Off The Telly - "I triaged a pigeon the other day"

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

What are we watching? Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page chat about all things telly.This week they chat about a new BBC drama called Lost Boys and Fairies; a new Benedict Cumberbatch series on Netflix called Eric; plus why they can't get enough of The Great British Sewing Bee and how Natalie loved being in the Xmas special a couple of years ago.In Off the Telly, Natalie and Joanna talk about what they can’t stop watching, what they definitely aren’t going to bother with, and what you’re all watching at home. From new shows to comfort telly to guilty pleasures, there’s no judgement here. What’s kept us all glued to our screens this week?Self-confessed TV addicts and stars of two of the biggest shows on our screens, EastEnders and Gavin and Stacey, Natalie and Joanna are the perfect companions to your weekly viewing habits.Timecodes for shows discussed this week are:12:27 - Lost Boys and Fairies 19:48 - Eric 27:35 - The Great British Sewing BeeGet in touch by sending us a message or voice note via WhatsApp to 03306 784704.Hosts: Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page Producer: Georgia Keating Executive Producer: Richard Morris Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts Unit Manager: Lucy Bannister Sounds Editor: Arlie Adlington Music by MCassoOff The Telly is a BBC Studios Audio Production for BBC Sounds.

BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. Hello and welcome to Off The Telly from BBC Sounds. I'm Natalie Cassidy. And I'm Joanna Page. And this is the podcast where we talk telly. There's going to be a few spoilers and there might be a fair bit of swearing because we just feel like that right now. Oh, you sounded really strong then, Jo.

Did I? Oh, because that's what we're going to be like today. We're women, we're strong and we sometimes swear and do a few spoilers. Like they're the same thing. How are you? I'm good. I've been examining my dogs. Oh. Because I'm working on a show about wildlife.

Yes. I triaged a pigeon the other day. And I thought, I'm going to take this knowledge home with me. And I'm going to triage my dog. So I got Lola on her side. And then I sort of looked in her eyes. They were fine. Lifted up her mouth.

I was like, there's a little bit of, you know, but she's old now, but your teeth are a bit, you know, manky, but they're okay. You're fine. I looked in her ears. They were all fine. Checked her pores. And then, so my conclusion was, I think you're in quite a good shape. Can I ask you something?

Yes. Can you triage me? I could. Because I reckon if I laid on my side... So what I would do now is I would get you on your side. And first of all, because I'm going here now from pigeons and stuff. Would you have a little look in the eyes? I'd lift like that.

I'd look in your eyes, check how both eyes are working. I'd probably look up your nostrils. You'd say they're fucking knackered. They're knackered. You'd look up my nose. You'd say you need to pluck your nose hairs. Nose hairs. And you've got some bogeys up there. I would

go like that. Don't go in the teeth. I've got terrible teeth. I'd open them up, I'd examine the teeth and go, you need to get some veneers. I need to knock them all out. Knock them all out. I need a trip over to wherever you go. Honestly. I'd look in both your ears, and I'd be like, oh,

bit of wax, but they're, you know, pretty clear. Then I would lift your arm up, I would manoeuvre that around. I'd look in both your ears yeah and I'd be like oh a bit of wax but they're you know pretty clear then I would lift your arm up I would manoeuvre that around I'd go ah yeah oh no

I'd be a bit oh god frozen shoulder is it a frozen shoulder or is it a fracture perimenopause yes aches and pains so I'd check your shoulder

and your elbow and your wrist probably check your fingers do that on the other side check your abdomen would you grab see if you've got any lumps and bumps. Yeah, and then would you grab me? Yes, I would grab.

I'd grab you probably from the side. Lovely. Lift up some skin. See how quickly it's shot back down. And then be like, she's well hydrated. I can tell. Pretty well hydrated.

I'd check then all of your joints from your legs and check your feet and I'd be like, there we are, done. Pretty good. You seem to be all right. You'd be packing me off to A&E. there'd be an emergency van turning up for me but I've also been discovering

that it appears that all mammals have nipples of course they fucking do but right I found myself asking the question does a hedgehog does a does a hedgehog does a male hedgehog have nipples and it turns out that no it wasn't as a female hedgehog have nipples? And it turns out that, no, it wasn't, does a female hedgehog have nipples? She does. And she gives colostrum and milk to the baby hedgehogs. But then I was like, well, does a male hedgehog have nipples? And he does.

