Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Regé-Jean Page

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

‘Bridgerton’ star Regé-Jean Page has a table booked at the Dream Restaurant this week. Or is that an April Fool? Regé-Jean Page stars in ‘You, Me & Tuscany’ which is released in UK cinemas on 10th April. Follow Regé-Jean on Instagram @regejean Watch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube on Thu 2 Apr.Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcastFollow Off Menu on Instagram and TikTok: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster.Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Video production by Ben Williams and Megan McCarthy for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is James A. Caster. I'm on tour with my show. James A. Caster. We've added some extra London dates on the, I want to say, first and second of August at the Royal Festival Hall. And also, the Blackpool dates, which are pretty soon, actually. What? They're not sold out. Come, please buy tickets to the Blackpool one.

And there's some offers as well that still aren't sold. Glasgow Springs to Mind. Newcastle springs to mind also. So come and see the show. I'm very proud of it. Ed's yawning. Tickets at James A.caster.com. Welcome to the off-menu podcast,

taking the alphabeti spaghetti of conversation, pouring it into the pan of podcasting, heating it up with the flame of friendship, ladling that alphabetti spaghetti onto the plate, and it spells one thing, O-F-F-M-E-N-U, the off-menu podcast.

That went from just being the shi-est one you've done, the best one you've ever done. Thank you very much. I knew what point I was hitting at the end. That is Ed Gamble. My name is James A Cassett. Together. We own a dream restaurant

in every single week. We invite in a guest and asking their favour ever start a main course dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is Regé Jean Page. A wonderful actor, James.

I first became aware of Regé Jean Page in Bridgeton, of course, where a lot of the world became aware of him for the first time, I believe. Yeah, I remember seeing him in the Grey Man. That was the first time I saw him. Yeah. Is that post Bridgeton there?

Yeah, but I haven't seen Bridgeton. Oh, yeah. It's crazy that I've not seen Bridgeton. And it's for no good reason. I've got no excuse. Yeah. And I should watch it. We've had a lot of Bridgeton people on this very pot.

Yeah, I should save it up. Yeah. And watch all of it. But yeah, I've seen Regé elsewhere. Yes. So very excited. And very excited to watch Yumi and Tuscany. Yes, Regé's brand new film starring alongside Hallie Bailey.

It's a great rom-com. Yes. Looking forward to seeing it very much. But even though we're looking forward to seeing you, me and Tuscanyi and Vegee Jean-Géé page is a fantastic character. We will have to kick him out if he says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable. And this week, the secret ingredient is reggae reggae sauce.

Had to be. We haven't had anyone on who's called reggae before. So, of course, we would choose reggae, reggae sauce. I would be surprised if reggae chooses this. Yeah, you would have felt like he maybe had that joke made about his name before. Yeah. So he probably wants to avoid it at all costs. Although it's a wonderful source.

Wonderful song. Wonderful song, loved Levi Roots' first appearance on Dragons Den. That's where I became first aware of him. What about you? Oh, yeah, I knew his early, but I knew him from the Notting Hill Carnival. Yeah, so I already know him. Yeah, yeah, you were in at the ground floor with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. But a classic moment of British television, if you're listening overseas. Yes. Try and watch Levi Roots on Dragonsden, and you two will want to invest. Good. So we've plugged Regé's new film. We've plugged Levi Roots on Dragon's Den. I'm going on tour next year.

Tickets available now at gamble.com. UK. UK and Ireland tour. Fresh hell. It's April Fool's Day if you're listening. Yeah. When it goes out. When this episode goes out, it's April Fool's Day.

Behave yourself. No, I'm going to... You know, this is the one day of the year. I can't behave myself. But it's not that day of the year now. I can't behave... Huh? It's March for us.

Yeah, currently it's March. But like, this is going to go out on April 1st. But that doesn't mean you can... You know, you know. you know that us people who love April Fool's Day pranking.

We're pranking, we can't help ourselves. When I know this is going on April Fool's Day, I've got the I've got the imp in me. But that means I'll let you have the imp in you because we're recording for April 1st but when it is April 1st for you in real life, no pranks.

You don't make the rules, man. You squares don't get to dictate how the imps. Okay, the rules are you can't do April Fool's in March. So then no April Fool's. But I'm happy to do it. changed the rules slightly, but there's no April Falls for you on April Day. You seem to be under the impression that you make the rules.

You're not an imp. I think I'll make the rules on this pod. You're not an imp. Benito, back me up here. Benito makes the rules. So on April, April Fool's Day, no April Fool's Day, if he chooses to nominate this as this April Fall Day, because this is going on April Fool's Day. James, he doesn't care. He says he doesn't care. Okay. I mean, we must have known that was going to be the response. Mad if he cared about anything.

Yeah. On the pod. On the pod. He cares about some stuff. He cares about syncing up the audio. Yeah. Toast. He cares about his dog toast.

Yeah, but that's not on the pot. That's not pod related. Roller coasters. He cares about the roller coasters. I guess I'm going to assume he cares about his marriage. Yeah. Probably paying the bills. Paying the bills he cares about.

I think he cares about it. I think the kind of guy thinks about that. More than he cares about the rules of the pod. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the off menu menu of On page! Welcome Reggae to the Dream Restaurant!

Hey, thanks for having us. Welcome! I actually scared you there. It was not so much... it was a little overwhelmed. Sorry. It's not generally how restaurants... Welcome, Megan Gonday to the Dream Restaurant, but it's funny you for some time. Flashfax, been blown up in a restaurant before.

Yeah? Yeah, first film job ever did. I had like five lines, and then we got blown up in a restaurant in Bulgaria. Wow. Oh man, gutted. Yeah. So, you know, thanks for bringing that. that back up. I appreciate it. What was the film? What, literally, guss it. Just bits everywhere.

Capaccio Alaregay. I thought that was the name of the film for a second. That is the first time I've referred to myself in the third person today. Really? Today. Today. Yeah, yeah. You've done it before. We tried to slip one in every day.

Like, where's one? Yeah, you got it. A third person reference. What was the film, though? It was called Survivor. It was Amelia Jovovich and Pierce Brosnan. Really? With guns, I think.

Yeah. And you didn't survive. survive. I did not survive. You were not the titular survivor. I was the example of how not to be the star. I was the stakes. Yeah,

yeah, you know, sometimes you've got a dead girlfriend or something, and I was just dead kind of expendable. I was an expendable at survival. Were you in, were you sort of like a dead girlfriend flashback?

Were you, you know, when it's always under the covers when they think about it. No, it was more like him, you know, the rookie cop,

the ingenue. Yeah. They're just like, ah, that kid's got moxie, he's got, oh, he's dead. Yeah.

It was that, it was that kind of, But did your death drive the main character? Yeah, it was a great motivation. That's good. That is good. Look at me, look at this face. It says motivation. Yeah, yeah. Motivation and death. That's what's on my CV.

Horse riding, sword fighting, motivation and death. Did you do the classic thing you hear from a lot of actors where you put things like horse riding and sword fighting on the CV before you can do them? Yes, absolutely. And then you just learn if you have to do it. That's what acting is. You pretend to do things, including on your CV. That's how I sell it to myself. No, I've done that more than the CV.

a couple of times. I can horse right now. Yes. But haven't for a little while, so who knows if I still can. Yeah. Have done sword fighting. Haven't for a little while. Who knows if I can? Yeah. Can be blown up. Yeah. In restaurants, if necessary. Yeah. Don't recommend it. No. Have you ever actually scared anyone with that? Been blown? Oh. Yeah. Normally I'm scaring with Popper doms or bread. Yeah. I can scare them with that. But like, I'm trying to think if I've actually scared someone with that opening, maybe.

Well, you're right. That's not the normal. welcome to a restaurant. It's not a normal restaurant. You wouldn't... If you walked in and the waiter screamed like an explosion sound effect at you, it wouldn't feel like a good welcome, would it? I mean, the visual was, I imagine, like, party streamers and, like, confetti and, like, it felt celebratory.

That's nice, because it's James bursting out of a lamp because he's the genie. But we've never had... I like the idea of rubbing a lamp and streamers come out with the genie. Yeah. He's a lovely... He's a Soho genie. Yeah, he's a Soho genie. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Genie with legs, or Genie kind of still kind of with the trail going into the tip of the line? Well, I'm kind of your genie, so however you see me, really? I don't see the legs. No. Do you know what I mean? Like, when genies just have, like, the trailing bit. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I can imagine a genie with legs, to be honest.

I think it would freak me out. I mean, the genie has legs. Like Robin Williams is. Sometimes. Sometimes he has legs. Yeah, and sometimes he plays both sides. Yeah. He plays both genie sides.

Yeah. I wouldn't like it. If I rubbed a lamp and a genie came out with legs, I'd say, I don't want any wishes from you. Wrong kind of genie. I don't trust you. It's a bit genie discriminatory. Yeah. Well, in the genie world, there's still a lot of things to be sorted out.

Do you feel like he used up one of your wishes on his own legs? Yeah. Hang on, I didn't wish for those legs. So you'd have to wish for no legs? Yeah, and that's my second wish. It's a little bit upstairs, downstairs that. It's like, you, servant, you don't get to use your powers for legs. I demand that you are chained to the lamp.

