Off The Telly - You can move an elf with BBQ tongs

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page chat about all things on and off the telly.This week Jo is wearing her famous unwashed onesie much to Nat’s despair, and they catch up about how much they love Wolf Hall (despite Jo getting her Cromwells mixed up!). They also can’t believe they’ve only just watched Brassic for the first time, and discuss who would be their ‘groom of the stool’ if push came to shove.What they can’t stop watching, what they definitely aren’t going to bother with, new releases and comforting classics – TV is timeless and no telly is out of bounds.As well as having a natter about what’s on TV, they share backstage goss from the world of telly, whilst also cracking up about the more humbling moments in their lives.Self-confessed TV addicts and stars of two of the biggest shows on our screens, EastEnders and Gavin and Stacey, Natalie and Joanna are the perfect companions to see what’s occurring on and off the telly.Timecodes for shows discussed this week are:21:18 - Wolf Hall (BBC iPlayer) 30:17 - Brassic (Sky)Get in touch by sending us a message or voice note via WhatsApp to 03306 784704.Hosts: Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page Producer: Georgia Keating Executive Producer: Richard Morris Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts Production Co-ordinator: Becky Carewe-Jeffries Sounds Editor: Arlie Adlington Music by MCassoOff The Telly is a BBC Studios Audio Production for BBC Sounds.

BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. Well, hello. Hello, darling. We're now officially in December. Here we go. It's Christmas season. It is. What the listeners don't know is that we're all happy and joyous and we've got our decorations, but we have just been in here for about 20 odd minutes. No, 36 minutes, haven't we?

Trying to work out because we are now doing a virtual recording this week, which half is quite exciting, but also we are useless at it. I'm rubbish at it and I like being in the studio. I don't like it at all, actually. And as per usual, it was so hard to get ourselves together to do it. I don't like it at all, actually. And as per usual, it was so hard

to get ourselves together to do it. I felt so stressed. And we were just saying that I wish that I had a glass of sherry halfway through trying to hear everybody and not echo

and get everything sorted and record. I thought I'm going to get a glass of sherry. And you haven't, have you? And you were just saying you were going to have a Bailey's. I haven't got one.

I haven't got one just simply because I couldn't be arsed to get off the chair. Can I just say, though, you look incredible. Oh, well, I am wearing some makeup. I got up this morning and I knew that I'm back home. So I knew that we'd be doing a remote record. So I put on my famous onesie, which I have notably talked about quite often on the show. And I put it on to get everything... No, of course it's not been washed.

I don't think I'll ever wash it. So your hair and makeup, you look like a rock star. Hair's not. I put this on, right? And I wasn't intending on wearing this. I thought, just put it on now to get the kids ready and everything.

I've sent them off to school for rehearsals for Aladdin. Came back and then I thought, you know what? I'm not going to get the kids ready and everything. I've sent them off to school for rehearsals for Aladdin. Came back and then I thought, you know what? I'm not going to get out of my onesie. I've talked about it so often. Let's show off what the onesie is like. So I've got the onesie off with the vest underneath because it gets quite hot. And then I thought, well, I'm going to have to do extra makeup to make up for it.

But I couldn't be bothered to extend that to washing my hair. So this is my hair. I have to be honest with you. I really, really like your hair like that. But look at it. No, but it looks like, you know when you get models who put lots of gel in their hair? Yes. You would really suit a really short crop with that at the front, gelled.

Oh, I think I quite like that. A bit like Robert Palmer, you know, all the way like that, just playing the guitar. Yeah, I think I could rock that. That's the look I'm going for this morning. It's really lovely, apart from the unwashed one. It's unintentional. Yeah, unintentional.

And from here down, well, I wouldn't say the onesie smells that bad. It's not being washed. I don't think I ever, I don't think onesies should be washed. And the hair's not been washed, but I have got some makeup on my face. I am impressed though, that the onesie's been worn, how many wears do we think it's had?

Seriously. Oh God. Well, it's got to be pushing round about 365 because I had it for Christmas and it's not been washed. And I've worn it nearly every day. I haven't worn it every day, but practically every

day so oh my god as I'm saying that that's making me feel a bit sick because you haven't got any stains on it Jo it's amazing I think it might have been washed about once because I know I have had some stains so I am putting it out there that I think I've probably washed it about once but that's it. It's faded now. Do you like my new nutcracker hat? Oh my God. Yeah, well, the only reason I've put these in, right, is because you came on to record and I said to James, have you seen her decorations?

Look at the holly that she's got. And it looked all so nice. I said, well, we need something. And we had a bit of tinsel on the floor, which we've shoved up there. And then I said, go into the house and get something Christmassy. And so here he is.

The big man himself. I've got Father Christmas, the big man himself. Did your elves turn up this morning? Or your elf? The elves were at the front door sporting two candy canes. But they were sat in front of the door. So it means we can't get out of the house today. Because you can't touch them.

