Off The Telly - Would you have dinner with a tarantula?

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page chat about all things on and off the telly. This week Nat and Jo catch up about the new series of I'm A Celeb, what they think of the second series of Bad Sisters and a new series starring Sophie Turner called Joan. Nat also gives Jo a taste of what her time was like filming The Bake Off Xmas special.What they can’t stop watching, what they definitely aren’t going to bother with, new releases and comforting classics – TV is timeless and no telly is out of bounds. As well as having a natter about what’s on TV, they share backstage goss from the world of telly, whilst also cracking up about the more humbling moments in their lives. Self-confessed TV addicts and stars of two of the biggest shows on our screens, EastEnders and Gavin and Stacey, Natalie and Joanna are the perfect companions to see what’s occurring on and off the telly. Timecodes for shows discussed this week are:29:33 - I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! on ITV1 and ITVX 28:46 - Bad Sisters Series 2 on Apple TV+ 34:04 - Joan on ITVXGet in touch by sending us a message or voice note via WhatsApp to 03306 784704.Hosts: Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page Producer: Georgia Keating Executive Producer: Richard Morris Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts Production Co-ordinator: Becky Carewe-Jeffries Sounds Editor: Arlie Adlington Music by MCassoOff The Telly is a BBC Studios Audio Production for BBC Sounds.

Just to say on our pod, there may be a few spoilers and a little bit of casual swearing. We don't want to offend. Jo, do you suffer from dry skin during the winter months? No, I don't really. Do you remember a programme called The British Empire? Yes. Do you remember The Crusty Man, Colin? Oh, my don't really. Do you remember a programme called The British Empire? Yes. Do you remember the crusty man, Colin?

Oh, my God, yes. That is who I am. Is it really? Well, you've made the mistake of wearing a black top today. Oh, my God, is it dandruff or are you crusting? I think it's psoriasis of the scalp all around my head. Oh, my God. But I get it every sort of change of season.

Yeah. I have ordered some shampoo, which is really meant to help. One of my makeup ladies told me today. But I do feel like coming from the British Empire. Oh, my God. Well, I've got to be honest. I'm looking at you and I can't see any of my flesh. It's only because I'm just shaking it.

I like Christmas, but I don't need a fucking snow scene on my shoulders. Well, it's the change in temperature, isn't it? Because the thing is, I don't get that right, but can you see my thumb? Can you see the chappage on my thumb, right? So on the bend, oh my God, I tell you what's flipping killing me. It cracks and it splits. Then it goes hard, right?

I know what you mean, colours. Yeah, and then I like it and I start biting on the hard skin and then I bite it off and i chew it and i like to swallow it and then it bleeds and then i wait for it to heal and then you do it again all over again yeah perfect crusty thumb crusty head yes we really are quite time maintenance and we really look after ourselves don't we yeah? Yeah, we really, really do. You said you've been cutting your own hair again. Yes, and you know what? I thought, oh, my God,

this is just like the circle of life or something. It's like the whole life cycle of kind of this podcast. Because when this first started, my hair was down here. Yeah. And I was having a good old chop at it myself. Then I ended up getting it cut in the hairdressers and I went from here all the way then up to here.'s right and it's grown like a small bit more and then I couldn't help myself in the bathroom today I started cutting it I've cut all around the back now and

I've just I've cut it short again that's really nice but then I looked at myself and I thought oh my god it's like I've come full circle because it was only the other day that I was cutting it myself and that was about like a year ago or something and now I've like gone all in a big loop and I've gone to hairdressers and like boom I'm slap bang I'm just cutting it myself well now it's the time of year where I just have to wear a hat because I've got a crusty scalp yeah and I like it that you're wearing your nice brown woolen one again I tell you I was a bit worried about wearing this um really woolen jumper today because I thought am I gonna get in and be freezing, be too hot? And then I thought about

the air con that we've got in here so I should level myself out. But I was a bit like, oh my God, and then I'm wearing a vest underneath and I thought, well, if I do get too hot, you can whip it off.

I'm just going to whip it off and I'm just going to sit in my vest. You could just sit in your bra with me. It doesn't matter. Well, I could. I could. I wouldn't mind that and I'm only short from my cure out.

Well, that's it. So they just think it was quite a nice top, wouldn't they? Yeah. Probably one of your mum's that you've stolen again. I was't mind that. And I'm only short from my cure-out. Well, that's it. So they just think it was quite a nice top, wouldn't they? Yeah. Probably one of your mums that you've stolen again. I was wearing her T-shirt that I wore on the podcast the other day. I did too. But yeah, but I took it off and I've just got my...

I've got my vest, but I am wearing James's belt. That's a nice colour. Olive green. Yeah. Do you know where he got it from? Go on. Decathlon. Really?

Yes. green yeah do you know where he got it from go on decathlon really yes he's reached that middle age stage where he goes shopping in decathlon for clothes belts some trousers some t-shirts he came back the other day I'm not even joking definite shorts right he went looking for a tent he came back with some like shorts t-shirt uh this color belt navy belt. He came back with some, like, shorts, T-shirt, this colour belt, navy belt. He came back. It was like he kitted himself out in wardrobe. And I was just like, Jesus Christ.

Where's the tent? Yeah, he had the tent as well. Oh, he did? He had the tent. But, like, I didn't know that you could actually, you know, properly outfit yourself. No, it's a bit stressful in there. Everything's a bit higgledy-piggledy.

It is, it is. It's not for me to shop in there. You go, right, what do you need? Hockey stick? Bang. In. Out. I can't walk round it. I made the mistake of going in and picking up about seven what are they called? Wet suits to try on. And I actually went into the changing room, which was just a flipping nightmare, to try on about seven different wet

suits. And in the end, I just like started packing and just went and I just bought them all all took them back home and then thought right okay i'm just gonna have to take them back find one that fits and take it back did you yeah i did did you take them back i did i did okay but james and james was really surprised because we've already had a row this morning because i bought um a light to go um above the dining room table. So I bought a light and it's the wrong light. I don't know why, but I've suddenly gone through a phase of stuff which is like cage-like and a bit iron and metal-y and stuff with lights. Yeah.