Look, it's difficult. I mean, the genie lamp-rubber relationship is quite fraught with. There's a lot of discussions to be had around that, I think. So. Lamp rubber. I was about to say you yelled out from like the terrace as a football, lamp rubber. Yeah.

Sounds like the genie should be in charge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't know when a lamp rubber gets to call the shot. That sounds like a right little... What would you, what would you call the person?

Well, as the genie, I'll call the master. Oh, yeah. Of course. Hey, I can't help it. I'm a genie, man. All right, first wish, stop calling me master.

Okay, well. First wish, come up with a better term for the master for me. Okay. What are you thinking? Yeah, we can be on first name, basis, that works? I just don't want you to... I'm going to call you Regé Jean for the whole

podcast. Are you going to play the genie for the whole podcast? Yeah, I kind of tend to go in and out of it. Usually. So mainly, yeah, like legs sometimes, no legs, up at times. Oh yeah, but still in the genie. Has anyone else called you a genie at this point? Or have I completely made this up?

Oh, no, other people call me genie in the past. And I want you use your genie powers to do this for this meal. You know, like, some people are like, use your genie powers so I'll never get full, use them so I can have gluten, use them so that I'm in Barbados for this course, you know. Excellent, good genie.

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes, like, if an item on a menu has been discontinued and they want to have it again, I can do that. You discontinue items in this restaurant? In the world. In the real world. Like, if you're a local restaurant. Hang on, you're a genie in the real world.

The rules of this are getting really weird. I'm a genie in all worlds. You're a genius. You're a genius. We're in our world, but also the real world exists. in which James is a genie. In which James... Yes, I guess he is a genie in the outside world as well.

He's a magical man. He's very committed. He's very method, James. Method genie. He sleeps in a lamp. He sleeps in a... Yeah, I'm very, very method. I'm allowed to...

Have you been to Stone Cave in Cloakamwell? No. It's like a cafe that's decorated as a stone cave. It's like a breakfast spot. Yeah. And it feels like... I'm imagining that in my head. Like, you built a life-sized lamp

with just like rugs and bean bags. It feels like where I'd find... It's where I imagine people imagine comedians live Is in a lamp somewhere Just something, just an odd environment In which your creative juices can breed magic Yeah, it's difficult to imagine I mean, me less so I think

But it's difficult to imagine James in a normal house, isn't it? I don't know if I don't want to say that to his face It's all right Look, you know the vibe I don't generally imagine James in many places Yeah Regan knows your vibe, it came in this morning and said that he's the only person he's ever bought comedy from.

Bought my comedy. I appreciate it. I bought your comedy. I bought your comedy on Vimeo, which is a really weird. It was a weird move. It was, I mean, to be honest, weird moves. Sorry, I feel like I'm leaving you out of the whole. Please leave me out. Would you like to be a genie? I'm not a genie. No, I'm the human somelier. You're the matri-D? I'm the matri-D. I'm the matri-D. I'm the matri-D. I'm the matri-D. You're very human on this, but you've been the human quality to the pod.

I'm the human. I was doing an interview this morning, and someone described me and James as Tess and Claudia. And I'm more Tess and James is more Claudia. This is a fun game. Just before we went on, I called you an affigato. Lord knows why, sorry. And you were the coffee.

I'm the coffee and James is the ice cream. Which I think makes sense as well. I'd love to be fun ice cream, but also coffee gives people a boost, doesn't it? Coffee brings it more growing up. It is a little more grown up. I think that's what it is. Yeah, I'm grown up. But also, I'm the sort of go-between, sometimes between James and the guest.

But I don't have to do that today because you're already aware of James's vibe because you paid for his comedy. Whereas sometimes if we have an American guest on, there's a lot of translation issues that I have to deal with. You've shouted popadop. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it goes bad sometimes. But you've, yeah. Do you want to know this? The money that you pay for my comedy?

Most likely, I spent that on an affigato. There you go. And that's how you got here. Yeah. Oh, he pays me. He purchased you in Africa Spaced you between him and guests to stop either of us mawling each other's faces off.

But I'll tell you what, Reggie Jean, I'm going to spend my money on a ticket to go and see you, me and Tuscany. Excellent. That's how James is saying it, is that correct? It's the first person to pronounce it that way, and I like it. I like it a lot. No, no, you got to get the rhythm.

You, me and Tuscany. Yeah, it's pop of rhymes. I saw a trailer for this in America. I was in a cinema in New York watching another film. this is the trailer beforehand. Yeah, which film? I was watching Send Help.

Oh, wow, we're coming in before Send Help. Yeah, you were. Yeah, very different vibes. I feel like we're a great chaser to that. Like, if you're feeling traumatized, you can come out and go, you know what, I want to go to Tuscany after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was quite a nice little vibe switch before the film.

But when you came on screen in the trailer, someone shouted, damn, from the back of the cinema. A lady shouted it. A lady shouted. Yeah, yeah. A lot more folks. in the cinema in America.

It is. We had a screening on Monday here and they were actually the most vocal crowd we've had so far. Really? Really proud of London. Because our producer was like, man, I was expecting that stay London crowd. They were loud. We were rep in London. I was really repridden. That's good.

They were loving you in the trailer. So imagine what it's going to be like when the full film were you? Were you loving me in the trailer? I was, of course. Did you turn around and shush the lady? I said, stop shouting, damn. That's regéjejejean. Be respect. Yeah, show some goddamn respect.

Yeah, yeah, of course I was loving the trailer. I gave it a standing ovation. Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, I don't do that for many trailers. Best tagline in the film. Best tagline we've ever had. I'm going to read it so I'd get it right. Yep.

She came for the pasta and got lost in the sauce. It's like it's made for a food podcast. I know, it's perfect. She came for the pasticle. A lot of people are enjoying that tagline. Not bad. I don't know who came up with it, but they're clearly sitting home very, very smart.

right now. They did their job. Yeah. Like, people talk about the trailer, they talk about damn, and they talk about the person. It's got one of my favorite things. And I haven't seen this in a film for a while, and I always love this in rom-coms, where someone tells a lie, and the lie just completely gets away from them. Yes. Like, to the nth degree. So this person says that she's engaged to someone that she's not. And then the whole family embraces her into the family. family. And then you come along. She's like, uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Fancy this guy, but I'm pretending to be engaged to someone else. It's a lovely setup. I hope you've seen it. Joe Waiter reminds me of, and I love this film, while you were sleeping. Remember that? Yeah. I don't remember that. You know I don't remember films. Why It was so good. So I'm very excited about this. She's watched it. While you were sleeping. Yeah. I watched it while you were sleeping. And that's when I watch films. I wait to

to let's asleep. That's not the Bobcat Goldthwaite one about. No. No. I don't even know what he's talking about. The Bobcat Goldthwaite one. I'm not even sure those are words. What's going on? Bobcat Goldthwaite is a wonderfully talented comedian and he's made some great films.

One of them is about, I think, someone who performed a sex act on their dog. Have you seen that one? Let sleeping dogs lie. That's what I'm thinking of. It doesn't sound like you did. It's a good film. There's also World's Best Dad,

which is Robin Williams is in that one. That's pretty dark. I'm not going to... I won't mention that other one. That's pretty dark compared. let sleeping dogs like ERA, what I'm going to be still. Yeah, yeah. I remember. A line that gets out of hand.

It's a great setup for you, OV. Yeah, yeah. More than anything else, because rom-coms in particular are a great vehicle for escape. I think there's a lot of what we're doing here. It's this idea of, like, giving people the excuse to live a life outside of their own. Like, it's a big what if, you know what I mean?

Like, you're stuck. The best rom-coms usually someone's stuck in a rut. Like, my favorites, it's sleepless in Seattle, where unusually it's the man who's stuck in the rut. and then his chaotic child brings him out of it. And in this movie, she's stuck in a rut. She goes, never mind, I was going to buy a ticket to Tuscany and he's squat in someone's house. We had like a synopsis.

Someone had written a synopsis for the movie. And they described her as a squatter. And I was like, it's not how I would have, not the word I would have chosen to sell our rom-com. I'm like, yeah, she sleeps in something, she breaks into his house because he like told her where it is. And it's funny and romantic in the movie. Squatting, less so. That is the definition of squatting. It is the definition of squatting.

It feels like a Google Transatlantic. translate of the synopsis. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's not what you want to be thinking about when you go into the film. It's not called like squat for love or something. Exactly. I feel like that was on the whiteboard and it got crossed out pretty quickly. Almost immediately. Someone started writing it and don't even finish writing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

So you're excited for people to see this? Extremely excited for people to see it. Really, really excited. I've seen a few people see it now. It's the first time I'd seen the finished movie with an audience in London, which is a bit of a risk because everyone's scared of British audience. because we have a reputation for being emotionally restrained. Yes. But the joy of this screening was that I think because we are emotionally restrained, when people give us an excuse to express ourselves, we go nuts. That's good.

Like we're always looking for an excuse to open the gates and go, I have feelings! And then go back to zipping up the upper lip or whatever things that we do. So no, people had a really, really great time. I think, low-key, I think that the world is a little bit depressed, is pushing it, but it's a little rough out there in the world. and the idea of having places to go where it's like, well, I do believe in reflecting the world as it is, but I also believe in reflecting the world as it could be.

