Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Will Arnett

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

The Dream Restaurant’s back in business for series 15, and our first booking is comedy royalty, Emmy-nominated actor, superstar podcaster and star of new movie ‘Is This Thing On?’, Will Arnett. Will Arnett stars in ‘Is This Thing On?’ which is in UK cinemas from 30 January. Follow Will on Instagram @arnettwillWatch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube on Thu 22 Jan. Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcastFollow Off Menu on Instagram and TikTok: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster.Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Video production by Megan McCarthy for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the off-menu podcast, taking the crepes of conversation, adding the sugar of friendship and squeezing over the lemon juice of humour, James. A traditional. Yeah. Trad crep. Or pancake. We say pancake. Back to Ed Gamble, my name is James Akeaster.

Together we own a dream restaurant. And every single week, we invite a guest and asking their favour ever start a main course, dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is Will Arnette. Will Arnette. international trej, James. Absolute comedy, royalty, in my opinion. Very excited.

And mine? Yes, yes. I don't want to speak on your behalf. No, but I think we're on the podcast together. We have a shared opinion. And everything we say is our opinion. Okay, that's interesting. That's an interesting new spin on it.

As we move forward with the same opinions. Yes. Okay. Not Benitos, though. No, we don't share Benito. Oh, dear God. The spiciest of opinions, that guy. I imagine if we share Benito's opinions.

That would be bad. I mean, Arrested Development, Bojack Horseman, Blaze of Glory, the list goes on, he's done so many amazing things and most recently,

30 Rock, of course, Ed Spess is subject on Mastermind, nothing gets past this guy. Because we have the same opinion, do we have the same knowledge as well? Is that mean I did better on Mastermind now?

You did pretty well anyway, didn't you? Oh, I was second from bottom. Well, I was joint second, so was I technically. We're the same. We're the same. Brothers.

Is this thing on is Will's new film? Yes. which is causing quite a stir here in the UK because the inspiration for it is the life of our comedian John Bishop Archimedian. He's ours. Yeah. I thought you were going into sort of Liverpoolian slang there. Oh, I like our comedian. Our kid. Yeah. Yeah. I should have

I should have done that actually. Apologies to Liverpool that I didn't see that trick. Although isn't it more Manchester? Midlands. Now that's where I'm from, Benito. Benito, your opinions are not our opinions. So whatever you say is wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. Well, I apologise to the people of Liverpool, but I will not apologise for saying that is this thing on is loosely based on John Bishop's story.

Yes, which is very exciting. It's a man who his marriage is in trouble. Yeah. And he starts doing stand-up comedy. And you see how that affects his relationship with, not just his wife, everyone in his life, and with himself. Opposite in my life?

You did comedy and then got married. Yeah, I did comedy, got married, and now my comedy's in trouble. Yeah, that's really, I mean, the listeners didn't know that. But yeah, hot news. Hot news. Ed's comedy's in trouble. My comedy's in trouble.

And when Will's in, I'll be asking if he wants to make another film. Yeah. Based on a happy stand-up comedian who then goes into a happy marriage. And his comedy's in trouble. Yeah. What would you call it? Is this thing on. You go and see that.

Friday the 30th of January, it starts in cinemas. That's... If you're listening in the UK. Bradley Cooper. has directed it, James. Will Arnett's in it. It's based on the life of John Bish. Laura Dern's in it?

I hope John Bishop gets invited to the Oscars. Kierre Pines is in it. Bradley Cooper's got a good track. Chloe Radcliffe's in it, our friend. Chloe Radcliffe, our friend, shout out to Radcliffe. But will Bish go to the Oscars? Oh, yeah. That's what the whole country's thinking.

Our comedian, John Bishop, will he end up on the red carpet at the Oscars? Well, that's a shame, isn't it? Because there's the red carpet for the stars. and then there's a bit there's just a red car. It's red carb it. He has to eat spaghetti

and bread and all sorts. They make you eat loads of carbs. I thought it was a bit where there's just a car. He's in the car park. The red car bit. Yeah, he's in the car park, John Bishop. Johnny Bish. We've not had Bish on.

We've got to get Bish on now that we've had Will on. I can't believe we've not had Bish on, our comedian. Yeah. But we've had Will Arnett on who's playing a John Bish-style character. He's someone else's comedian, Will Rett. A actor. Look, people will be excited about this episode And we're banging on

Yeah, sorry guys, we're getting in the way Secret ingredient Secret ingredient is club sauce Because of inner essence of development He is reading the menu To his mother, Lucille And everything is with Club Source And he really delivers it

In such a hilarious way It's a great, great moment In a classic comedy show So Club Source is the secret ingredient We hope he doesn't say it We really hope he doesn't say it Lego Batman Oh fuck we've got to talk about Lego Batman

It's the first episode of series 15, James. Holy smokes. And not for nothing. It's our first episode in a new studio, even if some episodes have already gone out. Yeah. We've been in the studio.

This is our first one. Yeah. So big start to series 15. And this studio, of course, looks the way it does because it's going to be on YouTube. These full episodes are going to be on YouTube. Ben wants it to look as nice as possible. Naturally, I mean, I hate it.

Yeah, James hates it. I mean, I don't know. I don't like having to film them. Yeah. I feel all watched up and awful. Constantly worried there's a camera on me. Yeah. It's not like we have makeup or anything,

so I'll probably look washed out. We're going to look like absolute shit. And like... Also, I'm not well today, and I'm tired. I didn't sleep well. So I look like a fucking Easter Island head. So enjoy that. He looks beautiful.

I know. That won't surprise anyone. But, uh... I feel awful. He feels awful. So, like, if you want to see us both feeling awful, then like... Check out the YouTube.

Just like absolutely hating the fact that Ben's made us film the episodes now. Go on YouTube and you can see just how much we're, I guess, hopefully not hating our lives. I think we'll be quite excited to speak to Will. Oh, so excited. But yeah, we won't be happy that it's being filmed. Yes. But watch it on YouTube tomorrow. Yeah, watch it on YouTube tomorrow.

You've got to make sure you do that. Or just put it on and just walk out of the room. Yeah, either way. Yeah, yeah. Works for us. This is the off menu menu of Will Arnet. Welcome, Will, to the dream restaurant. Can I just say?

He may. Can we just comment on Ben for a second? We should, yeah. Welcome, Will, on there to the dream restaurant. I'll be to spend you for some time. Please, comment on Ben. Well, he's just, he operates with excellence. Yes.

And professionalism. He was like, you guys want to dick around. I need to take care of the clap. Yeah. And I'm happy to entertain all your BS, but I'm going to do what I need to do to be professional. Yeah. And I feel like I stepped in his way. Yeah.

And he's like that social. I apologize. He's like that socially as well, Will. Like when we have some time off, maybe we'll go for a meal. Yeah. The professionalism never stops. What I'm saying is he's not a good hang. Yeah.

Okay, wow. Very serious. Very serious. By the look on his face, news to him? Not news to him. We've received this over and over again from us. It was, for the listener, Will said, are we recording? And Ben's response was, we can be.

Yeah. With a hint of sass to it. There was a hint of sass. There was a little bit. And I, it's funny. I don't think I've ever had that response and I found it to be refreshing. And simultaneously, quite insolent.

Yes, he's an insolent little lad. So, anyway, the point is I'm beginning this whole experience quite confused about how I feel. Well, all of our North American guests are normally quite confused by the whole podcast, yeah, to be honest. But the concept of a podcast or just this one? Not the concept of the podcast, but yeah, certainly, I mean, James is sometimes quite a confusing guy.

I have to translate for quite a lot of... Is that right? usually but I love that Ben's the one this time it's really it's for me it's refreshing this isn't just refreshing for you Will this is I'm not I'm not really confused and please don't let me together with all the North American guest you've had on

because most of them are dullards I will say not true but also yeah and thank you for winking crazy that you winked and agreed with me yeah I know right what an affront to all your former North American get

but I will say So what I thought was when they told me that I was going to do this, I thought erroneously that we were going to enjoy the meal. I'm not the first, obviously, who thought that. Yeah, a few people have thought that. So I skipped a meal. So I'm famished. Yeah, and it's the worst way to do this podcast is hungry,

because we're going to be talking about the food. And there's going to be some stomach gurgles on Mike. Yeah, but I am going to eat afterwards. Yeah, no, you should. I'm going to have, and I'm going to get as close. as close as I can to this meal that we're going to talk about. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

That is good. I don't think anyone's done that. Is that true? People who obviously do go and like have eat after the podcast, but no one goes, I'm going to try and replicate it as close as possible. This is great. Well, the question is,

are these are people who clearly don't know how to manifest. Yeah. You know, you have to put out into the world what you want. Yeah. And then it will come into your experience. And that is my belief, billion dollars.