A bit like the crystal maze level. Yes, yes. But nothing else in the house is like that. Everything is quite like bohemian or wooden. So I've been buying these lights and James was holding them up going, well, I just feel a bit like I'm in some sort of torture chamber or sex dungeon or castle.

I don't understand why you're doing this. So the lights now have been boxed back up and they've got to be taken back to the shop. Maybe it's a sign for him. Maybe. Maybe you're trying to create your sex dungeon. Maybe I am. Maybe it's taken me this long

after our conversation about sex dungeons to discover what my sex dungeon would be like. The haircutting's back. So are the thoughts. But we had a full-on argument because I said, we'll just put the light in the garage, right, until we can go to the shop and take it back. And he said, no, I'm leaving it in the house. And bear in mind now, the box is like huge. I'm leaving it in the garage right until we can go to the shop and take it back and he said no i'm

leaving it in the house and bear in mind now the box is like huge yeah i'm leaving it in the house because if it goes into the garage it's never going to come out again and i was like of course it's going to come out i will take it out because i'm going to take it back to the shop and he was because in his head he'd put it in the garage and forget about it i would just assume then that i would i would do that if it went in the garage, I'd be gone. No, because I'd be like, right, okay, we've got to take the light back. But he was adamant. He's got this bloody big cardboard box now in the middle of the hall.

When do you think you're going to get it back? Oh, God knows. There you go. What do you think? Wynne's gone. Wynne's left strictly. Oh, I'm really sorry for you and sorry for Wynne. He was brilliant.

He had such a good time. He was an entertainer. He was, wasn't he? He was really good fun. When I was watching him on Saturday, I couldn't stop laughing at him. When I was watching him on the telly, because they all came,

he was doing the Charleston, they all came out kicking legs as if it was the can-can and then when he came out on that little hobby horse, I was laughing. And then he was swinging Katya around, like literally everywhere.

And then they like finished the dance and then it all sort of started back up again, which just made me laugh. And then when he was holding her and then he rolled her down his body, you could see that he was full on singing at the same time. Oh no, he loves to sing songs. And I was like, oh my God, this is amazing.

And just so, so funny. He was brilliant. I thought, you oh, my God, this is amazing. And just so, so funny. He was brilliant. I thought, you know, what a great contestant. What a brilliant, and it's a brilliant show to do. Yeah. So I hope he's really loved it. He seems to have loved it. Yes.

Oh, my God, he had a whale of a time. But I do think Pete should have gone before him. Oh, my God, I do as well. I'm just talking now about dancing. I mean, I'm not a professional dancer, but Pete knows that. Did you see Pete's face? Bless his heart, he genuinely could not believe that he was still in. And that isn't made up.

You can tell he is almost embarrassed to still be in it. Yeah. But, I mean, that dance, it wasn't as good as his one, like, last weekend. I mean, you know, that dance, I don't think it was very good. No, bless him. And I think he'd agree with us. Yeah, yeah. But he's obviously got a wonderful fan base

and a few people may have admired the pink trousers. Well, yes. Jesus Christ, they were tight, weren't they? I mean, my God. I bet he was hot to you. Yeah, I think he probably was. I bet he was absolutely baking. God, imagine getting them off afterwards.

Getting them on, but a bit of talc and you'd be fine. Yeah. Getting them off afterwards, after sweating and wearing them all night long. Oh, my God. I bet they stank. I bet they did. I bet they smelled a bit like my onesie. Oh, yeah.

Has that had a wash yet? No. No. It just hasn't. No. No. Sherry Murphy wore a onesie when I did the Christmas bake-off. Oh, my God, did she?

Yeah. Oh, my God, really? A Christmas onesie. Jesus. Oh, it might have been a top and bottoms. I can't quite remember. I bet she was hot, because it's hot in the kitchen. It is warm, but, no, it can get quite chilly in the tent.

Can it? Yeah, have you been in there yet? No, never. Yeah, it can get quite chilly in the tent. Can it? Yeah, have you been in there yet? No, never. Yeah, it can get quite chilly in there. Yeah? But yeah, that was announced this week, last week. Well, yeah, because as you were saying that then, I was kind of like, oh my God,

I can't believe she's actually talking about this because I don't know if we're allowed to talk about it. Why is she talking about it? So I was like, I can't actually talk about it too much because then I started thinking, is she talking about when she's gone on and like guested talk about it too much because then I started thinking is she talking about when she's gone on and like guested

years ago or something and then as you were getting to the end of that in my head I suddenly remember that I actually have seen that the announcement

has come out oh my god you're doing the Christmas bake off oh my god are you excited well it's done isn't it well I know but are you excited Oh, my God. Are you excited? Well, it's done, isn't it? Well, I know, but are you excited?

Were you excited doing it? Yes. Yeah. It was amazing. Was it? Did you feel Christmassy? It's just like a cheese dream. Mm-hmm.

Because you're in a place where you watch all the time. Yeah. So you feel like this is it. God, yeah. Even though I'm on the telly. Yes. It's like you see it. It's just very different.

You know. It's so famous and it's so like you're in another world. And suddenly Noel's talking to you and Prue's chatting away. You think, this is, it's like being in Madame Tussauds and it's come alive. Yeah. What was Prue like? Was she scary? Not at all. Really? Yeah. What was Prue like? Was she scary? Not at all.

Really? No. What was Paul Hollywood like? Lovely. Was he? Yeah. Has he got glinting eyes? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Is he a silver... Well, a white fox, really. Yeah. They were all very good. Oh, my God. Noel and Alison are brilliant. Were you nervous?