And then this morning I was talking to my friend Katie, telling her this information, and we were like, oh, my God, does a male dog have nipples? Because why would he have nipples? How would he use them? So then we lifted her dog bear up and does james have nipples james does have nipples but this so this was the whole thing right but i was kind of like so a man has two nipples but a dog would have a load which

prompts you to go well there's a load of puppies to feed from them so why would a male would have a load, which prompts you to go, well, there's a load of puppies to feed from them. So why would a male dog have nipples? But we lifted up Bear and sure enough, Bear's got nipples. And then we found out he's had his balls cut off and he's had a hernia cut out, but he's still got nipples. So I almost half triaged him and I found out he was fine and he's also got nipples. So I've come to the conclusion that

all mammals have nipples well there you go guys you know we're fans of David Attenborough but who needs him now we've got Joanna Page should we should we listen to some messages yes so as always we have had lots of messages and voice notes from you guys at home oh it is like a proper off the telly community it is it really is i really love it i feel we've got our friends now let's hear from some of them first up we've got this lovely voice note from a listener in america hello i have never messaged a podcast before so let's see if I can do this. My name is Kirsten. I'm in Florida and I'm really enjoying the pod. I found blue lights because of it and I'm really enjoying watching that. But I wanted to say just how much I'm looking forward to Christmas Day, of course,

to see the Gavin and Stacey finale, which almost makes me cry. But also, I wanted to say specifically to Natalie, you had made a comment a while back about enjoying filming EastEnders right now. And at first, I thought to myself, it's probably because of her new love interest. Well, not so new now but johnny that plays reese because he just seems like he must be so much fun to work with but then i realized when patsy came back that this is you're having a ball right now with uh with your character so i'm loving it i i uh yeah i'm loving it but anyway thanks thanks again for the pod and take care. Bye.

Oh, Kirsten, thank you so much. What a lovely message. That's lovely. That's really, really lovely. And Johnny is a ball to work with. Is he lovely? And it was absolutely brilliant having Patsy Palmer back. Oh, my God.

So she's quite right. I've had such a fab time lately. Is it nice when, you know, friends come back and stuff? Well, Patsy I've known since 1993, so we've known each other for 31 years. And she really is like a big sister. Aww. So as soon as we get together, we just chat away, laugh, cry, cuddle. Is it hard?

Do you giggle a lot? Because you know each other so well. No, we don't. We giggle, but we just chat too much. It's like you and me. Yeah. Can you imagine us working together? Well, we are working together.

We are, but imagine us on set. I know. Can you imagine us filming? No, I think I'd be getting the giggles all the time with you. I'd get the giggles. I wouldn't stop talking. And then I'd probably go out of my way just to make you laugh. I'd still like to, though.

It'd still be great fun. Yes, it it was but it's so lovely to hear that someone from america is listening to us that's really exciting so thank you so much here's a voice note from a listener about something you said last week joe have a listen to this hi ladies i'm just listening to your most recent episodes and you're talking about Clarkson's Farm. Jo, you have just made my week. You talking about having a small hold in and that you're going to have some pigs and you talked about smoothing the pigs. My face lit up.

I am from South Wales. I'm from Cardiff, but I live in Newport now. My husband's from Bracken. And when I talk about smoothing our dogs or smoothing a cat, he looks at me like I've got 20 heads and he says, Lucy, you stroke a dog, you stroke a cat.

But all my life I've said smooth. But apparently he says it's a Cardiff thing but it can't be because you're not from Cardiff. So I just wanted to drop that little one in there. Thank you very much and that's a really, really lovely message. And I am with you 100% because I've had this in my life. I have always smoothed everything.

You smooth a dog, you smooth the cat. You smooth a hamster, you smooth a horse. You don't. You don't stroke it. No, you stroke it. I would never stroke a dog. You don't stroke a don't stroke it. No, you stroke it. I would never stroke a dog. You don't stroke a dog. You smooth it.

Stroking, I wouldn't stroke a dog. I wouldn't stroke a cat. I think it's a Welsh thing. Is it a Welsh thing? So is that smoothing the hair? Yeah, smoothing it. Smoothing the coat? Yeah, smoothing it, yes.

Smooth, yeah. And I'm not saying to smooth it down. Like doing that, right? That's like smoothing it doing that it's like smoothing it so i'm not smoothing the dog's hair down or smoothing it straight or whatever doing that to it is smoothing it it's stroking it it's not stroking i would know god i couldn't i could never say i've stroked a dog why is that because it oh it just sounds horrible it just sounds weird i've stroked a dog it sounds awful really yeah but i can say i've smoothed a dog i've smoothed a dog that just sounds natural it's a it must be a thing because it's like the same like that that that I feel right about saying that's my year and saying that's my year.

Oh, my God. When I say that's my year, I get like as if someone's punched me in the gut. I get it. And I think it's lovely. Colloquialisms are lovely. Yes. Yeah. Let's carry on with our smoothing of animals.

Now, we've had lots of you get in touch after we talked about Bridgerton a couple of weeks ago some of you said we definitely need to go back and watch from series one which I do think is fair enough yeah me too it is and most of you said how much you loved the show but it is fair to say not all of you loved it here's a message from Tony hi Jo and Nat Just listened to your latest episode. Amazing, as always. And just wanted to say about Bridgerton, I bloody hate it. Weirdly, it is everything I usually enjoy, but for some reason, I just can't stand it.

I've tried to watch it twice now and just cannot get on with it. On the other hand, my recommendation for you two is Downton Abbey. Honestly, you will be hooked from episode one. Can't believe either of you haven't seen it before. Just watch it for Maggie Smith alone. It is one, Tony, I want to watch. I think maybe we'd enjoy it.