And for me, it's just, it's just about really keeping that idea alive billion dollars. You know what I mean? I do. I guess I've always just billion dollars believe that. But you're going to start with the meal afterwards

and then we'll see what happens with it. I think that I... Race boat. I don't even know what that means. Race boat. You sound like a 12-year-old point out here. And I'd like to have an raceboat and a new jumper. I see what I see a race boat.

I'm imagining one of the really slim raceboats. With the three guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's bouncing. Three guys operate a boat Like, I mean I guess One's navigating Uh-huh

One's having a really good time One's just there for enjoyment Yeah, yeah Or maybe DJing Yeah You can go on a race boat on the Thames And when you go right past Like where the MI5 building

Used to be they play the James Bond theme tune Is that true? So yeah They play it very loud Can you take a raceboat on the Thames Well, someone else has to drive it But you can be As a passenger thing

Yeah, it's a pretty fast bike Oh, it's like a touristy thing Yeah yeah And they go quite slow for a bit. And then they go, it's not until we can get to this point that I can really crank it up. And then they get to that point, crank it up. James Bond theme really loud. Yeah.

And then they go crazy. And then they go crazy. And then the boats just slapping the water and go for it. I couldn't stop laughing. It's pretty funny. One of the hardest laughs I had that I've ever had. And I've had a few in my life. We all have.

Yes. Was I was walking in Notting Hill on a Sunday, like on the Portobello Road years ago. And there was tons of people out. It was like a Saturday or Sunday. It was just tons of people walking. And some of those streets as you're going down, you know, down into really the heart of Portobello Road,

the cross streets, the streets are quite, it's not that long between lights. And there was a guy in like an orange Lambo. Right, like an orange Sherbert Lambo. And he's at the light. Tons of people waiting. And the light turns green for him.

And he cranks, he's got the top down. And he's got the shades. He goes, and he goes about 20 yards before he hits him, really, and stops. And everybody, all the crowd just collectively burst out laughing of this guy. And it must have been so humiliating. I mean, he must have, his self-esteem was low enough that he bought a Lamborghini. Yeah.

And then he got humiliated. Yeah. And the tops down. And the tops down. So he could hear it. I mean, there was no way around it. It was profoundly funny to me. And he manifested.

that orange language. He did. He did. Speaking of things that make us laugh. Okay. Your new film, is this thing so on? Is this thing on?

Is this thing still on? Yeah. The sequel is, is this thing still on? We've thought about it. That's why John Bishop said in the arena. Is this thing still on? We have.

We joked it that would be the story you said that, yeah. Yeah, it's this thing on. We're very excited about it in this country. I mean, we would be anyway, because Brad the Cooper's directing it, you're in it. It's recipes for success.

But also, recipe. John Bishop? Yeah, John Bishop. Yeah, it should be pointed out. It's like inspired by his life, not about his life. But like it's, you know, it's crazy for us. There's a Bish movie. I know. We love Bish. Yeah. We love the Bish. Yeah, love the Bish. And I, crazily enough, I met him over a meal, just to tie back. And thank you, Ben. Absolutely. And just nothing. And I met him over a meal. I was on a barge in Amsterdam.

True story. Having lunch on a barge. And one of those canal boats, but not a barge, I guess. Be funny, an open barge just with a table. And John Bishop's there. And it's me and John Bishop. Just the two of us.

And the candle keeps going out because of the wind. Yeah, and it's raining. It starts riding. We should have one of those glass things to put over it. So the can I, but we both forgot. Anyway, sorry, that's a different. So that's in this thing. Is this still on is that?

Is John Mitchell? Yeah. So we're on a barred and he told me the story. We met through a mutual friend and he told me the story of how he became a stand-up, which I found really inspiring. And that's how it happened. And so his story of that was kind of the kicking off point of inspiring us to write this film. I immediately called my running partner, Mark Chappell,

who we're talking about before the show, was a great guy, hilarious writer, and we worked together many times before. I said, we've got to do this movie about John Bishop. Do you know his story? He said, I've been thinking about that. I know that story. And I've wanted to do something.

So that's how we started. And we brought Bradley, we were talking about with Bradley, sort of sent him this stuff that we've been working on. And he said, great, can I come in? And what you guys have written is shit. Do you mind if I write a good script? Not how that went down. But, and Marco was jokes.

He's like, if Bradley hadn't come on, we would have made a fairly decent romantic comedy. But it is true. Bradley came on and we made this movie. So yeah, but it's Bish at the heart of it. So, you know,

I've been here in London. We've been here in London. We've had the premiere at the London Film Festival. We've done some press and it's been great hanging out with Bish. And after all these years, that was seven years ago. Yeah. And now here we are.

I can't believe that it actually happened. Was there any talk of you going full Bish and doing the Scouse accent? There was never talk of, put it this way. I don't think I have the guts to go full Bish. Not many people have the guts to go full Bish. Even Bish sometimes is like... I'd like to see it.

I'd love to see it. No, yeah, he... No, there wasn't. We toyed with it early on, like, oh, do we... Because he's from Liverpool, Scouser, obviously, and then he was living outside of Manchester and do we do that?

And we just didn't want it to feel, you know, Full Monty. Yeah. You know what I mean? All due respect to Full Monty. Great movement. We wanted to, we didn't want it. It wasn't, that wasn't the story we were telling, you know.

Well, people who wrote the full Montya from that background, I think it's in shape. Exactly. And so if you're writing it, you want to write what you know and not just go, let's imagine what. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what I meant, which is like, we want to do it justice in that way. And then if I'm doing it, I'm trying to do an accent to do, to try to go full bish. Yeah. It's a dangerous accent to try and to try and do as well.

It's hard. It's really hard. It's even hard for people. from Liverpool to do. Yeah. Yeah, they look in pain a lot of the time. Yeah, they do. I would like, I mean, to not do it as a sequel,

but for you guys to make just the John Bishop story, and you do go full Bish and do it in Liverpool. And in a kind of wet-hot American summer style, which I'm probably thinking of because of all the people, Bradley was in that, wasn't it? Yeah, Bradley was, yeah, yeah. So, like, but, like, I would like to see, like, that kind of, you do a film like that about Bish's life,

where you just do play John Bishop, do the voice. And kind of arch, a little bit arch, you mean? Yeah, a little bit of a like a spoof film. It's like really you're allowed to just be as silly as possible. Do you take requests for films ever? We just opened a request line. Yeah, we have a hotline fully manned 24 hours a day. We have a whole team of people.

And then we also have a website. Yeah. And yeah. And then we also do, I also do in-home requests. So if people reach out and you sign up and then I come to your home and you pitch me at your house. Yeah.

Because I don't want to put you out. That's the same kind of you. Well, we always start with still a sparkling water, will I net? Do you have a preference? Yeah. Cool. Don't even joke because this has happened to us before. Really?

Yeah, where a guest just goes, yeah. Is it true? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a one-word answer. Yeah, I mean, you've got your own podcast. You know how this world works. but sometimes guests have no idea. Well, to answer your question,

Sparkling. Lovely. What did you think? Did you, if you had to guess. I think sparkly. I think I would have gone with Sparkling. Yeah. And tell me why.

Just based as a thin slice, just a first impression why you would think I'd go Sparkling. I'm the honest, Will. This is my answer. Because we've only just met. Yeah. But I demand,

I demand rigorous honesty. I've got a pre-existing parisocial relationship with your work. So I would say that I would all, I would think Job, Bojack, a lot of your characters would have sparkling. I can't imagine those characters choosing Stillwater. And your character in Blades of Glory is definitely having sparkling water. So I've got to assume you get casting those roles for a reason, and you're a sparkling water guy.

That's what I would assume. Can I just say something? And I mean this. I appreciate the candor. Personally, I think you're a very well put together man. You're stylish. Thank you. And I can't imagine you having still water. I imagine you sitting on a piazza in Rome, maybe sipping a sparkling. Thank you.

Yeah. By the way, not styled clothing from anywhere. This is all mine. A lot of you guys come in style by their stylist and know they're legitimately. This is me. Yeah. Ben's been styled by a stylist today. Has he?

Yeah. Okay. and still has eyesight. Do you get change in the dark? No, okay. Ben looks very good, I must say. Ben looks good. He always looks good.

He's got a good. Is that a cornerie? It is. If you want it to be. Yeah. We can be. Yeah, it can be if you want it to be. By the way, now, did you guys, when you decided to, the studio is quite nice.

I mean, I feel honored to be in the new space, the renovated space. Yes, you're the first guest. I'll be honest. This is the first time I've seen it today because normally, so we used to have a big table in here and we'd all sit around a table. There's a bit more of a circular discussion.

But I thought this wall was going to go, is what I thought. So it's quite tight in here, isn't it? You guys are quite sorry, I just got this from the bookshel. I just, you're right. Stacey do these book, Dear Minnie. Yes.

You're reading that now. Have you guys had a chance? No, but we have interviewed her about it, but we've not had a chance. I've got a favor. I actually don't know what it's about Oh, Sarah Pasco I know Sir Pasco

There you go Are you going to do a Serapasco movie? That would be good Based on Sam's life By the way Legend Yes, total legend Has he been on the podcast?

