Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Will Sharpe

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

Bafta-award winning actor and writer Will Sharpe – star of ‘The White Lotus’, ‘A Real Pain’ and Lena Dunham’s new show ‘Too Much’ – is our guest diner this week. But Ed’s annoyed Will didn’t give him a warning…Will Sharpe stars in ‘Too Much’ which is streaming on Netflix now. Watch it here.Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcastFollow Off Menu on Instagram and TikTok: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster.Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Video production by Megan McCarthy for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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AKS.com. Welcome to the off-menu podcast, taking a can of passion fruit and raspberry kfirr water, opening it up and drinking it. Acaster, and that's what he's got a can of. I'm literally sitting here drinking it now. Yeah. This is the point we've come to. That is Ed Gamble.

My name is James Acaster. Together, we own a dream master on. Every single week, we invite him a guest and ask him in a favour of ever. Start our main course, dessert, side dish, and drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is Will Sharp. Will Sharp, a wonderful actor, writer, director. He's done so many things. Amazing, man.

Like, I love him in White Lotus. I absolutely loved him in a real pain. Yes. And you have a history with Will Sharp. Known him for many, many years. Don't know him as Will Sharper, and know him as Tom Sharp. Oh.

You know, pretty crazy name change for that guy. But yes, excited to see him. Not seen him in a while. It'd be so nice to hang out and catch up. Will I be a third wheel? No, not at all. No, no, no. You might hate me.

You never know. I could hate you. Yeah, he could hate you. Would it be the first guest? Yeah. But listen, even though you and Will are very good friends. Yes. If Will does say the secret ingredient,

and we will kick him out, Ed and I hope you'll be okay with that. Yes, I think he'd accept it. Well, let's see. This week, huh? Yes. The secret ingredient is lotus biscuits. I've already said white lotus, so people can put that together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We could have just said white chocolate. That would have been funny just to go with the word white instead of lotus. Yeah. Like a really tenuous one. But yes, Lotus biscuits. I mean, if anything, I think people do think that they've had enough of Bisk off. Certainly Bisk off. but no one really talks about the biscuits.

No, the OGs. The biscuits are pretty rubbish. Huh? The biscuits are pretty rubbish. It's the sort of thing you'd see in like a conference room of a hotel. Yeah, yeah, in a little sea-free packet. If you mash them all up into baby food,

people absolutely love it. Yeah. Just do it more biscuits. Yeah. There's a lot of biscuits that I love, but actually, maybe if they were a spread, I'd love them even more. Which biscuits are we thinking?

I think any biscuits. I reckon, I would love it if they suddenly bought chocolate chip cookies out as a spread. Yes, so would I. I would spread that on stuff. Chip off. Huh?

You could call it chip off. Do you have to end it with off? Yeah. Chip off the old block. Yeah. Oh, man. Bourbon biscuits. Bourbon biscuits.

I would love that. I'd love custard cream spread. Oh my God. I'd love custard off. Custod off. Better than cream off is a name. It's better than cream off. Man, I'd love all of these.

Yeah. Like, I guess, yeah. I wouldn't want digestives as a spray. I don't know, man, it might work. And chocolate digestive would work. We shouldn't put this out. Oh, yeah, we shouldn't. Don't release this.

We should pattern this. We've got to pattern this, we've got to make it a thing. That we do this. We put this out. Because otherwise, people are going to do biscuit spreads. Yeah. And then we won't get any of that sweet dough for it. Sweet dough.

That's what we're calling that. That's what the company's called. Yeah. We should get on with the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the off menu menu of WillSharp. Welcome to the Dream Restaurant, Will. Hi.

Welcome, Will Sharp to the Dream Restaurant, but it's been to you for some time. That felt weird calling you Will. Why? Why? Because I know him by all different names. Oh, yeah, all different names. Do you? Yeah. So you two have a history.

Yes? Yeah. You went to university together, is that way? I couldn't get in there. I couldn't get in there. You went to two different universities, and Ed knew you because you were rivals. We were, yeah, we were, well, I guess comedy. rivals, but sometimes we do stuff together, almost.

Friends. What unions we're talking here? Durham from my man. Doxbridge. We both went to Doxbridge. Doxbridge, yeah. That's disgusting. Yeah.

No, Will went to Cambridge and, I went to Durham. But some people at Durham referred to Durham came, Cambridge and Oxford as Doxbridge, which was pathetic. Who is that? Some real losers. I think mainly Ed. Oh, yeah, me. I mean, me, yeah.

Also, like, Durham, not getting many letters in there. No. I don't know the font, true. In front of the word. It's proportional. It's proportional. Yeah. Oh, you went to Oxford?

Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. So we'd meet each other at comedy. And then after uni, we did like bits together, didn't we? Yes. Comedy bits. We had a hit sketch group.

We had a hit sketch group. Let's talk about this hit sketch group. Oh, man. What was it called? Them Four Horsemen, it was called? I think we maybe did four shows. Four shows. And we kept trying to, we kept planning to do one on, what was,

Christmas Eve. Yeah. Christmas Day, actually. It's probably, if you're still on Facebook, you can probably, you can probably find the invite to the event somewhere

on Christmas Day. So you were going to do a Christmas Day gig the, and who is the four of you? I'm guessing Nish is involved in this somehow? No, no. We did, there was another thing with Nish, which is sort of like,

I was thinking about this because then he was coming in. It was called something like the club for men who are not usual. And it was one of those like sitcom ideas that immediately, immediately doesn't work and we had like

I think like an old camcorder and filming stuff around this flat and all I remember is there was some shoes in the fridge and Nish called his suit his nine to five shield yeah yeah yeah and immediately we're like

the point of these people is they do things that are not usual but they're really boring where does it be unsustainable I remember that where there was a shot like one shot where one of us like made a cup of tea from the beginning Oh, yeah.

Like talking for ages about not being usual and then like walked to the toilet, poured it down the toilet and flushed. Oh, yeah. That's funny. That's a funny bit, but that's sort of it. It was really funny for us. Yeah, we had a laugh, didn't we? It's a lot of funny nonsensical things.

But after a while, I imagine as a, for a viewer, it's maddening. Well, there weren't any viewers apart from us. It didn't matter. Yeah, yeah. I don't even cut it together, to be fair. Yeah. That's a shame. Well, I do, I do have some old Demphor Horseman sketches on a hard drive somewhere.

Oh, my God. It's exciting. So who are the other two horsemen? Tom Williams, who's no longer in comedy. English teacher. English teacher. And Al Roberts. Al Roberts.

Stathlet's flats. Stats, flats. Yeah, I do know who that is. Yeah. You know Al. It's funny to, after the Williams guy to make out, I don't know how much was. And you've done some other stuff since? Without.

Without me. I've done some stuff. Yeah, you've been up to some stuff. Do you feel guilty when you do stuff without Ed? I feel guilty when I listen to this podcast. I felt because so many times I've been like, oh, I should message Edge just to say

I'm really enjoying it. And I haven't really, I didn't really do that. Well, I've not messaged you saying I'm enjoying all your stuff. Yeah, I suppose. Maybe that's just how it works sometimes. What happened with the four horse people

that means that you don't text each other anymore? I guess like we're just sort of got, got busy in other ways. Yeah, sidetracked. You know you get sidetracked and then the side track becomes your main track. Yeah. Yeah.

I relate to that. There are other things like swimming around my head, but I'm like, we don't need to get back. Maybe come back to them later. Yeah, yeah. Do you ever find yourself on set filming something and thinking back to the days of paling around with this young whippersnapper? Do you know what?

I do feel like there is a thing where no matter what the scale is of a project, this is a bit of an earnest answer. But like, I feel like it does sort of feel like just hanging, in a good way, at its best, you're just kind of figuring stuff out with your mates and trying to make it funny or make it work or whatever. So I do sometimes think of that. And like Tom Kings is another person I work with a lot

in the past. I do think of those days sometimes, yeah. Would you ever put like pitch an idea on set, like if you were on an exciting project, but you know maybe the right joke here is flushing a cup of tea down the toilet. Maybe I'll try and work that in. It's a good joke.

Yeah. would you have to check with these guys I think you'd be alright with it it would be like a little wink you know in the ether and see if you know see if they'd spot it well I officially give you permission

to use anything from the club for men who are not usual if it's then for what's you're going to have to call me because at some point I do want to do the song of the Cowboys teaching kids how to count oh yeah yeah

this sounds good yeah I can't remember I've got a video of it somewhere and I refuse to watch it because I look haunted. You look haunted? In what way? Well, it was back in my bigger days and I'd say I looked like I'm wearing a fat suit

in a 90s film and I'm very tired. I hope we're all pretty tired. Yeah. We also, there was one sketch that we filmed which, the only, we were just all eating Muller Rice. Do you remember that? I don't remember Muller Ice. We just got bought like

20 Muller Rice and there was, the main theme of this sketch show seemed to be that there wasn't really a joke in any of the sketch. And so it was just, we were just eating muller rice. That's good. I mean, it's all right. What we'd do is we'd have a show and we'd go to your flat during the day. We'd just mess around for ages and one of us would go, that's a sketch.

