There's like an Italian one,

isn't it? What's the guy wearing on those pizza boxes you get in London? Chef's hat? Chef's... Oh, yeah, the white, You can't wear a big, poofy white chef's hat? The gondola

The guy's have a little beret. Yeah. Yeah, but then if you go with the beret for Italy, Phil, think it through. Because later on, there's going to be a French dish. Well, lucky, I've already got the hat. What are you doing? You can't just go back. There's a small beret, right?

Yeah, I just can need to squish it. Yeah. Oh, you're going to use the same beret for it. Yeah, just squish the Italian one. Yeah, scrunch it up. Well, there are certain ways of wearing berets in different regions. that are like, that means you're from there. Oh, no.

And you wear it differently. It means you're from a different place. I got showing it when I was in San Sebastian with Joe Lyset for Travel Man. Oh, nice. And we got to try some berets on. And the guy was telling us, like, if you wear it like this, you're from San Sebastian. If you wear it from this, you're from Bill Bale. And he was like doing it all differently.

So it must be the gondola guys must have their own way. But that's in Italy. So you're talking about Spain now. Yes, I'll talk about Spain just now. Yeah. So you need a different berets to. You need a different beret for Spain. Well, I've got a lot of cuisines covered by one hat.

Yeah. As long as you know where to put the hat each time, you've got to move it. Yeah. Otherwise, someone will come up to you and go, what are you doing? Chinese food, are you going to wear the hat? Or are you just going to be like... Oh, Chinese food? Yeah, I can have either that sort of tight cap.

Yeah. Then I'm just pulling the beret down a bit, don't I? I'm just tightening it. Is that going to look like... I don't know why you refuse to take more than one hat to the buffet. I'm just trying to think how much... It just feels that unwieldy. Where am I putting all these hats?

I think you've got one and you keep just moving it around. It's going to feel like some like Edinburgh, one-man show thing. Do you know what they mean? When they just use as little props as possible and everyone goes, oh, that's amazing what they did just with that beret. It completely transformed between starter and mains. Yeah, yeah. Or you're going to look like you've got nets.

Yeah, I think you've got nits at the buffet. Yeah, no, that's not good. Okay, well, the beret covers a lot. Other, yeah, other hats, the sombrero, that's going to take up a lot of space. I could probably fit in some of the hats into the fomero. The barrier could go into the sombrero. And there's often a string on the sombrero, isn't there,

so you can carry that in. So it's like a hat bag, it's a hat bag, it's a hat. Yeah. And when on the way out, that's why I put all the cutler in. Perfect. In the brim. You put the sombrero on, just line all the forks and knives around the sombrero and then go, adios.

We'd be walking out so carefully. Yeah. Really slowly, one step at a time. Sorry, I'm very fine. Turn in your neck really slowly to look at the provider as you go out. Yeah. Thank you, my good man. gently jangling

Yeah Just putting your hand up He's wearing that fingerless glove Yeah See you later Everyone in the restaurant having to use their hands Yeah

Happened to all the The hell happened to the couple of it Where's that jangly man going? Well hopefully This menu will be coherent for you From Popper Dom's book I trust big J

Okay Your starter This is Jay Vayner's starter It's coming to your table Now we're putting it in front of you Oysters Marvelous From Rooney Fish, Castleford Lock, N.I. What's N.I?

Northern Ireland, I'd imagine, James. Not for Eaton. Not for eaten. Is that what it means? Not for eating. Oh, take me away again. Bad luck. Yeah. Very funny from Phil there, but I don't want to get off track that you didn't know what N.I stands for. I thought it was like an American, like, state or something. Michigan.

Michigan, yeah. Where is from. Michigan. Everyone speaks a loud, squawky voice. Yeah. All the time. Detroit, Michigan. Yeah. A blue state, I imagine.

Castleford Lock is in Northern Ireland, so. Okay. Yeah. Apologies. I apologize to everyone in Northern Ireland. I've exposed myself there. Ignant. Yeah.

Well, these sound delicious, these Northern Irish... I love an oyster. And actually, Jay Rainer informed my oyster-eating technique. Oh, wow. It's in his book that he says, there's all sorts of nonsense about not chewing an oyster or two, chews, three chews. He says, it's food, chew it.

Chew it, chew, until they've had enough chewing in his water. This is why he does. He peels away the nonsense, O.J. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He peels away the nonsense. Yeah, so I think about Jerry and every time I slurp down an Northern Irish. And what do you, do you chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, too. Two, three, four, maybe four of his real good one.

Yeah. Sometimes you get a bit scared. Even I get scared. Yeah. Even fans of oysters get a bit scared sometimes. You're like, not actually, maybe I'm not into this, actually. Every single time there's a little moment I'm like, oh, what am I doing? And then I swallow it and I go, that was great.

So good. I was so good. And I take another. I'm like, fuck, what am I doing? Oh, yeah, that's really good. They are scary. I love oysters, but every time I have them, I think, I've never had a bad one that's done bad business to me. No, that's right, yeah.

One day, I'm sure it'll happen. Yeah. So when could it be? I'm spinning the roulette wheel every time I have oysters. The oyster farmers, fishers, fish are oyster men. They know from, they eat raw oysters straight off the boat when they're fishing, and they slurp it, and they know straight away if it's a bad one. Oh, really?

After they swallow it, and they swallow a bit of salt water, and they throw it up over the side, and they keep going. So instantly puke? Instantly puke it out, yeah. They can just tell from the taste that's bad one. Yeah. Yeah. I went to the oyster farm in Wistible.

I filmed it for a little travel show for a video game. and the guy... Hold on a second. You might have to explain that, Phil. A travel show for a video game. What are you talking about? An oyster farm. An oyster farm.

It sounds like you were filming a Marvel film and you've had to suddenly make up what you were doing. Yeah. What are you talking about? For a project called Metal Guy. It was for Rome Total War, which is a video game. A original tragedy game

I've always been a big fan of, and they were remastering the original Rome Total War. And to coincide with it, they wanted to do like a funny travel around travel documentary about the Romans, but it was COVID, so we can go to Rome. So we did Roman Britain. Yes. And for one episode is about Roman British food and they ate loads of oysters. Did they? Yeah.

Roman sites, archaeological sites are full of oyster shells and their walls are full of oyster shells because they reused and put in their cement. And so we went down to the Whistible Oyster Company, which is the oldest, the oldest, company in company house in the UK. The whistleblower company is the oldest company in company's house. I can't wait to tell that to John Robbins. He'll know that. He loves company's house so much. I can't wait to tell him that I know I detail him.

I go, and he loves trivia. Yeah. So I can't wait to say to him, do you know what the oldest company in company's house is? And he'll go, no, what is it? And then at that point, I will have forgotten. Yes. It would be far enough away from this. Yeah.

that I would have forgotten. The only bit of I would have retained is that I want to tell John, and then I will realise that I don't know, and I'll say, Bill Wang. I don't know any time that that will be it. We've had oysters a lot together. Oh, sorry, quite recently. They're growing, keep growing as well. Sorry, this has become oyster.

They keep going. Yeah, on the beach where the oyster farm is, there was an oyster that just dropped off on other racks years ago, and it was like the size of this table. It was massive. Because no one picked it up. It just fell off over the racks, and they went, no, leave it there, fuck it.