Do you think so? Yeah, no, I do. Do you? Yeah, I think it would be one of those with a glass of sherry. Do you think so? Rainy day, and I reckon on a Sunday afternoon I'd text you and go, Jo, it's quarter past four on a November evening. Put a little lamp on, have a little sherry. Let's watch series one of Downton Abbey and I think you'd bloody love it.

I bet I would, mind, wouldn't I? I think we should pop it on in November. Do you know what? Stuff it. I'm going to give it. I'm going to just go for it. Not now. No, no, no.

Let's wait. I've got to wait until November. Yeah, no, it'd just be nice. Just let's enjoy the summer. I'm going to do it though. Stuff it, right. Let's wait. I've got to wait until November. Yeah, no, it'd just be nice. Just let's enjoy the summer. I'm going to do it though. Stuff it, right? It's been going for years. I'm going to put on episode one of series one.

And I'm going to see if it cracks me. I know you're going to do that though, because I'm not going to do it at the same time, am I now? No, because I'm not going to be able to wait. And I'm just going to go stuff everything. No, you're going to go on. You're going to get home. Yes.

You're going to breastfeed Beau. Yes. And I'm going to put Downton Abbey on. And by the time we do get to November, I'm going to be on series like 18 or something. Doggone tits up. We never watch anything together. Right, finally, I want to read this message

that we've had from Zoe. Hi, Nat and Jo. Brilliant podcast as always. I watched the first series of The Responder and loved it. 20 minutes into the second series, I said to my husband, I can't watch this. It's making me feel so depressed. And then I put Inside No. 9 on, The Harrowing. 15 minutes into that and I thought, what a load of shit this is.

So we turned over and watched epic rap battles of history on YouTube, had a right laugh and we all lived happily ever after. Keep up the great work, girls. It would be boring if we all liked the same thing. Love from Zoe in Southampton. What a good message. It's a great message. That is so good.

So good. We don't all like the same thing. No. But Zoe's absolutely right. Not all of us love everything and that's why there's so many channels, so many streaming services. That's why we go into a library and there are millions of books because all of us are different and I love that.

Yeah, I love that too. It makes the world interesting. So what are we talking about this week? Oh, we're covering Lost Boys and Fairies on BBC iPlayer, Eric on Netflix and The Great British Sewing Bee on BBC iPlayer. Right, let's talk telly. So show one, Lost Boys and Fairies. We have had so many of you recommend Lost Boys and Fairies,

so we had to watch it. Here's a voice note from one listener who can't recommend it enough. Good morning. Just listened to the last one. You're on about things that make you cry. Biggest tearjerker was lost boys and fairies um I'm a foster carer and I've taken children through to adoption and so that process as well seeing it like that um yeah it was very emotional but it's very emotional anyway for other reasons and I don't want to say just in case

other people haven't watched it but yeah oh my god that really does make you cry oh i don't know where to start with this neither do i well it's about let's summarize it yes two men are they no they're not married are they are they married no they're not married no so they're just partners and they're together one is from wales one is from ireland and they're not married. No, so they're just partners and they're together. One is from Wales, one is from Ireland. And they're together and they've decided that they would like to adopt. They're gay and the fella from Wales, Gabe, you find out that, oh God, it was just heartbreaking, I'm sorry. When he was growing up, his mum, who was just so lovely

and nurturing and kind and lovely, lovely she died she died when he was very young yeah when he was well he was very young wasn't he yeah and then he carries on living with his father who is much sterner he's welsh speaking um so the show is like religious yeah incredibly religious the show's bilingual which i've never seen before on on you know primetime how was that for you to hear the welsh language it was really was it nice it was like oh my god i've never seen anything like this before i haven't seen anything that is bilingual on like a primetime channel and it's just it was brilliant it was great i thought it was really interesting actually so just going back a little bit i love the fact firstly i love the main characters yeah i think they're great actors. Yeah. I really believe them.

I think from very, very early on, immediately I thought, what's wrong with Gabe? Yeah. He's uncomfortable in this interview situation with adoption. I love the lady that plays the interviewee. Oh, I love her. She's fantastic.

And what has she been in? Because you're so good. She's been in loads, isn't she? She's been in so much. I first ever watched it, it's Elizabeth Barrington. Yeah. She was in The Lakes, which was a Jimmy McGovern thing, years and years and years ago, that my husband, James, was in.

Okay. And it was all about this family that moved to The Lakes and they go and they work in a hotel. And she, you know, is in it. But I just really know her. Yeah, I know her face. We saw her a couple of weeks ago. Go on.

She's a counsellor in The Responder. Oh, yes. That's where you probably know it, yeah. Yeah, I just love her. I think she's brilliant. I think she's very good at that part, that interview, kind of a little bit straight-faced, a little bit strong and could rub someone up the wrong way.