No, so I said we can use barbecue tongs and that's okay. Yeah, I think that's good. Have you seen that video on Instagram? And that little girl runs up the stairs in this house in America and she's so distraught and she's literally screaming, going, they're dead, they're dead, like going berserk. runs up the stairs in this house in America and she's so distraught and she's literally screaming, going, they're dead, they're dead, like going berserk.

Oh no. And it turns out that somebody downstairs, a little girl, has picked up the elf and she's held him and then the other little girl is distraught because, of course, you're not allowed to touch them. Of course, yeah.

Well, I'd say barbecue tongs, though, are all right. That's what I've gone for. It's not a human touch. We now have got... How are yours? Well, we've got five elves. We started out with Dinky, who is our original elf.

And then everybody else wanted their own elves. And they are allowed to touch their own elves, but nobody is allowed to ever touch Dinky. So Dinky arrived today with their elves. And now we've got five reindeer as well. The elves have got their own little reindeer. And so we're allowed to touch the reindeer too, just never ever

dinky. And we have also, dinky arrived this morning on an arctic fox which is all white. So we've now got an arctic fox who I think is coming to visit us. There's a lot of people in your house now. There's a lot, there's a

lot. And I would say that for so many, Dinky, by the end, by the time we get to Christmas Eve, Dinky and the five reindeer

and other four elves and now the Arctic fox are incredibly exhausted by the time he gets to Christmas Eve with all the running around the house he does. I can imagine.

Oh, he's exhausted. Yeah. Flat out on the carpet, I'd imagine. Just all of them lined up together. Well, sometimes he just throws himself at the tree. And we come down sometimes last year and they were just all just shoved in the tree. Yeah.

They're so tired by that point. Yeah. So, I didn't see Strictly last night. I'm going to do it later. I do love it. You know, we went shuffleboarding, Mark Strictly last night. I'm going to do it later. I do love it. You know, we went shuffleboarding, Mark and I, last night. What is shuffleboarding? I have never, ever heard of that.

Brilliant. What the hell is it? So, you know, you can go out to a bar and you can play crazy golf or you can play darts. So this was Mark's sort of Christmas party with some work friends, partners invited, and it's shuffleboarding. And it is, imagine a kind of very, very polished wooden board and it has numbers all over it and then you have weighted,

imagine curling, you know curling, it's a bit, and it's weighted so you have to kind of shove it down the board. It should be called shove it down the board. Yeah. And, you know, you shove your weighted disc down. And because you've got the polish and the weight, the physics of it, so, you know, if you go a bit far, it'll just fall off. But it's like one, two, three, four, five, and there's all different games.

Oh, I like that. And all of us played, and your name pops up on the screen, and then it's your go, and then you have a drink. drink it's really good do you have to shove it with your hand or with your foot really good fun how do you cope with that if you're a bit pissed as well um well i have to say i had a few drinks but completely limited myself because i know it was such a big day today with the elves arriving and everything uh so I wanted to get home in a good state and I wanted to get the advent calendars out. And obviously then the elves were arriving. So you want the house nice.

So I didn't want to get home and forget to do anything, if you know what I mean. Yes, yes. I know what you mean. Oh, well, that sounds good. I have never heard of that before, but that sounds good fun. You'd really like it and you'd be really competitive. Oh, my God. heard of that before but that sounds good fun you'd really like it and you'd be really competitive oh my god in my head as you were saying that i was in my head then thinking my god i'd be competitive over that you really would yeah what's good though is you can knock other people off oh i like it so good fun highly recommend a

bit of shuffleboarding oh nice well all of the christmas parties and stuff are going to be starting now aren't they they are have you got any you got lots of things well not really well there is one but i'm sort of i'm going to be working now so i can't do that but i think as well with our jobs you know because it's like you're self-employed i sometimes it's at this time of the year that i think oh god i wish i worked in the office. Or I wish, you know, that I had, you know, more of a like normal job where I'm not just running around dressing up in different costumes and going from this to this, to this, to this, where, you know, when you have like the office Christmas party. I know what you mean. And so you work with the same people. Yeah. And then you get, you know, because my mum's got two office Christmas parties from two separate groups of people that she worked with when she worked in

the bank. Then she worked with when she worked in the bank. Then she worked with the other bank girls. And then she's got, so she's got two separate Christmas parties that she still goes to even though she's like retired for years. Yeah, that's lovely. And I wish that I'd have had that in my life where, you know, you have that.

But then saying that, I probably would have to leave the job because I'd end up doing something at the Christmas party where I'd embarrass myself or I'd get off with someone like when I was younger or you know I'd end up dancing really stupidly I probably would you know I'd have the like oh god

what did I do the morning after I like the idea of secret Santa as well in the office and what you're going to get people um we did it once at EastEnders and half the presents just got left in reception came back January They were all left there. That's so bloody miserable, isn't it? Well, it's just where everyone's so tired and so busy and everyone wants to just get home. I was talking to Steph Rodri ages ago, who plays Dave Coaches, and he was saying that he did Panto one year

and he was playing Captain Hook in Peter Pan and he was so damn miserable. I can see him as Captain Hook. That's really good casting. Yes. It is, mind, isn't it? Yeah. And he was somewhere quite far away, I think, from home.