See what happens. I can't be by, we'll get it tomorrow. Every day we go it tomorrow, eventually. I fucking big that. Try a lift in that. It's impossible. I bet that oyster is, you couldn't eat that though. No.

I bet it's disgusting. It'd be horrible. It'd eat you. To chew or not to chew. And he goes, what am I doing? Peaks you back up again. Yeah.

A bit of salt water. It's not a good one. Yeah. Phil just like naked. just slides across the floor. The guy who showed us around the oyster X was, you're very experienced oyster fisherman, and he was trying to get me to shuck them,

which I couldn't do because this oysters are so sharp, and my soft, soft city hands were just breaking against the crust of these oysters. And he said, you're a city man, Luke pointed out of my hands. And he went, you know what you call those here? and I thought, oh God. And he just goes, lady hands. Wow.

Well, that's not making the edit. Lady hands. That'll teach us to go to Kent. You could have just said, just take your breath, mate. It's not going to, whatever you're about to say. You're not going to say nice, soft hands. Yeah. All those lovely hands.

And you're very welcome here. Lady hands. Lady hands. looks at the camera. Yeah. I've shucked oyster at home before a couple of times. Yeah. So hard.

So hard. You have to go in the opposite way to you, the opposite end there you think. Yeah, you go in the joint. The joint bit and then get it in there, twist to unlock it, then get the knife in and try and cut all the muscle off the top, all while trying to not get shell into the shell. Forget it. And then, yeah, it's a nightmare.

It makes me really angry when I've done it. I bet it there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really stressed out. Not work. And then the product at the end of it lasts 0.5 seconds. Yeah, absolutely. And I've probably fucked it up.

I've accidentally chopped it up into mints in the middle of the shell because I'm digging the knife around in there. I'd do that. I'd chop it all up. I'll get shell all in it. Yeah. And for like two seconds in and it being hard, I'd think to myself it's not even like marshmallows in here.

Yeah. It's not even doing this for a marshmallow. I'm doing it for something that I'm going to get halfway through and go, bleh, I'm going to freak out while I'm eating it. If this was a lovely, gimmee marshmallow, this would be worth it. When we went to Rick Stein's restaurant in Padstow, yes. My starter, yeah.

My starter was four oysters, but it came with some spicy sausages. Oh, wow. Such a nice touch. Yeah, and I didn't know this was a thing, but apparently it's quite a sort of French thing to do. You neck an oyster, have that, you know, what the fuck. And then take a bite of the spicy sausage straight afterwards, or take a bite with an oyster in your mouth,

and it's perfect. It's so good. A little sausage chaser. Yeah, sausage chaser. Mix them in your mouth, haven't you? Oh, that's good. That's my favourite part of eating is when you eat two animals

that would never have met. Fucking else. Isn't the best? It's the most whang thing you've ever said. Lones of people, we have Rocheon connolly on the podcast once, and she said she loves watching YouTube videos of animals that wouldn't normally hang out with each other who make friends in captivity and how sweet it is.

I love eating them both, and they never would have met. They wouldn't have. If you told an oyster, they're about a pig, would have lost its shit. You don't know what you're talking about. I love that. You feel like God. You eat an oyster and eat a bit of pig.

They would never have magic to them. Yeah, you're in control of the whole world. Having maple syrup on bacon, you're pouring a tree on a pig. You're pouring a tree on a pig. If you tried to tell this pig when it was alive, I'm going to kill you're going to pour a tree on you. It feels so good. It feels amazing.

That's what you like. about it. Yeah. That is one of those sentences that's going to change people's lives. I'm pouring a tree on a pig. I'm pouring a tree on a pig. Every time they put maple syrup on bacon, they'll think, I'm pouring a tree on a pig. I'm pouring a tree on a pig.

Look at me. Damn right. Every time you've sold something, you've been crushing rocks onto, I don't know, a snail. Yeah. It's also, it just never gets old. Snails. Snails probably matter of rock. Yeah, poor guy.

for breakfast would you say to your partner or whoever want to go and pour a tree and a pig that sounds say that to your partner sounds like you're up for some fun I wouldn't want to do that so I'm married man here

wouldn't want to give us yeah but it's an awful way of suggesting it isn't it? Want to go and pour a tree on a pig you've got to think what's the tree and who's the pig which tree which pig frame poll fishes

yeah you sound like a socialite like one of those old school socialite socialites who has dinner parties and invites people from different walks of life. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But in this case, you're eating the guests. Yeah, that's right. I'm doing, I'm doing a placing map, a seating map for animals, for dead animals to meet

each other. You guys are really going to get on. Yeah, that's why I love a surfing. Cow? You have to meet lobster. I think you two would get on very well. If the cow was in prison, it made a lobster. But in quick, that it's one bad cow. Yeah.

You two are going to have a riot together. Is that a prison joke? Is that a prison pun? No, it wasn't supposed to be actually. I was just enjoying being one of those annoying hosts who has dinner parties and sits people next to each other who don't know each other. And you're like, fucking out, mate, that's not why I'm here. When you have people over for dinner, do you give them a seating plan?

Do you tell them where to sit? Or just let them sit with people who they know? Probably haven't had anyone over for dinner for about three years. Yeah, yeah. But I wouldn't do that. No. But also, like, the worst is obviously weddings where people go, we thought we'd just mix up all the friendship groups.

Like, why the, how long do you think this wedding is one fucking day? Yeah. We're not, I don't need to get to know these. I'm going to sit with my fucking mates and slide the wedding off together. And like all, you know, have a sweepstake on the speeches, do fun shit. Yeah. And now you've sat me as to someone. And now I've got to be on my best behaviour.

Yeah. I want to sit at the table. And everyone else there is a comedian and their partner. Yeah. And all I want to do is talk about comedy, while all of our partners look increasingly annoyed. Sure, you must hate that for, you know, like, sit next to strangers at weddings. I like being sat next to someone I don't know. Wow. I like meeting new people in my 30s.

People who say, oh, making new friends in your 30s is hard. I find making new friends is easy. Keeping friends, that's hard. Yeah, yeah. For me, that's hard. That's really hard. Yeah. I make friends, I lose them.

That's how my work. I've always worked. Why do you think you lose them? What happens? I think it's because growing up, I moved around. So, you know, I moved a lot. School's a lot. And I moved, like, I went to boarding school in Borneo, and then moved here.

And then I was only at school here for two years and went to university. So in my mind, I think my mind goes, oh, you have friends for two years. Yeah, yeah. And then you leave. Yeah, that was just my conditioning, I think. So that's just like, where's Phil? So that they don't know what's happened. Yeah.

No, no, no. They're messaging you're going, I thought we were supposed to meet up and you're going, check the calendar, mate. It's two years. I told you. Happy New Year, goodbye forever. Yeah, that's what I said.

I remember reading something once about a guy who had a thing, you know, a very rigid thing of, like, how long his relationships lasted, like romantic. So if he got in a relationship, it was, say, 10 years, and that was how long it was going to.

So every year, every relationship was the same amount of time to the point where he would, say to partners, like, this is what it is with me. No matter how it's going, after 10 years, we're done. Wow. And I think at the beginning, a lot of them would think, like, yeah, yeah. And then it would get to 10 years on the day, you go, goodbye. Wow. And they'll be like, are you fucking kidding me?

