Off The Telly - What Shall We Watch? Reality TV

Episode Date: September 20, 2024

In this bonus episode they hear from listeners about their most iconic reality TV moments! Be prepared to reminisce about some of the best Big Brother has to offer, as well I'm A Celeb and The X Factor.Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page chat about all things on and off the telly. What they can’t stop watching, what they definitely aren’t going to bother with, new releases and comforting classics – TV is timeless and no telly is out of bounds. As well as having a natter about what’s on TV, they share backstage goss from the world of telly, whilst also cracking up about the more humbling moments in their lives. Self-confessed TV addicts and stars of two of the biggest shows on our screens, EastEnders and Gavin and Stacey, Natalie and Joanna are the perfect companions to see what’s occurring on and off the telly.Get in touch by sending us a message or voice note via WhatsApp to 03306 784704.Hosts: Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page Producer: Georgia Keating Executive Producer: Pete Strauss Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts Production Co-ordinator: Becky Carewe-Jeffries Sounds Editor: Arlie Adlington Music by MCassoOff The Telly is a BBC Studios Audio Production for BBC Sounds.

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Hello and welcome to Off The Telly, What Shall We Watch from BBC Sounds. Jo, it's been a few weeks since we've done one of these. I can't believe how quickly the summer has gone. I really can't believe it's just flown by. I mean, the summer didn't even get here, did it? I mean, it appeared for a couple of days and then it's gone. And my old smelly sandals have gone back up into the attic, which I'm really sad about.

Before putting them up in the loft have you aired them out or god no i've just literally put them in a big plastic box and they'll probably ferment for until next year now i mean i don't know it might do them good they might have disintegrated by the time they come down again are they in with uh other you know clothes and yes yeah okay yeah they're in with clothes. They've been in the sea. I've not even washed them and I have just put them in with clothes.

You're much more organised than me. You with your elasticated stockings that you wear on the plane. I mean, I just like literally chucked in the smelliest things going with my clothes. It'll be like something's died in there by the time they come down next year. It was just that very kind of sweet smell of vinegar that I'm picturing and smelling at the moment. Imagining it with your lovely shirts and skirts.

Yes. Yeah. They'll all have that mustiness, that musty smell to them now next year you'll have to remind well you i won't need reminding because i'm scarred for life but next year when it's sort of spring has sprung you're left to bring the plastic box to me and then i can give it all to wash for you before summer turns up oh my god that would be amazing will you somehow manage to do you know on your new show right finding out different bits and bobs for you know things on the internet that you can buy will you find me something to sterilize and demustify my favorite sandals i don't need anything for that i can do that for

you really how will you do it i think what i would do first is put them in some washing up liquid, into warm water, into the sink. And I'd sort of rub them and prise off kind of the vinegary smell. And then I think I'd let them sort of dry off. And then I'd get some stain, some vanish, stuff like that, go over them, scrub them all up, dry them again, and then Febreze them all. And I think leave them outside for a bit in the sunshine and they'll be good as new.

Do you know, before we do that, right, we need to set up our own OnlyFans account specifically for that thing. Because I'm sure that we'd earn a couple of million, we've said this before, but I think specifically we would earn a couple of million from my, from you actually taking them off my sweaty feet and then you actually cleaning them there and then when

they have just been worn and doing all of that cleaning them and everything we should we may as well just film that and put it on the internet and we become millionaires all right well let's do that next spring then that's something to think about it's something to sort of aim for something to look forward to in it i just you know i do like. So if that's where we're going, I'm up for it. That's something to look forward to next summer. Oh, dear. And this is another Zoom whilst you're filming, Gavin and Stacey, Jo. Yes, another Zoom.