Yeah, yeah. But actually she gets on with who she gets on with and i think that's a really difficult part to play isn't it because she really gets on with andy yeah but dave's not quite you know i think it's great and i love the way it flashed back and you've got the flashbacks between growing up like you said from being little and you're finding out about both characters through these interviews because they want to become dads and they want to adopt now gone to the um she says it's like an open day oh and so i know they've got they've got their superman t-shirts

so it's an open day to go and meet all the little children who want to be adopted yeah and so you turn them so i've heard about you know these days and everything but until you actually sort of see it i just don't think you could ever imagine what it would be like and they turn up and it's like a superman well it says superhero superhero thing so they've both got supergirl tops on yeah and um oh my god that scene where they sit there and then they're given the brochure and they open the brochure and there are all these photos of these little children aging from like i don't know it's about one to about seven or one to six and then they meet a little boy afterwards who's seven and these little photos saying hi i'm tamsin i love dressing up and such and such hi i'm peter i love and it's just this brochure of all these children oh my god i just i was just i was just

gone my stomach was aching i just thought oh my oh, my God. It's just, God, love them. And do you know what I like, right, is that Gabe is like a performance artist. Yes. And he dresses up and he's singing. So there's the singing through it, but then there are other moments, like when the doors open,

they say you can now go in and meet the children. There's this whole sort of surreal scene where they're imagining the parents all fighting and stunts and throwing themselves off. And I thought, thank Christ for that. Because I was crying about four times during the first episode. And thank God for a bit like that, that just lightens it a bit. Because I'm like, I can't take it.

It's just heartbreaking. I just think there's a lot of issues through it, running through it. Stuff that's really, really difficult. Not only have you got the kind of, such a hard journey through adoption and what people need to go through you have a gay couple yeah you're going through homophobia you're touching on kind of the 80s aids crisis because he was watching that as a young boy and he has these nightmares you know and as you're flushing back you see the pain that it's caused him and the shame that he's had and

the guilt because of the religion from his father etc and then you go into this kind of relationship which is quite complicated but they obviously really love each other there's so much really love each other from his lost mother absolutely and then what about when they meet the little boy jake and so when they meet him you know when jake just walks across the road and just goes well i, I just went again. No, I know. It is painful. It's heartbreaking. It's wonderful because it's delving into themes that I've not really seen tackled on TV before.

The acting is superb. Yeah, I agree. Gabe and Andy are wonderful. Elizabeth Barrington is wonderful. I would recommend watching it, but it's painful. It is painful, but I think you're learning a lot. What I love is there's some great stuff on the telly now that you're learning from.

Yes, you are. When you're not from those worlds, this is what telly should be about. And it's happening, isn't it? It's very good. It's very good. It's well acted, it's well shot, and I think it's well written and I think it's really good. It really, really is. And it is nice.

I mean, my God, hearing a Welsh accent and hearing the Welsh language on TV. Because you just don't hear the Welsh language on TV. No, it's lovely. No, never. I think they're very good. And I mean, and Gabe's dad, he's just, I know men like that. And then he's talking and you can kind of go well I understand I mean sort of like

when we were talking last week about Queenie and her boyfriend's grandmother yes you kind of they don't know any it's the world that they're from that's a kind of generational

yeah I'm not saying that's right yeah but it kind of stuck in this sort of weird old world come on get out of it and

my god I had to stop watching it a few times because I was like, I just want to take the little boy. I just want to take them and catch them and just love them. It's just so heartbreaking. But it's brilliant. It's on BBC iPlayer and we really recommend it.

Tell us what you think. We've had so many recommendations anyway, but you tell us what you think. Please do. Because we think it is great so our next one is eric on netflix well my goodness it stars benedict cumberbatch and he basically is um it's set in new york in the 80s and he basically is like the writer of what you would sort of call the muppets now. It's a show called Good Times. The Muppets or Sesame Street.

Yes. So he's a puppeteer. He writes the whole thing. And he's got quite an ego. He quite clearly has a bit of a drink problem. 100%. Or has had a drink problem. Oh, no, he's got a drink problem.

His life revolves around himself. And then he's got a young son. And then he's married. Who can I... I've got to say it before we carry on i love that actress oh my god i was going to say the same thing because she plays adam driver's sister in girls have you seen her in that she is cracking and she did a whole series where she's stark bollock naked throughout the whole event and i think she's giving birth in the bath she's either giving birth or having a breakdown.

I can't remember. Or she might have done both in two episodes. And she's raw. She's absolutely raw and fearless. She's bloody brilliant. And in this, I can't take my eyes off her. I think she's amazing. So they are a couple and the marriage isn't good.

No. And so he's very... The Benedict Cumberbatch character is very nasty and very nasty to his son his son is um very creative very creative just a normal little boy isn't he just a little boy who's you know just an innocent little boy but the father is he's on a power trip but he's got a real chip on his shoulder yeah about everything the little boys come up with a character yeah for you know, a puppet. And so they sit at the dinner table

and then the dad... It's really quite hard to watch. It's horrible. It's horrible. The dad is like, well, pitch it to me. No, you can't just say that. Well, what are you going to do?

Well, you can't just say, you know, you need to say that. And he just goes for the boy and then the mum says, stop doing this. Parents have a huge big argument and I think she throws something at him.