He's been on the pod I just saw him last night He was at the screening last night Richard E Grant We're talking about Richard E Grant Well, do you guys Erar any of the video

They might be able to see that Oh yeah Yeah just for the audio Presentationally I don't normally just hold it up for people like this. Have you seen this? That's how you met him last night.

You were just holding it up. I met him. I was holding his book outside of his house. Yeah. With a marker with a Sharpie. And he came to the screening last night. I had the chance to meet him years ago. And Richard E. Grant is my favorite.

Richard L. and I is my favorite film of all time. Anyway, he surprised me. He came to the screening last night. And it was an unbelievable thrill. I came down and he was there in the green room. And he was very complimentary about the film. and he gave me a big hug

and to think that what 17-year-old me would have thought when I saw that film when it came out that he came to a screening of our film blew me away. It was a real life moment. I'm still riding the high right now and also the drugs. But I'm riding two highs.

Yeah, yeah. And that's good. The double highs. It's incredible. What's been the biggest one of those moments you've had in your career? That's a really big one for me. I've had a few, you know,

I'm really getting start-struck by, you know, sporting figures like athletes and people who in that. So there's a guy, there's a Canadian hockey player called Wendell Clark who's been my idol forever. And I finally, and I spent it a lot of time around the Toronto Maple Leafs are my team. So he was the captain and he was just a great, incredible, all-around player, fighter, tough goal score, just a just the salts of the earth dude. And I met him last year about a year and a half ago. And it was one of those things that was incredible. And I'd been around the team a lot and all that, but we kept missing each other for years. I was in an elevator and he got in.

I saw him come in and he stood in front of me like this and then turned around. He was facing out because we're in the elevator. I was behind it. It was with my dad. And then his wife looked over and saw me and saw me. And then she nudged him and he turned around and we embraced and got off the elevator. It was a mind blow. And then Yergen Klopp from Liverpool, who was the manager of Liverpool.

Yeah. Yeah. And then he and I. Was Bish there? Bish was not Well actually He told me last night Bish was there but he was in the stands

And I didn't know he was there And I was down I happened to be on the pitch It was Juergens He happened to be on the pitch Yeah I mean I wasn't I didn't think I was gonna start at all Like there was no

I mean you know You never think you're gonna start You have a good week of training Take your boots with you right Just in case You take your boots And you've had a good week And you know you've trained hard with the lads

And then you never know Because you know You never know what the skips gonna You know what the gaffer wants to do, you know what I mean. Anyway, so that was another thrill, Yergen Klopp. Popat-O-Bron-Bad! Pop-Dom's or bread, Will, on it! Pop-A-Doms or bread! What did he say?

He said, Pop-A-Doms or bread. This is the course at the beginning. Either being brought, Pop-A-Doms or bread. Yes. Bread. Thank you. And don't worry, everyone always needs a translation from what James has said there. Well, also, I mean, it's the sure, sheer volume. And not just the volume in terms of sound.

Yeah. That sound came at me in volume. Yes. You know? I'll be honest. To the power of three. First time we've done it in this space. Did you find it loud?

I did. You know, I found it really loud. I hated it the most I've ever hated it. Yeah. And also I was taking a sip of water. So I nearly, I nearly spat on you.

Would have been great to have a spit take. Yeah, it would have been good. That's the clip sorted. I was, it is. Yeah. I was, I think at the end we should all try spit takes.

Yeah. Okay. Can we do that at the end in case? Because we don't want to spit on the mics and stuff. But I did it. tried to do one yesterday and I ended I knew something was coming up and so the guy said something and then I and then I afterwards filled my mouth with sparkling water and then did a spit take a sparkling spit take is it's rare I mean it's the Cadillac as spit takes because it

comes out and it's got something to it yeah which is again to go not to go back to sparkling water because we moved on we're in red but but really sparkling water I mean it just dances in your mouth yeah spit takes only really work with all liquid, I find, though. You can't do a food spit take particularly, I don't think. No, no, it's not good. I mean, it wouldn't be, it wouldn't be great with any, really,

any kind of food would be pretty gross, you know? Scrammeda. Cheramisu spitake. Revolting. Yeah, but what's the grossest thing you've had to do with food on Canva? And is it the mustard parmesan thing from the vested development? That was pretty rough.

Pretty disgusting. That was pretty rough. Here's a question about that. Yeah. Thank you for teeing yourself up. He will. He will do that. I like it. I like it a lot.

You better get used to that. By the way, you know, I have a podcast. And we, I often say, Is that where we're putting the ad in for your podcast? You're not going to go,

oh, Smartless get it now on Sirius XM, wherever you get podcasts and switch over to Smartless Mobile. I don't know what kind of service you guys have on your phone. Anyway, because if I did something,

that would be gross. Yes. But I also do, I go, I've started doing this thing I noticed on the podcast which drives me crazy. they go, let me ask you a question.

And I'm like, why don't I just ask the question? What am I doing? We're very bad for stuff like this. Quite often, one of us will ask a question, and the other one will say to them, good question, man. Yeah, that's good. I like that's good. I like, we'll gas each other up for our question.

Have you ever read comments and stuff about your, about the podcast, like on Instagram and stuff? Sometimes you'll read stuff. And I agree with them. People are going, I fucking hate Will when he does that. I hate Will when he does that too. I hate me too. We're in agreement here.

We're in agreement. He looks like shit. I agree. I thought I looked like shit too. Anyway, question about arrested development and the mustard and parmesan. In the Ninja Turtles film that you were in? Thank you so much. At one point, your character also eats mustard and parmesan,

and there is Careless Whisper by George Michael playing in the background. Obviously, that is a reference to when it happens in a vested development. Whose idea was that? Obviously mine. Nobody else did one. Sometimes you just look for things to kind of entertain your stuff. self. And so that was like a little Easter egg just

for me. And I said, hey, I think I'm going to do the mustard. And they were like, yeah, go for it. Anyway, all right, move that light. Like nobody gave a shit. It's a very loose improv feel on the Ninja Tertals, right? Man, it's incredible. And you got them. Thanks for getting the vibe. It was those films did well. Yeah. They did well.

For their audience that they, yeah, they did very well. I'm a dedicated Ninja Turtle guy. Is that true? Hero titles they were called here. Did you know that? Were they? Teenage and hero turtles. No, is that true? That's true. It was.

Why, they didn't want to offend the ninjas. I think they were... This country is crawling with ninjas. I think they were worried that we didn't know what ninjas were. Is that true? They didn't want us to learn about ninja. And I guess the first time you learn about ninjas, ideally it shouldn't be, they shouldn't be turtles.

Because that's going to, that's going to color your whole opinion of ninjas moving forward, right? Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, you don't want to sully, you know, just the, the, the, the, the, the legend of ninjas or just the idea of ninjas. You want that to remain as pure as possible. Absolutely. Yeah. And I get that. So bread. You're having bread? So I'm having bread.

Do you have a type of bread that is your dream bread? No, you know, so I was thinking about this. I had a really a nice bread last night that I did not, I didn't partake in, because it was late and I knew I was having a big meal. So I, but I do often, I have a generally my rule is, I'll only have a, have bread at a meal if it's warm. Nice. If it just comes out and it's bread,

if you haven't bothered to warm it up, then I'm not going to bother eating it. Yeah. And do you say that to them? Obviously, I go into the kitchen. Yeah. But I don't have to say it to them because I have pre-made cards that say that.

Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. And it's just a nice, and you just do one of those kind of like really, and just put it like that. Yeah. Push it forward on the desk on the counter.

I've never done that. I'd love to do that. I know, push something for it. Just push something forward. Yeah. Yeah. Or that's the, just let it fall. Like a bank robber style, you put the number, the amount, you know, the no, put the money in the bag.

Yeah, $25. No, and so I have, I'd like it to be one couple things. Also, when you open the restaurant before customers get there, take the butter out of the fridge. Yeah. Yeah. Stop, it's not going to go bad from the time you, everybody gets there in search prepping, and I sit down for my meal. I don't need it to spread across my

ruin the texture of my bread and spread across in little chunks and ball up and now I've got to like take the little the ones that are individually wrapped and warm it with my hands so I can't and that goes for toast too

guess what butter it before you bring to the table for me please are you like it pre-buttered absolutely I want it to come buttered otherwise what are we doing

yeah are we civilized or not How do you know that the restaurant know how much butter you like on your toast? Guess. They should guess. Just in the way that you guess I like sparkling, take a look at me. Yeah. Size you up.

Size me up. Yeah. I go, this guy likes to go deep with butter. Yeah, yeah. I like a nice crispy toast, but then have just a thin layer overall. But I think everybody would pretty much be fine with that. Yeah, yeah, sure. And you do, obviously there are psychos out there that like dry toast.