That's crazy. Yeah. How young did this guy start? Ten years is a long time. Yeah, probably. I probably shouldn't have chosen 10 years. Oh, right, right, right. Maybe three years. Okay, okay. All right, yeah. It's obviously not 10 years. Sorry, baby, this is just something I do. I don't want.

I'm not my 50s Every single person must think I'm going to change his mind Right, yeah We are so right for each other This is a good relationship They're approaching the three year mark Whatever it is

And they're going, there's no way We are This is the best relationship I've ever been in it is great Did he just decide that Or did his first relationship end After three years? Maybe the second one is a coincidence

And he was like, I guess that's how it has to be Maybe, yeah And then it just became My conditioning Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like you with your, you go, well, I'm off to uni now. Yeah, yeah.

So, Phil, you're 45. Because I'm moving. Yeah, I'm moving again, puts your little bindle over your shoulder. Yeah. Go to the next town. With all your hats in it. All your hats in there, you cut the really have stolen. Your main course, Phil.

Yeah. The Jane Rayner has chose for you. Some spare ribs from Louise and Harrow. Oh, wow. I don't know Lewis and Harrow. What's so special about the spare ribs? I seem to remember Jay Rainer saying that he likes the ritual of like eating something with your hands. Yeah, fun.

Getting stuck in. Especially once I've been, you've got no choice. Yeah. Sure. Because I've got the silver. You've got the silverware. My hat. Yeah, I love ribs.

I never understood what makes a rib a spare rib. What's a spare? Yeah. Especially since those are the ribs you see the most. That's right. So they're not left over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the full rib.

Yeah. If those are spare ribs... What the spares like? What the spares are the spares like? The spare ribs. What? Yeah, do we know? No, I guess maybe, traditionally...

It's not just the ribs left over. When it was, when a pig was being butchered, maybe. Maybe they were the cheapest bits that no one wanted, so they were the spare ribs. They were going to spare. And then they were like, became the most desired bit. And they're just still called spare ribs. Why wouldn't you call them just ribs, though? It's not like you butcher a pig and go, well, that's a spare anus.

No one wanted it. No one wanted the anus. It does make it more appealing. That anus is going begging. If anus is going bagging. Do you remember the urban myth a few years back where people were saying that Calamari was a deep-fried pig anus? No.

This was a thing I read. I read a thing and it said, be careful. Be careful. It starts with be careful. Hi, guys. Be careful. All the calumari out of there, some of it might be careful. Pig anus. Some of it might be.

Not all of it. Some of it. Some of it just to sort of, you know, beef up portions. Yeah. But you would love it. You'd be like, a squid and a pig would never meet. Shoveling it in. Yum, yum, yum. Well, I thought, surely, a pig's anus is more expensive than a squid.

There's the many rings of squid in a squid. There's only one anus on a pig. Not any one. You think that's what, that makes it more expensive? You think if someone's just butchered a pig, that got all the choice cuts that people usually eat. So many chops.

Only one anus. I've only got one anus here. So you better pony up some pretty big bugs for this. I'll start the bidding at 50 pounds for the anus. You can take the chops. I don't give a shit about the chops.

The thing's full of chops. It's a bit difficult for these chefs who are just like, I need a whole bowl of what looks like calamari. How are we going to get enough pig anuses for this? Yeah. Well, maybe just some of them will be pigs like, I love that it's only some of them. Like, why just, why not just give one less calamari?

I don't think anyone's going to notice. No. They're going, oh, no, they're expecting seven calamari out of this. I can't start a whole new squid. Well, they've printed the menu. The menu says seven calamari. Yeah, as it always does, yeah. Yeah.

Seven exact calamari's. Don't look at one of them too hard. Is one calamari a calamari or calamari? That makes me feel sick. Calamaro. Because, you know, it's like, with Italian food, like, the eye is always the plural. Yeah, yeah. So there's one calomari or calamario. Maybe it is a calomero.

Yeah, because I guess ravioli raviolo. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Spaghetti. Ravolo's like a big ravioli. Yeah. Is that true?

I think so. Raviolo's definitely true. I've not heard spaghetti. Yeah, I thought SpaghettiOs. You think it's like... You think it's spaghetti oats, Phil. Like a tin of spaghetti hoops. Yeah.

Which, by the way, a sparrow anus is. They are. Little birdie edguses that they put in... It's just cheaper. In blood. cheaper. Not all of them. Not all of them. Not all of us. That would be nuts. That would be

nuts. That would be beyond the pale. But some of them are. I feel like I'd notice if there was a pig anus in my calamari. I would have thought so, yeah. Surely it would look different to the rest of them. None of us are saying we know what pig anus is looked like. No. I'm not saying that. No. But calumari are like

you can see through the middle of it, right? Yeah. Surely the pig anus to act as an anus has to be quite puckered. Right, right. But But sort of, liberated from the sphincter, no, the sphincter's the inside, liberated from the anal muscles, does it loosen? Maybe that, maybe when it's heated.

Ah, it expands. It expands. Could expand. Maybe they give the, let the pig sniff some poppers before they... Snit, sniff these. Kill it, kill it! Even with a popper budget, it's still cheaper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the pig would get suspicious at that point, shall I? Yeah. Why are you wanting to sniff these poppers? Yeah. You're not going to pour a tree on me, I? I'll sniff it, but stay away from my anus. Ribs, yeah, I like a rib. When someone says ribs, I assume they're going to be spare ribs.

That's always what they call the Chinese takeaway ribs. It's always called spare ribs. Spare ribs, I guess that's what spare ribs are. But then a rack of ribs, it's never called a rack of spare ribs. That's just the rack of ribs. Yes. Some places it is, I think, but they are the spare ribs. They're the long ones, right?

Oh. compared to babyback, baby back, baby back ribs. And what are baby back ribs? The smaller ones. Oh, so the spare ones are the long ones in the end? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Okay, well, that might be it, dead. Yeah, I love ribs.

I love all the sauces that come with the ribs. The barbecue, the Sichuan. And any others? I was Phil making that noise of his mouth. I can't remember what Jade Rainer wanted, but I guess they're more in the sort of American style of barbecue. Barbecue sauce smothered ribs. I love that.

Pulling meat off a bone. It makes me feel like God. That's the second time you said that. I just like food that makes me feel like God. I just like food that makes me feel like God. Yeah. And this can only end one way. Sort of medieval, right?

Pulling meat off a bone and eating it with your hands, you wanna throw the bone away like God. So sick. I wanna feel like the corrupt king at the end of Return of the King, you know, Lord of the Rings. He bites the tomato and he goes, phthyl and like, tearing meat off like a leg. so sick. We don't pull enough meat off bone in this country. In Malaysia, everything is on the bone.

I didn't really come across like breast, like just chicken breasts on its own until I moved to the UK. That is the part that people don't want in Asia. Yeah. Because it's not so flavorful. Yeah. It doesn't, you know, as it gets dry. But my... Welcome to England. My father is a Chinese, as a Chinese guy, and they all have this skill of just, shoving a piece of animal in their mouth. And then you go, and the mouth just moves around. Yeah.

And then he'll lean over and he'll spit out, point, point, point, point, perfect, shining little bones. Wow. It's awesome. Like God. Like, yeah. Exactly like God. Yeah.