And I think that realism can straddle both lines of that line. And I think this is a type of movie that does that. It's the idea of, I think I've been saying to a couple of people, like, it's not like the Princess Bride, like, Tuscany is real. You can leave the sinner and buy your ticket and actually go, and it does look like that. Like, we went out there, we shot in Tuscany, and you wake up every morning, and it looks like it's not real. There's a painting outside your window.

You run through the rolling golden fields. I was down the road from where they shot, that opening shot a gladiator. Oh, yeah. Where else the crow runs his hand through, I went to the field. It looks like that. Did you run?

Run your hand around? Of course, I did. Of course. Absolutely crazy. You can't go past me. Nah. Not going to do that. Why would I?

Yeah. But not, the first time I went by, because I was there for months before we shot, because I had to kind of dig in, because my character is Italian and British, and wanted to make sure that, like, the Italian felt real and lived in, and I do lots and lots of Italian speaking in the film, which I don't remember any of, by the way.

So I was there when the fields were still, like, green, and they looked like a Miyazaki painting. Like, it was amazing. And so by the time it turned golden, we'd come back, because we shot in Rome in Chinatita, where they do, like, all the Feliti films, like the historical studio, came back, the seasons are changed. It's beautiful in both seasons. Sunsets are incredible. The hills are incredible.

The heat is incredible. The food is amazing. by the way. And so our job was just kind of to sit in that environment, soak up as much as we could, and then just put it on screen and bring it home so you can be like, I want that. And then hopefully fill you with enough joie de vivre, which is the wrong language for this promo tour, that you desire to go out and actually do it because you can. And then that way you get from the world as it is to the world as it could be,

and everyone's happier. So basically, I'm saving the world with a rom-com. You are. Yeah. It's very important. And I don't know, with actors, you've learned Italian for this film and now can't remember. It's mad. Like, do you think there's a certain type of person? Like, masochists. Well, I wanted to be able to do something like that, completely invest yourself in something to do the job.

And then as soon as you finish, somehow you managed to wipe your brain ready for the next thing you're doing. Yes. But, I mean, the childish way that I sum that up when I wanted to become an actor was like, I wanted to be more like Boba Fett. And I will explain this So I was making music when I was a teenager I was flirting with the music industry

And I decided that somehow acting Look like a more stable career class Because I reckon on the ladder of exploitation It goes like modelling, music, acting I'm not quite sure where comedy falls Below that I think I actually dread to think Yeah

Where we are I don't think we're even in the same sphere To be honest Yeah, I think that's the joy of comedians. You're not in the same sphere. No, we're not in the same sphere. You bring wonderful things from outside the sphere. Yeah, looking through the window and taking the piss.

Yeah, but you need that. You need to listen through the window and take the piss. It's not far off the acting thing. But, like, so the Boba Fett of it all is that I didn't like always being the same. You know how, like, Madonna, like, reinvents herself every 10 years or whatever? I didn't like having to reinvent the same thing. I wanted to be more like a session musician. I wanted to be a gun for hire.

I was come in and have a certain set skills and do a job and immerse myself in the world and like be Italian for a while and then leave the studio and then go live a completely different life I want to be an astronaut the next week or like president a week after that or you know what I mean?

Yeah. You'd be a good president. Yeah. Have you played a president? Yeah. Oh, I don't think... No, I don't think I have. I've played a couple of princes and things.

Yeah. But no, not a president. Also, possibly because we'd have a president here so I'd have to convince the Americans to let me play president. They would love that. You'd be going to do it. They would love it. They would love you to play president.

Yeah, but they like quite paternal figures for president. Like you've got to get to like Morgan Freeman age. You know what I think. No, I think you could be a sort of hot shot young president. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Do the Hugh Grant, but for the Americans. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, yeah, I'll pitch that. You got to do to the Americans. Yeah, absolutely. It's like, you know, you know what Hugh Grant did for the prime minister ship? Yes. Yes. Prime ministership. I want to do that for the White House.

It's the only bit of love actually that I think I like. Yeah. But also, this is how I picture it is how they get their revenge on the Brits because he like gives Billy Bob a dressing down. That's it. That's the best bit. And it's like, this is how we get them back. It's like, hey, you know what the Brits need?

A bit humbly. Yeah. Why don't you get a young hot shot president to dress down their prime minister for hitting on your staff that you were planning to take advantage of? Yeah. It's hitting on Martin McCutcheon. Yeah.

Tiffany from EastEnders. Yeah, that's Tiffany from Eastenders. How dare you? We will start with still a sparkling water, Reggae. Do you have a preference? I do. Controversially, it's probably sparkling water. Now, why is this controversial? Because I feel like people judge you for sparkling water. They're like, what's wrong with water?

Why are you putting stinging fizzies in there? Sting fizzies? Some people say bubbles, but I enjoy that stingy fizzies is now in the Mexican. I think that's what a trainer of mine called it once. He was like, I don't get sparkling water. I think everyone's lying. No one enjoys it. It's water that hurts.

Yeah. which I thought was a great. What a sensitive mouth that guy had. He was a sense. He is a sensi. He wasn't, it wasn't was a sensi. He's still alive. He's a sensi.

He's a lovely, you know, like large, lovely men? Yes. Like, he's absolutely massive, terrifying to look at and the softest, like, mounted dog. You have a person. No. They must do if it's stingy fizzies that guy. No, leave him below.

Sensitive mouth. This was a sensitive mouth. It was a stinging fizzies. Stingy fizzies sounds like something like the character in Clockwork Orange would say. Yeah. It's how they would talk about... It's very clockwork orange.

It's how they would talk about fizzy water. They go, there's stingy fizzies. There's stinging fizzies. Yeah. And then they make someone up. Imagine you as a clockwork orange genie. Oh, I don't want to know. You do have a slight clockwork orange vibe.

Yeah, it's not... I can imagine you in the outfit, right? You see it, right? Yeah, I totally see it. There's a rhythm to... Like, stingy fizzy sounds like something that will come up in the Clockwork Orange or possibly in a James Acaster show.

Yeah, yeah. Would you say before? You pay for that. There's a bit of crossover. You pay for that on Bimia. Yeah. Like, we're talking... I don't know if I want to be...

I'm treading carefully, because I don't want to be associated with those guys. No, linguistically, we're only talking linguistically. We're not saying you'd beat anyone to death with the massive knob. You know, you linguistically, you're like... Clockwork Orange. Nearly said chocolate orange. I'm totally in the mode of food.

Linguistically, a chocolate orange. That's a great tagline for a poster. I'm not going to lie. Not as good. She came for the past, and got lost of the sauce. Is food a part of the film? Massive part of the film.

So there's a lot of food scenes. So she's a chef in the film. Hallie Bailey, the great Hallie Bailey, by the way. Does a wonderful job in this movie. Have you ever met Hallie? No. She is one of the most infuriating nice human beings. Nice human beings on the planet.

You know, when you see people and you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and it turns out that the other shoe is made out of fairy dust and slowly floats to the ground. It just, she's one of those people, like, she walks around and just, sunshine comes out of her paws and people are happier that she's there. It's impossible not to be charmed by this woman.

She's a great protagonist in that sense, where you root for her. You want to live this fantastical escape through her. And the vehicle for that is she plays a chef. So she's a chef in New York who's not living up to her dreams and part of her journey to Wesley, other than bumping into me and falling in love, which is spoilers, but it does happen. Awful rom-com if that doesn't happen. Awful. You're like, oh, wow, meet you, and then...

Nothing? Oh, it's a com. It's just com. It's a sad com. It's not a sad com. It's a happy com. It's a happy com. Happy com.

Hit every lens with happy com. She came for the pasta. She did get the sauce. She got the sauce. And she learns to be a chef in Italy. She realizes her inner chef. And she learned... Real Hallie Bailey, real life, learned from the iron chefs, which is a thing that I don't know what they are,

but she does. It's a very big deal. Huge show, Iron Chef. There we go. So she trained with them, learned how to chop like a chef and looked like she knows what she's doing as a chef. And she's very passionate about food in real life, so she's into her cooking and the characters really into cooking.

And so you're meant to fall in love with a few things in this film, like the lead couple, like you live vicaracy through them, and you're meant to fall in love with the landscape, Tuscanee, otherwise known as Tuscanee to everyone else. And you're meant to fall in love with the food. And the food is incredible. And I think a couple of days into filming, We had like, you know, the props department were doing an all right job with the food.

And there was, typically as Italian chefs are, they tend to be very disapproving men. They're lovely and very generous and loving. But they often do this through disapproval. And so they were looking at the food going, no, no, no, no. And so, like, we're shooting in a real restaurant, and the guy whose restaurant it is, is watching and looking at the movie food and just slowly dying. And then he offered to step in for a second. And you're like, can I make you something? And then I think that we just kind of roped him in for the whole film

because his food was absolutely stunning. I love the disapproving Italian chefs. My favorite genre of video is people snapping pasta in front of their Italian partners. Breaking the spaghetti in half. You think that they're like they're hamming it up. No, but they're genuinely like they'll have the camera hidden in the kitchen and then they'll snap the spaghetti and they go mad. I've never heard him say this before.