And so he was very, very miserable. And he said one night, or it was one afternoon, right, he came off after the first half, and then he went back on for the second half. And he'd been so sore and he was tired, he was miserable, he was halfway through the run that he came back on and he was leaning up against you know

the proscenium arch the show started and he glanced down and he'd forgotten to put his huck back on so he had to put his hand behind his back and motion to someone off stage

and then Smee came on and like had to palm him the huck and give the huck to him and he had to quickly put it back on his hand well he said that they did a secret Santa there and he was so bloody miserable all the way through

that when he opened his secret Santa, it was something like, how to stop being so bloody miserable at Christmas time. It was like a full-on really grumpy one. And he said he didn't find it funny at the time. He just went, oh, for God's sake, and then just left it. Oh, no. Yeah.

If we did a secret Santa with Georgia and Chris, our tech man, I think Chris would buy us 100,000 and 1 things for troubleshooting for technical assistance for dummies. I know. Did you see the Bake Off final? No, I didn't. Neither did I. I've had a very busy week, Jo.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to rush the final of things. No. Well, the thing is, right, I will always watch the Bake Off. I watch every single episode. I watch it all the way through. And for every single series,

even from those early Mary Berry and Sue and Mel days, I have never watched a single final because I don't like it because they change it. And I've said before how much I don't like change. But the final, there's always, I can't even really actually say what happens because I've never watched one. But I know that part of it takes place outside. And I don't like that. I just want it to be the same as all of the other episodes. And I know that some of it takes place outside.

Everybody's there, all the family, everybody else. It's just, it's not the same. And I've never watched the final. It's quite nice, Jo. It's not a bad thing. It's quite a warming episode, the final. I don't like it. I don't like it.

I just like, why are they all standing outside on grass, outside the marquee to find out who's won? Why aren't they inside sitting on the chairs? I don't like it. I don't like it. And I've never ever watched a final. Well, you're missing out. Because they're really good. They're really, really good.

Will you watch mine? Will you going to watch mine? My Christmas special? Oh, of course. I can't wait. I can't wait. I'm really looking forward to it. We all pop outside, though. We all pop outside. Are you going to be alright with that? Are you serious? No, I won't be alright with it. But because it's you,

that will be actually the first final, the first like when somebody's won that I have ever watched actually. But I'll tell you what, I'll watch, but I won't be happy when I'm watching. I have dipped in a little to I'm a celebrity this week. I'm pleased that we're chatting about everything else, Jo, because my telly watching this week has been really bad. I have been super busy and haven't watched much, but I have got to say one thing and one thing only,

and that is I have fallen in love with Grace, GK Barry. I think she's absolutely hilarious. What's she been saying because I've not dipped into it very much this week I can't tell you it's just everything she does

she's just caught my attention I just think she's hilarious she's very dry and she's got this amazing relationship with

Reverend Richard really really they get on well that I smell a documentary a mile off. They will be doing something together. It's brilliant because, you know, worlds apart, ages apart, everything about them, their beliefs, you know, so much is different.

However, they absolutely adore each other. And I love that show for that because you get people together who would never be together in any other circumstance and you watch friendships blossom. And that's why I like I'm a Celebrity also. Yeah, because it is. It's putting two completely different people together that never probably would ever have met.

And then when those people click, it's just really lovely, isn't it? It just shows you that as human beings, you know, when we're backed into a corner that, you know, because I'm in my 40s, all my friends should be 40. And I think we're very lucky because I think in the business that we're in, we've always, as casts or crews, been surrounded with many, many different age groups. Yes, that's true.

And we don't get that, do you? You don't get that generational thing. I've had friends that are 80. You know, I've been on holiday with June Brown when I was 19 and she was 80 and she was my best friend. So I think we're very lucky in what we do. You know, there's no age barrier. But that show gets lots of different people together,

a mishmash of human beings, which is brilliant. And, yeah, I've really loved watching Grace sort of flourish this week. I think she's great. Oh, what about Mel then? Talisa impressed him, didn't she, with her, you know, like mathematics on a task? Oh, I didn't see that. I have to say that she did a task. Oh, I didn't see that.

I have to say that she did a wheel of knowledge, which was awful. I saw a bit of that. It was bloody ridiculous, though. It was really hard. And then it's general knowledge as well, naming 12 of this and 12 of that. I couldn't do it sat in a leather chair, Jo, with a spotlight on me for the telly,

let alone with a load of cockroaches on my face. I mean... When they were saying, I saw a bit of that, like when I was, it was quite late at night, 12 things and then 12 answers for all of them. And when it was like named 12 teams in the Champions League or something, it was just ridiculous.