You know how, like, on the TV show, sometimes a sexy lady will flirt with a man by putting a cherry stem in her mouth and then she puts it out, puts it out, and it's tied in a knot. I eat a little. A bird. Yeah. And I, and I say madam, and I, not a little napkin.

Madam. Spit a beacon to a napkin. Just the beak, it's the whole skeleton, I guess. Yeah, yeah, the whole skelet. Yeah. All of it. But I think you say Phil Wang, pleased to meet you. It spells out, Phil Wang, please to meet you.

The bones. Sometimes if, like, chickens like char-grilled or anything like that, the small bones, if they've been, like, char-grilled and they're, like, a bit carbonated. I'm crunching those down. Yeah, don't it? This guy, I learned something new about him every episode. I love it.

I love, like, being able to crack through a crunchy bone, cartilage, love cartilage. What would you say it makes you feel like when you do that? It makes me feel like a god. Ah, I think I know this feeling. If you were a god, Phil. Yeah. What would be the first thing you, say, if you woke up, if you were Jim Carrey and Bruce Almighty or something, what would you do? Sorry, Phil just put a small bird in his mouth.

Yeah. He's just showing me, rather than telling me what he would do. This is what I would do. I'm pretty satisfied with how the world is. It's not a irresponsible thing to say. Outstanding answer. I think the world is great in 2025. Didn't even need to talk about the state of the world.

Could have just come up with something mad that you do if you're a god, but you went with, I'm pretty satisfied with the state of the world. I think the world is good. I can't think of anything that people are complaining about at the moment. All seems pretty good to me. I don't know, man. It's just too big an ask. I wouldn't know where to start.

You know, you want to say, well, I'd get rid of all war and injustice, but it'll arise. We're built to fight and to be unfair to one another. It's how we're built. And every time we try and affect. What the hell are you on about it? Every time we try and affect something from the top down, the changes. nature of ours, it ends... Yeah, but being a god is not top down.

I think... Well, there's nothing more top down than being a god. No, because you can literally control everything that happens. It's not like you need to worry about the consequences. That sounds like a lot of work. I'm checking in every day, see how it's going. Yeah, your God, man. I just wanted to put tree on a pig. And now you've got to control every conflict in the world.

Yeah. I think I wouldn't want to be like a monotheistic, Abrahamic god. I will because that's too much of a broad scope you got to I want to be one of the pantheon gods yeah like an Egyptian or a Greek or they had some fucking good times a god of something a god off something what would you be the god of I'd be the god of when you need to buy something with cash and you have just enough change that rounds you that is like the thing is 13 pound 15 pence. And you have a tenor and

a five pound note, but you also have 15 pans. So you give 10 pounds, five pounds, 15 pounds, and you get two pounds back. I once did that at a supermarket in London and the checkout lady

very confusingly gave me two pounds back even though the price had some pence at the end of it. And she honestly said to me, how have you done that? So I'd be the god of that. Yeah. Like you're Darren Brown or something. She's looking for hidden cameras.

I mean, I've got to assume you're getting bullied at God's school. If that's what you're the god of. The rest of her, we do the proper. We know what the God's wearing. Yeah, absolutely. Everyone else wearing robes and stuff. You're turning up wearing your fleece. One life, live it.

It's absolutely redundant if you're a god. Yeah, one life is forever, though. Yeah. I'm living it. Yeah. I'm loving it. Were your fleece on your glove? Okay, well, I think you'll be a good god of God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, man. So will people pray to you to make sure that that happens for them? Well, these gods, these pantheon gods, you know, when you dig into it, some of them are really specific what they're gods of. And that's a pretty good one. That's pretty cushy one. You'd have to do very much work, and you'd get to be a god. Yeah, they'd pray for me.

They'd offer up loose change at the altar. Yeah. And I think I'd be sick. But you don't want that as a god, though. They'd have to offer up proper coin. and notes, right? No, but I guess, I know I want loose change

so that I can keep having the feeling of the experience. Yeah, but isn't the experience only good because you don't receive any loose change back and get rid of the loose change initially? Oh, yeah, you're right, actually.

Yeah. You're going to have to put some more work in if you want to be the god of this. Sorry, god damn. Even God is hard. This is what I was saying earlier. Yeah. You just want to feel like a god.

Yeah. Yeah, by putting a tree on a pig or eating cheese on a fish. that's a good one yeah putting cheese on the fish you're pouring a cow onto a fit yeah yeah that's nice they had no idea about each other

yeah yeah no one's ever milked a cow over a river no one's ever been milking a cow and just at the point where they squeeze the teat the bucket gets washed away and a fish was happened to be going past never what was that what was that never you mind what that was you're a cow

you'll find out in the afterlife whether also their eyes pointing on the side I don't think we can actually look down at the water. Most of the cows looked at the sea and the sea, but the cows never met a fish. Most cows have seen the sea? I would say most cows have seen the sea.

Yeah. That's definitely not true. Yeah. Some cows have seen the sea. Some cows have seen the sea. No, no, no. You thought you had me there. You really thought you had me there when you thought I said, oh, most cars have seen the sea. I thought I've got him. Yeah.

Your side dish, we're going on a side dish now. Yeah. It's buttery cabbage made by Jay Rainer. This is mad because I do his... I'm starting to sound J. Raine obsessed. Yeah. I do his buttery cabbage recipe from his book. Oh, this is huge. This is such a coincidence.

It's lots of butter, lots of cabbage, and then just loads of chicken stock and just keep going and going and going. That's it. That's what he put on his dream meal. So you've actually had it before? I make it. Yeah, I've made it. I haven't made it in a while, actually.

I've got to get back on that. It's fantastic. This is fantastic. Wow. It's full of butter in stock. See, we just had a feeling. We were like, let's choose Jay Rainer for Phil. that would be good.

We think, because we're not trying to, we weren't trying to do what you thought we're going to do and like punk you. We were trying to give you something that, well, you think he would, he would vibe with this a little bit. We were so on the money because you're eating this anyway. Absolutely. I love it. How often do you make Jay's buttery cabbage? I haven't for a bit, but I went through a period of like having it, basically every other meal I would make this buttery cabbage. Wow.

It's so good, man. It goes with so much. I love cabbage. Yeah. Shout out to cabbage. I mean, cabbage is, you know, it's, it's got so many societies. through so much across the world, you know?

Europe to Asia, the cabbage has been the foundation of civilization. And it's frowned, it's still like, people think badly of cabbage quite a lot. Yeah? I think. Yeah, people think it's like lame and farty and stuff. Farty, yeah, farty is something that gets leveled at it a lot.

Charlie Bucket's family have cabbage soup. Delicious. In Charlie Talks. Not so bad. After all, being a bucket. They're like cabbage soup. It's better. for you than fucking chocolate. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any sort of buttered green side, a big, big fan. I think this does sound good. I've still not had it, the buttered cabbage aller J. Rainer. Oh, yeah. But are you literally just

cooking the cabbage in stock? Are you cooking it in the stock? Yeah, a lot of butter at the start to fry it up, and then kind of like a risotto. You keep adding something evaporates, yeah. Amazing.

Sounds really good. It's really nice. It's delicious. So you can just make this. You've just got it in your head now. You know how to do it. It's very easy. You've got your own feel.

How much to add at each point? Sometimes some crushed fennel seeds in there. It's really nice. Oh, Phil. Lots of pepper, obviously. Yeah. Yeah, man. It's the best.