It's very nice, and I'm glad, you know, it's very nice to hear it. But it's not his favourite genre of a video. Oh, yeah. Top five Karen's. Top five Karen's. What's top five Karen's? Just like compilation videos of, like, Karen freakouts. Right, I see.

Which is related to pasta freakouts. Sure. It's not a million miles. These are people freak out. These are Italian Karen's. This is the... Yeah, yeah. I feel that the motivation's different.

The motivation's different. The motivation is different. The motivation is if you freak out of a pasta. I understand the pasta one more than a lot of these top five carrons. They snap the pasta in front of them. I don't get these videos. Well, you're not supposed to. That's like a crime in Italy to snap the dry pasture in half to fit it into the pan.

Got you. And the outsider's perspective is like, oh, aren't the Italian sensitive and funny? Because what we're doing is breaking pasture and having a full on emotional breakdown. But the equivalent is, I think if we're translating, it's the videos that the rest of the world enjoys of making tea badly in front of Brits. There you go. Put the milking first. That sort of stuff. It's the equivalent. It's like, okay, so I'm just going to put this cup of hot water in the microwave with the tea bag in it.

in a cup of milk, not water. And watching Brits cry over that would be the same video. But it's a lot more romantic when the Italians freak out about the pasta. It's more romantic when the Italians do most things. Yeah, the gestures and all. It's fun to watch. You put a tea in the microwave video. I don't want to see that.

Some bloke, you know, you made that tea wrong. Poplar on bread. Poplar on bread. Poplar bread. I don't like this, Jeannie. I had to go big. You knew it was coming. We mentioned it earlier.

We'd seeded it. Yeah, half the forms of bread. Bread, please. I would like bread. I think there's a lot of places we can go with bread. I think I've been surprised by which type of bread turns up in a restaurant. Well, we could go to Italy for your dream bread, of course.

And the other joy of Italy is that you never quite know what you're getting because every region does everything completely differently. And they are very passionate about it. And every other region does it terribly. Which is the same as the UK, by the way. Like, one of the things I explained to my American friends is that we have so many accents, because you travel 20 miles, and you have hundreds of years of history of everyone hating each other.

So we speak differently, and we want to know that you're not us, and we know that we hate you because of how you pronounce that vowel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like that in Italy, but with food. It's like, you make that pasta that way. Oh, you are an absolute savage. We roll it like this. And so likewise, you get lots and lots of different breads. Never taste a bread like that in my life.

It is fantastic everywhere. My favorite hobby while I was in Tuskney was just getting in the car, driving. There were all these tiny little hamlets of like 800-year-old buildings. Like maybe there'd be two restaurants per hamlet if you were lucky and maybe 30 buildings. And so you just kind of pick one at random and just eat whatever it is that none is cooking in the back. It's usually like someone's grandma

or like a married couple just running this tiny restaurant and just discover what pasta is here or what the bread is here or what everyone grows their own olives. It's like a nation of Jeremy Corbyns except instead of like courgettes. It's olives. Everyone's got their allotment, but it's a rolling Tuscan field. I don't know why Corbyn came to mind.

No, that's sure. Everyone in Italy not saying how they voted in elections and Brexit. They refused to say. Not quite Corbyn's actually. They refuse to tell people how they voted. But they enjoy their garden. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Which is not in the top five things I would even think of with Corbyn, to be honest. It was the first thing I thought. I thought that's a man that makes jam. I did an episode of Mock the Week once, and that was the picture of the week once, was Corbyn with a massive marrowing, and we had to come up with... See, that's probably why.

Come up with little funny things about it. Yeah. I think of sitting on the floor of the train that time. Do you remember that? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's low-hanging fruit jokes about marrows. Yeah, we got in...

We absolutely did, and you can probably... It's not going to watch it on YouTube. We absolutely tore in one. And then I think the next story was that Trump was running for president. We're like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Brexit's not going to happen. Yeah, yeah. The world is great.

He's got a marrow. And therefore we made a film about Tuscany. Yes. Because we wanted to think about sunshine and rolling gold videos and Russell Crow on a vengeance mission in the background. That'd be great if it's like,

yeah, there was little scenes of Russell Crow and he's kind of still his character from Gladiator. It just popped. It would be delightfully absurdist. Like there's a really gentle love story unfolding and then every now and then Russell Crow pops in. Furious soaked in blood.

Yeah. see bits of Gladiator happening in the background. You're like, when is this film set? The closest we get to Gladiator is we do a barrel rolling race. Have you seen the film? Not yet, no. I've seen the trailer get received better than I've ever seen any trailer get received in my life. I have heard anecdotal reports of the trailer getting applauded.

It's a good time. That was before Wicked, though, so that makes sense. Before horror films, it's like, we're going, which way are you going to go? But no, we did barrel rolling in this. It's close to we get to stunts. It's like a very real tradition in one of these tiny little towns where they extremely competitively race barrels. Like massive wine barrels, full of wine, I think.

So they're incredibly... Yeah. You've got to actually be genuinely incredibly fit. Like, folks train for months to do this. And I think I've seen some of the most gnarly stuntman injuries on this film than I have in, like, I've seen the Grey Man. Like, I've seen, like, massive Russo action movies, Evans and Gosling taking chunks out of each other.

And I saw the most blood and guts in the barrel rolling for Yumi and Tuscany. A lovely rom-com. A lovely rom-com. We don't have any of that on screen. We don't have any of that on screen. But the training we did for the barrel rolling was no joke whatsoever.

You're kind of racing uphill, pushing this thing, downhill, trying to learn how to steering a barrel is not a straightforward thing. It's not the type of thing I wouldn't even lie on my CV about. Lie about riding a horse. Lye about swinging a sword. But barrel rolling, no, no, no, no, no. This is a serious business.

Yeah. It's also a mad thing to put on a CV before you've had to do it in a film. Yeah, but is it a conversation starter? Yeah, definitely. Like, you slide the piece of paper across the table as I do with my CV. Yeah. The reason, I just slide it. Like American Psycho. Let's see his CV.

Very nice. I like, you have a lot of film methods at your fingertips ready to go at all times. I don't want to be tested on this. Okay. Go on, go on. Where are you going? I'm not going to test you. I was going to say

if there was any film in history that you could go back and start it and you could be the lead in it. Great question. What would it be? I don't normally ask this to actors, but like, I can tell. Is it the kind of thing

you might be thinking about anyway? You know, it's a fun game for American Psycho. Yeah, well, I mean, who doesn't want to. Yeah. I think you would be good as that character. Yeah. I actually would like to say. They are remaking that.

Didn't they say they were doing Lady American Psycho? No. I read a story that they were doing it with Margot Robbie doing Lady American Psycho. When? Okay. I get a lot of those Instagram accounts that are clearly just someone's made something up and then it becomes a news story. I thought that was Glenn or Austin was doing that.

It was the last time I heard. They were circling like Austin Butler or Glen Powell. But you want it to be a bit different, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Glenn Powell's kind of just done it as well. Yeah. Yeah.

He has just killed a bunch of people. Yeah. On screen. On screen. Breaking news. No, yeah, I think he enjoys that area. I'd love to, you know what, it's top of the dome. So let's say American Psycho, I'd love to do something like that.

I love it. I enjoy that aspect of like, I want to be Boba Fett. Maybe it's that. Oh, yeah. I like that aspect of diving into particularly warped areas of the psyche, not for the sake of being edgy and dark, but because they're fun places to explore. I like, one of the first things I start from with any character is what they love and what they're afraid of.

And I feel like with characters like that, both of those answers get really deep, they're naughty. Like, what are you running away from and what are you running towards, essentially, is what that question is. And I think that doing that, is it Bateman, the character name? Patrick Bateman? Yeah, I always call Jason Bateman Patrick Bateman and it's not a good thing. Yeah, that whole thing gets confusing. It's very good. So is Christian Bale playing Patrick Bates.

Patrick Bain. Yeah, yeah. Yes. But I always think Jason Bainman. And then a bunch of Wall Street traders just like idolize him for it. They're just like, yeah, man. That's exactly what we're like, you're the man. And he's like, guys, you've missed the point.

That's not the takeaway. But no, I'd love to dive into that. Something as intense as that and kind of cautionary in this way. Did you watch Nightcrawler? Yeah. Like that's, that kind of exploration of essentially the psychopathy or sociopathy you need to be successful in a cutthroat capitalist society. Fascinates me.

I find that really interesting because you can put on script. I find those characters really sympathetic because they're tragic. They're not heroic. They're tragic. They've fallen off somewhere. They've taken all the lessons that the world teaches you have

you have to want it more than anyone else and then take it to the nth degree. Like where does that actually lead? And it leads to cutting up bodies in your living room listening to Phil Collins. Yeah. He didn't do it, man. Oh yeah, so you think in the film he didn't do it

He didn't do it Patrick Bayman The American Psycho You think he didn't kill anyone He's imagining it Because at the end of the film It's a bit open-ended isn't it Well same with the book

In the book it's even more like Yeah yeah You're pretty much sure he didn't do it They had Willem Defoe play it three different ways Did you know that? I did know that Every single scene he did They got him to play it like he knows that he did it

Yeah Play it like he has no clue Oh, I love that And play it like he's like suspect He's not sure And then they would use different takes throughout so that you didn't ever really know. You got a really trusted director for that.