And then it goes like the next morning and they're on their way to go to school the parents are still bickering and for the first time ever they say to the little boy walk yourself to school well she says please walk into school yeah and the dad says he's old enough to go to school on his own and so off he goes yeah oh god and then that's right and then that's the last thing they see of him. I've only done the first episode, so that's the last they see. No, that's me too.

I don't know if they're going to feature what happens with him because you get a few glimpses of, like, you know, the fellow who's cleaning the floors. Who seems so lovely. He's not done nothing. I think he has. Do you? Yeah, I think.

Because you see him and he seems so lovely. No, he's done nothing wrong. He's in his little, he's like the caretaker. He's in his thing, I think. And then you see somebody just sitting in a car and there's a club nearby and there's this cop, this fab cop, and I think he worked for Vice, but he's now moved to like Missing Persons, hasn't he?

Yes, that's right, yeah. And so he comes out, but there's this nightclub and it seems like he regularly goes in there with a tape recorder. There's another story going on, isn't there? Because when he taped it and i thought oh this is for this obviously this case yeah and then he takes the tape recorder back to his office and you see 20 you know dated cases so that's lovely in the first step you think oh there's another story here he's playing the tape over and over and there's like that code where you hear the sound in the nightclub and they say,

oh, I've got a lovely 10-year-old bit of something, something. Would you like such and such? As if they're talking about food or something. And then he's like, well, lovely 10-year-old. That sounds like it's a code for we've got a 10-year-old boy here. And then you hear someone saying, would you like some food, kid? And then you hear a child's voice saying, yes, please. And so he's like twigged because he's very suspicious about the club and but the way that they've captured new york in the 80s

it's it's filmed and it's quite faded it's really good they've bloody got it yeah yeah it's really really good i don't know i've seen anything which i thought was this good in a long while can i be honest about one thing completely yeah as Yes, completely, yeah. As usual, I don't mix my words. I didn't enjoy Benedict Cumberbatch's character. Is that spoiling the show for you? What do you think? I love Benedict Cumberbatch, right, in Sherlock. I know it's really stupid because I am an actor and I'm being ridiculous and he's an amazing actor

and he can do whatever he wants. But him in this sort of odd T-shirt with a puppet, I was like, this is upsetting me a little bit. What, because you don't think he's pulled it off and you don't think it's good or because you just don't like the character? Both. But look at how we've spoken about it, right?

We basically have talked about everything about the show, actually, without talking about the main guy in it. Because clearly we're loving all of that stuff and we haven't really talked about the main guy in it. But maybe it's because he's really good at being an arsehole. I mean, he is an arsehole. He's a real arsehole and I don't like it. He's a narcissistic arsehole.

I'm liking him. I'm not liking the character. No, no. But I am liking him like it. He's a narcissistic arsehole. I'm liking him. I'm not liking the character. No, no. But I am liking him in it. I'm being a really, really old-fashioned, I loved him in Sherlock. No, you're not. No, I am.

I am. I'm going, oh, I really liked him in Sherlock. I don't want to see him as anything else. Yeah, but that's fine. But that's all right. That's absolutely fine. But you know what, right? I'm going to carry on watching this, but watching stuff like this after having children. It's fine. But that's all right. That's absolutely fine. But you know what, right? I'm going to carry on watching this,

but watching stuff like this after having children. It's hard. It's hard. Because I suppose we know now it's the worst thing in the world. And when you watch things now, it's not like watching Make Believe and watching a TV show. Because we, you know, and you can't imagine what it would ever be like

because we know now what it could be like. And it's just it's a hard watch but I think it's very good I think the way that they've shot New York the way it's all faded the way the nightclub is

I love the part yeah no I like it I think it's all great I think she's amazing I'm going to carry on watching it but I think it's going to be a hard watch

I've got to I've got to find out where he is oh god I don't think it's going to be a happy ending I really don't you don't think it's going to be a happy ending. I really don't. You don't think it's going to be the dad?

What? You think it's Benedict Cumberbatch? Yeah, 100%. No. Where's his cut come from on his head? Oh, when she threw a glass at him and she smashed it. Not sure. Oh, my God. Do you think so?

Do you think he's involved in it? I don't think he is. No, maybe not. It's certainly not the bloke sweeping the stairs, that lovely man. I'll tell you what it is. Bloody maybe not. It's certainly not the bloke who's sweeping the stairs. That lovely man. It's entirely what it is. Bloody well is. They're featuring him too much. We'd better carry on. I bet he's a lovely guy.

There was like a close-up on his face and he's down there. That was his little bit of escapism going down there and a laugh. He's gone down and he's in that room. That's a wanker. And the cop came to have a look and the cop said, oh, do you have grandkids? Yes. And he said, oh no, I'm just mending that.