That would do. Me with a fake beard on and then a tight over my head. Oh, old man. Old man. Old man, the rocker. Yeah. Old man, the rocking in a rock and roll band. Yeah, I'm an old man.

I can't play the guitar. Slashing away. Yeah, smashing away on a guitar. I was clearly, I think I had too much coffee. And I was just, like, just running around with the guitar. And they were all like, that's great. That's a guy. I feel it does sound great, though.

I've got a bus pass, but I take it to Wemble. You got a pair of tights on your head. That's it. Yeah, yeah. Why were the tightings? So you look bold? So you're a bold old man. Yeah, kind of, but it just looked so weird.

It just made him look mental. Just squished your face up. Yeah, and then you put a beard on top. Yeah. Yeah, it looks horrible Very funny for us I like it, very funny for us I like old man

In a rockabole band This is good Maybe at the end of this We'll see if we can find Paradise Yeah, yeah I could do it for the photo We've got to do a photo

Afterwards from Muller I see much for a food he will Do you like Nice I do like food I think I'm sort of Of that level Where I appreciate it

When it's good But if it gets a bit Too uptight and fussy Then it starts to sort of Get on my nerves a little bit So but Have less time Like having young children

now, like, less time to go out. But when we do manage to go out, I do enjoy it, and I do eat quite a lot. What's the ceiling for uptight and fussy? Do you have a meal that you've had where you're like, there we go, that's too uptight? I think, like, a quite good barometer as if they refill your water for you. It's, like, I quite like to be in charge of that. Yeah. Because also, like, you might be in conversation, and you're just sort of getting into a flow,

and then suddenly it's like, oh, sorry, just going to stop for a second. And then you sort of have to start again. So maybe that is a good barometer for it. I don't mind if it's a small amount of food on a big plate. Sometimes, don't mind that. Yeah, that's fine. That's okay. As long as you're getting another plate with a small amount of food on it.

But the water, because I always feel I want to say thank you every time. Exactly. You can't just be like ignore that you have to engage. Yeah. Because when people do ignore them. Yeah, I can't see this person again. And sometimes you're catching up. It's like quite personal things you're talking about.

So you have to just sort of be like, pause for a second. Do you know what I mean? Anyway. Thank you for my water. Thank you for, oh, thank you very much. No, you have to say thank you for my water. Thank you for my water. Is that your law?

Yeah, yeah. Just in case they think you're thanking them for something else. Yeah. I have to make it for the water, by the way. I have to make it worse for them so they'd stop doing it. Right, yeah, yeah. So it's awkward for them that I keep saying thank you for my water. You know, you can't just ask.

I've said this on the podcast before. No. Like my dad at Meals has been like, You can leave that there. Oh, that's good. I'll do that myself. Assertive. Yeah.

And also, I'm sure they'll be happy with that as well. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, they won't care. As long as you're polite to them and say, don't worry, you can just leave that there and I'll sort it out. They'll be like, oh, great. But I, in my head, think they're going to go away and think that was my whole evening. What do I do now?

What do I do now? Yeah, they're going to give you a small amount of spit on a big plate. Yeah. There you go. Call it a foam. Call it a foam. Foam's a good barometer as well, right? It's quite, yeah, if there's like an ingredient,

And it's like, oh, well, you didn't notice it was, it had been, it's been turned into something too unusual. Yeah. And you're, oh, I was really looking forward to that. And now it's sort of a gas. Like, that, I mean, sometimes it works, but occasionally you're like, I wish it was just what it is. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I wish it was an egg and not.

Yeah, but I'm not a complete, like, complete ignoramus. No. Well, I don't think so. It's good to say at the top of the pot. Speaking of war. We'll start off with still spark than water. I'm normally just tap. Okay.

And I quite like, for example, in Japan, where pretty much always there's a default is there's just tap water. Because it's just like less admin. Yeah. So that's my default. It's just tap water. Tap on the table? Tap on the table. And are you having that cold?

You having that just like as is? Yeah, cold. And do you want water from Japan, tap water from Japan? No, I quite like it when you guys. imagine like that there's some like perfect spring. Like it would be great if it was like, this is just water. But by the way, it's like, it's quite special. That'd be good. Yeah. Do you need it to be special? Unusual water. Do you need someone to tell you it special? I want to know that it's like, like, you know, come from a mountain or like...

This might help. If you're, maybe the mountain is like one wall of the restaurant and you're sat next to it. So you've got it coming in. And then here's a question. When you fill it up from the mountain, Are you thanking the mountain every time? Yeah. Thank you for water. A good question. Maybe that's part of the like spiritual, I don't know, religious moors of the play. I love to know how you were like, this might help as if it's a really small thing.

What if the wall of the restaurant is a mountain? This might help. This might help. This helps people sometimes. I don't mind it. Mountains are really big though. Yeah, that's true. Like the scale of it, I don't even know if it'll feel like a wall.

It would just be like, let's go with it. What's the biggest mountain you've been up? Good question. I don't know. Is it actually? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I don't know. Good question, bad answer.

I've never said that to a guest before. I have been skied in my life before. It's probably up one of those, but I don't know. You are not prepared to say what the biggest mountain in you... I genuinely don't know. I'm terrible at geography. All shit you don't know. It's probably...

This guy knows. Somewhere in the Rockies, probably. The Rockies? Yeah. You've been up a mountain in Japan? I actually have never been up Mount Fuji. I've looked at it. I've not been up in.

We're not counting that. We can't have what's the biggest mountain you've ever looked at. No, it's not what was asked. But I don't have a factual response to that. Sorry. Nor a riff. It's rare than a guest will say, I don't have a riff for that. I don't have a factual response or a riff, so you're going to have to move on.

We're moving on. Do you want the mountain wall, or are you struggling to imagine it? Let's go for it for now and then see something might come of it. You know, let's see. Pop-lobs or bread! Pop-lobs or bread, well-sharp. Pop-lobs or bread. Oh, yes.

Yeah. Bread, probably. Bread. I suspect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take us through it. What's the bread? So, there was a bread in Atlanta,

went on like a West Coast road trip with Sof quite a while ago. Who the hell is that? So smother the half. Yeah. And not Atlanta. Portland. Other side. It started off up there, coming through Portland.

And quite early on in the trip, how we like to sort of, arrive in a city is basically just a walk around. But you can't really do that in America. I didn't realize that. I was quite sort of, let's say, over-excited. So we walked a long way on this day, found this place called, I think it was called Olympic Provisions in Portland somewhere. That's such a hipster restaurant name, isn't it?

It's quite a hipster restaurant. Olympic Provisions. And they had like a forcatcher. And because we were so exhausted and so hungry, it was just the most delicious bread I've ever eaten. And I became like, sort of like Will Ferrell and elf or something where I was just kind of, I got up. And also, but maybe because I was in America, I was like, I should behave like an American. I got up out of my seat, went over to like the counter where everyone was like cooking. It was like, what's going on with this bread? This is the best bread. And they were

like, it's just for catcher. I was like, but you've done something to it? And they were like, is it the salt? And I was like, no, there's more. Anyway, we were remembering this place a few months ago and I think it's just like a chain. It's like I'd gone into Pizza Express and ordered some garlic bread and been like what is going on with it garlic bread? How are you guys doing this? You guys are magicians.

So that's the best bread experience I've had. And looking back on it, do you think the walk really was part of it? A lot of these seem to be dependent on basically the context of eating is part of the

experience or something. And so it was definitely that it was just like so hungry and tired. And I think when you feel like that, sometimes bread is just like the perfect food. So for your dream meal, do you want to go for a really big walk beforehand? Maybe down the mountain? Maybe go around the mountain more. Hold on, but I thought the wall was the mountain. You're walking up it as well? You're going out, maybe going out. Well, no, you could start on the mountain, top of the mountain, walk all the way down into the restaurant. Oh, I was imagined the mountain was flush to the, so it's just like a mountain wall. But you're saying you could walk up.

up out of it still, out of the restaurant. You put a hatch in the top of the restaurant? Yeah. Okay, there's a hatch, like in Lost. Yeah. Do you remember that? Do you remember when they found the hatch and lost? Didn't see it. Didn't watch it. I remember when they found the first hatch, and then the whole season, they found probably a hatch an episode, didn't.

Yeah, a lot of hatches. They just kept finding hatches. Yeah, because they didn't know where the story was going, so they kept adding hatches. So in the writers room, they're just like, should we just chuck in another hatch? Yeah, yeah. I'd imagine they had a little bell as well every time they added a hat. A hatch bell.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess if there's some kind of like hunger involved, that definitely would make the bread more delicious, do you think? Yeah, you're going to be really hungry. I can, as the genie, make you very hungry before every course of this. Amazing.