We're getting dab hands at it now. Well, we are. The only thing I would say is that we haven't sort of switched it off and switched it back on again because we're filming two tonight. So it might be different the next time we go on. I think, right, once we start doing it and we're on, it all goes good. But if we have to switch off and then the switching back on again, we have to be talked all the way through it again don't we yeah I wonder if I'll ever learn and be able to like kind of

start doing it myself well we I think we're getting there I think practice makes perfect but I have to say I do love seeing you and I do like meeting up with you so I'm looking forward to us not being as busy and getting back into the studio because I love having a little cheeky cocktail with you sometimes. I know. Last time we met up, we went to that lovely pub in Soho, didn't we? I've never seen it before. Wasn't that nice in there?

It was really nice. I had a margarita, didn't I? And then a little gin and tonic. We've got to do that again next time. We will. 100% will. Yeah. I think those women on the next table to us were quite freaked out

because Sonia and Stacey were sitting at the next table to them i do think that yeah there was three ladies i think they were out for the theater or something and i do think they were quite shocked seeing us together yeah but you know what can you do oh dear so this week's bonus sets all about your favourite moments from reality TV. Now we have had absolutely loads of voice notes about Big Brother. Loads of my favourite ones from Big Brother. But what moment springs to your mind, Nat?

I have to say Vanessa Feltz in the Big Brother house. Because she is a very intelligent, lovely woman. Really lovely lady. But that place just sent her doolally. And she just couldn't stand it, could she? And I just remember that whiteboard. Wasn't it a whiteboard? She was writing all over it. Am I right with that? It was that whiteboard. Wasn't it a whiteboard? She was writing all over it.

Yeah. Am I right with that? It was a blackboard. It was a blackboard. No, I think it was a blackboard and she had chalk and then she started writing with chalk all over the table. That's it. That's it.

And I just remember that. And, you know, that place can do a lot of funny things to people. I mean, I was all right, frankly. Yeah. But that and George Calloway with a cat. Is it Calloway or Galloway? Calloway's golf clubs, isn't it? Galloway.

It is Galloway. Calloway's golf clubs. I mean, do you know, right, it's the same for me, right? I would say that my favourite moments are from the early, early days of Big Brother. I mean, do you remember when Paul and Helen first got together? Do you remember Helen, who was blonde and she was Welsh? And I think she said, do chickens eat cock? Or because she was thinking that chickens and cockerels,

I think she thought they were the same thing. But I just remember her making me laugh so much. And then she said, I loves blinking, I do. Yeah, another one one I must talk about which for me I know I'm biased because he has played my brother for over 30 years but Dean Gaffney's Bush Tucker trial with Ant and Dec if I down, I will put that on YouTube. Which one was it? What did he do? I can't remember.

Jo, just please tonight, just put it on. Just put on Dean Gaffney, I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. And it's his first one because he went into kind of a superstars one that they did with Jo Swash and that was great. It's still funny. But the original one, he was so petrified of everything. I can't explain it. It's just the best telly.

Oh, God. Right, I'm going to look at that tonight. Have a little look. Please, everybody else, let me know what you think of that because for me it was genius. There have been some classic ones and i'm a celebrity isn't there like paul burrell when he's like move over darling and you know there have been some really really good ones because that show must be terrifying mustn't it when you sit in there

and you've got to eat a fish eye or something like that and it's just it is just you're deep seated for years and you've just got to try and plough through it. It's horrific. Absolutely horrific. Dean is a clean freak also, so he'd have about four showers a day. You honestly could eat off of him. He's spotless, so he'd get a couple of bugs on him or whatever and he'd just be going, Is it on me? Is it on me? Is it on me?