It's really good. You must think of Jay Rainer when you're eating oysters and when you're eating cabbage. Yeah, I think about Jay Rainer a lot, actually. Yeah. He's a lucky guy. To get to live inside this. To live rent-free in this. You know he plays jazz piano as well?

Yeah. Have you been to one of his gigs? And too busy eating cabbage. Yeah. I imagine you're like learning his songs. To play like Jay Raine. You could eat a load of cabbage, then go to his gigs, hop on stage and play the butt trumpet.

The buttery trumpet. Yeah. I was not expecting butt trumpet. It would come place it on my calamari and get going. A super fan. Oh, no. This always happens. and ripping out a solo from your ass.

Someone's red mo. Fucking out of, they're here. Colin Brown. I think of you all the time, Jay. I think of you all the time. We saw in the new year, I can't remember if it, it was New Year's Eve.

Ed and I watched Jay Rayner on Pointless. Yes. Win Pointless, to be fair to it. Yeah, yeah. With Thomas Inamiers. Yes. Another guest. Another guest on the pod.

So, you know, we're rooting for them. Wow. invested, interesting. They've both been on this podcast. We want them to win because then we've won. Yes. Even though Ed. Have you guys done it?

Pointless celebs. Yes. How do you do? I've done it a couple of times. Both times I did it with Nish. Yeah. From Michigan. From Michigan.

First time we crashed out after two rounds. Second time we won. Nice one. Oh, you won the jackpot? Yeah. Wow. The jackpot. Absolutely thrashed Peston into the middle of next week.

Peston's gone. See you later. That also felt good. Yeah, it was really good. The round that got us through to the final was towns. It was like pictures of town halls and the name and like just some letters missing. Yeah. And obviously, Mittenish were all over.

Small places with town halls. Of course, yeah. From gigging. I got Alteringham because I'd cancelled a gig there the week after. Well, that's Ultringham. I wrote that in an email recently. I know how those letters go. I shall not be coming to Ultringham.

And then we lucked out because the final round was actors in Marvel films. And Superhero films, yeah There was... Wow, I mean, those two categories are Nish's life Yeah, yeah, absolutely And I was throwing ones out there That Nish was like, yeah, whatever But they were also pointless

But we got a pointless answer on Michael Gough Whoa, who's Michael Gough? Alfred In the original Batman films The Michael Keaton Batman films Wow One of the great Alfreds Yeah, yeah

Really good Alfred Yeah My first time I did Pointless It with Sinder V and we got the jackpot baby. Oh, yeah. Wow. Sindhu said Eritrea and bang, bang, bang.

We were champions. What was the category? Places where Phil would. It was American states or African countries with seven letters in the name or more. My God. Jesus, that's a more. She knocked down. I've never seen someone say Eritrea so fast.

It's a lot more specific. And then I did it again with Pierre Novelli. Yes. And we got to the first. final, we won, but then we were asked to name some Idriselba movies. Oh, no. And I said Thor 2. Yeah.

And we didn't went. Too high. Too high. Not as high as you think, Paul. A lot of people knew that film. Or he was in it. He was in it. A lot of people, I think the qualifier, yeah, the fact of there is a lot of people knew Edrice

Alba was in Thor 2. But my thinking was, well, everyone's going to say Thor. Yeah. I was going to say Thor 2. Yeah. It turned out people did. A lot of people said it. Yeah.

Yeah. So, Phil, we all thought you were about to say something there. You said, um, he said, um, cleared your throat. Yeah. And then you said, 100% the most Benito's ever laughed on the podcast. Yeah, Benito absolutely lost. He was head spun round over and over again. That's the clip.

This is my life, man. People always think I'm going to say something and I'm not. All the time. Well, you should stop, then, um. You went, buy tickets for Phil's next tour. You were still looking at the table. You weren't even looking at any of us. It's like, where's Phil gone?

It's not even in the room anymore. That's how you should open your next show, man. Here's a drink coming for you. Ooh, yum. It's a vodka in line. This is an odd choice. He's knocking back a vodka with ribs. Bips, buttery cabbage.

He's had some oysters and now he's going to have a vodka and lime. I mean, vodka and cabbage, thematically, culturally consistent. Yes. No problem with that. Then the ribs? I think you were hoping for some wine,

weren't you? I was a little bit of... In the intervening six years. You know I was hoping for some wine end. Phil's a wine boy now. You are such a wine boy that I think it's something that a lot of people know about it. You did choose wine on the podcast,

I believe, when you came on off menu, but you were kind of going, I'm just going into wine and I think wine's nice I took Ed's suggestion of a Riesling Yeah so that was where you were at that point I'm still open-minded

Is that I could say something to You'd be like yeah I'll try that What did I recommend six years ago So I don't think I knew anything about Riesling really But you're right Yeah yeah Or just generally Riesling Yeah and that's it's still

It's still the cool The Cool Wide Wine It is especially for us We're in a little club Yeah you two are in a wine club We're a gang. We're a gang of just a gang of chats. Every time Ed goes out on those, it'll be like,

we'll just finish recording an episode. I'm like, what are you up to tomorrow? He's like, oh, I'm going away with the wine guys, Ollie and Phil and Pierre. And we're just going to go. I'm Freddie. And we're just going for a wine weekend. I'm like, oh, yeah.

And you always like, yeah, yeah. Should be nice. It should be good to see the guys. and just get together. I've never said this. This is an awful. Just get together, have some wines. Never.

You know, it's been, you know what, it should be a quiet one. You know, I've been out a few times recently. I just, I just fancy a quiet weekend. Pace ourselves the next day.

Send me a selfie of all of you looking like cartoon characters whose eyes are going all over the place. And you're all trying to look like upstanding gentleman. And you're absolutely like your heads are disappearing into your fucking necks.

You see it's all like, mouth's open, just hanging open. Bright red, red mouth, mouth, lips. Half open eyes. Yeah.

But always like, hold it, hold it up your glasses and, like, and then gathered around some, like, incredible looking food that hasn't been touched yet. So,

like a base, it's like, like, a pig's head. Yeah. There's like, shining. And they're all like,

eh. Yeah. It's like, day one. The bottle picks at the end, you take a, picture of all the bottles we've had. The line up.

There's a lot. There's always a lot in the line up. Yeah. It's so fun, man. But yeah. May I say, Phil, you're usually the one who looks the most sober in the picks. Well, I'll tell you why that is. Oh, no. You've already mentioned, you've mentioned this.

Yeah. On the podcast before, yeah. It's always good to recap it, though. Yeah. So when you've got a few bottles going around and you're enjoying tasting them and like you might have like four or five glasses in front of you. Yeah. You know, you're tasting them, but then you're drinking.

Yeah. And Phil. is very slow, and he drinks. I don't think I am. Well, we've all finished our glasses and Phil always has more, like, even when we want to open another bottle, Phil's got some of every wine left.

And we were in a restaurant called Otto's, and Otto came over, and he looked at the situation, and he turned to Phil, and he said, ah, you are the baby of the group. He's German, by the way. That wasn't just a bold choice.

I don't even care where he's from. I enjoyed the voice. I don't get where the Otto's from. I am the baby. Yeah. And then at the end of the night, after everyone had finished their wines, and I had a few left over, he patted me on the shoulder and said, come back when you've grown up.