I thought it was ridiculous. I wouldn't have been able to do that. There was all the geography, there was the 12 American states or something. It was, and 12 is a lot. They could have said five or six at least, but 12. It's a lot, but I suppose it's a clock, isn't it? So it's nice.

I get why they did the 12 because you're going around the clock. But they could have done a piece of pizza and someone's eaten half of it or something. They could have done a pizza, yeah. 12 answers is a hell of a lot to come up with, isn't it? It is when you're filling up with gunge and insects and spiders and cockroaches. It's really a lot to come up with It is when you're filling up with gunge and insects and spiders and cockroaches, it's really a lot to do I mean like I've said to you before

I've been on The Chase and I've been on lots of different quiz shows and your mind goes blank just by being in the studio, it's not the same as being at home, so add to that a bunch of creepy crawlies and a load of gunge, no thank you I'm out. No, no Have you seen

that the Traitors is coming back on New Year's Day I'm so excited I thought of you when I saw it oh my god I'm so excited

I can't wait I'm in the middle oh god yeah I'm in the middle of watching the New Zealand one at the moment we're on episode 4 and I'm loving it

loving it oh my god absolutely loving it so the fact that that's coming on now on New Year's Day, that is really something to look forward to. Yeah, Joanie was really excited when I told her. Oh.

Really excited. And it's not the celeb one, is it? It's just... No, just normal, which is great. So that means that we've got two coming up soon then, haven't we? We've got the one with, like, normal people, but not normal people, like, not celebs. And then straight after that, hopefully,

we'll have, like like the celeb one. Yeah, I wonder when that'll be on. Hopefully they'll stretch it out a little. Oh, my God. I hope it's back to back. I know, you love it, don't you? I could basically be back to back traitors like the whole time. I'll have a listen to this voice now. We've got some lovely ones coming up.

Have a listen. This is Adam Spencer. voice now we've got some lovely ones coming up have a listen this is adam spencer i'm calling you all the way from kansas in the united states i had to download whatsapp to tell you something very important about the film home alone that a lot of people um get wrong and it's the fact that peter mccallister kevin's dad did not pay for their trip to the city of lights in Paris. In fact, it was his brother, Rob who pays for it because he was just recently transferred there and to

celebrate flying a whole family up. Oh, that clears up the myth that Peter's dad is in some way, incredibly wealthy. It just says that he is a quote-unquote businessman and that his mom is a quote-unquote fashion designer. Love the show. Keep up the great work. And as far as Taskmaster

goes, from someone who watches every single episode, my wife and I watch it every single night, I would love to see both of you on future seasons of the show. I think you would be wonderful All the best, bye

I'd love to do a series of Taskmaster with you and me together and I'd specifically just try and beat you It'd be a nightmare wouldn't it I want to show Adam's number because I'd like to ask him how Dorothy's doing I know

that's what I thought as soon as I heard. Kansas. Yeah. Kansas. We're reaching Kansas. Isn't that lovely? Thank you, Adam. We're in the Emerald City.

It's really, really, really lovely. That is lovely. Could you ask Dorothy if I could borrow her shoes? Oh, yeah. This is a really lovely voice note. Have a listen. You'll like this one. Oh, yeah. Hello, girls. Hope you're well. oh yeah this is a really lovely voice note have a listen you'll like this one oh yeah hello girls

hope you're well absolutely loving the pod it is such a find for me um i'm single parent to a donor conceived uh four-year-old so i'm very very much uh a kind of solo parent and on my own a lot and um having you guys just on hand to sit and listen to just makes me sometimes feel like I've got a bit of adult company when I don't um so really thanks for that um while we're talking about inappropriate programs for our children to watch can we talk about inappropriate podcasts for our children to listen to um so me and my little boy love a road trip and we've just got back from um a half-term trip to France France where we slept on a ferry because that's what my little boy wanted to do that was really fabulous but on our journeys we love to listen

to a podcast together particularly my little boy's choice is now this one so there's a little bit of lights wearing in it that seems to go over his head but I think he just loves the laughter every time you guys laugh he laughs um and it's just great that we can kind of sit journey together and have a fun time listening to the pod so keep going because you're literally my lifeline so thanks for that so lovely and well done you brilliant what. What a stellar job. Solo parenting. Amazing. And I'm so pleased he laughs away. It's so nice to hear, isn't it?

That's lovely. A bit of swearing doesn't do anyone any harm. That's what I say. Do you know what my kids have started calling our car? It's called a Volvo, but they've just recently been doing all growing up stuff in school and they're now calling it, quite openly in public, the Vulva. Should we get in the vulva? And I'm like, oh God. And then

Eva actually said, what is that? And I had to explain. But they're now calling it that instead of the vulva. I think it's a better word for a vulva. Vulva's much more interesting. It is, isn't it? So, what have we been watching this week? Well, we have been watching Brassic, which is on Sky.