Why have they featured that? They featured that to go he's involved he tips off the night club right my my thing is right i bet he tips off the fella in the nightclub and then the fella in the nightclub who's in the car or one of the fellas in the nightclub snatches um the boy and i think that that's what it's like and we've not actually even talked about the whole fact that eric the monster comes alive at the end of ep1 no i know i mean that in itself because all i've seen now is the back of the monster walking up going you know you need to get yourself sorted you're whatever follow me we need to find your boy whatever the monster's

saying and then it ends and so i mean jesus christ i'm like i've got to i don't know even know how that how are they going to put that in? What are they going to do? Well, I think the dad decides to go to the channel to say, this was Eric's character. Yes. And we need to create the character because if he sees it on screen, he'll know that we're looking for him or something like that. But anyway, have a little look.

I think it's good. It's really good. It's quite deep. It's deep. It's dark. But I think it's good. No, it's a It's quite deep. It's deep, it's dark, but I think it's good. No, it's a good one to watch. You can watch this on Netflix.

Let us know what you think, please. Yes, let us know what you think. Right, what's our next one? Oh, The Great British Sewing Bee. Oh, it's lovely. It's just, listen. It's lovely. You can't beat this format you can't i mean and you have to say it is the same format you could be watching the bake-off you could be watching

whatever it's the same format but it works and it's fast it works every time and after i watched i watched the episode where they were making handbags oh yeah they did the wedding dresses um and then what do they i can't remember what they finished off with then. Oh, and then it was all recycle, reuse, redo, all of that stuff. After watching it, I was like, Flippin' Egg, Jo, why have you been buying handbags? Why don't you just go and make yourself one? Well, you say that, but it's quite difficult. Well, it is.

I did the Christmas special of the sewing bit. No way. A couple of years ago. Oh, my God. Well, what was it like? What did you do? Loved it. What the hell did you make?

Can you sew? Not much, but you have a team of people there. Yeah. So you design what you'd like. It's like the Bake Off, you know. Oh, my God. You design what you like, and then you get your materials and what have you. But you walk into that room.

Oh, my God. and then you get your materials and what have you, but you walk into that room. Oh, my God. The amount of walk. The haberdasheries. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I love what they've done with all the cotton. The buttons, the lace, the cotton, all of that. The knitter, it is... You can't help but get overexcited.

Did you face over material? Did they give you a task and then they've got all the material in the middle and did you run and go, I've just got to grab all of this? I did, yeah. Yeah. And then did you ever panic? I need those buttons, I need that. But did you panic at one point? You know when they've got all the material in the middle. And did you run and go, I've just got to grab all of this? I did, yeah. Yeah. I said, I need those buttons.

I need that. But did you panic at one point? You know when they've got all the material and then they come back to their desk and then they're kind of like, oh, my God, what do I make? Well, mine was Christmas, right? Right. And one of them was a big sack, kind of a stocking. Yes. It was under a tree and we all had to pick a Santa sack.

We picked the sack to see what colour we got. Yeah. I mean, we were going to make something within this colour. And it was kind of an outfit for a little toddler. Yeah. What colour did... Did you pick brown? Yeah, how do you know that?

Oh, my God, because I thought of the shitter's colour. And it was brown. Why did they put brown? And Esme doesn't like brown. Brown. You picked brown. You could have had red. You could have had green. They had't like brown. Brown. You picked brown. You could have had red, you could have had green, you could have had white, you could have had glitter. They had gold, they had this, they had that.

Brown. Did you make a brown dress? Oh, I tell you what. I tried to make a Christmas pudding. Oh, now I think that's quite sweet. Did it look like a piece of shit? Piece of shit. Oh, my God. Little tiny of shit. Oh, my God.

Little tiny turd. Oh, my God. That's awful. But it was a brilliant show. So, did you pad it so it goes out round a bit or did you just basically have a brown... It was all brown and I was running out of time. It was a nightmare.

What did they say? Can you remember what they said to you? What did they say? No, they were really complimentary, actually. Because I had a go. And that was reusing. So it was brown baby grow. And I was cutting it.

What was a brown baby grow? All baby grows are white unless they've been stained with poo. No, these were brown. Proper brown. Who the hell buys a brown baby grow? People. Brown. God.

I don't think I ever bought a brown baby grow for my girls. I'm thinking I had sort of a camel colour Oh camel's different though isn't it or a stone I bought brown dungarees once Lovely Brown dungarees for Eva I loved them they were nice That's alright because you put a lovely little pearl in it

Oh she's so unbiased brown baby grow good god Anyway there you go Did you have anything around the neck to brighten it up a bit? Jesus Christ, did you not have anything around the neck? No, from what I remember, I can't remember what I did. I can't remember now. Was it just all brown? We'd have to look back on it.

No, it was brown, but I did a bit of something because it was meant to be a Christmas pudding. I did kind of a cream. I wanted to do the cream dripping from the... Do you know what I mean? Like the brandy butter. Yes. I did sort of a trim.

Oh, God, were you gutted when you pulled out the brown? I did red berries and a holly. I did a hairband. Oh, that's nice. A little hairband with a holly. That's sweet. As if that was the top of the... It was a pile of shit, Jo.

Quite literally. What else did you have to do on it? I had to make... Well, I made a coat. Oh! I made kind of an anorak. Oh, my God. Have you ever made anything like that before?