So that everything tastes that amazing. Yeah, but like a safe level of hunger. Yeah. I won't kill you. Thank you. Also, I think there is something to like chains abroad when you like go in a chain that you've not been in. Yeah.

You really do appreciate it way more than the people who live there. and are like, this is incredible. I think so, yeah. Because you haven't had that particular thing before. Yeah, it's new to you, so you're less like numb to it. And also, I guess you are sort of like genuinely sampling the culture of the area in a way. Yeah. So it's legit.

I agree. But have you ever had that embarrassing thing of then speaking to someone who's from that place and gone, I went to this great place? Say Olympic provision. I would have done that about this place. And they'd be like, oh, right, yeah. I see. Because you work with a lot of American actors.

now and you can really like go up to someone like Will Ferrell and go I was like you and Elf when I went to this amazing place called Olympic Provisions. Have you heard of it? Yeah. That is a shitty chain. That's a shitty chain. You'll find from the film. There's this amazing thing called Taco Bell. I don't know if you've heard of it.

But that is exciting going to a place like Taco Bell that we only hear about in films. Yeah. I don't mind that. Yeah. That is exciting. I remember the first time I went to Taco Bell's in San Francisco. It's very excited about it. I was walking to the Golden Gate Bridge. Did you enjoy it? The Taco Bell or Golden Grape Bridge.

The food? No, it was bad. But that's kind of good because it lives up to its reputation. I was living on my way walking there, I'd made some friends who were also walking to the Golden Gate Bridge, but they were Americans. Okay. And at one point they were like, she'd get some food. I was like, I want to experience a Taco Bell, and they laughed at me for a very long time. Yeah.

And then went in with me to get Taco Bell and then we watched me eat it and be disappointed. I was like, no, I'm not happy. but what I do remember and I still think about this a lot we went on Golden Gate Bridge and at one point we looked down and there was a very small little kind of like

hut I guess right on the stone by the water where clearly some like guy who works on the Golden Gate Bridge goes and one of the guys

I was pointing out and it went that's my house and I really laughed for ages that it was his house and I still think about it now I think that's really funny

he said that was his house like I genuinely think it's funny think it's funny. And it wasn't? No. It was just a little... It was just a little... It was like a little shed at the bottom of the Golden Gate Bridge by the water. I was like, that's really funny. He said it was his house. He probably thought you'd fall for it because you're the sort of guy

who wants to go to Taco Bell, right? Yeah, so he probably for this English guy. Dumb Tourist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we come around? Yeah, I'll come over. I'll come over later tonight. Yeah, yeah. So close to the Taco Bell. Yeah, I can't wait.

Your dream starter, Will. Right. Like, maybe, I think it's called, is it called Gavros? Or like basically sort of deep fried fishes. Deep fried fishes? Yeah. Ed. Is yours been like this?

That? That. Let me have a look at that. Or like a sort of, uh, a frito misto. Oh yeah. It's like deep fried fishes. But these look like specifically like one fish, right? Maybe.

They look like sort of sardines. Just for the listener, Willers past Google images. to Ed. It's Google image Gavros, I guess. Do you have a look at? Yeah. And there's loads of little pictures

of deep fried what looked like Pilchards or sardines. I think there's more are they in anchovies? Or maybe it's not that then. It's not that. Because Freetone mist though

I'd think more like a sort of tempera style batter right? Yeah, well I guess like some kind of deep fried small fish. I don't think it's anchovies but I remember one time

again it was like it was on holiday day with some friends and it was in Greece and it's like you've been in the sea that day and it's really hot and again you're probably quite hungry yeah and then I just remember that being like just a really satisfying you know just from calf kind of thing but it's like just a greasy bag of little fishes and they're very crispy and then like the it's not too bonesy yeah the bones are in it right and the heads are still on and the heads are still on I love that you just crunch crunch it away, like crisp.

So it's like, I guess it's, yeah, it is fish, but it's not like overwhelming. That was very salty. Pretty salty, I'd say. Yeah. Yeah, pretty salty. You're squeezing lemon on the top? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Was it hard on the holiday to like enjoy all the little fish with a nag and doubt that your wife had slept with your friend?

What? Because he was suspicious and you were certain that your wife had slept with your friend in the hotel. So you couldn't really enjoy the fish. Yeah. in a really contemplative, angry way. It's just like, what the fish is wrong? I don't know. Betrayal.

I think you should have warned all your friends you were going to tug yourself off in that show, man. I'm so excited for you that you were in it and then I'd pop it on enjoying myself and then I'm like, oh, I did not need to see that. No. Apologies for the group email. Just as a heads up, I'm going to tuck myself off in this show.

I'm really going to go to town of myself. I know I haven't spoken to many of you for some years. but just as a heads up, I'm going to tuck myself off in this show. Just in case you're going to watch it. Lying on your side? Oh, yeah, lying on your side, tugging yourself up. But you could have put that in, the menu aren't usual. Yeah, who lies on their side?

Like a painting. Yeah. Like a painter. Luckily, it was the first time Will and I've met, so when I saw that, I was just like, this is brilliant. Yeah, yeah, you love that. I didn't know you. I didn't know you so I was like

I was like, go for it, go on lad. Go on lad. Yeah, what I've said when I was watching that scene. You've never said that, have you? Out loud, I was watching that scene. Go on lad. I keep getting served a video on YouTube shorts of, it's like a ring camera

doorbell thing. Oh yeah? Of an old Jehovah's Witness ringing the doorbell and from that Yorkshire is like, oh, it's Jehovah's Witness! And the guy on the other end of the doorbell goes, just having a wank at the moment, mate. And the guy pauses and then goes, all right, good lad!

So many times I've watched that. Amazing. You're from Yorkshire? No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. I saw a film, you were from Yorkshire. Oh, yeah. From Yorkshire in Real Pain.

Oh, yeah. Sheffield. You can't deny it. See, this is the sort of interview style that we need to talk about. What? Where you... He was talking to me about this before you got it.

Well, we have actors on and then you go, you're in that. And they go, yeah, and then you don't follow it up with anything. Why should I have to? It's good segues, though. He's spotting the lens. He knows more about it than I do it. The links are perfect, but there's never a question.

I've teed him up. Teed him up. Okay, here's the thing about that film. I think the funniest line in that film, genuinely, is when you say, thank you, David. Oh, thank you. I think it's so funny.

Thank you. I went to a screening of that film where Jesse Isamode did a Q&A afterwards, and talked about you at length and how much you liked you. Oh. And then he said that that line was improvised, and it blew my mind. Was it improvised? It was kind of improvised. It was like, basically, the joke was built into the scene

that I give Kieran Colkin's character a much more heartfelt goodbye. And it wasn't scripted that I said anything to Jesse, which I thought was a bit weird. So I just thought that I should probably do not very much so that the joke still carries. So, like, the joke was in the scene. And it was also, I think it was the last, we're really running out of time. And so it was like, we only have time to do one take of this.

It was like, well, shoot your shot, I guess. And I think afterwards he was like, that was so funny. I don't think it will make it in the film because it's too silly. Oh, really? But he sort of came around. I've not seen it yet, but I've just checked now because I can check with you now. Do you tug yourself off in it? I don't know.

Okay, great. I'll watch it tonight. Because it's sort of about like a Holocaust tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a tour guy. He's in a professional capacity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's absolutely no one.

way. Yeah. No time. No time to tug yourself off. No. No. Even if you improvised it. Yeah, I suppose. I'd say it's probably not going to make it in. Yeah. I don't think that, yeah. That will make it in. Will, but thank you. I did. Got to shoot my shot. See that film three times. What? Yeah. Yeah, really like it.

So it's on for the rest of us, buddy. Laugh out loud at that line all three times. Actually, the third time, I got home literally the other day and my partner was watching it. And she's from up north. So the first She said, is he from Yorkshire? And I was like, yep. And then I was upstairs, and I heard that that scene was coming up. So I literally stopped on the landing to listen to it from the landing to see if she'd laugh at, thank you, David.

And she did. And I was like, and I'll shout it down, good line in it. Oh. So that's good. He improvised that. Jesse Eisenberg said it at the Q&A. I'll ask him to mind a double check. James and his partner live completely separate lives on their own.

Just shouting each other across the fact. That's the way I like it. Good night, love you. Good night, love you. Don't cheat on my, me with my friend on holiday. It was a weird thing where, so it was obviously shot in Poland and the amazing, like, Polish crew, but the sound guy was from Sheffield and had just moved to Poland. And so, like, the day before I'd been chatting with Jesse about maybe I could do it in

this kind of voice to sort of soften him up a bit and make him a bit more like Brian Coxie. And he was like, oh yeah, that's great, let's do that. And then on the next day, on the first day on set, was this guy from chef. And I was like, it's perfect. You can just keep an eye on it. It's like a weird coincidence. Thank you for your patience.

Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. FIS is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.C. Dream main course, well. Right.