Worth telling it again, because it was longer this. Come back when you've grown up. It's such a horrible thing to say to someone else. They're leaving your restaurant. And we've not been back. Obviously, my favourite wine memory with Phil is going to do masterminds together in Pelfast. Yeah. See, I know where that is.

Yeah, yeah. And in Michigan. Yeah, in Michigan, of course. And I've probably talking about the podcast before, but I like talking about it because I like that, first of all, my main reason was food related for doing mastermind in Belfast because I wanted some seafood chowder. So that was my main thing I'd said to the production.

Could you let me know where there's good seafood chowder for the night before? I had a bunch of Phil at the airport. Didn't even know that we were both going to be on it. We were on different episodes. I was like, Phil, you've got to come out tonight and get some seafood chowder. I'll be revising tonight I was like For what

You're talking about Mastermind tomorrow New Zealand wines It's my specialist subject I need to revise I was like Phil Come out for justice You've got to eat at some point

That's what I said to him Okay Comes out Has a seafood I'm thinking in my head He's going to stay out We're going to go to the crown Yeah

We're going to have a pint of Guinness Like he's going to stay out have the seafood chowder. It's like, pub, you're like, no, I'm going back to my room.

I was like, come on, Phil. It's like, and he went, just went to his room, revised. I can't fucking believe this shit. I went back to my hotel.

I'm just sitting there fucking bored out of my mind. I'm like, I can't believe this, 8 o'clock or something. When you go to the Crown? I'm going on my own. I'm going to go with Phil Wang.

I thought my buddy's here. This is great. I'm calling a school night, though. I can believe it. Well, that's the thing. It's mastermind the next morning.

You were calling it a school night, and you would talk about the whole thing in school terms. Because the next morning we have the briefing. And there's all the celebs there, including the guy from the pottery throwdown show, cries all the time. And Michelle Gale, of course. And Michelle Gale was on my episode. And after we'd all been briefed, which is very, very serious, she said, I'm going to circulate. I'm going to meet some people. She said to me, I'm going to go around.

I'll be back in a minute. I'm going to speak to some people I haven't met before who are on the other episode, which goes all. way. I talk to someone else when she comes back. She's not as chipper as she was when she left me. She goes, do you know that, man? I look over, and Phil is sat apart from everyone else

on his own, on a seat, but with his legs together because he's balancing a folder on them, like a full, like, lever arch folder going through these laminated pages one by one very seriously. And she went, do you know that man? I went,

yes, that's Phil Wang. and she went, I said to him, do I have a chat? And he said, no, it's exam day. Just told me no,

it's exam day. Well, he's very serious about this, Michelle. I've known him for a while and he wouldn't go for a pipe with me last night because he had to revise.

And then he went on and he got all of them right but one. I got all my specialist subject. All your special subject right. 10 out of 10. And then I think you only got one wrong on the other one.

Absolutely, like, destroyed it. Yeah, of course. course, because you revised. I've got a photo on my phone of Phil doing this special to subject that I took in the green room of the TV, and it's just him looking the happiest I've ever seen anyone on a TV. Everyone else in

Mastermind, just looking shit scared, panicking. Phil just smiling, because he's done the work, and he's loving getting him all right. It was so fun, man. It was so fun just nailing those questions. You felt like. Boom, boom, boom. What did you feel like? I guess I felt like I can't.

That's actually how our wine gang came about. Yes. Because you wanted to revise for it and you'd met Freddy. Wow. I didn't know this. He works for the Wine Society and he suggested a meal. Well, because Freddie was the buyer there for New Zealand. Yeah. And he brought you a folder of stuff to notes. I brought his notes to Belfast.

Yeah, yeah. The very notes that infuriated Michelle Gale. Little did Freddie know. Yeah. One day these notes will piss off Michelle Gale. So when Michelle Gale came up to me, went, do you know that man? Before I looked over, I thought in my head, please be filmed. Do you know that man? Oh, this is Phil Wagon's going to be great.

Yep, there he is. I was the only one who brought notes to the morning meeting. I couldn't believe it. Yeah. I was the only one who brought notes to breakfast. You couldn't believe it? Guess what? The rest of us couldn't believe it either, Phil.

You're not the only one who couldn't believe it. We were like, does this guy know? It's a laugh. Celebrity mastermind. Meanwhile, James is asking me, do you think they'll let me bring a real ice cream on to set? That was the thing that he was really worrying about. I was like, if I don't know if I can bring a real ice cream.

ice cream on this. Yeah. Because you were doing history of ice cream. I thought it would be funny to sit down while they're eating an ice cream. Yeah. I thought it'd be really funny, especially because on Mastermind, they zoom in slowly on the guy being questioned. Yeah.

Or gal. Yeah. And it'd be so funny as if, as it's getting close to James, an ice cream just comes. Just rises from the bottom of the screen. He just basically like, you know, like, you're answering the question. Like, he needs it to understand the question. You were terrified, though. Yeah, I was terrified.

The amount of text I got from the dressing room. being like, why I've said yesterday, I've not revised, why didn't I do any revision? You did pretty well, considering. You got four of... I did quite well on it, yeah, but I was in the dressing room, I was completely like... I should have been more like Phil Wang.

Like, I would have lost a lot of friends, and I wouldn't have been popular here, but I would not be panicking as much as I'm panicking now, because I have not revised this whatsoever. So, yeah, just to clarify, the vodka lime is just vodka and lime cordial, and it's like a gin gimlet. I do like...

I like a gimlet very much. So I'm open to that. Really cold and in one of those small coupe glasses. Yes. Wow. And the level of the liquid is right flush with the top of the lip of the glass. Cocktails like that are when it helps to be the baby of the group. It's a small amount of baby.

I'm not a little sips. Little sips. You're one of those people who I look around and we're having a cocktail. 15 minutes into the cocktail. I look and you're still halfway through the cocktail. Me? I've got both my hands around it. Like when a kid is drinking juice.

It's a school night. Me, I'm getting that. That's gone. Martini, anything in a small coop, two sips gone. Really? Yeah, yeah, big time. Then I'm in space. Yeah, he's in space.

Around Christmas, Ed was going to space quite a lot. I was getting texts from him pretty much every day. Yeah. Because you went somewhere nice, I think, and every day you were like, text to me, I've just had a hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream in it. And then a separate text, I'm in space. the next day, I've just had an Irish coffee. Next text, I'm in space.

It was so good. To the point where it got to be that he was texting me what he'd had and then go in, guess where I am? Are you in space again? Houston, we have a problem. Lazy are just busting out all that stuff. Oh, yeah. It turns out I love a boozy hot chocolate and an Irish coffee. And I very rarely have Irish coffee, but it's so good.

It is, yeah, it turns out like sweet, boozy chocolate-y things are just mad, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. But it was cold and like there was a fire and the place we were in. It's all about beyond beyond. Off to space. Did I go to space this Christmas? Yeah. I think so.

I had some really nice... Why? Why? Because we're laughing because you've instantly adopted the phrase. I'm in space for meeting something and it's... But you just thought about it very seriously. I've gone, did I go to space this Christmas? Yeah.

Yeah. We must have. We love people adopting phrases and parrot in phrases anyway, but especially when you adopted it in a way that it's like you've been saying it all your life. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It makes sense. It instantly became completely normal to you. What took you to space this Christmas?