Well, who are those? And we want to, guess what? We want to try to filter those people out anyway. We want to find, we want to know who you are. Straight to prison. Straight to prison. No trial. For more dry bread.

The thing is they love it, wouldn't they? Oh, they're dying to go to prison. Well, that sounds lovely, Will. Okay. Oh, sorry, the last thing with the bread. I like it when it comes out when those little round, like a little round loaf that they cut, that they quarter. So you cut off a big chunk in it, and then the steamy comes out, and then you put a nice soft butter on it. And here's the ultimate, the Everest of warm bread before a meal, a really well-made pretzel roll.

Pretzel bread. Is that what you would like your dream? Have you ever had pretzel bread before? Yeah, yeah. In America, maybe it's more America. But there's a restaurant in New York that does a pretzel bread that'll blow your, you put it this way. You're going to want to button up your socks because it might it might blow them. off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a shout out in the restaurant? The strip house on 12th Street in New York,

between University and Fifth Ave. For me, pound for pound, best steak in America. Wow. Yeah. And people have all these other big fancy names. This is, they, consistency is key with the restaurant. We all know that. We're all in the restaurant business. And it is just consistently fantastic the way they, the way they go. Just amazing. I don't trust a lot of restaurants to, to order medium rare anymore. Okay. Because they can't get it right. Yeah.

But strip house, I go medium rare because they do it right. And the pretzel roll. The pretzel roll. This is, I mean, to quote many great people,

forget about it. You finally. But yeah, you got a minute. Ben laughed. Got a laugh of a Ben. You start your menu proper now, Will,

your dream starter. Anything specific? Is it from a specific place like the bread one? This one is not from a specific place. It's just, it needs to be well, it needs to just be well done.

I don't mean cooked well done. I mean it needs to be well made. And that is, and I'm going to go, a lot of my stuff I'm going to do are going to be fairly classic. Classic never goes out of style. True. And, um,

it's a good quote that. I guess. Thank you. Framed. I sent it to you guys framed. meanwhile doing that. Another laugh out of Ben. Just for the record.

Chalk it up. F-T-R. Absolutely. Foure. Oh, wow, we. Yeah, foie gras. Little toast points. My friend Joe on the way here, he says sourdough.

I said, great question. Sure. What was the answer? We're going with sourdough? Could be. Yeah. Doesn't necessarily need to be. It can be just brown toast if you want,

but well done little points, you know, triangles. Crunchy. Crunchy. And then nice, good consistency. You know, that's not like ice cold and chill. No, no, no, no, no. Not like a cold paté, like a beautiful, like a real foie gras with like a fig jam.

Oh, nice. Yeah. This is super classic. Very rich. Yeah. Yeah. And the food as well. Yeah.

Oh, and the food is too. Yeah, you're right. How often you're having foie gras? Is this like a special occasion thing or a, Because we don't know the lifestyle you're leading well, you know? Yeah, well. These days, not as much as I'd like to. There was a time there I feel like I used to have it more.

I don't come across it as much. Yeah. It's not on as many menus as it used to be. I think that people got, you know. There's some ethical questions around foie gras, I guess. Which I understand. Yeah. But I don't think a lot of those people are watching this program or listening to this podcast.

Plenty of them will be. Is that true? Yeah. No, no, no. They don't know. No, because they have issues with Tons, tons of them. Metric tons of them.

James has no idea who our audience are. He's not on social media. He doesn't know the reaction to anything. Tons of them. Boy, this is the statement he is standing by. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, they don't have as much. But when you find a good restaurant

that makes a fantastic foie gras, man, stick with it. Yeah. So for me, that's it. That's the bees' knees. I know you say just as long as it's prepared well, is there a restaurant that you know that you found that does a good version of it? Sorry, what did you say it was?

Foie gras. Yeah, you gave it a compliment a minute ago. It's the bees news. Bees? Carry on. Well done. Yeah. Rest is development.

Yeah, yeah. My girlfriend made me promise that if there was an opportunity to do that, I would do that. And a boy, did I serve. So what am I getting sent to prison now? No, no, no, no. The problem is he served.

Just sent a prison to eat dry toast? Yeah. Is that what? Is that what's happening now? The problem is, well, I don't know if you know, you served up the opportunity,

then we moved on and then James Medi go back so you could do it again. Well, no, his timing is amazing. Yeah. I'm not happy with how it turned out. Of course not.

I'm not sitting here delighted about it. Yeah. But if it, yeah. Yeah. She didn't listen to this episode. She would have heard you say B's knees and then it moved on

and then she was like, how has he missed the opportunity? Yeah, that would be trouble. End of the relationship. So even my relationship's over or did that. Can imagine if she, if she listened to it and you came home

and she's just sitting like in the front room or I don't know what your situation but whatever that is you come in and she's sitting with her head and her hands in the dark and she says can we talk and you think this is it

I'll already know what it's about but you'll know I know what this is about I'll be like Benito's fucking fucked me and kept it in the edit heavy I'll have known it was his fault

that would be heavy but thanks for letting me do it and responding nicely to it of course yeah yeah yeah You know, there's a lot on your shoulders there. Yeah, great, brilliant. There we go. That was for her.

Absolutely. That was to bail you out. Show you what? I want you to be happy. Successfully. Yeah, okay. Thank you, Will. Your dream main course.

Staying in the classic theme. Please. Because the classics are classics for a reason. Frame it. Right. I mean, is there a framing store near here? We can sign something else. I don't know if you guys have enough wall space for the shit.

I'm dropping. I'm going a nice big, thick cut, bone-in, dry-aged rib-eye. Oh, yes. Medium rare. The king of the steaks. The king of the steaks. Marbleized. Yeah.

Flavor. A little charged, as they call it, Pittsburgh. That's what they call it. A little bit charred on the outside. Medium rare on the inside. But not raw. Mm-hmm. Just the center, the pinkest part, obviously.

and almost a little bit red at the very some almost. And that, man, you're going to, that's some good eating. Yeah. I'm in complete agreement with you. That's the, that's the dream. So that's the dream entree. Yeah. That's the main.

Now, for those of you who are just listening, Will is mind me how big this steak is? No, this is the plate. Oh, this is the plate. But by the way, sure. Yeah. Sure. If you want to bring me a dry age bone in rib eye that's this big.

Flintstone size. Yeah. Flintstone's time. Yeah. I'm going to eat it. Yeah. Okay? Would you say yabodabba do?

When you saw it? I wouldn't say yabodab don't. Let me put it that way. Middle of the plate, big, juicy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you're going to say, you're going to say,

well, how are you going to eat that? How are you going to? Is it coming? It's just in its own juices? It's in its own juices. Yeah, yeah. But it's not just. in its own juices.

Because what you're going to have on this side, never over top, never put it, poured on it in the kitchen, but on the side, so you can do it according to, you're going to make your own assessment when you see the cut of meat

when it comes out, this Pittsburgh charred, beautiful bone-in, meat and marri, ribeye. You're going to have a little pot of au-povre. We've not even heard this word. What?

Never heard this word before. It's o'povre. You do GCSE French. Don't tell him what it is. We're going to try and make him guess. Oh, God. O. Poive.

Poivere. Poivere. James. You definitely studied French, because we all had to study French. Yeah. How's it spelled? P O, I, V, R, E.

Poive. And it's, how'd you say? It is not salt. but butter that's a big clue that was a huge clue from you will

pepper pepper sauce of course you could have worked it out from what goes with steak and then you should have worked it out by it's not salt eats pepper

well that was the big clue that was the biggest of the clues because peppers is opposite of salt oh poivre you might refer to as peppercorn pepper corn

pepper corn sauce is that what you call pepper corn sauce yeah yeah but and that's cute it's delightful but it's really au poire

What's exciting about you doing this voice is it's reminded me that you are our first guest on the podcast who was in a film, the film that gets referenced the most on this podcast. Is that right? Ratatoui gets referenced more on this podcast than any other film. That makes sense. And you are a very first guest who was in Ratatou. You play a French character in that. German.

German, your character, Horse. Horse. Horst. Who is like an ex-convictor. No one knows what he did. Yeah. With this, I killed a man. Yeah.

Yeah. Very exciting to have a... I remember all my dialogue, shall we? Yeah, please go for it. But this is huge for the pod. It's a huge moment. I'm really honored to be here as a representative of Rattui. I mean, I assume you were just you're in a booth doing multiple lines all day on your own.

No, I was actually in a on a sort of a on a stage, on a, you know, mixing stage. sort of recording stage with Brad Bird, the director. Oh, yeah. In there with me. Oh, which was exciting. And I've told, he knows this,

but I've, because I've said before, I got there. I don't know what happened. I didn't realize that, he was like, you know, and we were going through

and he had all the materials there, and he took me through all the boards and I was in there. And he goes, and obviously, you know, Horace is German. And I went,

obviously. And I'm like, Christ, and I broke into a sweat. Yeah. And like, really quickly, I was like,

and I, you know, I'm not like known for my accents. And, uh, or am I? And I, um, and I, um, and I, so I was like, oh shit, like I do like a German, like, just like a bar tricky, like to your friends. So anyway, so I just did it on the spot and like, all right. He's like, you ready to go? I'm like, yeah, totally.