Genuinely, for 15 minutes, that's what he does. It's hilarious. I shouldn't laugh. It'd be me one day. Oh, God. Right, well, let's hear some of our voice notes then. Big Brother just lives rent-free in my head, but absolute, the creme de la creme has to be

when Angie Bowie tells Tiffany Pollard that David is dead, meaning her husband, David Bowie, has died and she's been told while she's in the brick building house. But Tiffany Pollard believes that David Guest, who is in the house, has died. And it culminates in a whole load of drama that ends up with Darren Day and Daniela Westbrook peeling back a duvet off of David Guest's face while he's asleep to check if he's dead it's iconic big brother hands down absolute reality gold so glad it's back the other day on the internet i saw i re-watched the david's dead moment and it made me raw it makes me raw every single time jesus christ it's just it is iconic it is genius it is genius and you know what you couldn't write it you couldn't have written that

scene the producers must have been like this this is gold, this is gold. And then when they do go in and then they pull the thing and then Tiffany is just like literally just sobbing and wailing and like, oh, he's dead. And then when they pull the doobie back and they go, he's not dead, he's here. Oh, my God. It is absolutely classic.

I'm going to watch that later. Thank you so much for reminding me of that because it is a cracker. It really is. Oh, please, can we hear what the next listener's got to say? Because that was brilliant. Hi, girls. Loving the podcast. This is Rachel from Birmingham.

You're asking for memorable reality moments and it just has to be Rylan being told by Nicole Scherzinger that he's got through to the live shows on X Factor it just lives rent free in my head it is iconic he can't believe it he's sobbing ugly crying he's on his knees on the floor. He can't stand up. Wiping his makeup, wiping his tears on a Versace cushion in this big posh hotel. And it's just incredible. And then he has to go out and talk to Dermot then. And again, he's on the floor.

He just can't even stand up. Amazing. Just so brilliant. He clearly told himself he wasn't getting through um before he went in to get the news but it's just awesome and you look how far he's come now with his career and what a lovely man he is and you know the backlash he had at the time and it's just wonderful it's just wonderful. It's just joyful to watch. So that's my top reality memorable moment. Thank you. Bye. Well, can I just say something about Ryland?

A, that clip is amazing. And he always says, I think it's on his ex feed or his Instagram, I can't remember, but he always says, started off as a joke and still laughing. And I think out of everybody who has smashed their career, if you look at that clip and what he was like then and how desperately he wanted it, it's very, very rare because a lot of people

that are so desperate to want something usually end up being a bit of a knob. Whereas he is so genuine and is so good at what he does and how he has taken the step by step by step. His presenting skills are just unbelievable. And to look back at that moment to see how far he's come and how much he enjoyed that experience. And you know what I like? He never shuns away from his past, stuff he loved doing, the X Factor, all of those things he would talk about with great love and positivity.

And I think people just love him for that. And I'm a huge fan of his. Love him to bits. I absolutely love him. I think he's love him for that. And I'm a huge fan of his. Love him to bits. I absolutely love him. I think he's such a lovely man. And I think he is so good at what he does. And he is so talented. I mean, I agree with you.

You just, I mean, you see him in that clip and it is so hilarious. And I think he's still got his blonde hair in it, isn't he? He's got the long hair. It's hilarious. Brilliant. Oh, God, it's so funny. Because, I mean, you know, he must He's got the long hair. It's hilarious. Brilliant. Oh God, it's so funny because I mean, you know, he must have been built up so high and he genuinely didn't

think he was going through. I mean, you imagine all of that adrenaline and then you're sitting there opposite Nicole to start with and then when she gives you that news and then they've done the whole, we, you know, you are not, but then you might and all of that business. And I'm just, I love him and I'm so glad that he's got

to where he is now. Because, I mean, he's so brilliant and his presenting is amazing. It really, really is. He's never off the telly. Every channel you go on, he's there. I think good luck to you, Rylan. That's what I think. So, let's have another one. Hi, Nat and Jo. It's Sean here from Newcastle. Just want to say that I

absolutely love the podcast. I love listening to it. Such a big fan of both of you. But this is about reality TV, and I think my favourite reality TV moment has to be, oh, my God, Jackie. Yeah, murky. I mean, that was just absolutely brilliant.