That throws my little actor brain into a spin for a minute. I'm like, I've got this whole internal logic going. You're like, yeah, not interested in that. Get rid of it. Cut it up to do something utterly nonsense. Which is great if you like trust into like unnerve the audience. If you don't, it's like, what did I think about this so lovely for? Why?

Wouldn't that be nice going to see the film, not knowing which one they've used? Kind of. Kind of. A nice surprise for you. I think the answer is no. Well, I mean, just, kind of. Yeah. If you make me better, sure.

If you make me worse and furious. Do you know what I mean? It's like people ask what the difference between stage and screen is a lot of the time. And I'm sure that you actually probably have opinions on that. But the biggest difference to me is like on screen, it feels a little bit more like being a sous chef. Like you chop the vegetables very nice and then you hand them over to the chef in the editing room. and they make whatever dish it is they're going to make out those takes. And so there's a release of control.

Like, your job is to provide really high-quality ingredients and then trust your director and editor to cut your performance willy-nilly however they feel. And then on stage, the difference is you spend months with your director rehearsing, which you don't necessarily do on screen, and you kind of work out every detail and think everything through and talk through all the meanings. And then once you hear opening night, I'm driving.

Yeah, your head show. You know what I mean? And so I'm actually putting the dish together and you're in very real time adjusting to what the room is like that night, like what the audience is like, what you're getting back from them. And so it does change, but you're at the controls. You're flicking the switches. You're kind of going, okay, this will work here, this one way there. And you make, you absolutely carry the through line from thought and motivation through to the conclusion

and what that journey looks like each night, which is the polar opposite screen where your hands are off the wheel. You know what I mean? Do you have a preference? No, my preference is to mix that up because I think one feeds the other. If you get too into the driver's seat, you kind of forget how to let go. And if you get too used to letting go,

you don't know how to drive the thing the whole way through. And I think you need both. You need to be able to see the whole character arc on screen. And likewise on stage, you need to have those muscles of release to make sure that, for instance, everyone else on stage is doing the same thing. And you need to take that info and you need to be able to keep it limber. So I answer to all things is always both. Always both.

Cana Monti-Chrystal, that's what I'm doing, the closest thing to... Oh, yeah. To that kind of psychopathic space, because he's an absolute maniac the count. By the way, have you read Count Montecristo? No. I thought the Jim Cavizal one years ago. It's good. It's good, that one.

Yeah, Cavazel, man. In terms of compressing that story. Yeah, yeah. Cavizzo. Have you said that to his face? Cavazel. He wouldn't come on this. He might.

He might. Say nicer things about him. It chews bread, that's for sure. Okay, we're judging bread. We're judging bread. We're judging bread? Jesus loves bread. Monte Cristo sandwiches. Oh, yeah, Monte Cristo.

The unprofessionals. Oh, no, Kavisel's gone off. Cavasel. Cavasel straight on the borr immediately. He's got a team. He's got a team everywhere. They've got eyes everywhere. He's filming the Christ's supremacy or whatever.

He is the count now. Yeah, yeah. And you're now on the list. Oh, man. Decades long revenge coming your way. We never actually establish which bread you want in your dream meal. A Monte Cristo? A Monte Cristo sandwich?

That's an intense bread. That's an intense bread. That's like a main. It's a side at least. It's not really just the bread. No. No, simple sourdough, nice butter, good olive oil. Fantastic. Let's get into your menu proper now, your dream starter.

Your dream starter. Dream starter. It's probably kind of a carpatio type situation. Uh-huh. Not a Carpaccio de Reggae, of course. No, not a Carpaccio of myself. Yeah. That's a little bit, it's odd. Yeah, yeah.

That one. I can imagine, it's very, very Hannibal. Like, where would I slice pieces off my arm? Well, that's a big question. So you have to. Where would you, Carpaccio yourself? I've got an answer straight away if you want to think about it. Huh? Gone.

It's the butt. You'd Carpaccio the butt. I think it's the easiest bit to slice up, and you could back into the machine. But you've got... Okay. Do you often think about backing it up into a machine? It's not the first time I've talked about where I'd slice Carpatria off myself. Possibly on the therapist's sketch.

But it's easy. If you put the machine at the right height, you back it up into the machine. You back it. Which machine? You know the slicer, the thin slicer that you see in like a deli. Like a deli slicer. Yeah. Fucking help.

Then you could just back it up into the machine, right? Otherwise it's tricky. Like, where else are you, where else are you getting it from? But is it, are you talking about that? And there's junk in the trunk, you know. You don't have to deal with bones or anything. Sure. It is where people generally find that they have the expendable bits.

Like you take bits from your butt for grafts and things. Or like to craft a six-pack, if you believe, conspiracy theories. But like, in a... And let's just keep doing a film references. In seven, where the guy is being told to, like, take a pound of flesh off of himself. And he goes for his love handles. Yeah. Because he thinks he's found, like, a similar kind of, like...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he just bleeds out. And it's like, it's pretty messed up, man. Yeah. Like, you back up into that machine. I don't think it's going to go as well as you think it's going to go. I don't think it's going to go well. You look pretty pleased about it.

Yeah, it's convenient. You know, you threw that out there and I think I answered it pretty well. You're pitching, backing up into a meat slicer. Into a meat slicer. That's the adjective you tell. I'm imagining as well. Where on my body is more convenient to get the carpatchio from. I was imagining just like a, you know, like a carrot peeler.

Mm. Just like a bit of the forearm. Yeah, it'd be painful though, wouldn't it? And the other one was going to be... Walk in the park! You better be grabbing your junk in your hand off, or otherwise, your balls are going to get in there. Where do you think my balls are?

Between your legs, if you back up, your ball sack could get caught up in that machine. I think that is the sneakiest humble brag a man with big balls. Not me, this is Ed Gamble. How low do you think my balls are hanging? They're not swinging around back there. They're not in my ass.

Man, I've heard the rumors. Do you think I'm tucking? I've heard F1 and talk. About my big ball. Pivoting into food. Thank you. I looked up the difference between carpachio and sashimi on the way here

just to make sure that I knew that they were different things. And apparently it's this all in season. Carpaccio is, oh, it's got the whole kind of salt acid, fat heat thing. And sashimia is unadorned. Yes. And only fish. Yes.

It's a nice way to start a meal, the sort of raw, like, fresh tasting. I'm big on fresh tastes. Yeah. I always want something a little bit acidic going on. I think maybe I just kind of want waking up most of the time. Yeah. But yeah, no, we start.

You're a busy guy. I think the schedule's busy. You want to have something that's going to give you that wake up, start the day. All day long, that's why I came here. That's why you came here. That's why I came here. For the listener, it's six in the morning. Yes.

It's six. Me and James are in our pajamas. If you ever suspected, that's what explains a lot of this. It is early. I would never talk about backing up. up into a meat slicer, post-12. We're not going to escape that cul-de-sac of the conversation, aren't we? Not a cul-de-sac if we can't escape it.

Sorry, guys. Benz has told me the episode isn't recording. April Falls. This is going out on April Fool's Day. I just got Regé Jean with an April Fool's. I mean, is it... I April Fooled you. The emotion was relief.

I told Benito I was going to get you with an April Fool. This goes out in April the 1st. This is in April Fool's. Yeah. Excellent. You just got April Fooled. I told you how to do it, Benito. There was a little bit Rio Ferdinand, that.

You got Merck. You got Merked? You got Merced. Yeah, it was very Rio Ferdinand. It's like, with Rio Ferdinand as well, like, no one cared when he did it. Yeah. He would always come out and be like, you got Merced,

and they would be like, all right, hello, Rio. I don't think Rio cared. Rio seemed delighted. I don't think Rio was invested in that show at all. No. About as much as I was just then. Yeah, yeah.

Well, you said, that's the quickest April Fool to revealing it was an April Fool's I've ever seen. It was a pretty quick turnaround. I'm not sure you committed to the bit. No. No, no, but as much as Rio did. My third wish is commit to the bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it should be.

Are we having a beef, Carpaccio for the start? Oh, moving on from April 4. Generally, don't be bitter about it. You didn't commit to the bit, have another go, it's all right. I'm going to get you later on. That's a promise. Yeah, yeah, that's a promise. You're going to get caught.

I'm usually a fish situation. A fish situation. Best Carpaccio I ever had was at Pelloigi in Rome while shooting this film. and I was a little bit overwhelmed and very hungry. And the waiter, like, you know one of these voices who's been there forever? Like, in the best possible way. It's like, okay, this is what you do. This is the entirety of your being.

You are charming, old Italian waiter. And he just kind of looked to me and went, I'm going to get you something nice. And I was like, great. And he brought out this incredible fish-based cart. I think it was like salmon. Was it salmon? It was delicious. It was very finely seasoned.

Some olive oil, something a little bit tangy. I'm guessing maybe some lime over it. And it was life-changing, and I'm seeing in this Italian piazza, with this delicate light food that's just been served to me by a waiter. It was just like, this is what you want. And hilarious, it's such an institution that restaurant. Because I think, like, three Hollywood agents I knew from L.A. were at the other table, I'm floated in, which was not sure that's a plus to the story.