Like, when it came down to it, you know, and you were thinking, oh, I want to enjoy it, I want to do my best, whatever. No, do you know, I wasn't nervous about it. Yeah. I just really wanted to... I just wanted to do the best I could. Yes.

So it wasn't so much nerves, because I don't feel like it's competition. It's all for a charity. Yeah. It's amazing, you know. But is it scary when you are like, oh, my God, you know, and then suddenly they go, right, you know... When they say, yeah, you've got half an hour. I know. And you're thinking you are like oh my god you know and then suddenly they go right you know when they say yeah you've got

half an hour I know and you're saying oh my god you know how have eight and a half hours passed

no we're not that many but you know when you do kind of the showstopper thing you think you've got hours and hours it feels like

20 minutes were you pleased with your showstopper I know you can't really say but did it turn out the way you thought it would turn out? No.

But I was pleased anyway. Yeah. All I'm going to say it was for charity. I can't wait. I can't wait to see you on it. But it was brilliant. I got to see my Dean Gaffney gaffers and

Sonia and Robbie back together again. Which is always a real treat. People have really said, oh the Jackson'sia and Robbie back together again which is always a real treat people have really said oh the Jacksons brother and sister back together and he is

absolutely he's comedy gold oh is he he's comedy gold I think Dean is wasted he should have his own show

where we follow his life oh my god is he really fairly honest he's hilarious he's brilliant has he cucked before

is he a good cuck I can't say you're going to have to watch it. OK. But it's good fun. Really good fun. Oh, my God, I can't wait to see him. I can't wait. Because you're normally so, like, cool and so, like, you seem really together. Well, also, it was Christmas Bake Off. And you know how much I like Christmas.

So it was a dream come true, which I know sounds really cheesy, but you just say, I can't believe it's all done up for Christmas. Yes. The whole tent is Christmassy. Did it? Did you feel Christmassy? Did it look Christmassy? Oh, my God.

Well, it's not long now that I've started my Christmas shopping. I put a tree up. Oh, but this is another thing, right? I feel like I've not seen you for so long, right? Because the last time we spoke, i think i was talking about the holiday and my other favorite film what's the other one last christmas and and i think you said something along the lines of oh my god don't you think it's a bit early or you know you're going a bit mad and you know and then i get home and i look on instagram and i'm, she's decorated her fucking front door.

What's the actual fuck? It is true. I mean, you've gone from slagging me off. No, I wasn't slagging you off. To the next morning, you've got a bloody decorated front door. Well, it wasn't the next morning, was it? It was the next. I think it was the next morning.

I'm not even joking. It was a space of about like a night or one day. I was in shock. But you said you were watching Christmas films before bonfire night. Yeah, I was. I was. And I think that's a bit early. But our last episode, you literally were saying, oh, my God, I think, you know, you're still starting a bit or whatever.

Goes back home, decorating the front door. Well, I did. The girls did it for me. It looks nice. It looks lovely. It's lovely, isn't it? It's a little bit retro. Oh, yes, it's nice.

I like all the baubles and everything. And the big wreaths on the doors. They're lovely, aren't they? Really, really nice. So when you go inside, have you decorated inside? Not yet. But I've put them on the lounge tree. So you actually have a Christmas tree app?

Yes. It's not December. I know, but it's timing. It's timing. Why have you put a tree app? Because I haven't got enough hours in the day. And I thought if I do the big one that takes ages, get that up first. Did the girls do it or did you do it?

Was it like a family done one or was it like a, you know? It's me and Joni. Joni helps me. Oh my God. You've put your bloody Christmas tree up in November. One of them, yeah. But it's not even the end of November. I know. But there's a lot to get through and I haven't got a full weekend to do all of it like I usually do.

So I've got to do it in bits and pieces. So have you started feeling Christmassy now? Yeah. I am, but I am very, I just feel a bit too busy. I'm a bit stressed about it all. Yeah. But that's fine. I'll get there.

Oh my God. Well, you've got enough time to get there. You've got about a month and a half. Well, it's not that long. Is it five weeks? Yeah. Oh my God. Have you started shopping yet?

No. I have. I've got some bits and bobs and I've actually started wrapping some things as well oh I don't like you anymore yeah I've just I was quite pleased I've wrapped you know quite a few things that's very good yeah I thought I'm gonna get everything wrapped by the end of November because I just want to enjoy myself no that's really good yeah that's not happening for me it might do who knows you see I don't like internet shopping I don't like it I feel I feel it impersonal yes i like to go around a shop and go oh that'd be nice for joe yeah oh that'll be good you know what i mean yes yeah i'm a bit old

like that yeah i i just like doing the internet shopping now because i'm just like right get it all done get it all done but i did pop out and go around the shops the other day and picked up some nice bits and bobs and everything and then after a while I thought oh stuff this I've had enough now just want to go back home well at least you've done some yeah it's really good yeah um shall we see what our listeners are saying yes let's see we've got a voice note here from a listener specifically for you joe oh god have a little listen to this hello nat and joe it's emma here from west sussex and i'm just leaving you a message to say joanna back in the early 2000s my hair is very very thick and i was having my hair thinned out and cut short to look like yours it's still very thick and i still have to have it thinned out

i love your hair i think it's gorgeous so stop complaining about your hair being too thin because your hair is perfect anyway i love the podcast and i will keep on listening and stop worrying about your hair oh my god that's so lovely there you go she had her hair thinned out there you look like mine oh my god that's so sweet that is something you needed to hear because you are. To look like mine. Oh, my God, that's so sweet. That is something you needed to hear because you are obsessed with your hair not being nice and it is nice. Oh, my God, that's so sweet. That's lovely. Really nice.

Thank you for thinning out your hair and cutting it off to look like mine. That's really nice. Bless her. Oh, God, we've actually got a voice note here for you, Nat, as well. Oh. Listen to it. Hi, Nat and Jo, this is Sean from Newcastle. Massive fan of the pod.