And I can remember Jackie Stallone, I mean, God bless her, she did not have a clue what she'd let herself in for. I can remember asking, what time do we start shooting? But I just thought she was brilliant. Me and James did a panto one year with gareth gates and we all discovered that we loved big brother and we loved it when jackie

stallone went into big brother and i and it was our phrase of the panto i just remember hearing guys constantly just going yeah jerky and it's just all that we said all the time jerky yeah jerky brilliant i don't remember that one good oh god it was classic i mean she went in and then bridget is just like oh my god when she's revealed as her because it's her ex-mother-in-law is in there and um oh god and it's just it's just it's a nightmare for her an absolute nightmare jackie doesn't know what's going on and she's expecting everything to be done and oh god it's hard a nightmare for her, an absolute nightmare. Jackie doesn't know what's going on and she's expecting everything to be done and, oh, God, it's hard work for Bridget.

And it's just brilliant. It's just, it's classic Big Brother. Oh, what a programme. It really was clever, wasn't it? It was, it was. I don't think you'll ever get that back because no-one knew what it was. Do you know what I mean?

Like you said, people were going into it. It wasn't for a reason. It was an experiment. It was a television experiment. And even the celebrity ones, they didn't really know what they were getting themselves into. No, it wasn't to become famous. It was a social experiment, wasn't it?

I would love David Attenborough to do the voiceover for Big Brother. Can you imagine David Attenborough to do the voiceover for Big Brother. Can you imagine David Attenborough doing Day 36? Go on, you do it, because you're good at him. You're good at him. I can't remember how I do him now. You were so good. I can't, I haven't, I've lost my feel for him. Day 36.

Day 36. No, I can't do it. You sounded a bit like Joanna Lumley then. Do you think so? I've lost my, I've lost my thinking of him now because I haven't heard him narrate anything for ages. All right, well, we'll go back to it another time. But it is one of my favourite things you do, so could you get back on it, please?

Yeah, I'll practise my voice of him and then I'll do him again for you. Right, give us another voice note. Yeah, let's do that for me it has to be channel four's the circle the very end where the finalists were having a meal together and dan found out that alex was alex and not kate who he thought he'd been talking to. His face when Alex walked into the room and he was expecting a woman called Kate was just a picture, honestly. And that moment lives with me rent-free in my mind ever since.

Have you ever seen anything from The Circle? Never seen it. Oh, I saw one series of The Circle and I really got into it. So all these people, right, and they go and stay in different rooms in like this massive big apartment thing and then they basically talk to the screen

to a big circle on the TV screen and you can choose any identity you can be yourself or you could lie and you could pretend to be somebody else and then you have to type things in and then you all um communicate via the internet and it all comes up on a screen and everything and then i think you vote people out i can't remember that it comes down to like the last few well again that is a very good social experiment because of all the stuff that goes on on the internet so that's good i'd like to watch that i think you'd

enjoy the circle give it a go it's really good i'll have a little look at that yeah i wonder what other reality tv highlights our listeners have got should we listen to one more yes an iconic moment for me was on big brother when um suzy had just entered the house and she nominated Nikki Graham and Grace for elimination. And Nikki came into the diary room and had an absolute fit, a complete breakdown. And she was screaming and shouting and it was the wild arms. Who is she? Who is she? Where did you find her? And that has just stayed in my head forever since. I love the podcast. Keep up the good work.

Thanks. Bye. Amazing Nikki Graham. God rest her soul. We lost her a few years ago, but she was absolutely hilarious. I went camping with her, actually. We shared a tent.

Where did you go? We went to the Isle of Wight Festival and she was just an absolute bundle of joy. But what you saw on screen was her. She wasn't putting that on. She wasn't putting it on at all. And when you look back at those moments, she was amazing. Hilarious.

She was hilarious. She was just absolutely amazing. Is she? I'm trying to remember the other things she said. Yeah, what were the other things? She said something. She would talk and she'd be very pronunciated. And she said something.