There's six series of it and it's a brilliant comedy. And we've also been watching Wolf Hall on BBC, BBC One and BBC iPlayer. Jo, the burning question, please. Do you like Wolf Hall? I do. And I know what you mean. It's very, very slow. And it's very dark.

But you can feel it, can't you? And I'm still in episode one. And I started watching it, right, ages ago. But I'm enjoying how long it's taking. Well, I didn't say how long it's taking. Yes, it is taking. How long it's taking. Yes.

Because I started watching it and then I was just fascinated by all of the men in the robes and thinking, God, it was shit to be a woman. I mean, can you just imagine what that would have been like? And the men are all the bosses and then Henry VIII

and then Oliver Cromwell. Then I got completely fascinated by Cromwell so that I had to put it on pause. Then I started going on the internet and I was searching up and reading loads of stuff about Oliver Cromwell then I got completely fascinated by Cromwell so then I had to put it on pause, then I started going on the internet and I was searching up and reading loads of stuff about Oliver Cromwell and then how he died and what he did and all about then Henry the 8th and so I took myself out for a bit to have a read up

about all of that, then I went back to watching a bit more, then I put it on stop again because I was looking at more stuff and then my mother told me yesterday that Oliver Cromwell came down to Swansea at one point and he was doing something down in Park Mill. And mum said, you'll have to ask your dad about that because dad used

to live down Park Mill when he was little. And I was like, yeah, but not when Oliver Cromwell was there. I mean, that would be extraordinary, wouldn't it? No, mum and dad got a time machine in their house, in the shed. So you're enjoying it? That's good. I am enjoying it.

I have... I just... Sorry. Oh, I like Mark Rylance. I just like how softly spoken he is. But he's just got, there's just this threat about him. And he's just the big boss. And, you know, everybody, he can just, whatever he says goes.

And he's like this big boss, you know, so anybody's very softly spoken. But you wouldn't cross him because you basically would lose your head. I love it. I have now just been told that I'm talking about Oliver Cromwell, but Mark Rylands is playing Thomas Cromwell. And when I was watching Wolf Hall, I was pressing pause to go and search on the internet about Oliver Cromwell. And it turns out I was then going back to watching Mark Rylance and it's not the same Cromwell. So I've been watching Tudor. No wonder I found it quite upsetting thinking he's full of menace when it's the voice of the BFG. Well, I'm going to have to go back now and watch it from the beginning again, aren't I?

Because I've been watching the wrong man. I've been watching him on the thing, talking to Henry VIII, then going off and researching him because I've been enjoying the history so much, but I've been researching the wrong man. Who is Oliver Cromwell? Well, you've done the research. Because I've researched him. Who the hell is Thomas Cromwell? Is he related to Oliver? It's 100 years later as well. So when you were researching, did you not notice that he had nothing to do with Henry VIII? I thought it was quite odd because there wasn't anything about Henry VIII, but I just thought that they were focusing on him. Well, do you know what,

Jo? I really enjoyed you talking about Oliver Cromwell and I'm going to look on Wikipedia this afternoon and look him up because he sounds like a very interesting man. It's interesting because obviously Thomas Cromomwell he came from a very very working class background so he was from putney and he was a working class person his dad was working class worked with his hands so so to watch this kind of rise and where he got to with henry the eighth is quite extraordinary when you really think about it and the class divisions and what went on back in those days. I popped on Series 2.

I feel like I want to go back. It was such a long while ago when I watched Series 1 that I love it so much I think, oh, I just want to watch it all again and then get into Series 2. Yes. But then it worries me that i i kind of i've forgotten a lot of bits that i watched you know because it is quite a couple a good few years ago that i watched it but series two starts off with a petrified amberlim being

kind of taken over to tell you know the tower london and she's there looking up at the tower looking for hope and then they take her crown off put a white hat on chop her head off with a sword it's awful I started straight in

in series 2 because I thought right okay I'll just I'll start on series 2 but I am going to go back and do series 1 but I mean

can you imagine that Henry VIII I think Damien Lewis is really good as Henry VIII amazing can you just imagine imagine marrying him you'd be terrified

you'd be terrified. You'd be terrified, wouldn't you? And she looked terrified. And obviously he's desperate for a son and desperate for a boy. But to think that a man can shove his wife off and to know that he, that lady that he lived with and supposedly loved, whilst he's just putting on his wedding robes to marry someone else who's being killed.

It's horrific, isn't it, really? What a horrible, horrible man he was. Yeah, and just to say, and then I started reading up all about his death and how he died and how big he was by the end and just thinking, oh my God. And then him deciding to change the whole of the church. Absolutely.

Because he'd had enough of his wife and he wanted to have a new one. He fancied somebody else. I know, I know. You'd be so frightened wouldn't you? I know it's boring or it might sound boring, but I do have to mention it again. The way it's shot, this thing, it is like a painting. It is so beautiful.