This is where it gets a bit silly. Okay. So... We like silly here, right? We're silly guys. I was trying to think of like... I've got some ones like kind of... that I've discounted

because they felt it was sort of a bit boring or something. Yeah. And then I was like, is this allowed? So what I'm trying to think is, you know, like, Japanese kaisaki meals. I don't know that. It's like a kind of multi-course meal where basically,

like, I don't know what the actual... What the actual structure is, but like there's often like one that is specific to the season and then one that's grilled and one that's, I don't know, like pickles or something. And I was trying, is that allowed? Because it's like many different...

Yeah, because it comes from like one tray basically, though, doesn't it? Sometimes, yeah. So I was trying to think maybe something something like that. I was trying to think of something that was. I've got also just what I would choose if I had to pick one Japanese main course as well. But I was thinking maybe this way, and I was also thinking, is there a way to hack it where some of it could be like less sort of, you know, beautiful Japanese cuisine and just kind of like nostalgic things that I remember, like sort of more basic. Yeah, because I think if you go for a Kiseki sort of style thing, then you've got

the, you know, multiple little dishes. Little dishes, yeah. Then what goes in those dishes is up to you. Yeah. Yeah. So you can have the... Normally they choose, but on this occasion, I can sort of choose, right? Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's my pitch for how to approach this. Yeah. Pitch accepted. Thank you, guys. Yeah. Thank you.

I think you can have one of those trays. Okay, one of those trays. And I do like, I do like... And often I don't actually know what I'm eating. Yeah. So, and sometimes it's kind of like some kind of tofu-based. situation with some like seasonal vegetables that have been pickled like I do like those little tiny dishes and you're like I don't know what this is but it's it sort of wakes you

up and it feels really refreshing so some of those things you know like nice bits that like but I also I was thinking like there was there's a couple of cereals that you can only get in Japan, like, there's one called Gen. My Flakes, which is, I'm going to say it's a bit like special K, but it's a bit different. And you can only say, any time we go back to Tokyo, it'll be like, got to get a box of Gemai Flakes. And there was also Kellogg's one, which I'm pretty sure has been discontinued, which was called combos. And it was like Frosties, but on it was tiny little speckles of chocolate, like tiny little, like poppy seed size. and the mascot for it was like a light blue gorilla

and combos, delicious, but you can't get it anymore. Do you think Tony the Tiger was pissed off when that happened? You're like, it's basically, well, I still think that's great. If it looks more like a tiger. Yeah. Tony Tiger's won. He's stood to test the Times. He has one.

So maybe also could be like some little bowls of things like that. So a couple of little bowls of the cereal, the Gemmi Flakes and the... Some, you know, more serious, like, pickled, diacon and other bits and bobs. And there's normally, like, I don't know, just like a grilled fish or something like or like just tiny bit of meat. Do you know what I mean? Do you have specifics of the sort of fish that you'd like to see on here? No.

For the listener, you have got notes on your phone. So you have prepared for this, but it's still the vaguest. menu. I'm interested to see what you've actually written down because a lot of it is things I'm not going to do. How many times have you written the word sort of? There's a question marks which I guess

is like a question mark. Oh, you're not sure. Oh, cold sobber. Oh, love it. Yeah, lovely. That was going to be if I had to just pick one, if this was disqualified. I was trying to have too many things.

I was just going to have, again, carrying on in the, it's hot weather. Cold, sobber noodles. with like some nori, some tempura, that kind of thing. But that could be a part of this. You could put that on. Yeah, you'd have a little bowl of that. It's sort of like, yeah, sort of like layman's. And that is great because it gives us something specific to go on this tray.

What kind of fish would be good? I guess a white fish. A white fish, yeah. Or an eel? It's probably, yeah, Unagi, maybe. That's my favourite. I don't want to influence you, but Unagi's my friend. I think it's because normally with this kind, you don't have to choose.

That's part of it, is that it just comes. You like not having to choose. Yeah. I do like that, yeah. But just to let you know, if you hand over the power to us, God knows what's going to be on that tray. For example. Dinner, I found that out. Yeah.

Well, Ed will be getting the revenge for not being warned about the tugging off. Yeah. It's a bit like, I'm not going to warn you about this tugging off then. Also, right in the tray. Do you remember when we were driving back to London from Bristol and in a slightly on my Casse away? I was like, oh, do you want to make a playlist for the drive back? Oh, no. Yeah.

What was Ed's playlist? Oh, would it be horrible metal? It was a track from the count from Sesame Street had an album of counting songs. Fifteen tracks from that album, but all of them, the same track. Yeah. I don't remember that, but God, I'm a laugh. God, I really, I'm so happy I've maintained that level of humour. That's exactly what I do now.

I mean, it was funny, to be fair. Yeah, yeah, sure. Now on tour. I don't want to, like, yeah, culinary equivalent of that. come in my way. And it's just the count counting for the whole song as well. Every, yeah, all of them are he's counting in different ways and different genres. But it's just one track.

It's one song 15 times. Well, maybe there was like one, one actual sort of music track that you put on to misdirect. Yeah, that's funny. And then after that, it was 15, 15 to count from Sesame Street. Great. That's good stuff. I still do that sort of thing on tour now. Yeah, yeah, he's found himself a tour manager who absolutely loves being treated like that.

Yeah. Wait till we go to the Starbucks drive-thru and then put on Crazy Frog at full volume. Of course. Love that. Of course. The tequila song, of course. And also, yeah,

Ed's tour manager seems to forget the crazy frog prank because I've been in the car because he did the off-menu tour as well. And I knew that this had happened to him repeatedly. Yeah. I'd heard about that. And every time we stopped at a drive-thru, Ed would do it,

but it would genuinely take Paul by surprise. Yeah. Who couldn't believe it had happened. Yeah. As if that was the first time. Yeah, every time was like, oh, no, I'm trying to order my coffee and Crazy Frogs play. And Crazy Frog's great. That's why you keep doing it.

Yeah. I do think I'm going to try and do a sort of write a long read for The Guardian about re-appraising the Crazy Frog. Because I think everyone hated it at the time, right? But listening back to it now, it's really funny. It's aged well. Yeah. I think all the snobs like us, let's face it, hated it. Yeah.

And now we're re-appraising it. But all the people who liked it originally, which was a lot of people, they're over it now it's like the other day I did that with Gangnam style yeah

you were into it I was like this is good yeah this is a good song but at the time I was like

shut up you guys have a bunch of idiots the world is stupid we're going to hell and now I'm like you need a bit distance

yeah yeah yeah it's good track yeah so we're not letting Ed choose what's in this tray well you can

I mean I don't think so no nato is good what's that Natto you know like the little

so it's like tiny little soybeans My kids call them Spiderswebs because they get straight. Do you know the one of me? It was actually on, I think it was on Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Yeah.

As when people started complaining about can you stop eating living things, they put that on as like the most disgusting thing you could imagine. And everyone was eating it like, oh my God, I'm going to die. But it's, I like it. I think just texturally, there's

nothing in Western cuisine that is equivalent to that. Fair. Because it's like slimy and gooey and it's just stretches forever. Yeah, it's really long strings of, I don't even know what that is. There's always something gooey on, like, because I've had other things that are like green sort of. Yeah. Like you just, you're like, I don't know what this is.

Some green, I don't know what this is. Put that in there. Write that down Benito. Yeah. And yeah, there's often like, yeah, just some kind of little piece of beef, really delicious beef. Okonomiaki, that's good. maybe have, and Okonomiyaki probably wouldn't normally be in a cut, but I just like

it. Yeah. It's like, maybe I... I've never known how to say it. I think I've said it different every time. How'd you say it now? Even though I've just heard you say it. Yeah. And I know this is wrong. Yeah. I would then say economy yaki, and I know that is not right. That's not right. That's basically right.

Yeah, I think there's a whole of a syllable in there when you said it. You said every syllable. I don't think he's did all very. I don't think I did. You didn't nail the o'er. No. I think you did it really well. Do you want a bit of a big, Konomiyaki, or do you want a tiny little one? I think it's more. Because that's part of the fun is, like, you get lots of little things to try.

I think there's one more thing. Can we speak about Okonomiyaki for a bit? Sorry, yeah, that's the point in the podcast. Yeah. No, no, no. The point is that we let the guests lead. I love it. I think it's great.

Sometimes they cook it in front of you, don't know? Yes, with it on a little hot plate in front of you at the table. How do we describe it? It's like somewhere between a pancake and an omelette. Yeah. often there's noodles inside, spring onions. Do you like it with all the noodles inside and stuff? I don't mind that, yeah.

I'm not a fan of, so that's more like Asaka style, I think, with like loads of stuff. Yeah. And I don't mind the noodles, but I quite like it when there's like cheese and pork on it and stuff. Yeah, you can have that at the same time, I think. On a massive dirty one in Kyoto. Yeah.