What took me to space this Christmas is I try and do the wine pairings for family Christmas. Beautiful. And before I always bring like a red for the turkey, for the main, like a light red. But this year I thought, I'm going to do chardonnay all the way. Whoa. So we started with the Blanc de Brin. Blanc champagne, which means only white grapes in the champagne, which is primarily, if not all, shard-

I think it is all... I think Bradley Walsh's hosting that now. Who's hosting that now? Blanc de Blanc. Very nice. I'm just chipping and say it. I think Blondeblanc has to be 100% chardonnay. I think it is.

Yeah, because the other grapes are Petit Migné, I think, and Penninoa. Pettinoa. Pettinoa. Pettinoa. And then... And then, for mains, I had two. Burgundy-style chardonnays one from New Zealand

from Camilla River which is meant to be the great Burgundian sort of white wine of the new world and then to compare that with the classic white burgundy from Pullini Montresche

do your family enjoy this because yeah because you are I've tried things like this with just my wife and my family sometimes oh yeah it's not my dad my dad would do this if I tried this shit with any

they'd be like, you're the most boring man in the world, stop ruining Christmas. Yeah, and Phil, just for the record, this was also going to be my question. I was about to ask it. It's astonishing how little people care about this. It reminds me of when I used to make mix tapes for people when I was growing up. I still am obsessed

in music, but I would be like, I want them to like every single thing, and know every single thing on them, and here's the tape, and then I'm going, thank you, I've never listened to this, and that'd be it. And I have to accept that as I get older. So I admire that you're like... You want them to know the connections between all the songs

and why you put this one after this one. Yeah. And that's what... So in that situation where you're telling everyone about the wine, how they all relate to each other, we're comparing these two. What are you doing, which is definitely happening? They're ignoring you and just talking and getting on with their Christmas. Do you get angry or do you just accept it's happening? I just slowly get quieter.

Yeah. I just get quiet, slowly quieter, and then I just stop talking. And then I pour... Yeah. I pour the wine. But I also do a thing when I'm talking while I'm pouring the wine to people, so that there's this implication that if you don't listen to me, you don't get any wine. Yeah.

That's the implication. I'm not saying it. Yeah, yeah. But that's the implication. You have to be in a position of power for the brief period where you want people to listen to you. This applies throughout life. If they talk to someone else about something else, do you stop pouring? I just stop pouring.

Yeah. I take their glass and I pour it back into the bottle. Get the fuddle out. I did that to you once because I know it annoys Charlie. So I will do things like I had two bottles. I accidentally across the period of five years bought two different bottles of Barolo, which was the same but different vintages five years apart.

Fascinating. And I said, well, we'll do a vertical tasting. Let's compare these vintages. Lucky lady. Yeah. She starts packing her bags. Yeah. It's awkward to be there for it.

Yeah. Finally left. Dessert time. Yum. And there's a bit of a story behind this, but it's quite simply a chocolate declare. Oh, yeah. I don't like shoe pastry. This is what I said to Jay Rainer, and he was not happy about it. Interesting. Yeah, I find shoe pastry, like, even when it's done right, it's kind of dry and papery and weird.

Totally agree. I don't dig it. Totally agree. Don't like shoe pastry. He said, you need to go to Matrix shoe. And not there anymore. And not there anymore. I always think, though, when you say someone, I don't like this type of food, and they go, well, you've got to go to this one place in the world. It's probably not good food. If there's one place in the world where the food is nice, then it is not good. Yeah, I don't like shoe pastry. I don't like Ecclars.

Because you did go. He told you go to make a shoe. Yeah, it was better than, because it was like quite thin shoe pastry. So the cream was really nice. Yeah. It's like sweetened cream. But I don't like Eclay's. So when they're all, the round ones where you buy them from like the supermarket

and they've got that shit cream in them, I hate that. The, um, the patissorol, what they call? Perfitol. Yeah. That's what I meant and I didn't say the name. But it's the same thing. It's the same thing, right and close. Yeah, yeah.

I loved the perfittoroles that we sold at the second pub that I worked at, the perfittoroles there. I was just going into the walking fridge pretty regularly and popping them in my mouth. Were they making their own perfiderales? No, they got them in, but they were just full. They were proper. And I would just like pop one in while I'm doing something. I'll be like, I've got to go round back and sweep up the walking fridge.

Prophidylos. Don't come in. If you hear chewing, that's me cleaning. Yeah. I make a strange chewy. I enjoy that a lot. I don't, I don't dig Claire's as a dessert. I think it's too insubstantial really.

And it's kind of too light and airy. kind of like airy and I think you can start something, start the meal with something cold and like airy and light. But to finish, a dessert is there to fill you up if the rest of the meal hasn't done so. It's there to just fucking, like, beat you, like, to death, like, just to knock you out to, like, fucking fill a space. So that's when you don't want to feel like a god

is when you get to dessert. Yeah, you want to feel. I want to be defeated by the dessert. You meant to... You want the dessert to be God. And that's why I love British desserts, I think. Like, Britain gets a lot of flak for its food, what the desserts are. It's so nice.

What we're talking? Benofi pie, the goat. Sticky toffee pudding. You're not hungry after sticky to eat. You're not hungry at all bread and butter pudding. Spotted dick. Spotted dick. A spotted dick.

Apple crumble, if you're feeling healthy. It's so good. It's so filling. And those are always the desserts I want at the end. Well, his reason for the chocolate Eclare was because his dad would bring back a load of stuff from the bakery for the family to eat on a whatever on Saturday. And he would have, won't you want a Claire? The dad would buy one of course, and it's for himself. And little Jay Rainer would be like, Daddy, can I have the Eclay?

No, that's my Eclare. So now it's a thing that he's always coveted. Well, now that there's a traumatic story behind him. How can I not? For Nickleare. Wow. Gosh. That's kind of a dark reason to want to Claire's.

Yeah, I guess originally when you told it it it didn't sound dark. I've made it sound... I think you did make it sound dark when he told you that. Did I? Yeah, I think you found it really funny. Well, I found it funny, but I was like, fuck that guy, who I guess is your dad, but like, you know, what's he doing, not getting to Eclay's.

But also, that's clearly maybe one of the things that's driven Jay Rainier's become a food critic that you can have whatever he wants it. So if anything, thank you, Daddy. Yeah, and you can say, I mean, this is everyone, isn't it? Yeah. Anybody can say, well, I think your, think whatever parent it is for the trauma that's led to you doing this job. Yeah.

It's a Claire-based trauma, though, which is one of the lowest forms of trauma. Yeah, at least for him, it's like, I just wasn't allowed in a Claire. My tap would eat one. There's still other stuff from the bakery as well. Yeah, he's still got some baked goods, but he doesn't care about those anymore. He just wants some of Claire, so he can eat and go. So do you can make your kids do the job you want them to do by giving them the appropriate traumatic experience about it? Yeah, I think so.

Like just not letting your kids have paracetamol and become doctors. Yeah, you've got access to... Not all the paracetamal I want. You can take the back of the computer out and fiddle around there and off their heads, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought you were trying to make someone like a computer scientist, yeah. Oh, no. No, no.

You fuck the computer up. You go in and fuck the computer up and go on. Fix that. Fix that. Otherwise, you can't play your video games. Yeah. You can't play Roman World or whatever you were. Roman World.

promoted. Roman World. If you played as much Romituttle War as I did, you would laugh so much at Roman World. The idea of it being called Roman World is hilarious.