The music is beautiful. I just, I really love it. It is actually one of my favourite things for my eyes to watch and to listen to. Yeah, it looks amazing. I just think it's brilliant. And Mark Rylance is so good. The way he phrases things, you know, just one of those actors that,

if you got the lines, you'd never say it like that. Yeah. And he just sounds so natural as well. And's so I don't know what is he just seems really incredibly human like he does have empathy but then also you think my god he's you know sorting everybody out and planning these things and doing all of this for Henry he has a heart though he's only doing it for Henry I wouldn't say he's menacing. I think he's very interesting and he can't believe he's got to the position he's got to in the class that he's come from. Oh, it's just really interesting. And listen, us Brits are obsessed with Henry VIII,

one of the most spoken about kings, the most spoken about, I think, in terms of television, theatre, book. But I think this is a fantastic sort of snippet into a certain part of his life. So please watch it. BBC One and BBC iPlayer. There are two series out, but series two is still coming out.

So they haven't sort of just chucked it on us, which I like as well. You can't get to the end yet, which I like. Very rare these days. But you're in it. Do you know in it discovered as well um when i went back and i was seeing about the men who were in the chamber with henry

and his aides that he had and his friends and his close circle there was something like not patron or ruler or not something like that but it was something like groom of the stool. And they were talking about Henry's close friends and close companions. And one of his close people there and his friends, they dressed him, but then there was also groom of the stool. And it was the man who wiped Henry's bottom and helped him go to the toilet and changed his pants.

The groom of the stool was one of his most trusted advisors who would you have for your groom of the stool well i think i think it would have to be james my husband okay because i don't think i'd want anybody else to be that person and i know that that would kind of be like well do you really want your husband to be a groom of the stool and wipe your bum and change your pants? But I kind of feel like we've already been there because as soon as you have children, before having children, right, he hadn't even heard me fart. After having children and four of them, I think that James could, well, I think I could hand him over the trophy of groom of the stool because he's gone above and beyond groom of the stool. What about with you?

James couldn't do that for me. I think, no, my Mark wouldn't be able to do that. He gags, he doesn't like anything like that. Really? Really, he would. I'm sure he would if he had to, but I wouldn't give him the job, or trophy, as you say, which is stretching it, I think. I don't think it's a reward, this job.

I'd probably give it to probably one of my best mates, Sophie. My best mate, Sophie. Really? Yeah, I think she'd just get on with it for me and she wouldn't tell anyone about it and it would just be something that happened and she'd just help me out. Isn't it nice, though?

We actually have people in our lives that we could trust that much. Who could wipe our arses. Now, what else did we watch? Oh, we watched Brassic. Yes. I can't believe Brassic is on Sky, right? I've had Sky for ages. Sorry, can I just say one thing?

You know, I said to you the first series of Wolf Hall was a couple of years ago. I've just checked it. It was nine years ago. No wonder I can't remember it. And I've just got these images and music in my head and thinking, oh, my memory's terrible. Nine years ago? Oh, my God.

That's ages. That's ages. That's ages. Why did they wait so long for a second series? Because it just is so intricate and so well done. They've not rushed it. Nine years. Nine years. Wow.

So, yes, we do need to go back, I think, and watch series one again. Sorry, moving on. So Brassic's been on. It's had six series. And I've never, ever seen this programme. Me neither. And I like the people who were in it. Yeah, Michelle Keegan's really good.

She's brilliant. But same as you. I hadn't watched it. I hadn't watched it either. All I can tell you, I popped it on. I had a little look. And I thought, this is right up my street. It is raw.

It's, you know, set in the north. No one's got any money. And it's very, very real, isn't it? Real. Yeah. Quite shocking in a way, some of it. But you go, bloody hell, this happens. But there's a heart in it, isn't there?

And it is bloody funny, some of the scenarios. It is, isn't it? I watched the first episode of the latest series. And everybody, and it's really nice as well, because you can watch them all, you know, they were all in a big group together and then they were going down to like down in this shoot thing, you know, where this underground hideaway thing.

But just watching them all together, you could see that they've been working with each other for years. Yeah. Because it's like six series in now. There was just like a really nice chemistry with them all that you can tell that they're mates and that they know each other and that they're used to working with each other. And it was lovely.

Michelle Keegan, it was really nice because the stuff I've seen her before, she's so beautiful. Yes. And so, well, she's just so beautiful and just so perfect in everything. And then watching her in this, she's really like, she's really down to earth. Yes. I thought she was great.

I thought she was really good. Yeah. I liked it. I thought it was funny. funny I'm gonna definitely put it on again for me I know it's that is something I definitely wouldn't watch with the children yeah thank goodness I've said that because well the one I watched was just as soon as it started two minutes in he was wanking over like this exercise video and I'd yeah so it's one to watch when everybody else is in bed. Yeah, it's quite an adult one. And that's why I might dip into it, but I do love watching stuff which can be on my telly.