I would just make it as dirty as you possibly can. Did you enjoy it? Just a bit. Just a bit. Absolutely good. Those dry fish. All of these things sound disgusting when you say them in English

but like dry fish flakes Benito flakes Oh my God The great Benito flakes Your flakes Yeah They're in there Another discontinued cereal

He was on the box He was on the box Blue Benito Shaving It was just shaving Yeah That's why it failed That guy's dry skin

Did you talk about Yeah And yeah Normally it comes with some kind of like Worcestershire sauce, bulldog sauce, tonkatsu sauce. And Kui-Meo. Because I'd had it in England before,

and it's making fun of you, but when I had it in Kyoto, they squirt that bottle from really far away. Yeah. He held the bottle so far away, and I was sitting behind this thing. Yeah. I was like, are you kidding me? Brother, you're going to get it all over me? And then what was the less of my day look like?

Yeah. But he just completely on the pancake. Did he have the multiple nozzles? I don't know. I mean, I think my adrenaline was so high. I love the double nozzle. I've never seen it. You don't see the double nozzle? I think even when you buy Kui Pneau,

they sell it to you with a spare nozzle. Oh, okay. You can get a double nozzle. Because you know when they like proper go for it on the Okonomiyaki? Oh, okay. It's like loads of, yeah, double lines. Interesting. Yeah.

That's like with Tepaniaki, the trixie. Yeah. Like some of the chefs who do that, it's like a circus. Yeah, flipping eggs everywhere. Yeah. It's chucking eggs. Just lands perfectly on the pan. Onion Vulcan.

Kno. I did one of those in a little secret little room in a hotel I'm in a secret little tapinyaki room and it's just me

and my partner and then these two businessmen and felt a bit pervy right they did or you did you guys I felt like I had gone

into a little purve den because like the businessman is this in Japan yeah yeah but men in suits in like one o'clock in the afternoon

drinking beers yeah in a little dark room feels a bit seedy. And we were all just watching this chef doing all the food. And I was like, is this, am I a pervert? Felt pervy. Watching the cooking?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it felt, the businessman threw me off. Okay. The businessman looked like those guys had normally been in a strip club. That's like a sort of Darren Brown experiment. Yeah. It's like I'm going to make James Acrester find cooking. Yeah.

Purvy. By the way, put in the environment. James grew up religious, so basically anything he does, he feels guilty and pervy. Yes, I have to. have burnt my eyes for most things. Okay. Fair enough. It was very, very close. Kupi Mayo, I love it.

I'm so glad you can get it here now. I love the little baby on the Kupy Mayo. One of my favorite mascots. Not for James, though. Not for James. I want me looking at that. But what I feel sad about is when you take it out of the plaque, because it comes in a plastic bag, you take the mayo out, it's completely blank bottle.

The baby doesn't get a look in. Fair enough. Why is the baby not on the bottle? I thought they were on the bottle. No, I think they're just blank bottles. Okay. Well, look it out. Maybe you're getting like bootleg.

I might be getting bootleg QP. But it's good. It's like a bit more like salad cream, isn't it? It's on the way to it. It's not all the way to salad cream, but it's not quite as clean as your helmonds or whatever, your mayonnaise of choices. It's a very good hack.

I like this hack. Is it allowed? Is it a main course? Yeah, cool. Okay, thank you. You would, you would have it as one course. I love the cereal on there as well. Pardon me?

I love the cereal on there as well. Yeah. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, and snacks, probably a few just like snacks, Japanese snacks. Just check them on there. Which Japanese snacks? You know, every time you suggest something, we are going to ask you for specifics. I just keep saying, of whatever snacks.

What about koala, koala no matchi, do you remember? Well, you weren't needed in there. I've been there, but. Koala biscuits, tiny koala biscuits. It's like a biscuit on the outside, a little bit of chocolate on the inside. Oh, okay. Or acorns. There's also acorn equivalents, that kind of thing.

Because isn't there like a frog version as well of those? Maybe. I don't remember that. What are the ones called that we get here quite a lot? Are they koala ones? Look it up. That's Benito that Ed is talking to. Quite a lot.

Or convenience store stuff. Yeah. Like an American dog from a convenience store. I was just lived in the 7th 11th. You do know what I mean? Yeah. Just like a really basic corn dog from... They sell them at the pleasant.

shop in Edinburgh. What, Japanese frog chocolate? Maybe they are just a koala ones. Maybe you thought it was a frog, but they're koalas. They're not koalas.

They're not koalas. Oh no, I've lost my mind. But you want some of those? Yeah, I mean, this tray is getting pretty big. Yeah.

But, yeah, a mixture of quite downmarket, basic, nostalgic little pots. 711 stuff. 711-e, supermarket-y things, and then also some of them

more like a lot of care and attention. And, you know, they've literally just picked this root vegetable off the mountain that is the wall of the restaurant. I prepared it perfectly. A mixture of that. That's nice. High and low, Kaiseki Trey, please.

Are your dreams sides in there? Or is your dream sides something different? Oh, no. She's panicked. Oh, God. I'll tell you what Oh, there's too many here Speaking of sides

We know what this guy likes to do In his side Remember, Will you get tucked yourself off Aubrey Plaza caught you Yeah, I do remember She caught you, man She caught you

That must have been embarrassing Yeah Did they tell you that What's going to happen? Yeah, it was in a script What I remember about that Was going into it I remember thinking

This is going to be so funny It's such a funny scene It was going to be really I mean, I guess for you you guys, it was funny. And then as we were sort of rehearsing, it was like, just play it completely straight. Yeah.

You know, no, and so then suddenly you feel really foldable. Yeah, yeah, of course. But I think it did make it better. It basically made it like the tensor. But going to be so fun. And then it was like, oh, this is really like tense and uncomfortable. Yeah. Oh, it must be horrible to film it.

Yeah. I mean, it's really funny because you've played it straight. Yeah. Because then it's more believable. It was really funny. Yeah. But like, yeah. I would have been, I imagine in the moment, it would have been way easier for you just to, you know.

There are some takes. Play it silly. Yeah, in the rushes where when she catches me, I'm doing full, like, Mr. Bean, tumbles off the bed and, like, and then sort of, like, standing up. Yeah. Like, kind of trying to recover from it and sort of, you know, stuttering about porn. And he was like, I don't, I don't need that. I think it can just kind of be caught.

We've got that now. You could just be caught doing it and just kind of. Was that as embarrassing receiving a note like that when you've gone that big as getting caught, wanking? No, it was all right. It was part of process in it. But no, it was like fair play.

Yeah, that is better. Right, side dish. What am I thinking? I've got like options here. I was thinking of maybe just going for a club sandwich. I love this. This huge tray and then a huge... Of tiny.

little place and then just a full-sized club sandwich. Just because they're good, aren't they? They're good. Like, if you're like, I don't know what, often, if that's there, that's quite a good choice, isn't it? Yeah. As a default. That is, that is a choice of someone who ends up in hotels quite a lot.

Yeah. Late night hotel. Late night hotel. Got to get up early the next morning. Don't want to go out. Yeah. Club sandwich. Yeah.

If you're lucky and you got in late and they're only doing sandwiches, they've got one. Yeah. Because on most of it's only sandwiches, it is just the cold sandwiches and they're not great, but sometimes. Or it's like a ham and cheese panini that was hot 20 minutes ago. Yeah. But by the time I guess you. Yeah, you don't want to hear that.

I mean, club sandwich is a classic, isn't it? Club sandwich is just like, you feel so happy when you order it. But then when you finished eating it and it's midnight, you are like, what the fuck am I doing? I don't think I've really eaten it at midnight. No, I think. The context I had for it was more like, I was actually thinking of, again, like, I was still in Japan.

There was a place called the Tokyo American Club, where you could, like, go bowling and stuff. They had, like, a system where you could flip through these roller dexes and then get a VHS to rent. You know, be like, oh, land before time. Please, can we rent that one, please? Things like that. What a film. Such a good film, isn't it? It's brutal.

Sarah, the Triceratops. Yeah, I mean. Am I right? Yeah. It's pretty brutal, that film. I remember seeing, I think it's one of the first films I saw in the cinema. Yeah, whatever kid I was with cried so much, I had to be taken out.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, it is heavy going when you're a kid. You get really attached to all those characters. Yeah. And I still think, because after that film, I drew a lot of cartoons as a kid. I liked to drawing cartoons.

No way. I'd always draw little gangs like that. Little gangs? Because I were lonely. A different animal, yeah, a different animal each time, but like a cat gang, all different cats. Okay. And now I've...

You've got a cat. Now I've done that in my life. I've got four cats at all different breeds and I think it's cut of land before time. Can we see some of these pictures? That I drew. Yeah. I don't know if my parents have got them. Okay.