When you're trying to experience that escapism and be like, I'm finally, I can relax and enjoy this Carpaccio. It's a danger of travel, though, isn't it? Yeah. Like, I am experiencing this thing that no one else... Oh, there you are. Yeah. And all you can hear is, do the deal.

They sound like that. That is exactly what Hollywood agents sound like in the year 2026. And I did a cigar for people who are just listening. Exactly. You're going to be out right, kid. Do the deal. Make the film. Make the film do the deal.

I've spent a lot of time in Hollywood, so I know. They spoke to them all. Your impression of it's right to us with a megaphone going, do the acting. Yeah, yeah. He's wearing one of those big puffy hats. and plus fours. Have you ever had a director

with a Godmike on set before? No. No, I've not. I think the few things that I've done they've just been going around just talking normal.

So Godmikes are very disconcerting. Like when you have the big, big, massive sets. Like one of the earlier films I did was a film called Mortal Legends.

It was about cities, on wheels, eating other cities. Great. Let's just enjoy that concept. We should get one of those on off menu. Yeah, we should get one of the cities

on off menu. Yeah, see what it would choose. What's your favorite? Bristol. Start at Bristol. Yeah, just a small city to start. Yeah, just Bristol to start with police. Tokyo for Maine.

Yeah, Bristol apart, Bristol apart. Who directed that film? Christian Rivers. It was his first large film, because he was a pro-shadow of Peter Jackson. Peter Jackson had the rights movie. And Christian had been storyboarding for him for like 15 years. I think he sent him fan art. Like, it was early.

I don't even think it was Lord of the Rings. I think it was like a film that he'd done before Lord of the Rings. And Pete had brought him on from this fan art because Christian just written from going, I want to work with you. And they worked together for years and years and years. And I think Peter had just finished like the Hobbit trilogy and was basically like, I've got these rights. I am making a Beatles doc.

You do this film. And so we're on this massive, massive set. Green screens everywhere, like massive. There's got to be 200 people on set. Green screens everywhere. Huge built set. It's my first shot of the day. I'm being introduced in an extremely,

Lega las fashion. Like there's a huge crane. It's doing like a panning shot up from the legs into the face as a fan blowing my dreadlocks in the world. He's like, right, so this is your romantic introduction. She's going to come off the airship and she's just got to see you and see her life. And so like, we do the first take and the camera pans up and my hair's blowing in the wind, fans. And I'm like, mm. And then cut. And so he's maybe 50 meters away, maybe more. I'm up on a platform. 200 people just milling about doing their work. Bell goes, brr, everyone's like hammering and stuff. He goes, right, um, could you do that again, but, uh, maybe do it's sexier? All right, let's go.

Bell goes, we go back, silence. Camera pans up, crane washes, I go up, hairs blown in the wind. I'm kind of squinching the eye. Cut. Yeah, sexy than that. That's a difficult note, isn't it? Echoing off the walls. This is my first day on the blockbuster.

We go through take three. We go through take four. We go through take five. work starts slowing down, because everyone's hearing, could you just do that? And this time, just to look out through your eyes and smolder. Go! And so, like, you got into the point where, like, take eight,

the entire set has stopped. There's, like, monitors around the place, and everyone's just kind of watching if this kid's going to get it. And get it being, can you smolder? Could you possibly do it a bit sexier than that? Yeah. And that is the origin story of where I learned to do it sexier. It's a hard note that Do It Sexier and Smolder.

How do you... How do you smolder? Because you would have thought smolder is just a natural thing that people do without thinking about, right? I'm pretty sure it's a question, thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a thing that I thought I was doing without... Yeah, sure.

I clearly was not doing it without... Right, you smolder, man, you smolded when you came in. You're always smoldering. Well, I am now. I come ready. That's because of the origin story. I never want the godmite coming at me again. Now you have to constantly smold.

You never want to let it go. I've got smoldering at all times. Just in case. Yeah. That's why. I love Christian. I love you, Christian, if you're watching this. It's a wonderful origin story, and we were all doing our best.

Yeah. A lot of actors have those things where it's like they came up with something, whether it's like a laugh or a certain look or whatever that they did on one film. That actually you don't realize as somebody watches films, that they are doing that quite a lot. Because it becomes so natural and baked in. Yeah, I mean, it's not. They can all go, like, I did this film, I had this thing, I had to learn how to do this. And actually, that wasn't something that I then just forgot and then went on to other films.

That one transfers onto other stuff. You pick bits up. And it is usually like a story of like an older actor who's just like, what are you doing here? And you suddenly have to learn to step up. Useful trauma, if you will. Which is a phrase that you probably only come up with if you came up Catholic. But you know, no, no, you do. You pick up little bits.

And you always watch senior actors on set. You do always try to take the lesson. from directors, even if they're not always quite as brutal as that. And so I like watching actors kind of snowball through their careers. You kind of see them pick up the toolbox sometimes. Like you see stuff that people keep from film to film. And then you see like, oh, that idiosyncrasy started to kind of blossom after that movie. It's a meta way of watching films.

You don't want to see it the first time. Yeah. Because that just means that your habits are shining through a bit too much. You're starting to see the actor instead of the character. And I always, I love when I forget which actors I'm watching, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Which is, I mean, it's not particularly profound thing to say, but it is true. But it is, though, it is mad.

It is, I mean, I say to actors who come on here and then they look at me like, yeah, that's called acting. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be like, man, when I see you in a different film, just like a different person. Right. And they're like, yeah, yeah, man, that's what I'm going for. Yeah, but you know what? I think that they are absolutely bold, they're full of crap at that point.

Because what they're doing inside, well, they're going, yeah, that's my job. Inside, they go, yeah. They've nailed it then. Yeah. It's like, that's a perfect head. And they're sitting there kind of celebrating on the inside and just taking it out on James. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I think it's wonderful that this little guy is amazed by it.

It's like magic to this guy. It's like, Ed's taken in by the top five cabins. Yeah. Yeah, you're both delightful little guys. Yeah. Dickensian urchins. I think Ben wants us to hurry up. We're just been told by...

So basically, we're getting on with Reggae Too Well. Yes. We've just been told by Benito, we've got 20 minutes left. To get through four courses. So we're going to do it. Which is very realistic, by the way. We're in the restaurant. The wait has come by like five or six times.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, no, we're just going to look at the menu. Yeah. Because we're still chatting. With those restaurants... It's one of the restaurants where... They said, we need the table back by 930. That's what they've said.

So you've got to really rush this last bit. And we haven't even got to the picky bits. Dream main course? It's kind of a... I do pretentious main courses. I've kind of got a toss-up between just like a really good fish and chips. Wait, hang on.

This is a dream restaurant, right? Dream. So, like, do I get to define the dream, or is it your dream? It's your dream. Okay, so this restaurant in my head is, it's got to be, like, by a large body of water. Like, by the ocean or by a lake. I had this really, really good fish and chips in New Zealand.

And so it's just got to be, like, fresh fish that's caught, like, from... you know, 100 meters away. Preferably in a non-polluted bay. You get the idea. It's a dream bay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like a good battered, chips made well blanched.

And you want to feel like some salt air. We're dining alfresco. Yes. In this restaurant. You might have to keep the noise down after 11. Yeah, fair enough. It's just a good fish and shit. Actually, you know, I had to toss up and I've lost it.

No, it's fish and chips. I talk myself into it. It's a really, really good fish and chips. A fresh lemon grown in the yard of your dream restaurant. You're growing lemon trees. We're squeezing that over the fish and the chips, because why not? We got like some fresh cracked salt on that. And you want to be able to almost smell the environment that the food has come from as you're eating it.

You know, like you're smelling the lemon grove in the background a little bit. It kind of comes by on the breeze every now and then. That's nice. You know what I mean? Yeah. The potato field? You're sweaty the potato feel? You could get a little fresh grass scent on the air.

You know what I mean? There's a little bit of the earth about you. It's damp, but not too damp. So, like, you can feel, you know that after rain smell? Yeah. Petricor. What? That was called Petro Corps.

That's what that smells called, yeah. After, like, rain, rain on concrete specifically is petrachore. Oh, I don't want to rain on concrete. That's a nice smell, though. I wouldn't rain on the potato field? Okay, I don't know. Potato core. Potato core?

Yeah. Not sure that's the thing. Sounds good genre of music you like. I think I'm not going to fall for that April Fool. You're going to have to get up early in the morning for that. Well, it wasn't even an April Fool, then. And whatever soil Petricore is. We've got a bit of that on the breeze.

We've got a bit of that on the breeze. To be honest, I'm here for the breeze, almost more than the fish and chips. I'm not going to lie. It's rare we get the dream breeze included in the dream. Yeah, we haven't really had the dream before. No, it's nice of a dream breeze. They're also shell-shocked.

They're hiding in the restaurant from the streamer to the beginning. And has the fish come from the body of water that you're sad. The fish has caught like no further away than like 500 meters from where you're sitting. You know what I mean? The lemons are like 50 meters that way. The potatoes possibly slightly further away because you need to field for that. Yeah, yeah. And that's all on the way.

You don't want to breeze too much on the potato field because there is manure involved. Yeah, exactly. We're keeping the potatoes like, why did you bring up the potato field? What? You brought up the potato field? No, I didn't.