Love it. Keep it up. I was actually wondering, Natalie, if you could settle a debate between me and my friend. So we were both big fans of the Morgana Robinson show. Obviously the most famous sketch was her being you, Natalie Cassidy, I'm just doing this now. I can distinctly remember, I'm sure you were on Celebrity Big Brother, a bit on the side or something, but I can remember you coming out of a caravan and saying, I'm Natalie Cassidy, I'm just doing this now.

So you are doing, you are yourself being the piss-take version of yourself. He says this never happened, and I'm sure it did, because I remember thinking, I've got so much admiration for her that she just finds it funny and obviously isn't offended. Can you please confirm if that happened or not? Because I've got a tenner line on this. Thank you. Sean, I can't remember, mate.

What I can tell you is absolutely for sure I do it all the time and I find it hilarious. So I probably did do that. And I do it all the time and I find it hilarious. So I probably did do that. And I do it all the time. I do it all the time. But what was that like? You know, when she did that and that you, and is it, was it just mental?

Because it was like to be that well known. Yeah. That someone does like an impression of your character and you and, you know. I mean, is that insane? Because you kind of, like, could be that well-known. It's just a complete honour. Because I do think once that happens to you, you can go,

I'm famous, actually. Yeah. Which I don't really care about, but you go, that makes you a bit famous, that. It does, because it's, like, because it's mad. But she did do some absolutely brilliant things. Yeah. That makes you a bit famous, that. It does, because it's like, because it's mad. But she did do some absolutely brilliant things. Yeah. Because it was whilst sort of, you know, I wasn't in EastEnders,

so her sketch was what was Natalie doing? Yeah. So she'd do one where it's like, I'm just in Loughnair going through my biro seeing if my pens work. Oh, my God. You do a really good impression of an impression of you. Thank you very much. Thank you. But, yes, Sean, I love her and I think she's brilliant.

God. I really think she's great. She is good-minded, isn't she? We decided to dip into three shows this week. I'm a Celeb's Back on ITV. We've also been watching the new series of Bad Sisters on Apple TV Plus and a new series with Sophie Turner on ITVX called Joan.

Ooh, what should we start with? I'm a Celebrity. Get me out of here! I'm a Celebrity is back. Yes. Started on Sunday. Line-up is good, isn't it? Oh my God, it is really good. Colleen Rooney. I mean, she doesn't need to do it she

doesn't need the money she doesn't need the fame she doesn't need that well these are my assumptions well i mean she's doing it she's going to be so interesting to like because i've never ever listened to her being interviewed or anything at all i don't know what she sounds like ever so pretty she is isn't she yeah and she's coming across lovely. Well, she is. She seems so nice. It's going to be really nice kind of, you know, like getting to know her

and seeing what she's like. GK Barry is hilarious. I hadn't heard of her before, but then when I saw her, I thought, oh my God, I know who you are. Well, she's a real massive, a friend of mine, Elliot,

a dear friend of mine. He has said to me for ages, GK Barry, he loves GK Barry. GK Barry. I said, who's GK Barry? Whereas it's just a Gen Z, you know, it's a different audience and I'm in my 40s. Yeah. And I started following her and then she got this.

I was like, Elliot, you were bang on about her popularity. So does she do a podcast? She does. And she's just an internet sensation. She does loads of social media, you know, loads of stuff. She's an influencer, a proper influencer. But the thing she comes out with, just the way she talks, she's just really funny.

She's going to be a hun. Oh, she will, won't she? Yeah, massive. I was watching when the clip came up and it was showing the different people. And, you know, you've got to do your move of some of them do that, some people do whatever. And then she sort of and then did like a hiss when she did it

and I just thought oh my god she just looks really good she's just you know you can just see but she has some real one liners you know very good

very good who else is there now well Barry McGuigan bless his little heart oh yes he needs to wear some glasses because he can't well Sunday's trial

bless him he couldn't read any of the codes i felt really sorry for him he was not fazed by a snake in the slightest yeah yeah there were snakes down the pants of the mcfly guy dummy absolutely horrendous i mean i watched that and i go i could not do that show could you do the show um i couldn't and the thing is i why could you not do it spiders spiders and eating balls i mean now let's be honest i'm gonna be honest with you i don't think the eating of balls would faze you at all the thing right i would like to do the show right to do jumping

out of a plane yeah i do handstands off off a cliff all sorts of you know kind of when they have a silver ladder oh I tell you what and they go it's a hundred foot over the cliff and there's like a gap

and oh yeah if there was a ladder going all the way out I would be able to walk all the way out but there was that one trial that they did ages ago

and they were on the top of like this with Carol Vorderman and they were on the top of this massive big thing she's fucking amazing as well I love Carol Vorderman yeah

and they had like this long like ladder thing which went out but there were huge gaps on it and it was just a sheer drop on the top of a skyscraper. I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.

And they had to like jump over. I wouldn't have wanted to do that but I could jump out of a plane. I could do all of that. The thing which I wouldn't want to do is drink blended fish eyeballs or they take the thing off and it's a big tarantula

which you've got to eat. I wouldn't want to eat anything and I wouldn't want to do anything with a spider if i had to be in there and i had to sit with a spider and just have a meal with it and chat to it oh god would it move it would be chatting to you eating and just chatting away oh do you know what a big one but i don't think i could right oh because if there was a tarantula there I have been this close to like a proper tarantula before, like a tarantula. And it was, well, it started off on the other side of the table, right?

And it just, it saw me. Was she having dinner with it? No. Oh. But it was just like, it just walked all the way and it kept going. And it just made a beeline for me. Yeah. And there was no way that I could just sit and eat a meal.

You couldn't. And talk to it and look at it. To such an extent. What if it fed you some omelettes? Oh, God, no. That'd just be awful, right? It's got to such a point, right, that Noah has got these two toy spiders, right, and they're that big.