And then kind of got through it. How did that information not get through to you? Is that? Did you not read the email? I have the worst representatives. It's one of them's here today is the worst of the bunch. He's just, he's just, he's, the thinnest of ice.

He's out there right now. He's probably listening. It drives me. Knowing him is not listening to this. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. He's on his phone. Yeah, yeah.

Scrolling X. X, by the way. What? Come on. X. Shut up. Named by a four-year-old. What do you do?

We're going to go on X. Oh, okay. Like a ding-dong. Anyway. It's about time someone took that guy down. I mean, he's didn't take it himself. down. Fuck is he unfunny.

He's smart, but fuck is he unfunny. Okay, so here's the other thing. Opwav. Yeah. We. Right. That's in the middle of the plate.

And you're probably thinking like, you're having that on its own or are you going to have some sides with that? It's not living alone on the plate. It's got a side, but that side needs to be right next to it. You want to husband it with that. Touching.

They're touching. They've got to be touching, a certain part. And you're going to understand why. because it is a nice medium cut, dark golden brown French fry. A pile of them on the side. For a second, I thought it was one. Not a single one.

No, no. I'm not insane anymore. A pile of fries. Beautiful. Perfect French fries. You know, and you're going to find a good fry like this. like a sort of a steak-free type fry, you're going to find it in France, like in Paris.

Yeah. In Belgium, you'll find a delicious fry. You'll, because with a moult-free, if you want, you could go, that's not where we're having tonight. No. But I'm saying it's that caliber fry on the plate. And the reason being, as you start enjoying this delicious steak,

the juices start to run. And under that pile of golden goodness, it starts to pool a little bit with the steak juice and the o'povro the pebblecone, if you would. And it creates this soggy base of fry that you're then able to put your fork in

and now you're applying some soggy. And if you want, and I might want to do this in this meal, I might, excuse me, and call back, and I might get like a thing and I can taste it now. I might ask for just a little side of like a creamy horse radish sauce.

Every other, not every bite. Every other bite might have a little creamy. And now everything's working. And it's all soluble. I love that you're not initially asking for the horseradish. No, I wait. You wait. You hold off.

And then you think, I'm going to have that. Because you go pure first. Yeah, yeah. And then you start to add to it. You're not going to build a house. You're not going to build the roof first on a house. No. We've built the foundations of the fries,

but the foundations are flooding slightly, aren't there? There's a damp basement in there. Yeah, yeah. And for the fries, what you might have. So for the ones underneath, you got the sauce, you know, for the ones on top, you have a little thing of mayonnaise. Yeah.

Dip the fries than mayonnaise. Lovely. At this point, you're virtually untouchable. Okay? You're bulletproof now. Yeah. You're in the middle of it, and you're thinking, like, we're done.

Well, we're not. We're not done? No. Because we got some, on this other, but we have a nice little plate of beautifully buttered, kind of almost glistening green beans. Nice. So there's a vegetable involved here. Of course.

Well, there are two, because there's going to be, there's going to be a late edition that's going to come over the top. That's what we were done here. Well, no. This is going to drive you mad. Okay. This is going to be, people are going to be ripping their headphones off this podcast and going out for this meal.

Yeah. you've got the green bean now and then they put down and this this is something if i see on the menu i never turn it down okay a beautiful bowl of cream corn oh yeah oh yeah yeah old school nice yeah yeah classic cream corn and that's obviously also introducing another slight liquid element to the plate if you're putting that on the plate that's right you've got the au au aurovre yeah you've got the juices you've got and now you've got the cream corn you've got the cream corn you've got the cream That's turning into a lovely little melange, isn't it? Oh, it's a delightful.

Yeah. It's a delightful, it's the eaten mess at that point of Andres. It's a savoury, it's a mess. Yeah, it's a savory, mess. And this cream corn, like, how creamy are we talking about? What's your perfect type of cream? Not too creamy, not runny, for me. But also, not too, you know, not too runny and creamy, but also it does need to have cream.

Sometimes they try to skimp on the cream. And you're like, well, now you're just serving me niblets of corn. It's the first word in the dish. Yeah. You've got a lead with cream, right? Yeah, it almost looks like a fondue. Yeah. It's not.

It's not. It's cream corn. You want to be able to spoon it on, but you don't want to have to ladle it on. Exactly right. There you go. You're fully on board. Frame that. Frame that.

I'd love to frame it. Can I ask a question about the bone? About the bone? In the steak, because it's a bone in the steak. Thank God. And then I have following questions. I've never had sex before. He was going to ask you.

Is that true? Yeah, it's normally at this point I ask the guest about what sex is like. Okay. You ask them what it's like and if he should do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because the steak sounds nice.

Keep holding off. Yeah. I hold off. I want it to be special. Yeah. Got a promise ring. Wow. Yeah.

I promise to do it. It's a promise ring to myself. Oh, okay. See, I see. One day I will do it. Okay. Good for you. The bone in the steak?

Yeah. How big is this bone? What are we talking? I mean, it can be six, seven, eight inches. It might be pretty substantial. Look, I'm not opposed to somebody that you're eating with saying, hey, do you mind if I bring it back for my dog? You know, that whole bit. People do that whole thing.

So you're not picking up the bone and gnawing it, are you? It depends. It depends on how much is left on there. because if there's some decent meat and or delicious fat, stuck to that bone, I'm going to go at it. Yeah. And I respect you for that. I'm the guy who's cheering the bone, I think.

You are. And I'm going to say to whomever I'm eating with, I'm going to pick this thing up. Yeah. I might hit this for a minute. Is there any situation where you wouldn't do that, where you're worried about sort of politeness or the king? Yeah.

King Charles. King Charles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. Like in some sort of like efficient. Now, look, if we're up at, you know, wherever it is, wherever they're, you know, Balmoral or something.

And in the summertime where we're just kind of chilling out, he's not going to mind, I don't think. No. I'm imagining him in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts at that point. Sure. Although it's drafty. Yeah. I will say.

Even in the summer, it's quite drafty. Yeah. Yeah. I imagine. It's where most drafts originate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, from Scotland.

Yeah. Yeah, of course. So. If you are going to have dinner with a friend, and they're going to say, can I take the bone back for my dog? Yeah. If you're thinking now of all your friends,

different dogs for the dream meal, who is the dog you'd most like the bone to go to? Great question. A friend's dog. Great question. Do I have, am I thinking of a specific dog? I do, I am thinking of a specific dog.

And his name is Emerson. Mm-hmm. A little bit older. Which actually, coincidentally, is my middle name. Oh. Yeah.

And he's got this big, sort of like, we still know what it is, like this big kind of thing on his paw right now. How is his Emerson? I think he's 11. It looks like a tennis ball under his thing, but he's okay. And he's a good boy. He's kind of like a beautiful gray lab. Beautiful.

And he would go crazy for it. And I will say, because you hear this thought, but he is actually a particularly good boy. Yeah. Yeah, because they get told that all the time, you're a good boy. Because I hear people actually hear this today. Today, before I came in here, I crossed the street of woman as well, and I could tell that this woman, because she was telling her dog that he was a good boy, but I don't know.

Yeah. But Emerson is legitimately a good boy. Yeah. He's a good, good boy. They're not all be good boys. Yeah. Would you want the bones to go to Mr. Peanut Butter or not? Oh, from BoJack.

Bojack Horseman. Yeah. And he's been on this podcast, Mr. Peanut Butter? Yes. Paul Tompkins has? Yeah, yeah. Has he really? He has?

I love Paul Tompkins. He's amazing. He is hilarious. Yeah. He and I used to sit together at the Bojack Horseman recordings, like the table reads, rather. And Amy Sedaris was never there. She was always in New York, and she would call in on speakerphone for table reads. And then sometimes she would read other characters, just if they'd ask her to because they would have all these, like, and they didn't have it cast yet or whatever.

And Amy would be like, sure, I'll do it, because she's the coolest and she'll do anything. And she would take these huge swings with these characters and just go crazy voice. in political I would fucking die I have so many memories of that yeah she's one of the funniest people yeah ever he is

he is but Amy Sadavis oh Amy Sideras she's in is this thing on in the film yes yeah she is very exciting yeah and I've known her for for ages I adore her I adore her

she's so funny my wife is so obsessed with Amy Siddaris but mainly you haven't had sex with your wife I'm holding off You told me to hold off. Sorry, your wife is obsessed with Amy Sedaris. Mainly from the videos of her showing you around where she lives and all of the plastic food collection she's got and stuff.

Dude, she's the best. Yeah. So you're not sending Mr. Peanut Butter the Bone. Emerson's getting it. Yeah, no, no, no. I mean, he's an animated. That would be foolish. Yeah.