I don't know if it was about a pig or a hog or something. I can't remember now. But if you look at her highlights, she was just amazing. Amazing lady. So funny. She was just amazing. amazing oh good old big brother let's hear another voice note hi girls sam here from perth australia um the thing that sticks out the most for me is a good few years back when it was i'm a celebrity and julian mKeith was on there and she had got not only all the spices in her knickers

in her panties or panty liner um but also then when she proceeded to pass out or faint that was one of the best things that I've ever seen and I still chuckle about it oh thanks so much she was terrible now she couldn't be in a film as a stuntwoman, could she, McKeith? Oh, my God. Do you remember her passing out? She just, she didn't, she reached a point,

she just didn't want to do it. You'll never, ever forget that. Never. I can't remember her hiding spices in her knickers. Oh, I do remember her hiding spices. I think she was hiding some salt in there and some spices and stuff.

If she'd have got them out of her pants and said, shall I season the food, would you have taken it out of her pants? Absolutely not. And I bet it played havoc with her pH level. I would have probably taken it. No, you wouldn't have. It probably did. Well, I'm assuming it was covered or in some cling film or something like that.

I mean, and so it wouldn't have been like bare spice, like spice to flesh. I'm assuming it would have been in some form of like foil or cling film. But I think at that point, I probably would have been desperate to have something to spice up the rice and stuff do you think so yes definitely I know I would because I'd be flipping starving in there if you had to one choice? Chili flakes. Easy for you. Yes. What about you? Salt.

Yeah, salt's a good one. You'd need a bit of salt, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. I love salt. Love a bit of salt. Yeah, I like salt. Just with the chili flakes.

I love chili flakes, but do I want them in my porridge? And also, chili flakes are really nice, but I think salt, you know, you're putting salt back into your body if you're not getting a lot, so I think it gives you more energy. Yes, but also, they all get constipated there, don't they? Because they've gone from, like, eating normal food

to just the rice and the beans and stuff, so they get bunged up. Shove a bit of chilli flakes in, your bum will explode. That is true. You have an arse like a Japanese flag. Honestly, the things we talk about, Jo, in these episodes,

I love these voice note episodes. Me too, they're my favourite. Well, that's it for another bonus episode of Off the Telly, What Shall We Watch? Thank you so much to all of you at home for sending in your voice notes. We really couldn't do this show without you. Now, for our next bonus ep, we've been thinking about what sort of theme we should have. Now, we've done your sort of classics like Crushes and Villains, so we thought we'd be a bit more specific about our next one.

You all know how much I love a good detective's coat because I am quite obsessed with it. We know you're obsessed. Listen, we're going to get our detective coats. All right. We're going to get the detective series made, Jo. All right. Mark my words. All right.

We're going to get the coats. I promise you. But we have chatted a lot about our favourite outfits and shows. So we wanted to hear from you guys about what your standout costumes are from your favourite shows or favourite characters. Can you hear Jo gasping? I already know mine. I already know mine.

I already know mine. You're not saying it now. Save it. Save it. It could be a costume from any type of show. Is it David Tennant's outfit as Doctor Who? Is it Mr Darcy's wet shirt in Pride and Prejudice? Rachel from Friends' famous haircut?

Let us know. Send us a voice note on WhatsApp. The number is 0306 784 704. Jo, all you're going to do is talk about people's hair because you're obsessed with people's hair. I don't know how you're going to cope with that episode. Jenna Coleman's hair, Rachel from Friends' hair, Ashley from

Colin from Accounts' hair. Oh my god, that's going to be an amazing one. I think it's going to be my favourite one yet, and I've got loads of things I want to say. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited about that. It's really good. Thank you again for listening. We've had a brilliant show.

We've so enjoyed ourselves and we're going to be back next Wednesday with more Off the Telly on BBC Sounds. Bye! Bye! Off the Telly is hosted by Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page. The producer is Georgia Keating. The commissioning editor is Rhian Roberts.

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