Oh, didn't you say about this? Yeah, well, Bo's still throwing, did I say that Bo's throwing them at me, right? He's got a green one and a black one, right? Oh, bless him. And Bo walks up to me and she's got it in her hand and she likes placing it on my face or on my head or on my shoulder and i start freaking out um and going oh no no and i'm trying to do it nice and then she's obviously picking up on that and laughing and then she stands on the

other side of the room and she throws it at me and oh she throws them yeah oh no no no the boys do it as well they all do it to me. And then Eva also used to have that black furry, cuddly spider. And we'd have to sit in bed and she'd say, oh, mummy, I want spider in between us. And it was massive with a red dot on its back. Well, I say, I say I could do it.

Never say never to anything. Yeah. I've done Big Bruv. You know, I am very, I'm not sure I have a pound note. Yes, yes. I'm not sure I have a pound note. I like to earn money. Yeah. Very, very honest. And it would be good fun. And I think, do you know pound note. Yes, yes. I'm not shy of a pound note. I like to earn money. Yeah.

Very, very honest. And it would be good fun. And I think, do you know what? It would be good. And then I lay in the height of summer in bed. Yeah, yeah. And one blue bottle comes in. And my anger towards it.

And the panic of one fly doing this. Please get it out. And then I think, what am I talking about? Yeah. I could never go on that programme. Do you, but if you were there.

Because of the rage, I feel, for one fly. But do you think you would be able to, say, I say you were buried alive, and there were like rats coming in, and do you think you'd be able to do all of that?

I think, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I think I'd be the first celebrity to have a heart attack and die on the television. Oh my God, do you think you'd just,. I think I'd be the first celebrity to have a heart attack and die on the television. Oh, my God. Do you think you'd shit yourself?

I really think I'd go in... What would you be like with spiders? Terrible, terrible. There was a spider the other day in the lounge because it's obviously been harvest season, so all the fields get cut and they come alive a bit, don't they? Yeah. And it was quite big.

It wasn't... But I had to put a pint glass over it. I couldn't move it. Yeah. That stayed there until Mark got home and then he took it outside. Yeah.

And I thought, how pathetic. God. All of these scenarios I think of the show. What would you be like with the eating challenges? I think the eating

would be my easiest. So if there was a basket and you looked at it off and there's a big, massive fish eyeball because you pick it up and just go up. I think that eating would be terrible, but my easiest thing to do.

Oh, my God. I couldn't do any climbing out on cliffs. I can't. Honestly, my legs would just freeze. I would not be able to do it. Really? I think I could jump out of a plane. Yeah.

And I think, well, I've scuba dived before and loved that. So depth in the water is okay. I wouldn't worry about being buried alive and all of that sort of stuff because I'd know that they're not going to leave me there and that would be fine. It would just be if there was stuff in there and there were spiders on the walls. But have you ever opened a bin in the summer and there's maggots in there? I'd be fine with that. That wouldn't bother me.

But mind you, I wouldn't like to have a maggot in my hand. So if there was one on my head. But I'm saying if there's 15 million falling all over you. I don't think I'd like that. Within a coffin, what do you think? I think we forget we're watching it. Yeah. And it is hugely entertaining.

And I love the show. I mean. Yeah. Get it in your bag. Yeah. Get it on the telly. I love it. Right.

I really do. But I think we forget the ordeal they go through. Yeah. For our entertainment. Yeah. And that's why they get a lot longer. Yeah. I couldn't eat the stuff and I couldn't hold a spider in my mouth

and I couldn't, I just couldn't hold a spider full stop. But I like the show. I'm enjoying the show. And throughout this season of I'm a Celeb, if the kids have got their school bags, I can't help it. And I'm like, have you got your homework? Get it in your bag! And they're like, Mum.

And I'm not joking. On the first episode, I said it for the first time, get it in your bag. And Eliza looks over and I'm like, yes! It's back! Oh, my God. I love Ant and Dec doing it, though, as well. They're brilliant.

As soon as they just start back, they're just brilliant. Eliza says, Mum, when they're not doing it anymore, what do you think will happen to it? And I said, when they're not doing it anymore, darling, I said, television won't be here anymore. Yeah. She said, yes, it will. I went not in the same capacity.

Yeah. God. You couldn't have I'm a Celeb without them. Without them. You couldn't. It doesn't work. It doesn't capacity. Yeah. God. You don't know if I'm a celeb without them. Without them, you couldn't. Doesn't work. You just couldn't. Doesn't work. No.

Anyway, what else have we been watching? Oh, I tell you what I have been watching. Oh, go on. Which isn't anything that we were supposed to be watching. Okay, okay. I have just finished the whole of the first series of Taskmaster. So from somebody who's never, ever seen it before until you told me about it and then we reviewed it,

I've now gone all the way back to the first ever series and I've just watched all of it. And it's brilliant. So we're on to series two now. Isn't it great? Oh my God, it's so good. What about Tree Wizard? Do you remember Tree Wizard with Ramesh?

Tree Wizard. No, I mean, I haven't. That was going, we're back going back quite a few years now joe it must be so many years ago the thing that i love about it is you do look back and you watch it and whoever's been on there yeah smash the life out of the comedy world it's quite incredible and quite amazing um but yeah it's absolutely brilliant good. It's absolutely fantastic. So yeah, I am fully into that. But then also, the second season of Bad Sisters has started

on Apple TV. I've only had a chance to watch one. Yes. I need to be honest with you. Mm-hmm. I love Bad Sisters.

Yeah. I thought it was amazing. Yeah. And we put it on and I still think it's great. But it's not the same, is it? I know, I feel the same. I'm missing the prick, JP.

I know what you mean. I'm missing him. I'm missing him. He was so awful. So awful. So shockingly passive aggressive and his snipes. Oh my God, that first series was just so incredible. I think, I mean, but when the music come on and the titles,

the music choices for that, I need to actually download them. I need to go on and find them. It's so witchy. It's amazing. It's just fantastic. And all the girls are obviously brilliant. And we have a new addition. Oh, Fiona Shaw.