Like, I'm going to send it to Raphael Bob Waxburg's house, you know, who created the show. Yeah. And say, hey, can you send this to the animators? Yeah, and see if they can feed. Right? People would be worried about you at that point, I think. Yeah, I just don't even, I'm just trying to sort of, just trying to walk through that, like, right now, like, what that looks like, that's...

They would have to draw the bone, I guess. They would have to copy the bone. Yeah. Yeah, BoJack. That was a lifetime ago. Yeah. All the time, like, all these time did people go, like, that's the horse from horse and around. I'm like, I know, man.

I mean, I love it. I love it. It's really funny writing about Raphael. Did you mean to make a horse sound then after you? I mean, that's legit. But he never even did that. No. It's just like one of those things you're like, what do you mean?

You're just exhausted talking about BoJack. Yeah. Too much. It's a lot of BoJack talk. I just didn't say too much. I mean, I obviously love it. And again, he's brilliant. What he wrote was brilliant.

But I get it. I always like it when people get asked to things. especially you're actors. Is there a project you've done? How do you like that as a ramp up to a question? I liked it a lot. I like it when other people ask this question. So I'm going to have a go at us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a go, man. Is there something you've done that you don't get asked about enough that you just wish would come up because you're so proud of it? It was something that you think is a hidden gem that people don't talk about enough? No hidden gems. All the gems are on display. No gems.

Yeah. That's the problem. I need to get some gems first and then I'll have, then I'll have hidden gems. in gems, man, that's why. It's like the crown jewels you're You can't see your own gems if you're in the gem box. That's true. Yeah. Frame it. Frame it.

Frame it. Yep. Your dream drink. Speaking of BoJack. Well, it's a tough one, like your dream drink. For me, it's non-alcoholic. So, what am I going to say? The American Champagne? Sorry, Diet Coke. I actually had a

restaurant at a waiter at a French restaurant say the me once, taking a drink orders and I go just a dikeye from me goes, oh, American champagne. And like the shittiest voice, I swear to God. And I was like, thank you for judging me. So, yeah, I'd probably stay with the sparkling.

If pressed, I'll have myself a DC, but I do, I don't mind a non, like a really good non-alcoholic beer. I had really good one in Switzerland because I do like that taste. It's good. So I'll have one of those every once in a while. I forget what the brand was. I look. tried to find it

was really good. That's the thing with non-acoholic beers isn't it? When you do find a good one Yeah, you're like, all right. You have to write it

down straight away because otherwise, you're not going to remember it. Later on, you'll be like, oh my God. Yeah. I finally found a good one

and now. I've got the same thing. It's like forever. It happened in a bar and every time people bring up non-alcoholic beers and finding good ones,

all I can say to them is go to Cafe Otto and Hackney and hopefully they've got the same one on still because I can't remember what it's called. Nice. Which is very,

And I think that was Swiss as well. I might call them. Yeah, called Cafe Auto. Cafe Otto in Hackney. And say, what's the beard that James had? What beer did you have the night where there was a guy performing on the horsehair harp? Yeah.

And then they'll know. Horsehair harp. Yeah, yeah. Got it. You had a good night of that? Great night. A good night. Great night, banging night.

Just horsehair harp, front to back, start to finish. There's a guy with a really bad cough who had to leave. and I watched him go up to security and show on an iPad a thing that said because my cough is so bad please can I have a refund written on the iPad

written on the iPad? Yeah, he got a massive iPad written on it he stood in front of security he wrote it out first while still standing in front of them and then showed them the iPad that said because my cough is so bad

please might have a refund and why didn't he just say it to them because his coffee is so bad? I have no idea it was like within the first five minutes of the show I suspected he was trying to be respectful

to the Was it part of the show? No. I was just, I was at the back, I saw him trying to get out. Maybe it was part of the show just for me, and I'd feel lucky if that's the case. How peculiar. But it felt like he just didn't like the horsehair harp. Yeah.

Because I hadn't heard him coughing. And then all of a sudden the cough came on. Suddenly, as soon as the music started. Classic. This over-the-top cough, straight to security, asking for a refund. I think anyone who carries an iPad around is a danger. Anybody who carries one around Certainly we should be suspect of

But anybody And I mean this You guys just spend a little bit of time with me now Yeah If you take a fucking picture with an iPad Straight to jail You're in prison with a dry brother You're you've got a future

Dry toast my friend Yeah yeah And you're taking big pictures I want that to become like a saying That people now instead of going to prison Like You're going to be eating a lot of dry You got a lot of dry toast in your future.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I think it's, aren't me saying that if they eat the dry toast, they get sent to prison? Yeah. Because if so, if that's what they're getting fed in prison, they've landed on their feet. Well, the irony is that when they get there, it's only dry toast. Yeah. So we're going to have to put them in a prison that only serves very wet toast, right?

His Majesty's prison system isn't bringing a lot of butter. They're not worried about making sure that the prisoners get butter on their toast. Yeah. We got a lot of other things that we're worrying about. I wouldn't. We're trying to balance a budget over here. You know, the Chancellor's under fire. You know, NHS is all of it underfunded. You know, they're closing down 24-hour police stations like crazy through London.

There's an epidemic of phone theft. Yeah. And it's all because of middle market, you know, second-hand store, and they're sending these European phones into China. Yeah. You know so much about England. Just wake up. Wake up.

I say that. Sorry, no, I watch that on Wake Up London. And a lot of that is down to butter in prisons as well. It's all about butter in prison. The problem is if you give them too much butter in prison, they can squeeze themselves through the bars. I'll do it. As soon as he started saying it and smiling to himself,

I was like he's going to say they can squeeze through the parlour. You must say things to yourself sometimes that make you smile. Of course. Yeah, I'm imagining the image. It's a funny image. It's a really funny image. I can't imagine you smiling at your own stuff. You've been very, just like a slice of toast, very dry.

Have I? Yeah. I'll have a smile. I'm smiling on the inside. Yeah. I get accused of laughing at my own jokes with my friends from time to time. Sometimes, you know, Bateman, this guy, he's an actor, he's been in like, what do you know from? He's pretty middle of the road, but he, what made me think of him was the mayonnaise, just because he's so wet.

Wait, is, he'll often say to me, Jay. will often say, oh, you couldn't get through your own. Oh, it's so funny, you couldn't get through your own bit. Yeah. It's good to be called out on it now. It is. It's fun. So it's been a particular, like, a take or something on a film or TV show where you couldn't, couldn't get over it.

We'd laugh and ruin a lot of takes. Well, yeah, a few times. When we used to do Rested Vellment back in the day, Tony Hale would make me laugh. He played Buster. He made us all laugh so much when he would get into character, when he would kind of ramp up to Buster. Like, you'd be talking to something. They'd go, okay, guys, here we go. And we'd be ready.

And he'd go like, I'd fucking keel over. So, yeah, some of the big laughs. With him, it's the nearly touching his face, then not touching his face. All of that. Like, he's about to and then stop.

It's too much. Tony Hale is brilliant. Brilliant guy. And a lovely guy. Every character in that show was like wild and had something particularly funny about them. So that must have been a nightmare to try and get through stuff. Yeah, it was a lot of it was quite insane.

Yeah. A lot of it's quite insane. Yeah, crazy times, man. We always have a secret ingredient on the show that if the guest chooses it as part of their meal, they get kicked out of the restaurant. And sometimes we make it relevant to the guests and their past work.

And with you, there was like, we were sport for choice because the amount of food references there is in a lot of stuff you've done, but especially the rest of development. Yeah. And your character in particular, do you want to, because we're at the dessert now, do you want to before we're going to dessert

to have a little guess at what we might have chose for you that is relevant to your character? And sorry, this particular item is a thing that would get me... If it was on your menu, we'd kick you out of the podcast. Okay. I'll say that I'm asking you it now because it's too late for it to be on the menu. What can't be the mustard and parmesan because that would be... You brought it up, so that would be very harsh.

That would be. That would be a low, that would be pretty low. So it might be something with club sauce. It's club sauce. Was it? Yeah. Straight away. Straight away. How does that feel to get it straight away?

Pretty good, right? You felt pretty good. I did feel decent about it. I mean, you know, I'm paying attention. I could say you feel like. I've got an excellent memory. Yeah. Yeah.

For stuff that revolves around me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for all of your own work. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And stuff that people have said. Yeah. And I love to hold a grudge. Yeah. What's your biggest grudge?

My biggest grudge. I feel like we're about to hear the term Jason Bainterman again. Yeah. I mean, I really. I've been trying to undermine him. The fact that he's had so much success despite all the work I've put in to bad shit talk him.

Yeah. That, for me, that's rough. Yeah. That's a tough pill to swallow. Yeah, he's working with Jude Law now. That's got to be annoying for you. Oh, he and Jude Law are best friends. And they got this show

that everybody loves because it's really good. Yeah. And he's really good in it and he directed it really well. And everybody loves it and he always does great stuff. this will make you feel good though. I watched it. Yeah. And I loved it.