I'd have to check in on them. Doubted. Probably throwing them away. I'd be interested. But they probably got thrown away on the day. I remember Sarah, the trial, she's the one who's really grumpy and sort of like is exiled from the group because she's being too grumpy. And then there's like a bit in it where she basically saves all her mates.

and that's like for me I feel like that's the archetype of the sort of redemption arc of like the thing that will automatically get me is if somebody has kind of somehow exiled themselves by being grumpy or like

making mistakes or whatever and then they show the true colours and so I always think of Sarah the Triseratops when I'm writing weirdly although sometimes I'm going to try Sarataphosis Yeah yeah and then classic Sarah the titans

I agree with you for the most part Yeah, apart from. And then sometimes they do that kind of stuff where the writer is clearly excusing whatever bad traits they have in themselves. But don't worry about those. Because they save everyone's life.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm just going to keep doing this in my life and then eventually I'll be fine. Yeah, there's that. So it's like a cover, the redemptive act is a cover for stuff. It's like just because you know those things are bad, doesn't excuse them. And just because you did something good, it doesn't excuse the bad things.

Yeah. Yeah, I understand what you mean. It's that Grand Torino film, like, he's like... Horrible racist old man. All the way through. And at the end, he saves the people that he's been racist to. Oh, that's different. And he dies in a Jesus pose.

That's different. And you're like, that's not Sarah the Triceratops. No, they needed for Sarah the Tricerat. Yeah, that's what they needed. Yeah. I've not seen Lumberful time for a while. Is Sarah the Triceratatsox horribly racist as well? Yeah, be honest.

And then she saves the people she's been racist. Yeah, yeah. Fucking velociraptors. Stuff. About the old velocies. Anyway, it could be from there. Sandwich could be from there. Or I put like a hot dog down as an alternative.

And then in brackets with question mark, did you ever go to that place called Singbury? No. Yes. It's in Leighton Stone where I live for a long time. Yes. And it sort became way too popular because time out. And now I think, and they were always closing down,

but they never did. And now they've moved. They've moved to Shore Ditch. I don't think they're open yet, but it's a phenomenal restaurant. They are incredible, but it was basically the chef and his mum in the kitchen. Yeah. Tiny little, like, yeah, Thai cafe, essentially. And then it was like, I think it was like the infatuation is like number one restaurant in London.

Yeah. People went mental for it. It was impossible to get in. Yeah. Unless you knew someone. And it was like, it's such good food, huge menu. So they're basically working these shifts of just like bashing these dishes out and they're shattered at the end of the night. So I'm glad that.

They've now got a bigger space. Hopefully they can hire more people. They've gone mainstream. Anyway, I guess I just wanted to shout them out. But also don't go there. Leave them to it. Yeah, they shut down, sorry. Did you have a dish that you wanted to?

They were famous for their razor clams. But they also had something called moo Crob, which was almost like not pork scratchings exactly, but that kind of really crunchy, porky things, which was good. Those were the things I picked out. But I'd say just go clubbing. sandwich. Club sandwich

from the Tokyo American club in the 90s. And we're talking classic club sandwich right. Chicken and bacon and decent

whacko mayo. Yeah, I don't really like cheese or I don't really eat that much cheese so I go non-chease normally. Yeah, I wouldn't

put cheese in a club anyway, really. Yeah. Yeah, lettuce, tobacco, chicken, bacon, mayonnaise. Cutting the triangles with the chips

in the middle? Yeah. And a little like toothpicky flag. You like the toothpicky flag? Why not?

Yeah, the toothpicks with, which you don't see very often now, the little sort of tassel at the top, you know? Little ridged toothpicks. No, no, no, no, no, with the little fun sort of crate paper tassel. The way he said that, he suddenly felt like we're sort of sat on a bench. Yeah, there's two feet. When we're old men, that's what's going to happen. It's not often we get a guest laugh at either one of us,

especially you, when you're not trying to make them laugh. Sure. I think I'd fall into it a lot by mistake because I realize what I've said is weirder than I thought it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you would just be very earnest about toothpicks. Well, I was just remember. I was remembering something.

It was very generous. Gentle. It was probably like, this is the funniest thing. This fucking guy. He talked to me about two pixels like really serious. This is why the sketch group couldn't carry on, man. Because everything I said I thought was funny, nothing from this guy. Yeah.

And then I'm like, right, see you later. He's like, blah. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore? FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply.

Details at fizz.ca. Your dream drink, Will. Maybe C.C. Lemon, which is a Japanese lemonade in a can. And I have a very specific memory of getting that from a vending machine after playing, like the summers are really humid, playing football in like a park with my brother, and then just being like drenched in sweat. And they have really loud cicadas in the summer. So that noise is going on and just have it like you're exhausted and you're so thirsty.

And it doesn't quench your thirst in any way. I've tried it as an adult. It's so sugary. But I just remember that hit being kind of amazing. Or I guess the grown-up equivalent would be like a glass of beer in the summer. Is C C.C. Lemon, one of the drinks in Japan that has vitamins, where they're like, it's got vitamins in it? Just Googling it.

Often getting added to emails. C.C. That's good. Good luck finding a BCC lemon. I don't think so. They're probably, I mean, these days there probably is a... Oh no, no, it's called C-C lemon because of vitamin C. There you go, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Because I got sort of, last time I was in Japan, sort of obsessed with the, like vitamin shots and these like little vitamin jelly drinks. Okay, yeah. Just because you feel like you're doing something good for yourself, even though in the bag from the 7-Eleven every night was like just piles of squid and cheese. Right, squid cheese and gels.

Wow. The adverts for those vitamin drinks are often quite funny. Just like guys really shouting to show how much energy they have. They drink it and then they're just like going mental. They're like climbing a cliff or something. They're like, now I'm ready. What are you going, I want to be like that guy?

Yeah. Well, they hit, like, they've got a baseball bat and they hit the can really far. But, well, maybe we could make a shandy out of those two things. Like a Japanese beer on a hot day and a bit of C.C. Lemon. That's really nice. What, what's the beer? What beer do you want? I don't like any Japanese, like Kirin or,

apparently it is different in Japan compared to what is imported over here. Right. But I saw this, I remember having a, when Tom Kingsley and I, made a short film in Japan and like shot in my actual grandma's house. My actual grandma was in it and dressed up as a cockroach for us. I remember, like, you know, hiking with like, it's just him and me, basically, with all the gear and stuff and finding this, like, little bar and having like a really cold beer and a hot day, that kind of lager.

A lot of this meal you want to be tired for. Tired and hungry, but I think that's because, like, it improves it, right? Yeah, yeah. I want to know more about this film, this short film. I mean, it's on YouTube somewhere. It was, we just, yeah, we went to Japan. It was when I was in casualty, and Tom worked for a company called Blink, and he borrowed like a prosumer camera from the company,

went to my grandma's house in Japan to try to make a short film, basically. And often I'd be like holding my own reflector out of shot. It was just very, very low fight and lots of driving around. getting trains and stuff I haven't watched it for a while hopefully it holds up I don't know what's the plot

the plot was what was it it's that my late grandfather has left me a suit I'm like a pest control guy and I'm working on a particular house that has a cockroach problem but the owners of the house

are never there and I start receiving these weird notes and I think my granddad meanwhile has left me a suit lake ground and inside the suit pocket is like a note that says something like by the way you're the Messiah and it drives him crazy because he's trying to figure is it for me what does it mean and all the while he's trying to rid this house of its infestation of pests I can't really remember how it finishes I love but essentially he's just sort of spins him out spins him out

and it's in Japan I love it that sounds bonkers it was quite bonkers I'd watch that sure but be my guest It's on YouTube, man I don't watch it on YouTube It'd be good to change the algorithm A little bit actually Yeah What's on your algorithm?

The other day I went on this fucking wormhole Of watching this guy Atheist guy Who's debating Christians And I've really enjoyed the first one And seeing him Just handle the Christians their ass

Yeah And then the more that it went on The more videos I was watching The more I was like actually This guy's quite unlikable Is that Christopher Hitchens? No, not Hitchens He talks to Hitchens

he talks to Hitchens at one point and the other one is this younger guy and I thought you know in the first video I was like it's good because he's like he's not taking like pleasure in defeating him he's just trying to have a respectful discussion but he is he is defeating them

right and this is like this is nice this seems like a respectful discussion where he he's a bit more cares about people but then the more videos I watch the more this guy's high in his own supply he absolutely loves himself he may as well he may as well be the one on his side tugging himself Is that like late 90s brand of atheism

where the whole thing was someone going, well, how can that be? God doesn't even exist? And then they dropped the microphone. And it was like, yeah. Show me the proof. Yeah. I had an imaginary friend once.

Whoa, that's blow my mind. Yeah. It was like that. Yeah. But so that's what my algorithm is now. Oh, that and actually the bit of my algorithm that I like is just loads of skateboarders. I'm just watching those of skateboards.

No. But I love skateboarders. Yeah. I love like watching Andy Annes. Anderson and Ben Cadow, people like that. You think you ever would? No way. When I was five, I got put on a skateboard and push us some stinging hills.

Oh, don't want that again. Absolutely no way I'm doing that again. So with your, like, religious, did you have, like, a specific kind of turning point where you realised how you feel about all that stuff? No, just gradual. Just gradual as I was growing up, especially, like, through being to stand-up and whatever. Right, yeah. Where it's very uncool to be religious.