Because I've seen, I'm halfway through the second episode. Tell me, I don't mind. is obviously brilliant and we have a new addition. Oh, Fiona Shaw. Isn't she brilliant? Because I've seen, I'm halfway through the second episode. Tell me, I don't mind. Oh my God, she's fucking mad. What does she do in the second episode? Oh my God. Because she's obviously very,

for the church, obviously not, she's obviously a psycho. Yes. But you know, you've got for the church, for the church. Yeah.

And at the beginning you're doing all the, you look guilty, are you guilty? Yes. With the old Roger next door. But then also when we first meet her down at the horses, she's all cracking gags and all one of the girls

and really funny and whatever. And then from that, she goes then to this, you know, all for the church and really quite serious. She's going to start stalking Gracie. She's obsessed with her. The first job that I ever did after leaving drama school was with Fiona Shaw. Oh, wow. Yeah yeah I left drama school early to go and work at the National Theatre because they were doing the prime of Miss Jean Brodie and so it was just it was Fiona Shaw who was Jean Brodie and she was

just mesmerizing she was just even then just like just magical and mesmerizing and there were all these like 21 year old you know young girls and we were all playing schoolgirls. Yeah. And in real life, we were all, you know, following her. She used to go jogging along the South Bank halfway through rehearsals. And we'd be, like, jogging behind her... What a job.

...and trying to, you know, keep up. And, oh, my God, she was just amazing. Oh, how incredible. She was just, like, sweeping and just... She was just sort of wild and abandoned and she didn't... You know, like, for a first job, it was amazing watching such a strong woman... Yeah. ..just be so abandoned and not worry about what people thought

and she'd try out loads of different things and everything in the rehearsals. And, oh, my God, it was just amazing. I was 21. It was my first job at the National. That is incredible. What a first job. It was just... Oh, my God, it was so exciting. All of us just running around being schoolgirls. God, it was fun. It's almost a disappointment because we know everything that's happened.

Yeah. I want to be able to put it on and not know it yet and feel that joy that I had from the first one. Yeah, I know what you mean. But I don't think you can ever get that when you've, you know, if you love something and it's new and fresh. Yeah. Whereas now you go, oh it's new and fresh. Yeah. Whereas now you go, oh, yeah, then, then.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And as much as I'm enjoying it, you don't go, oh, yeah, look at her and oh, that's brilliant. Yeah. But maybe that will come through the episodes. It's got to, isn't it? Because, I mean, JP in the first one was so horrible, wasn't he? And he was such a horrible character.

And Fiona Shaw's obviously going to start getting that, isn't she? know what you mean i just missed the first series so much things can only get better sharon horgan's a genius we don't stop talking about i do anyway what do you think is going to happen then so oh my god and you won't have seen now then because i don't want to do a spoiler on you because you won't have seen what oh god you won't know the end of episode two no you can't do that to me i can't i can't no you're gonna have to leave it i can't but for anyone who hasn't seen bad sisters please go and watch series one and then crack on with series two yeah i love the energy of all the sisters together you know from the first series as well you know just like that sisterhood and

women together. Women together. And the energy. It's just brilliant. I just love it. Really good. And you can catch all of Bad Sisters on Apple TV. Or is it Apple TV Plus now?

Why have they added a plus? I'm not sure. Maybe there's just more on it now. Apple TV, Apple TV Plus. But it's well worth a watch. It really is. It's really, really good. I love it also you can catch

I'm a Celeb on ITV and ITVX for the next few weeks so enjoy how many weeks does it go for? right up to Christmas

isn't it? well not up to but it's kind of about 7-10 days before Christmas it goes yeah 3 weeks it is I'm sure it is

and when does Strictly finish? is that just before Christmas? yeah or when they're announcing the people aren't they who are in the Strictly finish is that just before Christmas yeah or when they're announcing the people aren't they who are in the Strictly Christmas

Josh Whittacombe is in there oh yes did you know he was doing it no and I text him and I said what is going on yes

I'm very excited oh my god he's going to be brilliant I can't wait to watch him can he dance I don't know I've just on the first series of Taskmaster,

he wins it. And he stood up, and then Greg Davis stood up next to him. And it was just like, I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before. It was literally like he was a child and Greg was this teacher. It was mad.

Mad. Madness. Oh my gosh, the other one that we were watching this week was Joan. And that's on ITVX. And we actually had a listener recommend this show last week. And I started watching it, right, because Sophie Turner, she's just, I mean, it started.

And, you know, the first shot where you see she's sitting at this dressing table and the music comes in, it's set in the 80s, the music's amazing all the way through it. The camera goes to her, she looks incredible. She's got this the 80s the music's amazing all the way through it the camera goes to her she looks incredible she's got this fab 80s hair she looks amazing I thought oh my god the music the costume the makeup yeah it's amazing and then she chats on the phone in this really good American accent sounds amazing then she drops her ring and then she goes straight into like a cockney sort of accent oh my god she sounds great and I've never watched Game of Thrones so I've never ever really seen her in anything and it started's like, oh my God, she sounds great. And I've never watched Game of Thrones, so I've never ever really

seen her in anything. And it started, and I thought, oh my God, she's really, really good. And I thought it was good, but I've only got as far as when the men have broken in.

Oh, fine. They threatened her with a gun. Oh, okay. Because I'd already switched it off once before that because I just thought, oh God, I just don't think I can take this.

I feel so sorry for a daughter. And it's all so hard. Well, it's very, very, very interesting you say that. Yeah. Because I really like it. I've got a friend in it. I worked with Kirsty, Jane Curtis.