Was there anything in your house growing up that was like Daddy has that and you can't have it? Um, um, um,

I, like a car. I was like, I wish I always wish as a kid I could drive places because in my grew up, There's no public transport. You have the gloves. I've had the gloves already.

Dad, why don't you've got bought this gloves? Let me drive the car. You can have the other glove when you're 18. Yeah, I think like just having a car and money, I was like, it feels very hard to do anything without a car in money. That's why I was... How old are you when you're saying this? Like six.

I was like... A little Phil wag walking about... It's so hard to do anything about cars and money. And do you drive now? Yeah. Yeah? I got a little car. Got a couple of quid.

Yeah. It worked out. But you think when you're driving along, you're like, I did it on my dad. Yeah. Who's the daddy now? In your face, Daddy. In your face, Daddy. I'm behind the wheel.

You couldn't stop me. I can go wherever I want. So cruel that he stopped you driving when you were six. Yeah. It's exactly the same as Jay Raider's dad, not buying a second to Claire. Dad, you can just buy another car. This is the problem here. What kind of car you got?

I've got a hybrid Toyota Yaris. Good for the environment. Good for the wallet. Bill Padded his wallet. That's beautiful. Well, Phil. Did you enjoy Jay's tasting menu? I really enjoyed Jay's tasting menu.

He's a man of fine taste, obviously, and it's nice to have the cabbage dish that I know so well. But I haven't had in a while. Oyster's big old fan. A little tiny, cold vodka cocktail in the middle of it, delicious. Spare ribs? Spare ribs. Forget about the main ribs. I'll take the...

And you're getting messy with those as well. My mouth is pulling the bone out. Like, I mean, like Flintstones or something. Was there a starch to go with the ribs? He didn't shout it out. No. Do you want to add one? I feel, I feel, yeah, I feel foolish

after my whole rant about bread. I'm now asking for starch. Okay. With the ribs, just some chips, I think, with ribs. some chips. Love it. I don't think we've, we've only done one of the tasting menu before, and I don't think we gave them a chance to add anything.

Oh. We didn't, no. But that's a new thing. I think you can upgrade one dish. Yeah, it should be an upgraded dish. But Phil's a god. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Phil's a god in this.

So you've got to let Phil do what he wants to some degree. Yeah. The other person we had on was John Kern, so barely a man. So. And the secret ingredient for Jay, which would have gotten kicked out of the restaurant, was hairy crackling,

which I don't know if you think that's fair. Do people specify hairy crackling? Yeah. Well, in terms of what they don't like, yeah. It's a huge genre in the don't like. Yeah, yeah, massive. Very popular in don't likes. I made some chicken crackling once.

You ever made the chicken crackling? I see it on Instagram quite a lot. So nice. Do you have to scrape the chicken skin? That seems to be what people do. That's why I realize they have to do because I put a picture of this chicken crackling up on Instagram and people just like,

Because all the little, like, bits of... The gelatinous bit, like, hairs and the feathers and stuff were still on it. The feathers? Not the feathers. But I don't know what the smallest bit of the feather stem is. Like the... Like the pimples. Yeah, there's something of little chicken hair coming out of the pimples there.

So you took that photo. Yeah. You looked at it, I guess, before you posted it. Yeah. And did you think delicious? Yeah. Posted it. And then you were surprised at the comments that were like, that's disgusting.

Yeah, I just expected people be more open. Unminded, then clearly they are. So you wouldn't mind Harry Crackling, I'm guessing. Yeah. Right on, give it to me. Yeah. I've had Crackling where the brand is still on the skin. You know, the brand on the pig that they got...

Oh, God. Yeah, yeah. Are you... Why am I upsetting you so much today, right? If you eat hairy crackling, are you chewing it around in your mouth and spitting all the hairs out? Yeah. Yeah. Make you a little toupee out of it?

Wearing it to the buffet. Phil, thank you. so much for coming back to the dream restaurant. We hope you enjoyed your tasting menu. It's been so nice to return after all this time. So happy to see the restaurant doing so well. Thank you both for having me so much. Oh, and Phil, that's, sir, it's, that will be £200 and 12 pence. What? What? You've started charging? Yeah, £200, £12, please, Phil. For Jay's meal? Yeah, yeah. Cough up. What? It's cash, cash only. Cash only. Well, we are really trying to lead you to this callback.

All you have to do is say that you're going to pay with exact money. Well, I have 200. Instead, you're such a frifty bastard. You think you have to pay. You can't break out of the fantasy. You're like, what the? I wasn't told I had to pay. We're looking at Ben desperately.

Ben, this isn't fair? Bill can't pay $200,012. Bill can't improv when even fake money's involved. We can give it in more detail to try to lead him to the callback. An exact change, Phil. Bad, please! Did you know Phil wanted to buy a wine fridge and it took him three years to make the decision?

It wasn't three, it was two. It was two years. Was it? Yeah, he was about that one. The B-boy. I got it eventually, yeah. And are you happy with it? It's thrilled.

I should have got it ages ago. There you go. Thank you so much, Phil. Thanks, guys. Thank you so much to Phil for coming back. Back to the Dream Restaurant to have Jay Rainer's tasting menu. How much he's grown over the years, Phil? Hasn't he just.

He loves feeling like a god now. That wasn't, when he first came on. Never said he liked to feel like a god. Never said it. He loves wine now. Loves wine, knows all about wine, knows everything about wine. The fact that not only, when he relived that wine tasting menu that he put on for Christmas, not only did he know that for Christmas, but he recited it to us like word perfect.

Yes. Here's the history of them all. Here's what order they were in. here's where they're from. I was like, I don't think I know that much about anything anymore. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. It's too late for me to start learning about stuff.

Yeah. All I'm doing now is shedding knowledge that I've built. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get rid of it. Maybe let something, you know, live in the head for a little bit. Yeah, but not useful stuff. No. No, never useful stuff.

Never anything useful. Yeah. The new thing in the head, of course, is pouring tree over pig. Which, you have a pet named pig. Do have a pet named pig? I don't want to pour a tree on that guy. He doesn't go outside. He'd be so shocked.

Yeah, and he really hasn't matter. And also, I'm not putting maple syrup on that guy. He's so hairy. Yeah, yeah, that would be a huge mistake. Yeah, it would take years to get that out. Then you'd end up with a cat that looks like mine. Yeah. But it's so fun to talk to Phil.

Well, that was a great episode. It was lovely. Thank you so much, Phil, for coming on. And Jane Rayner, if you're listening, I hope that you're happy. Yes. With Phil's response to, I mean, you've got to be happy. Yeah. He says that he thinks about you.

When he ever eats an oyster, he makes your cabbage at home. He is a fish. fan. You know, he was a little bit harsh on the Eclare, but you could take some criticism, Jay. Yeah. Stop dishing it out if you can't take it, mate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it, mate. Wow. And don't forget Phil is on tour with his brand new show. Uh-oh. Go to philwang.com.com.uk for tickets. It's going to be fantastic.

We will see you again soon for either a traditional off-menu or another off-menu tasting menu. Or maybe we'll have a fourth idea. Uh-oh. Two years time. Uh-oh. Bye-bye. Bye.