That does make me feel good. That's really good. I think you're misunderstanding more. I almost barped up my dream meal. We're in the dessert. Yeah. Now, this is a fun new thing we're doing on the podcast. Ben and I are doing.

Yeah. That we came up with. Telepathically. Yeah. God, we made a connection. Is where you got a guess, and I'm going to be honest with you. And those guys in

the other room that my whole team who came with me, all 12 of them know what my dream dessert is. Okay. Okay. And so, I want you to just try to, and for realsies, too. Let's go for reals. So we're doing a guessing game.

So here's the thing. Each of you guess what you think might, I know we might not have time for this, but what you think my dream dessert is. Yeah. So going by, so already we've got the foie gras, the massive perfectly cooked steak sparkling water so I think we're looking in like pretty

rich fancy no messing around territory classics are classic for a reason classics are classics for a reason let's remember that classic never goes out of style I would almost go for like the perfect chocolate lava cake or something I thought you might choose

I think that's a great shout that's a very I will not send one back if you brought it to the table at this meal, I'd say, fair enough. Yeah. And I'd eat it. And I'd be delighted with every morsel.

Yeah. It's not that. It's not first choice, but it's in there. It's up there. Okay. You've not mentioned this dessert already. I have not mentioned this dessert. I would never do that either.

You would not do that. Yeah. And can I give you a hint? Is that okay? You can, but as long as if I guess it right, there's not any protest from James saying, but he got a hint and I didn't. I won't protest. Yeah.

I mean, we're not keeping the score. The stakes are fairly low. I keep score. Well, the stakes are fairly big than the one you play. Well, they're fairly medium rare. Yeah. And it is fairly big.

But it's also low from where you get it from the cow. Are you giving me a hint? Classic. Probably classic American, classic North American. Classic North American. Because I don't want you to be like,

oh, creme brule. I'm not doing that. No, we're not suflay. We're not. No, no, no. Okay. And I don't think, I think you would have reacted to chocolate in a different way if it was chocolatey. It can't be, and it is, and there is a chocolate element to it for sure.

Ah, okay. There is, but it's not the. Because I was thinking cobbler, but. Love. Again, look, I have such a sweet tooth. Yeah. Cobbler, in that area, in that general area, I'm going with like a, like a cobbler, fine. Yeah.

I don't mind a cobbler. You can't tell by my shoes. But I also love. If you're listening to this, you've got to. watch it. Yeah. A lot of this is visual. You're missing out on a lot.

Just the winks alone. Yeah, the winks. Seeing the shoes, the shoes that were the joke. Yeah. I love making a visual joke on a podcast. Yeah. It's the best.

I love a cobblower. I love a pie. But I love like an apple brown betty they call it. Like it's sort of like almost like a mini like a cobbler that's got sort of like a brown sugar. Yeah. Sort of crust with a sort of a pie e cobbler and the inside of the with like a thick cream or or a vanilla ice cream, yes. That's not it.

It is much more classically chocolatey dessert and classic, been classic for a minute. Brownie? A brownie situation? That's my guess. That's my guess. Okay. Brownie's doing that.

Yeah. Well, I'll guess like a huge ice cream Sunday. Yes. Yes. Is the subsection. Yes, I'm going to say, I'll allow it in a way. That is normally, that's there on the mountain. but at the very peak of it

Banana split Do you guys If you throw fruit into this fucking dessert I'm flipping I'm flipping the table Yeah yeah Do you guys do drum rolls Ben do a drum roll

Okay James is a drummer You should do it really It's funny if I get Ben to do it Yeah that's true Quite good actually Baked Alaska Oh we should have got baked Alaska

That is so in keeping with the whole menu Yeah I feel an idiot for not getting it. Yeah. No, don't, don't blame yourself. I am blaming myself. Baked Alaska and there's a chocolate element to it.

Yeah, to the baked Alaska. Yeah. The ice cream is. The ice cream, yeah. This is funny. It comes out, it's flaming. Yeah. Right, they do the whole thing.

Like you with a cream corn, if it's on the menu, I've got to order it. That's true. And you said that before. Same with me. Yeah. So I'll tell you what funny. So, well, you'll decide if it's funny. Years ago at a restaurant in California with my mom,

and dad up in a sort of Montecito north of Los Angeles place called the San of Cedar Ranch beautiful place really top top top incredible restaurant there absolutely delicious meal every single time I've been there just the three of us my mom and dad and me and we're having dinner and somehow the conversation we're talking about dessert and my dad says oh I love a baked Alaska he says you know this restaurant around the corner from where we grew up in Toronto where he said this restaurant that he used to go to all the time called Browns on McPherson, shout out if it's still there.

It might still be open. Classic. My dad said one time he was at Browns years ago, and he was talking about baked Alaska, at which point he sees the waiter, it wasn't on the menu, he sees the waiter come through with a baked Alaska and put it on the next table in front of the guys sitting at the next table.

And he said to the waiter, you have a baked Alaska, and he goes, we do tonight. He goes, I'll get one. He tells me this story. He goes, oh, that's crazy. at which point out the window because we're sitting on just inside. We see a guy serve the guy outside the window a baked Alaska. Wow.

Yes, please. We said, you know. That's the universe talking. The universe is saying, motherfucker, you're going to have a bake Alaska. You've got to order it at that point. You have to. Although one time I ate at that very same restaurant with Don Johnson of, you know,

Don Johnson fame. Yeah. And the waiter came up and he said, handed out dessert. He said dessert. and Don said, no, that's character actor food. Brilliant. Brilliant.

Character action. He was right. So I'm like, if Don Johnson's not eating dessert, I'm not. Yeah. So I had them, obviously, I secretly went back and got in a bag and ate it in my car. Through tears streaming into my baked Alaska. Baked Alaska is not car food, man. It's not great car food.

It does not travel well. We talked about it. We talked about showing up with the meal today. Yeah. I said, what if we just show up? So here's a deal. I thought for a minute that we were going to eat this meal today, right? I said that.

Yes. I thought, man, that would be so great. And the thing I was looking forward to the most was the baked Alaska. And that's how we got to. Well, we could have brought it. It's a very ambitious thing to think a podcast is going to cook for you, I think. It is. On the perfect steak.

Yeah. It is a lot. Yeah. We would have loved to have done it for you, but we don't know the first thing about how to make it. Do either of you cook? I cook when I can, which is not very often. I like to cook. I enjoy it.

I've never done a baked Alaska though. I don't know how it works. The ice cream's cold and then the thing's hot. It takes a couple days because you've got to layer it. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I know. I know that my grandmother used to make a really great ice cream dessert that took a few days that had like the base of it was sort of this very particular

kind of specific rather a Canadian chocolate bar. And then you do one layer of ice cream and then that needs to set for like a day. And then you do another layer. It had a bunch of different. It was incredible. Yeah, that's good. There's a restaurant in Leeds called OX Club, which we've shouted out a few times on the podcast,

and their dessert is pretty much always a different type of baked Alaska. Really? I'm going to Leeds soon, and they wanted to do a collab for 10 years of this restaurant, however long it's definitely not 10 years. But like, and we've got a menu that's just like my little special menu. And it's the baked Alaska that I had the first time I went in there. Really?

Yeah, I'm excited about the... What's it called again, but? Ox Club. Ox Club, in Leeds. Leeds. I don't know how often you get up to Leeds. Leeds in general is brilliant for food now. Is it?

You're sport for choice there, yeah. Really? Yeah. No, I've never been to Leeds. It's a great city. It's not all about London now in the UK. You know, there's some incredible restaurants all around the UK. Yeah, I buy that.

So this is a chocolate baked Alaska, specifically, chocolate ice cream. I want to read your menu back to you now and see how you feel about it. Ben tells this is the first time. that it's going to be on this iPad here. Oh, I see. Yeah. I was wondering how, I was wondering, I was like, is this like Darren Brown part of this?

And you guys had already written down my answers. Yeah. It would have been lovely to do that and, like, confuse you and confound you. But James told you exactly what we're doing. Oh, I'm just concerned with my own existence. I'd be so, yeah. And by the way, Ben takes photos on that iPad.

Yeah. And actually, all it says on here is, I have a cough, can I have a refund? So I don't know. Really nice. Both of them really nice. You would like sparkling water. You would like a little round, warm loaf of pretzel bread with butter.

From? From, well, Benito's not Vietnam. The strip house. The strip house, good memory. Starter, foie gras with toast and thick jam. Yeah. Main course, thick cut, bone-in, dry-aged rib-eye steak, Pittsburgh style with aubrovo.

well done side medium cut golden well done take that back you know you're sorry medium rare side dish medium cut golden brown french fries with creamy horse radish when you ask for it buttered green beans and creamed corn coming over the top drink now you did say diet coke or non-a alcoholic beer from switzerland i think we'll let you have both of those thank you man and dessert baked alaska with chocolate ice cream yeah how do you feel hearing that back I feel really good. Look, there are a couple things that do want to say. Yes.