So, you know, I do think it is important to remember what we watch. So maybe I don't put Sky stuff on, which is going to be a late night comedy when I think about it because it is going to be a bit too risque. And that's probably why I've not seen that because my viewing and my habits is to kind of have it on in the lounge and be around the kids. I don't sort of shut myself off and I don't watch enough telly on my own

because I'm bloody knackered and me and Mark will just watch a drama or something, you know, we don't really watch. So it is funny. I just thought it would be interesting to talk about how we've missed something that's six series in and really good. And how much actually is on the telly and how much do we miss? Probably quite a lot, Jo. Well, yeah, because I mean, I think it is our stage in our life at the moment, isn't it? Because I'm exactly the same.

And also I'm knackered. So me and James barely watch anything together anyway, because I'm still sleeping with Bo. Or, you know, he'll go up with the other ones or I'll still be you know feeding Bo or catching up with her when's that gonna stop when you're gonna get in your own bed Jo I don't know I've gone back in a few times right and when I have Jesus Christ it's comfortable like I my neck stops being so stiff right and I have a really good night's sleep and it's really nice and I slept in our main bed the other night and I left the doors open

and in the middle of the night I woke up because she's grown up enough now that she climbs out of hers and she was in the hallway and she just called me and I woke up and I was like,

oh, you know, and I went and settled her back in and now she's got her big girl's bed so we've got a proper, you know, bed for her now. But I can't help myself. Like, I clutched in with her last night we celebrated her birthday three

yesterday and she's all really big and cute and she talks so much she came into the living room at one point right because they'd been watching Aladdin in the kitchen and she came in and she went mummy I don't like that film it is not good for me and she was saying just how much she wasn't enjoying it

but I clutched in bed with her It is not good for me. And she was saying just how much she wasn't enjoying it. But I cuddled in bed with her. And she's like a small bear. And she's all just like just catching up and she's all warm. And she's lovely. I do get a terrible stiff neck. It's very good. It's really kind because I'd say get in your own bed.

Shut the door. Go into bed on my own. I know. I don't know when it's going to stop. I'm still breastfeeding her as well. And she's just turned three and my entire family now, they're all going, Mummy, when are you going to stop breastfeeding Bo? And I'm just like, I don't know.

I don't know. Doesn't matter. People go on for ages, don't they? Whatever suits you, Jo. Whatever makes you both happy. Don't worry about anyone else. You've got to do what you want to do, but do worry about your neck. Do worry about James having a little cuddle. Poor James goes to bed on his own, doesn't he? Oh, God love him.

Bless him. Now, remember you can watch Brassic on Sky or now. Jo, we've got to have a chat about this. Sir David Jason, Telly Legends special is going to be dropping this Friday. This Friday, Jo. Oh, my gosh. This Friday. We can listen to it be dropping this Friday. This Friday, Jo. Oh, my gosh. This Friday. We can listen to it in full on Friday.

I was going to ask our producer, Georgia, to send it to me, but I'm not going to. I'm going to wait till it comes out. I'm so beside myself. I can't wait for you all to hear it. I'm beside myself. I keep going back, Jo, and I keep thinking about it. Keep just going through the morning step by step remember how

nervous we were and just savoring being there with him oh how lucky we are and i'm really please tell your friends tell all your friends even if they don't listen to off the telly if they like to david jason i mean who doesn't please listen to this because he talks about things that he's never spoken about anywhere before. Because we have we're really friendly and warm and we really have a good chat with him. And I think everyone will love this. And I know I keep saying it, but I feel so grateful to have met him. Oh, my God. Me too. Me too. So thank you so much to all of our listeners who've already sent in voice notes for Sir David. We really, really appreciate it. Here's a taste of what some of you have been saying.

My favourite memory of David Jason actually is his voice from the BFG. Such a brilliant, authentically British film. And I'm a massive Roald Dahl fan and I read it to my children. And whenever I'm reading it, all I can hear is his voice. I think for our generation particularly, he's really distinctive for that role. So thank you, Sir David, because what a lovely memory we've got of him that we'll always have. That's lovely. That's so true, isn't it? I mean, the BFG.

Let's hear another voice note about about sir david from one of our listeners oh my god i have literally honestly i've just screamed in my car listening to um the podcast when you've just said that you are interviewing sir david jason oh my god um so yeah very exciting um so i've not really got a question but I did want to tell you just a little little story um about Only Fools and Horses so I remember flying to Portugal with my mum and dad I must have been about 10 um nearly 40 now um and it was on the, but I don't know if you remember on the plane, you never used to have those, like, you know, each TV yourself. It was those, there was about four down the aisle on one side and then four on the other. Anyway, Only Fools and Horses was on. The classic chandelier.