Never in my life. But like I say, you get all the cutouts and you do it. It was good. I was ironing all the transfers. I was using the sewing machine. Good God. Did it leave you traumatised afterwards? No, I just have a laugh.

I have a laugh. You've just got to go for it. Do you always, because I can't, I take it too seriously. I get to the competitive, I think, I'll go into it. This is a good experience. This will be a laugh. I get there and then the competitiveness takes over because I'm an Aries and I just end up going,

Jesus, if you worked hard, you could win this. Oh, yeah. You want to beat everybody. I never do that. And I just push myself too much and I end up crying. Yeah, I don't, no interest. I'm just there for the ride. Well, that's't. No interest. I'm just there for the ride. Well, that's nice, isn't it?

I'm there for the ride. It's like when we play a game of Monopoly at home. Yeah. People hate being with me. Do they? What, because you're so nice? They're like, we can't be with... Yeah, because I'm like, oh, it's all right.

It doesn't matter, we win. They're like, we're not being with her. I don't want to be on that team. I was playing Monopoly. It was Noah, me and Eva. And we were playing Monopoly. It was Noah, me and Eva. And we were playing Monopoly. And then I picked up a card or something. Or Noah had turned us back or something.

Oh no, I just did the card. And it said, it was something about giving him money. And it was relating to Mayfair or something or other. Oh no, I switched the cards around. So I got Mayfair. And then I put it back. So I won Mayfair. And then we were

playing and then Eva halfway through the next round had to say mummy I'm sorry this doesn't sit well with me I just have to say I know that you cheated to get Mayfair I feel ashamed saying it she said I know you cheated to get Mayfair and it is awful you're a traitor oh my god that's such an awful thing I they'd won so many times out That's out of order. And I'd had enough. And it was just a slight hand with the cards, a slight of hand with the cards. And I thought, oh, what harm does it do? Well, it turns out it did a lot of harm.

It's out of order, cheating. It's really bad. When you come round for Christmas... Yes. ...and we have a board game... Yeah. ...I don't know what I'm going to do now, because I'll be permanently looking at you...

You will. ...thinking you're cheating now. You will. Because I will keep it together... Is James a cheater as well? No, he doesn't cheat. Oh, right. No.

As long as you're not an MMA. And he's not actually that bothered if he wins or loses or whatever. No. But no, it digs in me if I lose. I have to win. I have to win. I don't always win, because most of the time I try not to cheat. Oh, you're like my nephew, Jack.

He does that on the board. Really? Yeah. I've done that before when I was younger. With poker. Oh, God. We had the Pokey Goat Championship with my parents. And I went and got us a trophy.

And I walked into the trophy shop because we had this poker championship going. I walked into the trophy shop to get a trophy. And there was a flipping goat us a trophy and I walked into the trophy shop because we had this poker championship going. Walked into the trophy shop to get a trophy and there was a flipping goat on a trophy. And I thought, good God, what do you ever need a trophy for with a goat on it? I had no idea. Because you're the goat? I don't know. And so I just thought, well, you know what?

I'm going to get it, put on something. And I brought it home and I went there we go here's our poker trophy it's a goat because when would you ever have a trophy as a goat and so then it became the Pokey Goat Championship

oh it's really good yeah and so and I'd get engraved everybody who won apart from when my mum eventually won I got engraved Sue Page

something like was devious cheated and won something quite poorly and I actually went and got that engraved when she won

isn't that awful it's terrible can I tell you cheated and won something quite poorly and actually went and got that engraved when she won. Isn't that awful? It's terrible. Can I tell you why goat is a thing? No. Oh, my God. Is that greatest of all time? There you go.

You just said it. But this was years ago. This was before I even had kids. I don't think they did greatest of all time goat then. Oh, really? No. So it was just a goat? It was just a goat. I just a goat i don't know should we go back to the sewing bee for a minute okay so i it makes you feel happy it makes you feel warm

i just don't think you can beat the concept now you can't whether it's baking whether it's sewing whether it's painting it works whether it's pottery I can't get enough of it, Jo. It's brilliant. It just works. I love the judges. I think they're all fantastic. They're all brilliant. Each one of them is different. Yeah.

Bring something separate to it. And I love the, I just like the stories of the people. They're always lovely people. They do. They're all a bit, you know, they're a bit of a character.

Yeah. And they've all got a little something going on. I was watching the one with the wedding dresses. Yes, that's what... Did you see that one? The girl who won? Oh. With the god, with that baby doll dress.

Wasn't it amazing? That was brilliant. I would have worn that dress. Yeah, me too. And she'd sort of like painted over it and... And didn't you watch it and go, how does she paint? If I tried to paint something like that, it'd have to go in the bin. It would.

I mean, she not only just scattered it, but it looks like there's like, it just looked really lovely. It just looked proper. Honestly, I thought the same, and I thought, I'm going to talk about that, because I thought that's really good. It is. Really good art. Yeah.

It did, because it just looked so beautiful, because it was quite pastel-y, wasn't it? And it just worked. I just think the whole concept's brilliant. I love it. What is there not to love about the Sorenbo? There isn't anything not to love about it. It is really, really good.