One thing that I didn't mention, there's an honorable mention that you could throw in there if you want to cleanse the palate between the far ground the steak is that I wouldn't be opposed to a butter lettuce salad. You know, with it just like a light dressing, like a light sort of Italian dressing. That'd be nice. You know, I love a butter lettuce quite refreshing. And I want to make a thing. And I don't want to make, I don't want to get into any trouble here.

But when it comes to the fries, I want to be clear. if you serve me what they call shoe string fries i was going to ask earlier we have a fucking problem yeah we have a fuck those aren't fries a hole okay what you're serving me is a bunch of BS so if you run a place and you serve shoe string fries nobody near you and around you has the guts to tell you that it's shit yeah people are lying to you just know and I'm saying this I'm saying this as a favor to people who have establishments that serve shoe string fries. What I'm telling you is everybody around you is lying to you. Yeah.

For some reason, you're either their employer or they feel insecure in their friendship with you. And so they're not telling you the truth, which is that everybody hates shoestring fries. And you're going to go, after listening to this podcast, you're going to go, that guy will learn out of him. I've never heard of him before. He seems like a real a-hole. And I don't, and so I'm going to go and ask those people. all my life. And I say, is it true that you all hate truth street father?

They're going to go, no. No, they're great. They do hate them. Yeah. And they're not telling you the truth because either you're a dick or they think that you can't handle the truth because you're a dummy. Yeah. That's the truth.

So you're getting the straight dope from me. And you can either choose, and you can continue on living this fantasy or you can get real and 86 are from the menu. And, you know, and really just get with the program. Get some real fucking fries on that menu. You like them, don't you? This fucking podcast. I agree.

They all stick together. You lift one up. The whole thing comes up like a big nest. You're never satisfied. You can't have a satisfying bite. Yeah, I don't like him really. Well, I say, this menu might be one of the most sort of classically masculine-feeling menus we've had in a long time.

It feels like you've ridden in on a horse. Oh, is it? Yeah. This is like, yeah. You've really swung it around. I can imagine, I can imagine that you get some people who come in, especially I'm thinking about people I know who have been on this,

who come in and trying to like leave their mark. Right? Sort of like the, so hoping that you're going to go, wow. Yeah. We never would have thought of that. Yeah. How incredible.

Oh, you must be so different. Right? Trying to impress you with their... Well, who are you thinking of? Because people that you know have been on this. Is there anyone particularly a moment? I'm not going to name people. I think you should name people. I can't name names. No.

We live in dangerous times. David Cross? He's been on this podcast. Definitely. Not that he remembers it. David Cross. But yeah, I imagine David had some... You went out there and had some stuff where they tried to take a swing and make his mark.

Yeah, he did make his mark. He deliberately, he was trolling me deliberately on the podcast. episode. On this one. Yeah, he knows I like desserts. Yeah. And he chose Putin as his starter. And then he chose Putin as his dessert to upset me.

Wow. And it worked. He upset me a lot. That is upsetting. Yeah. I do love Putin. And then he got me later with that. You're having a dessert and you're having Putin.

I'm having a dessert. Everything's geared towards my dessert. Putin is your national dish. Yeah. Yeah. It is. Yeah. What would you do if someone tried to serve you shoestring, Putin?

Oh my God. Ed. We were nearly home. free and now this guy is about to flip his lid. You just described to me a particular kind of hell that I don't wish on anybody. Yeah. You know?

And I've seen some shit. I've seen some dark shit, you know, over and, you know, just in the stuff that I've done that I can't even talk about. Yeah. You tell us after, yeah? You tell us after about the dark shit. I don't even know if I can. I got to, I'm under, I'm under military NDAs.

Yeah. Well, it's sad to leave it on a dark note. And that's my fault. And that is my fault. It's your fault. Yeah. Could have left it on a happy note. But thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant, Will.

You've been a fantastic guest. Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, my imagination is stuffed. So now where are you going to go for this meal? There are a couple of places that I have in mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I name them.

Yeah. I have one close to it, but I might go back. The Dover in Mayfair. Have you ever been there? No. It's open late. Yeah. It's open light.

They're really nice people over there. It's a great new restaurant. And I've gone there a couple times because I've gone because it's good and it's open late. Yes. Which is nice. And rare for the UK. And rare for the UK. To be open light, yeah.

It's a cool, cool little spot. So maybe I'll go there. I mean, to be fair, I'm here for one more night. So I also might go and have a curry tonight. Yeah. Lovely. Yeah. I heard a really interesting story of why how Indian food became so popular in the UK,

which had to do with there was a dearth of restaurants. that served kind of everybody, like restaurants that were available for everybody. And there had something to do with like available. There weren't a lot of, you think of a classic English middle class or your working class restaurant, there wasn't one when you think about it. And so these guys went around and figured out

that you, you know, that this was something that was needed and they started putting up these Indian restaurants and you know, you know, who told me the story and I'm fucking up is Johnny Vaughn. Do you remember Johnny Vaughn? Yeah, Johnny Vaughn? You know what? I said you remember because I saw him last time.

Ed works in the same building as Johnny Vaughn. Yeah, I do. I do. I do. Yeah. So Ed's very familiar with Johnny Vaughn. Yeah. Johnny Vaughn's got stories.

He's got stories for days, that guy. He's got stories for days. Yeah. And I mean days. Yeah. He hijacked our Q&A last night. Yeah. I'm friends.

Johnny and I are friends and he hijacked. And I had to, from the stage, I had to tell him to zip it. Which is hard to do. He's, still didn't do it. And by the way, he didn't even have a microphone. Yeah, yeah. It was insane.

God, I love him, though. Thank you so much, Will. Guys, what a pleasure. Thank you, Will. I thought I would hate this. Did you? You didn't come in with that energy, I thought he's up for this. Well, thank you, Will.

I thought that's the most amount of times Ed's ever said thank you to a guest. We go on a new tangent each time. I love it. Well, there we are, James. That was an absolute treat, I thought. We forgot Lego Batman. We didn't say anything about Lego Batman. I'm really gutted as soon as he left, realized.

We forgot Lego Batman. And Ben's saying he's forgot something? Oh, apparently Sam Campbell. So Benito is telling us that Sam Campbell had a question for Will Arnett and Ben neglected to pass it on to even us. Okay, the rest of a shit question. I'm glad that we didn't ask it. Sam wanted us to ask Will Arnette, when he's doing a voice for an animated film,

Does he like to look at the picture, a picture of the character? I imagine yes, either way, because, like, I think anyone when they're doing an animated film, they get shown that anyway, whether they want to do it or not. I'm all up for Sam asking sort of weird questions in his way.

Yeah. But I refuse to be the vessel for those questions and have to look the person. It's such a boring question. It's not even weird. Yeah. It's just boring. And it would be weird if he said it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. When Sam Campbell says something that's like, boring and normal, then it is weird now. And I guess, you know, I'm no stranger to that.

Well, he didn't say club source, thank God, because I was enjoying talking to him. That was good. Yeah, I liked that he guessed it first time. Yeah. As well, that was quite exciting for me. We have a lot of guessing games on this podcast. Well, he set up the guessing game with the dessert as well. That was great.

I was so glad. I was like, Benito can't tell us off for this one because it's Will Arnette's idea. Yeah. A fantastic episode, I love his descriptions of food. I think a lot of people are going to be re-listening to him described. in some of those dishes. What a way to kick off Series 15, Jimmy.

Series 15 and lovely start to it. People can watch it on YouTube, of course. Honestly, James, I loved that episode. And what a glorious man. It was brilliant. You know, I loved him referencing Benito. I loved him talking about going full bish. It was brilliant.

Don't forget that the film is this thing on, is out on the 30th of January. That features Will Arnett. Going half-bish. Half-bish, not full-bish, but if we get a petition going Yeah A petition going

No We'll leave it in though A bitch patish A bispittish Forget a bitch push For Will to go full bish In a sequel Or a spin-off

Yeah I think maybe Will would do it Yes If you're listening from America Which you might be Because you know We had a very famous Canadian guest on

Who is obviously very famous In America Maybe you've tuned in for the first time I'm doing my stand-up tour in the US, potentially Canada. I don't know at this point, so you have to edit around that. But go on to Ed Gamble.combeau.com.

For tickets, I'm there in February. I'll be there in February, just before Ed. We worked out with ships in the night. Ships in the night. But end of January to beginning of February, but then I don't know, that's now, isn't it? That's when this is going out now. Yeah.

So if you're listening to this, I'm in America. Yeah. If you listen to it when it goes out. But for now, we'll see you next one. week for episode two of series 15 of off menu. What a, what a series. Goodbye. Goodbye.