Well, my dad's laugh, honest to God, it, it just took over the whole entire plane everybody was laughing at of course only fours and horses but then because of my dad's laugh because he was laughing so much because of course we'd watched it I don't know how many times in our household he knew what was coming nobody could watch what was actually going on because they were just laughing at my dad's laugh because it was just comedy gold but you know memories like that we have to thank people like Sir David Jason sorry my parents aren't here oh dear anyway Samantha in Bristol thank you so much again. Oh, Samantha. See, this is what I mean. What a lovely message.

Beautiful, beautiful message. And you are right. Samantha, I'm exactly the same. When I really think back to sitting on the sofa with my mum and dad, watching Only Fools, it means so much to me. And I haven't got my parents anymore, so I know exactly how you feel. And it is, it's a magical, nostalgic feeling. And it takes you right back to being with them. So I know exactly how you feel and it is it's it's a magical nostalgic feeling and it takes you right back to being with them so I know exactly what you mean and it is so special that

we're interviewing him so I really really hope that you love Friday's special. It's December now so it's nearly Christmas time so we are just going to be talking about festive telly for the rest of the month but please do keep sending us your recommendations and we will revisit them in the new year but for now it's Christmas telly we want to know about your favourite Christmas telly send us your voice notes and we might play them in our special Christmas episode we also want to hear about your favourite Gavin and Stacey moments and if you're excited for the finale, I mean, who's not going to be excited? The number is 0-3-3-0-6-7-8-4-7-0-4.

And we can't wait to hear all your questions for Jo. Be brilliant. Oh, my God. I went in to do my ADR for the special the other day. How was it? So I've actually seen some of it. Is it looking fantastic? I'm not saying anything

because I don't want to spoil it for anybody but I've got to be honest. I was doing ADR so, you know, I was like voicing bits of it and I ended up getting drawn into it

and watching it like as if I wasn't in it. I'm genuinely looking forward to sitting down on Christmas Day with my family and watching this and watching the Christmas special.

And that is you who's been in it. So imagine how we feel. Oh my Christ. Right. I think that's all for today, Jo. I'm going to go and get the potatoes peeled. Do a bit of work.

Have you heard my stomach rumbling? This morning, I've just had a coffee and a banana because I'm in between size 12 petite and 14 petite red trousers because I don't own any suits or anything right and I bought myself a burgundy brownie suit in velvet and a red suit in velvet so I'm too big for a size 12 petite trouser yet too small for a size 14 petite trouser so I'm in between and I'm like oh oh, I don't know what's going on. And I don't know when I finally finished breastfeeding.

I'm so confused. All I said was I was going to go and peel a potato. I don't know what we're talking about now. You've just gone off on one. Because I'm starving, right? I'm starving. Right, okay. And I can't wait to have food, right?

Because for breakfast, normally I'll have a big breakfast. I've just had a flipping banana. So that's why I had a banana today because I thought that might make the difference between which size you're going to keep. Right. I'm not sure it happens that quickly, but fine.

Go for it. Knock yourself out. I had a quarter of a bacon baguette because I made Mark and Joni loads of bacon. I did lovely big bacon rolls this morning. Mark's put all the Christmas lights up outside. They look beautiful. He's going around all the house. He's gone around put all the Christmas lights up outside. They look beautiful. He's going around all the house.

He's gone around doing all the lights. So he was doing that. I said, here's a little bacon roll. And I had a little sliver of Joanie's and I've had a Bailey's coffee. So now I'm going to go and make myself another Bailey's coffee and get cracking with a roast dinner, put a bit of Christmas music on and that's me for the day. God, me too. I'm copying you. I'm going to go in and I'm going to have a Bailey's coffee

and then hopefully James has started the roast. Fantastic. And I'm going to make him put the Christmas lights out outside the house as well because we had nice ones up last year but he's not put them up yet this year. So I'm going to make him put those up as well. But once he's finished cooking the roast. He hasn't got a lot to do, the poor love. Then he goes to bed on his own. Then he goes to bed on his own then he goes to bed on his own honestly but never mind he's been given the trophy of groom of the stools groom of the stools there you go what more can you want joe i'll speak to you soon i'm ending it there see you see you next See you next week. Bye, love. Bye. Bye, darling. Bye, everyone.

Off the Telly is hosted by Natalie Cassidy and Joanna Page. The producer is Georgia Keating. The commissioning editor is Rhian Roberts and it's a BBC Studios audio production for BBC Sounds. Hi, I'm Ronald Young Jr. And I'm here to introduce myself to all of you who love listening to podcasts in the UK. Welcome to my world on the other side of the pond. I'm the host of Pop Culture Debate Club, the show that debates the important issues of our time. Is West Wing better than Veep? Does an

iPhone beat an Android? Such questions we battle over on Pop Culture Debate Club with comedians and pop culture commentators. We'd love to welcome you all too. It's a competition, but a really fun one. You can find us on BBC Sounds and any other podcast provider. You'd be so welcome to join us.