It's feel good. You know, you get really involved in the people, in their stories. It's just really good. It's really lovely. And if you're Jo, you just kill everybody else to win it. Yes. I take just really good. It's really lovely. And if you're Jo, you'd just kill everybody else to win it. I'd take them all out. But some way I'd go around

and I would snip the electrical cord of their sewing machines or something. I'd take them all out. You'd hide all the cotton. I would. There'd be no scissors around. It'd be hell on earth. Right, I think we should hear what recommendations our listeners have got for us. Oh yes, let's listen to this voice note from Claire. Hi girls, it's Claire here from Maidstone in Kent. I just love Wednesdays when your new episode comes out, which I always

listen to on my morning walk after my daughter has gone to school. I'm always smiling and laughing. Anyway, I just want to pick up subtitled dramas to you, which is something I don't think you've mentioned on the podcast yet. My mum and I are absolutely obsessed with anything with a subtitle. We've seen them all, particularly Danish dramas or Norwegian, Swedish, anything like that. There's also a whole range of them on Channel 4 by Walter Presents, which are amazing. But I would suggest for anybody who hasn't seen anything subtitled before watching lupin which is french and it's

on netflix it's just brilliant anyway bye for now keep up the good work oh thank you for that voice note yeah no you know what claire i've been thinking the same this is something that i want to go into and i know that i'll absolutely love it because as a youngster should we say in my 20s i used to go to a lot of french cinema film noir i've got a lot of stuff at home from artificial eye lots and lots of federico fellini like in the film world i've done all this and I love it. Yes. So why I haven't gone into this, I don't know. Yes.

And I just haven't. We should. So I need. Well, I have to do your favourite. Oh, my God, The Bridge. I have to do your favourite. Do you know, by the end of it, I had it, you know, with the subtitles and everything, but by the end of it, they were just speaking and I felt like I could understand them. I sort of knew them all so well. I felt like I could just them I sort of knew them all so well I felt like I could just I could understand what she was saying yes yeah I fancy lupin I'm

going to try that one now because I've not heard of that one before oh well thank you so much Claire we've got a voice note here from Susan hi Natalie and Jo it's Susan here um thank you for your wonderful podcast I absolutely love it there was um There wasn't really a podcast out there for me before yours, so I'm so pleased that I found you. Thank you. Yes, I have seen Inside Number Nine's The Harrowing, and quite frankly, I'm still fairly traumatised by the whole thing, I can tell you I love their work they're such clever guys I think the League of Gentlemen in fact is about 25 years old now which makes me feel really old um anyway on to recommendations I have been watching a very funny show on Netflix called Louder Milk oh my word it's a bit naughty and definitely not one to watch with the kids but i think it's very funny and worth a watch i love your podcast so much thank you take care bye oh brilliant i've not even heard of that not heard a word about it and if it's funny and a little bit naughty i'm all in

yeah we should do that thank you susan louder milk louder milk sounds good that sounds good thank you so much gosh well as always thank you so much for all of your messages and voice notes thank you we've got a call out for you for our

what shall we watch bonus eps for our next one we'd love to get some voice notes from you about your TV crushes who is your TV crush

we know that Jo's is Danny Dyer it can be a character or an actor or a presenter. We want to hear about them all. My crush, you know, from the 90s. Who? When I was a little girl. Yeah?

Was Gary Lineker. Oh, God, I fancy Gary Lineker. But I was a massive Arsenal fan. Right. And he used to play for Spurs, so I couldn't tell anyone. Oh, my God, so did you just have to keep it to yourself? Yeah. Oh, my God. He was gorgeous, though, wasn't he? Yeah, I couldn't tell anyone. Oh my god, so did you just have to keep it to yourself? Yeah. Oh my god. He was gorgeous though, wasn't he? Yeah, I couldn't tell anyone. Oh my

god. It's really hard. That's difficult. There you go. God, I fancied him as well. Wasn't he lovely? Well, we love hearing your voices, so please do keep sending us voice notes and messages on WhatsApp, and we might even play them out in our bonus eps.

The number is 03306 784 704. Well, I think that's enough from us for this week, Jo. Yes, although I could carry on talking about Gary Lineker. This week, we've been watching Lost Boys and Fairies on BBC iPlayer, Eric on Netflix, and The Great British Sewing Bee on iPlayer. Thank you so much for listening and we'll be back with more Off the Telly next Wednesday on BBC Sounds.

Bye! Off the Telly is hosted by Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page. The producer is Georgia Keating. The commissioning editor is Rhian Roberts and it's a BBC Studios audio production for BBC Sounds. Hi guys, I'm Ryland and this is How To Be In The Spotlight from BBC Sounds. It's the podcast where together we're going to hear what it's like to be thrust into the public eye by those who've lived to tell the tale.

In this podcast, I'm going to be joined by 12 fantastic guests who are going to share how they've learned to navigate the perks, pressures and pitfalls of fame. This is Rylan, How To Be In The Spotlight. Listen on BBC Sounds.