Yes. Who plays her sister. So a big shout out to her because she's absolutely brilliant. But she played a part in EastEnders a little while ago. Really, really dark, you know. Yeah. Hard part and she was amazing. I really like the premise of it. I really the street i like the hairdressers like you say the fashion and all of

that i couldn't watch anymore yeah i watched one and a half yeah and it was too much for me and i think that's i don't the little girl was so Joanie's age. Yeah. I really, it really broke my heart. And I thought, actually, I can go on with stuff. Yeah. And get over it. And I thought, whether it's me, I just wasn't in the mood. And I thought, it's upsetting me too much. Yeah.

I didn't want it. And then she had to put her into foster care. And she went out and do stuff. And she was all for her daughter. But she then visited the daughter. She visits the daughter later on. And she has to leave her daughter but she then visited the daughter she visits the daughter later on and she has to leave her and the daughter's crying the little girl i think the little girl was so good yeah i thought i've got to turn this off because it's too real yeah it's

like watching a home video yeah but i really think it's good and maybe when i'm in a different kind of mood maybe yeah maybe not too hormonal there's no full moon or something maybe i could sit there hardened and love it but it was a bit too emotional for me and a little bit down and i just wasn't in the mood for it and i was kind of like oh i can't do this i can't do this i kind of like the fact it's done that to us because in a way i think yes i think the colors were quite draining yeah some of the color palette they used it kind of had that melancholy and I think it was really clever and I think that's what they want to do to us. Yeah, but I was watching it and I started getting really upset and then I started, like, spiralling.

I ended up phoning James and going, Oh, my God, am I a good mother? Because I'm going out to work, I'm working now and, you know, I just want to be home with the kids and I should just be at home with the kids. And am I a rubbish mother? And he was like, for God's sake, you're just going to work

and you're with the kids all the bloody time. I think courtesy of the little girl. Yeah. She was absolutely incredible, little child actress. But yeah, Sophie Turner seemed great. Yeah, I mean, she was so good. Kirstie was amazing. Maybe I'm biased, but I thought she was brilliant as a sister.

Really, really good. And you can watch all of that on ITVX as well. So we've got a few more voice notes now. We've got a voice note from a listener about you mentioning Home Alone last week. Oh, yeah. I just heard you talking about Home Alone and how is Kevin's dad affording to have that house and take everyone away. Ladies, ladies, if you watch Home Alone,

you will see that the only person that ever gets their wallet out is Kevin's mum. She's got a sharp bob, she's got some tailored-ass trousers on her and she is clearly the breadwinner. So we don't need to be worrying about how Kevin's dad's affording everything. I reckon Kevin's mum is all over that. Her job, her jewellery, she's always the only person when they're paying for pizza, paying for flights, trying to bargain with people to get on the coaches and planes

to get back to Kevin. When they're paying for the bill at the hotel, always Kevin's mum. She's right. Yep, she is. I watched Home Alone 2 yesterday. Did you? Yeah, and it was just brilliant. Just brilliant.

Was she banging out the money there as well? Yep, yep, she was. She was pretty well dressed. She was. Very in control. I read somewhere that she was only about 32 or 35. I know, I know. It's one of the memes, isn't it?

Yeah, and she just looks so grown up. When you watch it as a child, you think she's the oldest woman in the world and now we're 10 years older than her. I mean, that the memes, isn't it? When you watch it as a child, you think she's the oldest woman in the world and now we're 10 years older than her. I mean, that's mad, isn't it? Very. I still think she feels far more grown up than me. Yeah. Or you.

Definitely. This is a voice note from Louise about our Halloween special from a couple of weeks ago. Have a listen to this. Just listen to your spooky special, which was absolutely fantastic. Spooky is massive in our house. My other half is a paranormal investigator

who organises ghost hunts. All our kids love Halloween and my eldest daughter was born on Halloween, so we are big into spooky. I just wanted to say, I know that the spooky special's gone now but the program that absolutely terrified me as a child was something called Ghostwatch um I think it was on like in the early 90s I was probably about 9 10 um and it was hosted by Sarah

Green and it was like a real life um ghost hunt that they did in a person's house on telly. It was obviously all scripted, but you didn't know that at the time. And it was like this girl who was possessed. It was absolutely terrifying and it traumatised me. Bearing in mind, I've seen a million ghost and horror films and I love them. This was absolutely terrifying. I don't know if anyone else remembers it, but I definitely couldn't watch it now as an adult well that was a kid's thing no it was like an adult thing and it was ghost watch and Yvette Fielding um presented it as well but this one Sarah Green was doing an episode where they were walking into like this haunted house and stuff and all the lights were off and like oh can you hear this and it was when back ages ago

when the audience and all of us were so much more naive and innocent and hadn't seen half of the stuff that we've seen on telly. And people didn't know that it was, you know, just like, that it wasn't real. And there were so many complaints and so many people phoning in, shitting themselves, just going,

oh my God, oh my God, thinking that it was really real. And it wasn't real, you know, but it was, yeah, it was really, really good, Ghostwatch. I loved Sarah Green. I know, she was so good, wasn't she? Gordon the G but it was really, really good, Ghostwatch. I loved Sarah Green. I know, she was so good, wasn't she? Gordon the Gopher. Oh, my God.

Loved it. I mean, there isn't really any Saturday or Sunday stuff like that now, is there? Not anymore, no. That's what you'd like literally, you know, you'd sit there or you'd watch T4 or, you know. Yeah. I never really watched T4. And what was it called? Not the stock cupboard, what was it called? The broom cupboard.

The broom cupboard. The broom cupboard. And to Peter's. Yeah. One of the best live television presenters on the television, may I add. Oh, my God. He's so good. I don't know why he doesn't do my ads. Don't get it.

Well, he's very rich, isn't he? Yes. He's got a lot of fingers in a lot of pies, Andy. He has. And you go, why are you just doing the holiday things with a little bit? You know why? He likes to keep his hand in, but he doesn't need it. Yeah.

But he should do loads more. He should, because he's amazing. He's brilliant at it. Yeah. But he should do loads more. He should, because he's amazing. He's brilliant at it. Yeah. He's so, so good. So good. So that's what I think of Andy Peters. Yeah.