It's an angle. Pathetic It's an angle But yeah No I kind of just like Steadily Moved away from it Okay

And had a gig The other day Where like a whole group Of Christians came to see me A whole church group And I ended up Talked to them For most of the show

Because one of them Was secretly recording the show And I caught them Just in case Yeah It was a Christian Recording me I was like

That's not very Christian Being all sneaky Did you call them Chris I don't think it's the most Anti-Christian I could think of Huh

I wouldn't go That's not very Christian recording recording a show secretly. It's one of the Ten Commandments. You should know it. Don't record.

Don't record. Yeah. We disrespect them. A very big conversation with them. One of them kept telling me that Jesus loves me during the show. Well, that's quite a hard hackled handle. Yeah. I was just like, well, we've all due respect.

I'm not sure. Yeah. Not sure that's true. And then someone at the back started shouting out that they love Satan. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Obviously, so that kicked off as Ed to you. Yeah, I go to every one of the shows.

Yeah. It was Ed. I love Satan. He's sending someone to every venue. Yeah, yeah. I'm dressed as a count from Sesame Street in the back. Your dream dessert. Well, again, I could probably choose one, but I've got like three.

Trio? Trio. Maybe. Do you remember that chocolate bar? I know. Trio. Trio. Yeah. Don't remember it.

I want a trio and I want one now. Don't remember it. It was good. It was thick chocolate. Yeah, thick old chalky. But, you know, it was up against a lot of competition.

There was clubs and all sorts of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clubs are like post-football. Do you want to sing the song? Do you want to sing the song? No. Okay. We've just done trio.

I think someone else needs to take up the mantled for a club. The other one who sings the songs. If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join a club. Yeah? He's got a new jingle. Pick up a penguin. Yeah, yeah. We had a really fun joke over text, didn't we?

Do you remember that really funny joke over text that I did about Penguin? No. And Nish was coming back from Australia. Yeah. And he texted us saying he'd watched the full series of The Penguin. Yeah. And I said, in Australia it's called The Tim Town. Yeah.

That's a good joke. That's a good joke. Save space. Yeah. Yeah. I think I even said, it's a great joke and it's clean. Yeah. Very tidy.

Anyone can enjoy that if they have a knowledge of Australian in an English Biscuits. I feel like even if you don't know, you still would get it. That's how good a joke is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be like, well, that must be an Australian version of a penguin.

Sounds like a brand. What's your trio? Oh, sorry, yeah. So one of them tried to invent something, but it's sort of, I'm sure it exists. Yeah. It's like some kind of chocolate. I don't think it's a cake.

I think it's like a tort. So I don't really like the spongy guys. Find that a bit boring. I like it to be really dead. So I think it's flowerless. Will's reading this out verbatim, by the way. This is all written down this. That's got to be sad for you if something's flowerless.

It's like a word search, basically. How am I going to read it? For the rejection, that, for you? No, I liked it. No, but I mean, it must be very rejected. You must feel rejected when someone says they want something flowerless. No, I prefer it. I prefer it because it's.

I like it to be dense so that like so dead I basically like to feel like I'm being punched in the face by the chocolate like you can slam the tort on the table

and it would keep its shape so that kind of thing sorry well I just knocked over my empty cup of coffee but I forgot it was empty so I thought I'd just you were panicking

and then you realized it was okay I said Jesus Christ over the top of you talking but that wasn't because of you it's amazing how quickly they go back to religion isn't it?

First time they knock over a coffee cup suddenly Jesus is back in his life please forgive me I know what you mean about flowerless chocolate You just want that intense chocolate Some people don't like that And they find it a bit like

It's too much hard work But that's what I prefer I hate a gath Where you see like a gatto And it looks beautiful And then they put the knife into it And almost goes That's what I'm not into

If it's too fluffy Yeah I don't know It's like a bit fillery Do you know I just want to get straight To the point Yeah

And for the chocolate cake Yeah So one of those With maybe some like Matcha ice cream And some berries or something like that. Something like that.

Yeah. That sounds great. Which is fine. That could be it on its own. That's lovely. But then I had two sort of nostalgia ones, which you can discount or they can be like they can be like we talked about it, but they're not real. Yeah.

So one of them is my late British grandma. One of my earliest memories is when we lived in Japan, come into England and learning how to make a lemon tart with her. And so that lemon tart with just like shot bought. vanilla ice cream and that squeezy chocolate sauce that went hard. Yeah. Did you ever have that? Oh, yeah.

What's it called? I mean, I don't know if it's literally just called. Magic. Magic name. Had some kind of magic. Magic sauce or something. But you pour it on and then the cold makes it go hard. Great.

That's exciting. That's a goody. And then the third one is, so it's kind of like... Ice magic. Ice magic. Is that what it's called? Because Ben doesn't want to be heard on the podcast. Sometimes he has to whisper stuff.

So he just looked at Ed and went. Ice magic That's absolutely great Andy used to be a magician so that might have been something you did back in the day Ice magic he'd be at a party

and someone would be drinking their drinking their glasses drink at a party and then they looked down and the ice had gone and he'd go Ice magic He's holding the ice

his head he's quenching it in his mouth Oak magic they can see his gob on the side of the glass but that was very helpful thank you

so it was called ice magic Well, I didn't say ice magic I said I think I had magic in it Oh yeah So carrying on from that Kiseki tray Often like And also at my grandma's house Like the pudding would just be basically

Like a really good Piece of fruit like melon Or like a strawberry that's like really big Yeah Something like that Like Japanese fruit Where it's like you go into a It's an event

And it's like 800 quid for a Well I don't know my age Well okay Why not if you're paying 800 quills Sure for a straws on me Yeah I had a quid. Genie's paying, then go for it.

I don't think I've ever done that in Japan and gone and bought the really expensive fruit in one of the malls or whatever, but I've been to look at them. But even if it's not that, even if it's not the kind of stunt fruit, it's still, you can get like a kind of reasonably priced but like really good, tasty kind of,

oh, I've suddenly realized that all the other versions of melon that I had was just sort of like an almost like a memory of eating a melon. This is a melon. You know, this is an empirical. melon. So that, something like that. That would be, if I'm carrying on the theme of having too many things, that would be the three things. Yes.

Yeah. But I could just choose the chocolate. Well, it's probably why I actually want to eat. There's plenty of dessert hacks you can do. Oh yeah. You need pre-desert. Dirty four. Dessert. Pettie four. That sort sounds like a petty four. A stack. A stack. What are they called? Stack. I've got a stack. A little stack. What is it? You know what I mean?

A little tower. Like a tea. Yeah. Like a tea tray. Or no, not tea tray. That you'd get a high tea. Like a car park. Car park of food. Car park of food. Yeah. It's a car park of food.

That's what they say when you go for afternoon tea at the ritz. Then in car park, please. Yeah, yeah. Here's your car park. And I had a shout out to once we tried to make a banana missu. It made me really ill. You can guess what that is.

It's too a missu. Banana in it. It made us really sick. I thought you were mispronouncing me, so. Yeah. No, banana missu. Banana missu. Was that something you'd read about?

Was there a recipe? Was there a recipe? Or did you invent the banana mousse? So my rep as somebody who prepares food is that I'll be doing really well, really bad at following recipes, be doing really well just kind of busking my way through it. I'm quite good at making something out of nothing. So if it's like, we've got nothing in the house. Actually, I can find a meal out of whatever's there. We tried to make a chicken stock once.

Did we? Yeah. Didn't go well. We'll put a bit in that. We'll come back. But one for a bit. I tried to make a chicken stock for a sketch. This is the sketch.

making chicken stock no other jokes but I'm quite like my rep is that I'll fuck it up at the last minute so it'll be going really well and it's like looking good

and then I'll just sort of be like and maybe I'll do this and then I'll sort of be like well you've ruined it now that was the banana was like I'm going to try to make it to I'm going to put bananas in it

why not it's like why did you do that but the reason why I made us ill was not that it was something else involved maybe the eggs I don't know or the cream the cheese

and it tasted bad or good it tasted all right I would say. It's sort of Benofi. I can't remember. I can't remember. Well, it is Benofi, but on this occasion, it's banana and coffee, right? Yeah.

Sure. What made us ill was I put poison in it. He's always right at the end he puts poison in it. Every time. And there was one Christmas where I tried to make improvised pudding that went really wrong, where I thought of you because you're famous for your sweet tooth. And it was basically like, as you're kind of head, in out of the Christmas season, you sometimes have like boxes of biscuits and chocolates

and just left over stuff that you're like, what am I going to do this? So I was like, I'll just make like a fridge cake out of all of these things. Brilliant. And had no system or any sort of scientific knowledge about how to do it. So essentially was just melting down snacks and then put it in the freezer and it was really bad. Oh, yeah. It looked terrible and it was so sweet that it felt like you, it was.

you would faint for meeting it. And for some reason in my mind, I must have been listening to the podcast around. I was like, maybe James Acaster would manage this. Yeah. I think my dad definitely would. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I could, I mean, even if I couldn't, I think the big guy, he'd be able to swing at it. The big dog could do it. The big dog. We'd nudge it his way. And even if he didn't like it,

he would eat all of it. While saying with his mouthful, this is very too sweet will. Right. He's not very good, but while shoving it in. Even for me. Even for me, this is too sweet.

but while just still putting it back and not even having to chew it just like straight down yeah he would have helped you well can I have a digest thief with it yeah yeah you know like one of those bitter Amaroe fernabranca

fernet branker yeah that kind of thing I don't mind that kind of like slightly petrally afterthought yeah it is genuinely good for digestion is well I find yeah if you're really full and you have like a fernet branker which I would be probably yeah absolutely yeah you're gonna be full mate you've had a club sandwich on top of everything else.