I brought up the body of water and the lemons. Yeah, we recorded. And you decided to bring manure into this situation. Well, I brought the manure in, I will admit that. You did. April fall. Yeah. That was the April fall,

was that you brought manure into it. Yeah. I don't want it to be pranked by you. Like I always said it's dream main course, and your April fall is that you said And the potato children And there's manure in it. What about a side?

You got meerked. You got murked. You got murked? He merged you. Sorry, Reggae. I came on the podcast and was like, would you like some shit on the side? And what about backing up into a slicer? Yeah, both you.

You're disgusting, man. Reggae brought up the field and where on your body would you get a carpachio from? I did bring up where. Yeah. But then you brought up where. Yeah. You did it.

Yeah. You've let yourself down. Can you be pleasant? with this horrible concept and you went, no. You've really let yourself down this episode. Well, you got punked and you got Merck's. Listen, we go, Mekajon on the podcast. Yeah, everyone's excited.

Yeah, damn. Everyone that I've told. You've got to give him the camera on the podcast. Yeah. And I've let myself down. And you've let yourself down. Yeah. There's so many people listen this podcast.

So many. Who are head over heels for this man. Who have never listened to the podcast before. And you're getting up shit and cutting meat off your butt. There's not the listen people came for Do we bleep this podcast or are we just kind of really assorting In everything that he says For this episode

Everything he says is going to be bleeped Which is actually be really fun Six minutes according to Benito now What we're criticising you for And you'll look like the victim of the podcast Poor man 15 Oh you're doing one five with your hand like that

Yeah that's not how things are Well that says six to me Right If you want to spend another 10 minutes debate in this I will James is lashing out Oh okay Well, but he said I got burnt. It's because we haven't had our mains.

James is getting cranky. It's hungry. I genuinely am hungry, and I'm thinking about this fish and chips. It's making me even more hungry because it sounds delicious. Great. Good. Favorite moment of fish and chips, when you break the batter and a bit of steam comes out in the middle. Yes, absolutely.

There. Stay in that zone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Steam coming from the fish, not from the field. Like a big fart. Oh, no. No. No.

My fuck's sake. You get like a little bell, like the radio that shows this. You can't stop murking you. You can't break the batter in front of someone from New Zealand. They'll go crazy. There's videos of that online. Dream side dish. Sorry, batter food is side dish.

Yeah. We're eating food. Okay, so we're at the restaurant. Breezes blown, breaking the fish, eating the fish, eating the chips. On the side, I think we're having Brussels sprouts, but... Okay. But... That's it?

We're having Brussels sprouts made by... Careful, because you can make this... No, no, I'm not. I love Brussels Spruits. We have American Brussels Spouts. Yeah. Because I don't know how... Like, we give the Americans a lot of stick for food. The world does.

Yeah. And we get a lot of stick for food, but Brussels Spruits is why we get stick for food. We boil them to death and then just plop them on a plate, sad and wet, and it's not a good situation. I remember my mind being blown when I ate sprouts in the States. I feel like, do you want sprouts? I was like, absolutely not. I'm like, why not? They're my favourite food.

They are no one's favorite food. this conversation went on for years until I finally tried some. And there's, oh, I forget the name, the restaurant. Now it's just opposite the parallel lot in L.A. L.A. Excellency for food, by the way. There's a lot of issues with Los Angeles, but the food scene, incredible. It's a austeria or something.

It's an Italian name. Getting on Google Maps, I can see them doing. But they do an incredible Brussels sprout side. It's fried in something that must be like a big pan of butter. It's indulgent and salty, and there's a, they do it with a poached egg that's like barely poached, it's almost like a simmered egg. It's like if you can't do

uncooked head white, egg white, if you're afraid of the flob, this isn't for you. But it ties everything together really delicately and it's one of the most delicious things I've written in my life. I've never heard about a dish that has that. Yeah, egg bread. I hadn't heard of it either. I was there with a friend after,

oh, name drop. I'm not going to drop the name. It was after we did the Vanity Fair cover shoot a couple of years ago. We went to this restaurant. That's why I know it was opposite the Paramount Locks. We're shooting on the Paramount Lott. We can try and guess the person.

You actually almost certainly can. Were they on the cover as well? I mean, I've said too much. They're on the cover. The cover is what? What's the cover? Bridgeton? Hunks?

Hang on. Hux. Hensera and a lot of people of eat boker. Aseriola Buka. Gorgeous. Great day. And again, a lot of the thing with me with food, which ties back to the movie, by the way,

is it's where you're eating in. who you're eating it with. Like, the food is one thing, and those sprouts are delicious. But I only remember it because it's tied to a memory of like a really cool day with really cool people. You won't know. That you won't know.

Just because I don't want to be that guy. Do you know what I mean? Come on. You can be that guy. Are they people that you're in a show with? Or are they people that you were just in a photo of a few with? I think 21 questions on the people. He loves guessing games. He loves guessing games, though.

That's why I'm teasing you. You're there with Paul Mascall. Yeah. Benito, look up the Vanity Fair cover shoot. He brought the little chain and his earring. Did you watch SNL on Saturday, the British one? I wasn't able to. Well done on your fantastic cameo.

Enjoyed it very much. The Paul Meskell references and the Shakespeare sketch were incredibly incredible. Yeah, very, very funny. I would quote it, but I don't think I want to be clipped on that. Did you enjoy it? I did. It's time of my life.

I love doing that kind of stuff. I love them. It was fun coming back and doing it here because it's nice to kind of I don't know if this is close to your heart or not, but seeing, like, a proving ground for, like, young British comedy talent. We don't do sketch shows that much anymore. I don't know how you feel about sketches. Yeah, great. Professional comedians. Love sketches. It started out in sketch.

Started out in sketch, of course. Yeah. It's like, we've got this wonderful tradition for it. And it's really nice kind of seeing what will happen when we bring an American format. Because I feel like we don't do improv as a form the way Americans do. Like, we have a huge tradition of comedy, sketch comedy, like footlights, sorry, having a clue. like we do very wordy game type of improv. And they had this much more kind of physical, very, almost formalized form of improv. Like it has a form and a structure.

And seeing what we do to kind of put a twist on that is going to be really interesting. Doing SNL in the States is one of the best things I've ever done ever. It's, I was the middle of COVID. So like I was starved for human contact and suddenly I had a live audience in front of me. And you must both know that feeling when the devil gets you a little bit

when suddenly there's just a bunch of people. I can play with this. Yeah. And so suddenly getting to do a bit of live performance, because I'd been on screen for ages. I hadn't done stage for years at that point. And it reminded me of being in a band a little bit. So the cast of SNL are always knackered. Because that seven-day turnaround is insane.

And they were on like, I don't know, week six or eight of their series. It was the height of COVID. Everyone was just so tired. And I remember the last rehearsal before the live show, Lorne kind of sits everyone down. And he went, look, guys, the kids are giving it everything. And they were all right, I guess he is having fun. And so they kind of, they decided graciously to carry me through it.

But I remember between sketches, because I'd grown up in bands, we did the dress rehearsal, and we did a sketch, and then we're kind of resetting the cameras and things. And I started riffing with the audience because I was like, they're there. And this is, it was like an old instinct from like, okay, so moving the cameras is essentially my guitarist is tuning up. And so I got a bit of audience banter because that's how you're doing it. keep people warm between the songs. And I remember Kenan looked over to me and went,

okay. Almost like the memory of what it was like to really be enamored by the situation of like performance suddenly kind of rushed back. Like I was his Proustian Madeline cake. Madden cakes, that's food. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Always comes back to food.

Always comes back to food. It's exciting because we're... I had to cut this out the episode, but Ed and I are going to be hosting. one of the SNLs in this country. Yes. April fall. Fucking got him.

I got him. I got Regéjean. You got Merked. I got him. I got Regé Jean. He absolutely bought it. I got him. April Fool.

I really thought that I wasn't going to... You got meurped. I don't think Regé Jean's come out the worst from that. I think it's a worst prank on you. Because you're not. Because we're not. Oh, yeah. You just said that.

He was delighted for us. He was so happy for us. He was so happy for us. And we're not doing it. I was going to come back. to guest on your show, it's going to be great. Yeah. It would have been good.

Yeah, that would have been great. Well, actually, yeah. You have to keep that in the show now. You've made yourself sad now. Yeah. Oh. Not as good a career as I'm just potential that. April Fool, I'm not doing that well.

April Fool, we haven't been asked to do shit. You will, you could. Yeah, yeah. Maybe this is your make-a-wish video. They're just like, look how sad is Dickensy and Oachian is. But we know. We know everyone involved in it and we can't be asked. Does that make you...

No, no, I'm happy for all those guys. Yeah, happy to you. Your dream, drink, drink. Dream drink, dream, drink. We're going to stay on the team of being fresh and being woken up. If I'm drinking alcohol, it's usually a Kaiprina with this meal, I think, because I often, if I'm drinking alcohol, it would be like an old-fashioned or a Kaiparina. And if we're on our seaside dream restaurant, then I think we want that lime fresh.

wakening. Also, because in my head, we're kind of hit in sunset. And so, you know, you've got those, like, string lights in our fresco situation. It's getting dark. It's probably a band warming up. Yeah.

Like a salsa band or something. Nice. And so you're kind of, you're getting yourself into, as we go towards the desserts, we're loosening the hips. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's loosening the hips backing into his meat style.