I could start an Andy Peters Appreciation Society. Could you? I think so. I think he's so good at presenting. Yeah. But is there a male equivalent to a hun? Because what is a male equivalent of a hun? A hun. So then that's a hun as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's a hun because what is a male equivalent of a hun a hun so that's a hun as well

yeah and it's a hun yeah because i was thinking he would be a hun do you think he would be a hun yeah there aren't many i don't know we'll have to ask gareth that question we will because there's got to be a male version of a hun hasn't there yeah i don't know if it's just you know anything goes for a hun do you know i came into the kitchen the other day and Eva was sitting there and she said, oh, Mummy, look what I'm watching. She was watching Dale Winton presenting Supermarket Sweep and she was loving it. Can't beat it.

I did that show with Dale. Did you? I did. With Dale? Yes. Oh, my God. I did. Yeah.

Do you know, have we chatted about this before? Because was it you who said that he, Dale, liked to have... Yes, freezing cold freezing my god he would have been a hun he definitely would have been a hun God rest his soul

wouldn't he so do we have some listener recommendations now yes we do we need to yeah what should we start watching

Lucy Lucy's recommending something to us have a listen to Lucy I actually can't believe nobody else has recommended this maybe they have maybe you just think i'm not gonna watch that um but my recommendation is yellow stone on paramount plus oh my lord it is fantastic um five seasons and the new season has just started um it's got kevin costner in it um loads of it's cowboys really very hot cowboys um but yeah it's just um lots of swearing in it

so if you don't like swearing, I wouldn't watch it. But, yeah, it just tells the tale of a family basically trying to protect their ranch and how well they will do anything to protect their ranch. But, yeah, it's fantastic. Absolutely love it. Five seasons, I'm out. You're not even going to start? I've watched a couple.

Everyone's been talking about it, though. Five seasons. I know, but I like Cowboys, and I can't believe I've not watched it sooner. I'm very happy to watch a few. I'm going to start on it, right. I'm going to start on it. Okay.

And I'm going to, because I think... Yellowstone. I think it would be right up my street. I do. Yeah. All right, I don't mind. I'll join you at the ranch. Let's do Yellowstone.

We've had so much love for our Huns bonus episode last week. So thank you so, so much. It was lovely chatting to Gareth, wasn't it? It was, wasn't it? Really, really lovely. But we really need the voice notes to carry on the bonus sets. And I love our bonus sets. And they're brilliant.

And we love hearing from you we love it so please could you send us some voice notes for your favourite period dramas

moments you like costumes you like ones you remember watching favourite characters anything to do with your period dramas

and we'd love to hear from you because we haven't chatted about a period drama in absolutely ages now have we not for ages Not for ages.

Not for ages. Yes, definitely. Send us the voice notes. Send all of them. And the number to send them to is 03306 784 704. Jo, before we go. Yeah. I can't even believe I'm going to say this out loud.

What? We need to tell the listeners about our special guest that's coming up soon. Oh, my God. I can't believe this. I can't believe it. Oh, my God. Well, for you, right, I'm nervous and excited, right? But for you, because you, well, I mean, my God, everybody now who listens to us knows how much you love comedy and and they know as well how much a program that he you know

obviously was in was just such a huge part of your life and your family and yeah the joy of watching it with your parents oh my god interviewing sir david jason i can't believe we're saying it i can't but i'm oh my goodness i'm so nervous we're gonna do our homework though aren't we yes we're gonna have a really good think about but he's gonna be sitting in our little room for saying it. I can't, but I'm, oh my goodness, I'm so nervous. We're going to do our homework though, aren't we? Yes. We're going to have a really good think about. But he's going to be sitting in our little room with us.

He's going to be sat here. My God, you think he's going to be in the middle of us? Where are we going to put him? I think he'd like to be in the middle of us. I think so.

Oh my God. I think I'm going to be very nervous because I've grown up watching him in all the different parts that he's played. I know,

and I think it will be amazing because from all of his career, Open All Hours, obviously Del Boy, but Frost. Yeah. He's got a new book out. He wants to chat to us about his career. And I just feel like we're very lucky girls. Oh, we are very, very lucky. So please, please listen out for that one

and tell your friends that we are going to be interviewing Sir David Jason. Please share the news. I'm so excited. And if there are any questions that you have for Sir David, but please can you make them nice and snappy and please can you make them relevant about his career. Yes. We just want to big it up and make it the best half an hour of our lives.

So if you can think of something fabulous for Sir David, please send a voice note in and we'll see if we can play it. The best ones will get played. It doesn't have to be a question for Sir David. It could just be one of your favourite memories of his career. Yes. I mean, have you got a favourite Del Boy memory? What about A Touch of Frost

or Open All Hours? There are so, so many shows and moments to choose from in his huge, massive career. So send us the voice notes because we can't wait to hear them. Lovely jubbly. Well, that's us.

That's us for the week. That's us for the week. Oh my God, how do you feel? How are we going to cope? It'll be fine. We just need to play it cool. Play it cool, dear. Play it god, how do you feel? How are we going to cope? It'll be fine. We just need to play it cool, play it cool, dear. Play it cool, dear.

That's going to be yes. Oh dear. Bye. Love you loads. Love you too. See you, darling. Bye. Have a good week. Bye. Off the Telly is hosted by Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page. The producer is Georgia Keating.

The commissioning editor is Rhian Roberts and it's a BBC Studios audio production for BBC Sounds. Hello and welcome to You Heard It Here First. Chris McCausland on BBC Radio 4. This is the show that asks our guests to live in an audio-only world. Where panellists use sound clues to work out what's going on. Guess how this dog's feeling. Constipated.

Yes, definitely. Step, what am I doing? Is that a hand dryer? Is this the same doc? You heard her here first with me, Chris McCausland. Why are you so familiar with that sound? From BBC Radio 4. Listen now on BBC Sounds.