Next to a mountain. Yeah. I think when your side dish is a club sandwich, you know that you're going to be full. Yeah. I read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it. Yeah. You want tap water from the mountain. Yeah.

The wall of the restaurant. Yeah. For Catcher from Olympia Provisions, Portland. Is that where you googled? It's Olympia provisions. Sorry, thanks. Who knows how they... That's a mountain.

Made that bird. Is it? I'm an Olympia. Oh, yeah. You love mountains. Yeah. Obsessed. Obsessed.

The deep fried small fish with lemon. You never got to the bottom of what the fish it was. Main course, you got a tofu situation. Gmai flakes, is it? Gemi. Gemi flakes. Kelloggleds, combos, pickled dicon, white fish, cold, sobber. Yeah.

Which I didn't know. It was pronounced like that until you said it. I've been saying sober here. It's like saying Paris. You wouldn't say Paris. I might start saying Puri. I say Puri. I always say it.

Do you? Yeah, I go get a peri like that. It's funny. Nomi Tempora. Natto? Natto, yeah. Green, I don't know what it is. Yeah.

That's what it says here. Beef, small economy hacky, and koala biscuits. Yeah. Side dish, club sandwich. Yeah. Drink, C.C. Lemon Shandy. They're pandas. Oh, yeah.

Hello panda. Hello, panda. Yeah, you'd recognize them. The pink, I don't like the pink ones. I like the normal ones. Okay. Thanks. Drink C.C. Lemon Shandy with Japanese lager.

Dessert. Flaveless. Chocolate tort with matcher ice cream and berries and grandma's lemon tart and big fruit. Big fruit. And a big fruit. Yeah. And you would also like a digestive at the end. Yeah.

It needs an edit, doesn't it? It's a bit... But you're just got to get it on the page, right? Yeah, it's like... It's like, yeah, if we'd walk through it and sort of pick some things out, that would make sense, but... I'd love that meal, though. I think it would be nice.

And the main meal is kind of like also you can... you can decide afterwards what it involves. I haven't asked Will about eating on camera. I like, I like, I like asking actors about eating on camera. You wait on camera. Yeah. In, I think you eat on camera on White Lotus and in Real Pain. What was the best food?

The food in a real pain was quite good. In the White Lotus, I remember, there was like a breakfast scene where they were like watching breakfast and I was like, oh, I don't know, like eggs on toast or something. And everyone else had fruit. and I was like, if we're supposed to have fruit, then I'll have fruit. It suddenly felt weird.

But in the Lena Dunham show that's coming up, I remember making a choice because of that thing where once you tune into watching actors eat, you sort of can be quite distracted. I was like, I'm just going to eat as much as I can in every scene and make it. And also because he's quite socially uncomfortable. So I felt like,

I eat a bit like that anyway in my life because it's like just a way of having something to do. So in that show, I made that choice to eat as much as I can see if you notice. I'll notice. I'm always watching how much they're eating in those kind of scenes. And I don't like it when they just push it around the plate. This Lena Dunham show. Yeah.

Quick heads up. Yeah. How are you doing any tugging in it? Am I tugging off? I don't think so. I don't think so. I can't remember how much on-camera tugging you're doing that you can't. I don't think so.

But there's like some, yeah. There's some, like, intimacy scenes, in inverted commas. But I don't, I don't, I don't mind that as much as the tugging. Yeah, I'm not live on my side tugging off. You promise? Promise, yeah. Promise. Yeah, I think we had a show and we roasted a chicken and then just put all the bones in the pot.

And we, I think all I remember is really laughing that we had a show that night. We didn't know what we were going to do. We were making a chicken stock. Okay. my favorite memory of what we did in that sketch group was we want to split an hour with a different group and one of the guys had gone viral for a sketch that they'd done online and it was really blown up and we split this hour with them and we were like hey maybe just to mix it up like maybe we could like you could do one sketch in our half hour we'll do one sketch in your half hour it might be funny even

so they did the viral sketch. in the middle of our half hour, absolutely killed. Everybody just loved it. Yeah, and like, whooping. The sketch we chose to do in the middle of their set was called bow. What it involved was...

Ed's lost it. What it involved was we would come on and bow as if it was the end of the show, even though it wasn't, and then we'd go off again. Nobody knew what was going on. No laughter. I think some people thought it was the end of the show.

Yeah, yeah. nothing, no material involved. We'll do bowing, just bowing in the middle of their set. That's probably my favourite, my favourite, like, things that happened in that group. Yeah. Fucking hell, that's funny. Did you do bow with your own show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So there would be a sketch where you'd just come out and bow the... But we'd have the... We also had the order of sketches hung up so the audience could see them, right? Yeah, so they'd see that there was a sketch coming up called bow, and they'd be like, I wonder what that's going to be. it's just a bow that was a joke and there was another one called

Pizza Express where we would just act as if we were in Pizza Express and we just order a meal there was no jokes and Al Roberts would always he would always put in a gag

and we're like that's not the rule you gotta order strictly from the menu that they'd actually have guys I don't know and then he would panic and he would throw in

like a funny made-up pizza or something and then me and Ed and Tom would be kind of like you can't do that mate bothered him afterwards yeah because it would always get a massive laugh as well because it would be like finally some comedy

but it's a more confusing sketch because then they come away going what was that sketch because it was just all normal there was one funny line but the whole thing was just like there were people to express so it must have failed whereas if the whole thing is just normal

that must be the joke we did one when we all did stand up at the same time as well fucking the worst sketch group I've ever heard Funny for us. Yeah. Thanks so much for coming to the dream restaurant, Will. Thank you, Will.

Thank you, thanks for having me. Well, there we are, James. A lovely chat, a lovely catch-up. Quite a lot of nostalgia for me, Ed Gamble. I like seeing you take a trip down memory lane with Will. And we've been messaging each other since we finished recording, reminding each other of more than four horsemen sketches. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Oh, how nice. Tom Williams with a stylophone. Yeah. Just making faces and then playing the note. And at one point, he did that, but I think it was called MC's stylophone. Yeah.

Sort of like had a rapper outfit on with the stylofone. It's at the back of the stage doing a co-lab with Old Man. I love Old Man. Yeah. I actually really like Old Man. Like Old Man's really funny. Especially he loves rock and roll, old man rocker. Yeah, yeah.

That's funny. I think that would stand the test of time. That would still be funny if you brought it back. I thank you, Will, for not saying Lotus Biscuits, even if I mean we didn't have to kick you out. He was worried we'd picked sushi as a secret ingredient for a laugh. For a laugh? Yeah, because we thought he might pick sushi. Why would we think that?

Well, because he likes Japanese food. I had a lot of stuff in Japan. Yeah, we could have. Yeah, imagine if we had done that. He's half Japanese, for God's sake. I don't think it would have reflected well on us if we had done that to trap him. No. But maybe, just bear that in mind for another guest.

Yeah, trap him. Anyone that we know that's Japanese food we'll get them with that and we'll say that's the Will Sharp special he told us

to get you look out for Will in too much the new Lena Dunham series which is available on Netflix now and a lot of

off-money friends in that cast Yes Richardie Grant of course Richard Hey buddy how you're doing

Leo Reich who we've not had on the podcast before but it's a fantastic How have we not had Leo Reich on the podcast What's our problem The guys do busy

and Lena Dunham's new series had an Adrian special I think we have tried to be fair yeah well Leo if you're listening please pick up the phone oh please

that's desperate that's desperate oh sorry I am touring Europe in November and I'm touring America in 26 February 2026

so get on to Ed Gamble dot co2 EK for tickets if you are someone who lives near some of the places that I'm going

that will be available to see on my website Or if you want to travel there Or if you want to travel there I wouldn't travel there That's a lot of pressure on me Maybe they just like the travel They like the trip

Here's the deal You can travel if it's over land If you're crossing a sea I'd rather you didn't Because that's quite a lot of pressure Well you'd be surprised Some people will cross sea for it And they'll be the rudest audience members

You have on the tour Thanks James As ever you're invigorating my love for stand-up Any time then Thank you James and thank you, Will. Bye-bye. Thank you, Will.

Bye. Thank you, Will. Can't take being on hold anymore? Fizz is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. ACAS powers the world's best podcasts.

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