We'd done so well. Yeah, sorry. We'd gotten so far away. Sorry. Sorry, I'm going. Sorry, Regge. Don't bring out my head teacher voice, like. We had done so well.

We had made such progress. We really believed in you. I feel this is the president character coming out now. Yeah, but he's got to have a more inspirational cadence. Yeah. We had done so well. Well, we really believed in you. That's good.

And you have let down this country. Yeah. Your morals. This is... Your beliefs. Stop me talk to the president. I think it's really good. That was good Obama.

It was Barack via Kermit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ultimate teacher. I believe like Kermit Barak would be a great Sesame Street character. Yeah. If we do host SNL, you've got to come on and do Kermit Barak. That's going to be the opening sketch. Paint you green.

And then you're sitting on a lily pad. It's like you're being a barma. We're getting a little more shooting stars than SNL. Do you know what I mean? It's all getting a little more. So that episode, when we host it, give us a great. Get him to go, he's going to be Kermit Barack.

Not even Kermit Obama. You can paint him green, you put him on a lily pad, you just let him go. Yeah. Little known fact, Kermit's last name is in fact O-Hifan Barma. Yeah, it is.

Not a lot of people know that. That's true. You're going to April 4thus? I was thinking about it. Yeah. It was never really got that. Not even close. A lovely Kiperin, yeah.

That's a fantastic drink. I've not heard of this drink before. Oh, it's just like, it's just literally lime and cashasa. Yeah. So it's like a rum-type situation. Brazilian? Brazilian? Yeah, yeah.

Brazilian, so cassasa, lime, sugar, that's it. The reason I know what it is, because the only drink I was good at making when I worked in a bar. It's incredibly simple. It's the first one they taught us. He was kind of muddle lime and sugar and then pour stuff in, and that's kind of your drinks great. Would you like this one to be made by you then? No, absolutely not. Are you insane?

I'd like a good one, please. Yeah. I haven't made one in years. Though, there we go. In this dream restaurant, maybe, as like a long-form starch, I want to kind of come in every weekend, get to know the staff, make it like a place that I feel really comfortable. And like, you know what? Come behind the bar. Let's teach how to make some drinks. And then I get really good at making the drinks. And actually, all of these dream courses have been made by me and the kitchen staff together. And we're having like a staff meal at the end of the day. We've kicked everyone else out.

You know what I mean? Except the band. They can stay. And that will make everything taste better because I've learned. to make this drink. It's not real me. It's me and the Dream Restaurant. I'm so good at making cocktails. I've contributed to the batter for the fish. I helped pick the potatoes over the last few months. I've escaped the world.

I've become a farmer at a restaurant that serves only us. That sounds like an album. The restaurant that serves only us, it sounds a little bit keen actually. Yeah, yeah, keen would call it. Summeroni, we know, the restaurant. Yeah. I think you're the first guest we've had

whose dream meal involves changing their entire life. Yeah. And having a whole new life now. And having a new job. Two minutes? What's your dream dessert? Two in a Sue. Timmer Mood.

Don't mind up for two and a do. Italian trifle. Yeah, lovely stuff. Italian trifle, which we delve into that more. Infinitely superior. But we can't. You've got to go.

So I'm going to read your menu to you now. See how you feel about it? That's the shortest we've ever spent on dessert. But luckily it was Tiramamisu. So, like, we've spoken about Tiberato. Good thing we spent so long a carpatcho. Yeah. And Ed's butt.

That wasn't my fault. Sparkly water. I was answering the question that was asked. You would like sourdough, nice butter, olive oil. Starter, fish carpatchio. Main course, fish and chips with fresh lemon and cracked salt. Side dish, American Brussels sprouts. Drink, can't pronounce this.

Kuiperina. Desert. Tiramisu. That is a very nice menu. Sorry that we had to rush for it because we got so deep into the actors studio. I'm sorry I did fish for starters and mains. I feel like that's a bit of a fun part. No, that's fantastic.

I love it because of the fresh fish to start. And we're by the seaside, really? Yeah, we're by the seaside, we're by a body of water. There we go. We've got one minute. We'll just say goodbye. We'll say goodbye. We'll see you at the SNL UK studio.

Yeah. I'll see you at the SNL studio. Yeah. I want to see your surreal SNL episode. Yeah, yeah. I really do. I will contribute some kind of character to that. Yeah.

We'll get you in immediately. Don't know if you'll be on a lily pad. I'm not committing to the lily. It will be on a lily. You know what the character's going to be. Maybe. I'm going to call my American agent, Sonia. Do the film, but he's not being a frog.

He ain't doing Kermit. Come on. His Kermit Ababa's different. Reggie Jean doesn't Kermit Beno. Reggie Jean. Reggie, thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you, mate. Thank you for having me.

Well, there we are, James. A wonderful chat with Regéjeon page. We got so lost in conversation. We forgot about the menu. As Regge said, though, that is what it's like sometimes in the restaurant, where you got the menu, and they keep on coming around and going, are you ready to order yet? Oh, sorry, we've just been chatting.

And they come out again, you did it again. Yeah. That's what it felt like. Yeah. And it's nice to have an episode like that. I love the guy. I loved, I loved, I love Regé Jean. Enthusiasm, talented, gotten involved with the pod.

Great food choices. Lovely food choices. The setting was wonderful. Yeah. Nailed it. I thought he nailed that. I think absolutely nailed it. Not to mention he didn't say Reggae, Reggie.

He's sauce. He got pranked a few times. He did get April fooled. Yeah. I definitely really April fooled him at the end. Yeah, you really did. To the point where I felt bad. Because that's the thing, actually, people don't talk about.

When you do April Fool, someone good. You're talking about the SNL April Fool? Yeah. No, you got yourself there. I got him as well. He was so happy for us. I felt bad. He was like, yes.

And I was like, oh, no, that's a genuinely nice emotion. And I'm about to crush it by going, no, we're not doing it. And I know I got myself. And you. Oh, God. But that's the thing is about April vass, I'm like they don't tell you, about pranking.

Yeah. I bet the jackass boys feel bad all the time. I bet they don't. No, they probably don't. We had Steve O'N. Do you think he felt bad? He didn't seem to feel bad. No.

No, he felt a lot of things. Yeah. But he didn't feel bad. Yeah. You, me and Tuscany, is out on April 10th in cinemas. It is. Go and see it. I'm on tour.

Fresh Hell is the name of my show. Tickets on sale now. Bumble.co. UK for tickets, UK and Ireland tour. Come see me. I'm also on tour, to be fair. And actually, it was told to me recently that not all the dates have sold out. So I should probably promote that. Yeah. Do you feel like this is a good way of promoting it? The show is called James Acaster. I'm on tour. It's brilliant. Some of them have not sold out.

That's just not a good way to promote things, I don't think. No? No. Just say tickets available. Tickets available. James Acaster is the name of the show. Yeah. It's brilliant. Some people have complained that it's just called James A. Castor.

Yeah. Yeah, they've gone, why have you not come up with a name? Well, you know. There's a reason. There's a reason. Come see. Come see. This is obviously available on YouTube.

Some of you will know that because you'll be watching this on YouTube right now. If you are listening, it is available on the YouTube. So go and subscribe to us on YouTube as well because Benito cries himself to sleep every night that we don't have enough subscribers. Is this bit on YouTube? Yeah. Even this bit when we're saying it's on YouTube. Yeah. It seems mad that we include this bit on YouTube.

argue with him, he's done a course. Oh yeah, he has done a course recently. Yeah. And how to put things on YouTube, I think. Yeah. Because we've not, this is the first one we've managed to upload. Yeah. The rest of them have just been, I don't know,

he just puts him his own computer, they're on his desktop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he watches them and things they're on the internet. He's accidentally put them on Porn Hub. Oh, no. Well, probably we've finally find our audience. That's our true audience.

We should put one on Pornhub. Yeah, let's put one on Pornhub. Do you think on Pornhub if you put things, that aren't porn, they get banned for not being explicit enough. That'll be interesting. Let's, the listeners, you can vote on Twitter or Instagram or whatever. Just make sure you message Benito. And that's the vote, is it?

The vote is, you message Benito and you ask for an episode of your choosing that we've definitely filmed, that we've already filmed, and Benito will put it on porn. It probably can't be a big celebrity, because I'd imagine anyone with, like, a PR team might be a bit annoyed that we've put their episode on Pornham. I guess, did we film the Huge Davis one? Good question.

Because he's big, but there's a... Also, he sounds like a porn star. He sounds like a porn star. Yeah, so he put Huge Davis off menu. That sounds like porn. And then he does describe a porn scene in it of the two of us making love and some fanfic. Can we put it on Porn Hub, Benito? He's nodding.

Why he's shaking his head? Like he's all sad about it. but you should do it, Benito. That's funny. Why would you not do it? I can't even think about why you wouldn't do it. I find it funny that someone might be like yanking one out

and skipping through the videos and they accidentally, they accidentally jizz when we're on. Look, oh, this sounds like exactly what I want to see, huge Davis. And then they put it on. And it said going like, take in the pastor of conversation. And then they go,

that's funny. That's funny. We'll do that. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for watching and listening. Thank you. Sorry, Vagé.

We did it again.